Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell. I am Chris, and my eternal
punishment in the afterlife is to do a podcast with
my co host and best friend Clayton Me. How are
you doing, Chris, I'm doing good. Episode two, Episode two.
We're going strong, Number two, number dose. That's right.
Speaker 2: I walked in, I said number two, and then I
shut on the.
Speaker 1: Carpet and then and then here we are. We're doing
episode two. Yeah. So the first episode went out last
week and wow, it's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, reviews are in. Everybody loves it. It is the
number one podcast in all of Hell.
Speaker 1: Do you believe that I can because it's you made
everyone listen to it? That's correct. Yes, we have.
Speaker 2: We erected several speakers around Hell. Everybody's required to listen
to it. They're listening to it live right now as
we're recording it. Yeah, it's been hell.
Speaker 1: What do you mean people have been treating me differently,
not necessarily in a good way, like like I'm being blamed.
Oh really? Wow?
Speaker 2: So your local celebri over here? Oh wait, can I
have your autograph?
Speaker 1: Chris? Yeah? That's They're not asking for my autograph? No, no, what.
Speaker 2: Are they asking for? High fives? Hugs, you're a big
star now, Chris.
Speaker 1: Blood, blood, a lot of blood, a lot of blood letting, selfies,
no selfies. Oh no, I had been stabbed with a
selfie stick. Oh yeah, I haven't heard of that one yet.
You'll get used to it. It's it's great. Yeah, I
did make one friend. Who's that well. I was walking
and then I got stuck in the swamp of sorrow
and sorrow like the gay Blade, No sorrow, Sorrow. Sorrow
is the lord of the rings character Swamp of Sorrow.
You I don't know. I was stuck in a swamp, okay,
and then I was I was just sitting there for
a while, and then I looked over and Helen Keller
was there, and we had We didn't talk much, but
we did have like a connection because we were both,
you know, sinking slowly into the swamp for a long time.
And yeah, I think we had a connection. It must
have been a great, great conversation. Yeah it was, well,
I think it was more. Your eyes can tell can
say a lot. Yeah, yeah, no, totally.
Speaker 2: I don't know if she knew you were there or not,
but that's that's a great I'm glad that you're making friends.
Speaker 1: Chris, you're fitting in. Yeah, yeah, I would say we
should have her on sometime, but I don't know how
far that episode's gonna go. Well. Also, why I didn't realize.
Speaker 3: She was a Hell?
Speaker 1: What does she do wrong? I don't know. She didn't
really talk to much interesting.
Speaker 2: Well, Hey, before we get too far into today's episode,
I have a couple of updates. First of all, I
have an announcement. A massive scenk cole has opened up
on inter Sate six sixty six. All residents of Hell
are urged to jump in. We got a weather forecast.
Things are looking colder than usual today. It'll be one
hundred and forty degrees fahrenheit, so don't forget to grab
a sweater. In addition to that cold front, we should
expect some light showers from the polar ice caps melting
and seeping into the core of the earth.
Speaker 1: Also, a quick note from the Social crew.
Speaker 2: We're having a blood mixer, so we're welcoming all infidels
to come on out. We'll spill their blood and demons
will bathe in it. Have a blood orgy. Should be
a great time. Chris, you gotta be there, have a choice, No, Okay, okay,
I'll see the great Well. I think it's about time
we bring on our guests. But before we do, we
need to talk about something. This is the disappointed father
talking to his son that he beats. We had an
incident and you tried to escape Hell. How did that
go for you?
Speaker 1: Not great? Considering I'm here right.
Speaker 2: You're back here square one, and I cut off both
of your legs just to make sure you're not gonna
go anywhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but just the likes. The penis still missing. Penis
is still just kind of a big lumpy stump. So yeah,
just from the bottom half down. Nothing. You might get
some stuff back if you do well, but uh yeah,
we don't. We don't run away from Hell. No. Why
is that, Chris, because I lose legs.
Speaker 2: No, it's because we have a badass security force and
they're gonna catch you. They're gonna bring you back. It's
gonna be like Seal Team six six six. They're they're
on it. They are professionals. So we're gonna bring in
our first guest. Come on in, Captain Chaos.
Speaker 3: Gentlemen, gentlemen, Hello, how are you Clayton?
Speaker 1: How's the family?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: They're great.
Speaker 2: I mean, my brother still an asshole, but thanks for asking.
