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<v Speaker 1>Without further ado, your honorable mention, honorable mention not supposed

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<v Speaker 1>to mention when not to mention them. It's been an

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<v Speaker 1>honor serving with you, all, great and honorable.

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<v Speaker 2>Most is so today we're holding auditions to become the

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<v Speaker 2>nearest member of honorable Mention.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, I've had problems with teachers before, but I've never

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<v Speaker 3>carried a handgun onto campus yet. Forty eight year old

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<v Speaker 3>Carrie Rivers charge with felony possession of firearm on school property,

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<v Speaker 3>misdemeanor harassment via written communication because in Indiana, she confronted

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<v Speaker 3>a teacher while wearing said firearm. She told police she

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<v Speaker 3>was upset about a project that was assigned to her daughter,

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<v Speaker 3>a sixth grade student at the school, and the assignment

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<v Speaker 3>was about same sex relationships. The teacher told police it

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<v Speaker 3>wasn't about that, it was about different flags, which included

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<v Speaker 3>the Rainbow Pride flag.

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<v Speaker 1>Rivers was upset that the teacher had.

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<v Speaker 3>A relationship ship with the woman who was also a

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<v Speaker 3>police officer.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh my goodness, in your experience, is it mothers or

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<v Speaker 4>fathers who go crazy more often at schools?

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<v Speaker 3>Not answering that question on the grounds that it may

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<v Speaker 3>increment in just here's number nine.

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<v Speaker 1>At number nine, I did ninth place. If a cop

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<v Speaker 1>to dirty nine times out of tennis partners thirty two

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<v Speaker 1>and I speak nine languages at drink. Basically everybody at

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<v Speaker 1>table nine, I'll be all ready to go another nine?

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<v Speaker 1>And niner?

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<v Speaker 4>Did I catch at niner in there? Well, you're calling

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<v Speaker 4>from alwalkie talkie. But we know that our drugs end

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<v Speaker 4>up in the oceans and the streams and the lakes,

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<v Speaker 4>the whole bit. And it turns out that your reliance

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<v Speaker 4>on larrazapam is affecting the Atlantic salmon. Atlantic salmon exposed

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<v Speaker 4>to anti anxiety medication during their migration were more successful

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<v Speaker 4>in reaching their destination than drug free fish. Why it

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<v Speaker 4>wasn't because the xanax powered them. It was because the

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<v Speaker 4>anix made them go. Whatever it made them take more

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<v Speaker 4>are risks. The salmon decided to be more salmony and

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<v Speaker 4>just be like, you know what, I'm just gonna go.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't care what could happen. Who cares? I'm gonna go?

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<v Speaker 4>And so the salmon went, that's like Jesus wept right.

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<v Speaker 4>The salmon went similar?

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<v Speaker 1>How similar?

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<v Speaker 4>But that's interesting, isn't it? It shows you you know

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<v Speaker 4>that the effects of xanax.

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<v Speaker 3>It makes you do bold things. Yeah, if you get

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<v Speaker 3>you get farther than those who are not on xanax.

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<v Speaker 4>Won do what you would do on a xanax. We

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<v Speaker 4>should give you one and see what happens, just for fun,

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<v Speaker 4>or like a couple of just to see. Yeah, okay, oh,

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<v Speaker 4>here's number eight.

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<v Speaker 2>You could.

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<v Speaker 3>The child is bold every eight.

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<v Speaker 1>Second listening to eight different bosses drawn on about mission statements.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, guy, that's a big beaver.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't find the beaver too.

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<v Speaker 4>It's a big beach. It doesn't it look bigger than

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<v Speaker 4>your average beaver.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how. I don't know now.

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<v Speaker 4>How many beavers do you think you've encountered? I don't

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<v Speaker 4>think I've ever seen a beaver in the wild.

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<v Speaker 1>Cauliflower, the beaver has only been at the zoo for

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<v Speaker 1>a few weeks.

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<v Speaker 4>Why would you name your beaver Cauliflower? Nobody likes cauliflower,

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<v Speaker 4>I do.

