WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:02.879 Karen. Yes, you know how I'm always telling you that 2 00:00:02.960 --> 00:00:07.280 I really need to meditate more. Yes, and it's usually 3 00:00:07.400 --> 00:00:09.000 right after I've had my third cup of coffee of 4 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:09.240 the day. 5 00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:13.480 Right, it's right after, like you go to bed at night, 6 00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:15.119 when it's too late to meditate for the day. 7 00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:17.600 You're saying, I tell you that right after I go 8 00:00:17.679 --> 00:00:18.519 to bed at night. 9 00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:20.320 Yeah, I always say go to sleep. 10 00:00:20.320 --> 00:00:21.000 I said, go to bed. 11 00:00:21.039 --> 00:00:23.679 Oh, make me awake in bed. Well, I think today's 12 00:00:23.679 --> 00:00:26.519 guests might actually be able to finally get me to 13 00:00:26.600 --> 00:00:28.760 stick to a meditation routine. 14 00:00:28.960 --> 00:00:30.480 Oh, then that means there's hope for me too. 15 00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:33.119 I'm not sure about that. But you see, our guest 16 00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:36.119 this week is a licensed clinical social worker with over 17 00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:39.280 twenty five years of experience. But here's a kicker. She's 18 00:00:39.280 --> 00:00:42.479 on a mission to get everyone in the world to 19 00:00:42.600 --> 00:00:45.240 meditate and actually enjoy it. 20 00:00:45.320 --> 00:00:46.679 Is that a mission impossible? 21 00:00:48.039 --> 00:00:49.359 You know what? In the edit, I'm going to have 22 00:00:49.359 --> 00:01:05.120 to put in the mission. With so many meditation teachers 23 00:01:05.159 --> 00:01:09.400 out there are so super chill and relaxed, this week's 24 00:01:09.439 --> 00:01:13.120 guests may not be the person you would usually associate 25 00:01:13.159 --> 00:01:13.760 with meditation. 26 00:01:14.079 --> 00:01:14.480 I like that. 27 00:01:14.760 --> 00:01:17.400 Yeah, see, she's got this super engaging, no nonsense and 28 00:01:17.560 --> 00:01:21.159 often hilarious way of teaching people how to meditate. And 29 00:01:21.239 --> 00:01:26.040 she says, there's nothing better for you except maybe water. Okay, 30 00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:26.959 and you know I hate water. 31 00:01:27.200 --> 00:01:29.000 I know you feel like you're drowning when you drink. 32 00:01:29.920 --> 00:01:31.959 Well, have you been having a difficult time sticking to 33 00:01:32.040 --> 00:01:34.840 a meditation routine, then this might just be the episode 34 00:01:34.840 --> 00:01:38.000 you've been waiting for. Because once this episode is done, 35 00:01:38.159 --> 00:01:40.319 you're gonna want to run to your couch, your matt, 36 00:01:40.439 --> 00:01:43.799 your chair, definitely, though not your bed. We'll explain that why, 37 00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:46.040 so that you can start your practice right away. This 38 00:01:46.319 --> 00:01:51.000 is a skeptic metaphysicians. My name is Will and I'mars, 39 00:01:51.040 --> 00:01:53.799 and unlike moulderin Scully, we both want to believe. So 40 00:01:53.840 --> 00:01:55.599 we've embarked in a journey of discovery. 41 00:01:55.680 --> 00:01:58.239 We've talked to people deeply entrenched in the spiritual and 42 00:01:58.280 --> 00:01:59.120 metaphysical world. 43 00:01:59.159 --> 00:02:02.480 We've thrown ourselves to weird and wonderful experiences. I even 44 00:02:02.519 --> 00:02:03.200 joined a coven of. 45 00:02:03.200 --> 00:02:06.319 Witches and wait, you joined a coven yep. 46 00:02:06.319 --> 00:02:09.439 All the interests of finding something, anything that will prove 47 00:02:09.479 --> 00:02:11.680 that there's something beyond this physical. 