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Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of the Chicks on the Right

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podcast where we talk to our friend and sponsor of

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the show, Zach Abraham from Bulwark Capital Management, and we're.

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Speaker 2: Going to do a really juicy topic today.

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Speaker 1: So there was this I can't remember if it was

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Facebook or Reddit or whatever, but you know that's where

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people tell all right, And so there's this viral post

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going around where a wife apparently is asking, like, am

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I the asshole? Essentially because she took her mother's advice

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when she first got married and set up a secret

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escape fund. Now she hit separate from her husband, right,

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she doesn't work, and her husband insisted that she not work.

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Speaker 2: As a matter of fact, he wanted to be the provider.

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Speaker 1: So but her mom was like, listen, if something goes south,

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you should always take care of you and just set

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aside this like separate account and that way, you know,

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if she like makes piddley amounts of money here and there,

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or she's able to take an allowance that she gets

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from her husband, she can.

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Speaker 2: Kind of put some savings aside.

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Speaker 1: So she created this account and over the years that

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account grew to almost fifty thousand dollars. Okay, then her

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husband has like this horrible work injury, and they have

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like unbelievable medical bills. They have like this lawsuit that

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they lost a bunch.

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Speaker 2: Of money on.

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Speaker 1: And then he is now working two full time jobs

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and ubering on the weekends just to keep them afloat.

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But now all of a sudden has found out about

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this account and.

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Speaker 2: Is like, what the hell? Why have I been doing

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all this work? Why didn't you tell me about my

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new money?

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Speaker 3: Fifty grand sitting there? And she didn't tell them about it?

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Is she the assholes?

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Speaker 4: Act?

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Speaker 5: Man?

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Speaker 4: There's a lot going on there, Yeah, a Loteah.

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Speaker 2: He wants to say it's so bad, he says.

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Speaker 5: You can say so on the surface, I like, I

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sympathize with this guy because I mean I would come

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on stuck right just what the flip side is. I'd

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also look at him and go, how do you scroll

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whole fifty g's out of your account and your paycheck

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and you don't know.

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Speaker 3: That it's also true like over the I mean, I

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don't know how many years that took, but I mean

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it's years, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a lot of betrayal.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: But then I sit there and I go, Okay, well,

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why did she like, why were you so out of it?

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Speaker 4: Did she not work? You know what I mean?

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Speaker 5: Like, there's a lot here, and I look, the first

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thing I was thinking is, I think one of the

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biggest things people don't do is have money conversations right

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prior to getting married and making.

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Speaker 4: Sure that your view on those things is compatible. Right.

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Speaker 5: So, like, by the time my wife and I got married,

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we we understood, we knew exactly how the financial side

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of our relationship was going to play out, and we

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had already actually merged, uh merged everything financially at that point,

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and you have to have you know, like so so

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part of me that doesn't, like my initial reaction is

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jump on the tramp.

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Speaker 4: Yes she is the she's the a hole in this one,

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right right. But the flip side is you don't know,

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like what what like all the things that led up

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to that, right right? Yeah?

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Speaker 5: How how oppressive was he about her not working? Did

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he have her on an allowance?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 4: Did she have a reason to think she needed an

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escape fund? You know what I mean?

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Speaker 5: Like that's like God forbid, praise God for twenty one

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years of marriage and all that kind of stuff. But

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my wife knows that she doesn't need this, you know,

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like she's.

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Speaker 3: Not gonna need to escape.

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Speaker 4: She even she.

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Speaker 5: Needed to escape, right, she knows that she wouldn't need

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to escape, right like she now so part of me,

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you know, it's so hard looking at the surface, but

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on the top, on the surface of discos.

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Speaker 1: I mean, have you to add something like that come

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up in your practice, like where you've you know, somebody

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in a couple that you've been working with has said

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or you've just heard that there's like some sort of

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secret account and somebody's mad and feel the betrayed is that.

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Speaker 3: You're You're not a divorce attorney, right, But I'm sure

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that when you get into situations with couples, you probably

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see some crazy like she has this money stashed away

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or he does, or they have separate finances and they're married,

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and it's right, right.

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Speaker 4: And and that's usually where it is.

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Speaker 5: So I do see these scenarios, but usually it comes

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from one spouse thinking this spouse is contributing x amount

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of their income to the community pot and they're not.

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And they've built up other assets on the side, but

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it wasn't from the other spouse's paycheck, right, Like that's

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the other part. That's kind of odd about that. And

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then I you know, like my wife always laughed. Now

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I deal with numbers, so it's probably not a fair

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comp but my wife always laughs because I don't she

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handles our personal bill paying, but I usually know within

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like a pretty small amount, what balances we've got in

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the accounts at any given right.

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Speaker 4: Yes, And as a business you guys are like that.

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Speaker 5: As business owners, you have to know those things. So

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maybe he wasn't a business owner. He didn't know that.

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It's just I'd sit there and I'm like, fifty grand

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over a period of time.

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Speaker 1: She didn't use to help them, Like He's right, three jobs.

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Speaker 2: And she's just sitting on all this money. Oh my god,

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that's really imagine.

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Speaker 4: Are they like, are they well, what's the deal?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 4: Are they is it?

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Speaker 5: Well?

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Speaker 2: You never know what the internet stories. You never get

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to find out like what happened.

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Speaker 1: In the end, But it just it was an interesting

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sort of you know story, because it just makes you think,

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in your line of work, how often are you seeing

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people who just are not aligned when it comes to

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their finances? Because you know, Amy, Joe and I operate

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the same way where we take care of the finances

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in our respective households, and it's very open, like my.

