Speaker 1: Welcome to today's episode of the Breakthrough Lab. At your
Speaker 1: next Breakthrough starts here today, I have a returning guess.
Speaker 1: I think. I think it's my first returning guest and
Speaker 1: the first time around. She was a big hit social
Speaker 1: media influencer, remarkable woman who was hurt by the masculine
Speaker 1: energy and decided to run to it and created the
Speaker 1: social media following defending men and just exploring masculinity online.
Speaker 1: And her following is like four and a half million
Speaker 1: across three different platforms, and ninety percent are men, if
Speaker 1: you can believe that. But today we're going to explore
Speaker 1: her healing journey, the things that she's had to heal,
Speaker 1: how she's become this super powerful human being and now
Speaker 1: dedicating her time to heal others, couples, males, females, and
Speaker 1: transforming the space and the field around herself to be
Speaker 1: able to take people to the other side, from people
Speaker 1: that are in the dark to creating a space where
Speaker 1: they can come and see the light. Today, we welcome
Speaker 1: to the Breakthrough Lab again. Bella and Estrosa of Yosoi
Speaker 1: Bella so Bella. We're back here at the Breakthrough Lab.
Speaker 1: Thank you again. Lots of changes lots of changes, lots
Speaker 1: of transformation, lots of I don't know, so much has
Speaker 1: happened between the last episode back in May and now
Speaker 1: and so welcome again to the Break to Lab. Let
Speaker 1: me get a little high five here boom. I love
Speaker 1: the bright colors on you. You look so beautiful.
Speaker 2: What a beautiful introduction you. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I mean, like it's all you I could say,
Speaker 1: I could maybe spend another hour introducing you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been a beautiful journey this couple of months.
Speaker 2: I think I don't know when healing ends. It seems
Speaker 2: like there is so many layers of things, and I
Speaker 2: have been thinking lately, what a journey I chose man.
Speaker 1: Yes, big journey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you definitely have. You know,
Speaker 1: the journey of you being a human being on planet
Speaker 1: Earth has been quite remarkable. And the more I get
Speaker 1: to know you personally, the more I find out all
Speaker 1: these things that you've been through and how daring, how
Speaker 1: amazing it is that you've decided to dedicate your time
Speaker 1: to help others see the other side. You know what
Speaker 1: that other side is, the light right from the darkness.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so it's kind of hard to start somewhere
Speaker 1: we start with a child. Let's start with the child, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I mean that's kind of where everything goes a
Speaker 1: little crazy for everybody. Right.
Speaker 2: Actually, last wake up, I was thinking like into a
Speaker 2: speech that I had to do and just kind of
Speaker 2: remembering the journey, and something came out. As to be
Speaker 2: able to heal others, first of all, you have to
Speaker 2: walk through all the wounds that I ever existed on
Speaker 2: planet Earth, understand them, heal them so you can help
Speaker 2: others to heal. So that has been my journey. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean let's get into the big kahuna one. Right,
Speaker 1: this is the one that's probably one of the most
Speaker 1: traumatic wounds, and it's when someone takes from you without permission, right,
Speaker 1: and so it's the one that you know books therapy,
Speaker 1: so many things happen when this happens to a young child.
Speaker 1: But I know that you suffered through sexual abuse in
Speaker 1: your very early years. I think between in the years
Speaker 1: between one and ten, right, or did it go further
Speaker 1: than that.
Speaker 2: I mean, let's start with a childhood so I can
Speaker 2: tell you my whole story. So before I came to Earth,
Speaker 2: I chose a father who was in a wheelchair, he
Speaker 2: never actually, I think he stopped walking when he was eight,
Speaker 2: And what a journey my mom chose marrying a guy
Speaker 2: who never walked. So because my father was surviving, you know,
Speaker 2: he was he did what he had to do in
Speaker 2: the best that he called. And my mom it was busy,
Speaker 2: you know, raising all these kids. So I kind of
Speaker 2: grew up very lonely. And I was remembering recently how
Speaker 2: lonely I felt that probably I didn't feel loved by
Speaker 2: my parents. So that created the first one before we
Speaker 2: go into the sexual trauma, the wound of abandonment, and
Speaker 2: how that I showed up later in my life. It
Speaker 2: was me attracting the wrong man, you know, because when
Speaker 2: you abandon yourself, you attract people who they can love
Speaker 2: you because you don't love yourself.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know, but yeah, there's so much
Speaker 1: to explore, right, because a wound occurs and then there's
Speaker 1: an equal or opposite reaction, right, So each wound creates
Speaker 1: a different behavior or a very similar behavior in different people.
Speaker 1: Sometimes there's like two or three behaviors that come from
Speaker 1: each wound. Right, So the wound of abandonment, you start
Speaker 1: choosing men that are not for you. Or you don't
Speaker 1: choose any men at all, right, if you're a woman
Speaker 1: or a guy or the opposite energy. Right, and so
Speaker 1: everyone behaves. There's like distinct patterns that everybody adapts depending
Speaker 1: on the wound. Right. And so when the wound of
Speaker 1: abandonment showed up for you, how is that like? Tell
Speaker 1: me what does the wound of abandonment feel like? You know,
Speaker 1: when that emotion, when that wave enters your body, how
Speaker 1: does this feel like for you? Can you walk the
Speaker 1: audience through that feeling, that emotion, that energy that overcomes
Speaker 1: your body, so.
Speaker 2: It can manifest in two ways, protecting yourself not to
Speaker 2: feel you always don't allow people to actually get closer
Speaker 2: to you. So you close your heart, you close everything
Speaker 2: you know, you don't open your heart to love. And
Speaker 2: for the same reason, you choose people who are inavailable,
Speaker 2: because you save space for men not to enter, you know.
