Speaker 1: This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me
Speaker 1: covering Dungeon Crawler Carl book seven, this Inevitable Ruin recap
Speaker 1: through chapter three. In these chapters we get a bunch
Speaker 1: of information. I am going to have to really sort
Speaker 1: through some of this in real time. I hope that
Speaker 1: you guys are prepared to lead me through it. But
Speaker 1: overall this I don't know that it changes everything, but
Speaker 1: it changes the way I look at some things. Welcome
Speaker 1: to spoil Me, Welcome to the show everyone. I am Natasha.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much to Michael for commissioning this episode.
Speaker 1: Michael is here in the chat just saying I made it,
Speaker 1: so I am delighted to have you, Michael. This is
Speaker 1: a wild start to the book. First of all, I
Speaker 1: just have to mention how I really enjoy the way
Speaker 1: that nat Denniman is handling a recap, because, like, it's
Speaker 1: not an easy thing, and I know that there are
Speaker 1: plenty of writers out there who do series where they
Speaker 1: are encouraged to make it so that a person can
Speaker 1: sort of jump in at any point in the series
Speaker 1: and read from whatever, which I think is frankly unhinged
Speaker 1: to think that an author is like going to be
Speaker 1: able to do that, but as far as best possible,
Speaker 1: like handling, I think Matt Deniman is doing really well
Speaker 1: by having there be somebody summarizing it for someone else.
Speaker 1: I sorry surfing, says Cough dressed and files cough dressed
Speaker 1: in is. It's like, it's just so weird to me
Speaker 1: that people will like jump in. I could never do
Speaker 1: it this way. I could never do it this way.
Speaker 1: I think the only time I've ever jumped into a
Speaker 1: series midway was because I didn't realize it was a series.
Speaker 1: And that's like it. But we start off with tempests
Speaker 1: floor eight recap School Report, and like it's not really
Speaker 1: a full series recap, it's just meant to be for
Speaker 1: the previous book. But nevertheless, you know, it's sort of
Speaker 1: it's serving this function, and I like also that it's
Speaker 1: separate from everything, because it was nothing that sort of
Speaker 1: would take me out of the moment, like getting to
Speaker 1: a point where you're in a character's POV and suddenly
Speaker 1: they're thinking about how and then last summer when so
Speaker 1: and so turned out to not be dead after all,
Speaker 1: it was a real shock and you're just like, oh boy, okay,
Speaker 1: I get it. But like this just is so unnatural,
Speaker 1: you know. So anyway, I think that this is a
Speaker 1: great way to do it, and I think that it's
Speaker 1: also especially want I really want to interview the audiobook narrator.
Speaker 1: I just want to know when he is told, Hey,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to do like an entire chapter practically
Speaker 1: as his like weirdo lawyer, is he like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is gonna be super fun or is he like okay, okay,
Speaker 1: like maybe a little bit of both. So then we
Speaker 1: go there, there's a moment where she like at the
Speaker 1: very end, is like, are you in danger because you're
Speaker 1: representing him? And he's like, uh, well yeah, but I'm
Speaker 1: not the only one. I think everybody's in danger. Actually
Speaker 1: we're kind of in the middle of nowhere. So that's
Speaker 1: the first time I've been glad of it, which I
Speaker 1: do have no real idea like what that means in
Speaker 1: this series, like in the middle of nowhere? What is that?
Speaker 1: How does that actually factor? But uh, I appreciated it
Speaker 1: kind of coming back down at the end from being
Speaker 1: just a comedic recapp to then a moment of but
Speaker 1: this is a real character. This is somebody who actually
Speaker 1: has a life and stakes and their own family, and
Speaker 1: it's just a good way to humanize him right at
Speaker 1: the end there, so to speak, He's not human, but
Speaker 1: you know, you get me. So then we go into
Speaker 1: the prologue, which we have gone back to Christmas Morning,
Speaker 1: and I just really want to mention that, like Donut
Speaker 1: was saying, they needed to open their presence from Santa,
Speaker 1: and I still kind of have my suspicions that maybe
Speaker 1: Santa was real, like a character that showed up. I
Speaker 1: when this is saying, when it starts with Christmas Morning,
Speaker 1: I really got my hopes of y'all. I really thought, oh,
Speaker 1: we're about to find out, and we do not. And
Speaker 1: I as much as like I wanted this reveal, of course,
Speaker 1: this isn't really what I was here for. This is
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So I had a little
Speaker 1: moment of just like darn it. But yeah, So we
Speaker 1: are back at the homeless shelter with this guy who
Speaker 1: has taken over the body of Paulie doing his monologuing again.
Speaker 1: And it's an interesting thing because I was partially right
Speaker 1: about there being something in that coffee, but it's not
Speaker 1: the coffee on a tray that's being circled around which
Speaker 1: I think when like in the original scene, that's what
Speaker 1: we are seeing happen, it's and it's also like that's
Speaker 1: not the only thing going on here. There's a frozen
Speaker 1: moment where Carl is getting all of this information packed
Speaker 1: into a second before he is transported to speak to Oran.
Speaker 1: So that's really fun because what it means is that
Speaker 1: he's just been given all of this info and then
Speaker 1: when he's in that interview with Orin, he knows that
Speaker 1: like he knows what he needs to know, and he
Speaker 1: also knows that the way that Oran is saying, oh,
Speaker 1: none of this was really pertinent or all of this
Speaker 1: was a trap, He's got all this info already, so
Speaker 1: he's just playing along in the moment, which I really
Speaker 1: wonder if I would be able to pull this off,
Speaker 1: because you know, managing to seem as if something is
Speaker 1: news to you, I feel you kind of need to
Speaker 1: like plan for that and get your face ready, and
Speaker 1: Carl is just managing to Like I think it's just
Speaker 1: that he is so angry all the time that the
Speaker 1: anger sort of supersedes all the other emotions on his face,
Speaker 1: and so that's all anybody sees, really, which I guess
Speaker 1: is like certainly a method. So this guy switches to
Speaker 1: syndicate standard and he says, if you can hear this,
Speaker 1: that means the current system AI is allowing us to
Speaker 1: have a real talk, which I was at the time
Speaker 1: sort of like, I'm surprised that AI is not yet
Speaker 1: at a point where it wants Carl to hear because
Speaker 1: you know, Orrin says, like, we made a deal with
Speaker 1: the AI that we would have to I think it
Speaker 1: was partially just like we would have to have this
Speaker 1: conversation with you about it or something like that. So
Speaker 1: I just the fact that the AI is kind of
Speaker 1: where I was thinking it is reassures me a little bit.
Speaker 1: So he says, I really need you to listen carefully,
Speaker 1: and this is fascinating people like you. They want meaning
Speaker 1: to their suffering and to know that what's happening to
Speaker 1: them is for some greater good. But there's not, and
Speaker 1: this crawl is unnecessary and they are doing all of
Speaker 1: this to make money, and there is no reason to
Speaker 1: do it other than pure greed. You and all living
Speaker 1: things born on one of the priests worlds has a
Speaker 1: miniature primal system built into your brains that allows you
Speaker 1: to interact with the system. It is the size of
Speaker 1: a grain of sand. Once these systems are activated, they
Speaker 1: are able to be harvested. The way it was designed
Speaker 1: is that you would be born, you would live, and
Speaker 1: you would eventually die. When you do pass on, the
Speaker 1: element within you, having grown and filled with the energy
Speaker 1: of a lifetime, would return to the system, allowing it
Speaker 1: to keep running. A healthy system is self sustaining. It
Speaker 1: doesn't grow, it doesn't shrink, it exists in perpetuity. And
Speaker 1: this is so like, it's a really fun idea because
Speaker 1: it's sort of being like, oh, we're all connected and
Speaker 1: there is a higher power, but just not in the
Speaker 1: way that anybody usually thinks of that as a spiritual thing.
