WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:07.719 The morning mist always seemed to settle thickest around the headland, 2 00:00:07.759 --> 00:00:11.279 swirling in slow white coils outside the library windows. From 3 00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:13.519 the bus stop, the buildings roofle and looked half round, 4 00:00:13.560 --> 00:00:16.000 a jumble of weathered brick and pale stone, Gothic gables 5 00:00:16.039 --> 00:00:19.120 roaring back from squat Georgian bays, everything softened by moisture 6 00:00:19.120 --> 00:00:22.760 and silence. For years, during my regular walks along the 7 00:00:22.760 --> 00:00:25.679 sea wall, I'd admired the odd rambling structure crouched just 8 00:00:25.719 --> 00:00:28.600 above the Shingle Beach maroon, between fog and the sound 9 00:00:28.640 --> 00:00:32.039 of distant goals. And now six months into my retirement, 10 00:00:32.119 --> 00:00:35.079 I found myself making almost daily pilgrimages here, ostensibly to 11 00:00:35.119 --> 00:00:37.479 help with the archive backlook, but just as much if 12 00:00:37.520 --> 00:00:40.000 I was honest, for the pleasure of belonging somewhere, even 13 00:00:40.039 --> 00:00:42.640 temporarily after a career s bench shaping spaces for other 14 00:00:42.640 --> 00:00:46.159 people's lives. This particular morning, the weather was so dense 15 00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:48.880 you could barely make out the tide. Water ran in 16 00:00:48.960 --> 00:00:52.240 rivulets down the ladded window panes. I paused inside the 17 00:00:52.280 --> 00:00:54.520 front hall, shaking droplets off my umbrella, and took in 18 00:00:54.520 --> 00:00:57.679 the usual smells paper floor polish, the faint, browny tang 19 00:00:57.759 --> 00:01:00.880 that seeped into everything near the sea, says Fenwick. Glanced 20 00:01:00.960 --> 00:01:03.560 up and smiled, her smile as always as efficient as 21 00:01:03.600 --> 00:01:05.760 the rest of her then gesture toward the rear staircase, 22 00:01:05.799 --> 00:01:08.480 where a hand lettered sign announced archives this way please. 23 00:01:09.120 --> 00:01:11.480 The main rooms were closed for minor roof repairs, so 24 00:01:11.519 --> 00:01:13.120 the staff had decamped for the wheat, to which she 25 00:01:13.120 --> 00:01:15.799 called the Octicon. Near Peculia annex that had a gathered 26 00:01:15.920 --> 00:01:19.239 always been part of the building, but rarely used. Inside 27 00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:22.439 the room struck an immediately odd note eight high windows 28 00:01:22.519 --> 00:01:25.480 ringked the walls, curtains drawn back to catch diffuse morning light. 29 00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:29.079 The air was called the Achistics, faintly hollow. I found 30 00:01:29.120 --> 00:01:31.200 myself assigned to a sun drenched table by the east 31 00:01:31.200 --> 00:01:34.319 facing window. The light pail of Vladocross papers registers are 32 00:01:34.319 --> 00:01:38.040 steaming mug of tea at my elbow. I unpacked my notebook, ruler, 33 00:01:38.079 --> 00:01:40.319 and a handful of h B pencils architect tabst I 34 00:01:40.439 --> 00:01:43.439 hard and began sorting through a stack of neglected birth registers. 35 00:01:44.079 --> 00:01:46.040 It took perhaps half an hour for that first troubling 36 00:01:46.079 --> 00:01:48.319 detail to clang in my mind, quiet as a nick bell, 37 00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:52.000 every object before me, every bat of volume or polychromein 38 00:01:52.040 --> 00:01:54.719 dix card was supremely legible. A sheet of paper remained 39 00:01:54.760 --> 00:01:57.000 just as visible nearer the edge of the desk, despite 40 00:01:57.040 --> 00:02:00.159 the angle of light. My wristwatch's metal band leaned as 41 00:02:00.159 --> 00:02:02.159 it shurreed, but were its shadow ought to have curved 42 00:02:02.200 --> 00:02:04.799 on to the oak, but would stay uniformly bright. The 43 00:02:04.840 --> 00:02:07.239 familiar soil wet of my teacup, usually leaving a small 44 00:02:07.319 --> 00:02:09.439 lips of shade, didn't cast so much as a suggestion 45 00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:12.120 of darkness, even in the direct path of the sunlight. 46 00:02:12.759 --> 00:02:15.000 My own hand, when I stretched it above my memopad, 47 00:02:15.159 --> 00:02:17.639 hovered over the bright surface, but left no pen number behind. 48 00:02:18.360 --> 00:02:20.280 You might say it looked washed out, but that would 49 00:02:20.280 --> 00:02:22.400 imply the light was stronger than it was. The visual 50 00:02:22.400 --> 00:02:26.479 feel was gentle, the definition stark and yet flat unmodulated. 