WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.080 --> 00:00:05.839 Well, well, well, welcome back, besties, Welcome to Monday. I 2 00:00:05.839 --> 00:00:07.639 hope you guys had a great weekend. I missed you 3 00:00:07.719 --> 00:00:11.599 so much. I hope everything is going amazing in your world. 4 00:00:13.480 --> 00:00:16.000 If you're in Phoenix this weekend, I have shows the 5 00:00:16.079 --> 00:00:19.960 seventeenth or the eighteenth and nineteenth at the Stand Up Live, 6 00:00:20.239 --> 00:00:22.480 So please come see me because I'm doing a new 7 00:00:22.480 --> 00:00:23.839 hour and I'm having a lot of fun with it. 8 00:00:23.879 --> 00:00:26.320 I've been running around New York City and I think 9 00:00:26.359 --> 00:00:28.519 these jokes are gonna be some of the best yet. 10 00:00:28.800 --> 00:00:31.120 Are they a little raw? Yeah? Is my heart still 11 00:00:31.160 --> 00:00:31.800 kind of on fire? 12 00:00:31.960 --> 00:00:32.240 Yeah? 13 00:00:32.280 --> 00:00:35.920 But you know what, that's what makes the best comedy. Baby, 14 00:00:36.640 --> 00:00:39.479 So come see me at Stand Up Live in Phoenix 15 00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:44.679 on the eighteenth and nineteenth. See you there, besties. Also, 16 00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:48.520 real quick, if you guys are not subscribed to my Patreon, 17 00:00:48.679 --> 00:00:55.359 come subscribe to the patreon because the tea over there 18 00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:57.880 is piping and I'm gonna catch you guys up on 19 00:00:57.920 --> 00:00:59.679 my week over on the Patreon because we had a 20 00:00:59.679 --> 00:01:02.479 really great episode this week with my friend Emma Willman, 21 00:01:02.520 --> 00:01:04.480 and I want to hop right into that, so please 22 00:01:05.079 --> 00:01:09.959 enjoy the episode Manifesting Manifesting, and we're manifesting. That's what 23 00:01:09.959 --> 00:01:11.840 we're doing this year. What are you manifesting this year? 24 00:01:12.239 --> 00:01:16.920 You know, I haven't had a clearer like manifestation picture 25 00:01:16.920 --> 00:01:18.480 in a while, and I need to get one. But 26 00:01:18.519 --> 00:01:21.000 I have a fear about manifesting. Okay, I'd be curious 27 00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:22.040 if you relate to this at all. 28 00:01:22.359 --> 00:01:23.560 So I've got a very vivid. 29 00:01:23.319 --> 00:01:28.439 Imagination, I think, okay, and sometimes I'll picture worst case 30 00:01:28.480 --> 00:01:30.879 scenarios and then I get scared that I'm manifesting a 31 00:01:30.879 --> 00:01:33.480 worst case scenario. So I just gotta not even be 32 00:01:33.480 --> 00:01:36.079 manifesting because I'll start picturing something really good. But then 33 00:01:36.079 --> 00:01:39.640 almost like an intrusive thought, I get this vision and 34 00:01:39.680 --> 00:01:42.280 it's a very the negative vision is very clear, and 35 00:01:42.280 --> 00:01:44.920 then I get scared. So I have kind of taken a. 36 00:01:44.879 --> 00:01:45.760 Break from manifesting. 37 00:01:45.799 --> 00:01:48.799 Sport mission. Yeah, I get that. I think one is 38 00:01:48.879 --> 00:01:51.760 just anxiety and the other is manifesting. 39 00:01:51.959 --> 00:01:55.359 Yes, okay, thank you. I need a new air fant. 40 00:01:55.879 --> 00:01:57.239 Why hasn't she said that? 41 00:01:57.959 --> 00:01:58.159 Yeah? 42 00:01:58.239 --> 00:02:02.040 I think manifesting is when you envisioned the big dream, right, 43 00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:06.200 but the intrusive thoughts of you being like, no, your house, 44 00:02:06.280 --> 00:02:07.959 your beautiful house with your wife is going to burn 45 00:02:07.959 --> 00:02:08.199 into the. 46 00:02:08.280 --> 00:02:10.879 Crowd like, that's that's anxiety. 47 00:02:10.960 --> 00:02:11.479 That's anxiety. 48 00:02:11.479 --> 00:02:13.199 Well, my anxiety vision is very clear. 49 00:02:13.240 --> 00:02:14.360 Okay, good, So what is that? 50 00:02:14.439 --> 00:02:18.080 Okay, I'm drunk in Florida. Okay, hammered out of my mind. 51 00:02:18.159 --> 00:02:21.120 That's sober too. So it's drunk in Florida. But I'm 52 00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:22.240 not sober in this vision. 