Speaker 1: All start to you to presents. Off the bench with
Jacob Hester and T Bob Abert.
Speaker 2: Yea yeah, yea, yea yea off the bench.
Speaker 1: With Jacob Hester and Bob Aber.
Speaker 3: I got to come off the bitch.
Speaker 1: Now here's Jacob Hester and T Bob Abert.
Speaker 3: Y'all welcome in now number three of O T B.
T Bob A Landro Vireal and we got rips Huian Studio.
We got Jake join us remotely after his hellish escape
from Atlanta. You can call him Jake Pliskin because he
managed to find a way back. You like that. Jake
figured figured you what you French?
Speaker 4: You knew that, you knew what that was going to do.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: I wasn't when I started the show, but rivers somehow more.
Every day I get more and more French. I am
officially French. I converted if you will.
Speaker 5: Oh, okay, you converted.
Speaker 3: French accent checked out. French accent is one of the
most fun two exaggerates of all accidents, because you could
sound more and more absurd.
Speaker 6: Didn't We get in a fight one time about who
was actually more French, and we ended up doing like
a I think I did like.
Speaker 3: A twenty You ended up doing the twenty three and me,
I have no idea. Apparently my old man did one
of those and he had a lot of Oh man,
he told me the other day. I think it was
something Scandinavian, which maybe makes sense of my pale.
Speaker 6: Skin, and I think mine just came back to my
normal size. There was obviously some French in there. I mean,
my maiden name is rest, so I mean like there's
I mean, I definitely know that there is French stuff.
Speaker 3: Going on, so that's pretty German.
Speaker 6: But what I was gonna say is, actually I think
the biggest portion of it was like Eastern European.
Speaker 3: I always thought you were a criminal, so that makes
sense European.
Speaker 6: I do know that some of some of my peoples
came over on the Mayflower.
Speaker 5: No, we have like actual documentation.
Speaker 3: I mean, so you're you're claiming Mayflower lineage.
Speaker 5: They were servants. We were not the we were not
the important ones.
Speaker 3: Everybody coming over were serving, so right when that's the
whole point. They were all being like kicked out of
England or searching for a new church.
Speaker 5: There's probably a hierarchy on that ship.
Speaker 3: No, No, there's definitely a hierarchy, but it was still a
people without a lamb. But I mean being able to
trace directly back to the mayflowers pretty pretty strong. I know.
We come from two brothers, Antoine and a Beer who
just came over to Nova Scotia at some point. And
then there's dirty, rotten bastards. The English forced them down
here to this hellish swamp. But being such a tough people,
we have established ourselves and now Abert is the single
most populous last name in Louisiana. How about that?
Speaker 5: That doesn't I mean, yes, that checks out.
Speaker 3: Uh. Teap Hous's rest sounds Italian, sounds German to me.
Speaker 5: I don't think it sounds Germany.
Speaker 3: It sounds very Hota.
Speaker 7: It hurts too bad if you put vaughn in front
of a last name and say it and it sounds
more German.
Speaker 4: Hello, I'm.
Speaker 8: A blonde hair and blue eyes.
Speaker 9: Really look uh, I'm a natural natural birthday I'm We'll
give you that one.
Speaker 2: That's where my great grandfather came from.
Speaker 3: You look pale enough to be which is which is.
Speaker 2: Close enough to German?
Speaker 4: Right? I mean I have no idea, Taylor, There's nothing
else you could tell.
Speaker 3: Truly, we don't all know where my dad got obsessed
with genealogy, Okay, when he retired.
Speaker 6: Old people cared about that stuff, Like my my great grandmother,
Like that's why I know about the Mayflower thing she had.
Like it's like the stack of sacks of papers, like
somebody had done it, like, but it was very important
to them to just keep passing it down and sadly, like,
I don't think that exists anywhere right now other than
those like stacks of papers that are probably just like
shoved in some desk in my parents house, Like we
should probably you know, put that somewhere, but you know,
people cared more about that then.
Speaker 3: I think. I think I think we'll probably care more
as we get older. I mean I think I think
as you can't have as.
Speaker 6: Much access to it, I feel like, which is kind
of weird because we have so much access to so
much information, but like, because we didn't take care of
all the other like the paper versions of it, it's
gonna get lost.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I just don't want the Mormons to have my DNA.
Speaker 3: So do they run twenty three in me?
Speaker 9: That's what they say, that's what there is. Yeah, they
three in me.
Speaker 3: That's that's a little.
Speaker 8: I don't know too much about it, so I can't.
Speaker 3: Go that's a little interesting me given that I don't
even know three of me. Seems very kind of uh scientific.
And the Mormons believe that Native American skin was brown
because they rejected the teachers of Jesus. So that's I mean,
it seems like.
Speaker 5: It seems like those science I think those might.
Speaker 3: Be at odds with one another by don who knows.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: That's the funniest part though about the social stratification of
RASO is you do those DNA tests and what you
quickly realize is everybody's just a muddle mix of everything everything.
So this idea of black white whatever, it doesn't make
any sense, like scientifically, it doesn't hold up, uh any.