51 00:02:27.199 --> 00:02:29.280 Of course, I blamed my impression on the weather folk 52 00:02:29.319 --> 00:02:32.520 play tricks. An overcast light could be peculiar. I shifted 53 00:02:32.520 --> 00:02:34.319 the pile of papers, then angled the lamp on the 54 00:02:34.319 --> 00:02:36.520 desk to check its beam, watched as the chicken scratch 55 00:02:36.599 --> 00:02:40.639 notes glowed pale as frozen milk. Nothing. I consider the 56 00:02:40.639 --> 00:02:42.639 effect of the newly painted walls. The place was done 57 00:02:42.639 --> 00:02:47.080 in a bone pale wash, colorless, unadorned, almost institutional. Even 58 00:02:47.080 --> 00:02:49.159 the lead work on the glass seemed marred by shadow, 59 00:02:49.719 --> 00:02:52.719 perhaps gloss paint, a muse, perhaps some clever in direct 60 00:02:52.759 --> 00:02:55.120 lighting from above. Yet there were no visible ceiling fixtures. 61 00:02:55.639 --> 00:02:57.599 When a Cessphemick brought in a tray of sand which 62 00:02:57.599 --> 00:02:59.479 his lunch will be later than usual, if you don't 63 00:02:59.560 --> 00:03:01.919 mind builders in the kitchen again, I held the thought 64 00:03:01.919 --> 00:03:05.360 back would be before mentioning it a trifle sheepish, funny 65 00:03:05.400 --> 00:03:07.759 thing this room. The light. Has anyone ever remarked that 66 00:03:07.800 --> 00:03:10.759 you don't get shadows in here? She set the tray 67 00:03:10.840 --> 00:03:13.879 down with a brisk nod, barely sparring a glance. It 68 00:03:13.960 --> 00:03:15.879 is very even here. Isn't it something to do with 69 00:03:15.919 --> 00:03:19.080 the windows? It's nice and clear for paperwork. She plucked 70 00:03:19.080 --> 00:03:21.319 a sandwich from the pile, her mind already drifting toward 71 00:03:21.360 --> 00:03:23.840 the next interruption. Let me know if you need the 72 00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:25.919 heat of running, you'll feel the cold. The stones keep 73 00:03:25.919 --> 00:03:28.680 the drafts in. I watched her stride out, clicking the 74 00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:31.800 door shut just so, leaving the odd, gently liminus silence behind. 75 00:03:32.520 --> 00:03:34.319 Part of me wanted to let it pass. As with 76 00:03:34.360 --> 00:03:37.439 many coastal oddities, sometimes it's easy to attribute these things 77 00:03:37.520 --> 00:03:40.800 to the sea air. And yet all morning, every object 78 00:03:40.800 --> 00:03:43.000 I handled, even the stripes of sun on the floor, 79 00:03:43.120 --> 00:03:46.960 remained utterly shadowless. Later, when Tom arrived the breeze in 80 00:03:46.960 --> 00:03:49.400 the form of a young man scoff ascue sketchpack under 81 00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:50.840 one arm, I made a show of holding up a 82 00:03:50.879 --> 00:03:54.479 ruler against the light. Half joking. Tom peered grin shrugged. 83 00:03:55.080 --> 00:03:57.120 Suppose there's nowhere for a shadow to fall, what with 84 00:03:57.159 --> 00:03:59.599 all the windows? He equipped and turned back to alphot 85 00:03:59.599 --> 00:04:02.039 as he new baper cuttings. But by lunch I had 86 00:04:02.039 --> 00:04:04.080 found myself drawing the edge of my own hand, over 87 00:04:04.159 --> 00:04:06.680 and over, pencil tapping absently as I waited for shadow 88 00:04:06.719 --> 00:04:10.080 to bloom beneath none dead. It was a small thing, 89 00:04:10.680 --> 00:04:13.680 hardly worthy of alarm, but the absence grew within me, 90 00:04:13.719 --> 00:04:16.439 an unanswered not quieter than mystery, more persistent than mere 91 00:04:16.480 --> 00:04:19.399 trick of the light. For over thirty years I'd spent 92 00:04:19.439 --> 00:04:23.120 my life making sense of space, angles, corners, recesses, designed 93 00:04:23.120 --> 00:04:25.720 to play with sun and shade. Here the rules felt 94 00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:28.920 not bent, but missing. I resolved to pay attention. The 95 00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:33.240 sea always brought oddities. Perhaps this would prove another pleasantly unexplained, 96 00:04:33.279 --> 00:04:36.040 nothing more yet oppressed in behind the every day, a 97 00:04:36.079 --> 00:04:39.040 crease in routine that would not smooth out. The library 98 00:04:39.079 --> 00:04:42.040 had that effect on many things. The town perched where 99 00:04:42.040 --> 00:04:44.079 the North Sea wore the flanks of England smooth, had 100 00:04:44.079 --> 00:04:46.480 built itself from other people's detritus in the slowest silt 101 00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:50.079 of forgotten centuries. I had lived here seventeen years, walking 102 00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:52.759 its terrace lanes and weather piers, learning the local patterns 103 00:04:52.759 --> 00:04:56.040 of polight ecentricity. Brooke met Flint, met more in Victorian 104 00:04:56.040 --> 00:04:59.279 fancy work. At every turn, nothing matching quite right. The 105 00:04:59.319 --> 00:05:02.000 library is a p much guarded by mismatched lines, exemplified 106 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:05.319 the town's habit of gathering, repurposing, and forgetting. There were 107 00:05:05.360 --> 00:05:08.360 stories of hidden causeways beneath the streets of smugglers, widening 108 00:05:08.399 --> 00:05:12.079 sea caves. Everything layered and never quite reconciled in official records. 