53 00:02:22.280 --> 00:02:23.280 I'm drunk in Florida. 54 00:02:23.319 --> 00:02:26.240 I'm at this like dive bar and I'm watching the TV. 55 00:02:26.719 --> 00:02:28.120 And I turned to the person next to me, who 56 00:02:28.120 --> 00:02:30.560 doesn't give a fuck, and they're like, and I go. 57 00:02:30.680 --> 00:02:32.319 Oh, I could have been something. 58 00:02:33.159 --> 00:02:36.080 And then I just smashed my head into the into 59 00:02:36.159 --> 00:02:39.520 the bar, and then I got. 60 00:02:39.479 --> 00:02:41.400 Cherries go flying everywhere, and. 61 00:02:41.360 --> 00:02:44.520 They're like, your card doesn't work, and I go, that's 62 00:02:44.599 --> 00:02:45.520 my do you have a scar? 63 00:02:45.719 --> 00:02:47.159 You have no money, no. 64 00:02:46.919 --> 00:02:49.800 No money, no nothing, no friends in Florida for some 65 00:02:49.960 --> 00:02:51.479 god knows reason, which I even. 66 00:02:51.360 --> 00:02:54.599 Like Florida watching cable TV. No, that's a dark day. 67 00:02:54.719 --> 00:02:58.120 It's a dark day. And do you have actually saw 68 00:02:58.159 --> 00:03:01.520 that exact thing happen to a very famous comedian. Really, 69 00:03:01.719 --> 00:03:05.199 I was in South Carolina with my exes family and 70 00:03:05.240 --> 00:03:08.759 we were at lunch and it was dead. There was 71 00:03:08.879 --> 00:03:10.599 no one in there, it's this beach bar. 72 00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:12.639 Yes, no one in there. 73 00:03:12.599 --> 00:03:14.520 Except for us. And then I look at the bar 74 00:03:15.080 --> 00:03:19.479 and I was like, I is that I'm gonna say 75 00:03:19.759 --> 00:03:25.560 sleep it? Nick Sword said no, this was years ago, 76 00:03:26.080 --> 00:03:31.199 and by himself, slouched over, red faced watching the TV 77 00:03:31.479 --> 00:03:34.599 in the corner of the bar, just hammered, that's sad. 78 00:03:35.039 --> 00:03:37.560 And I was like it was one of those moments 79 00:03:37.560 --> 00:03:39.560 where like I had been newly sober at the time, 80 00:03:39.639 --> 00:03:43.120 and I was like, Oh, that's like God showing me 81 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:46.520 what it can look like if you don't stop. Because 82 00:03:46.520 --> 00:03:50.479 that is a wildly famous and successful person sitting alone 83 00:03:50.599 --> 00:03:55.039 day drinking at a bar with nobody so talented. 84 00:03:55.120 --> 00:03:57.039 And also it's like talking about something of your own 85 00:03:57.080 --> 00:04:00.000 design just there. It's like these outside things weren't me 86 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.840 making them happy, and there they are at the same 87 00:04:01.879 --> 00:04:04.319 place as you. I had a similar thing where it 88 00:04:04.319 --> 00:04:06.719 felt like a sign from the universe when I first 89 00:04:06.759 --> 00:04:09.719 stopped drinking. I was in a relationship with someone and 90 00:04:09.800 --> 00:04:12.520 we went to like their grandmother or grandmother had passed away, 91 00:04:12.560 --> 00:04:14.080 so we went to the grandmother's house to clear stuff 92 00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:16.399 out and she goes, my aunts are twins, and she 93 00:04:16.519 --> 00:04:18.079 was like, one thing you should know about them. They 94 00:04:18.120 --> 00:04:20.439 both went to rehab at the same time, and one 95 00:04:20.480 --> 00:04:22.639 of them, when they got out of rehab, went to 96 00:04:22.680 --> 00:04:26.360 an AA meeting and the other one went and got high. 97 00:04:26.399 --> 00:04:28.279 The aunt that got high was the one that opened 98 00:04:28.319 --> 00:04:31.000 the door, because it was like, whoa, it. 99 00:04:30.879 --> 00:04:33.560 Was just just a human tornado. 