WEBVTT 1 00:00:06.120 --> 00:00:08.519 Who what's up, beautiful people? What is your baby mama 2 00:00:08.599 --> 00:00:11.720 favorite baby mama story? Peat and this is another episode 3 00:00:11.759 --> 00:00:15.480 of Chocolate Chip and Zip the modern day female perspective. 4 00:00:15.599 --> 00:00:19.800 Damn Son back at it again. Boom. Okay, guys, you 5 00:00:19.879 --> 00:00:22.239 know seven you did not I have to let out 6 00:00:22.239 --> 00:00:27.440 that big ass growl. Okay, but I come to you 7 00:00:27.480 --> 00:00:32.560 this week, guys, honest, open, and hopefully you will be understanding. 8 00:00:32.640 --> 00:00:34.439 All right. I have something to share with you, guys. 9 00:00:35.119 --> 00:00:36.799 And I really went back and forth about it if 10 00:00:36.799 --> 00:00:38.560 I was going to tell this story or not. And 11 00:00:38.600 --> 00:00:40.759 I know Shot is probably going to kill me. But 12 00:00:43.759 --> 00:00:46.640 I just got out of a six year relationship. I know. 13 00:00:47.439 --> 00:01:00.200 I know Shot is back. Dear Shot, can you even 14 00:01:00.200 --> 00:01:04.359 not on a mic diy here? Yeah, I just gotta 15 00:01:04.400 --> 00:01:09.680 have a six year relationship with my waxing technician. Yeah, 16 00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:12.439 with my waxing technician. I was so busy last than 17 00:01:12.519 --> 00:01:13.879 that Shot, I forgot to tell you how to joke. 18 00:01:13.959 --> 00:01:18.680 But with my waxing technician. So I've been going to 19 00:01:18.719 --> 00:01:21.959 the same person for six years to y'all, six years 20 00:01:22.480 --> 00:01:26.560 and my waxing technician moved to Florida, So like I 21 00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:33.519 kind of feel like I'm entering the whole. Like I 22 00:01:33.519 --> 00:01:35.159 don't want to say dating space because it's not a 23 00:01:35.239 --> 00:01:37.519 dating space, but essentially you gotta date to find a 24 00:01:37.519 --> 00:01:41.439 new waxing technician, because it's like, oh my god, right now, 25 00:01:41.480 --> 00:01:43.280 I gotta like open up and show somebody else my 26 00:01:43.319 --> 00:01:50.560 COOTI cait what this is crazy? I am not ready 27 00:01:50.680 --> 00:01:53.519 to open up and show somebody else my cootie cat like. 28 00:01:54.040 --> 00:01:56.519 And then it's like a vibe like I gotta find 29 00:01:56.519 --> 00:01:58.280 somebody who cut it the way I like, or who 30 00:01:58.319 --> 00:02:00.879 wax it the way I like. It's it's a thing 31 00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:05.560 for distance far distance relationship. No, I can't go to 32 00:02:05.680 --> 00:02:08.319 a waxing testation. Who lives in Florida? I cannot. I 33 00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:11.240 live in Philly. I'm all for making it work. I'm 34 00:02:11.240 --> 00:02:14.080 all for long distance relationships, but I can't make that 35 00:02:14.120 --> 00:02:17.240 won't work, okay, And it's really like, you know, starting 36 00:02:17.280 --> 00:02:19.639 to hold on for becuz it's like I gotta find 37 00:02:19.639 --> 00:02:22.039 somebody who wax it the way I like. Then I 38 00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:26.319 gotta make sure like the conversation is good, Like it's 39 00:02:26.400 --> 00:02:27.280 really scary. 40 00:02:27.560 --> 00:02:30.520 You gotta give them a minute because they might not. 41 00:02:31.319 --> 00:02:33.360 Exactly day. That's another thing. I'm not gonna hold you 42 00:02:33.719 --> 00:02:36.599 everybody can't wax dis grayed hair because I have like 43 00:02:36.599 --> 00:02:39.759 a very fine texture. So it's like you can't always 44 00:02:39.759 --> 00:02:41.879 pull the hard wax off. Sometimes you need to pull 45 00:02:41.919 --> 00:02:44.319 out the soft wax. Like it is the female equivalent 46 00:02:44.360 --> 00:02:47.199 of trying to find a new barber. Like it's hard 47 00:02:47.240 --> 00:02:49.240 out here for us. I don't know how y'all do it. 48 00:02:49.639 --> 00:02:52.280 I can't how do y'all just trust people willy nilly? 49 00:02:52.560 --> 00:02:54.759 And then it's like, we don't, that's why we're not 50 00:02:54.759 --> 00:03:00.400 getting married. And then it's like, well, where do you 51 00:03:00.479 --> 00:03:03.199 find like a new wax and technician? Like do you 52 00:03:03.240 --> 00:03:07.680 go by word of mouth? Do you go by Like why. 53 00:03:07.520 --> 00:03:11.680 Don't you ask him? Who? Oh? 54 00:03:11.680 --> 00:03:13.960 He did? He did recommend somebody. He did recommend somebody. 