Of course I've done great work with the man, great
work with the man. Uh you know my time in
the in the Hell Army. That's how I got the
name Captain Chaos. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have since been demoted back to general.
Speaker 2: Security in the Fourth Ring of Hell, which is where
we caught this little whipper snapper here.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, that's agreed, if I'm not mistaken.
Speaker 2: You know a lot of people think that there's a
lot of misunderstanding boogie boarders.
Speaker 1: They wind up there the entire Fourth Ring. That explains
why there were so many people.
Speaker 2: Exactly, you know, like learn to surf and get off
your stomach. It just makes no sense. I just but
so they're all swamping around that place. I knew there
were renovations on the Fourth Ring. I didn't know why,
but that makes sense. Yeah, there's a lot going on
right there. Plenty of crime, which we love. Yeah, of course,
people sneaking around like this. Uh you know, Keller's always
slinking around. But I think she's just lost. You know,
we see Chris wandering around. I saw the I saw
the bar code. I knew it was yours ye stitched
on his face. Yeah, yeah, it makes it easy. Well,
we appreciate your service, Captain Chaos. What you did was
should we talk on first name basis?
Speaker 3: Doug?
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, yeah, Doug Chaos, Yeah, Doug Chaos, Yeah yeah,
Doug G.
Speaker 1: Chaos. What was the G forre again? Doug?
Speaker 3: Doug Doug?
Speaker 1: Okay, Doug Doug Chaos. Thank you so much for coming by.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, Chris is down here, and
you know, I thought it was an important topic to
cover about, you know, our security here in Hell, you know,
for our new listeners from Earth. Don't even try getting
down here. I mean, if you die, you're you're down here.
But like, don't try to break in to break Chris out.
Are there a lot of people trying to break into Hell.
It happens. It happens more often than you think. Most
of them get caught on that first ring.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: That that's a real tough one from them. They got
they got the big dogs up there, literally the dog.
Speaker 1: Dog.
Speaker 3: What a little scamp that thing is.
Speaker 1: I love him to death.
Speaker 3: You throw a tennis ball and he kills a guy.
Gotta love him a man. But a lot of people
try to break in.
Speaker 2: We had that Dante fiasco a while ago, but that
got solved eventually. Oil miners big problem. They thrilling through
by accident, right, you know, and it's it's hell is
a one way in and one way out. I've been
I've been asking for the wall. It's not up yet.
It'll get there, but you know, I'm just thinking like
broken bottles that don't keep people.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Well, no, we're actually I think we're up in the
ante with the security for the wall. Yeah, the wall, Yeah, Chris,
I think I told you about some of this.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. He was telling me that if I even
made it to the wall, it was just a wall
of children.
Speaker 2: And yeah, the screams make like a sound barrier. Yeah,
it's really it's really hard to get near it.
Speaker 1: And if you could break through that, then they bite you.
Yeah yeah, because you can't climb it because they the
little teeth, yeah, hungry, and the delligators are all around it.
Speaker 2: Those are like alligators. But now yeah, yeah, so, uh,
I mean tell me about you know, your time. We
will get into your military history later because we got
a lot to cover there. It's been a long career, yeah,
but in a great service. Again, I'm I'm literally saluting
you right now as you are left hand we do
left hand Hell, okay, sorry, thank you my horn. But uh,
you know, right now you're in the fourth ring.
Speaker 1: What's it like? Have you gone to the Lust Ring?
I can't remember which ring that is?
Speaker 2: Uh, the Lust Ring is? Oh boy, that's that's just
a good Tuesday night right there. This's you know, I
mean when people try to break into hell, that's that's
the hardest part.
Speaker 3: If they can get through that first rating, you know,
it isn't uh they you.
Speaker 2: Know, they try to break in and they just get
stuck on that second ring. They never come back. Yeah,
who wants to leave the lust Ring? They got those
neon lights. Yeah, it's just a good time. The constant
medium music blasting. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy constantly uh yeah.
But it's like to the point where, you know, the
refractory period is milliseconds and they're just they just have
to keep going.
Speaker 1: And there they're thirsty.
Speaker 2: Their lips are chapped from kissing and biting, and it's
just like dry. There's no lubricant, not not a hint
of moistures.
Speaker 1: It's too much of a good thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, everything there, but parking meters are buttholes. It's like
it's just the cont you're constantly in it.
Speaker 1: It's you're surrounded.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, nothing happens without insertion.
