WEBVTT 1 00:00:08.560 --> 00:00:10.800 Hi everyone, Welcome back to Between Us Girlies. 2 00:00:10.880 --> 00:00:14.919 I'm Bailey, I'm Casey, I'm Lindsay, I'm Ran And today 3 00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:20.199 we have one of my dream guests, Poverty Shallow, four 4 00:00:20.239 --> 00:00:23.000 time survivor players soon to be five with all showing 5 00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:24.199 survivor and your. 6 00:00:24.079 --> 00:00:28.000 Book was released today. Nice girls don't Win. How do 7 00:00:28.039 --> 00:00:28.440 you feel? 8 00:00:28.839 --> 00:00:33.439 I feel Wow, I don't really know. I'm like so 9 00:00:33.520 --> 00:00:36.560 many feelings. I'm really excited that this book is out 10 00:00:36.600 --> 00:00:38.320 in the world. I've been working on it for so 11 00:00:38.600 --> 00:00:42.679 many years. It's like the biggest commitment of my life, 12 00:00:42.719 --> 00:00:43.719 beyond my child. 13 00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:46.679 When did you decide like this is what I'm going 14 00:00:46.759 --> 00:00:48.320 to do, Like I'm going to put pen to paper 15 00:00:48.359 --> 00:00:49.920 and I'm going to write this out. Like was there 16 00:00:49.960 --> 00:00:52.079 a moment where You're like, I have to tell this story. 17 00:00:52.439 --> 00:00:53.280 Yeah, it was. 18 00:00:54.280 --> 00:00:57.000 It was an important piece of the puzzle for me 19 00:00:57.320 --> 00:00:59.679 to kind of look at my life. 20 00:00:59.719 --> 00:00:59.960 I was. 21 00:01:00.240 --> 00:01:02.600 I had just filed for divorce, I'd moved out of 22 00:01:02.600 --> 00:01:05.359 my spot and moved into an apartment on my own 23 00:01:05.640 --> 00:01:09.000 with my daughter, and she wasn't with me for some 24 00:01:09.040 --> 00:01:12.079 stretches of time with the custody split, so I was 25 00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:16.959 alone for the first time ever and I was like, how. 26 00:01:16.799 --> 00:01:17.560 Did I get here? 27 00:01:17.959 --> 00:01:18.480 Yeah? 28 00:01:18.519 --> 00:01:21.000 And I think of myself as a pretty smart person, 29 00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:26.200 and I couldn't compute how I'd landed in that place 30 00:01:26.200 --> 00:01:27.799 that was so far off from the vision that I 31 00:01:27.799 --> 00:01:29.519 had for my life. So I was like, you know 32 00:01:29.519 --> 00:01:30.840 what I'm going to do. I'm going to just I'm 33 00:01:30.879 --> 00:01:32.599 going to write a book. I'd always wanted to write 34 00:01:32.599 --> 00:01:35.959 a book always. I'm a writer. I was a journaler 35 00:01:36.040 --> 00:01:39.400 when I was a kid, a dear diary. And so 36 00:01:39.480 --> 00:01:43.079 I just sat down, and I actually, before I sat down, 37 00:01:43.159 --> 00:01:46.000 I called a friend of mine who is a writing 38 00:01:46.040 --> 00:01:48.239 teacher who lives in New York, and I was like, 39 00:01:48.280 --> 00:01:50.760 will you help me do this? And so she coached 40 00:01:50.760 --> 00:01:52.959 me and really taught me how to write scenes and 41 00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:55.439 dialogue and we did it together for two years. 42 00:01:55.640 --> 00:01:58.840 Wow. I'm so excited to read it. And you talk 43 00:01:58.879 --> 00:02:03.319 about like everything from survivor to grieving to relationships, Like 44 00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:06.680 was it hard to kind of relive some trauma like 45 00:02:06.840 --> 00:02:08.879 as you're writing this back or was it more healing 46 00:02:08.919 --> 00:02:09.199 for you? 47 00:02:09.680 --> 00:02:10.439 It was both. 48 00:02:10.840 --> 00:02:15.599 It was so hard to sit down and think about 49 00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:19.280 those things that were so painful and feel those feelings 50 00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:23.879 because I'm my coping style is if something's really painful, 51 00:02:24.080 --> 00:02:27.159 I just I'm like, oh that hurts. 