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<v Speaker 1>Get value. You can't argue with at Tesco with their

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<v Speaker 1>pistachio for dessert. Can't argue with that shop in store

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<v Speaker 1>or online Tesco. Every Little Helps available at most stores.

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<v Speaker 1>Prices very in express.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh hello, twenty twenty four Alley. Here, this is an

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<v Speaker 2>encore while I am napping in a human sized dog

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<v Speaker 2>bed in front of a fireplace for the holidays. What

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<v Speaker 2>a way to start twenty twenty five folks, I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>you to have this episode at the beginning of January.

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<v Speaker 2>This is a reminder of scientifically what actually makes us

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<v Speaker 2>happy and keeps us happy. We all need this one.

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<v Speaker 3>Please enjoy.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it. I'm happy to have you listen. Oh hey,

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<v Speaker 2>it's that guy who saw you see him bump his

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<v Speaker 2>head and then you smile at each other. Like that's okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Ali Ward back with an episode of Ologies. It's going

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<v Speaker 2>to fix your whole life. Just kidding, Actually maybe not.

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<v Speaker 2>It very well might fix your life. I love the

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<v Speaker 2>life Fixer episodes, and this ologist is someone I've had

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<v Speaker 2>in my sites for a few years. We mentioned her

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<v Speaker 2>work in the Oesomology episode with Neil Pazrica, and instead

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<v Speaker 2>of just citing her, we're essentially interrogating her now to

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<v Speaker 2>shake her for brain science. So she got her bachelor's

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<v Speaker 2>in psychology and her master's and PhD in cognition and

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<v Speaker 2>Brain behavior from Harvard University and is now a cognitive

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<v Speaker 2>scientist and a psychology professor at Yale, where she has

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<v Speaker 2>taught the course Psychology and the Good Life. Oh, she's

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<v Speaker 2>been a TED speaker, she was named one of Time

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<v Speaker 2>magazines leading Campus Celebrities, and she hosts a podcast called

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<v Speaker 2>The Happiness Lab. So it's been a wonky few years

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<v Speaker 2>we all know. And as one person who wrote a

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<v Speaker 2>review this week of Ology said, it always brings a

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<v Speaker 2>smile to my face when I hear people talk about

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<v Speaker 2>their passions. I'm grateful every day for Ologies and giving

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<v Speaker 2>me my life back. Ajbuckston, who left that review I'm

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<v Speaker 2>very glad you're here. Thank you for leaving that fresh

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<v Speaker 2>one and a twenty twenty four reviewer, vfarm, who wrote that,

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<v Speaker 2>without fail, my favorite episodes are those on topics I

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<v Speaker 2>had no interest in, y'all, vampires, trees, gar brilliantly unenthusiastic sounding,

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<v Speaker 2>crab experts. There's nothing quite so wonderful. Thank you v

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<v Speaker 2>farm forgetting it. And thanks to everyone who leaves me reviews.

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<v Speaker 2>They keep the show up in the charts. They keep

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<v Speaker 2>me from crying on days that are challenging. Also, heads up,

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<v Speaker 2>if you prefer podcasts without swearing, we have a slew

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<v Speaker 2>of them. They're called smologies and you can subscribe tosmologies

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<v Speaker 2>now wherever you get podcasts, they're in their own separate

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<v Speaker 2>feed in case you need to listen while you carpool

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<v Speaker 2>to school. Okay, thank you to all the patrons who

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<v Speaker 2>left questions for this ologist. You too can join that

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<v Speaker 2>club cost twenty five cents an episode at patreon dot com. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>so let's get into it. You demonology. Will I say

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<v Speaker 2>it right even one time? This episode? Stick around to

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<v Speaker 2>find out. So this is the science of happiness and

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<v Speaker 2>it's been on the ology books a long time. It

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<v Speaker 2>comes from eudemon, which is Greek for a benevolent demon

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<v Speaker 2>or a good spirit, and it was a term used

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<v Speaker 2>by nineteenth century humanistic philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer, and he called

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<v Speaker 2>eudeminology the art of ordering our lives so as to

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<v Speaker 2>obtain the greatest possible amount of pleasure and success. But

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<v Speaker 2>we're talking about the science of this art. So how

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<v Speaker 2>to shed the very comfortable, crusty shell of dissatisfaction and

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<v Speaker 2>anxiety with some good steps that have been proven by

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<v Speaker 2>research people to make your brain less of a miserable bummer.

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<v Speaker 2>So press pause on your sad inner goblins and open

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<v Speaker 2>your ears to hear about wanting versus craving, being happy

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<v Speaker 2>in your life, being happy with your life, How happiness

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<v Speaker 2>is even measured, lottery winter statistics, the wealth of free time,

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<v Speaker 2>the power of a walk wheelbarrows of distractions, When does

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<v Speaker 2>positivity become toxic? How to get around the achiness of

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<v Speaker 2>the word gratitude, and some practical tips to enjoy life

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<v Speaker 2>on planet Earth before you're a pile of forgotten bones

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<v Speaker 2>with cognitive scientist, psychology professor, happiness lab host Yale researcher,

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<v Speaker 2>and you demonologist, doctor Lori Santos. Hello, doctor Santos, how

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<v Speaker 2>are you?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm great? Thanks.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sure as a happiness doctor, as a professor of happiness,

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<v Speaker 2>you probably are inclined to say I feel great, We're off.

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<v Speaker 3>You'd think I'm inclined to be honest, because one thing

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<v Speaker 3>the happiness science shows is that being honest about our

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<v Speaker 3>negative emotions is important too. So when things are tough,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, you know, it's tough, but you know, but

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<v Speaker 3>today's been a good day.

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<v Speaker 2>That's great. I'm already learning so much. Can I have

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<v Speaker 2>you say, really quick, your first and last name and

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<v Speaker 2>your pronouns.

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<v Speaker 3>Sure, I'm Laurie Santos, and my pronouns are she her.

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<v Speaker 2>You have been on my radar for years actually, and

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<v Speaker 2>so I'm really stoked to talk to you because this

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<v Speaker 2>is an ology that I've wanted to do for I

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<v Speaker 2>think since before I even started the podcast. Do you

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<v Speaker 2>are you familiar with this? That word demo wed homology?

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<v Speaker 2>What homology? What a monology?

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<v Speaker 3>No? Maybe that word it's ue ed eo oh sorry, yes,

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<v Speaker 3>eudymology maybe eutomology, yes, like you diamonia is the yes?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so I guess this is the study of that

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<v Speaker 2>feeling or that state. And you're the perfect person to

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<v Speaker 2>talk to you, because obviously you have your podcast and

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<v Speaker 2>you teach courses at Yale about this. So can you

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<v Speaker 2>tell me a little bit about your background. How did

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<v Speaker 2>you start studying cognition and feelings? Where did it start?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well, I've been a psychologist, you know, forever. I

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<v Speaker 3>think I've always been interested in the human mind and

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<v Speaker 3>how it works and things. But you know, before I

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<v Speaker 3>get into the study of happiness specifically, I was really

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<v Speaker 3>interested in the origins of cognition, so the origins of

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<v Speaker 3>how we think, and I study that by looking at

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<v Speaker 3>non human animals. I studied how monkeys and dogs think

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<v Speaker 3>about the world. And that was kind of my day

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<v Speaker 3>job until I took on a new role on Yale's campus,

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<v Speaker 3>where I became what's called a head of college. And

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<v Speaker 3>so Yale's kind of like one of these weird schools

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<v Speaker 3>like in Harry Potter where there are like colleges within

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<v Speaker 3>a college, you know, like kind of Gryffindora Slytherin sort

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<v Speaker 3>of thing. I'm head of Syllomon College and that means

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<v Speaker 3>I live on campus with students. And when I started

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<v Speaker 3>the role. I was expecting it to be you know,

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<v Speaker 3>like you know, rainbows and parties and just like happy

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<v Speaker 3>students all the time. But when I got there, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>I was really seeing the college student mental health crisis

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<v Speaker 3>up close and personal, you know, with so many students

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<v Speaker 3>reporting feeling depressed and anxious. And you know, even if

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<v Speaker 3>they weren't you know, at clinical levels of mental health dysfunction,

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<v Speaker 3>they were just kind of feeling stressed and sort of

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<v Speaker 3>fast forwarding their life, you know, and just feeling overwhelmed

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<v Speaker 3>and really busy. And so I kind of wanted to

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<v Speaker 3>do something about it. You know, I didn't like being

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<v Speaker 3>in this culture where so many students were stressed and

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<v Speaker 3>depressed and just kind of not enjoying their time in college.

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<v Speaker 3>And so I thought, well, let me, you know, figure

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<v Speaker 3>out what my field of psychology says about this. And

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<v Speaker 3>psychology gives us so many tips that we can use

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<v Speaker 3>to feel better. And so I thought, all right, great,

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<v Speaker 3>I'll you know, I'll do what professors do. I'll make

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<v Speaker 3>a whole class on this. So, you know, I prepped

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<v Speaker 3>this class that I christened Psychology in the Good Life,

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<v Speaker 3>and you know, slapped it together thinking, you know, thirty

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<v Speaker 3>or so students would take it. And you can imagine

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<v Speaker 3>my surprise when a quarter of the entire campus enrolled

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<v Speaker 3>the first time I taught it. Yeah, we couldn't. We

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<v Speaker 3>couldn't fit the class anywhere. We had to teach it

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<v Speaker 3>in a concert hall on campus because that was place

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<v Speaker 3>it would fit. But you know, that showed me students

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<v Speaker 3>are voting with their feet. They don't like this culture

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<v Speaker 3>of feeling so overwhelmed and stressed. And I think they

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<v Speaker 3>really wanted, you know, science based strategies they could use

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<v Speaker 3>to feel better.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, much different I think than just Instagram quotes on

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<v Speaker 2>a page. Here, You've got someone who studies the brain,

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<v Speaker 2>who study psychology. You're probably people go into it with

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit of faith that you'll have some evidence

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<v Speaker 2>based information.

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<v Speaker 3>Right exactly. And you know, I mean, I think, you

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<v Speaker 3>know what. One of the things that's interesting is we

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<v Speaker 3>learn as you look into the science, you learn that,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, some of those ancient pieces of wisdom we're

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<v Speaker 3>quite accurate, you know. Some of the platitudes we see

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<v Speaker 3>are quite accurate, you know, but some not so much, right,

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<v Speaker 3>And I think that's why we need an empirical approach.

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<v Speaker 2>Right.

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<v Speaker 3>We can just ask scientifically. Okay, if we find happy people,

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<v Speaker 3>what are they doing differently, what are their strategies, how

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<v Speaker 3>are they spending their time? And then we can let

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<v Speaker 3>them not so happy people copy that and really test you.

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<v Speaker 3>Are they feeling happier? Are they feeling less depressed? And

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<v Speaker 3>you know, these days we have almost you know, two

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<v Speaker 3>decades worth of scientific work that's done that in this

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<v Speaker 3>field of positive psychology, and you know, we've learned a lot.

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<v Speaker 3>There's lots of evidence based tips out there for what

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<v Speaker 3>you can do to feel better.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So the term positive psychology was popularized by doctor

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<v Speaker 2>Martin Seligman, who felt that the contemporary psychology was just

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<v Speaker 2>too deeply focused on what's fucked up about us, not

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<v Speaker 2>how can we live better? So it focuses on things

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<v Speaker 2>like self discovery and a sense of purpose and expressing

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<v Speaker 2>yourself through creativity and authentically. So we're going to get

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<v Speaker 2>to more of that in a bit. But first, from

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<v Speaker 2>small hairy primates to larger, slightly less hairy primates like us,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know where did you make that jump from

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<v Speaker 2>non human primates and dogs into humans? Did you find

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<v Speaker 2>that a lot of the research just correlates based on

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<v Speaker 2>what our brain structures are how our neurons work.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, it's interesting. The work I was doing with dogs

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<v Speaker 3>and monkeys was more kind of figuring out, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>how they decide what they know about the world. But

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<v Speaker 3>there was a rich similarity, which is that when you

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<v Speaker 3>start looking into the happiness science work, you quickly realize

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<v Speaker 3>a big way that we get things wrong, which is

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<v Speaker 3>that we have some really bad theories about the kinds

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<v Speaker 3>of things that make us happy. You know, when I

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<v Speaker 3>talk to my students and on my podcast, I often say,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, our minds are lying to us about the

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<v Speaker 3>sorts of things that will make us happy. You know,

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<v Speaker 3>we think it's money and changing our circumstances and you know,

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<v Speaker 3>getting the perfect accolade or the perfect grade. But those

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<v Speaker 3>things seem not to work. And that tied really nicely

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<v Speaker 3>to some of the work we were doing in animals,

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<v Speaker 3>where we showed that some of the deepest irrationalities we

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<v Speaker 3>have in our species might be evolutionarily old. They're kind

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<v Speaker 3>of built in. And I think the same thing about

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<v Speaker 3>some of the things we get wrong about happiness. Like,

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<v Speaker 3>even knowing these studies, it's hard for me to change

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<v Speaker 3>my intuitions. You know, I still think, well, if I,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, hit powerball today, oh man, I'd be so

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<v Speaker 3>much happier. Or you know, if it just wasn't raining today,

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<v Speaker 3>I'd be so much happier. If you know, we could

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<v Speaker 3>change my circumstances, dress that would really improve my well being.

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<v Speaker 3>But I know the scientific work that suggests that's probably

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<v Speaker 3>not the case.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So I looked into some data on if powerball

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<v Speaker 2>winners are happier, and it's a mixed bag of money.

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<v Speaker 2>So one thing for sure, people do take more vacations

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<v Speaker 2>when they win the lottery, And by contrast, sixty percent

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<v Speaker 2>of Americans take zero vacations a year. And apparently one

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<v Speaker 2>thing that pleases us so much about vacations is just

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<v Speaker 2>having something, anything, to look forward to. So just start

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<v Speaker 2>peppering your calendar with any excursion you can, even if

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<v Speaker 2>it's just like a nice bowl of soup next Wednesday

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<v Speaker 2>or a hike next weekend, pack a picnic. Leisure time

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<v Speaker 2>on any scale is apparently worth a million bucks and

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<v Speaker 2>tax free. So hey, is happiness more about being happy

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<v Speaker 2>with ourselves and accepting ourselves or external circumstances or is

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<v Speaker 2>it mission base Like you're on the right path to

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<v Speaker 2>doing something that you believe in.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's a few of all of those things. I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>I think one thing in terms of our circumstances. You know,

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<v Speaker 3>it's worth noting that if you're in really dire traumatic circumstances, yes,

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<v Speaker 3>getting different circumstances will really, you know, improve your well being.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, if you're living below the poverty line, or

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<v Speaker 3>if you're in an abusive relationship, you do want to

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<v Speaker 3>change those circumstances. But for many of the people privileged

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<v Speaker 3>enough to listen to this podcast, who can you know

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<v Speaker 3>put food on the table, you know, has a roof

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<v Speaker 3>over the head and so on. You know, changing your

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<v Speaker 3>circumstances might not affect your happiness as much as you think.

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<v Speaker 3>For many of us circumstances, isn't the changing our circumstances

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<v Speaker 3>isn't the fastest path to feeling a little bit happier.

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<v Speaker 2>So is it? Mind over matter? This is where you

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<v Speaker 2>ask smart persons and do fee questions.

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<v Speaker 3>Often it's more about changing our mindset, which incorporates a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of the things you mentioned. You know, it's about

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<v Speaker 3>changing the way we see the world, changing the way

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<v Speaker 3>we see our circumstances, changing the extent to which we're

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<v Speaker 3>present with our circumstances and our emotions, and it's all

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<v Speaker 3>so you know, tapping into things that give us meaning

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<v Speaker 3>in life, you know, giving us us a sense of purpose.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, so all of those things seem to matter

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<v Speaker 3>a lot more than what our salary level is or

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<v Speaker 3>for my students, you know, the last grade they got

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<v Speaker 3>on their midterm and things like that.

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<v Speaker 2>Backing up a little bit, what is happiness? How do

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<v Speaker 2>you even define it? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Tricky, I mean we could take you know, many many

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<v Speaker 3>podcasts ups, so, you know, fighting over a definition of happiness.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, social scientists tend to try to be simpler

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<v Speaker 3>than philosophers, so they go for a definition of happiness

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<v Speaker 3>that's pretty easy to measure. And so most social scientists

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<v Speaker 3>think about happiness as sort of being happy in your

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<v Speaker 3>life and with your life. And so you know, being

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<v Speaker 3>happy in your life is just having lots of positive emotions, right,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, like you have experienced joy and laughter and

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<v Speaker 3>fun and less often things like sadness and anger. Not

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<v Speaker 3>not that those aren't there at all, right, because a

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<v Speaker 3>full and complete life includes some negative emotions, but you

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<v Speaker 3>know the ratio is pretty good. That's sort of being

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<v Speaker 3>happy in your life. Being happy with your life? Is

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<v Speaker 3>that meaning, that sense of purpose. It's the answer to

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<v Speaker 3>the question, all things considered, how satisfied am I with

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<v Speaker 3>my life? And those two constructs are ones that scientists

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<v Speaker 3>measure separately, and it's worth noting that they do sometimes dissociate.

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<v Speaker 3>You know that. I think if you go on Instagram,

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<v Speaker 3>there are a lot of people who are happy in

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<v Speaker 3>their life. They're eating these hedonistic meals on some plane somewhere,

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<v Speaker 3>but you know, if you look at how they're feeling

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<v Speaker 3>with their life, I bet they're feeling pretty empty. And

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<v Speaker 3>you can also have cases of the opposite. My dean

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<v Speaker 3>who I live with here in the college, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>she and her wife recently just had a baby and

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<v Speaker 3>newborn baby. You know, you're really happy with your life,

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<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, this rich sense of meaning being a mom,

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<v Speaker 3>but in your life dirty diapers and not sleeping, and

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<v Speaker 3>so they can dissociate. But best case scenario is that

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<v Speaker 3>you're feeling pretty high on both of those.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm going to pause us for a second just

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<v Speaker 2>to ponder, how do you feel in your life? How

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<v Speaker 2>are your days to days? Maybe some nice tea in

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<v Speaker 2>the morning, some supportive coworkers maybe some evening knitting or

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<v Speaker 2>a walk with a friend, or do you hate your

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<v Speaker 2>coffee maker and you don't know why you started rewatching

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<v Speaker 2>the Big Bang theory for episode one, You're tired, go

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<v Speaker 2>to bed? Now, what about with your life? Do you

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<v Speaker 2>feel a sense of purpose? Are you proud of your life?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you feel authentic? Just think about it for a second.

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<v Speaker 2>It's totally okay if you're like, some of it's good,

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<v Speaker 2>some of it sucks eggs or I'm very fortunate? Why

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<v Speaker 2>am I such a grumpy walrus?

