Speaker 1: Hey, guys, Before we get started, I want to warn
Speaker 1: you this episode contains a lot of talk about sexual assault,
Speaker 1: a lot of talk about sexual abuse. It also talks
Speaker 1: about some really graphic medical situations and self harm, including suicide.
Speaker 1: And if any of those things would be a hard
Speaker 1: listen for you, skip this one and I'll see you
Speaker 1: in the next one later. Hey guys, Princess here and
Speaker 1: welcome to another episode of By Pumpkin Bonus Edition. So
Speaker 1: today we're gonna talk about Lenda Dunham's book. Normally, I
Speaker 1: know Liz talked about this yesterday. Normally I don't like
Speaker 1: to do that with podcasts I listened to, like Liz
Speaker 1: and Kara's. I don't like to talk about the same
Speaker 1: thing they're talking about because it feels like, sometimes it
Speaker 1: feels like I don't know whether that's my opinion or
Speaker 1: that's something that I heard from somebody whose opinions like
Speaker 1: I usually align with, And so I don't like to
Speaker 1: do that. I like to give myself space with it.
Speaker 1: But I just finish it this week, and I have
Speaker 1: a lot of thoughts on and I interact with Lena
Speaker 1: Dunham differently than Liz does, and so I think that
Speaker 1: I think, while we have similar opinions, I think that
Speaker 1: the things that I'm going to stay here are different
Speaker 1: than what Liz is saying. I So, first of all,
Speaker 1: why did I read this book? Liz suggested it to me.
Speaker 1: I didn't have shit else to do, and it's interesting
Speaker 1: to me. And I listened to it by audiobook because
Speaker 1: that's how I listen to nonfiction stuff. It's I mean,
Speaker 1: And to be completely honest, Lena is not a great narrator.
Speaker 1: Sheet her voice is very monotone. For this right, I
Speaker 1: measure all audio books by the standard that Mariah Carey,
Speaker 1: that Mariah Carey set with the meaning of Mariah, and
Speaker 1: that Mariah is interacting with the content as she is
Speaker 1: writing it, as she's reading it. She sounds like she's
Speaker 1: talking to me as a posed so she sounds like
Speaker 1: she's reading something, and Lena sounds like she's reading something.
Speaker 1: And while that would be fine, Lena wrote it, so
Speaker 1: it feels like she's very disconnected from the words that
Speaker 1: she put together. But I read this book, but not
Speaker 1: Lindy West's book. I'm not going to read Lindy West's book.
Speaker 1: I you know, obviously, if you were around ten years ago,
Speaker 1: fifteen years. Yeah, you couldn't get away from Lindy West.
Speaker 1: She was a premier feminist voice in on the Internet.
Speaker 1: And while I've enjoyed a lot of what she's written,
Speaker 1: especially she God, I wish I knew the name of
Speaker 1: this book. There's just a set of essays that I
Speaker 1: really enjoy and one of them is about, uh, fuck,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to look this up.
Speaker 1: Let's see here, Lindy West, Harrison Ford, The Fugitive, that move.
Speaker 1: She does an essay on that fucking movie The Fugitive
Speaker 1: that At the end of the essay I was writing,
Speaker 1: I was like, she is correct, that is the best
Speaker 1: movie of all fucking time. She has all the correct
Speaker 1: opinions on Harrison Ford, who I haven't thought about since
Speaker 1: I was obsessed with Indiana Jones series. Here she is okay,
Speaker 1: like she that is some of the best writing I
Speaker 1: have ever read. Like, I'm sorry, it was just so
Speaker 1: fucking good. And in terms of like you know, I've
Speaker 1: enjoyed her work before, I don't want to read this
Speaker 1: last book because, and you guys know how I feel
Speaker 1: about polyamory and open relationships. I feel like they are
Speaker 1: a neutral. That's a neutral relationship structure. There's no moral
Speaker 1: there's no morality behind any of those things. It's it's like,
Speaker 1: do you want a red car or do you want
Speaker 1: a blue car? Choosing either one doesn't matter, right, It
Speaker 1: doesn't make you a good or a bad person. It's
Speaker 1: not exploitative, it's not there's nothing. It's neutral. Okay, pick one.
Speaker 1: But I have found, anecdotally, okay, that almost every person
Speaker 1: I have come into contact who is in one of
Speaker 1: those relationship and open about it, because a lot of
Speaker 1: people aren't. Right. People don't tell you some of your
Speaker 1: mama's and daddy's in an open relationship. You just don't fucking
Speaker 1: know about it. That I have come upon exist because
Speaker 1: one person wanted to do it and the other person
Speaker 1: wanted to stay in a relationship. Almost always, I'm sure
Speaker 1: you could name some examples, even in I want to
Speaker 1: I'm saying, come across, even in pop culture, even in
Speaker 1: my internet travels, very rarely were people like two people like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we would love to do this together. You know what,
Speaker 1: I think this is gonna work for our relationship, and
Speaker 1: the other one's like, yeah, of course it is. I
Speaker 1: don't know why we weren't doing it before, and then
Speaker 1: they're doing it. Everyone's being ethical and open and everything,
Speaker 1: and I want to be clear, they're The absence of
Speaker 1: jealousy does not mean that it's a good relationship, and
Speaker 1: the presence of jealousy doesn't mean it's a bad relationship.
Speaker 1: Jealousy is a normal fucking human emotion. Okay, But everybody's
Speaker 1: into it, everybody. It's working great, everybody's really happy and
Speaker 1: feeling fulfilled. I have never come upon that. I have
Speaker 1: come upon people saying that they have that without without
Speaker 1: confirmation from the other person. And I know someone's gonna
Speaker 1: be like, well, that's what monogamy is like too, it is.
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not. This is not me being like
Speaker 1: monogamy is what you all should be doing. No, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying that anecdotally. That's what it seems to be
Speaker 1: every time I come across it, and I think that's
Speaker 1: fucked up. I don't think you should be I don't
Speaker 1: think you should get married just because the other person
Speaker 1: wants to get married. I don't think you should be
Speaker 1: exclusive just because the other one is exclusive. I don't
Speaker 1: think you should bring another person in your relationship just
Speaker 1: because the other one wants to. And that's what's going on,
Speaker 1: Lindy West. I know she's saying something otherwise, you need
Speaker 1: more people to be maybe we don't believe you. This
Speaker 1: is even the way I've read certain excerpts, and I
Speaker 1: know that's not the whole of the book, but even
Speaker 1: the way she's writing about it sounds like she sounds
Speaker 1: like she don't believe it right. And the story she's
Speaker 1: telling about how you know he already started this without
Speaker 1: telling her. They that's cheating. And remember I told you
Speaker 1: infidelity is not well sexual infidelity is not the worst
Speaker 1: thing that can happen in your relationship. It's the worst
Speaker 1: thing I happen my relationship, but it's it's not the
Speaker 1: worst to happen in your relationship. People can be unfaithful
Speaker 1: in a million fucking ways, and some of it worse
Speaker 1: than that, worse than like fucking somebody. But that the
Speaker 1: story she is telling doesn't track with the feelings that
Speaker 1: she wants us to feel about it, And I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: so you should have written is better. And so I
Speaker 1: don't want to be a part of that discourse. I
Speaker 1: don't want to read that fucking book. I don't want
Speaker 1: to read that book and come out feeling sorry for her.
Speaker 1: I don't think she deserves that. I don't think that's
Speaker 1: helpful to her. I think that's kind of yeah. And
Speaker 1: she is someone who really and she talked about this,
Speaker 1: she's talked about this a number of times. Really, the
Speaker 1: fact that that man wanted to beat they are non binary,
Speaker 1: that that person wanted to be with her. Really, we'll
Speaker 1: talk about this with Lena as well. Really like proved
Speaker 1: the world that, like, she's lovable. She's a fat person
Speaker 1: and she's lovable, and look, here's the proof. This person
Speaker 1: wants to be with me, wants to be married to me.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't like that. And it seems
Speaker 1: like you held on to that a lot and then
Speaker 1: got scared to lose it. And now they and their
Speaker 1: girlfriend who's now your girlfriend, are living in your home
Speaker 1: and you're writing essays about how you decided that you
Speaker 1: were in love with that girl after your partner had
Speaker 1: been sleeping around behind your back with him. I don't know,
Speaker 1: girl down, that's what it seems like. And so I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna come over there and
Speaker 1: spit on you when you down, go be down, and
Speaker 1: don't let me read this book. I saw a thread
Speaker 1: a thread post where someone was like, you, guys, don't
Speaker 1: respect the fact that she's queer and that these people fuck.
Speaker 1: She wants to be there. Baby. If you think rubbing
Speaker 1: your genitals together means that everything's all cool, I would
Speaker 1: love to introduce you to the millions of people in
Speaker 1: terrible relationships who are still fucking. That doesn't mean she
Speaker 1: wasn't coorsed in it. That doesn't mean she's sitting there
Speaker 1: trying to tell a lie to us and herself. But
Speaker 1: I'm not buying it, So just tell it to yourself. Fine,
Speaker 1: that's where you want to be. Be there, but don't
Speaker 1: make me. Don't make me hear but it. I feel
Speaker 1: the same way about Becky G. You guys know I
Speaker 1: love me some Becky G. I think she is the
Speaker 1: hottest thing fucking walking. I'm sew into her. The two
Speaker 1: songs she's releasing, one's coming out this Friday and the
Speaker 1: other one came out I guess a couple of days ago.
Speaker 1: They sound so good. I only wished the best for her.
Speaker 1: Her performance at Coachella with Carol with kyl Gee is
Speaker 1: like she was so great. Even when she was shading
Speaker 1: the mariachi's, you could tell she was pissed at Carol.
Speaker 1: She wouldn't hold her hand she was shading to mariachi
Speaker 1: because what happened afterwards came out that there was an
Speaker 1: all female mariachi band on the stage, and like in
Speaker 1: between Coachella weekends, it came out they were like Trump supporters,
Speaker 1: and like, I know, Becky was lying, not on my watch,
Speaker 1: and so she was real pissed the second weekend. I
Speaker 1: love Becky G Beggy G want to call her daddy
Speaker 1: not too long ago, and she talked about a lot
Speaker 1: of things when she talked a lot about that fucking
Speaker 1: relationship she's in, which I told you he cheated on
Speaker 1: her very very publicly, and she took him back, and
Speaker 1: everybody's upset about that. And I told you that I
Speaker 1: know why she took him back because her mother and
Speaker 1: father were in a twenty year relationship marriage in which
Speaker 1: her father was a drug at it. And she know
Speaker 1: her mother all the time and her grandmother and her
Speaker 1: mother would say, you gotta put on your boxing gloves
Speaker 1: to Savior to fight for your That's what she saw.
Speaker 1: And she'd been with that guy for so long. Like
Speaker 1: I understand, I get it, but I wish to fucking
Speaker 1: god you would not get on my internet and you
Speaker 1: misuse therapy speak. That's what she did. She was us
Speaker 1: misusing therapy speak. And a lot of people are like,
Speaker 1: her therapist is terrible. I don't know that her therapist
Speaker 1: is terrible. Remember, your therapists can only talk about what
Speaker 1: you bring. They they only know your perspective, and they're
Speaker 1: not supposed to be there to decide who's right and wrong.
Speaker 1: They're supposed to work with you on you and what
Speaker 1: you think and your th like. It's not really about that.
Speaker 1: It's not a like and a lot. And if your
Speaker 1: therapist is like like, giving a lot of judgment in
Speaker 1: your in your sessions, that don't coincide with what like,
Speaker 1: they're not asking you what you think and trying to
Speaker 1: and trying to, you know, break that down about where
Speaker 1: you're coming from, and instead they're giving you all their opinions.
Speaker 1: It's probably not very good therapy, right, But so I
Speaker 1: don't think her therapist should be fired. What I do
Speaker 1: think is that Becky g has gas lit herself into one.
Speaker 1: She this is her fault too. She has a on
Speaker 1: her healing journey is like opening like she was just
Speaker 1: misusing a lot of therapy speak to justify a lot
Speaker 1: of weird fucking moving right, you move in weird, bitch,
Speaker 1: And when I when they ask you about it, you
Speaker 1: start talking like fucking I was gonna say doctor Phil,
Speaker 1: but doctor Phil was not a doctor, and most of
Speaker 1: his stuff was like do not have sex with your cousin.
Speaker 1: That's that's essentially. He just yell out stuff like that,
Speaker 1: like hmm, drugs are bad, like that was what he
Speaker 1: was saying. But I but again, oh, maybe doctor Phil
Speaker 1: was your therapist. I don't fucking know. And I want
Speaker 1: to point out something. I don't want to bully Becky
Speaker 1: g about staying with that man. She ain't making her choice.
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't think it's where she should be, but
Speaker 1: it's right where she fucking wanna be. So let her
Speaker 1: be there. And I don't think I would do it
Speaker 1: in her real life too. I've grown up. I've grown
Speaker 1: up too much to be sitting around telling people what
Speaker 1: I think about their relationship. You ask me a question,
Speaker 1: I'll give you an answer. But I support you, and
Speaker 1: that's it. I love you, and that's it. And so
Speaker 1: I want to be here with you when you finally
Speaker 1: realize that this isn't good enough for you anyway. I
Speaker 1: want all of us to take a page out of
Speaker 1: Beyonce's book. Beyonce definitely stayed with a man who cheated
Speaker 1: on her, and she wrote a whole album about the shit,
Speaker 1: an amazing about the shit. But Beyonce has never sat
Speaker 1: down with us and told us why she stayed with
Speaker 1: jay Z because she knows that no answer she gives
Speaker 1: us is gonna be good enough for us. Nothing. There
Speaker 1: is no combination of words she can say that would
Speaker 1: make that sound like a good idea to any of us,
Speaker 1: except for people that are like in the sunken place already.
Speaker 1: You know, Okay, so then she doesn't do it. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying she's not my man, my man, my man,
Speaker 1: she's my man, my man, my man, final boss. But
Speaker 1: she has never tried to explain to us why she
Speaker 1: stayed with him. You can infer it from her music
Speaker 1: if you want to, but she has never sat down
Speaker 1: and been like, hey, guys, this is why I had
Speaker 1: to stay. And she basically left us with the idea
Speaker 1: I just wanted to and that's what I wanted BECKYGI say,
Speaker 1: and I call her daddy interview. I just wanted to.
Speaker 1: I don't have anything to prove. I don't have anything,
Speaker 1: any evidence that I could show you that you guys
Speaker 1: would be like, oh okay, I wanted to. So I did,
Speaker 1: and I'm working my way back based on that. That's
Speaker 1: where my heart was, and so I stayed there. And
Speaker 1: there's nothing anybody can say about that. That's just this.
Speaker 1: But mostly I don't wanna hear any more about this man.
Speaker 1: I don't wanna hear any fucking more about this man.
Speaker 1: I want to hear. I want another documentary from her.
Speaker 1: Rebecca was so great. I want another documentary. I wanna
Speaker 1: see her like making an album or like on the
Speaker 1: road to uh like I wanna I want the documentary
Speaker 1: to follow her in her concerts tour. I like, I
Speaker 1: love something like that. I wanna hear more music from her.
Speaker 1: I wanna see more cunty looks from her. I wanna
Speaker 1: see that, Like. I don't give a fuck about that man,
Speaker 1: And you shouldn't have to go on an apology tour
Speaker 1: about that man. He needs to go on a fucking
Speaker 1: apology tour. Tell him to get on all the soccer podcasts,
Speaker 1: and when he gets on there, talk about how he
Speaker 1: fucked up and what he's doing and the other like,
Speaker 1: let him do that. That's not for you to answer
Speaker 1: for and you can't answer for it. There's nothing you
Speaker 1: can fucking say. That's how I feel about Lindy West.
Speaker 1: That's how I feel about Beyonce. And the only of
Speaker 1: the of these three, the only person that's doing it
Speaker 1: right is Beyonce. She ain't gonna tell me shit because
Speaker 1: once she don't like to talk to us, but then
Speaker 1: two nothing she say is gonna is gonna make it better.
Speaker 1: There's nothing to say. She decided that's what she's doing
Speaker 1: the end. Why am I talking about that? Oh? I
Speaker 1: started talking about I started reading lind I read Lena
Speaker 1: Dunham's book, right, I did not read Lindy West. But
Speaker 1: isn't that interesting that they're both Like, it's like a reunion,
Speaker 1: all these internety feminist writer, voice of generations coming out,
Speaker 1: voice of the fat people of coming out. It's like
Speaker 1: a reunion. All right, let's talk about my relationships, my
Speaker 1: relationship with Dina with Lena Dunham, and my biases and
Speaker 1: all this sort of stuff before we get started I
Speaker 1: don't keep up with Lena Dunham. I never did, not really.
Speaker 1: First of all, Girls was not a quintessential mirror of
Speaker 1: my life. When Girls came out, I was in my thirties,
Speaker 1: I was living in Queens and community of Brooklyn and
Speaker 1: those twenties girls. First of all, they're all white. You
Speaker 1: know black people on the show, by the way, I
Speaker 1: know that's a criticism of them, but the people writing
Speaker 1: it didn't know any black people. Okay, that wasn't a
Speaker 1: real thing in their world. And I don't want Lena
Speaker 1: Dunham writing black people, not at all. And I don't
Speaker 1: count Childish Gambino being in the opening of one of
Speaker 1: those seasons. I don't count that. In fact, I don't
Speaker 1: know what he knows. He's never mind. Let me stop
Speaker 1: talking about him before he show up here and start
Speaker 1: telling me about how how the girls did the black
Speaker 1: girls didn't like him in middle school? He was in anime?
