WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:03.919 Much for being here. I appreciate you taking the time 2 00:00:03.919 --> 00:00:05.440 out of your busy schedule. I know you have a 3 00:00:05.480 --> 00:00:07.480 lot of projects doing, you know, going on right now. 4 00:00:07.519 --> 00:00:10.560 So thank you so much for coming and private talk 5 00:00:10.679 --> 00:00:14.039 couch with us. So tell private talk who you are. 6 00:00:14.240 --> 00:00:15.960 I know, I'm gonna let throw this out there. I've 7 00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:18.000 been a fan of you for quite some time. This 8 00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:20.559 is like way back when we'll get back into that. 9 00:00:20.559 --> 00:00:21.920 We'll get into it a little bit later. Because it's 10 00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:26.480 about me, it's about you. So after choreographer, dancer, a rapper, 11 00:00:26.519 --> 00:00:27.320 you kind of do it all. 12 00:00:27.640 --> 00:00:29.359 No, I don't wrap you don't wrap up. I mean 13 00:00:29.399 --> 00:00:30.879 I can't bust a verse. You know what I'm saying 14 00:00:31.399 --> 00:00:31.760 some verse? 15 00:00:32.560 --> 00:00:33.880 It's today going to be the day you're going to 16 00:00:33.880 --> 00:00:37.159 bust and verse. Are you like an on the spot 17 00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:38.439 busted verse type of person? 18 00:00:38.920 --> 00:00:41.000 I do? I mean, you know, I'm a writer. I'm 19 00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:42.920 a songwriter, so verse all the time. 20 00:00:44.200 --> 00:00:47.039 So can you bust a verse for Team Taxis Team Texas? 21 00:00:47.119 --> 00:00:47.280 Yeah? 22 00:00:47.280 --> 00:00:50.119 At some point you know, all right, if NEOs saying 23 00:00:50.119 --> 00:00:50.799 I can bless. 24 00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:53.280 I mean we gotta do something spectacular. Neo, did you 25 00:00:53.320 --> 00:00:55.880 know he graced me with his beautiful voice? Singing independent 26 00:00:55.920 --> 00:00:59.439 woman because I am the independent woman. Yeah, so it 27 00:00:59.520 --> 00:01:02.079 was very it was very fun. I kind of like 28 00:01:02.119 --> 00:01:03.840 pushed it out of him, but he definitely did it 29 00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:05.920 from me. He was like not wanting to, but reluctantly 30 00:01:06.200 --> 00:01:08.439 just like real shut out of him. You know, sometimes 31 00:01:08.680 --> 00:01:10.640 it happens. It happens, all right, So tell us what 32 00:01:10.680 --> 00:01:12.200 you have going on right now. I know you have 33 00:01:12.319 --> 00:01:12.959 a lot of things. 34 00:01:13.439 --> 00:01:17.319 Columbus short is my name, and my game is what 35 00:01:17.359 --> 00:01:22.439 you said. I'm a producer, writer, director, actor, currently producing 36 00:01:22.519 --> 00:01:26.599 several shows, a couple of movies, in the middle of 37 00:01:26.599 --> 00:01:28.719 a production on a movie right now. We're on holiday 38 00:01:28.719 --> 00:01:31.040 break and playing Martin Luther King, which is really awesome. 39 00:01:31.040 --> 00:01:34.280 It's been kind of like a a dream realized. I've 40 00:01:34.280 --> 00:01:36.519 been like wanting to play that role for like many years. 41 00:01:36.599 --> 00:01:40.560 Was close and movies, you know, fell apart, and finally 42 00:01:40.599 --> 00:01:41.239 like we're doing it. 43 00:01:41.280 --> 00:01:44.000 So, you know, so you manifested its way into like. 44 00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:45.280 Yeah, we talk about that. 45 00:01:45.319 --> 00:01:49.760 Manifesting is I'm big into manifestation, huge manifestator. I like that. 46 00:01:49.879 --> 00:01:52.359 I mean too me as well. I definitely like staged 47 00:01:52.400 --> 00:01:54.159 the whole space before we came here. I was telling 48 00:01:54.359 --> 00:01:56.359 my cameraman I was like, just in case you wanted 49 00:01:56.359 --> 00:01:58.760 to that smell, it just staged. You know, you start 50 00:01:58.799 --> 00:01:59.239 off clean. 