Speaker 2: And or it can be that you feel very lonely.
Speaker 2: You know, even if you are around by people and
Speaker 2: people love you, it's still deep inside of you you
Speaker 2: feel not loved. It doesn't matter what people express in
Speaker 2: the outside. So the second layer, because we're going to
Speaker 2: talk about how did I heal the masculine energy within me.
Speaker 2: The second layer of that was because in Latin America
Speaker 2: it's very common more than what you think. All those
Speaker 2: secrets stays in family, you know, they're within this family circle.
Speaker 2: There are a lot of sexual abuse is not only
Speaker 2: from you know, from men to men, you know, men
Speaker 2: to boys, and also men to women, you know, And
Speaker 2: I am pretty sure that it's coming generations before until
Speaker 2: a brave soul like me decided to this needs to stop.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna heal them. I'm going to just express it
Speaker 2: to the world because what we cover, it just stays cover,
Speaker 2: you know, and it just repeats the partter itself.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So with that being the case, right here, you're
Speaker 1: here's a young lady, young girl who's obviously things are
Speaker 1: happening without her permission and correct me if I'm wrong.
Speaker 1: There was like a structure where it's like it's almost
Speaker 1: like you got to reward to stay quiet. Right, How
Speaker 1: did that show up later in life? Right as you
Speaker 1: here's this young woman now who's you know, become the teenager,
Speaker 1: and she goes through her hormonal changes, puberty, and now
Speaker 1: she's starting to have certain feelings, right like, were there
Speaker 1: anything for you that that like that came about between
Speaker 1: that age of puberty to you know, becoming a young adult,
Speaker 1: whether anything that you felt was being impacted by these
Speaker 1: experiences that you had as a younger girl.
Speaker 2: I actually don't remember much, but I can tell you
Speaker 2: what was the consequences. First of all, not trusting the masculine.
Speaker 2: You know, that was the one thing then that created
Speaker 2: another trauma right there. The second was this connection from
Speaker 2: our own body, because my soul left the body to
Speaker 2: be able to, I guess, to handle the pain. And
Speaker 2: it's so hard to connect the body with the feelings
Speaker 2: again because there is so many layers to heal sexual trauma.
Speaker 2: So the first layer for me was understanding the lesson
Speaker 2: behind that. To me, that was just a breakthrough that
Speaker 2: I had, Just what did I went through this and
Speaker 2: I went I remember that I went one time to
Speaker 2: healing trauma retreat. It was like a shamanic retreat. Of course,
Speaker 2: they you know, they do the forgiveness and you know
Speaker 2: they let go forgive yourself And that is just one layer.
Speaker 2: But one thing that I actually do remember is the
Speaker 2: person who hurt you the most is your teacher and
Speaker 2: that because it wasn't just one man there were many
Speaker 2: men involved within the family circle. I would say maybe
Speaker 2: eight people you know who actually took advantage of me.
Speaker 2: But those men, they were there for me to learn something.
Speaker 2: And when I realized that makes so much sense because
Speaker 2: that's what I'm here, that's what I can help other
Speaker 2: people to heal, exactly the wound. So you learn that
Speaker 2: those men who hurt you. Yes, it was painful. Yes
Speaker 2: I had to go through the journey, but I learned
Speaker 2: to be so thankful for the lesson because otherwise, without them,
Speaker 2: I couldn't go through this journey.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's quite a remarkable experience when when you start
Speaker 1: seeing as people that hurt you intentionally or non intentionally,
Speaker 1: or hurt people, hurt other people right, hurt people, hurt people,
Speaker 1: and so when you start seeing them as teachers almost
Speaker 1: like guides, like annoying guides, right at least in their
Speaker 1: three D brain, they're unknowingly guiding you, but you have
Speaker 1: they're taking you through a dark path so you can
Speaker 1: come to your your own light, whether you get it
Speaker 1: on your own or you you go into something like
Speaker 1: a shamanic retreat where you where you learn about forgiveness.
Speaker 1: And I'm covering those things that are that are stopping
Speaker 1: your growth. It's it's a framework. It's a completely different
Speaker 1: framework to see life right where it doesn't take you
Speaker 1: into victimhood. It takes you into like, hey, if I
Speaker 1: went through this and I get my lesson, then I'm
Speaker 1: a victor and I'm victorious and I'm more powerful and
Speaker 1: I'm more wise. And it seems like you've gone down
Speaker 1: that route. And I admire that about you a lot.