48 00:02:11.319 --> 00:02:12.960 Three dimensional world we all live in. 49 00:02:13.159 --> 00:02:28.639 This is the skeptic medsians. Hey there, I'm Will and 50 00:02:28.639 --> 00:02:30.560 I'm caring, and today we got one of the most 51 00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:33.199 delightful personalities you'll ever get the chance to meet on 52 00:02:33.240 --> 00:02:36.240 our show. As a licensed clinical social worker, she's got 53 00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:42.680 over twenty five years of experience and has provided counseling, coaching, workshops, 54 00:02:42.759 --> 00:02:46.599 hypnotherapy and meditation classes and retreats as part of her 55 00:02:46.599 --> 00:02:51.240 own private psychotherapy practice for the past seventeen years now. 56 00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:54.159 She believes that meditation is key to healthy living, so 57 00:02:54.240 --> 00:02:56.879 her mission is to teach as many people as possible 58 00:02:56.960 --> 00:02:59.120 not only how to meditate, but how to make it 59 00:02:59.120 --> 00:03:01.319 a habit asks a lifetime. 60 00:03:01.599 --> 00:03:02.120 That's the key. 61 00:03:02.840 --> 00:03:06.919 In a straightforward, no nonsense, highly engaging, in often humorous way, 62 00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:10.240 She's taught thousands of people how to meditate and keep 63 00:03:10.319 --> 00:03:13.439 meditating day in and day out. There is hope for 64 00:03:13.560 --> 00:03:16.120 both of us. Karen, Welcome to the show. V Stress 65 00:03:16.159 --> 00:03:18.680 therapists herself, Sherry Flake. Sherry, how you doing? 66 00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:23.560 Yeah? That? Wow, I'm doing great. How y'all do it? 67 00:03:23.680 --> 00:03:28.080 Sherry? You are are obi Wan, You're last best hope. 68 00:03:28.520 --> 00:03:32.879 We are terrible at We love meditating. Yeah, we don't know, Yeah, 69 00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:35.080 we do love meditating. But we can't keep it up. 70 00:03:35.159 --> 00:03:40.639 It's so hard, right, I know, So help us, obi wan, 71 00:03:40.759 --> 00:03:43.360 how can we maintain meditation practice? 72 00:03:43.479 --> 00:03:45.680 Okay? I have about a thousand ideas. 73 00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:48.879 Okay, well we only got a well got about forty 74 00:03:48.879 --> 00:03:49.639 five minutes, so. 75 00:03:49.840 --> 00:03:52.560 Talk fast, Okay, I'll bring up the most important ones. Okay. 76 00:03:52.560 --> 00:03:56.639 So first off, the thing that's well, first of all, 77 00:03:56.719 --> 00:04:00.719 I mean, we all know, nothing magical happens on January first, Okay. 78 00:04:01.080 --> 00:04:03.439 I often get called on these TV shows to talk 79 00:04:03.439 --> 00:04:07.080 about healthy habits, you know, during the you know, New Year, 80 00:04:07.280 --> 00:04:09.319 and how to make habits stick and that kind of thing. 81 00:04:09.319 --> 00:04:10.840 And I did do that for a good long time, 82 00:04:10.919 --> 00:04:13.560 you know, and until I realized that the only habit 83 00:04:13.599 --> 00:04:17.120 we really need is to meditate every day. If we 84 00:04:17.160 --> 00:04:21.639 can swing that, then you know, life just kind of 85 00:04:21.680 --> 00:04:24.160 falls into place. And so when I watched this with 86 00:04:24.199 --> 00:04:26.199 my clients, I was like, oh my gosh, I can't 87 00:04:26.639 --> 00:04:28.720 just be teaching how to make running a habit. I 88 00:04:28.759 --> 00:04:31.120 can't just be teaching how to eat carrots instead a 89 00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:33.240 birthday cake at the birthday party, Like I need to 90 00:04:33.240 --> 00:04:35.959 teach meditation all the time. And then those things kind 91 00:04:35.959 --> 00:04:38.480 of fall into place. And one of the coolest things 92 00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:41.160 about meditation is that. I mean, first of all, come on, 93 00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:43.800 like all the habits were supposed to be doing. Like 94 00:04:44.160 --> 00:04:45.839 I mean, I was listening to a comic the other day. 95 00:04:45.839 --> 00:04:47.360 I don't remember who it was, but he said something 96 00:04:47.480 --> 00:04:49.360 like I feel like a babysit myself all day, Like 97 00:04:49.639 --> 00:04:52.319 I'm supposed to drink this, I'm supposed to take that vitamin, 98 00:04:52.360 --> 00:04:55.000 and I'm so simp going wrong. 99 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:56.480 I don't beat you sit myself at. 100 00:04:56.360 --> 00:05:00.879 All at all. Like we're not very very good at 101 00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:03.040 the regular habits right. 102 00:05:03.000 --> 00:05:05.600 I'm don feeling very good bigby sitting right. 