55 00:03:14.280 --> 00:03:17.520 But of course the timing didn't line up the way 56 00:03:17.520 --> 00:03:20.879 I wanted it to, So long story short, I finally 57 00:03:20.919 --> 00:03:24.240 went out and tried someone else. Okay, I'm not gonna lie. 58 00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:25.479 It looked like I had you back in the head 59 00:03:25.520 --> 00:03:26.680 like for a really long time, y'all, I was really 60 00:03:26.680 --> 00:03:28.199 shying weed out try. I forgot what I was gonna do. 61 00:03:28.240 --> 00:03:33.639 But I went out and just try somebody, y'all. I'm 62 00:03:33.639 --> 00:03:35.120 not gonna hold you. If I wasn't gonna be in 63 00:03:35.159 --> 00:03:37.080 none before, I might be a none down because I 64 00:03:37.199 --> 00:03:40.800 just I can't I can't get comfortable with anybody else 65 00:03:40.879 --> 00:03:43.879 to show. And then it's like, I don't know if 66 00:03:43.919 --> 00:03:47.159 y'all know this, but every person doesn't wax the same. 67 00:03:47.639 --> 00:03:50.400 Like some people will tell you needs chess. Some people 68 00:03:50.439 --> 00:03:52.840 will start you with butterfly. Some people don't go all 69 00:03:52.840 --> 00:03:55.199 the way up and get the tail. Yet you know, no, 70 00:03:55.319 --> 00:03:57.680 you don't know. It's okay, don't worry about it. But 71 00:03:57.719 --> 00:04:01.439 long story short, I'm gone through something. Okay, I'm going 72 00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:03.240 through something, And if y'all see me a little bit 73 00:04:03.280 --> 00:04:07.240 on edge, it's because I'm handling it locked emotionally, okay. 74 00:04:07.639 --> 00:04:09.960 And yeah, if y'all got any tips or any suggestions, 75 00:04:10.080 --> 00:04:13.120 let me know. And then another thing is like, now 76 00:04:13.159 --> 00:04:18.199 that I am a little bit more popular, I really 77 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:23.839 don't want everybody seeing my coode kit. I am struggling. 78 00:04:25.000 --> 00:04:25.879 And yeah, that's it. 79 00:04:25.959 --> 00:04:28.839 Every single day and every single time I give the 80 00:04:28.920 --> 00:04:31.360 nigga pep start about how she has starved, but they 81 00:04:31.399 --> 00:04:37.439 when it come to her cowter cat, that's crazy. 82 00:04:37.480 --> 00:04:42.759 You just don't know, okay. All right, So there's that 83 00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:47.240 all out aside, Let's get into some topic. Shaw also 84 00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:49.120 shout out the shot because I know his are still 85 00:04:49.160 --> 00:04:58.120 beating fans for ah yeah, man, Like I said, all 86 00:04:58.120 --> 00:05:01.639 of us side, let's get some topics. Okay, So, ladies 87 00:05:01.639 --> 00:05:04.720 and gentlemen, it is my favorite time of year. It's 88 00:05:04.759 --> 00:05:11.160 getting chilli outside, and you know what that means. Tis 89 00:05:11.199 --> 00:05:13.240 the season not to give them another chance. I'm not 90 00:05:13.279 --> 00:05:15.120 playing with y'all. No, no, no, no, no, no no oh. 91 00:05:15.160 --> 00:05:17.519 Y'all thought I was talking about fall. No, I'm talking 92 00:05:17.519 --> 00:05:22.040 about cuffing season. Boolove season. I'm talking about rap on, 93 00:05:22.120 --> 00:05:25.040 do the cover, snuggled up and watching movies. Don't do 94 00:05:25.120 --> 00:05:27.279 it with that person. Don't do what. You know who 95 00:05:27.319 --> 00:05:28.800 I'm talking about. And I'm not really trying to go 96 00:05:28.839 --> 00:05:31.000 back and forth with you because you know who I'm 97 00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:34.600 talking about. Remember that girl, You know that girl, Remember 98 00:05:34.600 --> 00:05:37.399 that girl who, like you, had so much fun with 99 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:40.360 and she loved every time you came to help her 100 00:05:40.399 --> 00:05:44.040 out or lend her some money or take her on dates. 101 00:05:44.600 --> 00:05:51.759 But remember her. Yeah, but she didn't want a relationship. 