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<v Speaker 1>And energy, cancel, higg cancelge it not sorry, andenogy.

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<v Speaker 2>What's up? Positive bitches, how are we doing today? If

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<v Speaker 2>you're hearing this episode, then you are meant to be here,

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<v Speaker 2>So keep listening all that Bitch is Positive podcast. Sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>we will laugh. Other times, baby Girl, We're gonna cry,

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<v Speaker 2>but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered,

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<v Speaker 2>positive bitch self that is Babe in true connection with herself.

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<v Speaker 2>On this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so

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<v Speaker 2>we can fully step into exactly who we came here

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<v Speaker 2>to be. Now, we as humans do something very very interesting.

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<v Speaker 2>We are born with a whole switchboard of traits, so

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<v Speaker 2>many different energies and aspects of ourselves that we can

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<v Speaker 2>tap into. Yet we only turn on the traits that

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<v Speaker 2>will guarantee us love and connection, and even negative attention

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<v Speaker 2>is still connection. Keep that in mind as we are

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<v Speaker 2>growing up. If we learn that being the good girl

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<v Speaker 2>is what gets us loving connection from our parent, from

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<v Speaker 2>our caregiver, from our peers, well that's what we're gonna do.

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<v Speaker 2>If we learn that being the class clown is going

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<v Speaker 2>to get us attention and affection, that is who we

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<v Speaker 2>will become. We decide as human beings, what traits we're

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<v Speaker 2>gonna turn on, and what traits we should disown within ourselves.

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<v Speaker 2>We decide what part of me will get connection, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna do that. What part of me isn't getting

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<v Speaker 2>connection or causing confrontation. I'm gonna shut those parts down.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna reject those parts of myself. I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>disown them. And that is how we create a shadow.

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<v Speaker 2>What we're talking about today is reactivating, embodying, stepping back

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<v Speaker 2>into that queen energy. And the reason I started off

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<v Speaker 2>this podcast talking about traits we prioritize versus traits we

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<v Speaker 2>reject is to remind you that becoming this queen self

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<v Speaker 2>is not about stepping away from who you are. It's

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<v Speaker 2>about activating that energy that's already within you. But if

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<v Speaker 2>you learned that being in your power wasn't safe, if

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<v Speaker 2>you learn that being in your power got you ostracized

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<v Speaker 2>or kicked out of the peer group, then you also

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<v Speaker 2>learned not to embody that power. Today, we're reminding ourselves

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<v Speaker 2>that it is our divine right to be an autonomous, powerful,

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<v Speaker 2>multi dimensional being. And there's a lot of people who

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<v Speaker 2>talk about princess treatment and I did a whole entire

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<v Speaker 2>podcast on princess treatment versus queen treatment. I think you

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<v Speaker 2>know what I would recommend. I'll link that in the

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<v Speaker 2>show notes. But today we're really talking about not just

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<v Speaker 2>how to get queen treatment, but how to embody the

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<v Speaker 2>queen within so you can get everything and anything that

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<v Speaker 2>you truly desire as positive bitches. What do we do?

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<v Speaker 2>We don't get mad, We get everything before we get

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<v Speaker 2>into today's episode and talk about how to tap into

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<v Speaker 2>this queen energy. Within a couple of announcements, if you've

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<v Speaker 2>not yet gotten my book Show Up as Her, be

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<v Speaker 2>sure to get your copy. We do talk about the

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<v Speaker 2>topics that I speak about in this book frequently on

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<v Speaker 2>this podcast, and we are going to once again today.

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<v Speaker 2>And if you're not yet following me on Instagram at

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<v Speaker 2>vibe in with CC again in the show notes, be

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<v Speaker 2>sure to follow me there for daily tips and tricks

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<v Speaker 2>on how to embody your most magnetic energy. If you've

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<v Speaker 2>not yet listen into my last single Pudding, it will

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<v Speaker 2>help you put yourself back on the pedestal remember who

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<v Speaker 2>you are, which we all need to do. Hello, yep, yep,

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<v Speaker 2>yep yep, And I have some good news. I am

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<v Speaker 2>opening up some more slots this coming September, October November

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<v Speaker 2>December for new clients. I am a certified life and

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<v Speaker 2>energy coach and I do offer one on one coaching.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're interested in a session or a package with me,

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<v Speaker 2>you can DM me on Instagram and we can talk

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<v Speaker 2>more there. I offer so many different services from attachment

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<v Speaker 2>system healing, to self concept work, to inner child work,

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<v Speaker 2>shadow work, and so much more. But without further ado,

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<v Speaker 2>let's get into today's episode now. When I think about

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<v Speaker 2>a queen versus a princess, I feel more resonant with

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<v Speaker 2>a queen. When you think about a princess, she might

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<v Speaker 2>be royalty, but she has to live under another's law.

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<v Speaker 2>She has to live under the king. He has to

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<v Speaker 2>live under whatever ruling is at that time. She's a princess.