109 00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:15.160 The library itself sat where the carb was slope shoppy 110 00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:17.519 towards shingle, half a block from the tumble of moat 111 00:05:17.560 --> 00:05:21.079 boats and salt stone kiosks, fronted by a haphazard porch 112 00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:24.120 ground over columns. Mordyson sizes sprawled out and back, as 113 00:05:24.120 --> 00:05:27.319 if drafted by rival hands over decades. The main reading 114 00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:30.279 room sworded with ceilings of dust filmed glass and Gothic tracery. 115 00:05:30.360 --> 00:05:32.800 The older wings hunched beneath lower beams, paneled in the 116 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:35.759 pail with a soften pine particular to the region. The 117 00:05:35.800 --> 00:05:38.959 octagonal room, by contrast, was barely remarked upon an usual 118 00:05:38.959 --> 00:05:41.879 guidebooks or local histories. Its interests lay at the deep 119 00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:43.879 rear of the building, passed the fire door in a 120 00:05:43.920 --> 00:05:46.199 short corridor that dogged choppy to the left of devition 121 00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:48.399 that always felt as if it existed to reach the room, 122 00:05:48.639 --> 00:05:51.319 rather than lead from any were natural. Each wall was 123 00:05:51.319 --> 00:05:54.000 pierced by a tall, narrow window. The glass, old and 124 00:05:54.040 --> 00:05:57.759 slightly misshapen, refracted the gray light into odd gradients. There 125 00:05:57.759 --> 00:06:00.800 were no curtains, just tidy roller blinds always drawn up. 126 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:04.079 Its surfaces seemed perpetually cold, the air echoing softly, as 127 00:06:04.079 --> 00:06:07.399 if the room trembled at human prisons. Nobody seemed inclined 128 00:06:07.399 --> 00:06:11.079 to linger here. On my first day, Missess Fenwick had explained, 129 00:06:11.399 --> 00:06:13.560 not without irony, that even the staff only used it 130 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:16.399 when necessity struck, When renovations crowded out the main spaces, 131 00:06:16.600 --> 00:06:20.319 or when someone needed short termaco storage. It has its uses, 132 00:06:20.360 --> 00:06:22.560 she had said, but people forget about it too far 133 00:06:22.600 --> 00:06:25.839 from the tea room. Missus Fenwick, herself, never a less 134 00:06:25.879 --> 00:06:28.639 than brisk, appeared perfectly acclimated to the strange decrees of 135 00:06:28.680 --> 00:06:32.879 her domain. Her routines were cocroculists, sign and sheets, readings 136 00:06:32.879 --> 00:06:35.560 of the boiler dials. Her conversation always practical, but with 137 00:06:35.639 --> 00:06:38.839 the drivage of humor that I come to relish odd corners. 138 00:06:38.920 --> 00:06:42.040 Keep libraries honest, she told me once, And every British 139 00:06:42.040 --> 00:06:44.199 tone wants to pretend its past is more orderly than 140 00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:47.920 it was. Tom the University ate volunteer, drifted in and out, 141 00:06:48.079 --> 00:06:50.800 always chasing a mislaid notebook or hunting a missing index file. 142 00:06:51.360 --> 00:06:54.000 Disorganized in a charming way given to gentle teasing, he 143 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:57.319 appeared eager to master a dozen small jobs, rarely completing 144 00:06:57.319 --> 00:07:01.560 more than two. His interests, by preference, wander toward the personnel. 145 00:07:01.600 --> 00:07:04.120 Did you see the clouds this morning look like steam trips? 146 00:07:04.319 --> 00:07:06.519 Or you know there's supposedly a tunnel under the prom 147 00:07:06.560 --> 00:07:09.759 but Liam says it's just council rumor. Ellen, a penchner 148 00:07:09.879 --> 00:07:11.800 with snowy hair in the placidy of someone to whom 149 00:07:11.920 --> 00:07:14.360 libraries had always been home. Could be found most mornings 150 00:07:14.360 --> 00:07:17.160 sorting yellowing scraps or querying census rolls for a femal 151 00:07:17.199 --> 00:07:20.680 family connections. Her manner blended deliberate focus with a kind 152 00:07:20.680 --> 00:07:23.639 of dreamy curiosity, always researching, yet never in a hurry. 