Speaker 1: This is section sixty of The Gilded Age. This LibriVox
Speaker 1: recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age, A
Speaker 1: Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and Seedy Warner,
Speaker 1: Chapter sixty. For some days Laura had been a free
Speaker 1: woman once more. During this time she had experienced, first
Speaker 1: two or three days of triumph, excitement, congratulations, a sort
Speaker 1: of sun burst of gladness after a long night of
Speaker 1: gloom and anxiety. Then two or three days of calming
Speaker 1: down by degrees, a receding of tides, a quieting of
Speaker 1: the storm washed to a murmurous surf beat, a diminishing
Speaker 1: of devastating winds, to a refrain that bore the spirit
Speaker 1: of a truce. Days given to solitude, rest, self, communion,
Speaker 1: and the reasoning of herself into a realization of the
Speaker 1: fact that she was actually done with bolts and bars, prison, horrors,
Speaker 1: and impending death. Then came a day whose hours filed
Speaker 1: slowly by her, each laden with some remnant, some remaining
Speaker 1: fragment of the dreadful time so lately ended, a day which,
Speaker 1: closing at last, left the past a fading shore behind her,
Speaker 1: and turned her eyes toward the broad sea of the future.
Speaker 1: So speedily do we put the dead away and come
Speaker 1: back to our place in the ranks, to march in
Speaker 1: the pilgrimage of life again. And now the sun rose
Speaker 1: once more and ushered in the first day of what
Speaker 1: Laura comprehended and accepted as a new life. The past
Speaker 1: had sunk below the horizon and existed no more for her.
Speaker 1: She was done with it for all time. She was
Speaker 1: gazing out over the trackless expanses of the future now
Speaker 1: with troubled eyes. Life must be begun again at eight
Speaker 1: and twenty years of age. And where to begin? The
Speaker 1: page was blank and waiting for its first record. So
Speaker 1: this was indeed a momentous day. Her thoughts drifted back
Speaker 1: stage by stage over her career, as far as the
Speaker 1: long Highway receded over the plaine of her life. It
Speaker 1: was lined with the gilded and pillared splendors of her ambition.
Speaker 1: All crumbled to ruin an ivy grown. Every milestone marked
Speaker 1: a disaster. There was no green spot remaining anywhere in
Speaker 1: the memory of a hope that had found its fruition.
Speaker 1: The unresponsive earth had uttered, no voice of flowers in
Speaker 1: testimony that one who was blessed had gone that road.
Speaker 1: Her life had been a failure. That was plain. She
Speaker 1: said no more of that. She would now look the
Speaker 1: future in the face. She would mark her course upon
Speaker 1: the chart of life and follow it, follow it without swerving,
Speaker 1: through rocks and shoals, through storm and calm, to a
Speaker 1: haven of rest and peace or shipwreck. Let the end
Speaker 1: be what it might. She would mark her course now
Speaker 1: to day and follow it. On her table lay six
Speaker 1: or seven notes. They were from lovers, from some of
Speaker 1: the prominent names in the land, men whose devotion had
Speaker 1: survived even the grisly revealments of her character which the
Speaker 1: courts had uncurtained, Men who knew her now just as
Speaker 1: she was, and yet pleaded as for their lives, for
Speaker 1: the dear privilege of calling the murderous wife. As she
Speaker 1: read these passionate, these worshiping, these supplicating missives, the woman
Speaker 1: in her nature confessed itself. A strong yearning came upon
Speaker 1: her to lay her head upon a loyal breast and
Speaker 1: find rest from the conflict of life, solace for her griefs,
Speaker 1: the healing of love for her bruised heart. With her
Speaker 1: forehead resting upon her hand, she sat thinking, thinking, while
Speaker 1: the unheeded moments winged their flight. It was one of
Speaker 1: those mornings in early spring when nature seems just stirring
Speaker 1: to a half consciousness out of a long, exhausting lethargy,
Speaker 1: When the first faint, balmy airs go wandering about, whispering
Speaker 1: the secret of the coming change. When the abused brown grass,
Speaker 1: newly relieved of snow, seems considering whether it can be
Speaker 1: worth the trouble and worry of contriving its green raiment again,
Speaker 1: only to fight the inevitable fight with the implacable winter,
Speaker 1: and be vanquished and buried once more. When the sun
Speaker 1: shines out and a few birds venture forth and lift
Speaker 1: up a forgotten song, when a strange stillness and suspense
Speaker 1: pervades the waiting air, It is a time when one's
Speaker 1: spirit is subdued and sad one knows not why, When
Speaker 1: the past seems a storm swept desolation, life a vanity
Speaker 1: and a burden, and the future but a way to death.
