Speaker 1: And energy, cancel, higg cancelge it not sorry, andenogy.
Speaker 2: What's up? Positive bitches, how are we doing today? If
Speaker 2: you're hearing this episode, then you are meant to be here,
Speaker 2: So keep listening all that Bitch is Positive podcast. Sometimes
Speaker 2: we will laugh. Other times, baby Girl, We're gonna cry,
Speaker 2: but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered,
Speaker 2: positive bitch self that is Babe in true connection with herself.
Speaker 2: On this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so
Speaker 2: we can fully step into exactly who we came here
Speaker 2: to be. Now, we as humans do something very very interesting.
Speaker 2: We are born with a whole switchboard of traits, so
Speaker 2: many different energies and aspects of ourselves that we can
Speaker 2: tap into. Yet we only turn on the traits that
Speaker 2: will guarantee us love and connection, and even negative attention
Speaker 2: is still connection. Keep that in mind as we are
Speaker 2: growing up. If we learn that being the good girl
Speaker 2: is what gets us loving connection from our parent, from
Speaker 2: our caregiver, from our peers, well that's what we're gonna do.
Speaker 2: If we learn that being the class clown is going
Speaker 2: to get us attention and affection, that is who we
Speaker 2: will become. We decide as human beings, what traits we're
Speaker 2: gonna turn on, and what traits we should disown within ourselves.
Speaker 2: We decide what part of me will get connection, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do that. What part of me isn't getting
Speaker 2: connection or causing confrontation. I'm gonna shut those parts down.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna reject those parts of myself. I'm going to
Speaker 2: disown them. And that is how we create a shadow.
Speaker 2: What we're talking about today is reactivating, embodying, stepping back
Speaker 2: into that queen energy. And the reason I started off
Speaker 2: this podcast talking about traits we prioritize versus traits we
Speaker 2: reject is to remind you that becoming this queen self
Speaker 2: is not about stepping away from who you are. It's
Speaker 2: about activating that energy that's already within you. But if
Speaker 2: you learned that being in your power wasn't safe, if
Speaker 2: you learn that being in your power got you ostracized
Speaker 2: or kicked out of the peer group, then you also
Speaker 2: learned not to embody that power. Today, we're reminding ourselves
Speaker 2: that it is our divine right to be an autonomous, powerful,
Speaker 2: multi dimensional being. And there's a lot of people who
Speaker 2: talk about princess treatment and I did a whole entire
Speaker 2: podcast on princess treatment versus queen treatment. I think you
Speaker 2: know what I would recommend. I'll link that in the
Speaker 2: show notes. But today we're really talking about not just
Speaker 2: how to get queen treatment, but how to embody the
Speaker 2: queen within so you can get everything and anything that
Speaker 2: you truly desire as positive bitches. What do we do?
Speaker 2: We don't get mad, We get everything before we get
Speaker 2: into today's episode and talk about how to tap into
Speaker 2: this queen energy. Within a couple of announcements, if you've
Speaker 2: not yet gotten my book Show Up as Her, be
Speaker 2: sure to get your copy. We do talk about the
Speaker 2: topics that I speak about in this book frequently on
Speaker 2: this podcast, and we are going to once again today.
Speaker 2: And if you're not yet following me on Instagram at
Speaker 2: vibe in with CC again in the show notes, be
Speaker 2: sure to follow me there for daily tips and tricks
Speaker 2: on how to embody your most magnetic energy. If you've
Speaker 2: not yet listen into my last single Pudding, it will
Speaker 2: help you put yourself back on the pedestal remember who
Speaker 2: you are, which we all need to do. Hello, yep, yep,
Speaker 2: yep yep, And I have some good news. I am
Speaker 2: opening up some more slots this coming September, October November
Speaker 2: December for new clients. I am a certified life and
Speaker 2: energy coach and I do offer one on one coaching.
