Speaker 1: Filet of beef with warm white bean salad. Rounds this
meal of a half a spring roll and half a
filet and white beans. It's a beautiful dinner. Okay, eleven
pots the gas go down. We do a fucking tie
lobster spring roll and then go into a tuscan white
bean and beef dish. There's no cohesion. It makes zero
fucking sense. Ben is on perkoson Hi Lo, Welcome to
another brands banking new episode of bad TV. I'm dyling.
Speaker 2: That's pet permission to come aboard.
Speaker 1: Kaylan is here. Hello. Like I told you, listen, We're
not going to get into this too much, but Kaylan
is in the throes of a really, really sick addiction
to something called Boulder's Gate three. Now, this is a
drug that I've pedaled to many people, and I'm starting
to feel the effects of guilt because Kaylin has turned
into a shell of himself. I mean, he's a father
and he's not operating at a high clip right now.
Speaker 3: I'm that right, Kaylen, Oh, I've pretty much ignored my
two children for the past three days in time.
Speaker 1: I mean, think about that.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm gonna call what's that called? Show called intervention. Yeah,
they can get that girl off huffing. Yeah, they can
help this young one.
Speaker 1: What's the show where the guy eats He eats like
couch cushions, like he eats like like stuffing.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's a thing.
Speaker 4: It's my strange addiction.
Speaker 1: My strange addiction. Is that? What that is?
Speaker 2: How about that chick that was in love with a bridge?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, is that real?
Speaker 2: I think so?
Speaker 1: Well, we've got and are you doing? Okay? You you
got the PlayStation out of the house.
Speaker 3: Had to remove my gaming console from my home because
it got so bad.
Speaker 4: So I'm okay, now.
Speaker 2: You know what you should do. Try taking up drinking.
Speaker 1: I mean you can laugh about it, but if you
thought about it.
Speaker 4: I have, and I why already drink so I wouldn't.
Speaker 2: I got a dealer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's got a options out there. I'm just saying, Yeah,
he can get you a fucking incredible price on Buzzball's big,
big giant Buzzballs pen. He's on the dollar. Yeah, but
it's only a licorice version. It's a fire sale. Let's
get into below deck. Okay, did you get to multi
class at all?
Speaker 4: Or are you just I didn't get there? I had
to cut it off before.
Speaker 1: The kid hasn't even put a point into Paladini. I mean,
it's crazy.
Speaker 2: Video games are a waste of time.
Speaker 1: No, they're not. They're a fun way to unwind, but
they can be a problem. I told him when he started,
I fell asleep sitting up playing that game. It is
a problem. I didn't have a child at that point,
but still do you ever?
Speaker 2: Of course you haven't read Gene simmons first book about
don't unless you've made your first hundred thousand, don't take
a weekend off.
Speaker 1: Gene Simmons. Jeans Simmons of Kiss wrote a book about money,
about Money, and I always remember that.
Speaker 2: Line, unless you have your first thousand, one hundred thousand,
don't take a weekend off.
Speaker 1: You know, It's like, just because you're a jew doesn't
mean you get to write a book on finance. Right.
You were in Kiss? Okay, Kiss, Kiss. That's not how
we talked. Let's get into below deck. We have Annette
and her polo husband joining the show. More importantly, give
me an H, give me an A, give me a T,
give me an E. Right. But more importantly, what we
have the Balkan Biscuit balcon Biscuit is back.
Speaker 2: Let's give your thoughts and knots there.
Speaker 1: Dell PSAs. Oh yeah, speaking of the Balkan Biscuit, Kaylen,
I got to get the crat con from you. You
have it, okay, Yeah, we got to get the crat Con.
I think we'll drop that exclusively for the ten.
Speaker 2: Doll They need no five dollars. Come on, give it
to them.
Speaker 1: They get too much. They get too much.
Speaker 2: But I'm trying to sell the five dollars tier because
we've had so many new patrons come in. I want
to show them how generous we are.
Speaker 1: We'll talk about it. I want to be a little
tyrannical and say, if you want Sea ret Con, upgrade
to see rat Con, but we'll talk about it off Mike. Yeah,
I shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 2: At the five dollar tier. Yeah, we have Love is
Blind and I cannot tell you how much fun we
are having with that. Oh my god, I think we
just laid down our best two episodes we probably ever
laid down. People are in our feed telling us how
hilarious it is. Yeah, so it broke there. I guess
their Achilles heel. Yeah, great to listen to the episode.
I hope she's okay.
Speaker 1: I miss Katie. Katie and I did sketches together. We
were at the UCB together in the early odds. But anyways, Yeah,
people are really loving it, and so are we. I feel,
of course, we can't really replicate the magic of Winehack
that was. That was a dazed and confused, just salad
day of bliss, but I think this gets like fairly close.
I'm having such a good time with this season, and
I actually think that it's a really really good thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, as I've commented on the podcast, there is a
girl there. Her name is bree She just nicknamed herself Breezy.
She her voice, everything that comes out of her mouth
is so nauseating. I have recommended that she can only
date a man that's hearing impaired.
Speaker 1: Uh huh for sure. And also, you know, I'm not
saying that Breezy should be eliminated from contention for everyone
when thinking of a nickname, but it is kind of
calling and referencing a man with a whalecock who had
beaten the shit out of multiple women. I mean, he's
immensely talented. I'm not trying to take that away from him,
but you know, maybe we'll go with a different name
also Traders.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh my god. By the way, if
you want to learn how to play Traders, and I
think we have a friend of the show, Fraser, who
may in fact be a content on there, I will
call Fraser and I will give him my three rules
of winning Traders.