153 00:07:24.199 --> 00:07:26.720 She had lived through so many iterations of crystal reinvention 154 00:07:26.839 --> 00:07:28.759 that the libraries ought to be seen as natural to 155 00:07:28.759 --> 00:07:31.639 her as tides. And then there was Liam the Kerdica, 156 00:07:31.680 --> 00:07:34.360 whose slow economical way with tools suggested that he neither 157 00:07:34.360 --> 00:07:37.600 invited nor remembered fuss. His accent was the local deep 158 00:07:37.600 --> 00:07:39.600 water drawl, and he claimed to know every inch of 159 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:42.480 the building and the stories behind every repair ticket. When 160 00:07:42.519 --> 00:07:45.480 asked about peculiarities radiator pipes that chose went to rattle, 161 00:07:45.639 --> 00:07:48.120 light switches that governed other rooms, he'd simply smile and 162 00:07:48.199 --> 00:07:51.519 mutter about old stones and the funny mute my days, 163 00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:54.399 specially in winter, at quickly settled into ritual. A morning 164 00:07:54.439 --> 00:07:56.439 walk down Church Lane a paused to inspect the sea 165 00:07:56.439 --> 00:07:59.120 for visible boats or lingering falk, some reading at home 166 00:07:59.120 --> 00:08:01.800 over eggs and strong, then into town for library duty, 167 00:08:01.839 --> 00:08:03.879 which offered both a sense of purpose and an excuse 168 00:08:03.920 --> 00:08:08.759 to trespiss thru civic memory. The work itself was straightforward, alphabetizing, sorting, 169 00:08:08.879 --> 00:08:12.240 typing up notations lost to accident in time. The context 170 00:08:12.279 --> 00:08:15.120 stroll birth records, bankruptcies, and tidy lists of weekly choir 171 00:08:15.240 --> 00:08:17.720 members lent the task a kind of gravity. Yet that 172 00:08:17.800 --> 00:08:20.759 morning in the octagonal room, I found myself less concerned 173 00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:23.720 with civic business than with a growing hunch something about 174 00:08:23.720 --> 00:08:25.800 the air, the feel of walls too cold to hie, 175 00:08:25.800 --> 00:08:28.600 something about the place's refusal to let the ordinary rules apply. 176 00:08:29.240 --> 00:08:32.399 The absence of shadows at first was subtle, but as 177 00:08:32.440 --> 00:08:35.960 the days passed it became impossible to ignore. One afternoon 178 00:08:36.039 --> 00:08:38.759 alone in the octagonal room, I decided to test matters. 179 00:08:39.360 --> 00:08:42.639 As stuttering afternoon sundappled the glass with cold, watery light. 180 00:08:43.200 --> 00:08:45.519 I retrieved a small desk lamp from the supply cupboard 181 00:08:45.559 --> 00:08:47.679 and a battered wooden ruler from the bottom of my workback, 182 00:08:47.799 --> 00:08:50.919 tools familiar to any architect's hands. Setting the lamp at 183 00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:53.559 a distinct angle, I placed the ruler perpendicular across a 184 00:08:53.559 --> 00:08:56.279 blank page, then powered the lamp on, careful to shield 185 00:08:56.320 --> 00:08:59.279 its direct Claire, I expected, I admit, I wanted a 186 00:08:59.320 --> 00:09:02.759 shark contrast, the ruler casting a clear shadow stripe. What 187 00:09:02.879 --> 00:09:06.360 I saw instead was simply nothing. The page stayed and altered, 188 00:09:06.600 --> 00:09:08.960 just as luminous as before, the ruler almost as as 189 00:09:08.960 --> 00:09:13.039 suspended above a false illuminated ground. I moved it slowly 190 00:09:13.240 --> 00:09:15.879 en to end. The effect didn't change. I tried with 191 00:09:15.960 --> 00:09:18.519 my hand my pencil, a stack of index carts, placing 192 00:09:18.519 --> 00:09:20.960 them at different hangles, twisting the lamp, even cupping my 193 00:09:21.000 --> 00:09:22.960 fingers until they hevered an inch a of the page. 194 00:09:23.519 --> 00:09:27.840 No shadow formed objects retained, the outline perfectly above, remained ruthless, 195 00:09:27.879 --> 00:09:30.720 unstuck from any into play of light and dark. The 196 00:09:30.759 --> 00:09:34.039 air prickled. Even my own arm crossing in front of 197 00:09:34.039 --> 00:09:36.519 the lamp left nothing behind, just the faint sense of movement, 198 00:09:36.559 --> 00:09:39.720 but no silent turn of darkness. I stepped back, checked 199 00:09:39.720 --> 00:09:42.679 the lamp, verified that it functioned, unplugged it plugged it 200 00:09:42.679 --> 00:09:45.000 in again, turned to test on my own face in 201 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:48.559 the mirror of my phone. No difference. Then, as an afterthought, 202 00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:51.279 I carried the lamp into the corridor outside the octagonal room. 203 00:09:51.759 --> 00:09:53.759 There a standard as she marble bust, one of the 204 00:09:53.759 --> 00:09:56.440 many that littered the libraries. Holstoed atop a fluted blinth, 205 00:09:57.000 --> 00:09:59.519 I set the lamp to the side at once the 206 00:09:59.559 --> 00:10:03.679 