Speaker 2: If you're interested in a session or a package with me,
Speaker 2: you can DM me on Instagram and we can talk
Speaker 2: more there. I offer so many different services from attachment
Speaker 2: system healing, to self concept work, to inner child work,
Speaker 2: shadow work, and so much more. But without further ado,
Speaker 2: let's get into today's episode now. When I think about
Speaker 2: a queen versus a princess, I feel more resonant with
Speaker 2: a queen. When you think about a princess, she might
Speaker 2: be royalty, but she has to live under another's law.
Speaker 2: She has to live under the king. He has to
Speaker 2: live under whatever ruling is at that time. She's a princess.
Speaker 2: I always think about like a damsel in distress when
Speaker 2: I think of princess. And when I think of queen,
Speaker 2: not only do you get all the things that a
Speaker 2: princess gets, but you also get power to rule over yourself.
Speaker 2: You get autonomy. Think about a queen versus a princess.
Speaker 2: Can't you feel the energetic difference there? Can't you feel
Speaker 2: that when a queen walks into a room, everyone is
Speaker 2: standing up the second she walks into that room. Versus
Speaker 2: a princess, everyone's like, oh, little princess. But a queen
Speaker 2: gets a different level of respect. A queen makes the rules.
Speaker 2: A princess someone else is making the rule. Let's think
Speaker 2: more about this queen archetype here. I recently have started
Speaker 2: watching the show Show the Great, which is based on
Speaker 2: Catherine the Great. I shouldn't say based on it's a
Speaker 2: story about Katherine the Great, but it's really mostly made up. However,
Speaker 2: it is reminding me so much of my own power.
Speaker 2: An amazing way to tap into the queen archetype is
Speaker 2: to watch a show or a movie about a queen,
Speaker 2: because in this show or movie, you're going to pick
Speaker 2: up on these minute things that she does, how she walks,
Speaker 2: how she talks, how other people respond to her, and
Speaker 2: it's gonna inspire that queen's self to get activated within.
Speaker 2: You can think of someone you deem like the queen archetype,
Speaker 2: like Nancy Reagan, someone who loves tradition, thrives in leadership roles,
Speaker 2: knows what she wants in her worth. I always think
Speaker 2: of Audrey Heppern. That's very much a queen energy who
Speaker 2: was amazing at her art, but also someone who did
Speaker 2: a bunch of things for UNICEF and charity and very classic, classic, classic.
Speaker 2: A princess is someone who, yes, has this royalty, but
Speaker 2: she doesn't have the wisdom. She doesn't have the ability
Speaker 2: to rule over oneself. She doesn't have that same power.
Speaker 2: So you can think about someone who you think is
Speaker 2: a queen, like a Nancy Reagan, like an Audrey Hepburn,
Speaker 2: or you can literally watch even a mythical show, any
Speaker 2: sort of scripted series about a queen, and it's going
Speaker 2: to help you to start to understand how a queen walks, talks, acts, feels.
Speaker 2: Something that allows me to get into my queen energy
Speaker 2: is a spark word. What is a spark word? I
Speaker 2: use certain words to turn on energies with in me.
Speaker 2: And this is something I've done for a really long time.
Speaker 2: I've not necessarily heard someone talk about this, but it's
Speaker 2: just something I've always done naturally, and I'm calling it
Speaker 2: spark words. Okay, when I'm in yoga and I'm trying
Speaker 2: to hold a pose, I will say to myself the
Speaker 2: word stoic, and this word. Not only when I say it,
Speaker 2: do I hear it? But I also picture like a rock.
