Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to Reality TV Crum, the world famous podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm Delia, I'm one of your co hosts, and I'm
Speaker 1: here with my real tight homegirl and my daughter in law,
Speaker 1: the Beauty US Beach. That's me double b Baby. We
Speaker 1: are here to talk, sister web hoody. We're currently in
Speaker 1: a rewind phase of the pod. We're in season nine,
Speaker 1: which is a very eventful season. And before we get
Speaker 1: into our recap, we do want to issue you a disclaimer. Please,
Speaker 1: you better hide your wife and you better hide those kids.
Speaker 1: I don't belong in a dumpster. What are you doing now?
Speaker 1: We're in a reverend podcast, obviously, we are just here
Speaker 1: to have a little bit of fun. So we sprinkle
Speaker 1: in some ball garrityes, some bad opinions, and if.
Speaker 2: You're a foo, get out of your honey boo booth.
Speaker 1: You might want to find yourself another dumpster.
Speaker 2: Bye.
Speaker 1: But if you're ready to take a trip to Gelstone,
Speaker 1: Texas with Cody and Christine Brown, then welcome to this dumpster.
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Speaker 1: There's nothing more. I mean that I would ever want ever,
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Speaker 1: Now, before we get into this somewhat iconic yeah, in
Speaker 1: terms of the lore of the Sister Wives universe, I
Speaker 1: do want to ask you if you have any takeaways,
Speaker 1: Like what are your thoughts? Beatrice?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, rewatching this episode.
Speaker 1: Is so depress it.
Speaker 2: It is like it's iconic, yes, because it is the
Speaker 2: infamous Galveston Anniversary slash couple's therapy trip, but it's like
Speaker 2: also super sad on behalf of Christine because she's obviously
Speaker 2: there to like work on her marriage. Meanwhile, Cody is
Speaker 2: just there to like rehab their image a little bit
Speaker 2: and be like yeah, I know, like we're doing great
Speaker 2: and like we're working on it. It's fine, and let
Speaker 2: me talk to my lesbian lover Pat.
Speaker 1: Like it's coordinated so strangely because I guess Pat lives
Speaker 1: in Galveston, and so they want to meet with Pat,
Speaker 1: and they also want to take their therapist, Nancy, and
Speaker 1: they want a couple intense couples therapy with their tour
Speaker 1: of Galveston.
Speaker 2: Yikes.
Speaker 1: So my take way is Galveston. I know a lot
Speaker 1: of people love Galveston, and I have a really good
Speaker 1: friend who lives near Galveston. I've been to Galveston once,
Speaker 1: me too. Look did you see those beaches? Though?
Speaker 2: Girl?
Speaker 1: Like, if I want to do a little holiday with
Speaker 1: my baby, I want to go where like the ocean
Speaker 1: is a turquoise blue yeah, and the sand is white
Speaker 1: like and clean. I'm worried about getting a staff infection
Speaker 1: or like walking on a needle in Galveston, it did
Speaker 1: not look great.
Speaker 2: Well, you didn't want to go to the pirate museum?
Speaker 1: No, that whole segment. I was like, if my husband ever,
Speaker 1: oh my God, took me on a date to a
Speaker 1: pirate I would just turn around and walk the fuck out.
Speaker 1: I'll be like, I'll see you at the bar. I
Speaker 1: see you at the bar. I don't want any of
Speaker 1: that business.
Speaker 2: No, yep, I agree.
Speaker 1: So without any further ado, let's get into our recap
Speaker 1: of Ceason nine, episode.
Speaker 2: Three three and marriage counseling Texas style.
Speaker 1: Okay, big yikes.
Speaker 2: But before we even get to that, we start off
Speaker 2: the episode at Robin's house again because she's looking for paperwork,
Speaker 2: her divorce papers and everything to bring to the lawyer's
Speaker 2: office because we're still rustling about with the adoption process.
Speaker 2: And now we're heading over to their lawyer's office in
Speaker 2: Nevada who helped Mary get her legal divorce, and we
Speaker 2: have a bit of a discussion about the adoption. I
Speaker 2: guess they tried to file for it in Montana, and
Speaker 2: the judge there was like, why are you filing out here?
Speaker 2: Obviously you guys live in Nevada. File it there. And
Speaker 2: you know, Robin's really worried because she wants to make
Speaker 2: sure that the process is as easy as possible for Preston.
Speaker 2: So that's why they wanted to do it in mon
Speaker 2: And they also said they wanted to do it in
Speaker 2: Montana because there's a bunch of judges there that are
Speaker 2: very sympathetic to polygamists. Because there's a big, bustling polygamist
Speaker 2: community up there, and so they thought it would be
Speaker 2: easier to do it over there.
Speaker 1: So I just call cap on all of that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think they really want it in Nevada. I think
Speaker 1: they'll know that they'll have the home court advantage. It'll
Speaker 1: be much more difficult, as we discussed last week, for
Speaker 1: Preston to show up for court hearings, to hire a lawyer.
Speaker 1: It's probably more expensive for the lawyer itself. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but there's probably prohibitions for president if it's in Nevada.
Speaker 1: So I think the plan all along was for Nevada.
Speaker 1: And there's all just performance, especially on the couch. Oh
Speaker 1: when Robin, who's recounting this whole saga, starts to hyperventilate
Speaker 1: or something, girl and has to walk off because she's
Speaker 1: still upset about us.