Speaker 2: It's almost like it's almost like Vegas, but even worse.
Speaker 1: Imagine that. Yeah, wow, well, I mean maybe I'll get
the chances to try and break into it.
Speaker 3: Not on my watch. No, you're not getting past that
fourth layer.
Speaker 1: That's right. Oh, saluting you so hard?
Speaker 3: You stay down here?
Speaker 1: What are your I mean because you caught me? How
do you typically patrol?
Speaker 2: We have a few patrols flying around. Our patrols are
mostly they consist of like eight like creatures with wings.
Speaker 1: They're flying monkeys.
Speaker 2: They're like flying monkeys, but we can't call them that
copyright reasons, right, right, So you know, they fly around.
They watch out for anything that seems out of the ordinary.
Someone with a bar code on their head is usually
a dead giveaway. We look for anybody who, you know,
like vegans wandering around. We know that they belong, just
not on that ring. They've just wandered off. So so
there's no crossover between boogie borders and vegans. There's a
massive crossover, really, But they kind of get subset into
their own division. So if they're vegans, they keep going down.
We just keep the boogie boarders that.
Speaker 1: He gotcha, so that us only eat meeting boogie boarders.
And then so that what ring. Yep, so they're in
like what like a four point five ring?
Speaker 2: I think they I think they hit six. Yeah, that's
a tough one. So they've actually like changed up the
rules of the rings. You know they they used to
be you know, all this old school stuff things I
can't even pronounce anymore.
Speaker 1: Like vergris. I don't know, right, who knows what that is?
Speaker 3: You know, glue tawny, what is that?
Speaker 1: Well that that would gluten allergy? Yeah, I guess I
don't know who knows?
Speaker 3: Those are?
Speaker 1: Layer three?
Speaker 2: Yeah, hersy, I don't know what that is. But anyways,
we changed up the rules so that the rings are
different than what you might imagine. You keep with the times.
We didn't want to stick with like an old constitution.
We flipped it up, you know, we we updated it,
kept it topical.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Uh, and you gotta change with the times. Hell's Hell's
got to keep modern, That's right, It's very important. In fact, uh,
I heard there was talks that they're gonna open up
the CROCS ring. In fact, oh yeah, the Crocs ring
is a great one. I mean that's the thing that
took a lot of people buy some when we brought
that past Hell Senate. Uh that you know, we said,
CROCS ring has got to be at least layer three. Yeah,
and uh, you know, we just threw Crocs up there
in the overworld. No one even questioned it. They just
showed up in stores and people started wearing them. They're
they're just Hell tickets. They're just you. But you put
them on, you're in Layer three. You're you're coming down
to Hell.
Speaker 1: That's you.
Speaker 2: You put those atrocious things on your feet. They smell
like shit after like five steps.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a it's a get straight to jail card, Yes, exactly.
Speaker 3: People just don't question up there where things come from.
Speaker 2: I mean, the person who was shooting Captain after me,
he's the guy who invented boneless wings.
Speaker 1: Yeah, insane.
Speaker 2: How quickly they literally ate them up, Yeah, no one,
and no one asked.
Speaker 1: Yep, fidget spinners.
Speaker 2: That was another one of our creations. Yeah, just everything
that you fucking hate. Those scooters that are like littered
across the street.
Speaker 1: That was us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the guy who made the he's got a mansion
over and Beverly Kills. Yeah, it's Beverly Hills.
Speaker 2: But in Hell, yeah, I yeah, he's well taken care of.
He's done a lot for us down here.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So you captured me and then immediately took me
to Clayton. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I saw your legs got taken off. Good standard practice,
that's right. Don't grow back eventually, you know, can't lose
the limb, just once in hell to keep it, keep
it moving. Yeah, but I mean, you know I brought
him back here at Captain Chaos.
Speaker 1: You know he's gonna fill you with the fear.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna want to run away.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm broat here.
Speaker 2: Listen, I'm no stranger too this people trying to escape
back up to that service.
Speaker 3: What do you think, Chris, let me ask you something.
Let me ask you something here.
Speaker 2: What do you think would be waiting for you when
you got out of hell, when you got up there?
Speaker 1: What's waiting for you? What's waiting for you, Chris? Heaven, Happiness, Heaven?
Speaker 2: They think you think they're gonna let you into Heaven.