52 00:02:27.159 --> 00:02:28.800 I don't want to feel that or look at that. 53 00:02:28.879 --> 00:02:31.919 I'm just going to do this other hard thing that's 54 00:02:31.960 --> 00:02:34.960 so intense so I can distract myself from this painful, 55 00:02:35.039 --> 00:02:37.879 really hard thing. So I'd been doing that so much 56 00:02:37.919 --> 00:02:40.520 in my life that I'd created this whole kind of 57 00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:44.280 wreckage of pain and loss and trauma. 58 00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:46.599 That was unresolved. So then I sat down. 59 00:02:46.400 --> 00:02:49.159 And looked at like my childhood for the first time, 60 00:02:50.240 --> 00:02:55.360 growing up in a commune with a very controlling guru. 61 00:02:55.560 --> 00:02:59.280 It was a wildly dysfunctional place. But I'd never looked 62 00:02:59.319 --> 00:03:02.159 at any of that or had conversations with my parents 63 00:03:02.199 --> 00:03:04.919 about it. So I interviewed them for the book, Okay, 64 00:03:05.560 --> 00:03:12.039 And it was just really informative that I had had 65 00:03:12.039 --> 00:03:15.800 this childhood growing up that had very similar emotional themes 66 00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:20.560 and even physical landscape to survivor. 67 00:03:20.919 --> 00:03:22.439 Yeah, it was like the exact same. 68 00:03:22.680 --> 00:03:24.840 I paralleled it. It was like we basically had tribal 69 00:03:24.840 --> 00:03:26.319 council every night and the commune. 70 00:03:26.840 --> 00:03:29.719 And you didn't know any of this prior to this interview, 71 00:03:29.759 --> 00:03:31.759 Like you kind of did you have memories of it 72 00:03:31.879 --> 00:03:33.360 or was it totally new to you. 73 00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:34.520 You hear, we had some memories. 74 00:03:34.599 --> 00:03:36.879 I grew up there until I was nine, Okay, so 75 00:03:36.960 --> 00:03:39.120 I did have some memories, but very spotty. 76 00:03:40.360 --> 00:03:42.840 I hadn't thought about it in any kind of deep way. 77 00:03:42.879 --> 00:03:45.159 I'd just been told that it was an idyllic childhood, 78 00:03:45.240 --> 00:03:47.719 and I felt that it was idyllic. 79 00:03:47.840 --> 00:03:49.360 It was like very free. 80 00:03:49.599 --> 00:03:53.759 I ran around in the woods with friends and didn't 81 00:03:53.759 --> 00:03:58.080 have too much adult supervision. It felt like very natural 82 00:03:58.159 --> 00:04:03.000 and grounded and connected. But underneath the surface, what I 83 00:04:03.080 --> 00:04:07.199 didn't really have the ability to comprehend because I was 84 00:04:07.240 --> 00:04:10.319 a child, was there was so much abuse happening by 85 00:04:10.319 --> 00:04:13.840 the Guru and control, and there were so many adults. 86 00:04:14.199 --> 00:04:17.759 All the adults in the community were bowing to the Guru, 87 00:04:18.480 --> 00:04:21.480 giving their authority over to the Guru. Like the Guru 88 00:04:21.519 --> 00:04:26.319 control to everyone's decisions. She took everyone's money. Everyone donated 89 00:04:26.360 --> 00:04:29.680 all their money, their time, their energy to her. So 90 00:04:29.759 --> 00:04:31.480 I saw all of this as a child. I wrote 91 00:04:31.519 --> 00:04:33.000 it in my book too, because I was like, oh, 92 00:04:33.040 --> 00:04:35.360 that's how I learned what that's what love is as 93 00:04:35.399 --> 00:04:35.879 a kid. 94 00:04:36.040 --> 00:04:36.959 That was a template. 95 00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:40.000 So I had to really look at that and kind 96 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:41.920 of break it down so that I don't repeat it 97 00:04:41.920 --> 00:04:43.720 in my personal life. 98 00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:46.800 Yeah, did you guys sleep, Like was it like were 99 00:04:46.879 --> 00:04:48.759 you with like your family just in a house, but 100 00:04:48.879 --> 00:04:51.199 like was it in like a community? Like I can't 101 00:04:51.279 --> 00:04:52.279 like visualize this. 102 00:04:52.639 --> 00:04:54.279 It was like communal housing. 