Speaker 1: Without further ado, your honorable mention, honorable mention not supposed
Speaker 1: to mention when not to mention them. It's been an
Speaker 1: honor serving with you, all, great and honorable.
Speaker 2: Most is so today we're holding auditions to become the
Speaker 2: nearest member of honorable Mention.
Speaker 3: Well, I've had problems with teachers before, but I've never
Speaker 3: carried a handgun onto campus yet. Forty eight year old
Speaker 3: Carrie Rivers charge with felony possession of firearm on school property,
Speaker 3: misdemeanor harassment via written communication because in Indiana, she confronted
Speaker 3: a teacher while wearing said firearm. She told police she
Speaker 3: was upset about a project that was assigned to her daughter,
Speaker 3: a sixth grade student at the school, and the assignment
Speaker 3: was about same sex relationships. The teacher told police it
Speaker 3: wasn't about that, it was about different flags, which included
Speaker 3: the Rainbow Pride flag.
Speaker 1: Rivers was upset that the teacher had.
Speaker 3: A relationship ship with the woman who was also a
Speaker 3: police officer.
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, in your experience, is it mothers or
Speaker 4: fathers who go crazy more often at schools?
Speaker 3: Not answering that question on the grounds that it may
Speaker 3: increment in just here's number nine.
Speaker 1: At number nine, I did ninth place. If a cop
Speaker 1: to dirty nine times out of tennis partners thirty two
Speaker 1: and I speak nine languages at drink. Basically everybody at
Speaker 1: table nine, I'll be all ready to go another nine?
Speaker 1: And niner?
Speaker 4: Did I catch at niner in there? Well, you're calling
Speaker 4: from alwalkie talkie. But we know that our drugs end
Speaker 4: up in the oceans and the streams and the lakes,
Speaker 4: the whole bit. And it turns out that your reliance
Speaker 4: on larrazapam is affecting the Atlantic salmon. Atlantic salmon exposed
Speaker 4: to anti anxiety medication during their migration were more successful
Speaker 4: in reaching their destination than drug free fish. Why it
Speaker 4: wasn't because the xanax powered them. It was because the
Speaker 4: anix made them go. Whatever it made them take more
Speaker 4: are risks. The salmon decided to be more salmony and
Speaker 4: just be like, you know what, I'm just gonna go.
Speaker 4: I don't care what could happen. Who cares? I'm gonna go?
Speaker 4: And so the salmon went, that's like Jesus wept right.
Speaker 4: The salmon went similar?
Speaker 1: How similar?
Speaker 4: But that's interesting, isn't it? It shows you you know
Speaker 4: that the effects of xanax.
Speaker 3: It makes you do bold things. Yeah, if you get
Speaker 3: you get farther than those who are not on xanax.
Speaker 4: Won do what you would do on a xanax. We
Speaker 4: should give you one and see what happens, just for fun,
Speaker 4: or like a couple of just to see. Yeah, okay, oh,
Speaker 4: here's number eight.
Speaker 2: You could.
Speaker 3: The child is bold every eight.
Speaker 1: Second listening to eight different bosses drawn on about mission statements.
Speaker 4: Well, guy, that's a big beaver.
Speaker 1: I can't find the beaver too.
Speaker 4: It's a big beach. It doesn't it look bigger than
Speaker 4: your average beaver.
Speaker 1: I don't know how. I don't know now.
Speaker 4: How many beavers do you think you've encountered? I don't
Speaker 4: think I've ever seen a beaver in the wild.
Speaker 1: Cauliflower, the beaver has only been at the zoo for
Speaker 1: a few weeks.
Speaker 4: Why would you name your beaver Cauliflower? Nobody likes cauliflower,
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 3: Keepers discovered that beaver named Cauliflower had escaped sometime before
Speaker 3: the end of the day Wednesday, and they initially spotted
Speaker 3: him near the rotary pavilion there in the zoo.
Speaker 4: Maybe because he likes.
Speaker 3: To eat cauliflower, he sparked a search that has now
Speaker 3: gone on for over a week. They're using drones now
Speaker 3: to try to find this beaver.
Speaker 4: Nikki, do do bunnies eat cauliflower?
Speaker 1: Get that other button?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: Yes, sorry, there go.
Speaker 2: I don't think that's good for them because it can
Speaker 2: make them flatulant. And rabbits don't have a mechanism for farting.
Speaker 4: Oh what yeah, so you can't make them do it.
Speaker 2: It gives them gas bubbles in the time.
Speaker 4: Imagine if you couldn't at least, I mean, if it
Speaker 4: doesn't go one way, does it go the other way?
Speaker 2: Or is it they can't Well, they actually totally they
Speaker 2: can fart, but they can't vomit. So cauliflower makes them
Speaker 2: too gassy and they get gas bubbles.
