1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:08,880
Speaker 1: The pipe by anonymous Randolph Crescent n W. My dear Pew,

2
00:00:09,599 --> 00:00:11,400
I hope you will like the pipe which I send

3
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:14,160
with this. It is rather a curious example of a

4
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,879
certain school of Indian carving, and as a present from yours,

5
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:23,199
jruly Joseph Tress. It was really very handsome of Tress.

6
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,719
Very handsome, the more especially as I was aware that

7
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,359
to give presents was not exactly in Tress's line. The

8
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,479
truth is that when I saw what manner of pipe

9
00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,439
it was, I was amazed. It was contained in a

10
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,719
sandalwood box, which was itself with some remarkable specimens of carving.

11
00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:44,679
I used the word remarkable advisedly, because although the workmanship

12
00:00:44,759 --> 00:00:48,039
was undoubtedly in its way artistic, the result could not

13
00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:51,520
be described as beautiful. The carver had thought proper to

14
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,000
ornament the box with some of the ugliest figures I

15
00:00:54,039 --> 00:00:57,320
remember to have seen. They appeared to me to be devils,

16
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,200
or perhaps they were intended to represent deity, appertaining to

17
00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:05,159
some mythological system with which, thank goodness, I am unacquainted.

18
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:08,159
The pipe itself was worthy of the case in which

19
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,719
it was contained. It was of Mersham, with an amber mouthpiece.

20
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,239
It was rather too large for ordinary smoking. But then,

21
00:01:15,359 --> 00:01:18,760
of course one doesn't smoke a pipe like that. There

22
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:21,079
are pipes in my collection which I should as soon

23
00:01:21,159 --> 00:01:23,840
think of smoking as I should have eating. Ask a

24
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,719
China maniac to let you have afternoon tea out of

25
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,799
his old chelsea, and you will learn some home truths

26
00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:33,760
as to the durability of human friendships. The glory of

27
00:01:33,799 --> 00:01:37,159
the pipe, as Tress had suggested, lay in its carving.

28
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,959
Not that I claimed that it was beautiful, any more

29
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,920
than I make such a claim for the carving on

30
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,680
the box. But as Tress said in his note, it

31
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:49,239
was curious. The stem and the bowl were quite plain,

32
00:01:49,719 --> 00:01:51,760
But on the edge of the bull was perched to

33
00:01:51,799 --> 00:01:54,480
some kind of lizard. I told myself it was an

34
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,079
octopus when I first saw it, but I have since

35
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,680
had reason to believe that it was some almost unique

36
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:03,799
memory of the lizard tribe. The creature was represented as

37
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,000
climbing over the edge of the bowl down toward to

38
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:10,120
the stem, and its legs or feelers or tentacula, or

39
00:02:10,159 --> 00:02:12,800
whatever the things are called, where, if I may use

40
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:17,159
a vulgarism, sprawling about all over the place. For instance,

41
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,840
two or three of them were twined about the bowl.

42
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,759
Two or three of them were twisted round the stem,

43
00:02:22,879 --> 00:02:26,680
and one, a particularly horrible one, was uplifted in the air,

44
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,599
so that if you put the pipe in your mouth,

45
00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:32,800
the thing was pointing straight at your nose. Not the

46
00:02:32,879 --> 00:02:36,000
least agreeable feature about the creature was that it was

47
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:39,479
hideously lifelike. It appeared to have been carved in amber,

48
00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:42,520
but some coloring matter must have been introduced, for inside

49
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:46,120
the amber. The creature was of a peculiarly ghastly green.

50
00:02:47,159 --> 00:02:49,360
The more I examined the pipe, the more amazed I

51
00:02:49,479 --> 00:02:53,400
was at Trest's generosity. He and I are rival collectors.

52
00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,000
I'm not going to say in so many words that

53
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,599
his collection of pipes contains nothing but rubbish, because as

54
00:02:59,599 --> 00:03:01,520
a matter of fact, he has two or three rather

55
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,960
decent specimens. But to compare his collection to mine would

56
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,319
be absurd. Tress is conscious of this, and he resents it.

57
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,680
He resents it to such an extent that he has

58
00:03:10,719 --> 00:03:13,639
been known, at least on one occasion to declare that

59
00:03:13,719 --> 00:03:16,800
one single pipe of his I believe he alluded to

60
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:21,120
the brum again relic preposterously attributed to Sir Walter Raleigh,

61
00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:25,039
was worth the whole of my collection put together. Although

62
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,759
I have forgotten this, as I hope I always shall

63
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,000
forgive remarks made when envious passions get the better of

64
00:03:31,039 --> 00:03:34,840
our nobler nature, even of a Joseph Truss, it is

65
00:03:34,879 --> 00:03:37,919
not to be supposed that I have forgotten it. He

66
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,159
was therefore not at all the sort of person from

67
00:03:41,199 --> 00:03:44,240
whom I expected to receive a present, and such a present.

68
00:03:44,479 --> 00:03:46,599
I do not believe that he himself had a finer

69
00:03:46,599 --> 00:03:48,759
pipe in his collection, and to have given it to

70
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,000
me I had misjudged the man. I wondered where he

71
00:03:52,039 --> 00:03:54,280
had got it from. I had seen his pipes, I

72
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:57,080
knew them off by heart, and some nice trumper he

73
00:03:57,159 --> 00:03:59,639
has among them, too, But I had never seen that

74
00:03:59,719 --> 00:04:02,599
by me before. The more I looked at it, the

75
00:04:02,599 --> 00:04:06,000
more my amazement grew. The beast perched upon the edge

76
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,639
of the bowl was so lifelike. Its two beadlike eyes

77
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,439
seemed to gleam at me with positively human intelligence. The

78
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,960
pipe fascinated it to such an extent that I actually

79
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:21,920
resolved to smoke it. I filled it with perik. Ordinarily

80
00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:24,639
I used bird's eye, But on those very rare occasions

81
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:28,439
on which I use a specimen, I smoked perique. I

82
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:31,480
let it up with a small sensation of excitement. As

83
00:04:31,519 --> 00:04:34,519
I did so, I kept my eyes perforce fixed upon

84
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:38,600
the beast. The beast pointed its upraised tentacle directly at

85
00:04:38,639 --> 00:04:43,040
me as I inhaled the pungent tobacco. That that tentacle

86
00:04:43,079 --> 00:04:46,279
impressed me with a feeling of actual uncanniness. It was

87
00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:49,160
broad daylight, and I was smoking in front of the window.

