Speaker 1: Yet she says, there's this thing that Joe does. He
looks at her, they lock eyes. Geez, you gotta put
up more of a fight than that. I mean, that's
lots of people look at people. I mean, it's one
of the major ways we look at people. You know
what I mean?
Speaker 2: You know I miss being young and dumb, Yeah, I
really do. Yeah, it's a simpler time.
Speaker 1: You just fucking walk into a wall and bean bag
right off of it, Go take a shot, throw up,
and have sex with something.
Speaker 2: Or say stupid things like when we lock eyes. I
completely forget that. He treats me like shit.
Speaker 1: Right, Hilo, Welcome to another brand spanking episode of another
below deck podcast. I'm doing. That's pat permission to come aboard, granted.
What is going on with you on this lovely Friday afternoon.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm drinking in a little early okay. Yeah, I
had a stressful week.
Speaker 1: Working for baby.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm gonna drink. You know, I've been so
good for about five months. Yeah, time to fall off
the wagon, get drunk.
Speaker 1: Well, let's get some bumps, some bruises, and suck down
a couple of high noons. Hey, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2: Now I want to update the audience. I have reached
out to the previous charter guests to get their side
of the story. Okay, they have yet to respond to me,
but I have.
Speaker 1: Well it's uh, I think who cares at this point?
Speaker 2: I guess. So, yeah, you know, old news is no news,
right is that? I don't know.
Speaker 1: So, you know, maybe we'll talk to that person, maybe
we won't. But what we will do is put this
episode without any ads at Patreon dot com Slash another
podcast network. We will also cover the Bachelorette there, which
the last episode of the Bachelorette was so funny, hm,
I mean me, you and Rubes on the stew just
talking about a twenty minute wicked the feature film integration
in that's dating show.
Speaker 2: And don't crazy, and don't forget that idiot that got
tossed because he couldn't form a sentence. I believe his
name is Sam.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: By the way, Mollie and Jason, they were the Bachelor
a Date Nation couple that was on that radio show.
Part of that bit, they said it was even worse
in person, and I can't believe how that's possible.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So go to Patreon dot com session on the
podcast network, lots of really good content and free content.
All of it is there. We have an episode of
below Deck to get into. I don't know why. There's
plenty to talk about. I don't have a lot of
notes on this happenode.
Speaker 2: Me neither Dylan. I'm sorry because we don't have a
lot of notes. We need to buy waste some time. Yeah,
I want to do a tease for another podcast show,
behind the Wall at patron dot com slashon of the
podcast network. Forgive me for the plug. The second one.
I'm going to drop some interesting stories. Matthew Perry was
he died about like eight months ago. I had predicted
he was going to die two years ago, and then
he died. So Patty has a crystal ball with it.
Speaker 1: And again, you know, you say you have a crystal
ball with dead people. But that's a little bit like,
you know, so what if I say someone old, You're
going to say, umm no, But that makes sense. Who's
the guy that shakes from back to the future.
Speaker 2: Shakes from back to the Michael J.
Speaker 1: Fox? Oh yeah, so if.
Speaker 2: I was going to predict he's going to die, yeah,
I predict.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's essentially the same thing as predicting that
Matthew Perry is going to die.
Speaker 2: I mean it's literally a coin talk.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you forgive me, give me in the.
Speaker 2: News today and we'll get to below deck in a second.
Matthew Perry, and.
Speaker 1: I won't say Michael J. Fox is a brave, courageous
man who has brought a lot of light and education
to a horrible disease. And I'm sorry that I said that.
He shakes him back to the future. That was well.
Speaker 2: He also said he'd be dead soon.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean I think the first thing was the worst. Right.
Speaker 2: Well, I looked up to him as a kid in
nineteen eighty four when he was on family ties. I'm like,
I want to be like Alex P. Keaton. I dressed
like him for the first day of school in the
sixth grade.
Speaker 1: We all wanted to, We all want.
Speaker 2: He was so funny and cool. Anyway, So, Matthew Perry,
he died of academine overdose about eight months ago.
Speaker 1: You had to do it. A lot of ketamine, a lot.
Speaker 2: Of who was a drug add Yeah. So five people
were arrested today, including two doctors, a personal assistant, and
someone named the Ketamine Queen Boy. Watch out with what
you call yourself. The cops we come and looking for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So her friends all said, I think
that this is a little too high profile. I think
that you should kind of lay low.
Speaker 2: Call yourself the k queen.
Speaker 1: And she's like, well, I wanted. I wanted to be louder.
They're like, well, you shouldn't because you know the.
Speaker 2: Cops will come looking for you. Well, my wife two
years ago worked for a high profile client, not on
the same level with Matthew Perry, but kind of around there,
and this particular female client said, hey, go pick up
my prescription. My wife looked at it and it was
under a fake name, and my wife said, I don't
feel comfortable doing this, and she said, no problem. Two
weeks later she was.
Speaker 1: Let go, Well we'll break that story.
Speaker 2: I'm going to break that out's the teas.