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<v Speaker 3>And there are lots of different hacks that we can

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<v Speaker 3>do to improve both of those constructs.

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<v Speaker 2>In terms of emotions themselves, is happiness an umbrella for

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<v Speaker 2>things like joy and relief and satisfaction and contentment? Or

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<v Speaker 2>are those all individual, separate emotions?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean it kind of depends. I think, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>we we and sometimes scientists, philosophers, you know, all of us,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, we can get really kind of tied up

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<v Speaker 3>on the specifics, right, you know, is joy a subcomponent

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<v Speaker 3>of happiness or is it bigger than happiness? What about

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<v Speaker 3>contentment and things like that? I'm more of the opinion

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<v Speaker 3>of you kind of know them when you see him, right.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, I want a construct that's easy enough that

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<v Speaker 3>if I give people some sort of self report measure

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<v Speaker 3>that they can tell me about it. But beyond that,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to get into a big fight about well,

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<v Speaker 3>is it joy? Is it contentment? Is it forty five

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<v Speaker 3>percent or is it fifty per You know, I think

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<v Speaker 3>you kind of know it when you see it, but

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<v Speaker 3>we could probably dig in. I mean, there's nuance there.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, the kind of calm contentment feels different than

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<v Speaker 3>a kind of manic, excited happiness than you know, a

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<v Speaker 3>deep sense of joy. You know, these these are different constructs,

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<v Speaker 3>and maybe importantly so. But overall, what we're going for

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<v Speaker 3>is as many of those as possible.

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<v Speaker 2>And what about you in particular? I know that you

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<v Speaker 2>said you can read the studies and understand and know,

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<v Speaker 2>but sometimes it's it's hard to do. You know, how

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<v Speaker 2>has your life changed since you switched a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>of your career focus on this.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well it's definitely, like, statistically speaking, made me much happier.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, I'm a nerd, right, So I take these

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<v Speaker 3>surveys myself about you know, how satisfied are you with

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<v Speaker 3>your life? On a scale of one to ten and

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<v Speaker 3>stuff like that. You know, on most ten point scales

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<v Speaker 3>of both kind of happiness in my life and happiness

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<v Speaker 3>with my life, I've gone up at least a point

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<v Speaker 3>since focusing on this stuff. But it's not like magic, right,

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<v Speaker 3>it's in part just because I'm I'm doing the things

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<v Speaker 3>that I keep telling my students to do. You know,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm practicing gratitude, I'm improving my social connection, I'm meditating more,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm exercising, like, I'm doing all this stuff in a

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<v Speaker 3>big list of Hey, if you do these things scientifically,

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<v Speaker 3>seems like you'll feel better. And now doing those and

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<v Speaker 3>I'm feeling better, So it kind of makes sense. There's

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<v Speaker 3>also something wonderful about being the happiness professor because you know,

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<v Speaker 3>I have a whole host of students and podcast listeners who,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, if I'm not doing the right thing, will

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<v Speaker 3>probably call me out. You know, you know my students,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, ah has it going like, oh, I'm so frustrated.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, it's such a and they're like, oh, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>my students call me head of College Santos. So it's

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<v Speaker 3>Hak Santos, it's what it's abbreviated. You to be like

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<v Speaker 3>hax Santo's are you supposed to be practicing gratitude?

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<v Speaker 2>You know?

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<v Speaker 3>And it's like, okay, yes, you're right, you know, so

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<v Speaker 3>I will get called out if I'm not practicing this stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you feel like your friends come to you for

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<v Speaker 2>more pep talks or fewer because they just look at

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<v Speaker 2>your published work instead?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah? You know, I think my friends are my friends, right,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, they don't necessarily see me as a happiness

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<v Speaker 3>expert you have anything. I think the happiness expert thing

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<v Speaker 3>can become a little bit you know, annoying at times

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<v Speaker 3>of like, well, you know I have a podcast on that.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, It's like, no, they just want me to

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<v Speaker 3>be their friend. Yeah, and so try to separate the

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<v Speaker 3>two a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Shit, Am I not supposed to talk about podcast episodes

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<v Speaker 2>with my friends? Because I've told a lot of people

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<v Speaker 2>about wildfires and how lizards have two dogs? Let's change

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<v Speaker 2>the subject. Well, let's get into some of those factors,

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<v Speaker 2>because I know that you you rattle them off, and

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<v Speaker 2>it's a lot of things that we we feel like

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<v Speaker 2>we know, but we don't necessarily know. Why are the

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<v Speaker 2>mechanisms of how that works? You know, exercise practicing gratitude.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you run me down those things and in a

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<v Speaker 2>nutshell tell me why do they work?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah? I mean, you know, there's different kinds of categories

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<v Speaker 3>of them, you know, but one whole set of categories,

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<v Speaker 3>or there's a whole host of things that make us

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<v Speaker 3>happier that are about connecting with other people. Right, literally

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<v Speaker 3>being around other people is considered a necessary condition for

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<v Speaker 3>high happiness and a lot of studies and that's true

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<v Speaker 3>even for introverts. So just literally connecting with and being

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<v Speaker 3>around other people super useful for happiness. But another way

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<v Speaker 3>that you connect with other people is to focus on

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<v Speaker 3>what makes them happy. Lots of evidence that doing random

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<v Speaker 3>acts of kindness, spending money and time on other people,

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<v Speaker 3>that makes us feel happier. And in some cases, especially

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<v Speaker 3>with spending money, you're happier spending money on others than

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<v Speaker 3>you even are spending on yourself, you know. So this

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<v Speaker 3>this attitude of social connection and doing for others, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>a powerful set of practices to make us feel happier.

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<v Speaker 3>Another set of practices really has to do with our mindset.

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<v Speaker 2>You know.

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<v Speaker 3>Do we have a mindset of kind of griping and

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<v Speaker 3>complaining or are we focused on things we're grateful for.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, are we paying attention to the negative things

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<v Speaker 3>in life or are we focused on delights? Are we

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<v Speaker 3>present enough to savor some of the good things, and

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<v Speaker 3>just you know present in general to notice our emotions

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<v Speaker 3>and notice things. There's evidence suggesting that a wandering mind

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<v Speaker 3>is an unhappy mind. So just the act of a

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<v Speaker 3>mindset of being present can be really powerful for happiness.

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<v Speaker 2>So for more on a daily practice of looking for

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<v Speaker 2>things that aren't the fucking worst, I linked the awesomology

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<v Speaker 2>episode in the show notes also learning this next term

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<v Speaker 2>killed me. I'm dead. I'm a fungus now.

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<v Speaker 3>And then there's just a whole host of things that

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<v Speaker 3>I think we kind of know are good for our

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<v Speaker 3>physical health but we forget can be so important for

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<v Speaker 3>our mental health. You know, things like taking time to exercise,

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<v Speaker 3>taking time to sleep, which is a huge one, and

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<v Speaker 3>just having like some time off. There's lots of evidence

417
00:20:41.960 --> 00:20:44.960
<v Speaker 3>that something called time affluence, the subjective sense that you

418
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:48.279
<v Speaker 3>have some free time, is much more critical for happiness

419
00:20:48.519 --> 00:20:51.480
<v Speaker 3>we than we realize. And so, you know, all of

420
00:20:51.519 --> 00:20:53.119
<v Speaker 3>those things as I say them, you know, we can

421
00:20:53.160 --> 00:20:55.839
<v Speaker 3>go through the scientific studies and so on, and you know,

422
00:20:55.920 --> 00:20:58.079
<v Speaker 3>your listeners might be thinking like, well, I kind of

423
00:20:58.200 --> 00:21:00.359
<v Speaker 3>know that. And what I like to say is it's

424
00:21:00.720 --> 00:21:04.079
<v Speaker 3>you know, it's common wisdom, but it's not common practice.

425
00:21:04.240 --> 00:21:05.759
<v Speaker 3>You know how many of those things that I just

426
00:21:05.880 --> 00:21:08.920
<v Speaker 3>rattled off aren't things that you're doing right now? You

427
00:21:08.960 --> 00:21:10.960
<v Speaker 3>know that. And then that's why I think it's really

428
00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:13.759
<v Speaker 3>critical to know the science, because as you hear the

429
00:21:13.759 --> 00:21:16.079
<v Speaker 3>science of, say, nutrition, you think like, oh, maybe I

430
00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:18.640
<v Speaker 3>should eat healthier. I think as you hear the science

431
00:21:18.680 --> 00:21:21.559
<v Speaker 3>of how things like social connection and exercise work, you

432
00:21:21.599 --> 00:21:24.279
<v Speaker 3>start thinking, oh, maybe those are things I really do

433
00:21:24.359 --> 00:21:25.799
<v Speaker 3>need to get in more of. You know, I kind

434
00:21:25.799 --> 00:21:28.000
<v Speaker 3>of knew it, but now that I see the evidence,

435
00:21:28.200 --> 00:21:30.200
<v Speaker 3>this does seem really important.

436
00:21:30.759 --> 00:21:33.960
<v Speaker 2>So connecting with people talking face to face is better

437
00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:37.200
<v Speaker 2>for us than just text. The phone works too, face

438
00:21:37.240 --> 00:21:40.160
<v Speaker 2>time is even better than the phone. Also helping others

439
00:21:40.160 --> 00:21:43.960
<v Speaker 2>when you can looking for lovely shiny things amid the

440
00:21:44.039 --> 00:21:48.079
<v Speaker 2>compost pile that can feel like life. Also sleep and exercise.

441
00:21:48.279 --> 00:21:50.519
<v Speaker 2>It can be immediate, or like exercise, it can be

442
00:21:50.519 --> 00:21:52.680
<v Speaker 2>a few weeks before these habits really take root and

443
00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:54.680
<v Speaker 2>you start to feel better. So don't give up. Give

444
00:21:54.720 --> 00:21:57.200
<v Speaker 2>it a few weeks, especially since it's free, Are you

445
00:21:57.240 --> 00:21:59.960
<v Speaker 2>feeling lazy and annoyed? Don't worry. A lot of us

446
00:22:00.039 --> 00:22:01.960
<v Speaker 2>feel that way when we start doing something that will

447
00:22:02.039 --> 00:22:05.240
<v Speaker 2>keep us alive and happy. So I asked doctor Santos

448
00:22:05.440 --> 00:22:08.400
<v Speaker 2>for us, why am I like this? Why do you

449
00:22:08.519 --> 00:22:13.000
<v Speaker 2>think from some sort of evolutionary standpoint, when we're bombed out,

450
00:22:13.400 --> 00:22:16.000
<v Speaker 2>it's harder to do the things that would make us

451
00:22:16.039 --> 00:22:17.240
<v Speaker 2>less bombed out.

452
00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:20.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, super frustrating. Like the mind is designed in like

453
00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:23.400
<v Speaker 3>a really stupid way. You know, we know this, you know,

454
00:22:23.480 --> 00:22:26.960
<v Speaker 3>from other evolutionary studies, but definitely when it comes when

455
00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:29.960
<v Speaker 3>it comes to happiness. That's the case. In one of

456
00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:34.559
<v Speaker 3>my upcoming episodes of The Happiness Lab, I talk about

457
00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:38.279
<v Speaker 3>this really stupid design feature of the brain where there's

458
00:22:38.319 --> 00:22:41.720
<v Speaker 3>just a different, like a whole different brain system that

459
00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:43.920
<v Speaker 3>codes for what we like, you know, so the things

460
00:22:43.960 --> 00:22:47.200
<v Speaker 3>we really enjoy versus the things that we want, the

461
00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:49.920
<v Speaker 3>things that we're motivated to go after, or that we crave.

462
00:22:50.440 --> 00:22:53.039
<v Speaker 3>The simplest example is like, you know, sometimes when I'm

463
00:22:53.039 --> 00:22:55.599
<v Speaker 3>having a bad day at work, I just like crave

464
00:22:55.799 --> 00:22:58.319
<v Speaker 3>like plopping down and watching Netflix, or like eating a

465
00:22:58.359 --> 00:23:01.599
<v Speaker 3>cupcake or having like a huge glass of wine. But like,

466
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:04.279
<v Speaker 3>if you actually look at how much I would like that,

467
00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:07.279
<v Speaker 3>the Netflix is going to make me apathetic, and the

468
00:23:07.319 --> 00:23:09.359
<v Speaker 3>cupcake is going to give me the jitters and the wine,

469
00:23:09.400 --> 00:23:11.960
<v Speaker 3>I'm not going to sleep very well. Like ultimately, the

470
00:23:12.039 --> 00:23:15.480
<v Speaker 3>liking has this disconnect from the wanting, and you get

471
00:23:15.519 --> 00:23:18.279
<v Speaker 3>it in the reverse direction too, Like I don't after

472
00:23:18.359 --> 00:23:22.839
<v Speaker 3>a long day at or crave a really hard peloton ride,

473
00:23:23.279 --> 00:23:25.680
<v Speaker 3>or like you know, like a really hard yoga class,

474
00:23:25.799 --> 00:23:27.839
<v Speaker 3>or like taking a long walk with a friend. I

475
00:23:28.119 --> 00:23:30.880
<v Speaker 3>don't have like the same motivation I have for that

476
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:33.000
<v Speaker 3>that I do for like the cupcake or the oring

477
00:23:33.079 --> 00:23:36.759
<v Speaker 3>relaxing thing or a hit of social media. But even

478
00:23:36.799 --> 00:23:39.799
<v Speaker 3>though I don't have the wanting, if I actually engage

479
00:23:39.839 --> 00:23:43.079
<v Speaker 3>in that practice, I'll feel so much better. And so

480
00:23:43.759 --> 00:23:45.880
<v Speaker 3>this is a dumb way to design a brain when

481
00:23:45.960 --> 00:23:48.680
<v Speaker 3>you think that wanting would kind of go with liking,

482
00:23:48.759 --> 00:23:51.440
<v Speaker 3>but it just sort of doesn't. And that means we

483
00:23:51.480 --> 00:23:54.480
<v Speaker 3>spend a lot of time craving and easily going after

484
00:23:54.599 --> 00:23:57.279
<v Speaker 3>things we won't really like. And it means we don't

485
00:23:57.279 --> 00:24:00.839
<v Speaker 3>have mechanisms except very kind of rational push ourselves. We

486
00:24:00.880 --> 00:24:04.079
<v Speaker 3>don't have these kind of low grade craving mechanisms to

487
00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:06.640
<v Speaker 3>go after things that really will benefit our happiness, but

488
00:24:06.920 --> 00:24:08.400
<v Speaker 3>we don't realize we want them.

489
00:24:08.759 --> 00:24:11.799
<v Speaker 2>How do we hijack that? Like, how do we trick

490
00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:14.480
<v Speaker 2>ourselves into doing the thing that we don't think that

491
00:24:14.599 --> 00:24:16.759
<v Speaker 2>we want to do, but we like doing it is

492
00:24:16.759 --> 00:24:17.279
<v Speaker 2>good for us?

493
00:24:17.920 --> 00:24:20.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well there's you know, there's two ways to do it.

494
00:24:20.039 --> 00:24:23.039
<v Speaker 3>You know. One is this very rational force yourself way,

495
00:24:23.079 --> 00:24:25.839
<v Speaker 3>which which I harness a lot, which is like, hmm okay,

496
00:24:25.960 --> 00:24:28.319
<v Speaker 3>even though I don't really feel like calling anyone right now,

497
00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:30.000
<v Speaker 3>I know the science and if I talk to someone,

498
00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:31.799
<v Speaker 3>I'll feel better, right, you know, so you kind of

499
00:24:31.880 --> 00:24:34.799
<v Speaker 3>the force yourself approach, right, But the force your self

500
00:24:34.839 --> 00:24:37.440
<v Speaker 3>approach works best if it's paired with the second practice,

501
00:24:37.480 --> 00:24:41.039
<v Speaker 3>which is forcing yourself to notice what you like, because

502
00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:44.440
<v Speaker 3>the wanting system can update. It just doesn't do it naturally.

503
00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:48.079
<v Speaker 3>But after a really hard yoga class or after calling

504
00:24:48.119 --> 00:24:50.599
<v Speaker 3>that friend when you didn't feel like it, take time

505
00:24:50.599 --> 00:24:53.759
<v Speaker 3>to notice like does this feel good? And you're like, yeah, this,

506
00:24:53.839 --> 00:24:56.559
<v Speaker 3>actually this actually feels nice. I had this, you know,

507
00:24:56.640 --> 00:24:58.799
<v Speaker 3>pre COVID when I was going to a yoga studio.

508
00:24:58.880 --> 00:25:01.440
<v Speaker 3>This wonderful yoga instruct through it right, at the end

509
00:25:01.440 --> 00:25:04.119
<v Speaker 3>of a hard class, would have you take this moment like, okay,

510
00:25:04.119 --> 00:25:06.799
<v Speaker 3>now take a moment to notice, notice how you feel

511
00:25:06.799 --> 00:25:09.160
<v Speaker 3>after this class, Like notice how this made you feel?

512
00:25:09.359 --> 00:25:11.720
<v Speaker 3>And after you're like, damn, that was great, Like I

513
00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:12.799
<v Speaker 3>want more of this feeling.

514
00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:15.359
<v Speaker 2>You know, So when you pick the salad and stop

515
00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:18.519
<v Speaker 2>pretending that diet coke is water and you go for

516
00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:21.960
<v Speaker 2>the slowest, sweatiest shuffle around the block, but you do it,

517
00:25:22.240 --> 00:25:25.559
<v Speaker 2>take a minute and absolutely relish how wonderful and brave

518
00:25:25.839 --> 00:25:28.319
<v Speaker 2>and heroic your efforts were and how you feel. We

519
00:25:28.440 --> 00:25:29.759
<v Speaker 2>deserve this, but.

520
00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:32.039
<v Speaker 3>We tend not to be present, We tend not to

521
00:25:32.119 --> 00:25:35.440
<v Speaker 3>mindfully notice. And that's true for this stuff you really crave,

522
00:25:35.519 --> 00:25:37.839
<v Speaker 3>but you might not like after you, like you open

523
00:25:37.839 --> 00:25:39.920
<v Speaker 3>the fridge four times and grab that thing to eat

524
00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:41.680
<v Speaker 3>that you didn't really feel like, take a moment to

525
00:25:41.720 --> 00:25:44.920
<v Speaker 3>be like, am I satisfied now? Not really? You might

526
00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:47.759
<v Speaker 3>want to grab something else. And once you notice that,

527
00:25:47.799 --> 00:25:51.079
<v Speaker 3>your wanting system can be like okay, kind of duly noted,

528
00:25:51.319 --> 00:25:53.519
<v Speaker 3>got it, got it, Let's take note of that for

529
00:25:53.599 --> 00:25:56.799
<v Speaker 3>next time. So kind of forcing yourself to ignore your

530
00:25:56.839 --> 00:25:59.759
<v Speaker 3>wanting system and just act through this very rational path

531
00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:04.599
<v Speaker 3>but then also mindfully noticing what you really like. Those

532
00:26:04.680 --> 00:26:07.160
<v Speaker 3>things can start to update your craving system at least

533
00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:09.319
<v Speaker 3>a little bit. But the systems are always going to

534
00:26:09.319 --> 00:26:12.720
<v Speaker 3>be disconnected, unfortunately. Is just our minds are not really

535
00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:15.680
<v Speaker 3>designed that well for wanting all the things that we like.