51 00:01:59.319 --> 00:02:00.319 I knew what I mean. 52 00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:02.359 So it's like, you know, I want everybody's energy to 53 00:02:02.400 --> 00:02:05.959 be pure and like beautiful and like you know you, yeah, 54 00:02:06.120 --> 00:02:09.319 showcase you as best as we can exactly. So what 55 00:02:09.479 --> 00:02:11.120 is the what are you on? Break from shooting? 56 00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:14.120 It's called remember Me, I'm playing Martin Luther King. 57 00:02:15.639 --> 00:02:18.000 It's like the story of Mahelia Jackson and Martin Luther 58 00:02:18.080 --> 00:02:22.599 King's like relationship during the start of the civil rights movement, 59 00:02:22.599 --> 00:02:25.319 how he went and like recruited Mahelia to be a 60 00:02:25.360 --> 00:02:28.319 big voice, an advocate or ally I would say for 61 00:02:28.439 --> 00:02:32.120 the movement. It's a beautiful story being shot beautifully. Let 62 00:02:32.199 --> 00:02:34.960 us he's playing Mahelia. We got a really cool cast. 63 00:02:35.919 --> 00:02:37.759 When do you think that it's gonna project it to 64 00:02:37.800 --> 00:02:38.120 come out? 65 00:02:38.639 --> 00:02:40.360 We were talking about that last night with the producers. 66 00:02:40.360 --> 00:02:42.199 We got to finish the movie first, So honestly, we 67 00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:45.800 got shut down because of COVID, like two days, three 68 00:02:45.879 --> 00:02:49.039 days before Christmas. One of the crew members got COVID, 69 00:02:49.039 --> 00:02:51.039 so they shut us down for fourteen days. We're back 70 00:02:51.080 --> 00:02:54.520 up first week, second week of January, so I think 71 00:02:54.560 --> 00:02:57.080 if we wrapped by the end of January, we'll probably 72 00:02:57.599 --> 00:03:00.400 try to be like a late release this so we 73 00:03:00.439 --> 00:03:04.560 can be at least in contingent for possible trophies, you know, nice. 74 00:03:04.439 --> 00:03:08.719 Season manifestation, Right, it'll happen. It'll happen. We're going to 75 00:03:08.759 --> 00:03:11.800 will it into existence. We are. So, what's one thing 76 00:03:11.800 --> 00:03:13.919 that you've learned during this pandemic. 77 00:03:14.439 --> 00:03:19.400 That I have always been on kind of a lockdown. 78 00:03:19.400 --> 00:03:20.879 I've always been kind of quarantined. 79 00:03:21.520 --> 00:03:23.039 It's in your own mind or like. 80 00:03:23.599 --> 00:03:25.840 Self, Like I don't like I keep I'm a very 81 00:03:25.919 --> 00:03:28.800 private person in some way. I'm on private talk. 82 00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:32.319 Private talk of the that's all we happy here Columbus. 83 00:03:32.680 --> 00:03:34.719 But I like I live a low key life. I'm 84 00:03:34.719 --> 00:03:37.319 just I work a work, work work, and so. 85 00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:39.000 So nothing really changed for your trying to say it. 86 00:03:38.960 --> 00:03:40.599 Actually went, you know, for creatives. 87 00:03:40.639 --> 00:03:44.599 I think, uh, the lockdown has been super great for 88 00:03:44.719 --> 00:03:47.120 us because, like you like yourself, look what you've done. 89 00:03:47.280 --> 00:03:47.479 You know. 90 00:03:48.680 --> 00:03:50.680 Somebody said to me the other day, like, if you 91 00:03:50.680 --> 00:03:52.960 say you're a hustler, if COVID hasn't made you a hustler, 92 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:53.879 then there's what you weren't in it. 93 00:03:54.039 --> 00:03:55.680 I saw that quote this morning, and I was like, 94 00:03:55.759 --> 00:03:57.719 that's the damn true that I can't see anything at 95 00:03:57.719 --> 00:04:00.360 all because it's like, you know, we all we'll have 96 00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:02.400 something that's going on. We're all, you know, doing something, 97 00:04:02.400 --> 00:04:04.759 but it's like we either switched it up a little 98 00:04:04.759 --> 00:04:07.039 bit and kind of like fits a different route or whatever. 