103 00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:11.800 Right, Like meditation show is extra hard because we're taking 104 00:05:11.839 --> 00:05:14.800 our ego out of it, Okay. And so if you 105 00:05:14.920 --> 00:05:18.199 want to, like say I I mean, back in the 106 00:05:18.279 --> 00:05:21.240 day when it was popular to have like a popular 107 00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:24.360 YouTube video, it was a different definition, but my most 108 00:05:24.399 --> 00:05:27.199 popular one was how to make running a habit? And 109 00:05:27.279 --> 00:05:29.839 I'm not a runner. My man's a runner. There's tons 110 00:05:29.839 --> 00:05:31.720 of runners out there, and I just kept seeing people 111 00:05:31.800 --> 00:05:34.199 over and over, you know, talk about it. And if 112 00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:36.000 you want to make running a habit, I mean, you 113 00:05:36.040 --> 00:05:38.120 can use your ego to get your ass out there, 114 00:05:38.199 --> 00:05:40.000 you know what I mean, Like you can be like, Okay, 115 00:05:40.120 --> 00:05:42.920 I'm gonna get new shoes, I'm gonna buy a new 116 00:05:42.959 --> 00:05:46.199 T shirt. I'm gonna know my neighbors. I'm gonna lose weight, 117 00:05:46.240 --> 00:05:48.360 I'm gonna bring my dogs. It's gonna be so. I mean, 118 00:05:48.399 --> 00:05:49.959 it's gonna be so man. I mean, I'm gonna be 119 00:05:49.959 --> 00:05:52.079 more with nature. I mean, there's a million ways to 120 00:05:52.120 --> 00:05:55.399 bring your ego into it. Because remember, our ego identity 121 00:05:55.800 --> 00:05:58.879 is just who we think we are, right, how we identify, 122 00:05:59.199 --> 00:06:01.879 how we would explain who we are when we go 123 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:05.199 to meditate. We don't get to use that, you know, 124 00:06:05.560 --> 00:06:09.120 so we're pushing that away, and so our egos get 125 00:06:09.199 --> 00:06:12.959 a little bit louder at first. Now I will say 126 00:06:13.160 --> 00:06:15.000 that a long time ago, I'm just like you man, 127 00:06:15.079 --> 00:06:16.639 like that. That's why I can teach people how to 128 00:06:16.680 --> 00:06:18.360 do this, because I was like, what have you seen me? 129 00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:20.959 I spin like a top like this is me, This 130 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:23.319 is me on meditation, you know what I'm saying. Like, 131 00:06:23.399 --> 00:06:26.240 I mean, I was like a total complete mess. I 132 00:06:26.279 --> 00:06:29.360 was like an impulsive mess. And I did talk to 133 00:06:29.399 --> 00:06:33.160 a month years ago who said, you know, Sherry, you 134 00:06:33.240 --> 00:06:37.879 are gonna look to your cushion one day and with 135 00:06:38.399 --> 00:06:45.079 joy and anticipation. I was like, yeah, right, I did 136 00:06:45.079 --> 00:06:48.240 not believe that, but it's actually true if you can 137 00:06:48.319 --> 00:06:52.560 trick your brain into thinking that you're not meditating, okay, 138 00:06:52.600 --> 00:06:56.519 and if you can understand what's going on with your ego, 139 00:06:56.959 --> 00:06:59.120 and the coolest thing about meditation is the more you 140 00:06:59.160 --> 00:07:02.040 do it, the more where you're able to separate yourself 141 00:07:02.600 --> 00:07:07.360 right from the listener, right the actual because there's not 142 00:07:07.480 --> 00:07:10.199 one of you, there are two of you. And if 143 00:07:10.240 --> 00:07:13.040 you don't believe me, have you ever been mad at yourself? 144 00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:17.000 Have you ever been in an argument with yourself? There 145 00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:17.879 has to be two of you. 146 00:07:18.120 --> 00:07:20.279 Full disclosure, I'm a Gemini. There's many of me. 147 00:07:21.240 --> 00:07:25.639 Pro'bly like four. Okay. When you said it in like water, 148 00:07:25.759 --> 00:07:29.519 I was thinking, is he a Pisce's? My mom doesn't 149 00:07:29.560 --> 00:07:31.800 like water and sheese a pisces. It's really weird. But yeah, 150 00:07:31.879 --> 00:07:35.000 if you learn a couple of tricks to get the 151 00:07:35.279 --> 00:07:37.720 upper hand on your ego, then it becomes like any 152 00:07:37.720 --> 00:07:41.199 other habit. Where is you're just trying to make it normal, right, 153 00:07:41.240 --> 00:07:43.600 You're just trying to make it normal right now. The 154 