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Speaker 5: Wmn E RIP the novels.
Speaker 6: Welcome back everybody.
Speaker 2: We have entered our number three New Marrow trace of
Matt Connorton unleashed and we are live from the studios
of w m n H ninety five point three FM
in Glorious Manchester, New Hampshire. Today is Saturday, September twenty eight,
twenty twenty four. Jenny is here of course at the.
Speaker 6: News table, president account of four.
Speaker 2: And joining us in the studio this morning. We have
making her third appearance, as we figured out on.
Speaker 6: The on the program. Doctor Bethany Bilidoh is here.
Speaker 7: Welcome back, Thanks so much. I'm so happy to be here.
I'm shooting for the five.
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, you get to that five dimers club. You get.
Speaker 2: What do we what do we give guests who uh
we can't afford to give them clap a jacket?
Speaker 6: We'll give a hand.
Speaker 8: Fanning ovation, I think, and our undying gratitude.
Speaker 6: I think we should do five hand claps. When that happens,
you're pushing it. Well, I just think that, you know,
come on, five, she get five hand claps? All right?
Speaker 1: I kind of see you point there.
Speaker 6: That makes sense, and they should be enthusiastic to.
Speaker 8: Give them an extra one for good luck.
Speaker 1: No, that's supposed to work.
Speaker 6: There are rules.
Speaker 1: I don't like rules.
Speaker 6: Somebody an extra handclap, that's absurd.
Speaker 9: Breaking the law, breaking the law.
Speaker 1: Figure it out. You can figure around, she will, that's right.
Speaker 2: Sneak one in, boy, I'll tell you. Uh, doctor b
you congratulations. First of all, you just won yet another award.
Speaker 1: I did. I didn't know we were nominated for it, but.
Speaker 6: Oh that's the best. That often to Jenny and I
once remember when we got in a certificated that.
Speaker 7: Is awesome when it happens, because it's like surprise, you
got this and you didn't even exist on the back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't mine on the wall.
Speaker 2: Jenny and I got Jenny and I got an award
once emailed to us from somebody, like a Great Broadcaster award.
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, awesome.
Speaker 1: I got one on the wall from like that.
Speaker 6: You did you frame yours?
Speaker 9: I did?
Speaker 6: Yes, Mine's in my email. Still is this kind of
random thing?
Speaker 1: Does she use them as wallpaper?
Speaker 6: She does?
Speaker 2: She has many awards. She has many awards, but you
have many awards. How many awards have you wont now?
Speaker 1: I honestly don't know.
Speaker 8: Yeah, that's a good problem to have, no clue.
Speaker 1: Most of the awards are like, yay, nice job, doctor b.
Speaker 7: You came in first for the best costume on Halloween
at that elementary school that you worked at that day,
or you ran the fastest to get in front of
that kid or something like that. Right, those kind of
awards and awards an award, you're right, I like those
awards the best, though, to be honest.
Speaker 2: We'll tell us about this newest one. And you said
you didn't know you were even nominated.
Speaker 1: I didn't know it's on social equity this one.
Speaker 7: So it's for a leader in the field that has
really promoted social equity for both their customers as well
as their employees and has improved quality of life and
those sorts of things.
Speaker 1: So okay, so it'll be great.
Speaker 7: We have a we're going to the awards ceremony in
a couple of weeks and a lot of our employees
are attending it with us, and which will be really awesome.
Speaker 1: We're looking forward to that. Yeah, it'll be a neat
experience for us.
Speaker 4: All.
Speaker 6: Now, who So who awarded you the award?
Speaker 1: It's Business New Hampshire, I believe.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, nice, So talk to us about social equity.
Speaker 6: So what does this mean and why are they giving
you this award?
Speaker 7: So a big part of it is really about like we,
as you know, we work with at risk youth and
for the listeners that are on that don't know that,
we work with youth that are really marginalized, and we
tend to run large alternative education programs within school districts,
or we come into school districts and we train them
on how to work with particular students that may be
struggling and because of that our goal is always to
increase their social value, So we spend a lot of
time helping to facilitate peer relationships, helping to establish healthier
relationships between them and the adults that they're working with
within their schools and within their communities, and really improve
their social value over time.
Speaker 1: So that that's very relevant.
Speaker 7: And oftentimes these kids are reintegrated most of the time,
more than eighty five percent of the time, these students
are reintegrated back into their general education setting and into
their communities. And oftentimes these are students that haven't had
that luxury of participating in a general education setting in
years by the time they get to us. So it's
really about getting them back to where they can be
and have connections, because that's such a huge factor in
quality of life.
Speaker 6: Right right. Absolutely.
Speaker 2: By the way, Sarah Patna is in the chat room
and says, let's go for ten.
Speaker 1: We get there a little time, Sarah, you're always back
pushing us off.
Speaker 6: And then and then you'll get ten collaps. It'll be great.
Speaker 1: Even for good laws.
Speaker 6: We don't do that. What Benji tell us, I know
you don't want to brag, but you should tell us
about the other awards that you've won.
Speaker 7: So we won just recently, about five or six months ago.
We also won an award and Education so for people
who have made significant contributions and changes in the world
of education. And that's again, you know, due to our
work with at risk youth and reintegrating students into the
general education setting. And our goal is always to get
into a school, give them the skills, teach them what
they need to know, and then get out. And we
spend a lot of time coaching families to a significant
amount of time actually coaching families, okay, and that makes
a huge difference. Like it's just such a great thing
when you have a parents say we'll teach us something,
we will, we want to and oftentimes they do. They've
tried everything they know. It's just a matter of youth
are different today. We're different today. There's so many changes
that have happened in the past five to ten years,
and the strategy she's that we used ten twenty years
ago don't necessarily work. So it's a matter of just
having better strategies that address the actual issues that are
going on right And most of the time it really
stems down to safety, safe, feeling regulated, if you don't
feel safe, you're not going to take a risk.
Speaker 1: And so many things in life involve us taking the risk.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm curious. I don't know if we talked about
this much before. Something specific.