99 00:04:07.080 --> 00:04:09.360 But it's like, you know, as a different definitely trying times, 100 00:04:09.400 --> 00:04:12.080 and not everybody has the same creative you know minds 101 00:04:12.120 --> 00:04:14.319 that you know we artistically are doing. But you know, 102 00:04:14.400 --> 00:04:16.639 in any sense of the word, you are artistic in 103 00:04:16.639 --> 00:04:18.959 your own talents. And if you couldn't make it out 104 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:21.800 of all of this, you know, it's I. 105 00:04:21.720 --> 00:04:24.759 Think the world was moving so fast, so much is 106 00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:26.800 going on in the first people to like focus on 107 00:04:26.839 --> 00:04:29.079 what matters, Like do things that you said you were 108 00:04:29.079 --> 00:04:30.560 going to do that you put off, whether that's making 109 00:04:30.600 --> 00:04:34.439 a scrapbook, writing a script, you know, doing your album, 110 00:04:34.439 --> 00:04:37.560 finishing your app, you know, whatever your passion is. That people, 111 00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:40.720 because life was moving so fast, uh, they put their 112 00:04:40.759 --> 00:04:43.519 passions are the things that they really want to do 113 00:04:43.560 --> 00:04:44.240 on the back burner. 114 00:04:44.759 --> 00:04:46.560 So I believe in that for sure, because I feel 115 00:04:46.600 --> 00:04:49.000 like there's a lot of things with myself that I 116 00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:51.240 wanted to do that, just never thought I could have 117 00:04:51.279 --> 00:04:54.360 the time or whatever. And even with like the shift 118 00:04:54.360 --> 00:04:56.000 of gear and what I was doing and being on 119 00:04:56.040 --> 00:04:59.000 the road every weekend and doing that stop. Yeah, and 120 00:04:59.000 --> 00:05:00.759 then it was like and my mind I was just 121 00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:02.240 talking about to my one friend. I was like, I 122 00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:05.000 don't think I would have ever like I was in 123 00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:07.279 the gears of motions of slowing things down, but if 124 00:05:07.319 --> 00:05:09.879 nothing abruptly would have happened, I would have have shifted 125 00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:12.079 the gears of where I'm at now. And you know, 126 00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:14.480 who knows if that's good, batter and different, but I 127 00:05:14.519 --> 00:05:16.279 believe it's a good you know, everything happens for a reason, 128 00:05:16.360 --> 00:05:18.000 so we're gonna keep on trucking. 129 00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:19.120 Yeah, I like it. 130 00:05:19.519 --> 00:05:22.560 I like it for sure. So what do you think 131 00:05:22.560 --> 00:05:24.560 about mainstream media? 132 00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:29.199 This is a this is a good question. It's it's 133 00:05:29.319 --> 00:05:32.240 it's it's a it's a it's a double ledged sword gift. 134 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:37.439 It's definitely gift occurs, you know, if I can like 135 00:05:37.560 --> 00:05:42.040 directly relate it to me personally. So, like very young, 136 00:05:42.079 --> 00:05:45.040 at like twenty one, I was like, you know, choreographing 137 00:05:45.040 --> 00:05:48.040 for Britney Spears, and you know, I saw you know, 138 00:05:48.279 --> 00:05:51.000 creative directing. So I saw like what fame and what 139 00:05:51.040 --> 00:05:52.600 the media does to her. 140 00:05:52.839 --> 00:05:54.199 Like behind the scenes, like what. 141 00:05:54.199 --> 00:05:56.680 They're doing, like you know, headlines that weren't true, these 142 00:05:56.720 --> 00:05:58.800 are you know, things like that, and I saw the 143 00:05:59.399 --> 00:06:02.319 toll it takes on them, right, And then it's like 144 00:06:02.480 --> 00:06:05.759 once I became my own man, and like my name 145 00:06:06.360 --> 00:06:09.560 became a name, I guess you would say, you know, 146 00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:13.759 I felt it on me, not for somebody else. And 147 00:06:14.279 --> 00:06:16.639 that's when I was like, you know, f the media 148 00:06:16.680 --> 00:06:19.160 I got. I was really angry at like TMZ and 149 00:06:19.600 --> 00:06:22.439 you know, these bloggers and these things that are necessary 150 00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:23.079 to the game. 151 00:06:23.560 --> 00:06:26.639 Right, So why were you mad? Per se? Because they 152 00:06:26.639 --> 00:06:28.639 were lying about you, because they were putting you in 153 00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:31.000 a false narrative, or they in all of the above. 