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<v Speaker 1>This is section sixty of The Gilded Age. This LibriVox

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<v Speaker 1>recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age, A

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<v Speaker 1>Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and Seedy Warner,

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<v Speaker 1>Chapter sixty. For some days Laura had been a free

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<v Speaker 1>woman once more. During this time she had experienced, first

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<v Speaker 1>two or three days of triumph, excitement, congratulations, a sort

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<v Speaker 1>of sun burst of gladness after a long night of

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<v Speaker 1>gloom and anxiety. Then two or three days of calming

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<v Speaker 1>down by degrees, a receding of tides, a quieting of

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<v Speaker 1>the storm washed to a murmurous surf beat, a diminishing

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<v Speaker 1>of devastating winds, to a refrain that bore the spirit

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<v Speaker 1>of a truce. Days given to solitude, rest, self, communion,

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<v Speaker 1>and the reasoning of herself into a realization of the

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<v Speaker 1>fact that she was actually done with bolts and bars, prison, horrors,

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<v Speaker 1>and impending death. Then came a day whose hours filed

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<v Speaker 1>slowly by her, each laden with some remnant, some remaining

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<v Speaker 1>fragment of the dreadful time so lately ended, a day which,

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<v Speaker 1>closing at last, left the past a fading shore behind her,

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<v Speaker 1>and turned her eyes toward the broad sea of the future.

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<v Speaker 1>So speedily do we put the dead away and come

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<v Speaker 1>back to our place in the ranks, to march in

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<v Speaker 1>the pilgrimage of life again. And now the sun rose

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<v Speaker 1>once more and ushered in the first day of what

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<v Speaker 1>Laura comprehended and accepted as a new life. The past

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<v Speaker 1>had sunk below the horizon and existed no more for her.

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<v Speaker 1>She was done with it for all time. She was

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<v Speaker 1>gazing out over the trackless expanses of the future now

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<v Speaker 1>with troubled eyes. Life must be begun again at eight

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<v Speaker 1>and twenty years of age. And where to begin? The

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<v Speaker 1>page was blank and waiting for its first record. So

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<v Speaker 1>this was indeed a momentous day. Her thoughts drifted back

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<v Speaker 1>stage by stage over her career, as far as the

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<v Speaker 1>long Highway receded over the plaine of her life. It

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<v Speaker 1>was lined with the gilded and pillared splendors of her ambition.

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<v Speaker 1>All crumbled to ruin an ivy grown. Every milestone marked

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<v Speaker 1>a disaster. There was no green spot remaining anywhere in

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<v Speaker 1>the memory of a hope that had found its fruition.

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<v Speaker 1>The unresponsive earth had uttered, no voice of flowers in

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<v Speaker 1>testimony that one who was blessed had gone that road.

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<v Speaker 1>Her life had been a failure. That was plain. She

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<v Speaker 1>said no more of that. She would now look the

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<v Speaker 1>future in the face. She would mark her course upon

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<v Speaker 1>the chart of life and follow it, follow it without swerving,

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<v Speaker 1>through rocks and shoals, through storm and calm, to a

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<v Speaker 1>haven of rest and peace or shipwreck. Let the end

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<v Speaker 1>be what it might. She would mark her course now

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<v Speaker 1>to day and follow it. On her table lay six

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<v Speaker 1>or seven notes. They were from lovers, from some of

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<v Speaker 1>the prominent names in the land, men whose devotion had

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<v Speaker 1>survived even the grisly revealments of her character which the

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<v Speaker 1>courts had uncurtained, Men who knew her now just as

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<v Speaker 1>she was, and yet pleaded as for their lives, for

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<v Speaker 1>the dear privilege of calling the murderous wife. As she

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<v Speaker 1>read these passionate, these worshiping, these supplicating missives, the woman

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<v Speaker 1>in her nature confessed itself. A strong yearning came upon

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<v Speaker 1>her to lay her head upon a loyal breast and

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<v Speaker 1>find rest from the conflict of life, solace for her griefs,

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<v Speaker 1>the healing of love for her bruised heart. With her

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<v Speaker 1>forehead resting upon her hand, she sat thinking, thinking, while

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<v Speaker 1>the unheeded moments winged their flight. It was one of

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<v Speaker 1>those mornings in early spring when nature seems just stirring

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<v Speaker 1>to a half consciousness out of a long, exhausting lethargy,

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<v Speaker 1>When the first faint, balmy airs go wandering about, whispering