103 00:04:54.720 --> 00:04:58.439 We had a room in a shared house with multiple families. 104 00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:00.959 I'm sure a lot of this shaped like why you 105 00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:03.519 were so good at Survivor. But do you consider this 106 00:05:03.600 --> 00:05:05.360 to be like a cult? Like is that like a 107 00:05:05.439 --> 00:05:06.839 culty upbringing or like. 108 00:05:07.439 --> 00:05:11.240 It has some of the hallmarks of a cult. I'm 109 00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:15.519 not calling it a cult for specific purposes. 110 00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:17.120 But it does have some of this. 111 00:05:19.160 --> 00:05:21.199 And then like, how did you guys like decide to 112 00:05:21.279 --> 00:05:24.160 like leave that commune? And was it weird kind of 113 00:05:24.680 --> 00:05:28.439 you know, adapting to a different society because that's all 114 00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:30.360 you knew was a child, and then you know you're 115 00:05:30.439 --> 00:05:33.399 nine years old and then suddenly you're not in that anymore. 116 00:05:34.160 --> 00:05:39.519 It was a culture shocky completely. So we moved from 117 00:05:39.639 --> 00:05:43.360 that's chapter one of the book. Yea too, And I 118 00:05:43.399 --> 00:05:47.519 broke down the book in the survival modes, flight, Fight, fawn, Freeze. 119 00:05:47.360 --> 00:05:49.839 Which is amazing, right, yeah, cool? 120 00:05:49.920 --> 00:05:50.199 Correct. 121 00:05:51.279 --> 00:05:54.040 I thought it was helpful because I'm doing a lot 122 00:05:54.040 --> 00:05:55.240 of work on my nervous and stuff. 123 00:05:55.560 --> 00:05:58.720 So you grew up like in Florida and then was 124 00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:00.160 that where you were located when you went to your 125 00:06:00.199 --> 00:06:01.160 first season of Survivor. 126 00:06:01.319 --> 00:06:04.160 No, we moved to Georgia, Okay when I was nine. 127 00:06:04.199 --> 00:06:06.600 My parents did a lot of work, and I commend 128 00:06:06.600 --> 00:06:09.360 them for this because it's not easy to leave a 129 00:06:09.639 --> 00:06:12.920 community that is your whole life, and especially something that's 130 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:17.600 so controlling and you're insulated there. They were very isolated 131 00:06:17.680 --> 00:06:20.120 from the outside world, so they did a lot of 132 00:06:20.160 --> 00:06:26.079 work to deprogram that kind of thinking and to establish 133 00:06:26.079 --> 00:06:30.680 themselves in their own inner authority so that they could 134 00:06:30.680 --> 00:06:33.639 make decisions that were right for them. And then they realized, like, 135 00:06:33.720 --> 00:06:35.480 this is very unhealthy. We want to get out of here. 136 00:06:36.040 --> 00:06:37.879 So they bounced with me and my sister. When I 137 00:06:37.920 --> 00:06:40.120 was nine, we moved to Georgia and they really built 138 00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:43.000 a life from scratch, so it was very They were 139 00:06:43.079 --> 00:06:46.439 my first experience and first teachers of this is how 140 00:06:46.480 --> 00:06:48.920 to survive. This is any time you get stuck in 141 00:06:48.959 --> 00:06:52.800 something that's not healthy, you can get out of it. 142 00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:54.480 You can start over. 143 00:06:54.839 --> 00:06:55.360 Yeah. 144 00:06:55.399 --> 00:06:58.079 What an amazing message, just like in life, but also 145 00:06:58.120 --> 00:06:59.800 for you to pass into your book like was that 146 00:06:59.839 --> 00:07:02.639 a huge driving force for you to kind of teach other. 147 00:07:02.519 --> 00:07:04.240 People these things when writing this book, or. 148 00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:06.839 Did you really just want to tell your story and 149 00:07:06.920 --> 00:07:07.959 kind of see where it landed. 150 00:07:08.199 --> 00:07:12.000 It's a service project. I'm a life coach. I'm like 151 00:07:12.040 --> 00:07:12.759 a virgo. 