Speaker 1: It's it's such a beautiful, attractive quality. So you know
Speaker 1: that being the case, Now, do you feel pretty whole
Speaker 1: at least in those areas of life?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: And we're gonna go into more because there's you know,
Speaker 1: there's so much to uh discover underneath the service service
Speaker 1: with you, but how how good do you film in
Speaker 1: those two areas of your life? Like addressing the wound
Speaker 1: of abandonment and also you know, there's what would you
Speaker 1: call it when when it comes to sexual abuse, like
Speaker 1: you know, the wound of someone taking something that shouldn't
Speaker 1: have been taken, you know, without permission, without that maturity.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think I healed every layer of it,
Speaker 2: and it's still recently I've been hitting different part of it,
Speaker 2: but I find I recently find found out that because
Speaker 2: the way I was being abused, I'll say it wasn't
Speaker 2: like with violence. It was more like, you know, like
Speaker 2: a little kid. I remember that they used to give
Speaker 2: it like one pestel, you know, or a candy in exchange. Right,
Speaker 2: So I don't say anything, just keep quiet myself. So
Speaker 2: the first memories for me in terms of my sexual energy,
Speaker 2: it was about any exchange of something, and that shut
Speaker 2: up in my life that I didn't even realize how
Speaker 2: I behave with partners. So you know, in that sexual
Speaker 2: you know, it's always been like I need to give
Speaker 2: to be able to receive, and it didn't come from homeness,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, And so like this this pattern that
Speaker 1: I must give something and then and I also need
Speaker 1: to get something back. Right, So it's a it has
Speaker 1: to be like almost an even exchange or like it
Speaker 1: has to have an exchange. It just can't be from heart, right,
Speaker 1: I can't give unless I give get something back. I
Speaker 1: will only give something if they give to me, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: And only then do you allow yourself to go into
Speaker 1: that space. Yeah? Yeah, So is there a story where
Speaker 1: that were in your life, an example or that that
Speaker 1: like whether one percent showed up and it became this
Speaker 1: sort of like cycle of just exchange exchange, exchange, and
Speaker 1: were love wasn't involved or like or it prevented love
Speaker 1: from being birthed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think. I mean, all the relationship that I
Speaker 2: had in the past, it was always like that, you know,
Speaker 2: like I give my body, but I also got something
Speaker 2: in return in terms either dinners or money or something else,
Speaker 2: you know, and without me realizing there was the same
Speaker 2: partn as I learned as a child. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Remarkable, Huh. It's these things stay with us, you know,
Speaker 1: as little kids were soaking up so much of the
Speaker 1: world and we're creating ideas with yet not fully understanding
Speaker 1: what's happening in the world.
Speaker 2: Right. Yeah, I want to say something. It seems like
Speaker 2: when men do all these things, we think that it's bad.
Speaker 2: You know, it might seem bad, but when you go
Speaker 2: through the journey, you heal it and you get the lesson.
Speaker 2: I just have so much compassion. That's what probably I
Speaker 2: have so many males that follows me because I don't
Speaker 2: judge people. I actually don't. I understand that they wound,
Speaker 2: you know, because they also come from wounded families, you know.
Speaker 2: And it's the same part and repeats itself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it reminds me that you and I had gone
Speaker 1: to an event and you know, regarding individuals going to jail,
Speaker 1: and how seventy percent of mostly males, had had sexual
Speaker 1: abuse occur from the you know, same sex or the
Speaker 1: opposite sex, and seventy percent had this terrible experience and
Speaker 1: no one had ever addressed it. And you know, like
Speaker 1: you said, in a lot of these communities, everything is hush,
Speaker 1: everything is underneath the surface. And these young males and
Speaker 1: some females too that commit crime are forced to live
Speaker 1: with this and it shows up obviously in ways that
Speaker 1: are negative for their life, right where they end up
Speaker 1: in jail or doing crime or having like angry or
Speaker 1: violent outbursts. Right. So yeah, it's it's really incredible that
Speaker 1: you know, these things happen to us and how they
Speaker 1: affect us, and also how it affects the female energy
Speaker 1: versus the male energy. Right, so big different reactions based
Speaker 1: on sexes and based on experiences.
Speaker 2: Right. I had a message yesterday that someone just text me.
Speaker 2: It was a male and he said to me, having
Speaker 2: heal my sexual trauma and in my own private time,
Speaker 2: I like to put to where women's stuff heals and
Speaker 2: like lingery and I don't know how to deal with this,
Speaker 2: you know, and it's sad, you know. And from alatta
Speaker 2: men that I talked, they also go to sexual abuse
Speaker 2: trauma more than what people know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, especially how men are, right, we're so naturally
Speaker 1: not communicative, and I think it's a pervasive thing in
Speaker 1: society where like men go through things and it's a
Speaker 1: silent thing that they carry for life and they don't
Speaker 1: understand how they're shutting one part of their life off,
Speaker 1: and it causes like a down downhill effect, like whether
Speaker 1: they're not open with their partner or not silent with
Speaker 1: their partner, shut down, run away from conflict, so many
Speaker 1: ways that it bubbles up in services. So one of
Speaker 1: the beautiful things I admire about you is that non
Speaker 1: judgmental where you're you understand that everyone's having a human experience.
Speaker 1: And if hurt people hurt people, and they hurt people
Speaker 1: and then they hurt people, then at some point somebody
Speaker 1: has to address that wound and then the beautiful things
Speaker 1: happened with new generations that are healed start to bubble
Speaker 1: up from there on out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, for sure, I think I was the soul
Speaker 2: who said no more in my family. Yeah, and that
Speaker 2: creates a lot, a lot of it was hard for
Speaker 2: me also to trust the masculine. That's another journey there
Speaker 2: as well, you know now and the sexual trauma, but
Speaker 2: also if you have your father the wound of abandonment,
Speaker 2: it's hard to trust men and it's a journey to
Speaker 2: go back to. For me, it was more protecting myself,
Speaker 2: protecting my heart always I'm okay, I don't need hell
Speaker 2: from anybody. I can deal with my things alone. Which
Speaker 2: I learned how to do that because I just kept
Speaker 2: flying every single thing in my life. And I'm learning
Speaker 2: to even little by little too, you know, reminding myself
Speaker 2: it's okay, you're safe, and it's Jordaney. It takes time, you.
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, yeah, which I'll take it to the next thing.
Speaker 1: I mean, because you're like a super powerful healer and
Speaker 1: you're always one of the things that I find about
Speaker 1: you that you're super curious right where. It's like if
Speaker 1: you see something, you start to scratch right and you
Speaker 1: start to paw at it like a little dog finding
Speaker 1: a bone. And so you've been able to find things
Speaker 1: and then address things, and so you know, one of
Speaker 1: the surprising things is when you and I were having
Speaker 1: a conversation and then you're like, yeah, I had Bolivia,
Speaker 1: Like I used to make myself throw up, So you
Speaker 1: had a whole evening disorder, which completely surprised me. And now,
Speaker 1: and so tell me where did that come from?