Speaker 2: And when I say stoic to myself, it immediately activates
Speaker 2: this energy that allows me to stand firm, still, straight
Speaker 2: and completely embody whatever pose I'm aiming for. When I
Speaker 2: need to get back into my queen energy, because maybe
Speaker 2: I acted in a way that was a little prince
Speaker 2: to see a little beggy, a little nonchalant, and I'm like, no,
Speaker 2: I need to remember my power. The word I say
Speaker 2: to myself is Russia. Russia, and I immediately and it
Speaker 2: immediately activates this queen energy within me. I think about
Speaker 2: the show The Great and every time this is why
Speaker 2: a show is so helpful. Every time Elizabeth is about
Speaker 2: to act in a way that is going to possibly
Speaker 2: derail her from her destiny, every time she's going to
Speaker 2: choose something that is not for her highest good, she goes, no, No,
Speaker 2: this is for Russia. I must act in alignment with
Speaker 2: my destiny because my destiny is Russia, and this is
Speaker 2: for Russia. So I've taken that word because I've heard
Speaker 2: her say it so many times, and I told myself,
Speaker 2: any time I'm about to fall into old patterns, I'm
Speaker 2: about to become the chaser. I'm about to act in
Speaker 2: accordance with people pleasing rather than my queen self. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna say the word Russia, and it immediately takes me
Speaker 2: out of that energy because it's a reminder. It's like
Speaker 2: an alarm clock when you wake up and you're like, yah,
Speaker 2: Russia is my alarm clock to remember my queen self.
Speaker 2: So what are we doing so far? We're priming ourself.
Speaker 2: We're either watching a queen or thinking about a queen
Speaker 2: a Nancy Reagan, and then we're using a spark word
Speaker 2: to remind ourselves in the moment to embody these traits.
Speaker 2: And if you don't really know how your queen's self
Speaker 2: would act, use the show or the person as inspiration.
Speaker 2: Would Nancy Reagan do that? I don't think so. Would
Speaker 2: Elizabeth the Great do that? I don't think so. I
Speaker 2: am on season three of the show now, and I
Speaker 2: know Elizabeth only does what's for Russia. She does what
Speaker 2: is for her destiny. She places her destiny above all,
Speaker 2: and isn't that what a queen does. She chooses responsibility,
Speaker 2: she chooses her empire, she chooses her destiny, not the
Speaker 2: rusty dusty freaks of the world. No, she chooses her destiny,
Speaker 2: and as a princess, I feel like sleeping beauty. We're
Speaker 2: waiting for our prince. We're waiting for our night in
Speaker 2: shining armor. We're waiting, We're waiting. We're waiting. We're waiting.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I cannot. We have a whole life
Speaker 2: to live. A queen does not wait around for some
Speaker 2: squirmy worm to come in and save her. A queen
Speaker 2: is like, I have responsibility, I have duties here. I
Speaker 2: have a whole kingdom to run. Your kingdom is your destiny.
Speaker 2: You are the queen, the empress of your life. Your
Speaker 2: destiny is your kingdom. And every time you want to
Speaker 2: slip into a chasing energy, you want to go after
Speaker 2: something that's not meant for you, you need a spark word
Speaker 2: that reminds you, wait a second, I am not going
Speaker 2: to allow this thing to derail me from my destiny. Russia.
Speaker 2: I literally say Russia to myself like fifteen times a
Speaker 2: day to consistently repeatedly remind myself of why I was
Speaker 2: put on this planet in the first place. There are
Speaker 2: going to be distractions sent into your life. There are
Speaker 2: going to be people. There is going to be chaos,
Speaker 2: there's going to be confusion. A princess allows those distractions
Speaker 2: to eat away at her. She allows those distractions to
Speaker 2: get their claws into her. A queen says for Russia
Speaker 2: and refocuses on her self. Your destiny should be the
Speaker 2: utmost importance for you, because that's what you came here for. Everything,
Speaker 2: everything you're doing, every heartbreak, every door shut, every moment
Speaker 2: that you fell to your knees because of the immense
Speaker 2: trauma and pain that you've gone through, none of this
Speaker 2: matters as much as a destiny that is waiting to
Speaker 2: welcome you home. The fulfillment, the joy, the hard expansion
Speaker 2: you will get from your destiny is incomparable to the
Speaker 2: pain you have felt in your life. And a queen
Speaker 2: understands this. A queen doesn't fall prey to lower vibrational circumstance.