536
00:26:17.160 --> 00:26:19.880
<v Speaker 2>What about like our self image? How much does that

537
00:26:19.920 --> 00:26:23.839
<v Speaker 2>play into our happiness? And how much does monitoring our

538
00:26:24.519 --> 00:26:27.079
<v Speaker 2>likes and our social media and you know, looking at

539
00:26:27.160 --> 00:26:30.160
<v Speaker 2>pictures of our face through a distorted camera lens, how

540
00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:32.599
<v Speaker 2>much is that affecting our happiness and how we see

541
00:26:32.599 --> 00:26:33.279
<v Speaker 2>our lives.

542
00:26:33.960 --> 00:26:36.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Well, one another dumb feature of the way our

543
00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:39.000
<v Speaker 3>minds work when it comes to happiness is the fact

544
00:26:39.480 --> 00:26:42.680
<v Speaker 3>that we don't necessarily think of the good things are

545
00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:44.960
<v Speaker 3>in our life in objective terms. We think of them

546
00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:48.359
<v Speaker 3>in relative terms. And that means that seeing ourselves on

547
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:50.680
<v Speaker 3>social media, seeing what's going on with other people on

548
00:26:50.720 --> 00:26:54.079
<v Speaker 3>social media, that can really affect our happiness in some

549
00:26:54.240 --> 00:26:56.960
<v Speaker 3>dumb ways. But take your body image for example, right,

550
00:26:57.000 --> 00:26:59.200
<v Speaker 3>you know, you might objectively think you have a certain

551
00:26:59.240 --> 00:27:01.359
<v Speaker 3>you know, body that's good or not so good or whatever,

552
00:27:01.880 --> 00:27:05.200
<v Speaker 3>But we don't necessarily think in terms of our objective sense.

553
00:27:05.240 --> 00:27:07.160
<v Speaker 3>We think relative. And so as soon as you go

554
00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:09.599
<v Speaker 3>on Instagram and you look at, you know, the bikini

555
00:27:09.640 --> 00:27:12.599
<v Speaker 3>pictures of someone else, or take your objective sense of

556
00:27:12.599 --> 00:27:14.519
<v Speaker 3>how good your vacation was or how rich you were,

557
00:27:14.599 --> 00:27:17.240
<v Speaker 3>how nice your house is. Then you know, you watch

558
00:27:17.319 --> 00:27:20.200
<v Speaker 3>the celebrity you know, TikTok feeds and you're like, oh, like,

559
00:27:20.359 --> 00:27:22.759
<v Speaker 3>my house isn't that good or my vacation sucked and

560
00:27:22.799 --> 00:27:26.640
<v Speaker 3>things like that. We're really susceptible to social comparison when

561
00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:29.559
<v Speaker 3>it comes to evaluating anything in our life. Our abilities

562
00:27:29.599 --> 00:27:32.519
<v Speaker 3>are our amount of money or salary or a house, whatever,

563
00:27:33.079 --> 00:27:36.519
<v Speaker 3>and that means that we can easily start feeling bad

564
00:27:36.920 --> 00:27:40.279
<v Speaker 3>even when we're in objectively a good situation. My favorite

565
00:27:40.359 --> 00:27:43.200
<v Speaker 3>extreme example of this was a study that looked at

566
00:27:43.240 --> 00:27:48.079
<v Speaker 3>the emotions of different Olympic medalists. So probably gold medalists

567
00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:50.680
<v Speaker 3>probably feeling pretty happy, like you know, makes sense, they

568
00:27:50.680 --> 00:27:53.640
<v Speaker 3>just want a gold medal, Yeah, But what about silver medalists,

569
00:27:53.720 --> 00:27:56.440
<v Speaker 3>you know, maybe slightly less happy. But what research is

570
00:27:56.480 --> 00:27:58.720
<v Speaker 3>find is that if you look at the emotional expressions

571
00:27:58.759 --> 00:28:00.839
<v Speaker 3>this silver medalists show on the stand.

572
00:28:04.559 --> 00:28:08.039
<v Speaker 4>Axana Bayul has won the gold in backstage, Nancy Kerrigan

573
00:28:08.240 --> 00:28:14.880
<v Speaker 4>and Shannlou exchange congratulations and consolations for silver and broad.

574
00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:19.000
<v Speaker 3>They're not just slightly less happy, they're actively feeling awful.

575
00:28:19.079 --> 00:28:23.960
<v Speaker 3>They're showing signs of extreme sadness, contempt anger. Like it's

576
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:27.759
<v Speaker 3>not just like slightly less happy, it's actively negative. Wow.

577
00:28:28.279 --> 00:28:29.680
<v Speaker 3>If you think about what I just said, it it

578
00:28:29.759 --> 00:28:32.640
<v Speaker 3>sort of makes sense, right, because the silver medalist isn't

579
00:28:32.640 --> 00:28:34.799
<v Speaker 3>thinking I'm objectively the second best in the world, I

580
00:28:34.839 --> 00:28:38.799
<v Speaker 3>objectively beat like the other seven billion people, like whatever

581
00:28:38.799 --> 00:28:41.880
<v Speaker 3>my sport is. They're just thinking about one reference point

582
00:28:41.880 --> 00:28:44.160
<v Speaker 3>that makes them feel awful, the gold. They were almost

583
00:28:44.200 --> 00:28:45.720
<v Speaker 3>there and they didn't get it, so they feel like

584
00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:48.200
<v Speaker 3>a loser. But what's striking is if you look at

585
00:28:48.240 --> 00:28:52.119
<v Speaker 3>the bronze medalist, you see something completely different because their

586
00:28:52.160 --> 00:28:54.640
<v Speaker 3>reference point isn't the gold right like they were I

587
00:28:54.680 --> 00:28:57.000
<v Speaker 3>don't know, like you know, thirty seconds off where they

588
00:28:57.079 --> 00:28:59.960
<v Speaker 3>like lost two matches or something. Their reference point is like,

589
00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:02.160
<v Speaker 3>if I had just messed up a little bit more,

590
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:04.799
<v Speaker 3>I would go home completely empty handed, right like I

591
00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:07.240
<v Speaker 3>wouldn't even be on the stand at all. Right, And

592
00:29:07.279 --> 00:29:10.079
<v Speaker 3>so they're showing signs of true ecstasy. In some cases,

593
00:29:10.119 --> 00:29:12.640
<v Speaker 3>they're showing expressions that are even happier than the gold

594
00:29:12.680 --> 00:29:15.880
<v Speaker 3>medalist because their reference point is like, Whew, look how

595
00:29:15.960 --> 00:29:18.480
<v Speaker 3>lucky I am. Like that almost totally screwed up.

596
00:29:18.839 --> 00:29:22.920
<v Speaker 2>So Nancy Kerrigan displayed a famously sour face receiving the

597
00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:26.480
<v Speaker 2>silver in nineteen ninety four, and then in nineteen ninety five,

598
00:29:27.000 --> 00:29:29.279
<v Speaker 2>a study was published in the Journal of Personal and

599
00:29:29.319 --> 00:29:33.559
<v Speaker 2>Social Psychology title quote when less is more counterfactual thinking

600
00:29:33.720 --> 00:29:39.640
<v Speaker 2>and satisfaction among Olympic medalists. Counterfactual thinking, huh, that is

601
00:29:39.960 --> 00:29:43.720
<v Speaker 2>the sinking, gnawing feeling of what could have been or wow,

602
00:29:43.839 --> 00:29:47.440
<v Speaker 2>a fudged it up. So one researcher, doctor Andrea Lewangrath,

603
00:29:47.599 --> 00:29:51.319
<v Speaker 2>a University of Iowa Marketing assistant professor, did follow up

604
00:29:51.319 --> 00:29:55.039
<v Speaker 2>studies on metalists to confirm that first study, and recently

605
00:29:55.039 --> 00:29:57.519
<v Speaker 2>said in an interview that you don't have to be

606
00:29:57.559 --> 00:29:59.920
<v Speaker 2>the second best out of eight billion. There are all

607
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.640
<v Speaker 2>always going to be people who we can compare ourselves

608
00:30:02.640 --> 00:30:06.519
<v Speaker 2>to that are better, faster, smarter, or whatever, and that

609
00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:09.319
<v Speaker 2>can make us feel relatively bad. So what is the

610
00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:13.799
<v Speaker 2>lesson here? Think twice before you get a no regrets tattoo,

611
00:30:14.039 --> 00:30:19.119
<v Speaker 2>and maybe consider a counter your counterfactuals tattoo instead, and

612
00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:21.799
<v Speaker 2>once the sting wears off, celebrate your silvers.

613
00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:25.640
<v Speaker 3>You did it. And I love this metaphor because you know,

614
00:30:25.880 --> 00:30:29.279
<v Speaker 3>it shows us that it doesn't matter what's going on objectively,

615
00:30:29.319 --> 00:30:32.440
<v Speaker 3>it matters who we're comparing ourself against. And that means

616
00:30:32.599 --> 00:30:35.079
<v Speaker 3>sometimes we can be an objectively a really good spot

617
00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:36.960
<v Speaker 3>but feel kind of awful about it.

618
00:30:37.119 --> 00:30:41.720
<v Speaker 2>And what about chemicals? Where are just the chemical hands

619
00:30:41.759 --> 00:30:44.640
<v Speaker 2>that we were a dealt? When do those have the

620
00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:47.359
<v Speaker 2>reins on the amount of happiness we feel?

621
00:30:48.440 --> 00:30:50.440
<v Speaker 3>So, you know, we could think about the chemicals we're

622
00:30:50.440 --> 00:30:52.240
<v Speaker 3>dealt in a couple ways. Often we think about it

623
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:54.839
<v Speaker 3>in terms of, you know, our kind of genetic lottery,

624
00:30:54.920 --> 00:30:57.519
<v Speaker 3>right you are you naturally a happy person or you

625
00:30:57.599 --> 00:31:00.160
<v Speaker 3>naturally a kind of down in the dumb person, And

626
00:31:00.200 --> 00:31:03.279
<v Speaker 3>just like circumstances, what we find is that there is

627
00:31:03.319 --> 00:31:05.799
<v Speaker 3>a genetic component to happiness, you know. So there, you know,

628
00:31:05.799 --> 00:31:09.200
<v Speaker 3>if you're born from a long line of overly optimistic people,

629
00:31:09.200 --> 00:31:11.839
<v Speaker 3>you're more likely to be overly optimistic. But the amount

630
00:31:11.920 --> 00:31:16.039
<v Speaker 3>of that heritability is tiny, what you know, It's probably

631
00:31:16.119 --> 00:31:18.920
<v Speaker 3>tinier than something like height or weight in the US,

632
00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:21.039
<v Speaker 3>and especially with like weight we know that that's something

633
00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:24.920
<v Speaker 3>that obviously your environment can shape a lot, and so there,

634
00:31:24.960 --> 00:31:28.240
<v Speaker 3>while there is some heritable component to happiness, it's much

635
00:31:28.279 --> 00:31:30.640
<v Speaker 3>tinier than we think. And this is really good news, right.

636
00:31:30.640 --> 00:31:32.000
<v Speaker 3>You know, it would suck if you're like, hey, you're

637
00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:33.599
<v Speaker 3>just born to be happy or born to be not

638
00:31:33.640 --> 00:31:36.200
<v Speaker 3>so happy, and that's it. What the science is really

639
00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:39.440
<v Speaker 3>telling us is that there's some heritable component, but there's

640
00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:42.319
<v Speaker 3>a lot of action that we can take through our mindsets,

641
00:31:42.359 --> 00:31:45.599
<v Speaker 3>through our behaviors to change things around. And that's great because,

642
00:31:45.720 --> 00:31:48.680
<v Speaker 3>you know, putting this all together, it means our genetics

643
00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:52.000
<v Speaker 3>don't predict our happiness that much, and our circumstances don't

644
00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:54.000
<v Speaker 3>predict our happiness that much. Like we don't, you know,

645
00:31:54.079 --> 00:31:57.319
<v Speaker 3>necessarily get to control whether we're born into you know,

646
00:31:57.799 --> 00:32:00.839
<v Speaker 3>the complete luxury or born into poverty. We don't necessarily

647
00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:03.960
<v Speaker 3>get to control what our genetic heritage is. But we

648
00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:07.160
<v Speaker 3>all can completely control our mindsets and our behavior. So

649
00:32:07.519 --> 00:32:10.200
<v Speaker 3>it's good news. The bad news is that changing those

650
00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:12.720
<v Speaker 3>mindsets and behavior, as you probably guess, takes a lot

651
00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:13.079
<v Speaker 3>of work.

652
00:32:13.400 --> 00:32:16.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, do you ever have students who either come to

653
00:32:16.480 --> 00:32:20.519
<v Speaker 2>you or who you hear about who aren't quite sure

654
00:32:20.559 --> 00:32:23.559
<v Speaker 2>if it's time for medical intervention or is it time

655
00:32:23.599 --> 00:32:27.319
<v Speaker 2>for just trying to hack their habits. How do we

656
00:32:27.400 --> 00:32:30.160
<v Speaker 2>as individuals make that call?

657
00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:32.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and I think I'm glad you brought this up

658
00:32:32.680 --> 00:32:34.720
<v Speaker 3>because I think this is really important. You know, so

659
00:32:34.759 --> 00:32:37.000
<v Speaker 3>many of the hacks you know, we are talking about

660
00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:40.079
<v Speaker 3>today are ones that really can improve your well being.

661
00:32:40.599 --> 00:32:42.839
<v Speaker 3>But you know, there's some points when you need to hack,

662
00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:44.960
<v Speaker 3>and there's some points where you you know, need something

663
00:32:45.119 --> 00:32:47.400
<v Speaker 3>you know that's much deeper. And the analogy like to

664
00:32:47.480 --> 00:32:48.960
<v Speaker 3>use is, you know, imagine you go into your doctor

665
00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:50.640
<v Speaker 3>and you say, hey, doctor, I have high blood pressure.

666
00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:52.839
<v Speaker 3>You know what should I do? Your doctor might say, hey,

667
00:32:52.880 --> 00:32:54.799
<v Speaker 3>you know, get on the treadmill and exercise a little

668
00:32:54.799 --> 00:32:56.440
<v Speaker 3>bit more, you know, eat you know, here, eat these

669
00:32:56.440 --> 00:32:58.759
<v Speaker 3>fruits and vegetables every day or something. But if you

670
00:32:58.799 --> 00:33:01.039
<v Speaker 3>walked into your doctor's office and you're saying, doctor, you know,

671
00:33:01.039 --> 00:33:03.279
<v Speaker 3>I'm having chest pains, I'm having a cute cardiac arrest

672
00:33:03.400 --> 00:33:05.400
<v Speaker 3>right now, your doctor wouldn't be like, well, get on

673
00:33:05.400 --> 00:33:07.319
<v Speaker 3>the treadmill, you know, like for half hour day, like

674
00:33:07.519 --> 00:33:11.000
<v Speaker 3>your doctor would. You know, an emergency intervention would take place.

675
00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:13.839
<v Speaker 3>And I think it's worth recognizing that our mental health

676
00:33:13.920 --> 00:33:16.039
<v Speaker 3>works the same way. The kinds of things I'm talking

677
00:33:16.119 --> 00:33:19.519
<v Speaker 3>about are in some sense preventative medicine. You know, they're

678
00:33:19.559 --> 00:33:21.960
<v Speaker 3>there so that you don't wind up in a state

679
00:33:22.039 --> 00:33:25.799
<v Speaker 3>of kind of acutely feeling clinically depressed or suicidal or

680
00:33:25.839 --> 00:33:28.319
<v Speaker 3>something worse. Right, you know, you they're there so that

681
00:33:28.359 --> 00:33:30.200
<v Speaker 3>you can protect your mental health so you don't get

682
00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:33.799
<v Speaker 3>to that point. But if you're experiencing true depression, you know,

683
00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:37.079
<v Speaker 3>hard for you to do your daily activities, or anxiety

684
00:33:37.160 --> 00:33:39.960
<v Speaker 3>so powerful that you're experiencing panic attacks, that's a sign

685
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:42.319
<v Speaker 3>that you might need professional help. All the hacks I

686
00:33:42.359 --> 00:33:44.480
<v Speaker 3>mentioned are good, you know, once you get out of

687
00:33:44.519 --> 00:33:47.200
<v Speaker 3>that acute state, just like the heart attack person, as

688
00:33:47.240 --> 00:33:50.039
<v Speaker 3>soon as you get out of experiencing cardiac arrest, the

689
00:33:50.079 --> 00:33:51.880
<v Speaker 3>next step is going to be to go back to

690
00:33:51.920 --> 00:33:54.119
<v Speaker 3>so some of those preventative measures once you kind of

691
00:33:54.119 --> 00:33:56.200
<v Speaker 3>get out of the hospital. And I think the same

692
00:33:56.240 --> 00:33:59.079
<v Speaker 3>thing is true for clinical parts of these diseases. You

693
00:33:59.200 --> 00:34:01.440
<v Speaker 3>might also want to go back to experience and gratitude

694
00:34:01.440 --> 00:34:04.119
<v Speaker 3>and meditating in these things, but it is important to

695
00:34:04.160 --> 00:34:07.240
<v Speaker 3>get acute care. If the mental health situation you're in

696
00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:08.079
<v Speaker 3>is acute.

697
00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:10.760
<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's great to know for people. You may know

698
00:34:10.800 --> 00:34:12.920
<v Speaker 2>when you hit this level because your friends will say,

699
00:34:12.960 --> 00:34:14.920
<v Speaker 2>I think you should see a doctor, dude, which is

700
00:34:14.920 --> 00:34:16.760
<v Speaker 2>what happened to me when I was going through the

701
00:34:16.760 --> 00:34:18.960
<v Speaker 2>hardest parts of my life and also had a couple

702
00:34:19.119 --> 00:34:22.599
<v Speaker 2>medical conditions that turned my brain into bees. The doctor

703
00:34:22.679 --> 00:34:25.119
<v Speaker 2>was like, well, shucks, you need more than a car wash.

704
00:34:25.239 --> 00:34:27.760
<v Speaker 2>Let's check under the hood there, buddy. But yes, what

705
00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:32.559
<v Speaker 2>is the technique for sloughing off persistent, crusty, muddy feelings

706
00:34:32.800 --> 00:34:35.679
<v Speaker 2>when it comes to things like gratitude and meditation? How

707
00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:38.199
<v Speaker 2>much is effective? Like how much can we get away

708
00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:41.039
<v Speaker 2>with if we're feeling reel down to the dumps but

709
00:34:41.119 --> 00:34:43.760
<v Speaker 2>we're low on motivation. How much gratitude is enough? How

710
00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:46.159
<v Speaker 2>much meditation is enough? How much exercise it's enough?