152 00:07:13.879 --> 00:07:16.639 I can't help it. I give a lot of advice 153 00:07:16.680 --> 00:07:18.279 to people, whether they want it or not. 154 00:07:18.560 --> 00:07:21.480 I'm like, read this book, it's medicine. 155 00:07:22.120 --> 00:07:24.879 What like when you're writing this, what is something that 156 00:07:24.920 --> 00:07:27.240 you're really excited for people to read, and what's something 157 00:07:27.240 --> 00:07:28.920 you're like a little bit nervous, Like is there a 158 00:07:28.959 --> 00:07:31.800 certain chapter that you're like, ooh, it's going to turn 159 00:07:31.800 --> 00:07:32.560 some heads. 160 00:07:32.800 --> 00:07:35.759 There are multiple chapters that are going to turn head. 161 00:07:37.160 --> 00:07:43.560 I wrote some provocative stories in there, and not to 162 00:07:43.639 --> 00:07:49.519 sensationalize anything, but my life is pretty and intense at times. 163 00:07:50.079 --> 00:07:52.720 So some of the stories, I mean, the survivor stories, 164 00:07:52.720 --> 00:07:54.839 everyone's aware of, I think for the most part. But 165 00:07:54.959 --> 00:07:57.720 what a reader is going to hear for the first 166 00:07:57.720 --> 00:08:04.240 time is my feelings and my personal experience of going 167 00:08:04.319 --> 00:08:05.920 through the things that you saw on screen. 168 00:08:06.600 --> 00:08:07.959 So there's that stuff. 169 00:08:08.040 --> 00:08:11.279 And then I went through a really difficult divorce and 170 00:08:11.600 --> 00:08:14.800 I lost my brother to an overdose around all around 171 00:08:14.800 --> 00:08:18.639 the kind of the same time, and that was super 172 00:08:19.000 --> 00:08:23.519 hard and painful. But I wrote about it because when 173 00:08:23.560 --> 00:08:25.759 I was going through that stuff, the things that helped 174 00:08:25.800 --> 00:08:29.560 me was hearing other people's stories of going through divorce 175 00:08:29.800 --> 00:08:33.039 and how they came to the decision to do it 176 00:08:33.519 --> 00:08:35.440 and then how they got through it to the other side, 177 00:08:35.639 --> 00:08:37.879 and then grief, Like I read a lot of grief 178 00:08:37.919 --> 00:08:40.200 memoirs when I was dealing with the grief of the 179 00:08:40.240 --> 00:08:43.000 loss of my brother, and it was just supportive. So 180 00:08:43.039 --> 00:08:46.000 I just wanted to include those stories so that other 181 00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:49.120 people could find their way through that experience, because it's 182 00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:51.919 something that we all, every single person has been touched. 183 00:08:51.679 --> 00:08:54.600 By grief, and a lot of people have been touched 184 00:08:54.600 --> 00:08:57.000 by addiction. So I included those. 185 00:08:57.039 --> 00:08:59.720 And then also, you know, I came out in a 186 00:08:59.759 --> 00:09:03.480 quick relationship and so there's a nice little sex scene 187 00:09:03.480 --> 00:09:03.799 in there. 188 00:09:04.960 --> 00:09:06.120 It's pretty spicy. 189 00:09:06.399 --> 00:09:08.519 What's the biggest difference you think between dating women and 190 00:09:08.600 --> 00:09:09.120 dating men? 191 00:09:09.679 --> 00:09:12.600 Well, May's not a woman, mased, not binary. But so 192 00:09:12.639 --> 00:09:15.480 I haven't actually officially dated a woman, okay, but I've 193 00:09:15.559 --> 00:09:16.399 dated and not man. 194 00:09:16.759 --> 00:09:21.320 Okay, okay, would you date women in the future. 195 00:09:21.799 --> 00:09:27.080 Yeah, I think dating may like really expanded my mind 196 00:09:27.240 --> 00:09:30.240 where I'm it just broke the box for me. Yeah, 197 00:09:30.279 --> 00:09:34.240 so there is no box anymore. Oh, wide open. 198 00:09:34.799 --> 00:09:35.440 We love that. 199 00:09:35.519 --> 00:09:36.879 Yeah, that's how everyone should just live with. 200 00:09:37.840 --> 00:09:38.879 Yeah. Open. 201 00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:40.720 You don't have to contrain yourself if you want to, 202 00:09:40.720 --> 00:09:42.159 if you feel comfortable. 