Speaker 2: You?
Speaker 1: Is that the directness of wounds of abandonment or is
Speaker 1: that like you know, you comparing yourself to other women,
Speaker 1: or what causes this thing where you were like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna eat and then and then I'm gonna throw up
Speaker 1: and and that's gonna be a good thing for me. Right,
Speaker 1: That's what the body told itself, right, Like, well, uh,
Speaker 1: where did that derive from?
Speaker 2: I mean, Bolivia can come from many ways. I can
Speaker 2: have a little bit of everything in terms of as
Speaker 2: a teenager always being like a little bit shobby, you know,
Speaker 2: I always wanted to be skinny. First thing. Probably also
Speaker 2: the sexual trauma, I guess play a good part of it.
Speaker 2: And I think also, believe me, also has to do
Speaker 2: with the mother you know, I don't I don't remember,
Speaker 2: but if probably if I didn't feel accepted, I'll say
Speaker 2: in my mother moon, that will show up as well.
Speaker 2: You know somehow somewhere, and I think I deal with that.
Speaker 2: I don't think any of my family members even to
Speaker 2: this day knows, you know. And it took like twenty years,
Speaker 2: and the journey of now only Bolima is about just
Speaker 2: throwing up. It's about my body. I hated my body,
Speaker 2: you know. I wasn't happy the way I looked. I
Speaker 2: remember that it was so hard for me to even
Speaker 2: put a badding suit to go to the beach, you know,
Speaker 2: because I was shore a shame on my legs for
Speaker 2: so long. So how did I heal that? I think
Speaker 2: little by little, I started just touching myself and talking
Speaker 2: to my body and say it's okay. The mirror work,
Speaker 2: you know, looking at myself in the mirror and saying
Speaker 2: beautiful things even if I didn't believe it, in it,
Speaker 2: and doing rituals like body scrubs, creams, and until I
Speaker 2: reprogrammed my body and my head because I finally understood
Speaker 2: that this beautiful body God gave it to me to
Speaker 2: enjoy this earth. I can laugh, I can smell things,
Speaker 2: I can eat, I can love. There is no other
Speaker 2: way to experience this beautiful or experience without this body.
Speaker 2: So I learned how to honor it and accepting the
Speaker 2: way it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what was that moment, that breakthrough moment? It could
Speaker 1: have happened like, you know, maybe you saw a book,
Speaker 1: a movie, you had a conversation with someone. What was
Speaker 1: that breakthrough moment like when you when you said, no,
Speaker 1: I have to I have to accept this body. I
Speaker 1: have to love this vehicle, you know, I have to
Speaker 1: love this vessel, Like do you remember that moment or
Speaker 1: it was a gradual thing that just you know, kept calling,
Speaker 1: you know, whether a vision a dream. I'd love to
Speaker 1: hear that to unpack that for the audience.
Speaker 2: I think it was years and years of journaling affirmations
Speaker 2: onto every program I had. It wasn't just one to three.
Speaker 2: It was a long journey there. And what I finally
Speaker 2: was the last piece that I spoke with you before,
Speaker 2: is when my daughter had the opposite side that she
Speaker 2: had anorexia when she was a teenager, and I said,
Speaker 2: oh my god, looking back is the things that you
Speaker 2: don't heal pass it on. So dealing with her the
Speaker 2: opposite she just brought a different type of awareness, and
Speaker 2: I think that was the final breakthrough to the other side.
Speaker 1: Got it, got it? So you saw the next generation
Speaker 1: suffering from something similar, which there's bolimia with not loving
Speaker 1: the body, so you eat and then you feel sick
Speaker 1: and then you throw up, and then there's anorexia right
Speaker 1: where it's like starting, yeah, where you're like not eating
Speaker 1: at all, right, And you were starting to see that
Speaker 1: surface in your own family, and that became a mirror
Speaker 1: for you, like if I'm afraid for my own daughter,
Speaker 1: like why am I not? Why don't I take care
Speaker 1: of myself? Did your daughter know that you were suffering
Speaker 1: from bolimia or was it like even a secret for
Speaker 1: yourself entirely it.
Speaker 2: Was a secret before, but once she we went into
Speaker 2: the process, I had to talk to her, you know,
Speaker 2: because I always been open to it because all my journey,
Speaker 2: she knows and she understands other sign as well. And
Speaker 2: it's so hard for teenagers in this age with social media,
Speaker 2: there's a lot of compared you know, they compare two
Speaker 2: people and makeup and and we are just being programmed.
Speaker 2: The beauty has to look a certain way, which is
Speaker 2: we all beautiful in different ways?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, And I see that actually happening for males too,
Speaker 1: you know, like there's so many like good looking males
Speaker 1: and male models and superheroes, and they all look by
Speaker 1: and even guys now were like, hey, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I want to take off my shirt. When if
Speaker 1: you go look at guys in their seven back in
Speaker 1: the eighties and seventies, they had their shirt off, no muscles,
Speaker 1: the little tummies, and everybody was happy. Right, So it's
Speaker 1: starting not to also affect men as well. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of social pressure to look a certain way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's incredible. How you know, we all get impacted by
Speaker 1: the imagery, by the messages that we see. Yeah, it's incredible. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So how does it now feel to love your body? Right? Like,
Speaker 1: what kind of self expression does that allow you to
Speaker 1: do versus what you did before? In fact, let me
Speaker 1: take a step back, because you had believe me, but
Speaker 1: you were I believe you also were doing the gym
Speaker 1: and you were like really taking care of your body, right,
Speaker 1: But I think it wasn't coming from a place of
Speaker 1: love that you wanted to be healthier. It was just
Speaker 1: that you wanted to look a certain way or feel
Speaker 1: a certain way. But you never got there, right, You
Speaker 1: never got to that place of happiness.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: So with that being said, Now, how does bella express
Speaker 1: herself from a body from an image point of view? Right?