88
00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:52,000
Yet to such an extent was I affected that it

89
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,279
seemed to me that the tentacle was not only vibrating, which,

90
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,639
owing to the peculiarity of its position, was quite within

91
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:03,480
the range of probability, but actually moving, elongating, stretching forward,

92
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,800
that is, farther towards me and toward the tip of

93
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:10,079
my nose. So impressed was I by this idea, that

94
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,800
I took the pipe out of my mouth and minutely

95
00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:18,120
examined the beast. Really, the delusion was excusable, So cunningly

96
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,879
had the artist wrought that he succeeded in producing a

97
00:05:20,879 --> 00:05:24,759
creature which such was as its uncanniness I could only

98
00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:30,879
hope had no original in nature. Replacing the pipe between

99
00:05:30,879 --> 00:05:34,560
my lips, I took several whiffs. Never had smoking had

100
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,480
such an effect on me. Before either the pipe or

101
00:05:37,519 --> 00:05:41,759
the creature on it exercised some singular fascination, I seemed,

102
00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,959
without an instant's warning, to be passing into some land

103
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,040
of dreams. I saw the beast, which was perched upon

104
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:51,920
the bowl, writhe and twist. I saw it lift itself

105
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:57,879
bodily from the Meresham Feeling better now, I looked up.

106
00:05:58,079 --> 00:06:01,639
Joseph Chress was speaking, What's the matter? Have I been ill?

107
00:06:02,439 --> 00:06:04,439
You appear to have been in some kind of swoon.

108
00:06:04,959 --> 00:06:09,600
Trest's tone was peculiar, even a little dry swoon. I

109
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,600
never was guilty of such a thing in my life,

110
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:16,839
nor was I until I smoked that pipe. I sat up.

111
00:06:17,519 --> 00:06:19,519
The act of sitting up bade me conscious of the

112
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,959
fact that I had been lying down, conscious too, that

113
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,600
I was feeling more than a little dazed. It seemed

114
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,000
as though I was waking out of some strange lethargic sleep,

115
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,639
a kind of feeling which I have read of and

116
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:37,040
heard about, but never before experienced. Where am I? Ye're

117
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,519
on the couch in your own room. You were on

118
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,240
the floor, but I thought it would be better to

119
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,000
pick you up and place you on the couch. Though

120
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,920
no one performed the same kind office to me. When

121
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,959
I was on the floor again, Tress's tone was distinctly dry.

122
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:56,279
How came you here, Ah, that's the question. He rubbed

123
00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:58,959
his chin, a habit of his which has annoyed me

124
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:02,480
more than once before. Or do you think you're sufficiently

125
00:07:02,519 --> 00:07:06,519
recovered to enable you to understand a simple explanation. I

126
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,720
stared at him, amazed. He went on stroking his chin.

127
00:07:10,519 --> 00:07:12,240
The truth is that when I sent you the pipe,

128
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:17,079
I made a slight omission. And omission I omitted to

129
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:22,240
advise you not to smoke it. And why because well,

130
00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:26,560
I have reason to believe the thing is drugged, drugged

131
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:31,959
or poisoned poison. I was wide awake enough. Then I

132
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:36,720
jumped off the couch with a celerity which proved it.

133
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,120
It is this way I became its owner, in rather

134
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:43,360
a singular manner. He paused as if for me to

135
00:07:43,399 --> 00:07:46,800
make a remark, but I was silent. It is not

136
00:07:46,839 --> 00:07:49,360
often that I smoke a specimen. But for some reason

137
00:07:49,399 --> 00:07:52,199
I did smoke this. I commenced to smoke it. That

138
00:07:52,319 --> 00:07:55,079
is how long I continued to smoke it is more

139
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,519
than I can say. It had on me the same

140
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,000
peculiar effect which it appears to have had on you.

141
00:08:01,079 --> 00:08:03,680
When I recovered consciousness, I was lying on the floor,

142
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:09,959
on the floor, on the floor, and about as uncomfortable

143
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:13,600
a position as you can easily conceive. I was lying

144
00:08:13,639 --> 00:08:16,680
face down, ruth with my legs bent under me. I

145
00:08:16,759 --> 00:08:19,199
was never so surprised in my life as when I

146
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,959
found myself where I was. At first, I supposed that

147
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,519
I had had a stroke, But by degrees it dawned

148
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:28,040
upon me. I didn't feel as though I had had

149
00:08:28,079 --> 00:08:32,159
a stroke. Dress, by the way, has been an army surgeon.

150
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:37,080
I was conscious of distinct nausea. Looking about, I saw

151
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:40,080
the pipe with me. It had fallen on the floor.

152
00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:43,759
I took it for granted, considering the delicacy of the carving,

153
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,039
that the fall had broken it. But when I picked

154
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,320
it up, I found it quite uninjured. While I was

155
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:53,080
examining it, a thought flashed to my brain. Might it

156
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,600
not be answerable for what had happened to me? Suppose,

157
00:08:55,639 --> 00:08:59,600
for instance, it was drugged. I had heard of such things. Besides,

158
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:03,960
in my case were present all the symptoms of drug poisoning.

159
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,039
Though what drug had been used I couldn't in the

160
00:09:06,159 --> 00:09:09,240
least conceive. I resolved that I would give the pipe

161
00:09:09,279 --> 00:09:13,720
another trial, on yourself or on another party, meaning me,

162
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,919
on myself, my dear phew, on myself. At that point

163
00:09:18,919 --> 00:09:21,320
of my investigations, I had not begun to think of you.

164
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:27,000
I lit it up and had another smoke. With what result, well,

165
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,559
that depends on the standpoint from which you regard the

166
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,279
whole thing. From one point of view, the result was

167
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:35,679
wholly satisfactory. I proved that the thing was drugged, and more,

168
00:09:36,879 --> 00:09:41,679
did you have another fall? I did, and something else besides.

169
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,799
On that account, I presume you resolved to pass the

170
00:09:45,799 --> 00:09:49,320
treasure on to me, partly on that account and partly

171
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:54,360
on another. On my word, I appreciate your generosity. You

172
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,399
might have labeled the thing as poison exactly, But then

173
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,279
you must remember how often you have told told me

174
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:05,519
that you never smoke your specimens. That was no reason

175
00:10:05,519 --> 00:10:07,399
why you shouldn't have given me a hint that the

176
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,879
thing was more dangerous than dynamite. That did occur to

177
00:10:10,879 --> 00:10:14,840
me afterwards. Therefore, I called the supply the slight omission.

178
00:10:15,279 --> 00:10:18,360
Slight omission you call it. I wonder what you have

179
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,279
called it if you had found me dead, if I

180
00:10:21,279 --> 00:10:23,840
had known that you intended smoking it, I should not

181
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:27,679
have been at all surprised if I had, really, Tress,

182
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:31,519
I appreciate your kindness more and more. Where is this

183
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,759
example of your splendid benevolence. Have you pocketed it, regretting

184
00:10:35,759 --> 00:10:39,320
your laps in the unaccustomed paths of generosity? Or is

185
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:42,519
it smashed to atoms? Neither the one nor the other.

186
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,039
You will find the pipe upon the table. I neither

187
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,279
desire its restoration, nor is it in any way injured.