Speaker 1: Is that why he didn't like you? Everybody loves fucking anime?
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? Which anime were you into?
Speaker 1: Let's talk about that? Was it weird shit with a
Speaker 1: lot of boobs? And what was never mind? Never mind? Mind?
Speaker 1: The white girls didn't like me, and that's why I
Speaker 1: hate black woman. Okay, cool, cool, cool, coo cool. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I don't want Lena Dunham writing black people. Sure, the
Speaker 1: writer's room could be a little more firstified, and we could,
Speaker 1: but they were writing about a very specific type of woman,
Speaker 1: young woman in Brooklyn in the in during that time,
Speaker 1: and that young woman didn't know any black people. She
Speaker 1: didn't interact with any Sometimes it might be their job,
Speaker 1: but the bodega didn't have anybody that wasn't white in it.
Speaker 1: The people they walked passed on the street didn't have
Speaker 1: nobody that wasn't white in Okay. I never was like
Speaker 1: this is written wrong. I was like, this is a documentary.
Speaker 1: That girl exists. I don't know her because she don't
Speaker 1: know what black people. But I did I watch Girls. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've watched Girls through maybe two or three times actually,
Speaker 1: and there are things that I took away from it.
Speaker 1: I enjoyed most of it. I too wanted to kill
Speaker 1: myself as Marnie was singing that fucking Kanye song while
Speaker 1: she was trying to get back that dude, and I
Speaker 1: thought that. I also think that episode where it's panic
Speaker 1: in Central Park, everything is I thought that was an
Speaker 1: excellent episode, beautifully directed, like tightly written. I thought it
Speaker 1: was great, but it just didn't go I didn't look
Speaker 1: at it and go, oh, this is exactly what the
Speaker 1: fuck I'm going through right now, and I see myself
Speaker 1: in these characters and my friends in these because I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I saw those characters around me, but they
Speaker 1: were not people that I connected with emotionally, and for
Speaker 1: some people it was that it wasn't my thing. I look,
Speaker 1: I was trying to think of what my girls would
Speaker 1: have been, and I can't really think about anything like
Speaker 1: in my twenties that maybe insecure, but I wasn't in
Speaker 1: my twenties an insecure amount insecure was really I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I feel all of this, but I think the thing
Speaker 1: the way people are rabbit about girls, I think I
Speaker 1: was about my so called life. When it came out,
Speaker 1: that felt like real, real, fucking real. And I understand
Speaker 1: that with the exception of Enrique, Ricky called me Ricky,
Speaker 1: don't like Enrique, and with the exception the exception of Enrique,
Speaker 1: this is a very whitewash show as well. But I
Speaker 1: could see myself in those characters regardless In terms of Lena,
Speaker 1: like her being an annoying, fat feminist. Sure, sure, that's
Speaker 1: what she's known for. I I usually find that when
Speaker 1: the entire internet hates a person, they're doing a lot.
Speaker 1: They're doing a lot, and that doesn't mean that the
Speaker 1: person didn't deserve some disdain. But like, sometimes it's just easy.
Speaker 1: It's just easy to hate this person. I think Anne
Speaker 1: Hathaway has gotten it. I think she coming back to
Speaker 1: get it again. I think famously I've defended j Loo
Speaker 1: to you, guys. Jlo's biggest crime is that she is rude,
Speaker 1: and she is corny, and she takes herself a tyler too. Seriously,
Speaker 1: that is Jlo's biggest fucking crime. Okay, the rude part, right,
Speaker 1: that's it. But I told you if I was a celebrity,
Speaker 1: y'all have so many subparate as dedicated to me being
Speaker 1: rude to people in public, I would that said, I
Speaker 1: don't want to be famous, and I wouldn't be trying
Speaker 1: to be famous, And that's the opposite of j Loo. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's what she needs. She got a love addiction and
Speaker 1: she fucking needs. She is desperate for the we could,
Speaker 1: we could, We could easily go back, and I'll tell
Speaker 1: you exactly where her love, her love and attention addiction
Speaker 1: came from. But that's her biggest crime. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to allow and saying the N word, and I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna allow you guys to be like she stole a
Speaker 1: Shanti's voice. If Ashanti had no agency in the fact
Speaker 1: that they were using her voice in the mix of
Speaker 1: Jlo's because Ashanti did a lot of demos, right, If
Speaker 1: Ashanti had no agency, no control over the fact that
Speaker 1: when they mixed Jlo's songs, they would leave Ashanti's voice
Speaker 1: right either in the background vocals or in the front
Speaker 1: front vocal. Okay, that is not the If Ashanti didn't
Speaker 1: have any agency, If Mariah Carey, which is who Tommy
Speaker 1: Motola was trying to hurt with JLO, like she JLO
Speaker 1: only exists because Tommy Otola was like, oh, Maria, you're
Speaker 1: gonna fucking leave me. Guess what, I'm gonna make another you? Okay,
Speaker 1: I made you and I'll make another you. And he
Speaker 1: was actively stealing her songs finding out when finding out
Speaker 1: when she was like trying to put something out and
Speaker 1: like stealing that structure, like that's what I'm real like
Speaker 1: Maria did some song and Tommy went to murder Ink
Speaker 1: what's the dude erv Gotti and told him I want
Speaker 1: a song just like that, and they snatched that song
Speaker 1: from somebody and gave it to Jlo. That's like, if
Speaker 1: Mariah Carey had no agency in it and fucking Ashanti
Speaker 1: had no agency, you think j Loo head agency in it.
Speaker 1: You think she was in charge of the fucking mix.
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, she could have told him? Was could she?
Speaker 1: Could she? That's what I'm talking about. Like, sure, she's
Speaker 1: the only one that really benefited from it, But bro, like,
Speaker 1: I think it's important that we talk about how that happened.
Speaker 1: How that happens all the fucking time. How you often
Speaker 1: can hear the original writer of the song on that
Speaker 1: demo of the song in the final mix of this.
Speaker 1: I know we should talk about that, We should talk
Speaker 1: about how Like, but that happens all the time, and
Speaker 1: people only care about it when it's Jennifer Lopez. And
Speaker 1: you know why, cause she's fucking rude. That's why she's rude.
Speaker 1: She's corny, she's cringey, that's why. Okay, And like, as
Speaker 1: I keep explaining to you guys, I am a hater,
Speaker 1: not a fucking liar. Okay, I hate, but I'm never
Speaker 1: gonna tell I'm not gonna like just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: this person is horrible, horrible, horrible, and everything they do
Speaker 1: is horrible, and I'm just gonna like start being like,
Speaker 1: look at that bitch over there eating crackers. I'm not
Speaker 1: doing that because when I tell you something's fucked up,
Speaker 1: you won't believe me because I'm telling I wouldn't you know. Yeah. Anyway,
Speaker 1: for Lena, do I think her hate is justified? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I just think that she was just an easy
Speaker 1: punching bag too. So like the uproar of Lena Dunnab
Speaker 1: was a lot. I was like, Oh, this bitch is
Speaker 1: just everywhere fucking shit up, But I wasn't really following
Speaker 1: her for a lot of stuff. I do remember the
Speaker 1: Odell Beckham shit. I do remember the rape apologist shit.
Speaker 1: I do remember that. I do remember sometimes looking at
Speaker 1: her dressed not as Hannah, not as the character, but
Speaker 1: dresses herself and being like, oh, why would you do that?
Speaker 1: That wouldn't look good on anybody, And I'm again, it's
Speaker 1: not about her body. In fact, Lena Dunham is a
Speaker 1: lot bigger now she was a small fat Back then
Speaker 1: she was. The way people would call her fat is
Speaker 1: if she needed to get to doctor Nole's house, you know,
Speaker 1: like she needed to throw herself on doctor Nole's home
Speaker 1: doorsteps so he could help her. Don't even skip the office,
Speaker 1: go right to his house, babe. She wasn't like that.
Speaker 1: But one of the things that used to bother me
Speaker 1: is she used to wear such unflattering clothes. And I
Speaker 1: used to think to myself, you know, as a fat person,
Speaker 1: I know you can do better than that. Are you
Speaker 1: doing it on purpose or to I know on the
Speaker 1: show she was doing on purpose, and I'll talk more
Speaker 1: about that, But in real life, I was like, did
Speaker 1: you do this so that tomorrow people will be like,
Speaker 1: look how ugly she looks. She's a fat piece of shit.
Speaker 1: I did think that a few times, and when I
Speaker 1: said it out loud a few times, people would give
Speaker 1: me such shit about it. The same they reacted. The
Speaker 1: same way is when I told people the Areaana Grande
Speaker 1: was dressing like a sexy baby on purpose, like with
Speaker 1: the lollipop and the big and the big sweatshirt that
Speaker 1: would swallow her a whole and looked like she was
Speaker 1: wearing no pants but also high heeled, like a hot
Speaker 1: knee high thigh high boots, and she's looking on a
Speaker 1: fucking lollipop in her head, like, yeah, she was looking
Speaker 1: like that on purpose. There is no way in hell
Speaker 1: that that was an accident. And it maybe if one
Speaker 1: time it was an accident, there's no way in hell
Speaker 1: her agent, her managers or publicists will allow her to
Speaker 1: do that over and over again. That was what she
Speaker 1: was going for. And I know, and people would argue
Speaker 1: me down. They'd be like, she's a young girl. She's
Speaker 1: just trying to find what fits. She's trying to figure
Speaker 1: out her life. Maybe yeah, sure, I mean Ariana Grande
Speaker 1: the person, probably, but Ariana Grande, the product, the brand.
Speaker 1: She's doing sexy baby on purpose. Sorry, And it feels
Speaker 1: like Lena Dunham the brand was sometimes doing like look
Speaker 1: at my body, even in this misshapen outfit. I bet
Speaker 1: you hate it, don't you? Why don't you ride a
Speaker 1: tweet about it? That's what it felt sometimes, and so
Speaker 1: that's what I like thought of Lynda Dunham. I thought
Speaker 1: she did a great job in Girls. I thought Girls
Speaker 1: was good. I did not think it changed my life
Speaker 1: and I yeah, I you know, I thought that she
Speaker 1: always seemed to be in trouble. And because I take
Speaker 1: those types of things where everybody is mad with a
Speaker 1: bit of a grain of salt, like maybe it's a
Speaker 1: contrarian in me, but I really just I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I know for myself, I'm not as bad
Speaker 1: as my detractors, and I'm not as good as my
Speaker 1: supporters think I am. I'm not as bad as the
Speaker 1: people wait me I think I am, and I'm not
Speaker 1: as good as the people who love me think I am.
Speaker 1: I know that I am somewhere in the middle. I
Speaker 1: am a messy, fairal, little dirty human who has opposable
Speaker 1: thumbs and thinks I'm in charge of the world now
Speaker 1: like all the rest of us. I know that I
Speaker 1: have human feelings, and I make many mistakes, and sometimes
Speaker 1: I get my wins, but I know I'm not my mistakes,
Speaker 1: and I'm also not my wins either, just me, and
Speaker 1: so I think most people are like that too, and
Speaker 1: I'm willing to look for the humanity in them. The
Speaker 1: exceptions would be probably Jack's Taylor and people who don't
Speaker 1: wear shoes at the airport. That's it. So the first
Speaker 1: thing I want to say about this book. I enjoyed
Speaker 1: the book. The book reminded me of How to Murder
Speaker 1: Your Life by Cat Marnell, Like, and what I mean
Speaker 1: by that is, I'm not telling you that that Cat
Speaker 1: Marnell is a good person. I would never tell you
Speaker 1: that Cat Marnell is a lot of shit, but good person.
Speaker 1: I don't think they're gonna put that on her tombstone.
Speaker 1: So I think a lot of people are like, why
Speaker 1: would you read that book? Do you support her? No?
Speaker 1: I just I want to know the TA. I want
Speaker 1: to know the T And yeah, I think that How
Speaker 1: to Murder Your Life is really about Cat's multiple multiple mistakes,
Speaker 1: howvery at every turn she's supposed to go right and
Speaker 1: she goes left, and about you know, just the hardest
Speaker 1: part of her, like the most chaotic part of her life.
Speaker 1: And this is about That's Lina. Lena Dunham's book is
Speaker 1: like that as well. The book is written by an
Speaker 1: intellectualizer twin where have you Been? Gay Girl? Ganggang? Like
Speaker 1: an intellectualizer Lena Dunham, And I wrote this on threads.
Speaker 1: Lena Dunham is someone who is incredibly self aware about
Speaker 1: herself and nothing else. Her emotional intelligence does not extend
Speaker 1: to other people. She has no perspective. She doesn't know
Speaker 1: anybody's pertive perspective except for hers. You know when every
Speaker 1: year when they're like, you need to read diverse books.
Speaker 1: Not Lena. Lena, she just is really like stuck inside herself.
Speaker 1: And although I don't remember her addressing d Odell Buckham thing,
Speaker 1: but I will say, like, that's one of the things
Speaker 1: in which I know that about her is that she
Speaker 1: sat next to Odell Beckham, who never said a fucking
Speaker 1: word to her, and created a story and then about
Speaker 1: how he looked at her and didn't think she was
Speaker 1: a woman shaped object and was disgusted by her and
Speaker 1: described all these things and like put that out in
Speaker 1: the world. And she could not see that as a
Speaker 1: white woman sitting next to a black man, projecting all
Speaker 1: this shit who did nothing to you, projecting all this
Speaker 1: shit onto him about how he thinks you're ugly, he
Speaker 1: discounts you, he can't even look in your direction what
Speaker 1: the objects of that is. Because Lena does. Lena doesn't
Speaker 1: know about intersectionality, right, She doesn't know shit about that.
Speaker 1: Lena doesn't know shit about any marginalized group except women
Speaker 1: and feminists. That's it, that's really it, and everything all
Speaker 1: her whole entire lenses through that, which is fine. But
Speaker 1: when you look up white feminist in the dictionary, Lena
Speaker 1: Dunnoman sitting that her picture's right there, and there's nothing
Speaker 1: literally wrong with being a white feminist person. There's nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with that. But white feminist TM right all capital
Speaker 1: letters is a person that only their feminist feminism is
Speaker 1: rooted in the idea that instead of dismantling the systems
Speaker 1: that oppress women, they just want to be at the
Speaker 1: fucking table and be able to do the same thing
Speaker 1: that the people that are represent They they want a
Speaker 1: seat at the table. They want the power that men have,
Speaker 1: and they just want to use that power, usually on
Speaker 1: other marginalized groups. They are not trying to dismantle any systems,
Speaker 1: and there are there when we talk about liberation in
Speaker 1: the black community, there are plenty of people. They don't
Speaker 1: want liberation. They don't want the system to dismantle. They
Speaker 1: want to walk the world like a white person. And
Speaker 1: once they receive and once they that, they're like, good,
Speaker 1: I've I've done everything I came here to do. I
Speaker 1: don't know what the rest of you, in words, are
Speaker 1: gonna do. But yeah, and that's how lenam linam Ah,
Speaker 1: I'm saying her word, her name wrong. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: Lina's feminism feels to me. And the fact that like
Speaker 1: she sat there and did that. I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: you've never heard of Immettel. You've never heard of the
Speaker 1: trope of a white woman. You've never I bet you've
Speaker 1: never seen Malcolm X right, you've never read that book
Speaker 1: and you've never seen it seen the movie. Right, This
Speaker 1: idea of black women who are white women who want
Speaker 1: to interact sexually with black men, and if things don't
Speaker 1: go the way they want them to go, they are
Speaker 1: willing to throw those men to the wolves. Oh, officer,
Speaker 1: I don't even know this man. He told me to
Speaker 1: get his cat. That's and I know some of you
Speaker 1: have been like, Princess, that's a far reach. It's not
Speaker 1: a reach, guys, it's not A man did nothing to her,
Speaker 1: and she sat there and created a narrative that that
Speaker 1: she projected from herself onto him, went public with the shit.
Speaker 1: And I don't know what you think. I don't know
Speaker 1: what you thought. The response was gonna be people being like, damn,
Speaker 1: O'Dell Beckham, you're so rude, you hate women or any
Speaker 1: of that shit. People were like, bitch, did he even
Speaker 1: say a word to you? Why is everything about you?
Speaker 1: And why are you trying to present this black man
Speaker 1: in a way like if she had situational awareness, which
Speaker 1: she does not, if she had that, she would have realized,
Speaker 1: you can't You're not gonna be able to do this.
Speaker 1: This is not gonna look the way you want to look,
Speaker 1: And a lot of things in this book, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, actually in this book A lot of times
Speaker 1: I felt the same way when I read Amanda Knox's memoir. Okay,
Speaker 1: reading Amanda Knox's memoir to put that shit down so
Speaker 1: fucking many times because I'd be like, oh my god, Amanda,
Speaker 1: what would you think the police believe you. They're just upset,
Speaker 1: they're just tired, and that's why they're being so snipulant.
Speaker 1: Don't even think you killed someone. Why would you not
Speaker 1: leave the fucking country and go to your aunt's house.
Speaker 1: It wasn't in Italy. It might have been in France,
Speaker 1: it was somewhere Germany. It was somewhere and go to
Speaker 1: your aunt's fucking house in the other. Why wouldn't you
Speaker 1: leave the country immediate, like your fucking parents told you
Speaker 1: to as soon as that shit happened, Amanda, Why would
Speaker 1: you be in a police station waiting to be interrogated
Speaker 1: again and a police officer I actually don't know who
Speaker 1: it was, but came over because she was doing yoga posts.
Speaker 1: She was trying to like like center herself, relaxed, you know,
Speaker 1: meditate cause you know you're in a police station being
Speaker 1: accused of shit. Why would you and someone said, oh,
Speaker 1: you're really flexible start doing gymn Why don't you do that?