Speaker 1: And his name's Fraser.
Speaker 2: Fraser. That's what I said. That's what I said.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: That's how close we are. I know, I know uh
and I know how to win, and I have predicted
pretty much every single episode what will happen. So if
you wanted some insight on the game Traders so that
you can go to a cocktail party and brag how
good you are by stealing my thoughts, listen to our
coverage of that.
Speaker 1: Okay, what are you doing with the board over there?
Speaker 4: I was just lowering past levels a little bit.
Speaker 2: Oh too loud? I'm excited.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, let's get into the episode. And you
can find all that at Patreon dot com slash another
podcast network. I tried to change the RL. Somebody has
Patreon dot com slash bad TV, wouldn't you know? Can
you find them and hurt them? Sure? That is a
producer right, that's a producer. Okay, the old Klin would
have said, no, that's a good point. He's lying about that.
That's what he's learned to say. Yes me, no.
Speaker 2: Gosh, the strides he's growing.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get into it. My thoughts and pots middling,
episode sixty pots. But I want to say a Net
is just the worst. A Net is one of these
people that, because of the gilded hallways, you've kind of
forgotten how to operate just regularly. And by that I
mean trying to you. You can't figure out how to
eat a strip of bacon because you're you're so wealthy. Right,
I've never.
Speaker 2: Seen a person try and eat a piece of bacon
with a fork, You dumb ass.
Speaker 1: Right, she's a dumb ass, also, Ben, I'm.
Speaker 2: Can we go back to the bacon thing.
Speaker 1: There are things that you do for forty milt.
Speaker 2: Okay, because there are utensils, that does not mean that
you're are now rendered. They don't have to work anymore, right, exactly. Okay,
you use a four to give your husband a blowjob,
You use your fingers pick up the dead swine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's certain in your bihole, right, right.
Speaker 2: I don't like a net either, and she does this
thing that I can't stand. Yeah, yeah, which is that
something's impacting an entire group of people. We're all feeling it.
There's nothing we can do about it, right, but she
feels the need to vocalize.
Speaker 1: It right, right, right, And forget vocalizing it. I feel
as though you may be speaking of the heat.
Speaker 2: That's correct.
Speaker 1: Forget vocalizing. Let's lay on the ground and pretend like
emergent services are on their way because I'm on the
brink of death, that is right. Cannot stand this, I can't.
Speaker 2: But oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and that you know
what I just talked to God. He just handed me
the thermometer.
Speaker 5: Let me let me.
Speaker 1: It's called a thermometer.
Speaker 2: Dear pat, it's coming down. It's called a thermometer. Thank
you God. Let me turn it down for this annoying.
Speaker 1: Which yeah, yeah. And that she has that welcome, that
dolorous umbridge cadence where it gets kind of high and
it's just pure evil. Ben, I know we've got that.
Speaker 2: Let's call him has been. He is so sad, he
is so sad. I cannot think of him other than
being has been.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I'm kind of having fun with his
double dragon of pots and thoughts. I think we should
just do this all.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm I'm Did that come.
Speaker 1: Off as passive aggressive? Because I didn't mean it to be.
I really enjoyed the double dragon.
Speaker 2: No, but I'm stepping all over your thoughts and notts?
Speaker 1: Has been has been better because he is Well, we're
talking about pairs and bombing runs. We're losing focus, right,
you know I burnt my hand on a stove a
couple of weeks ago. Oh really, I was bombed when
I was eight years old. What is going on? And
that kids? So anyways, Yeah, At one point, he's asking
this Bosnian beauty who's never really I don't know if
she can make a peeb and ja what they should
do for lunch. He has no idea what's going on.
He's late for everything. It's confusing. And then we get
to Daisy, who I don't mind bad managers. I mind
bad managers who try to gas lit light people into
thinking they're good. That's and those usually come hand in hand.
But Daisy is just so frustrating to watch. He's not
a bad person or anything like that. Just if I
was to work in a professional environment with her, I
would just be like, get me the fuck out of here. Anyways,
sty Pods thought it.
Speaker 2: Was okay, Okay, I am liking this season so far.
Forgive me, Daisy. Perhaps you're a nice person, but I
love how you've been shoved aside as far as storylines,
only because I've had enough of you. With Sailing. She
was the focal point, which I'd argue destroyed that franchise. Well,
Gary's sexual assault, I know, but she couldn't help herself
but get in the way of just being the focus
of everything. Was wherever the cameras were. She was making
out with the guy, where the camera was facing.
Speaker 1: There was a tri force of destruction on that show,
and we're a little bit precious about it because we
loved that was our favorite iteration of this show. The
knives were flying, it was parsnips, the captain was a
tiny little serial killer, and there was everything about it
that we loved. Gary, Colin and Daisy. They that Trinity
destroyed that franchise.
Speaker 2: It's really and now she's here and she's been sidelined. Yeah,
thank god. Okay, I'm having a lot of fun, mainly
because of the drama in the kitchen, and I welcome
the Balkan Biscuit. I welcome now. I went online and
I saw there were mixed review reviews about the Balkan
Biscuit being back. Okay, okay, this is what I'm going
to say, no matter your personal well, they were like, ah,
she's back again. I don't want her back, We've had
enough her, blah blah blah blah. Okay, let me tell
you something. She's a good TV and she's good for
one reason, and it's kind of touched upon in the episode.
She's fucking Russian and there's not well, she's kind of
from that same all right, same fucking area. It's a
culture that has frozen their balls off for their entire lives,
and they spent a lot of time under the thumb
of some little dictator. Okay, that makes you, in your
inner soul a furious person.
