Speaker 1: You are doing way too much over explaining and people
Speaker 1: have way too much access to you. Simply put, you
Speaker 1: need some boundaries for your mouth and some boundaries for
Speaker 1: your phone. Good morning, and welcome to your message of
Speaker 1: the day. Know that, regardless of when it was uploaded,
Speaker 1: if you found this message or it found you, then
Speaker 1: your spirit team probably has something they've been trying to
Speaker 1: say and you've been ignoring them, so they found another way.
Speaker 1: Remember that the cards always open the conversation, but the
Speaker 1: real work happens when we lean into our intuition and
Speaker 1: listen for our own confirmations. Because terror and oracle itself
Speaker 1: is just a tool, and each card, much like everything
Speaker 1: else in life, is subject to interpretation.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it. So let's talk about the over explaining. First.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, on the surface, you do it because you're
Speaker 1: afraid of being misunderstood.
Speaker 2: How do I know that? Because I'm the Wizard of Oz.
Speaker 2: I'm just kidding. I'm forty.
Speaker 1: Okay, take my old school jokes and please enjoy them.
Speaker 1: But no, in all seriousness, let me just fix this microphone. Okay,
Speaker 1: in all seriousness, I know that because that was me
Speaker 1: by nature. I'm a very direct person. But somewhere along
Speaker 1: the way, obviously in my childhood, because isn't that where
Speaker 1: everything starts, I realized that most people are really uncomfortable
Speaker 1: with directness. People say that they want the truth, but
Speaker 1: they're full of shit because when you do give them
Speaker 1: the truth without a spoonful of sugar to help the
Speaker 1: medicine go down, they get mad. And like most of us,
Speaker 1: I didn't want people to be upset with me because
Speaker 1: to me, someone upset with me equaled conflict.
Speaker 2: I never liked conflict. I still don't like.
Speaker 1: Conflict to this day, but I have a different understanding
Speaker 1: of it now. But I digress. I am a recovering
Speaker 1: people pleaser. Do you see the pipeline?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: If this is resonating with you, are you starting to
Speaker 1: see your own pipeline?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: So again, on the surface, you do it because you're
Speaker 1: afraid of being misunderstood. But underneath that layer is you
Speaker 1: thinking to yourself. You know, if I could just say
Speaker 1: the right thing, given of context, soften the delivery, or
Speaker 1: preempt every possible misunderstanding, I could avoid all conflict, judgment,
Speaker 1: or the thing I'm afraid of most rejection. This is
Speaker 1: why I'm notorious for staying on women's neck. About the
Speaker 1: importance of inner work as a habit, not a one
Speaker 1: time thing, not something you do for six months and
Speaker 1: then drop no, no, no, as something you do regularly
Speaker 1: consistently for the rest of your life. Because the habits
Speaker 1: we pick up, or the way we think we need
Speaker 1: to be as kids with a brain that isn't developed,
Speaker 1: so we do our best to survive, is linked to
Speaker 1: acceptance because as kids, we're not old enough to survive
Speaker 1: on our own.
Speaker 2: Duh.
Speaker 1: We as children were quite literally dependent on everyone else
Speaker 1: around us, so we needed acceptance, right. But a lot
Speaker 1: of what we conform to as children needs to be
Speaker 1: reassessed as adult women because those very habits that once
Speaker 1: kept us air quotes here as kids right in our
Speaker 1: own way, only hurt us now as adult women. I
Speaker 1: want you to think about that for a second. Okay,
Speaker 1: as adults women, Now you're explaining yourself in moments when
Speaker 1: no explanation is needed. A simple example I see women
Speaker 1: do all the time. Excuse me, is this when they
Speaker 1: meet a guy and they'll say, I want to You
Speaker 1: know what, when I say it, You're gonna think to yourself, shit,
Speaker 1: I do that all the time. Okay, so walk with me.