203 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:42.759 Finding your place. 204 00:09:42.799 --> 00:09:44.919 But I feel like I always find more comfort in 205 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:47.679 just being like, I don't know, it's fluid, who knows what, 206 00:09:47.679 --> 00:09:49.559 what I am, what I'm doing anything like. 207 00:09:49.480 --> 00:09:51.480 That, right, And it's more fun like that. 208 00:09:51.519 --> 00:09:54.440 There's so many rules that I was adhering to without 209 00:09:54.480 --> 00:09:59.559 even knowing. Being in a heterosexual dynamic yah and dating men, 210 00:09:59.720 --> 00:10:03.279 it was I was just performing this role of woman 211 00:10:04.679 --> 00:10:08.120 in any date, any relationship. And then when I didn't 212 00:10:08.120 --> 00:10:09.039 have to do that, it. 213 00:10:09.080 --> 00:10:14.759 Was like what, Ah, I'm so free, happy too. I 214 00:10:14.879 --> 00:10:16.960 was so yeah, I'm so happy. 215 00:10:17.279 --> 00:10:20.720 I love that. Well, let's talk Survivor. So I'm a 216 00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:24.639 huge Survivor fan. My bar Mitza was Survivor themes. We 217 00:10:24.720 --> 00:10:27.399 have a segment which we'll get to that is completely 218 00:10:27.679 --> 00:10:30.000 based off Survivor and you have a big part in that. 219 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:34.759 But your first Survivor season, Cook Island season thirteen quite 220 00:10:34.840 --> 00:10:38.960 a controversial season, certainly how old were you when that? 221 00:10:39.399 --> 00:10:41.200 Were you twenty four when that was filmed? 222 00:10:41.240 --> 00:10:43.000 Twenty two, twenty two? 223 00:10:43.519 --> 00:10:45.519 And did I read somewhere did you apply for a 224 00:10:45.559 --> 00:10:48.200 different show? And then they cast you for Survivor? Was 225 00:10:48.240 --> 00:10:49.000 an amazing race. 226 00:10:49.120 --> 00:10:50.720 I wrote the story in my book. 227 00:10:51.120 --> 00:10:54.240 Okay, oh see, I'm a super fan, so I know you're. 228 00:10:54.039 --> 00:10:55.360 Gonna love the story too. 229 00:10:55.399 --> 00:11:00.000 It's a full scene of going into the casting office. Yeah, 230 00:11:00.200 --> 00:11:02.879 and like getting the call beforehand from a friend who 231 00:11:02.919 --> 00:11:05.399 was a casting agent, because this was around it was 232 00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:08.919 a very different era in Survivor and in casting where 233 00:11:08.919 --> 00:11:09.759 they were recruiting. 234 00:11:10.039 --> 00:11:10.279 Yeah. 235 00:11:10.360 --> 00:11:12.879 So a friend of mine was a casting associate who 236 00:11:12.919 --> 00:11:15.879 was a recruiter, and he called me to do race. 237 00:11:16.519 --> 00:11:19.360 So I went in with two girlfriends and then the 238 00:11:19.399 --> 00:11:20.759 casting agent was like. 239 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:25.080 Pick and I was like what you pick? 240 00:11:25.080 --> 00:11:27.559 I guess your job And she was like you want 241 00:11:27.559 --> 00:11:31.639 to win, don't you? And I said of course. Then 242 00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:33.519 she said which one would you win with? And I 243 00:11:33.639 --> 00:11:35.440 just picked right there in the room, and then she 244 00:11:35.519 --> 00:11:36.759 was like you're good for Survivor. 245 00:11:38.919 --> 00:11:43.200 Way, now, how'd you watch Survivor before? 246 00:11:43.799 --> 00:11:46.000 No, so did you see. 247 00:11:45.679 --> 00:11:47.879 Anything before you got signed? Like, had you had any 248 00:11:47.879 --> 00:11:49.440 idea of how the game worked or whatever. 249 00:11:49.879 --> 00:11:53.039 Yes, when they put us in the hotel for casting. 250 00:11:52.720 --> 00:11:53.960 They show you old seasons. 251 00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:54.360 Yeah. 252 00:11:54.399 --> 00:11:58.840 So we stay in a hotel for a week, maybe 253 00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:01.440 a few days or a week, and they would show 254 00:12:01.519 --> 00:12:05.720 us episodes of Survivor. So and the casting director told 255 00:12:05.759 --> 00:12:09.720 me to watch Stephanie La Grosse's season, her first season 256 00:12:10.039 --> 00:12:14.000 where she becomes the only woman left standing on her tribe. 