100 00:04:33.560 --> 00:04:36.920 Exactly chaos, just screaming, she's red, she's. 101 00:04:36.680 --> 00:04:38.040 Just got a fucking cigarette in her hair. 102 00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:41.560 Out of it. 103 00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:44.480 And then the sober one came with like coffees for 104 00:04:44.519 --> 00:04:46.600 everybody and was to get and I remember, and I 105 00:04:46.680 --> 00:04:48.439 was lying to that person. She didn't know that because 106 00:04:48.480 --> 00:04:50.240 I was like back and forth with recovery. She didn't 107 00:04:50.240 --> 00:04:53.240 know that I was thinking of getting sober more. And 108 00:04:53.279 --> 00:04:55.600 so that was such like a like a yeah, I 109 00:04:55.639 --> 00:04:57.160 guess I felt like a moment of clarity, like a 110 00:04:57.199 --> 00:04:57.759 god shot. 111 00:04:57.879 --> 00:04:59.000 Yeah. No, totally. 112 00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:03.240 Were you always comfortable with the language of saying like God, okay, no, I. 113 00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:05.680 That was actually the thing that made me not want 114 00:05:05.720 --> 00:05:06.759 to go to AA. 115 00:05:06.680 --> 00:05:08.600 Real because I appreciate that you say it, because in 116 00:05:08.600 --> 00:05:10.800 New York City a lot of times people don't say, 117 00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:12.959 oh I felt God and this more work, yeah, which 118 00:05:13.000 --> 00:05:13.319 is fair. 119 00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:14.600 You know, we each have our activities. 120 00:05:14.600 --> 00:05:16.959 But I appreciate it when people feel comfortable enough with 121 00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:18.279 their spirituality to use those. 122 00:05:18.439 --> 00:05:22.079 Yeah, at this point, I there's something bigger than me 123 00:05:22.319 --> 00:05:24.480 at work, and it's easy to call it God. Yeah, 124 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:26.560 it's just easy. It's a shortcut. If you don't think 125 00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:28.000 it's God, if you think it's the universe, if you 126 00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:29.920 think it's a planet's, if you think it's Sadder's rings, 127 00:05:29.959 --> 00:05:31.839 whatever you fucking think it is, I don't really care. 128 00:05:32.120 --> 00:05:35.040 I'm calling it God totally because there's something greater at 129 00:05:35.079 --> 00:05:35.839 play always. 130 00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:39.079 You know, it's like it's like the words were man made, 131 00:05:39.279 --> 00:05:41.480 but we're trying to get something that's bigger than made 132 00:05:41.519 --> 00:05:45.040 by humans. And for me, that placeholder feels like something 133 00:05:45.079 --> 00:05:47.639 that rings true. So then I'll also say but I'll 134 00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:51.199 say yeah, God, higher power, like whatever, yeah, whatever. 135 00:05:51.399 --> 00:05:56.120 Yeah, what was one of your like rock bottoms. 136 00:05:55.639 --> 00:05:59.240 Oh God, oh my God, or even. 137 00:05:59.079 --> 00:06:01.120 Like something that should have been a rock bottom that 138 00:06:01.160 --> 00:06:02.920 you didn't think was a rock bottom and you just 139 00:06:03.040 --> 00:06:03.560 kept going. 140 00:06:04.439 --> 00:06:04.720 You know. 141 00:06:06.680 --> 00:06:10.600 It's so recently I have I felt like I had 142 00:06:10.600 --> 00:06:11.560 a rock bottom like. 143 00:06:11.480 --> 00:06:16.560 This podcast, like this podcast had a rough morning rock bottom. 144 00:06:16.959 --> 00:06:19.399 I had a what felt like a rock bottom the 145 00:06:19.439 --> 00:06:19.839 other week. 146 00:06:19.920 --> 00:06:22.079 So it's like the first thing that comes to mind. 147 00:06:22.639 --> 00:06:25.519 But that was more like a digestive rock bottom. 148 00:06:25.879 --> 00:06:27.120 But it was so bad. 149 00:06:27.199 --> 00:06:29.920 I feel like it kind of bumps out like problems 150 00:06:29.959 --> 00:06:32.240 that I like ones, I would say rock bottom. 151 00:06:32.279 --> 00:06:34.959 Sobriety wise was like just I mean. 152 00:06:35.199 --> 00:06:38.319 When I look back at pictures of myself, I'm so unhappy, 153 00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:39.600 so unhealthy. 