Speaker 1: But she could have been an accessory to murder.
Speaker 2: She'd be if that woman died, my wife could be
up for manslaughter.
Speaker 1: Yea. So it was a call which great Norm McDonald
bit that sounds way worse than murder, right, but it's not.
Speaker 2: And we're gonna get to the low deck in a second.
My second story that I'm gonna share on aps, which
you guys need to pay five dollars for. Is today
in the news, busy news day. I'm looking at the
news as I normally do, and a news story headline says,
the son of Creden's Clearwater Revival, the band the drummer,
the son of the band Creden's crow Water Driver, Okay,
is wanted for murder because he killed his girlfriend. Okay,
and he maybe wanted for a second murder. And as
I'm staring at the picture, I said, I know Brent.
Speaker 1: Oh wow.
Speaker 2: I played in a band with Brent thirty years ago
in college.
Speaker 1: Did he have dead eyes?
Speaker 2: No, he didn't. He was like a hippie dippy. He
was one of those like he lived in a house
that his dad paid for that he was never around,
and we'd always practice in his living room. Right, and
he killed his wife or girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, sometimes you have a hard life and
you just get pissed off and you know you kind
of five off the handle a little bit and start
killing multiple people.
Speaker 2: That's right. Well, anyway, that's gonna be on another podcast show.
And that's why you need to subscribe, because we tell
and break down amazing stories.
Speaker 1: On that show. Yeah, and then I think I'll talk
about like parking etiquette. There you go, Yeah, yeah, exactly, Okay,
I'm ready to get there, so let's get into it.
I would give this episode, you know, it's a it's
a middling sixty seven pot. What am I saying? There
was a lot of fun stuff. I'm gonna give it
sixty nine pots because it was a sexy episode. Joe
has revealed himself to be a toolbag, a bit of
a tool bag cheese. It always breaks my heart to
see like very loud signals I am a fucking douchebag
and women still what is that? It's like nuts to me.
Speaker 2: It's young stupid love. Yeah, yeah, we're all guilty of it.
Speaker 1: A lot of leaking, a lot of rain, a lot
of heartbreak, a lot to gain. It's sixty nine pots.
Speaker 2: Yeah. This episode was kind of like all over the place.
It didn't have a beginning, it didn't have an it
was crazy. Jon Johno is growing on me. I'm starting
to like him a lot.
Speaker 1: M VP of this season.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I thought it was a decent episode. Although, oh,
another piece of blowdeck news or a piece of blowdeck news.
Chef Dave is engaged now, and I'm so happy that
he could actually show up to something that he agreed
and planned to show up to. That's good of Chef Dave. Now,
Chef Dave is going to make an appearance later in
this season, and I hope it's just as a guest
chef to cook Sandy and her lovely fiance's meal for
their celebration, and not that John Oh gets acts and
Chef Dave replaces him.
Speaker 1: I'm putting this out there right now. I don't care
if he's.
Speaker 2: How many times have Chef Chef Dave been booked to
be on this podcast and he doesn't show up?
Speaker 1: Probably two or three?
Speaker 2: Three?
Speaker 1: Yeah, if we If Dave is on that, I don't
want to talk to Dave.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to talk to Dave again. Dave fool
me once, Shame on you, fool me twice. Shame on you.
Shame on me. Well, George Bush, you fool me twice?
You shame on you.
Speaker 1: That's your Bush. Okay, it's good. How many pots do
you give the episode of fourteen? Is this a rough start?
I feel like we plugged the Patreon for like fifteen.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, they enjoyed it because I don't know what
I'm going to talk about. I have two pages of notes.
I normally have six.
Speaker 1: Well, last we left off, we had to have a
sit down with sir. Ellie calls him sir, Joe. That's right, Ellie,
don't call him sir. Call him grout show, don't call
him sir. He tells her that the date is not
going to work for him. He feels like it's too
much pressure, and Ellie's confused because he liked her enough
to make out with her the night before, but not
enough to sit down and have a conversation with her. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I want to spend some time on this. Okay. So
this is a very uncomfortable interaction between the balk and
Biscuit and Joe, in which he rescinds his participation in
the date that he's already accepted. Right right, Okay, you
can't do this to a girl. Girls are not used
to this. They this is in their DNA. Men were
used to rejection. We are used to uh being embarrassed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, are you saying that men play more of a
volume game than women?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, yeah, a lot of average. She just asked
out a bunch of people, and you hope one of
them says, yes, I mean you rarely will go zero
percent right, right, But for the Balkan Biscuit, I actually
felt for here, and it was especially painful to watch
her kind of suppress what I believe what she was
really thinking. So when she said, uh uh, you know,
I don't want anything serious either, her really her inner
voice was saying, I can't believe you're rejecting me on
National TV, you motherfucker.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, that's her interact.
Speaker 2: And then he said, yeah, yeah, well I you know,
I just I just kind of want to have fun
in life. She said, sure, sure, let's just have fun. No,
no no pressure tonight or inner voice or monster boy
said if I had a fucking gud, I blow your
fucking hat off. You're doing this be on National TV,
you motherfucker.