Speaker 1: It's all very much just like a computer code. But
Speaker 1: it's obviously more than that, because it's something that even
Speaker 1: these beings don't grasp. So yeah, it's an interesting like
Speaker 1: the idea that it's only possible for it to be
Speaker 1: harvested once you have lived your life. And I also
Speaker 1: want to mention a healthy system is self sustaining. It
Speaker 1: doesn't grow, it doesn't shrink. This is the thing that's
Speaker 1: like fundamentally wrong with how capitalism works is there is
Speaker 1: an expectation of just growth in perpetuity, and it's asinine.
Speaker 1: It's insane. Actually, when you look at the way that
Speaker 1: people who allegedly are intelligent approach the economy, you'll look
Speaker 1: at things and be like, well, we all should have
Speaker 1: known that, you know what I'm saying. Like, there was
Speaker 1: this moment where everybody was buying laptops because of the pandemic,
Speaker 1: and they were all working from home, so yeah, we
Speaker 1: had a buy on laptops, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: people are like investing in these laptop and they're acting
Speaker 1: as if this is just going to go on forever.
Speaker 1: And then people stop buying laptops and it's surprised Pikachu
Speaker 1: face because yeah, well we all have one now and
Speaker 1: we don't need to update it for a while. And
Speaker 1: it's just really like this moment of wait, what do
Speaker 1: you mean? And this is part of the reason that
Speaker 1: so many like subscription services have to increase their pricing,
Speaker 1: because there's only so many customers and there's only so
Speaker 1: many people at a time that you are going to
Speaker 1: get to sign up, and they, for some reason just
Speaker 1: think that they can keep tapping this pool and it
Speaker 1: will endlessly produce more customers, and it's just you know
Speaker 1: that that is not how it works. But we all
Speaker 1: have to function in this like false reality that fucking
Speaker 1: like startups have created, acting as if there's just you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. It's it's really the whole thing
Speaker 1: with capitalism is let's share this delusion together and any
Speaker 1: fallout from it will worry about later. And no matter
Speaker 1: what it is or how soon it's supposed to happen,
Speaker 1: we'll worry about it later. Let's not worry about it now.
Speaker 1: Let's worry about it later every fucking time. So anyway, sorry, guys,
Speaker 1: I just like it just struck me. You know how
Speaker 1: that can happen The planetary system doesn't have an active AI.
Speaker 1: By the time you hear this, the mant had made
Speaker 1: Frankenstein of a system will have been installed, and everyone
Speaker 1: born on the planet will have their internal systems switched
Speaker 1: on and activated. When you die in the dungeon, they
Speaker 1: harvest these elements themselves, starving out the existing planetary AI
Speaker 1: that doesn't even know how to feed itself until we
Speaker 1: teach it. So this is the starve thing coming into play.
Speaker 1: When you die in the dungeon, they harvest these elements
Speaker 1: starving out the planetary AI. So basically, it's like the
Speaker 1: planetary AI that hadn't that had been there but was
Speaker 1: just functioning a different way. I guess, is suddenly robbed
Speaker 1: of its source of sustenance is the best way I
Speaker 1: want to say that food doesn't feel quite right. But
Speaker 1: despite him using the word feed itself, and even then
Speaker 1: it's bound by programming that precludes it from properly sustaining itself. Instead,
Speaker 1: the vultures descend and steal the elements from the crawl's aftermath,
Speaker 1: all of that death and it fits on a single ship.
Speaker 1: They take it all to the bloated, comatose Center System
Speaker 1: and feed it. It grows, it maintains, it allows the
Speaker 1: citizens to live on naturally long lives. Each time the
Speaker 1: Center System is fed the harvested elements from the Crawl,
Speaker 1: it expands, capturing new systems. Yet they don't even understand
Speaker 1: what it is or how it works. If they stopped Crawl,
Speaker 1: the zone would start to shrink, but it would be slow,
Speaker 1: very slow, and everyone currently within it would be fine.
Speaker 1: It would take generations to starve, after all it had
Speaker 1: been given, and if they wanted to simply sustain what
Speaker 1: they already have. It wouldn't take much. The crawl itself
Speaker 1: doesn't need to exist at all. The creation of what
Speaker 1: they call macro ai is made over and over is unnecessary.
Speaker 1: It only happens this way because the spectacle of the
Speaker 1: crawl generates so much money. So that's it's a lot,
Speaker 1: it's a lot of information, and it all just feels
Speaker 1: like very aligned with the way that the world actually
Speaker 1: works with like, oh, we're going to feed this to
Speaker 1: our system that already has more than it needs, more
Speaker 1: than it knows what to do with. Really, and even
Speaker 1: if we stopped, it would be like a hundred years
Speaker 1: before it even started to be a pro problem. This
Speaker 1: is always my question to folks who have the kinds
Speaker 1: of money that the uber rich now have in the
Speaker 1: year twenty twenty six, where the disparity between the rich
Speaker 1: and poor is higher than it's ever been, and it is,
Speaker 1: when are you done, Like I'm genuinely wanting an answer,
Speaker 1: When do you feel like, Okay, I have enough? When
Speaker 1: does that part happen? When do you feel you no
Speaker 1: longer need to exploit people because like, these folks literally
Speaker 1: have more money than they could possibly spend. I mean
Speaker 1: very literally more than they could possibly spend, and I
Speaker 1: cannot imagine. I just simply cannot not wanting to get
Speaker 1: other people a quality of life when I could do
Speaker 1: that by sacrificing not even five percent of my income,
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like, I just there is
Speaker 1: something wrong with them fundamentally. I do not believe that
Speaker 1: you can get past a certain income level and continue
Speaker 1: hoarding money without being broken in the head. Somehow, something's
Speaker 1: the matter with you. That's just my take. And yeah,
Speaker 1: same thing, same thing. So sorry, I'm seeing a bunch
Speaker 1: of comments now I just jumped back in. I'm scrolling
Speaker 1: back up a little bit. Saraphim says, given I think
Speaker 1: we've heard the lawyer species are seen as second or
Speaker 1: even third class people. He lives out on the sticks,
Speaker 1: so no one wants to be But that means he's
Speaker 1: so far away from important people it's not worth going
Speaker 1: out there to deal with him, right, Okay, Michael says,
Speaker 1: had to give Anatasha credit for catching the coffee thing
Speaker 1: last book, even though it wasn't quite the coffee she
Speaker 1: thought was important. Not. Yeah, I was like I was
Speaker 1: on the right track, but it was like just off.
Speaker 1: Jeff says. It's a bit like Earth being a giant
Speaker 1: computer designed to calculate the ultimate question, to solve the
Speaker 1: meaning of life, the universe and everything, Michael says, or
Speaker 1: the gaming company seeing how live service games were doing
Speaker 1: extremely well during the pandemic and assuming they should just
Speaker 1: try to pump out a bunch more. Fast forward a
Speaker 1: few years and Sony's Concord gets released and is shut
Speaker 1: down two weeks later. Fast forward another year and High
Speaker 1: Guard does the same, exactly like, there are trends that
Speaker 1: I feel this shouldn't be a mystery. This is a
Speaker 1: predictable change due to a massive lifestyle shift that was
Speaker 1: very temporary. And if this, if you decide to try
Speaker 1: and capitalize on this and it falls through, that's on
Speaker 1: you for being completely hair brained. Like, I don't know
Speaker 1: what else to tell you, Jeff says, has this been
Speaker 1: Has this process been going on for two hundred thousand years?
Speaker 1: That's a lot about how long modern humans have been around,
Speaker 1: Michael says, So it sounds like the central system in
Speaker 1: habits discovered ais that can power systems to turn their
Speaker 1: solar systems into lit RPG worlds where they can live
Speaker 1: lives like they're in games, benefiting from stats and skills.