Speaker 1: You meet a guy. He wants to take you out
Speaker 1: on a date. He suggests Friday night. But Friday, you
Speaker 1: have plans with yourself. You've got plans with yourself. You respond, Oh,
Speaker 1: I can't Friday because I've had a really long week
Speaker 1: and I promise myself i'd rest. And I know that
Speaker 1: might sound boring, but I really just need it and
Speaker 1: it Hello, why the fuck are you explaining all that
Speaker 1: to a man you just met. Oh, Friday doesn't worry
Speaker 1: for me, actually, but how about Saturday?
Speaker 2: Is enough? That's enough? That's enough? Right?
Speaker 1: Another example, a friend of yours hits you up asking
Speaker 1: if you can help her do our favor, and it's
Speaker 1: last minute. Here you go, Oh my god, girl, I
Speaker 1: would love to help, but I'm really busy today. Plus
Speaker 1: my car is doing this weird thing when I started.
Speaker 1: Plus I have to go to the floors before they close.
Speaker 1: I can get some flowers from my mom and beloved,
Speaker 1: A simple shit, I can't today, girl, Sorry about that?
Speaker 2: Is good enough? Is good enough?
Speaker 1: Which brings me actually to your phone, the stuff with
Speaker 1: your phone. This is another one that I work through
Speaker 1: with my clients all the time. Your need to respond
Speaker 1: to everything immediately equals allowing people to have access to
Speaker 1: you whenever they want. More than that, you've trained people
Speaker 1: to believe that they can have access to you whenever
Speaker 1: they want. And it's not just your text messages, It's
Speaker 1: not just you answering the phone. So many women have
Speaker 1: all of their cye canty, all of their social media
Speaker 1: notification sign and then wonder why they feel so drained
Speaker 1: all the time. So pulled on, tugged on from all
Speaker 1: these different directions, will know shit. Someone texts you, you
Speaker 1: feel like you have to respond right away. Someone dns you,
Speaker 1: even a stranger, you feel like you have to respond
Speaker 1: right away. Let me tell you something.
Speaker 2: Listen to me.
Speaker 1: Listen to me. Hey, gime here, listen to me. Toggle
Speaker 1: all social media notifications too off. Then learn to put
Speaker 1: your phone on D and D between certain hours of
Speaker 1: the day. The majority of things people are messaging you
Speaker 1: throughout the day. I promise you are not urgent.
Speaker 2: You know it. I know it.
Speaker 1: Every it's not urgent, and a lot of it is
Speaker 1: actual bullshit. If you're going to keep it a buck
Speaker 1: with yourself, and if you want to keep it a
Speaker 1: buck fifty with yourself, A lot of it is disruptive.
Speaker 1: Your friend sending you a TikTok that is rage bait
Speaker 1: talking about girl. Look at this is disruptive. It's disruptive
Speaker 1: to your nervous system. It's disruptive to your emotions. It's
Speaker 1: a disruptive to your thought, Like what you were thinking
Speaker 1: about that? It's disruptive. Some guy who follows you on
Speaker 1: ig sliding into your DMS to make a comment about
Speaker 1: a story that you posted is disruptive.
Speaker 2: Who is this? Who is this strange man in mind?
Speaker 1: You right, it's disruptive, it's distracting, and it's signaling to
Speaker 1: people that they can have access to you whenever they
Speaker 1: so please. Because you respond right away, people can bet
Speaker 1: on you responding right away all the time, no matter
Speaker 1: what it is. So I personally don't have social media
Speaker 1: of any kind anymore. But when I did, every single
Speaker 1: of my notifications were turned off. Every single one of
Speaker 1: my notifications were turned off. I turned them on once
Speaker 1: some years ago, and when I tell you, I almost
Speaker 1: had an aneurysm from all the notifications I were coming up.
Speaker 1: I said to myself, Oh, hell to the No, that's
Speaker 1: not going to that is not going to be a thing. No,
Speaker 1: cut that shit rad the hell off my phone. If
Speaker 1: it's not on D and D, it's on silent eighty
Speaker 1: five percent of the time, and even when it's on
Speaker 1: ring mode. I respond to messages within two timeframes, excuse me,
Speaker 1: one around noon when I'm taking a break from my stuff.