102 00:05:52.399 --> 00:05:55.120 And I know, just because it's getting like chili outside, 103 00:05:55.480 --> 00:05:57.319 you'll be tempted to hit her up because she've been 104 00:05:57.360 --> 00:06:00.519 looking real good in her stories. Right, What you're not 105 00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:03.480 paying attention to is that she looks so good you're 106 00:06:03.519 --> 00:06:05.600 not even noticing it's somebody on the other side of 107 00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:12.079 that table. Every time she posts herself out at the restaurant. Yeah, yeah, 108 00:06:12.800 --> 00:06:16.279 don't leave, shine, come back. And what you laughing at? 109 00:06:16.279 --> 00:06:19.639 Sis ain't nothing too funny? Because remember that guy who 110 00:06:19.639 --> 00:06:21.800 would lick you from the rooter to the cootter, but 111 00:06:21.839 --> 00:06:23.759 then would turn around and tell you that a relationship 112 00:06:23.839 --> 00:06:26.879 is just too much, that's too intimate. Remember him? Yeah, 113 00:06:26.879 --> 00:06:29.000 he still don't want a relationship. Don't hit him up. 114 00:06:29.199 --> 00:06:30.959 Don't hit him up. And when he hits you up, 115 00:06:31.560 --> 00:06:34.360 hit him with the same thing he gave you. That's 116 00:06:34.439 --> 00:06:36.160 just a little too much. I'm just trying to see 117 00:06:36.160 --> 00:06:39.680 where things go and have him go to health. Okay. 118 00:06:40.519 --> 00:06:45.040 I know that the coolest seasons sometimes causes us to 119 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:48.319 fall back into old habits. And I don't know who 120 00:06:48.360 --> 00:06:52.279 needs to hear this, but baby, they ain't changed their mind. 121 00:06:52.600 --> 00:06:56.439 Okay they didn't. They've been to spin the block and 122 00:06:56.560 --> 00:06:59.959 play in your face, hit you with another drive by. Okay. 123 00:07:00.279 --> 00:07:06.040 So I know it's hard, and I know it's tough, 124 00:07:06.639 --> 00:07:09.040 and I know tis the season, but we ain't giving 125 00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:11.920 no second chances. Cut that out cut that out cut 126 00:07:11.920 --> 00:07:12.920 that out cut that out right. 127 00:07:12.959 --> 00:07:14.319 But like when you get your hoodie back. 128 00:07:16.879 --> 00:07:19.079 Baby, we're not giving no hoodies back. What are you 129 00:07:19.160 --> 00:07:21.519 talking now? You're not know? You a delusion because who 130 00:07:21.639 --> 00:07:27.600 getting a hoodie back? Nobody? If you think you're getting 131 00:07:27.639 --> 00:07:29.600 a hoodie back, you're in further than I thought you were. 132 00:07:29.839 --> 00:07:32.279 You really need to see kop because ain't nobody giving 133 00:07:32.319 --> 00:07:34.839 the hoodies back. That's that's that's the first and last point. 134 00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:41.560 And I hate, I hate. I can't stand seven what 135 00:07:41.600 --> 00:07:47.399 are you doing? I can't stand when you want certain 136 00:07:47.399 --> 00:07:51.199 things from certain people and I'll tell you, oh, it's 137 00:07:51.240 --> 00:07:54.879 not you, it's me. Y'all ever heard that before? I 138 00:07:54.959 --> 00:07:57.399 know you have, I know you have. It's not you 139 00:07:57.519 --> 00:08:01.319 with me. I'm not ready. I just got so much 140 00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:04.879 baggage going on. I got so much baggage. No, baby, 141 00:08:04.879 --> 00:08:09.519 you got so much bullshit, okay, because it's bullshit, bullshit 142 00:08:09.800 --> 00:08:12.079 because if I was the girl you wanted, or if 143 00:08:12.120 --> 00:08:15.120 you were the guy that she wanted, that won't even matter. 144 00:08:15.360 --> 00:08:18.439 That don't matter, baby, girl. Just sign this just like Jskie. 145 00:08:18.639 --> 00:08:20.560 That don't matter, baby, girl, just sign this. That don't 146 00:08:20.600 --> 00:08:24.160 even matter. It don't matter, It don't matter, right. And 147 00:08:24.240 --> 00:08:26.399 the crazy part about it is, I may be on 148 00:08:26.439 --> 00:08:29.040 my own when I say this, right, hear me out. 149 00:08:29.160 --> 00:08:31.360 Just give me a second, let me cook for a second, 150 00:08:31.519 --> 00:08:34.919 just just let it simmer, all right. I may be 151 00:08:35.039 --> 00:08:37.840 by myself when I say this, But I don't care 152 00:08:37.960 --> 00:08:41.440 if you have baggage. All I'm worried about is are 153 00:08:41.480 --> 00:08:43.559 you going to the gym to make sure you're strong 154 00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:44.360 enough to carry it? 155 00:08:44.799 --> 00:08:44.960 Now? 156 00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:49.080 Hear me out right, If we're being honest, everybody in 157 00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:51.480 this world got baggage, all right. You might have a 158 00:08:51.519 --> 00:08:55.080 small little carry on, okay. You might have an oversized 159 00:08:55.159 --> 00:08:57.120 over fifty pound join that you got pay a little 160 00:08:57.159 --> 00:09:02.320 extra for, okay. Everybody had some form of baggage. Maybe 161 00:09:02.360 --> 00:09:05.600 I don't care. I don't care if you have baggage. 