Speaker 1: You don't think people can see you. Why would you,
Speaker 1: when being interrogated refuse an interpreter because you were embarrassed
Speaker 1: about your Italian You wanted to be like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I can do it. Like what hm hm hmm. This
Speaker 1: is not a night at the bar of some hot
Speaker 1: guys and what you're trying to You're gonna try to
Speaker 1: stay in Italian the whole time, even though it's not
Speaker 1: your first language. I don't think she knew Italian until
Speaker 1: she got like any Italian till she got to Italy.
Speaker 1: I why would you this is not that this is
Speaker 1: the government. The government's got you, bitch, You need to
Speaker 1: understand exactly what everybody in this fucking room is saying.
Speaker 1: You need to understan you need to be understood exactly
Speaker 1: what you're saying because and the connotations of words are
Speaker 1: differently and and those I can't even breathe right now
Speaker 1: to put that book down so many times, like you
Speaker 1: don't hear the fucking saxophones, bitch, Like what are you
Speaker 1: doing for people who have like seen that trend on TikTok,
Speaker 1: Like the Saxophones got louder. This idea that something bad's
Speaker 1: about to happen that originates from Boys in the Hood,
Speaker 1: which is a foundational movie to a certain Black millennials,
Speaker 1: maybe even Black gen x's to a certain extent. And
Speaker 1: what happens is that they get into this gang of
Speaker 1: this gang member and they run off and they split
Speaker 1: up because they're running and Ricky who was gonna go be?
Speaker 1: Who was gonna go You know he was he was
Speaker 1: getting a scholarship to play football. He already had a
Speaker 1: kid and a girlfriend. He was pulling his family out
Speaker 1: of poverty, you know, Ricky was. He had he stopped
Speaker 1: by the store, I think he got milk, and he
Speaker 1: was doing scratch off lottery tickets. He loved to do that,
Speaker 1: and he was too busy doing that, and he didn't
Speaker 1: see the drive by coming, Like he didn't see that
Speaker 1: the gang members had caught up with him, right, And
Speaker 1: as he's walking, the saxophones are the soundtrack of the
Speaker 1: movie is getting louder. The saxophones are getting louder until
Speaker 1: he gets shot. I just just a little tidbit of information,
Speaker 1: because I know a lot of you do not know
Speaker 1: that movie, and a lot of you did not know
Speaker 1: the saxophones getting louder trend came from that anyway, a
Speaker 1: man of Knox, The saxophones kept getting louder and louder,
Speaker 1: and that bitch had on earplugs. She is so lucky.
Speaker 1: She's like the luckiest person in the fucking world. And
Speaker 1: I know you may not think that because she did
Speaker 1: some Italian prison time over crime that she didn't commit.
Speaker 1: I fully believe she didn't commit that crime. I also
Speaker 1: believe she's to be evaluated for autism. And I don't
Speaker 1: mean that in a like insult way. She has a
Speaker 1: hard time reading social situations, like a really hard obvious
Speaker 1: social situations, you know, like really like, I don't think.
Speaker 1: I just feel like, I just feel like she could
Speaker 1: do with some accommodations. Mmm, she could do with Like,
Speaker 1: so she should be accommodated in some ways because there's
Speaker 1: just some skills she can't she didn't learn naturally, and
Speaker 1: I don't know that she could learn at this age anyway.
Speaker 1: Lena gave me that impression. Lena is incredibly naive, so
Speaker 1: fucking naive. At some point she said that she didn't
Speaker 1: give she never gave off like born and raised New Yorker.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, she that like she seemed like
Speaker 1: a transplant from the Midwest. I was like, exactly, I don't.
Speaker 1: You are so surprised by so many things. But she's
Speaker 1: an intellectualizer. She is absolutely just like I am. She
Speaker 1: is absolutely someone who could turn something around in her
Speaker 1: head and pick it every part of it and dissect it.
Speaker 1: She knows herself so fucking well. She knows exactly why
Speaker 1: she's doing things. She can she can explain where the
Speaker 1: feelings are coming from and what they're I bet she
Speaker 1: wins therapy every single time. She probably goes with therapy
Speaker 1: twice a week, and I bet she wins therapy because
Speaker 1: she can go in there and do all the things.
Speaker 1: She could probably get the therapist therapy. You know. But
Speaker 1: I wrote in threads that I'm realizing but that's not true.
Speaker 1: I've known this for a long long time. I'm just
Speaker 1: now accepting it that being incredibly self aware is not
Speaker 1: the same as handling your shit, like being able to
Speaker 1: name why you do things is not the same as
Speaker 1: working to be better. And there this book reminded me
Speaker 1: a bit of lamar Odam's book, I mean lamar Odem's documentary,
Speaker 1: and that the character arc is missing. And these aren't
Speaker 1: characters that are real people, obviously, But in any story,
Speaker 1: which is what a book is giving you, what a
Speaker 1: documentary is trying to trying to narrate a story to you,
Speaker 1: the characters in the story cannot be the same at
Speaker 1: the beginning as they are at the end. Lena is
Speaker 1: the same at the beginning and the end of her book.
Speaker 1: The difference is the people around her are different. She's
Speaker 1: she's interacting with men who aren't sadists and want to
Speaker 1: her and wanna and get off on seeing her in pain,
Speaker 1: who aren't drug addicts and all these other things. She's
Speaker 1: interacting with men that aren't and she talks about her
Speaker 1: husband very briefly, but she just describes them as different.
Speaker 1: She doesn't describe herself as different, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: like like how are you different? But yeah, this is
Speaker 1: this is She's just very self aware. She's just not
Speaker 1: other aware. That's okay. So the first thing I want
Speaker 1: to talk about, I'm not obviously not going in order,
Speaker 1: but the first thing I want to talk about is
Speaker 1: the sibling stuff. Lena Dunham had uh as a trans brother,
Speaker 1: as a trans brother, a trans man as a brother. Okay,
Speaker 1: his name is Cyrus. Many times throughout the book she
Speaker 1: is talking about Cyrus, but Cyrus is not transitioned, okay.
Speaker 1: And it seemed like it seems like her relationship with
Speaker 1: Cyrus is very close the her. Her being famous really
Speaker 1: fucked with Cyrus a lot of anytime Lena was going
Speaker 1: viral for stuff at the time Cyrus was coming out
Speaker 1: as trans, and it really overshadowed that. It seems like
Speaker 1: like I didn't know Lena Dunham had all addiction. I
Speaker 1: didn't know she went to rehab. I didn't know any
Speaker 1: of that shit. I don't know if that was public.
Speaker 1: I just didn't know any shit. It seems like when
Speaker 1: Lena was going to rehab for a pill addiction, like
Speaker 1: Cyrus was the only one. I was like, yeah, like
Speaker 1: that has been affecting your life for the last however
Speaker 1: many years. Everyone else was like hmm okay, but Cyrus
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, that makes sense. I will say that
Speaker 1: Cyrus was flaky and Cyrus did turn down, like did
Speaker 1: fuck over a lot of things that Lena tried to
Speaker 1: do for them. By the way, you, Cyrus is in Girls.
Speaker 1: I think it's the last season. Hasn't he hasn't transitioned yet,
Speaker 1: but he's giving butch lesbian in it. But uh, completely different. Now,
Speaker 1: one thing I want to talk about in this cipling relationship.
Speaker 1: Cyrus is like five years younger than Lena. Okay, so
Speaker 1: remember that first book she wrote and I don't remember
Speaker 1: the words at all, but remember when it feels like
Speaker 1: in Aside, it wasn't the story that she was telling
Speaker 1: about how she talks about putting some rocks in Cyrus's
Speaker 1: Then vagina, I don't actually know. I know Cyrus had
Speaker 1: top surgery, I don't know anything else about Cyrus. So
Speaker 1: I'm saying then vagina because it's possible that vagina isn't
Speaker 1: here anymore. Lena talks about that in the book, and
Speaker 1: again it wasn't the main story that I remember that part,
Speaker 1: Like Cyrus was a baby, so I'm thinking Lena was six,
Speaker 1: maybe because Cyrus was born when they were five, maybe
Speaker 1: she was five or six. I want to start here.
Speaker 1: Whenever you talk about Lena Dunnan, Lena Dunham, people are like,
Speaker 1: she's a sexual assault and that's what they're talking about.
Speaker 1: She said, Lena thinks this happened. Lena thinks Lena thinks
Speaker 1: a right wing like propaganda website got ahold of the
Speaker 1: book pulled out the quotes that they wanted to. They
Speaker 1: wanted her like that they were first, they thought were
Speaker 1: the most damning, and like that's how this all got started. Maybe,
Speaker 1: but I don't think that if that white wing like
Speaker 1: website wasn't there, I don't think that nobody would care
Speaker 1: about this. So I'll tell you my opinion on this
Speaker 1: cause I hate a fence center because for a while
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't fucking know, but I and
Speaker 1: I hate a person that just will not form an opinion.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you what my opinion is. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: call this sexual assault Lena l I believe Lena was
Speaker 1: no older than seven. Now, if you know that Lena
Speaker 1: was like fourteen or some shit, tell me, cause that
Speaker 1: I'm giving this based on my impressions of what happened.
Speaker 1: I have not heard Lena talk about this. I read
Speaker 1: in the book many years ago. She doesn't describe it
Speaker 1: again in this book. I believe Lena was five or
Speaker 1: six years old. I mean, was five or six years old,
Speaker 1: probably no older than seven. I'm gonna tell you that.
Speaker 1: You guys know, I used to be a foster parent.
Speaker 1: I used to work with this place, children children going
Speaker 1: through those traumatic incidents, and therefore lots of things happened.
Speaker 1: If I were in that experience and that was one
Speaker 1: of my foster kids, I would describe that as an
Speaker 1: I would describe that as an inappropriate touch. That's why
Speaker 1: I would describe a seven year old doing something like that, right,
Speaker 1: I would not describe it as a sexual assault. And
Speaker 1: you guys know, I get kind of crazy about the
Speaker 1: term sexual assault. It's almost useless because it covers everything, right,
Speaker 1: And when you hear sexual assault, if I had known
Speaker 1: this story, if I heard sexual assault, I would think
Speaker 1: Lena Dunham raped someone. I would think Lena Dunham did
Speaker 1: a debbie from shameless like roofied somebody and then forced
Speaker 1: like had sex with them. I would think, And Lena
Speaker 1: Dunham had run up to someone and like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: mashed her vagina in their face. I would think that
Speaker 1: Lena had penetrated someone with something. That's what I would
Speaker 1: be thinking if you said so, that's the first thing
Speaker 1: that come to my mind. So the first thing that
Speaker 1: comes to most people mind. Although sexual assault could mean
Speaker 1: you unwantedly touched them in a sexual way, it could
Speaker 1: also mean that technically, it could mean like you taking
Speaker 1: pictures of someone in a sexual situation without their consent
Speaker 1: or without their knowledge and distribute them. That is also
Speaker 1: a sexual assault. And so like, while I think technically
Speaker 1: you could call this a sexual assault, I think you
Speaker 1: need to take into account her age at the time
Speaker 1: and whether whether this fits the connotation of sexual assault.
Speaker 1: I don't think it is. Her age is what changes
Speaker 1: it for me. That said, so, let's say this is
Speaker 1: this is Lina molesting or assaulting someone at a at
Speaker 1: a elementary school age. That's not on her, that's on
Speaker 1: the parents. That her parents take more responsibility than that
Speaker 1: than Lena could. And third, I want to know why
Speaker 1: I was in this was in the book either way?
Speaker 1: Why would this be in the fucking book? Now? Liz
Speaker 1: rightfully pointed out that she wrote that she didn't get
Speaker 1: permission to write this book. She didn't have a contract
Speaker 1: to write this book. She was just writing because that's
Speaker 1: how she processes talking and writing also something that we
Speaker 1: have in common. She's just writing stories. And then it
Speaker 1: kind of developed into a book, and then she started
Speaker 1: trying to shop it around and she had like fifteen
Speaker 1: editors publishers that wanted that book. There was a bidding war,
Speaker 1: and I guarantee you that people were very easy on
Speaker 1: the edits on that book because they didn't want to
Speaker 1: make her un happy because she could always go somewhere else,
Speaker 1: couldn't she. So that is that's what I think happened,
Speaker 1: because books have to go through many mini rounds of
Speaker 1: review and it's just like, who thought that was a
Speaker 1: good story? Now? Lena said, well, the other thing I
Speaker 1: want to ask you guys, how are y'all getting access
Speaker 1: to your siblings genital so easily? How is that a thing?
Speaker 1: I grew up with a mother who was really strict
Speaker 1: about those sorts of things. I wouldn't say she was
Speaker 1: stricter than the other families I knew, but she was
Speaker 1: serious about stuff like that. And I just don't understand.
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't grow up in a naked house, right,
Speaker 1: That's not a thing that I grew up in. I
Speaker 1: don't know why y'all are naked all the time. I
Speaker 1: don't know why it's it's important for your children to
Speaker 1: see your naked body parts all the time. I'm not
Speaker 1: talking about two year olds that. I'm not talking about breastfeeding.
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about that, But I'm just talking about
Speaker 1: the fact that you don't have any clothes on, or
Speaker 1: you have very little clothes on, and so do your children,
Speaker 1: and you're just living life. I just feel like private
Speaker 1: parts are private for a reason, Like that sanctity of
Speaker 1: my body belongs to me is something I teach in
Speaker 1: all the children that I guide, like any children that's
Speaker 1: under my care. It's one of the main tenets of
Speaker 1: your rights in this home and in this world is
Speaker 1: that your body belongs to you. Your privates are private
Speaker 1: to you. They are not for other people's use or viewage,
Speaker 1: or any of those things. That's for you. You can
Speaker 1: if you need you with the doctor or if you
Speaker 1: need mom to help with something, I absolutely will do that.
Speaker 1: But this is not for everybody else in the world
Speaker 1: to consume. There for you. And so I don't understand
Speaker 1: how you even get access to your sister's vagina. I
Speaker 1: just don't get it. And I'm not saying I've never
Speaker 1: taken a bath with my brother's like just a year
Speaker 1: and three months younger than me. I have. I was
Speaker 1: a toddler at the time. We didn't after that that
Speaker 1: we didn't do that, and I have I did try
Speaker 1: to convince them he could poop out of this penis.
Speaker 1: I did. I was like, you already have a hole,
Speaker 1: and this will be more efficient if youpede and poop
Speaker 1: out of this hole. So it's not like I'm like,
Speaker 1: how did Lina, Like I think I understand how Lena
Speaker 1: got access to Cyrus's vagina. I think Cyrus was a baby,
Speaker 1: and Lena talks about how she always wanted like she
Speaker 1: would hug and kiss and like and like give the
Speaker 1: bottle and be like, can we just say this is
Speaker 1: my baby? Like Lena was very I think Lena was
Speaker 1: doing diaper changes and stuff like Lena was. But we're outside,
Speaker 1: I'm assuming this baby is clothed. I don't even think
Speaker 1: babies should be a genital should be for anybody to
Speaker 1: see and view and be in contact with. We babysit
Speaker 1: like two different guys. My husband is a godfather of
Speaker 1: the three children, and I think he's a deadbeat godfather,
Speaker 1: to be honest, because sometimes I have to remind him.
Speaker 1: We'll be like who. I like, yeah, you don't know
Speaker 1: that your godson. But we babysit them, and like one's
Speaker 1: an infant and one's like you just turned two. Still
Speaker 1: in diavers though, and so well it's not in diapers anymore.
Speaker 1: Just a night when they're over and it's time to
Speaker 1: change the baby. I don't let a seven year old
Speaker 1: change a baby. I don't even let the fifteen year
Speaker 1: old change your baby unless it's apps fucklutely necessary. I
Speaker 1: am like, no, I'm an adult, a safe adult, and
Speaker 1: I will take care of this. And no, you don't
Speaker 1: need to hover around me while we're doing this. I
Speaker 1: just feel like anyway, I just like, where did these
Speaker 1: rocks come from? And how were I can't imagine a
Speaker 1: situation in which I would be like, Okay, that makes
Speaker 1: sense if that happened. And also if it happened, I
Speaker 1: think I would be trying to counsel the importance of
Speaker 1: this was a mistake that you made. I don't ever
Speaker 1: want to see this again because I try to explain
Speaker 1: about body autonomy and specifically that you don't have a
Speaker 1: right to touch, interact, or even look at baby's vagina. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's not for you, and yours is also a private thing,
Speaker 1: like nobody has a right to do those things. And secondly,
Speaker 1: I would be like, and because other people wouldn't understand
Speaker 1: this is something we keep at home. I would hate
Speaker 1: for other people to hear this story and get the
Speaker 1: wrong idea about you, because people can make assumptions. And
Speaker 1: so I think this is a home conversation, not at
Speaker 1: anywhere else conversation, I think. But Lena says that they
Speaker 1: had been talking about this. This was a perfect family story,
Speaker 1: she did. They bring it up all the time, and
Speaker 1: she's like, if people think this story is bad, what
Speaker 1: if they find out that when I was four, I
Speaker 1: went to I was at a park and I told
Speaker 1: a group of near strangers that when I'm bad at home,
Speaker 1: someone puts a fork in my vagina, and I'm like, hey, Lena,
Speaker 1: you don't understand how those two stories are different. Four
Speaker 1: year olds say shit like that all the fucking time.
Speaker 1: They'll be like, they're like, what did you have for lunch? Poop?
Speaker 1: My daddy's shit, Oh shit, my daddy took a poop
Speaker 1: on a plate. And I ate they say crazy shit
Speaker 1: all the time, and they love peepee, pooh pooh private
Speaker 1: part humor. Todlers loved shit like that. Well, I guess
Speaker 1: she techned four, she was on taller, she was a preschooler.