Speaker 2: She doesn't let lower vibrational circumstance eat away at her,
Speaker 2: steal her vibration, steal her joy, steal her happiness. She
Speaker 2: sees it, and then she raises the situation to see
Speaker 2: it a little bit better. What I mean by this
Speaker 2: is when something you perceive is going wrong in your
Speaker 2: life instead of allowing it to crush you like a princess.
Speaker 2: May you're going to see it as a queen. You're
Speaker 2: going to see the situation, and then you're going to say,
Speaker 2: what am I learning from this? How can I use
Speaker 2: this as fuel? How am I going to use this
Speaker 2: seat closer to my destiny? Every circumstance can be medicine.
Speaker 2: Every circumstance can be energy if you transmute it and
Speaker 2: you stop asking why is this happening to me and
Speaker 2: instead ask what can I do with this to get
Speaker 2: closer to my destiny, to maintain a stable vibration, to
Speaker 2: get back into my body. Let's not forget self focus
Speaker 2: is of the divine feminine energy. Focusing on the other
Speaker 2: is divine masculine, because the divine masculine energy is the giver,
Speaker 2: the divine feminine is the RECEI. A princess oftentimes is
Speaker 2: focused on when am I going to be saved? What
Speaker 2: rule do I have to follow? A princess is very
Speaker 2: much focused on someone outside of her and having to
Speaker 2: live in accordance to them. But a queen has self focus.
Speaker 2: Oh he's not texting me, well, I have to read
Speaker 2: this book anyway? Oh? He hasn't called me, well, I'm
Speaker 2: signing up for this energy class. Oh that didn't work out,
Speaker 2: or they ghosted, or this or that. A princess will
Speaker 2: get lost in the sauce. A queen says, I have
Speaker 2: self focus. There are things in my life that I
Speaker 2: am building. And if you don't have things in your
Speaker 2: life that you are building. Mmmm, my baby girl, My
Speaker 2: baby girlma, baby girl, what are we doing? You can
Speaker 2: start by reading show up as her. That's a step
Speaker 2: you can take in the right direction. What can you
Speaker 2: build up in your kingdom? Your health, your wealth, your friendships,
Speaker 2: your creativity, signing up for a cooking class. I'm literally
Speaker 2: going to a cooking class today. There are things that
Speaker 2: want your focus, and then there are things that need
Speaker 2: your focus. The thing that needs your focus is yourself.
Speaker 2: You need your focus the most. Yeah, because when you
Speaker 2: focus on you, not only are you embodying queen energy,
Speaker 2: but you're feeding yourself your own energy, which means that
Speaker 2: is sole care. We talk about self care put a
Speaker 2: face mask on. Care is feeding yourself your own energy,
Speaker 2: existing in your own body. A princess feels very much
Speaker 2: like up in my head because I have to ask
Speaker 2: for permission. But a queen is embodied in her literal
Speaker 2: physical vessel because she's the one making the rules. It's
Speaker 2: a different energy, Okay, your incarnation, your perception, your awareness,
Speaker 2: that is what needs your attention. Where attention goes, energy flows.
Speaker 2: So when your attention is here, you're feeding yourself your
Speaker 2: own energy. When your attention is out there, you're feeding
Speaker 2: other people your energy. And you need to remember the
Speaker 2: greatest return on investment you can get is when you
Speaker 2: give yourself your own energy. If you're not grasping the
Speaker 2: difference energy wise of the princess versus the queen. Think
Speaker 2: of Princess Diana versus the queen, who had more power there?
Speaker 2: I mean, it's like pretty obvious who's making the rules
Speaker 2: and who feels caged by them. Yeah, a queen understands
Speaker 2: her value. A princess shrinks herself to fit into the
Speaker 2: confinements of whatever rules are present at that time. And
Speaker 2: I want to take us to page one sixty two,
Speaker 2: the famous bag in my book Show Up as Her.
Speaker 2: My mam always used to tell me a story about
Speaker 2: a famous bag. She told me there was a bag
Speaker 2: everyone wanted, the rich, the poor, the religious, the non religious,
Speaker 2: all cultures, all races, all people from all over the world.