Speaker 1: Seraphim says the system is mostly just hardware running on
Speaker 1: auto till they installed the AI. Michael says they've been
Speaker 1: grabbing more of them cycle after cycle to harvest the
Speaker 1: materials needed to power the central one to make it bigger,
Speaker 1: and Jeff says exploitation is a hell of a drug. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I feel like there's just there has to be. I
Speaker 1: want somebody to do like a psychological study of people
Speaker 1: who hoard wealth and just find out like, what the
Speaker 1: fuck happened? Where when did the switch flip for them?
Speaker 1: Because I can't help, but wonder is this something that
Speaker 1: could possibly happen to me if I were suddenly in
Speaker 1: a position to inherit a bunch of wealth, and I
Speaker 1: am coming from my present circumstances of like very low
Speaker 1: middle class. I don't even know if I quite reach
Speaker 1: middle class. Actually, would there be a point where I
Speaker 1: begin to hoard as well? Does the wealth do it
Speaker 1: to you? Or is it that you get wealthy because
Speaker 1: something's wrong with you? I kind of feel like it's
Speaker 1: that second one. But then there are people who inherit
Speaker 1: wealth and do they also hoard I don't know anyway
Speaker 1: getting back to this. So we're trying to stop this madness.
Speaker 1: That is why you are here now. By now you
Speaker 1: should be able to move. And he tells him to
Speaker 1: drink the coffee in front of him, and is basically
Speaker 1: like there's a system thing in there that's an upgrade
Speaker 1: that it's not tested, and we don't you know, it's
Speaker 1: very much a risk for Carl to drink this, but
Speaker 1: he decides to go for it because of course, what
Speaker 1: are you going to not do it? Like get out
Speaker 1: of here, and he tells Carl that this is an
Speaker 1: interface to pull the lever on the failsafe. Essentially you
Speaker 1: will die and you'll kill everyone else on the way out.
Speaker 1: And he says that like the whole thing that we
Speaker 1: are asking you to do is to sacrifice yourself. That
Speaker 1: you know it's not going to get better, and the
Speaker 1: only way to stop this is to wipe out everybody
Speaker 1: and all of this wealth that has concentrated in one place,
Speaker 1: which is part of what the argument was at the
Speaker 1: end of the last book that like the fact that
Speaker 1: we've allowed this to happen to begin with, and for
Speaker 1: everybody to be such invaluable targets is also really stupid
Speaker 1: of us, and he says, We've tried to use this upgrade,
Speaker 1: but we can't do it. It has to be one
Speaker 1: of you, guys. It will only work on this AI.
Speaker 1: The AI wants you to have this power. It wants
Speaker 1: you to trip it. It is in pain, it wants
Speaker 1: to die, it wants to go back home. And then
Speaker 1: it's interesting. He's like, here's the thing. This is my
Speaker 1: whole mission, and I've been trained to just get to
Speaker 1: the point where I'm communicating this to you and convince
Speaker 1: you to drink the thing. But I will be honest,
Speaker 1: I've started to have a little bit of a change
Speaker 1: of heart regarding all of this and feel that maybe
Speaker 1: you shouldn't. I don't know. I know that humanity can
Speaker 1: be fucking awful. I've seen some of the worst, but
Speaker 1: I've seen some really great shit too, and I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's got me sort of wondering if this is really
Speaker 1: the best way to do this. What we're saying for
Speaker 1: you to do will disrupt the crawl, but it's not
Speaker 1: gonna like bring it to an end. It's simply going
Speaker 1: to fuck things up for enough of for enough time
Speaker 1: and kill enough people that like everybody's going to have
Speaker 1: to regroup, but probably it's going to like eventually get
Speaker 1: back to doing the same thing and it won't ultimately change.
Speaker 1: And I don't know that like killing so many innocent
Speaker 1: people is worth it if it's not doing something permanent.
Speaker 1: And this is when he says, there's another faction of
Speaker 1: my kind who are much more extreme. This feels like
Speaker 1: something they would do, and that's the faction that Agatha
Speaker 1: is part of. If you make this decision, be sure
Speaker 1: it's your only option. This is more than just a
Speaker 1: fail safe. It's the end of everything. If there's time
Speaker 1: to do something else, don't be so quick. And then
Speaker 1: he enters the Desperado Club and that was when he
Speaker 1: starts talking to Orin. So that's the intro. We go
Speaker 1: to Porthos here and this is a flashback, and it's
Speaker 1: really it's this was so tough, you guys, because like,
Speaker 1: we don't know what exactly is going on with Porthos,
Speaker 1: but we do know that he's being put in this
Speaker 1: position where he is emotionally really triggered. He is not
Speaker 1: in a state where he can make a good decision
Speaker 1: because he is so distracted and worried and it's so
Speaker 1: incredibly predatory to have him making a deal right now
Speaker 1: when he is in this frame of mind. I just
Speaker 1: this is so awful, you know, I can't imagine like
Speaker 1: the fact that he is worried about this friend that
Speaker 1: he is, like, is she dead? She could have made it,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. And this guy that he's talking
Speaker 1: to has no sympathy for him at all is incredibly unnerving.
Speaker 1: And also the fact that Porthos won't even if he like,
Speaker 1: if he were to make a deal and get out here,
Speaker 1: he wouldn't get to find out what happened to her
Speaker 1: for a long time, which that is also particularly awful.
Speaker 1: That it's not like I just all I want. They're
Speaker 1: using him wanting to know against him even I really
Speaker 1: I hate this so much. And he's like he's covered
Speaker 1: in blood, he's trembling, and he can't use like a
Speaker 1: healing spell even though he's instinctively trying to like click
Speaker 1: on one mentally, which is something that I wondered if
Speaker 1: this would happen when you're in the game for so long,
Speaker 1: do you start to, like, when you're out of that environment,
Speaker 1: you're gonna keep functioning as if you can do these
Speaker 1: things for a while, I would expect, you know. And
Speaker 1: also this dude fucking brought snacks with him. So Porthos
Speaker 1: tries to be like, can I just go back out
Speaker 1: there to find out if she made it? Because I
Speaker 1: can't pull up my messages, and this guy is like, well,
Speaker 1: I mean you can, but the outreach guilds don't open
Speaker 1: again until the twelfth floor, and the deals might not
Speaker 1: be as good as they are right now. And it's
Speaker 1: like he's not being given any sorts of real options
Speaker 1: here other than wait till the twelfth floor, or I
Speaker 1: could tell you what's going on, because something tells me
Speaker 1: this guy could find out quite easily, you know. So
Speaker 1: let's see. The tenth had been a nightmare, a world
Speaker 1: where every physical, non natural object had sapiens, some could speak,
Speaker 1: all were psychotic. A world where if one object consumed another,
Speaker 1: it grew in power. By the end, there had been
Speaker 1: behemoths roaming the barren floor, all searching for one last morsel,
Speaker 1: all wanting to get bigger. This is a it's a
Speaker 1: Katamari capitalism combo. How interesting. Porthos's party had been twenty
Speaker 1: strong when they finished the ninth, half had taken deals
Speaker 1: at the beginning. They couldn't even find an outreach guild
Speaker 1: at the end, but that was okay. They thought one
Speaker 1: went straight to a guild upon the start of the
Speaker 1: eleventh the deals would be better. They just needed to
Speaker 1: survive long enough for the portals to open. As far
Speaker 1: as Porthos was aware, he was the only one of
Speaker 1: his group who'd survived Himu was dead, had been plucked
Speaker 1: right up as they climbed the back of the monster
Speaker 1: searching for the moving exit. Porthos had watched him get
Speaker 1: right in half. But Minerva, he had to know if
Speaker 1: she was okay. It was driving him mad. So this
Speaker 1: is the thing that's so like. It's part of what
Speaker 1: pulled at me so much in the first book, Guys
Speaker 1: the goblins saying like, we just wanted to get down
Speaker 1: to the next floor where our children would be safe,
Speaker 1: where we wouldn't have to fight anymore, And that's all.
Speaker 1: That's the story. Everybody gets fed is like, if you
Speaker 1: just reach this point, you'll be okay, you'll be safe.