Speaker 1: But yeah, they love like that at that age. That
Speaker 1: is absolutely something that a four year old would say normally. No,
Speaker 1: I'm sure a million people have stories of being four
Speaker 1: years old and telling people something crazy about their private
Speaker 1: parts or someone else's private parts, saying, you know, saying
Speaker 1: daddy can shoot fire out of his private parts. When
Speaker 1: daddy takes a poop, he I don't know, he eats
Speaker 1: a sandwich and stays in there all night and then
Speaker 1: the poop overflows and then we can't go to the
Speaker 1: bath No one's been able to go to the bathroom
Speaker 1: for three days. That nonsensical story that, yeah, a lot
Speaker 1: of people could tell you a story like that, very
Speaker 1: very few could tell you a story of placing rocks
Speaker 1: in their siblings Vagina. Okay, And not only could very
Speaker 1: few people tell you that, most of them wouldn't tell
Speaker 1: you that. That's the thing, Lena, most of them wouldn't
Speaker 1: tell you that you are aggressively toxically transparent. Like some
Speaker 1: of this shit is not meant to be repeated. And
Speaker 1: she said that she grew up in She said she understood,
Speaker 1: she grew up in a world where story where ideas
Speaker 1: couldn't be bad, only actions. So this story couldn't have
Speaker 1: been like, a story couldn't be bad. And to that,
Speaker 1: I want to say to you, Lena, a story is
Speaker 1: not an idea. A story is a recollection of events actions.
Speaker 1: So when you tell a recollection of actions that people
Speaker 1: could moralize into being bad, I want to be clear.
Speaker 1: I don't think this is good. I just don't think
Speaker 1: I would I would categorize as a sexual assault. I
Speaker 1: might call it a molestation. And if you want to
Speaker 1: call it sexual assault, I don't blame you, but I'm
Speaker 1: just saying that, like, this needs to be a lot more.
Speaker 1: There's a lot more nuanced. It's not she was not
Speaker 1: sixteen years old doing this. She was not twenty three,
Speaker 1: She wasn't even ten doing this. My understanding, I think
Speaker 1: she was no older than seven and seven year olds. Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know what y'all. I don't know if y'all
Speaker 1: been around some seven year olds, Like seven year olds
Speaker 1: do crazy shit all the time. I just don't know
Speaker 1: how she had access to it. Like, that's so crazy
Speaker 1: that she did that. This so fucking crazy. I want
Speaker 1: to talk a bit about her parents stuff. Let's let's
Speaker 1: talk about that Lena's parents. She has an issue with
Speaker 1: being called a nepo baby. Her parents aren't rich, but
Speaker 1: they are known in the art scene. Lena did grow
Speaker 1: up in an apartment in New York City, apartment they owned.
Speaker 1: When Lina was hitting hot rock bottom, she could go
Speaker 1: stay in her parents loft and tried becca. But they
Speaker 1: didn't necessarily have the money to fund her life and
Speaker 1: will her parents, I would not call them rich. Okay,
Speaker 1: they did fund Lena's tiny furniture, which I've never seen.
Speaker 1: Uh tiny furniture movie. That's kicked all this off, and
Speaker 1: we'll talk more about that. Uh, they they weren't able
Speaker 1: to like just give her ten thousand dollars to do it,
Speaker 1: but they call upon their friends and do so to
Speaker 1: get it. They just they just had connections, and connections
Speaker 1: can be as valuable as money. They got her first agent,
Speaker 1: like I said, they funded that, They got the funding
Speaker 1: for that that movie Lena. So when they pulled all
Speaker 1: the quotes from this to to entice us to buy
Speaker 1: this book, that it was a lot of quotes about
Speaker 1: Jack Antonov, who I don't even fuck about. I don't care.
Speaker 1: I know that y'all care because he is very connected
Speaker 1: to Taylor Swift, and I know that there are a
Speaker 1: lot of theories that they don't fuck with each other
Speaker 1: right now, which is and that like he is the
Speaker 1: the producer behind most of her albums, her latter ones,
Speaker 1: and that like they are work, and that's you know,
Speaker 1: I know, that's why a lot of people care. I
Speaker 1: don't care about that. I wish that more people knew that.
Speaker 1: This book is a story of an incredibly immeshed family
Speaker 1: and a friendship breakup and addiction and sickness, and her
Speaker 1: family is super I messed. She describes her mother as
Speaker 1: a top her mother, I would not call her mother nice.
Speaker 1: She reminds me a lot of my mother, and that
Speaker 1: like my mother is not we don't a nice person,
Speaker 1: isn't what we would call my mother. Yesterday I got
Speaker 1: I was a menacing walmart. I got into it. There
Speaker 1: was a woman in not a wheelchair, but she was
Speaker 1: like one of those. She was sitting in one of
Speaker 1: those walkers, a walker that if you turned around you
Speaker 1: could sit on it. She didn't one of those. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to go to self checkout, she says. I can't
Speaker 1: go to check out self check out because I have
Speaker 1: more than fifteen items. If I was in my right mind,
Speaker 1: I would have ignored her right the the lines to
Speaker 1: check out at the with a person or super long,
Speaker 1: and also I don't want to talk to anybody. If
Speaker 1: I was in my red mind, would ignore her because
Speaker 1: that's what Yvonne taught me to do. Right. Yvonne taught
Speaker 1: me that if you don't want to the rules don't
Speaker 1: apply to you. That's and they used to stress me
Speaker 1: out as a kid all the time. She my mother
Speaker 1: skips lines. My mother, Uh, just decide she doesn't have
Speaker 1: to do something. And she would always say if the
Speaker 1: rules don't apply to you, if the rules don't include you,
Speaker 1: then they don't apply to you. So if she could
Speaker 1: come up with a reason why that rule didn't up,
Speaker 1: like wasn't a c wasn't meshing with her situation, she'd
Speaker 1: be like, that doesn't apply to me. They don't mean me.
Speaker 1: And like I said, they used to. It used to
Speaker 1: freak me the fuck out as a kid. I'd be like,
Speaker 1: we're late. She's like, oh, we'll just walk in. Mom,
Speaker 1: the line is long. Okay, Well let me go over
Speaker 1: friend and tell him I gotta go to work. They'll
Speaker 1: let me, And they often did. And my mother, I've
Speaker 1: told the story a million times. We were actually talking
Speaker 1: about yesterday. She she remembered it. This time, we were
Speaker 1: sitting at five Points about to go to the stip.
Speaker 1: We were waiting for simply fashions to open place. My
Speaker 1: mother would get close because they were having a sale
Speaker 1: and five Points is notorious for addicts and unhoused people
Speaker 1: all over the place. And a man came up to
Speaker 1: our car like hey, baby, hey sweet, like something like that,
Speaker 1: Like like he could be trying to flirt with her,
Speaker 1: he'd be trying to get money from her either way.
Speaker 1: And my mother would not even looking at him, just
Speaker 1: rolled the window up and I was like, Mama, he's
Speaker 1: talking to you, And she said, he cannot talk to
Speaker 1: me unless I let him talk to me. I'm not
Speaker 1: talking to him, so like people aren't. And I remember that,
Speaker 1: like did something to my brain, this idea that someone
Speaker 1: could be talking and directing it to you, but you
Speaker 1: don't have to, Like you could only have a conversation
Speaker 1: with me if I let you, Right, if I don't
Speaker 1: let you, you just talking and sit over there and talk.
Speaker 1: But only if I only if I give you permission,
Speaker 1: could we be in a conversation together that like something
Speaker 1: like did that to my brain. I'm not my mother.
Speaker 1: I don't skip lines, and I generally follow the rules.
Speaker 1: But if I were not off my game, I would
Speaker 1: just walk past that lady. But I was like, I
Speaker 1: do have fifteen items or like something like that, because
Speaker 1: the thing is I had many things in my car,
Speaker 1: but I had it was only fifteen items. It wasn't
Speaker 1: it like I had a bunch of yogurt and that
Speaker 1: counts as one item, right. She was like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you have to go over to the to those f lines.
Speaker 1: So I went over there. I was annoyed and was
Speaker 1: I nice, No, oh, here's another thing I'm sitting in
Speaker 1: this fucking line. I would have been done by now.
Speaker 1: A man goes over to one of the stuff checkouts.
Speaker 1: I was like, ma'am, you don't see him, what about him?
Speaker 1: What about him? Which is not a thing I would
Speaker 1: normally do, but I was in a mood and she
Speaker 1: was like, he got fifteen items. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you can't count, and I went back to so uh.
Speaker 1: You know, we just had verbal conversation. But I told
Speaker 1: my the reason I'm talking about this, And there's another thing.
Speaker 1: I fucking shouldn't have listened to her, And I should
Speaker 1: have just went to the self checkout, because what the
Speaker 1: fuck is she gonna do? Chase me? She can't chase me.
Speaker 1: How how could you chase me? And first of all,
Speaker 1: if you could chase me, I don't think you're great
Speaker 1: at walking. If you could chase me, what you're gonna do,
Speaker 1: I'll already be checking out. You're gonna prevent me from
Speaker 1: checking out. You can't put your hand. No, you can't
Speaker 1: prevent me from checking out. I'll just keep checking out,
Speaker 1: like I'll just keep scanning things and then I'll pay
Speaker 1: for it. I'll leave. You can't put your hands on me.
Speaker 1: That's that's against the rules. You you a rule follower,
Speaker 1: are not me, And if you put your hands on
Speaker 1: me in anger, I'm just gonna push you down because anyway, anyway,
Speaker 1: here's another thing. I was thinking. If you would normally
Speaker 1: fight in a situation and someone is disabled and you
Speaker 1: won't fight them, that's able us because you know disabled
Speaker 1: people can get it too. Ask the blind man I
Speaker 1: push down the stairs, you can get it too. Like
Speaker 1: we're equals, I'll discriminate. So anyway, none of that happened.
Speaker 1: I did not hit anybody. When I used to get
Speaker 1: into verbal and physical altercations in public, my network was
Speaker 1: negative seventy two dollars and I had no children. Now
Speaker 1: it's not the same. I have children. I need to
Speaker 1: be around for them. I don't get into tussles with
Speaker 1: people me Like asking her why she let that do
Speaker 1: go was the was the most I would probably do
Speaker 1: in this day and age. I'm not fighting anybody. I
Speaker 1: did leave, and I was annoyed, and I did think
Speaker 1: to myself, Princess, you're off your game, because normally you
Speaker 1: would not even hear her because you wouldn't be talking
Speaker 1: to her. I didn't have my earbuds in either because
Speaker 1: when I have my earbuds in public all the time,
Speaker 1: so I really am like, I can hear you, I'm
Speaker 1: not interacting with you. And two, she can't fucking chase you.
Speaker 1: I told my mother about this, okay. My mother said, Okay,
Speaker 1: if that happened to me, I would just take my
Speaker 1: car and throw all that shit on top of her
Speaker 1: and leave. And I was like why, she's like, because
Speaker 1: why is she even talking to me? That's what Yvonne is, okay,
Speaker 1: and she has. She has definitely been a source of
Speaker 1: inspiration for me from down to time. We're just not
Speaker 1: the same type of person. We're just not my mother.
Speaker 1: Once in a store she was she was checking out
Speaker 1: with the cashier and the cashier was like, kind of rude,
Speaker 1: and then didn't tell her the total. It was one
Speaker 1: of those places where the thing was turned around, so
Speaker 1: she didn't know what the total was and didn't tell
Speaker 1: her total. So my Mom's just sitting there and the
Speaker 1: cashiers like, well, ain't you gonna pay? And I was like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean, ain't I gonna pay? How much
Speaker 1: is it? And she turned the thing around and pointed
Speaker 1: at it. And at this point, my mother was already
Speaker 1: mad because she was slamming the stuff and she and
Speaker 1: she didn't respond to good morning or whatever. It was
Speaker 1: just a rude interaction. Why did my mother just leave
Speaker 1: that shit there? Leave the store? And like a man
Speaker 1: tried to chase her and was like, man, I help you,
Speaker 1: I'll help you. My mother was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: no fucking help from he hand. She drove to another store,
Speaker 1: another grocery store, just like it and all the same
Speaker 1: shit that. My mother is petty, and so I would
Speaker 1: not describe her as a nice person. She can be kind,
Speaker 1: but she's not a nice person. She's not trying to
Speaker 1: make you feel good, baby, and neither is Lena Dunham's mother.
Speaker 1: She can be very sharp and she has definitely told
Speaker 1: her that. I she's definitely told her some hard truths,
Speaker 1: and I think her and Lena's relationship is fraught. She
Speaker 1: does mention that her grandmother was an anorexic and that
Speaker 1: her three daughters, a lot of things her three daughters
Speaker 1: have inside them comes from living with an anorexic, for
Speaker 1: like their whole lives of whether their mother was gonna
Speaker 1: eat or not. And Lena Dunham's mother is very much
Speaker 1: like you're fat, you gain a lot of weight. You
Speaker 1: gotta do something you gain some weight. She is also
Speaker 1: like Lena was telling her, uh, how she'd met another
Speaker 1: writer in LA when she was new in LA and
Speaker 1: they told her, don't go for any TV jobs or
Speaker 1: something like that, you need to do indie stuff, don't
Speaker 1: you don't want to do TV work. And Lena's mother
Speaker 1: like laughed over the phone and said, she said that
Speaker 1: so you wouldn't go out for the jobs that she wants,
Speaker 1: which many of us would be thinking, but Lena never
Speaker 1: thought that. Uh, when Lena will get to her sickness.
Speaker 1: When Lena's sickness was to the point when they kept
Speaker 1: telling her they wouldn't give her hysterectomy, one of the
Speaker 1: doctors said a hysterectomy takes the soul away from a woman,
Speaker 1: like some real dumb shit. And Lena's mother just like
Speaker 1: toted her to the er after it got real bad
Speaker 1: and was like, get this uterus out of my daughter.
Speaker 1: She's just like she's a top and at one point,
Speaker 1: but she is the type of person that will defend
Speaker 1: Lena to the fucking death. Their relationship can be a
Speaker 1: little fraud, but Lena if you come for Lena, she
Speaker 1: will come for you. So far fucking heard, Like again,
Speaker 1: we'll talk about this. What makes Alena done him exhausting?
Speaker 1: But she's had so many mental health disorders as a child,
Speaker 1: the OCD, the anxiety, just so much shit, and she's
Speaker 1: always needed a lot of care from her parents. And
Speaker 1: one of her mother's friends, she was on the phone
Speaker 1: and Lena overheard was saying, I don't even know how
Speaker 1: she's gonna exist outside your house. And her mother, who
Speaker 1: also thinks Lena is a lot, was defending her hardcore
Speaker 1: and was like, actually, you should be more concerned with
Speaker 1: the amount of sex your daughter's having or something like that.
Speaker 1: And the same when Jenny, Lena's partner called and was like,
Speaker 1: don't you think some of this is in her head?
Speaker 1: And this like her mother like gave it fucking to her.
Speaker 1: But and that's I have a similar mother. My mother
Speaker 1: is a top. My mother is someone that will criticize
Speaker 1: the fuck out of me, but if you try to
Speaker 1: criticize one of her children, she'll be like, how fucking
Speaker 1: dare you? And I remember her, like some kids were
Speaker 1: making fun of me this when I was I used
Speaker 1: to cry all the time, like all the time you
Speaker 1: could say, you could say half a word to me.
Speaker 1: I just burst out in tears. And some kids were
Speaker 1: making if we were in the projects, and some kids
Speaker 1: were making fun of me, and I told my mom,
Speaker 1: and my mom came out of the house and she
Speaker 1: was like screaming at those kids like fuck you, I
Speaker 1: will whoop your ass. I dare you to come over here.
Speaker 1: Get away. Also, I dare to come over and also
Speaker 1: get away from here. Your parents can come out here.
Speaker 1: I fucking fight them too. Yeah, go get your mama.
Speaker 1: You a little bit like and I'm like crying in
Speaker 1: the background, like yeah, mama. You know. Like that's how
Speaker 1: my mom was with us. She would she would come
Speaker 1: up and fight with teachers that not physically fight, but
Speaker 1: be like I don't not with me. I was great,
Speaker 1: but my brother she would have to like fight for
Speaker 1: those things. And like my mother is just that's how she. Okay,
Speaker 1: don't get her height. Okay. She lost me in a
Speaker 1: store one time when I was a baby because she
Speaker 1: was fighting some woman and she just handed me to
Speaker 1: a stranger and then she had to come find me
Speaker 1: after her fight because like I'm just living my best
Speaker 1: life with these strangers this white lady, and I think
Speaker 1: maybe she don't take me home, But my mother showed
Speaker 1: up and I was like, dang, I could have lived
Speaker 1: a good life. No, but that's why my mother's like,
Speaker 1: she like, don't start it with her. Okay, she can
Speaker 1: see very mild mannered, very mild mannered if you meet
Speaker 1: her at church, or if you meet her at the
Speaker 1: in the rooms you know, at her sobriety meetings, but
Speaker 1: not not if you get it, if you get into
Speaker 1: it with her. Not if you get into it, and
Speaker 1: my mom will dodge you for a long time. My
Speaker 1: mother was also the person that taught me that just
Speaker 1: because somebody sent you the message doesn't mean a message
Speaker 1: is for you. Somebody that was with her, somebody that
Speaker 1: sent her a Facebook message asking for money. And she says, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't think this was meant for me, that the
Speaker 1: algorithm or something, the algorithmss is something. I was like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean? It says she's using your name.