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<v Speaker 3>Keepers discovered that beaver named Cauliflower had escaped sometime before

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<v Speaker 3>the end of the day Wednesday, and they initially spotted

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<v Speaker 3>him near the rotary pavilion there in the zoo.

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<v Speaker 4>Maybe because he likes.

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<v Speaker 3>To eat cauliflower, he sparked a search that has now

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<v Speaker 3>gone on for over a week. They're using drones now

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<v Speaker 3>to try to find this beaver.

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<v Speaker 4>Nikki, do do bunnies eat cauliflower?

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<v Speaker 1>Get that other button?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh?

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, sorry, there go.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think that's good for them because it can

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<v Speaker 2>make them flatulant. And rabbits don't have a mechanism for farting.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh what yeah, so you can't make them do it.

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<v Speaker 2>It gives them gas bubbles in the time.

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<v Speaker 4>Imagine if you couldn't at least, I mean, if it

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<v Speaker 4>doesn't go one way, does it go the other way?

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<v Speaker 2>Or is it they can't Well, they actually totally they

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<v Speaker 2>can fart, but they can't vomit. So cauliflower makes them

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<v Speaker 2>too gassy and they get gas bubbles.

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<v Speaker 4>And Gary, it's kind of like you and here where

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<v Speaker 4>you got to hold in your flatulence for four hours,

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<v Speaker 4>So sometimes you burp a little bad.

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<v Speaker 1>But I do it out of courtesy now because I

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<v Speaker 1>don't have them.

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<v Speaker 4>I appreciate that. You're like, you're just like that that beaver.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's number seven all of the seventh son of the

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<v Speaker 1>seventh son, seven days, seven seven years of college.

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<v Speaker 4>Drain seven seven seven days. Nikki, we used to have

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<v Speaker 4>a cocktail when we did these nuggets, and now we don't.

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<v Speaker 4>And uh, we're still diculous, and we apologize for that.

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<v Speaker 1>Except her apologies. That's very nice.

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<v Speaker 4>Uh.

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<v Speaker 3>In China, twenty two year old man's been arrested after

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<v Speaker 3>he slashed another man in.

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<v Speaker 1>The middle of the street.

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<v Speaker 3>The thing is, the twenty two year old was completely naked.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh wait, the guy that was stabbed or the stab ee,

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<v Speaker 4>I mean the guys damn stabber.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, the stabber And I said China, I meant Singapore.

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<v Speaker 3>The Singapore Civil Defense Force said they got a call

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<v Speaker 3>for assistance after the man was taken conscious to the hospital.

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<v Speaker 3>He was arrested for voluntarily causing hurt by grievous means.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, and also being naked. Number six.

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<v Speaker 4>I got six, you got six, She got six.

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<v Speaker 1>Number six.

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<v Speaker 4>There's six more weeks of later by a picture of

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<v Speaker 4>me or rabbi and six drunk and longshomy. We just

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<v Speaker 4>dig you in a nursing home closer to us. I

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<v Speaker 4>don't have to guy, take dad, drink another six pack. Perfect.

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<v Speaker 4>They are trying to turn away spring breakers from spring

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<v Speaker 4>Break Land there in Bay County, Florida. There trying to

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<v Speaker 4>get rid of all the violence that comes along with

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<v Speaker 4>spring break. If Florida shutting down spring break, I mean

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<v Speaker 4>no fun is to be had anywhere. The the sheriff

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<v Speaker 4>of the county said, since the wild days of twenty fifteen,

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<v Speaker 4>when spring break chaos pushed us to rethink our path,

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<v Speaker 4>we've made tremendous strides and have seen some setbacks. That

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<v Speaker 4>year's violence, shootings and a beach assault made a unified

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<v Speaker 4>effort to shift Panama City Beach from an unsafe spring

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<v Speaker 4>break and a welcoming family destination. So they want families.

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<v Speaker 4>They want small children, not your your drunken TD kids.

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<v Speaker 1>Kids.

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<v Speaker 4>You know what I mean.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's number four for five.

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<v Speaker 4>I have five rules.