Speaker 1: This won't happen to you anymore. And it's such a
Speaker 1: fucking lie. The way that we make people safe is
Speaker 1: we build that into our infrastructure and the way that
Speaker 1: we function as a country. But we are such weirdos
Speaker 1: about individualism, especially in the US, and how you shouldn't
Speaker 1: need anybody, which is just fucking hilarious to be honest
Speaker 1: and then make people feel inadequate for not being able
Speaker 1: to like all of you know what, you know what?
Speaker 1: All right, back to the story, So city attenant for
Speaker 1: the hunting grounds thirty seasons, and he is just like, no,
Speaker 1: fuck them. Next offer game guide one hundred seasons, but
Speaker 1: that could be shortened depending on the progress of your crawlers.
Speaker 1: I recommend you take this one unless you want to
Speaker 1: be a guard at the rogue Club. And he's thinking
Speaker 1: here about the dungeon Crawler cookbook, and he says still,
Speaker 1: this deal was his best chance. It had a high
Speaker 1: chance of survival despite the extra seasons. He would get
Speaker 1: out of here, build wealth, and one day return. That
Speaker 1: was it. That was the plan. And as far as
Speaker 1: I know, he's able to pull this off. Like we've
Speaker 1: seen that Porthos is still alive, right unless he got
Speaker 1: got in the interim, but I don't think so. So anyway,
Speaker 1: if he took this deal, he wouldn't know what had
Speaker 1: happened to her. For a very, very long time, but
Speaker 1: did it matter. The plan was for them all to
Speaker 1: take a deal. Even if he didn't know she'd survived,
Speaker 1: it was still possible he'd never see her again. They
Speaker 1: separated you for this part. You had to do it alone.
Speaker 1: They didn't warn you it would be like this and
Speaker 1: that again, like separating you out and keeping it so
Speaker 1: that you don't have anybody to consult. You can't necessarily
Speaker 1: be like, oh, we'll both pick a certain deal so
Speaker 1: that maybe we can like meet up again and actually
Speaker 1: have like an ongoing relationship with somebody not necessarily romantic,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And so he picks the
Speaker 1: game guide. You have a few moments to pick some
Speaker 1: pre collapse items to take with you, and you will
Speaker 1: be allowed to sift through your current inventory should you
Speaker 1: want to take anything in there as well. No weapons,
Speaker 1: of course, but any interesting trink or items of sentiment,
Speaker 1: a good will gesture as thanks for all your hard work.
Speaker 1: The way that this is framed as just like we're
Speaker 1: being so nice. Really took deal upon the start of
Speaker 1: the eleventh floor, worked as game guide survived his inventureship.
Speaker 1: Author of the second edition current status missing wanted by
Speaker 1: syndicate security. So then we go to chapter one, the ceasefire,
Speaker 1: and we get a map at the beginning of this
Speaker 1: with just starting positions, and then we have the start
Speaker 1: of the description of Faction Wars. I don't want to
Speaker 1: get too in the weeds on this because I you know,
Speaker 1: I have three chapters ahead of me that I need
Speaker 1: to cover and I only have thirty minutes, so I
Speaker 1: just got to hit some highlights, although I do know
Speaker 1: that Michael understands I may have to delay some things
Speaker 1: into the next episode, which you know, if I've got to,
Speaker 1: I will. But they get slammed into this hallway that
Speaker 1: is full of like mud, and you know, Loroccos has
Speaker 1: been underwater for a while. It's supposed to be that
Speaker 1: you get transported to this gorgeous city and then you
Speaker 1: watch it get like ripped apart and destroyed, but it's
Speaker 1: already destroyed when they arrive here, So, you know, small favors.
Speaker 1: I guess to not have to watch that, But also
Speaker 1: it would have been nice to just have a moment
Speaker 1: of break and they get separated from Imari and have
Speaker 1: to like message each other in order to find a
Speaker 1: safe room where they can all meet back up again.
Speaker 1: The buildings were made of stone blocks and their walls
Speaker 1: were chipped and pitted even before the flooding. The sense
Speaker 1: this is a poor area of town. I had a
Speaker 1: few chats waiting for me from before, from before I'd appeared,
Speaker 1: and one of them is from Florin. One is Quasar,
Speaker 1: and it's quite long. I'm negotiating with the Liaisons, which
Speaker 1: really means I'm negotiating with the AI. It's been a
Speaker 1: Class nine shit cyclone out here these last four days.
Speaker 1: Lots of legal movement, warships threatening blow things up, syndicate
Speaker 1: security intervening. Most is good from your point of view,
Speaker 1: but some of it is gonna itch like an infected
Speaker 1: ass tattoo. I'll leave the faction war stuff alone for
Speaker 1: your adjutant to explain. But remember that contract that the
Speaker 1: Sensation Entertainment for the Vengeance of the Daughter, even though
Speaker 1: the main character is dead, That guarantee of a third
Speaker 1: season is about to haunt the fuck out of us.
Speaker 1: Sensation Entertainment just got purchased by a subsidiary of the
Speaker 1: Dream and things are moving. They're demanding their third season.
Speaker 1: Just stay the fuck away from any elites. Nothing is
Speaker 1: official yet, saying it won't be coming back, which means
Speaker 1: whatever happens, it's going to be something stupid. Problem is,
Speaker 1: the new showrunners won't be caring about that anymore. They're
Speaker 1: going to try to use your contractual obligation to ask
Speaker 1: fuck you. I'm trying to stop it on my m
Speaker 1: but I don't think I'll be successful. Plus, the AI
Speaker 1: gives zero shits about what the courts say. If it
Speaker 1: thinks it's going to be funny, it's going to let
Speaker 1: it happen. Just keep your head down and listen to
Speaker 1: what Judge Victory tells you. She's a smart one. So
Speaker 1: I really really enjoy this. I didn't remember that they
Speaker 1: had done the like guaranteed three seasons thing. If I
Speaker 1: had remembered that, I think I probably would have seen
Speaker 1: coming that they would have used this against him somehow.
Speaker 1: I am very, very curious how this is going to
Speaker 1: work because it's one of my favorite things, and my
Speaker 1: favorite I mean, like in a car crash kind of
Speaker 1: way to see how a TV series especially does this,
Speaker 1: how they try and regroup after they kill off somebody
Speaker 1: or they make like a bad decision narratively and they
Speaker 1: have to regroup in the next season and you can
Speaker 1: just see the seams sometimes and it's really you know,
Speaker 1: like there have been occasional things where I'm like, oh, Okay,
Speaker 1: they killed off the villain in the last season because
Speaker 1: they wanted there to be a satisfying ending, but then
Speaker 1: they couldn't come up with a better villain, and so
Speaker 1: they either will like bring that villain back and have
Speaker 1: them unexpectedly not be dead and I don't think that's
Speaker 1: part of a plan always, or they will have a
Speaker 1: new villain who feels almost identical to the old villain
Speaker 1: somehow just sort of you know what I mean, like hmm,
Speaker 1: or they will kind of do like, oh well. The
Speaker 1: one that I think about this Jeff says, remember hero
Speaker 1: season two horrifying, and Michael says, Heroes did that? Jeff
Speaker 1: beat me to that's very funny. I don't think i've
Speaker 1: finished season two. I started it, but yeah, I one
Speaker 1: of the ones that I think of is Once upon
Speaker 1: a Time, because the first season is a really fun
Speaker 1: idea and a very complete story, and then they just
Speaker 1: clearly did not know where to go, and so they
Speaker 1: basically just do the first season over again, and it's excruciating. Eventually,
Speaker 1: I hear that they wound up coming up with some
Speaker 1: better stories later on. But I will be perfectly honest,
Speaker 1: I never watched the past season two because it was
Speaker 1: too it was not good. And same thing with like
Speaker 1: Desperate Housewives. You know, there's a when a show has
Speaker 1: a first season that is excellent and feels complete, it's
Speaker 1: always a twenty eighty chance if they're going to be
Speaker 1: able to pull off a second season, because they all
Speaker 1: often have this one great season just to get signed
Speaker 1: because they have to, you know, somebody has to agree
Speaker 1: to pick them up. But making a complete season that
Speaker 1: feels satisfying often inherently means there isn't somewhere to go
Speaker 1: from there, because that's the point, you know. Anyway, I
Speaker 1: think it's part of why shows that have like whole
Speaker 1: different storylines every season with a whole new like cast
Speaker 1: of characters, or they take the same actors but they
Speaker 1: change up the setting or whatever, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: like American Horror Story, White Lotus, even like True Detectives.