Speaker 2: She's so stressed out. Okay, get out of here, dude.
Speaker 2: I feel like this whole thing, I agree, is totally
Speaker 2: for the cameras, and even the fact that they're filming
Speaker 2: this kind of stuff, like when it's a very like
Speaker 2: private intimate thing like adoption is a big deal, and
Speaker 2: you're also taking the rights away from their biological father, Like,
Speaker 2: why are we putting all of this on TV in
Speaker 2: the first place? Are we really that desperate for content?
Speaker 2: The answer is yes, but yeah. So when they're at
Speaker 2: the lawyer's office, they're talking about it, and the Nevada
Speaker 2: lawyers like, yeah, we can get this done, like next week,
Speaker 2: we can adopt the kids next week, as long as
Speaker 2: we get all the paperwork and stuff, as.
Speaker 1: Long as you can serve Preston and as long as
Speaker 1: he agrees to relinquish his parental rights. The lawyer for
Speaker 1: the Browns said something about, well, if he doesn't appear, Yeah,
Speaker 1: if he doesn't answer, then the judge will determine that
Speaker 1: he's a negligent father. Yeah, but that's not the same
Speaker 1: thing as stripping his rights away.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I don't really know how it works, because
Speaker 2: they did bring up the negligence. They also brought up
Speaker 2: like if he's avoiding this, he will also be considered
Speaker 2: to abandon his kids. And so maybe there's some like
Speaker 2: legal way around this to say you abandoned your children,
Speaker 2: so we're going to take your rights away.
Speaker 1: And well, I'm certainly not a raccoon lawyer. I just
Speaker 1: think that it would be so much easier obviously if
Speaker 1: Preston would agree for sure, And so they are incentivizing
Speaker 1: him behind the scenes by again saying that they will
Speaker 1: forgive his interrears, child support yep, and any of the
Speaker 1: medical bills that he owes for again probably around dayton,
Speaker 1: et cetera. So depending on what Preston's financial situation is,
Speaker 1: that might be like a really big deal. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: we know that he ultimately agrees, and so that's how
Speaker 1: they get.
Speaker 2: Him, yeah, because right now they're saying he's avoiding calls,
Speaker 2: he's avoiding being served, but ultimately he ends up agreeing
Speaker 2: to it. And then Robin makes a comment on the
Speaker 2: couch saying, you know, I've been trying really hard to
Speaker 2: let Preston know that we're not trying to take his
Speaker 2: rights away and that we're not trying to take visitation
Speaker 2: from the kids. But I'm just like, Okay, what do
Speaker 2: you mean. I don't know. This whole thing is super
Speaker 2: messed up and very shady. And it goes back to
Speaker 2: what you were saying last week about maybe Robin's ulterior
Speaker 2: motive here is protecting her crown and protecting her empire
Speaker 2: and all of her finances and stuff and I'm just like, okay,
Speaker 2: but taking the rights away from the kids's biological father
Speaker 2: is the way you're going.
Speaker 1: To do it, all right, that's a nuclear option.
Speaker 2: And it's messed up because she's weaponizing the kids with
Speaker 2: like the family, and so of course all of the family,
Speaker 2: the Browns, they're like super supportive of the adoption and
Speaker 2: they're really excited about it. And ultimately when we get
Speaker 2: to the adoption episode, it's like a big fucking celebration
Speaker 2: and everybody goes to the courtroom to watch the adoption.
Speaker 2: So it's like a really big dill and it's unfortunate
Speaker 2: that it's being televised and it's being manipulated in this way.
Speaker 1: For ken use, imagine what Preston must have fought watching
Speaker 1: this back or just seeing how his kids are so happy, yeah,
Speaker 1: like jubil into the fact that Cody is adopting them,
Speaker 1: Like how crushing that would be if he has some
Speaker 1: semblance of love and like a sense of responsibility for
Speaker 1: his children, like that would be just absolutely devastating. But again,
Speaker 1: we don't know the quality and the character of Preston.
Speaker 1: He might have been an abuser. But like when you
Speaker 1: see the Robin that we know in twenty twenty six, Like,
Speaker 1: I just don't believe anything that she says about anything.
Speaker 2: Well, and if he is this abusive person, why are
Speaker 2: you trying to make it easy on him to get
Speaker 2: the adoption? And why are you trying to convince him, No,
Speaker 2: this doesn't affect your visitation, Like you can still visit
Speaker 2: the kids. We're just going to have all of the
Speaker 2: legal rights to them. Like why are you doing all
Speaker 2: of this and why are you making it such a
Speaker 2: big deal on TV to be like no, like we're
Speaker 2: being really nice. We want to make it good for
Speaker 2: him and want to make it easy and it's actually
Speaker 2: a really good thing for him, and blah blah blah,
Speaker 2: Like it doesn't make any sense to me. I just
Speaker 2: don't get it. And so after this whole adoption segment,
Speaker 2: then we get into the media of the episode where
Speaker 2: we have Christine and Cody leaving for Galveston. They are
Speaker 2: going for their twenty first anniversary, although Cody messes it
Speaker 2: up and thinks that it's their twenty second because he
Speaker 2: you know, he doesn't pay attention because he doesn't care
Speaker 2: or love Christine, So it's their anniversary. They're bringing their
Speaker 2: couples therapist Nancy or their family therapist Nancy, who's gonna
Speaker 2: help them with that. And they're also going to visit
Speaker 2: their ex therapist and also friend Pat who counseled them
Speaker 2: when they were in Utah. And Cody is basically in
Speaker 2: love with her. He says he's platonically in love with
Speaker 2: her because she has the gift of validation.