00:07:43.720 --> 00:07:47.079 number one reason why meditation is not regular something that 155 00:07:47.120 --> 00:07:50.199 you do every single day without stress, procrastination or excuses 156 00:07:50.639 --> 00:07:56.000 is because it's negotiable. Okay, if it's like I don't know, 157 00:07:56.120 --> 00:07:59.680 I'm a parent, so in you guys are parents. Remember 158 00:07:59.680 --> 00:08:01.360 when your kid was like I don't want to wear 159 00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:03.519 a seatbelt. You were like, too bad, Like this is 160 00:08:03.560 --> 00:08:07.040 what's happening, Like it's not negotiable, right, But then when 161 00:08:07.079 --> 00:08:12.439 broccoli came around, you were like, well it became negotiable, 162 00:08:12.480 --> 00:08:14.720 and then broccli was out of the picture, was over. 163 00:08:14.920 --> 00:08:17.279 You know what I mean. Because you're allowing it to 164 00:08:17.319 --> 00:08:21.480 be negotiable. It's something that you're kind of planning on doing, 165 00:08:22.120 --> 00:08:24.680 you know, and so there's a there's a million points 166 00:08:24.680 --> 00:08:27.279 to it. So it's kind of like, let's say that 167 00:08:27.439 --> 00:08:31.120 you're gonna come to my birthday party, okay, and on 168 00:08:31.240 --> 00:08:35.720 the way there, you're thinking, maybe I'll have cake, maybe 169 00:08:35.799 --> 00:08:36.320 I won't. 170 00:08:36.639 --> 00:08:42.240 You're gonna have cake, Okay, I'm gonna. I don't care 171 00:08:42.279 --> 00:08:44.200 what I say to myself. I'm gonna have cake. 172 00:08:45.240 --> 00:08:47.200 I get it. I used to have a birthday cake problem. 173 00:08:47.360 --> 00:08:51.000 I get That's why I'm using example. I'm just like you, man, 174 00:08:51.159 --> 00:08:53.240 if you are sitting there going there's no way I'm 175 00:08:53.279 --> 00:08:54.919 gonna be able to meditate every single day for the 176 00:08:54.919 --> 00:08:56.519 rest of my bla blah blah blah. I'm telling you 177 00:08:56.639 --> 00:08:58.639 that was me. Okay. I was in a change your 178 00:08:58.720 --> 00:09:01.679 die situation. Though I was like the most unhealthy person 179 00:09:01.720 --> 00:09:04.519 in the all world. I had to figure something out, Okay. 180 00:09:04.679 --> 00:09:06.879 So I had to figure out how to do it. Okay. 181 00:09:06.919 --> 00:09:09.000 And so I'm with you. If you're like birthday cake, 182 00:09:09.039 --> 00:09:11.480 I get it, Okay. But if you say to yourself, 183 00:09:11.840 --> 00:09:15.600 I am not having birthday cake and you tell Karen 184 00:09:16.399 --> 00:09:17.840 I'm not having birthday cake. 185 00:09:18.120 --> 00:09:22.960 I'm having birthday cake, Careen, Oh yes, I'm here for you. 186 00:09:23.559 --> 00:09:27.879 Okay, you have to You're not gonna have birthday cake. 187 00:09:28.759 --> 00:09:31.000 You know what I mean, You're not gonna have it. 188 00:09:31.080 --> 00:09:34.799 And Plus, when people talk about meditating, they're like, oh, well, 189 00:09:35.480 --> 00:09:37.960 I mean, if I could make one billboard, it was 190 00:09:37.960 --> 00:09:39.720 really cool Atlanta tude. For a long time I had 191 00:09:39.720 --> 00:09:44.159 a billboard. It was the coolest. Just said stressed and like, 192 00:09:44.320 --> 00:09:47.399 I mean, I was busy anyway. But if I can 193 00:09:47.480 --> 00:09:50.360 have one billboard out there in the beautiful I live 194 00:09:50.360 --> 00:09:52.960 in Atlanta, it would just say if you would like 195 00:09:53.000 --> 00:09:56.039 to change something about yourself, anything, it doesn't matter what 196 00:09:56.120 --> 00:09:59.399 it is. You have to feel good about it. Okay, 197 00:09:59.639 --> 00:10:02.240 we're way too obsessed with feeling bad about what we're 198 00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:05.360 not working on, about bad about what we're not doing about, 199 00:10:05.399 --> 00:10:08.840 bad about what we should do, shooting on ourselves all 200 00:10:08.879 --> 00:10:11.799 the time, rather than feeling good about what we're working on. 201 00:10:12.159 --> 00:10:14.960 That's where it is. That's it. There's no everyone's trying 202 00:10:14.960 --> 00:10:17.200 to get to some magical finish line. That's not it. 203 00:10:17.279 --> 00:10:19.320 This is the journey. There's no way to happen is 204 00:10:19.360 --> 00:10:22.320 you're on the journey to it. I meaness is the way. 205 00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:24.720 Like so it sounds cheesy, but I'm just saying, so 206 00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:26.360 how do you get started? 