154 00:06:39.720 --> 00:06:41.480 So did you get the chin bloat? 155 00:06:41.720 --> 00:06:42.160 Yeah? I did. 156 00:06:42.199 --> 00:06:44.240 Oh, I had horrible chin bloat, Like I don't even 157 00:06:44.279 --> 00:06:47.879 have a is just alcohol is sitting right here like 158 00:06:47.920 --> 00:06:48.399 a cambel. 159 00:06:48.759 --> 00:06:51.600 It's like a cambel tom for alcohol in case you 160 00:06:51.600 --> 00:06:54.199 need to dip in your tequila right here pops into 161 00:06:54.199 --> 00:06:57.720 your mouth, Thank god, thank god. 162 00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:01.680 Getting I did used to get that. Yeah, exactly where 163 00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:03.480 are they going like this? Trying to get the last 164 00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:05.680 help I had? 165 00:07:05.759 --> 00:07:08.839 That's so bad And I was just but it was 166 00:07:08.879 --> 00:07:10.399 like so many things that they're connected, Like I had 167 00:07:10.399 --> 00:07:12.399 no idea how to like regulate my nervous is, have 168 00:07:12.399 --> 00:07:13.959 no idea how to deal with life? 169 00:07:14.199 --> 00:07:15.199 Did you figure that out? 170 00:07:15.600 --> 00:07:15.920 You know? 171 00:07:18.759 --> 00:07:19.759 Here's what I was hoping. 172 00:07:19.959 --> 00:07:26.360 You know, no, But and I was trying back then too, 173 00:07:26.399 --> 00:07:27.920 But it's like you don't know what you don't know? 174 00:07:27.959 --> 00:07:29.720 So at least now I have some sense of like 175 00:07:29.800 --> 00:07:33.839 clues and stuff. But no, no, no, no, but it's 176 00:07:34.279 --> 00:07:36.879 but it's like, you know, I'm more grateful than I 177 00:07:36.920 --> 00:07:37.399 ever was. 178 00:07:38.040 --> 00:07:39.560 Doesn't mean so I do feel like it. 179 00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:42.399 Does change everything. It does change, it changes everything, and 180 00:07:42.439 --> 00:07:44.560 I hate it so much that it changes everything. 181 00:07:45.199 --> 00:07:45.959 Live gratitude. 182 00:07:46.120 --> 00:07:48.319 It's just blow my fucking brains out. 183 00:07:48.439 --> 00:07:50.560 I couldn't I couldn't agree more. 184 00:07:50.759 --> 00:07:54.680 How annoying is that that being hydrated, taken a freaking walk. 185 00:07:54.560 --> 00:07:59.759 Journaling, journaling, some sunshine, meditating, I'm out there rip Pausing 186 00:07:59.800 --> 00:08:03.560 while agitated. Pausing while agitated has not been my strength 187 00:08:03.560 --> 00:08:07.079 this year. I struggle, but my god, is it good 188 00:08:07.120 --> 00:08:07.600 when I do it? 189 00:08:07.639 --> 00:08:09.120 But would you say that you're better at it than 190 00:08:09.160 --> 00:08:10.040 you were in the past. 191 00:08:10.879 --> 00:08:12.519 Yeah, But this year has been a little bit of 192 00:08:13.040 --> 00:08:16.680 This year's been a little bit of a slippery slope. 193 00:08:17.959 --> 00:08:21.759 It's so because there's the instant gratification in the moment 194 00:08:21.839 --> 00:08:25.160 of being like I'm fucking big dog, yes, and I'm 195 00:08:25.160 --> 00:08:27.759 gonna tell you about yourself and fuck you. But there's 196 00:08:28.079 --> 00:08:32.039 long term gratification in being calm, coal and collected, which 197 00:08:32.120 --> 00:08:34.159 I mean, why do I need long term gratification? If 198 00:08:34.200 --> 00:08:36.759 I don't want to be here long term. 199 00:08:37.159 --> 00:08:39.799 I hear you and I feel you, but also we 200 00:08:39.879 --> 00:08:42.360 got to reroute that. But also then we're told to 201 00:08:42.559 --> 00:08:44.399 keep things in the day. So it's like, how am 202 00:08:44.399 --> 00:08:46.039 I supposed to play in long term and society twenty 203 00:08:46.039 --> 00:08:46.799 four hours at a time. 204 00:08:46.879 --> 00:08:49.039 If right now it feels good to be big dogs. 205 00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:50.519 You don't have like an age, you want to live 206 00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:51.960 towards like you don't have like a No. 207 00:08:52.039 --> 00:08:53.559 I mean, I went to a psychic the other day 208 00:08:53.600 --> 00:08:56.080 and they told me horrible news, which is that I 209 00:08:56.120 --> 00:08:59.000 have a long and healthy lifelife. Oh good, No, that's 210 00:08:59.080 --> 00:09:02.240 horrible news. For really, I really thought I wasn't gonna 211 00:09:02.279 --> 00:09:05.679 make it past thirty thirty thirty, and unfortunately I'm seven 212 00:09:05.759 --> 00:09:06.759 years past the barometer. 