Speaker 1: You know, I got no fucking idea. What what Bosnia
and Hrtzegovnia and that you've got Serbia and Mona Negro.
I don't.
Speaker 2: It's a bunch of miserable, fucking white people that are
runk on vodka and want to kill each other for something.
Speaker 1: And get us, get us in the comments, and let
us know, give us your phenomena on what actually happened
historically in that reagion, because we actually have no idea.
Speaker 2: Here's my point. Okay, Ben has meant his match with
her in that galley. Okay, Oh, she has been sent
here by Satan himself to make his life.
Speaker 1: Hell, you're talking about the bringer of light?
Speaker 2: That is it?
Speaker 1: All right? Now?
Speaker 2: And I am here for it? Now? Where is Alicia?
So I can get some burnt popcorn? This is actually
an edible great? Okay, Okay, what else do I like here? Nothing?
But it was a decent episode of fourteen Pots.
Speaker 1: Okay, past code, Okay, God, here we go. All right.
So we've got a new sus chef. Her name will
be degraded to assistant chef.
Speaker 2: I kind of think su chef is more uh low level.
I don't think I think assistant is more low level.
I think Sue is.
Speaker 1: That's what its intention was. But I think all of
the galley hand is for sure the most disgusting. I mean,
that's that's right. You're just swasher, You're you're smoking, You're
covered in fish scales, fish guts, fish shit. That's what
I think of a galley hand, you know, but she's
an assistant chef now when.
Speaker 2: Ill sorry forgive me, but when I was a big
fan of Iron Chef. You know, the the Iron Chefs
always had two sus.
Speaker 1: Did you watch the Japanese version or just the early
American Me? Neither? Yeah, me neither.
Speaker 2: And I always enjoyed it. And I always thought the
Sue chefs were just as good and probably own their
own restaurants. That was the level of their cooking.
Speaker 1: You know. The thing that really made me a little
peeved what when I was a young boy, And thank
you for asking. What when I was a young boy
and I would watch the television program I was throwing
for a loop. How could they be this inventive with
a mystery ingredient? And then I learned that this whole
mystery ingredient it was a total sham. It was. It
was a total sham.
Speaker 2: Can I give you the.
Speaker 1: Dry ice and the cornacopeia and the pageantry of it all,
it meant nothing. It was a complete construct.
Speaker 2: Now I want to help the audience out because I
did a deep dive on this. To be fair, they
only had three hours with the secret ingredient to figure
it out. So there was three hours, which seems reasonable
if you're gonna actually make something decent. If you're going
to make a cocktail out of tuna fish, you need
three hours. Okay, Oh you can't make that on the fly.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, right. Bobby Flay's sous chef, Yeah, she
passed away.
Speaker 2: No, that was not his sou chef. That was Cora.
Speaker 1: Oh that was Cora's shoes sus chef, Anna Burrell, Anna Burrell. Yeah,
what do you get the toxicology on her?
Speaker 2: Uh? Yeah, she committed suicide.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, can you just flag that real quick, you know,
because I really thought that you were going to go
the route that to be fair to me, And I'm
actually a little upset right now. Every person who's dead
you find a scroll of explicit materials in their blade.
Speaker 2: They just set a lot of pills on the floor.
I'm sorry. Okay, I didn't get a list. It just
set a lot of pills.
Speaker 1: Okay, got it. So when Jason asked Ellie, can you cook?
She said, of course not And he said that's perfect.
But Ben now has someone who has literally zero experience.
Alicia had some experience. She'd spent a season in the
galley with Serena, and it just goes to show you that,
like we love Serena, she's a little nutty. We are
all a little nutty. But at least Alesia made it
through a season with her Ben. And I'm not going
to put it all on Ben. Alicia's got some demons
because she went with alopecia in Canada to ski and
you know and stuff. You know, I should lay off
the alopecia so he might have alopecia. So what I
wish I was more smooth skinned? I mean, come on, right, Dyl, Well, fuck.
Speaker 2: Here's the other thing. A lot of people and I
don't think I have thick enough skin for this. Working
in a kitchen, you have to have a tough, thick
skin to deal with people like Ben. Yeah, you gotta
just let it go right through you, because I don't know,
I don't know how people get away with this, but
they just for some reason in kitchens, they feel like
they can just call you an idiot.
Speaker 1: There's this thing in kitchens where there are a lot
of holdovers from.
Speaker 2: The years seventies and eighties, more.
Speaker 1: Aggressive management and procedure. But so many of them, especially
the really famous ones have recognized a need to saw
and that it's fucking insane to talk to people the
way that people did in kitchens. Ben has not really
learned that lesson, because I don't want to get too
deep into it. But he's just, you know, not that nice.
Alisha now moves to the interior, but he's I don't know.
Alicia's moving to the interior, and Mikey is hoping that
this means he can see the sunlight. Lol.
Speaker 2: Mikey, Yeah, yeah, this is great. Yeah. He dreams of
being a decie breathing the fresh air. So of course
he's only happy to have Alicia join the crew, and
he quickly deems their relationship a Batman and Robin type
of relationship. As Batman, he will rid Gotham of crime,
and as Robin, Alisha will clear the shower dreams of
human fudd.
Speaker 1: Remember, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do, I do, and human
fudge is disgusting.
Speaker 2: I'd rather be out there fighting crime.
Speaker 1: Uh, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, can you. I mean it's
a headache. It's a headache dangling people off of buildings
and ship.
Speaker 2: It's like, I can you imagine Robin those staring down.
Speaker 1: At a dream I know, but it's not forever. Robin
gets to kick back, you know, just got to clean
up some fudge and then kick back. Ben and Ellie
start off strong. He's laying it on thick. Ellie. Should
we talk about her fashion really quickly? Oh?