Speaker 1: She's like, oh, but she's asking for money, so that's
Speaker 1: not meant for me. And like again this I was
Speaker 1: an adult adult when this happened. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you you're right. I can just decide a message isn't
Speaker 1: for me and move on. Even if it was directed
Speaker 1: at me, I can be like, oh nah, that's not
Speaker 1: that's not for me and just let it go, just
Speaker 1: dodge it like the fucking matrix. Like I can do that,
Speaker 1: and I have done that. But I just like shocking,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I was thinking, like, they sent
Speaker 1: me a message, I have to respond to it. And
Speaker 1: my mother is just thinking, hmm, only if I accept
Speaker 1: the message to can I do I have to respond
Speaker 1: to Only if I accept the things you're saying in
Speaker 1: this and I accepted they are for me, do I
Speaker 1: have to respond to you? You have not put the
Speaker 1: correct combination of words in this message, and therefore I
Speaker 1: don't think this is for me. Denied anyway, my mother.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of things like that. Emma Green Lady's
Speaker 1: been talking about three hour three hour parenting. Guys, That
Speaker 1: advice is not for you. If you work at the
Speaker 1: front desk of the insurance office, stand down, it's not
Speaker 1: for you. This is for somebody who wants to oh,
Speaker 1: who wants to be a CEO of a four hundred
Speaker 1: million dollar company. This is for people the type of
Speaker 1: person that would buy a book about how to make
Speaker 1: it in corporate. That's who that is for. Somebody who
Speaker 1: wants to be in the C suite. Somebody who is like,
Speaker 1: I wanna make three hundred thousand dollars this year, that's
Speaker 1: that's who that's for. Okay, dollar store associate, it's not
Speaker 1: for you. So when she says things like I don't
Speaker 1: do this, I don't do that, and I only parent
Speaker 1: three hours a day and I'm and I show up
Speaker 1: for the big thing, but I'm working the rest of
Speaker 1: the time, she's not wrong about that. She's right. That's
Speaker 1: how you have to do it if that's the type
Speaker 1: of career you have. But if that's not the type
Speaker 1: of career you have. Parenting three hours a day and
Speaker 1: you're there seven hours a day, something else is happening.
Speaker 1: And I just want you to know that my mother
Speaker 1: parented an hour and a half a day, even in
Speaker 1: our day off, an hour and a half. Split over
Speaker 1: three kids, get in where you fit in. And if
Speaker 1: your brother took forty five listen, the other two of
Speaker 1: y'all gotta split this forty five minutes because I don't
Speaker 1: have time for you. But emotional neglect. Party of three,
Speaker 1: only one of us really cares about it, though the
Speaker 1: rest is like I don't care. So I was emotionally
Speaker 1: neglected as a child, but at the same time, and
Speaker 1: that's why I was talking about, Like I don't remember
Speaker 1: what documentary I was doing, but someone said that they
Speaker 1: like found their birth mom or they learned more about
Speaker 1: their birth mom, and they were like, Oh, I finally
Speaker 1: felt like someone's baby, And that was I had to
Speaker 1: sit with that for a minute. While I experienced emotional
Speaker 1: neglect as a child, I have never been doubtful that
Speaker 1: I was someone's baby, that I belonged to my mother
Speaker 1: in all ways, that I belonged to her, and that
Speaker 1: did she wanna like talk about my feelings. No, she wanted.
Speaker 1: She wanted to let me know, there's gonna be a
Speaker 1: long life if you keep. If you keep, if you
Speaker 1: can't do nothing, if you upset, if you're gonna land
Speaker 1: on the floor every time you get upset, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be a long life. And I don't have time for
Speaker 1: this shit, cause I'm only parent in an hour and
Speaker 1: a half a day and you're taking up too much
Speaker 1: time right now. Yeah, that's how she that's how she
Speaker 1: dealt with things. She didn't think I had any feelings.
Speaker 1: I was a pet, but nobody could come for me,
Speaker 1: and she would allow that to happen to me. This
Speaker 1: girl was gonna beat my ass cause we were fighting
Speaker 1: over my first boyfriend. She was calling a house threatening
Speaker 1: to beat my ass. My mom, uh, got over, got
Speaker 1: on the phone. It was basically, I dare your ass
Speaker 1: to come here. I dare you to come here, and
Speaker 1: don't ever call my number again. Like she's not having it,
Speaker 1: And she got the phone to cuss me out because
Speaker 1: she was like, I don't know why you fight. He
Speaker 1: is not worth that. This is not how you handle yourself.
Speaker 1: Like she cuss me the fuck out. But she was
Speaker 1: on the phone letting that woman know if you want it,
Speaker 1: come get it. I dare you too. That was a
Speaker 1: grown woman too. That was a grown woman with kids.
Speaker 1: And I was like, maybe eighteen, maybe I might have
Speaker 1: been seventeen. I was like, anyway, Lena listening to Lena's
Speaker 1: mom throughout this, but they're very en messed. Lena needs
Speaker 1: them for every fucking thing. Her dad's a little softer,
Speaker 1: but again, they're New York artists. A lot of things
Speaker 1: that they think are normal is not normal. A lot
Speaker 1: of things when the family gets to together. They're very
Speaker 1: like intellectual talk, very like who can who can talk
Speaker 1: the most and who can have the most thoughts and
Speaker 1: who can relate that to the most to the most
Speaker 1: like it's Jack talked about going to dinner with them
Speaker 1: being like exhausting, and I was like, yeah, it sound
Speaker 1: the sounds like they're exhausting. Her parents are. They don't
Speaker 1: understand fame. They don't understand how much and Lena wants it.
Speaker 1: By the way, Lena did not get famous accidentally. And
Speaker 1: Lena at the beginning wanted to go to everything. She
Speaker 1: wanted to go to every red carpet, she wanted to
Speaker 1: go to every interview she want. She's talking about being
Speaker 1: on a talk show in Norway that went on for
Speaker 1: like seven hours and people kept joining the couch and
Speaker 1: stuff like that. I was like, why were you on that?
Speaker 1: Because she said yes to everything, and her parents were like, no,
Speaker 1: you don't have to do that. No do you need
Speaker 1: to slow down, No you can't see out of your
Speaker 1: left eye, which brings me to our parents. We're always
Speaker 1: there by the way, which brings me to I don't
Speaker 1: don't don't mistake me here. Lena Dunham is exhausting. To
Speaker 1: be in her orbit is exhausting. Okay. Again, she's she
Speaker 1: has so many mental disorders, so many therapy appointments. She
Speaker 1: processes through talking and through writing, so it is a
Speaker 1: stream of consciousness at all time. Again, she's very self aware.
Speaker 1: She is not situationally aware, and she does not she
Speaker 1: doesn't have the emotional intelligends. She doesn't. That doesn't extend
Speaker 1: to other people. She during the course of this book,
Speaker 1: she had to what was this saying? She had to like,
Speaker 1: she's she's the talent on Girls and the creator and
Speaker 1: the writer, so she have to be like, I can't
Speaker 1: go to the Emmys this year because my cousin died.
Speaker 1: And I want to say this, I have, like I
Speaker 1: don't even remember anymore. I have like thirty six forty one,
Speaker 1: a lot of fucking cousins. I cannot throw a rock
Speaker 1: without hitting a first cousin because my both of my
Speaker 1: parents come from very large families, all right, I that
Speaker 1: saying your cousin died can mean many things. And if
Speaker 1: you come from a small family like Lena does, where
Speaker 1: I Lena might have three cousins maybe four, okay, and
Speaker 1: so you are much closer with your cousins than someone
Speaker 1: who has thirty seven cousins, right, I got a few cousins.
Speaker 1: I like, when I moved back to this area, I
Speaker 1: got a grocery delivery, it was my cousin. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: running into people. I haven't lived in the area where
Speaker 1: people can recognize me from high school for a really
Speaker 1: long time. People are recognizing me from high school, and
Speaker 1: my cousins are everywhere. But Lena's cousin died, her grandma died.
Speaker 1: She need to be here for this, she need to
Speaker 1: be here for that. So she was always like not
Speaker 1: at work. Then we talk about her illnesses and I'll
Speaker 1: list them out. But she had so many surgery for this,
Speaker 1: uh disassociated disorder for that and what it reminded me of,
Speaker 1: and like, so imagine you being her business partner, and
Speaker 1: every six months Lena can't be at work and it
Speaker 1: might not be every six months, every two months. I
Speaker 1: this is happening. That's happening. My cat died. Like I
Speaker 1: broke my elbow. It was my uterus. I took my
Speaker 1: uterus out. No, it's not my uterus now it's now
Speaker 1: it's uh. Now it's Eller. Daniel's sister Eler elos Edie
Speaker 1: s the it's a joint in connective tissue disorder and
Speaker 1: now it's that. Oh, I need to go to rehab
Speaker 1: like it is exhausting. And I know from experience because
Speaker 1: my early twenties were just like this. Although she wasn't
Speaker 1: in her early twenties when a lot of this happened.
Speaker 1: I was, like I thought, I thought Lena Dunham was
Speaker 1: like thirty when she left Public Eye for a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff, she was more closer to like thirty four.
Speaker 1: She wasn't in her twenties when all this is happening.
Speaker 1: My early twenties were fucking chaos, straight chaos all the time.
Speaker 1: Something was happening. My car was stolen. I got fired
Speaker 1: from this job for stealing U fried fish. My boyfriend
Speaker 1: is sleeping with an older woman. Now he's homeless. Now
Speaker 1: I need to pawn this so he can get a
Speaker 1: hotel room. I went to North Carolina in the middle
Speaker 1: of the night because my other boyfriend went down there
Speaker 1: to work like do did, and dentured server to thing
Speaker 1: at like a restaurant down there for the summer. It
Speaker 1: went down there. I actually ended up sleeping with somebody
Speaker 1: else down there, and the bed had fleas. I think
Speaker 1: it did. And now I have a sty in my
Speaker 1: eye and I broke the mirror on the car. I
Speaker 1: can't come into work today, okay. That like every time
Speaker 1: you would talk to me, I'd be like, they'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: how was today? I like, I did you call me?
Speaker 1: And I'd be like, sorry, I can't talk. I had
Speaker 1: a suicide attempt last night. Uh, looks like I might
Speaker 1: have to stay here, or like I'm your partner on
Speaker 1: a on a something in class and like I just
Speaker 1: don't do the work and you come by my house.
Speaker 1: I've been sleeping for four days, like just shit. It
Speaker 1: was always some thing. I locked myself out of the
Speaker 1: house three times in one day, three times in one day.
Speaker 1: The first time I got in through the window, but
Speaker 1: then like I closed one because I was like this
Speaker 1: is dangerous, and then I locked out again. I don't
Speaker 1: know why. I think I had my car keys and
Speaker 1: my home keys on different keys. Why would I do that?
Speaker 1: Why would I do that? Mm hmm, that's uh. I
Speaker 1: had sex with I met a guy at a bus stop,
Speaker 1: got in his car, went to his house, had sex
Speaker 1: with him, and then he drove me to where I
Speaker 1: was going on the bus. Why what the fuck would
Speaker 1: I be doing that. I'm working at dunkin Donuts. I
Speaker 1: don't want to work, and it's like catacorn to my
Speaker 1: dorm room. I don't want to work at dunk Donuts anymore,
Speaker 1: so I just don't go in. They call me. My
Speaker 1: lights are on, they can see me, and I'm not
Speaker 1: answering the phone. They're leaving messages like prisons, we can
Speaker 1: see you. Why would I do that? I started dating
Speaker 1: a thirty year old man when I was eighteen. He
Speaker 1: lived with his mom. Because any thirty year old, the
Speaker 1: once a day to eighteen year old is a fucking loser. Okay,
Speaker 1: didn't know that then, or maybe I did know that.
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't have a lot of this man.
Speaker 1: We spent a lot of time in hotels together. My
Speaker 1: father called my dorm room and I just wasn't there
Speaker 1: for twenty four hours and he was somewhere else, so
Speaker 1: he called my mother. My mother is freaking out. She's
Speaker 1: supposed to take one of my friends at the airport
Speaker 1: so he can go home for a break. She doesn't
Speaker 1: because she cannot even breathe. He's calling me, being like, bitch,
Speaker 1: you're my ride. Where are you? And I'm in a
Speaker 1: hotel on the beach front with a man that is
Speaker 1: too old for me and it's too and also is
Speaker 1: not attractive and sometimes is abusive, and so then okay,
Speaker 1: then I decided I don't want to do that either,
Speaker 1: so just go to him. He tries to come up
Speaker 1: to my dorm room. He tells them he's my father
Speaker 1: because I don't answer the phone, right, I don't answer
Speaker 1: the phone. He tells me to my father, can they
Speaker 1: let him in my room? They called? The security calls
Speaker 1: me up. I was like, that is not my father.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about. They tell him
Speaker 1: they were gonna call the police on him. He stands
Speaker 1: in the in the parking lot, screaming my name for
Speaker 1: over an hour. Over an hour. I've told you the
Speaker 1: stories of being in another abusive relationship in which we
Speaker 1: were fighting so hard that the police came into our
Speaker 1: apartment and we didn't even notice. And when they were
Speaker 1: like hey, and we're like, oh, what's up me? Domestic violence?
Speaker 1: None of that happened over here? What you mean us?
Speaker 1: We were practicing our wrestling. We're both ww like, I
Speaker 1: can't like my early twenties were like when I tell you,
Speaker 1: my early twenties were not good, and I don't have
Speaker 1: a lot of like like like, I missed a lot
Speaker 1: of pop culture because I was in a cyclone of
Speaker 1: my own making. My parents were like, are you on drugs?
Speaker 1: And I was like, I wish I was on drugs.
Speaker 1: I wish I was on drugs. I wish I was drunk,
Speaker 1: because then we could go to you could send me
Speaker 1: to rehab, and I could stop doing this. I don't
Speaker 1: know why, I don't know why this is happening, and
Speaker 1: I know for a fucking fact that I was exhausting
Speaker 1: to every person that I was. I was exhausting. You
Speaker 1: didn't want to hear. You just be like, Princess Howard
Speaker 1: was your weekend. I just start telling you shit and
Speaker 1: you'd be like, what what? Why would you do that?
Speaker 1: Why did that happen? Why were you even there that
Speaker 1: that's the type of shit that would happen. And my
Speaker 1: friends were Oh, at the time, my first boyfriend had
Speaker 1: gotten one of my friends pregnant. He got in two
Speaker 1: of my friends pregnant in high school. But we're just
Speaker 1: leaving high school and I was very close to this
Speaker 1: friend and so I just had to take it. And
Speaker 1: she was giving a baby for adoption, so I'd just
Speaker 1: be chilling with her all the time, and her racist
Speaker 1: parents who didn't know the baby that was in her
Speaker 1: was black, they just knew she was gonna Why was
Speaker 1: I doing that? And then me and that boyfriend broke up.
Speaker 1: Then he wanted to appall. He wanted to propose to
Speaker 1: his baby mama, who he had cheated on me with
Speaker 1: and gotten her pregnant, and I helped him figure out
Speaker 1: a way to propose to her, and then we had sex.
Speaker 1: What were we doing? Why was I doing this? Why
Speaker 1: was I doing this? Nobody knows. And so when Lena
Speaker 1: is talking about these bad relationships in with this drug
Speaker 1: addict who also has all these crazy seizures, and she
Speaker 1: doesn't realize that with uh when she's I mean, when
Speaker 1: she's talking about being with the guy who hated her,
Speaker 1: who she talked about this in her first book, who
Speaker 1: would like like say, like poor help things through, or
Speaker 1: they're having sex like chuck on my cock things like that,
Speaker 1: and would like and who it's not the same person
Speaker 1: that she was having sex when they took the condom
Speaker 1: off and like like, uh, finished inside her without her
Speaker 1: her consent, she would She's naming all these these relationships
Speaker 1: and even Jack. Be honest, Jack's relationship with her is weird.
Speaker 1: Do on paper they make sense? Yeah, she's a quirky
Speaker 1: indie girls you know, writer, and he's in the band
Speaker 1: and he's also like he did it Scarlett Johansson, and
Speaker 1: he's like quirky and fun and he's really into music.
Speaker 1: By the way, in the book, she's like, I can't
Speaker 1: believe he he dated Scarlet Johansson. I saw a picture
Speaker 1: of the two of them. They look why wouldn't they
Speaker 1: be dating? They look like they came from the same place.
Speaker 1: They look like they know each other from school or something.
Speaker 1: Don't nobody's ever looked more like they should be together
Speaker 1: than those two people. What are you talking about? And like,
Speaker 1: on paper it made sense Jack and Lena. But like
Speaker 1: I said, Jack, Lena is exhausting. I don't think Jack
Speaker 1: Antonov wanted to be written about and does and won't
Speaker 1: want to be written about. But he comes out pretty
Speaker 1: good in this. She does not say she thinks that
Speaker 1: he's spending too much time with Lord and that Lord
Speaker 1: calls her Auntie Lena, which but she does not confirm
Speaker 1: that he cheated on her. She does mention the power point.
Speaker 1: She says that plower point was so convincing that she
Speaker 1: thought that did it convince her things that she was
Speaker 1: there for it didn't happen like she she was like, damn,
Speaker 1: this is a good power point, which I appreciate her
Speaker 1: acknowledging because that person put she actually DM the person,
Speaker 1: and the person was like, didn't even really like her
Speaker 1: and was like what girl like. But for the most part,
Speaker 1: I think Jack comes off well. But a lot of
Speaker 1: what she did with him, their relationship died well before
Speaker 1: I would say, maybe years before they broke up. When
Speaker 1: Lena is recovering from her hysterectomy, she doesn't even go home.