It's actually something that book James the Huckleberry Finn kind
of kind of plays.
Speaker 5: Wonder how long it would take a little a.
Speaker 3: Little bit with is that same idea where it's like
you could look white, but if you have one parent
who's a slave, Okay, it's just all it's all really dumb,
and we're still in that same mindset. We haven't evolved
out of it, despite all of this scientific evidence that
we have now if you're white, you've been a flack.
These role Models very I mean, what a crew. That
Role Models movie was underrated movie. He doesn't get talked
about a ton anymore. I don't know what happened to
that little kid. He was. He was on a fantastic
run there for a minute. It was mclovin, uh coming
off with a super bad success. It was. It was
kind of one of those do you see that in comedy?
I feel like more often than most movies, where you'll
get a cast that's very of the time, that comes
together and make something really good for the time, but
maybe doesn't stand the test of time necessarily.
Speaker 4: Well, said Bob, look at you.
Speaker 3: The Mormons haven't established legit monopoly on all things genealogy.
Is this true?
Speaker 9: So I actually just kind of looked it up a
little bit. Mormon did start twenty three in me there
you go?
Speaker 5: But you ever has anyone ever read the book The One? Anybody?
It came out a couple of years ago.
Speaker 6: But Joseph Smith, So basically it was like it's like
a future time where you know, the government has all
of our DNA and all the stuff or whatever, and
what they do is you can you can submit and
you can say, hey, I want to know. They will
tell you who your perfect DNA human matches. You can
either know it or not know it. And then but
it's like it's like that struggle of once you do
know who your actual perfect DNA wise like matches, do
you end up with that person or do you end
up with maybe you're already married, like maybe you're already.
Speaker 8: Actually kind of crazy, so do you want to know?
Speaker 3: Well, here here's the deal. This gets into. This gets
into a deeper philosophical debate about nature.
Speaker 5: Sometimes they're already dead. You find out and that person's already.
Speaker 9: Just like didn't they do like a black Mirror episode
like this?
Speaker 3: I think there is something I just I'm a big, big, big,
big big believer that nurture vastly outweighs nature in terms
of like, you can be very naturally smart, but if
you're not giving access to education.
Speaker 6: But I'm to do with that. They had reasoning why
they were you're perfect. It wasn't just like DNA.
Speaker 3: It gets into like determination theory where.
Speaker 5: It's like they tell you that that's your person. Is
it your person?
Speaker 3: It's it's always there's there's there's the idea that like,
because of how you're born and everything else, and I
guess it's exactly all the nature nurtsure wrapped up together.
You were always going to make the decisions that you make.
Because I don't know, I I so I I prickle
a little bit of the idea that you would look
at DNA and.
Speaker 5: Would you do it? Would you find out?
Speaker 3: No? No, because you're you're you're a Are you not
sacrificing a hefty portion of your free will at that point?
Speaker 8: I'm just asking, I guess that's a good point.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but like would you always wonder you know, but.
Speaker 8: You still have the free will to choose?
Speaker 3: Or in the book universe, is it proven? Like is
it generally accepted though that it is correct? Okay, because
that would be the biggest hurdle to overcome.
Speaker 6: Well, so that's another part of the book is like
so some people find out, right, so they start spending
time with their person and they're like, oh, we do match.
But is it because they want to match because they
think that they match the seeds?
Speaker 5: I don't know, that's the whole thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the seed's been planned. It's like, uh, I think there.
Speaker 6: Was also some sketchy DNA stuff going on too in
the background, Like it wasn't just about that.
Speaker 3: Your actions can make it real. It's like the idea
if I burn you at the steak because I think
you're a witch. I mean, you might not have actually
been a witch, but kind of functionally what you were,
because you suffered anyway because of it. So my belief
in you being a witch gave it a bit of
reality because you ended up dying because of it. So
in that same way, if you believe that it's real
and then you act on it, you kind of make
your real.
Speaker 5: I don't know, are you going to find out?
Speaker 8: Would you?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Went up?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like it doesn't look I mean, the thing
is like anytime you're asking you something, pretty much down
for anything, like I'll do it. It's fine. He got
six inches, I mean pretty much.
Speaker 3: Uh good, Come hang out with me then super Bowl
week and we'll we'll put that to the test, see
how see how down you are.
Speaker 9: It'd be that something like that would be very useful
for me right now, But I don't think I would
do it because it's kind of like playing god a
little bit.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I thought that in that part of the yeah.
Speaker 3: It feels like you're losing a bit of agency.
Speaker 5: Certainly, Hey, Shane Biemer got extended.
Speaker 3: Oh really, right, now, what's the what's the details on
the contract?
Speaker 4: We go shame.
Speaker 6: Let's see the extension run through twenty thirty and increases
his salary to more than eight million annually.
Speaker 3: It's so crazy because Jake was he on the hot
seat going in last year.
Speaker 7: It wasn't boiling, but you hit the pilot. The pilot
was lit a little bit. I mean he had to
do something like he had a little bit of extra leeway,
but he had to go do something that was out
of the ordinary for South Carolina, I think, to be
able to survive, to have momentum, and like you talk
to people around South Carolina, it's like, I mean, we
love Shane, we love him, but he needs to be
consistent and so like this is the beginning of it.
