Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of the Chicks on the Right
podcast where we talk to our friend and sponsor of
the show, Zach Abraham from Bulwark Capital Management, and we're.
Speaker 2: Going to do a really juicy topic today.
Speaker 1: So there was this I can't remember if it was
Facebook or Reddit or whatever, but you know that's where
people tell all right, And so there's this viral post
going around where a wife apparently is asking, like, am
I the asshole? Essentially because she took her mother's advice
when she first got married and set up a secret
escape fund. Now she hit separate from her husband, right,
she doesn't work, and her husband insisted that she not work.
Speaker 2: As a matter of fact, he wanted to be the provider.
Speaker 1: So but her mom was like, listen, if something goes south,
you should always take care of you and just set
aside this like separate account and that way, you know,
if she like makes piddley amounts of money here and there,
or she's able to take an allowance that she gets
from her husband, she can.
Speaker 2: Kind of put some savings aside.
Speaker 1: So she created this account and over the years that
account grew to almost fifty thousand dollars. Okay, then her
husband has like this horrible work injury, and they have
like unbelievable medical bills. They have like this lawsuit that
they lost a bunch.
Speaker 2: Of money on.
Speaker 1: And then he is now working two full time jobs
and ubering on the weekends just to keep them afloat.
But now all of a sudden has found out about
this account and.
Speaker 2: Is like, what the hell? Why have I been doing
all this work? Why didn't you tell me about my
new money?
Speaker 3: Fifty grand sitting there? And she didn't tell them about it?
Is she the assholes?
Speaker 4: Act?
Speaker 5: Man?
Speaker 4: There's a lot going on there, Yeah, a Loteah.
Speaker 2: He wants to say it's so bad, he says.
Speaker 5: You can say so on the surface, I like, I
sympathize with this guy because I mean I would come
on stuck right just what the flip side is. I'd
also look at him and go, how do you scroll
whole fifty g's out of your account and your paycheck
and you don't know.
Speaker 3: That it's also true like over the I mean, I
don't know how many years that took, but I mean
it's years, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a lot of betrayal.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: But then I sit there and I go, Okay, well,
why did she like, why were you so out of it?
Speaker 4: Did she not work? You know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Like, there's a lot here, and I look, the first
thing I was thinking is, I think one of the
biggest things people don't do is have money conversations right
prior to getting married and making.
Speaker 4: Sure that your view on those things is compatible. Right.
Speaker 5: So, like, by the time my wife and I got married,
we we understood, we knew exactly how the financial side
of our relationship was going to play out, and we
had already actually merged, uh merged everything financially at that point,
and you have to have you know, like so so
part of me that doesn't, like my initial reaction is
jump on the tramp.
Speaker 4: Yes she is the she's the a hole in this one,
right right. But the flip side is you don't know,
like what what like all the things that led up
to that, right right? Yeah?
Speaker 5: How how oppressive was he about her not working? Did
he have her on an allowance?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 4: Did she have a reason to think she needed an
escape fund? You know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Like that's like God forbid, praise God for twenty one
years of marriage and all that kind of stuff. But
my wife knows that she doesn't need this, you know,
like she's.
Speaker 3: Not gonna need to escape.
Speaker 4: She even she.
Speaker 5: Needed to escape, right, she knows that she wouldn't need
to escape, right like she now so part of me,
you know, it's so hard looking at the surface, but
on the top, on the surface of discos.
Speaker 1: I mean, have you to add something like that come
up in your practice, like where you've you know, somebody
in a couple that you've been working with has said
or you've just heard that there's like some sort of
secret account and somebody's mad and feel the betrayed is that.
Speaker 3: You're You're not a divorce attorney, right, But I'm sure
that when you get into situations with couples, you probably
see some crazy like she has this money stashed away
or he does, or they have separate finances and they're married,
and it's right, right.
Speaker 4: And and that's usually where it is.
Speaker 5: So I do see these scenarios, but usually it comes
from one spouse thinking this spouse is contributing x amount
of their income to the community pot and they're not.
And they've built up other assets on the side, but
it wasn't from the other spouse's paycheck, right, Like that's
the other part. That's kind of odd about that. And
then I you know, like my wife always laughed. Now
I deal with numbers, so it's probably not a fair
comp but my wife always laughs because I don't she
handles our personal bill paying, but I usually know within
like a pretty small amount, what balances we've got in
the accounts at any given right.
Speaker 4: Yes, And as a business you guys are like that.
Speaker 5: As business owners, you have to know those things. So
maybe he wasn't a business owner. He didn't know that.
It's just I'd sit there and I'm like, fifty grand
over a period of time.
Speaker 1: She didn't use to help them, Like He's right, three jobs.
Speaker 2: And she's just sitting on all this money. Oh my god,
that's really imagine.
Speaker 4: Are they like, are they well, what's the deal?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 4: Are they is it?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 2: You never know what the internet stories. You never get
to find out like what happened.
Speaker 1: In the end, But it just it was an interesting
sort of you know story, because it just makes you think,
in your line of work, how often are you seeing
people who just are not aligned when it comes to
their finances? Because you know, Amy, Joe and I operate
the same way where we take care of the finances
in our respective households, and it's very open, like my.
Speaker 2: Husband knows every penny, I know everybody, you know what
I mean. There's no secrets about money.