Speaker 2: It was not the most expensive bag, It was not
Speaker 2: the most beautiful, It was not the most creative. Do
Speaker 2: you know why everyone wanted the bag? I said, no,
Speaker 2: Why she said, because not everyone could have it was
Speaker 2: a limited addition. While we are all created equal, our
Speaker 2: worth isn't always perceived as equal based on how much
Speaker 2: energy we give out to others. That bag was no
Speaker 2: better than any other bag. However, people still perceived it
Speaker 2: on a pedestal because not everyone could have it. When
Speaker 2: we rest into our divine feminine knowing that we are
Speaker 2: a limited addition because by the way you are literally
Speaker 2: no one else has your DNA, no one else has
Speaker 2: your exact energy. When we realize we are this limited edition,
Speaker 2: we are perceived as higher in value. When you're giving
Speaker 2: out your energy to everyone, everyone, everyone, trying to appease
Speaker 2: everyone like a princess. Oftentimes does people perceive you at
Speaker 2: a lower level, not because you're less worthy, but because
Speaker 2: of how you're using and broadcasting your energy. When we
Speaker 2: give over our body, presence or energy, perceive us as
Speaker 2: less worthy, even if that's not true. When people perceive
Speaker 2: us as less worthy, they really are only mirroring back
Speaker 2: to us our own beliefs about ourselves. Positive bitch tip.
Speaker 2: We tend to overgive when we think who we already
Speaker 2: are is not enough. If we think we aren't good enough,
Speaker 2: others will pick up on this perception and may believe
Speaker 2: it too. When we realize we are a limited edition
Speaker 2: that literally no one else has our exact, unique energetic signature,
Speaker 2: other people will pick up on this perception and they
Speaker 2: will believe it too. A queen understands her role, She
Speaker 2: understands her responsibility. She understands how worthy she is. And
Speaker 2: that's why when she walks into a room, she's walking
Speaker 2: in like God him self. Center. Her head is up,
Speaker 2: her shoulders are back, and oftentimes royalty queenan's kings they
Speaker 2: believed they were divinely chosen. A queen believe she has
Speaker 2: her role because she was divinely chosen by God. She
Speaker 2: believes she's in this royal position because she was chosen
Speaker 2: by God. When are you going to realize that the
Speaker 2: same God that made the mountains and the moon and
Speaker 2: the ocean also made you? When are you going? And
Speaker 2: I just saw three three three you were divinely supported
Speaker 2: on this journey. When are you going to realize that
Speaker 2: your position, your personality, you were divinely chosen to be
Speaker 2: here during this time, just like a king or a
Speaker 2: queen is chosen terrain. A princess doesn't have that belief.
Speaker 2: She's like, oh, I guess I was just born into this,
Speaker 2: But a queen believes it's her destiny. She was chosen.
Speaker 2: A queen walks around on this planet knowing that where
Speaker 2: she is going is so much more important than where
Speaker 2: she's been. She walks away knowing that God anointed her
Speaker 2: for all the things that she wants. When she thinks
Speaker 2: about the people, the places, the opportunities that she so desires,
Speaker 2: she's not thinking like a princess, Oh, I hope it
Speaker 2: comes and saves me. I hope it comes in. I
Speaker 2: hope someone will allow me to do this. She's not
Speaker 2: worried about permission. She knows this is destined by God.
Speaker 2: And that's why a queen is truly a master manifestor,
Speaker 2: because she understands that the things that she is seeking
Speaker 2: are also seeking her. She understands they're divinely anointed for her.