711
00:34:46.760 --> 00:34:48.199
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean, I think you know. One of the

712
00:34:48.280 --> 00:34:51.679
<v Speaker 3>nice things about this being all this stuff being evidence

713
00:34:51.719 --> 00:34:54.599
<v Speaker 3>based is that allows you to kind of do your

714
00:34:54.639 --> 00:34:55.599
<v Speaker 3>own experimentation.

715
00:34:55.880 --> 00:34:56.039
<v Speaker 2>Right.

716
00:34:56.079 --> 00:34:58.639
<v Speaker 3>The answer of how much meditation you you know, particular

717
00:34:58.719 --> 00:35:01.960
<v Speaker 3>podcast listener need might depend on all kinds of things, right,

718
00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:04.039
<v Speaker 3>and so the key is to sort of try it out.

719
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:07.000
<v Speaker 3>One thing we know, though, is that sometimes it takes

720
00:35:07.079 --> 00:35:10.039
<v Speaker 3>less than you really expect. Take something like gratitude. There's

721
00:35:10.039 --> 00:35:12.760
<v Speaker 3>evidence that just scribbling down three things that you're grateful

722
00:35:12.840 --> 00:35:15.599
<v Speaker 3>for every day that can be enough to significantly boost

723
00:35:15.639 --> 00:35:17.320
<v Speaker 3>your well being in as little as two weeks, Like

724
00:35:17.639 --> 00:35:20.679
<v Speaker 3>doesn't take that much time. There's evidence, for example, from

725
00:35:20.760 --> 00:35:23.239
<v Speaker 3>Hetty Kober's lab at Yale, that even as little as

726
00:35:23.599 --> 00:35:26.280
<v Speaker 3>ten minutes of meditation a day can really start to

727
00:35:26.320 --> 00:35:29.519
<v Speaker 3>improve your well being and some mental health symptoms. Right.

728
00:35:29.760 --> 00:35:32.480
<v Speaker 2>For more on this, feel free to peruse papers such

729
00:35:32.519 --> 00:35:37.480
<v Speaker 2>as Brief Mindfulness Meditation Improves Attention in Novices and let

730
00:35:37.519 --> 00:35:42.159
<v Speaker 2>it Be Mindful Acceptance Downregulates pain and negative emotion, both

731
00:35:42.199 --> 00:35:45.760
<v Speaker 2>published by doctor Hettikober. So scientists in lab coats have

732
00:35:45.880 --> 00:35:49.960
<v Speaker 2>dedicated their research and their grant money budgets to proving

733
00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:53.840
<v Speaker 2>that yes, meditation does help. It's free, it takes less

734
00:35:53.840 --> 00:35:56.239
<v Speaker 2>time than making a sandwich. We can do this.

735
00:35:56.360 --> 00:35:59.480
<v Speaker 3>Let's do this, and so it doesn't take long. What

736
00:35:59.519 --> 00:36:02.559
<v Speaker 3>it takes some consistency. And so my instinct is like,

737
00:36:02.760 --> 00:36:04.599
<v Speaker 3>because sometimes we hear these tips like all right, I'm

738
00:36:04.599 --> 00:36:07.079
<v Speaker 3>gonna drop everything and do you know like seventy hours

739
00:36:07.079 --> 00:36:10.719
<v Speaker 3>of meditation. It's like no, no, no, just start really small,

740
00:36:11.039 --> 00:36:14.400
<v Speaker 3>allow yourself to do these baby steps and test it out.

741
00:36:14.519 --> 00:36:16.320
<v Speaker 3>How are you feeling? Are you feeling better? Is it

742
00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:19.239
<v Speaker 3>making is it making things better? Is it making things worse?

743
00:36:19.679 --> 00:36:22.960
<v Speaker 3>And so allowing ourself the self compassion to engage in

744
00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:25.119
<v Speaker 3>these baby steps, I think is really important.

745
00:36:25.840 --> 00:36:27.960
<v Speaker 2>I think that's so true. Whenever I get out of

746
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:31.360
<v Speaker 2>the habit of running, which is now, I'll go do

747
00:36:31.440 --> 00:36:34.079
<v Speaker 2>a lap at the reservoir. But I'll have to just

748
00:36:34.119 --> 00:36:36.079
<v Speaker 2>tell myself the first couple of times I do it,

749
00:36:36.119 --> 00:36:38.320
<v Speaker 2>the first month, even as long as I just get

750
00:36:38.360 --> 00:36:41.480
<v Speaker 2>around the reservoir, even crawling is fine. You know, like

751
00:36:42.360 --> 00:36:45.199
<v Speaker 2>expecting yourself to get back into running at a certain

752
00:36:45.239 --> 00:36:49.280
<v Speaker 2>pace or doing things you know whole hog can be

753
00:36:49.360 --> 00:36:51.880
<v Speaker 2>so intimidating you just want to give up right away.

754
00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:54.800
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And I think you know, we're not good at

755
00:36:54.920 --> 00:36:58.000
<v Speaker 3>understanding the amount of self compassion we need to motivate ourselves.

756
00:36:58.039 --> 00:36:59.599
<v Speaker 3>I think again, this is a spot where I think

757
00:36:59.599 --> 00:37:01.320
<v Speaker 3>our mind get it wrong. We think the right way

758
00:37:01.360 --> 00:37:04.880
<v Speaker 3>to motivate ourselves is to become these horrid drill instructors

759
00:37:04.920 --> 00:37:06.800
<v Speaker 3>and like yell at ourselves in our head in a

760
00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:08.920
<v Speaker 3>way that we'd never speak to a friend or a

761
00:37:09.000 --> 00:37:11.360
<v Speaker 3>child or someone we cared about hopefully, right, but that

762
00:37:11.559 --> 00:37:14.199
<v Speaker 3>kind of just doesn't work. That convinces us that it's

763
00:37:14.280 --> 00:37:16.920
<v Speaker 3>not good to try. We end up setting our standards lower,

764
00:37:17.199 --> 00:37:21.079
<v Speaker 3>We end up procrastinating more. Self compassionate turns out, can

765
00:37:21.119 --> 00:37:24.559
<v Speaker 3>actually allow you to engage in new habits better and

766
00:37:24.599 --> 00:37:27.480
<v Speaker 3>more effectively and with less procrastination. That's not our theory.

767
00:37:27.519 --> 00:37:29.800
<v Speaker 3>We like go for the drill sergeant approach. Yeah, but

768
00:37:29.840 --> 00:37:32.599
<v Speaker 3>we'd be better off kind of, you know, mindfully paying

769
00:37:32.599 --> 00:37:35.000
<v Speaker 3>attention to what's going on and recognizing that we're just

770
00:37:35.079 --> 00:37:37.239
<v Speaker 3>human and giving ourselves a little bit more of a

771
00:37:37.239 --> 00:37:38.119
<v Speaker 3>benefit of a doubt.

772
00:37:38.599 --> 00:37:41.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like, I never want to obey a dick who's

773
00:37:41.800 --> 00:37:45.519
<v Speaker 2>yelling at me, So why do I do that to myself? Right?

774
00:37:45.880 --> 00:37:48.079
<v Speaker 3>And we're like, you know, the dickiest of dicks is

775
00:37:48.119 --> 00:37:50.599
<v Speaker 3>often the person in our head, right. You know It's like, wait,

776
00:37:50.639 --> 00:37:52.519
<v Speaker 3>I would never say, you know, that thing I just

777
00:37:52.559 --> 00:37:54.400
<v Speaker 3>said to myself in my head. I would never say

778
00:37:54.400 --> 00:37:56.440
<v Speaker 3>that to another human. Why am I talking to myself

779
00:37:56.440 --> 00:37:56.800
<v Speaker 3>that way?

780
00:37:57.039 --> 00:38:01.119
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I would want to slap my own for saying that,

781
00:38:01.679 --> 00:38:05.199
<v Speaker 2>you know, Like I'm yeah, I'm the hardest on myself

782
00:38:06.159 --> 00:38:08.119
<v Speaker 2>more than I would ever tolerate in somebody else, which

783
00:38:08.199 --> 00:38:10.800
<v Speaker 2>is so funny that we do that. But you know,

784
00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:13.480
<v Speaker 2>you mentioned the term positive psychology before, and I'm so

785
00:38:13.559 --> 00:38:16.119
<v Speaker 2>curious about that because I feel like I can't tell

786
00:38:16.159 --> 00:38:20.480
<v Speaker 2>if it's flimplam or not that positive psychology is totally

787
00:38:20.519 --> 00:38:25.079
<v Speaker 2>like a legit practice or is it something along the

788
00:38:25.119 --> 00:38:28.239
<v Speaker 2>lines of like toxic positivity at all costs? Where what

789
00:38:28.360 --> 00:38:30.880
<v Speaker 2>is positive psychology? What's what do scientist think of it?

790
00:38:31.559 --> 00:38:36.159
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean the term positive psychology began when scientist

791
00:38:36.320 --> 00:38:39.519
<v Speaker 3>Marley Seligmann, who kind of invented the field or thought

792
00:38:39.519 --> 00:38:41.800
<v Speaker 3>that is the founder of the field. You really had

793
00:38:41.800 --> 00:38:44.719
<v Speaker 3>this intuition that so much of psychology is about, you

794
00:38:44.760 --> 00:38:46.800
<v Speaker 3>know what he called kind of below baseline, right like

795
00:38:46.800 --> 00:38:49.360
<v Speaker 3>I'm trying to cure depression, I'm trying to cure anxiety

796
00:38:49.480 --> 00:38:51.880
<v Speaker 3>or something like that. But he realized that we didn't

797
00:38:52.039 --> 00:38:53.880
<v Speaker 3>he have is He called it a good science of

798
00:38:53.960 --> 00:38:56.239
<v Speaker 3>kind of going above baseline. You know, there's baseline, and

799
00:38:56.280 --> 00:38:58.320
<v Speaker 3>then there's feeling like you're flourishing, you know, then there's

800
00:38:58.360 --> 00:39:02.400
<v Speaker 3>getting social connection, like feeling present, experiencing joy, and so

801
00:39:02.719 --> 00:39:06.360
<v Speaker 3>he really christened this name of this field positive psychology,

802
00:39:06.800 --> 00:39:09.480
<v Speaker 3>in order to focus on those things. But I think

803
00:39:09.519 --> 00:39:11.880
<v Speaker 3>positive psychology gets the wrong rap. I think there's this

804
00:39:11.960 --> 00:39:13.920
<v Speaker 3>idea that like, well, you have to only be positive.

805
00:39:14.360 --> 00:39:16.840
<v Speaker 3>But you know, if you look at what this research

806
00:39:16.920 --> 00:39:19.760
<v Speaker 3>is really showing, there's a lot of evidence that a real,

807
00:39:19.920 --> 00:39:23.800
<v Speaker 3>true happy life, a successful life, a healthy life involves

808
00:39:23.880 --> 00:39:27.480
<v Speaker 3>experiencing negative emotions, allowing those not running away from them.

809
00:39:27.559 --> 00:39:30.239
<v Speaker 3>There's you know, lots of evidence suggesting that there are

810
00:39:30.280 --> 00:39:33.039
<v Speaker 3>different techniques you can use to navigate those emotions and

811
00:39:33.079 --> 00:39:35.719
<v Speaker 3>sort of feel them without getting like destroyed by them.

812
00:39:36.199 --> 00:39:37.559
<v Speaker 3>And so I think, you know, when you hear these

813
00:39:37.599 --> 00:39:41.000
<v Speaker 3>terms positive psychology, positivity, they can kind of feel a

814
00:39:41.039 --> 00:39:44.079
<v Speaker 3>little cheesy and get a bad rap that it's like positive, positive,

815
00:39:44.079 --> 00:39:47.280
<v Speaker 3>positive all the time. But but that's not really when

816
00:39:47.280 --> 00:39:50.000
<v Speaker 3>you dig into the field. What it's showing my sense

817
00:39:50.079 --> 00:39:52.199
<v Speaker 3>is that you know, the whole goal is to get

818
00:39:52.239 --> 00:39:54.840
<v Speaker 3>to you know, this idea of you Diaminia, this rich,

819
00:39:55.039 --> 00:39:58.159
<v Speaker 3>meaningful life, and you do that not through you know,

820
00:39:58.239 --> 00:40:00.760
<v Speaker 3>putting blinders on and being a polym and like you know,

821
00:40:00.800 --> 00:40:03.440
<v Speaker 3>trying only to experience happy, happy, happy, no matter what.

822
00:40:03.519 --> 00:40:05.480
<v Speaker 3>You do that by having a full life, which is

823
00:40:05.559 --> 00:40:07.719
<v Speaker 3>rich with lots of emotions and experiences.

824
00:40:08.960 --> 00:40:12.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's that's such a good point about letting yourself

825
00:40:12.639 --> 00:40:17.239
<v Speaker 2>feel those negative emotions, but not necessarily like succumbing to them,

826
00:40:17.559 --> 00:40:20.199
<v Speaker 2>you know, not letting them win all the time.

827
00:40:20.760 --> 00:40:22.800
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And I think we, you know, we get that wrong.

828
00:40:22.920 --> 00:40:26.039
<v Speaker 3>Like I think our instinct again, is this idea that

829
00:40:26.360 --> 00:40:28.760
<v Speaker 3>while there's some negative emotion, I should run away from that,

830
00:40:28.920 --> 00:40:30.840
<v Speaker 3>or the right move would be to sort of suppress it,

831
00:40:30.880 --> 00:40:33.719
<v Speaker 3>you know, stiff upper lip. But there's evidence from James

832
00:40:33.760 --> 00:40:37.280
<v Speaker 3>Gross at Stanford that the act of suppressing our emotions

833
00:40:37.400 --> 00:40:41.239
<v Speaker 3>can lead to things like increased cardiac stress, or even

834
00:40:41.360 --> 00:40:44.239
<v Speaker 3>can cause us to have some problems with memory and

835
00:40:44.280 --> 00:40:46.360
<v Speaker 3>decision making. You do worse on a memory test when

836
00:40:46.360 --> 00:40:49.360
<v Speaker 3>you're trying to suppress some negative emotion, So it has

837
00:40:49.480 --> 00:40:52.679
<v Speaker 3>negative costs. We're much better off if we can find

838
00:40:52.719 --> 00:40:56.920
<v Speaker 3>ways to regulate and allow those emotions right to experience them,

839
00:40:57.039 --> 00:40:59.760
<v Speaker 3>give them some time, and then be self compassionate and

840
00:41:00.039 --> 00:41:02.280
<v Speaker 3>sure ourselves through them.

841
00:41:02.280 --> 00:41:04.599
<v Speaker 2>Are there any myths about happiness that you find yourself

842
00:41:04.639 --> 00:41:06.000
<v Speaker 2>constantly having to bust.

843
00:41:05.840 --> 00:41:07.679
<v Speaker 3>All the time? I mean, you are as we've been

844
00:41:07.679 --> 00:41:09.599
<v Speaker 3>talking about, Like our minds lie to us all the

845
00:41:09.599 --> 00:41:11.360
<v Speaker 3>time about this stuff. I mean, the biggest one, the

846
00:41:11.360 --> 00:41:13.880
<v Speaker 3>one that my students fall prey to so much, is

847
00:41:13.920 --> 00:41:17.079
<v Speaker 3>that happiness is about circumstances. You know, that happiness is

848
00:41:17.079 --> 00:41:19.440
<v Speaker 3>about money. In particular, my Yale students, we're all thinking

849
00:41:19.440 --> 00:41:21.199
<v Speaker 3>about what job they want to get when they get

850
00:41:21.239 --> 00:41:23.519
<v Speaker 3>out of this Ivy League university, and what salary they're

851
00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:25.480
<v Speaker 3>going to get in things. You know, you tell them

852
00:41:25.480 --> 00:41:28.719
<v Speaker 3>that after a certain reasonable middle class income, money doesn't

853
00:41:28.719 --> 00:41:30.800
<v Speaker 3>matter for happiness anymore, and they want to fight you

854
00:41:30.840 --> 00:41:32.239
<v Speaker 3>on it. They're like, well, you know, what if I

855
00:41:32.280 --> 00:41:34.119
<v Speaker 3>spend it differently, or what if I went on vacation

856
00:41:34.239 --> 00:41:36.280
<v Speaker 3>to these places over and over again. You're like, Nope,

857
00:41:36.280 --> 00:41:38.599
<v Speaker 3>it doesn't cowt like or at the very least, It's

858
00:41:38.599 --> 00:41:40.960
<v Speaker 3>not so much that money doesn't matter for happiness. It's

859
00:41:41.039 --> 00:41:43.239
<v Speaker 3>just there are so many other things you could focus

860
00:41:43.320 --> 00:41:44.599
<v Speaker 3>on that matter much much more.

861
00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:45.199
<v Speaker 2>You know.

862
00:41:45.360 --> 00:41:47.599
<v Speaker 3>Maybe yeah, you know, if you go up like that

863
00:41:47.719 --> 00:41:49.719
<v Speaker 3>minuscule amount, if you put all this work in and

864
00:41:49.760 --> 00:41:52.239
<v Speaker 3>all this time in to earn more, maybe you get

865
00:41:52.239 --> 00:41:55.519
<v Speaker 3>a teeny bomp. Maybe maybe not, But like if you

866
00:41:55.639 --> 00:41:58.119
<v Speaker 3>just wrote down three things you're grateful for, that would

867
00:41:58.119 --> 00:42:00.679
<v Speaker 3>work way more effectively, like we know that empirically.

868
00:42:01.400 --> 00:42:03.400
<v Speaker 2>Is there a test where people can go figure out

869
00:42:03.880 --> 00:42:04.960
<v Speaker 2>how happy I am? I?

870
00:42:05.239 --> 00:42:07.679
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, there's also different spots online where you can do that.

871
00:42:07.719 --> 00:42:10.719
<v Speaker 3>In fact, Marty Seligman, who we mentioned this, founder of

872
00:42:10.760 --> 00:42:14.599
<v Speaker 3>Positive Psychology, has a website called Authentic Happiness. If you

873
00:42:14.679 --> 00:42:16.599
<v Speaker 3>kind of google the authentic Happiness test.

874
00:42:17.159 --> 00:42:19.280
<v Speaker 2>So yes, I checked this out, and if you google

875
00:42:19.440 --> 00:42:23.679
<v Speaker 2>Authentic Happiness, you can help fellow you demonologists by taking

876
00:42:23.960 --> 00:42:29.000
<v Speaker 2>scored questionnaires. They have Authentic Happiness Inventory, the General Happiness Scale,

877
00:42:29.360 --> 00:42:34.360
<v Speaker 2>Positive and Negative Effect Questionnaire, the four Dice Emotions Questionnaire.