188
00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:52,559
It is merely an expression of personal opinion when I

189
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,159
say that I don't believe that it could be injured.

190
00:10:55,960 --> 00:11:00,360
Of course, having discovered its deleterious properties, you will want

191
00:11:00,399 --> 00:11:03,159
to smoke it again. You will therefore be able to

192
00:11:03,279 --> 00:11:06,240
enjoy the consciousness of being the possessor of what I

193
00:11:06,279 --> 00:11:10,279
honestly believe to be the most remarkable pipe in existence.

194
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:14,320
Good day, Peugh. He was gone before I could say

195
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:18,000
a word. I immediately concluded from the precipitancy of his

196
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:21,440
flight that the pipe was injured. But when I subjected

197
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:25,000
it to close examination, I could discover no signs of damage.

198
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,919
While I was still eyeing it with jealous scrutiny, the

199
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:33,519
door reopened and Tress came in again. By the way, Peugh.

200
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,399
There's one thing I might mention, especially as I know

201
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:40,279
it won't make any difference to you. That depends on

202
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,279
what it is. If you have changed your mind and

203
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,519
want the pipe back again, I tell you frankly that

204
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,679
it won't, and my opinion, a thing once given is

205
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:51,120
given for good. Quite so I don't want it back again.

206
00:11:52,159 --> 00:11:54,360
You may make your mind easy on that point. I

207
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,840
merely wanted to tell you why I gave it to you.

208
00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:01,720
You have told me that already, only partly, my dear pew,

209
00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:05,120
only partly. You don't suppose I should have given you

210
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,639
such a pipe as that merely because it happened to

211
00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:11,440
be drugged scarcely. I gave it to you because I discovered,

212
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:19,440
from indisputable evidence, and to my cost, that it was haunted. Haunted, yes, haunted.

213
00:12:20,399 --> 00:12:24,120
Good day. He was gone again. I ran out of

214
00:12:24,159 --> 00:12:26,879
the room and shouted after him down the stairs. He

215
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,320
was already at the bottom of the flight dress. Come back.

216
00:12:30,759 --> 00:12:33,720
What do you mean by talking such nonsense? Of course,

217
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,879
it's only nonsense. We know that sort of thing always

218
00:12:36,919 --> 00:12:39,720
is nonsense. Are you sure to have any reason to

219
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:43,120
suppose that there is something in it. Besides nonsense. You

220
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,440
may think it worth your while to make inquiries of me,

221
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,120
but I won't have that pipe back again in my

222
00:12:48,159 --> 00:12:51,840
possession on any terms. Mind that the bang of the

223
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,879
front door told me that he had gone out into

224
00:12:53,919 --> 00:12:57,080
the street. I let him go, I laughed to myself

225
00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,240
as I re entered the room, haunted. That was not

226
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,559
a bad idea of his. I saw the whole position

227
00:13:02,639 --> 00:13:05,519
at a glance. The truth of the matter was that

228
00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,679
he did regret his generosity, and he was ready to

229
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,159
go to any lengths if he could only succeed in

230
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,679
conjoling me into restoring his gift. He was aware that

231
00:13:14,759 --> 00:13:17,759
I have views upon certain matters which are not wholly

232
00:13:17,799 --> 00:13:20,720
in accordance with those which are popularly supposed to be

233
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:23,639
the views of the day, and particularly that on the

234
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:27,039
question of what are commonly called supernatural visitations, I have

235
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:30,519
a standpoint of my own. Therefore, it was not a

236
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,639
bad move on his part to try to make me

237
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,759
believe that about the pipe on which he knew I

238
00:13:34,759 --> 00:13:37,080
had set my heart, there was something which could not

239
00:13:37,159 --> 00:13:41,080
be accounted for by ordinary laws. Yet, as his own

240
00:13:41,159 --> 00:13:43,480
sense would have told him, it would do if he

241
00:13:43,519 --> 00:13:46,639
had only allowed himself to reflect for a moment. The

242
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,799
move failed because I am not yet so far gone

243
00:13:49,799 --> 00:13:52,840
as to suppose that a pipe a thing of mercham

244
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,879
and amber in the sense in which I understand the word,

245
00:13:56,200 --> 00:14:01,240
could be haunted a pipe a mere pipe. Hoo. I

246
00:14:01,279 --> 00:14:03,720
thought the creature's legs were twined right round the bull.

247
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,240
I was holding the pipe in my hand, regarding it

248
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:09,320
with the affectionate eyes with which a connoisseur does regard

249
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:14,399
a curio. When I induced to make this exclamation, I

250
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,159
was certainly under the impression that when I first took

251
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,879
the pipe out of the box, two, if not three,

252
00:14:19,879 --> 00:14:23,120
of the feelers had been twined about the bull, twined

253
00:14:23,399 --> 00:14:26,879
tightly so that you could not see daylight between them

254
00:14:26,879 --> 00:14:31,200
and it. Now they were almost entirely detached, only the

255
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:35,879
tips touching the mersham, and those particular feelers were gathered up,

256
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,720
as though the creature were in the act of taking

257
00:14:37,759 --> 00:14:41,720
a spring. Of course, I was under a misapprehension the

258
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:45,200
feelers couldn't have been twined a moment before. I should

259
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,000
have been ready to put a thousand to one that

260
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:51,360
they were. Still. One does make mistakes, and very egregious

261
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,399
mistakes at times. At the same time, I confess that

262
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,320
when I saw that dreadful looking animal poised on the

263
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,759
extreme edge of the bowl for all the world, as

264
00:14:59,759 --> 00:15:02,240
though were just going to spring at me, I was

265
00:15:02,279 --> 00:15:06,039
a little started. I remembered that when I was smoking

266
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:08,480
the pipe, I did think I saw the uplifted tentacle

267
00:15:08,519 --> 00:15:11,799
moving as though it were reaching out to me. And

268
00:15:11,879 --> 00:15:14,039
I had a clear recollection that, just as I had

269
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,399
been sinking into that strange state of unconsciousness, I had

270
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,240
been under the impression that the creature was writhing and twisting,

271
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:24,759
as though it had suddenly become instinct with life. Under

272
00:15:24,759 --> 00:15:28,960
the circumstances, these reflections were not pleasant. I wished Trest

273
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,840
had not talked that nonsense about the thing being haunted.

274
00:15:32,879 --> 00:15:34,879
It was surely sufficient to know that it was drugged

275
00:15:34,919 --> 00:15:38,919
and poisonous. Without anything else, I replaced it in the

276
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:43,000
sandalwood box. I locked a box in the cabinet. Quite

277
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,360
apart from the question as to whether that pipe was

278
00:15:45,759 --> 00:15:49,200
or was not haunted, I know what haunted me. It

279
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,360
was with me in a figurative which was worse than

280
00:15:51,399 --> 00:15:55,440
actual since all the day, still worse. It was with

281
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,919
me all the night. It was with me in my dreams.