expected The chatter sprang forth, crisp and marble edged. Satisfied, 207 00:10:03.799 --> 00:10:06.440 if not comforted, I wheeled the lamp back to the threshold, 208 00:10:06.519 --> 00:10:09.039 leaned against the jam, and attempted the same experiment, one 209 00:10:09.039 --> 00:10:11.759 foot in the corridor, one in the octagonal room. The 210 00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:14.840 result clarified things uncomfortably. The shadow of my hand cast 211 00:10:14.840 --> 00:10:17.440 into the corridor existed my hand over the threshold into 212 00:10:17.440 --> 00:10:20.039 the octagonal room. A shadows stopped abruptly at the line, 213 00:10:20.519 --> 00:10:23.120 like a light switch, but with no physical mechanism and 214 00:10:23.159 --> 00:10:26.440 no apparent source. I waved Ham down when he next passed, 215 00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:29.480 arms full of brochures. Indulge me for a moment. Come 216 00:10:29.480 --> 00:10:32.399 look at this, I said. He obliged, grinning at what 217 00:10:32.440 --> 00:10:36.440 he surely considered retirement, and duced eccentricity. When I demonstrated 218 00:10:36.440 --> 00:10:40.120 the effect, he watched, shrugged and offer funny that some 219 00:10:40.200 --> 00:10:42.519 kind of chick paint or eah. I never actually thought 220 00:10:42.559 --> 00:10:44.480 about it. Liam says the room's always a bit ot, 221 00:10:44.519 --> 00:10:47.120 but he means the draft. Besides, do shadows matter if 222 00:10:47.120 --> 00:10:50.639 the place is bright enough. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe 223 00:10:50.720 --> 00:10:52.759 I thought the difference lay in the choice of bulbs 224 00:10:52.919 --> 00:10:55.919 or some property of the old glass. Libraries had their 225 00:10:55.919 --> 00:10:58.919 share of corks. Nobody had ever died of a shadow shortage, 226 00:10:59.399 --> 00:11:01.200 but something it shut the base of my skull. More 227 00:11:01.279 --> 00:11:04.519 architectural than superstitious spaces told their own stories even when 228 00:11:04.559 --> 00:11:08.080 people failed to listen. That afternoon, my notes grew dent 229 00:11:08.159 --> 00:11:11.480 with sketches, angles, winter positions, the height of lintel's, any 230 00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:14.600 minor anomaly in proportions. I drew the room, mapped the 231 00:11:14.639 --> 00:11:17.440 sunlight patterns, all in hope that a pattern would betray itself. 232 00:11:17.440 --> 00:11:20.360 If I was attentive enough, sleep wouldn't come. That night, 233 00:11:20.960 --> 00:11:23.600 I lay reviewing facts and theories, from the practical, clever 234 00:11:23.679 --> 00:11:26.679 paint indirect layer to the more intriguing anomalous glass perhaps 235 00:11:26.679 --> 00:11:29.639 built for some kind of photochemical experiment, But none accounted 236 00:11:29.679 --> 00:11:31.559 for the totality of the effect of the utter absence 237 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:34.799 of even the faintest pennumber. The following week, driven by 238 00:11:34.799 --> 00:11:37.200 both boredom and an obscure sense of mission, I widened 239 00:11:37.200 --> 00:11:40.120 my approach. It was no longer enough to simply take 240 00:11:40.159 --> 00:11:43.120 things at face Valley. I fetched my phone nothing fancy, 241 00:11:43.480 --> 00:11:45.360 just a serviceable model with a mid level camera, and 242 00:11:45.399 --> 00:11:47.360 attempted to take shots of the stock of registers on 243 00:11:47.440 --> 00:11:50.919 my desk. Looking through the screen, the room appeared perfectly normal. 244 00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:53.440 The lines of books, the angular walls, the dense grade 245 00:11:53.480 --> 00:11:56.799 of windows, everything in place. I'd tapped the shutter, eager 246 00:11:56.799 --> 00:12:00.000 to compare. Reviewing the photo, my breath stored in a quiet, 247 00:12:00.120 --> 00:12:04.519 ridiculous flutter. The photo was white, blank, a luminous field, 248 00:12:04.600 --> 00:12:06.200 with a faint circle of a yacht of the edge, 249 00:12:06.240 --> 00:12:08.120 as if the room had resisted even the attempt to 250 00:12:08.120 --> 00:12:11.799 be captured. I tried again, focusing instead on Tom, who 251 00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:15.919 obligingly made a phase for the lens nap. The resulting 252 00:12:15.960 --> 00:12:19.279 picture was entirely grayscale, overexposed to no Tom, no books, 253 00:12:19.399 --> 00:12:21.919 only a shallow wash, like the first stage of water color, 254 00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:25.440 before details accreted the tree. I fetched an old polaroid 255 00:12:25.440 --> 00:12:27.840 from the soft closet, a relic saved for children's events, 256 00:12:27.879 --> 00:12:30.399 and attempted a shot of the window. The print came 257 00:12:30.440 --> 00:12:33.480 out developed and remained stubbornly blank, a field of gray nothing. 