Speaker 2: You mentioned about strategies that worked ten or twenty years
ago that don't necessarily work now. Can you give us
some examples of what used to work that doesn't work
now and maybe why?
Speaker 7: Yeah, those time compliance that's a big one that doesn't
work nowadays. Like that, you know, back twenty years ago,
you could say, well, if you don't do this, you're
going to get in trouble. We're gonna either call the
police or get the principle in here, or tell your
parents or something like that, And there's no fear of
that nowadays, there really isn't in The fear is really
I have to live my life. I've gotta be able
to post something on social media that one of my
other peers is going to think is cool.
Speaker 1: Otherwise I have no social value. It's gonna reduce me.
Speaker 7: You know, those are really the concerns that youth are
having today, much more so than you know, an authority
figure coming in and providing something, because they know that there's.
Speaker 6: No real power behind that inting.
Speaker 7: So there that is not a concern. Like you know,
I'll always tell schools. They'll be like, Oh, we're gonna
this is happening. We're gonna call the police, and I'll
be like, just give me a few minutes and let
me see if I can, you know, get this situation
turned around before we go down that road. Because once
you call the police once or twice, that's it. Right
the next time they come and they're gonna be hey,
what's up, you know, right right to the officers. So
you know, don't use that as a threat because it's
it's really not a threat.
Speaker 1: At this point.
Speaker 6: But why did that used to work?
Speaker 7: I think because we did have that concern and that fear.
The way we were raised created that. I think kids
are much more knowledgeable about those things nowadays. They're much
more desensitized to it because they're so overexposed to so
many things, and they also know what the results of
it are. They know if a police officer comes in,
what they can do, what they can't do, And they
didn't have that awareness.
Speaker 6: Yeah, ten or.
Speaker 1: Twenty years ago.
Speaker 7: They're very over stimulated, oversaturated to things that are going
on in their world, and that's made a huge difference
in how they interact. They feel on edge a little
fearful all the time, but most people do. I will
say that that's true of most individuals, not just youth
and so feeling safe enough to be able to do
something that's a little different or out of their comfort zone,
it takes a big step. So you've got to get
them to feel safe first and then give them some
strategies to help them regulate and that sort of thing.
So many of us are, like, you know, we're constantly
looking for something else to do or something to get
upset over because we're so used to.
Speaker 1: Feeling that way.
Speaker 7: We've been conditioned to feel that way so much of
the time that sometimes when we don't feel that way,
it feels almost boring. It's not raging enough for the brains. So,
you know, teaching yourself that there's good things in the calmness,
that your body has time to heal, you have time
to you know, get yourself into a better state of
mind and everything else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, Elizabeth England in the Facebook live chat uh
says in social media wasn't so important? Yeah, I mean, well,
twenty years ago we didn't even have well, I don't know.
I guess we I guess we did twenty years ago, right,
we had, we did, we.
Speaker 6: Had my Space. I don't know about it.
Speaker 7: Many people were really on social media, though, are paying
as close attention to it now as they did it,
you know back in you know, twenty years ago versus now.
I mean now, it's a huge thing, especially if I'm
with kids. They have you know, in schools, are a
little bit more careful about the phones, but if I'm
in their homes, have no qualms in the middle of
talking with me, taking it out and checking something on
their phone or texting someone or you know, doing a
snapchat real quick or something like that.
Speaker 1: It's just commonplace.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and it's it is how they interact with each
other nowadays. If you look at teens, they're all sitting together,
but they're not really talking to each other, and they're
all got their phones out and they're you know, communicating
through that and they're reading each other's snapchat. They're like
the snapchat, the pictures coming up, and they're looking at
it and it's their friend that's sitting two seats down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 6: That's funny.
Speaker 2: Our friend Ricky Mapleton, who's very funny. He does he's
a musician, but he does these comedy songs and he
has one we played it on the show. It's got
a long title, something like shoot me an email while
I'm standing right in front of you, and it's about
that kind of thing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yes, what do you do? So how do you
And this might.
Speaker 2: Be useful for parents or anyone who's dealing with kids. Well,
hopefully this entire conversation is, but something specific I'm wondering about,
So what do you do? How do you address that
when that exactly scenario. You know, you're you're talking to
a kid and right in the middle of the conversation
they just.
Speaker 6: Switch to me.
Speaker 2: Seems I mean, how rude, right, But to them, it's
like I guess some some of them, they just don't even.
Speaker 7: It's part of the social norm or that it is
part of the social norm of what's going on today.
So for me personally, I just try to be way
more engaging than what's going on on their device. So
that oftentimes means that I'm either acting things out, or
I'm using silly voices, or I'm doing whatever, or I'm
saying something shocking or whatever it is. But yeah, my
role is really to engage, so because if I can't engage,
I can't change behavior. So I spend a lot of
time trying to do something that is a little bit
out of the ordinary to get their attention. And oftentimes
I'm so focused on them in giving them so much
feedback that they're almost uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Taking it out at times. Oh really, they'll.
Speaker 7: Take it out, but they'll be like, well, I'm just
doing this and I'll be like, oh, show me, I
want to see.
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about social media, show me how
to do that.
Speaker 7: And then they'll be like, okay, this is now a
lesson for you, you know. And I try to engage
them with the item if I can't engage them in
another way.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 7: I also recommend to parents a lot, like have your
kids take social media breaks and do the same. You know,
if you guys are going away for a day or
you know, a weekend or something, take a break, you know,
to leave your phones at home or use it only
at specific times. You know, do things like that because
that will really help all of you interact on a
much larger level and have some conversations that are more
in depth and fun conversations about things you want. Like
with my daughters, I'll be like a perfect saturday. Tell
me what a perfect Saturday would be.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 1: My eleven year old would say.
Speaker 7: You take me shopping and then for ice cream and
we do all these fabulous things. But you know, so
just doing things like that where you're getting to know
them a little bit better, yeah, makes a huge difference.
But I used to My boys are adults now, but
I used to ask my boys to take social media
vacations and stuff like that, and I would They would
actually take the social media platforms off the phones, like
they would delete that, oh for periods of time and everything.
Usually it was a result of doing something on social.