282
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,840
Such dreams possibly not yet wholly recovered from the effects

283
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:05,399
of that insidious drug. But whether or no, it was

284
00:16:05,559 --> 00:16:07,799
very wrong of trust to set my thoughts into such

285
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,879
a channel. He knows that I am of a highly

286
00:16:10,879 --> 00:16:14,279
imaginative temperament, and that it is easier to get morbid

287
00:16:14,279 --> 00:16:16,559
thoughts into my mind than to get them out again.

288
00:16:17,399 --> 00:16:19,759
Before that night was through, I wished very heartily that

289
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,399
I had never seen the pipe. I awoke from one

290
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,799
nightmare to fall into another. One dreadful dream was with

291
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:28,799
me all the time of a hideous green reptile which

292
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:33,159
advanced toward me out of some awful darkness, slowly inch

293
00:16:33,279 --> 00:16:35,960
by inch, until it clutched me around the neck, and,

294
00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:39,759
gluing its lips to mine, sucked the life's blood out

295
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:43,360
of my veins as it embraced me with a slimy kiss.

296
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:48,399
Such dreams are not RESTful. I woke anything but refreshed

297
00:16:48,399 --> 00:16:51,159
when the morning came, and when I got up and dressed,

298
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,919
I felt that on the whole it would perhaps have

299
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,000
been better if I never had gone to bed. My

300
00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:01,240
nerves were unstrung, and I had that generally tremulous feeling,

301
00:17:01,279 --> 00:17:04,680
which is I believe an inseparable companion of the more

302
00:17:04,759 --> 00:17:09,880
advanced stages of dipsomnia. I ate no breakfast. I am

303
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:13,119
no breakfast eater as a rule, But that morning I

304
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:18,640
had absolutely nothing. If this sort of thing is to continue,

305
00:17:18,799 --> 00:17:21,480
I will let Trust have his pipe again. He may

306
00:17:21,519 --> 00:17:23,960
have the laugh of me, but anything is better than this.

307
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,640
It was with almost funeral foreboding, so that I went

308
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,599
to the cabinet in which I had placed the sandal

309
00:17:31,599 --> 00:17:34,759
wood box. But when I opened it, my feelings of

310
00:17:34,839 --> 00:17:39,119
gloom partially vanished. Of what fantasies had I been guilty?

311
00:17:39,839 --> 00:17:42,599
It must have been entire delusion on my part to

312
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:46,160
suppose those tentacula had ever been twined about the bowl.

313
00:17:47,039 --> 00:17:49,799
The creature was in exactly the same position in which

314
00:17:49,839 --> 00:17:52,680
I had left the day before, As of course I

315
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,640
knew it would be poised as if about to spring.

316
00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,759
I was telling myself how foolish I had been to

317
00:17:58,839 --> 00:18:01,119
allow myself to dwell for a moment on trust His

318
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:06,519
words when Martin Brasher was shown in Brasher is an

319
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:10,240
old friend of mine. We have a common ground ghosts,

320
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,839
only we approach them from different points of view. He

321
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:18,960
takes the scientific, psychological and query side. He's always anxious

322
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,640
to hear of a ghosts that he may have an

323
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:24,640
opportunity of showing it up. I have something in your

324
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,920
line here, I observed, as he came in in my line.

325
00:18:28,039 --> 00:18:32,200
How so I'm not pipe mad, No, but you're ghost mad,

326
00:18:32,599 --> 00:18:36,720
and this is a haunted pipe, a haunted pipe. I

327
00:18:36,759 --> 00:18:39,720
think you're rather more mad about my ghosts, my dear pew,

328
00:18:39,799 --> 00:18:43,839
than I am. Then I told him all about it.

329
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,720
He was deeply interested, especially when I told him that

330
00:18:46,799 --> 00:18:49,759
the pipe was dropped. But when I repeated Truss's words

331
00:18:49,799 --> 00:18:52,920
about its being haunted and mentioned my own delusion about

332
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,559
the creature moving, he took a more serious view of

333
00:18:55,559 --> 00:18:59,160
the case than I had suspected he would do. I

334
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,440
propose that we have on Trust's suggestion, and go and

335
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:06,039
make inquiries of him. But you don't really think that

336
00:19:06,079 --> 00:19:09,400
there is anything in it on these subjects. I never

337
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,440
allow myself to think at all. There are Trust's words,

338
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,839
and there is your story. It's agreed on all hands

339
00:19:15,839 --> 00:19:19,559
that the pipe has peculiar properties. It seems to me

340
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,400
that there is a sufficient case here to merit inquiry,

341
00:19:23,559 --> 00:19:27,319
he persuaded me. I went with him the pipe and

342
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:31,799
the sandalwood box went to trust received us with a grin,

343
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:35,039
a grin which was accentuated when I placed the sandalwood

344
00:19:35,079 --> 00:19:39,559
box on the table. You understand he said that a

345
00:19:39,599 --> 00:19:43,279
gift is a gift on known terms. Will I consent

346
00:19:43,319 --> 00:19:47,680
to receive that pipe back in my possession. I was

347
00:19:47,759 --> 00:19:51,480
rather nettled by his tone. You need be under no alarm.

348
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,480
I have no intention of suggesting anything of the kind.

349
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,799
Our business here, began Brasher. I must own that his

350
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,599
manner is a little p is of a scientific I

351
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:05,319
may say, also, and at the same time of a

352
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:09,920
judicial nature. Our object is the pursuit of truth and

353
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:14,400
the advancement of inquiry. Have you been trying another smoke?

354
00:20:14,599 --> 00:20:19,279
Inquired Tress, nodding his head toward me. Before I had

355
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:23,160
time to answer, Brasher went droning on. Our friend here

356
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,160
tells me that you say this pipe is haunted. I

357
00:20:26,279 --> 00:20:30,319
say it is haunted because it is haunted. I looked

358
00:20:30,319 --> 00:20:33,880
at Truss. I half suspected that he was poking fun

359
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,839
at us, But he appeared to be serious enough in

360
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:41,000
these matters, remarked Brasher, as though he were giving utterance

361
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,039
to a new and important truth. There is a scientific

362
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:49,400
and a non scientific method of inquiry. The scientific method

363
00:20:49,519 --> 00:20:51,960
is to begin at the beginning. I ask how this

364
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:56,519
pipe came into your possession. Tress paused before he answered,

365
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,279
you may ask. He paused again, Oh you, sir, certainly

366
00:21:00,279 --> 00:21:03,200
they may ask. But it doesn't follow that I shall

367
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:08,480
tell you. Surely your object like ours can be. But

368
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:14,119
spreading about of the truth, I don't see it at all.