162 00:09:05.960 --> 00:09:07.639 I just want to make sure you're going to the 163 00:09:07.639 --> 00:09:10.320 gym to make sure you're strong enough to carry it, okay, 164 00:09:10.440 --> 00:09:13.120 because maybe that's yours, that's not mine, it's not mine. 165 00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:16.720 I can't carry your baggage for you. No, I cannot, okay. 166 00:09:17.000 --> 00:09:19.159 And when I say, are you going to the gym 167 00:09:19.600 --> 00:09:22.799 to make sure you're strong enough to carry your baggage? Baby? 168 00:09:22.840 --> 00:09:26.000 Are you going to therapy? Okay? Are you going to 169 00:09:26.039 --> 00:09:29.960 the gym? Are you practicing self care? Are you working 170 00:09:30.080 --> 00:09:33.879 on you so that your baggage does not accidentally spill 171 00:09:33.919 --> 00:09:36.759 out onto me. Now, I got thongs and dirty socks 172 00:09:36.759 --> 00:09:39.080 and everything all, but that ain't mine. I ain't my baggage. 173 00:09:39.200 --> 00:09:42.440 That's not for me. Right, So I feel like a 174 00:09:42.519 --> 00:09:46.879 part of growing up, maturing and really saying I'm ready 175 00:09:46.919 --> 00:09:50.080 to be in a relationship. I'm ready to be somebody's husband, 176 00:09:50.120 --> 00:09:52.039 be somebody's wife. It's like, yo, at the end of 177 00:09:52.080 --> 00:09:55.799 the day, everybody got a little baggage. It's it's not 178 00:09:56.320 --> 00:09:59.159 it's not unheard of like this. This is an honest, 179 00:09:59.200 --> 00:10:03.200 common thing like your baggage. May be you still haven't 180 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:05.080 gotten over to death of your gold fish when you 181 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:07.919 were seven. I know, I know, I know. Goldie went 182 00:10:07.960 --> 00:10:10.080 down to drain and I hate that for you. Okay, 183 00:10:10.840 --> 00:10:12.519 you might have something a little bit bigger than that. 184 00:10:13.399 --> 00:10:16.559 Your baby daddy ain't shit, and now you don't trust men. 185 00:10:16.679 --> 00:10:19.559 I know, I know, I know. But what are we 186 00:10:19.720 --> 00:10:22.480 doing to deal with these tragedies? What are we doing 187 00:10:22.519 --> 00:10:25.720 to deal with this trauma? Are you really working on yourself, 188 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:29.039 cause like I can deal with whatever as long as 189 00:10:29.039 --> 00:10:32.840 you're dealing with whatever. Like I can assist to you, baby, 190 00:10:32.879 --> 00:10:34.879 I can't carry it for you. That's a little crazy. 191 00:10:35.279 --> 00:10:41.200 Hold on now, hold on, hold on, Carolina Cash says, yeah, 192 00:10:41.200 --> 00:10:44.279 but listen, some motherfuckers come with so much baggage you 193 00:10:44.360 --> 00:10:48.440 gotta charge him like Southwestern spirit. And you ain't lying 194 00:10:49.720 --> 00:10:53.360 and you ain't lying right. But here's the thing. Do 195 00:10:53.480 --> 00:10:56.279 you have the money to pay for the baggage? And 196 00:10:56.320 --> 00:10:58.879 I don't mean that monetarily like oh, like you got 197 00:10:58.960 --> 00:11:01.480 pay for me x Y and Z. I mean, like, bro, 198 00:11:01.679 --> 00:11:06.200 are you able to carry it? Like I understand that 199 00:11:06.320 --> 00:11:08.960 you have not dealt with the death of a parent. 200 00:11:09.240 --> 00:11:12.279 I understand that you have not dealt with your father 201 00:11:12.440 --> 00:11:15.320 not being in your life. That's cool, But what are 202 00:11:15.360 --> 00:11:18.279 you doing to get there? All right? Because it can't 203 00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:21.639 just be you know, I have abandonment issues, okay, and 204 00:11:21.679 --> 00:11:24.000 what are you doing to work on it? It can't 205 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:27.440 just be like, you know, I have daddy issues, okay? 206 00:11:27.440 --> 00:11:29.360 And what are you doing for that? What are you 207 00:11:29.399 --> 00:11:31.279 doing about that? Because it can't be just telling me, 208 00:11:31.960 --> 00:11:34.240 mab You need to tell the lady, tell the parrapists. 