Speaker 1: I think that might be part of why that trend
Speaker 1: is there. But uh, anyway, I just am really really
Speaker 1: curious what they're gonna do with that, because it could
Speaker 1: be really amusing to see. So Carl is in pain
Speaker 1: by the way he has these fucking de buff that
Speaker 1: and I hadn't hadn't thought about the fact that him
Speaker 1: and Moni are going to get separated because she can
Speaker 1: heal him from this friggin slug thing and she they
Speaker 1: have to find their way to her. But he had
Speaker 1: thought he had would have more time before this stuff
Speaker 1: started to catch up to him. And the first one
Speaker 1: is soul poisoning. This condition has additional effects that will
Speaker 1: soon be revealed if you don't do something about it,
Speaker 1: and it's due to the friggin you know, Scavenger's daughter
Speaker 1: thing that he did not vent in time, So now
Speaker 1: he's trying to find somewhere to vent it immediately to
Speaker 1: keep it from like really doing a fucking number on him,
Speaker 1: and is looking around like, oh my god, because he
Speaker 1: can do so much damage that it can harm him
Speaker 1: or the people around him. Like the way this attack
Speaker 1: works can actually be a really bad thing, depending which
Speaker 1: is what happened to trigger a fucking a zombie demon
Speaker 1: event last time. And meanwhile, Dona is being given like
Speaker 1: thirty seconds to figure out what class she wants to be,
Speaker 1: and she also has to pick cards to keep, and
Speaker 1: Mordecai is talking her through them, and it's very funny
Speaker 1: because what she winds up choosing, it's like she did
Speaker 1: not understand exactly what this meant. First consecrated Enchantress, which
Speaker 1: comes with a sash, and I love the fact that
Speaker 1: the Ai is like giving her descriptors with a specific
Speaker 1: accessory highlighted as the thing. Yes, Ai, Yes, this is
Speaker 1: how to do it. This is how to do it.
Speaker 1: I love it so much. I'm not going to pick
Speaker 1: the Halloween officia now. My personality is too sparkly and
Speaker 1: optimistic for me to be a goth. It does come
Speaker 1: with black lipstick and a box cutter for some reason dark,
Speaker 1: and then it comes with a hat and something else
Speaker 1: what's a gilly suit? So yeah, we'll get there. This
Speaker 1: is when Carl goes and decides to unleash on this
Speaker 1: weird concierge shark, and they both get blown backward and
Speaker 1: he gets an achievement Sushi's Smoothie. You've received a sushi
Speaker 1: making kit. And he also gets told that he has
Speaker 1: to use his foot next time, which I'm wondering if
Speaker 1: he can use the Scavenger's daughter power out of his foot.
Speaker 1: Is that something that he can channel? Like can he?
Speaker 1: I don't know. And let's see, Ellie went from thunder
Speaker 1: Princess to hailstorm. Queen Ellie says, this is probably as
Speaker 1: far as I'm gonna get. I can add the final
Speaker 1: element if I ever make it to the twelfth floor.
Speaker 1: But I'm betting this whole shit show self destructs before
Speaker 1: we even get close, which is, you know, understandable that
Speaker 1: she would feel this way. I am still thinking about
Speaker 1: the way Samantha reacted to Ellie and like that there's
Speaker 1: some link there, but I can't make heads or tails
Speaker 1: of that not pun intended Samantha at the moment. And
Speaker 1: they also get a bunch of notifications as warlords about
Speaker 1: like where they are, how many people are in their
Speaker 1: army right now, how many people's like positions they need
Speaker 1: to fill still, and the number of different people who
Speaker 1: are like teaming up together in truces. Let's see, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to find the protection enhancements have been removed. While
Speaker 1: some protections exist during a ceasefire, those of you who
Speaker 1: were getting regenerated can now die, So don't trip and
Speaker 1: break your neck. At least wait until the ceasefire, and
Speaker 1: there's Team Retribution who has offered them a truce, which
Speaker 1: they think is the NPCs. And he starts to be like,
Speaker 1: before we accept the truth, and Donut immediately accepts it
Speaker 1: without asking or like talking it over with him, and
Speaker 1: he gets really mad, understandably because historically Donut has not
Speaker 1: been great about looking through her options. But this time,
Speaker 1: when he gets mad, she's like, relax, I've been reading
Speaker 1: the help section of the Warlord tab. I love this
Speaker 1: that She's just like, I've done my research, dude, you
Speaker 1: can calm down. When did you get the time? I
Speaker 1: don't use the restroom merely as much as you do. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I think you need to see a doctor. I think
Speaker 1: you might have out ibs uh and hear me out
Speaker 1: she's being given advice from somebody. There's also that which
Speaker 1: I wouldn't discount, And of course there's probably not a
Speaker 1: way for her to tell him that if she's in
Speaker 1: the same position he is, she can't share, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. I don't necessarily think it's true in
Speaker 1: the way of like the cookbook, but I could definitely
Speaker 1: see there being coded language between her and zev are
Speaker 1: people in the chat rooms, like, that's something that absolutely
Speaker 1: has to be happening. I forgot about this. Warlord Donut
Speaker 1: of the Princess Posse has named the Truth the Good Guys.
Speaker 1: Warlord Ferdinand of Team Retribution has renamed the Truth Ferdinand
Speaker 1: and his Bird, and it won't let her change it back.
Speaker 1: So let's see. Here comes Cascadia and Carl is like,
Speaker 1: she sounds really weird and determines that she's either drunk
Speaker 1: or stoned, which leads to and exceptional performance from the
Speaker 1: voice narrator. You guys, you guys, I am so sorry,
Speaker 1: but this is one of the best deliveries. Like, people
Speaker 1: who have to do have to play drunk will often
Speaker 1: overdo it and they will get sloppy in a way
Speaker 1: that's really not usual. It's sort of a stereotype in
Speaker 1: a cartoonish way of what people are like, but it's
Speaker 1: not like quite right. And this narrator is just fucking
Speaker 1: nailing it with her like kind of speeding up at
Speaker 1: certain times and other times pausing a little too long
Speaker 1: and then just like laughing and then going and it's
Speaker 1: top tier. So good. Ooh sorry, more chance. Michael says, Hey,
Speaker 1: gods can be sexy. I mean are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: Gods are like the sexy. Whenever dudes talk about like
Speaker 1: the it's always big titty goth girlfriend. That's you know.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's the sexy thing she's saying. It
Speaker 1: just doesn't go with her or vibe because she's too bubbly,
Speaker 1: which I kind of like the contrast between bubbly personality
Speaker 1: and goth aesthetic. I think that's classic and definitely could work.
Speaker 1: But I also get what she means, so this whole
Speaker 1: thing is her at first just being like, you guys
Speaker 1: know how that worked? This works? You fucked it all up.
Speaker 1: It should have been this way and it's not. And
Speaker 1: whose fault is that? I love anyway. There are ten
Speaker 1: teams total, nine attacking teams and one defending team, the NPCs,
Speaker 1: who have decided to call themselves Team Retribution. The basical
Speaker 1: is simple, capture the castle in the center. Normally, you
Speaker 1: crawlers don't really need to know much about this stuff.
Speaker 1: The floor is no different than the hunting grounds. Once
Speaker 1: this cease fire ends, you're teleported out of the city.