Speaker 1: It is a time when one is filled with vague longings,
Speaker 1: when one dreams of flight to peaceful islands in remote
Speaker 1: solitudes of the sea, or folds his hands and says,
Speaker 1: what is the use of struggling and toiling and worrying
Speaker 1: any more, let us give it all up. It was
Speaker 1: into such a mood as this that Laura had drifted
Speaker 1: from the musings which the letters of her lovers had
Speaker 1: called up. Now she lifted her head and noted with
Speaker 1: surprise how the day had wasted. She thrust the letters aside,
Speaker 1: rose up, and went and stood at the window. But
Speaker 1: she was soon thinking again, and was only gazing into vacancy.
Speaker 1: By and by she turned, her countenance had cleared, The
Speaker 1: dreamy look was gone out of her face, all indecision
Speaker 1: had vanished. The poise of her head, and the firm
Speaker 1: set of her lips told that her resolution was formed.
Speaker 1: She moved toward the table, with all the old dignity
Speaker 1: in her carriage and all the old pride in her mian.
Speaker 1: She took up each letter in its turn, touched a
Speaker 1: match to it, and watched it slowly consumed ashes. Then
Speaker 1: she said, I have landed upon on a foreign shore
Speaker 1: and burned my ships behind me. These letters were the
Speaker 1: last thing that held me in sympathy with any remnant
Speaker 1: or belonging of the old life. Henceforth, that life and
Speaker 1: all that it pertains to it are as dead to me,
Speaker 1: and as far removed from me as if I were
Speaker 1: become a denizen of another world. She said that love
Speaker 1: was not for her. The time that it could have
Speaker 1: satisfied her heart was gone by and could not return.
Speaker 1: The opportunity was lost. Nothing could restore it. She said.
Speaker 1: There could be no love without respect, and she would
Speaker 1: only despise a man who could content himself with a
Speaker 1: thing like her. Love, she said, was a woman's first necessity.
Speaker 1: Love being forfeited, there was but one thing left that
Speaker 1: could give a passing zest to a wasted life, and
Speaker 1: that was fame, admiration, the applause of the multitude. And
Speaker 1: so her resolution was taken. She would turn to that
Speaker 1: final resort of the discip pointed of her sex, the
Speaker 1: lecture platform. She would array herself in fine attire. She
Speaker 1: would adorn herself with jewels and stand in her isolated
Speaker 1: magnificence before masked audiences and enchant them with her eloquence
Speaker 1: and amaze them with her unapproachable beauty. She would move
Speaker 1: from city to city like a queen of romance, leaving
Speaker 1: marveling multitudes behind her and impatient multitudes awaiting her coming.
Speaker 1: Her life during one hour of each day upon the
Speaker 1: platform would be a rapturous intoxication. And when the curtain
Speaker 1: fell and the lights were out, and the people gone
Speaker 1: to nestle in their homes and forget her, she would
Speaker 1: find in sleep oblivion of her homelessness, if she could.
Speaker 1: If not, she would brave out the night in solitude
Speaker 1: and wait for the next day's hour of ecstasy. So
Speaker 1: to take up life and begin again was no great evil.
Speaker 1: She saw her way. She would be brave and strong.