209 00:11:34.440 --> 00:11:36.679 Don't just tell me, like, what are you doing to 210 00:11:36.759 --> 00:11:42.919 work on it other than contributing to the ever prevalent 211 00:11:43.240 --> 00:11:46.879 amount of piss in the daving pool. Okay, because not 212 00:11:47.000 --> 00:11:51.919 dealing with baggage from your childhood, from previous relationships, from friendships, 213 00:11:52.159 --> 00:11:54.960 because we're not gonna skip past friendships, like that's not 214 00:11:55.039 --> 00:11:58.919 a deal breaker. Breaking up with a friend or having 215 00:11:58.960 --> 00:12:02.879 a friend betray you you or abandon you is something 216 00:12:02.879 --> 00:12:04.919 that needs to be right up there with them daddy 217 00:12:04.960 --> 00:12:07.840 and parent issues because they are very important because now 218 00:12:07.879 --> 00:12:09.600 I'm paying for trust issues that I ain't really have 219 00:12:09.679 --> 00:12:16.360 no part of. Hold on a second like that, ain't 220 00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:19.279 got none of that mean, So I feel like when 221 00:12:19.279 --> 00:12:25.879 we're talking about all these things, it's like, like I said, man, 222 00:12:27.320 --> 00:12:30.720 are you are you seeking counseling, are you taking medication? 223 00:12:31.480 --> 00:12:32.919 Are you practicing self care? 224 00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:33.639 Like? 225 00:12:33.720 --> 00:12:35.919 What are you doing to make sure you're able to 226 00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:39.720 carry the baggage? Because like I said, bro, like I'm 227 00:12:39.919 --> 00:12:43.000 I can assist you, but I can't carry it solely 228 00:12:43.080 --> 00:12:45.120 for you. And at the end of the day, you 229 00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:46.799 can't help nobody don't want to help themselves. 230 00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:50.399 So what's the is it empathize or sympathize. 231 00:12:51.440 --> 00:12:59.480 Empathize means I feel it. Yeah, Empathize means I feel bad. 232 00:13:00.440 --> 00:13:04.679 Sympathize means I feel bad for you if I'm not mistaken. 233 00:13:05.559 --> 00:13:07.759 But yeah, it's a difference between empathize and sympathize. But 234 00:13:08.200 --> 00:13:12.200 you get what I'm saying. Hold on. Carolina Cash says, 235 00:13:12.279 --> 00:13:14.440 hell no, if they could afford the baggage, they would 236 00:13:14.440 --> 00:13:23.360 be on Delta comfort. Ah poo, pootopia, POOTOPI poppy, your 237 00:13:23.440 --> 00:13:24.799 name gonna be Poppy for the rest of the day. 238 00:13:24.879 --> 00:13:27.799 I don't know what that says. It says all my 239 00:13:27.799 --> 00:13:32.120 life I had to fight who is Kaiser says, it's 240 00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:34.480 all a loss, almost like dealing with the transition of 241 00:13:34.519 --> 00:13:39.960 a loved one. Caskie Jack says, empathy yeah, man, Like 242 00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:44.559 I said, like it is. It's the empathize verse sympathized conversation. 243 00:13:44.840 --> 00:13:47.000 But at the end of the day, like like I 244 00:13:47.000 --> 00:13:48.480 said before, like I gotta help you, but I can't 245 00:13:48.480 --> 00:13:52.120 carry it for you. Next I say all that to 246 00:13:52.159 --> 00:13:57.639 gumes to my next point, right, And this is where 247 00:13:57.679 --> 00:14:03.000 I feel like the Internet place tricks on us. Okay, hey, 248 00:14:03.039 --> 00:14:11.440 stay strong, stay true. I feel like sometimes people have 249 00:14:11.480 --> 00:14:14.759 a hard time differentiating things that they see on social 250 00:14:14.799 --> 00:14:17.759 media and things that are happening in real life. And 251 00:14:17.799 --> 00:14:21.480 I know that sounds crazy to say, but there are 252 00:14:21.639 --> 00:14:26.000 certain people who believe that. And I'm gonna say men 253 00:14:26.039 --> 00:14:33.120 and women. There are certain people who believe that a 254 00:14:33.240 --> 00:14:38.080 majority of the nation and people in their age group 255 00:14:38.879 --> 00:14:41.159 are getting three hundred dollars spent on them on a 256 00:14:41.200 --> 00:14:47.039 first date. There are certain groups of people who believe 257 00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:56.240 that having the standard of I want a woman with 258 00:14:56.440 --> 00:15:02.799 no kids even though they have seven kids, they think 259 00:15:02.919 --> 00:15:06.519 that those those two people are compatible, right, right, right. 