Speaker 1: That's so crazy that she's like a she's like a
cracked out guinea internally, right, Okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she's a part of the mafia.
Speaker 1: That's very very interesting. Yeah. No. A couple of things
about this, like, well, I think that we can understand
coming from a man's perspective, like oh no, this is
I don't want to lead anybody astray. I really have
no interest in this whatsoever. What happened is you were
too big of a coward to say no when she
initially asked you. Maybe it came from a good place.
She didn't want to reject her on camera on the teak.
But now that you've said yes, what is forty five
minutes out of your day? You can lay out all
the things that you need to lay out at that
dinner table. You know, you can say I'm only interested
in having sex with you after I've had four to
six cocktails, and you'll still sound like a dick, but
you know, at least it'll all be kind of They
are out in the la.
Speaker 2: Yes, I agree with that. I will say the young
people when they're in their twenties, they hold Fridays and
Saturdays and free nights very precious. It's just like the
you know, the Yeah show. I'm never going to get
another one of these Yeah. So. But I will say
with you, Dylan, I'm with you. Just go out for
the forty five minutes. Don't do this to girls. They
really internalizing. I one time turned down a blowjob. You
would have thought I killed this girl's family.
Speaker 1: She saw hrh. God, you can't turn down a blow job.
Speaker 2: I said, I'm good, and she was deeply hurt and offended.
Speaker 1: Oh, I completely understand. I mean that is a real
olive branch. Seriously, and then call it a job for nothing,
you know, and you turned that down. I mean it's
very hurtful.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, by the way, when he parts, he says, hey,
you don't hate me. I hate when people that just
did something really hurtful to you try and get back
some kind of from that.
Speaker 1: Are.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not bad. I'm just going to cast a
curse on you and your family for the next hundred years.
M y, you burn in hell.
Speaker 1: Well, the way that Joe behaves is a betrayal to
the masculine. You know, this is this is not something
that is this is just this is just not good behavior. Okay,
So we get to and Gail is losing respect for him.
Now look at.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, Gail, yes, yes, yes, you think he's a dick.
And you explain this by saying that this guy, I mean,
he just wants what he wants and he doesn't care
about another person's feeling. And it's kind of like, Gail,
I love you. But does that sound familiar to you?
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound familiar to me. Cheese is doing recon.
She's a paranoid one. Huh h, she's uh, she's always
got her ear in the soup can.
Speaker 2: She's a little nutty.
Speaker 1: This one a little bit.
Speaker 2: I asked to get her on as a guest. She's
already working on another boat.
Speaker 1: Oh good for her.
Speaker 2: So tonight Nate picking up someone else's laundry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, tonight is uh, we're going out. So Nathan is
going to dress to impress, and that means dressing like
your favorite Dwayne the Wayne Johnson.
Speaker 2: Dwayne the Wayne Johnson.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he I don't know kind of
what transpired wherein he thought that looking pretty much exactly
like Joyne the Wayne Johnson was a good thing to do,
but he changes.
Speaker 2: You know what reminded me when they brought up The Rock.
It's like, boy, I really wanted that sea. He's in
three you know of Young Rock.
Speaker 1: Oh, thanks for clarifying, because I didn't know, you know
the Young Rock?
Speaker 2: Oh right, yeah, no, he actually explains that outfit in
one of the episodes. That's how deep they went into
his fascinating life history.
Speaker 1: Young Rock had two seasons.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 1: Oh well, nobody watched it.
Speaker 2: Well the first season they did got him the second season, Okay, yeah,
he's really not that interesting of a person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Temana's piss.
Speaker 2: Yeah it is piss.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I guess careers going down the tubes. And I helped.
I helped you that you did. I started the revolution,
Like I was screaming from the rafters three years ago,
Hey the Rock sucks. People were like, what are you
talking about. He's awesome.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, dude, You're like the Hannibal to his room.
I mean, just a constant adversarial pressure and people people
looked at the Roman Empire aka the Rock, and they said,
how could somebody like pat take him down?
Speaker 2: But what I did?
Speaker 1: You did, Ramo, sir, So let's hit the vans cheese.
Here is the story of the refusal, and it's just
repulsed and disappointed in Joe. Cut to a toilet twenty
to twenty five minutes later and she'll be telling him
to stop being a fucking pussy and throwing it over.
Speaker 2: Yeah, throwing in me baby, throw it in my baby.
Speaker 1: So we Yeah. I was as I wrote this, I
was like, I'm interested to see if this deters eddietheg
in the future, it does not. We get to dinner
and we get some real sea rat sad scale stuff.
I think maybe not real sea rat sad scale, but
I think we might be charting with this story from Joe.
Speaker 2: Well, let me break down the sea rat history from Joe. Okay,
and this is why he doesn't want to be in
a serious relationship. His last serious relationship was in twenty seventeen,
and it didn't work out because all his date nights
were in his car because that's where he lived his
Burger's delicious. Do you mind passing the ketchup? Sure it's
in the glove box. That's not going to work out
long term.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he can.