213 00:09:06.879 --> 00:09:09.440 So when you but could you imagine being like eighty 214 00:09:09.480 --> 00:09:11.279 and like no, But it's also. 215 00:09:11.159 --> 00:09:13.279 One thing that seems to my tits are already sagging 216 00:09:13.320 --> 00:09:15.200 too much. You can fix that, No, we can't. 217 00:09:15.320 --> 00:09:15.960 You can fix it. 218 00:09:16.159 --> 00:09:18.000 What am I get to have a boob job at eighty? 219 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:21.240 If you if that's actually Jane Fonda looks. 220 00:09:21.039 --> 00:09:23.799 I was just gonna say, Jane Fonda does look great, Jane, but. 221 00:09:23.799 --> 00:09:26.279 She also was exercising twenty four to seven throughout her 222 00:09:26.399 --> 00:09:27.120 entire Also. 223 00:09:26.960 --> 00:09:30.039 Are not Jane fond. This is true. This is true. 224 00:09:30.039 --> 00:09:32.600 It's a drug addict for fifteen years, damn. 225 00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:36.360 But there are ways now, like if like the fear 226 00:09:36.440 --> 00:09:38.919 is like cosmetic stuff, there's stuff we can do, but 227 00:09:38.960 --> 00:09:40.559 it's all really expensive. 228 00:09:40.120 --> 00:09:42.360 So that totally kind of like to make the money. 229 00:09:42.519 --> 00:09:45.360 That's this, here's the thing, here's what's gonna happen. I'm 230 00:09:45.399 --> 00:09:48.759 gonna do this entertainment thing until it sucks the will 231 00:09:48.799 --> 00:09:51.039 to live out of my ass, which is right two 232 00:09:51.120 --> 00:09:55.279 years from now, it's hard, and then I'm gonna go 233 00:09:55.320 --> 00:09:58.559 to the woods or Sodona and I love Sadona, return 234 00:09:58.639 --> 00:10:02.600 to the earth. I love Sadana, magic fucking energy, vortext 235 00:10:03.039 --> 00:10:05.759 and I'll just like be a old Clay lady with 236 00:10:05.799 --> 00:10:09.159 no work done and just tits down to my fucking knees. 237 00:10:09.360 --> 00:10:12.320 And I'm struck because I have a similar fantasy. 238 00:10:12.480 --> 00:10:14.759 Yeah, yeah, I say it's it's so all or nothing 239 00:10:14.759 --> 00:10:17.120 where it's like I'll be like I'm gonna do entertainment 240 00:10:17.159 --> 00:10:19.960 and then say, in like four or five years, I'm 241 00:10:19.960 --> 00:10:20.679 going off the grid. 242 00:10:20.759 --> 00:10:23.080 Yeah, I'm going off the like an off the grid. 243 00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:26.080 I mean like not, I'm gonna have a landline. I'm 244 00:10:26.080 --> 00:10:27.840 gonna have a landline and if you're lucky, you get 245 00:10:27.840 --> 00:10:29.720 that number. But you're probably not gonna be too lucky. 246 00:10:29.720 --> 00:10:30.519 It'll be so nice. 247 00:10:30.559 --> 00:10:32.480 There's gonna be four people with my phone number. 248 00:10:32.720 --> 00:10:34.679 Don't you think you get bored? You just pray all 249 00:10:34.759 --> 00:10:37.279 day and cook in your kitchen and have a garden. 250 00:10:37.440 --> 00:10:38.320 I think it. 251 00:10:38.480 --> 00:10:41.879 I think humans. Here's the thing, and I know this 252 00:10:41.960 --> 00:10:43.759 to be true because I go on this trip with 253 00:10:43.799 --> 00:10:46.759 my dad every summer to Canada. We'll go off the grid. 254 00:10:46.799 --> 00:10:49.679 There's no running water, no electricity. We fish for our food, 255 00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:52.759 really and yeah, it's like a hardcore. 256 00:10:52.519 --> 00:10:55.000 Do you guys use spearfishing or no, neither. 