Speaker 1: Light on good manners and refinement more upward, working out
the beast and let the ape and tiger die. All
culture is getting away from the beast. Evolution is a
refining process, and the unwritten laws of society are inherent
in the evolutionary law. Education is intellectual culture. The scholar
is engaged in purifying and perfecting his intellect. The spiritual
devotee is engaged in purifying and perfecting his heart. When
a man aspires to nobler heights of achievement and sets
about the realization of his ideal, he commences to refine
his nature. And the more pure man makes himself within,
the more refined, gracious, and gentle will be his outward demeanor.
Good manners have an ethical basis and cannot be divorced
from religion. To be ill mannered is to be imperfect,
for what are ill manners? But the outward expression of
inward defects what a man does that he is. If
he acts rudely, he is a rude man. If he
acts foolishly, he is a foolish man. If he acts gently,
he is a gentleman. It is a mistake to suppose
that a man can have a gentle and refined mind
behind a rough and brutal exterior, though such a man
may possess some strong animal virtues, as the outer is
an expression of the inner. One of the steps in
the noble eightfold path to perfection, as expounded by Buddha,
is right conduct or good behavior. It should be plain
to all that the man who has not yet learned
how to conduct himself toward others in a kindly, gracious,
and unselfish spirit has not entered the pathway of the
holy life. If a man refines his heart, he will
refine his behavior. If he refines his behavior, it will
help to refine his heart. To be coarse, brutish, and
snappish may be natural to the beast. But the man
who aspires to be an even or endurable member of society,
not to mention the higher manhood, will at once purge
away any such beastial traits that may possess him. All
these things which aid in man's refinement, such as music, painting, poetry, manners,
are servants and messengers of progress. Man degrades himself when
he imitates the brute. Let us not mistake in barbarism
for simplicity or vulgarity for honesty, unselfishness, kindliness, and consideration
for others will always be manifested outwardly as gentleness, graciousness,
and refinement. To affect these graces by stimulating them may
seem to succeed, but it does not. Affection and hypocrisy
are soon divulged. Every man's eye sooner or later pierces
through their flimsiness, and ultimately none but the actors of
them are deceived. As Emerson says, what is done for
effect is seen to be done for effect, and what
is done for love is felt to be done for love.
Children who are well bred are taught always to consider
the happiness of others before their own, to offer others
the most comfortable seat, the choicest fruit, the best tidbit,
and so on, and also to do everything, even the
most trivial acts, in the right way. And these two things,
unselfishness and right action, are at the basis not only
of good manners, but of all ethics, religion, and true living.
They represent power and skill. The selfish man is weak
and unskillful in his actions. Unselfishness is the right way
of thinking, are the right way of acting, as Emerson
again says there is always a way of doing everything,
if it be to boil an egg. Manners are the
happy way of doing things right. It is a frequent
error among men to imagine that the higher life is
an ideal, something quite above and apart from the common
details of life, and that to neglect these, or to
perform them in a slovenly manner, is an indication that
the mind is preoccupied on higher things, whereas it is
an indication that the mind is becoming inexact, dreamy and
weak instead of exact, wide, awake and strong. No matter
how apparently trivial the thing is which has to be done,
there is a right way of doing it, And to
do it in the right way saves friction, time and trouble,
conserves power, and develops grace, skill and happiness. The artisan
has a variety of tools with which to ply his
particular crime, and is taught and also finds by experience
that each tool must be applied to its special use,
and never under any circumstances must one tool be made
to do the service for another. By using every tool
in its proper place and the right way, the maximum
of dexterity and power is attained. Should a boy learning
a trade refuse instruction and persist in using the tools
in his own way, making one tool do service for another,
he would never become anything better than a clumsy bungler,
and would be a failure in his trade. It is
the same throughout the whole life. If a man opens
himself to receive instruction and studies how to do everything
rightly and lawfully, he becomes a strong, skillful, and wise
master of himself, his thoughts and actions. But if he
persists in following his momentary impulses and doing everything as
he feels prompted, not exercising thoughtfulness and rejecting instruction, such
a man will attain to nothing better than a slovenly
and bungling life. Confucius paid the strictest attention to dress,
eating deportment, passing speech, to all the so called trivialities
of life, as well as to the momentous affairs of state,
and the lofty moral principles which he expounded. He taught
his disciples that it is a sign of a vulgar
and foolish mind to regard anything as trivial that is
necessary to be done, that the wise man pays attention
to all his duties, and does everything wisely, thoughtfully, and rightly.
It is not an arbitrary edict of society that the
man who persists in eating with his knife be rejected,
for a knife is given to cut with, and a
fork to eat with, and to put things to wrong,
and slovenly uses even in the passing details of life.
Life does not make for progress, but is retrogressive and
makes for confusion. It is not a despotic condition in
the law of things that so long as a man
persists in thinking and acting unkindly toward others, he shall
be shut out from heaven. He shall remain in the
outer pain and unrest, For selfishness is disruption and disorder.
The universe is sustained by exactness. It rests on order.
It demands right doing. And the searcher of wisdom will
watch all his ways. He will think purely, speak gently,
and act graciously, refining his entire nature both in the
letter and the spirit.