369
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,759
It is possible to imagine a case in which the

370
00:21:16,799 --> 00:21:20,279
spreading about of the truth might make me look a

371
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:25,880
little awkward. Indeed, Rasher pursed up his lips. Your words

372
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,359
almost lead one to suppose that there was something about

373
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,640
your method of acquiring the pipe which you have good

374
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,359
and weighty reasons for concealing. I don't know why I

375
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:38,359
should conceal the thing from you. I don't suppose either

376
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,160
of you is any better than I am. I don't

377
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,359
mind telling you how I got the pipe. I stole it,

378
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:48,559
stole it. Rasher seemed both amazed and shocked, But I,

379
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,440
who had previous experience of Trest's methods of adding to

380
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:56,279
his collection, was not at all surprised. Some of the

381
00:21:56,279 --> 00:21:59,240
pipes which he calls his. If only the whole truth

382
00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:03,720
about or publicly known, would send him to jail. That's nothing,

383
00:22:03,759 --> 00:22:07,599
he continued, all collector steal. The ethh commandment was not

384
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,359
intended to apply to them. Why Pew there has conveyed

385
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,359
three fourths of the pipe which he flatters himself, are his.

386
00:22:15,599 --> 00:22:17,880
I was so dumbfoundered by the charge that it took

387
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:22,880
my breath away. I sat in an astounded silence. Tress

388
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,400
went raving on. I was so shy of this particular

389
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,440
pipe when I had obtained it that I put it

390
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,880
away for quite three months. I took it out to

391
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,079
have a look at it. Something about the thing so

392
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,440
tickled me that I resolved to smoke it, owing to

393
00:22:37,599 --> 00:22:41,160
peculiar circumstances attending the manner in which the thing came

394
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:45,799
into my possession on which I need not dwell. You

395
00:22:45,839 --> 00:22:48,200
don't like to dwell on those sort of things, do you, Pew.

396
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:52,440
I knew really nothing about the pipe, as was the

397
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,559
gaze with pew. One peculiarity. I learned from actual experience.

398
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,519
It was also from actual experience that I learned that

399
00:22:59,559 --> 00:23:04,000
the thing was well, I said, haunted. But you may

400
00:23:04,079 --> 00:23:08,319
use any other word you like. Tell us as briefly

401
00:23:08,319 --> 00:23:13,160
as possible what it was you really did discover? Take

402
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,079
the pipe out of the box. Brasher took the pipe

403
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,279
out of the box and held it in his hand.

404
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,960
You see that creature on it. Well, when I first

405
00:23:23,039 --> 00:23:26,599
had it, it was underneath the pipe. How do you

406
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,759
mean that it was underneath the pipe? It was bunched

407
00:23:29,759 --> 00:23:33,240
together underneath the stem, just at the end of the mouthpiece,

408
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,599
and the same way in which a fly might be

409
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:39,400
suspended from the ceiling. When I began to smoke the pipe,

410
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:43,200
I saw the creature move, but I thought that unconsciousness

411
00:23:43,279 --> 00:23:47,559
immediately followed. It did follow, but not before I saw

412
00:23:47,599 --> 00:23:51,319
that the thing was moving. It was because I thought

413
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,799
that I had been, in a way a victim of delirium,

414
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,799
that I tried the second smoke, suspecting that the thing

415
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,880
was drugged. I swallowed what I believed would prove a

416
00:24:01,039 --> 00:24:04,720
powerful antidote. It enabled me to resist the influence of

417
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:08,000
the narcotic much longer than before, and while I still

418
00:24:08,039 --> 00:24:11,160
retained my senses, I saw the creature crawl along the

419
00:24:11,279 --> 00:24:14,839
stem and over the bowl. It was that sight, I believe,

420
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:19,119
as much as anything else, which sent me silly. When

421
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,880
I came to I then and there decided to present

422
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,720
the pipe to Pew. There is one more thing, I

423
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:28,000
would remark. When the pipe left me, the creature's legs

424
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:32,839
were twined about the bull. Now they are withdrawn. Possibly, you, Pew,

425
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,200
I able to cap my little story with a little

426
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,880
one which is all your own. I certainly did imagine

427
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,359
that I saw the creature move, but I supposed that

428
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,480
while I was under the influence of the drug, imagination

429
00:24:44,599 --> 00:24:47,480
had played me a trick. Not a bit of it

430
00:24:47,519 --> 00:24:51,200
depend upon it. The beast is bewitched. Even to my eye,

431
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,559
it looks as though it were into a trained eye

432
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,359
like yours, Pew. You've been looking for the devil a

433
00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:00,839
long time, and you've got him at last. Aye, I

434
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:04,400
wish you wouldn't make those remarks, Tress. They jar on me,

435
00:25:06,039 --> 00:25:09,880
I confess, interpolated Brasher. I noticed that he had put

436
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,119
the pipe down on the table, as though he were

437
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:16,039
tired of holding it. That, to my thinking, such remarks

438
00:25:16,079 --> 00:25:19,079
are not appropriate. At the same time, what you have

439
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:23,920
told us is I am bound to allow a little curious,

440
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:28,400
But of course what I require is ocular demonstration. I

441
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:33,119
haven't seen the movement myself. No, what you very soon

442
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,000
will do if you care to have a pull at

443
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,400
the pipe on your own account, do Brasher to oblige me.

444
00:25:38,599 --> 00:25:42,599
There's a dear. It appears then that the movement is

445
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,960
only observable when the pipe is smoked. We have at

446
00:25:46,039 --> 00:25:49,680
least arrived at step number one. Here's a match, Brasher,

447
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:51,799
light it up, and we shall have arrived at step

448
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,200
number two. Dress lit a match and held it out

449
00:25:55,240 --> 00:26:01,200
to Brasher. Brasher retreated from its neighborhood. Thank you, mister Tress.

450
00:26:01,319 --> 00:26:04,079
I am no smoker, as you are aware, and I

451
00:26:04,079 --> 00:26:06,519
have no desire to acquire the art of smoking by

452
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:10,960
means of a poisoned pipe. Dress laughed. He blew out

453
00:26:11,039 --> 00:26:15,079
the match and threw it into the grate. Then I'll

454
00:26:15,079 --> 00:26:18,720
tell you what I'll do. I'll have up Bob Bob.

455
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:24,039
Why Bob Bob? Whose real name was Robert Haines, though

456
00:26:24,039 --> 00:26:26,279
I should think he must have forgotten the fact, so

457
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:30,640
seldom was he addressed by It was Trest's servant. He

458
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:34,000
had been an old soldier and had accompanied his master

459
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:37,079
when he left the service. He was as depraved a

460
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,440
character as Tress himself. I am not sure even that

461
00:26:40,519 --> 00:26:43,440
he was not worse than his master. I shall never

462
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:47,519
forget how he once behaved toward myself. He actually had

463
00:26:47,519 --> 00:26:50,519
the assurance to accuse me of attempting to steal though

464
00:26:50,599 --> 00:26:54,440
ardur Street relic, which Trest fondly deludes himself, was once

465
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:58,279
the property of Sir Walter Raleigh. The truth is that

466
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:01,839
I had slipped it with my handkerchief into my pocket

467
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,720
in a fit of absence of mind. A man who

468
00:27:04,759 --> 00:27:07,160
could accuse me of such a thing would be guilty

469
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:10,559
of anything. I was therefore quite at one with Brasher

470
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,559
when he explained what Bob could possibly be wanted for.