Speaker 1: What kind of freedom has it brought you and bought
Speaker 1: you to now love your body in a certain way?
Speaker 2: I mean many ways. So I remember before I used to,
Speaker 2: like you said, go into the gym and exercising every day.
Speaker 2: And I got to the point that was very skinny,
Speaker 2: very skinny. But I never was happy with my body
Speaker 2: at all, you know, never, and looking back what I
Speaker 2: am now. Yes, I might not be size I don't
Speaker 2: know whatever, size six or seven, but I feel me.
Speaker 2: I feel so feminine. I feel even when I were
Speaker 2: like a luxury or a beautiful pajama or you know,
Speaker 2: going put a skirt, which I don't mind. You know,
Speaker 2: I don't think even people care the way you look,
Speaker 2: you know, it's pretty much into our head, you know.
Speaker 2: But to be able to self express yourself the way
Speaker 2: you dressed, the where you look, your sensuality is just
Speaker 2: as beautiful.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I do find that if women understood how
Speaker 1: the male brain works, they would know that, like we
Speaker 1: just see you guys, so beautiful, especially like in different archetypes,
Speaker 1: different body types, you know, we actually, even though we
Speaker 1: can we could be hurt or like influenced by like
Speaker 1: how we want to look. We still love our women
Speaker 1: and in all the different shapes and sizes, and I
Speaker 1: sometimes as guys, we struggle with our women struggling with
Speaker 1: their body issues because we see, hey, you look absolutely
Speaker 1: gorgeous and beautiful, and don't worry about those that sell
Speaker 1: you like we love it. Don't worry about the wrinkles
Speaker 1: post birth and your belly, we love it. Don't worry
Speaker 1: about the stretchmorris, don't worry about a little extra, little
Speaker 1: extra loving you know, skin here and there. So we
Speaker 1: struggle with the woman struggle to love their own bodies,
Speaker 1: you know. So sometimes I wish that women can go
Speaker 1: into our own heads and say, hey, wow, they're looking
Speaker 1: at something. They look at it at us like we're
Speaker 1: beautiful goddesses. So yeah, so I'm so happy that that
Speaker 1: you you found yourself and now you can, you know,
Speaker 1: express yourself and your full femininity where before you were,
Speaker 1: but just in a different frequency, right, a different a
Speaker 1: different way. And how does it feel like if you
Speaker 1: can think of the bella that was going to the
Speaker 1: gym every day, how did that frequency feel versus the
Speaker 1: bella now that that's a little bit more free, but
Speaker 1: really accepting and loving.
Speaker 2: I think besides freedom, it's just peace for yourself. You
Speaker 2: don't even think about all the insecurities. They're not there.
Speaker 2: I mean, security has so many layers. Which is not
Speaker 2: a wound that we want to talk about, but in
Speaker 2: terms of the body, I just you know, you go
Speaker 2: into the dresser and you pull anything and you put
Speaker 2: it on and you feel beautiful. You don't even have
Speaker 2: those thoughts on your head that you look ugly or
Speaker 2: you look fad. I actually don't have that anymore. It
Speaker 2: took a while to get there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, incredible, I love that. Yeah, you've been again. And
Speaker 1: the most incredible thing is that you heal something and
Speaker 1: what happens there's like a new layer, right, there's a
Speaker 1: new layer. There were onions, and you know, once you
Speaker 1: think you're like, oh yeah, I'm a complete human being
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh my god, no, I'm not. Look
Speaker 1: at what's here, right, And then you scratch and you
Speaker 1: get to another level. Right. You and I have had
Speaker 1: real in depth conversations about expression right and communication, and
Speaker 1: one of the things that you have focused on is
Speaker 1: that for the feminine energy to express, to express her truth,
Speaker 1: to not stay silent, right, tell us what that means
Speaker 1: for you, because you know, I think you grew up
Speaker 1: with a mom who's by far our lord is just
Speaker 1: very silent, very accommodating, very self sacrificing. And probably I
Speaker 1: think what you've said is not from the right frequency, right,
Speaker 1: not from the right approach. So what did that mean
Speaker 1: to you? For the feminine not to stay quiet?
Speaker 2: So I was being programmed like men comes first and
Speaker 2: we have to serve men, which is fine. You know,
Speaker 2: I'm happy to make you happy or make my men happy,
Speaker 2: but sometimes men we being programmed to sacrifice ourself. And
Speaker 2: I can see from my mother that was kind of
Speaker 2: doing the same thing that she never expressed her emotions.
Speaker 2: Everything was okay, she was always being taken care of
Speaker 2: everybody all the time, but not herself. She was always lost.
Speaker 2: And that in my life the same thing. All my life,
Speaker 2: I did things for others and it was so hard
Speaker 2: for me to learn how to say no. That was
Speaker 2: a difficult thing to learn. It was like and I
Speaker 2: ended upping situations when I wasn't happy. But I always
Speaker 2: say yes people pleasing overgiving because that's what I learned
Speaker 2: from my mom and by working in me and all
Speaker 2: my insecurities, and you know, claiming my power back is
Speaker 2: one of the things that I love that I'm not
Speaker 2: afraid to say what I think in a beautiful way.