Speaker 1: She goes to her parents' house. Well, he's not really
Speaker 1: around da da da da. That's not how somebody who
Speaker 1: loves you talks about you like he just a lot
Speaker 1: of their relationship was just visiting. He didn't have his phone,
Speaker 1: he was on a mountain shooting a video. He was like,
Speaker 1: a lot of their relationship wasn't there, and it didn't.
Speaker 1: And although it seemed like he did, like try to
Speaker 1: pull her out of the cyclone, a lot of the times,
Speaker 1: I just don't think. And he didn't like they fought
Speaker 1: all the time. He didn't like her parents. Their families
Speaker 1: were very different. She tried to mold into who she wanted,
Speaker 1: who he wanted her to be, like just all of that,
Speaker 1: and she used a lot of by being with him.
Speaker 1: Like I just said about Lindy West, it was proof
Speaker 1: that she is lovable, proof that as a fat woman,
Speaker 1: that she has something and that she wants to and
Speaker 1: that she has value. This is a Internet conversation, by
Speaker 1: the way, This is an Internet conversation, especially when people
Speaker 1: are like, oh, women only want the top ten percent
Speaker 1: of men, and only if you look a certain way
Speaker 1: can you get a can you find a partner? That's
Speaker 1: an Internet conversation. Cause if you live in real life,
Speaker 1: you see people and not every not everybody's beautiful. You
Speaker 1: see people pair it up all the fucking time. Sometimes
Speaker 1: one is beautiful and the other one is it. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's two ugly people together whatever. Sometimes it's two amazingly
Speaker 1: hot people. I was in a Walmart. I saw two
Speaker 1: tall ass people. They were both over six feet tall,
Speaker 1: just a holding hands and shit. I had to look up,
Speaker 1: but I saw 'em. I was like, Damn, y'all found
Speaker 1: each other, didn't you, Probably cause you could see over
Speaker 1: the heads of everybody else. How could you not see
Speaker 1: each other in the crowd There's only one person as
Speaker 1: tall as you, and they just holding hands and shit.
Speaker 1: People find each other all the time. You can convince
Speaker 1: yourself that nobody will want you, but it's just not
Speaker 1: fucking true. Who what's going on is people you don't
Speaker 1: want want you. That's what's going on. But like if
Speaker 1: fat people get chills all the time, fat people get
Speaker 1: fucked all the time. I'm here to tell you that,
Speaker 1: all right. I'm here to tell you I spent my
Speaker 1: twenties fucking my way through this world. All right. I've
Speaker 1: had sex with every with a member of every single
Speaker 1: armed forces. I have like bingo card. Fat people get fucked,
Speaker 1: Fat people get in relationships, Fat people get loved all
Speaker 1: the time. This narrative that they don't is something that
Speaker 1: is for movies and internet discourse and stuff. Check out
Speaker 1: the fat people in your life. The bitch has got
Speaker 1: a man. I was watching My six hundred pound Life.
Speaker 1: I remember that girl. Her name was Lisa, and she
Speaker 1: had like maggots coming out of her leg and she
Speaker 1: had a man. Okay, almost all the people on six
Speaker 1: six hundred pound life got somebody. Because it's not a
Speaker 1: myth that fat that people won't fuck with fat people.
Speaker 1: They do all the time, but it's a very specific
Speaker 1: like it's so much hard to be a white woman
Speaker 1: to be fat. I've just given it to you. I
Speaker 1: just assume like white women are expected to be skinny.
Speaker 1: White women are expected to look like preteens with big boobs, right,
Speaker 1: their bodies are supposed to be are well not. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, we in an ass world right now. But
Speaker 1: for the most part, for most of known history, white
Speaker 1: women are expected to be up and down. No hips,
Speaker 1: no hips, no ass, big ass titties, right. That is,
Speaker 1: that was the ideal shape. And as a Black woman,
Speaker 1: that was never the ideal shape for me. Not Growing up,
Speaker 1: people expect you have junk in the trunk, They expect
Speaker 1: you to have all this. Don't worry. Black people hate
Speaker 1: fat people too. Don't worry. They hate the fat people too.
Speaker 1: They hate fats engaged just like everybody else. But people
Speaker 1: to you to have curves and if you had a
Speaker 1: little billy, wasn't deal like you could be considered obeste
Speaker 1: if you were in certain situations and just fine in others,
Speaker 1: and fat people get chills all the time. I do
Speaker 1: not understand where people can't figure that out. But yeah, Lena,
Speaker 1: that's how Lena. She needed Jack in that way, and
Speaker 1: their breakup took a really long time. She talks about cheating.
Speaker 1: The next person she dates is Nick, and he is crazy,
Speaker 1: but she cheated with him the night before they broke
Speaker 1: up because she just knew they were gonna wreak up.
Speaker 1: Lena said something that I think is so like insightful.
Speaker 1: She said that she treated love like one of those
Speaker 1: car contests where you go to a dealership and you
Speaker 1: and whoever keeps their hand on the car the longest wins.
Speaker 1: Relationships and love were humiliation rituals for her. You could
Speaker 1: not be in a relationship if you weren't humiliated, if
Speaker 1: it didn't hurt a little bit, if it didn't or
Speaker 1: hurt a lot, if it didn't cause you strain, if
Speaker 1: you didn't have to piss on yourself while while having
Speaker 1: your hand on a car. You know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 1: that's what love was. And two great loves of her
Speaker 1: life were Jack and Jenny, And that meant you had
Speaker 1: to take whatever they gave you. Yep, they're drinking and
Speaker 1: they had a seizure in the middle of the night
Speaker 1: in which they hit you, and that's even more reason
Speaker 1: to stay with them. Okay, they are homeless and you're
Speaker 1: not quite sure that you know that they're homeless, and
Speaker 1: they stay with your parents while you go live somewhere else.
Speaker 1: By the way, again, she treats her parents as emotional
Speaker 1: support blankets, and also they can just take anything. That
Speaker 1: tiny furniture movie her mother. Lena found her mother's journals,
Speaker 1: read them and wrote a movie. And I'm sure her
Speaker 1: mother wasn't excited about that, but she was in the
Speaker 1: movie and it was in their house, so I guess
Speaker 1: it was fine. But like, that's how that's what love
Speaker 1: means to Lena. I don't know if it's still, but
Speaker 1: that she described it that way, I was like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: a lot of people think love just means how like
Speaker 1: how much humiliation can you take? Because the more you take,
Speaker 1: the more you earn this relationship. If you can just
Speaker 1: keep your hand right here, like I said, I I
Speaker 1: think Jack comes up pretty well in this, I don't
Speaker 1: think and most of their friends went on his side.
Speaker 1: I don't think that Lena wrote him very badly, except
Speaker 1: for the part where, uh, it just became obvious that
Speaker 1: if he wasn't cheating with Lord, he was spending he
Speaker 1: was having an emotional affair with law Law Lord, and
Speaker 1: that's all the pool stuff people pulled down. I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if that matters, you know, I want
Speaker 1: to talk real quick about Adam Drive when we talk
Speaker 1: about love stuff, Adam Driver. Lena is attracted to the
Speaker 1: Adam Driver because he reminds her of all the chaos
Speaker 1: demons that she's in love with. He is erratical on set.
Speaker 1: They try to he's he's a weird actor, that is
Speaker 1: what he is. Okay, he often is, you know, doing
Speaker 1: method acting where he's just like staying in character. One
Speaker 1: time they tried to sing Happy Birds' Birthday to him,
Speaker 1: and he just ran away, like out the back door.
Speaker 1: And then his agent called and was like, don't ever
Speaker 1: try to surprise him like shit like that, you know,
Speaker 1: Like she just like he would scream at her when
Speaker 1: she didn't know her lines and throw chairs and like,
Speaker 1: outside of set, he was very nice to her. They
Speaker 1: would spend time together. They had a lot of sex
Speaker 1: scenes together, obviously, so there's just a certain amount of
Speaker 1: things that or a certain level of comfort that they
Speaker 1: would have together, that they would have to have together,
Speaker 1: this before intimacy coordinators on set. So I mean she's
Speaker 1: got a band aid on her butt hole and like
Speaker 1: a little thing on her cover and her clip and
Speaker 1: off we go. You know. She says that at some
Speaker 1: point Adam called her and said he wanted to come up,
Speaker 1: and if he came up, he wasn't leaving. There was
Speaker 1: like some sexual attention between them, and when he came
Speaker 1: to her house and rang the bell, she didn't answer,
Speaker 1: Like she was like, I don't know. He had a
Speaker 1: girlfriend at the time, and then like a month later
Speaker 1: he was like, I'm marrying her. I'm not good with
Speaker 1: my girl. Away from my girl, yadayada, YadA, And then
Speaker 1: they really avoided each other for a long time. The
Speaker 1: last time they had a real good talk was at
Speaker 1: the end of Girls, where she was like, if I'm
Speaker 1: not what I need to be or I'm sorry for
Speaker 1: any situation, he was like, it was just as they
Speaker 1: should be. You know, two weird talking to each other
Speaker 1: to Artsy. You know, I call this the the uh.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, Judy Bloom, Judy funny Doug Funny
Speaker 1: from Doug's sister. You know, she's got a bereton and
Speaker 1: sunglasses and everything's art and everything's too cool, and she's
Speaker 1: just like, like life is art, right, And so that's
Speaker 1: how they talk to each other. That's how her and
Speaker 1: Adam talk to each other. But a lot of people
Speaker 1: are like, I don't want to hear Adam's side. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I like y'all act like people won't fuck
Speaker 1: Lena like they will as Evan is by this fucking book.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna talk about the sickness stuff and then
Speaker 1: I'll talk about the work stuff and then we'll be done.
Speaker 1: So Lena, through a lot of this book is about,
Speaker 1: especially the second half is about her sickness journey. She
Speaker 1: started off with having indo indometriosis, super painful. She was
Speaker 1: having she was having uh ovarian cysts. She had a
Speaker 1: very large one, and a doctor that the work made
Speaker 1: her go to to examine her popped it while she
Speaker 1: while they were examining her. And during this time, like
Speaker 1: I mean, she would just go to doctor over and
Speaker 1: over again, and a lot of people didn't know what
Speaker 1: was going on, and so when they she was she
Speaker 1: sent to the hospital because of that popped overian cyst
Speaker 1: and like she couldn't work and the HBO's insurance wouldn't
Speaker 1: pay for the delays in in in production unless they
Speaker 1: went to this other doctor. And this other doctor was
Speaker 1: rough and mean stuff. At this point, she is having
Speaker 1: like flashbacks to her rape. She's being flashed back to
Speaker 1: her molestation as a child. She is like high on shit,
Speaker 1: and because they're giving her a delauded whatever that is,
Speaker 1: it's real. It's heroin, but apparently it's like medical grade heroin,
Speaker 1: and like she's just in this journey like every time
Speaker 1: she goes to the doctor there like this is what's wrong.
Speaker 1: That's not what's wrong. This is what's wrong. That's not
Speaker 1: what's wrong. And so she gets the hysterectomy. She didn't.
Speaker 1: She realizes she has the Els Dinners. Let me actually
Speaker 1: look this up. It's EDS, but let me look this
Speaker 1: up Elos dan los Ler's Dan Loos system, and it's
Speaker 1: it's a group of thirteen heritable connective tissue disorders caused
Speaker 1: by genetic mutations affecting collagen. So that's why it's like
Speaker 1: the joints and the connective tissues. It leads to hypermobility,
Speaker 1: so double joint stretchy skin and tissue fragility, and like
Speaker 1: it's a whole fucking road eve oddly from RuPaul's drag
Speaker 1: Race or the drag Queen ev Oddly. I don't want
Speaker 1: to say she's from there. She was live drag queen
Speaker 1: before there, and she's a drag queen after. Has this
Speaker 1: like it it can there is no cure for it,
Speaker 1: and it can be extremely painful. It can flare. It
Speaker 1: cannot like finding out that they'd be finding out like
Speaker 1: she had MS. Guys. I know a lot of people
Speaker 1: aren't familiar with DS, and I'm not that familiar. I
Speaker 1: just know it's super serious. But like I want you
Speaker 1: to imagine she got diagnosed with a MESS and that's
Speaker 1: the level of gravity it is. And then they're putting
Speaker 1: her on more and more pills. She's just like always
Speaker 1: going through it. She set herself on fire at some point,
Speaker 1: that's another thing about her exhausting with I think it
Speaker 1: was a candle. She set her titty and like half
Speaker 1: her chest on fire, and like had to get skin
Speaker 1: grafts and not like like how did that happen? Always
Speaker 1: then at some point she gets she had adopts a
Speaker 1: like a an old, patchy haired dog and just takes
Speaker 1: it everywhere with her. I will say this, I don't
Speaker 1: have a lot to talk about with the illness stuff,
Speaker 1: but I do think that was incredibly compelling read. And
Speaker 1: when I say she's exhausting, I don't just mean to
Speaker 1: the people around her. I think she's exhausted too. And
Speaker 1: that's why I was like explaining to he where early
Speaker 1: twenties were like, because I too was tired, and I
Speaker 1: also everybody around me was tired too. And if I
Speaker 1: could have stopped it, I would have, but I couldn't.
Speaker 1: I couldn't do it. How did I stop it? I
Speaker 1: kind of just you know, I had several suicide attempts.
Speaker 1: I that's when depression really fucking got me. Depression got
Speaker 1: its clausing me as soon as I left my home,
Speaker 1: my parents' home. Like I guess, I don't, I guys,
Speaker 1: I don't know how I did start really not focusing
Speaker 1: on myself. I started focusing on the things I could
Speaker 1: do for other people, and I'm like volunteering a lot.
Speaker 1: That's where I got the voluntarism I really believe in
Speaker 1: from I didn't have a lot of relationships. Okay, after
Speaker 1: I got into that relationship with the guy and then
Speaker 1: he's the only ones ever broken up in my entire life.
Speaker 1: He broke up with me and then two days two
Speaker 1: days later, got arrested for murder. That was the last wild,
Speaker 1: wild wild relationship I was in. I kind of was like, eh,
Speaker 1: I think I should stopped getting in relationships. And I did,
Speaker 1: and like, I started focusing on other people, and I
Speaker 1: started growing up financially, started making more money, and then
Speaker 1: also being like, oh I could do something, I could
Speaker 1: be something. And slowly but surely I started to get
Speaker 1: out of the cyclone. I don't like, there wasn't one
Speaker 1: thing I didn't like, take a magical pill on the
Speaker 1: cyclone went away. I like I was riding that bitch.
Speaker 1: I was Dorothy up in here. So but it just
Speaker 1: I just my parents are like, you grew up, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know if that's true. I think
Speaker 1: just over time, well maybe I did grow up, but
Speaker 1: just over time, like I just got further in from
Speaker 1: I'm not saying crazy shit didn't happen anymore. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying it wasn't my everyday life. You didn't every time
Speaker 1: you called me, I'd be like, where am I. I'm
Speaker 1: in the room with this guy that I just met
Speaker 1: on Black Planet and blah blahlah. That wasn't my thing anymore. Uh.
Speaker 1: And I was celibate for like maybe eight months or so.
Speaker 1: That really changed things. Did I have a sex edition No,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I just was I did not have an
Speaker 1: addiction to sex. I just was acting out through it.
Speaker 1: And I also did not value it. It just it
Speaker 1: just was a thing I wasn't like, you know how,
Speaker 1: Like in that movie Vanilla Sky where where Tom Cruise
Speaker 1: Cameron Diaz has got Tom Cruise in the car and
Speaker 1: I guess he slept with her and hasn't isn't like
Speaker 1: being nice to her, I don't know, ghosted her and
Speaker 1: she's like about to crash the car and like I
Speaker 1: think killed herself and like disfigure him, and she's like,
Speaker 1: sex is a promise your body makes. Like that never
Speaker 1: was me. I was just like it is or it isn't.
Speaker 1: But being celibate for about eight months really changed everything
Speaker 1: because I was like from a relationship to a relationship relationship, like, oh,
Speaker 1: this girl's gonna bust out my windows nicely, wither are
Speaker 1: one more charm and then and on to another one
Speaker 1: like that, But I want to be clear, like her
Speaker 1: chronic illnesses, Like if you were from the outside, you'd
Speaker 1: be like, why are you always sick? Why is it
Speaker 1: always something? Why are you always breaking your elbow? Why
Speaker 1: are you always like and now you're in rehab? Like
Speaker 1: it was a lot, and I'm as much as it
Speaker 1: was a lot for the people around her, it's it
Speaker 1: was a lot for Lena too, Like being chronically ill
Speaker 1: is not easy. And again, a lot of people think
Speaker 1: you're lying because every time they see you something's going on.
Speaker 1: I don't believe Lena was lying. I know some people
Speaker 1: think she's like the biggest liar in the world. I
Speaker 1: don't think so. I think she's met storytellers sometimes. So
Speaker 1: one of the before she got her uterus taken one
Speaker 1: of the taken before she agreed to have a hysterectomy
Speaker 1: and then got the doctors to give her one because
Speaker 1: they wouldn't give it to her. They they said one
Speaker 1: of the cures for endometriosis is to have a baby,
Speaker 1: And I was like what, And She's like that seem
Speaker 1: as good as reasons as anything. That's a good reason
Speaker 1: to have a baby. Y'all need to do more intentional
Speaker 1: my friends. So she started harvesting eggs so that she
Speaker 1: could possibly like freeze them and then have them do IVF,
Speaker 1: not freeze them, do IVF, And right fully, everybody around
Speaker 1: her was like, what the fuck, Like you can't even
Speaker 1: take care of yourself, You can't even get out of bed,
Speaker 1: you can't even But she's like, yeah, I gotta do this.