Speaker 2: Go ahead?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Ellie is very beautiful fashion also looks like a
bit of a stripper just in this moment. And and
what that means is that Ben is torqued. He's completely torqued.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, so okay. So Ellie tells us.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been cuddled?
Speaker 2: Babe?
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2: Just Ellie tells us that Ben, you know, before the season,
had hit her up in her d MS. You know, yeah,
and he told her he was a fan of her photos.
Now let's translate that into English language that we can
all understand. He was telling her he wanted to have
sex with you. Okay, uh? And I must say this.
I'm shocked at his lack of tact at this juncture.
This is how old Patty would do this, and you'd
get the same you probably get some better results. How
is your season, Ellie?
Speaker 1: Are you saying this is what you d m her?
Speaker 2: That's what I DM. Okay, okay, and then she was
really good. And then you go, h, so, do you
know so and so? Or blow and blow you know
whoever you know you know, And then you go, if
you ever want to talk smack about production, you know
that you know who's was sucked. Let's grab drinks right
way better the fact that Ben is like, I love
your photos, but man.
Speaker 1: He is a has been okay.
Speaker 2: So oh, by the way, Juau just then pops in
the galley. Yeah, I wonder what he's up to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, he pops in there. But it was equally
more confusing, like I don't know what what this was
where Ben was like you see a sweaty man from
Afrikaans or wherever the fuck he's Zimbabwe or whatever. If
you see that guy and he's all sweaty, that's Juel.
He's a good man, one of my close friends and
a captain. And is what are you doing? Are you
trying to have sex with this girl? Like you don't
know that guy.
Speaker 2: Guys have that tendency they think forming a bond with
another guy shows it's the oddest behavior I've ever seen
in the wild. It really is. Yeah, by the way,
I have a bet. First night out, Juwau makes a
move on Ellie.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah. So Jenna and Alicia talk about.
Speaker 2: Bos yeah well they also they talk about maintaining a
relationship in this industry known as yachting. Right. I haven't
thought about this. This is tough, and you just gotta
if you're dating someone that's a sea rod.
Speaker 1: Am I too leisurely today? Is this too? Is this too?
Speaker 2: You wear this kind of outfit all the time, very comfortable.
It's called like podcast comfort.
Speaker 1: How would you describe these pants?
Speaker 2: Were you're wearing sliders with white sox sliders and then
these like looks like workout yoga pants or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. It's kind of a
mad Matt scrambled to get out of the house and
we've just done laundry and the jeans every pair. We're
at the bottom of the bin. I didn't have time
to just looney tunes. I didn't want to looney tunes
all the clothes, so I threw on these joggers. I
do feel a little bit more pilates than podcast right now,
and I just wanted to make sure that you're not
thrown off by it.
Speaker 2: I never am. Okay, you know, I don't judge. That's
why I can't understand why my wife doesn't like me.
I'm like a really nice guy.
Speaker 1: You know. Yeah. I love marital trauma non sequitors. They're
my favorite.
Speaker 2: Okay, Oh yeah, I was back to this, Oh yeah,
maintaining a sea rat relationship. Like I'm on land and
I'm dating someone on a sea rat, Like you can't
trust them. So I got to thinking, you might as
well just chalk it up to like you're dating a
porn star. They're gonna do what they're gonna do. You
just need to accept the lifestyle. So when they come home,
you just go, hey, honey, how is your day on
the porn set? And then she comes up and say, well, mad,
I think my sphincter's prolapse and my face feels like
a glazed don't it. But on that it's page. And
then you go, well, honey, give you a massage?
Speaker 1: So crazy?
Speaker 2: No, you just you gotta accept it.
Speaker 1: It's a little nuts from you. I gotta say, you know,
I had a acquaintance in high school. You actually married
a porn.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I've I've seen her, yeah.
Speaker 1: Close to her in the lobby of an l A
fitness and they're divorced.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I saw a video of her having a
good chuckle. I'm not gonna say other than her doing
an interview having a good chuckle situation. She got into you.
Speaker 1: It's fascinating, it's fascinating.
Speaker 2: She was a real looker.
Speaker 1: Okay, can you flag that? Okay, Ellie and Benn are
doing really well. The two of them are chatting away
about fucking skiing and mayonnaise and shit, and meanwhile the
polo people are en route to the boat. In fact,
they've already arrived as the sea rats are scrambling to
get upstairs. Now, this is something that we haven't seen.
I'm not sure for a long time you've never seen this.
Let's not understate just how incompetent this current crop of
sea rats is. But tool doesn't understand English, and we'll
get to it. I don't falter, but she simply doesn't
know what's going on.
Speaker 2: Well, everyone speaks English on this boat, and I fucking
need subtitles right exactly. But back to Ben. Yeah, first off,
you're talking about has been has been. There's two people
are going to say we're being too hard on him. Uh,
There's two things going on with Ben. One is he
thinks he's too good for this show, so he's really
not paying attention. Second, he is really fucking off, really
off his game. So those two things going together, that's
going to really hurt.
Speaker 1: Him this season, right, right, So the j Man is
very very upset, and Ben says, you know, sorry, we're relate,
and he says, don't let him. Oh no, no, no. J
Man says to the pol up people, sorry, we're relate,
and he says, don't let it happen again. Now, this
is one of these kind of it's this rage filled
joke that the nouveau riche can deliver, and it's just
I don't like the vibe of you. I want you
to either be quiet about it and then try to
frame me for tax evasion or something, or just get
over it. Right. It's you know, am I making sense?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: I don't know what no you are. What I'm saying is,
I don't know what this is called. But human beings
some do this, and I'll give you an example of it.