Speaker 1: She would make the best of what was left for
Speaker 1: her among the possibilities. She sent for the lecture agent,
Speaker 1: and matters were soon arranged straightway. All the papers were
Speaker 1: filled with her name, and all the dead walls flamed
Speaker 1: with it. The papers called down imprecations upon her head.
Speaker 1: They reviled her without stint. They wondered if all sense
Speaker 1: of decency was dead in this shameless murderess, this brazen lobbyist,
Speaker 1: this heartless seducer of the affections of weak and misguided men.
Speaker 1: They implored the people, for the sake of their pure wives,
Speaker 1: their sinless daughters, for the sake of decency, for the
Speaker 1: sake of public morals, to give this wretched creature such
Speaker 1: a rebuke, as should be in all sufficient evidence to
Speaker 1: her and to such as her, that there was a
Speaker 1: limit where the flaunting of their foul acts and opinions
Speaker 1: before the world must stop. Certain of them with a
Speaker 1: higher art, and to her a finer cruelty, a sharper torture,
Speaker 1: uttered no abuse, but always spoke of her in terms
Speaker 1: of mocking eulogy and ironical admiration. Everybody talked about the
Speaker 1: new wonder canvass the theme of her proposed discourse, and
Speaker 1: marveled how she would handle it. Laura's few friends wrote
Speaker 1: to her, or came and talked with her, and pleaded
Speaker 1: with her to retire while it was yet time, and
Speaker 1: not attempt to face the gathering storm. But it was fruitless.
Speaker 1: She was stunned to the quick by the comments of
Speaker 1: the newspapers. Her spirit was roused, her ambition was towering.
Speaker 1: Now she was more determined than ever she would show
Speaker 1: these people what a hunted and persecuted woman could do.
Speaker 1: The eventful night came. Laura arrived before the Great Lecture
Speaker 1: Hall in a close carriage, within five minutes of the
Speaker 1: time set for the lecture to begin. When she stepped
Speaker 1: out of the vehicle. Her heart beat fast and her
Speaker 1: eyes flashed with exultation. The whole street was packed with people,
Speaker 1: and she could hardly force her way to the hall.
Speaker 1: She reached the anteroom, threw off her wraps, and placed
Speaker 1: before the dressing glass. She turned herself this way and
Speaker 1: that everything was satisfactory. Her attire was perfect. She smoothed
Speaker 1: her hair, re arranged a jewel here and there, and
Speaker 1: all the while her heart sang within her and her
Speaker 1: face was radiant. She had not been so happy for
Speaker 1: ages and ages, it seemed to her. Oh no, she
Speaker 1: had never been so overwhelmingly grateful and happy in her
Speaker 1: whole life. Before the lecture agent appeared at the door,
Speaker 1: she waved him away and said, do not disturb me.
Speaker 1: I want no introduction, and do not fear for me.
Speaker 1: The moment the hands point to eight, I will step
Speaker 1: upon the platform. He disappeared. She held her watch before her.
Speaker 1: She was so impatient that the second hand seemed whole tedious,
Speaker 1: minutes dragging its way around the circle. At last, the
Speaker 1: supreme moment came, and with head erect and the bearing
Speaker 1: of an empress, she swept through the door and stood
Speaker 1: upon the stage. Her eyes fell upon only a vast,
Speaker 1: brilliant emptiness. There were not forty people in the house.
Speaker 1: There were only a handful of coarse men, and ten
Speaker 1: or twelve still coarser women, lolling upon the benches and
Speaker 1: scattered about singly and in couples. Her pulses stood still,
Speaker 1: her limbs quaked, the gladness went out of her face.
Speaker 1: There was a moment of silence, and then a brutal laugh,
Speaker 1: and an explosion of cat calls and hisses saluted her
Speaker 1: from the audience. The clamor grew stronger and louder, and
Speaker 1: insulting speeches were shouted at her. A half intoxicated man
Speaker 1: rose up and threw something which missed her, but it
Speaker 1: bespatted a chair at her side, and this evoked an
Speaker 1: outburst of laughter and boisterous admiration. She was bewildered. Her
Speaker 1: strength was forsaking her. She reeled away from the platform,
Speaker 1: reached the ante room, and dropped helpless upon a sofa.