Speaker 2: People might not agree with what I say, but I
Speaker 2: have to speak my truth and what is important because
Speaker 2: then we hold resentment. And when we hold resentment, we
Speaker 2: cannot connect deeply with our relationships. That's why it's so
Speaker 2: important to speak your truth.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think you hit the nail there on.
Speaker 1: Resentment creates a big disconnection with family members, with lovers,
Speaker 1: with friends. Right, If you're resenting someone, then that gap
Speaker 1: becomes big because you're not living authentic, you're being inauthentic
Speaker 1: to this person. And then now you have to portray
Speaker 1: and you have to act, you have to put on
Speaker 1: a mask, right, And I think you hit the nail
Speaker 1: on the head there that it creates a huge disconnection
Speaker 1: in our relationship when you're not speaking your truth, right.
Speaker 1: And sometimes the truth that we want to speak maybe
Speaker 1: well maybe not even coming from the right filter or
Speaker 1: maybe maybe misaligned. Right. Sometimes we need to have a lesson, right,
Speaker 1: but that lesson can't come true or can't be uncovered
Speaker 1: if we're not speaking what we think is our truth
Speaker 1: at that time. Right, So, yeah, you really opened up.
Speaker 1: It's a big topic. I could probably speak a whole
Speaker 1: episode on resentment and staying quiet. But how was it
Speaker 1: for you to start to unlock that? Right? Because people
Speaker 1: pleasing feels good, right, Like everybody loves you, everybody looks
Speaker 1: forward to see you. Everybody counts on you. Who doesn't
Speaker 1: like to be counted on? Right, Everybody expects you to
Speaker 1: be there and you show up and so they celebrate
Speaker 1: you in a certain kind of way. Right, But it
Speaker 1: becomes to the point where like you're not chasing your
Speaker 1: own goals, you're not serving your bank account. Maybe you're
Speaker 1: not giving time or space to yourself, and you're not
Speaker 1: giving you're not honoring what you truly want to do
Speaker 1: in life. So how was it for you to really
Speaker 1: turn the knob? There were there a breaking point? Were
Speaker 1: there a point where you say, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: sick of this and this stops now? Right? Did you
Speaker 1: have that moment?
Speaker 2: Yes? But I think, first of all, when I say
Speaker 2: that in my own practice with my clients, I see
Speaker 2: that that comes from the wound of abandonment. Because now
Speaker 2: only you abandon you know, you were abandoned by your parents,
Speaker 2: but you abandon yourself too, you know, and the wound
Speaker 2: of abandonment shows with a lot of.
Speaker 1: How you say meets fears.
Speaker 2: A lot of fears, right because you keep silent because
Speaker 2: you're afraid of conflict, because you're afraid of losing the
Speaker 2: person you're afraid. Well, the people might think you're afraid
Speaker 2: so many, so many fears. When you don't work on
Speaker 2: those fears, then then you go in life making all
Speaker 2: the people happy, but now yourself. And also that creates
Speaker 2: anxiety because you ended up doing things that you're not
Speaker 2: happy in. That anxiety will come. And yeah, for me,
Speaker 2: it's just feeling all my heart and my whole party
Speaker 2: and then regretting, you know, doing something, regretting myself that
Speaker 2: why did I do this? Well, I don't have the
Speaker 2: power to say no and wantel One day I said
Speaker 2: no more. But I need to have the awareness before
Speaker 2: to be able to make that, you know, the shift
Speaker 2: that it was something that came from my childhood. So
Speaker 2: when I went to heal my child as well in
Speaker 2: that part of it, you know, I think also helped
Speaker 2: my inner child.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, one of the practices that I think you
Speaker 1: have implemented in your healing practice. Is that going to
Speaker 1: that inner child, right and uncovering memories, feelings, energy, And
Speaker 1: so it sounds like you've done that multiple times for yourself.
Speaker 1: It's like maybe each time you've gone there, they're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, there's something more right. How important is
Speaker 1: it to for that exercise right, Like, oh my.
Speaker 2: Gosh, I thank you. I think it's one of the
Speaker 2: exercises that we all need to do healing our inner child.
Speaker 2: And I remember for me it was giving birth to
Speaker 2: myself because to be able to heal that wound, you
Speaker 2: have to go back see the inner child, acknowledge and
Speaker 2: see what the inner child feel in those moments loneliness,
Speaker 2: what what were feeling. It was bring the inner child back.
Speaker 2: But I remember in one meditation, this lady took us
Speaker 2: because we're women, right in a meditation where we were
Speaker 2: pregnant and we gave birth this beautiful baby, and this
Speaker 2: baby was me in a baby state. Now have to
Speaker 2: become the father and the mother of this baby, and
Speaker 2: you have to nurture and give everything. What my parents
Speaker 2: they gave it to me, I have to give it
Speaker 2: to myself. So when you start taking care of the
Speaker 2: inner child. How are you gonna talk to it? Are
Speaker 2: you gonna listen to it? How are you gonna nurture it?
Speaker 2: And by doing that, sending time for yourself thinking you
Speaker 2: know what I'm gonna do, How I'm gonna show off
Speaker 2: with this baby, which is me and my little baby.
Speaker 2: Things will start shifting. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So beautiful. Yeah, And it's incredible that you can go back,
Speaker 1: you know. And just recently I was watching some videos
Speaker 1: where people can goal and have regressions and see themselves
Speaker 1: as infants. So I think the wounds that occur probably
Speaker 1: in the first two years of life, they're so deeply
Speaker 1: buried in our brain cells, right, So I've been happy
Speaker 1: to hear that there there's people that can go and
Speaker 1: regress and actually get memories that occur there and try
Speaker 1: to address them. But the way you're doing it through
Speaker 1: the meditative state and going back and maybe from the
Speaker 1: third person perspective addressing you know, giving something to yourself
Speaker 1: or giving something back to yourself that you didn't get
Speaker 1: or that was taken from you as a visualization and
Speaker 1: maybe even these as an energetic state can be so powerful.