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<v Speaker 1>the secret of the coming change. When the abused brown grass,

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<v Speaker 1>newly relieved of snow, seems considering whether it can be

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<v Speaker 1>worth the trouble and worry of contriving its green raiment again,

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<v Speaker 1>only to fight the inevitable fight with the implacable winter,

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<v Speaker 1>and be vanquished and buried once more. When the sun

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<v Speaker 1>shines out and a few birds venture forth and lift

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<v Speaker 1>up a forgotten song, when a strange stillness and suspense

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<v Speaker 1>pervades the waiting air, It is a time when one's

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<v Speaker 1>spirit is subdued and sad one knows not why, When

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<v Speaker 1>the past seems a storm swept desolation, life a vanity

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<v Speaker 1>and a burden, and the future but a way to death.

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<v Speaker 1>It is a time when one is filled with vague longings,

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<v Speaker 1>when one dreams of flight to peaceful islands in remote

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<v Speaker 1>solitudes of the sea, or folds his hands and says,

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<v Speaker 1>what is the use of struggling and toiling and worrying

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<v Speaker 1>any more, let us give it all up. It was

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<v Speaker 1>into such a mood as this that Laura had drifted

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<v Speaker 1>from the musings which the letters of her lovers had

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<v Speaker 1>called up. Now she lifted her head and noted with

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<v Speaker 1>surprise how the day had wasted. She thrust the letters aside,

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<v Speaker 1>rose up, and went and stood at the window. But

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<v Speaker 1>she was soon thinking again, and was only gazing into vacancy.

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<v Speaker 1>By and by she turned, her countenance had cleared, The

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<v Speaker 1>dreamy look was gone out of her face, all indecision

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<v Speaker 1>had vanished. The poise of her head, and the firm

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<v Speaker 1>set of her lips told that her resolution was formed.

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<v Speaker 1>She moved toward the table, with all the old dignity

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<v Speaker 1>in her carriage and all the old pride in her mian.

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<v Speaker 1>She took up each letter in its turn, touched a

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<v Speaker 1>match to it, and watched it slowly consumed ashes. Then

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<v Speaker 1>she said, I have landed upon on a foreign shore

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<v Speaker 1>and burned my ships behind me. These letters were the

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<v Speaker 1>last thing that held me in sympathy with any remnant

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<v Speaker 1>or belonging of the old life. Henceforth, that life and

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<v Speaker 1>all that it pertains to it are as dead to me,

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<v Speaker 1>and as far removed from me as if I were

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<v Speaker 1>become a denizen of another world. She said that love

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<v Speaker 1>was not for her. The time that it could have

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<v Speaker 1>satisfied her heart was gone by and could not return.

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<v Speaker 1>The opportunity was lost. Nothing could restore it. She said.

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<v Speaker 1>There could be no love without respect, and she would

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<v Speaker 1>only despise a man who could content himself with a

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<v Speaker 1>thing like her. Love, she said, was a woman's first necessity.

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<v Speaker 1>Love being forfeited, there was but one thing left that

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<v Speaker 1>could give a passing zest to a wasted life, and

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<v Speaker 1>that was fame, admiration, the applause of the multitude. And

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<v Speaker 1>so her resolution was taken. She would turn to that

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<v Speaker 1>final resort of the discip pointed of her sex, the

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<v Speaker 1>lecture platform. She would array herself in fine attire. She

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<v Speaker 1>would adorn herself with jewels and stand in her isolated

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<v Speaker 1>magnificence before masked audiences and enchant them with her eloquence

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<v Speaker 1>and amaze them with her unapproachable beauty. She would move

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<v Speaker 1>from city to city like a queen of romance, leaving

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<v Speaker 1>marveling multitudes behind her and impatient multitudes awaiting her coming.

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<v Speaker 1>Her life during one hour of each day upon the

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<v Speaker 1>platform would be a rapturous intoxication. And when the curtain

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<v Speaker 1>fell and the lights were out, and the people gone

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<v Speaker 1>to nestle in their homes and forget her, she would

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<v Speaker 1>find in sleep oblivion of her homelessness, if she could.

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<v Speaker 1>If not, she would brave out the night in solitude

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<v Speaker 1>and wait for the next day's hour of ecstasy. So

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<v Speaker 1>to take up life and begin again was no great evil.

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<v Speaker 1>She saw her way. She would be brave and strong.