Speaker 1: Isn't that so telling? Yep, he loves her because she
Speaker 1: validated him and basically agreed with him and his positions
Speaker 1: during counseling.
Speaker 2: And I'm just like, why are we going to see
Speaker 2: her if you're going to bring your their therapist. They
Speaker 2: talk about how Pat was really good with validation, but
Speaker 2: Nancy is really good with accountability, Like someone, why are
Speaker 2: your bringing her?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It just seems like he doesn't want to be accountable
Speaker 2: for anything, of course not.
Speaker 1: But I also think this is absolutely done for content.
Speaker 1: I think this is manufactured. I think Christine is showing
Speaker 1: up in good faith, yeah, really wanting to work on
Speaker 1: her relationship. You can really see the cracks in this
Speaker 1: episode and in this season, and of course we've been
Speaker 1: seeing the cracks since season one. Like Christine has been
Speaker 1: unhappy for a while, but like you can really I
Speaker 1: get the feeling that she's desperate here to do something.
Speaker 1: And she lets it be known that there's been no
Speaker 1: intimacy with her and Cody, and I'm probably jumping ahead,
Speaker 1: and I'm sorry if I am, but like that's important
Speaker 1: for her, like uh huh. They are growing farther and
Speaker 1: farther apart and there's no intimacy. Would Cody tries to
Speaker 1: attach to trust, Yeah, the issue of trust, and he's saying, well,
Speaker 1: I don't trust you though, because you don't love Robin.
Speaker 1: Essentially you don't love the other sister wives, which means
Speaker 1: you don't support and kiss the ass of Robin. And
Speaker 1: because you don't that equals you don't support and love
Speaker 1: the family. And if you don't put the family first,
Speaker 1: I can't trust you. And if I can't trust you,
Speaker 1: I can't dick you down.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: And Christine here is just flailing trying to figure out, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: how can I reconnect and build that emotional connection, like
Speaker 1: how can I get the intimacy back? And this is
Speaker 1: where trust becomes kind of the hallmark of this entire episode,
Speaker 1: And it's really sad because she wants to fix it,
Speaker 1: and she's going to do whatever she can and Cody's
Speaker 1: just there to make content and grandstand. He there's nothing
Speaker 1: in Cody that screams he actually wants to build back
Speaker 1: trust or whatever, like he doesn't.
Speaker 2: Want to have sex with Christine anymore. Like that's just
Speaker 2: the point blank what it is. I mean, he's already
Speaker 2: said at this point that he's not attracted to her
Speaker 2: and that he was repulsed by her with the nachos
Speaker 2: and everything, and so it's like, you know, he's been
Speaker 2: done with her, and poor Christine really is there to
Speaker 2: try and save this. But she does say, like in
Speaker 2: one of her talking heads in this episode, like I'm
Speaker 2: at the point where every single day is hard, Like
Speaker 2: every day is a struggle. I am miserable, and you
Speaker 2: can see it. I Mean, I'm not trying to like
Speaker 2: dog on her appearance or anything, but she looks tired,
Speaker 2: she looks sad. She's not really taking care of herself,
Speaker 2: and it's because her marriage is fucking awful.
Speaker 1: And let's reconcile this with her book, because in her
Speaker 1: book she talks about a period of time and I
Speaker 1: want to say it's in the cul de Sac where
Speaker 1: she sustains some kind of an injury, right because she's
Speaker 1: on a fitness journey, she injures herself and she starts
Speaker 1: to take opiates. Yeah, she gets addicted to opiates, and
Speaker 1: she's also drinking, and at some point Maddie is the
Speaker 1: one who calls her out. So you saying that she
Speaker 1: looks tired, she looks strange, she looks a little bit different.
Speaker 1: I'm wondering if this is the timeline that Christine was
Speaker 1: talking about in her book. And by the way, on
Speaker 1: Patreon we dive into that whole book. I think we
Speaker 1: have very endure, separate episodes where we go through everything
Speaker 1: with a fine tooth calm, and we have a lot
Speaker 1: of fun. But it just made me feel really bad
Speaker 1: because Cody doesn't love her at all. Cody only loves Robin.
Speaker 1: He's not going to dick her down. He's not digging
Speaker 1: Mary down. Maybe he's giving Janelle the d but it's
Speaker 1: all about Robin.
Speaker 2: One percent, and it's so obvious, and like you know,
Speaker 2: we have these little couples therapy exercises throughout the episode.
Speaker 2: The first one that they do with Nancy is their
Speaker 2: drawing lines in the sand, and it's basically to be like,
Speaker 2: you know, what, what is your line in the sand
Speaker 2: in your marriage and your relationship? What do you guys want?
Speaker 2: And they talk about drawing lines in conviction versus drawing
Speaker 2: lines and anger, which kind of brings a light bulb
Speaker 2: moment for Aris Christine being like, oh, I didn't even
Speaker 2: think about that, because one of their lines of conviction
Speaker 2: is like jealousy. You know, she's talked about a lot
Speaker 2: being very jealous, being very insecure, especially when Robin came
Speaker 2: into the picture, but this is a tenet of their faith.