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<v Speaker 2>I always think about like a damsel in distress when

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<v Speaker 2>I think of princess. And when I think of queen,

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<v Speaker 2>not only do you get all the things that a

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<v Speaker 2>princess gets, but you also get power to rule over yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>You get autonomy. Think about a queen versus a princess.

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<v Speaker 2>Can't you feel the energetic difference there? Can't you feel

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<v Speaker 2>that when a queen walks into a room, everyone is

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<v Speaker 2>standing up the second she walks into that room. Versus

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<v Speaker 2>a princess, everyone's like, oh, little princess. But a queen

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<v Speaker 2>gets a different level of respect. A queen makes the rules.

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<v Speaker 2>A princess someone else is making the rule. Let's think

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<v Speaker 2>more about this queen archetype here. I recently have started

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<v Speaker 2>watching the show Show the Great, which is based on

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<v Speaker 2>Catherine the Great. I shouldn't say based on it's a

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<v Speaker 2>story about Katherine the Great, but it's really mostly made up. However,

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<v Speaker 2>it is reminding me so much of my own power.

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<v Speaker 2>An amazing way to tap into the queen archetype is

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<v Speaker 2>to watch a show or a movie about a queen,

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<v Speaker 2>because in this show or movie, you're going to pick

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<v Speaker 2>up on these minute things that she does, how she walks,

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<v Speaker 2>how she talks, how other people respond to her, and

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<v Speaker 2>it's gonna inspire that queen's self to get activated within.

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<v Speaker 2>You can think of someone you deem like the queen archetype,

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<v Speaker 2>like Nancy Reagan, someone who loves tradition, thrives in leadership roles,

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<v Speaker 2>knows what she wants in her worth. I always think

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<v Speaker 2>of Audrey Heppern. That's very much a queen energy who

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<v Speaker 2>was amazing at her art, but also someone who did

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<v Speaker 2>a bunch of things for UNICEF and charity and very classic, classic, classic.

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<v Speaker 2>A princess is someone who, yes, has this royalty, but

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<v Speaker 2>she doesn't have the wisdom. She doesn't have the ability

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<v Speaker 2>to rule over oneself. She doesn't have that same power.

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<v Speaker 2>So you can think about someone who you think is

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<v Speaker 2>a queen, like a Nancy Reagan, like an Audrey Hepburn,

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<v Speaker 2>or you can literally watch even a mythical show, any

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<v Speaker 2>sort of scripted series about a queen, and it's going

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<v Speaker 2>to help you to start to understand how a queen walks, talks, acts, feels.

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<v Speaker 2>Something that allows me to get into my queen energy

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<v Speaker 2>is a spark word. What is a spark word? I

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<v Speaker 2>use certain words to turn on energies with in me.

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<v Speaker 2>And this is something I've done for a really long time.

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<v Speaker 2>I've not necessarily heard someone talk about this, but it's

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<v Speaker 2>just something I've always done naturally, and I'm calling it

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<v Speaker 2>spark words. Okay, when I'm in yoga and I'm trying

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<v Speaker 2>to hold a pose, I will say to myself the

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<v Speaker 2>word stoic, and this word. Not only when I say it,

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<v Speaker 2>do I hear it? But I also picture like a rock.

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<v Speaker 2>And when I say stoic to myself, it immediately activates

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<v Speaker 2>this energy that allows me to stand firm, still, straight

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<v Speaker 2>and completely embody whatever pose I'm aiming for. When I

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<v Speaker 2>need to get back into my queen energy, because maybe

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<v Speaker 2>I acted in a way that was a little prince

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<v Speaker 2>to see a little beggy, a little nonchalant, and I'm like, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I need to remember my power. The word I say

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<v Speaker 2>to myself is Russia. Russia, and I immediately and it

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<v Speaker 2>immediately activates this queen energy within me. I think about

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<v Speaker 2>the show The Great and every time this is why

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<v Speaker 2>a show is so helpful. Every time Elizabeth is about

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<v Speaker 2>to act in a way that is going to possibly

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<v Speaker 2>derail her from her destiny, every time she's going to

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<v Speaker 2>choose something that is not for her highest good, she goes, no, No,

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<v Speaker 2>this is for Russia. I must act in alignment with

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<v Speaker 2>my destiny because my destiny is Russia, and this is

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<v Speaker 2>for Russia. So I've taken that word because I've heard

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<v Speaker 2>her say it so many times, and I told myself,

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<v Speaker 2>any time I'm about to fall into old patterns, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>about to become the chaser. I'm about to act in

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<v Speaker 2>accordance with people pleasing rather than my queen self. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>gonna say the word Russia, and it immediately takes me

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<v Speaker 2>out of that energy because it's a reminder. It's like

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<v Speaker 2>an alarm clock when you wake up and you're like, yah,

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<v Speaker 2>Russia is my alarm clock to remember my queen self.

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<v Speaker 2>So what are we doing so far? We're priming ourself.

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<v Speaker 2>We're either watching a queen or thinking about a queen

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<v Speaker 2>a Nancy Reagan, and then we're using a spark word

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<v Speaker 2>to remind ourselves in the moment to embody these traits.