Speaker 2: She understands that she not only has responsibility, she has power, power,
Speaker 2: and that's a huge difference between how a queen shows
Speaker 2: up versus a princess. I want to get into some
Speaker 2: of the questions that I've been receiving. If you want
Speaker 2: to have a question answered on this podcast, then you
Speaker 2: can dm at that bitch is positive on Instagram. Let's
Speaker 2: get into some of these, Hi CC, can you do
Speaker 2: an episode one day on the benefits of going no
Speaker 2: contact and whether or not one should hold onto hope
Speaker 2: and getting back with their ex someone down somewhere down
Speaker 2: the line, and maybe how a girl would even get
Speaker 2: back together with someone who broke their heart. Okay, so
Speaker 2: what are the benefits of going no contact? I'm gonna
Speaker 2: tell you A princess would try not to go no
Speaker 2: contact because she's putting her perception, her awareness, her attention
Speaker 2: on that other person. And a princess is waiting, waiting, waiting.
Speaker 2: When is he gonna save me? When is he coming back?
Speaker 2: I just punched my microphone? When is he coming back?
Speaker 2: A queen says, absolutely not. You couldn't see my worth,
Speaker 2: you couldn't understand my value. Get out of here. I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna say what a queen would do, but probably
Speaker 2: exile that dude. You know what I mean, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. So a queen chooses no contact, and
Speaker 2: what are the benefits of this, So she can focus
Speaker 2: on herself, so she can remember Russia, self focus, self awareness,
Speaker 2: and she can build her empire. Trust me, I wanted
Speaker 2: to be a princess so badly, but then I realize
Speaker 2: there's something so much better, which is being a queen,
Speaker 2: which is having the empire, making your own rules and
Speaker 2: getting everything you want. Whereas a princess has this sort
Speaker 2: of waiting, longing yearning, a queen doesn't do anything like that.
Speaker 2: She snaps her fingers and gets what she wants. Going
Speaker 2: no contact is so beneficial for woman. I know it's
Speaker 2: so hard in the beginning because all you want to
Speaker 2: do is run to the person who severely hurt you,
Speaker 2: and you want the person who hurt you to comfort you.
Speaker 2: They can't. We can't look for healing in the places
Speaker 2: that severely hurt us. What happens after a breakup is
Speaker 2: a male brain is better at compartimentalizing information because they
Speaker 2: process information in localized areas, which means one area of
Speaker 2: the brain at a time, whereas women were much better
Speaker 2: at processing information on both the right and left hemisphere. Simultaneously.
Speaker 2: So when we go through a breakup, we're thinking about
Speaker 2: our past, we're thinking about the present, and we're also
Speaker 2: thinking about the future that we built up in our head.
Speaker 2: And not only are we mourning our past, but we're
Speaker 2: mourning the future we thought we're going to have. So
Speaker 2: we really are having all these stories that we told
Speaker 2: ourselves come crashing down. And it's hard to distract ourselves
Speaker 2: because our brain is going back and forth, back and forth,
Speaker 2: back and forth. Whereas a man can just put something
Speaker 2: in front of him and it's easier for him to
Speaker 2: distract himself, and it might be easier for him to
Speaker 2: go no contact at first, But let me tell you,
Speaker 2: as that distraction wanes and he has to come to
Speaker 2: the realization that he actually has to heal and he
Speaker 2: has to go below the surface, later on, it will
Speaker 2: be more difficult for him. And that's usually when they
Speaker 2: come back. We as women, because we're dealing with so
Speaker 2: much pain at the forefront, we choose healings sooner where
Speaker 2: they choose the distraction. But that only helps us win
Speaker 2: in the end, and honestly, the time many of them
Speaker 2: come back, we don't even want them anyway. However, everyone's
Speaker 2: journey is different. A queen understands that again, her kingdom,
Speaker 2: her destiny, that's her responsibility, and she has self focus.
Speaker 2: The second part of this question was how would we
Speaker 2: even get back together with someone who broke their heart?
Speaker 2: I mean, that's not a that's not a question you
Speaker 2: want to ask yourself right now because that's not where
Speaker 2: you are. What you need to focus on right now
Speaker 2: is you getting back into yourself. Don't get under someone new,
Speaker 2: get into yourself. What you need to focus on right
Speaker 2: now is that queen energy of self fulfillment. When you
Speaker 2: create a life that feels good to you, you're not
Speaker 2: concerned like a princess is waiting waiting, waiting on someone else.