Speaker 4: And Gary, it's kind of like you and here where
Speaker 4: you got to hold in your flatulence for four hours,
Speaker 4: So sometimes you burp a little bad.
Speaker 1: But I do it out of courtesy now because I
Speaker 1: don't have them.
Speaker 4: I appreciate that. You're like, you're just like that that beaver.
Speaker 1: Here's number seven all of the seventh son of the
Speaker 1: seventh son, seven days, seven seven years of college.
Speaker 4: Drain seven seven seven days. Nikki, we used to have
Speaker 4: a cocktail when we did these nuggets, and now we don't.
Speaker 4: And uh, we're still diculous, and we apologize for that.
Speaker 1: Except her apologies. That's very nice.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: In China, twenty two year old man's been arrested after
Speaker 3: he slashed another man in.
Speaker 1: The middle of the street.
Speaker 3: The thing is, the twenty two year old was completely naked.
Speaker 4: Oh wait, the guy that was stabbed or the stab ee,
Speaker 4: I mean the guys damn stabber.
Speaker 3: Oh, the stabber And I said China, I meant Singapore.
Speaker 3: The Singapore Civil Defense Force said they got a call
Speaker 3: for assistance after the man was taken conscious to the hospital.
Speaker 3: He was arrested for voluntarily causing hurt by grievous means.
Speaker 1: Oh, and also being naked. Number six.
Speaker 4: I got six, you got six, She got six.
Speaker 1: Number six.
Speaker 4: There's six more weeks of later by a picture of
Speaker 4: me or rabbi and six drunk and longshomy. We just
Speaker 4: dig you in a nursing home closer to us. I
Speaker 4: don't have to guy, take dad, drink another six pack. Perfect.
Speaker 4: They are trying to turn away spring breakers from spring
Speaker 4: Break Land there in Bay County, Florida. There trying to
Speaker 4: get rid of all the violence that comes along with
Speaker 4: spring break. If Florida shutting down spring break, I mean
Speaker 4: no fun is to be had anywhere. The the sheriff
Speaker 4: of the county said, since the wild days of twenty fifteen,
Speaker 4: when spring break chaos pushed us to rethink our path,
Speaker 4: we've made tremendous strides and have seen some setbacks. That
Speaker 4: year's violence, shootings and a beach assault made a unified
Speaker 4: effort to shift Panama City Beach from an unsafe spring
Speaker 4: break and a welcoming family destination. So they want families.
Speaker 4: They want small children, not your your drunken TD kids.
Speaker 1: Kids.
Speaker 4: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Here's number four for five.
Speaker 4: I have five rules.
Speaker 1: We begin bombing in five minutes.
Speaker 4: Five little monkey, this is the year five point five.
Speaker 4: Five will be a favorite.
Speaker 1: Loose five pounds immediately.
Speaker 4: Wow, you were not late to your wedding? God, No,
Speaker 4: I've never been late to anything.
Speaker 1: I disagree, but go on.
Speaker 4: I'm rarely late to things.
Speaker 1: That's not never.
Speaker 4: When have I been late to something?
Speaker 1: You've been late to this show?
Speaker 4: Okay, something I mean not thing that matters.
Speaker 1: Never.
Speaker 4: Brides are late to their weddings all the time. Really,
Speaker 4: it's a thing.
Speaker 1: You're right.
Speaker 3: My assumption is that all weddings went like mine, which
Speaker 3: was that everybody got ready in the same place.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that the wedding was, then you should account for that.
Speaker 4: Like I've never been a fan of the bride being
Speaker 4: twenty minutes late because she's got to get ready. Like,
Speaker 4: what are you talking about. You've known you've had to
Speaker 4: get ready for.
Speaker 3: You getting ready since five am. Yeah, good lord important.
Speaker 3: Saint Lucie, Florida, a wedding was going on at twelve thirty,
Speaker 3: and it was getting close to that time. Bride in
Speaker 3: the passenger seat stopped by an officer. She was doing
Speaker 3: one hundred well, the car she was in doing a
Speaker 3: one hundred and five in a forty five mile an
Speaker 3: hour zone. The driver was a guest of the wedding.
Speaker 3: They were nearly fifteen minutes late already, and the officer
Speaker 3: said to her, you're already late. The officer let them go,
Speaker 3: but the driver has a mandatory court appearance.
Speaker 1: Here's number four, pour minute.
Speaker 4: It's probably on his fourth tranquilizer by now.
Speaker 1: Commandment number four.
Speaker 4: This isn't the same world you left four years I
Speaker 4: can see a dude saying this because dudes like to
Speaker 4: drive fast, right, you know how to operate a vehicle
Speaker 4: at speeds of upwards one hundred and fifteen five miles
Speaker 4: per hour? Do you not? I have exactly. I think
Speaker 4: a lot of dudes had. So if you got pulled
Speaker 4: over going one hundred and fifty five, then the officer
Speaker 4: came over to your side and knocked on the window,
Speaker 4: and you went ahead and roll down the window, would
Speaker 4: you say to the officer, I know what I'm doing, trust.
