WEBVTT 1 00:00:12.160 --> 00:00:13.320 A M E L. 2 00:00:13.960 --> 00:00:17.920 Yes, that's right. Folks say for comedy, Hey for Abbit, 3 00:00:18.839 --> 00:00:23.239 for Maxwell, he for Enna's l for Lou Costello. Put 4 00:00:23.280 --> 00:00:28.679 them all together and they spell camel experience is the 5 00:00:28.719 --> 00:00:32.560 best teacher. Try a camel. Let your own experience tell 6 00:00:32.600 --> 00:00:35.399 you why more people are smoking camels than ever before, 7 00:00:35.799 --> 00:00:38.240 And draw up a chair for Tonight's Camel Show starring 8 00:00:38.280 --> 00:00:54.200 put Abbit and Lou Costello. 9 00:00:54.799 --> 00:00:58.320 Hey, Castello Castel here. 10 00:00:58.960 --> 00:01:00.840 Hey, by the way, what were you doing at Universal 11 00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:02.240 International Studios this morning? 12 00:01:02.280 --> 00:01:02.399 Oh? 13 00:01:02.399 --> 00:01:03.880 I had to take my pet flies over there? 14 00:01:03.960 --> 00:01:05.560 You took flies to a picture studio? 15 00:01:05.560 --> 00:01:05.799 What for? 16 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:10.040 They get him a screen test if you win? 17 00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:11.840 Who who was that redheaded couch? 18 00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:14.560 Hey? Lo? Who was that red headed girl that was 19 00:01:14.599 --> 00:01:16.120 with you? Oh? 20 00:01:16.280 --> 00:01:18.000 She's been chasing after me for years, Abbott. 21 00:01:18.159 --> 00:01:19.879 I call her pilot like pilot light. 22 00:01:20.200 --> 00:01:24.280 Yeah, she's an old flame that stayed lit. But she's 23 00:01:24.319 --> 00:01:26.200 a lovely girl, Abbitt. She's very social. 24 00:01:26.599 --> 00:01:30.000 Does she have a Does she have good connections? Lot? 25 00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:31.840 I think you punt. Does she have good connections? 26 00:01:31.840 --> 00:01:32.920 Well, she never fell apart. 27 00:01:33.000 --> 00:01:35.120 Well I was with her. 28 00:01:35.400 --> 00:01:39.400 I'm talking about her connections her associates. 29 00:01:39.640 --> 00:01:41.439 Does she belongs to the junior League. 30 00:01:41.599 --> 00:01:43.760 Belong to the Junior League. No, she belongs to the 31 00:01:43.840 --> 00:01:47.519 Coast League. She used to pitch for the San Francisco Seal. 32 00:01:48.920 --> 00:01:51.560 Castill. I'm talking about the Junior League society. 33 00:01:52.079 --> 00:01:54.519 Has she come out yet? Has she made her debut? 34 00:01:55.159 --> 00:01:56.120 Or what her debut? 35 00:01:56.640 --> 00:01:56.840 Oh? 36 00:01:56.840 --> 00:02:01.439 Sure, every time she comes out debu hey boor al 37 00:02:01.519 --> 00:02:05.959 right they say booye hey. But she's very she's very 38 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:07.680 high tone abbit. What she was born in the south 39 00:02:07.719 --> 00:02:08.080 of England. 40 00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:11.159 Oh, I see her family came from Wales. Her family 41 00:02:11.199 --> 00:02:11.800 came from Wales. 42 00:02:11.879 --> 00:02:14.800 Yes, I thought her conversation sounded a little fishy. 43 00:02:15.639 --> 00:02:18.000 Stop SNDS please Wales. 44 00:02:18.080 --> 00:02:21.039 Wales is part of England. That means they're English people. 45 00:02:21.080 --> 00:02:22.680 Now what does her father do. 46 00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:24.199 He's got a big diplomatic job. 47 00:02:24.039 --> 00:02:26.400 With a bakery. A diplomatic job and a bakery again. 48 00:02:26.319 --> 00:02:29.800 Helm's Bakery. He's a British advisor to the English cruppets. 49 00:02:29.879 --> 00:02:35.680 All right, forget about a father. What does she do? 50 00:02:36.560 --> 00:02:37.039 What does she do? 51 00:02:37.159 --> 00:02:38.800 Yes, well, she weighs two hundred and fifty pounds and 52 00:02:38.879 --> 00:02:40.319 she's got a big job as a sandhak. 53 00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:42.000 How could a woman be a sandha? 