Speaker 1: Cool, Broken Simulation, Broken Simulation, Sam Tripley.
Speaker 2: Oh snaps, We're in it. Welcome to Johnny Woodard presents
Broken Simulation starring Johnny Woodard. Bang in it?
Speaker 3: Oh snap? Was that was a big one when I
was a kid? What like? What else did you have?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: No, you did?
Speaker 3: When I said that, I got, I was like black
people on TV.
Speaker 2: Well we dude, I'm from the eighties and nineties. All
we want to do is be black people hot top.
Speaker 3: The big story, I guess is this texting crisis out
of Washington. So this is a crazy shit. I don't know.
I mean, in a year of crazy shit, this is insane.
So the the executive editor for The Atlantic, what's his name,
Goldberg something Goldberg.
Speaker 4: I call him captain cockface.
Speaker 3: Captain couckface. Yeah, I think that's his official.
Speaker 2: Nickname, cucka word we can say on YouTube.
Speaker 3: Probably not, jeez. Jeffrey Goldberg is the guy's name. He's
their editor in chief, not their executive their editor.
Speaker 2: Johnny, I think you just made a noticing joke. I'm sorry,
go on, what a noticing joke?
Speaker 3: No, I don't. I'm not like that about your buddy.
Speaker 2: Oh god.
Speaker 3: Well, we're really just shot out of a cannon tonight.
Speaker 2: We're in it, dude, Johnny, We're in it. Okay, we're
living in twenty twenty five. We're doing real talk for
real people. Okay, real talk, real people, Johnny, Johnny, I
need to get something very clear to you right now.
I'm a I'm a real, real one. Okay. I don't
know what you want. Yeah, I'm a real one. Okay.
I don't take money from Big Soda to promote it. Okay,
I'm a real one.
Speaker 3: What's big Soda got it?
Speaker 2: Do you think?
Speaker 4: Have you heard about the big Soda thing?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2: A bunch of conservatives took money from big Soda to
push soda?
Speaker 3: What kind of soda?
Speaker 4: Coke and pepsi which you know I own stocking.
Speaker 3: To push what?
Speaker 2: Because the whole thing is that they want to pull
what is there? Oh for the EBT cards. They want
to make it illegal for them to buy so toa
with EBT cards, and like twenty percent Coca Cola's money
comes from ABT cards. Oh god, Yeah, maybe that's why
they're going to space, Johnny.
Speaker 3: I see they're pushing back on I don't see thinking
about them taking money. Yeah, I do see that. A
bunch of conservatives they're they're pushing back the lobbyists, they're
pushing back. Okay, so this story, Okay, Jeffrey Goldberg is
the editor in chief of The fucking Atlantic, and he
is on signal and a couple of nights ago, he
gets a text from someone claiming to be Pete Hesgeth.
Heg Seth sorry, Uh, as you.
Speaker 2: Know, Christian zionis well, yeah, and he he's also in
this threat.
Speaker 3: You can find the Vice president of the United States.
Speaker 2: What is it? What it's a telegram telegram threat. Our
president's on a telegram thread.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or at least someone who is representing him is
on there. Okay, And it's a couple other people, uh,
in in the White House, right uh and in the
National Security apparatus. And he is c seed and or
added to this telegram thread where they're going over the
assault on Yemen that hasn't happened yet, the bombing of
Yemen that hasn't happened yet. And he thinks at first
he's like being told or somebody's messing with him or something.
And then he realized and they're the way they're debating it. Like,
I'll just show you some of the texts here. Uh,
this is from jd Vance. It's he's going, he's adding
Pete hegseth. He says, if you think we should do it,
let's go. I just hate beiling out Europe again. Let's
just make sure our message is messaging is tight here.
And if there are things we can do upfront to
minimize risk the Saudi oil facilities, we should do it.
Speaker 4: Oh, I notice nothing's about American lives.
Speaker 2: No, of course, not unbelievable. And then and we thought
he was one of the decent ones. That's right, Like
even though he's got Peter Thiel up his b hole,
right right, But we thought, okay, jd Vance, he's from appellations,
his mom's a junkie. He gets us.
Speaker 6: Well.
Speaker 3: The interesting thing is that he doesn't even have a
ton of pull here. You can tell Heseeth comes back
and says, I fully share your loathing of European freeloading.
It's pathetic, he writes in all caps.
Speaker 2: And now are we against that? Are we against that statement?
Speaker 4: Right now?
Speaker 3: He's right, We're in yeah. But Mike is correct, we
are the only ones on the planet on our side
of the ledger anyway, who can do this? Nobody else
even is close. The question is timing. I feel like
now is as good a time as any, given Potus's
directive to reopen shipping lanes. I think we should go.
But Podis still retains twenty four hours of decision space.
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean that's that's that's a we call that
pause when agitated. Okay, when if you're upset, you don't
do anything. There's a rule I learned in AA Johnny.
Here's why I've learned. Should it be said, should be
said right now, should be said by me right now.
When you get to that one, it tends on that
you tend to be like, okay, it doesn't need to
be said. I'm telling you, I got it. So when
he goes twenty four hours, that's what you do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and usually when it involves dropping bombs on people,
the answers probably don't do it.
Speaker 2: How about them don't do it? How about that? How
about the how about the people that voted for normal
war get what they want?
Speaker 3: I completely agree. So you've got also Marco Rubio's in there.
Let's see who else Tulci Gabbard is in there. I mean,
it's just it's just a whole list of people in
uh you know who are in the in the tight
circle of national security.
Speaker 2: Man Tulsi Flip quick, huh she was. She's very non
war until the now she's like, yeah, we gotta get
those Yemens. You have a nies.
Speaker 4: She's totally in on it.
Speaker 3: Well, okay, So, by.
Speaker 4: The way, Johnny, real quick before you go.
Speaker 2: My theory is that the only woman that could get
voted in to president is Tulsey Gabber because she has
a phone sex voice. Yeah, like you could listen to
her talk nasty to you on the phone for three
ninety nine a minute.
Speaker 3: No, that's true.
Speaker 2: Hi, it's Tulsi. What are you into now?
Speaker 7: Then?
Speaker 3: Steven, the person we presume is Steven Miller.
Speaker 2: By the way, bombing Yemen is nasty.
Speaker 3: It is nasty. A person we presume is Stephen Miller.
He hasn't confirmed it. Apparently pops in and this is
where he just lays down the wall.
Speaker 4: Is he the guy that his head looks like a
light bulb?
Speaker 2: Correct? Okay, light bulb Steve. That's so we called him
in a high school.
Speaker 3: That's right. Now the president, he's I mentioned the President.
It's really Steven Miller representing him here, and he says,
as I heard it, the President was clear green light.
But we soon make clear to Egypt and Europe what
we expect in return. We also need to figure out
how to enforce such a requirement. If Europe doesn't remunerate,
then what if the US successfully restores freedom of navigation
at great cost, there needs to be some further economic
gain is extracted in returned. So they're talking about just
pure transactional.
Speaker 2: Which is what we thought they were, right, is that
basically what we've all come to the degree that this
is what we become hired guns.
Speaker 3: Absolutely and it's it's you know, it goes on like this.
I won't I won't bore you with the details of it.
But and then they start getting into like timelines like
when the bombs are gonna stop dropping and everything, like
when and where everything's gonna hit. So this this guy
for the Atlantic is sitting there and then when that
time comes, the first reports of like explosions and Yemen
start coming across the wires and he's like, oh shit, dude,
I am on this thread. Nobody ever asked like, who
is this guy? Nothing this He left the thread, and
nobody ever was.
Speaker 2: Like, okay, what happened. Okay, so let's let's say, let's
stop for a second and go. We don't like this guy, right,
Greenberg or whatever his name is.
Speaker 3: Oberg, yeah, olber No, Yeah, the Atlantic is us. We
don't like shit ragging.
Speaker 2: Okay, But Johnny, if this is any other time where
everyone was on one side of the other side, this
is the seventies, you know what this guy would be
doing right now journalism. This would be journalism. You would
be saying, hey, man, these guys are want to go
to war. I'm sorry, but nobody wants to go to
war with Yemen. The American people don't want war with Yemen.
They've expressed it. The Yemen has done nothing to us.
And again it gets into this guy on campus getting
in trouble.
Speaker 4: He wasn't criticizing America.
Speaker 2: Our clip is getting a lot of shit right now
on on Instagram that that uh Steve Pinokin or whatever,
and everyone's like laying into oh, you guys are getting killed.
Uh sorry, dude, he was not criticizing America. I'm sorry,
and so okay, So what if he is, I personally
think he was. Once you're giving green a green card.
Speaker 3: Yeah, people have this. People are confused. They're the Framers
were very clear when the cost applies to citizens and
when it applies to anybody in the United States, and
most of those things they say people not citizens, and
those protections apply to people with green cards.
Speaker 2: Of course, he's probably a British spy most likely, so
there's something there with that.
Speaker 4: But it's like it's like, I'm sorry, dude.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, person committing espionage.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. But you know, the war machine is the spooks.
The war machine is the elites. The war machine is
what we keep voting against every time. And this notion
that we need fifty billion dollars of war every year.
Can we just give them fifty bill and say, just
stop killing people? I mean, we print that money and
not that's like one print here, stop bombing people, leave
us alone.
Speaker 3: Just give it to the defense contractors and stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just go away.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's great. At least they're doing it now, they're
not trying to get boots on the ground. I feel
like if this was what you said, what thirty years ago,
we would be talking about an invasion and now I
feel like, yeah, but d and Win those moved so
far that nobody's four boots on the ground anymore and
that they know they can.
Speaker 2: But dude, this is now. Now you're getting the thing
where it's like, is this war? Like are we at war?
Speaker 3: It's always been that thing since going back to Vietnam.
Speaker 2: What is war?
Speaker 6: War?
Speaker 2: I mean, like, dude, if we're bombing people, I would
think that's war in its constitutions. They didn't call a
raq war or Afghanistans what I'm saying, Dude, they've changed
the definition or in their head like, hey, we're not
sending boots so we can do whatever we want.
Speaker 3: It's supposed to be. It's because, I mean, they're never
gonna call not sending boots on the ground wars because
you know, you know what the war powers are supposed
to be in the hands of Congress and the president
usurped those decades and decades ago, and now it's never
going back.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it sucks.
Speaker 3: Ron Paul would spent his entire career railing against this.
Got nowhere.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how do we not have a White House their own?
Speaker 3: Like, well, the other thing this is really important now
to think of this, A lot of the or at
least some of the people in there, had their messages
set to delete to disappear after a month.
Speaker 2: So they were basically snapchatting.
Speaker 3: It, and that's illegal everything. If you create a new
form of communication, it has to be you have to
have a carbon copy being sent to the archives so
that they will you know, it'll be preserved forever the
decision making behind this, so we can make sure it
was done legally. And you know, there wasn't any bad
intent or you know, anything that was you know, anything
that was what would you say, I guess not in
the best interest of our country being done. But that's
always been the way of it, you know. And and
now now that they're using things like telegram, is that
why they're using telegram so that all this shit doesn't
end up in the record. So I think they got
to stop that ship right quick. Because also you have
a question, and I saw a few people writing about this,
what happens now if somebody at the CIA, let's say,
is using telegram and their phone is compromised. Now you're
China and you have access to literally in real time
the plans in Taiwan, Let's say something like that. They
can't they can't do that, dude, they can't be using phones.
Speaker 2: How about you into Taiwan? How about that one betastic?
How about how about we we don't control Taiwan, get
get any of.
Speaker 4: Our businesses there, start doing it here and move on.
Speaker 3: Sorry, it's funny. It's funny too to listen like JD.
Vance doesn't have you can tell from the dynamic of
the thread. Jed E. Vance doesn't have a lot of power.
He's just kind of sheepeshly, kind of poking.
Speaker 2: I'm the vice president, listen to me, damn it. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then like Rubio's, it's like the intellectual room and
it's just it's fascinating to hear them. And then Stephen
Miller is the guy who comes in with Trump's voice,
and it's just like ship the Trump said, go baby,
let's do this. So yeah, I'm and I you know,
it's it's then it's a new it's a new day here.
We're uh yeah, we're constantly constantly being disappointed right now.
Speaker 2: And that was Hot Top, Hot Top guys, come see
me live, were you gonna be? I'm on being Detroit
this weekend. Then Tacoma Ronaldo B. Each there's so many
dates coming. It's coming out. I got dates coming out
of my be hole. Flower sang, yeah, So, Johnny, have
you seen this thing that people are doing now? They're
asking gro what is it? Groc Groc? Based on my tweets,
who am I most like? I got Joe Rogan and
Dave Smith? Not bad, not bad, not bad.
Speaker 3: It's a good company. Some guy sent me that and said,
this is more proof that Groc is gay.
Speaker 2: I think it might be.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I mean Groc is horny for us.
Speaker 3: It is funny, dude. I've been interacting with chat GBT
more lately, just using it for stuff, but you gotta
be careful due it just makes ship up, dude. They
call it, you know, it's called hallucinations. That's what they generous.
Speaker 2: Is that what they're calling AI bullshit?
Speaker 3: Yeah, AI bulls called hallucinations. And it'll take information that
you've kind of fed it and then just kind of
twisted in that sounds true and I love you way off,
And it'll say it confidently. It's a thing women usually do.
Have you noticed that women will confidently tell you something
completely one percent.
Speaker 2: I've said this before Dana and I Dana's driving me
fucking nuts right now with her Trump's arrangement syndrome.
Speaker 4: So I just agree with her.
Speaker 2: Can I believe he's doing it? Oh? I can't believe. Dude.
Is it Nazi Germany around here?
Speaker 3: That's it? Not invite?
Speaker 2: And she gets angry about Okay, I get what you're doing.
I'm like, hey, dude, that's what I'm gonna do for
now on. I don't care. I'm on nobody's side. I
like things that Trump's doing, and I hate things that
Trump's doing, and I will call it out individually. Okay,
I don't care. Listen, the Palestinian and the bearded ladies
thing AI is creepy and gross, and I'm very anti
with that. But so far, I would take two three
months of Trump over four years of Biden and eight
years of Obama.
Speaker 3: Did you hear this story that Mike Johnson told the
you know, the Leader of the House. He was talking
about how he talked to Biden near the end and
was like, listen, Biden, mister president. We I got the
people who are running like the pipelines of natural gas
to like Russia or something somewhere overseas somewhere, and they
want to know why you shut it off with that
executive order the other day And Biden was like, no,
what you're talking crazy, I didn't shut anything off. Yeah,
and he's like, no, no, you really did, I promise you.
And He's like, no, I didn't. What that was we
I commissioned a study for them to look into, you know,
the safety of natural gas. And Mike John's like, listen,
I don't, mister president, would respect? Do you mind if
I just go get this thing and show it to you?
And he and he shows it to him, and Biden
clearly just didn't. He's signing shit and yeah he autopened.
Speaker 2: He doesn't, meaning they were just doing it without.
Speaker 3: Him putting it in front of him. And yeah, well,
now Trump is saying that all of his pardons are
because they were by autopen.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I know I heard that. I don't
know how I feel about that.
Speaker 3: Trump announced it.
Speaker 4: Man, it starts a president, which I'm not against.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, hey, if you if you if it's
that important, you should have to put your own signal.
Speaker 2: By the way, if you're getting a part, you've done
some shady shit. So hey, I say pay the piper.
Speaker 3: Isn't that crazy though? That those pardons might not be
valid for Yeah, it is very weird too. I saw
a story though of a liberal publication trying to defend it,
saying that presidents have been doing that, going back to
like Thomas Jefferson. Apparently he have some kind of thing
where Yeah.
Speaker 2: Thomas Jefferson loved to use AI to sign stuff.
Speaker 3: It's so funny they'll defend anything.
Speaker 2: I mean, dude, the Biden years will people will look
back at them and be like, that was literally the
weirdest four years.
Speaker 3: Oh, we're getting a book soon. So I heard a
few journalists have like serious books about how.
Speaker 2: But it not home.
Speaker 3: He was towards the end there.
Speaker 2: No how. The whole thing was just sci fi. It's
scary like and like Kamala Harris would have been even
more of that would have been everything you hate about
Trump right now, if you hate about Trump, just add
trans fat, feminist and angry BLM to it. That's what
you get if you have Kamala Harris in there.
Speaker 3: And I think she is more of an empty pants suit. Honestly,
she's just a Democratic Party.
Speaker 2: She would have just been the Kardashian just going and
she would have booted her husband getting long dick downs,
just doing blow with rappers.
Speaker 3: That's all doing what the Democratic Party would have been
in office, that would have been running the country right now.
Speaker 2: So the big story now is Harry session Assisten Sissy
Harry Sissyiss has been excommunicated by the left for stories
him asking for naked pictures.
Speaker 3: It's ridiculous that, well, you know what the word they
use now is sex pest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And now what's going on is that the left,
which has convinced us that porn is feminism, is trying
to convince us these poor little of age girls. We're
trying to going, oh my god, he was asking them
for nudes. Women treat nudes like currency. It's basically bribes.
Speaker 3: Oh, you're totally right.
Speaker 2: They're like, hey, let me into your world of access nude.
Speaker 3: A nude is worth more than the US dollar, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I said, if a girl goes, hey, I'll send you
one hundred dollars or a picture of my whole, my
double hole action, that's worth way more. I think that's
how crazy it is.
Speaker 3: I think only fans when we're gonna start requiring gold
instead of US dollars.