Speaker 2: I just say this about dating someone while you live
in a car. Yeah, the car sex is bad too.
You get you get a good role going second and
third base, but you go for fourth base. You got
your fucking foot stuck in a drink holder, or worse,
your shirt catches fire in one of those cigarette lighters. Yeah,
next thing you know, you're both fucking dead.
Speaker 1: That's a real uh final destination way to go. Oh yeah,
I mean a lot of dominoes have to fall in
the right way for that to happen. How did he
pass away his tee? Well, he was banging and his
T shirt got stuck in between the clamp of the
second cigarette lighters. Absolutely crazy. Where does this chart though?
On the Sea rets Hat scale? A man living in
his car, hating himself, getting fat, having to break up
with somebody because he hates himself so much.
Speaker 2: Normally you get a point five just because you're living
in your car. But the very fact that he was
able to still get laid that then brings it back
down to a zero.
Speaker 1: So you're it was destitute. You're saying, essentially, oh, you
know what happened, what happened? You know what's happening. What's happening.
Oh yeah, he's a big baby. Oh that's what happens.
Speaker 2: He's a big baby.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, hang on, shut up? Why is this? It's
so weird? There's okay, if you listen to us to Patreon,
you know that there's a ghost in here. We know
that there's a ghost in here. Now that whole audio thing,
I can't truck it up to really anything other than
the poultry guys that exists in the studio.
Speaker 2: Oh that was Hillary.
Speaker 1: She lives here, Hillary, Yeah, she's a witch.
Speaker 2: She normally hangs out in the arcade game Golden Tea,
right right. I don't know. She likes golf or something.
Maybe that's what her husband likes to do before she
killed him, so she lives in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I want to apologize everybody for that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, another reason to go to Patroon. We will be
covering that the studio was haunted by ghost name Hillary,
who lives in the Golden t arcade game.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she killed her husband and I'm excited to
hear how she died. But we don't have time for
that right now. We have to get to Asia, who
would be bestowing upon Scott her last name, making his
name Scott got Scott. You know, no judgment. People do
whatever they want to do. But like, that's crazy.
Speaker 2: I know Karma's going to be mad at me for
saying this. I think she listens. I don't think I
don't see them too, get.
Speaker 1: Oh, I do one you think so?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And then there'll be those people that are like,
this is my husband, Scott, Scott, he took my last name,
and you're at a dinner party like.
Speaker 2: You.
Speaker 1: People are nuts but lovely, you know, but they're just
kind of the kookie kind.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 1: They're the kind of people that can get in a
van and drive around for month's sun and shitting in
buckets and eating tuna fish. It's crazy. Joe and Ellie
have a good chat. We're at the dinner, Yeah, at
the dinner, and Ellie says, you know. Upon him realizing
that this is what their day could have been, she says,
how could.
Speaker 2: He chase away good pussy?
Speaker 1: Yeah? How can you chase away good pussy? Which is
like okay, I mean, okay, wow, that's like, you know,
like okay, Lil Kim, you know what I mean. So
Ellie goes full al Pacino insomnia and drags Johnno into
the bathroom. This guy is so lovely. He he's grown
on me.
Speaker 2: I took an episode twelve to go you know what?
I like you maybe I got we got off on
the wrong foot.
Speaker 1: Everyone can go to him and be better for it, Aisha,
Their their morning hellos are just so warming. Gail can
go to him with outfit stuff, Ellie can come complain
about paranoid relationship. He's just steady as a fucking rock,
that's right, or a cucumber. So the we go dancing.
She says that is this with the balk and biscuit. Ali,
uh no, not yet. She says, there's this thing that
Joe does. He looks at her, they lock eyes. Geez,
you gotta put up more of a fight than that.
I mean, that's lots of people look at people. I mean,
it's it's one of the major ways we look at people,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: You know I miss being young and dumb, Yeah, I
really do. Yeah, it's a simpler time.
Speaker 1: You just fucking walk into a wall and bean bag
right off of it, go take a shot, throw up,
and have sex with something.
Speaker 2: Or say stupid things like when we lock eyes. I
completely forget that. He treats me like shit, right, it's
so hot?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah miss that. So Gail and Nathan are going
to go on a date. She's she's very emotional about
her relationship with Nathan, and we we love Gail. I
kind of turned a corner with the two of them.
You know, we were quite cynical about their love and
still are vans.
Speaker 2: Oh you have to be their sea rats.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I kind of shipped them.
Speaker 2: Well I do too, but don't. Because a relationship build
on a foundation of dare I say they were smoochy
smooch in a little bit before she ended that relationship.
It's a way to start.
Speaker 1: Infidelity is never a good thing to break ground on
right and then build. But sea rat infidelity is I
mean essentially like building a mansion on a marble.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like building a relationship on a jello. It
isn't a foundation at all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you'll sink into the jell o. Right, All right,
let's get to the next thing that happens after that.
We'll talk about an amazing company called Body Smart Fitness.