54 00:02:42.159 --> 00:02:43.919 She sits around the beach all day and hodge the 55 00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:46.680 sand sounds like quite a family. 56 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:48.240 Are they wealthy? Wealthy Abbott? 57 00:02:48.240 --> 00:02:50.080 They got a chateau in France, a villain Switzerland, a 58 00:02:50.080 --> 00:02:52.199 castle in Spain and a hessienda in Mexico? 59 00:02:52.319 --> 00:02:53.159 Where do they live in? 60 00:02:53.199 --> 00:02:57.080 A quantcert hut and Glendale? 61 00:02:57.719 --> 00:03:00.400 You're wasting your time with these people. Why didn't you 62 00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:01.199 get yourself a good job? 63 00:03:01.199 --> 00:03:02.639 I had a good job once, have it? I worked 64 00:03:02.680 --> 00:03:04.280 for a foot doctor. I used to put bird seat 65 00:03:04.319 --> 00:03:06.800 in people's shoes. Bird seats in people's shoes, or that 66 00:03:06.919 --> 00:03:08.560 keeps their pitching toes away from their coin? 67 00:03:10.719 --> 00:03:21.039 Castell, a clean lord, Castell. I'm only trying to help you. 68 00:03:21.120 --> 00:03:22.919 Look why that you listen to me? You can change. 69 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:25.479 I used to be dumb like you once. I was ignorant, 70 00:03:25.560 --> 00:03:29.000 stupid and ugly. And you know what what caused the change? 71 00:03:29.479 --> 00:03:34.639 Wat change? Uh? There must be somewhere to get you 72 00:03:34.680 --> 00:03:36.080 a job. Wait a minute, I've got it. 73 00:03:36.400 --> 00:03:39.680 I'll speak to Harry Riddoff about you. Better still, I'll 74 00:03:39.680 --> 00:03:41.560 have my brother get you a job where he works 75 00:03:41.639 --> 00:03:44.280 the nothing bow factory. Your brother works nothing? Both, yes, 76 00:03:44.400 --> 00:03:45.120 what she's doing there? 77 00:03:45.400 --> 00:03:49.719 Nothing? Nothing? He is working doing what nothing? And he 78 00:03:49.719 --> 00:03:51.199 gets paid for doing nothing, certainly. 79 00:03:51.360 --> 00:03:52.520 Hey, but if I get a good job at the 80 00:03:52.560 --> 00:03:54.919 nothing bowl factory, what would I be doing nothing? Now 81 00:03:54.960 --> 00:03:56.680 you're talking, that's the kind of job I. 82 00:03:56.639 --> 00:04:00.439 Wanted, where it is nothing is hard work. My brother 83 00:04:00.479 --> 00:04:02.960 puts in eight hours a day, five days a. 84 00:04:02.919 --> 00:04:04.479 Week, doing nothing. That's ry. 85 00:04:04.919 --> 00:04:07.039 Look abit your brother works in a bowl factory. Yes, 86 00:04:07.080 --> 00:04:09.039 are you sure he don't do nothing? Besides nothing? 87 00:04:09.080 --> 00:04:09.479 We else? 88 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:13.280 Sometimes he works in the foundery department. Then he forges steals. 89 00:04:13.560 --> 00:04:14.280 How do you like that? 90 00:04:14.439 --> 00:04:16.920 He ain't satisfied getting paid for doing nothing? Now he 91 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:22.120 forges and steals a crock? He has not a crock. Different, 92 00:04:22.240 --> 00:04:24.959 he's worked hall all his night. Before he worked in 93 00:04:24.959 --> 00:04:27.160 another bowl factory. He worked in a rope factory. What's 94 00:04:27.160 --> 00:04:28.240 he doing in a rope factory? Not? 95 00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:29.560 Well, that's different. 96 00:04:29.639 --> 00:04:33.439 I mean, wait a minute, what did you say he 97 00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:34.439 was doing in a rope factory? 98 00:04:34.480 --> 00:04:35.279 Nodding, nodding. 99 00:04:35.680 --> 00:04:37.959 This guy's been getting away with murder so far. He's 100 00:04:37.959 --> 00:04:40.319 had two jobs up to now, he's been doing nothing 101 00:04:40.399 --> 00:04:41.120 and nothing in. 102 00:04:41.040 --> 00:04:43.120 The costels to me, and I'll try to explain it 103 00:04:43.160 --> 00:04:44.360 so that even you can understand. 