Speaker 2: Dude, if I was going over to Saudi Arabia. To
get a Cleveland steamer from a Saudi it would be
paid in bitcoin.
Speaker 3: That's funny. There's something. Have you heard this claim that
he's not a he can't vote in US elections, Like
he's not a cistan I've heard he claims to be.
But some people are saying Harry Sisson is like not American?
Speaker 2: What is he? Where's he from?
Speaker 3: The baggot town per the FP whatever? That that's the Oh,
it's the Free Press. Okay. Uh, he's a Singapore born
Irish immigrant and cannot vote in the American election an American.
He's not citizen, that's what they say. But he claims
to have voted, so I don't know. He's like tweeted
where he's like, I proudly voted for Pam. Now just
because you voted doesn't mean you're a citizen as we know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean for sure. And now Trump's pushing that
whole thing about making it so you so you have
to do basic things like show an I d like
you had.
Speaker 3: And it's funny Europe, where a lot of you know,
the most liberal people in the world, they require voter
idea in a lot of those.
Speaker 2: Students everywhere in the history of time has it's so
obvious you're faking it. And then again, we're going to
get into state rights versus federal rights, and we on
the show are.
Speaker 3: Federal elections, they're federal elections. Why wouldn't you require federal
Why couldn't the federal government make restrictions on revironments?
Speaker 2: Were concerned about state state elections?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I but to me, like, if if
the state, if it's a state election, let the states decide. Sure,
but for federal elections, for why shouldn't the state be allowed?
I mean, the federal government be allowed to impose.
Speaker 2: Can we start a change out org? To get me
to go on Gavin Newsom's podcast, it would be the
shortest podcast in the history of time. I'd be like,
you know, everyone thinks you're American psycho, right like that,
You'll just like people think.
Speaker 3: He would go back on you.
Speaker 2: I we would go at it.
Speaker 3: I think he would play with you. Actually, I think
he would do like, yeah, it's so funny. It couldn't
be more obvious what he's doing now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think he's getting his dick kicked in.
It's almost like a humiliation ritual that he's just like, Okay,
I'm gonna get flogged and then at the end, I'm
gonna come out of here.
Speaker 3: Okay, I think, yeah, I think that's what he thinks.
That is that when he comes out the other end,
people are gonna be like, you know what, he's kind
of like a cool liberal. You know, he's like the
cool liberal that we can all hang out with, maybe
vote for ye And if you look like, did you
see the thing where he was here, let me show
you this, dude. This is just this just shows you
the level of psychopathy you're dealing with with Gavin Newsom.
Speaker 2: Here.
Speaker 3: Uh so he claimed that he never said and nobody
in his office ever said LATINX. The term LATINX. Yeah,
I love that, and bro, he said it like a
million times. Here's this this and this is CNN reported
on this credit one person ever in my office has
ever used the word LATINX. But by the way, the
funny part about this is CNN is reporting on it
because they because they are they view him as betraying
the left by coming out against the term latin X.
So that's the only reason they're reporting on it, to
be clear. But here you go, this is fascinating. So
could we finally put that to bad Yeah, but where
did that even know MOREX? Everybody well just didn't even
know where it came from.
Speaker 8: And like, what do people there's a weird head curved
person who used lax actually Charles.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 8: And look, these aren't minor shifts. These are progressive issues
that Gavin Newsom used to champion until fairly recently.
Speaker 2: And when you say progressive issues, it's rich white people.
Speaker 8: With that clip talking about latin in the first place.
But let's just let's take latin X. We did find
somebody who used it, repeating she.
Speaker 3: Stepped over his thing. By the way, that's so bun.
Speaker 2: We found okay, keep going, keep going.
Speaker 3: Isn't that why she stepped all over his thing?
Speaker 6: Though?
Speaker 3: She was like, I guess he said it already and
then he was about to do this reveal. We did
find somebody who said it. You could tell he had
already written in his head what he was going to say.
That just let's take a listen to this.
Speaker 7: I hope we can really paint a picture in terms
of our consciousness of how impactful this has been on
the LATINX community.
Speaker 2: LATINX community. The LATINX and black communities got politicians that
are banning not assault rifles, but the word LATINX.
Speaker 3: They're not even serious, Like, how psychential do you have
to be to there's just light?
Speaker 2: Well, because that's his job. It's crazy, though, dude, that's
what I mean. Dude, he is trueau I bet you
they've gone ass to ass before. I'm sure they have, yeah,
because there's no way then they They are the exact
same person. Their whole job is convinced white women that
no matter how big the law, they're cute, vote for them.
Speaker 4: And that's why Canada's fucked, California's fucked, right man.
Speaker 3: I'm just I got this image of like, my question
is who's standing around lizards lizard people?
Speaker 2: Lizard people are just thrown lizard dollars at them.
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you ever hear that story that that oh God Billy
Corgan told on Howard Stern about how he was with
this woman one time and he saw her transform into
a lizard like right in front of him.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't die. Yeah, I've heard that and I wouldn't
doubt it.
Speaker 3: Well twice it happened.
Speaker 2: People think I'm crazy, Adele. There is a famous like
post from a fan who's backstage saw her shape shift.
Really then she disappeared and came back slim and only
banged black guys. Remember that she went right from fat
white woman who dated nerdy or married nerdy British guys
to only getting black dong. Dude.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean you know, she was always wanting the
black dong. That's just all she could get.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean thick pitches.
Speaker 3: Although, yeah, that's a good point. Maybe in England is
different though. I think that the black people in England
have a little different priorities. Yeah, British blacks are cool. Well,
American blacks are cool too.
Speaker 2: All blacks are cool. Let's be let's yeah, we're a
pro black show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we watched the NBA.
Speaker 2: Here we watch the NBA. We're the only white people
to watch the British the Black Entertainment Awards. We should
just every time they're on. We should do a live
stream and just celebrate.
Speaker 3: We could have a watch party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, bet watch party together.
Speaker 4: Let's go.
Speaker 3: Do they still do the BET Awards? I wonder, dude,
they'll never stop doing the BT you think so? You know,
we'll never let that stop black people. I wonder when
they are in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: They're June ninth, All right, June ninth, guys, we're going
to have a live stream of the BT Wars. I'm
celebrat entertainment.
Speaker 3: Here there in l A this year.
Speaker 2: Are we going?
Speaker 3: We should go and just do the red carpet one
hundred things they do, like the mahogany carpet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Yeah, for sure, I would love that. Let's go, Johnny.
Can we get tickets? Can we buy?
Speaker 3: Are you allowed to just ask questions about when it's
appropriate we get? Can we Hey, we're the press, wouldn't
that be you just say? We try to get the
N word pass from every black celebrity.
Speaker 4: Can I get an N word pass?
Speaker 2: But I have to bring giant airyan bouncers with me?
No you want?
Speaker 3: You want the fat en words from the Space Program? Dude?
Speaker 2: They're great, but I'm sorry, but I can't support them enough.
Speaker 3: It's the funniest thing.
Speaker 2: The only thing I will ever uh support in space
is fat Edwards.
Speaker 3: I almost just want to play it for play it, Johnny, Like, no,
I can't. We can't play it because nobody, nobody going
to see it. Was speaking of smart black people, Terrence
Howard has claimed to have solved the three body problem?
Have you this is? He's he's so dramatic. Look just
why it's it's it's just really a parody of itself.
Speaker 2: By the way, looking super Asian right now, he does.
Speaker 3: Yeah, look at the way he sets this up.
Speaker 2: Johnny, will you do something where you play like Chinese
symbols behind it? As he talks, can you do that?
Speaker 3: He does look super Asian? You're right, it's uh. He's
always kind of kind of had like this. He's I
guess he's gained some weight now and he's, uh, yeah, dude,
He's like, I don't need to act anymore. I'm just
over here doing math.
Speaker 2: Yeah. There, we all hear it. Play it low, but
let's hear.
Speaker 3: It just it just kills me. Like his whole setup,
like he just he makes a meal of it, dude,
taking like a deep breath before he starts here.
Speaker 2: Sure, dude, we're about to get knowledge.
Speaker 3: He's like, I did it, dude.
Speaker 7: He did it March twentieth, problem solved the eve of
the Spring equinox.
Speaker 9: This is a gift to the world on.
Speaker 2: His birth, Happy birthday, dramatic.
Speaker 7: My fellow seekers are truth and all those who have
ever gazed the top stars?
Speaker 4: And is it possible to take somebody's heious and fubu.
Speaker 3: I was actually thinking that, Johnny.
Speaker 2: I saw a dude at the Palms this weekend.
Speaker 3: You're in Vegas. Yeah, we'll get about that.
Speaker 2: You will get to that in a full on kool
aid camouflage, uh sweats suit. And I was like, I
I never need to dress up again. If I can
find out where that is, I will wear that to
the end of time.
Speaker 3: Who you hiding from that?
Speaker 2: What is that? What use is that?
Speaker 3: Camouflages? All right? Back to Terrence Howard, He's gonna drop something.
Speaker 2: I can hear the diabetes and this I can just
hear it bubbling.
Speaker 7: Under the infinite dance of the cosmos. Today we gather
at the threshold of a new understanding. You see, for
centuries the three body problem. It stood as an unsolvable enigma,
a testament to the chaos that emerges when celestial bodies
interact under the invisible hand of great gravity and think.
Speaker 9: Great minds from Newton to point care all wrestled.
Speaker 7: With its unpredictable nature of the three body problem, and
as a result, for centuries chaos reigned.
Speaker 9: But today, on this equal.
Speaker 7: Ups, this day of perfect balance, we unveil a solution,
one that's not found by the limitations of classical thought.
Speaker 9: But rather guided by the harmony of the universe itself.
Speaker 2: Have we made this video better?
Speaker 10: Oh?
Speaker 3: Of course with the ancient music? Yeah, yeah, of course.
Speaker 4: It's we made We made the ship rush home.
Speaker 3: He's also a guy like the what is that? Like
the Mortal Kombat logos there or something, Game of Thrones,
maybe the house uh what is that? The House of
the Dragon things?
Speaker 4: Yeah, the Rosco Chicken to waffle.
Speaker 9: And of course the highwa comma.
Speaker 7: We present a model that transforms instability into residents chaos.
Speaker 3: To be clear, no idea what the fuck he's talking about?
Speaker 4: By the way, he still hasn't told us how he
solved it.
Speaker 3: No, no, I'm waiting to order.
Speaker 2: All I know is Johnny, Can I ask you how
many white chicks does he get with this answer? All them?
All the.
Speaker 9: Three body system into Oh dude.
Speaker 3: The white chicks when they hear that. They have no
idea what he's talking about, but they're just very.
Speaker 2: Their panties just jump off. They don't even try.
Speaker 3: In fact, on the other side of the camera, it's
like five hot white chips just like shaking their head like, oh, Terrence,
you're so smart.
Speaker 9: It stabilizes orbits its hidden rhythms.
Speaker 3: Because he's so impressed in himself to here.
Speaker 9: This isn't just some academic achievement.
Speaker 3: Also, what's that thing around him? What's that He's got
something tied around his head? Though?
Speaker 7: What is that we perceive the so called forces that
govern our reality, from actual physics to quantum mechanics, from
celestial nowatigation to the very structure of the universe itself.
This discovery right here redefines what is possible.
Speaker 3: That's great, Terrence. So just tell us why.
Speaker 2: I mean, like, we're so dumb we won't even know.
So just tell them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just tell it, Just tell us. Now you did it,
so just tell us.
Speaker 7: And so on this birthday of the Earth, this moment
of cosmic symmetry, we are going to release this knowledge
freely to the world.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 9: Let this be the spark that illuminates a new path
where no one has to.
Speaker 3: That's a great view he's got there. By the way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, someone's crushing Malibu or something.
Speaker 4: Whack science pays Well.
Speaker 2: This is the.
Speaker 3: He's rich.
Speaker 9: Let us step forward together.
Speaker 3: On March twentieth five, that music, dude, Look, he's so
he's so pleasing himself, isn't he Like it's just.
Speaker 9: The day I did Three Body?
Speaker 2: And Nick mumbles congratulations.
Speaker 3: So there you go. That's Terrence Howard. What do you
think about You think there's any chance he actually solved the.
Speaker 2: Three body Why not? I would rather him solve it
than anybody else.
Speaker 3: Than anybody else? Yeah, what about your your daughter?
Speaker 2: Okay outside of like yeah, my daughter, she's five, she's
played rollblocks and she just she just figures it out. Yeah,
she's like, Daddy, I figured out the three body problems,
and I'd be like, damn science.
Speaker 3: I can't find any news reporting about it. It's nobody
is saying that he did it, So I don't know.
Speaker 4: He's like the Tesla of our time. Yeah, he's just Tesla.
Speaker 2: Died broke he was or where the hell he is?
Speaker 3: He's so annoyed that nobody is reporting on it. That
he sound it's him. He posted another video that because
nobody can't. It's just forty.
Speaker 9: What's you want to do? Proven report? Look at what
we just di We just solved the three hundred year
old problem.
Speaker 2: I am man, dude, you are the last whole lot
of mind.
Speaker 9: But the same stuff that you said it was bathwater.
I don't blame you.
Speaker 3: He's just making a meal of it.
Speaker 9: And they seem like something from out of this planet.
Speaker 2: By the way, all of us are pregnant now from
listening to this, we're all pregnant and we're all having
his baby. That's just what happened.
Speaker 11: Then.
Speaker 3: I just, dude, it wouldn't make me so happy if
these scientific assholes had to just eat crow if he
really did figure it out.
Speaker 4: Do you think they would No, dude, they would never
give him credit.
Speaker 3: But this is something like that can be checked. Man,
It's not it's not like yes. This is like yes
or no, like he figured out or he did not.
This is you know what I mean, so that we
will know if he did h And I just pray
to Jesus that it would make me so happy.
Speaker 4: Well, we're rooting for you here, a team broken simulation.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe if he solved that problem, Johnny, guess what,
the simulation may no longer be broken. This may be
just me simulation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, good on you, Terrence Howard Hope.
Speaker 4: Terrence, you are our number one scientist on the show.
Speaker 3: This is his website right here. Look, it's just well,
that's too much website for a browser apparently.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, dude, part of the three body problem
brought up another problem. It's eating too much bandwidth.
Speaker 3: I know, it's funny. It worked for a second and
then it's just way, it's just him like, uh there,
just look at him doing Oh he just keeps You
gotta get your website sorted out there, Terrence. Anyway, it's
him like just looking like a badass doing like science stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Johnny, I felt that I felt like, as
soon as that problem solved, my life problems went away.
Oh you could feel something I was getting along with
all the women in my life. My kids could read
at a third grade level.
Speaker 4: We're winning.
Speaker 2: What did you get?
Speaker 3: You said you went to Vegas?
Speaker 2: Well, Johnny, al got some ticket update for you on
the Indiana ticket.
Speaker 3: Said triple eze traffic court. Yeah, somebody said that that
was You're lucky you didn't get you can get in
more trouble over death penalty. Yeah, the death penalty. Yeah,
that's what's my say.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, so I did it.
Speaker 4: I talked about last I'm you know, went a little fast, A.
Speaker 3: Little fast yeah, ninety oh seventy nah word, I.
Speaker 2: Mean depends on what where you're measuring from right, miles
per hour from where I.
Speaker 4: Was my position.
Speaker 2: I was going the speed of the highway, meaning I
was going along with my fellow drivers.
Speaker 3: How fast were they going?
Speaker 2: Look like they were all breaking the law, breaking the law?
They were going ninety yeah, And I saw I was
going regular speed technically, no, not untechnically okay, which in
a Terrence Howard kind of way is technically okay.
Speaker 3: So it's like the grizzly bear reaching into the stream
grabbing a salmon. You just were the one he got
that day, you know. Yeah, Yeah, they're all going the
same speed, but he got you.
Speaker 4: That is the truth, Johnny, That is one the truth.
Speaker 3: Plucked you out of the stream.
Speaker 2: I remember when I went to see comedy when I
was really young at UNLV in like ninety one ninety two.
There was someplace at the in Vegas called the comedy
Stop and I went there and watched comedy and the
guy on stage he said something.
Speaker 4: He goes, listen, we need to all speed together.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, okay, just if we all go fast,
they can't catch us. Right, that's brilliant. Great, And Johnny,
I'm gonna say this. I think you should be able
to go super fast on a highway.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they should in the fast lane.
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially in Indiana where you just drive forever and
there's nobody, like. The highway limits are so dumb. School limits, yeah,
city limits, I'll understand highway limits. We should drive to win.
Speaker 3: A lot of the highways used to be faster too.
And then the seven minimum.
Speaker 2: You should be able to go a hondo.
Speaker 3: Then they're in the gas crisis. They brought down the
speed limits and they never brought them back.
Speaker 2: Of course, because they can make money off that. Tickets
are just a backdoor tax. There's a time when in
La before you got here, where everyone was just getting
pulled over all the time because the city needed money,
so they were just taxing everybody. They were just tickets everybody,
and if you showed up, you got out, and if
you didn't show up, you paid your ticket.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you used to have a great record of success
in traffic court.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean I've gotten out of tickets telling jokes.
We told that in another podcast. But so I am,
I drive, I get this ticket. He doesn't even give
me a chance to get out. So I go do
the show. I give I give the ticket to Dana,
and you know, she starts making some calls, seeing if
I can get out of this. So she calls the
Indiana DMV and Dana text me. She goes, I have
the funniest story for you. Okay, let me hear. She goes,
I have to text you.