260 00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:11.360 And there are others others, like on the whole completely 261 00:15:11.399 --> 00:15:15.600 different spectrum, right. There are others who believe that you 262 00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:24.240 can treat people like shit okay, and still somehow deserve, 263 00:15:25.159 --> 00:15:31.360 maintain and keep a good partner. And I know, I know, 264 00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:33.480 I notice going sound crazy And some of y'all gonna like, 265 00:15:33.519 --> 00:15:35.840 what that don't make no fucking sense, Like you know, 266 00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:39.080 common sense ain't common, But you know, I digress. I 267 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:42.000 say all that to say, I feel like I just 268 00:15:42.039 --> 00:15:45.000 want to set a few things straight because if you're 269 00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:47.720 believing any of those things that I just said, we 270 00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:52.600 need to have a conversation, okay, And regardless of where 271 00:15:52.600 --> 00:15:58.080 you fall on that spectrum. I feel like at some 272 00:15:58.200 --> 00:16:05.639 point we need to get back to being problematic, immature, narcissistic. 273 00:16:06.200 --> 00:16:15.879 That's easy. That's nothing. That's fucking nothing. Okay, being problematic, immature, narcissistic, 274 00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:21.120 it's easy. That is nothing. You know how easy it 275 00:16:21.240 --> 00:16:23.679 is to just go popping Nigga's tires because he ain't 276 00:16:23.720 --> 00:16:27.639 answering the bone? Okay? Do you know how easy it 277 00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:32.600 is to upload someone's intimate photos because they decided they 278 00:16:32.600 --> 00:16:34.559 didn't want to put up with your shit? No more? 279 00:16:34.960 --> 00:16:37.960 Do you know how easy it is to put somebody 280 00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:40.960 on blasts and put all their dirty laundry on al 281 00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:43.679 Gore's Internet simply because you two are having a riff. 282 00:16:44.639 --> 00:16:52.159 Being problematic, immature, narcissistic is easy. However, moving like an 283 00:16:52.159 --> 00:16:58.159 emotionally intelligent adult or baby, that's hard. That's hard. That 284 00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:05.680 is hard. Moving like an emotional intelligent adult hard hard. 285 00:17:06.599 --> 00:17:10.119 Like having the strength to look at a situation and 286 00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:18.799 say I was wrong, Oh my god, oh my god, 287 00:17:19.079 --> 00:17:23.640 having the strength to literally part your lips and I 288 00:17:23.640 --> 00:17:28.039 don't even got big lips, part your lips. I was wrong. 289 00:17:29.200 --> 00:17:33.240 I could have handled that better. I see where you're 290 00:17:33.359 --> 00:17:42.720 coming from. Baby, I don't think you understand the strength 291 00:17:43.240 --> 00:17:47.519 that takes. That takes. It takes zero effort to knock 292 00:17:47.559 --> 00:17:50.640 somebody windows out, It takes zero effort to knock somebody's 293 00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:54.519 tap out. If you're good enough, boy, okay, it is fun. 294 00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:59.599 But having to the strength to be like, yo, that 295 00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:07.359 was cool. Me what what? Having the courage to say 296 00:18:07.960 --> 00:18:10.559 you're right, I see where you're coming from. That's hard. 297 00:18:11.279 --> 00:18:16.960 That's hard. That's hard in today's society, especially because the 298 00:18:17.079 --> 00:18:20.880 chances of you getting that same respect back has become 299 00:18:20.960 --> 00:18:25.480 so slim, has become so slim, so much so that 300 00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:29.839 like self consciously, it'll have you doubting yourself, like when 301 00:18:29.880 --> 00:18:33.960 am I being stupid? Like do I have to be 302 00:18:34.039 --> 00:18:36.279 the bigger person? Because I know nine times out of ten, 303 00:18:36.319 --> 00:18:39.359 I'm not gonna get it back. Like having the strength 304 00:18:39.400 --> 00:18:40.799 to still step out and be like, I don't really 305 00:18:40.839 --> 00:18:42.400 care what you do. I know I'm a good person 306 00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:44.799 and I know this is the right thing to do. Baby, 307 00:18:44.839 --> 00:18:48.759 that's not common nowadays. You can't get that from everybody. 