Speaker 3: Me, I'm good, officer, thanks though, thanks for checking on me.
Speaker 1: I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 4: That's what happened with a twenty year old guy in Florida.
Speaker 1: That's a second Florida store, second in a row.
Speaker 4: You know. I used to when I did this show
Speaker 4: called The Sunday Morning News.
Speaker 1: Heard of it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I sometimes would have all the nuggets from Florida,
Speaker 4: really Florida edition nuggets.
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good idea. We should try that one day.
Speaker 1: It's very easy to do. Here's number three.
Speaker 2: Three shall be the.
Speaker 1: Number that count and the number of the counting shall
Speaker 1: be three were dead within three hours.
Speaker 4: Three security clearance level three.
Speaker 1: All three three. I got all three of you guys
Speaker 1: for the rest of your name be born live. After
Speaker 1: about three days, they both start to stink.
Speaker 3: Three White in Europe had to divert and declare may
Speaker 3: day after an unclaimed iPad was discovered on board this
Speaker 3: Transsavia France Boeing airplane was flying from Paris to Lisbon
Speaker 3: back on April tenth when the iPad was found, but
Speaker 3: the pilots declared to may day. The crew reported what
Speaker 3: they referred to as an unidentified object.
Speaker 4: We've talked about this before about random phones that are
Speaker 4: lost on a plane, diverting flights.
Speaker 1: Yeah, causing the whole flight to be diversed, which is.
Speaker 4: Crazy because everybody is traveling with iPads and iPhones. So anyway,
Speaker 4: number two, what's going on? You two? There's two sons
Speaker 4: and no women. You've done a half marathon?
Speaker 1: I have done a couple.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Have you ever been in a sperm race?
Speaker 1: Probably? I mean fifty two years ago?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: I won?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Well we all did, right, Yeah, look at us,
Speaker 4: you guys. We are all winners of a sperm race. Guys,
Speaker 4: we've all won a race against how many other sperms
Speaker 4: are there?
Speaker 2: Is it?
Speaker 1: Sperm?
Speaker 4: Is it like deer?
Speaker 1: Probably?
Speaker 4: All right? So like a milk like we were the
Speaker 4: fastest sperm. Yep, my god, I feel accomplished.
Speaker 3: Doesn't that make you feel better? We'll just play that
Speaker 3: for motivational Monday. Well, yeah, we will. Shannon's realization that
Speaker 3: she did win a race that's never been.
Speaker 4: Fast in my whole life. Uh.
Speaker 3: There is a startup here in LA that is organizing
Speaker 3: sperm racing. Two competitors, two samples, one microscopic finish line.
Speaker 1: They're saying, how did I win that? What do you mean?
Speaker 1: How did you win this?
Speaker 4: I just don't get it.
Speaker 1: Your flagella was whipping around back and forth.
Speaker 4: Is that what it's called the little tail? Wow?
Speaker 3: The thing is you got to have a microscope to
Speaker 3: get her go getter. You should pat yourself on the back.
Speaker 4: I feel like it. Yeah, huh. It's number one, Yeah,
Speaker 4: number one, number one.
Speaker 1: We're number one, Ben.
Speaker 4: I decided to look out for number one.
Speaker 1: Are you the number one row?
Speaker 4: Number one?
Speaker 1: Number one, number one? You know what?
Speaker 3: I just don't think people other other countries are as
Speaker 3: excited about this path of love expression as they are
Speaker 3: in the United States or other places in Thailand.
Speaker 4: Certainly, the age difference here.
Speaker 3: Sixty seven year old oh and his thirty five year
Speaker 3: old partner Lynn set up a tripod before they stripped
Speaker 3: naked and got it on on the street and Pataya Thailand.
Speaker 4: Thailand is a lot of things, clean is not one
Speaker 4: of them when it comes to the major cities. Just
Speaker 4: like any other place with major cities, it just seems
Speaker 4: like it would be unsanitary to have sex on them
Speaker 4: in the middle of the street.
Speaker 1: There was a guard that took a picture of them.
Speaker 3: Police were able to track them down at their hotel
Speaker 3: and then took them to the station for how.
Speaker 4: Does you even make news in twenty twenty five, Like,
Speaker 4: isn't isn't this just a Tuesday? A couple having sex
Speaker 4: in the middle of the street.
Speaker 3: First of all, they didn't know that having public sex
Speaker 3: was illegal and time.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't neither. I would think that that would be fine.
Speaker 3: What I would just assume that most places you're not
Speaker 3: supposed to do that.
Speaker 4: Well, Thailand's a little sex forward in some ways, okay,
Speaker 4: but on the street a lot of people go there
Speaker 4: for sexual purposes.
Speaker 1: Sexual purposes