Speaker 4: She texts me. Oh, she says, call me.
Speaker 2: Okay. So I get done on my work, which is
usually two days straight, and then I'll call her after that. No,
sometimes I'll leave the house, Sho'll call me right back
and I'll be like, hey, Dana, what's up?
Speaker 4: Stop that I have to I have to tell you something.
Speaker 2: I go, Okay, it's get to the point where me
and d love each other so much, but we're becoming
my uncle Lou and my aunt Joe am with They
would just fucking light each other up erate in front
of everybody. At this point, doesn't even matter. Poor XG
was there and we were just Dylan's been there and
she's been there, and we're just like an old couple
fighting and I'm fine with that. I don't mind it.
It's the best way to keep it going. It's just like, hey,
let's be honest here. So called. I call her back
and she's like, listen, I call the DMV in in Indiana.
She goes, by the way nicest human beings on planet Earth.
She goes, you can't believe you're talking to the DMV.
That's how nice they are there. So so she goes,
she goes, I'm talking to lady. The lady asked me
for the ticket number. Gives the ticket number to the
lady and lay goes, oh, I know this ticket. She
goes what she goes, I know this ticket. As soon
as I saw I thought there can only be one
Sam Tripoli. Really she goes what she goes, Oh, yeah,
I know who he is. I listened to his show,
Oh Boy Susan in Indiana. I listened to his show.
I go as soon as I saw it, I turned
my fag go, it looks like we got celebrity here.
Fun so funny, I go, Really, she goes Listen. If
I could do anything for you, I will do it.
But I can't because it's just a system. But she
says Indiana is interesting. Indiana's thing is if you get
busted in Indiana and you're from out of state doing
a ticket, they won't let your state know. If you
pay off the ticket and for a year, you're on
probation there. For one year, you're on probation for with them,
and if you don't get a ticket for that year,
once you pay it off, it goes away and they
don't tell anybody about it. Don't go to Indiana, dude.
I will never drive in Indiana again. Ever. I will
never drive. But I thought that was the funniest shit
I've ever seen, because I they if I get a
couple more points, I could lose my license.
Speaker 12: So I have to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and half the time is such a bad trying
to say you're a good but Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, here's
the truth.
Speaker 4: This is the first time involved a cop pulling me over.
Speaker 2: One of them was for a traffic ticket that I
didn't even go through because I remember stopping and I'm like, oh,
that's not good.
Speaker 3: I thought you didn't you get stopped over here at
like uh uh la palma or whatever the hell it's
called up by the up going, like making an illegal
right turn or something up by the post office.
Speaker 2: Up. No, that was like literally like ten years ago.
Speaker 6: Right.
Speaker 3: You said you've never been pulled over there, but I
mean like I.
Speaker 2: Mean recently, I'm the times I've gotten trying. Okay, whatever, Johnny,
it's timelines here, Okay. When I say I never been
pulled out, I mean recently.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, because that we're never you see, it has
a really defined uh meaning with some bullshit.
Speaker 2: So anyways, the last time I think I got there
was that one ticket. I just never heard back from
them ever. And then there was one when I was
with Brian Callum five years ago, like five or six
years ago in in Century City. I dealt, I dealt,
tried to deal with that, and then I haven't gotten
anything since. I've had two accidents where my well, I
they weren't even accidents. It was one was well, one
was an accident and it was just this freak thing
where I was parked and I took off and then
this guy just rolled right in and we and we
both died the brakes and we tapped.
Speaker 3: What were you doing on your phone when that happened?
Speaker 2: I wonder I was? I was, I was dealing with
the kids. Some somebody dropped something, so I pulled over
to site or or day and I were trying to
figure out where we had to go to bring the girls.
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm mmm. So if you haven't had any why
do you have so many points on your insurance?
Speaker 2: Because I've had. I had a tree fall on my
car and that made that cost me in insurance.
Speaker 3: I don't think you get points for that though.
Speaker 2: I dude, don't. I don't even know. I'm just I'm
just a great driver. I drive. I just drive.
Speaker 3: I know, I know that's not true. I've many times,
and I've learned my lesson. I will never do it
again whilst you're driving.
Speaker 2: Okay, well you know that's why I let data drive
all the time, to be honest.
Speaker 3: That's smart.
Speaker 2: Okay. So yeah, that was it.
Speaker 3: You know that's crazy, isn't it. What are the odds
of that?
Speaker 2: I don't know seeing that that famous? So yeah, I
mean that's kind of weird. Wild. There's only one Sam
Tripoli out there.
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, well, if you think about it, Okay,
Let's say you know, one hundred thousand plus people listen
to an episode of Tempo Hat. Probably a million people
have heard an episode of Tempo Hap. Maybe more than
that millions of people out there. You divide that by
fifty fifty states, you're talking thousands of people in every state.
So the odds aren't that bad.
Speaker 2: It's not that bad.
Speaker 3: And if you count your Rogan appearances, then I mean,
come on, dude, there's like everybody in the United States
knows who you are.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree, So I still think it's fun.
Speaker 3: That's crazy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it just sucks, but you know, so.
Speaker 3: What you just pay it off.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to go take an online course and
now they don't make you go to a class. You
don't have to pay it or you know, I got
to pay it off, but I have to be on probation.
Indiana will be like, we're not going to give you.
Speaker 3: Probation means going to a class.
Speaker 2: So also, no, I'm going to do a class here
because in California and get a point off your license
if you take a class, the class is unrelated to
to the Indiana thing.
Speaker 3: I guess, yeah, this is for your other violation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for my other phantom violations. They're phantom, Johnny.
Speaker 3: You're Johnny targeted by the police.
Speaker 2: I am getting targeted by the police.
Speaker 3: Political believe.
Speaker 2: That's why, Johnny, I don't get red cars because how's
that work for you? Yeah, not that great traffic cord.
So you know, Johnny, I'm a little older than you.
And as you get older, your friends, your family, friends
or friends. Johnny, was that necessary? Are you in your forties? No,
you're not in your forties. I'm not so I am
much older than you. As you get to my age,
you're the older generation starts to fall off, Okay, And
so I got a call, I got a text because
the people in my family right now, Johnny, really really
love to really love to let you know when people die.
Speaker 3: No, don't they Yeah, they do.
Speaker 2: That's their favorite thing to let you know when people die.
And so my cousin Frank called me up and he
hit me up and he told me that this guy
named Angelo Morelli died, a good friend of the family,
my dad's old old friend, and he passed away. So
sending love to him and his family. And it's so
funny because my mother and my father haven't been together
for h got to be almost twenty five years. My
dad is if you ask me, he is the world's
oldest autistic human being.
Speaker 4: Like, I think he got autism before everybody else did.
Speaker 3: Trailblazer.
Speaker 2: My dad was a trailblazer, My dad, my dad. Talking
to my dad is like talking to like a commodore
sixty four.
Speaker 4: It's like it's still a computer, but it's it's.
Speaker 3: Really slot pioneers of autism.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my dad is a pioneer of autism.
Speaker 5: And so.
Speaker 2: I get call. I get called from my text from
my cousin Frank, and he of course I call my mother.
She says she doesn't think it's him. She calls her sister,
calls me back, it's him. She starts crying. Who died
the person who died Angelo? What they thought it was
somebody else, but it was the angel or Angelo. And
she starts crying because my mother is emotional, even though
she hadn't talked to him for a couple of years,
emotionally losing a friend. No, he was like best man
in my dad's my mom's wedding, all that stuff, right,
So my mother's crying talking about how great of a
guy he was, all that stuff. I call my father
the Lemno, because nobody talks to my dad. I call
him the Lemono. And this will let you know the
difference between moms and dads. And I go, hey, Dad,
I got some bad news for you. Angelo Morello passed away.
He goes, hah, I called him. He hasn't called me back.
I go, Dad, because he's dead. He can't call you
back because he's no longer with us. He's dead. I know.
It's just like he should have called me back. I'm like, okay, Dad,
there we go. But that's that's dad's dad's versus moms.
It's just dad's as they get older, Yeah, totally, that
the history of time has worn them down.
Speaker 3: There's this story of Stonewall Jackson in the Civil War
where one of his like lieutenants or something went missing
and then they found his body, and Stonewall Jackson goes
very admirable, very admirable.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Maybe he was the first autistic guy.
Speaker 3: Oh dude, he was weird man. He would like hold
his hand up in the heat of battle because he
thought it bounced like the humors and the body. He
was known to like suck on a lemon. He would
not he didn't believe in sitting in chair.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he didn't believe in sitting in chairs because he
thought it like contorted the digestive system. Very like he
wouldn't fight on Sunday because it's a lord's day.
Speaker 2: Very pair, no war on Sundays.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, he ended up fighting on Sundays, but he
didn't like to. But yeah, really weird. There's a whole
list of weird things that he would do. Stonewall Jackson.
Speaker 2: It's like those Muslim fighters who end up fighting on
Ramadam when they don't want.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or any Muzzlim athlete right now, have you seen
him like fasting and they like, we had this guy
on the soccer team and Charlotte he was just starting
the game as is fast ended, so he was like
scarfing bananas right before it was That's tough, dude, that
is tough.
Speaker 2: I need to do it so bad.
Speaker 3: That's so funny you what you said about your dad.
My mom, I get all that download when she picks
me up from the airport. It's just like the first
thirty minutes of us driving home. Everybody who died, everybody
who got sick. Okay, the most depressing half hour of.
Speaker 2: My but does she set you up like as could
you know what's coming? No, I know, but they love
to get you going. I hain't like it's gonna be
a good story. And then they're like, remember, do you
remember your your third grade teacher?
Speaker 4: You remember how much she loved you?
Speaker 2: She's dead. She died.
Speaker 3: And my dad has a whole other way. If he's
telling me about something like if you would tell me
about Pet's dying, you go, yeah, well Roscoe died today.
Every time, dude, and my entire life, he said exactly
that way, just go, yeah, well.
Speaker 4: You lived in a pet cemetery.
Speaker 3: Everybody, Oh yeah, that's how many pets. Well, you just
had a lot of dogs, you know, we've had a lot.
We just have lived like five there right now.
Speaker 2: If you have five dogs, yeah, there are they all
the same size? Are they different sizes?
Speaker 3: No, there's different sizes. There's two in houses on the farm.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, you got field and he got a house.
Speaker 3: Well, there's a big Connie Corso that's like a kind
of like a big mastiff that lives in the house
of my parents.
Speaker 4: The massif lives in the house.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a small like Boston terry or something French,
something I don't know, that lives with my sister. And
then there's a golden retriever outside, a mastiff outside.
Speaker 2: You'll let the golden retriever inside.
Speaker 3: Not a golden Retriever, a golden lab and uh, he's
a hunting dog. And then there's oh shit, what is
the other one?
Speaker 2: I cannot believe in twenty twenty five people still keep dogs.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 3: And then there's another Knye Corso that lives inside with
my sister. Yes, and we had a bloodhound a couple
of years ago. It's a whole gang of no. But well,
people will have dogs so people don't come in outside
to their property and they want them to eat their ass.
Speaker 2: Unbelievable.
Speaker 3: Doesn't make they have a place to come in and
be warm. I have, We have like a heating lamp
and like an indoor place. But they prefer to be outside.
Speaker 2: Dogs prefer to be outside.
Speaker 3: Of course, they chasing animal, chasing squirrels and ship. They
love that.
Speaker 2: You think Roger the pug wants to be outside?
Speaker 3: Is a pug is a monstrosity of Johnny?
Speaker 2: Shut up, that's my little love buck.
Speaker 3: Do you think that that evolution invented a pug or
do you think people will want to know where weird
smush nose a little freak in Vanina pug.
Speaker 2: Hey, Johnny Hey Sam? So, Uh, I have a daughter.
I have two daughters. I heard about that that I'll
come over all the time. And the one daughter, okay,
the one daughter loves video games. Now she's fo She
loves video games and it's very interesting because the games
she plays are so dumb. And I asked the question
if Minecraft is the dumbest game ever made in the
history of times?
Speaker 3: Did you get snapped?
Speaker 13: Oh?
Speaker 2: I got lit up to the point I had to
change the poll to yes, it's fine. Sam Tripley is retarded. Yeah,
Sam Tripley is retarded one. Uh, but it's a it's
a really ridiculously stupid game. Now, I haven't done the
building part, which is well, everyone tells me that's the game.
What do you mean, Well, we've only done the destruction
part where we destroy stuff.
Speaker 3: The building is the game.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I gotta go do the building part. But now
my daughter has found Roblicks roadblocks. Uh, I own apology
to Minecraft. Roadblocks is even dumber, and Roadblocks whole thing
is to get these kids to pay for things on
there because they don't know how. Thank god, I have
no credits on my rest. My dallar would put me
a g and hole buying all this stuff Fortnite. Same way,
it's just oh, you want to buy this? No, I
don't want to buy this. I just want to wreck shop.
That's all it is.
Speaker 3: My nephew's probably spent just all through his birthday money, shit,
a grand or something, just just a femeral junk on.
You know, it's because you don't have a toy. It's
not like it's a skin on Fortnite you get to
go around looking like Santa Claus or whatever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, in the game, that's all nothing. Yeah, yeah, that's
all it is. And it's just it's just jacking cash
from kids.
Speaker 3: Totally, and they and they know what they're doing because
it's not they have like in Fortnite V Bucks, it's
not dollars. It's not one for one with a dollar.
So you're like, oh, fifteen hundred v bucks, what's that
like ten dollars? Now it's twenty five dollars, dude, you
just ten dollars vs. Twenty five thousands. It's thousands versus God, yes,
you know it's not a one to one, so they.
Speaker 2: So, my daughter is one of those people that loves YouTube.
And I feel bad for kids in LA because they
can't go outside and play. It's a big reason why
I want to move. I want to move to where
they can go outside because when I was her age,
we would just roam the streets.
Speaker 3: Very important, it would.
Speaker 4: It makes parenting a lot easier.
Speaker 3: It's also just healthier.
Speaker 2: You got to get outside, get outside so you don't
become chunky. So we sat, you know, but they're stuck
inside because La is full of predators, so sous doesn't.
My daughter likes to senator pad and watch YouTube. Now,
if we're out doing something, she'll do it. She loves
she'll she'll love do it.
Speaker 4: She just needs something to do.
Speaker 2: She's been in this house since she was a kid,
even though it's only been two years, but two years
of her life is almost half her life. Yeah, you know,
so she she's just looking for something to do.
Speaker 11: My my.
Speaker 2: So she we I give her. We play roadblocks and
whenever she gets to a point she can't deal with it,
she yells for me to come and start a new game.
Right like, whenever she gets stuck somewhere just she gets
stuck somewhere. Stick up the game. She's like, I want
to play a different game. And it was over and
over and over again. So at one point she goes,
I want a different game. And dude, I gave her
the speech that I have been dreaming on giving my
kids for my whole life, even before I had kids.
I was dreaming about giving this kid my kids. The speech. Okay,
it's it's it's it's the speech my father gave me,
which is, you're a tripley. You don't quit, tripley aren't.
And I gave that. I gave her a five minute
speech about how life is tough. Life's tough. Life is
gonna throw stuf that you roadblocks. You gotta get roadblocks. Okay,
you gotta have roadblocks, and you gotta guess what triples do.
We don't quit, I don't raise quitters. Okay, you are tripoli.
You you run towards the problem and you solve the problem.
And when the problem comes, guess what you do? A
little one. You remain calm, You take a deep breath.
And I give her this speech, and dude, I am
in my new Rockney mode. Bro. I am like my
team is down twenty halftime. I gotta get the troops going.
I'm giving her the greatest speech ever. And she's just
staring at me with these dull eyes, taking in about
how greatness always perseveres. You gotta fight through it, life, dude,
Nothing nothing good is easy. Okay. You gotta fight for it, dude. Okay,
because the world there's a million people going for it,
and you gotta. You gotta be work harder, work faster,
be smarter, and cool as the cucumber. You have to
chill out. And I'm giving her this speech and is
going deep going. That's why your father's never given up.
That's why you live in this nice house, because your
dad said, not today, not today, He's gonna do the
best again. He fought through it, even when a thousand
doors closed in his face. He never gave up on it,
never stopped believing in himself, always kept working. So I
need you to get back on that game, and I
need you to finish this game and don't come back
to me until you've dominated this level.
Speaker 4: Okay. And man, I felt so good about myself.
Speaker 2: I just gave it. I gave the greatest speech of
father's ever given to their child. I walked in the
kitchen because Dane said, I go, do you hear that
new Rodney speech I just gave? She goes, she's five
years old, she's five, she's just having fun. What did
you just Why'd you yell at her for ten minutes?
I go, it wasn't yelling, it was passionate. And she
needs to know she's a tripoli and we don't quit
and you don't get it. And I walked out proud
as a dad who just let her kid know. Lets
kid know, we don't raise quitters in this house.
Speaker 3: You think thirty years from now, she'll be like, you know,
my daddy when I was four, what is she five?
Speaker 14: Five?
Speaker 3: Five years old, he gave me the speech about not quitting.
Speaker 2: So well, Johnny, I'm gonna be honest with you. I
remember memories from five years old.
Speaker 3: I got stuck on a level of roadblocks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just my dad just gave me, made.
Speaker 3: Me sit there for five hours until I figured it out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Johnny, what's your earliest memories?
Speaker 3: My earliest memories? Oh uh, like, I definitely remember preschool
so four. Yeah, my kids now in the primership from
like three and two were they remember everything I remember
some early stuff too, for like two and three. Yeap, yep, yeah, No,
I remember a lot of stuff from then.