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<v Speaker 1>She would make the best of what was left for

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<v Speaker 1>her among the possibilities. She sent for the lecture agent,

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<v Speaker 1>and matters were soon arranged straightway. All the papers were

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<v Speaker 1>filled with her name, and all the dead walls flamed

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<v Speaker 1>with it. The papers called down imprecations upon her head.

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<v Speaker 1>They reviled her without stint. They wondered if all sense

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<v Speaker 1>of decency was dead in this shameless murderess, this brazen lobbyist,

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<v Speaker 1>this heartless seducer of the affections of weak and misguided men.

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<v Speaker 1>They implored the people, for the sake of their pure wives,

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<v Speaker 1>their sinless daughters, for the sake of decency, for the

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<v Speaker 1>sake of public morals, to give this wretched creature such

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<v Speaker 1>a rebuke, as should be in all sufficient evidence to

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<v Speaker 1>her and to such as her, that there was a

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<v Speaker 1>limit where the flaunting of their foul acts and opinions

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<v Speaker 1>before the world must stop. Certain of them with a

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<v Speaker 1>higher art, and to her a finer cruelty, a sharper torture,

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<v Speaker 1>uttered no abuse, but always spoke of her in terms

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<v Speaker 1>of mocking eulogy and ironical admiration. Everybody talked about the

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<v Speaker 1>new wonder canvass the theme of her proposed discourse, and

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<v Speaker 1>marveled how she would handle it. Laura's few friends wrote

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<v Speaker 1>to her, or came and talked with her, and pleaded

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<v Speaker 1>with her to retire while it was yet time, and

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<v Speaker 1>not attempt to face the gathering storm. But it was fruitless.

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<v Speaker 1>She was stunned to the quick by the comments of

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<v Speaker 1>the newspapers. Her spirit was roused, her ambition was towering.

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<v Speaker 1>Now she was more determined than ever she would show

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<v Speaker 1>these people what a hunted and persecuted woman could do.

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<v Speaker 1>The eventful night came. Laura arrived before the Great Lecture

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<v Speaker 1>Hall in a close carriage, within five minutes of the

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<v Speaker 1>time set for the lecture to begin. When she stepped

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<v Speaker 1>out of the vehicle. Her heart beat fast and her

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<v Speaker 1>eyes flashed with exultation. The whole street was packed with people,

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<v Speaker 1>and she could hardly force her way to the hall.

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<v Speaker 1>She reached the anteroom, threw off her wraps, and placed

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<v Speaker 1>before the dressing glass. She turned herself this way and

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<v Speaker 1>that everything was satisfactory. Her attire was perfect. She smoothed

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<v Speaker 1>her hair, re arranged a jewel here and there, and

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<v Speaker 1>all the while her heart sang within her and her

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<v Speaker 1>face was radiant. She had not been so happy for

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<v Speaker 1>ages and ages, it seemed to her. Oh no, she

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<v Speaker 1>had never been so overwhelmingly grateful and happy in her

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<v Speaker 1>whole life. Before the lecture agent appeared at the door,

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<v Speaker 1>she waved him away and said, do not disturb me.

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<v Speaker 1>I want no introduction, and do not fear for me.

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<v Speaker 1>The moment the hands point to eight, I will step

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<v Speaker 1>upon the platform. He disappeared. She held her watch before her.

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<v Speaker 1>She was so impatient that the second hand seemed whole tedious,

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<v Speaker 1>minutes dragging its way around the circle. At last, the

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<v Speaker 1>supreme moment came, and with head erect and the bearing

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<v Speaker 1>of an empress, she swept through the door and stood

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<v Speaker 1>upon the stage. Her eyes fell upon only a vast,

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<v Speaker 1>brilliant emptiness. There were not forty people in the house.

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<v Speaker 1>There were only a handful of coarse men, and ten

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<v Speaker 1>or twelve still coarser women, lolling upon the benches and

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<v Speaker 1>scattered about singly and in couples. Her pulses stood still,

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<v Speaker 1>her limbs quaked, the gladness went out of her face.

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<v Speaker 1>There was a moment of silence, and then a brutal laugh,

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<v Speaker 1>and an explosion of cat calls and hisses saluted her

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<v Speaker 1>from the audience. The clamor grew stronger and louder, and

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<v Speaker 1>insulting speeches were shouted at her. A half intoxicated man

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<v Speaker 1>rose up and threw something which missed her, but it

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<v Speaker 1>bespatted a chair at her side, and this evoked an

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<v Speaker 1>outburst of laughter and boisterous admiration. She was bewildered. Her

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<v Speaker 1>strength was forsaking her. She reeled away from the platform,

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<v Speaker 1>reached the ante room, and dropped helpless upon a sofa.