The two leads have a seat. Ian is very Michael
Scott in this moment sitting with Asha. He's in a
Hawaiian shirt. He's bouncing up and down, and he is
completely oblivious to the fact fact that the interior of
this vessel is inoperable.
Speaker 2: I appreciated Kermit's candor because the most would say, my
department's great, because you know, they're tech. They're not competing departments,
but certainly they you know, you'd kind of you don't
want to admit that your your department is.
Speaker 1: This is where I don't think that the Robert Green
has helped you. I mean it's helped you in certain ways.
But what is what There is literally no competition between
the two of them in any way, shape or form.
I don't think so.
Speaker 2: Well, perhaps just the concept of that being that they
are heads of departments. You wanted to see that they're
both running a tight ship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I guess Ian could say,
you know, look at my guys, they're fine. Look at
her guys.
Speaker 2: But I think she helped him by saying, oh no,
my my department's a complete mess, complete mess. It helped him.
That was a good that it's a good kerment.
Speaker 1: And we'll get to it later in the show. But
we continue to do this thing where how Ellie or
excuse me, how cheese has a job. It's getting to
the point where I'm like, they're messing with us. You're
fucking with me, right? How is how is this person
still hired on this vessel?
Speaker 2: I like how they framed it, like a few episodes ago,
that she is so on the low end of the
wrong that she's unfirable.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, Yeah.
Speaker 2: There has to be a fireable offense, yeah, at.
Speaker 1: Some point, or you know, a cumulative offense that you
know results in one, one big one. We measure it
as one big offense with all these little kind of
bites at the apple. But yeah, Asha tells Ian that no,
I very much want to maime and fire my crew
very badly. I feel horrible for Asha because she's been
just crushing it lately. Okay, well, a little bit more.
Brion Ellie have a chat wherein she's apologizes for the
whole Joe thing. She apologizes for the entire season really,
and Ellie says that she approached her aggressively to try
to break through the defensive shield, which is not really
an apology but quite cathartic. She just then says a
She almost warns Ellie about who Joe is and calls
him a flea.
Speaker 2: Well, Dylan. They bond over being able to bury the
hatchet in multiple past arguments, but also they bond over
having a common enemy temporarily right until one of them
will be being finger banged over a toilet roll in
about eight minutes. But at this very moment, right, they're bonded.
Speaker 1: Today's episode is it brought to you by Body Smart
one on one coaching. Great. Tell me what you love
about this company?
Speaker 2: What I love about it is it makes sense. It's
a common sense approach to weight loss. Dylan, you know
all these people trying to get these fast track fast fads. Oh,
if I eat eighteen hundred cookies a day, I'll lose
two pounds. That's not gonna work. Oh if I don't know,
if I starve myself, that's what. No. How you do
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dot huh. Okay, let's get into the.
Speaker 2: Alliance that is very short lived. Yes, because Cheese goes
to drop a deuce and Joe follows her in the bathroom. Yes,
and he gives her those eyes again.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The man she referred to as a flea finds
her in a toilet five minutes after rebranding him as
a kind of annoying insect. But those eyes, as you mentioned, Pat,
he's essentially like a medusa, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not a snake coming out of his head.
It's those fucking eyes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's those eyebrows. And when you look at them,
they kind of animate and they start to slither like
slugs and you start stopping. I mean, it's crazy. The
pa this guy has. They hop into the toilet and
I'm not really sure what trans I don't I believe.
Speaker 2: Fluids were exchanged.
Speaker 1: Fluid I think so, Oh, I don't think he washed
his hands. No, I don't think so, you don't think so.
Now I think what happened was like you know, okay,
so like okay, should we do it? Should we do this?
Speaker 2: Well? I don't I do. I will say it seemed
odd because it seemed kind of as gross as it is.
I don't want to have sex in the bath and
personally but hot. It was getting hot and heavy in there,
and then suddenly it completely changed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so Joe realized that maybe he wasn't
as full of blood as he wanted to be, and
maybe he looked around at this dark room that smelled
like shit with her leg hiked up on a toilet
almost falling into the bowl, and the blood drained even further,
and he was like, you know what it's about day?
And then she really went full I lean Warnos on
him and was like, be a fucking man, or I
will Brie was pissed. Yeah, she was wanted to get
torn away in that bathroom. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Women are more selective than men. It's special occasion when
they decide to give it up. Not like us, we'll
just throw it into anything.
Speaker 1: Well no, so yeah, that's what happened. We get a
little transparency with Brie. I think we get back in
the vans. I think we've all had this person in
our lives, someone that kind of cranks up the impulsiveness
in you and you become what Breed describes as not
a good human. And that's the state that she's in
right now. We head back to the boat for some nuts.
I was almost sure he was going to go boomerang
right to Ellie. Yeah, because would not put that past
him in a second. But alas, we just end the
night with a text from Cheese we should talk in
the morning.
Speaker 2: You know, no one ever text and says let's chat
in the morning and it's gonna be something good. Yeah,
No one ever says hey, let's chat and then you
chat with him and go, hey, I wanted to give
you ten thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: It always ends up with you sitting in a chair
saying you do have ades.