154 00:06:31.199 --> 00:06:32.360 Correct, And I'm not one to. 155 00:06:33.000 --> 00:06:35.199 And because you said you're so private, right, So my. 156 00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:37.879 Whole career has been I believe in mystique. Right, I 157 00:06:37.879 --> 00:06:40.959 still believe in old Hollywood, Like you've never seen me 158 00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:42.839 on a reality show or doing that. Like you're not 159 00:06:42.839 --> 00:06:44.160 going to get into my life because I want you 160 00:06:44.199 --> 00:06:46.360 to believe the characters that I'm playing when I'm on screen, right, 161 00:06:46.680 --> 00:06:50.920 something Right, So when the first time you really get 162 00:06:50.959 --> 00:06:53.480 into my life and it's a false narrative and they're 163 00:06:53.519 --> 00:06:56.079 running it and running it and running it. I was 164 00:06:56.439 --> 00:06:58.920 I was like, you know, arrogant enough to think, well, 165 00:06:59.040 --> 00:07:00.759 it's just going to go, it's to blow over. But 166 00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:05.639 it really did have some some irreparable damage to my name, 167 00:07:05.920 --> 00:07:08.879 to my to my my ability to do what I 168 00:07:08.920 --> 00:07:11.319 love to do. So I was angry about that for 169 00:07:11.360 --> 00:07:14.560 a long term. What way, you know, So if we're 170 00:07:14.600 --> 00:07:21.319 gonna be bluntt. 171 00:07:20.199 --> 00:07:21.959 Shirt, you know, I'm gonna keep it on. I'm gonna 172 00:07:22.040 --> 00:07:22.279 keep it on. 173 00:07:22.399 --> 00:07:25.319 Buck I like it. Columbus private talk. I hope you're 174 00:07:25.360 --> 00:07:27.480 listening because he's about to get real with us, be 175 00:07:27.560 --> 00:07:28.079 real book. 176 00:07:28.319 --> 00:07:30.360 So you know, I was in you know, at the 177 00:07:30.399 --> 00:07:33.040 height of my career, I guess you'd say on Scandal. 178 00:07:33.279 --> 00:07:35.800 It was a number one show on ABC, and it 179 00:07:35.839 --> 00:07:37.920 was a big deal that you know, Kerry Washington and 180 00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:41.079 African American, first African American to be leader series on 181 00:07:41.120 --> 00:07:43.319 the network television. And I was number two, you know 182 00:07:43.360 --> 00:07:46.399 what I mean, thank you, And it was a big deal. 183 00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:49.439 But I was in a very very toxic marriage, like 184 00:07:49.439 --> 00:07:52.600 like toxic to the it's in the book. 185 00:07:52.800 --> 00:07:53.839 You guys got to get the book. 186 00:07:54.439 --> 00:07:57.079 People. You gotta read it too. Maybe you read a 187 00:07:57.120 --> 00:08:00.680 couple of chapters, but you gotta read it. And when 188 00:08:00.680 --> 00:08:05.680 I was decided I had enough of the toxicity, my 189 00:08:05.800 --> 00:08:09.000 ex wife like was like, it's almost like that graveyard love, 190 00:08:09.160 --> 00:08:11.319 Like if you're gonna you're not gonna write off in 191 00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:13.279 the sunset and be happy, and I'm not like, you're 192 00:08:13.279 --> 00:08:15.600 gonna you're and be famous and be. 193 00:08:15.600 --> 00:08:19.279 The kind of So I'm gonna tear you down with me. 194 00:08:20.240 --> 00:08:22.959 And she knew, she told me, you know, I didn't 195 00:08:22.959 --> 00:08:24.759 believe her. She was like, I can tear I can 196 00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:26.519 I can destroy you in an instant. 197 00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:32.240 I'm like, how And now I'm sure and you know, 198 00:08:32.360 --> 00:08:34.039 no offense and we're getting to know, but I'm sure 199 00:08:34.080 --> 00:08:35.559 you had an ego so of me like no one 200 00:08:35.559 --> 00:08:37.639 can tear me down whatever. 