Speaker 1: Media that wasn't fabulous, but that would be.
Speaker 7: But we would get to know each other so much
better during that time period when they didn't have it
on their phones because they didn't really have the desire
to text and do that sort of thing. That's not
how youth communicate now. It's usually through snapchatter, Instagram or something.
So they would, you know, so they would have conversations. Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, how big of a problem is this in schools?
Speaker 2: Because something something that I wonder about is how do
schools even.
Speaker 6: I guess every school system must have their.
Speaker 1: Own, it is all a little different on how they
deal with it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I mean, I've heard of schools where
they have the like where the students walk in and
they actually take.
Speaker 1: Their phones away their band they put them.
Speaker 6: In some sort of lock box until the end of
the day or something.
Speaker 7: There are some schools that have done that too, and
there's a lot of schools have that have worked really
hard to get responsible use and if that's violated, then
there's consequences for the violations and so on and so forth.
Speaker 1: The problem with the phones is that it really on
a brain level.
Speaker 7: When you're looking at the brain, it wears out the
dopamine receptors, So then you're checking it more often, you're
doing it, you know, and then you're like, I can't
get that feedback from it, So then they're looking up
more and more shocking things. Over time, it was just
pushing them to have more and more of that intense feedback,
which isn't real life a lot of the time.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you are just joining us, we're talking with
doctor Bethany Bilido, doctor b As. She is like to
she likes to be called from, of course, out of
the behavior boot camp.
Speaker 6: And we're just gonna take a very quick break.
Speaker 2: I'm actually gonna have I'm gonna play a little something
and we're gonna have you switch to a different microphone
because that that microphone isn't sounding quite right, and I
want to make sure everyone can hear you.
Speaker 1: So it's not it's not it's probably user error. Was anology.
It's not guarantee an, it's not.
Speaker 2: It's not you, I promise, uh, but uh, we'll be
right back. We're gonna play a little jam tomorrow and
we'll be right back with Doctor b.
Speaker 7: M.
Speaker 10: And A feel like things are falling into place.
Speaker 7: And I feel.
Speaker 10: Like it's the end of the Red Queen's Races, and
I feel like the stars.
Speaker 11: Are gonna change because I feel like this was all just.
Speaker 5: Rearray. As we move from hugs.
Speaker 10: And handshakes, we must remember how our souls ay, as
we move from confidant to confidet, we must remember how
our souls pay re.
Speaker 5: But A feel like things are falling in mint.
Speaker 2: All right, that's a little bit of jam tomorrow, falling
into place, such a great song.
Speaker 6: We'll play the whole thing at the end of the show.
Speaker 2: I promise I love that song so much, but we
just wanted to switch our guests to a different microphone.
So if you are just joining us here on Matt
Connorton Unleashed this morning, we have a doctor Bethany billideo
with us live and studio, and let's bring that mic
up and let's see how we do. Hello, doctor Bee, Hey,
how are you? Oh that sounds better already. I just
got to boost the volume a little bit.
Speaker 7: So Matt said that this microphone never goes down. And
you know, those of you that know me and have
been at trainings of men, you know that that that's
the technology curse with me?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Really have you have you had a technical glitches over
the ears?
Speaker 7: Everywhere I go, I will say shout out to Bo
School district. Whenever I train in Bow School district. All
the technology always works perfectly. Really, any other just direct
I train in pretty much there's usually some glitch.
Speaker 6: We shout out to both school districts. Then that's excellent.
That's excellent.
Speaker 2: So if you could talk a little bit about the
behavior boot camp. Obviously you know, as we said, this
is your third time on the show. But for listeners
who are just getting to know you for the first time,
what is this?
Speaker 7: So the Behavior boot Camp is really our online platform.
We have a course, an online course that's also live.
We hold weekly sessions as well through the course, but
it's it's a training program that teaches people how to
understand and how to teach, and how to recognize when
safety is a concern, how regulation is a concern, and
those strategies and then a lot of higher skills, like
you can't get to the therapeutic parts. You can't get
to the the mindfulness, you can't get to the meditation,
you can't get to the all of those social emotional learning,
all those other pieces until you can address safety and
regulation first. So that course teaches it, and it's really
simple things like how you're standing, the way you tilt
your head, how you're moving into the space with another
person so that they feel safe, and how to do
those things. And whenever I walk into a school and
they'll say, oh, you know, there's a meltdown going on,
they'll say, doctor b you know, can you handle that?
Speaker 1: Absolutely?
Speaker 7: And I go outside and within two seconds the kids
coming in that was taking off into the woods.
Speaker 1: Or whatever and they're like, why do you do that
so fast?
Speaker 7: It's not rocket science, it's simple techniques that can be taught.
And we really developed this online course because we had
a lot of places outside of New England contacting us
for support that we really couldn't address the need, and
we couldn't address the need of as many school districts
that were asking for the support in these alternative ED
programs in their schools because of the number of staff
that we have, and there were so many parents that
were calling and I'm trying to talk them through on
the phone how to do a technique that I was like,
we need something that where people can see it. So
oftentimes if we're working with family, were you know, giving
them a membership to the course and that sort of
thing so they can learn the skills, so they can
see all these techniques and everything else. And we operate
on that through social media too. We put out little
clips every few days on social media that show different
techniques and all of that, because we really feel like
we're doing something that's very unique. I've only met a
couple of other professionals in the nation that do similar
work and their solo shows, so we really feel obligated
to give these strategies and techniques to the community at
large because a lot of people don't know them and
they are very different from traditional you know, techniques that
were used, and traditional techniques can still work, Yeah, but
they only work with about thirty percent of the population
at this point.
Speaker 6: Okay, so there's nobody else really doing this on this level.
Speaker 7: No. I know an occupational therapist that does somewhat similar
work with her student in Massachusetts, and then there's a
woman over in California that actually two women who do
similar work, but again it's a one on one situation,
and one of them's a therapist and the other one
is a behaviorist, but she only teaches it through yoga techniques,
And that's not what we do. Ours encompasses so much
more than just physical maneuvers with the body and everything else.