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<v Speaker 1>We begin bombing in five minutes.

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<v Speaker 4>Five little monkey, this is the year five point five.

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<v Speaker 4>Five will be a favorite.

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<v Speaker 1>Loose five pounds immediately.

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<v Speaker 4>Wow, you were not late to your wedding? God, No,

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<v Speaker 4>I've never been late to anything.

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<v Speaker 1>I disagree, but go on.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm rarely late to things.

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<v Speaker 1>That's not never.

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<v Speaker 4>When have I been late to something?

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<v Speaker 1>You've been late to this show?

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, something I mean not thing that matters.

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<v Speaker 1>Never.

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<v Speaker 4>Brides are late to their weddings all the time. Really,

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<v Speaker 4>it's a thing.

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<v Speaker 1>You're right.

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<v Speaker 3>My assumption is that all weddings went like mine, which

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<v Speaker 3>was that everybody got ready in the same place.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that the wedding was, then you should account for that.

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<v Speaker 4>Like I've never been a fan of the bride being

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<v Speaker 4>twenty minutes late because she's got to get ready. Like,

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<v Speaker 4>what are you talking about. You've known you've had to

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<v Speaker 4>get ready for.

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<v Speaker 3>You getting ready since five am. Yeah, good lord important.

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<v Speaker 3>Saint Lucie, Florida, a wedding was going on at twelve thirty,

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<v Speaker 3>and it was getting close to that time. Bride in

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<v Speaker 3>the passenger seat stopped by an officer. She was doing

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<v Speaker 3>one hundred well, the car she was in doing a

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<v Speaker 3>one hundred and five in a forty five mile an

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<v Speaker 3>hour zone. The driver was a guest of the wedding.

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<v Speaker 3>They were nearly fifteen minutes late already, and the officer

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<v Speaker 3>said to her, you're already late. The officer let them go,

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<v Speaker 3>but the driver has a mandatory court appearance.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's number four, pour minute.

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<v Speaker 4>It's probably on his fourth tranquilizer by now.

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<v Speaker 1>Commandment number four.

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<v Speaker 4>This isn't the same world you left four years I

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<v Speaker 4>can see a dude saying this because dudes like to

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<v Speaker 4>drive fast, right, you know how to operate a vehicle

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<v Speaker 4>at speeds of upwards one hundred and fifteen five miles

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<v Speaker 4>per hour? Do you not? I have exactly. I think

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<v Speaker 4>a lot of dudes had. So if you got pulled

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<v Speaker 4>over going one hundred and fifty five, then the officer

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<v Speaker 4>came over to your side and knocked on the window,

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<v Speaker 4>and you went ahead and roll down the window, would

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<v Speaker 4>you say to the officer, I know what I'm doing, trust.

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<v Speaker 3>Me, I'm good, officer, thanks though, thanks for checking on me.

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<v Speaker 1>I know what I'm doing.

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<v Speaker 4>That's what happened with a twenty year old guy in Florida.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a second Florida store, second in a row.

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<v Speaker 4>You know. I used to when I did this show

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<v Speaker 4>called The Sunday Morning News.

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<v Speaker 1>Heard of it.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I sometimes would have all the nuggets from Florida,

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<v Speaker 4>really Florida edition nuggets.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that's a good idea. We should try that one day.

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<v Speaker 1>It's very easy to do. Here's number three.

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<v Speaker 2>Three shall be the.

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<v Speaker 1>Number that count and the number of the counting shall

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<v Speaker 1>be three were dead within three hours.

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<v Speaker 4>Three security clearance level three.

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<v Speaker 1>All three three. I got all three of you guys

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<v Speaker 1>for the rest of your name be born live. After

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<v Speaker 1>about three days, they both start to stink.

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<v Speaker 3>Three White in Europe had to divert and declare may

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<v Speaker 3>day after an unclaimed iPad was discovered on board this

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<v Speaker 3>Transsavia France Boeing airplane was flying from Paris to Lisbon

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<v Speaker 3>back on April tenth when the iPad was found, but

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<v Speaker 3>the pilots declared to may day. The crew reported what

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<v Speaker 3>they referred to as an unidentified object.