Speaker 2: Instead of worrying how am I going to accept them
Speaker 2: back when they come, refocus on what do I want
Speaker 2: more of in my life? More experiences with female friendships,
Speaker 2: more experiences with my career, health, wealth, whatever it is,
Speaker 2: and focus there instead, because that's what a queen would do. Ooh,
Speaker 2: another question. My boyfriend broke up with me four days
Speaker 2: ago because he said he fell out of love with me.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. But when I asked if he thinks
Speaker 2: there's a possibility of things changing and us getting back together. Okay,
Speaker 2: that's what a princess would do. A queen would say,
Speaker 2: thank you so much for your service. I must be
Speaker 2: on my way now. He said he can see a
Speaker 2: possibility of time healing and us potentially rekindling. He also
Speaker 2: said that he doesn't want to give me false hope. Okay,
Speaker 2: at least you know. I guess that's honest. I think
Speaker 2: it was an impulsive decision for him to dump me.
Speaker 2: Does not matter. It does not matter why, it matters.
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: So A queen understands, Okay, put it this way. A
Speaker 2: princess would be like, I think it was impulsive. I
Speaker 2: think he's going through this. I think he's going through that. No,
Speaker 2: you're not his rehabilitation center. The queen doesn't ask why
Speaker 2: what's wrong with him? A queen says, Okay, you don't
Speaker 2: want me. Guess what I feel that that is such
Speaker 2: a turnoff that you don't want me. How could you
Speaker 2: not understand what's in front of you. That is such
Speaker 2: a turnoff that I don't want you either. That's how
Speaker 2: a queen operates. He made his decision. I'm just left
Speaker 2: with the repercussions and pain and confusion. About what to do.
Speaker 2: He was my first love. Would you say going no
Speaker 2: contact is the best route to healing and clarity? Again,
Speaker 2: I didn't even realize that was a no contact question. Yes,
Speaker 2: go no contact. So for me, I was in a
Speaker 2: relationship for seven years and we broke up. I believe
Speaker 2: it was April, and we at first were in a
Speaker 2: little bit of contact. I had my book come out,
Speaker 2: so he would wish me, like good luck on my book.
Speaker 2: He was getting a new job, so I was like
Speaker 2: good luck on that, and that was fine, and then
Speaker 2: we've been no contact since. And I think that going
Speaker 2: no contact really allows you to refocus on you the most.
Speaker 2: It hurts in a lot of ways, and it's sucky
Speaker 2: at the beginning, but if you keep allowing someone to
Speaker 2: contact you and you keep replugging into their energy, it
Speaker 2: almost feels like they can pull on you. And then
Speaker 2: your energy is going towards your ex and you're trying
Speaker 2: to start something new with someone else, but you keep
Speaker 2: thinking of your ex because tomorrow he reaches out, and
Speaker 2: then the next day you're trying to refocus on the
Speaker 2: new guy. I think that the best thing to do
Speaker 2: when your emotions are very heightened is to take space
Speaker 2: from that other person. You don't even have to call
Speaker 2: it no contact. I would just say, take some steps back,
Speaker 2: take some space, create space between you and this other person,
Speaker 2: because realistically, if someone doesn't want you, you have to
Speaker 2: ask yourself, why do I want someone who doesn't want me?
Speaker 2: That is gross. A queen does not beg she rules.
Speaker 2: A queen does not ask permission, she rules. A queen
Speaker 2: doesn't wait around, she rules. So what rules do you
Speaker 2: have to make for yourself to embody this queen energy?
Speaker 2: Do you think a queen would beg her ex to
Speaker 2: stay in contact with her? I don't think so. I
Speaker 2: don't think so what would your queen self do? And
Speaker 2: that's the answer. And you'll be so surprised when you
Speaker 2: ask yourself this type of question. Instead of asking why
Speaker 2: doesn't he love me? When you ask what would my
Speaker 2: queen self? Do, you actually get answers that lead to
Speaker 2: self discovery. I think no contact is again painful at first,
Speaker 2: especially for women, but in the long run, it allows
Speaker 2: you to harness more of your own focus and energy.