Speaker 1: And there was an event where I actually had went
Speaker 1: to my inner child. Like not inner child, but I
Speaker 1: went to my younger self and it came to me.
Speaker 1: I was just sitting at a table eating cereal and
Speaker 1: I was sitting there, just munching away reading the cereal box,
Speaker 1: and I saw him and I saw wow, and I
Speaker 1: touched his head and I patted him and I said, hey, man,
Speaker 1: Everything's going to be okay, you know, And then I said,
Speaker 1: you're my best friend, you know. And I remember tearing
Speaker 1: up and because thinking like wow, like I have the
Speaker 1: ability to become my own best friend, you know. And
Speaker 1: if I'm my own best friend, then I'm going to
Speaker 1: feel so whole. I'm never going to feel alone, because
Speaker 1: if you love yourself, you're just a whole person for
Speaker 1: everybody else, and you can spread that level around, you know.
Speaker 1: So a beautiful practice. And you know, I know that
Speaker 1: we I have an event coming up and you're one
Speaker 1: of the speakers, and you know, I think that the
Speaker 1: people are going to get go through that journey.
Speaker 2: And I seen so many beautiful things when we go
Speaker 2: into that journey, and so I just open, you know,
Speaker 2: I open up like a potal so they can bring
Speaker 2: that child back to the present. And it's it's very
Speaker 2: healing when you become your father, your mother, and when
Speaker 2: you become whole, because once you nurture yourself, you're not
Speaker 2: gonna you're not gonna look validation outside. You're not gonna
Speaker 2: look for the love for others, you know, because you're whole,
Speaker 2: You're giving it to yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So therefore you start attracting different people in your life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so true, so true. If you wouldn't mind, palad
Speaker 1: if you can lift that microphone just a little bit, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's stand falls a little bit, man. You know, look
Speaker 1: at that. We're at like forty two minutes now, and
Speaker 1: it's quite remarkable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so many ones that we're gonna probably live from.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one of the things. So what a different flavor
Speaker 1: to this episode right from our we were cracking up
Speaker 1: any other episode of the first episode, and this one's
Speaker 1: a little bit more serious in tone, but obviously that
Speaker 1: we're talking about beautiful, beautiful things, discovering what makes you
Speaker 1: you in what can be, what you can become. Potentially
Speaker 1: if you address the things that you think make you
Speaker 1: up or not, aren't truly you? Right, And so you've
Speaker 1: had a wonderful trip on social media, but then you
Speaker 1: had to take a break, right, it was like a
Speaker 1: two full years running full stream, like making two or
Speaker 1: three videos a day, every single day, maybe even seven
Speaker 1: times a day a week, and then something happened and
Speaker 1: you had to take a social media like hiatus. How
Speaker 1: long was that hiatus and what occurred? Tell us what
Speaker 1: journey you did you have to go inward to that
Speaker 1: caused you to take the hiatus and then and then
Speaker 1: reawakening in a sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think gall always has a plan and the
Speaker 2: perfect timing. So I took I think it was I
Speaker 2: don't know between six two eight months and in those moments,
Speaker 2: I just you know, took courses, meditation, I just went
Speaker 2: inner with myself, really discovering myself. And it's okay to
Speaker 2: change when you see the things are not aligned and
Speaker 2: you go in. One of the things that I learned
Speaker 2: in that is the love, the love of the mirror.
Speaker 2: That's what it's called the love of the mirror. I
Speaker 2: whoever is watching the love of the mirror will change
Speaker 2: your life because as it is inside, it's outside. It's
Speaker 2: something in the outside you don't like. It's not the people,
Speaker 2: it's something triggers you, triggers you outside it's not the
Speaker 2: people that you're gonna change. It's reflecting back of the
Speaker 2: things that you need to heal, the things that you
Speaker 2: need to work if you if you feel jealousy, it's
Speaker 2: not it's not that the partner has to even you know,
Speaker 2: do something.
Speaker 1: It's you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to work in your own insecurities. If
Speaker 2: people are mistreating you, people don't love you, something that
Speaker 2: you have to work within you that you don't know
Speaker 2: how to, you know, set your bounder. It that you
Speaker 2: don't love yourself. So all the outside is just a reflector,
Speaker 2: you know, reflects back to yourself. I think you know
Speaker 2: pretty well this lot of the mirror as well. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: you can explain it even better perhaps.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, the lot of the mirror, you know. I
Speaker 1: actually funny that you say that is I was working
Speaker 1: for a bit corporation, right, one of the most unique
Speaker 1: financial companies in the world, and we had a system
Speaker 1: called the dot system, and so you would point out
Speaker 1: things that other people were, you know, usually good or bad, right,
Speaker 1: And so what I what I started to realize is
Speaker 1: that the dots system, the dot collections, points about the
Speaker 1: other person. The reality is that those dots were more
Speaker 1: of a reflection of the people that were reviewing, that
Speaker 1: were creating the dots, that were creating the observations, right,
Speaker 1: And so there were really both a reflection and a
Speaker 1: projection of what was triggering for that person.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: So in the dot collection system, it was supposed to
Speaker 1: be a reflection of you if I'm belliss, charismatic, but
Speaker 1: she's a jealous person, she's forgetful, she's this, but she
Speaker 1: has great leadership. Right. Altogether, it was to create a
Speaker 1: picture of you, but if you looked at the collection
Speaker 1: of dots produced by the persons, it was more of
Speaker 1: a projection and a reflection of what they saw and
Speaker 1: how they observed the world. Right. And so I took
Speaker 1: that as a beautiful way to say, Okay, like really
Speaker 1: it's but what you point out is what your system's
Speaker 1: been programmed to look for. What you observe is a
Speaker 1: big reflection of how you're seeing the world.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: So it's not necessarily that that is true, but it's
Speaker 1: a true observation of you. Right. And so if you're
Speaker 1: constantly getting stressed about this one thing, is it that
Speaker 1: thing or is it you? You know, it's definitely yeah, yeah, yes, exactly.