471
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:19,440
Tress explained, I'll get him to smoke the pipe, he said.

472
00:27:19,799 --> 00:27:23,240
Brasher and I exchanged glances, but we refrained from speech.

473
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,319
It won't do him any harm, said Tress. What not

474
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:31,640
a poisoned pipe, asked Brasher. It's not poisoned. It's only drugged.

475
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:36,519
Only drugged. Nothing hurts Bob. He is like an ostrich.

476
00:27:37,039 --> 00:27:40,359
He has digestive organs which are peculiarly his own. It

477
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,279
will only serve him as it served me, and Pew,

478
00:27:44,039 --> 00:27:46,839
it will knock him over. It is all done in

479
00:27:46,839 --> 00:27:49,519
the pursuit of truth and for the advancement of inquiry.

480
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,680
I could see that Brasher did not altogether like the

481
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,759
tone in which Tress repeated his words. As for me,

482
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,599
it was not to be supposed that I should put

483
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,160
myself out in a matter which in no way concerned me.

484
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,759
If Trust chose to poison the man, it was his affair,

485
00:28:05,839 --> 00:28:08,920
not mine. He went to the door and shouted, Bob,

486
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:12,440
come here, you scoundrel. That is the way in which

487
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,839
he speaks to him. No really decent servant would stand it.

488
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:19,119
I shouldn't care to address an alder my servant in

489
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,640
such a way. He would give me notice. On the spot.

490
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,200
Bob came in. He is a great, hulking fellow who

491
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,880
is always on the grin. Tress had a decanter of

492
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,640
brandy in his hand. He filled a tumbler with a

493
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:34,960
neat spirit. Bob, what would you say to a glassful

494
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:39,000
of brandy? The real thing, my boy? Thank you, sir.

495
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,480
And what would you say to a pull at a

496
00:28:42,519 --> 00:28:47,480
pipe when the brandy is drunk? A pipe? The fellow

497
00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:49,759
is sharp enough when he likes I saw him look

498
00:28:49,799 --> 00:28:52,640
at the pipe upon the table, and then at us,

499
00:28:53,279 --> 00:28:55,960
and then a gleam of intelligence came into his eyes.

500
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,920
I'd do it for a dollar, sir, A dollar, you thief.

501
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:05,720
I meant ten shillings, sir, ten shillings, you brazen vagabond.

502
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,880
I should have said a pound. A pound was ever

503
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,319
the like of that? Do I understand you to ask

504
00:29:12,359 --> 00:29:14,839
a pound for taking a pull at your master's pipe.

505
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,319
I'm thinking that I'll have to make it too. The

506
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:23,039
deuce you are here, Pew, lend me a pound. I'm

507
00:29:23,079 --> 00:29:27,720
afraid I've left my purse behind. Then lend me ten shillings, aneneus,

508
00:29:28,359 --> 00:29:31,440
I doubt if I have more than five. Then give

509
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,680
me the five, and Brasher lend me the other fifteen.

510
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,559
Brasher lent him the fifteen. I doubt if we shall

511
00:29:38,559 --> 00:29:41,480
either of us ever see our money again. He handed

512
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,000
the pound to Bob. Here's the brandy. Drink it up.

513
00:29:45,799 --> 00:29:48,279
Bob drank it without a word, draining the glass of

514
00:29:48,359 --> 00:29:54,839
every drop. And here's the pipe. Is it poisoned, sir? Poisoned?

515
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:58,319
You villain? What do you mean? It isn't the first

516
00:29:58,319 --> 00:30:01,359
time I've seen your tricks, sir? Is it now? And

517
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,279
you're not the one to give a pound for nothing

518
00:30:03,279 --> 00:30:05,799
at all? If it kills me, you'll send my body

519
00:30:05,839 --> 00:30:08,160
to my mother. She'd like to know I was dead.

520
00:30:09,519 --> 00:30:12,519
Send your body to your grandmother, you idiot. Sit down

521
00:30:12,559 --> 00:30:17,000
and smoke Bob sat down. Dress had filled the pipe

522
00:30:17,039 --> 00:30:19,839
and handed it with a lighted match to Bob. The

523
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,680
fellow declined the match. He handled the pipe there gingerly,

524
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,960
turning it over and over, eyeing it with his eyes.

525
00:30:27,759 --> 00:30:30,359
Thank you, sir. I'll light it up myself. If it's

526
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,039
the same to you, I carry matches of my own.

527
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,160
It's a beautiful pipe entirely. I never see the likes

528
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:40,039
of it for ugliness. And what's the slimy looking enviroment

529
00:30:40,119 --> 00:30:42,160
that looks as though it would like to have my life?

530
00:30:43,039 --> 00:30:46,480
Is it living or is it dead? Come? We don't

531
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,200
want to sit here all day, my man. Well, sir,

532
00:30:49,759 --> 00:30:51,799
the look of this here pipe has quite upset in

533
00:30:51,799 --> 00:30:54,519
my stomach. And I'd like another drop of liquor, if

534
00:30:54,559 --> 00:31:00,400
it's the same to you, another drop? Why she tumblr

535
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,240
full already? Here's another tumblerfull to put on top of that.

536
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,920
You won't want the pipe to kill you. You'll be

537
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,279
killed before you get to it. And isn't it better

538
00:31:09,359 --> 00:31:13,119
to die a natural death? Bob emptied the second tumbler

539
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,720
of brandy as though it were water. I believe he

540
00:31:15,759 --> 00:31:18,720
would empty a hogshead without turning a hair. Then he

541
00:31:18,759 --> 00:31:22,400
gave another look at the pipe, then taking a match

542
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:26,559
from his waistcoast pocket. He drew a long breath, as

543
00:31:26,599 --> 00:31:30,680
though he were resigning himself to fate, striking the match

544
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:34,519
on the seat of his trousers while shaded by his hand.

545
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,200
The flame was gathering strength. He looked at each of

546
00:31:37,279 --> 00:31:40,519
us in turn. When he looked at Tress, I distinctly

547
00:31:40,559 --> 00:31:43,599
saw him wink his eye. What my feelings would have

548
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,599
been if a servant of mine had winked his eye

549
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:49,160
at me, I'm unable to imagine. The match was applied

550
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,640
to the tobacco, a puff of smoke came through his lips.