Speaker 2: And isn't that what a queen would do? Isn't that
Speaker 2: more helpful? Yes? Okay, another question? Please, please please, for
Speaker 2: one of your podcasts. Can you talk about not falling
Speaker 2: back into chaser energy? Any time you feel like you're
Speaker 2: about to fall back into chaser energy, what is your
Speaker 2: spark word to remind you to activate your queen energy?
Speaker 2: What is the spark word? Is it Russia? Is it Kingdom?
Speaker 2: Is it destiny? What is it? And you say it
Speaker 2: to yourself and yourself. No, this is what I'm moving towards.
Speaker 2: I'm not chasing a man. I'm attracting my destiny and
Speaker 2: he can follow. He can figure it out. He'll find me.
Speaker 2: Don't worry about it. I said, you know, I'm not
Speaker 2: gonna look for my husband. He can find me. I
Speaker 2: have enough things on my plate. I can't add another.
Speaker 2: I'm having a terrible time with a guy I was seeing,
Speaker 2: and now he just keeps coming in and out. Whatever
Speaker 2: you allow, now I'm punching my computer. Look at this
Speaker 2: queen energy. Whatever you allow, you amplify. So if you
Speaker 2: allow not great treatment, you're amplifying it. A princess feels
Speaker 2: like she doesn't have that much autonomy, so she does
Speaker 2: allow not great treatment. But a queen does not allow that.
Speaker 2: Instead of allowing negative treatment, allow them to leave and
Speaker 2: create proximity, create space from them, and that will allow
Speaker 2: better people to come in. We don't want to allow
Speaker 2: a lack mindset. We don't want to allow to constantly
Speaker 2: feel like we're not getting what we need. And I
Speaker 2: think sometimes we forget how bad we allow it to get.
Speaker 2: But if you're having anxiety every single day about a guy,
Speaker 2: you're having a stomach ache every single day about a
Speaker 2: guy that's not the guy for you. The guy for
Speaker 2: you is gonna allow you to feel peace. What do
Speaker 2: we allow queen treatment? Only allow the man to pursue you,
Speaker 2: allow him to pay for you, allow him to show
Speaker 2: up for you, allow him to reach out to you,
Speaker 2: allow him to create a safe space for you. That's
Speaker 2: what we will allow. He keeps coming in and out,
Speaker 2: and I always think I have a grip on myself concept.
Speaker 2: The minute he pops up, I fall back into chaser
Speaker 2: energy and he goes off again. This is someone who
Speaker 2: has a classic avoidant type, and it's truly up to you.
Speaker 2: Do you want to embody the princess energy where you're begging,
Speaker 2: you're waiting, or do you want to embody a queen
Speaker 2: energy and allow him to show you who he is?
Speaker 2: Allow him to leave your life, and then when he
Speaker 2: comes back, do not allow him in. Because what we allow,
Speaker 2: we amplify. You have to set the rules for your kingdom.
Speaker 2: You have to set the rules for your life. What
Speaker 2: are the rules you're gonna have for yourself? Maybe you
Speaker 2: have to write it down. I'm not going to allow
Speaker 2: someone to come in and out. I'm not going to
Speaker 2: allow someone with an avoidant personality to get my emotions
Speaker 2: all over the place. They are not worth you derailing
Speaker 2: your destiny. Russia. We gotta get that in our dam heads.
Speaker 2: Positive bitches. I hope this episode spoke to you. I
Speaker 2: hope you learn something from it. As always, the Sparkling
Speaker 2: Me honors to sparkle in you. If you have not
Speaker 2: yet gotten your copy of Show Up as Her, be
Speaker 2: sure to do that so you can learn everything you
Speaker 2: need and more. I will see you in the next one.
Speaker 1: Energy you don't don't, you can't sell me, be
Speaker 2: Kiss me, can't sas me.