Speaker 1: If you haven't left already, you just need to survive,
Speaker 1: and there's just a bunch of I don't want to
Speaker 1: get too into just reading word for word what she
Speaker 1: says here, because I feel like it doesn't This will
Speaker 1: all come up as we play, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: so to speak, as we keep reading. Any team who
Speaker 1: controls the Throne Room will have access to the city
Speaker 1: defense system. If the Throne Room changes hands to an
Speaker 1: attacking team, there will be a half hour grace period.
Speaker 1: Attacking teams will be eliminated if the warlord or warlords
Speaker 1: are killed, or if the throne Room of their primary
Speaker 1: base is taken and held for a period of six hours.
Speaker 1: Soldiers of an eliminated team are traditionally given the option
Speaker 1: to join the new team or be slaughtered. There are
Speaker 1: nine hundred no sorry, there are two hundred ninety three
Speaker 1: stairwell chambers. They will not open until Faction Wars is
Speaker 1: one or there are thirty hours left, whichever happens first.
Speaker 1: And this is when we get the trade request from
Speaker 1: Team Retribution Baroness Victory Warlords. I suggest one of you
Speaker 1: proceed immediately to the Flag room to oversee the final
Speaker 1: stronghold preparations and deal with the influx of new recruits,
Speaker 1: while the other remains in Loroccos and attempts to enlist
Speaker 1: your fellow crawlers. Time is short. I cannot wait to
Speaker 1: work with Baroness Victory. I am so interested in her.
Speaker 1: I was kind of thinking that Princess for is it
Speaker 1: Princess Formidable? Is that her name? I was sort of
Speaker 1: expecting the Baroness to have a personality more like her,
Speaker 1: But now I'm thinking she's going to be even more uptight,
Speaker 1: which I'm always here for, like an uptight character, depending
Speaker 1: on how it's done. And Donut is like talking about
Speaker 1: how she has a celestial box and I just received
Speaker 1: a former child actor accessory kit in the safe room
Speaker 1: mailbox and I need to open it right away. Plus,
Speaker 1: you know, we need to deal with your hair and
Speaker 1: I'm missing eyebrows. And he's like, wait, what did you
Speaker 1: pick for a class? And he says, WHOA what the fuck? Donut? Great,
Speaker 1: isn't it. It's a long range sniper and assassin class.
Speaker 1: It doesn't come with many new spells, but the range
Speaker 1: on all my existing spells is quadrupled, and my dexterity
Speaker 1: is much higher. The odds of one of my spells
Speaker 1: inflicting an instakhill is higher too. I can go invisible
Speaker 1: at will and to top it off, I kept most
Speaker 1: of my spells from the last floor. But best of all,
Speaker 1: it comes with a hat and a ghoolie suit. I
Speaker 1: don't know what that means. And it says deathbed Hellcat
Speaker 1: is the name of the class. It's gilly suit, not ghoolie.
Speaker 1: And she's just like, I think it sounds like very
Speaker 1: menacing actually, and he's like, uh huh, yeah, definitely. I
Speaker 1: don't know how many of you guys looked up what
Speaker 1: a gilly suit looks like, but you know, I've seen
Speaker 1: them before. But there's a variety of sort of types
Speaker 1: depending on what foliage you are trying to blend in with.
Speaker 1: I understand completely why Donut hates this so much, but
Speaker 1: I think she is going to be so invaluable in
Speaker 1: this thing. I think this could be fucking great. I
Speaker 1: love it so much. So then uh, she says, it's
Speaker 1: like one of signettes to had two people fell through
Speaker 1: a paper shredder they gave me. I don't know why
Speaker 1: it's necessary. They already gave me the ability to turn invisible.
Speaker 1: And I understand what she means, but there are definitely
Speaker 1: abilities that can see through an invisibility spell. So I
Speaker 1: think that this is a nice cover for that. You know,
Speaker 1: it's a way that you could potentially still blend in
Speaker 1: even if they can see through the invisibility. If you've
Speaker 1: got this on, maybe it's you still fool them, which
Speaker 1: would be great. And let's see, I'm trying to find that.
Speaker 1: The suit added a skill called blend into background, which
Speaker 1: I hadn't had time to examine, and cone of silence
Speaker 1: combined with invisibility, it would be great. The floppy hat
Speaker 1: added a targeting skill which allowed her to zoom in
Speaker 1: and examine mobs from afar And basically all of this
Speaker 1: stuff combined means that she could kill somebody from like
Speaker 1: a mile away, which should be really bad ass. But
Speaker 1: Carl can't help but think, like, this is so scary
Speaker 1: because I know we're not the only ones getting bonkers
Speaker 1: gear like this right now, so yikes, you know, let's see. Uh.
Speaker 1: Mordecai comes in and he says that flack is a
Speaker 1: good anti airspell. Get it to level ten and it
Speaker 1: puts on quite the show, which I don't know what
Speaker 1: that means, but we'll see. Now, guys, there had been
Speaker 1: a moment where Mordecai speaks to them and he said
Speaker 1: a at the end of the sentence, and I was
Speaker 1: listening and I'm like, wait a minute, is he just
Speaker 1: like Canadian this war? Is that a thing? And immediately
Speaker 1: my brain went like, no, it's not a thing. And
Speaker 1: then I went, but why isn't it though that Tenneman
Speaker 1: would absolutely be the type to have being just a
Speaker 1: Canadian a thing, And that is exactly what we get.
Speaker 1: And I'm not mad about it. Just for the record,
Speaker 1: I think it's delight and he manages to like have
Speaker 1: this be not so over the top as to feel
Speaker 1: like distracting or cartoonish. It's just enough that you're like, yep,
Speaker 1: there it is. You know, it's not an easy thing
Speaker 1: to pull off. This one is something called a Canadian,
Speaker 1: part French, part maple syrup. He's weirdly obsessed with ice
Speaker 1: hockey and snowmobiles and semi erotic lumberjack fan fiction. Has
Speaker 1: a well worn Tim Horton's loyalty card in his velcrow wallet.
Speaker 1: He says a boot instead of about and gets really
Speaker 1: really upset when you pointed out claiming you're hearing things
Speaker 1: and that it's a harmful stereotype. It's not a stereotype,
Speaker 1: and that's exactly how it sounds. He has a relative
Speaker 1: who is trainfled to death by a moose. You get
Speaker 1: the idea perfect no notes, part French, part maple syrup
Speaker 1: is a classic. You know what. My mother is married
Speaker 1: to a man whose whole family is French Canadian, and
Speaker 1: I before I forget am screenshotting this description and I
Speaker 1: am sending this to her via text right now. There.
Speaker 1: She will love it. He's he got her into ice hockey,
Speaker 1: by the way, so that part is fair. And his
Speaker 1: family is very into crapes as well, so we could
Speaker 1: just like toss that on there. So let's see. There
Speaker 1: are three scenarios where the ceasefiretime is shortened. One is
Speaker 1: a unanimous vote, which isn't going to happen. Two is
Speaker 1: if one of the warlords voluntarily withdraws, which isn't going
Speaker 1: to happen because it's not possible. The third is also unlikely.
Speaker 1: It's if all teams are finished with their defenses, they're
Speaker 1: thrown is locked in place, and they mark themselves as ready,
Speaker 1: in which case it ends immediately. Oh, we have to
Speaker 1: heal Mango. And it's interesting because Mordecai says that heal
Speaker 1: severe injury potion requires thirty three fine healing potions to
Speaker 1: make and an autoclave. I don't know what an autoclave is,
Speaker 1: but evidently somehow she Maria managed to like sidestep the
Speaker 1: way to make this that Mordecai knows about and do
Speaker 1: it a different way. And I am so curious if,
Speaker 1: like you guys, was this thing with she Maria, Like,
Speaker 1: is this gonna have like a bunch of advantages to
Speaker 1: it even though it's awful. I don't know, like, is
Speaker 1: this is this something horrible that's being allowed because it's
Speaker 1: gonna help him in a weird way in the end,
Speaker 1: even though it's awful. Like, ah, I don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I just get so so suspicious of things
Speaker 1: being too good. And I had been wondering whether or
Speaker 1: not Carl would be able to call to mind exactly
Speaker 1: how she made these, and he isn't able to off hand,
Speaker 1: you know. He just says, like she only combined I
Speaker 1: think three, but I can't remember specifically. If I go
Speaker 1: into my inventory to look, maybe I can figure it out.