201 00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:41.120 Again, but it was it was it was a I've 202 00:08:41.120 --> 00:08:43.039 always I've always been humble. 203 00:08:43.080 --> 00:08:43.960 I'm a humble man. 204 00:08:44.559 --> 00:08:47.440 But there was a air of what are you talking about, 205 00:08:47.600 --> 00:08:51.639 Like I'm covered, I'm protected by see by Disney, by 206 00:08:51.679 --> 00:08:54.279 Shanda by you know, I got my squad. You can 207 00:08:54.320 --> 00:08:57.399 You're not just gonna drag me and she she she 208 00:08:57.759 --> 00:08:59.960 went to the lowest road. I guess the only thing 209 00:09:00.080 --> 00:09:02.879 she could say is like that I was abusive to her, 210 00:09:02.919 --> 00:09:05.960 which I never was, right, If anything, it was the opposite, 211 00:09:05.960 --> 00:09:09.639 which men don't talk about. They don't talk about allowing 212 00:09:09.639 --> 00:09:11.200 women to be abusive to me. 213 00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:14.480 But I think it's also because people the out like 214 00:09:15.200 --> 00:09:17.879 society thinks that maybe it shows men are weak, which 215 00:09:17.879 --> 00:09:19.000 is not something. It's a weak thing. 216 00:09:19.080 --> 00:09:19.879 It's but I think that. 217 00:09:20.559 --> 00:09:22.720 But I think that it's an easy narrative for the 218 00:09:22.840 --> 00:09:27.120 masses to agree with. First of all, being a black 219 00:09:27.159 --> 00:09:30.480 man being in a powerful position. Of course he's probably abusive, 220 00:09:30.679 --> 00:09:33.440 of course, and the fact that I was quit quite 221 00:09:33.480 --> 00:09:36.200 frankly really just ashamed of the fact that I was 222 00:09:36.240 --> 00:09:39.399 like abusing drugs at a high level to maintain, like 223 00:09:39.399 --> 00:09:41.519 I try to maintain my life with her. 224 00:09:41.879 --> 00:09:43.399 How do you think that that would have come to 225 00:09:43.480 --> 00:09:47.240 light if nothing like as crazy when came to light 226 00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:49.320 with your situation of you getting help. 227 00:09:49.559 --> 00:09:53.080 No, because I went to rehab after season. Had they 228 00:09:53.200 --> 00:09:55.799 forced me to go? It wasn't because it was because 229 00:09:55.799 --> 00:10:00.759 I was like, drama happened with my wife and on set, and. 230 00:10:00.240 --> 00:10:02.080 You know, I was left set. 231 00:10:02.120 --> 00:10:03.720 This is all this I got opened the book with 232 00:10:03.759 --> 00:10:07.039 this but I left set one day February twelve, twenty twelve. 233 00:10:07.039 --> 00:10:09.720 We were shooting episode two twelve, Season two, Episode twelve. 234 00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:10.639 I'm gonna have to rewatch it. 235 00:10:11.039 --> 00:10:13.720 Yeah, and I like left set, like I found out 236 00:10:13.720 --> 00:10:16.559 some information and I was like Distrata walked across the 237 00:10:16.600 --> 00:10:19.720 street to Gower. I was we shot on rosc Gower 238 00:10:19.759 --> 00:10:21.440 and Sunset. So I walked across the street to this 239 00:10:21.440 --> 00:10:24.039 liquor store next to Roscoe's, bought this bottle of shar 240 00:10:24.120 --> 00:10:26.799 Dan just started walking toward like one oh one, and 241 00:10:26.840 --> 00:10:29.120 I'm like, got my passport, I got my ID, like 242 00:10:29.120 --> 00:10:31.080 I'm leaving. I'm just like on some Dave spell shit, 243 00:10:31.080 --> 00:10:33.679 I'm going to Africa. It's crazy, it's ridiculous. 244 00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:35.759 So I'm out. 245 00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:38.120 I'm out and to get your advocate tickets ready, baby. 246 00:10:39.120 --> 00:10:42.120 And I think you know it was It went down 247 00:10:42.159 --> 00:10:45.000 in the production report. You know Columbus Short walking down 248 00:10:45.519 --> 00:10:48.519 Sunset and in six thousand dollars worth of clothes and 249 00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:51.039 uh in a wine bottle. Yeah, he's gonna need to 250 00:10:51.039 --> 00:10:51.519 go to rehabit. 