It's like when someone makes a joke at your expense
and they lie to you, Like someone walks the room
and they go You're like, am I late? And you go, yeah,
you're late. Actually we lost the account Bart and he's like,
we lost the account, yes, and it's all your fault.
Can't hang. Everything's great people that do that to you
to give you trauma for four seconds, although you and
Kate Casey did that to me a year ago. You
fucking assholes.
Speaker 1: Went oh oh when we.
Speaker 2: Joked that she was pissed at me because I had
to leave baby.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that was funny. But we did a podcast
with Kay Casey and Pat had an emergency in the
middle of the podcast he had to go pick up Ellie,
and when we ended the episode, Kate and I had
agreed that I was going to tell Patrick that she
was never going to speak to us again, and she
did a really good job playing along.
Speaker 2: But my point is there, you guys weren't doing that.
You would just have fun. But there is with this
particular charter guest, a sense of control by having to
say that. I could never say that to these people
because I would like how it went through there because
Ben clearly it bothered him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it bothered him, and it bothered the j Man too,
because the Jay Man is really not happy he tells Ben,
you have to get your shit together, don't let that
happen again. And we should say that like, this needs
to be treated with a certain amount of severity, because
we do not see this on this show often, as
incommonan as these people are, we just do not see this.
It's kind of crazy. So the guests drink their preferred
welcome beverage, which is it's some kind of Shirley Temple mimosa.
It looked like trash and a fluide because these people
are trash. So the Virgin is having a tough time
understanding the various polluted tongues of the vestible Naboo.
Speaker 2: Yes, she doesn't know what she's doing.
Speaker 1: Well, she doesn't know what she's doing, but then she's
also being spoken to in Afrey Kahn's and fucking scouse
here in Australian, here, in Essex. Here. She just has
no clue what's going on.
Speaker 2: Sorry, may I interject myself here? Naboo is a very
nice person, but casting.
Speaker 1: Well, Naboo is a planet from Star Wars.
Speaker 2: Right, what are we doing here? She is perfectly lovely,
but we dealt with this and I'm addressing casting directly. Yeah,
haven't you learned your lesson from the last season of sailing,
which is no more. By the way, a guy named
davidil he was fucking dead waight dead fucking wait remember
Oh yeah, there's only so many spots for sea rats
on a vessel till the whos far making isn't holding
a nation spellbound. I'm sorry, I like her so.
Speaker 1: Much, but no, yeah, you're talking about like getting back
to Balderskate.
Speaker 2: We can't.
Speaker 1: We can't have anyone in the party not really serving
any use. Right, You've got to do something, whether it's healing. Listen,
I'm not a healer. I think it's kind of boring,
but we need you. But tools not healing anybody. She
doesn't understand anything. Okay, she's she's from Turkey. She doesn't
get this. But yeah, I don't see her engaging in
any smut with anyone. I don't really. I see her
getting fired. I see her getting fired. And and we'll
get to the meeting with Captain Jason, but more beforehand,
more on that five. So Ben realizes that these guys
have standards, and it was good to see Ben recognize
that he had just the luckiest first charter of all time.
With these these drug bitches who were just screaming at
each other the entire time. They did not care about
his food. These people will now who has a Jua
and Daisy have a conversation about Mike and Joel. I'm
just gonna keep tacking some meanwhiles. Well when Daisy, I
want to pay close attention to the monopolization of labor
each and every episode. Now, to her credit, you we'll
let him go for a five minute reprimanding later on
in the episode. But that's about it. Juao asks her,
I'm gonna need mikey at some point, right because he's
been just cleaning shit for the past three days, and
she goes, yea one hundred percent whenever you need Yeah, okay,
all right. So the primary with the eyelashes a net.
She has a moment where she needs a straw. I
don't know if I'm getting too granular here.
Speaker 5: You are.
Speaker 2: Actually what you should focus in on, Dyll is the
fact that she is able to notice the difference between
freshly squeezed grapefruit juice and store bought grapefruit juice.
Speaker 1: Who couldn't I would.
Speaker 2: Notice a detail like that, But I'm a filthy, fucking
norm know you would, and but she's the kind of
person that when you have time to ride a horse
and hit a ball with a fucking mallet, you have
time to notice those small details. Yeah, so that's a
lot of time for good our bad, for good or bad.
But anyway, when you when I try to guest asks
you to present the ingredients of said drink to you.
Speaker 1: Yes, you might be fucked. Well, here's the thing and
we can drop the You know, we're always kind of
like manipulated by people that come on to our podcast
and talk about this being the best vacation ever. We've
talked numerous guests who have said, oh, this was awesome.
We would do it in a heartbeat. The people that
are serving you do not know how to make bloody Mary's. Okay,
let's stop with the whole one of the best vacations ever.
Think this woman asks for the ingredients to be brought out. Now,
Luckily Daisy jumped in and helped Jenna with the construction
of the bloody Mary. But we're left up to Jenna.
She would have no idea what was going on. She
would have had to google it and made a pretty
shitty bloody Mary. But Annette asking for the ingredients. It
reminded me a little bit of like that person that
I can't remember if it was Ellie, but they were
making a dackerie and it was purple or something like that.
Annette says, this tastes sweet. I'm tasting something sweet, and
then she brings out one of the most savory ingredients
in the culinary world, that being Worcestershire sauce, and she says, Oh,
that's it, That's what I was tasting. Annett missed me
with the bullshit. Okay, anyways, that was too long a run.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, Hayley, friend of the show The
Red Witch. She told me while we were out drinking,
I go, do you know how to bartend? Like you're
making trace that now? I just made that ship up.