Speaker 1: Being a mother is super important to me. And I
Speaker 1: was like, that is so wild, And Lena would say
Speaker 1: that that's not Like. If someone told me that Lena
Speaker 1: Dunham was around here saying that being a mother was
Speaker 1: the most important thing she could do, I would be shocked.
Speaker 1: I would think it was Ai. I would think it
Speaker 1: was AI. And I don't understand. You know, all my
Speaker 1: kids are adopted. I don't necessarily think adoption. Some of
Speaker 1: the ways adoptions are handled are very ethical. But if
Speaker 1: she really really wanted to fucking baby, she can get
Speaker 1: a surrogate. If she really wanted, she could an egg donate.
Speaker 1: She's rich, she's rich at this point, she could really
Speaker 1: she could get a surrogate. She could adopt shed. She
Speaker 1: is the exact person who would be like adopting a
Speaker 1: baby from China, you know what I mean. Like, there's
Speaker 1: all kinds of things that could be happening and I'm
Speaker 1: not and but none of those things should be happening
Speaker 1: at the moment she's trying to do this IVF obviously,
Speaker 1: like most of the eggs didn't take, and most of
Speaker 1: the eggs were not viable, and the one that was
Speaker 1: had a genetic disorder that had genetic abnormalities that they
Speaker 1: were like, we don't feel comfortable I and so like
Speaker 1: it was like on a weekend, on like the fourth
Speaker 1: of July, the doctor called her and told her that,
Speaker 1: and that really crushed her dream. She doesn't have kids now.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if she still feels the same way,
Speaker 1: but I would be interested in her her telling us this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think the most compelling part of this memoir is
Speaker 1: the illness stuff. It's hard for me to describe it
Speaker 1: to you. It is ongoing, and I think that a
Speaker 1: lot of people would feel a lot of empathy for
Speaker 1: her in that moment and those many moments. Not the
Speaker 1: part but she let her titty on fire. Another part.
Speaker 1: All right, let's talk about work stuff, and let's get
Speaker 1: the fuck out of here. So one thing to note
Speaker 1: about Lena is that she was impossibly young when she
Speaker 1: got girls. She was like twenty three when she made
Speaker 1: Tiny Furniture. They she won at south By Southwest and
Speaker 1: a month later she had a show. A month later
Speaker 1: she already had a show. They had they had hooked
Speaker 1: her up. They were like, you gotta like, she can't
Speaker 1: run the show. So the like jug Apatow, Apatow was
Speaker 1: like really mentoring her. She was able. She was like
Speaker 1: going on the set of Bridesmaids and like they really
Speaker 1: felt like connected in their comedy, which I think their
Speaker 1: comedy does, like go together. She hooked up with her partner, Jenny,
Speaker 1: because the studio gave her a list of people to
Speaker 1: she needs to run this show with her, and she
Speaker 1: hooked up with Jenny. Jenny's about twenty years older than her.
Speaker 1: She's a vet in the industry, two kids, divorced, partner.
Speaker 1: She's like a grown up, grown up and Lena refers
Speaker 1: to her as a grown up the entire time. Okay,
Speaker 1: there is a powerodynamic between the two of them that
Speaker 1: is shifty, and I don't I wonder why people are
Speaker 1: not talking about this. They are quote unquote best friends
Speaker 1: and partners. I don't know that they were best I
Speaker 1: think she was Lena's best friend. I don't know if
Speaker 1: Lena was her best friend. But I don't blame this
Speaker 1: all on Lena, because because Jenny would talk to her
Speaker 1: like that, they spent so much time together. They would
Speaker 1: lay in bed together, they were enmeshed in a way
Speaker 1: that she kind of was with her parents. And like
Speaker 1: I said, the two great loves of her life were
Speaker 1: Jack and Jenny. I wanna say this, she never she
Speaker 1: had not teachers of playing Hannah, and I wonder if
Speaker 1: she realizes that if she'd stayed behind the scenes, if
Speaker 1: she was not playing Hannah, that Hannah, that she much
Speaker 1: of what happened to her would have never happened to
Speaker 1: her because she would not have been a recognizable person. Uh,
Speaker 1: she would not have been the face of girls, right,
Speaker 1: because maybe that character would be the face of girls,
Speaker 1: but she wouldn't be like she'd be doing interviews and
Speaker 1: people would she people would have to be like, well,
Speaker 1: this is Lena Dunham, right, it's so interesting. But they
Speaker 1: convinced her to play Hannah, and at the time she
Speaker 1: was skinny, a little skinnier, and it's mostly cause all
Speaker 1: the stuff she was going through, and also she was
Speaker 1: in La and everybody's skinny, Okay, you just it is
Speaker 1: what it is. And the network was like, this is
Speaker 1: not funny because Hannah isn't f Hannah's meant to be ugly.
Speaker 1: She's meant to be unfuckable, and she can't be that
Speaker 1: if she's skinny, because skinny, to a lot of people
Speaker 1: means beautiful. She can't be funny if she's skinny either,
Speaker 1: She's gonna have to be a little fat to be funny. Like,
Speaker 1: you know, the last the last skinny funny person woman
Speaker 1: we allowed was the Nanny. Okay, like that's the last time.
Speaker 1: So the network wants her to eat and she's like,
Speaker 1: I can't do Like, I just I can't just stuff myself.
Speaker 1: I can't do that. And Genny is like that, she
Speaker 1: says it's the first time that she was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: the show comes for anything else. Jenny was like, just eat,
Speaker 1: put it the food in your fucking mouth, because one,
Speaker 1: this show is a dream for Jenny too. Two like
Speaker 1: she would be saying things like, oh, you can't do that,
Speaker 1: and my kids aren't gonna eat or uh, you're gonna
Speaker 1: lose where you're gonna ruin the show and then we'll
Speaker 1: both be out of a job. Stuff like that. And
Speaker 1: that's what I mean about these power dynamic being off
Speaker 1: in that she could be manipulative with Lena, and Lena
Speaker 1: is naive as shit, Like later when Lena when they're
Speaker 1: done with Girls and they're starting production company and they're
Speaker 1: doing like, like, Lena didn't get a lot of money
Speaker 1: for the first four seasons her book came out. After that,
Speaker 1: she got a lot of money for the book, and
Speaker 1: then she got a shit to of money on her
Speaker 1: contract after that, and like she talks about being rich
Speaker 1: and what that means and how there's a lot of
Speaker 1: guilt in it, and her father would tell her, you've
Speaker 1: been guilty as you're five years old, what the fuck
Speaker 1: are you feeling guilty about. She would buy dinners and
Speaker 1: spend money, and she was overcharged and underserved everywhere. She
Speaker 1: was paying for her grandma's apartments towards the end, and
Speaker 1: Jack was like, you are not a rapper. You cannot
Speaker 1: spend money like this. But she felt guilty for the money,
Speaker 1: so she kept trying to give it away. People who
Speaker 1: knew her before she got famous would sell stories of
Speaker 1: her write stories about her like they were trying to
Speaker 1: get their writing creds up and will write stories about her,
Speaker 1: like people she thought were friends would be like, I
Speaker 1: had dinner with Lena Dunnam and she wasn't that interesting,
Speaker 1: like stuff like that. Family members with the man she
Speaker 1: be places, especially her mom and dad. Her mom and
Speaker 1: dad were just like, we'll give a fuck, We don't
Speaker 1: give a fuck. You still gotta do this. She still
Speaker 1: better come to this cousin's funeral, that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1: She uh, they would demand money from her, she just
Speaker 1: would do it. Not necessarily mom and parents with the money,
Speaker 1: but she would just do it. And she talks about
Speaker 1: how being famous kind of fucks you up a little bit,
Speaker 1: and in the beginning how she wanted to go to
Speaker 1: every red carpet everything she was, She wanted to go
Speaker 1: on every talk show. She wanted to be like, thank
Speaker 1: you for having Like she just wanted to be everywhere.
Speaker 1: She the being famous gave her fucking dopamine hits that
Speaker 1: you would get if you were doing cracks like it
Speaker 1: just it changes everything. But when they go back to
Speaker 1: do their negotiation, Genny wants to know what Lena got
Speaker 1: and she didn't know when they started with Lena Gott
Speaker 1: and she didn't know what the renegotiation, what they got,
Speaker 1: but she demanded to know now. And when she told her,
Speaker 1: she's like, it didn't even occur to me not to
Speaker 1: tell her. Because she's a very naive person and because
Speaker 1: she is centered on herself, she does not she can't
Speaker 1: read social situations. Genny tells her Jenny's quote was much lower.
Speaker 1: Jenny tells her that they need to negotiate and that
Speaker 1: they will negotiate as a team. They will get paid
Speaker 1: the same amount, and Lena agrees. And I'm just like Lena,
Speaker 1: you are when every scandal hits, You're the face of it.
Speaker 1: You're the face of girls. You're on screen with your
Speaker 1: tits out, you get. You are the lightning rod for everything,
Speaker 1: and a lot of it. You wrote, especially in the beginning,
Speaker 1: you wrote by yourself. But I'm not saying Genny did not.
Speaker 1: Jenny obviously is an important part too. Jenny was holding
Speaker 1: shit down when you were sick and when all like
Speaker 1: you know, when you gotta go to rehab, you gotta
Speaker 1: do this. We got. Genny was holding shit down, right,
Speaker 1: And I understand how she would be frustrated with you.
Speaker 1: And again, if you weren't the main if you weren't
Speaker 1: the main character on the fucking show, they could move
Speaker 1: forward production without you. You can write from a fucking
Speaker 1: hospital bed like a lot of the shit wouldn't have
Speaker 1: happened if you weren't the talent. But you are the talent.
Speaker 1: And so maybe Jenny doesn't get paid same around with you,
Speaker 1: is you? I mean, it'd be nice if she did,
Speaker 1: but maybe she doesn't. You. She doesn't have a best
Speaker 1: selling book where she is admitting to being sexually inappropriate
Speaker 1: with her with her brother at the time, who had
Speaker 1: a vagina. Yeah, she didn't have She didn't have those things.
Speaker 1: And that's why the quote was fucking different, because they
Speaker 1: could have got another showrunner with you, but they couldn't
Speaker 1: have replaced you. That's why anyway, But she doesn't. Lena
Speaker 1: talks to no one about this except for her agents.
Speaker 1: She didn't ask Judd about it. She didn't at this
Speaker 1: point she had met so many famous people, been involved
Speaker 1: so many fames. She didn't talk to Jack about it.
Speaker 1: She didn't talk to anybody about it and just did it.
Speaker 1: And her agents, she said six agents got on the
Speaker 1: phone with her and was and were like, Hey, you
Speaker 1: can't do this. You can't do this. It's it's one
Speaker 1: of the most foolish things you could ever do. And
Speaker 1: keep in mind that if you do it, you will
Speaker 1: not get more money. What will happen is they'll take
Speaker 1: more money from you and give it to Jenny to
Speaker 1: make an equal This is not you will lose in this,
Speaker 1: and she just was like, no, no, I have to
Speaker 1: Jenny's my best friend. I can't do anything about Jenny.
Speaker 1: This only happened with Jenny. And I'm like, is Jenny
Speaker 1: your best friend because I don't know. You're like, a
Speaker 1: best friend would do this, and I'm like, a best
Speaker 1: friend wouldn't ask me to do this. I might have
Speaker 1: been transparent with the pay. It just depends. I've been
Speaker 1: transparent with pay. I think that helps other people figure
Speaker 1: out what they need to argue for, but not with everybody.
Speaker 1: I'm transparent with people who need to know, people who
Speaker 1: I feel confident talking to about it, and people that
Speaker 1: it will be relevant to. I don't need to just
Speaker 1: tell people everybody what I make you know, and I
Speaker 1: do think it would be relevant to Ginny. So I
Speaker 1: I might have been transparent, but I would not do.
Speaker 1: I would be like, n No, I don't think that's appropriate.
Speaker 1: Or if it was hard for me to say that,
Speaker 1: I would say, let me talk to my agency what
Speaker 1: they say, and then I would say, oh, my agent
Speaker 1: say I can't do that. They say I can't My
Speaker 1: manager says I can't do that, Like that's that w
Speaker 1: that's not how it's done. And and and that they
Speaker 1: will drop me if I keep doing that. That's what
Speaker 1: I would say. My agent told me, My agents told
Speaker 1: me they will drop me if I try to do that,
Speaker 1: because it's just not what people do. And I believe that.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't believe everything and agent says, but
Speaker 1: I believe that. I believe she talked to Judge. He
Speaker 1: would have said, oh, that's tough, that's real tough. But no,
Speaker 1: don't do that. But she did it. And yeah, I
Speaker 1: also want to talk about the rape controversy. Lena does this.
Speaker 1: It's very vague about this, and Liz says that she
Speaker 1: has made amends to this person and that has made
Speaker 1: amends to the family and has been even been working
Speaker 1: with them afterwards. So I didn't know that at all,
Speaker 1: because again I don't following have done them She's made
Speaker 1: public apologies, She's made private apologies and amens. But Aurora,
Speaker 1: paragu paragu. She's the guy, the black guy in Romeo
Speaker 1: and Juliet, right with Clare Danes and Leo. That's who
Speaker 1: he is. He was in OZ again. Guy's if I
Speaker 1: ever started rewatching OZ. You gotta come. You gotta call
Speaker 1: nine one one. You have to. I'm having I met
Speaker 1: my rock bottom. I need a safety check. It's what
Speaker 1: I mean. He was in loss like he lost. Excuse me.
Speaker 1: He he's a like is his name Harold, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but he was in he's like a like a veteran actor. Okay.
Speaker 1: She described being sexually assaulted by a member of the
Speaker 1: Girl's writing room, a man that was on. I don't
Speaker 1: know his name either. I don't need to know his
Speaker 1: name for this. I don't know many of their names
Speaker 1: for this. She went to the police station. She filed
Speaker 1: a report. Lena has just finished her hysterectomy. She's just
Speaker 1: she says, based she doesn't even remember this. She says,
Speaker 1: based on the dates that are online of when the
Speaker 1: statement came out, she had just gotten home with her hysterectomy.
Speaker 1: She was laid the fuck out on medical grade heroine.
Speaker 1: She also had a kalanapin dependency. She is taking so
Speaker 1: many pills, so many pills, and not in like, uh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna snort these pills to feel better away, but
Speaker 1: like she she's just like, yeah, I have to take
Speaker 1: a shit little kalanapin. My doctor told me to do it.
Speaker 1: What do you mean I have to like take these
Speaker 1: very very powerful pain meds. My doctor told me to
Speaker 1: do it. It wasn't like she wasn't sick, but she was
Speaker 1: just out of it. And she says, So what happened
Speaker 1: is Jenny and Lena put out a statement that said,
Speaker 1: do some insight information. They believe they believe sexual assault survivors,
Speaker 1: but they they believe this is one of the three
Speaker 1: percent that falsely accused her falsely if she they believe
Speaker 1: it was a misunderstanding, and they they don't think that
Speaker 1: they're that they they support their friend, and they don't
Speaker 1: think that this happened something like that, but not as
Speaker 1: not as plain out. That's what it meant. Again, if
Speaker 1: somebody you know and here about was accused of sexual assault,
Speaker 1: the only thing you should say is I'm surprised by this.
Speaker 1: This is not how I know them to be that
Speaker 1: said I was not there, and I will be making
Speaker 1: no further comments because of that. That's what you should
Speaker 1: be saying. Okay, because you weren't fucking there, You don't know,
Speaker 1: and somebody could be one way with you in a
Speaker 1: whole fucking different way with someone else. You were not
Speaker 1: there unless you were standing there in the room where
Speaker 1: it happened, and can say I was there the entire time.
Speaker 1: You don't fucking know. Stay out of it. Nobody's asking
Speaker 1: you to litigate this. This isn't for you to litigate. Okay,
Speaker 1: you don't know, but that's how they said. They were like, mmmm,
Speaker 1: I think she's I think she's confused. Lina says that
Speaker 1: she doesn't even know. All she knows is there's a
Speaker 1: lot of texting from Jenny, who was in LA and
Speaker 1: they weren't really talking at this point. Genny was very avoidant.
Speaker 1: She was very on and off. She was very like
Speaker 1: pull you in, you're nice, sister, and then like you
Speaker 1: get to set a couple of days later and she's like,
Speaker 1: I cannot deal with you right now, and like would
Speaker 1: not talk to you. She would look at you like
Speaker 1: you you'd be cool one minute and and and then
Speaker 1: you'd take a plane ride together and she would refuse
Speaker 1: to look at you, like even as she was like that.
Speaker 1: And Lena is anxious, she has anxiety disorder. She is
Speaker 1: an anxious, anxious person, and so she's try constantly trying
Speaker 1: to win Genny back, and Jenny would come close and
Speaker 1: then move away, come close, and they move away. So
Speaker 1: a this point they're not even really talking, and so
Speaker 1: they are texting about this, and she Lina's like, I
Speaker 1: wasn't even I don't even know how the statement was made.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just know that, like it came
Speaker 1: to conclusion that a statement had to be made, and
Speaker 1: then it went off. And she doesn't say she didn't
Speaker 1: know what was in there. She does say that she
Speaker 1: was not in her right mind and her mother tried
Speaker 1: to take her phone from her, and it was like,
Speaker 1: not today. You don't need to be doing this today.
Speaker 1: There's no need for you to make a statement, and
Speaker 1: certainly not today. And I don't know how Lena got
Speaker 1: the phone back. She was bedridden, just run away from her.
Speaker 1: She can't chase you, just like that lady in the walmart.