251 00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:51.799 Okay. 252 00:10:51.879 --> 00:10:55.000 Yeah, So I did that, and nobody knew, like the 253 00:10:55.039 --> 00:10:57.840 media media. I went back to season three. Nobody ever 254 00:10:57.879 --> 00:10:58.960 found out at this point. 255 00:10:59.000 --> 00:11:00.919 Sorry to interrupt your story, but at this point were 256 00:11:00.919 --> 00:11:03.039 you doing like things on set that would make them 257 00:11:03.159 --> 00:11:05.679 what you do that It was just literally that that moment, 258 00:11:05.919 --> 00:11:08.080 they're like, something's wrong if you know, this isn't your 259 00:11:08.399 --> 00:11:09.360 character exactly. 260 00:11:09.399 --> 00:11:11.440 So they were like it got all the way to 261 00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:13.080 the top, and they're like, the only way we can 262 00:11:13.159 --> 00:11:14.159 let this ride. 263 00:11:14.200 --> 00:11:15.480 Is if you're gonna go and get get help. 264 00:11:15.559 --> 00:11:15.759 Yeah. 265 00:11:15.799 --> 00:11:19.200 Yeah, yeah, So and it was more important for them 266 00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:22.120 for me to like see somebody to talk about what 267 00:11:22.240 --> 00:11:26.799 was really going on because they knew. But I was 268 00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:30.480 like so ashamed of how dysfunctional my life was, so 269 00:11:30.519 --> 00:11:32.600 I hit it, you know, and dealt with it on 270 00:11:32.879 --> 00:11:34.279 my own private little ways. 271 00:11:34.480 --> 00:11:36.360 I think, you know, that's natural. I think that you know, 272 00:11:36.480 --> 00:11:40.480 it's it's it's only natural to be a person in 273 00:11:40.519 --> 00:11:43.080 your stature, Like you're getting into success, this limelight and 274 00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:45.039 all these things that you saw other people doing you 275 00:11:45.080 --> 00:11:47.080 coming up in the business, and now it's all the 276 00:11:47.159 --> 00:11:49.279 lights on you, and it's like, hey, I'm not a 277 00:11:49.320 --> 00:11:51.000 bad guy. You're making me the bad guy, and I'm 278 00:11:51.039 --> 00:11:52.639 not a bad guy. So it's like you almost have 279 00:11:52.720 --> 00:11:54.639 to defend yourself. But the more you defend yourself, the 280 00:11:54.639 --> 00:11:55.440 more you look guilty. 281 00:11:55.519 --> 00:11:57.120 And then exactly, so I said, I'm not going to 282 00:11:57.159 --> 00:11:59.039 say anything, right, I'm not going to say anything. 283 00:11:59.080 --> 00:12:00.000 I'm not going to fight back. 284 00:12:00.679 --> 00:12:03.399 And I was kind of honer against the courts, like, 285 00:12:03.919 --> 00:12:06.519 you know, you made these false claims in court. There's 286 00:12:06.600 --> 00:12:09.679 no way, nothing, nothing is true. There's no pictures, there's 287 00:12:09.720 --> 00:12:12.600 no you know, there's nothing saying, no evidence of this 288 00:12:12.720 --> 00:12:15.200 at all. So I'm like, but don't play with the court. 289 00:12:15.279 --> 00:12:17.399 It's what I figured out, like not showing up the 290 00:12:17.399 --> 00:12:19.759 court dates I was in, Like I was in Barbados 291 00:12:19.799 --> 00:12:21.960 on one of the court days. So when I got back, 292 00:12:22.039 --> 00:12:24.399 now I have failure to appears. Now I have you know, 293 00:12:24.440 --> 00:12:26.360 they think I'm just arrogant. So they're like, you know what, 294 00:12:26.440 --> 00:12:28.039 Oh we're gonna, Oh, we're gonna, We're going. 295 00:12:28.240 --> 00:12:30.720 You just think if you didn't gonna go, I just. 296 00:12:31.559 --> 00:12:33.320 Maybe because I never really. 297 00:12:33.120 --> 00:12:36.440 Dealt with legal Yeah you were to be in trouble. 298 00:12:36.519 --> 00:12:38.080 Yeah, I'm like, I would never dealt with it. So 299 00:12:38.080 --> 00:12:42.960 I'm like, it's not in it. Really, my honre behavior 300 00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:45.919 really was you know the problem. And then now I'm like, 301 00:12:46.440 --> 00:12:48.440 got a probation officer and now I'm like huh. So 302 00:12:48.559 --> 00:12:50.639 then you know, I was still doing coke at that time, 303 00:12:50.679 --> 00:12:54.440 so I'm like and smoking weeds and I'm like pissing dirty. 304 00:12:54.600 --> 00:12:55.679 So now I'm like failing. 