Speaker 1: Oh always, it always ends up with you sitting in
a chair saying you do have aids. You do have it?
Speaker 2: Damn its.
Speaker 1: I mean you know what I think we have been
incredible today. I mean, it's such a good podcast, dude.
I don't know what it was this morning, Like I
just all day I've been it's such a fog.
Speaker 2: Really, yeah, I've been. I've been in a crappy mood
today too. Ye feel good now though.
Speaker 1: Meed too. So we wake for the next morning there
are storms on the horizon. I actually love Nathan's little
date idea of rock climbing. That's fun.
Speaker 2: Well, he frames it as he wants to do something
that is fun, dangerous, and adventurous, And I was thinking,
why don't you go find out where Gail's boyfriend works,
drive over next to the boat, go hey, Jim, and
then start making out with her because you could get
the same experience out of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I think he was he was looking
for something a little safer, but he definitely was like,
what's something that's gonna like bring us closer together? And like,
what what's an activity where I can like just kind
of like stare at her butt for most of the afternoon.
And he finds that in rock climbing. But all joking aside,
it's a very cute data, very cute dad there. Okay,
so cheese heads into the laundry room, chatting on the
phone with a friend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all this is all right. So you thought Sandy
laid the hammer down on those charter guests last episode,
Boy put down the phone basically orders her to I was,
and by the way, she Cheese deserves it. I just
think she should be fired.
Speaker 1: Cheese walks in to a laundry room in complete disrepair,
talking on speaker to a friend now while Sandy is
ironing her own very hideous orange garment. But the fact
that this happened, this is where I'm looking at this,
and I'm wondering, are you fucking with me? Because she
feels so comfortable in her mediocrity that she's just I mean,
I don't blame her. She's been doing this the entire
season and there's really been nothing punitive sent her way whatsoever.
Speaker 2: I think if we ever get a reunion out of
these people, which we never do anymore, Yeah, they'd say
all she was really bad at was laundry. She kind
of got her shit together with doing the cabins and
good with service. This was the one thing that people
were focusing on, is how horrible she is here.
Speaker 1: Well, we have a conversation with her for the one
hundred and eleventh time. I was going to say, Nathan
heads up to us, Sandy if he can take Gale
off the boat. And this is honestly, when I was thinking,
is he kind of like is he cute? Nate? Not
like aesthetically, I'm just like, is he a little cutie pie?
I mean he said he was getting nervous about iving
like is he cutie?
Speaker 2: He's a cutie pie?
Speaker 1: Deal.
Speaker 2: But let me remind you about five episodes ago, when uh,
I don't know, a producer asked him, how do you
feel about her having a boyfriend? And he basically, I
don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he said, fuck that guy.
Speaker 2: Fuck that guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So maybe he's not cutie pie. Maybe he's Maybe
he's just a fucking.
Speaker 2: Serru Also, Nathan, maybe you listen, Maybe you don't. Maybe
some of his family does. You should go see a
hair specialist. You are going bald. I'm sorry you are.
Speaker 1: He is.
Speaker 2: I don't want him to lose his hair before, you know, because.
Speaker 1: A lot of guys, you have to be proactive about it.
You got to be proactive, right, all right? So hi
key Fiasco Johno doesn't want Brett to get fired, and
he's doing his best to be like, you know, figure
the fuck out out getting together can't be completely incompetent.
Sandy calls a shout at the bridge who wants to
know much to show a show where she's going to
propose to her fiance and it's very adorable. But I'm thinking,
are we going to talk about cheese and laundry for
the one hundred and eleventh time? Because this is insane?
What just took place? Well, they get to that bri
is in the movie Clueless right now, she's Alicia Silverstone
walking around this boat just lighting shit on fire and
going shopping, and they're just like, we, what are we
gonna do? Maybe fire her? I don't know. I mean, listen,
she's fun. I don't necessarily I don't want her to
get fired for the show, but it's just crazy that
the boat didn't fire anyways, dead horse. She speaks to
Asha about this and says, I want you to find
out a way to get her through the season because
you are standing for all of your meals. This is where,
like again, I like Brion the show. I think Bree's great,
but as this is an actual work environment, how are
you looking at Asha, not sleeping, not eating, working way
too hard, having to do fifty different things that she's
not supposed to be doing, already understaffed, and not solve
the problem. Mmmm, it's it's nuts to me.
Speaker 2: Well, maybe they take a page from my book. I
never liked firing somebody. I always felt bad for him,
even when they fucking deserved it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that could be a little bit of you're
a little sweety pie.
Speaker 2: I'm a sweety pie.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So, hey, don't we have a new stew coming on?
Wasn't that teased last week? It's a pretty cute blonde
named Carrie. I think, yeah, she's uh, they got to
fire someone.
Speaker 1: Then she's already sure fucking from Liverpool or something. Oh great,
Why do you say it was so much distained?
Speaker 2: Oh I'm not in love with that accent.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's tough.