And you can go back a couple of years Spencer
Ratler that run they went on where they beat Clemson,
they beat Tennessee, Like so you know it's there.
Speaker 4: So it's wild because you know it's there, you know
it can be done.
Speaker 7: But it's like, okay, hey, we need you to do
that like more times than not, and that's kind of
what they were looking for, and so it makes Look,
it makes all the sense in the world. Like everybody
loves Shane Beemer. I think he's a good football coach.
Is you're ceiling a national championship?
Speaker 4: Probably not.
Speaker 7: But if you can get to where you got this
year three out of five five years, I think they'd
be happy as hell.
Speaker 3: Did you go ahead?
Speaker 5: Well, I thought this is cool.
Speaker 6: The current contract will see the current contract will increase
a salary to base of eight point one five million
per year and will increase by one hundred thousand every
year through twenty thirty. But it said Beamer made sure
to finalize the contracts of all of his assistants prior
to the Bowl game before he finalized his own deal,
which I think is cool.
Speaker 3: Uh. Did you'all see the ESPN way too early top
twenty five for next season? Yeah? Uh? Maybe just say no. Yeah,
I saw you.
Speaker 1: Say.
Speaker 3: They're both your head I know, but shut up. Everybody
doesn't listening to everything show No.
Speaker 4: Not, I haven't seen anything.
Speaker 3: Yes, because you've been stuck in the fifth circle of hell.
H Atlanta ts A.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so they got Ohio State one a launder, your
Longhorns coming into two shut out, I.
Speaker 8: Think we need to stop doing that.
Speaker 4: What they're not like?
Speaker 9: They are you can be, but I wouldn't say that
they're like my number one team.
Speaker 3: No, ill, let's use your number one, yeah, two teams.
But who is your main team outside of LSU.
Speaker 8: I guess it would be.
Speaker 5: Texas and nobody second team. That doesn't mean that they're
my team.
Speaker 2: You're the Texas representative on the show.
Speaker 3: She cheers, she is the text represented, but also she
cheers for the Texas for the text was out. Yeah yeah,
yeah exactly. So your Longhorns number two, uh, Penn State
checking in at three, Notre Dame four, Georgia five, Oregon six,
very interestingly, Clemson, and LSU seven and eight. But why
I bring this up is because look at number ten
b YU nine, speaking of Mormons, but look at number
ten South Carolina. So I find that to be a
bit interesting considering all of the losses, I mean, losing
Kyle Kernard, losing Deebo Williams, losing multiple offensive lineman, Rocket Sanders,
gone Jake. Is that too much for South Carolina next season?
Speaker 7: They do have a lot coming back as well, and
you're wondering can South Carolina absorb like losing guys like
that like some of the other major programs, because typically
if they lost that much, they wouldn't be anywhere close
to the top ten.
Speaker 4: But I think Leonora Sellers kind of changes the math.
Speaker 7: There's a lot of people t that are incredibly high
on him, like top five in the country high on him,
and so their thought process is, Okay, go get some people,
place them around him. You've got the hardest part figured out,
which is going to be the quarterback position. And he
continued to get better game in and game out, Like
if he stays healthy during the LSU game, we've talked
about it, I don't know how that game goes.
Speaker 4: And so he's a game changer, and I think for
that reason.
Speaker 7: Along with the momentum they had this year, I'm not
shocked that they're in the top ten. In the preseason,
I would probably have them closer to fifteen. But when
you have the guy at quarterback, and that's why a
lot of us are excited about LSU and how your Nurmaier,
You're going to have a chance to be what we
think you can be.
Speaker 3: So speaking of quarterback, did y'all see on three's top
ten impact quarterbacks for twenty twenty five?
Speaker 5: Actually did not see that.
Speaker 3: Did not see this, y'all? Did it? Okay? Number one
on this list Jake your guy, Sammy Levitt. Oh hey,
Sam Levitt as the number one impact quarterback for twenty
twenty five. Granted, look, probably a bit of this is
engagement farming, without a doubt, but it goes Levett one,
Dollar two, Lagway three, Arch four, Sellers five, Nus six,
Carson Beck seven, k Club Nick eight. So again, LSU
and Clemson rearing their heads in terms of the top ten.
John Matteer, the Washington State transfer in Oklahoma at nine,
and then Nico Iamaliava at number ten. What's going on
here with Levitt at number one?
Speaker 7: Look, you go back and you watch like the totality
of the season, for sure, but you go back and
watch the Texas game. There was so many big moments
t that. Yeah, against one of the best defenses in
the country. He just made a play on his own
third eleven and he finds a way to scramble for
twelve yards right outside out of the one throw there
to end the game.
Speaker 4: He made great decisions all night long. I don't think
a lot of.
Speaker 7: People if you weren't watching the Big twelve all season,
just realize how athletics Sam Levitt really was. And if
you compare that with you know, a couple of receivers
that they've got coming in and look Kenny Dillingham, look.