Speaker 1: She didn't actually say anything about Robin. And it was
Speaker 1: interesting to me because when she's talking about how she
Speaker 1: has been struggling so deeply with jealousy, first they show
Speaker 1: a picture of Mary and Cody. Yeah, Then they show
Speaker 1: a picture of Janelle and Cody, and then there's that
Speaker 1: professional picture of Cody and Robin, Like, can we just
Speaker 1: call it what it is? Like, she's jealous of Robin?
Speaker 1: Why is she jealous of Robin? Because Robin gets everything
Speaker 1: all of the time and all of Cody's attention. But
Speaker 1: she can't say it as plainly as that. Yep, And
Speaker 1: so we have to just deduce for ourselves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think at one point Christine does kind
Speaker 2: of talk about how it's hard to like watch everybody
Speaker 2: else have like a romantic relationship with Cody, her relationship
Speaker 2: is suffering, But we all know she's really talking about
Speaker 2: Robin because he's not really having any romantic relationships with
Speaker 2: anybody else at this point, and it's just sad. And
Speaker 2: so when they're drawing the lines in the sand, it
Speaker 2: was interesting because Cody draws a line and says, my
Speaker 2: line here is that I'm never going to leave you.
Speaker 2: I'm never gonna end this. And that's true. He wasn't
Speaker 2: planning on ending any of these marriages whatsoever, because he
Speaker 2: wanted to keep everybody on the books and with the
Speaker 2: finances and everything. He wanted to keep everybody on the
Speaker 2: hook while he just had his own relationship with Robin.
Speaker 1: Well, don't you think there was a larger plan to
Speaker 1: estrange himself from them, alienate himself from them so that
Speaker 1: they made the choice to leave him. It feels very
Speaker 1: orchestrated to me. So he's not the one asking for
Speaker 1: the divorce, and he can fall back and he can say, well,
Speaker 1: y'all left me, I didn't leave you. But really, behind
Speaker 1: the scenes, he was kind of puppet mastering it, or
Speaker 1: Robin was.
Speaker 2: I mean, I could see that for sure, because I
Speaker 2: can see him being the kind of guy that's like, well, yeah,
Speaker 2: I did everything, and you guys are the ones that
Speaker 2: left me. You're the one that gave up everything. But
Speaker 2: I don't know, judging from his reaction to Christine leaving
Speaker 2: him in season nineteen or whatever, it was like it
Speaker 2: felt like to me he really wasn't expecting them to leave.
Speaker 2: I feel like there was that ulterior motive on like
Speaker 2: Robin's part, like yeah, let's get all these bitches to
Speaker 2: break up with them or whatever. But I don't know.
Speaker 2: It was just interesting to watch him in this episode
Speaker 2: draw the line and be like, well, I'm never gonna
Speaker 2: leave you though, and Christine's like, well, I agree, like
Speaker 2: I want to leave you either, because ultimately they don't,
Speaker 2: they don't want to break up, but their relationship is
Speaker 2: trending towards that. And then we like have these scenes
Speaker 2: where we go back to the og Wives and we
Speaker 2: have Janelle at one point saying, you know, Cody doesn't
Speaker 2: like therapy because it just feels like everybody's got a
Speaker 2: laundry list against him. He's got a laundry list to
Speaker 2: get against all of the wives too, But it feels
Speaker 2: like way more when it's four against one versus one
Speaker 2: against four. And Robin of course has to chime in
Speaker 2: and be like, well, I feel for him.
Speaker 1: It's really hard for him.
Speaker 2: But you know, he chose this, so he's got to
Speaker 2: deal with it. So it's interesting that Robin makes that comment.
Speaker 2: And then you know, we have the little pirate exhibit,
Speaker 2: which is embarrassing.
Speaker 1: Cringe, Like, why are we going to a pirate exhibit?
Speaker 1: We should be going to Prague. Yeah, we should be
Speaker 1: going to the Caribbean. Yeah, to Saint Martin's or something.
Speaker 1: You're taking me to Galvinson, to a pirate's museum so
Speaker 1: that our tour guide simple can lead us around in
Speaker 1: our pirate costume.
Speaker 2: Like that's whack, dude. At least Mary got to go
Speaker 2: to fucking Mexico, like I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, well after she got her legal divorce, so she
Speaker 1: went to Rainforest Cafe. I guess it's par for the course.
Speaker 2: But you know, when they're at the Pirate ut, like
Speaker 2: Christine makes a comment about how they've always had fun
Speaker 2: together in their relationship, it's just, you know, hard to
Speaker 2: focus on the fun times when every other time is
Speaker 2: fucking awful and terrible. And you know, Cody makes fun
Speaker 2: of Christine a few times in this episode, but he
Speaker 2: talks about, you know, in the even in their fun times,
Speaker 2: Christine is always griping at him about their relationship and
Speaker 2: he makes fun of her for that, and Christine's just like, well, yeah.
Speaker 1: Because it's falling apart, because it sucks due cause I'm lonely, yep,
Speaker 1: because I want you sorry, I'm trying to bring it up.