308 00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:52.720 Everybody is not gonna grant you that same courtesy. So 309 00:18:52.759 --> 00:18:58.599 it's like when I say, being immature narcissistic problematic that 310 00:18:58.759 --> 00:19:04.039 is easy moving like an emotionally intelligent adult, and like 311 00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:08.480 having the courage to say, like, yeah, I can take accountability. 312 00:19:09.160 --> 00:19:12.920 I take accountability for that. That ain't for everybody. That 313 00:19:12.920 --> 00:19:15.519 ain't for everybody. And if you don't believe me, turn 314 00:19:15.519 --> 00:19:18.200 around and look at how many people have fallen out 315 00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:21.240 with other people And it could have all been prevented 316 00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:24.880 with just that one conversation. Yo, bo, were you right? Damn? 317 00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:26.400 I do owe you that money. That was wild of 318 00:19:26.480 --> 00:19:28.559 me to didn't take another shrip to Miami right after, 319 00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:34.119 Like small things like that, I'll pay you back, small 320 00:19:34.160 --> 00:19:36.880 things like I wanted to pay you back, but I 321 00:19:36.920 --> 00:19:40.039 didn't have the funds, so I chose to ignore you instead. 322 00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:42.720 That was wrong with me. I apologize. Let me make 323 00:19:42.759 --> 00:19:45.599 it right. You know how many friendships could have been 324 00:19:45.640 --> 00:19:50.200 saved with just that right there? At least one person 325 00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:52.880 you know, for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure, 326 00:19:53.920 --> 00:19:59.240 Like it's really it's really harder than you think. Outfit says, 327 00:19:59.240 --> 00:20:02.720 we're all accountabilit He unlocks a whole new superpower. Come on, somebody, 328 00:20:03.559 --> 00:20:09.200 come on, yes, yes, put option Poppy says avengro level 329 00:20:09.200 --> 00:20:15.960 of strength you ain't never Lie who is Sauce, says, 330 00:20:16.000 --> 00:20:17.839 it's not hard. You just have to be ready and 331 00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:25.000 able to deal with the consequences. Baby, baby, Baby. There 332 00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:28.079 are people who haven't spoke to their siblings in decades 333 00:20:28.119 --> 00:20:30.960 because they weren't even able to have that conversation. So 334 00:20:32.079 --> 00:20:35.960 I can't say it's not hard, because in today's society 335 00:20:36.039 --> 00:20:39.319 it is because the chances of you getting that back 336 00:20:40.119 --> 00:20:43.039 it's not gonna be easy. Hey, hey, g not gonna 337 00:20:43.039 --> 00:20:48.200 be easy, right, And I feel like that a word 338 00:20:48.359 --> 00:20:50.519 that y'all know. I like to bring up that, you know, 339 00:20:50.599 --> 00:20:53.119 I like to bring up put option. Poppy says, took 340 00:20:53.119 --> 00:20:55.359 my ex seven years of radio silence to come out 341 00:20:55.359 --> 00:20:59.720 and apologize for what she's done. Exactly. Do you think 342 00:20:59.720 --> 00:21:02.359 theree and folks don't take accountabilities because of shame for 343 00:21:02.400 --> 00:21:06.160 their faults and having to reassess their entire life? Absolutely? 344 00:21:06.440 --> 00:21:09.240 Like I wasn't joking when I said that shit takes strength. 345 00:21:09.559 --> 00:21:11.400 Like do you know how hard it is to look 346 00:21:11.440 --> 00:21:15.680 at yourself in particular and just be like, yeah, fucked up, 347 00:21:16.480 --> 00:21:18.640 I fucked up. But until you get to that point, 348 00:21:18.680 --> 00:21:20.799 you are not going to get better, not going to 349 00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:24.160 be better. Marquse g says me and my sister don't 350 00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:27.279 get along because she lacks accountability and stand on that 351 00:21:27.319 --> 00:21:30.400 boundary until she do, cause things will not get better 352 00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:33.200 until she do. I on my mom, they will not 353 00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:37.519 Outfit says On the contrary, accountability is for everybody. They 354 00:21:37.559 --> 00:21:41.599 flat out