Speaker 2: She's gonna remember that when she see of whatever company she's.
Speaker 3: I mean, I remember life lessons too from like my grandpa.
He would always say, uh, you know, do it right
the first time so you don't have to do it again. Yeah,
that was he tell me that all even exact little kid, Uh,
being honest, his saying was, if I tell you the
berries are ripe, you can get your bucket. That's what
my grandpa would say. So, uh, yeah, I remember those
little things for sure. I think it's worthwhile doing that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: It's also kind of what parenting is, right, I mean, yeah,
you gotta give.
Speaker 2: Your kids, like your wisdom, wisdom like don't quit get
it in early, work hard, fight harder. You want something,
you gotta fight for it.
Speaker 7: Now.
Speaker 3: There's a fine line between doing that and being and
yelling at them. Well like my dad was with like sports,
you know, and where I was just practicing twenty four
hours a day baseball, you know, you know, just ruining
my life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when did your dad realize you were gay?
Speaker 3: No? I was decent at baseball, Yeah, I was. I
was okay, Well, were you a position? I pitched and
played a second base usually? All right, Johnny, But uh,
I mean I let them most of my good friends
from sports, so I'm a big proponent.
Speaker 2: My brother was so good at everything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wasn't that kind of I had. I was hard.
Speaker 2: My brother could pitch, he could hit, he was a bowler,
he was a golfer. Like my brother was amazing at
everything I played. I was good at nothing.
Speaker 3: I was not good at tennis.
Speaker 2: So, Johnny, do you ever have an uncle that talk
creepy about chicks to you?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: I kind of wish I did. I wish I had
that more of a relationship like that.
Speaker 2: I remember when I was in college, my uncle Lie
would come and see me. He's like, where's the fur at?
I go the fur? The fur?
Speaker 15: What?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 6: The fur?
Speaker 2: Oh dude.
Speaker 3: The generations and their different words.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. I think we've gone too far. I think
boys have just been just debilitated.
Speaker 3: Of course we have. I mean, you have kids now
that are afraid to ask girls out because when are
you a sex pest? You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like, well, Johnny, what about this thing going down with
the impractical jokers.
Speaker 5: Guy.
Speaker 2: It's like, have you seen this? Like I don't even
know what his name is, but like you know, now
all this stuff's coming back about him trying to bang Strange.
Speaker 3: Joe Gotto is accused by a second woman, now a
former employee, of inappropriate behavior, just days after a woman
accused Joe Gatto of sexual shit said the word. A
former employee has come forward with about her negative experiences with.
Speaker 4: Okay, that's that word that starts to get me weird.
Speaker 2: And here we get into this kind of gibberish that
they use to make it sound like it's essay.
Speaker 3: He's denied it and says that he used poor judgment. Yeah,
regarding the first the first accusing.
Speaker 2: So the first two chicks, it's like a Crystal Lea
thing where they're like seventeen years old and hot and
he's like they're going backstage at their favorite celebrity and
any other time nobody would say anything. And I'm not
saying it's right. I'm just like, I'm just saying, like,
you're trying to destroy a guy's career.
Speaker 3: Did he ask amy? Yes, he had just gotten back
together with his wife. I'm sorry you guys, don't want
to hear it.
Speaker 2: But oh my god, Johnny, I've seen I've seen the video.
She says, Oh my god, I'll tell you sometimes like
I've seen that energy before.
Speaker 4: I've seen that energy before, and it's crazy person.
Speaker 3: Oh she's jes As psycho.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if you could play the video, it's like you can.
Speaker 3: Find Antaga pictures.
Speaker 2: Is that what?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: No, well no, no, there's a video where she's like, yeah,
I told you.
Speaker 3: I'm like, not, well, wait, we can't show it's got
she's got like bruises on her asses.
Speaker 2: No, no, not that one. That could be the chick.
But she's talking about it and like she's like, I
went to all these like websites, celebrity websites.
Speaker 4: I went to all but nobody says the police ever.
Speaker 3: I don't know this. I'm not showing this. This is
just you can see this right now. But uh, probably
gonna get taken down. But this is what he did
with his teeth. Oh it's okay, So he better on
the ass.
Speaker 2: It's somewhere along these videos. But you know, I mean, listen,
you have daughters.
Speaker 3: I don't know, do we want to? Is this kind
of weird?
Speaker 2: Like talking about that well, I just feel like we're
in this time right now where it's like where it's
just like, you know, it's such a slippery slope on
what people are talking about, and it just gets to
the point where it's like you could be like, you know,
I mean, like this girl's nineteen years old, you know.
Speaker 3: It's that was his first mistake.
Speaker 2: By the way. Yeah, by the way, guys, if you're
anything over like twenty five, don't bother. It's a waste
of time. It's gonna get you in trouble. Yes, And
it's just like I feel for it, but it's like
I'm also like, if we're talking about sa, why aren't
we going to the cop? Why nobody goes to the cops?
Speaker 3: Completely agree? I mean, especially now. I get it if
it's someone who twenty years ago didn't go to the
cops and now maybe they bring it up, Okay, But
if you're willing to go publicly right now on social
media because the reason you wouldn't take it to the
cops was because you didn't want the heat publicly, right
you'd be afraid of being asxposed as someone who's into
maybe sexual something. I don't know, but you get what
I'm saying, but now, if you're gonna air it out
on social media, then obviously you goes.
Speaker 2: But this is what we're getting into, dude. It's like,
you know, it's like Steve O said, man Like he
said this, he goes, women want famous men more than
men want women, and we try to we completely and
hardly take all that out and we don't act like
that is a part of life. And you're nineteen years old,
you're going backstage to a famous person's thing he's.
Speaker 3: And you got in a position where he could bite
you on the ass.
Speaker 2: I mean, like what what?
Speaker 4: Just so crazy to me, dude.
Speaker 2: So now you get this Harry Sissons guy, and everybody
hates him because he's such a political retard.
Speaker 3: The only people defending him will be the people he's
castigated for the past.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. But they're like, he tried to get
nudes out of me. What are you talking about. He's
a twenty year old kid. Yeah, that's the currency of today.
That's what's happening. Women send nudes like it's nothing Like
you're acting like he's just put a gun to your head.
You're a progressive woman. He's a progressive, like I hate
to say cultural icon at that moment, big with that side.
Speaker 3: You know how hard it used to be in the
days of early digital cameras to get nudes from a one? Yeah, anymore,
I had to work so hard to get nudes anytime.
I had to just keep my ears open anytime a
girl was like, yeah, I got a new digital camera
and then I had to get on AOL instant messenger
and get to know that girl. Yeah, so much easier. Hey,
they got the Treasure Trove in their hidden folder in
their iPhone.
Speaker 2: It's just so ridiculous. Uh, it's just a read. It's
just it's just like, and listen all that guy in
like the DNC has dropped him as an influencer, and
it's like, yeah, yeah, So basically the DNC dropped him
because they found out he was straight and loved pussy.
Speaker 3: That's so right, dude, You're so right.
Speaker 2: You're like, oh, you're in the pussy. Okay, bye, it's
either a pussy or get out.
Speaker 3: Not our that's not our brand. Baby.
Speaker 2: But it's just like, it's this is how it is, man,
this is how it is. And it's just like, dude,
essay is gross. It's disgusting, but it's ill, it's illegal, okay.
And like when you got thirty eight year old guy
with a fifteen year old girl, that's pretty bad fifteen Yeah,
well no, not her. This is the other story that
nobody goes after. Oh yes, right, nobody goes after that guy.
But they're trying to destroy this dude.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how it works. Which I mean, Harry Syston
would be a guy you would think would be a
from this because of his political connections.
Speaker 2: With and it's just he wanted nudes, dude, Like, think
about that.
Speaker 3: The other thing that's added to that equation, the Steve
O equations. I mean, women strike to be famous themselves,
and they viewed this kind of thing as being famous.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, I mean it's like Dave Chapelle talked about
Monk Lewinsky. Yeah, you know, you made when you're famous
for fucking a famous person. The Real Housewives of whatever, whatever,
they're just chicks who fucked guys who did something.
Speaker 3: And they treat Monica lewis actual heavyweight like you.
Speaker 4: Know, yeah, she's a massade.
Speaker 2: But anyways, the pole point is like the dynamic is
so and this is why guys don't want to This
is why these young guys are coming up going I
don't need this, dude.
Speaker 3: These NBA they have before these guys get drafted. Now
they go to boot camp where they learn to identify
gold digging women. You know, I mean they have to
educate them. That's how serious of a problem it is
for these rich young men.
Speaker 2: It's just did you ever hear the Derrek Rosse well
with all the girl like the gang mang No, yeah,
with the one chick and she said she let his
friends hit it because she thought he would get jealous,
and when he didn't, she took him to court.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: Did you see?
Speaker 2: And more and more, dude, it's just getting to the
fact that, like, listen, are you getting a marriage? Yeah,
that's that's supposed to be till death to your part.
But it's obvious that doesn't happen. And now because all
these guys are doing this, they lose their careers. It's
just like so crazy to me that, like whatever, you
don't know what's happening in his relationship. You don't know
what's going on.
Speaker 3: It's funny though, because in public life, the standard for
getting you, they used to be better at hiding stuff,
But the standard when stuff came out was way lower,
Like if you found you were found to have done
any kind of infidelity or anything you were done publicly,
like you were a persona persona nongrad as a politician
forever that was right, right.
Speaker 2: And then it was gay, and now that's gone, and
now it's uh, now it's whatever, the awful stuff. But
the whole point is just like whatever. You know, It's like,
you don't know what's going on that guy's relationship.
Speaker 3: No, maybe it's an open relationship.
Speaker 2: And you know, it's so funny, is like his wife,
Let's say she stays with them, then they'll give her ship.
They're mad because he cheated, and then when she stays
with them, they're mad because he she stayed with them.
Speaker 3: Did you every now and then little hents come out
to the kind of Bill Gates has done a really
good job of hiding the kind of guy he really is.
But I was watching Bill Maher this week and he
had Dana Carvey on and he told this story about
an encounter with Bill Gates that is like a little
peak behind the curtain to who the real guy is,
the kind of terminator guy he is, funny Uh, I'm
then you need to hear this story about Bill. It's
not the clip, okay. So h Dana Carvey goes on
uh mar and it's telling the story about how he
got booked to do.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: I hope they have the clip the church Lady at
a Microsoft event.
Speaker 2: Yah.
Speaker 3: And he at first he was like, no, I don't.
I don't book out that character. But they came in
with just a massive amount of money apparently to get
him to do it. So he agreed and he gets
there and it's him and Gates on stage, and I'm
hoping that this is so that will say we can
have one hundred billion dollars, but we have to go
through life looking like a turtle. That's what you're saying.
Speaker 9: Stage.
Speaker 2: Take it what you feel that he looks like a turtle.
Speaker 7: He was a joke.
Speaker 2: Oh man, he does not look like an amphibious creature.
Speaker 3: I appreciate the funny stuff up from but that went
too far, dude. So like with the sicca fhants in
the room, they were not having him making fun of Bill.
Speaker 2: Gates's so crazy to be that's a funny ass hilarious.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So he continues, and so he walked off. Then
he walked up, well then forgets walks up her dance
because the whole thing is like is who flet deflating?
It's really tense. And then he goes, I go, let's
do the Sparry dance. He goes, no, thank you, goodbye,
and he just walked off. Yeah, and so he continues,
they don't I guess they don't have rights to the
full claper. So he goes back backstage and Gates is
back there, and it's like the the it's like a funeral,
you know, and Gates is, I mean just death eyes.
Everybody around him is like like death eyes. And he
felt uncomfortable and I had to get out of there.
It's really like just for telling a little joke about
him looking like a turtle and selling his soul to Satan.
I mean, dude, that's the other thing he said. By
the way, he was like, oh, did you sell your
soul to Satan?
Speaker 2: Saan? Yeah, which should be a big laugh.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, I mean in any other room it would
have been. But apparently Gates was just had no sense
of humor about himself, Like, I can't believe.
Speaker 2: The guy wants to depopulate everybody doesn't have a sense of.
Speaker 3: Humor, isn't it isn't that crazy that that you would
bring Dana Carvey there and not expect to get roasted
a little, you know, by by the church lady character.
Speaker 2: Well he walked off stage, dude, Well, the truth is
that he is surrounded by yes, people who only kiss
his ass. Nobody's on It's like he's the equivalent of
Hillary Clinton. Nobody tells her that she's despised by people,
and everybody who shows up is on the is on
the is on the payroll. And it's just like this
thing about La It's like they picked up a comic
at the comedy store who was on Hillary Clinton's like
Apple show, who is like notoriously progressive and like say
nasty shit the male comedians. And you're like, you're with
someone who's attributed to mass murderer in the Middle East.
What are you fucking talking.
Speaker 3: About, Funny, dude, The standards are just so no.
Speaker 2: But it just gets in Johnny to like, everything that's
going on right now, everything that's going on in the
world right now, is this progressive movement who who the
theory of hate completely and utterly outweighs on the ground
real life consequences totally, the theory of hate, like the
whole thing about like Bill Berger getting nuts about the
Kyle Hitler. It's like, dude, he's the left.
Speaker 3: Nobody.
Speaker 2: Why did the Ukraine to be funded, which was directly
funding funding Ukraine Nazis. It's like they didn't even hide it.
They were like, dude, they were coming over with their
SSS patches on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean did the guy with.
Speaker 2: The ss patch meet with fucking Joe Biden? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I heard that, and I think they were unbelievable.
Speaker 2: And you like, you want to get mad about a
Roman salute?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the elites of their unit are.
Speaker 2: My favorite thing was when Bill Burr was like, you know,
we had to commit war crimes to stop them. I'm like,
you're you're exclude your you're you're explaining away what we
did badly, like the nasty shit.
Speaker 3: What's he talking about there? I don't understand.
Speaker 2: So he was going off about how like, you know,
Elon Musk did the Nazi salute, and there's like, you know,
how many Americans had to die stopping that guy, which
is buying into a narrative that was us to stop them,
not the fuck and Russians. That's wrong.
Speaker 3: The Brits. Yeah, I lost so many more people.
Speaker 2: Than hey, well you know it was we can get
into but Russians lost the most by by far.
Speaker 3: They had the most people by far, of course, but yeah,
they I mean.
Speaker 2: And then he, you know, and then he's like, you know,
we have to commit war crimes to stop them. You're like, you're, you're,
you're you're telling that as a joke.
Speaker 3: Though, no, we had to commit war crime.
Speaker 2: No, No, he's being dead serious. And I just go,
I just don't get how someone like that could get
offended by something so stupid. And you know, it's like
the notion at ohile Hitler is this fucking war crime
culturally is so dumb to me when we're literally funding
Nazis in the Ukraine, Like it's not even like, dude,
we're giving them weapons, they're ethnically cleansing Christians in the Ukraine.
Speaker 3: And you're worried about Kyle Hitler's Yeah, way less of
a sense of humor than you would have thought for
somebody so funny, Bill Burr, you know what I mean,
Like you.
Speaker 2: Just well, it just gets to the point where, dude,
like these old school liberals. The fucking the political spectrum
has moved and it's caused them to become what they hated.
Speaker 3: You know what I don't hate is the tin hat
cat coin. The official crypto partner whoa the Broken Simulation podcast.
It's nice she is the Uh. The contract address for
the ten hat cat coin will be at the end
of this episode. You'll see if you want to get
into it. We talked about last week, the guy Kyle there.
Speaker 2: We know him.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 3: This is a to be clear, they're sponsoring us, so
we're not saying we don't. I don't know anybody personally.
I've talked to the guy. I guessed it on a
Twitter space with him. He seems like a really cool guy.
I know the community around there the coin is bad
at I mean, it's just a bunch of cool people
who all are like conspiracy mind like us. It's a
lot of overlap with people who listen to tenfo hat.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: But again, you know it, we say it all the
time on cash daddies. Check that out.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 3: Don't invest anything you can't afford to lose, obviously, but
if you are looking to get in the crypto, maybe
check out the ten hat cat coin. Again th c
is uh is the name there, and you can find
the contract address. That's how you make sure that you're
getting into the right coin at the end of this,
along with some instructions at the end of the episode.
But yeah, it's a cool project they have as a
bunch of people making like art. They have this pink
cat that is the thing I've seen. Yeah, it's everywhere
on Twitter. So yeah, I think, I mean it's uh.
I mean, I'm sitting on a bag right now. I'm
gonna keep it. I'm gonna hold it. Let's let's write
it to the moon. But it doesn't go to the moon.
I'm totally fine.
Speaker 4: Let's not invest everything we know all into it.
Speaker 2: Please just a little sorry, a little bit, just a
little bit here, a little bit there, a little bit there.
Speaker 3: But they seem like cool people.
Speaker 4: You seem like good people.
Speaker 2: The official crypto we don't want joy to get hot
tued Okay, Johnny.
Speaker 3: Ten hat Cat presenting this story this little news preview Haktua.
She came out and tried to clarify what happened and
said that they're still sorting through it. Let me see
if I can find this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's screwed. They set her up too well.
Speaker 3: Do you think she's telling the truth, that's the question.
Here's what this is from the Daily Mail. This is
what she had to say.
Speaker 4: Dude, she just is gone.
Speaker 3: Dude, she got just snatched from the public eye. Here
she is right here, can I is there a thing
that can see it?