Speaker 1: My stuff is what I've got going on for the day,
Speaker 1: and then again around six seven pm when I'm done
Speaker 1: my stuff for the day. Right, no one knows it
Speaker 1: about me, so no one is feeling some type of
Speaker 1: way or getting their panties in a bunch. Also, let
Speaker 1: me just add the women in my life, my friends,
Speaker 1: my homegirls, are very self sufficient women who operate in
Speaker 1: the same way. They have their own lives, with their
Speaker 1: own career. They got their own shit going on, and
Speaker 1: they got stuff happening. So not at a ten times
Speaker 1: when they send me a hit girl, just checking in
Speaker 1: on your message, I promise you they forgot that shit.
Speaker 1: They forgot that they even sent that shit. So by
Speaker 1: the time I respond, they're like, ohit, I forgot I
Speaker 1: sent that. Hey, right, Also, everybody knows if it's urgent,
Speaker 1: they'll call twice in a row or they'll add a
Speaker 1: nine to one one at the beginning of the text. Sure,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying you know, sometimes if I have nothing
Speaker 1: going on, I'll answer outside those timeframes. But the point
Speaker 1: is it's on my terms because this is my life.
Speaker 1: And on the flip side, I heavily respect other people's
Speaker 1: terms because it's their life. This is what boundaries look
Speaker 1: like in action. So many women think that they need
Speaker 1: to say to people, this is my boundary, This is
Speaker 1: my boundary, Hey, boundary, Hey, this is my boundary. Stop
Speaker 1: because that's another explanation or justification that people don't need,
Speaker 1: nor do they care the majority of the time, nor
Speaker 1: do they care about the word itself. And you only
Speaker 1: say it because again, you fear being misunderstood and you
Speaker 1: want to make sure everyone is comfortable with the choices
Speaker 1: you're making for your.
Speaker 2: Own well being.
Speaker 1: You don't realize that you're handing people a sense of
Speaker 1: authority over your choices that they have no business having
Speaker 1: in the first place. Listen to me, Listen to let
Speaker 1: me tell you something. Your personal decisions for your own
Speaker 1: wellbeing are not a Reddit thread. Okay, they don't need
Speaker 1: to be openly discussed, they don't need to be think pieces.
Speaker 1: Knock it off, right, You're not a child anymore. You
Speaker 1: don't need to be accepted by everyone around you and
Speaker 1: everyone you come into contact with, and everybody who says, hey,
Speaker 1: how you doing. Your world is no longer as small
Speaker 1: as it was when you were a kid. So you
Speaker 1: can expand your world now, you really can, and you should,
Speaker 1: so that you can align yourself with people who get it,
Speaker 1: who don't need your over explanations because well, first of all,
Speaker 1: they're secure within themselves, and people who don't need to
Speaker 1: have access to you and demand because they know that
Speaker 1: you're a person with your own life, because they too
Speaker 1: are people with their own lives. We really are who
Speaker 1: we hang with, you know. But that's another message for
Speaker 1: another day. When the cards say that it is so
Speaker 1: on that note, I shall end this here. I really
Speaker 1: hope this helped you connect some dots for yourself today.
Speaker 1: By the way, today's message came from the Queen of
Speaker 1: Swords and the four of Pentacles. Oh and in case
Speaker 1: you are new here, my name is Cynthia b I'm
Speaker 1: an accountability coach and mentor who teaches women the lost
Speaker 1: art of self mastery. It just so happens that I'm
Speaker 1: also deeply in tune with all things magical and mystical
Speaker 1: that are rooted in spirituality. I mean, what kind of
Speaker 1: places what I be if I didn't honor the range
Speaker 1: of my dualities?
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't offer private readings in case that's what you
Speaker 1: think you need, because when it comes to one on
Speaker 1: one work with women, I prefer to do the kind
Speaker 1: that involves unearthing the roots and planting new seats. So
Speaker 1: if you're interested in that kind of work, then please,
Speaker 1: by all means audacity redefined dot com is where you
Speaker 1: can find me Until tomorrow, go make the day work
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 2: Much love,