207 00:10:26.360 --> 00:10:29.000 Because I I love meditating. I want to sit there, 208 00:10:29.039 --> 00:10:31.440 and I still just don't do it. 209 00:10:32.080 --> 00:10:32.279 You know. 210 00:10:32.360 --> 00:10:33.799 It's like, Okay, I don't go to the gym, and 211 00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:38.799 I understand why I don't go to the gym, Yeah, but. 212 00:10:38.759 --> 00:10:39.919 I still don't do it all the time. 213 00:10:39.919 --> 00:10:41.200 I don't know what my game is. 214 00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:43.360 So a couple points there. The reason why I'm going 215 00:10:43.360 --> 00:10:46.080 to the gym is because my trainer, Anthony is sitting 216 00:10:46.120 --> 00:10:48.759 there waiting for me every Monday and Thursday at nine thirty. 217 00:10:49.480 --> 00:10:54.519 Anthony Anthony, he is a super badass. He's at workout 218 00:10:54.519 --> 00:10:57.639 anytime in Atlanta. But anyway, that's why he's there. So 219 00:10:57.679 --> 00:11:00.519 the accountability again is there. And there there's a mind 220 00:11:00.559 --> 00:11:03.279 body app for people who go to yoga or kickboxing 221 00:11:03.360 --> 00:11:05.720 or whatever where you already pay you took someone's spot. 222 00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:07.840 I mean that app knows what time it is according 223 00:11:07.879 --> 00:11:11.120 to habits, right. But I'm going to tell you a 224 00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:13.559 little something that David g taught me, which is one 225 00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:16.399 of my teachers, and he nails it with this. It's 226 00:11:16.440 --> 00:11:19.679 like like all of us that work in this business, 227 00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:22.720 we're trying to articulate, and he just nails it. He says, 228 00:11:23.600 --> 00:11:31.639 rise p meditate. Okay, it's not rise pee, look at 229 00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:33.440 your phone, let the dogs out, make a cup of coffee, 230 00:11:33.480 --> 00:11:35.840 read the paper, and maybe that meditation thing will happen later. 231 00:11:35.879 --> 00:11:42.720 We'll come back. It's rise pe meditate, rise pe meditate. 232 00:11:42.799 --> 00:11:44.879 And everybody wants to tell me why they can't do that. 233 00:11:45.519 --> 00:11:48.039 Well, it has to order, right, because otherwise, you know, 234 00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:49.440 we don't want to pee, rise. 235 00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:51.519 And meditate or right. That's not good. 236 00:11:53.279 --> 00:11:56.399 That sounds great. However, here's the thing, and of course 237 00:11:56.399 --> 00:11:58.759 it's going to be a here's a thing because there's. 238 00:11:58.600 --> 00:12:01.679 So many things. I get it right, call me lots. 239 00:12:02.440 --> 00:12:04.480 There's so many things I can't do that. 240 00:12:04.679 --> 00:12:09.799 We are so sleep deprived. So we rise, pee, meditate 241 00:12:10.919 --> 00:12:14.559 very succinctly fall right the flip to sleep right. So 242 00:12:15.200 --> 00:12:19.360 I need to rise, pee, take a shower, shave, get dressed, 243 00:12:19.360 --> 00:12:23.000 go downstairs, make my coffee, check my email, eat my breakfast, 244 00:12:23.080 --> 00:12:25.440 sit down, take the kid to the school, come back, 245 00:12:25.799 --> 00:12:29.000 finish my email, finish my coffee. Then meditate and then 246 00:12:29.440 --> 00:12:30.879 oh crap, I got a meeting in five minutes. 247 00:12:30.960 --> 00:12:32.919 I know you can't. That's not going to work. But 248 00:12:33.039 --> 00:12:35.720 imagine if you just woke up five minutes earlier and 249 00:12:35.759 --> 00:12:37.559 you didn't look at your phone or do any of 250 00:12:37.559 --> 00:12:39.919 those things. See, one of the things is is that 251 00:12:39.960 --> 00:12:42.879 when we meditate, we are trying to move our brain 252 00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:48.080 waves into a different state without falling asleep. So meditation, 253 00:12:48.399 --> 00:12:50.279 I'm a zero percent fan. You have to be in 254 00:12:50.279 --> 00:12:53.039 like Sherry Flake graduate school to meditate. Okay, that's like 255 00:12:53.120 --> 