878
00:42:34.719 --> 00:42:38.920
<v Speaker 2>I myself opted for the classic, the Authentic Happiness Inventory,

879
00:42:39.159 --> 00:42:41.760
<v Speaker 2>and on a scale of one to five, Jared, what

880
00:42:41.840 --> 00:42:47.599
<v Speaker 2>do you think? I got three? You know me too today? Yeah,

881
00:42:47.639 --> 00:42:50.360
<v Speaker 2>three point oh eight. So maybe I'll meditate a bunch

882
00:42:50.360 --> 00:42:52.079
<v Speaker 2>and then I'll take it in a few months. Also,

883
00:42:52.159 --> 00:42:54.480
<v Speaker 2>I have no idea what all those different tests do,

884
00:42:54.840 --> 00:42:57.159
<v Speaker 2>but I'm sure that the scientists know, and that's all

885
00:42:57.199 --> 00:42:57.719
<v Speaker 2>that matters.

886
00:42:58.239 --> 00:43:00.440
<v Speaker 3>You know, you don't need a fancy test really, kind

887
00:43:00.480 --> 00:43:03.000
<v Speaker 3>of all things considered, how happy are you with your life?

888
00:43:03.159 --> 00:43:04.840
<v Speaker 3>And this is the beauty. There's not for bitter or

889
00:43:04.880 --> 00:43:07.440
<v Speaker 3>for worse, there's not a thermometer that we can use

890
00:43:07.480 --> 00:43:09.679
<v Speaker 3>for happiness as scientists where we put it in like boop,

891
00:43:09.719 --> 00:43:12.920
<v Speaker 3>you're ninety eight point six, you know happy? Uh? You know,

892
00:43:13.000 --> 00:43:15.760
<v Speaker 3>you just have to answer it for yourself. And that

893
00:43:16.360 --> 00:43:19.119
<v Speaker 3>kind of feels, you know a little bit not as

894
00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:22.559
<v Speaker 3>legit scientifically, but in practice. That's what we're really trying

895
00:43:22.599 --> 00:43:24.679
<v Speaker 3>to get at. We're trying to get at your own

896
00:43:24.719 --> 00:43:27.239
<v Speaker 3>perception of how things are going. And if things are

897
00:43:27.239 --> 00:43:28.440
<v Speaker 3>going well, then they're going well.

898
00:43:28.840 --> 00:43:32.559
<v Speaker 2>Uh. Can I ask you some listener questions? Sure, But

899
00:43:32.679 --> 00:43:36.320
<v Speaker 2>before that, let's aim a money canon at a worthy cause.

900
00:43:36.599 --> 00:43:40.079
<v Speaker 2>This week, doctor Santos chose donors Choose dot org, which

901
00:43:40.159 --> 00:43:43.599
<v Speaker 2>lets teachers list their classroom needs and then regular j

902
00:43:43.679 --> 00:43:46.280
<v Speaker 2>Bronis like you and me can make their dreams come true.

903
00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:50.320
<v Speaker 2>So Donors Choose has fulfilled one point seven million classroom projects,

904
00:43:50.480 --> 00:43:53.599
<v Speaker 2>from butterfly cocoons to robotics kits, to pencils and paper

905
00:43:53.800 --> 00:43:57.599
<v Speaker 2>and books with diverse characters. Okay, so modern day Ali

906
00:43:57.639 --> 00:44:00.159
<v Speaker 2>here saying that when this first aired, we funded a

907
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:02.760
<v Speaker 2>few classrooms, and this time around we picked a few

908
00:44:02.760 --> 00:44:06.360
<v Speaker 2>new ones to fund Missus Alvarado's classroom at Mains Elementary

909
00:44:06.360 --> 00:44:09.559
<v Speaker 2>school in Calexico, California, needed funding to purchase some reading

910
00:44:09.599 --> 00:44:13.400
<v Speaker 2>comprehension passages to motivate students to read and write. She

911
00:44:13.519 --> 00:44:17.360
<v Speaker 2>also needed new chairs for the classroom for which apparently

912
00:44:17.599 --> 00:44:20.480
<v Speaker 2>the United States does not have enough money, so teachers

913
00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:22.320
<v Speaker 2>have to buy these things. So happy to find that

914
00:44:22.320 --> 00:44:26.320
<v Speaker 2>for Missus Alvarado. Another classroom project funded was Missus Myers

915
00:44:26.360 --> 00:44:29.320
<v Speaker 2>at their Good Marshall Elementary School in Moro, Georgia, who

916
00:44:29.360 --> 00:44:32.519
<v Speaker 2>says that research has shown that hunger has a variety

917
00:44:32.559 --> 00:44:34.960
<v Speaker 2>of detrimental effects on kids and that some of her

918
00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:38.760
<v Speaker 2>students come from less fortunate homes and require additional resources

919
00:44:38.800 --> 00:44:41.199
<v Speaker 2>and support. And we also tossed in a donation to

920
00:44:41.239 --> 00:44:45.280
<v Speaker 2>Missus Perez Copperfield Elementary School and Converse, Texas for snacks

921
00:44:45.280 --> 00:44:48.039
<v Speaker 2>for her students that may have financial barriers that limit

922
00:44:48.039 --> 00:44:50.599
<v Speaker 2>their access to food and the snacks will provide them

923
00:44:50.599 --> 00:44:53.320
<v Speaker 2>with brain power to focus while also removing the social

924
00:44:53.320 --> 00:44:55.960
<v Speaker 2>stigma of going without a snack during the day. So

925
00:44:56.199 --> 00:44:58.679
<v Speaker 2>thanks for doctor Santos for the heads up on donorschoos

926
00:44:58.760 --> 00:45:02.880
<v Speaker 2>dot org and sponsors who made this round of donations possible.

927
00:45:03.519 --> 00:45:05.760
<v Speaker 1>Get value you can't argue with at Tesco with their

928
00:45:05.800 --> 00:45:08.880
<v Speaker 1>amazing club card prices. Serve up something special with our

929
00:45:08.880 --> 00:45:11.599
<v Speaker 1>finest meal deal for two starring one main, two sides

930
00:45:11.679 --> 00:45:14.519
<v Speaker 1>and dessert for only sixteen eu ro like succulent Board,

931
00:45:14.519 --> 00:45:17.159
<v Speaker 1>be approved Virus Shined the Strip loin Steaks with peppercorn

932
00:45:17.159 --> 00:45:20.920
<v Speaker 1>butter or Delicious Virus Chicken Parmegama served with creamy potato

933
00:45:20.920 --> 00:45:24.079
<v Speaker 1>gretam and our mix of rainbow root vegetables and enjoy

934
00:45:24.119 --> 00:45:28.159
<v Speaker 1>Goozillionaire or Solder Caramel cheesecake. Can't argue with that shop

935
00:45:28.159 --> 00:45:31.679
<v Speaker 1>in store or online Tesco. Every Little helps available to

936
00:45:31.719 --> 00:45:34.199
<v Speaker 1>most doores. Prices very in express okay.

937
00:45:34.320 --> 00:45:38.239
<v Speaker 2>Happy to ask your questions for Doctor Santos okay. Ariol

938
00:45:38.280 --> 00:45:41.800
<v Speaker 2>Reagan wants to know do animals experience happiness? Are they

939
00:45:41.800 --> 00:45:42.679
<v Speaker 2>happier than people?

940
00:45:43.360 --> 00:45:45.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's really hard to ask animals about their happiness

941
00:45:46.039 --> 00:45:48.199
<v Speaker 3>because you know, I can do the self report measure

942
00:45:48.239 --> 00:45:50.599
<v Speaker 3>with you. It's harder to do that with a banana

943
00:45:50.679 --> 00:45:54.119
<v Speaker 3>slug or banoba or something. Physiologically, we know they go

944
00:45:54.159 --> 00:45:56.239
<v Speaker 3>through a lot of the same states as humans, but

945
00:45:56.320 --> 00:45:58.760
<v Speaker 3>it's hard to know for sure if those physiological states

946
00:45:58.760 --> 00:46:01.519
<v Speaker 3>correlate with this subjective state. I only know that you

947
00:46:01.559 --> 00:46:03.840
<v Speaker 3>have the subjective state because you tell me. And so

948
00:46:03.960 --> 00:46:07.920
<v Speaker 3>even though everything we can objectively look at like suggest

949
00:46:07.960 --> 00:46:11.760
<v Speaker 3>that it, you know, we were feeling the same thing subjectively,

950
00:46:11.800 --> 00:46:13.039
<v Speaker 3>it's really hard to know for sure.

951
00:46:14.320 --> 00:46:17.519
<v Speaker 2>So one thing some scientists try to observe is play

952
00:46:17.559 --> 00:46:21.000
<v Speaker 2>behavior like hop it around and running, chewing on stuff.

953
00:46:21.079 --> 00:46:24.079
<v Speaker 2>My tiny poodle Angel she rubs her butt against stuff

954
00:46:24.320 --> 00:46:26.800
<v Speaker 2>like a tire or my shoe. That's her version of

955
00:46:26.840 --> 00:46:30.920
<v Speaker 2>typing hashtag blessed Portney Gratziana wants to know can anxious

956
00:46:31.000 --> 00:46:31.960
<v Speaker 2>people be happy?

957
00:46:33.119 --> 00:46:35.320
<v Speaker 3>I think anxious people can definitely be happy. I think

958
00:46:35.320 --> 00:46:37.760
<v Speaker 3>there are a lot of strategies we can use to

959
00:46:37.880 --> 00:46:40.440
<v Speaker 3>regulate and allow our anxiety. I think part of the

960
00:46:40.480 --> 00:46:43.519
<v Speaker 3>problem with anxiety is that we try to run away

961
00:46:43.519 --> 00:46:45.880
<v Speaker 3>from it, that we like, you know, try to avoid

962
00:46:45.880 --> 00:46:48.360
<v Speaker 3>it at all costs. But that's yet another emotion that

963
00:46:48.400 --> 00:46:50.320
<v Speaker 3>I think we can kind of sit with. Like feeling

964
00:46:50.320 --> 00:46:52.719
<v Speaker 3>really anxious right now, it's nay out of ten, you

965
00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:55.360
<v Speaker 3>can sort of surf that anxiety urge and get to

966
00:46:55.400 --> 00:46:57.639
<v Speaker 3>the other side and then do some work to sort

967
00:46:57.639 --> 00:47:00.000
<v Speaker 3>of nurture yourself. So I think you can be anxios

968
00:47:00.199 --> 00:47:02.119
<v Speaker 3>and happy, just like you can be sad and happy,

969
00:47:02.119 --> 00:47:03.519
<v Speaker 3>and you can be angry and happy.

970
00:47:03.800 --> 00:47:03.960
<v Speaker 2>You know.

971
00:47:04.039 --> 00:47:07.079
<v Speaker 3>To have a truly happy life requires experiencing all those

972
00:47:07.119 --> 00:47:10.159
<v Speaker 3>emotions but finding ways to kind of navigate them so

973
00:47:10.199 --> 00:47:11.039
<v Speaker 3>they don't take over.

974
00:47:11.360 --> 00:47:14.559
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm oh, that's really well said. Aiden Paco and

975
00:47:14.639 --> 00:47:17.159
<v Speaker 2>Meg G want to know, is it flim flam that

976
00:47:17.320 --> 00:47:20.480
<v Speaker 2>smiling actually makes you happier or is that a truth fact?

977
00:47:20.800 --> 00:47:23.440
<v Speaker 2>Meg says and laughing, and a lot of other folks

978
00:47:23.960 --> 00:47:27.280
<v Speaker 2>looking at you, patrons say see demos one oh one,

979
00:47:27.519 --> 00:47:31.559
<v Speaker 2>Alexis Wallack and Ashley Herbal wa No, can you fake

980
00:47:31.599 --> 00:47:32.400
<v Speaker 2>it till you make it?

981
00:47:33.079 --> 00:47:35.920
<v Speaker 3>There's a lot of feedback that we get from other

982
00:47:35.960 --> 00:47:41.559
<v Speaker 3>people's emotions, from like our own feedback from our own actions,

983
00:47:41.760 --> 00:47:43.960
<v Speaker 3>you know, So pretending you're happy, acting like you're happy

984
00:47:44.000 --> 00:47:45.719
<v Speaker 3>can often put you in a happy state, in part

985
00:47:45.719 --> 00:47:48.360
<v Speaker 3>because it puts the people around you in a happy state.

986
00:47:48.440 --> 00:47:51.159
<v Speaker 3>And we know that there's a lot of evidence for

987
00:47:51.199 --> 00:47:54.639
<v Speaker 3>what's called emotional contagion. Right, just like, if I'm around

988
00:47:54.639 --> 00:47:56.800
<v Speaker 3>happy people, I'm just going to catch the emotions of

989
00:47:56.840 --> 00:47:59.440
<v Speaker 3>that happy person and the reverse, right, if I'm around

990
00:47:59.760 --> 00:48:02.360
<v Speaker 3>those negative nelly is like, that's gonna I'm going to

991
00:48:02.440 --> 00:48:04.880
<v Speaker 3>catch that too, And so there is a kind of

992
00:48:04.880 --> 00:48:06.960
<v Speaker 3>fake it till you make it. There's associate with the

993
00:48:07.000 --> 00:48:09.360
<v Speaker 3>people who have the emotions that you want to experience.

994
00:48:09.719 --> 00:48:12.280
<v Speaker 3>It's a powerful way to kind of use your situation,

995
00:48:12.519 --> 00:48:15.199
<v Speaker 3>your social environment to build in well being.

996
00:48:16.280 --> 00:48:20.599
<v Speaker 2>Is there anything you can do for a friend who

997
00:48:20.920 --> 00:48:25.719
<v Speaker 2>is feeling really unhappy to help them out as well? Yeah?

998
00:48:25.760 --> 00:48:28.280
<v Speaker 3>I think you know. The way to do it, I

999
00:48:28.280 --> 00:48:30.840
<v Speaker 3>think really is to try to bring some of these

1000
00:48:30.880 --> 00:48:33.480
<v Speaker 3>practices in naturally, right. I mean, first of all, give

1001
00:48:33.480 --> 00:48:35.960
<v Speaker 3>that friends some social connection, right, just the very act

1002
00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:38.440
<v Speaker 3>of you talking to them, being around them, spending time

1003
00:48:38.480 --> 00:48:40.920
<v Speaker 3>with them is going to improve their well being. I

1004
00:48:40.920 --> 00:48:44.599
<v Speaker 3>think you can also bring your attitudes of that are positive, right.

1005
00:48:44.840 --> 00:48:47.159
<v Speaker 3>You know, if you're expressing things that you're grateful for,

1006
00:48:47.559 --> 00:48:50.159
<v Speaker 3>you know, if you're savoring things and feeling a little

1007
00:48:50.199 --> 00:48:52.719
<v Speaker 3>bit present. You know that that kind of thing is

1008
00:48:52.800 --> 00:48:55.599
<v Speaker 3>naturally going to rub off on them because of emotional contagion,

1009
00:48:55.639 --> 00:48:58.159
<v Speaker 3>because of behavioral contagion. But the biggest thing you can

1010
00:48:58.199 --> 00:49:00.320
<v Speaker 3>do is, I think check in, you know, check in

1011
00:49:00.360 --> 00:49:02.960
<v Speaker 3>and allow yourself to be present and be there for

1012
00:49:03.079 --> 00:49:05.639
<v Speaker 3>someone who needs you. Really powerful way to use your

1013
00:49:05.639 --> 00:49:07.440
<v Speaker 3>happiness to positively affect others.

1014
00:49:07.880 --> 00:49:09.800
<v Speaker 2>So if you ever think, why would I check up

1015
00:49:09.800 --> 00:49:12.239
<v Speaker 2>on someone I don't know how to fix things, don't worry.

1016
00:49:12.400 --> 00:49:15.280
<v Speaker 2>Just be alive and in their orbit and listen or

1017
00:49:15.880 --> 00:49:18.320
<v Speaker 2>tell them about how lizards have two dicks. That's what

1018
00:49:18.400 --> 00:49:22.400
<v Speaker 2>I do. Patrick Javronia's first time question asker wants to

1019
00:49:22.440 --> 00:49:25.519
<v Speaker 2>know happiness and the microbiome connection. What can we do

1020
00:49:25.599 --> 00:49:29.199
<v Speaker 2>to improve our microbiome is their connection? What's the deal?

1021
00:49:29.880 --> 00:49:32.360
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Great, great question, And it's something that we don't

1022
00:49:32.400 --> 00:49:35.679
<v Speaker 3>have that much good data on yet. You know, everything

1023
00:49:35.719 --> 00:49:39.119
<v Speaker 3>we know suggests that microbiome effects all kinds of stuff.

1024
00:49:39.159 --> 00:49:41.679
<v Speaker 3>It would be surprising, I think, in some ways if

1025
00:49:41.719 --> 00:49:44.320
<v Speaker 3>it didn't affect our well being and our happiness. But

1026
00:49:44.559 --> 00:49:46.760
<v Speaker 3>you know, this is just a new area of work

1027
00:49:46.800 --> 00:49:48.840
<v Speaker 3>where we're learning new things all the time and we

1028
00:49:48.880 --> 00:49:51.000
<v Speaker 3>don't really have a great verdict yet. But you know,

1029
00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:53.880
<v Speaker 3>if you want to throw research money onto something that

1030
00:49:53.920 --> 00:49:56.280
<v Speaker 3>I think will be really telling in the next ten

1031
00:49:56.360 --> 00:49:58.960
<v Speaker 3>years of happiness science, I think microbiome might be a

1032
00:49:59.000 --> 00:49:59.800
<v Speaker 3>spot to do that.

1033
00:50:00.239 --> 00:50:02.000
<v Speaker 2>Nice you can just get in on poop on the

1034
00:50:02.000 --> 00:50:04.599
<v Speaker 2>ground floor. Let's ride this thing to the top.

1035
00:50:04.840 --> 00:50:08.000
<v Speaker 3>Everyoneop samples from very happy people. I'm in.