Speaker 4: At his quarterback track record.
Speaker 7: It's incredible of the guys that he's had as a
quarterbacks coach, an offensive coordinator, yeah, and now a head coach.
Speaker 4: And so that probably goes into it as well.
Speaker 7: Now you don't have Cam Skataboo, that's going to be
a challenge for you.
Speaker 4: He's kind of your guy that when.
Speaker 7: Times got tough, you found a way to get him
the football. But I understand sam Levitt being in the
top five. I wouldn't have him at one. But he
is the real deal and he is somebody that is
going to continue to thrive. And we're still talking about
a young football player as far as amount of starts
that he has in college football. So it makes a
lot of sense for him to be in the top five. Again,
probably wouldn't have him at one, Like mateir I'm surprised
is all the way down to nine.
Speaker 4: That's somebody that we could certainly get into.
Speaker 3: I think that's more of an Oklahoma critique than anything else.
Speaker 4: Right, that's probably fair.
Speaker 7: Uh yeah, he's got his oc though, coming over from Wazoo, Yeah,
where he had an incredible year and so there.
Speaker 3: But they lose Nick Anderson, I mean did they lose
They lose bow or Sharp like Oklahoma lose everything. Previtable
has done nothing to create any belief there. Like Matier
could be fine, but I don't know as far as
Deasek goes. They do have one thing. They have a billionaire.
Remember we broke down that sportical list a few weeks
so have the billionaires in college football? Their billionaire is
Ira Fulton.
Speaker 4: What a name?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Networth not known. He's a founder of Fulton Home.
It's like a residential housing developer. But even though he's
not reported as a billionaire, by two thousand and five,
he had already given away two hundred and sixty five
million dollars to charity. That has only increased. Arizona State
has received one hundred and sixty million.
Speaker 5: Dollars given away that kind of money and less one hundred.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly right. He's given Arizona State one hundred and
sixty million dollars and now his disclosed sport's been academics.
But you gotta imagine that's going to bleed over, because look,
how do you create investment in college football. You have
the coach and you have the quarterback. If you have
those two elements, you can incentivize giving from your big
money people. And that's what Arizona feels like they have
right now with a young Sam Levitt and a young
Kenney Dillingham. Also, for what it's worth, Ira must be Mormon.
Speaker 5: Well I was thinking it. Ryan Smith had it right
in the chat. Sounds like a vampire.
Speaker 3: Well, he might be because he's also given seventy million
dollars to BYU, so he has some sort of U. Easy.
He must be a part of the cult somewhere.
Speaker 6: Do you think that Mormons are tired tied to vampires?
Speaker 3: That's why they're so obsessed with genealogy?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Are they want to keep historical right word, figure it out.
They've been alive the entire time. I actually played football
with Andrew Hatch and he told me in confidence one
day that he was one hundred eighty two years old.
It was wild.
Speaker 2: Well, that's that's how they all have so much money
they build it over building. He's accumulated so much wealth.
Speaker 3: He actually fought for the Union.
Speaker 4: Andrew Hatch was that old.
Speaker 7: You would think being that old, he'd know how to
read quarter quarter has but he never found that skill.
Speaker 3: Well, okay, jokes on you, because when he was born
football didn't even exist. Give my guy a break, dude.
He came to it late.
Speaker 6: I mean.
Speaker 3: Years, he had one hundred years though, yeah, I mean
you know, but he was doing other things fighting for
the Union. Uh, he was heavily involved in the production
of the original model t uh in A very interesting life,
very interesting. So yes, what we've learned this segment is
Sam Levitt's pretty good, Arizona State's pretty good and the
way you were vampires. When we get back more cha bags,
keep a locked here and no TB off the bench.
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Speaker 1: Welcome back to the ninth ranked morning sports show in America.
Speaker 3: Off the Bench, u elandra very good research by you
on our Mormon vampire conspiracy here.
Speaker 8: Do you want me to say what it was?
Speaker 9: Yes, So it's very possible that Mormons are vampires. They
don't have crosses in their church. So google and then
if you know vampires, you know that they don't like
wooden crosses.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they have a weakness of crosses. Also, a quick
Google search says no, Mormon churches do not have crosses
inside or outside. Mormons believe that the cross symbolize the death.
They focus on the living Christ instead, and of course
hate more than anything exactly, vampires hate death. That's the
entire point, right. They are trying to squeeze every bit
of sentience in life that they can out of this thing.
Speaker 8: And that's why they keep getting your DNA.
Speaker 3: Yep. Wow. First actually probably they probably just drink all
that bloody and then they send like the results back. Well,
they're just sending BS results.
Speaker 2: You know who else is a b YU graduate Taysom Hill.
How do we think he learned how to play all
these positions? Uh, that's true and even news he's a vampire.
Saints got him for another fifteen to twenty years minimum.
Speaker 5: He's good to go to minimum.
Speaker 6: I'm just saying, I think that's a really good You
did some real work there in the last like three
minutes reallypiate.
Speaker 3: Dots here, guys. Some major strides being made in today's
champ Shine.
Speaker 9: He Bob gave me a task and you really read
it knocked it out the party.