257 00:10:55.080 --> 00:10:58.440 We jigfish jig you just drop a jig down, Oh yeah, 258 00:10:59.200 --> 00:11:01.440 or you can lure. We troll for northerns, but they're 259 00:11:01.440 --> 00:11:03.840 not really good to eat, so for you. But anyway, 260 00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:10.399 what happens is for the first four days, For the 261 00:11:10.440 --> 00:11:15.679 first four days, your body is riddled with anxiety because 262 00:11:15.720 --> 00:11:19.159 you're not You're so used to the over stimulus, the 263 00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:22.240 checking the phone, talking to people, getting the notifications that 264 00:11:22.240 --> 00:11:24.799 this that that, So your brain has to rewire, and 265 00:11:24.799 --> 00:11:26.440 I'm sure it takes more than four days, but my 266 00:11:26.480 --> 00:11:30.279 experience on this trip is that it takes four days 267 00:11:30.360 --> 00:11:33.759 and then you start to your body starts to calm down, 268 00:11:34.240 --> 00:11:36.519 and you get on a sleep schedule with the sun 269 00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:41.600 and like you allow yourself to pull yourself out of 270 00:11:41.639 --> 00:11:43.720 the met and we've it's a myth, it's a rumor. 271 00:11:44.600 --> 00:11:45.120 I've heard of the. 272 00:11:46.120 --> 00:11:49.600 I've heard of it. I believe, though I am a believer. 273 00:11:49.720 --> 00:11:50.600 That makes sense. 274 00:11:50.799 --> 00:11:54.399 Yeah, no, it's logical. But then the last three days 275 00:11:54.759 --> 00:11:58.600 I never feel better the entire year. The last three 276 00:11:58.679 --> 00:12:00.200 days of the trip are the best three days of 277 00:12:00.240 --> 00:12:03.080 my entire year. Every year I go because I have 278 00:12:03.279 --> 00:12:08.080 returned to how humans are supposed to exist, Like we're 279 00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:11.320 not supposed to exist flooded with technology and terror and 280 00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:14.840 fear mongering and you know, all the stimulus in the 281 00:12:14.840 --> 00:12:16.879 street in the world, Like that's not how we're supposed 282 00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:19.639 to exist. So I do think I would be bored 283 00:12:19.679 --> 00:12:21.840 for probably a month. I would genuinely have to get 284 00:12:21.919 --> 00:12:24.600 rid of my phone, yes, and then huge culprit there 285 00:12:24.720 --> 00:12:26.919 and then I would have to still have purpose, yes, 286 00:12:27.000 --> 00:12:30.480 Like I would have to be writing or creating or 287 00:12:30.600 --> 00:12:33.840 being artistic in some capacity. I would still have to 288 00:12:33.879 --> 00:12:35.879 have purpose because that's the thing that moves you forward 289 00:12:35.879 --> 00:12:38.000 in life. But I don't think I would be bored. 290 00:12:38.159 --> 00:12:41.080 It's also the and boredom is such a weird word too, 291 00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:45.120 because like I love having nothing, and boredom to me, 292 00:12:45.600 --> 00:12:49.000 when I am scrolling, that's me. I hate using the 293 00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:50.799 word board because it's like like, who are you? But 294 00:12:51.360 --> 00:12:55.000 I that's me fighting. It's boredom. But it's like a 295 00:12:55.039 --> 00:12:56.879 fear almost of where my mind will go when I'm 296 00:12:56.879 --> 00:12:58.480 not just having these like constant inputs. 297 00:12:59.039 --> 00:12:59.879 But it's okay. 298 00:13:00.039 --> 00:13:01.879 When I don't do it, then I feel great and 299 00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:04.759 there's a moment of panic and then I go, I 300 00:13:04.840 --> 00:13:05.799 just kind of release it. 301 00:13:05.960 --> 00:13:07.480 But I mean, I'm I'm addicted to my phone. 