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<v Speaker 4>We've talked about this before about random phones that are

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<v Speaker 4>lost on a plane, diverting flights.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, causing the whole flight to be diversed, which is.

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<v Speaker 4>Crazy because everybody is traveling with iPads and iPhones. So anyway,

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<v Speaker 4>number two, what's going on? You two? There's two sons

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<v Speaker 4>and no women. You've done a half marathon?

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<v Speaker 1>I have done a couple.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah. Have you ever been in a sperm race?

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<v Speaker 1>Probably? I mean fifty two years ago?

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<v Speaker 4>Right?

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<v Speaker 1>I won?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah? Well we all did, right, Yeah, look at us,

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<v Speaker 4>you guys. We are all winners of a sperm race. Guys,

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<v Speaker 4>we've all won a race against how many other sperms

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<v Speaker 4>are there?

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<v Speaker 2>Is it?

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<v Speaker 1>Sperm?

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<v Speaker 4>Is it like deer?

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<v Speaker 1>Probably?

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<v Speaker 4>All right? So like a milk like we were the

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<v Speaker 4>fastest sperm. Yep, my god, I feel accomplished.

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<v Speaker 3>Doesn't that make you feel better? We'll just play that

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<v Speaker 3>for motivational Monday. Well, yeah, we will. Shannon's realization that

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<v Speaker 3>she did win a race that's never been.

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<v Speaker 4>Fast in my whole life. Uh.

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<v Speaker 3>There is a startup here in LA that is organizing

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<v Speaker 3>sperm racing. Two competitors, two samples, one microscopic finish line.

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<v Speaker 1>They're saying, how did I win that? What do you mean?

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<v Speaker 1>How did you win this?

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<v Speaker 4>I just don't get it.

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<v Speaker 1>Your flagella was whipping around back and forth.

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<v Speaker 4>Is that what it's called the little tail? Wow?

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<v Speaker 3>The thing is you got to have a microscope to

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<v Speaker 3>get her go getter. You should pat yourself on the back.

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<v Speaker 4>I feel like it. Yeah, huh. It's number one, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>number one, number one.

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<v Speaker 1>We're number one, Ben.

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<v Speaker 4>I decided to look out for number one.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you the number one row?

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<v Speaker 4>Number one?

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<v Speaker 1>Number one, number one? You know what?

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<v Speaker 3>I just don't think people other other countries are as

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<v Speaker 3>excited about this path of love expression as they are

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<v Speaker 3>in the United States or other places in Thailand.

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<v Speaker 4>Certainly, the age difference here.

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<v Speaker 3>Sixty seven year old oh and his thirty five year

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<v Speaker 3>old partner Lynn set up a tripod before they stripped

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<v Speaker 3>naked and got it on on the street and Pataya Thailand.

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<v Speaker 4>Thailand is a lot of things, clean is not one

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<v Speaker 4>of them when it comes to the major cities. Just

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<v Speaker 4>like any other place with major cities, it just seems

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<v Speaker 4>like it would be unsanitary to have sex on them

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<v Speaker 4>in the middle of the street.

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<v Speaker 1>There was a guard that took a picture of them.

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<v Speaker 3>Police were able to track them down at their hotel

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<v Speaker 3>and then took them to the station for how.

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<v Speaker 4>Does you even make news in twenty twenty five, Like,

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<v Speaker 4>isn't isn't this just a Tuesday? A couple having sex

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<v Speaker 4>in the middle of the street.

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<v Speaker 3>First of all, they didn't know that having public sex

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<v Speaker 3>was illegal and time.

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<v Speaker 4>I wouldn't neither. I would think that that would be fine.

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<v Speaker 3>What I would just assume that most places you're not

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<v Speaker 3>supposed to do that.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, Thailand's a little sex forward in some ways, okay,

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<v Speaker 4>but on the street a lot of people go there

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<v Speaker 4>for sexual purposes.

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<v Speaker 1>Sexual purposes