Speaker 7: I think Hill gets hurt so many times because he's
trying to fool us into thinking he's not absolutely yeah.
Speaker 9: Well it's a fake being human if it could be
multiple around.
Speaker 2: When Taysom bounces back, he's good to go too. So
it's like he gets hurt a lot, but like it
hasn't really kept him down either. So yeah, there'sn't been
in a.
Speaker 3: Lot of vampire subreddits lately as well. And in order
to stay as one normally would, they tried to move
to drinking more animal blood. Restorative properties of animal blood
are not near that of human blood. So somebody may
need to murder a couple of people for taste some
Hill to make sure that he's good to go for next.
I don't think you have to bring him a live captive.
Speaker 9: Do you think that's why the murder rate in New
Orleans is so high?
Speaker 5: Well, for lots of vampires.
Speaker 2: How much how much blood would taste some need like
a full body? Could he go with like a pint?
Oh you're like willing to do what I'll donate a
pint that tastes.
Speaker 5: Some weird donating, Yeah, blood to taste.
Speaker 3: Who would have the best blood to drink? If you
were a vampire, whose blood would you want to drink?
Jake's blood would be.
Speaker 6: Just like blood I mean, but okay, okay, look, we're
going to talk about it like this. It's not like
just the person represents their blood. I think different. It's
not like because Jake super athletic, his blood is going
to make someone athletic, Like I don't know what are
the he like eats right and stuff.
Speaker 2: I was thinking, like who drinks the least amount?
Speaker 3: And it's.
Speaker 2: But I also drink awful energy drinks. So Jake, probably Taylor.
Speaker 5: Your blood would not.
Speaker 2: Would be better for like a substitute for like car
gasoline not necessarily.
Speaker 3: One thing that Taylor does have going for him. It
is known in vampire lore that the blood of a
virgin has super qualities that that you know, extra tailor
qualities if you will, So to be fair, Taylor would
have to be one of the top candidates out there.
Speaker 9: How do we know how Mormons feel about garlic? Do
we know they're.
Speaker 6: It's a little I was always a little questionable about
whether Vampire's actually hated garlic.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I feel like that's just something that.
Speaker 3: We made up doesn't have like natural antibiotic uh properties. Yeah,
And so it's one.
Speaker 5: Of the reasons how it gets if you've got a cold,
garlic is great.
Speaker 3: Really. Yeah, I'm just gonna eat a cloth. I'm just
gonna eat it.
Speaker 6: Have you ever got this, Like you ever gotten those
little shots, like the the ginger shots.
Speaker 5: They usually have garlic in them too, Like.
Speaker 3: Ye, wait if you if a if a clove of
garlic is just a little clove, what's the whole bundle
called a bulb? Yes, Yes, I'm gonna eat entire garlic
bowl when I get home. Taylor has that Noss blood. Yeah,
which speaking of Noss, shout out to Vin Diesel what
shout out? Yeah? Yeah, because they're finishing. He is healing
Los Angeles, one Fast and Furious at.
Speaker 5: A time, as uh I mean.
Speaker 3: He posted on Instagram a picture of him hugging Jordana,
one of the actresses from Fast and Furious series, and
he said quote last week to in the fires that
displaced La my sister Geordana reached out to me and said,
please have Universal film the rest of Fast X Part
two in l A. Los Angeles needs it now more
than ever. Los Angeles is where Fast and the Furious
started filming twenty five years ago, and now Fast will
finally return home. All love. So shout out to Vin
Diesel and the Fast X crew for finishing the rest
of Fast X Part two in l A to promote healing,
saving the day. It's a really impressive real.
Speaker 4: Story that's factual.
Speaker 6: Yeah one likes on Instagram?
Speaker 2: Is that word for word what he said?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, well then it's fake. Was that no mention of family?
Not one time?
Speaker 3: He said sister, and he does not mean He does
not mean biological sister. They are not biological sisters, he said, sister,
So you are wrong. Family was indeed mentioned there.
Speaker 8: I did just do a quick fact check.
Speaker 9: I am on Vin Diesel's Instagram and it is indeed there,
and is there.
Speaker 3: It's the Yeah it's time, uh as The top comment
underneath the tweet says, who needs a house when you
got family? Yeah? You know?
Speaker 9: Also, how else were you to restore all the burnts?
Speaker 3: I love that it's not even the whole movie. It's
the rest of Fast X part two, like two weeks
of filming. We've saved l a congratulations, guys. It's it's
the meme of Vin Diesel giving a medal to himself.
He's putting the metal on his own neck for his service.
Shout out Ben, It's it's time to heal. I don't
really know, uh, you know, we transition quite nicely into
that sort. I don't know how to transition break. Yeah,
probably the bills. Yeah, let's yeh, let's give a lot
of new chance to give her bills takes since we.
Speaker 8: Skip over the.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well yeah, we can talk about a lot
of bills on the docut for this week and keep
a log tier on O TV.
Speaker 1: Off the bench.
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Speaker 10: Santa Drain, Secret Destroyer, hold you out to the planes?
Speaker 5: Why do again?