Speaker 1: The lecture agent ran in, with a hurried question upon
Speaker 1: his lips, but she put forth her hands, and with
Speaker 1: tears raining from her eyes, said, oh, do not speak.
Speaker 1: Take me away, Please take me away out of this
Speaker 1: dreadful place. Oh, this is like all my life, failure, disappointment,
Speaker 1: misery always misery, always failure. What have I done to
Speaker 1: be so pursued? Take me away? I beg of you,
Speaker 1: I implore you. Upon the pavement, she was hustled by the mob.
Speaker 1: The surging masses roared her name and accompanied it with
Speaker 1: every species of insulting epithet. They thronged after the carriage, hooting, jeering, cursing,
Speaker 1: and even assailing the vehicle with missiles. A stone crushed
Speaker 1: through a blind, wounding Laura's forehead and so stunning her
Speaker 1: that she hardly knew what further transpired during her flight.
Speaker 1: It was long before her faculties were wholly restored, and
Speaker 1: then she found herself lying on the floor by a
Speaker 1: sofa in her own sitting room, and alone, So she
Speaker 1: supposed she must have sat down upon the sofa and
Speaker 1: afterward fallen. She raised herself up with difficulty, for the
Speaker 1: air was chilly and her limbs were stiff. She turned
Speaker 1: up the gas and sought the glass. She hardly knew herself,
Speaker 1: so worn and old she looked, and so marred with
Speaker 1: blood were her features. The night was far spent, and
Speaker 1: a dead stillness reigned. She sat down by her table,
Speaker 1: leaned her elbows upon it, and put her face in
Speaker 1: her hands. Her thoughts wandered back over her old life again,
Speaker 1: and her tears flowed unrestrained. Her pride was humbled, her
Speaker 1: spirit was broken, her memory found but one resting place.
Speaker 1: It lingered about her young girlhood with a caressing regret.
Speaker 1: It dwelt upon it as the one brief interval of
Speaker 1: her life that bore no curse. She saw herself again
Speaker 1: in the budding grace of her twelve years, decked in
Speaker 1: her dainty pride of ribbons, consorting with the bees and
Speaker 1: the butterflies, believing in fairies, holding confidential converse with the flowers,
Speaker 1: busying herself all day long with airy trifles that were
Speaker 1: as weighty to her as the affairs that tax the
Speaker 1: brains of diplomats and emperors. She was without sin then
Speaker 1: and unacquainted with grief. The world was full of sunshine,
Speaker 1: and her heart was full of music. From that to this,
Speaker 1: If I could only die, she said, if I could
Speaker 1: only go back and be as I was then for
Speaker 1: one hour, and hold my father's hand in mine again,
Speaker 1: and see all the household about me as in that
Speaker 1: old innocent time, and then die. My God, I am humbled.
Speaker 1: My pride is all gone. My stubborn heart repents have pity.
Speaker 1: When the spring morning dawned, the form still sat there,
Speaker 1: the elbows resting upon the table and the face upon
Speaker 1: the hands. All day long the figure sat there, the
Speaker 1: sunshine enriching its costly raiment and flashing from its jewels.
Speaker 1: Twilight came, and presently the stars, but still the figure remained.
Speaker 1: The moon found it there still and framed the picture
Speaker 1: with the shadow of the window sash, and flooded it
Speaker 1: with mellow light. By and by the darkness swallowed it up,
Speaker 1: and later the gray dawn revealed it again. The new
Speaker 1: day grew toward its prime, and still the forlorn presence
Speaker 1: was undisturbed. But now the keepers of the house had
Speaker 1: become uneasy, their periodical knocking still finding no response, they
Speaker 1: burst open the door. The Jury of inquest found that
Speaker 1: death had resulted from heart disease, and was instant and painless.
Speaker 1: That was all merely heart disease. End of Chapter sixty