551
00:31:53,599 --> 00:31:58,200
The pipe was light During this process of lighting the pipe,

552
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,720
we had sat. I do not wish to use exaggerated language,

553
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,519
but we had sat and watched that alcoholic scamp's proceedings

554
00:32:05,559 --> 00:32:08,359
as though we were witnessing in action which would leave

555
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:12,480
its mark upon the age. When we saw the pipe

556
00:32:12,599 --> 00:32:17,559
was lighted, we gave a simultaneous start. Brasher put his

557
00:32:17,599 --> 00:32:20,599
hands under his coattails and gave a kind of hop.

558
00:32:21,559 --> 00:32:24,039
I raised myself a good six inches from my chair,

559
00:32:25,039 --> 00:32:28,319
and Tress rubbed his palms together with a chuckle. Bob

560
00:32:28,359 --> 00:32:33,279
alone was calm, now, cried Tress. You'll see the devil moving.

561
00:32:34,559 --> 00:32:37,599
Bob took the pipe from between his lips. See what

562
00:32:37,839 --> 00:32:41,119
he said, Bob, you rascal. Put that pipe back into

563
00:32:41,119 --> 00:32:44,160
your mouth and smoke it for your life. Bob was

564
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,960
eyeing the pipe. Askance, I daresay, But what I want

565
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,160
to know is whether this here Varmint's dead or whether

566
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,319
he isn't. I don't want to have him flying at

567
00:32:52,319 --> 00:32:56,519
my nose, and he looks vicious enough for anything. Give

568
00:32:56,599 --> 00:32:58,680
me back that pound, you thief, and get out of

569
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,440
my house and bundle. I ain't going to give you

570
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:05,799
back no pound. Then smoke that pipe. I am smokin it,

571
00:33:05,839 --> 00:33:10,039
ain't I. With the utmost deliberation, Bob returned the pipe

572
00:33:10,039 --> 00:33:13,599
to his mouth. He admitted another with or two of smoke.

573
00:33:14,599 --> 00:33:18,000
Now now cried Tress, all excitement and wagging his hand

574
00:33:18,039 --> 00:33:21,000
in the air. We gathered round. As we did so,

575
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,519
Bob again withdrew the pipe. What is the meaning of

576
00:33:24,559 --> 00:33:26,720
all this here? I ain't goin to have you playin

577
00:33:26,759 --> 00:33:29,440
none of your larks on me. I know there's somethin up,

578
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,079
but I ain't goin to throw my life away for

579
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:35,640
twenty shillings. Not quite I ain't dress whose temper is

580
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,240
not at any time one of the best was seized

581
00:33:38,279 --> 00:33:42,400
with quite a spasm of rage. As I live, my lad,

582
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,400
if you try to cheat me by taking that pipe

583
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,000
from between your lips until I tell you you leave

584
00:33:47,039 --> 00:33:49,640
this room that instant never again to be a servant

585
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:53,559
of mine. I presume the fellow knew from long experience

586
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,559
when his master meant what he said, and when he didn't.

587
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:01,400
Without an attempt at remonstrance, he replaced the pie. He

588
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:05,279
continued stolidly to puff away dress. Caught me by the arm.

589
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,239
What did I tell you there? There? That tentacle is moving.

590
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:14,519
The uplifted tentacle was moving. It was doing what I

591
00:34:14,519 --> 00:34:18,000
had seen it do as I supposed in my distorted imagination.

592
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:23,320
It was reaching forward. Undoubtedly Bob saw what it was doing.

593
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:27,000
But whether in obedience to his master's commands or whether

594
00:34:27,039 --> 00:34:30,639
because the drug was already beginning to take effect, he

595
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:34,679
made no movement to withdraw the pipe. He watched the

596
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:39,119
slowly advancing tentacle coming closer and closer toward his nose,

597
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:43,440
with an expression of such intense horror on his countenance

598
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:48,320
that it became quite shocking. Farther and farther. The creature

599
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:52,280
reached forward, until on a sudden, with a sort of jerk,

600
00:34:53,159 --> 00:34:56,159
the movement assumed a downward direction, and the tentacle was

601
00:34:56,199 --> 00:34:59,079
slowly lowered until the tip rested on the stem of

602
00:34:59,119 --> 00:35:03,360
the pipe. For a moment, the creature remained motionless. I

603
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,119
was quieting my nerves with the reflection that this thing

604
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:09,159
was but some trick of the carver's art, and that

605
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,400
what we had seen we had seen in a sort

606
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:15,880
of nightmare. When the whole hideous reptile was seized with

607
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,800
what seemed to be a fit of convulsive shuddering, it

608
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:23,239
seemed to be in agony. It trembled so violently that

609
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,199
I expected to see it loosen its hold of the

610
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:28,800
stem and fall to the ground. I was sufficiently mastered

611
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,800
myself to steal a glance at Bob. We had had

612
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:35,239
an inkling of what might happen. He was wholly unprepared

613
00:35:36,039 --> 00:35:39,679
as he saw that dreadful, human looking creature coming to life,

614
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,599
as it seemed within an inch or two of his nose.

615
00:35:43,119 --> 00:35:46,719
His eyes dilated to twice their usual size. I hoped

616
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:50,760
for his sake that unconsciousness would supervene through the action

617
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:54,400
of the drug before, through sheer fright, his senses left him.

618
00:35:54,880 --> 00:36:00,519
Perhaps mechanically, he puffed steadily on. The creature shuddered, became

619
00:36:00,599 --> 00:36:04,400
more violent. It appeared to swell before our eyes. Then,

620
00:36:04,599 --> 00:36:09,280
just as suddenly as it began, the shuddering ceased. There

621
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:13,599
was another instant of questions. Then the creature began to

622
00:36:13,679 --> 00:36:17,039
crawl along the stem of the pipe. It moved with

623
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,880
marvelous caution, the merest fraction of an inch at a time,

624
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:25,199
but still it moved. Our eyes were riveted on it

625
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:31,239
with a fascination which was absolutely nauseous. I am unpleasantly affected,

626
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,000
even as I think of it now. My dreams of

627
00:36:34,039 --> 00:36:39,840
the night before I had been nothing to this. Slowly, slowly,

628
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:44,239
it went nearer and nearer to the smoker's nose. Its

629
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:48,599
mode of progression was in the highest degree unsightly. It glided,

630
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:52,280
never so far as I could see, removing its tentacles

631
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,639
from the stem of the pipe. It slipped its hindmost

632
00:36:55,639 --> 00:36:58,239
feelers onward until they came up to those which were

633
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:02,079
in advance. Then in their turn it advanced those which

634
00:37:02,119 --> 00:37:05,920
were in front. It seemed, too to move with the

635
00:37:06,119 --> 00:37:12,360
utmost labor, shuddering, as though it were in pain. We

636
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:16,599
were all, for our parts speechless. I was momentarily hoping

637
00:37:16,639 --> 00:37:19,880
that the drug would take effect on Bob, either his

638
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,760
constitution enabled him to offer a strong resistance to narcotics,

639
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,360
or else the large quantity of neat spirit which he

640
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:31,199
had drunk acted as Tress had malevantly intended that it

641
00:37:31,199 --> 00:37:35,559
should as an antidote. It seemed to me that he

642
00:37:35,599 --> 00:37:40,800
would never succumb. On with the creature on and on

643
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:46,400
in its infinitesimal progression, I was spellbound. I would have

644
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:48,719
given the world to scream, to have been able to

645
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,199
utter a sound. I could do nothing else but watch.