Speaker 1: Back to sports talk? Maybe off the bench design.
Speaker 3: Savaging. No welcome back to OTB. So we're looking at
uh stuff up at the Mormon Church. We all know
about soaking, but do you know about durfy?
Speaker 8: No? Tell us more.
Speaker 3: That's what they call dry humping.
Speaker 8: Why don't they just call it dry.
Speaker 3: Because I imagine a lot more of it goes on there,
and so having a you know, a more snappy term
for it probably makes a lot of sense because.
Speaker 2: Is a lot better. Is great in high school.
Speaker 3: I love it. And my wife introduce some durfing back
in the day. It was great, like we could come
up with a better word, just just rubbing, rubbing denim,
you know, some denim durfing. Nothing better than deep denimurfing.
The Triple D them going. Because in that video where
they're interviewing the students, one girl is like, yeah, I
think you just wanted to dirf. I was like, what,
what's that? That why it's much better than drive?
Speaker 2: Just imagine just grown people at a college and being like,
bro brou you dirt with her? Kick me right out.
He's like, big top durfer, called.
Speaker 3: Me Danny durf because I'd be differ with all these homes.
Speaker 2: You ever you ever durfed with other people in the room?
Speaker 3: Whoa a diurf party?
Speaker 5: Talking about I think there was maybe some dirfing happening.
Speaker 8: Childhood is so questionable.
Speaker 5: What do you mean you did it?
Speaker 3: Wait? So y'all never durft?
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, is the group dirfing in the room with us.
Speaker 3: No, I'm not. I never drift in a room with
a view. I mean, y'all never durft though growing up
that's crazy. Every everybody here is dirft.
Speaker 5: Talk about like my wife like that, seeing like that
probably age.
Speaker 6: I was gonna say this the last time when we
came in with this with Smashing Pumpkins, I have this
like we're doing Smashing Pumpkins. Y.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I haven't.
Speaker 6: I didn't realize that until but I have this visceral memory,
this specific album. I like, my dad had a billion CDs,
you know, and so like I would like always.
Speaker 5: As I got, I thought they were a lot cooler.
Speaker 6: Yes, I thought they were a lot cooler, like I
would steal and I had like an original PlayStation and
I can just remember in like eighth grade or whatever,
being in my room playing the CD on my PlayStation.
Speaker 5: And just feeling two cool.
Speaker 6: Like I was like, I mean, I'm listening to Smashing
Pumpkins link and this is like whatever.
Speaker 3: I'm like, Well, have you seen the Billy Corgan Bill
Burr story.
Speaker 5: I don't know what is it?
Speaker 3: They went on the Howie Mandel podcast, or at least
Bill Burr did, and then all of a sudden, Howie
Mandel launches Billy Corgan upon Bill Burr. They looked shockingly similar,
and apparently Billy Corgan had gone on an early episode
of Mandel podcast and told the story about how his
stepmom had told him that his father had multiple families
and that she believes that Bill Burr is his half
brother and actually give me the well actually cursed. They
cursed in the Yeah, Bilburr curses in the clip. But
Burr's a little miffed by the whole situation.
Speaker 5: Isn't that about it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of like, I mean, why do he
starts off with a why do you think I never
responded to any of that stuff? Like you think I
want to talk about this? Yeah, and now you're here,
and he's like kind of mad about it, and and
Corgan's like, well, I'm sorry how he told me you
were cool? Like I can go And it's like wow, whatever,
it's it's fine, we could talk about it. But then
they go into stories and I'm not sure if it's
all a bit because look, they do look shockingly similar.
But then he goes into stories about how yeah they
you know their dad, they look like Howie and that
it's another bald, like very bald white guyale. But Corgan
and Burr look like brothers, very similar eyes, eyes, mouth,
facial structure, all of it. Like what if Burr was
clean shaven here, Uh, it's not a far leap. And yeah,
I mean apparently, like even to the point where Burr
was saying, I think it just happened. But Burr was
saying that like in his house, I think his dad
only played like the piano and like the saxophone or something,
and he Corgan's he only played the guitar. And like
Burr said that, his dad told him he could have
played the guitar because his fingers are too fat. So
kind of insaying Bill Burbilly Corgan too very successful.
Speaker 9: Yeah, go to the Mormons. A couple of things going
on in the buyou Ford YouTube chat. Apparently Pete Carroll
is going to be the new head coach for the Raiders.
Speaker 3: We don't know. I told you Louisiana Sports the Net.
Ross Jackson had that earlier, that that's the direction they were.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 9: Also, I was going to say this the Dana White
thing where Dana White like stormed out of the Howie
Show or do y'all remember that when that kind of
went viral a few months ago, like Dana White got
quote unquote upset and like storm off the set of
The Howie Show, and that was like a bit too.
So that's why I'm just kind of like, Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean, isn't how a magician? Isn't how he a magician? Originally?
I don't know, am I making that up?
Speaker 2: He wasn't how comedian originally?
Speaker 5: I don't know how he meant it where he came
up with magician, But maybe.
Speaker 3: He doesn't feel like a magician.