Speaker 16: Fans and all the people that actually watch my stuff
and they keep up with me. We're trying to sort
out all the pieces and stuff, like get all this
figured out.
Speaker 17: And make everything right.
Speaker 16: Oh my god, I'm gonna cry. It was supposed to
be like a what do they call it? A long
term coin? And the guy that ran the account, he
was like, Oh, we're gonna change like the way everybody
thinks of crypto. Crypto is gonna be a good place.
And I feel really bad for all the people they
got affected by it and it just didn't go the
way I plan.
Speaker 2: She's a weird chick because like there's that there's that
southern love that we see, that trang we feel for.
But man, you see when she has these moments where
like the switch comes and she's she's sassy, black slitting throats.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like.
Speaker 2: You know, the viral people that go viral that just
don't know why you never hear from them again. There
was a whole thing put together, and you know what,
Normally I would be feel bad for her, but that
I know that her people sued the guy who shot
the video, claiming they owned the rights to it.
Speaker 3: You're you're just not a good person. Yeah, And we
can only explain away so much.
Speaker 2: At some point, you're the person giving the green light
to shit, yes, and you know so that's that's it.
Speaker 3: So anyway, that was that story of an actual scam
was sponsored by ten hackat There you go. They are
our official crypto partner here at Broken Simulation. Check those
guys out, Kyle. Do you want to do some reviews?
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do some reviews. All right.
Speaker 3: We got a couple of reviews and a couple of
voicemails here. Actually, I I'll play the voicemails first.
Speaker 2: You've got mail.
Speaker 3: Here's one for you, Samuel.
Speaker 5: All right, hey, guys, this would be our language from Alabama.
I gotta make this creek. I'm a say your father's there, boys,
Matt the most one of the most proudest times in
my life, when my seventeen year old was when he
was little and hit or he's a three point show.
My leven hero was when he here inside the park
home run. But now looking back, I think the best
time in my father's life for boys is when he
come out of the bathroom earlier from taking a dunk,
shack his phone, nothing but there. You know, once she
realized you growed up a sign and he's not gay,
I think that might see a proud but one of
the proudest fathers she could ever be in your whole
entire life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a hot Yeah, dude, I respect the ship
out of at. I really do.
Speaker 4: The fact that your son's got nudes everywhere just.
Speaker 2: Close for you. I don't even where do you say? Alabama? Yeah,
he's good for you because that'd be hard to grow
have a gay son in Alabama. But good for you,
uh big. You know, my daughter is super smart. She's
very smart, and she she does things at her own pace.
And for the longest time, she would not poop in
the toilet. She didn't want poop in the toilet. She
wants pooping a pull up. Oh okay, okay, And you
like negotiate with them, they can't. My daughter's finally shitting
in the toilet. If you understand how huge and excited
I am, I can imagine. Yes, it's the greatest feeling
ever that your daughter has dropped deuce in a toilet.
I can't tell you how happy and proud I am
of ghost. She should be proud of herself. And now
you got bribe these kids with like like toys from Target.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a big one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we we were getting We're going to Target.
It's a big it's a big day in the Tripley family.
They're dropping deuces in a toilet.
Speaker 3: It's my nephew. He gets Fortnite skins. That's his big thing.
It's just Fortnite, all Fortnite.
Speaker 2: She loves playing video games. And I don't really mind
her playing video games because I know she got really
good at it.
Speaker 3: You're just gonna make sure she's not talking to strangers
on there.
Speaker 2: No, that's it. That's it. And like I've had a
lot of talks with her, dude, and it's really really weird,
you know, because they're just little bundles of love and energy,
and now they're there's wolves out there. There's fucking wolves
out up there.
Speaker 3: One more call here.
Speaker 2: That was a great call. Yo, that's called the Year,
So call Year. Okay, put it up there. Can you
write that down? Mark write that down, Mark write that down?
Thank you.
Speaker 1: And Johnny Sinless the spin Striss, Yo, it's the fantastic
Trips and Johnny Sinless the spin Striss on them ones.
Speaker 3: And two spinstres.
Speaker 6: Just wanting to give props and listening to T FH
for long ass time.
Speaker 1: So I think five or seven or whatever the hell
it is now here I am. I'm Broken Simulation. Got
a couple of things. Number one, I love the new
format made. You guys are doing the right thing.
Speaker 12: I think you.
Speaker 1: I love seeing Broken Simulation evolved. Man, you guys are
doing the goddamn thing.
Speaker 2: Thanks for free yo.
Speaker 3: Get that g I'll forgive you for taking our Lord's
name in vain.
Speaker 6: Oh of l a, Yo, I'm serious. Those tiers were
happening and I was worried about you guys. Remember what
am I for or whatever it is, It don't matter. Listen.
I'm coming to see Sam Tripley live at the Comedy
Bar on Woodward in Detroit March twenty eighth and twenty ninth.
I got VIP tickets from me my lady for the
early show on Saturday. I can't wait to fucking see you.
Please bring some T shirts, man, I'm specifically looking for
a hoodie with that conspiracy looks like the Champion though
you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 12: I can't find it on the website. Shout out the graphics, villain, man,
love that motherfucker. Listen, you guys are doing the damn thing.
Please you'll see me in the crowd Saturday, March twenty ninth,
seven PM show. I'll be the one on the upside
down in LA hat with the Conspiracy looking like a
Champion T shirt.
Speaker 6: But I'm looking for that hoodie.
Speaker 12: Yo.
Speaker 1: You guys are killing it man, love.
Speaker 2: You, love you dude, a lot of energy.
Speaker 4: Love that guy. That was almost like a pro wrestling romo.
Speaker 2: I'll be there March twenty eighth. I'll see you show.
I'll be there with the La upside down hat and
then shoot, that's says Conspiracy breaking the heat. You better
say hi, I'm bring a hoodie. I'm not bringing a hoodie, dude.
I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 3: I'm just anymore. It's too big to fit in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just hard to travel with, he says, they're not.
Speaker 3: Listening online though, the conspiracy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got to bring them back once they stop selling.
Speaker 4: He kind of takes them off for a little while.
Speaker 3: Rotate him out.
Speaker 2: I got you.
Speaker 3: Okay, we'll do a couple of reviews. Now, please help
us game this system, because we're getting so screwed. We
should say this first. I want to apologize to everybody
software through millions of ads we figured out that they're
doing now that we just got an alert the other day.
YouTube is going behind us now after we set the ads,
I have to manually. If you don't set the set
your own ads like placements, they will put an AD
every two minutes literally sometimes less than that. Yeah, how
can you listen to a two hour pod with two
at an AD every two minutes?
Speaker 2: Thank you, Johnny.
Speaker 3: It's clear now we've talked about it. It's clear they're
trying to drive people to YouTube premium where you that's it,
and possibly trying to kill this podcast.
Speaker 2: Uh, because people don't understand it. They don't like us. No,
I would like you know, dude, you know there's also
something freeing that maybe we're not that good. I'll accept
I would love to know that.
Speaker 4: Be like, yeah, dude, you're not good. Okay, I'll accept that.
Speaker 2: But knowing that this channel used to get one hundred
and fifty thousand, like when you see other comedy podcasts
getting those numbers, that's what we used to get.
Speaker 3: Nothing has changed appreciably about your product, you know. I
mean it's the same old youth.
Speaker 4: I would tell you broken sims probably gotten better.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree. Yeah. So the other thing is now
we get this pop up the other day that they
are now going behind us and inserting ads unless we
opt out of it, out of it, but so there,
So if you had this experience of an ad every
two fucking minutes, that's what happened, and I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 2: Please, you're sorry. Please come back.
Speaker 3: The other thing, Sam, if you're listening, please don't go.
Sam is just a few hundred away, subscribers.
Speaker 2: I'm bagging you.
Speaker 4: Do you think we were your flagged for copyright?
Speaker 2: Because that was so good? I don't know what good
Anita love The minute you walk out that I don't know,
Please don't go. You don't know that song.
Speaker 4: I don't know that it's a classic.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's just you know, you don't go way, Sam
is just a few hundred subscribers away on YouTube from
one hundred and fifty thousand. So if you're listening to this,
please head over to YouTube dot com slash Sam Tripoli
and subscribe there, set.
Speaker 2: Up subscribe and then go back at hour and subscribe again.
Speaker 3: Leave a comment. It helps us game the algorithm, and
most importantly, please leave a review in whatever podcasting app
you're in. If you do that and take a screenshot
of it and send it to me on Twitter, you'll
get a follow back from the Broken Sam Twitter. So
we're gonna read some we read.
Speaker 4: Also, Johnny's a fall back girl.
Speaker 3: I'm a follow back girl.
Speaker 2: Hey, no cop it back now, follow back. I just
butchered that. It's so funny. I just listening to this
this like this outdoor concert in l A. And they
have like Gwen Steffanie ain't no hollow back girl, like
they just do that. Yeah, it's so funny. Now what
was the song by? I used to bang the Hottest
Stripper when I was Oh those are sorry, I didn't
tell dude. I went to Vegas. Oh yeah, real quick,
Yeah too, I went to Vegas. It was pretty okay.
So we're gonna because Johnny.
Speaker 3: Said he wanted to be out of here quickly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I got here late. I owe Johnny an apology.
Speaker 3: No you don't, it's okay, I'm late.
Speaker 12: So I I uh.
Speaker 2: I got asked to do Jake Shields podcast, which should
be fireworks. It was fun, it was good. Oh Jake,
Jake Shields does not get the amount of respect he
gets for all the people he beat in m m A.
Like he beat Dan Henderson. Like how crazy is that?
Like that's crazy, dude, Like he built beat real, real murderers.
Uh so we want this podcast is great. It was
a lot of fun.
Speaker 4: So I did that. We're doing a swapcast.
Speaker 3: What does he talk about?
Speaker 2: He'll talk about whatever you want to talk about, and
then eventually within three minutes is about the Jews. Well,
you know, and I'm just like, you know, we we
had a great conversation. Both of us agree, and you
know this is this is the only thing afforded to
Jews that they never afford to anybody else, which is
it's not all them. There's no other group you do
that with, by the way, right, you never be like, oh,
there's a gang problem in the black community, but it's
not all blacks. You never do that right, like, oh dude,
you know the the Italian mob. It's really bad, but
it's not all Italians. Nobody, nobody ever does that, you know,
because just tearing things up over yea, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you know these Islamic terrors, but no Islamics. You know,
you never do that with anybody, you know, And that
just proves how sensitive people are to Jewish people. We
love that, you know. So we had that conversation. It
was a great common he was fun. So we're gonna
put out the same episode the same time. We did
an old fashioned swapcast. It's gonna go on both of ours,
His and mine fight Back podcast and ours fight Back,
so we'll look for that.
Speaker 4: So we go out there, we have a great time,
had a lot of fun.
Speaker 5: We uh.
Speaker 2: Then I go to Brian Callen show, and Brian Callen
is a fucking killer. He's one of the best comics
out there. His his opener features a guy named.
Speaker 3: See It What touring and he was in Vegas or
what or it just had a date like a weekend thing.
Speaker 2: Uh he no, he just did a weekend in New
York or New York. His opener name was Evan, who
looks like autistic, Charlie Brown, like this guy who very
funny opener. He looked like if Dan Bogiano and and
Charlie Brown had a baby and it was autistic. That's
what this guy Evan looked like. And then Nick Nick
who uh is his feature on the road is Nick
Simmons is a absolute crusher and he's a great comic.
And it was fun to share the stage with all
those guys.
Speaker 3: So you're always just so careful to name everybody and say, hell,
good a job they did. It's very generous of you.
It's one of your good traits. I'd like to tell
the truth, I know, but you always you're just Most
people don't like, yeah, it was good weekend.
Speaker 2: Because they were great. I got the pop on Brian's show,
which was always fun. Great crowd, Brian, Brian Kellen crowds
are some of the best crowds. They're not Sam Tripley crowds,
but they are great crowds. My crowds are the best crowds.
And everyone knows that.
Speaker 3: Is it like a bizarro universe. When you're in front
of Brian Collen people where they think he won every debate.
Speaker 2: On connect Ever, even Brian fans know I won really ok, right,
But the funny thing is, like Brian have me do
a charity event for him in Venice, and the West
Side is the worst side for comedy. It's the best
side for uh living sobriety and living like sobriety. Like
if you want to get sober, West side of LA
the best place in the country. There's no better place
gets sober than the West side of Los Angeles in
the country. It's like it's gorgeous people who've succeeded in
life and they have everything you want. And they're all
old drug addicts. They've done everything a thousand times and
they're really laid back, good people. So you know, so
I'm due to show with him.
Speaker 11: You know.
Speaker 2: I also know when I'm gonna do Briankelen's show, there's
gonna be a little bit of shock and awe because
he's a let's just say, Brian Kellen has a very
polished crowd. Like if you ever look at Brian Keln's Instagram,
he only hangs out with pretty people, Like I'm his
most unattractive friend.
Speaker 4: It's not even close.
Speaker 2: Like I have the worst angles and body fat number
out of anybody hangs out with. They're all good looking people.
Speaker 3: He does real, real movies and stuff, like, dude, he's he's.
Speaker 2: A real g Brian Kellen is the best comic. He's
in that group that I always say, that's Tony Rock,
Brian Callen, Amir Kay, Tony, I always said to it,
Ornie Adams, Okay, Dustin Yard bro. Those are like five
guys who are just absolute murderers, And you're like, why
aren't they the biggest people in the world. And they're
gonna be They're gonna they'll always be great, They'll always
be working.
Speaker 4: Comedy is just weird, right.
Speaker 2: I was listening to Sam Hyde and I love Sam Hide,
and Sam Hyde was talking about how comedy's never been
bigger and but it's never been worse.
Speaker 3: Wait does see talk? Where are you hear him?
Speaker 2: He has a YouTube channel show and I check it out.
I'll jump in for like, I can only watch anyone's
podcast for only a couple of minutes because I just
don't want to be influenced. But I love Sam Hide
and he was talking about comedy. So he's talking about
like there's a lot of guys playing arenas that he
doesn't think I have that much talent, and I think there.
Speaker 4: I think there are guys in the arena.
Speaker 2: That are great, and there's also some hot garbage out
there right now, some hot garbage. But but he's talking
about how there's like like, you know, you go, why
isn't Brian Callen one of the biggest comics in the world.
And I'm sure torments him. It's just comedy right now.
It's just like who It's all what we call the
Elvis Hitler factor. Some people have, some people don't. I
don't know what it is.
Speaker 4: Brian does have that. It's just it's just a weird
fucking thing.
Speaker 2: But I know what I'm going to do is show
that they're gonna be a little shocked by what I say,
and then I tell them I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 4: I go get quiet. I don't care. Get quiet. I
don't care. I don't care. Get quiet.
Speaker 2: That might be the name of my next special, Get quiet,
I don't care. I still call on the last one,
just quiet, Right, Yeah, why is everybody getting quiet?
Speaker 3: You can't be too?
Speaker 2: I know, Well, I'm gonna put out that that in
that crowd work one, I call it pottymout, like I
just had to sit down and go through it. I'll
probably do it this weekend. But yeah, it was great
to do it. It was great to perform in front
Brian Cowen and his crowds are great there. It's a
packed house. He's just like he's just one of those
killers out there. And so I did his show and
then we ran over to Sapphires. Johnny, will you look
up Sapphires?
Speaker 1: Is it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Sounds like, Johnny, what do you want to see about it?
Speaker 2: Just look at the girls at work there. It's insanity.
Speaker 3: It's like a level of hot where you would finally well,
just go to their website.
Speaker 2: They'll have girls hanging out be like, come down, say
hi to Beyonce.
Speaker 3: I'm looking at it right. It's got like they.
Speaker 2: Don't have future dancers, Like, here's one of our dancers.
Speaker 9: Is that it?
Speaker 2: That's the end? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, I mean like it's like a wrestling after
they're so.
Speaker 2: Go down, it's go down there. It's it's they're just
gorgeous people. So they want me to run a comedy
show out of there. Oh you mentioned that, and we'll
see if I can make it happen. You said it
was like next door to Yeah, it's not it's not
in this classy joint. Well it's a strip bar, so
it's not not classy. No, it's it's wonderful. The people
are so nice. I always said I worked at a
strip bar back in the day, and it was the
nicest people I've ever worked with, because nobody was there
to get promoted. They just wanted to make money. So
everyone was cool. They're like, yeah, dude, we're just here
to make cash. We're not trying to move up the
corporate ladder, right, Yeah, I got it, so you know,
and you just go there and it's like every flavor
you ever wanted in your life is there. Every flavor.
If you want to black chick with a fat ass
and tiny tits, she's there.
Speaker 3: Did you partake?
Speaker 2: No, Johnny. But it was so funny because dance No,
because and it's so funny because like it's such a
primal you love giving up money? Well, I'll get into it, Johnny.
It's such a primal, Like what's the word I'm looking for, ecosystem.
It's so primal. I'm watching I'm walking with all of
the executives who run the place. They're they're walking me
and Tino Sanchez around Tino, because Tino's my boy. When
I'm in Vegas, we hang out. He's walking me around.
They're walking me around, and hand to God, the strippers
are all staring at us, going, why are you getting
escorted around by the fucking brass who run everything?
Speaker 11: You know?
Speaker 4: So we go there, we check it out. It's a
great thing.
Speaker 2: So as I'm leaving there having merchandise, they have merch
tables of sports memorabilia that they're doing a charity event for.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, yes, yes, And I.
Speaker 2: Got data gift. I got her as signed autograph from
Sandy Kofax.