Speaker 2: God sue me. And then they have a little porch
Speaker 2: therapy session with Nancy at their little BMB that they're at,
Speaker 2: and this is where things get a little bit serious,
Speaker 2: and this is where they talk about the intimacy, how
Speaker 2: there is no intimacy because Cody doesn't trust her, and
Speaker 2: Nancy's like, well, what does trust mean to you? He's like, well,
Speaker 2: I need her to love the whole family. And we
Speaker 2: hear from Christine on the couch saying, I don't know
Speaker 2: why he thinks I don't love the whole family, Like
Speaker 2: that doesn't make any sense to me. I do everything
Speaker 2: that I can, like all I care about is the family.
Speaker 2: But we learn that it's because at one point in
Speaker 2: Lehigh or whatever, they had a big fight and Christine
Speaker 2: had expressed something like I'm sick of the principle, or
Speaker 2: like I can't deal with polygamy because I'm jealous and
Speaker 2: I'm insecure and I'm upset about all of this shit.
Speaker 2: And Cody took that as I don't want to be
Speaker 2: a part of the family or I don't want to
Speaker 2: do plural marriage anymore, right, And he has held on
Speaker 2: to that and resented her for that this entire time.
Speaker 1: Which is so wild to me that you wouldn't make
Speaker 1: accommodations spiritually and in your relationships for the women who
Speaker 1: are bearing the brunt of polygamy. They're bearing the children,
Speaker 1: they're often employed, they're taking care of the kids, they
Speaker 1: are going without time with the husband, dealing with profound
Speaker 1: levels of jealousy. So like, the burden of the woman
Speaker 1: in polygamy is so incredible. Like the least a husband
Speaker 1: can do is allow them to vent, allow them to
Speaker 1: talk about it, reassure them love, give them more love,
Speaker 1: whatever you need to do. But like Cody's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't like to hear my wives complain about polygamy
Speaker 1: and their marriages. Yeah, I tune right out.
Speaker 2: It's so fucked up, man, Like, what do you do?
Speaker 2: Why are you in this situation?
Speaker 1: Then you say you love your wives, well, demonstrate.
Speaker 2: Love exactly, But he doesn't know how to because he
Speaker 2: doesn't love three out of four women. Like he could
Speaker 2: do that for Robin because he cares about her and
Speaker 2: he loves her or whatever. And you know, I'm even
Speaker 2: Cody a lot of grace because we know he's a
Speaker 2: narcissistic demon, but it's like he can hold space for Robin,
Speaker 2: but he can't do that for any of the other wives,
Speaker 2: And it's just sad and like poor Christine is just
Speaker 2: stuck in a corner, like what do you mean I
Speaker 2: do care about the fucking fol so?
Speaker 1: Well, what am I supposed to to do?
Speaker 2: Really though?
Speaker 1: Like just get happy with getting less exactly.
Speaker 2: And then they have another little like couple's therapy activity
Speaker 2: where they're on the beautiful beaches of Galveston, Texas, off
Speaker 2: the side of a road where they are going to
Speaker 2: stack rocks. They're going to do a rock tower, and
Speaker 2: I felt like this segment was actually very symbolic of
Speaker 2: their relationship at this point. It was actually very interesting,
Speaker 2: like Sedona, Actually totally. So the whole purpose of the
Speaker 2: activity is to stack rocks together that will somehow symbolize
Speaker 2: like their relationship, and so like, here's this rock of
Speaker 2: like love or this rock of trust or whatever. But
Speaker 2: it turns into them stacking a tower that symbolizes the family.
Speaker 2: So Cody wants to start off with the four quarners
Speaker 2: that will be the foundation, which is the family, and
Speaker 2: then we have to have twenty three rocks or whatever
Speaker 2: to symbolize all of the members of the family and
Speaker 2: all of the children. And Christine is like, but can
Speaker 2: we have it be like about our relationship though us?
Speaker 1: Can? I ask you? Was the task for them to
Speaker 1: build the cairn to represent their relationship? Yes, I thought
Speaker 1: that it was. It was okay, So he was going
Speaker 1: rogue for the family, for the family.
Speaker 2: Okay, because I don't think Cody has ever thought about
Speaker 2: him and Christine's actual relationship, no whatsoever. I think I
Speaker 2: think you've talked about it before on previous episodes, so
Speaker 2: forgive me if I'm repeating it. But like he looks
Speaker 2: at Christine as the foundation of the family. She was
Speaker 2: the one that mothered all of the kids, she homeschooled everybody.
Speaker 2: She was the basement wife, but she stayed at home
Speaker 2: and mothered everybody also worked exactly night yep, and Mary
Speaker 2: and Janelle were working too, but like Christine was really
Speaker 2: the main mom and like the main present mom there,
Speaker 2: because Janel was also busy, you know, popping out kids and.
Speaker 1: Also working and suiting her children exactly going to the movies.