Speaker 2: He was definitely a comedian.
Speaker 6: Are you just are you just basing that assumption on vibes?
Are you like he gives the magician vibe?
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was not a magician. I always thought he
was just a just a TV host. I guess yeah.
I mean, I don't know. I think y'all are crazy
if you don't think how he Mandel feels like a magician.
Speaker 6: Uh, but a talk sports guy got excited for eleven seconds.
Speaker 3: Well because we were talking about the Bills. Bills chiefs Okay, yeah.
Speaker 9: Time out before I do that. The Pete Carroll thing, Like,
I don't know, I don't.
Speaker 8: Know what would interest.
Speaker 9: I guess getting back into it, but like, I don't
know what would interest you to go head coach for
the Raiders.
Speaker 3: Because coaches are cut from a different cloth. Why in
the hell did Dan Mullen leave millions of dollars at Lakekacney.
Finally get he.
Speaker 6: Would never coach again because Mullen to me obviously like
he's a good coach, he wouldn't have succeeded. But his
vibes to me are not the same like hardcore coach,
Like he just wants to wear his Jordan's and he
wants to like vibe out.
Speaker 5: He just wants to hang out and make money.
Speaker 3: Like if you're normal, you hate recruiting, and he hated
it to the point where he just stopped doing it,
as with.
Speaker 2: The Cardinals when they fired Cliff Kingsbury. Cliff Kingsbury is like, guys,
I'm taking trips overseas I've never been on, Like I
want to do this. They're interested in getting back into
coaching anytime soon that last than one season?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, sabbatical I mean, I guess when people take
a sabbaticals sooner like a year though, but which still bulling?
Going to U N l V cushy TV people wanting
to coach. Yeah, so they're just they're just different man.
And Pete Carroll really was not bad when they moved
on from him. And so yeah, he's you know, he's
got he's very youthful, seventy whatever. He is, Like, well,
is you know me Mormon? I mean, I don't.
Speaker 2: I think that's like, I don't.
Speaker 3: Know, is it isn't? B Why you like undefeated in
Vegas though? B? Why you had some crazy record in Vegas? Yeah, exactly.
They they shield themselves in the armor of the book
as they descend into Dante A sixth Circle of Hell.
It's right after jacot tsa Atlanta. Seriously, the next one
is Las Vegas. What is seventh? What is the seventh
circle of Hell?
Speaker 6: Then?
Speaker 3: Mhmm. Being Ryan Day's gray hairs, you're just never allowed
to exist. Would Ryan Day? Would Ryan Day be more
likable if he would just let his grey go? I think, like,
right when didn't he?
Speaker 2: Like, dude, it looks pain his hair.
Speaker 6: There's a way to do it without making it look
like that, Like you don't just have.
Speaker 5: To look so severe.
Speaker 2: Like it takes it as a little.
Speaker 5: Salt and pepper, just a little yeah, love a little gray.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Women have been coloring their hair for a long long time.
I mean some men do too, but I mean like
and women aren't walking around like that. Like, just get
a normal person to do your hair. Stop doing it yourself.
Speaker 3: Rivs.
Speaker 7: By the way, it was incredibly incredibly happy as you
can imagine you're the game.
Speaker 3: I mean, bro to go from him feel it, to
go from his shocked lost impression after they are expression
after they lost to Michigan and the fight's going on
and he's so shell shocked, like he looked like he
had spent months on the front lines in World War
One after that game. So to go from that to
a championship, Yeah, I imagine he's pretty yeah, freaking happy.
Scott DICE's Kyle Fields answer weighing on this real quick.
For me, Rims is someone who experienced it. Uh So,
Michigan finally gets a national championship tw years ago and
football they're so happy. You know what happens again and
then the next year Ohio State grabs it. You went
through something like this with Misissippi State and will Miss recently.
What do you think Michigan fans are feeling right now?
Speaker 4: Great?
Speaker 5: Yeah, not great. Yeah it is. It's like very like.
Speaker 3: You want to be able to stand on that bragging
right for at least half a decade.
Speaker 5: Just like a second, yeah, just a second.
Speaker 3: You only got one off season.
Speaker 6: I mean it doesn't make me not it doesn't make
me wish it had not happened, you know for sure,
but like.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just share it now.
Speaker 3: Yeah that sucks.
Speaker 1: It sucks.
Speaker 3: I guess Michigan can still say that they beatle Hot State,
but you know that's kind of gonna ring hollow a bit.
All right, when we get back, let's close out with
ask the Bench, Brardy Bayck, col Kurz, lif vis Here,
Toutal Blue, moon Light, skuy Sitter, Sweet Mopter Bench, Go
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Speaker 1: Back to sports talk, maybe off the bench.
Speaker 3: Welcome back, guys, grab it up another fun Friday Champagne.
She's no champagne today.
Speaker 6: Jim requested t bab sent me a text message and said,
I don't think I need to During the day, I
was in a way which I'm fine with in.
Speaker 3: The middle of a dry January.
Speaker 2: I think it's dry January. It's been like thirteen hours
now or something.
Speaker 8: Like that.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know I had a drink since Wednesday.