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<v Speaker 2>And if you don't really know how your queen's self

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<v Speaker 2>would act, use the show or the person as inspiration.

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<v Speaker 2>Would Nancy Reagan do that? I don't think so. Would

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<v Speaker 2>Elizabeth the Great do that? I don't think so. I

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<v Speaker 2>am on season three of the show now, and I

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<v Speaker 2>know Elizabeth only does what's for Russia. She does what

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<v Speaker 2>is for her destiny. She places her destiny above all,

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<v Speaker 2>and isn't that what a queen does. She chooses responsibility,

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<v Speaker 2>she chooses her empire, she chooses her destiny, not the

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<v Speaker 2>rusty dusty freaks of the world. No, she chooses her destiny,

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<v Speaker 2>and as a princess, I feel like sleeping beauty. We're

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<v Speaker 2>waiting for our prince. We're waiting for our night in

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<v Speaker 2>shining armor. We're waiting, We're waiting. We're waiting. We're waiting.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I cannot. We have a whole life

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<v Speaker 2>to live. A queen does not wait around for some

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<v Speaker 2>squirmy worm to come in and save her. A queen

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<v Speaker 2>is like, I have responsibility, I have duties here. I

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<v Speaker 2>have a whole kingdom to run. Your kingdom is your destiny.

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<v Speaker 2>You are the queen, the empress of your life. Your

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<v Speaker 2>destiny is your kingdom. And every time you want to

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<v Speaker 2>slip into a chasing energy, you want to go after

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<v Speaker 2>something that's not meant for you, you need a spark word

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<v Speaker 2>that reminds you, wait a second, I am not going

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<v Speaker 2>to allow this thing to derail me from my destiny. Russia.

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<v Speaker 2>I literally say Russia to myself like fifteen times a

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<v Speaker 2>day to consistently repeatedly remind myself of why I was

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<v Speaker 2>put on this planet in the first place. There are

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<v Speaker 2>going to be distractions sent into your life. There are

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<v Speaker 2>going to be people. There is going to be chaos,

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<v Speaker 2>there's going to be confusion. A princess allows those distractions

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<v Speaker 2>to eat away at her. She allows those distractions to

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<v Speaker 2>get their claws into her. A queen says for Russia

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<v Speaker 2>and refocuses on her self. Your destiny should be the

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<v Speaker 2>utmost importance for you, because that's what you came here for. Everything,

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<v Speaker 2>everything you're doing, every heartbreak, every door shut, every moment

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<v Speaker 2>that you fell to your knees because of the immense

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<v Speaker 2>trauma and pain that you've gone through, none of this

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<v Speaker 2>matters as much as a destiny that is waiting to

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<v Speaker 2>welcome you home. The fulfillment, the joy, the hard expansion

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<v Speaker 2>you will get from your destiny is incomparable to the

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<v Speaker 2>pain you have felt in your life. And a queen

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<v Speaker 2>understands this. A queen doesn't fall prey to lower vibrational circumstance.

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<v Speaker 2>She doesn't let lower vibrational circumstance eat away at her,

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<v Speaker 2>steal her vibration, steal her joy, steal her happiness. She

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<v Speaker 2>sees it, and then she raises the situation to see

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<v Speaker 2>it a little bit better. What I mean by this

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<v Speaker 2>is when something you perceive is going wrong in your

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<v Speaker 2>life instead of allowing it to crush you like a princess.

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<v Speaker 2>May you're going to see it as a queen. You're

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<v Speaker 2>going to see the situation, and then you're going to say,

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<v Speaker 2>what am I learning from this? How can I use

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<v Speaker 2>this as fuel? How am I going to use this

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<v Speaker 2>seat closer to my destiny? Every circumstance can be medicine.

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<v Speaker 2>Every circumstance can be energy if you transmute it and

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<v Speaker 2>you stop asking why is this happening to me and

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<v Speaker 2>instead ask what can I do with this to get

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<v Speaker 2>closer to my destiny, to maintain a stable vibration, to

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<v Speaker 2>get back into my body. Let's not forget self focus

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<v Speaker 2>is of the divine feminine energy. Focusing on the other

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<v Speaker 2>is divine masculine, because the divine masculine energy is the giver,

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<v Speaker 2>the divine feminine is the RECEI. A princess oftentimes is

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<v Speaker 2>focused on when am I going to be saved? What

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<v Speaker 2>rule do I have to follow? A princess is very

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<v Speaker 2>much focused on someone outside of her and having to

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<v Speaker 2>live in accordance to them. But a queen has self focus.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh he's not texting me, well, I have to read

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<v Speaker 2>this book anyway? Oh? He hasn't called me, well, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>signing up for this energy class. Oh that didn't work out,

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<v Speaker 2>or they ghosted, or this or that. A princess will

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<v Speaker 2>get lost in the sauce. A queen says, I have

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<v Speaker 2>self focus. There are things in my life that I

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<v Speaker 2>am building. And if you don't have things in your

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<v Speaker 2>life that you are building. Mmmm, my baby girl, My