00:12:56.039 advanced tep of shit. Okay, if you're going to be 256 00:12:56.200 --> 00:12:59.399 if you're new to meditation, you have to rise, get 257 00:12:59.399 --> 00:13:02.840 out of bed, okay, and then pee and not do 258 00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:07.559 anything else. Wait wait, wait, wait, even if you're sleepy, 259 00:13:07.799 --> 00:13:10.080 here's the thing with meditation. If you don't do it 260 00:13:10.080 --> 00:13:12.240 in your bed where you associate your bed with sleep 261 00:13:12.240 --> 00:13:16.159 and hopefully sex, you don't want to fall asleep there. Okay. 262 00:13:16.720 --> 00:13:19.879 Your brain will move into these other alpha waves and 263 00:13:19.919 --> 00:13:21.679 then be like oh this, I know this. I'm just 264 00:13:21.679 --> 00:13:23.080 gonna go right backles sleep. Mmm. 265 00:13:23.559 --> 00:13:25.559 Got it. But I got to clarify something. 266 00:13:25.720 --> 00:13:26.039 Okay. 267 00:13:26.120 --> 00:13:29.679 Are you suggesting you meditate on the toilet? 268 00:13:30.200 --> 00:13:30.399 No? 269 00:13:30.799 --> 00:13:33.799 Okay, because you know I didn't get that at all. 270 00:13:34.399 --> 00:13:41.200 Here's why I need to defend myself. Our bedroom. When 271 00:13:41.240 --> 00:13:43.519 you get up and you go pee, you it's the 272 00:13:43.519 --> 00:13:46.519 bathroom is right in the bedroom. There's wheel chairs. There's 273 00:13:46.559 --> 00:13:49.279 no other place to meditate than the bed or the john. 274 00:13:49.360 --> 00:13:51.559 So it's one or the other unless you go downstairs. 275 00:13:51.679 --> 00:13:53.559 And at that point I may as well make a coffee. 276 00:13:53.799 --> 00:13:56.279 Yeah, okay, So here's the thing. You're gonna need to 277 00:13:56.360 --> 00:13:58.799 have a designated spot. So like, remember I told you 278 00:13:58.840 --> 00:14:00.200 that Monk told me that I would love and I 279 00:14:00.240 --> 00:14:03.039 would look to the cushion with joy and anticipation and 280 00:14:03.080 --> 00:14:05.399 all that. Oh she said I would look to the 281 00:14:05.440 --> 00:14:08.240 cushion like I was greeting an old friend. I was like, 282 00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:09.960 I'm not gonna be doing that, but I definitely do 283 00:14:10.039 --> 00:14:12.000 that now I can't. I really have to hand it 284 00:14:12.039 --> 00:14:14.440 to her. Really, what I do is I rise pee. 285 00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:17.440 I'm avy at sherry Flake School, so I do brush 286 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:20.159 my chumps, then meditate because otherwise I think about my 287 00:14:20.159 --> 00:14:22.919 teeth all day. But you start with rise pea meditate. 288 00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:26.320 That's you. That's where you, that's where you live, your 289 00:14:26.399 --> 00:14:28.559 rise p meditate. So what you want to do is 290 00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:31.559 you have to have a designated spot, so your brain 291 00:14:31.639 --> 00:14:34.840 associates that spot with sitting quietly. 292 00:14:35.200 --> 00:14:38.919 But that spot is downstairs, right next to the coffee pot. 293 00:14:39.159 --> 00:14:42.399 You're going to have to resist the temptation to make coffee, 294 00:14:42.799 --> 00:14:44.919 rise pee and go right to that room. Do you 295 00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:45.519 have a pet? 296 00:14:46.240 --> 00:14:47.679 We do, Yeah, we got a dog. 297 00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:50.840 Okay. What's really nice is your pet is going to 298 00:14:51.200 --> 00:14:55.639 pick up on meditation habit way faster than you. So 299 00:14:55.720 --> 00:14:59.200 what I noticed was my dogs would lead me into 300 00:14:59.200 --> 00:15:03.799 the meditations because I could go straight for the coffee, okay, 301 00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:05.159 and I don't know if you guys want me on 302 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:11.120 coffee all out the experience. Okay, I can go straight 303 00:15:11.159 --> 00:15:12.840 to the coffee, or I can go right, and they 304 00:15:12.840 --> 00:15:14.879 always go right, and they sit on the cushions and 305 00:15:14.919 --> 00:15:17.039 they wait for me to sit down, and then I 306 00:15:17.080 --> 00:15:19.799 each give them something to chew, and I'm already sitting 307 00:15:19.799 --> 00:15:22.240 in the space, and then my brain's like I get 308 00:15:22.279 --> 00:15:24.879 to sit here because it's a big present for yourself. 