Speaker 1: So we get a great talk with Ben and Ellie.
He says, when I was in kitchens, I had pants
thrown at me. She said, when I was eight, I
had bombs dropped on me. She wins, lunch is I
believe first a No, it is sir, tuna with an
udon salad and tarioky chicken. Annette, again, stuffy little rat, says,
this is not really my cup of tea, and then
we get to the scallop cake, which she's again not
a fan of. She's more a fan of them in
their raw form. She's not a fan of a she's
not a fan of a cake. Now she's a stuffy
little rat. But I do I do agree with I
was gonna say, let's let's let's not try to reinvent
the wheel. Okay, let's just do a scallops of each.
Let's not make a fucking fritter, right Ben, unless they
were frozen and brought up to room deep then chop
them up and yeah, what do you think? Okay? So,
but Toole has a chat with Jason, wherein I got
to give it to Jason? I mean, Pat, you know,
this reminds me a little bit of that time when
I was a younger man, not and not not young
by any stretch of the imagination, but younger. I think
I remember this, Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I just broke
down in tears in front of Pat. I didn't even
know Pat, and I was like, did.
Speaker 2: I hold you?
Speaker 1: You didn't hold me, but you were like, uh, it's
gonna be all right, You're gonna be okay.
Speaker 2: Well, I also, I believe we were there was something
with a with a coworker of ours that was he
had been bestowed with some some very flattering.
Speaker 1: Brands.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you were taken aback by it because it
was absurd and and I comfort you by saying what
was just said in there was absolutely insane, right, So
don't worry.
Speaker 1: So it has a similar energy to what Jason is
staring down with batool a ka naboo. Here, Jason, after
hearing her frustrations with the uh the job, recognizes almost
instantaneously there's a lot going on here. There's a lot
of baggage here, and I want to make this a
home for her.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, Dell, And it actually triggers a little c
rat history, right, and you know what, Let's just say
this old Patty ain't touching that motherfucking one with a.
Speaker 1: Ten foot Who's who's the rat history?
Speaker 2: Buttool?
Speaker 1: Buttool?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna be very kind here. And let's uh,
let's uh just let Patty say I have given a
score to a person whose dad was murdered while she
was doing a fifth grade play at school. Uh huh,
And I ain't going for this one. Let's just say
her family sucks.
Speaker 1: One point Oh okay, sorry, I'm not sure if I
didn't get all this year history. Her father told her
she has to be a virgin, and then he has
three wives.
Speaker 2: Oh, she gets into mom laugh. Dad abused her. Her
entire family was abusive and suppressed her ability to thrive
and existence.
Speaker 1: She ran away.
Speaker 2: I can't even I can't.
Speaker 1: Let's do a one point five for that. You want
to get you know what, You're right, that's I mean,
I mean, fucking you know. You want to go to
certain parts of the world. I mean, grime a river.
I mean, that's what's happening the time. I mean, all right,
so anyways, we go see turtles. They came here for
the turtles. To be fair to them, these turtles are
so beautiful they are.
Speaker 2: How about them stingrays?
Speaker 1: Though I don't like a sting ray like a turtle.
I mean I love a turtle me too.
Speaker 2: Why did you bring up this sting because they're serial killers?
Speaker 1: You know, you mean to say that there's one stingray
that kills old Steve Rwin that is still.
Speaker 2: A foot he's still out there.
Speaker 1: Okay, to be fair to him. What was his name, Greg?
Speaker 2: His name was Jeff, Jeff a guy who talked to
him after tried to talk him down off the ledge.
If there's edges and water, He was like, did you
just kill that guy? Jeff? Yeah, and he's like, yeah
I did. He was fucking with me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2: He said you could get in trouble, Jeff, right right,
he said you should get out of here.
Speaker 1: To be fair to to Jeff, I don't think it's
fair to call him a serial killer.
Speaker 2: That's true. Serial killers kill multiple assholes that bug you and.
Speaker 1: Grab onto your not even assholes, just innocent women.
Speaker 2: True.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Jeff's still out there though, be careful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jeff plays it off like I was panicked and
he was messing with me. Jeff had been waiting to
do that. Jeff wanted to warned him.
Speaker 2: He said, Steve knock off. Steve didn't listen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Steve said hardly croaky. This one speaks English.
Speaker 2: Fuck croaky. Hey stopped me.
Speaker 4: In the hall.
Speaker 2: And then Greg's like, Jeff, you just Jeff, okay anyway.
Speaker 1: Yes, before we have all right, so, uh so one
of the guests almost dies.
Speaker 2: It's important to do this with which this is reported,
how it's uh the and the.
Speaker 1: Emergency effort is so so the way this report this
reported would be Kaylin. If Kaitlyn lost an episode, he
would tell us that he lost an episode the same
exact way that Joao says. We all most killed somebody.
Speaker 2: Literally, guys, what's up? Kaylin? Hey man, you know I
was gonna upload the episode and then you know it
somehow I'm.
Speaker 1: Not sure what happened. The card got infected anyway, a
new day and then we would go listen. I mean,
we got to be careful. I mean, just nobody. Let's
make sure that doesn't happen again. Someone almost died. And
to be fair to to to the gang, Mikey has
been imprisoned. He's been turned into a Smiegel like character
by Daisy. And this lunatic was also she just followed
a sting ray. These people don't know about currents. They're
polo people. That's why you don't go on the ocean,
because you don't know what kind of network of destruction
is happening underneath the surface, be it animals or weather.