1036
00:50:08.719 --> 00:50:11.960
<v Speaker 2>I think that you literally can buy poop like on

1037
00:50:12.079 --> 00:50:15.679
<v Speaker 2>the black market for your own at home, like of

1038
00:50:15.760 --> 00:50:19.159
<v Speaker 2>fecal transplants ps. Of course I looked this up and

1039
00:50:19.199 --> 00:50:22.760
<v Speaker 2>getting an enema with someone else's poop. It's called fecal

1040
00:50:23.039 --> 00:50:27.320
<v Speaker 2>microbiotic transplantation. And in the Microbiology Gut Biome episode from

1041
00:50:27.360 --> 00:50:30.800
<v Speaker 2>November twenty eighteen, we go into detail about how our

1042
00:50:30.800 --> 00:50:34.880
<v Speaker 2>microbiomes are suffering from processed foods and artificial ingredients and

1043
00:50:35.079 --> 00:50:39.039
<v Speaker 2>overuse of antibiotics for things like viral infections that don't

1044
00:50:39.079 --> 00:50:42.400
<v Speaker 2>need antibiotics. So, given that up to ninety percent of

1045
00:50:42.440 --> 00:50:46.840
<v Speaker 2>our serotonin is synthesized in our simmering pooh filled guts

1046
00:50:47.280 --> 00:50:52.239
<v Speaker 2>diy fmts, do it yourself fecal microbiotic transplantations as they're called.

1047
00:50:52.280 --> 00:50:54.679
<v Speaker 2>They're getting more and more common as doctors are still

1048
00:50:54.719 --> 00:50:57.519
<v Speaker 2>reluctant to shove poo up our butts, even when we

1049
00:50:57.559 --> 00:51:02.039
<v Speaker 2>ask nicely. So according to a Journal of gastro Entrology

1050
00:51:02.119 --> 00:51:06.000
<v Speaker 2>article called Understanding the Scope of do it Yourself fecal

1051
00:51:06.079 --> 00:51:09.519
<v Speaker 2>microbiota transplant, eighty two percent of folks who tried it

1052
00:51:09.559 --> 00:51:13.000
<v Speaker 2>felt better afterwards, and ninety two percent of those knew

1053
00:51:13.039 --> 00:51:15.480
<v Speaker 2>their stool donner who I don't know. I guess you

1054
00:51:15.559 --> 00:51:18.800
<v Speaker 2>find by asking your friends who seems chill and has

1055
00:51:18.880 --> 00:51:21.599
<v Speaker 2>good poops, So you can ask a doctor to screen

1056
00:51:21.639 --> 00:51:24.360
<v Speaker 2>a donor sample and see if they'll do it. Otherwise,

1057
00:51:24.400 --> 00:51:26.880
<v Speaker 2>there's plenty of instructions on the internet. Apparently you buy

1058
00:51:26.960 --> 00:51:29.559
<v Speaker 2>a blunder, a goodwill or something, and then you maybe

1059
00:51:29.559 --> 00:51:32.079
<v Speaker 2>burn it later. None of this is my beeswax. Ask

1060
00:51:32.119 --> 00:51:35.599
<v Speaker 2>your doctors, don't sue me or make me a smoothie later.

1061
00:51:35.760 --> 00:51:38.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm good. Rahala wants to know first time question asker,

1062
00:51:38.360 --> 00:51:39.880
<v Speaker 2>is there any truth to the notion that people who

1063
00:51:39.920 --> 00:51:42.639
<v Speaker 2>are generally happy tend to live longer? And I want

1064
00:51:42.679 --> 00:51:45.920
<v Speaker 2>to say, my dad has cancer and his oncologists were

1065
00:51:45.960 --> 00:51:50.400
<v Speaker 2>saying just positivity is really helpful for patients in general. Okay,

1066
00:51:50.480 --> 00:51:53.400
<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty four. Ali here, and my dad did pass

1067
00:51:53.440 --> 00:51:55.360
<v Speaker 2>away in the summer of twenty twenty two, and I

1068
00:51:55.440 --> 00:51:59.079
<v Speaker 2>talk about hospice tips and getting through grief in an

1069
00:51:59.159 --> 00:52:02.280
<v Speaker 2>episode July twenty twenty two. We'll link that in the

1070
00:52:02.280 --> 00:52:04.960
<v Speaker 2>show notes for anyone who's going through something similar. But

1071
00:52:05.039 --> 00:52:07.960
<v Speaker 2>I will say that my dad outlived his prognosis by

1072
00:52:08.159 --> 00:52:12.960
<v Speaker 2>eight years. And he stayed absolutely boldly optimistic throughout all

1073
00:52:13.000 --> 00:52:15.039
<v Speaker 2>of his treatment, and we all tried to booy his

1074
00:52:15.079 --> 00:52:19.679
<v Speaker 2>spirits in that direction. Do we find that statistically sound?

1075
00:52:20.920 --> 00:52:23.519
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean, there are actually some strong evidence that

1076
00:52:23.599 --> 00:52:27.679
<v Speaker 3>happiness seems to affect our longevity in super interesting ways.

1077
00:52:27.719 --> 00:52:29.599
<v Speaker 3>One of the most famous studies on this looked at

1078
00:52:30.400 --> 00:52:33.559
<v Speaker 3>a group of individuals that had really similar lifestyles. Because,

1079
00:52:33.559 --> 00:52:34.960
<v Speaker 3>if you think about it, this is a hard study

1080
00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:37.000
<v Speaker 3>to do, right we want to ask, like, our happier

1081
00:52:37.039 --> 00:52:39.159
<v Speaker 3>people living longer, but of course there's lots of things

1082
00:52:39.199 --> 00:52:41.880
<v Speaker 3>that affect whether you live longer. And so the researchers

1083
00:52:41.920 --> 00:52:44.920
<v Speaker 3>tried to find a population that had like reasonably low

1084
00:52:45.199 --> 00:52:47.840
<v Speaker 3>risk factors and a really similar lifestyle, and they hit

1085
00:52:47.920 --> 00:52:51.360
<v Speaker 3>upon studying nuns. The way they did this was that

1086
00:52:51.400 --> 00:52:54.039
<v Speaker 3>they went back to nuns journals that they had in

1087
00:52:54.079 --> 00:52:56.559
<v Speaker 3>their twenties. I guess nuns, at least in one of

1088
00:52:56.559 --> 00:52:59.199
<v Speaker 3>these convents kind of did some journaling when they first

1089
00:52:59.280 --> 00:53:01.360
<v Speaker 3>joined the nunnery. So you go back when the nuns

1090
00:53:01.360 --> 00:53:03.039
<v Speaker 3>are in their twenties and you look at their journals

1091
00:53:03.079 --> 00:53:04.960
<v Speaker 3>and you do like a text analysis, like, you know,

1092
00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:07.920
<v Speaker 3>you run the text of their journals through something that

1093
00:53:07.920 --> 00:53:10.039
<v Speaker 3>pulls out all the happy words and pulls out all

1094
00:53:10.039 --> 00:53:12.199
<v Speaker 3>the kind of negative words or just like any emotion

1095
00:53:12.280 --> 00:53:16.360
<v Speaker 3>words whatsoever. And then you use those textual analyses to

1096
00:53:16.400 --> 00:53:18.519
<v Speaker 3>predict how many of the nuns live into their eighties

1097
00:53:18.519 --> 00:53:21.280
<v Speaker 3>and nineties. And what you find is that the happier

1098
00:53:21.360 --> 00:53:24.920
<v Speaker 3>nuns are just living surprisingly longer, you know, in some cases,

1099
00:53:24.960 --> 00:53:27.880
<v Speaker 3>like decades longer than the nuns on average, who are

1100
00:53:27.960 --> 00:53:30.960
<v Speaker 3>just sadder, which is really quite striking. It suggests that

1101
00:53:31.000 --> 00:53:34.159
<v Speaker 3>happiness right might really be affecting like how long we live.

1102
00:53:35.239 --> 00:53:39.119
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, important important to focus on, not just because

1103
00:53:39.159 --> 00:53:42.159
<v Speaker 3>happiness feels good, but it might make you live longer too.

1104
00:53:42.639 --> 00:53:46.360
<v Speaker 2>Patron Anika Callen asked why are feelings of happiness stronger

1105
00:53:46.400 --> 00:53:50.119
<v Speaker 2>when you're younger? And RL Shaoul pelegg Page and r

1106
00:53:50.199 --> 00:53:52.320
<v Speaker 2>J Deroutge wanted to know if happier people tend to

1107
00:53:52.360 --> 00:53:55.119
<v Speaker 2>be of a certain gender or age. RJ wants to

1108
00:53:55.119 --> 00:53:59.440
<v Speaker 2>make sure they don't become a grumpy crank who hates everyone. Yeah,

1109
00:53:59.440 --> 00:54:02.400
<v Speaker 2>I wonder do we find that people get happier as

1110
00:54:02.440 --> 00:54:05.639
<v Speaker 2>they age or crankier as they age?

1111
00:54:05.840 --> 00:54:09.039
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? On average, the data really suggests happier. There's some

1112
00:54:09.079 --> 00:54:12.320
<v Speaker 3>interesting like lifespan work on happiness. You know, you're kind

1113
00:54:12.320 --> 00:54:14.440
<v Speaker 3>of happy when you're young, and then as you become

1114
00:54:14.519 --> 00:54:17.559
<v Speaker 3>like an adult in middle aged, especially after you have children,

1115
00:54:17.599 --> 00:54:20.159
<v Speaker 3>in fact, you know, happiness tends to dip. But then

1116
00:54:20.199 --> 00:54:22.639
<v Speaker 3>as soon as you kind of go back to empty nesting,

1117
00:54:22.679 --> 00:54:24.920
<v Speaker 3>you know, when the kids go off to college, then

1118
00:54:25.159 --> 00:54:27.519
<v Speaker 3>the slope of happiness kind of goes back up, And

1119
00:54:27.599 --> 00:54:29.880
<v Speaker 3>so it's something to look forward to as you age.

1120
00:54:29.960 --> 00:54:33.119
<v Speaker 3>On average, older people tend to be happier, how.

1121
00:54:33.039 --> 00:54:34.920
<v Speaker 2>You know, I wasn't sure about that and kids, and

1122
00:54:34.960 --> 00:54:37.599
<v Speaker 2>I hadn't thought to ask that. But I have friends

1123
00:54:37.599 --> 00:54:39.440
<v Speaker 2>who have kids. I have friends who don't have kids.

1124
00:54:39.480 --> 00:54:42.679
<v Speaker 2>I myself have a daughter. She's a dog, and that's

1125
00:54:42.760 --> 00:54:46.599
<v Speaker 2>which she's probably the only kid I'm going to have.

1126
00:54:46.719 --> 00:54:51.320
<v Speaker 2>And she's an animal. But I don't know, Like in general,

1127
00:54:52.119 --> 00:54:54.599
<v Speaker 2>is that the case is just the stress of having kids,

1128
00:54:54.599 --> 00:54:57.599
<v Speaker 2>but then the satisfaction that you did it later, so

1129
00:54:57.599 --> 00:54:59.960
<v Speaker 2>it's kind of like a like it balances. Yeah.

1130
00:55:00.039 --> 00:55:01.559
<v Speaker 3>I think this is one of the spots where those

1131
00:55:01.559 --> 00:55:04.199
<v Speaker 3>two constructs of happiness can be so powerful, the sort

1132
00:55:04.239 --> 00:55:06.639
<v Speaker 3>of happiness in your life and happiness with your life.

1133
00:55:06.840 --> 00:55:09.320
<v Speaker 3>Lots of evidence that kids kind of boost the happiness

1134
00:55:09.360 --> 00:55:10.880
<v Speaker 3>with your life. You know, you get the sense of

1135
00:55:10.920 --> 00:55:13.159
<v Speaker 3>meaning and so on. But if you look at people's

1136
00:55:13.199 --> 00:55:15.639
<v Speaker 3>time budgets in terms of what they spend their time on,

1137
00:55:16.159 --> 00:55:18.599
<v Speaker 3>the thing that often feels the most miserable is spending

1138
00:55:18.599 --> 00:55:20.480
<v Speaker 3>time with your kids. Like in your life, you know,

1139
00:55:20.519 --> 00:55:22.840
<v Speaker 3>when you're picking up you know, the toys and dealing

1140
00:55:22.880 --> 00:55:25.400
<v Speaker 3>with the dirty diapers and things. That is the thing

1141
00:55:25.400 --> 00:55:30.360
<v Speaker 3>that people seem to on average enjoy kind of the least.

1142
00:55:30.519 --> 00:55:33.679
<v Speaker 3>It ranks up there with like commuting and like shopping

1143
00:55:33.719 --> 00:55:37.119
<v Speaker 3>for groceries. You know, not like a heavy endorsement, but

1144
00:55:37.159 --> 00:55:39.280
<v Speaker 3>that's kind of complicated. I think that's one of these

1145
00:55:39.320 --> 00:55:42.039
<v Speaker 3>reasons that you know, these constructs are kind of helpful.

1146
00:55:42.079 --> 00:55:44.039
<v Speaker 3>There are certain things that you do for meaning that

1147
00:55:44.079 --> 00:55:46.599
<v Speaker 3>in the moment don't feel great, but they wind up

1148
00:55:46.599 --> 00:55:49.280
<v Speaker 3>giving you meaning. And I think the tips are powerful too,

1149
00:55:49.320 --> 00:55:51.440
<v Speaker 3>because the air hacks you can do to enjoy your

1150
00:55:51.480 --> 00:55:54.000
<v Speaker 3>time more with your kids. Right, if you have strategies

1151
00:55:54.039 --> 00:55:57.719
<v Speaker 3>for managing stress and negative emotions, that can probably make

1152
00:55:57.760 --> 00:55:59.480
<v Speaker 3>your time with your kids even happier.

1153
00:56:00.079 --> 00:56:03.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm so in awe of people who do have kids,

1154
00:56:03.280 --> 00:56:06.239
<v Speaker 2>just because it seems so challenging, and I know myself,

1155
00:56:06.280 --> 00:56:08.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm like so scatterbrained that I feel like I just

1156
00:56:08.639 --> 00:56:10.840
<v Speaker 2>don't necessarily feel like that would be my strong suit.

1157
00:56:11.039 --> 00:56:13.480
<v Speaker 2>But there are some people who love kiteboarding and others

1158
00:56:13.480 --> 00:56:15.519
<v Speaker 2>who are like, no, thank you, Like I would rather

1159
00:56:15.559 --> 00:56:17.079
<v Speaker 2>be on the beach reading a book. So it really

1160
00:56:17.159 --> 00:56:17.920
<v Speaker 2>depends on what you like.

1161
00:56:18.119 --> 00:56:20.519
<v Speaker 3>You know, and I think you're doing it right because

1162
00:56:20.519 --> 00:56:24.039
<v Speaker 3>there's a lot of evidence that the furry babies, especially dogs,

1163
00:56:24.079 --> 00:56:26.920
<v Speaker 3>there's more research on dogs, really do have a significant

1164
00:56:26.920 --> 00:56:30.000
<v Speaker 3>effect on happiness. But again that research is interesting because

1165
00:56:30.039 --> 00:56:33.440
<v Speaker 3>it's not the dogs per se. It's kind of the

1166
00:56:33.480 --> 00:56:35.920
<v Speaker 3>benefits that we get from dogs. So dogs get us

1167
00:56:35.920 --> 00:56:39.199
<v Speaker 3>out exercising. Dogs allow us to make more social connections.

1168
00:56:39.239 --> 00:56:41.119
<v Speaker 3>They are a social connection, but then they also let

1169
00:56:41.199 --> 00:56:44.480
<v Speaker 3>us socially connect with people. They make us more present.

1170
00:56:44.559 --> 00:56:46.199
<v Speaker 3>You know, when you're with your dog and you know

1171
00:56:46.199 --> 00:56:48.119
<v Speaker 3>you're playing fetch with your dog, it's hard to like

1172
00:56:48.440 --> 00:56:51.159
<v Speaker 3>be distracted or checking your email, right, And so it

1173
00:56:51.199 --> 00:56:54.880
<v Speaker 3>seems like dogs don't necessarily inherently make us happier, but

1174
00:56:54.920 --> 00:56:57.039
<v Speaker 3>they make us do a lot of the practices I've

1175
00:56:57.079 --> 00:56:59.639
<v Speaker 3>mentioned that lead to higher happiness.

1176
00:57:00.159 --> 00:57:03.320
<v Speaker 2>First, time. Question asker Alana Rickman asks has the rapid

1177
00:57:03.400 --> 00:57:05.880
<v Speaker 2>development in technology in the last few years had an

1178
00:57:05.880 --> 00:57:10.320
<v Speaker 2>overall increase or decrease in people's happiness and patrons. Diana

1179
00:57:10.719 --> 00:57:15.800
<v Speaker 2>ash Gelhouse, Jenna Mandola, Lucas O'Neill, Nicole Kleinman all echoed that,

1180
00:57:16.159 --> 00:57:17.920
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, I wonder too in terms of being in

1181
00:57:17.960 --> 00:57:21.639
<v Speaker 2>the moment, is being on our phone does that take

1182
00:57:21.719 --> 00:57:24.880
<v Speaker 2>us out of the moment? Is that take us into

1183
00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:29.480
<v Speaker 2>a kind of another like universe or galaxy of what's

1184
00:57:29.480 --> 00:57:32.960
<v Speaker 2>happening in this digital realm versus what's happening around us.

1185
00:57:34.280 --> 00:57:36.480
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean when you think about technology, it's worth

1186
00:57:36.519 --> 00:57:39.320
<v Speaker 3>remembering we can do technology for We can use technology

1187
00:57:39.320 --> 00:57:41.000
<v Speaker 3>for all kinds of things, right, you know, we could

1188
00:57:41.079 --> 00:57:43.559
<v Speaker 3>use technology to scribble in a gratitude journal, or I

1189
00:57:43.559 --> 00:57:45.280
<v Speaker 3>could pick up a phone and call my mom, right

1190
00:57:45.320 --> 00:57:48.400
<v Speaker 3>and have a social connection. Often we're not using our

1191
00:57:48.440 --> 00:57:51.480
<v Speaker 3>technology in ways that boost happiness. We could, but often

1192
00:57:51.559 --> 00:57:54.760
<v Speaker 3>where checking social media, you're getting this sort of nutri

1193
00:57:54.800 --> 00:57:58.880
<v Speaker 3>suite social connection, but not real stuff. I'm distracted and

1194
00:57:58.920 --> 00:58:01.039
<v Speaker 3>not paying attention to the real things in life. I

1195
00:58:01.039 --> 00:58:03.199
<v Speaker 3>could be present, looking at the trees or talking to

1196
00:58:03.239 --> 00:58:05.960
<v Speaker 3>the people around me. But you know, I'm scrolling through,

1197
00:58:06.079 --> 00:58:08.119
<v Speaker 3>you know, some dumb thing on the Internet. And so

1198
00:58:08.719 --> 00:58:11.719
<v Speaker 3>it's not that technology in and of itself is bad.