Speaker 2: I love this new season of Love is Blind UK.
It's Dylan. It's really good. You should enjoy it now
that you don't have to take notes on it or
recap it.
Speaker 1: It's so much more and people want us to recover
it so badly. But guys, Love Is Blind is a
gauntlet of work. It's just, you know, we can't do
it all right, So Gail is heading out for the day.
I love John of the resident gay vital men in
women's lives. They are not attracted to them. There's complete security,
and they can tell them honestly that jacket is not
going to work. You know. You you need that, you do,
because it's hard for men who are in relationships with
women to be as blunt as is sometimes necessary.
Speaker 2: Women almost enjoy being critiqued by gay guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah my god, I look like shit? Yeah, why yeah?
Speaker 2: They love it. Can you imagine a husband telling her that,
I don't know if that eyeline is working on you tonight.
She's like, what, we nott that?
Speaker 1: But I had a gay moment the other day and it,
you know, one gay moment, one slip up, and now
you know, the families are laughing about it, and it's
turned into this whole thing. But my wife walked downstairs
and I don't know what came over me, but I said,
oh my god, why is your hair so flat? And
uh and yeah that was my game moment. But but
her hair was flat. Okay, here you go. She has
voluminous hair. But something was going on that day, and
I apologize, so.
Speaker 2: The preference sheet meeting.
Speaker 1: Well, we mentioned that Johna' is the MVP of the season.
Speaker 2: Well, I wouldn't say he's the MVP. Oh, I was
been doing an okay job lately.
Speaker 1: I would say he's the MVP this season. I'm so sorry,
I'm skipping so far ahead of my nose.
Speaker 2: We're at the preference sheet meeting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, preference sheet meeting, O friend sheet.
Speaker 2: May These are getting shorter and shorter. I remember these
affairs used to at least take up two minutes of
an episode. Yeah, not anymore. No, it's twenty eight seconds.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2: They just give who the primary are and what they
do and what they want.
Speaker 1: Well, the primary is going to be Pamela Duke, a
nautical jewelry line. She is the owner of. These vacations
are getting way cheaper. How do you make that much
money with a nautical themed jewelry line that sounds like
a neighborhood gals event in like a Florida retirement community.
Speaker 2: That seems like a fun website that you and your
husband put together. Yeah, and you show up to flea
markets just this yeah yeah, yeah, but yeah, a flourishing
business that pays for a yacht trip. You're not John Legend.
Speaker 1: Very confusing. So they're going to be stuck at the dock, obviously,
because that happens probably one out of every four charters.
So rock climbing very cute, gale, very hot. I don't know,
I kind of love the two of them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was fun. Sye in the six and nine
year old scale, those walls making him look like a
complete whimp.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, it's too scary. You know. I was at
a summer camp when I was a boy and there
was a child who had stated that he was too
scared to rock climb, and you know, all the kids
and the counselors were kind of engaging in this, like
you need to push past your fearest kind of mindset,
and they were wrong to do so, because that child
got to the top and he was so scared that
he could not belay down, but he was scared enough
to begin shitting. Oh that's right. Shit flew down from
the heide of the wall and splattered onto the ground.
And he was ridiculed for the rest of the summer.
And I don't know what happened to him.
Speaker 2: But well, I bet when he was probably like twenty
four He's like, Wow, enough times past. I bet I
bet everyone that was there on that faithful day has
forgotten that horrible memory.
Speaker 1: But not you.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, we never forget something like that. I
have also had a calming story eighth grade Dale Dimeontopolis,
who was also our high school football coach. You piece
of shit. I hope you're Dad Keith.
Speaker 1: He could say that about a lot of people.
Speaker 2: No, no, I don't. And Dale, who's the gym coach,
the forty year old gym coach, and I'm fourteen or however,
eighth grader is I'm holding a rope. It's called top roping.
When people climb, you have to have someone holding it.
I'm holding it, but the guy is so fat. This
kid fill up kind of let's go out of my hand,
and I kind of still I hold on. He doesn't
like fall to break his neck or anything, but he
definitely falls. Dail Time Atopless comes over, puts his finger
in my face and says, you're an idiot. What the
hell you doing? Like, you're an idiot. You're an idiot.
You're a forty year old here, You're an idiot. God,
I hope he's dead. I hate that guy.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, he really impacted your life.
Speaker 2: He's the guy who grabbed my football helmet and swung
me around in front of like eighty other adults that
didn't file charges against him. He would be spending a
night in jail for what he did to me.
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, all right, do you want to find him
and kill him?
Speaker 2: I think I prank phone called him when I was
like twenty three.
Speaker 1: Well, dude, listen up, I think better than you know
going out to wherever he lives and murdering him. I think,
you know, the two of us maybe want to do
a little docs and find his telephone number and just
kind of jerky boys him. Yeah you know what I mean,
We'll do that. You took my dog a bit, but
without the Indian accent.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay. So Joe and She's have a chat.
I guess you can call that a chat. This was
very vague boundary setting.