We do a lot that deals with the mind and
brain health and mental health and everything else. So our
strategies are really proprietary to what we do and how
we work with students, but it's how we get results
so fast.
Speaker 6: We do have a question in the chat room, Angela.
Speaker 4: Carter.
Speaker 2: Angela Griffiths Carter says, how are the book ease the
pain in the classroom and the behavior boot camp related.
Speaker 7: Well, the book actually I wrote the book which is
coming out in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 6: Oh congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 7: So that book will be released in twenty twenty five.
And I wrote that book as a supplement to the
course itself because there's a lot of educators that say,
you know, I don't have time to go through the
videos on the course. I don't have time to attend
the classes, the live classes that you guys hold, So
what are my other options? So we certainly don't have
as much content in the book as we have in
the online course. But the book itself is about sixty
thousand words, which is it's dense. So that is really
just a it's an educator's tool to use in the
classroom on new strategies on how to use classroom management.
So the book is actually eased the pain, a guide
to safety and regulation in the classroom so educators can teach.
Speaker 1: Are you self publishing or going through a publisher? You know,
we have a few options.
Speaker 7: We do have a publisher, but we may end up
going the self publishing route because there's a few things
that I want to be able to do with the book.
Speaker 1: We may not be able to do with a publisher.
Speaker 7: So we're going to make that decision at the end
of November. We'll make that decision.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So the developing that course must have, that must
have been quite the undertaking.
Speaker 1: It was fun. Yeah.
Speaker 7: I mean I love to write curriculum, and I write
a lot of curriculum. I've written a lot of curriculum
for years and years for different organizations and for you know,
for different things that I train on and everything.
Speaker 1: So I love to write curriculums.
Speaker 7: So I basically just sat down and wrote it in
modules of everything people need to know for you know,
to address safety issues.
Speaker 1: You know, if your kids having a.
Speaker 7: Tantrum, what do you do, Well, here's how you determine
why they're having the tantrum.
Speaker 1: And they may not right off the bat, right.
Speaker 7: They're having the tantrum because I didn't give them a
candy bar and you know, or.
Speaker 1: Whatever it may be.
Speaker 7: But it talks about how to get them to a
point of safety. And then it has all the components
on regulation and in the online course, I mean, we
have tons of information on nutrition and on different things
that you can do as far as supplementation brain ish shoes.
A lot of people don't realize how many things impact
the brain and what's going on with those components. You know,
I'll meet a youth that's like really irritable and they'll
be like, no, you know, I don't like this certain kid.
And I'll say, oh, yeah, why, well, you know two
years ago on the bus.
Speaker 1: He tripped me and so on and.
Speaker 7: So forth, and I'm like, oh, yeah, you're operating in
the Olympic party your brain, kiddo.
Speaker 1: Okay, So here's what we need to do.
Speaker 7: You need more high intensity movement, you need to you know,
we need to really look at having more of a
higher protein diet, lower carbs, so we're gonna encourage you
to eat that when you're at school and those sorts
of things. But there's some very specific things you can
do to support the Olympic part of the brain. And
really what that means is the Olympics getting all the
blood flow. Nothing else is getting the blood flow. So
if you're asking a kid to learn, or even an
adult they if they want to learn something new, and
Olympics getting all the blood flow, you don't have anything
in your prefrontal cortex.
Speaker 1: You can't learn, you can't learn new content.
Speaker 7: So you've got to be able to get brain you know,
blood flow to that front part of the brain. And
there's some really simple, simple strategies to do that. And
one is you know, high high intensity movement and it
can be for just a couple of seconds, you know,
having them pick something up and putting it down a
few times before they you know, go into the activity
or something.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I remember you talking about that last time.
Speaker 2: And you know how you know, sometimes that physical activity,
a little bit of exercise can really help the brain.
It's as you know, as we talked about on your podcast.
I'm a hypnotherapist and something that I really tell all
my clients is, you know, if you because very often
someone might come to me because they want to stop smoking,
or they can't sleep at night or whatever it is,
and we always end up talking about their exercise regimen
and whether or not they have one, because the reality is,
if you're exercising, everything else will be better.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, everything else will be better.
Speaker 2: It's not just about how you feel physically, it's how
you feel emotionally and mentally, your your clarity and everything
it all relates and just that you know, even if
it's just walking a little bit each day, that will
make there's no way it makes anything worse.
Speaker 6: It'll just it'll make everything better.
Speaker 1: It's a huge that's the biggest thing.
Speaker 7: You push those large amino acids into the muscles and
you get that blood flow of the front of the brain.
Speaker 1: It makes a huge difference.
Speaker 7: My husband will be the first person to say that
if I don't exercise at during the day, I am
not fit for human consumption.
Speaker 1: Is mean.
Speaker 7: Yeah, so, you know, you make it part of the lifestyle.
But nowadays, because of the structure of households and stuff,
a lot of kids don't get a lot of physical
movement during the course of the day, right So, and
they're getting pee maybe once a week. I mean, there's
some school districts that have it more often, which is great,
But even at recess, kids aren't moving all that much.
Speaker 1: They're you know, they may go up and down the
slide a couple of times, but they're not breaking.
Speaker 7: A sweat always right right, So, and it's not consistent.
Speaker 6: So, yeah, any more of it.
Speaker 2: And you did talk to you spoke about nutrition and
how important that is for the French when you're in
these school systems. Do you see and this this isn't
something you probably address with the school system necessarily, I
wouldn't think, But do you see issues with what they're
serving for lunches in public schools as not being optimum?
Speaker 1: For for sure?
Speaker 7: I mean, the school districts are doing the best they can.
It's a program. So they're given the items that they're given,
and they you know, and they have to serve those
specific items.
Speaker 1: It's very regimented.
Speaker 7: But it is not a diet that is conducive to
good brain health, unfortunately. And there is a common factor
that all of my students pretty much I would say
ninety nine percent of my student's experience, and it is
that they eat a processed Western diet. And when we
have the opportunity, we've had the opportunity to change some
of our students' diets, and amazing things happen their verbal
abilities and improve.
Speaker 1: Their behavioral lists.