104 00:04:44.360 --> 00:04:44.639 Thank you. 105 00:04:44.759 --> 00:04:48.279 The rope factory makes tennis nets. What nets nets, and 106 00:04:48.439 --> 00:04:53.160 next to you to my brother made tennis nets. The 107 00:04:53.240 --> 00:04:56.439 nets are tied together with knots, and my brother does nodding. 108 00:04:56.639 --> 00:05:00.160 Just a second abbot. When did you butter start nothing nodding? Oh? 109 00:05:00.160 --> 00:05:01.639 About three years ago? And what's he doing? 110 00:05:01.639 --> 00:05:01.800 Now? 111 00:05:02.079 --> 00:05:04.360 I told you nothing? Look up to now you told. 112 00:05:04.279 --> 00:05:05.959 Me less than that. You said your putt it did 113 00:05:06.040 --> 00:05:08.399 nothing for three years, and now he's doing nothing. When 114 00:05:08.480 --> 00:05:09.600 is he gonna start doing something? 115 00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:11.319 He is doing something? What nutting? 116 00:05:11.720 --> 00:05:12.519 Nothing? 117 00:05:12.759 --> 00:05:15.079 Really? Well, lat one of us is nuts. 118 00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:17.480 Look, don't you gotta get tired of doing nothing? Oh? 119 00:05:17.560 --> 00:05:19.439 Of course when he gets tired, he takes a vacation. 120 00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:24.879 What does he do on his vacation? Nothing? Now there 121 00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:25.680 is a pretty picture. 122 00:05:25.720 --> 00:05:27.800 This guy does nothing for three years, but doing nothing 123 00:05:27.879 --> 00:05:29.040 is too tough for him, so he gets a new 124 00:05:29.120 --> 00:05:31.399 job doing nothing. Then he gets tired of doing nothing, 125 00:05:31.399 --> 00:05:32.879 so he takes a vacation and does nothing. 126 00:05:32.879 --> 00:05:33.560 Now you've got it. 127 00:05:33.800 --> 00:05:40.759 Well, if I got it, I caught it from you. 128 00:05:51.319 --> 00:05:53.560 Experience is the best teacher. 129 00:05:53.720 --> 00:05:56.639 Three running steps abound from the springboard, high into the 130 00:05:56.639 --> 00:06:00.360 air and straight down into the water for a perfect. 131 00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:00.920 Jack knife dive. 132 00:06:01.480 --> 00:06:05.800 Once again, the crowd cheers blonde, beautiful Mildred O'Donnell, Metropolitan 133 00:06:05.839 --> 00:06:09.480 Diving Champion of New York. It takes experience to dive 134 00:06:09.639 --> 00:06:11.879 like that. As miss O'Donnell. 135 00:06:11.480 --> 00:06:14.680 Said, experience is the best teacher in diving, and that 136 00:06:14.800 --> 00:06:18.399 goes for smoking too. I learned from experience that camel 137 00:06:18.519 --> 00:06:19.519 is a cigarette for me. 138 00:06:19.959 --> 00:06:23.480 Yes, experience is the best teacher. And the experience of 139 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:26.360 smoking whatever cigarette brands they could get during the wartime 140 00:06:26.360 --> 00:06:31.120 shortage taught millions the differences in cigarette quality. Then is 141 00:06:31.160 --> 00:06:33.879 when folks tea zones that's tea for taste and tea 142 00:06:33.920 --> 00:06:36.959 for throat, learn that camels suited them best. 143 00:06:37.279 --> 00:06:41.240 The result today more people smoke camels than ever before. 144 00:06:41.399 --> 00:06:45.720 Get acquainted with camel's rich, full flavor and cool mildness. 145 00:06:46.199 --> 00:06:50.160 See if camels don't suit your tea zoned to a tea, Yes, 146 00:06:50.879 --> 00:07:02.639 experience is the best teacher. Try a camel, and while 147 00:07:02.680 --> 00:07:05.839 you light up a camel, Skinny Anna sayings my number 148 00:07:05.879 --> 00:07:08.160 one dream came true. 149 00:07:08.079 --> 00:07:09.399 A million times a day. 150 00:07:10.319 --> 00:07:15.160 I pinched myself and said, my number one dream came true. 151 00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:20.759 And if I rubbed my eyes, it's only in surprise 152 00:07:21.519 --> 00:07:26.600 my number one dream came true. I had my number 153 00:07:26.600 --> 00:07:27.519 two and three and. 154 00:07:27.639 --> 00:07:32.560 Four dreams with less of possibilities in each. 155 00:07:34.319 --> 00:07:36.720 I might have planned on dreaming even. 156 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:40.959 More dreams because number one was way beyond me. 157 00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:44.279 I can't believe. 