258 00:12:34.039 --> 00:12:36.840 Unwilling to attribute failure to mere camera issues, I stepped 259 00:12:36.879 --> 00:12:39.120 into the corridor, aimed the device to Tom and clicked 260 00:12:39.679 --> 00:12:42.679 the polaroid word. The result was exactly as expected, Tom 261 00:12:42.840 --> 00:12:44.919 squinting at me from beneath his mob of hair, room 262 00:12:44.919 --> 00:12:47.759 behind him, full relief shadows, and all back at the 263 00:12:47.840 --> 00:12:50.080 edge between rooms. I took another half the view show 264 00:12:50.080 --> 00:12:53.320 and corridor half the octagonal room. Once the image resolved, 265 00:12:53.360 --> 00:12:55.799 a transition was jarring the corridor a period as normal, 266 00:12:55.840 --> 00:12:58.840 but beyond the threshold, a featureless swat impossible to penetrate, 267 00:12:58.919 --> 00:13:00.840 as if the room's very present, and disrupted the act 268 00:13:00.879 --> 00:13:03.799 of image making. Even holding an object halfway over the 269 00:13:03.799 --> 00:13:06.440 boundary and outdated directory because a brick produced a partial 270 00:13:06.480 --> 00:13:10.399 blankness where it hovered outside the book appeared shadowed where 271 00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:13.440 it entered the octagonal room. Detail faded, edges, blood into life, 272 00:13:14.080 --> 00:13:17.519 Curiosity burned hot. Now I borrowed a digital ESSLA from 273 00:13:17.559 --> 00:13:20.720 my nephew, an amateur photographer, and attempted more sophisticated shots, 274 00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:23.960 different isol levels, flash, multiple angles, even a trope of 275 00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:27.399 for long exposures at lunch when sunlight streamed between cloud banks. 276 00:13:28.080 --> 00:13:30.759 The results were ever sawk her inside the octagonal room, 277 00:13:30.840 --> 00:13:33.559 every image file came back corrupted, the display, freezing by 278 00:13:33.559 --> 00:13:36.919 the image vanishing from the card. The moment across the threshold, 279 00:13:37.000 --> 00:13:40.240 machines returned to obedience. Something more was in played than 280 00:13:40.279 --> 00:13:42.559 mere oddness of glass, trick of the fog, or error 281 00:13:42.600 --> 00:13:46.759 of technique. My usual skepticism yielded reluctantly to broader possibilities. 282 00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:50.559 After Thursday lunch, I detered to the library's arc of cabinet, 283 00:13:50.600 --> 00:13:52.799 a batter much mended oak thing near the main desk, 284 00:13:52.919 --> 00:13:55.799 and began combing through the musty file folders, floor, planned 285 00:13:55.840 --> 00:13:58.879 event brochuers, committee documents, anything that might pin down the 286 00:13:58.919 --> 00:14:03.000 octagonal room's provenans. Yet among the finally ink blueprints, it 287 00:14:03.039 --> 00:14:05.639 appeared only in passing an unlabeled dependix jutting from the 288 00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:09.600 north corner, lacking any identifying marks or measurements. A vent 289 00:14:09.720 --> 00:14:12.399 invitations from the war years referred to the north reading suite, 290 00:14:12.399 --> 00:14:15.679 ore records, chamber staff members inserted the phrase auxiliary study 291 00:14:15.799 --> 00:14:18.480 or front sem in our room. Never one consistent label 292 00:14:19.080 --> 00:14:21.600 the shelf with these were indexed according to the library's 293 00:14:21.600 --> 00:14:24.679 own system existed, But as for the documents themselves, many 294 00:14:24.720 --> 00:14:27.559 were misfiled and some abruptly ended In the middle of ascendence. 295 00:14:28.200 --> 00:14:31.399 The room slipt through definitional cracks referenced with the mutability 296 00:14:31.399 --> 00:14:34.159 that made my head ache. No one else seemed concerned. 297 00:14:34.799 --> 00:14:37.559 When I asked Tom or Ellen, they shrugged. It's just 298 00:14:37.559 --> 00:14:40.240 the old reading room, Allen said, the one near the sea. 299 00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:43.240 I suppose, what would you call it? The octagonal room? 300 00:14:43.799 --> 00:14:47.480 I pressed, She considered, it's always had to name me, know, 301 00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:50.480 the study. The spare stack never really settled in my mind. 302 00:14:50.519 --> 00:14:52.360 It's where we put the parish records for a while, 303 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:55.559 didn't we I leafed her more floor plans, feeling like 304 00:14:55.559 --> 00:14:58.120 a man drawing maps for a coastline that rearranged itself 305 00:14:58.159 --> 00:15:02.600 behind his back. Athough he's accumulated. As I cataloged book 306 00:15:02.639 --> 00:15:05.440 stored in