Speaker 3: Can you write that off? I wonder on your Texas?
I bet you if it's for my charity? Yeah, yeah, bang,
that's good dude. You're welcome the Jersey Sun jerseys over this.
Speaker 2: What do you say? No, I got it, I got,
I got, I got. I bought three things.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know that, that's what I was trying to get.
Speaker 2: A Sandy cofex. I bought a signed thing. You know,
Dana loves the Dodgers. She's Jewish. That's like the number one,
number one jew of all time. And then Ellen Iverson.
You know, I'm a Georgetown dude, I'm thinking about getting
all my favorite teams national championships somewhere on my leg
right where I just put the year that they won,
bang bang, Right.
Speaker 3: You just buy like a penny from the year they
won or something like that. You don't have to put
on your.
Speaker 4: Body, Johnny. I live for my teams.
Speaker 2: So I got, I got, I got. They just sold
to Patrick Ewing. He's like, I just sold it. I'm like, fuck,
he goes bo I got to say on on Iverson
Jersey signed, I'm like, let's go.
Speaker 3: Sounds like somebody spent a lot of money, not a lot.
Speaker 2: And then I got bo Jackson signed Jersey too.
Speaker 3: Sounds like somebody spent a lot of money.
Speaker 2: It was a lot, but it was a blessing and
I'm very excited, very excited. So yeah, yeah, probably shouldn't
have done that.
Speaker 3: They probably sit that out waiting for somebody to walk by.
We got another sucker.
Speaker 4: We got another sucker, but I don't care.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 3: Larry, can you sign another kofax Jersey?
Speaker 16: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Quickly one.
Speaker 4: So that's it, Johnny, That's my story.
Speaker 3: It really when you think about that whole industry though, Like, dude,
if you can find somebody here, because what the process is, right,
You get an autograph and if you don't have any documentation,
you can send it to a PSAH who authenticates things
and they just compare it to other autographs. So if
you can forge an autograph well enough and come up
with like a fake chain of custoder or something like,
it's so easy. Probably certified, probably, Johnny, thank you. No,
But isn't that? I mean it's interesting.
Speaker 2: But they have like a Lebron James, like early rookie
year jersey there. Yeah, it was crazy, dude, it was crazy.
You know what's so funny that nobody's talking about? How
much is Lebron James rookie.
Speaker 3: Worth is the rookie card? Yeah it's a good number. Yeah,
it's a really good number. Hold On, I'll tell you.
Let me go to card ladder.
Speaker 2: Hold On, I got it on my phone, Johnny, have
you seen that? Uh, everybody's talking about how the Luca
trade isn't working out now and for whom for the
Lakers really liked. It wasn't a good trade. I go,
Lebron isn't playing he has barely played.
Speaker 3: No, Yeah, I mean I don't I don't care about
the Laker.
Speaker 2: I love Luca.
Speaker 3: Let's see. Oh with thousands?
Speaker 4: Yeah, what is the Michael Jordan Johnny, just let me
know how bad my dad f me?
Speaker 3: Wait, did he get rid of one of the No?
Speaker 2: I could have bought him for eighty dollars.
Speaker 3: Eighty dollars way back in the day on my birthday
in good condition and good condition. Oh, it's tens of
I mean it's it's my father would buy. Dad.
Speaker 2: This is a Michael Jordan rookie card. It's gonna be
worth Oh yeah, it's gonna be worth a bazillion dollars.
It is only eighty dollars right now? Can we buy
it's my birthday? Nope?
Speaker 3: Like now this is there. I'll just show you some.
But I mean it depends on the grade, of course.
But there's one for twenty nine eight hundred and a
near mint.
Speaker 7: What is that?
Speaker 3: Is that an eight? Yeah, that's an eight PSA eight.
There's a PSA four for thirty two hundred that's in
like bad condition. Uh, you got one for thirty three
hundred there, and then you got a gem Ment ten
for a half a mill.
Speaker 2: Half a mill, dude, What if my dad could got
me a half a milk.
Speaker 3: Card now gym mint ten. That doesn't mean that, like
there are most of the cards I'll get out of
a new pack won't be tens even like a new
because there'll be off center a little bit, especially today.
But if yeah, if you could have got a nine
or ten, you're talking like life changing psalms.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Free, we'll read these reviews and then we'll do the
news and we will be out show.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's go.
Speaker 3: Thanks for all you do. This is from Hate's work
five five, one, seven seven. We need people spreading the
truth now more than ever. Keep going deeper, deeper, that's
what she said, one of the chicks who never misses
an episode.
Speaker 2: That's How about the Ocho Cinco things where she goes
keep going deeper, and he's like, I went as deep
as I could.
Speaker 4: So he paid for a penis enlargement.
Speaker 3: Ocho Cinco did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, did you ever hear that story? He went on
stephen A. Smith and told that story. I have not
heard that. She kept saying go deeper and he couldn't
go deeper? Is that real? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Because I don't think there are any good surgeries, Like
I don't think that's a he did.
Speaker 2: How about the billionaire that that got he wanted to
get penis enlargement and died.
Speaker 13: Oh look, and I was losing my virginity. So we
could engage in horizontal activity.
Speaker 2: Yes, not vertical.
Speaker 17: It was horizontal. Okay, matter of fact, it was vertical.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, keep going.
Speaker 17: And she got to the point where we were in action,
and she said in my ear, go deeper. Stay with
me now. And what hurt me is I was already
all the way in.
Speaker 13: So I had ran out of Pepe and that is
what caused me to get into the amateur porn so
I could perfect my craft in the pelvic area so
I would never have to hear that again.
Speaker 17: You do understand the cameras of role, Yeah, you understand.
Speaker 2: I mean, do you really really want people to know this?
I mean I can edit it out.
Speaker 13: No no, no, no, no, no, no, don't edit it out.
I told you I don't have a private life. I'm
here to share. I'm here to share my stories and
my shortcomings. Back then, I've had surgery since small story.
I was in high school at the time.
Speaker 17: Oh lord, so good.
Speaker 13: So what you're trying to say is that who you
are now completely its manufactured because it was surgically in hand.
Speaker 17: Yes, sir, yes, sir, and you know you that.
Speaker 13: Yeah, And I'm I'm comfortable saying that, and I can
tell you it's just something you would never be able
to get on TV.
Speaker 17: That's why were on your show.
Speaker 3: Now you Well, there's a couple of things I think
they do. There's one where they like stick some ship
in there, like filler, which that's like a bad idea apparently,
and then there's one where they just cut like this
tendon above your dick and it just makes it hang
out a little bit more. But it's not it doesn't
really do any I don't think they have anything that
that makes it bigger. Yeah, there's these guys that like
overseas and like indie or something that wrap it around
like a stick and they pull on it, you know,
and it's supposed to.
Speaker 2: Off.
Speaker 3: No, they do it to themselves. It's not the other dudes.
They do it to their own. But that you think
he's serious, No, yeah, I don't think so.
Speaker 2: He's a pro athlete, dude, he's no, he's got he
brings hand. He's just trying to make fun of He's
just trying to have fun. See fists like he's like,
oh man, this gold by God to act like I
don't care because I'm on Yeah, whoa brother. So Jason
Tebow called me today He's like, I got a brilliant idea.
Speaker 1: Dog.
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm gonna get dude, we gotta do this.
And he sends me this theater he wants me, him
and maybe Ari to play. It's fucking humongous. I'm like,
who's gonna sell this out?
Speaker 3: Why does he call it a brilliant idea? Booking a
comedy show? How is that a brilliant well, because like let's.
Speaker 2: Say, like maybe Ari could sell it out, but why
would he want to share that money when they're all
these fucking fans.
Speaker 3: So basically, this is the brilliant idea is for Jason
to get a piece of an Ari comedy show. That
is brilliant.
Speaker 2: He's like, look at this. I'm like, we can't sell
that out.
Speaker 3: That's great. I love it. I'm a lizard person and
this is my favorite show. I'll see you at the
next Gay Illuminati meeting. Sam five Star by Buddy it's
from that man zeus uh dre five Stars? Is it
Trey uh Invader Zim writes, uh from one of your
few black listeners. Been watching Sam and his podcast for
about four years. Truth with a blend of comedic gold
love all you guys do. Never stop from Newark, just
another twelve C eight five stars. You guys like having fun.
I like having fun. That's why I like listening to
Sam and Johnny. If you're exploring their podcast, give it
a go.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: They have thought provoking discussions.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: You can ponder throughout the day and you'll be cooler.
Speaker 2: I feel like today was a great show.
Speaker 3: I totally agree Sam five Stars. I got a strange story.
I was bottom, I was walking my dog and saw
light bend in on itself like it formed a circle,
made random colors go in and out of it. I've
never seen anything like it. I was amazed by it.
I wish someone else saw it. It was in the
middle of a street. It lasted about five seconds, but
it felt like thirty seconds. I have you ever heard that?
Speaker 4: Do you know what I'm doing right there?
Speaker 5: That was?
Speaker 4: That was Biggie Small's I got a story to tell.
Speaker 2: Have you ever heard that? Way? We robbed the Nick
guy and they think it was Herbert Davis.
Speaker 3: Yes, it doesn't sound like that boom, listen to it.
We can't play it, boombom. Have you ever heard the
story that Jesse James, You know, Jesse James, the outlaw,
he saw ball lightning twice in his life, always before
a major event, and the last time was before he died.
It's where you see like if ever you don't ball
lightning is have you ever heard of it? It's like
a glowing orb of They call it lightning, and it's documented.
They assume it's a real thing, and they try to
reproduce it in laboratory settings, but they only get it
for like a few seconds here.
Speaker 2: They can't do what the Lord's doing.
Speaker 3: That's right. But Jesse James saw it twice in his life.
This orb, this glowing orb come into like a room
or something.
Speaker 2: Isn't that sounds like he got molested, maybe time traveling
or something or molestation.
Speaker 3: It could he just came up with a fascal. Well
is my buttle sword dog ball lightning going around? That's terrible.
I can't decide what's better this or timfoil hat Goovey's
always love hearing Sam and Johnny Shoot. This always got
me laughing listening to these great minds come together. Great minds. Huh,
Johnny needs to start hitting the road. Would be what
would I do? Would be fun to see him live.
That's from Goovy Ding dang a poo Butt. That's ding
dang a poo butt.
Speaker 2: Here.
Speaker 4: Sounds like we have some Hindu listeners.
Speaker 3: His name is Hobvey Beans the Hindu Mexican five stars
or whatever this guy says at the end of every episode. Oh,
that was one of your words that you gave at
the end of the episode. Yeah, tater Bug too, writes
my Saturday hangout listen every time there's a new episode.
Thanks for making me giggle when I'm at number at
number two, work number two, work free Johnny woodard on X,
thank you for that. A new favorite. I love Broken Sam.
Johnny and Sam propping dropping truth bombs weekly. But we've
been getting a lot of reviews. This is just going
back a week here. All of these were in the
past week. Swarm five stars, great show. That's from gen X.
Temfoil hat follow me Johnny or I will cut you
worse than you are now what is it? Oh? I
cut my finger pretty badly? Who superu f you? Suh?
Mama half rained here love it? Remember that you thought
he was saying, is your mama half reined? What did
you think he was saying? Your mama have a reindeer
or something? Rain?
Speaker 5: What was it?
Speaker 2: Is that your ass? Your mama got.
Speaker 3: Got rein there? You have rain there or something? Yeah,
you thought it was that is your mama half rein ding,
But it's half raining. That's what we learned last week. Sam,
tripoli is a real inn word. That's from h T
d C. Why did I just get hard normalizing common sense? Johnny?
You temper, Sam, Sam, you go off hard entertaining as I'll.
Speaker 4: Get Johnny stopped tempering me.
Speaker 3: Hey man, the the handler's got to do is job
married number two on the Super Big. I don't know
what that means. Jude Puss is the person here.
Speaker 2: I love it, dude. That's JP is intoxicating. It will
lock you down and we'll get you to commit treason
against your own government.
Speaker 3: I just started listening to these guys. They don't sound smart,
but I bet they have huge dogs.
Speaker 4: Well you're wrong, I'm both.
Speaker 3: Real talk. I only listened to broken sim on my
white iPhone. Respect all right, Johnny and Sammer great love
your show. That's from March seventeenth, y'all said from DZ
a K only to write a review. Good job. How
about these Ben and Jerry dorks making the rounds? Oh?
These Ben and Jerry guys are stupid, aren't they? Did
you see the other day they were talking about giving
back the They were talking about the.
Speaker 2: Forty two points on Edwards in space forty two dollars.
Speaker 3: Weren't you up ninety nine dollars so you said earlier?
Speaker 2: No I didn't.
Speaker 3: I thought you said fifty fifty moves so you lost
the dollar Johnny being mean? Yeah, did you see the
Ben Jeri's guys like they were going around telling the
federal government to give back some land that it was
on and meanwhile they're headquarters is on Indian land that
they don't.
Speaker 2: It's so annoying. Rich white people are going to destroy
this country.
Speaker 3: I think they're trolling. Wanna be Sam Gilf right here
cleaning lady tanyas, I wanna be Sam Gilf.
Speaker 2: If she wants more, come get some send nudes.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 3: These pods never disappoint. Belly laughs a plenty. That's from
Stan the jeff.
Speaker 2: Man Stan stand the jeff Man beat.
Speaker 3: Hose says, thank you for bringing the heat every pod.
When are you coming to Stockton, boy, nobody's trying to
get shot around here, Dude.
Speaker 4: I like Stockton. I'll go to Stockton.
Speaker 3: Cool, jeff Jeffy says sweet Sammy T and JJW Happy.
I get to spend so much time every week listening
to you guys and laughing along with my clients as
they get tattooed to Sam's stories. Oh he's got the
ship playing loud.
Speaker 4: That's how you make a difference in your community.
Speaker 3: That's brave. See you next time you were on the
East Coast stand. I'm Sam. Stopped being a baby and
take me up on the live sex critique. I think
the ninety discount as a steal. I guess my operating
ninety percent.
Speaker 2: I think they're talking.
Speaker 3: Brazilian Brazilian wax. My Southern accent slips and every now
and then, Newton Dale writes, Brazilian wax freaking top notch.
I love the show. You guys are better than sex.
You're having the wrong kind of Yeah, seriously, that is
not the right kind of sex you're having. What are
you doing, Sam, Johnny, have you heard my new TV show?
Speaker 2: I want to pitch No, did we give gay guys
viagra make him feel vagina for the first time.
Speaker 3: What do you call that?
Speaker 2: The real hole?
Speaker 3: Sam? Please don't worry about screwing up names. It's real
and the people, the real people don't care. Johnny. What
else can I say? Perfection? Perfection? Have you seen me?
Speaker 4: Jake Shields messed up my last name and I was like,
you know what?
Speaker 6: Oh did he?
Speaker 4: I'm fine with it.
Speaker 2: Poly I go threes, dude, Triple.
Speaker 3: E's extra illegal Mexican. His English is badh.
Speaker 2: He's great, He's perfect for the show.
Speaker 3: I would write a review, but Johnny, I gotta go.
I love Sam Tripoli, but why does he have to
say Johnny's name some much?
Speaker 2: Johnny?
Speaker 4: What is he talking about?
Speaker 3: I think it's good Wit. You just did the check.
Good job. Whatever happened to Off the Grid Ryan?
Speaker 2: Last heard he was in Vegas? That's it.
Speaker 3: kJ Casper says, I couldn't make it through my hormonal
forties without y'all. I like to think of Johnny and
Sam more often, Johnny as my best friends who keep
me sane. That's very kind of.
Speaker 2: Good for you, Johnny.
Speaker 3: We'll get to some more. We'll get it more of
these next week. Those all five stars, all five stars?
What at a two two hundred and some twenty three
ratings on the America.
Speaker 4: Let's get to three thousand.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's do the push for three thousand, the push
to get and what number are we on Johnny episodes? Yeah,
well we don't, you know, we're not exactly committed to
doing the show weekly, So so, uh, what are we?
Cash Daddies, which started like two years later is flown
past it? Where at one fifty one? Right now?
Speaker 2: Okay, we're so far away from fucking the Big five?
Speaker 3: Any milestone? Yeah, all right, we'll try to tear ass
through the news here.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give you one word answers.
Speaker 3: So Snow White has been released, and it's just an
epic flop, the flop that we've known was coming for years.
As soon as they released the pictures, as soon as
they announced that the seven Dwarves weren't gonna be dwarves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're just gonna be homeless people.
Speaker 3: And named the casting, it was like, we knew this
was gonna be a flop, and yet Disney just barreled
down the path and made this piece of shit.
Speaker 2: Dude, that's that movie? Is everything wrong? With Hollywood. Peter Dinkle,
the angry dwarf.
Speaker 3: What's his name, Peter Dnkle's the actor, Yeah, ay dwarf.
Speaker 2: No, he wouldn't let hedwarfs. Yea, so he took jobs
away from dwarfs.
Speaker 3: When you have dwarf saying those are like great Hollywood
dream jobs or.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that they would make. I mean, no one's gonna watch.
I bet you my kids will watch me like this
is great.
Speaker 3: I just wanted to sow the trailer, which we'll have
to cut out of the YouTube, but I just wanted
you to see. Even the trailer is cringe dude. The
trailer is, Oh, it's so uncomfortable, they say. The reviews.
By the way, even the liberal reviewers couldn't give it
a good review. They say that Gal Gadot is terrible in.
Speaker 2: This, like unwakay, Johnny, what movie is she good in?