305 00:12:56.120 --> 00:12:58.200 I don't know what a probation violation is, Like you're 306 00:12:58.200 --> 00:13:01.480 going to jail, That's what happens to get a probation violation. 307 00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:04.559 And so all of these things just started compiling. And 308 00:13:04.559 --> 00:13:07.559 then the thing that really shocked me, not shocked me, 309 00:13:07.639 --> 00:13:11.600 but hurt. But I understand now completely is that the 310 00:13:11.639 --> 00:13:15.480 ones that I expected to have my back had to 311 00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:20.080 distance themselves like almost like we have like everybody has 312 00:13:20.080 --> 00:13:23.360 to distance themselves from Columbus because he's not it's not 313 00:13:23.399 --> 00:13:24.600 a good he's not a good looker. 314 00:13:24.679 --> 00:13:27.120 Now you say that you understand that, Now what do 315 00:13:27.159 --> 00:13:28.320 you understand from that? 316 00:13:28.320 --> 00:13:30.320 That one? 317 00:13:32.759 --> 00:13:35.759 You know, when you have a certain stature and your 318 00:13:35.840 --> 00:13:38.240 name is respected in a certain way. Let's say, I'll uh, 319 00:13:40.799 --> 00:13:43.720 Chris Evans, who's a really close friend of mine. 320 00:13:44.080 --> 00:13:45.039 He's Captain America. 321 00:13:45.639 --> 00:13:48.720 I can't like he's focused his image like he can't 322 00:13:48.720 --> 00:13:51.360 be And that's the that's. 323 00:13:50.600 --> 00:13:54.320 The part about you know, the industry, is that as 324 00:13:54.399 --> 00:13:57.240 much as they're your friends, they can only like support 325 00:13:57.320 --> 00:14:00.000 you so much without tarnishing something in their own thing 326 00:13:59.879 --> 00:14:01.799 because of like having something. 327 00:14:01.519 --> 00:14:02.639 Happens just a bad look. 328 00:14:02.720 --> 00:14:04.919 So you know, I had I had all that like 329 00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:07.000 anger about that, and then I was so it was 330 00:14:07.039 --> 00:14:12.639 like writing this book was kind of the cathartic healing 331 00:14:13.360 --> 00:14:16.600 process for me to like you know, the man writing 332 00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:17.200 for the child. 333 00:14:17.279 --> 00:14:18.679 I guess I was. You know, there was still a 334 00:14:18.679 --> 00:14:19.799 lot of check. You know. 335 00:14:19.879 --> 00:14:22.440 I was always a pro, like I can I can 336 00:14:22.480 --> 00:14:26.200 do this, it's in my sleep. But I couldn't do 337 00:14:26.279 --> 00:14:28.720 life well Like I wasn't didn't have life skills, you 338 00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:29.320 know what I'm saying. 339 00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:31.440 So it had to like I had to grow up. 340 00:14:32.840 --> 00:14:36.080 All of it was meant and I'm grateful for every trial, 341 00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:38.080 every tribulation that I went through. I'd go through it 342 00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:41.919 again if I had to to learn what. 343 00:14:41.879 --> 00:14:42.399 I know now. 344 00:14:42.919 --> 00:14:44.960 That's awesome. I mean I feel like, you know, obviously 345 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:46.720 there's a lot of bad parts that happened, but I 346 00:14:46.720 --> 00:14:49.039 think that everybody's you know story. We all go through shit, 347 00:14:49.080 --> 00:14:51.919 we all you know, we all internalize it differently, we 348 00:14:51.960 --> 00:14:54.519 always heal differently and things like that. But as long 349 00:14:54.559 --> 00:14:57.679 as you can come full circle and see the good 350 00:14:57.720 --> 00:14:59.720 and the bad, and the indifferent of all it and 351 00:14:59.759 --> 00:15:01.720 know that that you're just you're moving forward to a 352 00:15:01.720 --> 00:15:03.759 better place. I feel like then that's you know, the 353 00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:06.080 first you know in the process of like grieving and 354 00:15:06.120 --> 00:15:08.600 like healing to the better person of yourself. 