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<v Speaker 2>baby girlma, baby girl, what are we doing? You can

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<v Speaker 2>start by reading show up as her. That's a step

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<v Speaker 2>you can take in the right direction. What can you

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<v Speaker 2>build up in your kingdom? Your health, your wealth, your friendships,

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<v Speaker 2>your creativity, signing up for a cooking class. I'm literally

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<v Speaker 2>going to a cooking class today. There are things that

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<v Speaker 2>want your focus, and then there are things that need

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<v Speaker 2>your focus. The thing that needs your focus is yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>You need your focus the most. Yeah, because when you

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<v Speaker 2>focus on you, not only are you embodying queen energy,

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<v Speaker 2>but you're feeding yourself your own energy, which means that

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<v Speaker 2>is sole care. We talk about self care put a

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<v Speaker 2>face mask on. Care is feeding yourself your own energy,

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<v Speaker 2>existing in your own body. A princess feels very much

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<v Speaker 2>like up in my head because I have to ask

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<v Speaker 2>for permission. But a queen is embodied in her literal

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<v Speaker 2>physical vessel because she's the one making the rules. It's

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<v Speaker 2>a different energy, Okay, your incarnation, your perception, your awareness,

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<v Speaker 2>that is what needs your attention. Where attention goes, energy flows.

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<v Speaker 2>So when your attention is here, you're feeding yourself your

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<v Speaker 2>own energy. When your attention is out there, you're feeding

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<v Speaker 2>other people your energy. And you need to remember the

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<v Speaker 2>greatest return on investment you can get is when you

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<v Speaker 2>give yourself your own energy. If you're not grasping the

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<v Speaker 2>difference energy wise of the princess versus the queen. Think

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<v Speaker 2>of Princess Diana versus the queen, who had more power there?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's like pretty obvious who's making the rules

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<v Speaker 2>and who feels caged by them. Yeah, a queen understands

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<v Speaker 2>her value. A princess shrinks herself to fit into the

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<v Speaker 2>confinements of whatever rules are present at that time. And

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<v Speaker 2>I want to take us to page one sixty two,

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<v Speaker 2>the famous bag in my book Show Up as Her.

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<v Speaker 2>My mam always used to tell me a story about

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<v Speaker 2>a famous bag. She told me there was a bag

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<v Speaker 2>everyone wanted, the rich, the poor, the religious, the non religious,

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<v Speaker 2>all cultures, all races, all people from all over the world.

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<v Speaker 2>It was not the most expensive bag, It was not

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<v Speaker 2>the most beautiful, It was not the most creative. Do

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<v Speaker 2>you know why everyone wanted the bag? I said, no,

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<v Speaker 2>Why she said, because not everyone could have it was

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<v Speaker 2>a limited addition. While we are all created equal, our

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<v Speaker 2>worth isn't always perceived as equal based on how much

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<v Speaker 2>energy we give out to others. That bag was no

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<v Speaker 2>better than any other bag. However, people still perceived it

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<v Speaker 2>on a pedestal because not everyone could have it. When

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<v Speaker 2>we rest into our divine feminine knowing that we are

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<v Speaker 2>a limited addition because by the way you are literally

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<v Speaker 2>no one else has your DNA, no one else has

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<v Speaker 2>your exact energy. When we realize we are this limited edition,

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<v Speaker 2>we are perceived as higher in value. When you're giving

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<v Speaker 2>out your energy to everyone, everyone, everyone, trying to appease

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<v Speaker 2>everyone like a princess. Oftentimes does people perceive you at

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<v Speaker 2>a lower level, not because you're less worthy, but because

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<v Speaker 2>of how you're using and broadcasting your energy. When we

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<v Speaker 2>give over our body, presence or energy, perceive us as

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<v Speaker 2>less worthy, even if that's not true. When people perceive

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<v Speaker 2>us as less worthy, they really are only mirroring back

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<v Speaker 2>to us our own beliefs about ourselves. Positive bitch tip.

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<v Speaker 2>We tend to overgive when we think who we already

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<v Speaker 2>are is not enough. If we think we aren't good enough,

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<v Speaker 2>others will pick up on this perception and may believe

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<v Speaker 2>it too. When we realize we are a limited edition

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<v Speaker 2>that literally no one else has our exact, unique energetic signature,

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<v Speaker 2>other people will pick up on this perception and they

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<v Speaker 2>will believe it too. A queen understands her role, She

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<v Speaker 2>understands her responsibility. She understands how worthy she is. And

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<v Speaker 2>that's why when she walks into a room, she's walking

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<v Speaker 2>in like God him self. Center. Her head is up,

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<v Speaker 2>her shoulders are back, and oftentimes royalty queenan's kings they

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<v Speaker 2>believed they were divinely chosen. A queen believe she has

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<v Speaker 2>her role because she was divinely chosen by God. She

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<v Speaker 2>believes she's in this royal position because she was chosen

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<v Speaker 2>by God. When are you going to realize that the

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<v Speaker 2>same God that made the mountains and the moon and

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<v Speaker 2>the ocean also made you? When are you going? And

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<v Speaker 2>I just saw three three three you were divinely supported

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<v Speaker 2>on this journey. When are you going to realize that

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<v Speaker 2>your position, your personality, you were divinely chosen to be

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<v Speaker 2>here during this time, just like a king or a

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<v Speaker 2>queen is chosen terrain. A princess doesn't have that belief.