Speaker 1: She can't. I would have just taken her phone. I
Speaker 1: would have taken her phone because I wouldn't want her
Speaker 1: to be doing workshit while she was doing it. I
Speaker 1: would have taken her phone. I would have taken her phone.
Speaker 1: I would have put an auto responder saying Lena is
Speaker 1: recovering from major surgery and we'll get back to you
Speaker 1: at another as soon as she can, and that's it.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. But somehow Lena in and out gives the okay,
Speaker 1: and this goes out and people hate her. See here's
Speaker 1: the thing. It wouldn't just like conserved people that hated Lena.
Speaker 1: It was also like feminist feminist heated her too, like
Speaker 1: when she did like a photo shooter, like I can't
Speaker 1: believe this is retouch I'll put it. We'll give like
Speaker 1: a certain amount of money if they can bring us
Speaker 1: the untouched, unretouched photos. I remember shit like this, Like
Speaker 1: everyone hated her. People were like, she gives feminists a
Speaker 1: bad name, she gives millennials a bad name, she gives
Speaker 1: women who live in Brooklyn a bad name. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: why would you do this? Why didn't you do this?
Speaker 1: Shed n She you know, they exploded people and she
Speaker 1: said people started texting her and she said. Normally when
Speaker 1: she had scandals, people would not even mention it or
Speaker 1: they like shy away from it. But people were like,
Speaker 1: why would you straight up sitting her text mege, why
Speaker 1: would you do this? Like friends and family and things
Speaker 1: like that. She ended up retracting in she apologized and everything,
Speaker 1: but there's a point where she's like I didn't, I didn't.
Speaker 1: I don't wanna get into it or something like that.
Speaker 1: Uh now and I don't wanna get into it then
Speaker 1: like something and I'm like, no, get into it. She's
Speaker 1: very vague about she doesn't describe a situation. I had
Speaker 1: to google it and be like, what the fuck is
Speaker 1: she talking about? Cause she's talking about the big bad thing.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I remember this, so I wanna
Speaker 1: be clear, Like Lena Dunham is not apologizing for anything.
Speaker 1: She does regret things, but she's not apologizing, like she's
Speaker 1: not apologizing that thing or sibling. She does talk about
Speaker 1: regretting and she did make apologies for this thing. Uh.
Speaker 1: She's not like getting deep into it though, And I
Speaker 1: know Liza told me that like she liked that because
Speaker 1: she doesn't believe that Lena Dunham can really apologize and
Speaker 1: mean it okay, I think that's fair. But what struck
Speaker 1: me is that she's doing a third person. She's the
Speaker 1: way she is talking about the events that happening here,
Speaker 1: from like begging that alcoholic sees your guide to fuck
Speaker 1: her in ice you when her when her just before
Speaker 1: her hysterectomy was taken out. I don't know why. I
Speaker 1: was like, imagine being a doctor that comes in like
Speaker 1: a couple of hours later and I was like, why is
Speaker 1: this full of stevement? That's not how it works, for instance,
Speaker 1: But that was the first I was like, mmm, that
Speaker 1: nurse was like, damn, there's a lot of suit what
Speaker 1: That's not how bodies work. But like stuff like that,
Speaker 1: when she talks about it, she talks about like she's
Speaker 1: an outside party telling the story of this to somebody else.
Speaker 1: That's the intellectual intellectually part that I'm talking intellectualizing part
Speaker 1: I'm talking about is that she is not talking about
Speaker 1: most of the time what it feels to be in this.
Speaker 1: She is like telling us what happened, and that that's good.
Speaker 1: I did enjoy that part, but I just thought it
Speaker 1: was interesting that she could have been She could have
Speaker 1: been doing the biography of somebody else. She really could
Speaker 1: have been with the way she talked about this, she
Speaker 1: said I could try to explain, but basically like that
Speaker 1: wouldn't help it. I'm like, no, no, try to explain.
Speaker 1: She actually she said she didn't kill her, She didn't
Speaker 1: have suicide attempt, but she tried to stop living. She stopped.
Speaker 1: It was more passive like that. She was deep in
Speaker 1: the pills, she was not eating, she didn't care about
Speaker 1: anything like it was, you know a lot of his
Speaker 1: other stuff. She doesn't understand why there was like outcry,
Speaker 1: but she understands this Genny and her breakup. So Jenny
Speaker 1: flies to her after because they had a PR crisis afterwards,
Speaker 1: and she's like, they're like on speaker phone, Genny's crying.
Speaker 1: I'm like, Genny, why did you do this? Lena says
Speaker 1: she did it because she was fucking out of it
Speaker 1: on medical grade heroin? Why did you do this? Were
Speaker 1: you also in medical grade? Heroine? Why did y'all think
Speaker 1: you had to do this? Did something? Did the suits
Speaker 1: at HBO? I don't think the suits at HBO told
Speaker 1: you to do that shit. I think they were like,
Speaker 1: shut up, I don't I don't think so, Like I
Speaker 1: don't know, man, I really don't fucking know. And I
Speaker 1: remember being on the internet on this day and like
Speaker 1: I said, it was like people were like what everybody
Speaker 1: was screaming? Yeah, like hum but l l she was crying.
Speaker 1: They never talked about this. They've never talked about this,
Speaker 1: the two of them, Lena and her. They end up
Speaker 1: breaking up with the illness stuff and being away. Oh
Speaker 1: another thing, I I want you to know. I was
Speaker 1: listening to this on All Your Book and I fell
Speaker 1: asleep and I woke up at the part where Lena
Speaker 1: is graphically talking about per sexual assault, that doctor bursting
Speaker 1: her over or very insist and like talking about her
Speaker 1: childhood molestation, which is also sexual but still you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, describing it all graphically, That's where I
Speaker 1: woke up and I was like, where the fuck am I?
Speaker 1: What's going on? Oh? I just take a break for
Speaker 1: a day after that. Who was this saying? Oh? So
Speaker 1: she's very ill and she's just like not on set.
Speaker 1: She's they they have a new show, Camping, which I
Speaker 1: didn't Again, I don't follow her like that, and she's
Speaker 1: doing her a lot of writing away and things aren't working.
Speaker 1: Camping only went for one season, like she just and
Speaker 1: her and Jenny are not communicative. Oh what was I saying?
Speaker 1: I was gonna see something else that that uh happened
Speaker 1: with you? I've forgotten, Oh I'll remember it again. But
Speaker 1: like when that book deal came out and like a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff got leaked about how much she got paid,
Speaker 1: Jenny wasn't talking to her for a while, Like it
Speaker 1: was it was a lot of that, but they kind
Speaker 1: of like drift apart, and like a lot of times
Speaker 1: Jenny would be texting really mean shit. It was like
Speaker 1: a relationship, like Lena was kind of begging her to
Speaker 1: love her, to take her back. Oh, I remember what
Speaker 1: I was gonna say. When Lena had that realization and
Speaker 1: had all these connections and basically was high out of
Speaker 1: her fucking mind on the pain pills, she called Jenny
Speaker 1: and was screaming this stuff at her, this very traumatic
Speaker 1: stuff that I woke up from, like being like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, where am I? She called Jenny, was screaming
Speaker 1: the stuff at her and basically was saying, no one
Speaker 1: protected me then, and no one's protected me now. I
Speaker 1: do believe people weren't protecting her. She was a product
Speaker 1: and HBO would just be like, we need you to
Speaker 1: confirm with this doctor. HBO will be like you, we're
Speaker 1: gonna put you on a jet, and but you so
Speaker 1: you can join. So you must go to this Wars
Speaker 1: show and then you have to be at Tiffany's to
Speaker 1: give them back your to give them back your jewels,
Speaker 1: and then we'll put you on a jet to go
Speaker 1: to the funeral. No, you do have to show up
Speaker 1: for that. No, you can't be gone for six weeks.
Speaker 1: Like I do believe there was a lot of pressure
Speaker 1: from the and they were not and they sent her
Speaker 1: to that doctor and he was rude and crazy, and
Speaker 1: then he did that to her, uh that sort of
Speaker 1: like she wasn't being protected. And her father did say
Speaker 1: to her, he was like, you are the golden goose,
Speaker 1: and remember that they treat the golden goose. Well, they're
Speaker 1: the like a beloved pet. But they don't want the goose.
Speaker 1: They want the eggs. They want the gold eggs. And
Speaker 1: then when you are not, when you're not laying eggs anymore, you'll,
Speaker 1: you know, you'll go off to the butcher and they'll
Speaker 1: eat you for dinner. And he's fucking right about that.
Speaker 1: Like they were like Lina was Lina was exhausting. Lina
Speaker 1: was a problem, and Lina was a problem to be solved,
Speaker 1: and a lot of times they solved it by being like,
Speaker 1: here do this. Here, go to this horrible doctor. Here,
Speaker 1: what do you mean your grandma died? Who cares about that? Here?
Speaker 1: You need to work with your broken elbow. You will
Speaker 1: just put the elbow swollen up and shit it. She
Speaker 1: broke the elbow falling. Uh. They were doing the scene
Speaker 1: and during like the with Adam, and during like the
Speaker 1: you know Adam hat started like I don't know if
Speaker 1: Adam had started Star Wars, but he probably was in
Speaker 1: like pre production or something like that for it, or
Speaker 1: like he knew who's getting the part, but he had.
Speaker 1: He was playing lightsabers with curtain rots with a little
Speaker 1: boy and she moved tried to get out of their
Speaker 1: way and fell and they were like, yeah, you're gonna
Speaker 1: put it. First of all, they they they needed to
Speaker 1: like do exams to see if she broke it, like
Speaker 1: and instead of waiting for it the next day, that
Speaker 1: was the one more day they wouldn't be able to shoot.
Speaker 1: So they're like, no, no, no, come back to set.
Speaker 1: And if they say tomorrow's broken, and it's broken, and
Speaker 1: they just put it in a sling. And they just
Speaker 1: were like, well, take it off while you're filming, and
Speaker 1: then you put it in a sling when you when
Speaker 1: we're not like that's the way they treated her. She
Speaker 1: was the golden goose, but she was only valuable because
Speaker 1: she was laying eggs and she wasn't protected. But this
Speaker 1: is not a thing you call up your business partner.
Speaker 1: Even sometimes you guys call each other best friends, this
Speaker 1: is not a thing that you call up your business
Speaker 1: partner and say out of the blue, that is wild.
Speaker 1: I told you, guys, I worked with a woman when
Speaker 1: I lived in New York who had been sexually assaulted,
Speaker 1: and she would bring it up all the time. Anytime
Speaker 1: you were talking to her about something that she needed
Speaker 1: to take care of aability before, she would bring it
Speaker 1: up and she would just say, like I I swear
Speaker 1: to god. It would be stuff like hey, you gotta
Speaker 1: stop using all the paper and a printer and not
Speaker 1: putting more paper in it because the next person has
Speaker 1: to do all this stuff. And she would just be like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. You know that I was sexually assaulted and
Speaker 1: apparently it happened many years ago, but whatever she it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter when it happened. And while I think people
Speaker 1: have a right to talk about the things, like, first
Speaker 1: of all, I wasn't the right person to talk about it,
Speaker 1: and you have no idea about whether I've been sexually assaulted,
Speaker 1: and you are telling me details and using that in
Speaker 1: an office setting, and like what that does to me
Speaker 1: to hear that? Who didn't ask for it? And I'm
Speaker 1: not the appropriate source. It's not like it's my job
Speaker 1: to hear you recount this sexual assault over and over again.
Speaker 1: And like I felt for her, but I was also like,
Speaker 1: you are you can't do this to me over and
Speaker 1: over and over again. You can't do this to me,
Speaker 1: And that's what Jenny was like, you need to talk
Speaker 1: to your mother or a therapist, but I am not
Speaker 1: going to I am not like the person. I cannot
Speaker 1: do this. And I think Jenny was right. Like Lena
Speaker 1: also talked about being high as fuck on the pain
Speaker 1: meds and like texting people she never talk with them.
Speaker 1: Was like, hi, bro, what like just like she shouldn't
Speaker 1: have had her fucking phone is what she shouldn't have had.
Speaker 1: I would have taken her phone and ran I swear
Speaker 1: to God, she can't chase me. She can be mad,
Speaker 1: but she can't chase me. And so like I just
Speaker 1: feel I just feel like I'm gonna say this. I
Speaker 1: just feel like like Jinny definitely has some Genny has
Speaker 1: some stories of her own right, and I know that
Speaker 1: she's walking around telling everybody about this. She's so much older,
Speaker 1: like I have to babysit this kid. I don't think
Speaker 1: they are best friends. I think she thought of Lena
Speaker 1: as like sort of a pet, you know, maybe a
Speaker 1: pet golden goose, whatever, and she would hear things, Lena
Speaker 1: would hear things that that Ginny had said. Suddenly the
Speaker 1: parties that they that they would playing together, Lena wasn't
Speaker 1: invited to. And this has happened to many friend at
Speaker 1: the time, mostly because people feel really people feel away
Speaker 1: when you get famous, when you get rich, they feel away,
Speaker 1: whether they it's conscious or not. It's a lot about
Speaker 1: like why does she deserve that and not me? And
Speaker 1: maybe even though not me part is not is not conscious,
Speaker 1: but it's more like why did she what did she
Speaker 1: do to deserve this? And that's not a reason why
Speaker 1: people don't like Lena Dunham they think shit fell in
Speaker 1: her lap. The thing is, Lena is an excellent writer.
Speaker 1: She is very insightful again about herself. She's she's funny too.
Speaker 1: There's a couple of times she's pretty funny, but that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that like and I think a lot of
Speaker 1: people think, oh, she was just given this because she's
Speaker 1: got rich family in them. Not really, so Genny and
Speaker 1: like they aren't talking. Genny's sending like Superman text. I
Speaker 1: think Lina is too, and Genny wants to talk, and
Speaker 1: Lina's like, I will talk to you in a therapist's office,
Speaker 1: and they do, and I immediately just Genny's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're done. It's not like they worked on anything. And
Speaker 1: Genny just asked that if you, I know you're gonna
Speaker 1: write about this, If you're in relation to Lena Dunham,
Speaker 1: a person like Lena Dunham, they are gonna write about you.
Speaker 1: They are gonna write about you like me. If you're
Speaker 1: in relationship with me, I am gonna talk about you
Speaker 1: on this podcast, and I am gonna write about you.
Speaker 1: It's just how it is. And I think people are
Speaker 1: allowed to write about their experiences. And if you were
Speaker 1: a part of the experience. Okay, they're wanna write about you.
Speaker 1: There are a few exceptions, obviously, there are a few
Speaker 1: ethical exceptions, which Lena was the Lena would not talk
Speaker 1: about her kids in her relationship with her kids. She
Speaker 1: said that she tried to write this book several times.
Speaker 1: I don't even mention Jenny. I was like, ah, that
Speaker 1: makes sense. Yeah, And like the rest of the book
Speaker 1: is very like like I said, things do change for
Speaker 1: her in certain ways. She doesn't, you know what. Maybe
Speaker 1: I'll like give her a little slack on that cause
Speaker 1: I just tried to explain to you how I got
Speaker 1: out of my cyclone, and I just couldn't. I just couldn't.
Speaker 1: She Lena just recounts the events that happened. And I
Speaker 1: don't know if she gave us a I'm all better thing.
Speaker 1: I think she's still dealing with chronic illness. Uh, she's
Speaker 1: de still dealing with body stuff. She still uh, she's married. Now.
Speaker 1: I saw like pictures of them. They look like two Uh,
Speaker 1: they look like they like two people you meet at
Speaker 1: a comic con convention. And they smell like a very
Speaker 1: spicy smell that you wouldn't like be able to identify it.
Speaker 1: I didn't say they smell like weed. I didn't s
Speaker 1: say they smell like petuli. It would be like a
Speaker 1: spicy smell. Though they'd be all over each other. Okay,
Speaker 1: but like, and I don't like her super dark hair
Speaker 1: right now. I don't like that, but uh that's part
Speaker 1: of what. But yeah, they they seem fine. She seems happy.
Speaker 1: I'm happy for her. I don't know. You know how
Speaker 1: we got like three we got like three documentaries from
Speaker 1: we got three documentaries from uh D me Levado, and
Speaker 1: they were all like, and everything's fine, and then she
Speaker 1: would come back and be like, ha ha, it wasn't fine.
Speaker 1: I was high when I said that, I don't know
Speaker 1: if we're gonna come back to Lena, And she's like
Speaker 1: and oh, they did talk a lot about her rehab stay.
Speaker 1: I didn't it was fine. I didn't find it super
Speaker 1: interesting and her kind of even there a meshment with
Speaker 1: one of the younger patients. Yeah, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know if Lena will come back with a
Speaker 1: book and be like, actually, I was in this relationship.
Speaker 1: My husband was a status and I was being and
Speaker 1: I was used to being treated terribly and he also
Speaker 1: had a crack cocaine addiction. And I didn't even notice
Speaker 1: at first. I always knew he had a little glass
Speaker 1: pipe with him, but what is that? You know? Like
Speaker 1: his lips were amazing. I could draw them like, I
Speaker 1: don't know if that's what she's gonna come back with,
Speaker 1: but maybe who knows. Anyway, I've i've I've spoken over
Speaker 1: two hours about this and that goes to show you
Speaker 1: how interested I was in this book, how many times
Speaker 1: I could relate, how many times I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's interesting. I didn't know that I was laughing earlier
Speaker 1: about how often I was like, that's interesting. This is
Speaker 1: like that. I kept using that word to talk about
Speaker 1: this book. And I'm gonna use it again. It's a
Speaker 1: very interesting book and I recommend it. And yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: see you guys on the next one.