Well good the way you do, seeing the things you've seen,
you're not getting up there.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's worth his shot. I don't know what
else to do. And you wouldn't have.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't even gotten close to the lust ring or
even pasted it, not in a chance.
Speaker 3: All right, you get stuck there.
Speaker 2: You start seeing vaginas on the walls, and you know
that's where you get stuck, all right.
Speaker 1: Literally stuck.
Speaker 2: Literally there's a sound with each footstep in that place.
All right, yeah, think about that. Imagine if you had
gotten there, all right, I stuck. I saved you, is
what I did, and then brought you back to him
to cut your legs off.
Speaker 3: I'm the one that.
Speaker 1: Saved you, Okay, Man, escaping Hell.
Speaker 2: People think it's all happiness and sunshine and rainbows. When
you get back to the Service, once you're down here
hanging out with Satan and Clayton and Captain Chaos Doug
Doug Chaos, Uh huh, you're not the same. You're not
welcome back there anymore. You get back there, all you
are you're evil, boneless wings.
Speaker 1: I just didn't think I did that much evil stuff
on Earth. I really don't understand why I'm here. I
feel like i'd let an okay life. Yeah, well, I.
Speaker 2: Mean I think you do have a couple of subscriptions
to those scooter services. And I'm pretty sure I saw
some some Instagram photos of you and.
Speaker 1: Crocsly I got crocks. I never wore crocs. I never
wore crocks. I might have been on some scooters. Yeah, yeah,
did you spin? Did you fidget? Spin? I owned one?
Speaker 2: But not o man, stacking up, stacking up, I didn't
even know. Now I know, I'm doing my civic duty.
Listen here, all right. I don't belong here. I don't
belong in Hell. We got cage fulls of people saying
the same thing up on ring one.
Speaker 3: All right, it is not worth trying to claim you're
not here.
Speaker 1: If you're here, you're here for a reason. Chris.
Speaker 2: The sooner you accept that, the sooner you stop trying
to chase this fever dream of getting out of Hell.
The sooner maybe you can start to appreciate Hell. Appreciate
the pain, because we love it. All right, Pain keeps
us sane. We have it on a banner.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: It was gonna be when you're here, your family. But
another fucking company stole that from us. Okay, we're not
exempt from copyrights, all right, Yeah, yeah they are.
Speaker 1: They scare even us, all right winged apes not flying monkeys.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Okay,
all right, I believe you, Captain Chaos. I want to
hear more about this military service while we got you on.
We got all sorts of listeners around Hell listening to
right now live some people up on the Earth realm. Yeah,
let's hear some some of your your your war stories
from the Hell wars.
Speaker 2: Well, uh, something you got to know about Hell. It's
in a constant state of war. War.
Speaker 3: We gotta love it.
Speaker 2: If you've ever met that that horseman, great guy, great guy,
that war horseman.
Speaker 1: He keeps it moving.
Speaker 2: And when I signed on, man, there was a good
one going on.
Speaker 3: There was a real civil war.
Speaker 1: With civil war and hell, we have them all the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: My brother actually like wants us to you know, he
loves the infighting, so he actually, you know, like causes
some fights sometimes.
Speaker 1: But what was the civil war that you joined in on?
Speaker 2: This? It was it was between gaming consoles here and Hell.
Oh yeah, uh, the Xbox is the is the Xbox
versus the Cintendo, wasn't it. Yes, yep, that was a
good one.
Speaker 1: That was a big one.
Speaker 2: You know, if you went with one side decapitation of
the other side and people just going nuts and walmarts
were lighting up.
Speaker 3: And yes we have those, yeah, we actually do have. Yeah,
we got those all over the place.
Speaker 1: That makes sense.
Speaker 2: Was one on every corner. But god, I love those
civil wars. You get in there, you just start wiping
people out. I mean, listen, hell, there's only one way
to deal with the civil war. Take them both down.
They'll sort it out later on. It's not like they
die forever. And hell they'll they'll come back and get
to their senses eventually.
Speaker 1: Oh he knows I killed him in episode one, so
he's he came back. It was quite the fright. It's
an experience. Yeah, yeah, that's great.
Speaker 2: Civil wars all the time, you know, over the most
strangest things too. We had the Jennifer Anderson versus Angelina
Jolie wars.
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, over who they preferred as dating Brad Pitt.
Speaker 2: That's right, Yeah, you had no real effect on actual
Brad Pitt. It's not like he would have made his
decision based off of who won or what.
Speaker 1: It just started in.