302 00:13:07.480 --> 00:13:08.879 When you said you were going to do a thirty 303 00:13:08.919 --> 00:13:12.480 day no social media, the first thing I did, and 304 00:13:12.639 --> 00:13:14.360 we were texting about that. The first thing I did, 305 00:13:14.480 --> 00:13:16.120 I went on social media almost cause I went three 306 00:13:16.200 --> 00:13:18.759 days on social media, like I needed to hit the 307 00:13:18.840 --> 00:13:22.000 reaction to that. So I'm really addicted. But I truly, 308 00:13:22.639 --> 00:13:25.240 truly also believe that all of that. Our brains are 309 00:13:25.240 --> 00:13:28.360 not made to filter a cat video asaiatic a video 310 00:13:28.480 --> 00:13:32.279 and then like my algorithm now is like hunting down pedophiles. 311 00:13:32.320 --> 00:13:33.279 Yeah great, oh that's good. 312 00:13:33.360 --> 00:13:35.519 Yeah, but it's like because I had a video boo 313 00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:39.480 boom pedophile mini pancakes like gets so much. 314 00:13:39.840 --> 00:13:44.320 Well, and I've taken substantial social media breaks like sixty 315 00:13:44.399 --> 00:13:47.279 days really days. Yeah, like because I have a social 316 00:13:47.279 --> 00:13:49.080 media girl that runs my stuff, then you don't have 317 00:13:49.120 --> 00:13:51.000 to post. And when I was going through my divorce, 318 00:13:51.080 --> 00:13:53.600 I was having a really tough time mentally and I 319 00:13:53.679 --> 00:13:55.039 just was like, I need a break because it was 320 00:13:55.080 --> 00:13:58.000 a weird time in my life where my career was 321 00:13:58.039 --> 00:14:00.960 blowing up, like my clips were going and then my 322 00:14:01.039 --> 00:14:02.159 personal life was a mess. 323 00:14:02.759 --> 00:14:08.320 Isn't that the way sometimes always? And yes, but it. 324 00:14:08.240 --> 00:14:10.559 Was just so painful for people to like judge me 325 00:14:10.679 --> 00:14:13.000 my looks, my relationship whatever, on top of what I 326 00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:14.279 was already going through. So I was like, I don't 327 00:14:14.279 --> 00:14:16.440 need this. I got off. And then an interesting thing 328 00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:18.480 happens when you're when you stop doing the let me 329 00:14:18.519 --> 00:14:20.759 go look, because that will happen like six let me 330 00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:23.279 go look, let me go look a lie, sixteen to 331 00:14:23.320 --> 00:14:26.279 twenty times a day, let me go look, Yeah, me, 332 00:14:26.279 --> 00:14:26.559 I need. 333 00:14:26.519 --> 00:14:28.399 To see how because people go, I say, I haven't 334 00:14:28.399 --> 00:14:30.039 dike social media to go, Well, you have to work. 335 00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:31.360 I go, that's not what I'm talking about. No, I 336 00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:33.519 can post and get up. I have hired social media 337 00:14:33.559 --> 00:14:36.080 people too. I'm still just addicted to it. Yeah, it's 338 00:14:36.159 --> 00:14:36.679 let me go, let. 339 00:14:36.639 --> 00:14:38.000 Me go look, let me go look. 340 00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:41.559 And then also your life disappears because you look and 341 00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:43.320 you're like, oh, I was on my phone for six hours. 342 00:14:43.360 --> 00:14:45.320 Do the map? How many days that was this year? Like, 343 00:14:45.519 --> 00:14:47.679 I'm like, we are giving our lives away to these things. 344 00:14:47.720 --> 00:14:50.200 So when I have taken the breaks, I feel so 345 00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:52.639 much better, so much more centered, so much more whatever. 346 00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:56.000 And then I get back on it and it almost 347 00:14:56.080 --> 00:15:00.440 feels foreign, like especially instagrams eating chemicals. Yeah, it's like 348 00:15:00.519 --> 00:15:04.080 it's like alcohol actually, Like drinking alcohol can feel so 349 00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:07.799 normal and needed and necessary when you're doing it, and 350 00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:09.799 then when you stop for a while and you start again, 351 00:15:09.879 --> 00:15:10.799 you taste the poison. 