Speaker 2: And we've heard of vacation spot in Mexico where they
don't tell the tourists like, hey, this fucking little area here, Yeah,
kills like five people a summer.
Speaker 1: You want to talk about Mona Zuma's revenge. That's the
fucking revenge right there. Goddamn colonize her. You think you're
gonna come over here and just have a good time,
have a mango margarita. Absolutely not, You're gonna die.
Speaker 2: I think that's a movie plot. Let me work on that.
Speaker 1: I'll let you. Yeah, thanks, Okay. So we get to Liz,
who is clicks away. Juau is not happy because Mike
is not cut out for this, but they'll we'll talk
about that later. We get some sea rat history with Eddie.
I mean this was I mean, Pat, please do your
worst here, because Eddie sea rat history is came from
a great family. I really respect my father and I'm
just trying to emulate him.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeah, let me get into that. Let me
see if I can find Oh yeah, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, just unacceptable.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah okay, oh yeah yeah, oh yeah, there wasn't okay.
It's pretty short as far as sea rat history goes.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you covered most of
the beats. Sure, his mom loved his dad, dad loved mom.
They loved each other. No drugs, no physical abuse, no cheating.
Speaker 1: No elephant bones really anywhere.
Speaker 2: But it does beg the question, yep, why is he
so fucking goofy looking?
Speaker 1: Right, No, that's not the question it begs. I mean,
he's not goofy looking, he's handsome, he's got a goofy
gallop to him. He's a goofy guy.
Speaker 2: But well, he needs to find a new place to
get his hair cut, and not a place where they
use a bowl as a guide to cut his hair.
Or he needs to find a barber shop where the
staff isn't blind. Okay, I mean he's goofy looking.
Speaker 1: Are you talking about Mikey or are you talking about Eddie?
Speaker 2: No, his hair is a whole other story. Okay, Eddie,
he's goofy looking. His hair is horrible.
Speaker 1: No, No, his hair, he is a normal haircut.
Speaker 2: Well, it's well normal, so I'm not this podcaster.
Speaker 1: But also, let's just go back a little bit, because
the success of a domestic partnership really has no bearing
on the genetic delivery to the next generation, right right, Okay.
Speaker 2: What I'm saying is his life was so good, yeah,
that he's off Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, there's something very dark afoot. There's Something Really? Really?
What was that movie with Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer, Oh,
What Lies Beneath Something? Hey?
Speaker 2: By the way, if you guys haven't seen that movie,
check it out tonight and do not read anything about it.
Just watched the movie.
Speaker 1: Great movie, loved it. Phenomenal movie. I love a movie
that culminates with a car chase. Be it What Lies
Beneath be it Girl with a Dragon tattoo?
Speaker 2: I love that movie too.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Do you know they made a sequel to that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I didn't see it. All right, let's just end
the I don't even feel like that. Let's just end it. Okay,
No more, you don't get to know what we think
of it. I'm kidding.
Speaker 2: So I do want to talk about Ben for a second,
because you did skip over.
Speaker 1: A part where no, no, I didn't.
Speaker 2: You didn't know. What are you going to say?
Speaker 1: We could talk about Ben if you want.
Speaker 2: I think he tells Jenna that her legs are hot.
Speaker 1: Yeah he does.
Speaker 2: Okay, you have any feelings on that?
Speaker 1: Just that it's okay because Jenna has been very very
forward with him. But if she wasn't open to it,
creepy Okay? Yeah, do you have any thoughts on it.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I do. He is in really old guy
creepy territory, oh man, And I want to let Ben
has Ben know this? Ben, you're creepy, uh, and don't
feel bad about it because we're calling you creepy. Leo
is way more fucking successful than you. He's rich and
he actually has talent. He's creepy and we consider him creepy, right,
So you being who you? Yeah, it's even more sad.
Speaker 1: I love Nikki Glazer's bit at the Golden Globe. She
made fun of Leah dating a you know, twenty five
year old or whatever. Everybody laughs and you know, you're
thinking everybody's made that same entire joke, and then she
just goes, we don't know anything about it, Okay, tell
us something about you otherwise we just have to keep
doing this. You know, It's okay. So we move on
to Alisha purring at Eddie. I don't know what's worse.
The male version of this ends in emptiness as well,
but there's been a physical transaction that takes place. So
so what Alisha's doing is purring and dancing, sexy and
flirting all with a boyfriend in Canada. Now I feel
like this is this kind of flirtation, this advanced what
is it called advanced in tern gation technique? Is that
what we were waterboarding people?
Speaker 2: I don't know, let's call it an how to teach
guys how to get.
Speaker 1: Laid right exactly. So in an advanced flirtation tactic is
what Alicia's doing. It's tormentative and she doesn't have any
real intention right now of doing anything. So that's like
kind of the female version of it. The male version
of it is to express all of these things with
the sole intent of only taking a pound of flesh
and then completely departing. You just leave. I'm not sure
which one's worst, but they're both tormentative and wrong to do.
I mean, we've just got to cleaned it up out
there in the jungle of love. Let's just be honest.
Speaker 2: Well, right, What's sad about this is how simple a
lot of human beings are, Eddie ignore. On the first
two nights out, she will be trying to stick her
tongue down your throat. I'm sorry, no, no, No's how weak
we are as human beings.
Speaker 1: And this is why Simon and Schuster and Penguin Random
House are at.
Speaker 2: War with my book. Yes, how to close more ass
for less money?
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, exactly.
Speaker 2: You know they actually, you know, Dylan, I didn't tell
you this. We had a meeting last week. They said, Pat,
what do you think about this?
Speaker 1: Just chew on this?
Speaker 2: How about closing ass for no money?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I said, don't that makes me sound cheap.