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<v Speaker 2>She's like, oh, I guess I was just born into this,

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<v Speaker 2>But a queen believes it's her destiny. She was chosen.

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<v Speaker 2>A queen walks around on this planet knowing that where

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<v Speaker 2>she is going is so much more important than where

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<v Speaker 2>she's been. She walks away knowing that God anointed her

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<v Speaker 2>for all the things that she wants. When she thinks

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<v Speaker 2>about the people, the places, the opportunities that she so desires,

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<v Speaker 2>she's not thinking like a princess, Oh, I hope it

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<v Speaker 2>comes and saves me. I hope it comes in. I

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<v Speaker 2>hope someone will allow me to do this. She's not

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<v Speaker 2>worried about permission. She knows this is destined by God.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's why a queen is truly a master manifestor,

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<v Speaker 2>because she understands that the things that she is seeking

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<v Speaker 2>are also seeking her. She understands they're divinely anointed for her.

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<v Speaker 2>She understands that she not only has responsibility, she has power, power,

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<v Speaker 2>and that's a huge difference between how a queen shows

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<v Speaker 2>up versus a princess. I want to get into some

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<v Speaker 2>of the questions that I've been receiving. If you want

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00:21:56.680 --> 00:22:00.319
<v Speaker 2>to have a question answered on this podcast, then you

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00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:03.599
<v Speaker 2>can dm at that bitch is positive on Instagram. Let's

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<v Speaker 2>get into some of these, Hi CC, can you do

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<v Speaker 2>an episode one day on the benefits of going no

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<v Speaker 2>contact and whether or not one should hold onto hope

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<v Speaker 2>and getting back with their ex someone down somewhere down

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<v Speaker 2>the line, and maybe how a girl would even get

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<v Speaker 2>back together with someone who broke their heart. Okay, so

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<v Speaker 2>what are the benefits of going no contact? I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 2>tell you A princess would try not to go no

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<v Speaker 2>contact because she's putting her perception, her awareness, her attention

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<v Speaker 2>on that other person. And a princess is waiting, waiting, waiting.

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<v Speaker 2>When is he gonna save me? When is he coming back?

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<v Speaker 2>I just punched my microphone? When is he coming back?

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<v Speaker 2>A queen says, absolutely not. You couldn't see my worth,

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<v Speaker 2>you couldn't understand my value. Get out of here. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not gonna say what a queen would do, but probably

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<v Speaker 2>exile that dude. You know what I mean, you know

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<v Speaker 2>what I mean. So a queen chooses no contact, and

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<v Speaker 2>what are the benefits of this, So she can focus

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<v Speaker 2>on herself, so she can remember Russia, self focus, self awareness,

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<v Speaker 2>and she can build her empire. Trust me, I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to be a princess so badly, but then I realize

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<v Speaker 2>there's something so much better, which is being a queen,

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<v Speaker 2>which is having the empire, making your own rules and

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<v Speaker 2>getting everything you want. Whereas a princess has this sort

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<v Speaker 2>of waiting, longing yearning, a queen doesn't do anything like that.

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<v Speaker 2>She snaps her fingers and gets what she wants. Going

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<v Speaker 2>no contact is so beneficial for woman. I know it's

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<v Speaker 2>so hard in the beginning because all you want to

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<v Speaker 2>do is run to the person who severely hurt you,

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<v Speaker 2>and you want the person who hurt you to comfort you.

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<v Speaker 2>They can't. We can't look for healing in the places

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<v Speaker 2>that severely hurt us. What happens after a breakup is

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<v Speaker 2>a male brain is better at compartimentalizing information because they

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<v Speaker 2>process information in localized areas, which means one area of

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<v Speaker 2>the brain at a time, whereas women were much better

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<v Speaker 2>at processing information on both the right and left hemisphere. Simultaneously.

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<v Speaker 2>So when we go through a breakup, we're thinking about

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<v Speaker 2>our past, we're thinking about the present, and we're also

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<v Speaker 2>thinking about the future that we built up in our head.

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<v Speaker 2>And not only are we mourning our past, but we're

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<v Speaker 2>mourning the future we thought we're going to have. So

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<v Speaker 2>we really are having all these stories that we told

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<v Speaker 2>ourselves come crashing down. And it's hard to distract ourselves

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<v Speaker 2>because our brain is going back and forth, back and forth,

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<v Speaker 2>back and forth. Whereas a man can just put something

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<v Speaker 2>in front of him and it's easier for him to

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<v Speaker 2>distract himself, and it might be easier for him to

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<v Speaker 2>go no contact at first, But let me tell you,

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<v Speaker 2>as that distraction wanes and he has to come to

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<v Speaker 2>the realization that he actually has to heal and he

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<v Speaker 2>has to go below the surface, later on, it will

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<v Speaker 2>be more difficult for him. And that's usually when they

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<v Speaker 2>come back. We as women, because we're dealing with so

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<v Speaker 2>much pain at the forefront, we choose healings sooner where

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<v Speaker 2>they choose the distraction. But that only helps us win

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<v Speaker 2>in the end, and honestly, the time many of them

380
00:25:11.720 --> 00:25:14.960
<v Speaker 2>come back, we don't even want them anyway. However, everyone's

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<v Speaker 2>journey is different. A queen understands that again, her kingdom,

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<v Speaker 2>her destiny, that's her responsibility, and she has self focus.