1199
00:58:12.039 --> 00:58:15.599
<v Speaker 3>It's just that the way we use it often is bad,

1200
00:58:15.960 --> 00:58:18.920
<v Speaker 3>and it's kind of built to make it harder for

1201
00:58:19.039 --> 00:58:21.960
<v Speaker 3>us to use it. Well, you know, every app is

1202
00:58:22.000 --> 00:58:25.079
<v Speaker 3>in some ways competing for your attention, right They want

1203
00:58:25.079 --> 00:58:27.400
<v Speaker 3>to notify you of stuff and have the dings that

1204
00:58:27.480 --> 00:58:29.800
<v Speaker 3>sort of give you a little burst of reward every

1205
00:58:29.880 --> 00:58:32.480
<v Speaker 3>time you get some new piece of information. And that

1206
00:58:32.599 --> 00:58:34.800
<v Speaker 3>means that our apps and our technology is kind of

1207
00:58:34.880 --> 00:58:39.079
<v Speaker 3>constantly competing with real life, you know, for our attention. Sadly,

1208
00:58:39.119 --> 00:58:41.840
<v Speaker 3>I think there's domains in which the technology is sort

1209
00:58:41.880 --> 00:58:44.400
<v Speaker 3>of winning, you know, which which makes sense.

1210
00:58:44.440 --> 00:58:44.599
<v Speaker 2>You know.

1211
00:58:45.079 --> 00:58:48.480
<v Speaker 3>At my podcast, I talked to the University of British

1212
00:58:48.480 --> 00:58:51.840
<v Speaker 3>Columbia researcher Liz Done, and she had this lovely quote

1213
00:58:51.840 --> 00:58:54.480
<v Speaker 3>where she's like, you know, imagine if to your next

1214
00:58:54.639 --> 00:58:57.280
<v Speaker 3>you know, like dinner date with your husband, like you

1215
00:58:57.320 --> 00:58:59.719
<v Speaker 3>took a big wheelbarrow, and in the wheelbarrow it was

1216
00:59:00.119 --> 00:59:02.639
<v Speaker 3>you know, DVDs of every movie you've ever seen, you know,

1217
00:59:02.679 --> 00:59:05.440
<v Speaker 3>a big pile of CDs of every song in the universe,

1218
00:59:05.519 --> 00:59:09.159
<v Speaker 3>like printouts of every family reunion ever, like you know,

1219
00:59:09.239 --> 00:59:12.360
<v Speaker 3>printouts of all your emails, like you know, big piles

1220
00:59:12.360 --> 00:59:14.519
<v Speaker 3>of porn right, Like you know, if there was a

1221
00:59:14.559 --> 00:59:17.079
<v Speaker 3>wheelbarrow with all that stuff next to you, you'd be

1222
00:59:17.159 --> 00:59:19.119
<v Speaker 3>distract You'd want to be going through it the whole dinner.

1223
00:59:19.199 --> 00:59:20.559
<v Speaker 3>I'd be like, oh, let me go back to my

1224
00:59:20.639 --> 00:59:24.199
<v Speaker 3>family reunion dat. Yeah. But like what she says, like

1225
00:59:24.239 --> 00:59:26.639
<v Speaker 3>your brain isn't stupid, Like your brain knows that on

1226
00:59:26.679 --> 00:59:28.800
<v Speaker 3>the other side of your iPhone is all that stuff.

1227
00:59:29.400 --> 00:59:32.320
<v Speaker 3>So there's something constantly in your brain that has to

1228
00:59:32.320 --> 00:59:34.440
<v Speaker 3>be like no, no, no, no, pay attention to this conversation

1229
00:59:34.559 --> 00:59:37.639
<v Speaker 3>because you know, don't check your email, don't check your email,

1230
00:59:37.800 --> 00:59:40.719
<v Speaker 3>and that kind of is constantly a little bit depleting.

1231
00:59:40.800 --> 00:59:44.440
<v Speaker 3>It's definitely distracting, but it's a little bit depleting as well.

1232
00:59:45.079 --> 00:59:47.199
<v Speaker 2>Just this weird real barrow.

1233
00:59:48.400 --> 00:59:50.079
<v Speaker 3>I mean when you think about what's on the other

1234
00:59:50.119 --> 00:59:52.599
<v Speaker 3>you know, like weather predict you know, like printouts of

1235
00:59:52.639 --> 00:59:57.719
<v Speaker 3>weather predictions, every every TikTok video and the history of

1236
00:59:57.800 --> 01:00:00.159
<v Speaker 3>the internet, right, I mean it's a huge it's a

1237
01:00:00.360 --> 01:00:03.400
<v Speaker 3>huge slot machine and sadly, you know, I mean I

1238
01:00:03.480 --> 01:00:05.679
<v Speaker 3>love my husband. We have some great conversations, But is

1239
01:00:05.800 --> 01:00:09.440
<v Speaker 3>every conversation with my husband more interesting than literally everything

1240
01:00:09.480 --> 01:00:12.840
<v Speaker 3>on the internet, Like you know, not necessarily. And what

1241
01:00:12.880 --> 01:00:16.440
<v Speaker 3>that means is we're so tempted by that stuff over

1242
01:00:16.559 --> 01:00:18.679
<v Speaker 3>in real life social connection, even though we know that

1243
01:00:18.719 --> 01:00:20.760
<v Speaker 3>the in real life stuff is going to make us

1244
01:00:20.760 --> 01:00:21.199
<v Speaker 3>so much happy.

1245
01:00:21.320 --> 01:00:23.079
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's such a good way to look at it,

1246
01:00:23.159 --> 01:00:25.480
<v Speaker 2>is to understand just what our brain is sort of

1247
01:00:25.519 --> 01:00:29.239
<v Speaker 2>grappling with, why it's difficult. It's not like a personal

1248
01:00:29.280 --> 01:00:33.599
<v Speaker 2>failing that we sometimes look to that, But but yeah,

1249
01:00:33.639 --> 01:00:36.920
<v Speaker 2>I definitely find that when I'm looking for something to

1250
01:00:37.000 --> 01:00:39.360
<v Speaker 2>sort of boost my dopamineor happiness, I'll go to my

1251
01:00:39.400 --> 01:00:41.760
<v Speaker 2>phone and then I'll after an hour, I'll go like,

1252
01:00:42.159 --> 01:00:43.960
<v Speaker 2>I was, think that really did the trick. If I

1253
01:00:44.000 --> 01:00:46.599
<v Speaker 2>had practiced and thinks they knew might be longer lasting.

1254
01:00:46.760 --> 01:00:49.039
<v Speaker 2>But at least I can't blame myself for why I

1255
01:00:49.079 --> 01:00:51.880
<v Speaker 2>was looking. Anthony had a great question asked, what if

1256
01:00:51.920 --> 01:00:54.400
<v Speaker 2>certain aspects of your happiness or the pursuit of your

1257
01:00:54.400 --> 01:00:58.480
<v Speaker 2>happiness cause others you care about to be unhappy, thereby

1258
01:00:58.880 --> 01:01:03.440
<v Speaker 2>making you unhappy. What about those circumstances where you're worried

1259
01:01:03.719 --> 01:01:07.159
<v Speaker 2>that your happiness might make other people dislike you.

1260
01:01:08.639 --> 01:01:11.480
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well I think again. You know, if we're really

1261
01:01:11.519 --> 01:01:14.679
<v Speaker 3>going for true happiness, my guess is that those cases

1262
01:01:14.679 --> 01:01:17.480
<v Speaker 3>are occurring probably less often than you think. And by

1263
01:01:17.480 --> 01:01:20.480
<v Speaker 3>that I mean what you know, the real happiness seems

1264
01:01:20.519 --> 01:01:22.920
<v Speaker 3>to come from doing acts of kindness for other people.

1265
01:01:23.000 --> 01:01:26.519
<v Speaker 3>Real happiness seems to come from focusing on the happiness

1266
01:01:26.519 --> 01:01:28.760
<v Speaker 3>of others, right, you know, So already you know, we're

1267
01:01:28.840 --> 01:01:30.239
<v Speaker 3>kind of in a bind of like, well, other people

1268
01:01:30.239 --> 01:01:32.440
<v Speaker 3>aren't happy, then that's probably going to mean we're not happy.

1269
01:01:32.519 --> 01:01:35.280
<v Speaker 3>Rights we've talked about, happiness doesn't seem to come from

1270
01:01:35.280 --> 01:01:37.800
<v Speaker 3>our circumstances. So it's not like we're trying to be

1271
01:01:37.960 --> 01:01:41.440
<v Speaker 3>other people or go after these accolades. Right, happiness comes

1272
01:01:41.440 --> 01:01:44.039
<v Speaker 3>from being grateful and present from what you have. And

1273
01:01:44.119 --> 01:01:47.320
<v Speaker 3>so my guess is that more often than not, if

1274
01:01:47.360 --> 01:01:50.679
<v Speaker 3>you're pursuing happiness correctly, right, you know, based on what

1275
01:01:50.719 --> 01:01:53.360
<v Speaker 3>the science suggests, you're just not going to run into

1276
01:01:53.400 --> 01:01:57.880
<v Speaker 3>situations where you're sort of competing or hurting other people's happiness.

1277
01:01:57.920 --> 01:02:01.320
<v Speaker 3>Because other people's happiness is part and parcel of getting

1278
01:02:01.360 --> 01:02:02.159
<v Speaker 3>true happiness.

1279
01:02:03.239 --> 01:02:05.280
<v Speaker 2>And if you're worried someone in your life will be

1280
01:02:05.440 --> 01:02:08.760
<v Speaker 2>upset at your happiness. Just know it's your life and

1281
01:02:08.840 --> 01:02:11.039
<v Speaker 2>it's okay to feel good. If anyone has a problem

1282
01:02:11.039 --> 01:02:13.760
<v Speaker 2>with it, that is their own baggage to address. I

1283
01:02:13.840 --> 01:02:17.480
<v Speaker 2>highly suggest some of Melanie Baty's writings about codependency. I'm

1284
01:02:17.480 --> 01:02:19.320
<v Speaker 2>just going to leave that suggestion right there for you.

1285
01:02:19.639 --> 01:02:22.400
<v Speaker 2>Ben de Wurst says, I'm just finishing up my MBA

1286
01:02:22.440 --> 01:02:23.960
<v Speaker 2>and in one of my classes, they talked about how

1287
01:02:24.000 --> 01:02:27.400
<v Speaker 2>optimism is actually an attribute of emotional intelligence and can

1288
01:02:27.400 --> 01:02:30.800
<v Speaker 2>be learned as an optimist. To myself, I'd always considered

1289
01:02:30.800 --> 01:02:33.039
<v Speaker 2>it more of a part of my personality like extrovert

1290
01:02:33.079 --> 01:02:36.320
<v Speaker 2>or introverted and unteachable. So how would someone go about

1291
01:02:36.360 --> 01:02:39.039
<v Speaker 2>learning and training to be an optimist and what's the

1292
01:02:39.119 --> 01:02:43.639
<v Speaker 2>relationship there? Also, is there a relationship between happiness and

1293
01:02:44.239 --> 01:02:49.559
<v Speaker 2>emotional or just like IQ intelligence, I feel like there's

1294
01:02:49.559 --> 01:02:51.639
<v Speaker 2>some badge of like if you're unhappy, it must mean

1295
01:02:51.639 --> 01:02:53.760
<v Speaker 2>that you know more and therefore you're smarter.

1296
01:02:55.519 --> 01:02:57.800
<v Speaker 3>That's interesting. I don't know of any data that have

1297
01:02:57.840 --> 01:03:00.480
<v Speaker 3>looks specifically at IQ and happiness. My guess is there's

1298
01:03:00.480 --> 01:03:03.039
<v Speaker 3>probably not the relationship that you're looking at, but there

1299
01:03:03.079 --> 01:03:06.239
<v Speaker 3>is definitely a relationship between happiness and optimism. Obviously, I

1300
01:03:06.280 --> 01:03:08.400
<v Speaker 3>think sort of optimism is sort of part of our

1301
01:03:09.119 --> 01:03:12.159
<v Speaker 3>general happy life and the good news according to based

1302
01:03:12.199 --> 01:03:14.639
<v Speaker 3>on this question, is like you can in fact learn

1303
01:03:14.679 --> 01:03:15.440
<v Speaker 3>these kinds of things.

1304
01:03:15.440 --> 01:03:15.599
<v Speaker 2>You know.

1305
01:03:15.639 --> 01:03:18.239
<v Speaker 3>The fastest thing to do is really try to just

1306
01:03:18.360 --> 01:03:21.239
<v Speaker 3>train your brain to pay attention to good things out there.

1307
01:03:21.559 --> 01:03:24.280
<v Speaker 3>Our minds are naturally tuned to negative things, you know,

1308
01:03:24.360 --> 01:03:27.000
<v Speaker 3>the yucky stuff out there, the griping. But we can

1309
01:03:27.039 --> 01:03:30.440
<v Speaker 3>tune our minds towards positive things. You can focus on

1310
01:03:30.559 --> 01:03:34.159
<v Speaker 3>what you're grateful for. Another practice that I've been into lately,

1311
01:03:34.239 --> 01:03:36.960
<v Speaker 3>which I talk about on the podcast, is focusing on delights.

1312
01:03:37.599 --> 01:03:39.880
<v Speaker 3>Sometimes gratitude can feel sort of cheesy, but you can

1313
01:03:39.960 --> 01:03:42.320
<v Speaker 3>just focus on like things that are delightful out there,

1314
01:03:42.400 --> 01:03:45.000
<v Speaker 3>you know, like you know, the sunshine and like that's delightful.

1315
01:03:45.039 --> 01:03:47.840
<v Speaker 3>The fact that coffee exists, that's delightful. You know, I

1316
01:03:47.880 --> 01:03:50.800
<v Speaker 3>don't know, some funny video on the internet that's delightful, right,

1317
01:03:50.800 --> 01:03:54.360
<v Speaker 3>Like training your brain towards things that you really enjoy

1318
01:03:54.599 --> 01:03:55.679
<v Speaker 3>that kind of cause delight.

1319
01:03:56.119 --> 01:04:00.880
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So if the term gratitude journaling conjureds up visions

1320
01:04:00.920 --> 01:04:05.079
<v Speaker 2>of sickly sweetened cameralt just opt to the term delights,

1321
01:04:05.239 --> 01:04:08.920
<v Speaker 2>which is just like a straightforward good cup of coffee. Actually,

1322
01:04:08.920 --> 01:04:11.679
<v Speaker 2>for years, my husband Jared has cited a short tally

1323
01:04:11.880 --> 01:04:16.840
<v Speaker 2>of favorite things. His are lavender, soap, coffee, and sandwiches,

1324
01:04:17.039 --> 01:04:19.000
<v Speaker 2>And he says just thinking of those three things and

1325
01:04:19.079 --> 01:04:21.880
<v Speaker 2>letting his mind wander to more helped him during a

1326
01:04:21.920 --> 01:04:26.559
<v Speaker 2>really deep depression. So gratitude journaling delights, whatever you want

1327
01:04:26.559 --> 01:04:29.239
<v Speaker 2>to call it. Jarrett calls his his do Not Kill

1328
01:04:29.239 --> 01:04:32.239
<v Speaker 2>Yourself List, which is kind of like the Miami Cola

1329
01:04:32.280 --> 01:04:36.000
<v Speaker 2>Bang energy drink of a gratitude practice branding. Would you

1330
01:04:36.039 --> 01:04:38.639
<v Speaker 2>agree that's my favorite Bang flavor?

1331
01:04:39.239 --> 01:04:46.079
<v Speaker 3>Is there really Miami Cola.

1332
01:04:43.960 --> 01:04:44.760
<v Speaker 2>That's on the list.

1333
01:04:46.440 --> 01:04:49.119
<v Speaker 3>Again, your brain is going to focus on whatever you

1334
01:04:49.199 --> 01:04:51.679
<v Speaker 3>give it data for. So if you give it data

1335
01:04:51.800 --> 01:04:54.440
<v Speaker 3>about things that you're feeling really grateful about or that

1336
01:04:54.480 --> 01:04:57.159
<v Speaker 3>are really delightful, that's what your brain's going to start noticing.

1337
01:04:57.239 --> 01:04:59.760
<v Speaker 2>I love that you just are You're constantly filling evidence

1338
01:04:59.760 --> 01:05:02.599
<v Speaker 2>full for like things are shitty and things are good.

1339
01:05:02.599 --> 01:05:04.800
<v Speaker 2>It's like what are you putting in your evidence folder?

1340
01:05:04.880 --> 01:05:06.719
<v Speaker 2>Pretty much, and.

1341
01:05:07.320 --> 01:05:09.320
<v Speaker 3>It's not just like you know what you're picking it's

1342
01:05:09.360 --> 01:05:12.480
<v Speaker 3>like you're you're training your brain to look for that stuff.

1343
01:05:13.039 --> 01:05:16.719
<v Speaker 3>In my podcast, I interview this fantastic guest, Rosque, who's

1344
01:05:17.119 --> 01:05:19.840
<v Speaker 3>a poet and an essays who is this book called

1345
01:05:19.880 --> 01:05:22.519
<v Speaker 3>the Book of Delights And he decided that for every

1346
01:05:22.599 --> 01:05:24.800
<v Speaker 3>day for a year after his birthday, he would write

1347
01:05:24.800 --> 01:05:27.440
<v Speaker 3>an essay about something that delighted him. And he talks

1348
01:05:27.440 --> 01:05:29.480
<v Speaker 3>about how at first he was like really worried, like

1349
01:05:29.519 --> 01:05:31.519
<v Speaker 3>am I really going to find things that really delight me?

1350
01:05:31.880 --> 01:05:34.119
<v Speaker 3>And he said that, you know, even just a week in,

1351
01:05:34.639 --> 01:05:38.320
<v Speaker 3>like he'd kind of tuned his mind to find these things.

1352
01:05:38.519 --> 01:05:39.880
<v Speaker 3>You know, a walking down the street'd be like, Oh,

1353
01:05:39.880 --> 01:05:41.920
<v Speaker 3>that dude's T shirt is delightful, Like oh that like

1354
01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:44.920
<v Speaker 3>cat on the street is delightful. Like he just he

1355
01:05:45.000 --> 01:05:48.360
<v Speaker 3>just kind of shifted his perception and tuned his mind

1356
01:05:48.440 --> 01:05:50.360
<v Speaker 3>more towards the good things than the bad things. Our

1357
01:05:50.360 --> 01:05:53.599
<v Speaker 3>brains evolutionarily are naturally tuned towards the bad things. Make sense,

1358
01:05:53.639 --> 01:05:55.559
<v Speaker 3>You want to see the tiger that's going to jump

1359
01:05:55.599 --> 01:05:58.559
<v Speaker 3>out at you. Yeah, But we can control that tuning

1360
01:05:58.800 --> 01:06:01.960
<v Speaker 3>and just by you know, like taking some explicit work

1361
01:06:01.960 --> 01:06:04.000
<v Speaker 3>to pay attention to the things we're grateful for. To

1362
01:06:04.039 --> 01:06:06.239
<v Speaker 3>the things that delight us, to the good stuff out there.