Speaker 2: Very vague because she doesn't want any boundaries. She said,
please don't text me, don't contact me, leave me alone.
And then when we get her alone, she's a little
cheeky and it's like, well, that wouldn't be bummed if
he breaks those rules, right, Okay, those are not boundaries.
Speaker 1: Those are not boundaries. So nothing was accomplished at all.
You didn't need to send a text. Let's talk in
the morning, because you guys were going to talk about nothing.
And she says that she wants to stop and that
she needs him to help her stop. Well, she's let
me give you a little piece of advice. Depending on
him to help you stop is a little bit like
depending on eighth grade pat to belay down a fat kid.
It's just not going to happen. Somebody's gonna shit their
pants or break their neck or get banged. I mean,
you know, I don't know, but we'll see what happens.
Ashia teaches Ellie how to do laundry on the sixth Charter,
and Joe says that he doesn't care about what he
did to Ellie. He is not interested. Very cool dude,
very very cool. No regrets, bro, no regrets, had to blast.
Just a fucking cool guy. I think. So Nathan and
Gale get back little kissy little Oh my god, did
I say I like him? Okay, all right, I've had enough.
You know we can That's it, right, we don't need
to do this. Let's get to the next day it
is raining cats and dogs.
Speaker 2: Now it's a medicane, not a hurricane of medicane.
Speaker 1: Doesn't even get me started. We started the season on
this trailer park yacht with one of the cabins already
flooding and leaking. Do we have another one flooding and
leaking or is it the same one?
Speaker 2: I think it's a different one. Well, you know what
they did say that that was a hose that they'd plugged,
could in fact be that same leaky hose?
Speaker 1: Well, Sandy says, when you take on this much water,
it can sink the boat.
Speaker 2: I think that was overstated. Can it was an overstated I.
Speaker 1: Mean, you're the captain, but this is quite a large boat. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't think a bathtub sized volume of water could
sink this motherfucker.
Speaker 1: I mean, so very poorly built chip if it could. Yeah,
So we find out the reason for the leak. It
was literally just a hose that was spraying water everywhere,
an evil hose. Now, JOHNO, we learned a little bit
about him. He used to show jump, which is you know, obviously,
I mean, the man is magical. He's a magical gay man.
And I'm gonna say it again MVP of the season.
Speaker 2: Well, you know what, since they declined us on talking
to Cheese, maybe my next go round, I'll ask to
talk to John.
Speaker 1: I'd love to talk to Johnto. Okay, so the guests arrive,
we're going to be doing some sushi things for them,
some salmon Bellini's and some unagi and whatnot. But first
Sandy's got to have a chat with them. Welcome to
your dream vacation. Here, your neighborhood jewelry line with seals
and shit is going gangbusters. We're happy to have you.
You are not going to be leaving the docs now. Honestly,
I thought they handled it really well. She was just like,
where's my booze? And then was like, it's not your fault, sweetie,
it's it's the gods.
Speaker 2: I didn't appreciate the male member of the group that
said the nonsensical thing, Well, you don't you don't pay
to be on the yacht. You pay to be off it. No, actually,
you're you're paying to be on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, mostly on it, most mostly on it.
Speaker 2: There's one very stupid thing to say.
Speaker 1: There's one man that looks like a gay scarecrow. Sandy
behind her did you see that guy?
Speaker 2: Yeah, a couple of weird looking people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he had like a rainbow polo, like an Elton
John polo on and then his face looked like, I
don't know, like something from Attack on Titan. It was.
Speaker 2: Age is a that was on that horrific.
Speaker 1: I didn't need to say that that's okay. I mean
it's ridiculous. So the roles fly up. This is your roles,
I think.
Speaker 2: So they like the lunch.
Speaker 1: The preferences are paid attention to. There is one person
that cannot have raw fish. This looks like it. Well
wear it's ugly head. Later perhaps we'll have a dead charter.
Guess for that, maybe you could.
Speaker 2: Have killed someone. That might be where he gets his
walking papers. But first, Dylan, they all head out for
that wine taste e in a hurricane. I don't think
the wine tasting establishment is open, but called it crazy, Yeah,
but I thought it was interesting that the primary at
some point yells in the van, I want to I
want to go back, turn back.
Speaker 1: Hi. We just want to call and see if you
guys were open, because I know there's like three feet
of rain right now, but we just wanted to see
if you guys were still for some reason, like pouring
wine for people, and they're like, uh, yeah, we're open,
and then you're like why.
Speaker 2: How?
Speaker 1: But yes, the drive to the winery is far too perilous,
especially knowing that these roads are only going to accumulate
more water and we're going to be driving back in
full blown fucking Jumanji. We end with more leaks and
a to be continued card.
Speaker 2: Hey, oh we're not coming back next week. Oh thank
oh it's to thank God.
Speaker 1: Yeah, nothing that really ever happens on below deck is
worthy of a to be continued card, but definitely not this.
You know, you guys have to use these more sparingly.
Getting the iTunes range reviews five stars, kind words. We
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