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<v Speaker 2>The second part of this question was how would we

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<v Speaker 2>even get back together with someone who broke their heart?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, that's not a that's not a question you

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<v Speaker 2>want to ask yourself right now because that's not where

387
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<v Speaker 2>you are. What you need to focus on right now

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<v Speaker 2>is you getting back into yourself. Don't get under someone new,

389
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<v Speaker 2>get into yourself. What you need to focus on right

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<v Speaker 2>now is that queen energy of self fulfillment. When you

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<v Speaker 2>create a life that feels good to you, you're not

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<v Speaker 2>concerned like a princess is waiting waiting, waiting on someone else.

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<v Speaker 2>Instead of worrying how am I going to accept them

394
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<v Speaker 2>back when they come, refocus on what do I want

395
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<v Speaker 2>more of in my life? More experiences with female friendships,

396
00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:10.960
<v Speaker 2>more experiences with my career, health, wealth, whatever it is,

397
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<v Speaker 2>and focus there instead, because that's what a queen would do. Ooh,

398
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<v Speaker 2>another question. My boyfriend broke up with me four days

399
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<v Speaker 2>ago because he said he fell out of love with me.

400
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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. But when I asked if he thinks

401
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<v Speaker 2>there's a possibility of things changing and us getting back together. Okay,

402
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<v Speaker 2>that's what a princess would do. A queen would say,

403
00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:31.920
<v Speaker 2>thank you so much for your service. I must be

404
00:26:31.960 --> 00:26:34.200
<v Speaker 2>on my way now. He said he can see a

405
00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:39.400
<v Speaker 2>possibility of time healing and us potentially rekindling. He also

406
00:26:39.440 --> 00:26:41.400
<v Speaker 2>said that he doesn't want to give me false hope. Okay,

407
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<v Speaker 2>at least you know. I guess that's honest. I think

408
00:26:43.359 --> 00:26:45.559
<v Speaker 2>it was an impulsive decision for him to dump me.

409
00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:48.440
<v Speaker 2>Does not matter. It does not matter why, it matters.

410
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<v Speaker 1>What?

411
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<v Speaker 2>So A queen understands, Okay, put it this way. A

412
00:26:53.279 --> 00:26:55.359
<v Speaker 2>princess would be like, I think it was impulsive. I

413
00:26:55.359 --> 00:26:57.559
<v Speaker 2>think he's going through this. I think he's going through that. No,

414
00:26:57.880 --> 00:27:01.440
<v Speaker 2>you're not his rehabilitation center. The queen doesn't ask why

415
00:27:01.440 --> 00:27:03.599
<v Speaker 2>what's wrong with him? A queen says, Okay, you don't

416
00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:06.519
<v Speaker 2>want me. Guess what I feel that that is such

417
00:27:06.519 --> 00:27:08.240
<v Speaker 2>a turnoff that you don't want me. How could you

418
00:27:08.279 --> 00:27:10.440
<v Speaker 2>not understand what's in front of you. That is such

419
00:27:10.440 --> 00:27:12.480
<v Speaker 2>a turnoff that I don't want you either. That's how

420
00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:16.400
<v Speaker 2>a queen operates. He made his decision. I'm just left

421
00:27:16.400 --> 00:27:18.960
<v Speaker 2>with the repercussions and pain and confusion. About what to do.

422
00:27:19.200 --> 00:27:21.359
<v Speaker 2>He was my first love. Would you say going no

423
00:27:21.480 --> 00:27:24.640
<v Speaker 2>contact is the best route to healing and clarity? Again,

424
00:27:24.799 --> 00:27:27.559
<v Speaker 2>I didn't even realize that was a no contact question. Yes,

425
00:27:27.960 --> 00:27:32.160
<v Speaker 2>go no contact. So for me, I was in a

426
00:27:32.200 --> 00:27:34.559
<v Speaker 2>relationship for seven years and we broke up. I believe

427
00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:38.599
<v Speaker 2>it was April, and we at first were in a

428
00:27:38.599 --> 00:27:41.279
<v Speaker 2>little bit of contact. I had my book come out,

429
00:27:41.319 --> 00:27:43.119
<v Speaker 2>so he would wish me, like good luck on my book.

430
00:27:43.160 --> 00:27:44.599
<v Speaker 2>He was getting a new job, so I was like

431
00:27:44.640 --> 00:27:47.759
<v Speaker 2>good luck on that, and that was fine, and then

432
00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:52.759
<v Speaker 2>we've been no contact since. And I think that going

433
00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:57.119
<v Speaker 2>no contact really allows you to refocus on you the most.