Speaker 7: You tend to really tend to decrease significant changes in
mental health. I mean, we see huge changes when we
can modify and work with their diets.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's not enough.
Speaker 7: I mean, you've got a diet is just one piece
of the puzzle and everything and it's hard. I mean,
like I'll be the first one to say that, you know,
I love I love having ice cream on Friday. I
was at a meeting yesterday and I had one of
the administrators in the school bought me a donut and
I was like, oh my god, this is the best
donut I've ever had. Shout out to Brothers Donuts in Franklin,
New Hampshire. I was like, this donut is amazing, and
I love sugar, but you know, I don't have it
on a daily basis.
Speaker 1: And it's you know, I mean, and.
Speaker 7: It's tough because there's so many of those things that
help us hit those dopamine receptors, but they don't help
us long term. Like they might help us in the
short term for a couple of minutes, but they're not
going to help us long term, especially not over the long.
Speaker 6: Haul, right right.
Speaker 2: People always talk too about and we hear this a
lot on the show whenever we discussed social media. I mean,
is it true that do you find that people's attention
spans just generally are much shorter than they used to be?
Speaker 7: Yes, for sure, And I mean you can see that
with social media and stuff too. I mean you know,
not that we've been doing social media stuff for very long.
I mean it's been pretty it's pretty short time span.
But even since we started stuff a couple of years ago,
we've had to shorten the length of time because we
don't get engagement if things are as long as they
were when we released them two three years ago.
Speaker 6: No kidding.
Speaker 2: Yeah, even you can see even over the past couple
of years, you can see that difference.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 6: That's amazing and disheartening. Yeah.
Speaker 7: You think about it, back when, like podcasts could be
an hour and people would listen to them, right, and
certain people will all listen to a podcast for an hour. Sure, yeah,
me too, me too, but younger people oftentimes won't.
Speaker 1: Twenty minutes is the max.
Speaker 7: I mean, right now, we're doing a video podcast series
all on our book, and it's twenty minutes max.
Speaker 1: Like they cut me at twenty minutes.
Speaker 6: Oh, no kidding, Yeah, yeah, yep, oh yeah, it's too bad.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm like, I had another good ud get, but
I'll just have to I'll just have to ask you
off off.
Speaker 2: Of right right, yeah, if you are just joining us.
Doctor Bethany Bilideo is here from the Behavior boot Camp
and somebody had a question. Oh, somebody in the chat
room made a comment about drinking water. That's probably another
thing too. I guess you could kind of sort of
file that under nutrition right now.
Speaker 7: It is, yeah, And I mean I've looked up a
lot of the stats on it. I've read a lot
a lot of journal articles on water, and it's it's
something like more than eighty five percent of the kids
that are diagnosed with ADHD are actually severely dehydrated.
Speaker 1: And real times interest.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and sometimes if you can increase their ability to
consume water, you see that their symptoms decrease significantly.
Speaker 2: Oh that's interesting, Yeah, that's interesting. Angela said in the
chat room. A lot of my students bring sugary snacks
to school, as they're only nutrition.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's unfortunate.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's some school districts that have great programs as
far as providing fruits and vegetables and things like that additionally,
so kids can have those at snacks, and those sorts
of times when when we work with those particular districts,
we're really pushing those pieces of it, you know, and saying, oh, yeah,
save that for later, save that for after school, and
that sort of thing because.
Speaker 1: You see it too.
Speaker 7: I mean, if you have something super sugary and then
they're going into a class, they're not going to be
able to be appropriately or even optimally to learn right right.
Speaker 2: I feel like we have a much much broader problem
in our culture too, with just I don't understand why.
You know, it's like you come into the world and
it seems like, right out of the gate, everybody around you,
like all these people who love you, your family and
everyone you know, they can't wait to just fill you
up with sugar and things that cause diabetes and junk food.
It's strange, you know. It's like, you know, you have
your first birthday and.
Speaker 6: Here here's cake.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's it's it's bizarre if you if
you really think about it logically, like why do we
do that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? A lot of our celebrations revolve around foods. Yeah,
stuff like that.
Speaker 6: We're all taught.
Speaker 2: We're taught from a very young age that all these
things that are so terrible for you eat this.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Well, you think back to antiquity, I mean, when people
were starving and in a state of starvation and going
days and days on time not able to find food.
Speaker 1: The quickest energy source with sugar. So anything with sugar.
Speaker 7: Sugar has become this you know, celebratory item because of that.
I think, you know, over time and and we still
view it that way.
Speaker 1: I mean, you have sugar, I.
Speaker 2: Like, right, yeah, it's uh yeah, it's frustrating. What's what's
what's the single biggest issue you see in schools? I
know it's kind of a broad question, but I mean,
is there is there something that really stands out that
that you see consistently in every school system you go into.
Speaker 7: So for me, because I'm called in because a student
is probably physically aggressive, so that's what I see, but
that's the reason I'm being asked to come in. So
I do a lot of Tier one, Tier two trainings,
and those are kids that are not aggressive but might
be refusing.
Speaker 1: I think the.
Speaker 7: Refusals are huge, refusing to participate or they're walking out.
Speaker 2: So kids who aren't violent, they're just they're just saying
I'm just not gonna Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm doing that for professional development wise.
Speaker 7: That's what I'm training on most of the time, because
usually if they have a kid who's physically aggressive, they're
referring them to an organization such as mine that specializes
in working with kids like that. And I'm not necessarily
training the school staff to deal with that. Sometimes i am,
because there aren't agencies of vail to deal with those
sorts of challenges. But it's probably the refusal and the
avoidance is the big one that that is getting reported,
and those are simple things to address. I mean typically,
right now, you think about from a learning perspective, how
do people learn nowadays?
Speaker 1: Well, we can learn through repetition. Most individuals hate that.
It sucks.
Speaker 7: We can learn through things that are super super engaging,
or we can learn through things that are new novel.
So the easiest way to engage, you know, students at
this point is really to either make it new, present
the materials so it's new, or make it super engaging.
Those two things. Because most kids won't do repetition. You
do still have some students that will engage in repetition.