257 00:12:14.159 --> 00:12:18.000 Tribe gets like completely descinated. Yeah, that was insane, a 258 00:12:18.039 --> 00:12:20.399 lone wolf out there. And I was like, okay, oh god, 259 00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:23.120 I got to learn how to make a fire without 260 00:12:23.240 --> 00:12:24.840 that actually was terrifying. 261 00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:27.080 From watching it in the hotel room. And then like 262 00:12:27.320 --> 00:12:29.559 a few days later you go in. Was it anything 263 00:12:29.600 --> 00:12:31.960 like you expected? Like did the show actually prepare you 264 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:32.279 at all? 265 00:12:32.639 --> 00:12:35.960 No? How many be prepared mathchingly. 266 00:12:36.200 --> 00:12:39.679 No, it was such a experience. It was like a 267 00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:41.039 learning experience. 268 00:12:40.600 --> 00:12:43.559 On the job. That's how I like to learn. 269 00:12:44.080 --> 00:12:46.639 I'd prefer to learn on the job versus like sit 270 00:12:46.679 --> 00:12:47.840 in a classroom and. 271 00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:51.759 Read the books. Hands on experiential learning. 272 00:12:51.879 --> 00:12:57.000 This was a life lesson. So many life lessons on 273 00:12:58.600 --> 00:12:59.960 international television. 274 00:13:00.399 --> 00:13:03.960 Yeah, And I mean, like, how amazing though that they 275 00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:07.279 picked you, because that started this legacy like, because how 276 00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:09.159 what if you had gone on amazing race, Like do 277 00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:10.120 you ever think about that? 278 00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:13.879 I would have been the first person out. I have 279 00:13:14.039 --> 00:13:14.799 no direction. 280 00:13:15.080 --> 00:13:17.159 I'm like, get out of the subway in New York 281 00:13:17.200 --> 00:13:19.639 and immediately start walking in the opposite direction of where 282 00:13:19.639 --> 00:13:20.320 I'm supposed to go. 283 00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:23.039 I would have I have lost Reyes so fast. 284 00:13:23.120 --> 00:13:25.919 Survivor was meant for me, And I do think that 285 00:13:26.159 --> 00:13:29.879 sometimes in our lives there are moments that are destined, 286 00:13:29.919 --> 00:13:31.639 that are just woven into the. 287 00:13:31.519 --> 00:13:33.039 Fabric of our life plan. 288 00:13:33.360 --> 00:13:36.399 Yeah, and for me, and from writing the book and 289 00:13:36.519 --> 00:13:39.320 looking at my life from sort of a bird's eye view, 290 00:13:40.360 --> 00:13:45.480 Survivor is that for me? It was really a magnetic force. 291 00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:48.960 Like me and Survivor are magnets towards one another. Like 292 00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:52.759 I have the perfect skill set to do well in 293 00:13:52.799 --> 00:13:55.799 the game, and it is the perfect match for me. 294 00:13:56.039 --> 00:13:58.960 I'm so comfortable in that environment, which is so crazy, 295 00:13:59.519 --> 00:14:02.240 like it's not fun to get rained on or like 296 00:14:02.759 --> 00:14:04.720 have rats run across her chest at night? 297 00:14:04.799 --> 00:14:07.600 Oh no, I'll do it. 298 00:14:07.919 --> 00:14:08.919 Yeah. Yeah, Like if. 299 00:14:08.840 --> 00:14:11.279 You're is there any part of it that is uncomfortable? 