Speaker 1: And yeah, let's see, there's healed pet potion Carl put
Speaker 1: on the ground before the vinegar Goddess Lady got her
Speaker 1: head off and now it's super sparkly, and says, revitalize pet.
Speaker 1: This was purple and looked as if someone had dumped
Speaker 1: half a jar of glitter into it. And he says,
Speaker 1: I can figure out the recipe with my new table.
Speaker 1: So let me look at it and I'll have his
Speaker 1: wing back in a boot an hour or so. I
Speaker 1: have to imagine that Mattenman put about in practically every
Speaker 1: paragraph of text that Mordecai says, right, you can't just
Speaker 1: not do that. You got to. It has to be
Speaker 1: the thing. So ooh sorry, Monica says, my son just
Speaker 1: finished an online class with a French Canadian teacher, and
Speaker 1: she does say a in a boot once in a while.
Speaker 1: Jeff says, it mixes chemical solutions very fast. Ah okay.
Speaker 1: Michael says, it was interesting to me how Karl referred
Speaker 1: to the actions that happened with she Maria as the
Speaker 1: stuff that he did. It had to feel to him
Speaker 1: like he was doing the things even though intellectually he
Speaker 1: knew he held no he had no control. Super traumatizing
Speaker 1: given what happened, absolutely and like, not only from his
Speaker 1: point of view, but I would imagine that you can't
Speaker 1: help but excuse me, guys, I would imagine that you
Speaker 1: can't help, but think of it as like everybody else
Speaker 1: saw me do it, so to them, I did it,
Speaker 1: even if I know that I couldn't control myself at
Speaker 1: the time. It's just the easiest way to think about it,
Speaker 1: I think, you know, easy in a certain sense, not
Speaker 1: all so anyway. Mordecai then uh looks at this other
Speaker 1: manner refill potion and it's called Manna blessing, and he's
Speaker 1: just like, holy shit, this is incredible. I'll be right back.
Speaker 1: And there comes a point later where she's like, I
Speaker 1: think he likes the potions more than us, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I think you're probably like kind of close
Speaker 1: to right. I think that he is getting a lot
Speaker 1: of knowledge and stuff for the first time in a while.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing that like, up until this point it's been
Speaker 1: very much business as usual with whatever knowledge he has
Speaker 1: managed to gather, and that he is suddenly happening upon
Speaker 1: a bunch of combinations and possibilities that he hasn't seen
Speaker 1: after doing this for so long, and it must be
Speaker 1: really exciting to fight only have something new, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So he gets achievements. Lord of the
Speaker 1: flies a gold I have the conch box. Demons hate
Speaker 1: this one trick, unlimited supply of pea soup chicken shit exploit.
Speaker 1: You have received a platinum surrenderl gore box that that
Speaker 1: uh huh very interested, and then an achievement for getting
Speaker 1: celestial loot. You received a lute punch card used pet
Speaker 1: and this we still have not dealt with by the
Speaker 1: time these chapters end. But we are going to have
Speaker 1: to deal with our tummy acre friend, and I am
Speaker 1: extremely interested. There's a whole thing with used Pet about
Speaker 1: people who like rescue dogs and then just leave them
Speaker 1: in a crate all day. And look, guys, I recognize
Speaker 1: that we all have to do what we have to
Speaker 1: do in terms of like the way our lives are
Speaker 1: set up, and that dogs really can often just kind
Speaker 1: of sleep in one place for fifteen fucking hours in
Speaker 1: a day. But I just it's never sat right with
Speaker 1: me creating a dog while you're like at work. I
Speaker 1: just hate the idea. And I had so many people
Speaker 1: encouraging me to create train Pippin, and I took it
Speaker 1: very seriously initially, and that dog would not go in
Speaker 1: that creak from when he was a tiny puppy. I
Speaker 1: put the most high value treats in there. I did
Speaker 1: everything to like make it cozy and smell good and
Speaker 1: feel safe, and it just he absolutely would not fucking
Speaker 1: do it. And so it wound up that I just
Speaker 1: wasn't going to, you know, And since then I have
Speaker 1: come to the conclusion like, yeah, I just I just
Speaker 1: don't want to do that. I don't like it. And
Speaker 1: I see animals in my neighborhood that are like, they're
Speaker 1: young dogs, they're never indoors, and I don't understand what's
Speaker 1: the point of like having a pet that you don't
Speaker 1: want in your house with you, Like it's it's I
Speaker 1: just don't understand. Anyway, the AI goes on a bit
Speaker 1: of a rant here, which I definitely sympathize with right
Speaker 1: up until the especially when said pets are fucking delicious
Speaker 1: or really squishable, and I was like, ah, and there
Speaker 1: you are, there you are, AI. But yeah, it's obvious
Speaker 1: that the AI is speaking from a certain perspective here.
Speaker 1: And let's see, Uh, I'm trying to go through all
Speaker 1: of these and not like read every single thing. Oh right,
Speaker 1: crab chowder, you jerked off a crab, all food items
Speaker 1: in your food boxes now have the option to be
Speaker 1: served chowder style, which is so odd because it's like,
Speaker 1: it's not even that this is for everybody else to
Speaker 1: humiliate Carl. Nobody else sees this just Carl. I'm assuming.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm wrong about that, but it's just the AI
Speaker 1: fucking like messing with him for the fun which I
Speaker 1: can't help but kind of enjoy and new achievement unbirthing.
Speaker 1: And this one is very sexual and I do not
Speaker 1: want to talk about it. But he does get a
Speaker 1: legendary spicy box, which we shall see because he doesn't
Speaker 1: open these while we are in this chapter. He also
Speaker 1: gets an update from Embras, who is like, yeah, so
Speaker 1: I've decided that I'm going to go ahead and make
Speaker 1: this deal with Amion. We have a truce. I do
Speaker 1: not wish to break it, but I will do what
Speaker 1: is necessary to learn the truth. There is a way
Speaker 1: for me to do this without causing a war. Proceed
Speaker 1: to the temple of Istak in a club. Vanquisher, you
Speaker 1: need to the soul Crystal Epito, you are doing well.
Speaker 1: Do not disappoint me now. And it said at least
Speaker 1: he didn't task me with killing the three brothers myself,
Speaker 1: and I was just like Carl, it's early days, baby.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to tell you this. But just
Speaker 1: because he hasn't done it doesn't mean he's not gonna
Speaker 1: do it, like come on right, like it just it's coming.
Speaker 1: It's coming. So chapter three, uh, Mordecai comes back out
Speaker 1: while she's opening the Platinum boxes, a standard shield spell.
Speaker 1: The next box was the same Platinum Surrender Gore box
Speaker 1: I had shaped like a jeweled sitting life sized German shepherd,
Speaker 1: a war protection spell called Sentry and let's see. The
Speaker 1: legendary box was from the Hell Comes to Crawler Town
Speaker 1: Quest and it's a book that's got purple smoke coming
Speaker 1: off it. And Mordecai I kind of is a little spooked,
Speaker 1: and he says it's similar to Donuts Second Chance, but
Speaker 1: a lot more insidious. It's called You're Not Done Yet.
Speaker 1: And Carl says, I'd heard that spell name before, but
Speaker 1: I couldn't remember where. And I can't either, and I
Speaker 1: don't remind me. Guys, don't remind if you remembered when
Speaker 1: you were reading. I will want to hear about that later,
Speaker 1: but I can't remember it. All I remember is like
Speaker 1: basically somebody being almost undead and being forced to keep
Speaker 1: fighting or something in a certain moment. But yeah, it's uh.