Speaker 2: A break room and then it went out from there
and then the whole hall of Hell was swallowed up
in Civil War.
Speaker 1: It was great. Wow, So who won? Well, Angelina obviously,
Oh yea, yeah, it makes it. I guess it was
kind of It was decided by Brad. He was the tiebreaker.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, he pops down every now and again.
Oh doesn't Yeah, it just sorts this out for us.
We actually have a area for him called the Brad Pitt.
Speaker 1: It's just a pit of Hell for Brad Pitt.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, we like, we didn't get creative with that,
and that was just that was just lost. It doesn't
always have to be a pun, you know. We point
that out every now and again. It's an argument that
we make. But yeah, you know, getting getting through the army,
getting through the ranks here in Hell, it's not easy.
You gotta put down a lot of people to get there.
It's not really about strategy. It's just kind of about
how hard you could pull the trigger.
Speaker 1: That's how do you use guns? Uh? We use guns?
Speaker 3: Dragons?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: Dragons, Yeah, there's what but they look like those Chinese ones,
like the long snakes with the lion feet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, yeah, creepy, fucking creepy ones. Yeah. So they're
not like the like the the the American dragons.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, they're very timid.
Speaker 1: My brother actually has a couple in his backyard. Yeah.
Speaker 2: The American dragons, yeah, yeah, they're they're like super whatever.
But no, these these Chinese dragons, they fuck you up.
Speaker 3: They yeah, they hide out in the weeds.
Speaker 1: And it's just how big are they? How big are
these dragons or I guess the weeds.
Speaker 2: They're as big as a ring four city bus, that's right,
which is roughly fourteen feet.
Speaker 1: Okay, we've also had the Uh so these are some
big weeds that they're hiding in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean's hell, our weeds are huge. We love
weeds down here. Yeah, not weed like cush. No, that's
a ticket. Yeah, that's a ticket down here.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's a ticket.
Speaker 2: All right, kids, they singing home, we'll get you. Put
that joint down. It's not worth it, it's not worth it.
I'm trying to think of some other of my favorite conflicts.
I really liked the Colone Wars. The Clone Wars were
a good one. Yeah, you know that the Colone Wars,
the Clone Wars. That's where we're just deciding what the
you know, the common cologne to be worn in Hell
was going.
Speaker 1: To be between.
Speaker 2: Uh ed Hades and whatever one of those Hemsworth guys
are doing. Yeah, yeah, that's one of those. Yeah, you know, yeah,
that war. That was a man, I'll never forget that.
Speaker 3: It was. It smelled like a fireworks displaying the Macy's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hush oh and that sounds intense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was that battle Axe prays everywhere. That was
a tough week for Helen.
Speaker 1: Yeah. We we had the Star Trek versus Star Wars wars.
That makes sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's common. That's happening on Earth right now. Still
going up there. We kind of excavated on the on
the over world. Every now and again, we we often
test a lot of uh, you know, our our products
you know that we make done here up on Earth.
You know, like like we said, the fidget Spinner and
the Crocs. We try to find what our you know,
target demon graphic is going to be the demon it's
like graphic.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So we test our products up on Earth, and
you know, in the process we get a bunch of
people to come down to us.
Speaker 1: So so win win.
Speaker 2: So, uh, Doug, can I call you Doug? You can
call me gug respectful? Yeah, only is good friends, captain.
So gug Uh you are a demon?
Speaker 1: Correct? Yes, Yeah, it's because you're you got for because
for audio for audio listeners, you're basically you don't really
have legs. They're very stumpy, but you're incredibly broad and muscular.
It's basically all like upper torso fucking shredded. Yeah, why
no legs? Why or why are your legs so stumpy?
These legs?
Speaker 3: Listen.
Speaker 2: I lost my legs back in the in the Great
Escape of seventy seven, So the Great Escape, Yeah, there was,
there was a I was with a group of people
trying to escape. That's how I know. That's how I
know how bad it can be when you try to escape.
I lost my legs, and you know what, we don't
all get them back.
Speaker 1: We don't.
Speaker 2: So these they cut these things off of a millipede
that wandered down here one.
Speaker 1: Day, So that's why they's so stumpy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the millipede wandered into a crock and next thing
you know, was in hell. Yeah, man, but you got
to stay in shape. I'm not great at at chasing
people down anymore. You know, I lost that one of
the reasons I've I've gone into security. Now I got
my winged apes.