Speaker 1: I'm sure they brought up these trying times in the
economy and stuff like that, but I'm glad you stuck
to your guns. Okay, so we're rapping up the episode here.
We mentioned that he reports it to Captain j Man.
But anyways, tonight is the Polo and Pearls dinner. A
touch of elegance to their favorite hobby is what is requested,
the breath sheet. So, with these guests being very demanding
and all of the service being abysmally bad of late.
Also one of them almost died, Daisy goes to Alisha
and Jenna, I don't care what you do his fucking
I'm gonna go fucking. I don't know what they was doing.
I have three hours.
Speaker 2: This is absurd. When she comes back and has an
employee review about the set up. Yeah, by the way,
did you not like I assume the preference sheet had
laid out what the decorations were for what party.
Speaker 1: Perhaps they didn't, but perhaps they did. Regardless of Regardless
of that, Daisy says, I'm not gonna micro manage you.
Then goes upstairs and sees that the sea rats have
adorned the deck with blow up horses, just all fucking
orgying over on one side of the table. And how
could you It looks disgusting? How could you think anything
else was going to happen?
Speaker 2: Mike's new to this, Jenna is kind of green.
Speaker 1: Alicia just came from Ben's.
Speaker 2: What else would you think?
Speaker 1: Ugh? Daisy, God damn triggers me. Okay, so Ben is
all over the place. The first course is a lobster
spring roll with a tide dressing, and it's running behind already.
But luckily Ellie is there to help him because despite
it being his kitchen, he has no idea where anything is.
Speaker 2: Well, I know, but she brings structure Dylan because she's
overcome disorganization on account of her dodging bombs being dropped off.
Speaker 1: Yep, exactly. Now Joel has a chat with the exterior
after dinner or in the middle of dinner. He says, guys,
we could have killed somebody out there today, and Mikey says,
fucking get off my back. Was dude, like I just
got hired. Bro, it's like fucking died.
Speaker 2: You know who would have lost their license? J not Mikey.
Mikey would not be responsible.
Speaker 1: Would have lost his license. Jason Production would have gotten fucked.
And Mike He's like, dude, fucking layoff filet of beef
with warm white bean salad. Rounds this meal of a
half a spring roll and half a filet and white beans.
It's a beautiful dinner. Okay, eleven pots, the gas go down,
We do a fucking tie lobster spring roll and then
go into a Tuscan white bean and beef dish. There's
no cohesion. It makes zero fucking sense. Ben is on percoset,
all right. The guess go down and Daisy has a
chat with everyone. This is Mikey's second dressing down of
the evening. She starts in with her horrible management, no communication.
She basically says, I set these standards for you that
were unsaid, so how dare you not meet said unsaid standards?
Just lunatic stuff. And we get to the next morning.
Next morning, Jenna is very forward. She's a fireplug man
with that mars accent. I really love Jenna and doesn't
know how to eat bacon.
Speaker 2: Okay, Oh, she needs a she needs a new fork
or something.
Speaker 1: This fork's not sharp enough for this bacon.
Speaker 2: Wouldn't you like to see her try and give a
blowjob with forks?
Speaker 1: I don't want to see her do anything sexual. Don't
actually do those fucking lady bug lashes.
Speaker 2: God damn, she is kind of annoying, kind of We
get to the.
Speaker 1: Beach and this is where things really just take a
catastrophic turn. Nothing is set up. It's too hot out.
Annetta is on the verge of death. The only thing
that can save her is a new swimming suit, because
if she is able to have the new swimming suit,
will not need a thermomen this oppressive heat will be
completely fine. And it's almost as if it's not the
heat it's the problem. It's that her demands are not
being met the way she wants them to be met.
Speaker 2: I would argue, get in the fucking ocean, you bunch
of complainers. Get in the oh shot, here's.
Speaker 1: An amazing thing. Where do you go to the beach
when it's hot out, it's because you can cool it
out of the water. That's right.
Speaker 2: Have you ever heard of a movie called The Trigger Effect?
It's interesting. It's Kyle McLaughlin.
Speaker 1: And it's about how speaking of the Twin Peaks fame.
Speaker 2: Yes, And the premise of the movie is they can
be just some weird movie, maybe a car accident that
gets you to take a turn to avoid it that
somehow sends you on a trajectory that day of going
somewhere you never would have been.
Speaker 1: Amy smart. It's Ashton Coocher. It's the Butterfly.
Speaker 2: Butterfly right, fine, Yeah, by a Nette sending this boat
back to do this. Little did she know this would
fuck up all the rest of the service.
Speaker 1: Because what happens is that Eddie is there. He grabs
the suit, but figures they're going to eat soon, so
he's gonna get the food as well. But the food
is late, so the swimming suit is even more late.
And what is blue velvet even about?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: And get in the comments.
Speaker 2: Let us stop telling me that it's a masterpiece, because
I don't think it is, because everything else that that
man created is unwatchable. It really is okay.
Speaker 1: Get in the comments. Let us know your favorite David
Lynch movie.
Speaker 2: Name one if you can, Dune Dune Dune.
Speaker 1: Join us Patreon dot com, Slash another podcast network for traders.
Love is Blind see rat Con dropping soon. We love
you guys very much. Five stars. Kind Wortz. Join us
in the Facebook groups. Mix it up with the other Barnacles.
I was banned for hate speech, but Pat's still there.
Speaker 2: I'm still there.
Speaker 1: Until then I'm Dylan saying about it. Pat, say goodbye.
Speaker 5: My guy's killstandest stings, sting, instant.
Speaker 3: Instincts, the
Speaker 2: Distinct