300 00:14:11.279 --> 00:14:13.320 Like of all the things you experience, the rain, the 301 00:14:13.399 --> 00:14:16.399 rats running across your chest, which I would literally fly home, 302 00:14:16.440 --> 00:14:17.919 swim home if that happened to me. 303 00:14:18.279 --> 00:14:20.080 What is like the worst part of it? 304 00:14:20.080 --> 00:14:23.600 It's the rain, really, the rain is the worst part. 305 00:14:23.840 --> 00:14:28.240 It's so demoralizing. No, wowocks aren't that bad. I guess 306 00:14:28.279 --> 00:14:30.759 you get used to like just like I think, I 307 00:14:30.759 --> 00:14:32.919 feel like there's coping mechanisms for the bugs. 308 00:14:32.919 --> 00:14:34.919 You can put your long sleeves on, you wear your 309 00:14:34.919 --> 00:14:38.279 buff over your face at night, but there you can't 310 00:14:38.279 --> 00:14:42.039 avoid the rain, and once you get wet, it's so miserable. 311 00:14:42.799 --> 00:14:44.559 I don't know if you're allowed to answer this question, 312 00:14:44.600 --> 00:14:47.519 but like, let's say, like you get diarrhea or like 313 00:14:47.559 --> 00:14:49.559 you have a really bad heading, Like are the producers 314 00:14:49.559 --> 00:14:52.120 giving you an advil? Do you have access to maybe 315 00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:53.480 a bathroom or no. 316 00:14:53.519 --> 00:14:57.399 There's no bathroom? No okay, wow, there's no bathroom. 317 00:14:57.840 --> 00:15:02.000 So you're on your own there to have find what 318 00:15:02.080 --> 00:15:02.759 works for you. 319 00:15:03.399 --> 00:15:06.840 And I will say that coconuts are a natural laxative 320 00:15:07.080 --> 00:15:09.240 and that's the only food out there. 321 00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:12.960 Sometimes there's rice on Australians. Whoever we had rice, and 322 00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:14.679 I think winters at war we had a little rice. 323 00:15:14.919 --> 00:15:16.799 But medicine, right, if you. 324 00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:19.679 Have well, they do have medics on hand, so if 325 00:15:19.720 --> 00:15:21.799 someone has some kind of issue, they can talk to 326 00:15:21.799 --> 00:15:22.240 the medic. 327 00:15:22.799 --> 00:15:25.480 I remember on Cook Islands. This is such a weird memory, 328 00:15:25.480 --> 00:15:27.759 but I get really bad headaches and Jenny had a 329 00:15:27.799 --> 00:15:30.600 really bad headache and the one cowboy I think was 330 00:15:30.639 --> 00:15:32.879 his name, he like did something to her head like 331 00:15:32.919 --> 00:15:36.240 it was very like chiropractory and she's like, my headaches gone. 332 00:15:36.399 --> 00:15:38.840 And I literally will always remember that scene from that 333 00:15:39.000 --> 00:15:41.480 season because I as a kid, was like, do I 334 00:15:41.519 --> 00:15:44.320 have to like touch my face and like, like, you know, 335 00:15:44.399 --> 00:15:46.200 pressure my sinuses to get rid of them. 336 00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:49.279 I remember that. You remember that he pulled some kind 337 00:15:49.320 --> 00:15:50.679 of demon out. 338 00:15:50.519 --> 00:15:51.240 Of her forehead. 339 00:15:51.840 --> 00:15:53.360 It was very interesting. 340 00:15:53.159 --> 00:15:54.320 Read mark on her face. 341 00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:58.480 First days after she was liked eggs gone, but she's 342 00:15:58.519 --> 00:15:59.879 got this like red. 343 00:16:01.399 --> 00:16:04.480 So a few years later, you come back for Micronesia, 344 00:16:04.799 --> 00:16:06.840 the season you end up winning, which was epic, and 345 00:16:06.840 --> 00:16:09.039 I remember as a little kid because I was like 346 00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:11.679 your biggest fan. I had so much anxiety the first 347 00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:14.279 episode because they immediately went after you out the gate. 348 00:16:14.519 --> 00:16:17.960 You had freaking Jonathan Penner being like, we got to 349 00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:22.440 get rid of parvity immediately. But you went all the 350 00:16:22.480 --> 00:16:25.080 way to the end and you won. Do you I 351 00:16:25.080 --> 00:16:27.279 don't know if you're allowed to like pick your favorite season, 352 00:16:27.320 --> 00:16:29.759 but was that like your favorite one that you were on, 353 00:16:29.879 --> 00:16:32.240 if you could pick, or is it like picking a child, 354 00:16:32.360 --> 00:16:33.559 Like you can't choose a favorite. 