Speaker 2: Except letting Christine mother her kids basically, And so that's
Speaker 2: how Cody views Christine. So he can't really lock into
Speaker 2: anything about their relationship because all their relationship is to
Speaker 2: him is stay at home and take care of the
Speaker 2: kids and be the mom. And it's actually really sad
Speaker 2: because Christine just wants him to express something about their relationship,
Speaker 2: show some kind of interest in just us, and Cody
Speaker 2: literally can't get there. And he even talks about it
Speaker 2: on the couch. He's like, I know Christine wanted us,
Speaker 2: wanted me to focus on us, but I wasn't gonna
Speaker 2: let her. I'm just going to focus on the family
Speaker 2: and the tenets of the family. And so ultimately, to
Speaker 2: avoid a fight and to avoid arguing with Cody, Christine
Speaker 2: just capitulates, Yep, goes limp and just lets him do
Speaker 2: whatever he wants, and to the camera, she says, I
Speaker 2: don't even want to talk about the rock activity. It
Speaker 2: was heartbreaking, it was frustrating. It was the worst part
Speaker 2: of the trip. While Cody is over there laughing and
Speaker 2: talking about it to the producers, like, yeah, I didn't
Speaker 2: let her choose what we were going to do for
Speaker 2: the activity. I just did it. And you know, when
Speaker 2: they're actually on the beach, I think Pat's there and
Speaker 2: Nancy's there.
Speaker 1: Nancy's there at the beach.
Speaker 2: I thought Pat was there too, but I guess it
Speaker 2: was just unters with Pat.
Speaker 1: On the final day, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: But he tells Christine like, yeah, I didn't let you
Speaker 2: do anything, right, And she's like, no, not really, was
Speaker 2: he too? BOSSI yeah you were okay ha, Well we
Speaker 2: built a tower though.
Speaker 1: And where are you, Nancy? Why aren't you saying anything
Speaker 1: while this is happening. She's a horrible there. Why aren't
Speaker 1: you stopping him? Because he's not actually doing the task,
Speaker 1: He's doing his own thing, Like shouldn't you be in
Speaker 1: there kind of coaching? But she did not. She just
Speaker 1: watched and observed.
Speaker 2: And she didn't say anything after the fact either. She
Speaker 2: just just like how did you feel about it? And
Speaker 2: of course, like Christine kind of lies at the moment
Speaker 2: and she's like, well, it was fine whatever, and Coddy's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think we built a good tower. It represents the
Speaker 2: It's great because you know, it's not just about me
Speaker 2: and Christine, it's about the whole family, and we just
Speaker 2: don't talk anything else anywhere else about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was really wondering about this because we
Speaker 1: could look at that and determine, oh, it's just Cody
Speaker 1: being Cody, like Cody's oblivious, it's all about Cody. Or
Speaker 1: this could have been a very intentional act by Cody
Speaker 1: to communicate to Christine exactly how he views her, which
Speaker 1: you just kind of put into context. You're the mother,
Speaker 1: You're the cornerstone. I need you to support the family.
Speaker 1: That's the role I'm putting you in. That's how you're
Speaker 1: valuable to me. He knew what Christine wanted to do
Speaker 1: throughout the entire exercise. She was asking, she was attempting
Speaker 1: to contribute, and he just kept railroading her because I
Speaker 1: think he wanted her to see how he actually views her,
Speaker 1: so that later that night, when she wants to get
Speaker 1: intimate with him because this is their anniversary trip to Hey, Alveston.
Speaker 1: I'm sure she's hope they'll bang or something and try
Speaker 1: to reconnect. He's trying to show her in this moment
Speaker 1: like that, actually, this is how we see you, though
Speaker 1: I don't see you as a sexy mama that I
Speaker 1: want to take to bed tonight. So get that through
Speaker 1: your thick skull, Christine. That's kind of what I walked
Speaker 1: away from that feeling like it was eentional.
Speaker 2: I could see that, because I mean, it was very blatant,
Speaker 2: like he was just totally ignoring the purpose of the
Speaker 2: exercise to focus on their relationship, to be like, no,
Speaker 2: it's all about the family. I could see that as
Speaker 2: being like an intentional thing on his part. It's just
Speaker 2: sad that Christine can't see it at this point. And
Speaker 2: it's sad because Christine wants more, and I think she's
Speaker 2: been trying to express that she wants more, but Cody
Speaker 2: just doesn't give a shit.
Speaker 1: What do you mean when you say it's sad that
Speaker 1: Christine can't see.
Speaker 2: It, Like, it's sad that she can't see that this
Speaker 2: is how Cody sees her.
Speaker 1: I think she can see it. I don't think she.
Speaker 1: I think in this moment she can, and I think
Speaker 1: there are a lot of women out there who have
Speaker 1: been in relationships and it's kind of this critical moment
Speaker 1: where you're asking yourself, Okay, it's now up to me.
Speaker 1: It's a choice I'm going to have to make. Is
Speaker 1: this good enough for me? Am I willing to live
Speaker 1: the rest of my life with this guy getting this
Speaker 1: much from him? Can I be happy? Can I do that?
Speaker 1: Or am I going to have to make a different
Speaker 1: decision for myself? And a lot of women they stay,
Speaker 1: they continue to try and work it out, which we
Speaker 1: know that Christine does, but then at some point we
Speaker 1: women will hit a wall and will be like that's it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm going and you cannot stop me. So to me,
Speaker 1: when I'm looking at Christine, I feel like she's in
Speaker 1: that little space where she's like, Okay, So he's telling
Speaker 1: me how he sees me. He's showing me who he is.
Speaker 1: Is that going to be enough? Can I accept that
Speaker 1: and be happy? Because she told us in this episode,
Speaker 1: like you said, every day is hard, Yeah, every day
Speaker 1: is abysmal. I'm depressed, Like what if I accepted this
Speaker 1: what he's telling me that we can have Can I
Speaker 1: be happy? I feel like that's where she is in
Speaker 1: this moment.