1363
01:06:06.320 --> 01:06:09.039
<v Speaker 2>So yes, rask the Book of Delights, and again check

1364
01:06:09.039 --> 01:06:12.320
<v Speaker 2>out neilb. Has Recha's work and his osomology episode. Another

1365
01:06:12.440 --> 01:06:16.480
<v Speaker 2>fun project, Start a private Twitter just for yourself and

1366
01:06:16.559 --> 01:06:20.199
<v Speaker 2>chronicle delights of your own or a private Instagram account

1367
01:06:20.360 --> 01:06:24.360
<v Speaker 2>or something. Also, I should note that in recording this episode,

1368
01:06:24.360 --> 01:06:25.920
<v Speaker 2>the internet dropped out a few times, so I had

1369
01:06:25.920 --> 01:06:28.480
<v Speaker 2>to email doctor Santos a new link during it, and

1370
01:06:28.840 --> 01:06:32.159
<v Speaker 2>she has an auto reply message explaining that she may

1371
01:06:32.199 --> 01:06:34.320
<v Speaker 2>not write back, and it explains that she gets more

1372
01:06:34.360 --> 01:06:37.480
<v Speaker 2>than one hundred emails a day and it reads, in

1373
01:06:37.519 --> 01:06:40.679
<v Speaker 2>part quote, keeping up with that many questions slash requests

1374
01:06:40.719 --> 01:06:43.199
<v Speaker 2>meant that I was hurting my own time affluence and

1375
01:06:43.239 --> 01:06:45.679
<v Speaker 2>having less time for the important projects I really should

1376
01:06:45.679 --> 01:06:48.360
<v Speaker 2>be prioritizing. And so I am currently trying my own

1377
01:06:48.400 --> 01:06:51.360
<v Speaker 2>personal wellbeing experiment. I'm going to try to practice what

1378
01:06:51.400 --> 01:06:53.639
<v Speaker 2>I preach and reduce the amount of time I usually

1379
01:06:53.639 --> 01:06:56.199
<v Speaker 2>spend on email. Thanks for your understanding as I try

1380
01:06:56.239 --> 01:06:59.559
<v Speaker 2>not to overcommit and protect myself from burning out. Oh,

1381
01:07:00.320 --> 01:07:03.679
<v Speaker 2>I love her totally solid major props for walking her talk.

1382
01:07:03.960 --> 01:07:06.920
<v Speaker 2>She is the best and in respecting her time, we

1383
01:07:06.960 --> 01:07:09.920
<v Speaker 2>wrapped it up. Last listener question, I saved it because

1384
01:07:09.960 --> 01:07:14.119
<v Speaker 2>it was juicy. Oh, it's so juicy. Bailey Ricketts wants

1385
01:07:14.119 --> 01:07:15.840
<v Speaker 2>to know how do we find a balance between being

1386
01:07:15.880 --> 01:07:18.079
<v Speaker 2>happy and living in the moment while acknowledging all the

1387
01:07:18.159 --> 01:07:20.960
<v Speaker 2>hurt and suffering going on in the world, essentially guilt

1388
01:07:21.000 --> 01:07:23.239
<v Speaker 2>over being happy when you know that there's a lot

1389
01:07:23.239 --> 01:07:25.039
<v Speaker 2>of bad shit out there. How do we do it?

1390
01:07:25.199 --> 01:07:28.039
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, tough. I mean, this is like a really

1391
01:07:28.119 --> 01:07:30.159
<v Speaker 3>real one, right because there's a lot of bad stuff

1392
01:07:30.159 --> 01:07:33.400
<v Speaker 3>out there right now, you know, structural racism, horrible global pandemic,

1393
01:07:33.440 --> 01:07:36.519
<v Speaker 3>you know, like the list goes on. So, I mean,

1394
01:07:36.559 --> 01:07:40.039
<v Speaker 3>I think one thing that helps me is recognizing that

1395
01:07:40.679 --> 01:07:43.159
<v Speaker 3>if I want to be the kind of person who's

1396
01:07:43.199 --> 01:07:45.320
<v Speaker 3>a ally for all that stuff, all the yucky stuff

1397
01:07:45.320 --> 01:07:47.199
<v Speaker 3>in the world, who wants to have the resilience to

1398
01:07:47.239 --> 01:07:49.719
<v Speaker 3>fix it, I'm not gonna be able to do that

1399
01:07:49.800 --> 01:07:53.639
<v Speaker 3>if I'm incredibly anxious and overwhelmed and burnt out. I'm

1400
01:07:53.639 --> 01:07:55.360
<v Speaker 3>going to be able to do that best if I'm

1401
01:07:55.599 --> 01:07:57.559
<v Speaker 3>really in a happy state, if I'm really kind of

1402
01:07:57.559 --> 01:07:59.480
<v Speaker 3>feeling good, like if I kind of have put my

1403
01:07:59.480 --> 01:08:02.639
<v Speaker 3>own oxygen mask on first right, And in fact, there's

1404
01:08:02.639 --> 01:08:04.880
<v Speaker 3>evidence that so many of the things we were talking

1405
01:08:04.880 --> 01:08:08.239
<v Speaker 3>about that are parts of a happy life help for

1406
01:08:08.360 --> 01:08:10.920
<v Speaker 3>doing hard things. My favorite one is that people who

1407
01:08:10.960 --> 01:08:14.000
<v Speaker 3>are grateful are better at what's called self regulation. They're

1408
01:08:14.039 --> 01:08:16.119
<v Speaker 3>better at, you know, doing the hard thing today to

1409
01:08:16.159 --> 01:08:18.359
<v Speaker 3>help their future self, whether that's you know, saving for

1410
01:08:18.439 --> 01:08:21.880
<v Speaker 3>retirement or eating healthier, or you know, putting work into

1411
01:08:21.880 --> 01:08:24.800
<v Speaker 3>hard scary problems like that just require a lot of hard,

1412
01:08:24.840 --> 01:08:28.279
<v Speaker 3>scary work. And so for me, it's made me feel like,

1413
01:08:28.359 --> 01:08:30.319
<v Speaker 3>if I want the world to be a better place,

1414
01:08:30.680 --> 01:08:32.840
<v Speaker 3>I can't afford to be down in the dumps, you know,

1415
01:08:32.920 --> 01:08:35.840
<v Speaker 3>freaking out about it. I really need to put energy

1416
01:08:35.880 --> 01:08:39.600
<v Speaker 3>into doing these practices for myself so that I'll be

1417
01:08:39.880 --> 01:08:41.560
<v Speaker 3>you know, hopefully one of the people that has the

1418
01:08:41.600 --> 01:08:44.159
<v Speaker 3>bandwidth to help with some of this stuff. So far

1419
01:08:44.199 --> 01:08:46.039
<v Speaker 3>from feeling guilty, I feel like we might want to

1420
01:08:46.039 --> 01:08:48.800
<v Speaker 3>feel guilty for the opposite thing, right, you know, do

1421
01:08:48.880 --> 01:08:50.760
<v Speaker 3>what we can to kind of fix things. It really

1422
01:08:50.800 --> 01:08:54.079
<v Speaker 3>does require not just working on these structures, but working

1423
01:08:54.119 --> 01:08:56.520
<v Speaker 3>on our emotions so that we have the bandwidth to

1424
01:08:56.560 --> 01:08:58.520
<v Speaker 3>fix those structures that might be messed up.

1425
01:08:58.920 --> 01:09:03.239
<v Speaker 2>That just I'm sure gave so many people permission to

1426
01:09:03.279 --> 01:09:06.159
<v Speaker 2>pursue happiness who feel maybe guilty about it, and I'm

1427
01:09:06.159 --> 01:09:09.399
<v Speaker 2>by so many people I mean me specifically, But no,

1428
01:09:09.520 --> 01:09:13.119
<v Speaker 2>that's really helpful. Last two questions I asked before we go,

1429
01:09:13.760 --> 01:09:17.079
<v Speaker 2>worst thing about your job, worst thing about being at

1430
01:09:17.199 --> 01:09:19.239
<v Speaker 2>model of doologist, and the best thing.

1431
01:09:20.640 --> 01:09:22.359
<v Speaker 3>There's lots and lots of good things. But you know,

1432
01:09:22.399 --> 01:09:25.600
<v Speaker 3>if I have to shift towards negativity, you know, I

1433
01:09:25.640 --> 01:09:29.199
<v Speaker 3>would say the hardest thing is that you know they're

1434
01:09:30.279 --> 01:09:33.159
<v Speaker 3>One of the things I really try to pay attention to.

1435
01:09:33.439 --> 01:09:36.840
<v Speaker 3>Is this phenomenon of time affluence, this subjective sense that

1436
01:09:36.880 --> 01:09:39.039
<v Speaker 3>I have a lot of free time, and being a

1437
01:09:39.039 --> 01:09:41.800
<v Speaker 3>happiness guru, especially in an age where there's a lot

1438
01:09:41.840 --> 01:09:44.279
<v Speaker 3>of bad stuff going on in a global pandemic, it

1439
01:09:44.359 --> 01:09:46.000
<v Speaker 3>keeps me pretty busy because you know, a lot of

1440
01:09:46.039 --> 01:09:48.399
<v Speaker 3>people want advice, a lot of people want help, and

1441
01:09:48.439 --> 01:09:50.239
<v Speaker 3>that means I have to put a lot of work

1442
01:09:50.239 --> 01:09:52.880
<v Speaker 3>in to protect my time. So the hardest thing is

1443
01:09:52.920 --> 01:09:56.479
<v Speaker 3>protecting my time in the midst of everything else going on.

1444
01:09:57.359 --> 01:09:59.399
<v Speaker 2>I can totally understand that I just got your auto

1445
01:09:59.439 --> 01:10:01.760
<v Speaker 2>apply that was like, yo, I get like a one

1446
01:10:01.800 --> 01:10:04.399
<v Speaker 2>hundred emails a day, Thank you so much, But I

1447
01:10:04.560 --> 01:10:05.840
<v Speaker 2>got to stick to my principal.

1448
01:10:06.319 --> 01:10:08.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and that's hard, right, because you know, I get

1449
01:10:08.920 --> 01:10:10.800
<v Speaker 3>into my emox and I'm like, Oh, that listener has

1450
01:10:10.840 --> 01:10:12.560
<v Speaker 3>this really cool thing to say, or that student has

1451
01:10:12.600 --> 01:10:15.560
<v Speaker 3>this really cool question. But I also know that if

1452
01:10:15.560 --> 01:10:18.079
<v Speaker 3>I answer all those that means I'm not spending time

1453
01:10:18.079 --> 01:10:19.560
<v Speaker 3>with the people I care about and I'm not just

1454
01:10:19.600 --> 01:10:23.359
<v Speaker 3>having time to meditate an exercise. So it's hard prioritizing

1455
01:10:23.439 --> 01:10:26.000
<v Speaker 3>the right stuff. But time affluence is definitely something I

1456
01:10:26.039 --> 01:10:28.880
<v Speaker 3>need to work on prioritize. I never heard those words.

1457
01:10:28.600 --> 01:10:32.920
<v Speaker 2>Before, Butler loved them. Best thing about your job, best

1458
01:10:32.920 --> 01:10:33.800
<v Speaker 2>thing about your career.

1459
01:10:35.239 --> 01:10:37.960
<v Speaker 3>Oh man, there's so many best things. I mean, I

1460
01:10:38.000 --> 01:10:40.000
<v Speaker 3>honestly think the best things are my students. I love

1461
01:10:40.039 --> 01:10:42.319
<v Speaker 3>them so much. I love interacting with them. They teach

1462
01:10:42.359 --> 01:10:44.680
<v Speaker 3>me so much, and I'm so privileged to get to

1463
01:10:44.720 --> 01:10:45.239
<v Speaker 3>work with them.

1464
01:10:45.359 --> 01:10:48.560
<v Speaker 2>That's great. I'm I am so happy to talk to you.

1465
01:10:48.640 --> 01:10:51.119
<v Speaker 2>I have been a fan girl for a year. So

1466
01:10:51.279 --> 01:10:55.119
<v Speaker 2>ask smart people happy questions or farmmer questions. They are

1467
01:10:55.199 --> 01:10:58.960
<v Speaker 2>wonderful and they're great at sharing their knowledge. Obviously, get

1468
01:10:59.000 --> 01:11:01.960
<v Speaker 2>more of doctor Lourie's with her podcast at Happiness Lab.

1469
01:11:02.279 --> 01:11:04.920
<v Speaker 2>Her socials are linked in the show notes. She is

1470
01:11:05.039 --> 01:11:08.399
<v Speaker 2>great if you can take her course, take it. It's

1471
01:11:08.439 --> 01:11:11.359
<v Speaker 2>also available on Coursera for free, so look for that.

1472
01:11:11.520 --> 01:11:13.239
<v Speaker 2>I will link all of those on my website too,

1473
01:11:13.560 --> 01:11:16.600
<v Speaker 2>which is at aliward dot com slash ologies. We are

1474
01:11:16.720 --> 01:11:19.720
<v Speaker 2>at ali Ward with one L on Twitter and Instagram.

1475
01:11:19.760 --> 01:11:23.640
<v Speaker 2>We're also at Ologies on Instagram and Twitter. Find us

1476
01:11:23.640 --> 01:11:26.840
<v Speaker 2>there be our friends. Thank you to Aaron Talbert, who

1477
01:11:27.119 --> 01:11:31.560
<v Speaker 2>moderates and admin's Theologies podcast Facebook group and is excellent

1478
01:11:31.640 --> 01:11:34.520
<v Speaker 2>at that. Also now we have Smologies episodes up in

1479
01:11:34.560 --> 01:11:37.680
<v Speaker 2>their own feed. Just look for Smologies wherever you get

1480
01:11:37.680 --> 01:11:40.920
<v Speaker 2>podcasts and subscribe and spread the word. You'll find this

1481
01:11:41.119 --> 01:11:44.960
<v Speaker 2>new green logo and Smologies are all swear free. They're

1482
01:11:45.000 --> 01:11:48.079
<v Speaker 2>safe for all ages. It's s M O l O

1483
01:11:48.319 --> 01:11:51.000
<v Speaker 2>g I E S for your small ones. Thank you

1484
01:11:51.159 --> 01:11:54.560
<v Speaker 2>Emily White of the Wordery. She is a professional transcriptionist

1485
01:11:54.600 --> 01:11:56.000
<v Speaker 2>who makes transcriptions available.

1486
01:11:56.079 --> 01:11:56.600
<v Speaker 3>She's great.

1487
01:11:56.800 --> 01:12:00.479
<v Speaker 2>Hire her, She's wonderful. Caleb Patten bleeps our apisodes. Those

1488
01:12:00.520 --> 01:12:03.000
<v Speaker 2>are available on our website for free. The links in

1489
01:12:03.039 --> 01:12:06.159
<v Speaker 2>the show note. We also have Smologies, which are episodes

1490
01:12:06.199 --> 01:12:08.520
<v Speaker 2>we put out once every two weeks. They are cut

1491
01:12:08.640 --> 01:12:11.399
<v Speaker 2>down versions of classic ones that have already ran. They

1492
01:12:11.439 --> 01:12:14.600
<v Speaker 2>are cleaned up and kid friendly. They're ready for the classroom.

1493
01:12:14.640 --> 01:12:17.760
<v Speaker 2>Solo persmologies too if you have smologites. Thank you to

1494
01:12:18.039 --> 01:12:20.800
<v Speaker 2>Noel Dilworth and Susan Hale for helping me take care

1495
01:12:20.800 --> 01:12:23.039
<v Speaker 2>of all the ologies business behind the scenes. Thank you

1496
01:12:23.119 --> 01:12:26.000
<v Speaker 2>to Stephen Ray Morris and Zeke Rodriguez Thomas who are

1497
01:12:26.039 --> 01:12:28.760
<v Speaker 2>also working on smologies and wonderful. Thank you to editor

1498
01:12:29.239 --> 01:12:33.279
<v Speaker 2>Jared Sleeper, and also thank you to g Remy. We

1499
01:12:33.479 --> 01:12:36.039
<v Speaker 2>are actually recording this in the car as I'm on

1500
01:12:36.159 --> 01:12:38.880
<v Speaker 2>my way up to see my pop for his birthday.

1501
01:12:39.119 --> 01:12:41.319
<v Speaker 2>And I recorded this at five in the morning this

1502
01:12:41.399 --> 01:12:43.079
<v Speaker 2>morning before I hit the road, and then I realized

1503
01:12:43.079 --> 01:12:44.600
<v Speaker 2>that my mic gain was all the way down, so

1504
01:12:44.680 --> 01:12:46.640
<v Speaker 2>I had to rerecord it on side of the road,

1505
01:12:46.680 --> 01:12:50.600
<v Speaker 2>which is what we're doing. Eh. That's one secret of

1506
01:12:50.640 --> 01:12:53.199
<v Speaker 2>the episode. The other secret is, you know how sometimes

1507
01:12:53.720 --> 01:12:55.239
<v Speaker 2>it'll be like if you need to clean a screen,

1508
01:12:55.399 --> 01:12:57.680
<v Speaker 2>just use a microfibercloth, and you're like, yeah, well what

1509
01:12:57.800 --> 01:12:59.960
<v Speaker 2>do I use to clean it with? Though? Like deck,

1510
01:13:00.079 --> 01:13:01.960
<v Speaker 2>what are we talking here? Water? What do I use?

1511
01:13:02.000 --> 01:13:05.039
<v Speaker 2>At the microfiber cloth? So I just tried just the

1512
01:13:05.119 --> 01:13:08.720
<v Speaker 2>microfiber cloth, like you're supposed to use, and it cleaned

1513
01:13:08.760 --> 01:13:11.880
<v Speaker 2>the shit out of my laptop, like my monitor's never

1514
01:13:11.960 --> 01:13:14.000
<v Speaker 2>been so clean. All I did was use one of

1515
01:13:14.039 --> 01:13:17.399
<v Speaker 2>those microfiber too soft on your hands cloths, and apparently

1516
01:13:18.000 --> 01:13:20.239
<v Speaker 2>they're good at what they're supposed to be used for,

1517
01:13:20.640 --> 01:13:37.680
<v Speaker 2>So go figure Okay byeye pacodermatology, amology, crypto zoology, lithology, duinology, meteorology, patology, napology, ceiology, selinology.

1518
01:13:46.880 --> 01:13:48.640
<v Speaker 2>This is a sound of my dog drinking water in

1519
01:13:48.680 --> 01:13:56.720
<v Speaker 2>the car. Okay, twenty twenty four me thank you for listening.

1520
01:13:57.399 --> 01:14:00.520
<v Speaker 2>Back next week with a very fresh new episode about

1521
01:14:00.640 --> 01:14:04.560
<v Speaker 2>something in your bed. Trust me, it's good.

1522
01:14:05.640 --> 01:14:06.239
<v Speaker 3>Okay, bybye.

1523
01:14:06.279 --> 01:14:11.640
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1524
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<v Speaker 1>most stores. Prices very in express