Speaker 1: Do you train the winged apes personally or you don't
really train the winged apes? They have a whole school system.
It's great.
Speaker 2: You know, as soon as they're out of winged Epe
primary there pretty much they pretty much learned on the job.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense. So the primary eight schooling primate
primate schools. He's trying to do a pun. He's trying
to get with the trying trying to be like a
big boy.
Speaker 3: There's none of that, none of that.
Speaker 1: Good try. So people who are soldiers up on Earth, Yeah, right,
because we talked with Napoleon why a great guy. Yeah.
Do they get drafted into the war or or are
they more on the sidelines? Is this more between the
demons or the people who are sent to Hell?
Speaker 2: The wars are between pretty much everybody. Uh, it depends
on who the war is between. A lot of the
people that go to war are mma fighters. Oh yeah,
they end up down here quite a bit.
Speaker 1: You can tell because their ears are all fucked up.
They'll put cauliflower.
Speaker 2: That's it, and and there, and then that attracts the vegans,
the cauliflower ears.
Speaker 1: Right that, I mean, that's what started the cauliflower wars.
Speaker 2: Right, they'll call pizza crust ears probably cauliflower ears. Basically,
what I'm saying is no prior training up in the
over world will will make you okay to be a
soldier down here. You just got to learn as you go. Yeah,
that's the important part, you know. It's it's actually kind
of sad right now because there's been a long standing
piece you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, was honoring because like since I've been here, there
has been very little fighting. A lot of torture and death,
but no fighting. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a sad time right now. It's the only
thing that keeps us going, really torture and death. Hopefully
there could be another civil war.
Speaker 1: So all the civil wars, I mean, they are never
over anything significant. They're always over something insignificant. Who you are.
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, I mean I took the Oreo Wars
very seriously wars. Yeah, I'm team Cookie and he was
actually Captain Chaos's Team Cream.
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we we've we've since we sort out of
death under the bridge.
Speaker 1: So what was the consent? It's like, why not just
put them together and have an oreo.
Speaker 3: Don't bring that up again, fresh one.
Speaker 1: Has anyone ever tried to, like usurp the throne now
I think of it.
Speaker 2: No, I don't think anybody's ever challenged my brother for
the throne.
Speaker 1: Huh. There's not a lot of people going after Satan.
Speaker 2: It seems like fools our interurrect Yeah, yeah, that'd be
it'd be crazy.
Speaker 1: Who would want to whould want to take his spot?
That'd be weird. Yeah, what would that look like?
Speaker 2: I wonder what would we have to do to make
something like that happen theoretically? Just you know, Clayton, I
have to remind you choose your actions carefully. Under your
brother's rule is the closest we've come to World War Oh,
and people have been praying for that for decades. You
raise a good point. Counterpoint, Yeah, you want a new
pair of legs, right? I mean, I got some robot
legs in my closet, just de spares laying around if
you wanted them, you know, would not have to be
skirting around.
Speaker 1: On some miliped legs. Just saying just saying you.
Speaker 3: Know, and has made getting the paper harder.
Speaker 1: Is this legal? What happens to those who join up
to revolt against Satan?
Speaker 3: Legal? Legal?
Speaker 1: In Hell?
Speaker 3: I mean either you die or you don't.
Speaker 1: Huh.
Speaker 3: I mean that's that's how hell works, you know what.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's start a revolution right here, right now, live
on good morning from Hell.
Speaker 1: I'm challenging you, big brother, your day's come, get you
go and so so and this is live, so he.
Speaker 2: Knows, he knows I'm coming knocking on his door, and
it's coming Satan.
Speaker 1: It's so in theory. Right now, everyone in Hell could
be arming up to revolt against Satan.
Speaker 2: That's right, Brothers and sisters, Rise up, Rise up against
your oppressor.
Speaker 3: A new war on the horizon.
Speaker 2: War.
Speaker 1: Who wants war?
Speaker 3: I join you, Clayton, Chris Millipede.
Speaker 1: God, I don't want I don't want to be in this.
Speaker 2: Let me just I know you're my You're my second
in command. Get that man some legs. All right, Well,
we're gonna sign off. Don't forget you gotta subscribe to
our channel. Find us on Hotify, find us on Apple Podcasts,
find us on tune in.
Speaker 1: We're gonna go start a War. I guess, find out
what happens in the Great Satan Clayton War Hell Clayton