352 00:15:10.919 --> 00:15:13.120 Yes. Have you had it where you've accidentally taken a 353 00:15:13.159 --> 00:15:14.000 sip of something? Yes? 354 00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:16.639 So when I was in Santrapez, I ordered this drink. No, 355 00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:19.840 I ordered this drink. Yes, Like very recently, I ordered 356 00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:22.039 this drink. They had a strawberry nine alcoholic drink on 357 00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:24.840 the menu. Obviously there's a language barrier. So I said 358 00:15:24.840 --> 00:15:26.480 to him, I was like, I want the Strawberry nine 359 00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:28.360 alcoholic drink. And he was like what. I was like, 360 00:15:28.399 --> 00:15:31.799 the strawberry no alcohol drink. I said, Like everyone at 361 00:15:31.879 --> 00:15:34.080 the table heard me say no alcohol. 362 00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:36.000 No emphasis on the no alcohol, no alcohol. 363 00:15:36.200 --> 00:15:39.000 Three times, no matter of fact, three times. He comes, 364 00:15:39.000 --> 00:15:41.759 he puts the drink down. I take a drink, drink 365 00:15:41.759 --> 00:15:43.039 because I'm thirsty. 366 00:15:43.240 --> 00:15:43.399 Right. 367 00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:45.720 It was so we were there, We were there during 368 00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:47.960 the heat wave. It was like ninety five degrees and 369 00:15:48.039 --> 00:15:50.279 it was swallow, a gulp and a swallow, and it 370 00:15:50.440 --> 00:15:57.279 was mescal, which is the worst liquor in the world. Like, yeah, 371 00:15:57.320 --> 00:15:59.279 it's like that smoky tequila and like, I don't know 372 00:15:59.519 --> 00:16:02.600 what it tastes like you mixed an ash tray with tequila. 373 00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:05.080 And I'm just like, who is this even for? Like, 374 00:16:05.440 --> 00:16:07.840 actually what you're talking about? Yeah, an avid drinker? 375 00:16:08.279 --> 00:16:08.759 Offended? 376 00:16:08.879 --> 00:16:10.080 I hate this. 377 00:16:10.200 --> 00:16:10.679 Yeah. One thing. 378 00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:13.600 And then it was so funny because one of the 379 00:16:13.600 --> 00:16:15.399 girls that I was with, she's a lawyer, and she's like, 380 00:16:15.399 --> 00:16:16.799 you know, we could make a really big deal out 381 00:16:16.799 --> 00:16:18.759 of it that one of those around I love to 382 00:16:18.759 --> 00:16:20.320 have a lawyer around. She's like, this is a really 383 00:16:20.320 --> 00:16:22.679 big problem. Like you're sober. You said no alcohol three 384 00:16:22.679 --> 00:16:23.440 times we all heard it. 385 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:24.240 Did you freak? 386 00:16:24.279 --> 00:16:26.799 Were you like no, I just put it down and 387 00:16:26.840 --> 00:16:28.960 I was like, there's alcohol in that. I needed the 388 00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:29.559 other drink. 389 00:16:29.799 --> 00:16:30.000 You know. 390 00:16:30.120 --> 00:16:32.440 I wasn't gonna like make a big deal out of it, 391 00:16:32.519 --> 00:16:36.200 but like it was so disgusting to me that I 392 00:16:36.279 --> 00:16:38.639 was like yes, Like afterwards, I was like. 393 00:16:39.320 --> 00:16:41.559 That's good you didn't because I have had it twice. 394 00:16:42.000 --> 00:16:43.519 One time I didn't freak, but it was because I 395 00:16:43.559 --> 00:16:45.840 was around. I was at this event and there was 396 00:16:45.879 --> 00:16:47.559 a round and it was kind of that time was 397 00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:50.320 a little less jarring because I there was a drink 398 00:16:50.320 --> 00:16:52.240 that looked just like mine and I like just kind 399 00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:54.159 of like grabbed it and I didn't do a big goal. 400 00:16:54.279 --> 00:16:54.440 Yeah. 401 00:16:54.519 --> 00:16:54.679