Speaker 2: Whatever triggers you outside, whatever bothers you, whatever it is,
Speaker 2: one hundred percent, whatever it is, it's not that side.
Speaker 2: It's going to reflect back to you. And once you
Speaker 2: understand this law, you start taking control or of your
Speaker 2: own life. You're not the victim anymore, the victim, you know,
Speaker 2: and once you take control back, you become a powerful
Speaker 2: being because you can design your life. You know that
Speaker 2: something comes up, then you will hear it, you'll do
Speaker 2: the inner work, and you just keep moving forward in
Speaker 2: your life, you know, opening it up more. You know,
Speaker 2: people will change around you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, out of that game. One of the most important
Speaker 1: principles for me, which is like if you change, everything changes.
Speaker 1: If you change, every single thing changes. If you go
Speaker 1: from being a hateful person to a loving person, everything
Speaker 1: changes for you. If you go from a lazy person
Speaker 1: to an ambitious person, everything changes, you know, So do
Speaker 1: the change inside and your entire life changes, and then
Speaker 1: that frequency elevates and a whole different set of people
Speaker 1: start to show up in your life. You know, if
Speaker 1: you're loving, lovey dove, people will show up. You know,
Speaker 1: if you're hateful, you're spiteful, that's the crew that you're
Speaker 1: gonna attract. You know. So I definitely whenever I feel
Speaker 1: an inconvenience or a frustration, I say, okay, you know,
Speaker 1: is it me? Do I have to change or do
Speaker 1: I have to change that? And I have that dialogue
Speaker 1: and a lot of times I have to make the changes,
Speaker 1: you know. And it's a beautiful to be. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a law of the mirror, a wonderful way to be.
Speaker 2: I remember when we were talking, this came into my mind,
Speaker 2: like before you come to Earth, there are certain rules
Speaker 2: that you have to play. And there is one rule
Speaker 2: that I remember. Whatever you don't like, is it like that,
Speaker 2: whatever you don't like, you have to love.
Speaker 1: It something along those lines. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, either you accept it or you love it, that's it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And a lot of times it's like love it anyways,
Speaker 1: give it love anyways. Any even today we're laughing about
Speaker 1: something that happened right where you know, you just give love,
Speaker 1: kill it with love and it'll change, you know, it
Speaker 1: definitely changes.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, you know do you bella like we
Speaker 1: could go on for hours, man, you know, so what,
Speaker 1: let's leave something, Please leave something for the audience. You've
Speaker 1: had such a beautiful, transformative like last seven months since
Speaker 1: I've seen you. I see almost every day now, and
Speaker 1: so if you can leave something with the audience, I
Speaker 1: would definitely appreciate it. I'm gonna put the camera on
Speaker 1: you right here.
Speaker 2: I think at the end of the day, we are
Speaker 2: we're all looking for love, either to be loved or
Speaker 2: love someone. If you really want to manifest this beautiful
Speaker 2: love in your life, the first step is going to
Speaker 2: the healing journey self. Assess yourself, seek for help. Once
Speaker 2: you go into this journey might not be easy, but
Speaker 2: it's so worth it. It's so worth it because you're
Speaker 2: gonna learn to love yourself and from there you're gonna
Speaker 2: attract the right people, the right partner, beautiful family. Everything changes,
Speaker 2: So seek for help. Don't be afraid to confront those
Speaker 2: wounds or the shadows, whatever it takes to heal.
Speaker 1: That is so beautiful, Bella, so so beautiful. Thank you,
Speaker 1: you know to what you transform every single day almost
Speaker 1: over the past seven months has been just remarkable and
Speaker 1: I just can't wait for you know, all the beautiful
Speaker 1: things that are in store for you and for your
Speaker 1: clients and for your healing practice. It's a beautiful thing
Speaker 1: to see. And how how can people get in touch
Speaker 1: with you nowadays.
Speaker 2: Huh. You can follow me on social media your sovela, Instagram, YouTube,
Speaker 2: facebookwhere else, YouTube, TikTok.
Speaker 1: You can find her everywhere, guys. You know so awesome, guys,
Speaker 1: So Bella, thank you again, a little high fivey. It's
Speaker 1: a beautiful color on you. And guys, thank you for
Speaker 1: watching this week's episode of The Breakthrough Lab. Man. What
Speaker 1: a healing journey, Bella. Yeah, we can go like three
Speaker 1: episodes deep here. Thank you for supporting us here at
Speaker 1: SOS Radio Do Live. We're a community driven organization. There
Speaker 1: are many other hosts on this network that speak about
Speaker 1: surviving trauma, hope, technology, entrepreneurship, the healing journey and masterminds,
Speaker 1: all driving that human experience forward, just like Bella and
Speaker 1: her beautiful journey to become this incredible, powerful goddess. And
Speaker 1: I really do thank you guys for your support. There
Speaker 1: is a donate button somewhere on the left or the
Speaker 1: right if you feel compelled to put something in the
Speaker 1: channel there. The organization was really appreciated and until then
Speaker 1: the Breakthrough Lab Remember your next breakthrough starts here. Take care, guys,
Speaker 1: Bye bye. Every