Besides being she's just Beau's not She's just a hot idfjew.
Speaker 3: She's gorgeous, but.
Speaker 17: This was my father's kingdom.
Speaker 3: And then this woman who plays snow White. I mean,
she's fine, but she's not snow She's not the fairest
of them all, for sure.
Speaker 2: Place of fairness but the queen changed everything. Take him away.
You're out of See what did you say?
Speaker 15: The people?
Speaker 2: Some kindness in a way you really don't remember you
being this.
Speaker 11: Opinionated magic mirror on the wall.
Speaker 2: Who is the fairest of them all?
Speaker 7: Fame is the beauty majesty, but a lovely maiden I
now behold?
Speaker 3: And also, dude, there's something to be said for.
Speaker 2: Making Johnny got. I must send you this. It's such fire.
My friend Alex Phillips with a Z because he's black.
You have to find this video. Watch this video. I'm
texting it to you from my social media phone. Watch this,
and I just want to be.
Speaker 17: The fairest of them all.
Speaker 3: Kinder planet.
Speaker 2: The queen is evil beams flee into the woods. My
parents always said this forest was magical place.
Speaker 3: She did bad butterfly.
Speaker 2: Hello, is there anybody here?
Speaker 3: Look at the divorce. But they looked so stupid.
Speaker 13: You know what they look They look like.
Speaker 3: Those Nazi propaganda posts.
Speaker 2: They all look like our Saphear's uncles.
Speaker 3: Shit, it's a human.
Speaker 2: What did you think I was nothing? Ghost? Yeah, it
looks like they all went to Epstein party from.
Speaker 6: The queen here.
Speaker 2: The Queen stole everything from all of us.
Speaker 3: They looked like Harvey Winston.
Speaker 2: Everyone, it's time to restore our kings.
Speaker 18: Plating on a way, holding up for someday, holding something.
Speaker 3: It's just college. I mean, we don't have to play.
Speaker 4: Oh you know, Johnny, here's where we're gonna lose.
Speaker 2: Everybody. They're going nuts. They're like, why would they make
a Latin a Latina. I'm like, she's also Polish Jewish.
I mean, come on, stop, but I sent you that video. Play.
Speaker 4: It's the best video.
Speaker 3: And if she actually owns Latina, that would be the
only time Latin has lost out over the Jews. The
Jews always well she doesn't.
Speaker 2: She claims being Columbian because you always claim what dirty
is the water? Always every time.
Speaker 3: It's not sending that's the poice. It's not coming over.
I mean, I got what you sent me.
Speaker 2: Dude. You have to play. It is the funniest clip.
Alex nailed it.
Speaker 3: By the way, Alex Stein is taking Speaking of Alex's,
he's taking his life into his hands. I mean that
guy is on the front lines, bro, dude.
Speaker 2: He is fearless.
Speaker 4: Watch this, Johnny, watch this.
Speaker 3: This is humorous. So he read what he says first
Rachel Ziggler at the Oscars red carpet her.
Speaker 4: Watch what he's basically doing up there. Do you see
what he's doing?
Speaker 3: It was snowing at the Oscars. Yeah, he looks like
he's uh doing.
Speaker 4: He's doing a scoop of the nose.
Speaker 3: Little little the nose.
Speaker 5: Fu.
Speaker 2: I'm kind of little key bump, Yeah, a little key
bumping Joe.
Speaker 4: Let's go present an award.
Speaker 2: Watch her? Watch her? Oh, dude, she is coke out
of her mind. Look she's doing the swallow, the coke swallow. Man,
she's so coked outright. The people look a lot like Christmas. Dude,
I've done that thousand times. And this is this is
the problem with her in particular, but her her generation.
They just have no respect. Like, you're getting paid so
much money, why would you.
Speaker 3: Want to do it before that too? Like that's a
that to me, that's just doesn't go to.
Speaker 2: She can't swallow because it's dripping because she just did
a of just a banger.
Speaker 4: I've done coke. That's what coke looks like to me.
Speaker 3: I gotta be honest, she's my kind of woman, and
I don't find her appealing in the least.
Speaker 4: Like you know, well, her attitude is so nasty.
Speaker 3: It's not her attitude I care about, it's her I mean,
I just don't think she's cute anyway. All right, well
you said you're going about Johnny.
Speaker 2: Do you remember, dude, when when the leading ladies were hot.
They're not hot any of course, they're mid now and
it all star with Jennifer Anston, who was the hottest
of the mids.
Speaker 4: Like she was cute, but they were sold to us
as she's hot.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 3: I don't find her sexual in the least either. I
don't think.
Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, dude, I mean how many how many
relationships have crashed and burned for that chick? And then
you and then you get into who is it who's
the Australian super mild that became an actress? What's her name?
She was in everything?
Speaker 4: And all of her kids are trans.
Speaker 3: Oh she's South African. Charlie's the wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: She always has to play like the evil person.
Speaker 3: Yeah now she does. Yeah, I mean when she was young,
she didn't yet she was as hot as it got.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's like no they hits on me, and
like no, no, supermodels hit on.
Speaker 3: Your your greatest fears have become reality. The US is
deploying its robo dogs and war games to game out
and assault on Kim Jong Unds or whatever the hell
Kim is in charge in South North Korea now his
secret tunnels. They're using those robo dogs you've been afraid
of and who the United States.
Speaker 2: Government against North Korea?
Speaker 3: Well in a war game scenario, but they are out
there now the dogs.
Speaker 2: Do you think countries do that kind of like college
football where they play each other in a spring game.
Speaker 1: They do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, they get together, like especially
the NATO countries and have war games all the time. Yeah.
The US military on Monday deployed robotic dogs this is
from Newsweek, or robo dogs as they call it, and
joint drills with South Korean forces simulating assaults on North
Korea's quote secret underground tunnel networks. Soul announced the deployment
in in Gyeongie Province is part of Freedom Shield. There
that goes where they put these great names on it.
Freedom Shield, of course, an annual joint military exercise held
by the US in South Korea.
Speaker 2: You're all going to die.
Speaker 3: Robodogs, dude, are in the field now for the military.
That's what you've been afraid of?
Speaker 2: That right?
Speaker 3: Then deploying the robot dogs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there, we're just these nerds are going to kill us.
Speaker 3: Joe Rogan has said that he is skipping UFC three
point fifteen, saying that he just don't he don't go
to Canada. He's not and he'd rather go to Russia,
is what he joked on his podcast. What do you
think about it? He's just not going to Canada now,
he says, I won't be there. I don't go to
Canada anymore.
Speaker 2: Have you seen how gorgeous his house is in Texas?
Why would you want to leave that? He said?
Speaker 3: Their government is terrible, but the Canadian people are.
Speaker 2: Awesome, of course, Yeah, why wouldn't you. Why do you think?
Speaker 3: I mean, you spent time in Canada. Do you notice
the government when you're there?
Speaker 2: If you go to Toronto, you're like, oh, this is
what happened. This is what humanity is possible. This is
what's possible in humanity when you don't spend fifty cents
of every dollar on the military.
Speaker 3: He said, we have to become friends with Canada again.
This is so ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think he didn't like and this is
what I said. I don't like that the hockey teams
were fighting. I know everybody thought it was cool, and
I get it because we love hockey fights. But in reality,
you have a bunch of elitists getting a bunch of
fucking regular joes fighting with each other.
Speaker 3: Do you think so? Connor McGregor appeared with President Trump.
He appeared behind the presidential seal giving a speech about
immigration and the European Union.
Speaker 2: Dude, can I tell you something running for you know
now they're talking about throwing you in jail for seven years.
Speaker 3: The executive over there in Ireland. Do you think he's serious?
This is my first question. Yes you do, Yes, you
think he has a chance. I think that they're gonna do.
Speaker 2: They're doing the exact same thing to him that they
did to Trump, which makes it make it seem like
they're trying to take him out with all these stupid
ess courts. I think the trial that he had, and
Jason Burmes is probably not gonna be having this. It's
probably not happy that I'm saying this, but that whole
essay trial seemed like Shenanigans to me, and it was
a humiliation ritual. Oh and I think that this he's
getting new charges that they say he incited a riot.
Speaker 3: So wait, how's that went through a tweet? That dude,
if they can get you for a tweet, we're all
Europe's too crazy. Yeah, you can do anything in Europe.
Speaker 2: Can no in Europe. I mean the government can do anything.
This is what happens when you allow bureaucrats to take over.
And that is an argument against Elon Muskin. Doge and
nobody voted for him, and I understand what they're saying. Yeah,
but again, I think it's going to take someone from
outside the system. And we can argue how much outside
the system Elon Musk is when he's the number one
defense contractor.
Speaker 3: It's dumb though, because the people voted for the president
and the president is It's not like the president can
do everything. So he the president is signed. It's with
his impromisele.
Speaker 2: I mean like Joe Biden put a guy in charge
of the nuclear codes that was a bald cross dresser
sole luggage, So you know, I mean again, I would
take even all the bad and I don't like about Trump.
I'd take him a thousand times over anybody in the
Democratic Party, and I was Democratic, but I was a writer,
Democratic voter for most of my life. I haven't been forever.
Speaker 4: Now I I signed to the Libertarian Party, but I
still won't play that game.
Speaker 5: Now.
Speaker 3: You also have and I wonder if these things are related.
You have Andrew Tate running for you know, office in England,
and he was, you know, DeSantis was like, he's not
welcome in Florida Andrew Tate because of his you know,
his the accusations against him, which you have canus owns now,
who's just out there defending the least popular people in
the world.
Speaker 2: Apparently her, she's she does not care.
Speaker 3: Now, I think it's related though, McGregor and Tate kind
of you think there's a movement to kind of kind
of do the same thing.
Speaker 4: Get the is the term populous?
Speaker 3: Yeah, like a person like with no political experience, no
political Yeah.
Speaker 2: Someone outside people are tired of it. But then they
get in they just play you like to.
Speaker 3: Take Well, I don't. I like, I'm uncomfortable with him.
Speaker 4: I mean like I think he I think he's controlled up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, probably right.
Speaker 4: I mean again, it's like all these cases that go nowhere.
Speaker 3: Now, DeSantis saying that he can't come into Florida though
or whatever. That's ridiculous, that's so stupid.
Speaker 2: DeSantis is a weird guy. I mean like he's really
right when he's right, and he's just awful. Like same
thing with Trump. When they're right, they are spot. You
say the same thing about Bill Burr when they are spot.
When they're on, they're on, yeah, spot on. But when
they're wrong, they miss, like they're so far off. You're like,
what do you do?
Speaker 4: How is so and so right?
Speaker 2: So often wrong? So wrong?
Speaker 3: So this is this is just crazy. There's this guy
in uh Saskatoon, I believe, Uh yeah, Saskatoon. That's Canada correct,
thirty thirty one year old father who was caught trying
to record a nine year old child changing into a
bathing suit at his cabin. His defense was he was
trying to find out if he was.
Speaker 2: A no, you're going to jail.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you got it? I mean what what? What?
Speaker 2: Now? That's the dumbest. Well, you only get away with
that if you're in the Who's That sounds like the
who defense.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the Pete Townshend defense, which he said he was in.
But there's some truth because he never that what they
found was that he was trying to He had been
complaining the police for a long time that the payment
processors that they should be targeting them for these websites,
and he was using the payment processors on one website
to prove that it could be done. And they went
into his computer and said he never doubted an image,
never access an image, never logged into the websites or anything.
He just used the payment front end of the system.
That's to prove that it could be done.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I just think that's stupid.
Speaker 3: That's bad. He said. It was stupid too.
Speaker 2: But it's a dumb game plan.
Speaker 3: No, it is stupid, but he was he was frustrated
because the police weren't doing anything about it, and he
was going to like go public with it. It was
his idea.
Speaker 2: Now. The funniest thing is like when your your your
baby's mama sends you pictures of your kids taking a bath,
I'm like, we don't need to do this on the phone, right, weird? Yeah,
you're like, let's not do that. Yeah.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 3: I got my sister when I when she used to
send my nephew, like I was like, don't you know
we're good? Or like what if you're think about it, dude.
What if you're, like in high school you got nudes
from your girlfriend or something, and then now you're twenty one. Yeah,
his pictures are from when she's nineteen eighteen. Whatever, I forget.
Speaker 2: There was something law on that. You got to delete
that shit, right, Yeah, you got to delete that shit.
You should always delete all the nudes, by the way,
all the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2: But if we're telling your children, you shouldn't be sending
those pictures.
Speaker 3: No, I agree. Yeah, yeah, anyway, this is the victim's
father asked this guy's wife to check his phone, which
he had three deleted videos of him. Two of them
showed him setting up the phone and testing the angles,
and then the third he was heard telling the child
to go to the room and change it's too it's creepy.
I'm not going the rest of it, but I mean,
what is he like?
Speaker 1: What is that?
Speaker 3: That's not it's a dumbesst excuse literally ever. Yeah, he's
gotta go, he's gotta go.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't take pictures of your own kids.
Speaker 3: Also, if you well, I don't know if they were
even his kids. I don't think it was somebody else's kids.
Speaker 2: Oh, then he needs to go to jail.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, that's that's what I'm saying. Oh, you're gonna
You're gonna get he's doing it to find out if
he's aoile.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're a scumback if no, you know, if you are.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you are. That's that's what I was thinking. So
you sent me this. This is from the Daily Mail.
It look Pennsylvania politician staged a hate crime by planting
a noose at her own desk. According to the police,
a local politician in Pennsylvania has been accused of tempting
attempting to pose as a victim of a hate crime
by planting a new a noose at her own desk. Cops.
Speaker 2: That's how hard it is to be, uh somebody, you
have to fake your own hate crimes. Latarsha brown the
tarsia right there. I'd be like, yeah, nobody's nobody, nobody's
doing hate crimes. Get you, Latarsha.
Speaker 3: Reported, she's lottarded if you ask me, reported finding the
rope on her desk in the office of the morning
of January tenth of this year. The department launched a
criminal investigation and submitted the news to the Pennsylvania's crime
lab for DNA testing. When they came back, only her
DNA was on the damn thing. There's here's Latarsha right right, Shaw,
It's just call it did Es Smilett teach you nothing, honestly, children,
nothing from Jesse's dude.
Speaker 2: I swing into like I think Canada just got busted
some Jewish business and they they basically did an investigating final.
They did their own hate crime to themselves.
Speaker 3: Look at and look at this picture. It's just just
this tiny little thing that it's like like a rubber
band tied into a knot or something. It's so dumb, Like,
what do you get out of this?
Speaker 2: Dude?
Speaker 3: Is it just is it kind of like just mental
mental disorder? You know?
Speaker 2: Well, it's like there's this there's this thing that happens
in high school where girls fake their own suicide so
they can get attention.
Speaker 3: Oh that's like the Tom is it Tom Sawry where
he goes to his own funeral, you know, and he's
like watching it. It's kind of that fantasy.
Speaker 2: But it's like everyone going, oh my god, you're so loved,
You're so loved. Oh my god. Like there's a I've
heard Rogan talk about. There was a woman who was
saying she was getting sexually stalked, and when they they
discovered the emails, she was sending him to herself. And
then and then in England there's some super fat chick.
They said she was getting like g R G gang
R and they they found out she was doing it
to herself. She was like cutting herself. Yeah, oh she
she faked the crime to herself. And if you saw
fat this chick is nobody, nobody's doing it. It would
take ten guys. So do I ever tell you the
funny story about this female comic who forced her way
into a weekend would mean Steve Byrne.
Speaker 4: She's a crazy, crazy female, crazy person and.
Speaker 2: She showed up.
Speaker 4: She took my name off the marquee, put her name
on the marquee.
Speaker 2: What yeah, wait where was she? She was at the
club or she was at the Laoyal comedy Club, she
worked there the comedy store in law No, she was
doing stand up and it was like me and Steve
burn were doing a weekend there access to the sign.
Speaker 3: She went bitched, oh oh okay, and then they did it.
You meant like she physically went they.
Speaker 4: Changed, took my name off, put her name on and uh,
I don't care.
Speaker 3: Well she's like she's got better credits than you or no,
she just was a crazy person. So can you say
this is no?
Speaker 2: Because I don't want to get into it. So so anyway,
eat a beef on this pod? No, I don't want
to one. So I just want to be left alone, Johnny.
I just if we can figure out how to have
a very successful podcast and then nobody.
Speaker 3: The audio especially, I know, but can we find a way.
Speaker 2: For nobody to know who we are ever? And we
can just be left alone for the rest of our life.
So anyways, it's hard to do on a podcast. It
is hard to do. So anyways, the funniest thing, so
she takes the master room of the condo that the
comedians used to stay at.
Speaker 4: So I would sleep on the couch.
Speaker 2: Now she Steve would have the other bedroom because I
was a nice guy and I'd sleep on the couch.
Speaker 3: Remember that place.
Speaker 2: So the first day we go there, right, and they
don't No, they are BnB it because it's prime real estate, dude.
So we go there, we stay, We stay at the
at the condo the first night. We every night I
would go down there, I go to this taco shop.
So I take Steve because his first time down there.
Speaker 3: That naco shop, the Fish Taco place.
Speaker 4: This is before I knew Don Carlos.
Speaker 2: Carlos Don Carlos Burritos Ryan are the best burritos in
San Diego. He's in La Joya, but the area so
I really love these roll tacos are right next to condo.
So we're about to leave and we're like, let's just
be nice.
Speaker 4: I'm like, hey, would you like to come with us
and get tacos?