434
00:27:58.079 --> 00:28:01.480
<v Speaker 2>It hurts in a lot of ways, and it's sucky

435
00:28:01.680 --> 00:28:06.519
<v Speaker 2>at the beginning, but if you keep allowing someone to

436
00:28:06.960 --> 00:28:10.359
<v Speaker 2>contact you and you keep replugging into their energy, it

437
00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:13.599
<v Speaker 2>almost feels like they can pull on you. And then

438
00:28:13.640 --> 00:28:15.720
<v Speaker 2>your energy is going towards your ex and you're trying

439
00:28:15.720 --> 00:28:17.519
<v Speaker 2>to start something new with someone else, but you keep

440
00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:20.039
<v Speaker 2>thinking of your ex because tomorrow he reaches out, and

441
00:28:20.039 --> 00:28:21.599
<v Speaker 2>then the next day you're trying to refocus on the

442
00:28:21.640 --> 00:28:24.519
<v Speaker 2>new guy. I think that the best thing to do

443
00:28:24.599 --> 00:28:29.079
<v Speaker 2>when your emotions are very heightened is to take space

444
00:28:29.160 --> 00:28:32.240
<v Speaker 2>from that other person. You don't even have to call

445
00:28:32.279 --> 00:28:35.400
<v Speaker 2>it no contact. I would just say, take some steps back,

446
00:28:35.839 --> 00:28:38.880
<v Speaker 2>take some space, create space between you and this other person,

447
00:28:39.160 --> 00:28:42.319
<v Speaker 2>because realistically, if someone doesn't want you, you have to

448
00:28:42.359 --> 00:28:44.799
<v Speaker 2>ask yourself, why do I want someone who doesn't want me?

449
00:28:45.359 --> 00:28:48.920
<v Speaker 2>That is gross. A queen does not beg she rules.

450
00:28:49.160 --> 00:28:52.119
<v Speaker 2>A queen does not ask permission, she rules. A queen

451
00:28:52.119 --> 00:28:55.880
<v Speaker 2>doesn't wait around, she rules. So what rules do you

452
00:28:55.920 --> 00:28:58.759
<v Speaker 2>have to make for yourself to embody this queen energy?

453
00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:01.200
<v Speaker 2>Do you think a queen would beg her ex to

454
00:29:01.200 --> 00:29:04.720
<v Speaker 2>stay in contact with her? I don't think so. I

455
00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:09.480
<v Speaker 2>don't think so what would your queen self do? And

456
00:29:09.559 --> 00:29:13.400
<v Speaker 2>that's the answer. And you'll be so surprised when you

457
00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:15.720
<v Speaker 2>ask yourself this type of question. Instead of asking why

458
00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:17.480
<v Speaker 2>doesn't he love me? When you ask what would my

459
00:29:17.559 --> 00:29:20.400
<v Speaker 2>queen self? Do, you actually get answers that lead to

460
00:29:20.400 --> 00:29:25.720
<v Speaker 2>self discovery. I think no contact is again painful at first,

461
00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:29.200
<v Speaker 2>especially for women, but in the long run, it allows

462
00:29:29.240 --> 00:29:31.640
<v Speaker 2>you to harness more of your own focus and energy.

463
00:29:32.119 --> 00:29:34.720
<v Speaker 2>And isn't that what a queen would do? Isn't that

464
00:29:34.759 --> 00:29:40.240
<v Speaker 2>more helpful? Yes? Okay, another question? Please, please please, for

465
00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:42.240
<v Speaker 2>one of your podcasts. Can you talk about not falling

466
00:29:42.279 --> 00:29:45.519
<v Speaker 2>back into chaser energy? Any time you feel like you're

467
00:29:45.559 --> 00:29:48.119
<v Speaker 2>about to fall back into chaser energy, what is your

468
00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:51.720
<v Speaker 2>spark word to remind you to activate your queen energy?

469
00:29:52.279 --> 00:29:54.880
<v Speaker 2>What is the spark word? Is it Russia? Is it Kingdom?

470
00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:58.440
<v Speaker 2>Is it destiny? What is it? And you say it

471
00:29:58.480 --> 00:30:03.839
<v Speaker 2>to yourself and yourself. No, this is what I'm moving towards.

472
00:30:04.480 --> 00:30:08.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm not chasing a man. I'm attracting my destiny and

473
00:30:08.279 --> 00:30:10.599
<v Speaker 2>he can follow. He can figure it out. He'll find me.

474
00:30:10.599 --> 00:30:12.720
<v Speaker 2>Don't worry about it. I said, you know, I'm not

475
00:30:12.720 --> 00:30:14.440
<v Speaker 2>gonna look for my husband. He can find me. I

476
00:30:15.240 --> 00:30:17.160
<v Speaker 2>have enough things on my plate. I can't add another.