But that's you think back to your own school experiences, it's.
Speaker 1: Probably a lot through repetition.
Speaker 7: I know mine was a lot through repetition, you know,
and I'd be writing it and be like a squirrel,
do do you know? Sort of So I had some
great teachers, but I was not a great student so
at all, and I think I'm in this field because
I feel for kids.
Speaker 1: I know it's tough.
Speaker 7: I you know, I knew every hiding place in my
elementary school. They'd say, you know, Bethany, you need to
go up to the library, the creepy library and work
up there. It was like one of those weird like
the ceilings were only like seven feet tall really, so
it was really it was a strange space. So they'd
be like, go upstairs and work, and I would just
hide under one of the water fountains or in one
of the cabinets going up.
Speaker 1: There or something.
Speaker 7: And then eventually I'd go back to class and they'd
be like, did you work up the Oh yeah, I
worked up.
Speaker 6: The right right. Oh wow, that's funny. How many.
Speaker 2: I know, we talked about this before and I was
surprised at how large the number was. But how many
school districts are you working with it at any given time?
Speaker 7: So we tend to focus on twelve in a year primarily,
but I personally work with about twenty to twenty five
during a school year. So my reach is a little
bit different because I do so much professional development and
I do I train about I do about one hundred
trainings a year. So I'm in a lot more schools
than my staff are in because they're in they're in
the same schools every day. Whereas I'm going in and
either doing professional development or I'm writing an assessment on
a student that's struggling or something like that, and then
or I'm doing a parent training and then I'm out
and I'm onto a different in a different school and
that sort of thing. So my time is very short. Okay, schools,
So and we rotate. We don't stay in the same
schools every year. Like we really look at it as
we need an exit plan. Once all of your tier
three students are at tier two, tier one, I mean
our goal is obviously to get them to Tier one.
Then we're out. You know, we look at other we
you know, we have a wait list and we move
on to the next school districts that need that support.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So while you're so you're going into the school, but
but you've got staff also going into the school.
Speaker 6: And so the staff great staff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they stay at that Yeah, they're there every
year for the process.
Speaker 1: They're there every day.
Speaker 7: And our staff work with anywhere from one to twelve
students in a day, and you know, and it's really
providing safety and regulation training and all of that so
that the students getting it and the staff are getting it,
so that they're learning those skills so that we can
then we have an exit plan and we are trying
to get out. So it used to take us one
to three years to get out of a school district.
We now can get out of a school in as
little as three to six months with the staff. So
and we go back to the school once all the
students have transitioned off. I had a one of my
amazing staff last year. She had her school. She got
all of her all of her students were Tier three.
She had nine students and she got seven of them
to Tier one and two of them were at Tier two.
We went back to the district in April and said,
you know, we should we need to pull her out,
like you don't need the level of support there anymore.
We can keep doing stuff, but you're better off putting
us in one of your other schools in the district
for the rest of the year to try to shore
up some of the other issues. Which works great, and
we're we're constantly on that, and we're taking data all
the time to see where we're at with that too.
Speaker 2: Do you ever go into a school or a school
district where you're kind of pleasantly surprised that things maybe
aren't that bad, like like often like this one's going
to be kind of easy.
Speaker 1: Often.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that must be nice when that happens.
Speaker 1: Great when it happens. Yeah, I mean, for me, the
best thing that happens is when I go in and they're.
Speaker 7: Like, tell me how else I can do this, give
me some other strategies for this, and they want to
learn because then I'm like, oh, I'm in and out fast,
you know, because they're going to pick up the strategies
and I can exit out. And a lot of times
they're dealing with it where they're texting me or emailing
me and saying.
Speaker 1: I tried this, I tried this, what else?
Speaker 7: And I'll say how about this, this and this and
and they're able to work on it in that way
when they're open to that.
Speaker 1: That's rate.
Speaker 7: When I have to spend a lot of time convincing
them that it's going to work, it takes more time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, obviously.
Speaker 6: Do you run into that a lot as well? Oh yeah,
I would imagine.
Speaker 8: Yeah, from the standpoint of those that are working with
the students, the teachers, the paris, one thing that I hear.
Speaker 7: Is exhaustion, exhaustion all around across the board, for everybody,
the parents, the kids, the staff.
Speaker 8: What kind of advice do you give people that are
dealing just in general to deal with that exhaustion or
to try and help them.
Speaker 7: I think the big thing around exhaustion is that, like,
we are working ourselves to a state of exhaustion a
lot of the time, so you know, implementing strategies that
are going to help significantly with that, making sure that
you're getting good quality sleep. But I really think it's
it's you know, giving yourself some downtime too, And a
lot of people don't. They're so overscheduled and it just happens.
It's part of your life and everything. So I have
one of my own personal children, like she signs itself
up for everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then my other child will be.
Speaker 7: Like, that's enough, I've got two nights of stuff. I
just want to be home and have my time. And
I'm like, you go, girl, Like she knows her boundaries
and she sets them and knows that it's too much,
where's my other one?
Speaker 1: Will?
Speaker 7: You know, over schedule and then she's you know, on
top of it and everything else. But I also make
them my own personal children. Like we've meditated since they
were My littlest I think was eighteen months when I
started meditating with her, and so we meditate every night
as a family.
Speaker 1: Wow, my husband sleeps during the meditation. Yeah, I'll sleep
every night during the meditation. But my girls meditate.
Speaker 7: We meditate every night, and that is part of what
my youngest daughter will tell you. That is the biggest
thing that has helped her with quality of sleep, that
has helped her with her anxiety, and has significantly helped
her when she starts to feel sad. Oh, So those
are huge, which you look at the research. I mean honestly,
the meditation it creates those hormones in the brain that
help to combat all of those pieces and everything, so
significantly helps with that. And we're very specific about what
we're meditating about, whether we're reviewing our day, whether we
are meditating because we want to think about something that
we feel happens and we're mentally rehearsing that scenario, whatever
it is. We're very specific about our meditations.
Speaker 8: Now, do you tell somebody that says, oh, I can't
meditate everybody, my brain doesn't stop.