Speaker 3: And we've always and in my house it's always been,
you know, whenever. When we got married, my husband and
I were like, Okay, it's one big pot, and there
are going to be times where I may be making
more than you, or you're making more than me, or
I'm I don't want to work, or you don't you know,
I mean, like or what if one of us gets sick.
I mean, like that's you just don't know what's going
to happen in a lifetime or a marriage where that
the whole point is for better or for worse, for
richer for poorer, Like you're in it.
Speaker 2: You're in it to win it together.
Speaker 3: Like to me, it's like a big pot and you
contribute together because you're a team.
Speaker 4: And so I just can say that.
Speaker 3: Yet I don't understand the non team mentality where it's
like I'm over here and you're over here and you
have your money and I have my money, and that,
to me, that's not a marriage. And so when you
see that and a lot of these these couples. I
don't get that. I feel like you're setting yourself up
to fail, like, not just financially, but maritally.
Speaker 4: No, I couldn't agree more.
Speaker 5: And and I was actually just talking to my team,
you know, the football coach, and we can't help myself.
I was using analogies from the Seahawks when and some
different things. We were just having a meeting this morning.
But but it goes right into this, which is, if
you tell me that, my next interest, my next question
to you guys is how's your intimate life? How close
are you guys? Because because if your finances are separate,
you cannot convince me that there's another part of your
relationship and probably intimacy and the inner relationships, sex life.
Speaker 4: It's paying a cost.
Speaker 5: I guarantee you what's paying a cost because there's a
level of intimacy that isn't there right just period.
Speaker 4: I know I'm taking care of mine over here.
Speaker 5: You don't think that's going to get reflected in the
in the relationship You're stealing from yourself is what you're you.
Speaker 2: Know, Yeah, it's such a great way to put it.
Speaker 5: I'm sorry you're not coming out ahead in that scenario,
regardless of.
Speaker 4: What you think.
Speaker 3: I wish I could give it and solve mysteries, update
on this couple and find out whether they're divorced. Now
I kind of feel like they are, you know, I
don't know how you recover from that.
Speaker 4: I don't know. That's like financial infidelity. Yeah, it's like
financial infidelity, you know.
Speaker 5: And then that's but that's what I was saying, is
not jumping on you know, like with you know, no,
that's not true infidelities.
Speaker 4: There's never an excuse. But like you just, I don't.
Speaker 5: I always hesitate to jump on one side, especially when
it's a woman in the relationship, because I feel like
he could be so well he worked and she stayed
at home, and you're like, well yeah, but why right,
like and how oppressive was that and how under the
thumb you know.
Speaker 4: But yeah, on the surface of it, I mean I.
Speaker 2: Would, yeah, And I get that.
Speaker 1: I get the advice from the mom, Like you know,
as a mom, you're like, take care of you, make
sure that you're always protected in case he up and
leaves you someday.
Speaker 2: You don't want to have nothing.
Speaker 1: I get it, But like, what a what a message
to send your daughter off into a marriage with like
you should be distrustful and have a justin case fund,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: If you think you need one. And if you think
you need one, why are we getting married? Exactly? Exactly,
And that's that's my biggest thing, Like.
Speaker 2: We rethink the marriage, right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and well and like any team, right, we talk
about on teams, buying commitment, all that kind of stuff.
You've already got one foot out mm hm, you know
what I mean, Like we're out of the gate when
we should be at our best, like the easiest part
of marriage, right, the first Well, you work some things
out right, the boat, the wedding. If we've already got
one foot out the door there, what's it going to
look like after three kids in fifteen years?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 4: Exactly?
Speaker 5: Probably not good. You've probably become a national story on Reddit.
Speaker 1: There we are, and then you end up talking about
it with your like favorite financial sponsor and things get weird.
Speaker 2: There it is there, it.
Speaker 3: Is right there, the trans the transition.
Speaker 4: That's it.
Speaker 1: The transition obviously is that we have a financial advisor
who actually will talk about sex with this on his
podcast episode. So yes, why would you not want more
information from Zach, where can we find that?
Speaker 4: Zach?
Speaker 5: Well for financial and sex education to Bulwark Capitalmanagement dot
com Know Your Risk Podcast. We do not actually talk
about sex relationships on New York and Know Your Risk Podcast, but.
Speaker 3: Totally here here only.
Speaker 5: No, you guys don't have to saying like it's so silly.
You hear people make these comments. Sometimes you're like, yeah,
I bet your intimate life's a real banger.
Speaker 4: You know what I mean. You're like, come on, dude,
you know anyway?
Speaker 5: Yeah, But Bulwark Capitalmanagement dot Com, Know Your Risk podcast
dot Com, We're not hard to find.
Speaker 2: Love it perfect, Thank you, Zach.
Speaker 5: Investment advisory services offered through Trek Financial LLC and SEC
Registered Investment Advisor. The opinions expressed in this programmer for
general informational purposes only, and are not intended to provide
specific advisor recommendations for any individual or on any specific security.
Any references to performance of security so are thought to
be materially accurate, and actual performance may differ.
Speaker 4: Investments involve risk and are not guaranteed.
Speaker 5: Past performance doesn't guarantee future results.
Speaker 4: Track twenty four to three zero eight