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Speaker 2: Husband knows every penny, I know everybody, you know what

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I mean. There's no secrets about money.

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Speaker 3: And we've always and in my house it's always been,

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you know, whenever. When we got married, my husband and

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I were like, Okay, it's one big pot, and there

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are going to be times where I may be making

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more than you, or you're making more than me, or

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I'm I don't want to work, or you don't you know,

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I mean, like or what if one of us gets sick.

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I mean, like that's you just don't know what's going

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to happen in a lifetime or a marriage where that

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the whole point is for better or for worse, for

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richer for poorer, Like you're in it.

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Speaker 2: You're in it to win it together.

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Speaker 3: Like to me, it's like a big pot and you

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contribute together because you're a team.

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Speaker 4: And so I just can say that.

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Speaker 3: Yet I don't understand the non team mentality where it's

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like I'm over here and you're over here and you

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have your money and I have my money, and that,

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to me, that's not a marriage. And so when you

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see that and a lot of these these couples. I

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don't get that. I feel like you're setting yourself up

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to fail, like, not just financially, but maritally.

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Speaker 4: No, I couldn't agree more.

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Speaker 5: And and I was actually just talking to my team,

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you know, the football coach, and we can't help myself.

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I was using analogies from the Seahawks when and some

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different things. We were just having a meeting this morning.

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But but it goes right into this, which is, if

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you tell me that, my next interest, my next question

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to you guys is how's your intimate life? How close

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are you guys? Because because if your finances are separate,

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you cannot convince me that there's another part of your

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relationship and probably intimacy and the inner relationships, sex life.

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Speaker 4: It's paying a cost.

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Speaker 5: I guarantee you what's paying a cost because there's a

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level of intimacy that isn't there right just period.

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Speaker 4: I know I'm taking care of mine over here.

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Speaker 5: You don't think that's going to get reflected in the

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in the relationship You're stealing from yourself is what you're you.

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Speaker 2: Know, Yeah, it's such a great way to put it.

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Speaker 5: I'm sorry you're not coming out ahead in that scenario,

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regardless of.

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Speaker 4: What you think.

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Speaker 3: I wish I could give it and solve mysteries, update

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on this couple and find out whether they're divorced. Now

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I kind of feel like they are, you know, I

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don't know how you recover from that.

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Speaker 4: I don't know. That's like financial infidelity. Yeah, it's like

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financial infidelity, you know.

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Speaker 5: And then that's but that's what I was saying, is

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not jumping on you know, like with you know, no,

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that's not true infidelities.

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Speaker 4: There's never an excuse. But like you just, I don't.

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Speaker 5: I always hesitate to jump on one side, especially when

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it's a woman in the relationship, because I feel like

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he could be so well he worked and she stayed

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at home, and you're like, well yeah, but why right,

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like and how oppressive was that and how under the

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thumb you know.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, on the surface of it, I mean I.

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Speaker 2: Would, yeah, And I get that.

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Speaker 1: I get the advice from the mom, Like you know,

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as a mom, you're like, take care of you, make

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sure that you're always protected in case he up and

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leaves you someday.

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Speaker 2: You don't want to have nothing.

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Speaker 1: I get it, But like, what a what a message

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to send your daughter off into a marriage with like

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you should be distrustful and have a justin case fund,

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you know what I mean.

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Speaker 4: If you think you need one. And if you think

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you need one, why are we getting married? Exactly? Exactly,

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And that's that's my biggest thing, Like.

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Speaker 2: We rethink the marriage, right.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and well and like any team, right, we talk

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about on teams, buying commitment, all that kind of stuff.

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You've already got one foot out mm hm, you know

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what I mean, Like we're out of the gate when

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we should be at our best, like the easiest part

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of marriage, right, the first Well, you work some things

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out right, the boat, the wedding. If we've already got

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one foot out the door there, what's it going to

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look like after three kids in fifteen years?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 4: Exactly?

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Speaker 5: Probably not good. You've probably become a national story on Reddit.

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Speaker 1: There we are, and then you end up talking about

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it with your like favorite financial sponsor and things get weird.

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Speaker 2: There it is there, it.

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Speaker 3: Is right there, the trans the transition.

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Speaker 4: That's it.

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Speaker 1: The transition obviously is that we have a financial advisor

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who actually will talk about sex with this on his

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podcast episode. So yes, why would you not want more

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information from Zach, where can we find that?

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Speaker 4: Zach?

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Speaker 5: Well for financial and sex education to Bulwark Capitalmanagement dot

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com Know Your Risk Podcast. We do not actually talk

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about sex relationships on New York and Know Your Risk Podcast, but.

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Speaker 3: Totally here here only.

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Speaker 5: No, you guys don't have to saying like it's so silly.

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You hear people make these comments. Sometimes you're like, yeah,

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I bet your intimate life's a real banger.

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Speaker 4: You know what I mean. You're like, come on, dude,

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you know anyway?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, But Bulwark Capitalmanagement dot Com, Know Your Risk podcast

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dot Com, We're not hard to find.

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Speaker 2: Love it perfect, Thank you, Zach.

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Speaker 5: Investment advisory services offered through Trek Financial LLC and SEC

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Registered Investment Advisor. The opinions expressed in this programmer for

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general informational purposes only, and are not intended to provide

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specific advisor recommendations for any individual or on any specific security.

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Any references to performance of security so are thought to

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be materially accurate, and actual performance may differ.

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Speaker 4: Investments involve risk and are not guaranteed.

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Speaker 5: Past performance doesn't guarantee future results.

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Speaker 4: Track twenty four to three zero eight