477
00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:19.759
<v Speaker 2>I'm having a terrible time with a guy I was seeing,

478
00:30:19.799 --> 00:30:22.160
<v Speaker 2>and now he just keeps coming in and out. Whatever

479
00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:24.799
<v Speaker 2>you allow, now I'm punching my computer. Look at this

480
00:30:24.880 --> 00:30:28.880
<v Speaker 2>queen energy. Whatever you allow, you amplify. So if you

481
00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:35.640
<v Speaker 2>allow not great treatment, you're amplifying it. A princess feels

482
00:30:35.680 --> 00:30:38.000
<v Speaker 2>like she doesn't have that much autonomy, so she does

483
00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:41.839
<v Speaker 2>allow not great treatment. But a queen does not allow that.

484
00:30:42.680 --> 00:30:47.559
<v Speaker 2>Instead of allowing negative treatment, allow them to leave and

485
00:30:47.599 --> 00:30:52.200
<v Speaker 2>create proximity, create space from them, and that will allow

486
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:56.599
<v Speaker 2>better people to come in. We don't want to allow

487
00:30:56.680 --> 00:31:01.119
<v Speaker 2>a lack mindset. We don't want to allow to constantly

488
00:31:01.160 --> 00:31:03.880
<v Speaker 2>feel like we're not getting what we need. And I

489
00:31:03.920 --> 00:31:06.920
<v Speaker 2>think sometimes we forget how bad we allow it to get.

490
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:09.599
<v Speaker 2>But if you're having anxiety every single day about a guy,

491
00:31:09.640 --> 00:31:11.480
<v Speaker 2>you're having a stomach ache every single day about a

492
00:31:11.519 --> 00:31:13.920
<v Speaker 2>guy that's not the guy for you. The guy for

493
00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:17.279
<v Speaker 2>you is gonna allow you to feel peace. What do

494
00:31:17.359 --> 00:31:21.680
<v Speaker 2>we allow queen treatment? Only allow the man to pursue you,

495
00:31:22.200 --> 00:31:25.359
<v Speaker 2>allow him to pay for you, allow him to show

496
00:31:25.440 --> 00:31:27.160
<v Speaker 2>up for you, allow him to reach out to you,

497
00:31:27.240 --> 00:31:29.880
<v Speaker 2>allow him to create a safe space for you. That's

498
00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:34.680
<v Speaker 2>what we will allow. He keeps coming in and out,

499
00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:38.599
<v Speaker 2>and I always think I have a grip on myself concept.

500
00:31:38.680 --> 00:31:40.839
<v Speaker 2>The minute he pops up, I fall back into chaser

501
00:31:40.960 --> 00:31:43.200
<v Speaker 2>energy and he goes off again. This is someone who

502
00:31:43.240 --> 00:31:46.680
<v Speaker 2>has a classic avoidant type, and it's truly up to you.

503
00:31:47.079 --> 00:31:51.000
<v Speaker 2>Do you want to embody the princess energy where you're begging,

504
00:31:51.079 --> 00:31:53.599
<v Speaker 2>you're waiting, or do you want to embody a queen

505
00:31:53.680 --> 00:31:56.119
<v Speaker 2>energy and allow him to show you who he is?

506
00:31:56.680 --> 00:31:58.480
<v Speaker 2>Allow him to leave your life, and then when he

507
00:31:58.519 --> 00:32:01.880
<v Speaker 2>comes back, do not allow him in. Because what we allow,

508
00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:05.599
<v Speaker 2>we amplify. You have to set the rules for your kingdom.

509
00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:09.119
<v Speaker 2>You have to set the rules for your life. What

510
00:32:09.200 --> 00:32:11.000
<v Speaker 2>are the rules you're gonna have for yourself? Maybe you

511
00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:13.599
<v Speaker 2>have to write it down. I'm not going to allow

512
00:32:13.640 --> 00:32:15.599
<v Speaker 2>someone to come in and out. I'm not going to

513
00:32:15.640 --> 00:32:19.640
<v Speaker 2>allow someone with an avoidant personality to get my emotions

514
00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:22.240
<v Speaker 2>all over the place. They are not worth you derailing

515
00:32:22.279 --> 00:32:27.319
<v Speaker 2>your destiny. Russia. We gotta get that in our dam heads.

516
00:32:28.599 --> 00:32:31.240
<v Speaker 2>Positive bitches. I hope this episode spoke to you. I

517
00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:34.240
<v Speaker 2>hope you learn something from it. As always, the Sparkling

518
00:32:34.359 --> 00:32:36.559
<v Speaker 2>Me honors to sparkle in you. If you have not

519
00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:38.440
<v Speaker 2>yet gotten your copy of Show Up as Her, be

520
00:32:38.480 --> 00:32:40.519
<v Speaker 2>sure to do that so you can learn everything you

521
00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:44.440
<v Speaker 2>need and more. I will see you in the next one.

522
00:32:53.279 --> 00:33:06.240
<v Speaker 1>Energy you don't don't, you can't sell me, be

523
00:33:13.519 --> 00:33:15.599
<v Speaker 2>Kiss me, can't sas me.