Speaker 2: Maybe you're right, because in the next segment, they go
Speaker 2: to a romantic dinner at Sharon's or whatever, this fancy
Speaker 2: restaurant Booty is Hella Booty Booty, and she's excited because
Speaker 2: she's like, she never gets to have dates like this
Speaker 2: at all in general, and she never gets to have
Speaker 2: like a fancy dinner date regardless. So she tells him
Speaker 2: at the dinner, you know, I think the whole purpose
Speaker 2: of this trip was for me to understand you better.
Speaker 2: And she does bring up the rocks, so maybe that
Speaker 2: is her way of saying, oh, I see how you
Speaker 2: see me. Now I understand it, but I don't know
Speaker 2: the way that I took it was like she was
Speaker 2: just capitulating to him and being like, yeah, I know,
Speaker 2: like I got you, I see you, Cody, listen to you,
Speaker 2: but like he's not saying the same thing.
Speaker 1: To her, and she asks him, I think in this
Speaker 1: conversation when they're at dinner, can you trust me?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: All I want is for you to trust me, which
Speaker 1: again is the gateway to intimacy, h which is the
Speaker 1: gateway to saving their marriage. I please trust me, and
Speaker 1: Cord He's like, yeah, yeah, I can trust you. He
Speaker 1: doesn't trust her.
Speaker 2: Do you think they banged it all in the strip?
Speaker 1: I wondered about that, Yeah, who it would be hard
Speaker 1: for him to turn her away, Yeah, because he's got
Speaker 1: to know that's her expectation, of course. But I also
Speaker 1: can't see him given her the d.
Speaker 2: I feel like if they did, it was only once
Speaker 2: and it was bad. That's what I think.
Speaker 1: Well, and I was thinking, like, truly, is what three
Speaker 1: years old? Four years old here? So it wasn't that
Speaker 1: long ago, No, that they were banging. They were having babies.
Speaker 1: In just the short amount of time that Robin has
Speaker 1: been in this family, he has completely shunned Christine.
Speaker 2: One sad and like Christine really is, to her credit,
Speaker 2: trying to be a good wife and like trying to
Speaker 2: be like understanding and trying to take ownership for the
Speaker 2: fact that she's been jealous and she's been angry or whatever.
Speaker 2: She even has a segment where she talks about Cody
Speaker 2: and Gwen's relationship and she tries to relate it to
Speaker 2: her and Cody, where I guess Cody and Gwen had
Speaker 2: some issues, like different conflicting personalities where Gwen was just
Speaker 2: like a bit too much and Cody was like annoyed
Speaker 2: with her or whatever. But then he learned to adjust
Speaker 2: with her and learned to like be the dad that
Speaker 2: she needed him to be. And so now they have
Speaker 2: this really sweet relationship. And then Christine looks at that
Speaker 2: and is like, now I can see that that's what
Speaker 2: Cody is trying to do with me. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: is he though, because he's not really giving you what
Speaker 2: you want, and how is he adjusting to you?
Speaker 1: Well, maybe what she's saying is now I see that
Speaker 1: the way to get Cody to love me is if
Speaker 1: I adjust, maybe I shift and change. Then yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: he'll want to be closer to me.
Speaker 2: God, I wish I could shake past Christine like no,
Speaker 2: but you know, well it is a process, a process,
Speaker 2: and what she leaves him like only a few more.
Speaker 1: Years later, within five right, So this is twenty fourteen,
Speaker 1: So twenty twenty was six.
Speaker 2: Years seventy Yeah, so six seven And so the last
Speaker 2: portion of the episode is when Cody and Christine meet
Speaker 2: up with their friend Pat, the lesbian therapist, and Pat
Speaker 2: asks them what they've learned on the trip and Cody says,
Speaker 2: you know, when it's cloudy and rady, I just got
Speaker 2: to like let my wives be blue. And that's hard
Speaker 2: for me when they're blue, because I really feel bad
Speaker 2: when they're blue.
Speaker 1: So simplistic and stupid.
Speaker 2: It's so dumb, and it's performative too, Yeah, because he
Speaker 2: doesn't actually give a shit when they're sad or they're upset.
Speaker 2: He just avoids them and goes and hangs out at
Speaker 2: Robin's house. And Cody says on the couch, you know,
Speaker 2: he's always been afraid to acknowledge his wives sorrow and
Speaker 2: they're jealousy and they're bad emotions because he doesn't want
Speaker 2: to deal with it. But now he's learning through this
Speaker 2: trip that he should just be there.
Speaker 1: Now you're learning this is your twenty first anniversary. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you've been married to Mary and Janelle longer than that,
Speaker 1: and now you're learning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just now, okay, just now. He's learning that he
Speaker 2: can't be offended when they bring up their issues. He
Speaker 2: just needs to hold space and be there and validate them.
Speaker 2: But I'm like, that's a crock of shit because we
Speaker 2: know you're not doing that.
Speaker 1: No, you're not going to do that at all. So
Speaker 1: you're a bad polygamist husband because you're just expecting your
Speaker 1: wives to self regulate and take care of it, and
Speaker 1: if they don't, you're going to resent them, yep, and
Speaker 1: hold it against them.