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<v Speaker 1>The lecture agent ran in, with a hurried question upon

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<v Speaker 1>his lips, but she put forth her hands, and with

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<v Speaker 1>tears raining from her eyes, said, oh, do not speak.

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<v Speaker 1>Take me away, Please take me away out of this

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<v Speaker 1>dreadful place. Oh, this is like all my life, failure, disappointment,

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<v Speaker 1>misery always misery, always failure. What have I done to

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<v Speaker 1>be so pursued? Take me away? I beg of you,

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<v Speaker 1>I implore you. Upon the pavement, she was hustled by the mob.

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<v Speaker 1>The surging masses roared her name and accompanied it with

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<v Speaker 1>every species of insulting epithet. They thronged after the carriage, hooting, jeering, cursing,

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<v Speaker 1>and even assailing the vehicle with missiles. A stone crushed

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<v Speaker 1>through a blind, wounding Laura's forehead and so stunning her

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<v Speaker 1>that she hardly knew what further transpired during her flight.

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<v Speaker 1>It was long before her faculties were wholly restored, and

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<v Speaker 1>then she found herself lying on the floor by a

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<v Speaker 1>sofa in her own sitting room, and alone, So she

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<v Speaker 1>supposed she must have sat down upon the sofa and

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<v Speaker 1>afterward fallen. She raised herself up with difficulty, for the

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<v Speaker 1>air was chilly and her limbs were stiff. She turned

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<v Speaker 1>up the gas and sought the glass. She hardly knew herself,

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<v Speaker 1>so worn and old she looked, and so marred with

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<v Speaker 1>blood were her features. The night was far spent, and

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<v Speaker 1>a dead stillness reigned. She sat down by her table,

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<v Speaker 1>leaned her elbows upon it, and put her face in

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<v Speaker 1>her hands. Her thoughts wandered back over her old life again,

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<v Speaker 1>and her tears flowed unrestrained. Her pride was humbled, her

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<v Speaker 1>spirit was broken, her memory found but one resting place.

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<v Speaker 1>It lingered about her young girlhood with a caressing regret.

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<v Speaker 1>It dwelt upon it as the one brief interval of

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<v Speaker 1>her life that bore no curse. She saw herself again

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<v Speaker 1>in the budding grace of her twelve years, decked in

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<v Speaker 1>her dainty pride of ribbons, consorting with the bees and

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<v Speaker 1>the butterflies, believing in fairies, holding confidential converse with the flowers,

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<v Speaker 1>busying herself all day long with airy trifles that were

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<v Speaker 1>as weighty to her as the affairs that tax the

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<v Speaker 1>brains of diplomats and emperors. She was without sin then

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<v Speaker 1>and unacquainted with grief. The world was full of sunshine,

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<v Speaker 1>and her heart was full of music. From that to this,

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<v Speaker 1>If I could only die, she said, if I could

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<v Speaker 1>only go back and be as I was then for

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<v Speaker 1>one hour, and hold my father's hand in mine again,

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<v Speaker 1>and see all the household about me as in that

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<v Speaker 1>old innocent time, and then die. My God, I am humbled.

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<v Speaker 1>My pride is all gone. My stubborn heart repents have pity.

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<v Speaker 1>When the spring morning dawned, the form still sat there,

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<v Speaker 1>the elbows resting upon the table and the face upon

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<v Speaker 1>the hands. All day long the figure sat there, the

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<v Speaker 1>sunshine enriching its costly raiment and flashing from its jewels.

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<v Speaker 1>Twilight came, and presently the stars, but still the figure remained.

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<v Speaker 1>The moon found it there still and framed the picture

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<v Speaker 1>with the shadow of the window sash, and flooded it

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<v Speaker 1>with mellow light. By and by the darkness swallowed it up,

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<v Speaker 1>and later the gray dawn revealed it again. The new

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<v Speaker 1>day grew toward its prime, and still the forlorn presence

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<v Speaker 1>was undisturbed. But now the keepers of the house had

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<v Speaker 1>become uneasy, their periodical knocking still finding no response, they

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<v Speaker 1>burst open the door. The Jury of inquest found that

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<v Speaker 1>death had resulted from heart disease, and was instant and painless.

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<v Speaker 1>That was all merely heart disease. End of Chapter sixty