the octagonal room, scene repelled by the aging process, 307 00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:08.320 binding still crisp paper and yellowed. Some volumes dating to 308 00:15:08.360 --> 00:15:11.039 the nineteen twenties as bright as those purchased the last year. 309 00:15:11.639 --> 00:15:14.600 I examined. The stamps issue dates decades old. The same 310 00:15:14.639 --> 00:15:16.879 shelf quoted in at least three op books, Yet the 311 00:15:16.879 --> 00:15:19.399 books themselves felt to touched by time. A sea salt Eire, 312 00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:21.960 I began to lose track of time in small ways. 313 00:15:22.639 --> 00:15:25.720 On one occasion I entered to organize pamphits. Soon after tea, 314 00:15:26.159 --> 00:15:28.759 when I next glanced at my watch, i'd apparently miss lunch. 315 00:15:29.480 --> 00:15:32.480 The gears lagged by nearly forty minutes, but only, it seemed, 316 00:15:32.600 --> 00:15:35.799 while I remained within the eight sided space stepping out. 317 00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:38.639 Time caught up uncomfortably. The library clocks took forward my 318 00:15:38.720 --> 00:15:42.080 own sense of hunger striking all at once. I asked Liam, 319 00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:44.679 in his melodious county voice, if he'd ever had trouble 320 00:15:44.720 --> 00:15:46.639 with the room. Perhaps repairs that never seemed to a 321 00:15:46.679 --> 00:15:50.919 stake or bobsa never burned out? Odd, really, he replied, 322 00:15:51.120 --> 00:15:54.200 rubbing his chin. I keep all the logs you see done, 323 00:15:54.200 --> 00:15:57.480 everyone's schedules to every lock, fix heater's rest. Never replace 324 00:15:57.519 --> 00:15:59.840 a bulbin there now I think of it, never even 325 00:15:59.840 --> 00:16:01.679 touched up the paint. Might be the only room not 326 00:16:01.720 --> 00:16:03.919 to get a single maintenance form since I started. Makes 327 00:16:03.960 --> 00:16:07.360 you think a he winked an easy smile, settling over uncertainty. 328 00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:10.840 One afternoon, shoving a tartenbound copy of the gazette, I 329 00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:12.879 noticed a children's rime written in pintle on a slip 330 00:16:12.919 --> 00:16:15.120 bit of flyerly for half line that stuck in my mind. 331 00:16:15.279 --> 00:16:16.759 There is a room by the sea, slash where the 332 00:16:16.799 --> 00:16:20.000 light forgets thee the phrase Doug gets something earlier, something 333 00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:24.159 half remembered from childhood. My parents, coastal folk both used 334 00:16:24.200 --> 00:16:26.240 to sing a varian in winter, where the sea winds 335 00:16:26.240 --> 00:16:28.360 blow and the colocan stall slash comes the place with 336 00:16:28.399 --> 00:16:31.200 no shade at all. I laughed, startled to find it there. 337 00:16:31.840 --> 00:16:34.399 In the stacks, I found scribbled notes in several hands 338 00:16:34.399 --> 00:16:36.960 of shadow as reading rooms slipped between more regular entries 339 00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:41.080 about meeting minutes and furniture purchases. The fragmentary dates disagreed, 340 00:16:41.240 --> 00:16:44.559 one nineteen forty eight, another nineteen sixty two. The handwriting 341 00:16:44.600 --> 00:16:47.440 belonged to different generations. The pages themselves were creased out 342 00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:49.399 of order, as if the narrative had been shuffled and 343 00:16:49.440 --> 00:16:52.919 reassembled without much care for continuity. Each reference treated the 344 00:16:53.000 --> 00:16:55.440 room obliquely, no clarity about its use or origin. On 345 00:16:55.559 --> 00:16:59.960 the passing mention always on the margins. Having exhausted arcadectural explanation, 346 00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:02.759 I wondered allowed to missess Fenwick one rainy Friday, for 347 00:17:02.879 --> 00:17:06.079 usual designs were common among such coastal buildings. He could 348 00:17:06.119 --> 00:17:07.839 always tell which parts of the town were built. When 349 00:17:07.880 --> 00:17:10.240 fish was dear and beer was cheap, she answered, gaze 350 00:17:10.279 --> 00:17:13.000 sliding over my shoulder to severe a stack of unshoved boxes, 351 00:17:13.640 --> 00:17:16.160 oddities come and go outide carries, and all sorts of 352 00:17:16.160 --> 00:17:19.000 strange bits does in it room stories sometimes you forget 353 00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:21.680 how they arrived. She cocked, her tongue, lost in a 354 00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:25.039 private ledger of due dates, commandingly embarded. By now, it 355 00:17:25.119 --> 00:17:29.799 was clear the room's