Speaker 1: I feel your pain. If you know me that, I'm like, yeah, no,
I hear that. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Actually we talked about that when I was on your podcast,
because I hear that all the Timepista.
Speaker 7: Everybody, can you start with very small components of time?
Speaker 1: I have.
Speaker 7: Every one of my students tells me that when I
start with them, because we start with mindfulness and we
work up to meditation over time. We have to do
safety and regulation first, but we get to the meditation
and kids always students that have said I.
Speaker 1: Can't do this, this is stupid. I don't take it,
you know.
Speaker 7: And then a couple months later I'm in. They'll be like, doctor,
b are we going to meditate today? And I'm like, yep,
we are. So they get in, they get to that
and they'll say, oh, I really need to meditate today.
I have a math test and I've got to be
ready or I've got to, you know, get up in
front of the class and speak about this project that
I'm doing. I need to meditate, and I'll be like, okay,
let's do it, and they get themselves, you know, into
a point where they really look forward to it, and
they tell me also, that's one of the biggest things
that helps their quality of life.
Speaker 1: M hm, that's awesome.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, that's excellent. Uh Sarah, And the chat
room two was asking great question. Can you explain the
tears you mentioned like tier one tier two?
Speaker 1: Yeah, good question.
Speaker 7: So Tier one is really just a student who might
be just struggling a little bit in class, having some
trouble paying attention, maybe talking to their neighbor or blurting
things out, doing that sort of thing. A Tier two
kid is probably a student who's getting up and leaving class,
using a lot of bathroom breaks, maybe refusing to do
work in the classroom. Those sorts of things, isn't getting
isn't producing much academically, especially if they are not getting
one on one support.
Speaker 1: That's a tier two.
Speaker 7: Tier three is your student who's probably not in your
classroom a lot of the time. It might not be
in the classroom at all. Those are Tier three kids.
I tend to get Tier three kids if they are
physically aggressive. A Tier three kid who is not physically
aggressive more in shutdown mode and stuff. Sometimes I'll get
that student, especially if it's if the community around them
is really invested in getting them to a better point.
Speaker 1: But it really depends on the students.
Speaker 7: So the difference is that students who are physically aggressive
are obviously disruptive to the school community. Yeah, so that's
why we get called in so quickly versus the other population.
We work just as much with the other population, especially
with parents, but it's not as high a need because
it's not disrupting and not putting a risk to the
school community at as a whole.
Speaker 2: Do you have any advice for parents who are dealing
with this, not obviously not in the school, but parents
who are dealing with this at home physically aggressive kids.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and they don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Yeah.
Speaker 7: I mean some big things are you know, does the
kid feel safe? And do you feel safe? If you
don't feel safe, then you're not going to be able
to convey safety to the other person. The stance of safety.
I talk about that all the time. There's a certain
way to stand. Your feet are about shoulder with apart,
your hands are in front of your thumbs are up,
because that conveys confidence to the other person nonverbally.
Speaker 1: Even though they don't realize that your elbows are.
Speaker 7: Slightly out but not You're not in an arms of
Kimbo sort of stance because you're not trying to convey authority.
You're trying to convey safety. So there is a slight
differentiation with that. You're tilting your head slightly to the left,
and the reason why is that conveys empathy in lifting
the chin a little bit, because that also conveys that
you're paying attention, that you're intentionally attuned.
Speaker 1: So the stance of safety huge.
Speaker 7: Usually if I just move into that stance when I
have a youth that is, you know, really agitated and
could be physically agitated destroying property or whatever, they start
to calm down and they end up usually moving into crying.
If you're a parent and you're home with your kid
oftentime and your kid is getting physically aggressive, oftentimes one
remove the trigger. So if the trigger is I want
that candy bar. I want that candy bar, and you
said no, and the candy bar is still on the counter,
you got to get whatever the trigger is. Same thing
I want my phone, I want my phone and the
phone is still sitting on the counter.
Speaker 1: Or I want my Xbox.
Speaker 7: Block it, either physically stand in front of it so
that they can't see it, or put it away, because
anytime they see that item, it's gonna they're going to
trigger again.
Speaker 1: It's just going to re escalate the person over again.
Speaker 7: So get rid of it, you know, provide some sort
of simple distraction once they start to come down a
little bit, but you've got to give them a moment
to come down. If you know your child is not
going to be physically aggressive towards you, oftentimes a hug
will bring them out of it because that calms.
Speaker 1: The olympic system.
Speaker 7: So if you're at home, A lot of schools are
non huggers, so I wouldn't say to do that at school.
But if you're at home, grab your kid and hug them,
or say do you need a hug? Do you just
need a hug right now? And you know, pull them
in and give them a hug. And usually then you
can say, hey, you know, let's let's go do something,
distract them for a minute, and then say what are
some solutions, what are some things we can do differently
and move them forward from that.
Speaker 1: Water is also a great remedy for this.
Speaker 6: Oh I remember you talking about this.
Speaker 7: Get them at the tub, get them in the shower,
you know, if they're open to that. You know, water
will help to de escalate them for sure as far
as that stuff goes. So get them, you know, involved
in water somehow you can get them to do that.
Speaker 1: But comfort items work really well too.
Speaker 7: If you can't get them into a shower, get a
blanket and put it over them or something like that.
Or help them get to a smaller, more confined space.
If they're standing in the living room and that's your
biggest room of the house, they're going to keep screaming
and yelling and having big motions because the space is big.
Speaker 1: Their body has to fill the space.
Speaker 6: That makes sense, Okay.
Speaker 7: Get them into the kitchen, in the bathroom, wherever. Get
them into a smaller space. That will help significantly.
Speaker 1: Okay, So the.
Speaker 7: More you can shrink the space and more safe they're
going to feel. Yeah, you know, at schools, I'll often
be like I'll say to the kid, I'll like, just
point under the table, you know, and they'll just move
under the table, and then I'll hand them a blanket.
And then after a few minutes, I'll say, you ready
to come out, and we'll do a focus activity and
then I get them back onto the academics and the
same thing works really well at home. Like I'll you know,
you can say to them, you know, you want to go,
you know, into a cabinet or something like that. Like
all kids love that secret room, right concept, I want to.