Speaker 2: She goes, no, I'm good. I'm like, okay, that's fine.
Speaker 7: So we go.
Speaker 2: As we're walking back, she pulls up in her car.
It's like, hey, can you come with me? I'm gonna
get some I'm gonna get some tacos. I go, why
didn't you just walk with us? I just you know,
and she goes the hand to God. She goes, I
just don't want to get ard what And I go, Cynthia,
we're in uh oh beep it okay, I don't care.
I go. I go, Hey, the only way you're you're
in Pacific Beach, home of the hottest college women on
planet Earth. The only way you're gonna be involved in
an r if if you're if you're helping hold down
the other, check you're involved in any kind of r
going on in this area.
Speaker 3: What was her reaction to that?
Speaker 2: She just stared at me. I just walked off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fund Yeah, that's great. That's Sam tipically right
there for you folks. That's a good one. So Bryce
Mitchell put out this video.
Speaker 2: Oh buy the oh real quick, I'll tell you a
great story about Bryce Mitchell after going.
Speaker 3: Okay, uh, did you see this? I'm just gonna play
this all right, here we go.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I saw this seated.
Speaker 15: Good morning, y'all. I need all my Christian warriors to
pray for me that I would have peaceful sleep. Every
single night since the day before the press conference, I've
had demonic dreams. Legions and demons are attacking me every
single time I sleep, and not one time have I
seen any peaceful sleep since that day. These demons surround
me and they try to fight me and provoke me
to anger, and then the dream will switch and thus
send beautiful women. And they're trying to get me to
lust to cheat on my wife. Sam is using two
of my weaknesses to try to expose the evil in
my own heart, which is anger and lust. However, where
I am weak, the Lord is strong. So please pray
for me, especially if you're fasting right now. Please pray
that I would have peaceful sleep, that God would send Michael, Gabriel,
Uriel and Raphael Sampson and King David to watch over
me and protect.
Speaker 2: Me with the shield of faith.
Speaker 3: Samson still going out of.
Speaker 15: Butst and evil powers and high places. I'm not just
fighting a man on April twelfth. I'm fighting man possessed
by a legion of demons. When I simply said the
name Jesus, he was provoked to maliciousness, and he started
barking like a dog and chanting you f you after
you Remember, guys, the days of me fighting for myself
are long gone. I now fight for the name of
the Lord. And the devil he ain't gonna waste his
time trying to plague a loser. He knows that a
victory for the Lord is at hand. I will win
this fight in the name of Jesus Christ. The band's
demons will be cast it out of my presence, and
he will fall before me, just as the life fell
before King David. And I know this and I believe
this with all my heart. And God told us, if
we just have faith the size of a mustard seed,
we can move a mountain.
Speaker 7: And I do.
Speaker 15: But right now I need y'all's help. Like I said, Well,
I'm weak. The Lord is strong and he will use
y'all to show their strength right now. And I trust
in the power of the Church. I trust in the
power of Jesus Christ. And please pray for me that
I would have peace when I sleep. And I love y'all.
And remember, if you're going through anything, this is what
the church is for. He're not a coward for asking
others for help.
Speaker 3: So spect he's fighting a demon possessed the opponent. What
do you think about about that? You think that?
Speaker 2: I mean he's not the first one to talk about
how other people are using black magic in fights. I
mean they say that about Alex Perra too, that he does.
You know dark mojo.
Speaker 3: Voodoo is popular or something like, you know something related
to it.
Speaker 2: Well, Johnny, just so you know, he was looking for
sponsors first fight. Yeah, And I asked him if Tim
fall Hack could sponsor him. I say, I haven't heard back. Oh,
I would be christ if you're out there will sponsor you.
We love the Lord, we love Christ.
Speaker 3: Here you mentioned the DMV. Earlier in Miami, scalpers have
been busted selling DMV appointments for two hundred and fifty dollars. Dude,
that's how out of whack the good. This is what
happens when you have the government and it's just inefficient
of bureaucracy. You get these middlemen that we usel their
way in and start profiting.
Speaker 2: And Andrew Wilson was debating a communist chick who wants
who believes in communism, and I'm just like guys, I mean,
like any any anything outside of anarchy, will will lead
to just a control of power once you you know,
I mean like we you know, I get in a
fight with the guy with Dill Non Conspiracy Social Club.
Speaker 4: He thinks government's important.
Speaker 2: And I understand at some point when you fight like
pharmaceutical companies what they're supposed to do versus what they're doing.
But at some point you're just putting people in power,
and people abuse power all the time.
Speaker 3: Completely. I completely agree. A woman in Winnipeg was run over.
Tell me what you're who's in the right here? Okay,
so they're in the parking lot of this place, right
she there's an empty space, but there's a woman standing
in the space and she's holding it. Nope, for her friends. No,
So this other woman in the car starts rolling forward,
rolling forward, rolls over her ass, and she gets trapped.
Speaker 2: Is that ass?
Speaker 3: And then just drives off like nothing happened. When when
she realized that she just run over this bitch.
Speaker 2: I don't like that rule. I think it's first come
first serf.
Speaker 3: Well, there's no rule. She the woman was breaking the
rule by holding the space.
Speaker 2: I don't like that rule.
Speaker 3: So you think she should get away? You should be
able to run over people?
Speaker 4: No, I think she needs to get the fuck out
of the way.
Speaker 3: I agree, Yeah, I totally agree. That's annoying if you're
trying to hold a space.
Speaker 2: Sorry, my Israeli neighbors do that with their garbage kids. Yeah, yeah,
they still do.
Speaker 4: They've they've eased off it.
Speaker 3: They do it in this neighborhood we're in right now.
Sometimes we can't find parking on garbage day because of Johnny.
I gotta go all right, we're almost done here. You
mentioned a couple of weeks ago this video, which has
gone around a few times over the years, and it's
going around again with the measles horror going on. This
is an old Brady Bunch episode. If you haven't seen it,
here you go. Oh, we got to unmute it. This
is called then versus no.
Speaker 16: Measles, and see their measles are a strange case of
red freckles.
Speaker 17: You have got a temperature, they told me one hundred
and one point one.
Speaker 2: What's the record? Never mind?
Speaker 3: Oh for you sure it's the measles.
Speaker 6: Well he was.
Speaker 2: He was insanely gay to dad, that great insanely gay like.
It was just out there, slight temperature, a lot of
dots and a great.
Speaker 3: Big smile, a great big smile.
Speaker 9: No school for a few days. Blow to my dotted
son for me. Tell them I'll bring him some comic
books and I'll see you later.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, honey by It just gotta bone these guys
real quick.
Speaker 2: Drill holes and the holes in the bathroom. Boy, this
is a life, isn't it.
Speaker 11: Yeah, if you have to get sick, she can't beat
the measles, that's right.
Speaker 2: No medicine insider out like shots on me.
Speaker 3: Don't even mention shots yees. Measles measles.
Speaker 9: Measles.
Speaker 10: Well, all the kids have now had the measles, so
I had them years ago.
Speaker 3: Looks like the Bradys are finished with the measles.
Speaker 9: Man, you're not through yet.
Speaker 2: I don't tell me you're coming down with the measles.
Speaker 9: Oh I hope.
Speaker 3: So I need to think I was just turning out
a blush at my age. This is a modern program
depicting the measles. Here because I should go to school.
Seven students confirmed with measles.
Speaker 1: Four others possible of how they had to have been
vaccinated with.
Speaker 2: These moms never vaccinated their kids and lied about it.
Vaccines are harmed.
Speaker 3: You are endangering the health of every child.
Speaker 2: It's believable.
Speaker 17: No, it's turning blue.
Speaker 3: Paul nine moved one. They're rusting a child in the hospital.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, isn't that crazy? Johnny?
Speaker 3: What is this hysteria?
Speaker 2: Johnny? So I have a YouTube. I'm just going to
say this guy's first name, not his last name. His
name is Chase. And it started out with him going
nuts on me about vaccines. Now where is it? Let
me read the first one? So this is his first you,
piece of shit. This is for to a DM to me,
vaccines saved lives. Trump's got a lot of people killed.
This ship isn't debatable. It's back by numbers.
Speaker 19: It's back by like very clear numbers. Everyone agrees a
serious person. I'm like, your algorithm is lying to you.
So I non stop bombard him with.
Speaker 3: Facts vaccine told you told me about this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so this is the last one.
Speaker 3: You've been blowing him up?
Speaker 2: Oh dude, And like, God bless him. He doesn't ever
block me, and we just go at it and he
he's called me out because he'll say stuff to me,
and I'm like whatever, he goes, Dude, you're not even
gonna look at it. I look at all your stuff.
You got, okay, deal, I'll look at your stuff.
Speaker 4: So then the whole thing was.
Speaker 2: Where is it?
Speaker 3: What if you convert him?
Speaker 2: Then that's great, that's my hoga.
Speaker 3: At least he's willing to read it though.
Speaker 2: There here we go. So I sent them this. So
you know the measle breakout in Texas that was big.
So this is comes out by this Terra LaRosa Covenant
Children's House guilty of medical malpractice that killed six year
old girl. Media covered up with a fake story of
measles so they have all this thing, they break it down.
So then I send him that. He goes, this is
why he writes to me, this is some real galaxy
brainshit man, congrass. Kids are dying because of your mindset.
You're a lunatic like not like some liberal conspiracy. That
just common fucking widely known knowledge. Good Lord, get help, blessed.
Nobody's dying. I go, nobody's dying, and nobody's nobody. Nobody
is dying. The hospital lied, man, it's malepractice. And then
I send him that The third number one the way
of people dying in this country is medical male practice.
Speaker 3: Did you know that the number one called it death
for pregnant women is homicide? Oh, the number one cause
of death for pregnant women. I couldn't believe that was real.
Make one sad, and it's something just guys getting crazy
when their woman gets pregnant or something. That's so it's
the number one cause of death. Okay. So there was
this plane that took off from La headed to China
from CNN and it had to come back because the
pilot realized he didn't have his passport. Dude, can you
imagine like getting the heat. You know that feeling of
being in trouble when you're a kid in your face
just gets all warm and you're.
Speaker 2: Like, oh shit, how far were they travel?
Speaker 3: Okay, so flight UA one United Airlines one ninety eight
departed lax around two pm on Saturday with two hundred
and fifty seven passengers on board. About two hours later,
the plane turned around and was redirected to San Francisco,
where it landed around five pm. According to flight Aware,
the pilot did not have their passport on board. United
said we arranged for a new crew to take our
customers to their destination. Like, dude, that's a you're in trouble.
Speaker 2: I know that's what they don't want you flying.
Speaker 3: Johnny, that's so annoying. But think, I mean, just think
about how bad he must have felt having done that.
A woman, I would just do the rapid fire now.
This is from NBC News. Woman admits trying to sell
human toes regurgitated by dogs. She worked in an animal shelter.
Dog had, I guess, eaten some human toes, vomited them up.
She was trying to pluck them out to sell them
on the black market. To exactly who is buying is
there a market out there for toes?
Speaker 4: By the way, if you bite off my toe, I'm
going to ask for her back.
Speaker 3: An Australian woman narrowly avoided jail over her plans to
sell in the black market two human toes that dogs
had regurgitated at the animal shelter. The owner died of
natural causes. So it was the owner was dead and
the dog shoot its toes off after it died, and
then so the owner was dead to be fair, so
she was just.
Speaker 2: Where did he die?
Speaker 4: Or she died at the shelter in.
Speaker 3: The house, and then the dog was brought to the
shelter after the owner died.
Speaker 2: Oh see, cats have been getting shit for eating you
when you die. It's really dogs too.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, that's true. I guess now, Yeah, you're right.
I've thought about that before. Two oh no three, I'm sorry.
Three teens in the United States tried to stab their
mother to death and were plotting like to murder her
for turning off the Wi Fi. She turned off the WiFi.
That's telling you how crazy these kids are. They're all
little like early teens fourteen sixty, sixteen and fifteen. They
had a coordinated plant to try and kill their mother
for turning off the Wi Fi. They grabbed kitchen knives
and chased their mother through their Houston home and into
the street. According to the sheriff, one of the girls
through a brick that hit their thirty nine year old
mom in the ankle, and the girl's seven year old
grandmother was knocked over while attempting to protect the mom.
This is a problem, dude. Children are addicted to the
Internet and they have no fear. But doesn't that sound
like the behavior of an addict. You get between them
and their drugs the same. They'll do anything, man. It's
it's there's something. There's something extra here. Man, it's the
ship that the social media companies.
Speaker 2: I agree, they've final story.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of fake NASA really fake going around.
Speaker 2: I don't about the Even Dana said to me the
other day she was people think they didn't even go
to space, and she's like, I don't think they went
to space.
Speaker 3: It looks weird. So this is something you would I
think you might have sent this to me. This woman
got sick and then woke up with a Chinese accent.
I love this. I hate that Instagram doesn't. Oh yeah,
Sarah Colbol from Plymouth in England.
Speaker 2: It's a dead set home here now sounds like she's
from Shanghai.
Speaker 14: It wasn't until I was in ambulance on the way
to the hospital actually say are you aware of the
way you speaking? And I said, oh, I sound like
all She said, no, you sound like you can work
at a Chinese as one.
Speaker 2: I think she has a slow Chinese.
Speaker 3: Don't the are like the Chinese are restaurant? Now this
is apparently a genre of medical condition now because this
woman has a stroke gave her an Italian If you spend.
Speaker 20: Time abroad with someone's got a lovely region accent not
unusually up on the old local word or phrase.
Speaker 2: Isn't that right? Perhaps yes, it certainly is.
Speaker 18: But imagine waking up one day to find yourself speaking
in a completely different accent than your You look.
Speaker 20: North London after suffering a stroke last year, after he
was discovered, she just started suddenly started in a talking.
Speaker 18: Not only does healthy and not speak a word of Italian.
She's never even been to wit.
Speaker 2: She joined us wheelchair. Thank you, thank you so much, Althia.
Speaker 20: Tell us a little bit about what happened. You sadly
suffered a stroke.
Speaker 2: Yes, that is right.
Speaker 21: I don't remember this stroke so much. We don't have
to tell you about this. I have no memory of it, really,
but I can tell you afterward, tell you the beginning.
Speaker 20: I will tell you the n Okay, So you went
downstairs right like night he went that says for a drink.
He came back and well, I.
Speaker 10: Was downstairs for about ten minutes, yeah, or so. And
by the time I came back home, I realized that
something wasn't right because she was kind of slumped in
the bed because I left where she was position wise,
just like you.
Speaker 2: Just loose, and it wasn't right.
Speaker 10: Yeah, So I started asking can you hear me? No response,
and then I asked, do you know where you are?
Speaker 2: Still?
Speaker 3: No response.
Speaker 2: So from that point I knew something that frightening. Yeah,
very frightened.
Speaker 18: So you got to the hospital and then they let
you know that she's had a stroke, and then what happened.
Speaker 2: From there.
Speaker 4: She jumped to the.
Speaker 10: So she was unable to respond now, and it was August,
the first of August.
Speaker 21: You know, I have a surgery and I don't know
if you can see this scar, Yeah, we can see, okay,
So there was something growing in my next.
Speaker 2: Have you heard about the guys this is the thing
that fell and hit his head and woke up gay.
Speaker 4: He's also British.
Speaker 3: You're saying there's a connection here.
Speaker 4: I think there's something here. He's like, I'm so gay?
Speaker 3: Now, Well, what do it makes me think though? That
there's some truth to this idea of a collective unconscious
or that we all share, like you know, you know
what I mean? Like maybe they're people they like pulled
the wrong accent out of the collective unconscious, you know
what I mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Rest in peace to the California firefighter known for his
delicious mustache. Look at that mustache too.
Speaker 2: It was a Yosemite Sam.
Speaker 3: Isn't it crazy? He's dead? Rest in peace. He died
of something or the other. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Great hair heart.
Speaker 3: I don't think they've said, but anyway, I just wanted
to get one last shot of that, uh that mustache.
Speaker 2: Rest in peace, buddy is the one.
Speaker 3: Oh Okay. So there's this I think South African UH
station in Antarctica, and there's it's like the shining down there. Dude,
there's this guy that just went nuts on everybody, like
homicidal trying to kill people and threaten like being sexual,
harassing people and stuff, and they're trapped on there. There's
nobody can come get them. So they're having like uh
like zoom calls in from therapists and stuff, trying to
get this guy to chill out until they can come
relieve them. But they started getting calls from people like, hey,
like Billy is going nuts on everybody. We're really afraid.
So they're now trapped down there in Antarctica. Dude with
a with a guy who's potentially homicide has been like
threatening murder on people. Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be like, grab the boat, let's go. It's
like a setup for we're getting out of here, and
we're leaving a nuts bag back here.
Speaker 3: We could talk about Kanye, but I mean we've done
in a million.
Speaker 2: I bought his coin.
Speaker 3: Let's go, wait, does he have a coin or your car?
Are you sure it's real because a lot of them
you see on Twitter.
Speaker 2: It's a coin, a coin, E coin.
Speaker 3: All right, guys, I think that's it. I just these
were the ones that we're gonna die if we didn't
get them. M woman trying to sell toes mustache man
a bunch of ATF agents were fired. Good, good, glad
for that.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 3: I think that's it all right today. And there's people
accusing that talking about the downs lady, that's a filter.
We're going to get into that later. We don't have
time right now. Yeah, there's a downspiracy going on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, phrasey day, fat blacks in space.
Speaker 7: Ah.
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