peculiarity exceeded mere architecture. Cameras, failed, records, 356 00:17:29.799 --> 00:17:32.400 blowd People registered the space, but struggle to describe it 357 00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:35.079 with any fixity, and even history itself seemed to dodge 358 00:17:35.079 --> 00:17:39.039 around its presence. My earlier theories clever lighting, selective for painting, 359 00:17:39.079 --> 00:17:41.319 the peculiar habits of windows had been chewed away by 360 00:17:41.319 --> 00:17:46.160 contradictory evidence. Space I thought should be concrete, mappable, shape 361 00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:50.039 begets function, Yet here shape marked certainty. I entered the 362 00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:53.920 octagonal room the next morning, braced for subjective confusion, determined 363 00:17:53.960 --> 00:17:56.319 to test the limits of its anomaly. I focused less 364 00:17:56.319 --> 00:17:58.640 on the sensation, the hair raising feeling of being watched 365 00:17:58.640 --> 00:18:00.519 by the walls, the gentle push of air that never 366 00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:03.759 quite warmed him, more on the mechanics. I studied the mortar, 367 00:18:03.799 --> 00:18:05.880 measured each ok took in an angle with the protractor 368 00:18:05.960 --> 00:18:10.039 examined the baseboard's withering detail. Then, as I circumnavigated a 369 00:18:10.079 --> 00:18:13.960 smaller puzzle surfaced. The room stonework did not match its neighbors. 370 00:18:14.599 --> 00:18:17.359 The color differed a pale, almost opalescent, where the corridor's 371 00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:20.160 bricked altar orange red. I scraped a bit of mortar 372 00:18:20.200 --> 00:18:22.559 with a borrowed utility knife. The dust fleat with quartz 373 00:18:22.599 --> 00:18:25.079 perhaps felt strange to the finger, as if both slick 374 00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:28.279 and chalky at once. The pointing lines didn't conform to 375 00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:32.039 the orientations elsewhere. Instead, each angle and seam aligned to 376 00:18:32.039 --> 00:18:34.960 compass points north, northeast, and so forth, while the rest 377 00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:37.680 of the library conformed into the town grid. Paid no 378 00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:40.720 such homage. The archtrey above a door, carved with a 379 00:18:40.759 --> 00:18:43.160 modest fan motif, was a style I'd seen only in 380 00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:47.359 older rural chapels, never in public buildings from the relevant era. Curious, 381 00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:51.039 I revisited the staff records, seeking any mention of renovation, extension, 382 00:18:51.200 --> 00:18:54.240 or refit pertaining to this odd corner. Ours passed in 383 00:18:54.279 --> 00:18:57.039 the Dame muffled hum of the libraries under populated morning, 384 00:18:57.680 --> 00:18:59.839 Apart from a few willy allusions to repurposing in the 385 00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:03.279 mond after the Second World War. I discovered nothing, no 386 00:19:03.400 --> 00:19:05.960 inverse tender on note from any contractor no entry in 387 00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:08.759 Liam's maintenance long since his own hiring two decades earlier. 388 00:19:09.440 --> 00:19:11.880 Even parish minutes, those endless files of civic fuss over 389 00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:14.440 gutters and lease old squabbles remain silent where the optic 390 00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:16.880 and no room should have demanded line items and petitions. 391 00:19:17.480 --> 00:19:19.960 Feeling the pressure of diminishing leaves, I asked Liam if 392 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:21.680 it was possible the room had been attached late, or 393 00:19:21.680 --> 00:19:24.519 perhaps a local builder using stone reclaim from elsewhere, had 394 00:19:24.559 --> 00:19:28.319 simply omde a paperwork. Now there's a question, he patted 395 00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:31.680 the wall, affection palpable. I've seen stone like this before. 396 00:19:31.880 --> 00:19:34.359 Mind up the cause. Not here. Old our crops that 397 00:19:34.400 --> 00:19:36.519 weren't worth quarrying we used for some of the lost 398 00:19:36.559 --> 00:19:38.680 break orders, more like lighthouse stuff. If you ask me, 399 00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:41.839 bits that survived the storms. You know. My thoughts snag 400 00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:44.799 on the idea refusing to free themselves. Why would a 401 00:19:44.799 --> 00:19:47.680