Speaker 1: Build a secret room.
Speaker 7: You'll just be like, open the cabinet, pull out the
you know, pull out your dishes and stuff for a second,
be like, won't you go in there for a moment,
you know, and they'll feel, they'll regroup, and then they
come out and.
Speaker 1: Then you can do some processing with them. It's really good.
Speaker 7: You need to do processing with them so that you
can talk about what they can do better the next time,
because you certainly don't want a twenty five year old
crawling into a cabinet when they get upset, right, Not
that that would I haven't heard any stories of that happening.
Speaker 2: But yeah, we don't even like it when our cats
crawl into our cabinets.
Speaker 6: But maybe that's why they, you know, because they like.
Speaker 1: They like faces.
Speaker 7: This is the same reason why dogs like small confined
spaces everything too. I mean, it's you know, I have
a lot of kids who will go into their beds
when they don't feel safe, they go under their beds.
Speaker 1: You know that.
Speaker 7: And I'll tell parents make it as a safe place.
If they're feeling stressed or you can see that they're
starting to get agitated, say hey, why don't you go
lan under your bed for a little bit. Here's some
here's some coloring, or here's some this to do. Teens
do it with clothing typically, so if they're getting stressed
and they're starting to get agitated with you, handam a sweatshirt.
Speaker 1: Okay, so they put the hood up, yeah yeah.
Speaker 7: Or Hannama winter hat so you can put the hat
on something like that. You know, that's why people love
to wear hats. It feel safer, get them on and everything.
It helps to stimulate that vagus nerve and also helps
to feel more confined, so they feel a little bit safer.
Speaker 1: Everything that makes sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, doctor B. The time goes so quickly. We're
already we're already approaching the top of the hour. So
I want to make sure before we run out of
time that our listeners know how to reach you, how
to learn more about the behavior boot camp and the
podcast of course, and anything else you want to make
sure everybody knows about.
Speaker 7: Yeah, so the easiest way to get a hold of
us is going to Wwwthbehavior boot camp dot COM's and
we're also on the social media platforms under that name
is Well and Everything we'd love to see. We hold
the free webinar every Thursday, and usually one of our staff,
one of our Behaviors actually manset. So if you're having
challenges at home, if you're having challenges at school, whatever
it may be, feel free to go onto our website,
sign up for that webinar and jump on and beaviists
will help get you through some of those things, and
they'll also give you some strategies so they have a
planned content for that time. But that's really for people
who are struggling with certain scenarios that need to work
through things.
Speaker 6: Excellent, excellent.
Speaker 2: By the way, I do want to read this comment
to Angela posted I've learned through Behavior boot Camp how
body stance it's so important. Had no idea how much
body language can speak so much louder than words.
Speaker 1: Oh thank you so much, Angelo, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely absolutely thank you for that, Angela.
Speaker 6: Very good well, doctor b.
Speaker 1: It's always a pleasure, it's always great to be here.
Thanks so much for having me you guys, it's good
to see you both.
Speaker 6: We really appreciate you.
Speaker 2: And uh, Jenny before we go too, you want to
plug your website and.
Speaker 6: Remind everybody of what you're doing.
Speaker 7: Yeah, coming with Yeah, shout out, shout out much.
Speaker 8: You can go to coffee dot com, j E N
N C O F f EI dot com. Check out
on my artwork, keep up with my activism.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 8: Looking forward to writing up what it was like going
to the White House to speak next week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, big things, big things coming.
Speaker 8: Don't forget to check out the Mosaic Art Collective right
here in the Queens City where I'm proud to have
one of my pieces on display right now, and it's
not too late. I think today's the leadline deadline to
get in for the Spellbuying spell Bound Art show next
month at the Mosaic Art Collective.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, absolutely, Uh, doctor b thank you again, and
of course thank you to Jam Tomorrow for joining us
in the second hour. And of course we had Adam
from Everfelt. Oh, I'm sorry we had Jam Tomorrow in
the first hour. Adam in the second hour from ever Felt.
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, and.
Speaker 2: We will leave you with as promised, So I'm going
to play the entire song because I love it so much.
Falling into place by jam tomorrow, and if you misten
any part of today's show, it will be up in
just a little bit at wmnhradio dot org at my
website Matt Connorton dot com, and we'll.
Speaker 6: Talk to you all a little bit later.
Speaker 9: By everybody, bye bye.
Speaker 10: And I feel like things are falling into place, and
I feel like it's the end of the Red Queen's races,
and I feel like the stars.
Speaker 11: Are gunna change because I feel like this was all just.
Speaker 5: Rearray. As we move from hugs.
Speaker 10: And hands shakes, we must remember how our souls as
we move from confidant to confidet, we must remember how
our souls pay re But I feel like things are
falling its legs and I feel like it's the end
of the Red Queen's Reggae, and A feel like the
storms are gonna shage because I feel like this was
all just.
Speaker 5: Rear ray.
Speaker 10: And people take too much pride. It's the way they
picked their side.
Speaker 5: Split up. Its to them and us.
Speaker 10: Aside seating on the bars on the bus.
Speaker 5: But I feel like things are falling its place, and
I fee like it's the end of the Red Queen's.
Speaker 10: Raiders, and I feel like the stars, like the stars.
Speaker 5: A gout of shade, because I feel like this was
all Jack wearing.
Speaker 10: As our lives get along, separated.
Speaker 5: Well we wish they weren't so as things get.
Speaker 12: More complicated, well we wish we could just know, just know.
But I feel like things are falling into please and
I feel like it's the.
Speaker 5: End of the Red Queen's Reggie.
Speaker 10: And A feel like the stars are gonna change.
Speaker 5: Because I feel like this was all.
Speaker 10: Just preer Range, and I feel like things aren't falling
its places, and I like it's the end of the
Red Queen's Rage. And I feel like the stars, like
the stars are gonna change because I feel like this
was all.
Speaker 5: Just preer Range, I.
Speaker 10: Said, I feel like this was Ullus freer Range.
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