309 00:15:25.559 --> 00:15:29.120 The reason why it's tough is because, a it's negotiable. 310 00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:31.799 You know, you're like, well, I can meditate today, I 311 00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:34.440 can meditate tomorrow, I can meditate whatever. But once you 312 00:15:34.559 --> 00:15:38.519 start to really like look at like, do yourself this 313 00:15:38.600 --> 00:15:41.480 beautiful favor. I used to give this talk before COVID 314 00:15:41.879 --> 00:15:44.559 to the National Association of Social Workers every year about 315 00:15:44.600 --> 00:15:46.879 meditation and its benefits. And it took me like an 316 00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:49.440 hour and twenty minute talk to talk about the clinical 317 00:15:49.440 --> 00:15:52.799 benefits that had been proven one hundred years ago now right, 318 00:15:53.600 --> 00:15:58.799 that meditation was helpful for physical symptoms, you know, physiological symptoms, psychiatric, 319 00:15:59.080 --> 00:16:03.440 all these things. And once you kind of pick one, 320 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:04.879 like let's see, yours is going to be I want 321 00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:07.759 to lower my blood pressure, right, or I want to 322 00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:12.039 eat more mindfully, or I wanna be calmer or whatever 323 00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:14.120 it is. Okay, whatever it is, So I get this. 324 00:16:14.240 --> 00:16:16.200 I get this gig to go to the middle school 325 00:16:16.200 --> 00:16:18.360 and talk about meditation. And I'm like, there's one thing 326 00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:21.759 you can do. And people who do this thing after 327 00:16:21.879 --> 00:16:24.759 three weeks, only three weeks of doing it every single day, 328 00:16:25.720 --> 00:16:29.600 they're better at sports. They learn faster and quicker, they're 329 00:16:29.879 --> 00:16:34.759 more sociable, they're happier, they're calmer, they have better attention skills, 330 00:16:34.799 --> 00:16:37.120 they're more focused. So I start naming all these things, right, 331 00:16:37.159 --> 00:16:39.399 and everybody likes the better at sports one because they're 332 00:16:39.399 --> 00:16:41.879 in middle school, right, And I'm going on and on 333 00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:44.840 and on, and then I said it begins with m 334 00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:49.000 I was out of middle school. I mean, they all 335 00:16:49.080 --> 00:16:54.320 came in. I know Karen's with me. Maybe you don't 336 00:16:54.320 --> 00:16:58.919 want that story in there. I'm just saying, what is it? 337 00:17:00.440 --> 00:17:03.039 Oh? Good god? 338 00:17:02.799 --> 00:17:06.119 Oh no, I don't even know you. No. 339 00:17:06.279 --> 00:17:08.279 I was thinking, like marijuana. I don't know. 340 00:17:08.319 --> 00:17:10.640 All the boys are like masturbation. I was like, oh no, 341 00:17:10.799 --> 00:17:12.680 that's terrible. And then there was a little boy out 342 00:17:12.680 --> 00:17:15.279 there who was like twelve years old and he's meditated 343 00:17:15.319 --> 00:17:17.640 with me a thousand times. His parents are big meditators. 344 00:17:17.680 --> 00:17:20.000 They come on retreats. And he said, no, it's meditation. 345 00:17:20.200 --> 00:17:21.599 So it has a happy ending. 346 00:17:23.240 --> 00:17:25.000 Excuse me, yes, it does. 347 00:17:27.680 --> 00:17:32.279 A terrible Okay, can you have a dirty mind and 348 00:17:32.359 --> 00:17:35.000 still meditate? Yes, because once you start looking at all 349 00:17:35.039 --> 00:17:37.160 of these benefits, whatever it is, the one that you pick, 350 00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:40.359 whatever it is, the one you pick, you will magically 351 00:17:40.400 --> 00:17:42.279 get that benefit if you start meditating. I mean it's 352 00:17:42.319 --> 00:17:47.400 it's unbelievable, but you will also get a benefit that 353 00:17:47.480 --> 00:17:51.039 I could that no one can predict, like if you 354 00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:53.000 really do decide that you're going to do it every 355 00:17:53.039 --> 00:17:55.160 single day, like brushing your chumps. I mean, nobody says 356 00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:57.400 to me, I'll have time to rush my chumps, right, Like, 357 00:17:57.960 --> 00:18:02.000 come on, come on, it's not negotiable. You're brushing your chomps. 