Speaker 2: And like, while they're having this conversation with Pat, Cody
Speaker 2: brings up Mary at one point and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, through the entirety of my marriage with Mary,
Speaker 2: all I did was argue with her every time she
Speaker 2: had issues. And now I'm realizing through couple's therapy with
Speaker 2: Christine that I actually should have held space for Mary,
Speaker 2: and I guess I can hold space for Christine. And
Speaker 2: I'm like, dude, why are we talking about other wives again? Too?
Speaker 2: And it just goes back to what I was saying earlier,
Speaker 2: like Cody doesn't see Christine as his wife really, as
Speaker 2: or as a role yep, exactly, something to fulfill for him.
Speaker 2: And you know, then we kind of just end the episode,
Speaker 2: and you know, Christine's like bittersweet about it because she's like,
Speaker 2: I don't know how to hold on to this like
Speaker 2: good like energy that we have from this weekend, And
Speaker 2: I'm like, is there any good energy?
Speaker 1: She's awful weekend?
Speaker 2: She brings up like magic. At one point she's like,
Speaker 2: it's such a magical time and I was really at
Speaker 2: the pirate Museum maybe, but like she doesn't know how
Speaker 2: to hold on to that when they go back to
Speaker 2: their everyday lives, because you know, we're just the two
Speaker 2: of us here, plus are two therapists and the camera crew.
Speaker 2: We're just the two of us here on this trip.
Speaker 2: But then we go back and we have all these
Speaker 2: kids and he has all these wives, Like, I don't
Speaker 2: know how to hold on to that, and I'm like, girl,
Speaker 2: you're not gonna be able to And so the end
Speaker 2: their trip in Galveston both protec like it was a
Speaker 2: good time.
Speaker 1: Right, and it's pretty sad it is.
Speaker 2: Then we get to the preview for the next couple episodes.
Speaker 2: We have Robin telling Cody that Preston is ultimately going
Speaker 2: to sign their adoption paperwork and everything's gonna work out.
Speaker 2: They're gonna be able to adopt their kids. We have
Speaker 2: this like stupid Las Vegas pirate boat race competition that
Speaker 2: the family is going to enroll in, and I actually
Speaker 2: remember these episodes because they get kind of tense where
Speaker 2: the family is like building this like stupid paper mache
Speaker 2: boat for this race, and we see this in the preview.
Speaker 2: Cody and Christine are arguing like crazy, just yelling at
Speaker 2: each other the entire time, and it's in front of
Speaker 2: like the other wives and the family, and Janelle's like,
Speaker 2: this is awkward. Af things are getting pretty intense and
Speaker 2: Cody and Christine are yelling at each other. Christine says,
Speaker 2: I've been getting yelled at for forty straight. I'm over this,
Speaker 2: and then Robin pipes up and is like, can y'all
Speaker 2: just stop? And I don't know if she was saying
Speaker 2: that and to Cody or to Christine or to the
Speaker 2: both of them, I don't know, but that's it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it felt to me in that moment like it
Speaker 1: was Cody. But we'll watch them. We'll see, because I
Speaker 1: don't remember that episode at all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and let's talk about the next couple episodes, because
Speaker 2: there's some that are like about the wives. So like,
Speaker 2: the next episode after this one is all about Christine, okay,
Speaker 2: and it's like going over their relationship, and then again
Speaker 2: a regular episode, and then it's all about Janelle and
Speaker 2: then a regular episode. So I'm like, can we skip
Speaker 2: the couple ones? Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay, good because that gets us closer to the cap fits. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: I think episode ten or eleven or twelve.
Speaker 2: Cool.
Speaker 1: So yeah, because it's going to just be their dumb
Speaker 1: wedding pictures it totally and their dating journeys. We already
Speaker 1: know all about that and it's boring.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, we get it, Christine and you are miserable.
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean, unless we're missing something. I know a
Speaker 1: lot of you out there have watched those episodes about
Speaker 1: Christine about Janelle, Like are they good? Is it worth
Speaker 1: a watch? Because if not, we're just gonna skip it.
Speaker 1: We should skip and stay with the timeline. Okay, you're
Speaker 1: just making it an executive decision.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna railroad you like Cody, this is your project,
Speaker 2: then it is, this is your care God, just put
Speaker 2: the heart on top of it.
Speaker 1: Let's be done. Yeah, yikes.
Speaker 2: Maybe we should build a rock tower. Want to symbolize
Speaker 2: our podcast?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, it's just gonna be a dumpster filled
Speaker 1: with rocks. Yeah. Oh god, Well, is there anything else
Speaker 1: that we need to say to these beautiful raccoons before
Speaker 1: we get up on out of here?
Speaker 2: Badchaz? Well, if you love our podcast, please do us
Speaker 2: a favor. Go to your favorite podcast platform and leave
Speaker 2: us a glowing five star review. It costs you nothing
Speaker 2: and it really helps us grow the pod and we
Speaker 2: would really appreciate it, so thank you very much.
Speaker 1: We will be back in just a couple of days
Speaker 1: to talk. Welcome to Platfill. Yeah it's a little boring.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's a little strange, but we've got that converse
Speaker 1: with Kim and Lydia girl. Lots going on, so we'll
Speaker 1: be back for that. Until then, please not forget that
Speaker 1: we have nothing but love for you and peace and
Speaker 1: mighty