355 00:16:34.000 --> 00:16:39.440 Oh yeah, it's really hard. I loved Micronesia because of 356 00:16:39.480 --> 00:16:39.919 the women. 357 00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:44.360 Yeah, and they though they were so cool. Yeah. 358 00:16:44.840 --> 00:16:51.600 It is so hard and rare to find one ally 359 00:16:51.759 --> 00:16:54.840 who you can trust and work with in these games. 360 00:16:55.039 --> 00:16:59.919 M hm, and I had four yeah, like Alexis, Natalie, 361 00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:05.480 Amanda SII, I mean the incredible and I felt like 362 00:17:05.519 --> 00:17:08.680 the stars aligned and it was just like so magical 363 00:17:09.400 --> 00:17:12.480 playing with them. That was my favorite part of that season, 364 00:17:12.799 --> 00:17:15.440 and it made it a blast. It was really stressful 365 00:17:15.440 --> 00:17:19.359 and hard because I was playing such a psychologically cutthroat 366 00:17:19.920 --> 00:17:24.079 game and I was on strategic. 367 00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:26.200 Alert, Like, h I alert the entire time. 368 00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:28.480 Do you think you play better when your back is 369 00:17:28.519 --> 00:17:30.680 sort of against the wall and like you kind of 370 00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:32.839 know that people are after you, and it like kind 371 00:17:32.839 --> 00:17:34.839 of you have to be a little more scrappy versus 372 00:17:34.839 --> 00:17:36.960 if you're like in a sense of wait, I feel 373 00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:38.839 like I'm okay, And I feel like that's when people 374 00:17:38.839 --> 00:17:41.599 get blindsided because they have this like false sense of safety. 375 00:17:43.119 --> 00:17:47.160 I have never had an experience of not having a 376 00:17:47.279 --> 00:17:48.400 back the fall. 377 00:17:49.200 --> 00:17:50.039 I don't know. 378 00:17:50.400 --> 00:17:52.920 Yeah, I definitely think you do better like but I 379 00:17:52.920 --> 00:17:55.559 think that's like the good situations because it forces you 380 00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:57.640 to really get like down and dirty and like figure 381 00:17:57.720 --> 00:17:58.039 it out. 382 00:17:58.440 --> 00:18:04.119 It makes me play a very risk forward game when 383 00:18:04.359 --> 00:18:06.759 I the pressure is on and I'm like, all right, 384 00:18:06.880 --> 00:18:10.680 I gotta throw some hail Marys and pray that this works. 385 00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:12.559 It works. 386 00:18:12.720 --> 00:18:16.240 Yeah, crazy, my head explodes, like it's amazing that the 387 00:18:16.279 --> 00:18:19.480 things that I do in these games pay off. 388 00:18:19.960 --> 00:18:21.759 Yeah, like that, like playing. 389 00:18:21.480 --> 00:18:25.119 Both my immunity idols in one go Josh. 390 00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:27.720 Like Brandon's super like you don't understand. So Brandon and 391 00:18:27.720 --> 00:18:29.519 I have been friend since we were five, Like he's 392 00:18:29.559 --> 00:18:32.039 the first grid I've ever had. Knowing that his born 393 00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:34.519 Mitzell was Survivor themed, like I knew that he was 394 00:18:34.519 --> 00:18:37.359 a Survivor fan, but living with him hit different because 395 00:18:37.400 --> 00:18:39.039 he sat me down. I think we watched like Big 396 00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:41.759 Brother once and I don't typically watch like game shows, 397 00:18:42.079 --> 00:18:43.200 and I love Big Brother. 398 00:18:43.480 --> 00:18:45.240 Maybe it was Big Brother, yeah, and you. 399 00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:46.960 Were He was like, well, if you love Big Brother, 400 00:18:47.039 --> 00:18:49.440 like you have to see Parverty and us like who's poverty. 401 00:18:49.480 --> 00:18:51.200