358 00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:04.279 And if you miss a day, fine. I mean, these 359 00:18:04.279 --> 00:18:06.319 people are like, I haven't missed a day in twenty years. 360 00:18:06.319 --> 00:18:08.559 I'm like, whatever, it's usually a man, and there's usually 361 00:18:08.599 --> 00:18:12.640 a woman behind that man, but it's never a woman 362 00:18:12.720 --> 00:18:15.440 saying man. Okay, I'm just throwing that out there. But anyway, 363 00:18:16.039 --> 00:18:19.319 side note, you know there are these people who say, 364 00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:21.599 I haven't missed a day of meditation or twenty It 365 00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:23.240 doesn't matter if you miss a day. Have you missed 366 00:18:23.240 --> 00:18:26.759 a day brushing your chomps, You're fine, You're fine. Get 367 00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:28.400 on to the next day, Get onto the day that 368 00:18:28.440 --> 00:18:31.200 you're in. Get onto this moment, not five minutes from now, 369 00:18:31.279 --> 00:18:33.799 or this moment right here or right here. How I'm 370 00:18:33.799 --> 00:18:38.319 gonna end this sentence right now, now, right now, this one, 371 00:18:38.480 --> 00:18:40.720 right here, This is it. This is all we got. 372 00:18:41.039 --> 00:18:44.960 Nothing's gonna happen in the future. It happened now. Nothing's 373 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:47.759 gonna happen in the past. It happened right now. And 374 00:18:47.799 --> 00:18:50.839 if you're saying shit like I can't believe it's Solloween, 375 00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:53.000 and I can't believe it's Thanksgiving, and I can't believe 376 00:18:53.000 --> 00:18:55.880 it's Christmas, why can't you believe it? Okay, you need 377 00:18:56.079 --> 00:18:59.200 to be in the moment that you are in. Christmas 378 00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:02.680 always comes out Thanksgiving. Why can't you believe it? Why 379 00:19:02.680 --> 00:19:05.359 are you saying things about your kids like when he walks, 380 00:19:05.400 --> 00:19:07.400 I'll be happier when he goes to kindergarten, I'll be 381 00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:10.160 happy when then, Shit, none of us get out of 382 00:19:10.200 --> 00:19:12.880 here alive. You have no idea how much time you have. 383 00:19:13.319 --> 00:19:16.599 Take the time that you have right now and now 384 00:19:16.680 --> 00:19:19.359 and then this now, this is it. This is all 385 00:19:19.400 --> 00:19:22.519 you got. All you're gonna take with you wherever you 386 00:19:22.559 --> 00:19:25.759 go is your consciousness, work on it a little bit. 387 00:19:26.079 --> 00:19:29.359 You know, if you work on being distracted all damn day, 388 00:19:29.559 --> 00:19:31.720 you're gonna get real good at it. And everybody wants 389 00:19:31.720 --> 00:19:34.920 to press me. I got adhd. I'm like, join the club, everybody, 390 00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:37.400 you got a phone. You're good, you got it, You're 391 00:19:37.480 --> 00:19:42.440 you're you are meeting symptomology. Usually if you are remotely 392 00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:44.799 complaining about that, and it's because you're getting really good 393 00:19:44.799 --> 00:19:48.920 at it. You're practicing it. So maybe practice being quiet, 394 00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:56.839 practice being calm, practice, breathing slower, practice, mantra practice. And 395 00:19:56.880 --> 00:19:58.880 that's the other thing too. Nobody knows what meditation is. 396 00:19:58.920 --> 00:20:00.200 That's why it sucks. They don't know what to do 397 00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:01.160 when they go sit down. 398 00:20:01.680 --> 00:20:03.720 That was weirda be my next question, Actually, am I 399 00:20:03.799 --> 00:20:04.359 doing it right? 400 00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:07.519 Yeah? What you're doing is remember this meditation is not 401 00:20:07.640 --> 00:20:09.640