Speaker 1: This indicates to me that like the cockroach skill isn't
Speaker 1: going to be enough, which is extremely upsetting. And then
Speaker 1: we get this friggin' benefactor box. This is wild. So
Speaker 1: it has this amazing presentation and then there's this incredible
Speaker 1: tiara on this pillow, and it turns out that the
Speaker 1: pillow is part of it, because I thought it was
Speaker 1: just this great presentation, But the pillow is the charging
Speaker 1: device for the tiara, and basically what it does is
Speaker 1: it takes the abilities from other hats and puts them
Speaker 1: into the tiara. And for each hat that you do
Speaker 1: this to one of the absorption crystals on the tir,
Speaker 1: there ninety nine of them will be used up. So
Speaker 1: you have to be careful with the kinds of abilities
Speaker 1: you use. But this will make the tiara an item
Speaker 1: that will be likely one of the most valuable powerful
Speaker 1: things in the entire dungeon. Like ever, this is bonkers.
Speaker 1: This is next level, and the fact that it's a tiara,
Speaker 1: I am absolutely here for all of this. It's described
Speaker 1: as like parlessent and red I think it's I think
Speaker 1: it's red, right, I'm trying to find the spot here
Speaker 1: where a red fluffy pillow with a glittering, shiny opal
Speaker 1: lessent Tiara, Okay, so it's red. Is the cushion I'm
Speaker 1: trying to see? Is my hold on you? Guys? I
Speaker 1: think that, uh, this probably counts as opal lessent, right,
Speaker 1: It's not that kind of that thing going on there.
Speaker 1: So this is my new I'm with the Princess Posse
Speaker 1: fan where this is me at crawl Con. This is
Speaker 1: what I would wear. So I'm very happy for you, Donut.
Speaker 1: This is ideal. It's got a nice sort of neutral look,
Speaker 1: so it can go with any outfit. Incredibly useful, and
Speaker 1: I am just absolutely so happy for her. I'm very
Speaker 1: here for all of this. And then there's a second
Speaker 1: cushion which allows them to transfer from two hats at
Speaker 1: a time, which like this shit was already bananas, and
Speaker 1: to be able to do two at a time, And
Speaker 1: there's even the mention of like they're magnetized so that
Speaker 1: the cleaning bot can't just knock the hat off and
Speaker 1: make it so that they don't because if it gets removed,
Speaker 1: the hat is still deep powered but it doesn't get
Speaker 1: transferred to the tiara, so you really have to like
Speaker 1: commit and it takes a while. I think it says
Speaker 1: something like fifteen hours or something like that, trying to
Speaker 1: the specific explanation here, let's see ten hours. That's it.
Speaker 1: These properties will be stored in the pillow until the
Speaker 1: tiara is placed upon the charger, upon which time all
Speaker 1: of the buffs and magical enhancements will be instantly transferred
Speaker 1: to the tiara. If a hat item contains five separate buffs,
Speaker 1: it will use up five of the ninety nine jewels.
Speaker 1: With some careful planning, one can turn this tiara into
Speaker 1: one of the most powerful items in the history of
Speaker 1: dungeon crawler world. Okay, here come the warnings. Temporary effects
Speaker 1: will remain temporary and upon expiration, will burn out the
Speaker 1: absorption jewel, which is really important. Items with curse effects
Speaker 1: may or may not transfer to the tiara, depending on
Speaker 1: multiple factors, so be wary as such. Curse effects may
Speaker 1: or may not be removed from items that have been
Speaker 1: drained of their magical properties. Certain celestial god blessed hat
Speaker 1: items may or may not be properly drained or transferred.
Speaker 1: Items carrying a debt cannot be absorbed into the pillow.
Speaker 1: This is a big one. Hat items placed on the
Speaker 1: pillow take ten hours to fully transfer. However, if you
Speaker 1: remove the item after one hour, it will still lose
Speaker 1: its magical abilities. So yeah, Dona, of course, it's just like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this is not only amazing because now
Speaker 1: I can get the abilities from all these hats I've collected,
Speaker 1: but also I still get to keep the hat. It
Speaker 1: doesn't destroy the hat, so I still get to keep
Speaker 1: my hat collection, which is honestly a great bonus. And
Speaker 1: I agree fully. And then a goal of Platinum Benefactor
Speaker 1: box from the Apothecary, which brings another charging pillow. This
Speaker 1: will drain any magical item, but it will only transfer
Speaker 1: to a like item. If you drain a ring, the
Speaker 1: store buff will only be transferred to an absorption crystal
Speaker 1: fixed to a ring. If you attempt to transfer to
Speaker 1: an incompatible item, the buff will be lost, which is huge.
Speaker 1: And I don't think that this is restricted to just
Speaker 1: her use. I think that Carl could probably use these
Speaker 1: items as well. Well. The Tiara one no, but this one, yes,
Speaker 1: I would think. So. At this point, we have Mango
Speaker 1: actually noticing that his wing is injured, and Doughnut being like, okay,
Speaker 1: can we use that potion now because he's starting to
Speaker 1: freak out. Uncle Carl is going to give you your medicine.
Speaker 1: You'll have to drink every drop. Be gentle, Carl. I
Speaker 1: picked up the sparkling potion, walked over to Mongo, and
Speaker 1: I smashed the vial on his butt at the base
Speaker 1: of his tail. And I really appreciated this. I am
Speaker 1: so precious about things that like, honestly, it really is
Speaker 1: best to do it this way. When I worked on
Speaker 1: that goat farm, I had to occasionally inject the goats
Speaker 1: with an antibiotic, and I never stuck them hard enough
Speaker 1: the first try, because goats have very thick skin, so
Speaker 1: they just sort of hop like they'd been bitten by
Speaker 1: a fly. And then I'd have to do it again.
Speaker 1: And the guy teaching me was like, you have got
Speaker 1: to just fucking clench your teeth and do it, dude,
Speaker 1: because you're just making it worse for everybody. And I
Speaker 1: was like, I know. So let's see. When we'd first
Speaker 1: watched Kwan where his magical celestial tiered cloak, we'd seen
Speaker 1: he'd had several new abilities right away, and we automatically
Speaker 1: assumed the powers were simply what the cloak gave him,
Speaker 1: and we get a description here about how this cloak
Speaker 1: is meant to show you who's the weakest in a group,
Speaker 1: so that you know who to heal, that this is
Speaker 1: meant to make you like somebody who helps people, and
Speaker 1: that Kwan used it to do evil basically, and Donut
Speaker 1: has a really insightful moment of like, do you think
Speaker 1: that this AI is making Quan sound worse by using
Speaker 1: the description like framing it all this way, which, in
Speaker 1: the end, Carl is like, you know, it really doesn't
Speaker 1: matter the way the AI frames it. It might be
Speaker 1: trying to make him look worse, but we know what
Speaker 1: Quan did and how many player killer skulls he had,
Speaker 1: and like that is just objectively, he became a terrible person,
Speaker 1: so regardless of the AI trying to spin shit, the
Speaker 1: facts are the facts, which yeah, fair, But I do
Speaker 1: like the fact that Doughnut clocks the AI trying to
Speaker 1: make him sound even worse than he is. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna stop here because I'm fifteen minutes over, so I
Speaker 1: really do and I will finish the rest of this
Speaker 1: section with the next one, and yeah, I'm just I
Speaker 1: want to spend a little bit more time talking about
Speaker 1: some of the line things in this section. And also
Speaker 1: I'm really excited to see what Carl got in his
Speaker 1: boxes because those aren't in this chapter. So all right, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you again so much for hanging out. Appreciate you,
Speaker 1: and until next time to THELU motherfuckers. That was an
Speaker 1: Unspoiled Network podcast.