Speaker 6: I have been to Superior two days in a row,
so my dr January miss might as well might as asked.
Speaker 3: The bench brought by col Kerz like zero blue moon
Light Skys sit, you're sweet. If the Saints move on
from Car, who should be the next TV not named
rattler drafted guy they're talking about maybe the Giants winning
a trade for Car. I doubt it. But even if
you don't get a quarterback, I think you have to
take anybody that wants to take on Car, no matter
what it does to the cap, simply so you can
get more resources to start to rebuild this team because
you need everything right now. If you are the New
Orleans Saints. Uh hey, guys, I want to remind you
about our friends that go bearded. It's go bearded dot com.
So many men settle, they plan to they never let
their beards grow. Check it out. Man, if you had
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He started this years ago and uh I went to
judge the beard competition for it was awesome. So if
you have a beard, you want beard products, go bearded
dot com. Is your local answer, I say, asked the bench,
when's the last time you durft?
Speaker 5: I thank you, Jake, thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not well, generally you're not behind when you're durfing, knows.
Speaker 2: I mean you actually can be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you actually can be a little more creativity and
it is grindingring two completely different things, guys. I wouldn't
expect y'all small brains to be able to understand.
Speaker 5: What's that makes them different? What makes them different?
Speaker 7: If you if you pause to think about it, Yeah,
it does need to be.
Speaker 3: One is going to simulate the actual act more than
the other. Grinding is not Grinding is a tea tease.
Durfing is further along the road to you know.
Speaker 2: I'm actually a little disappointed in you. I just I
thought you were different, but here you are just thurfing
in the same position over and over and over again.
Speaker 3: I think creativity I kind of feel like, I mean,
is calling.
Speaker 5: You out for lack of creativity.
Speaker 3: It's probably wrong here because I'm sure that by U
students have discovered many ways to dirt. But in my mind,
missionary dirfing is really all that's on the table. It
is the it is the matter. But I don't know
how you would darf in any other way. Maybe if
you did, like a scissor durfing.
Speaker 9: Yeah, real quick, hold on, sorry, sorry, she's trying to
get this end since like the live read ended, But
if we could go back to Tommy's real quick.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're going to be at.
Speaker 9: Lamar Dixon Saturday and Sunday at the home and Remodeling show.
So if you stopped by his booth number two oh
eight and tell him T Bob sent you, that'd be
very helpful.
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, go tell them t Bob sent you. Go
check out the windows, doors and siding. I can't send
people to Tory windows.
Speaker 8: T Bob or Jake sent you.
Speaker 3: I'm just energy efficient lifetime warranty on.
Speaker 8: I'm trying to help us out here.
Speaker 3: As favorite vampire movie, Thirty Days of Darkness.
Speaker 5: Actually great, I was a real and Rice stand when
I was swait.
Speaker 8: What was yours?
Speaker 6: Jake?
Speaker 4: The Lost Boys?
Speaker 3: That's a good one. I don't know that I've ever, like,
really loved a vampire movie, so I think I'm gonna have.
Speaker 5: You've never you don't like any of the and Ra stuff.
Speaker 3: I've never watched all of Interview with the Vampires.
Speaker 8: No Vampire is great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fright nights. A fun one is a fun one.
Speaker 8: What's the one? What they do in the Shadows?
Speaker 5: That one's fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is a good Moore.
Speaker 2: Johnny Depp plays be my favorite. Dark Shadows, Yeah, dark.
Speaker 5: Shadow, dark shadows.
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, that's dark Shadows. What we do in the
Shadows is the one you Maine from Flight to the
Concord Show. They made TV show out of it afterwards,
but it started as a mockumentary. It's so freaking funny. Yeah,
as the which LSU baseball jersey past or president is
the best?
Speaker 8: Give me pin stripes all day.
Speaker 2: I like the Sunday.
Speaker 3: I like that block letter L but wear all the time.
Speaker 6: I tweeted this out the other day because somebody tweeted
Miss State uniforms, but they were like the elastic pants ones.
Can we just get rid of belts and baseball and
just go back to elastic pants? I think belts are
so dumb for baseball players.
Speaker 3: Well, can't you just wear pants or belts with the
elastic pants?
Speaker 5: No, I don't want the belt.
Speaker 6: I want to get rid of the belt. I think
the belt is dumb. You're playing a sport while you
were in a belt.
Speaker 5: I don't like the coach, but I don't like it.
Speaker 3: You have a belt built in your football.
Speaker 6: But this is not belt in They like literally put
the belt on. It's like going to work.
Speaker 8: I think it looks weird without the belt.
Speaker 5: Well, I'm saying, let's go to elastic.
Speaker 3: I think this is a weird hill to die on.
Speaker 5: He's a hell that I'm going to live.
Speaker 3: I support belts. Belts to know how Rivers feels about.
Speaker 5: I think obviously he's very good looking.
Speaker 6: I know baseball players who have who know him, who
really like him a lot, So I get la she
doesn't like him, but.
Speaker 3: I think he is a tiny pe. You all have
a great.
Speaker 1: Dey off the bench.
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