646
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,199
The creature had reached the end of the stem. It

647
00:37:56,199 --> 00:37:59,719
had gained the amber mouthpiece. It was within an inch

648
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:05,159
of the smoker's nose. Still on it went. It seemed

649
00:38:05,199 --> 00:38:08,559
to move with greater freedom. On the amber. It increased

650
00:38:08,599 --> 00:38:12,280
its rate of progress. It was actually touching the foremost

651
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:16,119
feature of the smoker's countenance. I expected to see it

652
00:38:16,119 --> 00:38:19,480
grip the wretched Bob. When it began to oscillate from

653
00:38:19,519 --> 00:38:25,320
side to side, its oscillations increased in violence. It fell

654
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:30,719
to the floor that same instant. The narcotic prevailed. Bob

655
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,559
slipped sideways from the chair, the pipe still head tightly

656
00:38:33,599 --> 00:38:39,280
between his rooted jaws. We were silent. There lay Bob

657
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:44,320
close beside him, lay the creature. A few more inches

658
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,599
to the left, and he would have fallen on and

659
00:38:46,679 --> 00:38:51,199
squashed it flat. It had fallen on its back. Its

660
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:55,039
feelers were extended upward. They were writhing and twisting and

661
00:38:55,119 --> 00:38:59,800
turning in the air. Tress was the first to speak,

662
00:39:01,199 --> 00:39:05,000
I think a little brandy won't be a miss. Emptying

663
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:08,440
the remainder of the brandy into a glass, he swallowed

664
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:12,440
it at a drop. Now for a closer examination of

665
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,480
our friend. Taking a pair of tongs from the grate,

666
00:39:15,559 --> 00:39:19,440
he nipped the creature between them. He deposited upon the table.

667
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,920
I rather fancy that this is a case for dissection.

668
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:27,159
He took a pen knife from his waistcoat pocket. Opening

669
00:39:27,199 --> 00:39:30,079
the large blade, he thrust its point into the object

670
00:39:30,079 --> 00:39:33,519
on the table. Little or no resistance seemed to be

671
00:39:33,559 --> 00:39:36,320
offered to the passage of the blade, But as it

672
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:40,400
was inserted, the tentaculus simultaneously began to writhe and twist.

673
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:45,199
Tressed withdrew the knife, I thought, so. He held a

674
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:48,320
blade out for our inspection. The point was covered with

675
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:55,079
some viscid looking matter. That's blood. The thing's alive, alive, alive,

676
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:59,760
that's the secret of the whole performance. But but me, no,

677
00:40:00,079 --> 00:40:04,000
but my pew, the mysteries exploded. One more ghost is

678
00:40:04,039 --> 00:40:07,840
lost to the world. The person from whom I obtained

679
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:11,880
that pipe was an Indian juggler, up to many tricks

680
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:16,119
of the trade. He or someone for him, got hold

681
00:40:16,159 --> 00:40:19,079
of the sweet thing and reptiles and a sweeter thing

682
00:40:19,119 --> 00:40:22,400
would I imagine be hard to find, and covered it

683
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:26,719
with some preparation of possibly gum arabic. He allowed this

684
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:30,519
to harden. Then he stuck the thing, still living, for

685
00:40:30,599 --> 00:40:33,840
those sort of gentry are hard to kill, to the pipe.

686
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,719
The consequence was that when anyone lit up, the warmth

687
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:42,360
was communicated to the adhesive agent. Again some preparation of

688
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:46,159
gum no doubt it moistened it, and the creature, with

689
00:40:46,679 --> 00:40:50,360
infinite difficulty, was able to move. But I am open

690
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,840
to lay odds with any gentleman of the sporting tastes

691
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:57,760
that this time the creature's traveling days are done. It

692
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,960
has given me rather a larger taste of the horror

693
00:41:00,199 --> 00:41:03,519
than is good for my digestion. With the aid of

694
00:41:03,519 --> 00:41:06,079
the tongs. He removed the creature from the table. He

695
00:41:06,159 --> 00:41:09,840
placed it on the hearth. Before Brasher or I had

696
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:12,199
any notion of what it was he intended to do,

697
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:15,599
he covered it with a heavy marble paper weight. Then

698
00:41:15,599 --> 00:41:17,960
he stood upon the weight, and between the marble and

699
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:22,320
the hearth, he ground the creature flat. While the execution

700
00:41:22,519 --> 00:41:27,719
was still proceeding, Bob sat up upon the floor. HULLO, Yes,

701
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:32,840
what's happened. We've emptied the bottle, Bob, said Tress. But

702
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:36,159
there's another where that came from. Perhaps you could drink

703
00:41:36,159 --> 00:41:44,440
another tumberful, my boy, Bob drank it. Footnote, These gentry

704
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,880
are hard to kill. Here is fact, not fantasy. Lizard

705
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,599
yarns no less sensational than this mystery story can be

706
00:41:50,599 --> 00:41:55,480
found between the covers of solemn zoological textbooks. Reptiles, indeed,

707
00:41:55,519 --> 00:41:58,079
are far from finicky in the matters of air space

708
00:41:58,119 --> 00:42:02,239
and especially Warmthugs and other such sluggish blooded creatures have

709
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,440
lived after being frozen fast in ice. Their blood is

710
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:08,320
little warmer than air or water, enjoying no extra casing

711
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:11,719
of fur or feathers. Air and food seem held in

712
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:15,559
light esteem by lizards. Their blood need not be highly oxygenated,

713
00:42:15,679 --> 00:42:19,280
it nourishes just as well when impure. In temperate climes,

714
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,639
lizards lie torpid and buried all winter. Some species of

715
00:42:22,679 --> 00:42:27,559
the tropic deserts sleep peacefully all summer. Their anatomy includes

716
00:42:27,599 --> 00:42:30,920
no means for the continuous introduction and expulsion of air.

717
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:35,480
Reptilian lungs are little more than closed sacs without cell structure.

718
00:42:36,679 --> 00:42:40,000
If any further zoological fact were needed to verify the

719
00:42:40,039 --> 00:42:43,400
denowment of the pipe, it might be the general statement

720
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:47,880
that lizards are abnormal broats. Anyhow, consider the chameleons of

721
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,519
unsettled hue, and what is one to think of an

722
00:42:50,559 --> 00:42:54,039
animal which, when captured by the tail, is able to

723
00:42:54,039 --> 00:42:58,199
make its escape by wilfully shuffling off that appendage. Editor