choose not to do that or tap into 355 00:21:41.640 --> 00:21:44.119 that because of a wild result they have in their mind. 356 00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:52.079 Hay sugarfoot. If you lack accountability, I think it comes 357 00:21:52.119 --> 00:21:57.200 from a few different places. But if you lack accountability 358 00:21:57.240 --> 00:22:04.079 to me, I honestly can't have you within a certain 359 00:22:05.039 --> 00:22:10.359 level of proximity to me, because accountability is very important, 360 00:22:10.720 --> 00:22:13.680 especially being an entrepreneur, because at the end of the day, 361 00:22:14.200 --> 00:22:16.799 nine times out of ten something go wrong, it's gonna 362 00:22:16.799 --> 00:22:19.039 be your fault and could have been prevented. Like or 363 00:22:19.200 --> 00:22:21.279 if you can't acknowledge the part that you played in 364 00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:25.119 that or how you could have been counterproductive, like I don't, 365 00:22:25.559 --> 00:22:27.240 it's not gonna work for me. It's not gonna work 366 00:22:27.240 --> 00:22:31.160 for me. Shot by Delli Dell says society allows people 367 00:22:31.160 --> 00:22:36.119 to lack accountability and play victim. I hate society as 368 00:22:36.200 --> 00:22:38.759 a whole, like that's where we are, yes, But as 369 00:22:38.839 --> 00:22:43.440 far as interpersonal no, because you will find circles of people, 370 00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:48.000 usually successful, people who are fine with accountability. Usually marry 371 00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:52.039 people who are fine with accountability, because having that accountability 372 00:22:52.079 --> 00:22:54.880 and holding yourself and everybody else to a certain standard 373 00:22:55.119 --> 00:23:01.240 is how you maintain quality. Okay, maintain quality shot by 374 00:23:01.319 --> 00:23:03.440 Delhi Dell says. Some people never want to admit they 375 00:23:03.440 --> 00:23:09.680 are wrong. And that's the problem, absolutely right right. And 376 00:23:09.839 --> 00:23:12.680 not only are they not gonna admit they're wrong, they 377 00:23:12.680 --> 00:23:15.200 ain't gonna turn around play the victim. They then are 378 00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:19.119 going to turn around and play the victim. Never mind. 379 00:23:19.160 --> 00:23:22.440 I didn't study for that test, Okay. When I was 380 00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:24.880 on my way here, I missed the red light and 381 00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:27.920 it pushed my time back five minutes. And that's why 382 00:23:28.039 --> 00:23:30.599 I couldn't get into the class on time to properly 383 00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:33.200 prepare to look over my notes to study for the test. 384 00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:36.240 And that's why I failed it. Nigga, if you would 385 00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:37.759 have studied the day or two before, you would have 386 00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:39.559 been fine. But she shows not to You were standing 387 00:23:39.599 --> 00:23:43.319 on the couches in the club acting like a drug dealer. Remember, Nope, 388 00:23:43.359 --> 00:23:46.559 you don't remember that. That's not important. Oh that's not important. 389 00:23:47.160 --> 00:23:49.160 Oh okay, okay, my bad, My bad because I thought 390 00:23:49.519 --> 00:23:55.240 they're being accountable, selling me, so selling me. And when 391 00:23:55.240 --> 00:23:59.400 we talk about accountability, I feel like no place lax 392 00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:07.920 it more war than all of our favorite places to visit. No, 393 00:24:08.480 --> 00:24:13.000 the dating pool, the dating pool, the dating bool. I 394 00:24:13.039 --> 00:24:19.000 feel like there is not a lesser resource of accountability 395 00:24:19.440 --> 00:24:23.160 than in the dating pool, because playing victim is way 396 00:24:23.160 --> 00:24:28.720 more fun. Right yeah, Because I feel like when we 397 00:24:28.759 --> 00:24:33.480 think about the worst date or the worst person that 398 00:24:33.519 --> 00:24:37.960 we've dated within the last three years, right, nine times 399 00:24:37.960 --> 00:24:40.960 out of ten, if you ask them what went wrong, 400 00:24:42.039 --> 00:24:45.000 they're not going to say themselves. They're gonna say something 401 00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:47.880