355 00:15:08.679 --> 00:15:09.960 Absolutely, we're gonna give you. 356 00:15:09.879 --> 00:15:12.759 A applause to that too. I mean it's hard work, 357 00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:14.080 you know what I mean in every day you know 358 00:15:14.159 --> 00:15:17.720 now even it's like it's you know, we all like 359 00:15:17.759 --> 00:15:20.559 I've been divorced, you know myself, and it's like, even 360 00:15:20.559 --> 00:15:22.399 though it was a decision that I made, it was 361 00:15:22.440 --> 00:15:24.679 a difficult decision even if you. 362 00:15:24.679 --> 00:15:28.039 Choose it, it is terrible, like divorce and death are 363 00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:28.960 like and. 364 00:15:28.879 --> 00:15:30.919 I and honestly saying that, you say that is because 365 00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:33.799 I had a conversation with my ex husband and he said, 366 00:15:33.919 --> 00:15:36.799 when you know more to the healing side of things, 367 00:15:36.879 --> 00:15:39.519 was like it was like like the only thing I can, 368 00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:42.159 like example of whise to it is like it's like 369 00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:44.360 you died and I can't had no access to you, 370 00:15:44.360 --> 00:15:46.360 had nothing whatever, and I had to mourn you in 371 00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:48.559 a way and get over the loss of you because 372 00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:50.679 of that. So it's like you're mourning the death of 373 00:15:50.720 --> 00:15:53.360 a relationship. Really is what it is, you know, and 374 00:15:53.360 --> 00:15:55.320 and that's just a factual thing. And you know, it 375 00:15:55.360 --> 00:15:57.679 was a hard realization because you know, nobody wants nobody 376 00:15:57.679 --> 00:16:00.519 gets married to get divorced. You want that situation into work, 377 00:16:00.559 --> 00:16:02.759 and you want to you know, be grow as one. 378 00:16:02.799 --> 00:16:04.759 But sometimes that's just not in the cards for everybody. 379 00:16:04.799 --> 00:16:06.960 And some people throw apart and some people are toxic. 380 00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:09.840 And when you're young, you make decisions for yourself and 381 00:16:09.879 --> 00:16:12.440 each other that you may not have done in an 382 00:16:12.440 --> 00:16:14.600 awoke moment of things, you know what I mean, Like 383 00:16:14.600 --> 00:16:16.799 when you said the first relationship is it was toxic. 384 00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:19.879 You know, sometimes us being young, we thrive off of 385 00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:22.440 things that happen in our childhood that we're working those 386 00:16:25.440 --> 00:16:27.679 or a product of you know. And it's unfortunately with 387 00:16:27.679 --> 00:16:29.600 my healing, you know, I blamed my parent I went 388 00:16:29.639 --> 00:16:32.080 through process of blaming myself, I mean, my parents, blame 389 00:16:32.159 --> 00:16:34.279 me whatever, and then just realizing what it was is 390 00:16:34.279 --> 00:16:36.720 because I wasn't given the tools to deal with or 391 00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:39.440 know how to have a good relationship, because I wasn't 392 00:16:39.639 --> 00:16:42.759 shown that. And not that my parents' relationship was horrible, 393 00:16:42.840 --> 00:16:45.960 but what I saw from the choices and staying and 394 00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:49.039 things like that is also implemented in decisions that I've 395 00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:50.879 made in my current life, you know, and things like that. 396 00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:53.799 So it's it's it's just awareness of now we have 397 00:16:53.879 --> 00:16:55.679 these tools, and I may not have gotten the when 398 00:16:55.720 --> 00:16:57.279 I'm younger, but I can only make an excuse for 399 00:16:57.320 --> 00:17:00.879 so long because I'm an adult. I can't keep blaming 400 00:17:00.919 --> 00:17:03.759 anybody but myself because I'm allowing myself to preach the 401 00:17:03.879 --> 00:17:06.720