158 00:07:43.959 --> 00:07:47.959 It yet, But if my fate were sad, it did 159 00:07:48.040 --> 00:07:53.480 wh I wanted to. Don't ask me when a while how, 160 00:07:53.959 --> 00:07:57.680 But if I'm here with you, my number one dream 161 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:14.199 came true. 162 00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:20.399 I had my number two and three and four dreams 163 00:08:22.120 --> 00:08:24.839 with us of possibilities in each. 164 00:08:26.680 --> 00:08:32.360 I might have planned on dream even more dream. 165 00:08:31.079 --> 00:08:36.720 Because number one was way beyond read. I can believe 166 00:08:36.759 --> 00:08:37.240 it end. 167 00:08:38.039 --> 00:08:42.240 But if my favorite was set, it did what I'd 168 00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:43.159 wanted to. 169 00:08:44.960 --> 00:08:48.120 Don't ask me when a while, hal, But if I'm. 170 00:08:47.960 --> 00:08:51.399 Here with you, my number one dream. 171 00:08:51.399 --> 00:08:52.440 Came dream. 172 00:09:04.600 --> 00:09:07.759 Pastello, It's time for you to start thinking of the future. 173 00:09:07.759 --> 00:09:10.120 Why don't you get a good job, be industrious, keep 174 00:09:10.159 --> 00:09:12.840 your nose of the grindstone, save your money, and in 175 00:09:12.919 --> 00:09:15.720 ten years you can retire and you won't have to work, Loue. 176 00:09:15.480 --> 00:09:17.639 Why should I go through all that. I'm not working now. 177 00:09:19.480 --> 00:09:20.960 I don't believe you ever had a job. 178 00:09:21.159 --> 00:09:23.240 Oh, guys, a suckingna work habit. What you gotta do 179 00:09:23.279 --> 00:09:24.879 is go on one of those quiz programs to you 180 00:09:24.879 --> 00:09:27.279 other night. My aunt may one nine thousand dollars in cash, 181 00:09:27.360 --> 00:09:29.519 a refrigerator, to washing machines, and a brand new house. 182 00:09:29.519 --> 00:09:32.159 Well that's wonderful. Yeah, and she was one of the losers. 183 00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:38.000 Htella, Please aren't you interested in bettering yourself? 184 00:09:38.240 --> 00:09:42.080 Why don't you find an honest job? What and quit radio? All? 185 00:09:43.720 --> 00:09:45.200 Why don't you look at the ads in the paper 186 00:09:45.240 --> 00:09:46.559 and find a job for yourself? 187 00:09:46.559 --> 00:09:48.159 Oh, I got a job all picked out, abbit, I 188 00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:49.799 stually want to add. In the funny papers it said, sell 189 00:09:49.879 --> 00:09:52.799 twenty four bottles of Chief Schmos Spot Remover and get 190 00:09:52.799 --> 00:09:54.840 a magic lantern free. I can also win the five 191 00:09:54.879 --> 00:09:57.159 hundred dollars grand prize by selling one hundred and seventy 192 00:09:57.159 --> 00:09:58.120 five million buckles. 193 00:09:58.200 --> 00:10:00.960 Oh, gostell, there's only one hundred thirty million people in 194 00:10:00.960 --> 00:10:02.000 the United States, So. 195 00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:03.679 What I got friends in Mexico? 196 00:10:05.600 --> 00:10:08.279 Well, now wait a minute, selling Spot Remover is better 197 00:10:08.320 --> 00:10:09.200 than doing nothing at all. 198 00:10:09.240 --> 00:10:11.159 Come on, let's go over and see this Chief Smow. 199 00:10:19.840 --> 00:10:21.919 Well here it is, Costella. See the sign on the door. 200 00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:24.639 Chief Schmo's, Indian Remedy Company. 201 00:10:24.399 --> 00:10:28.480 Spot Remover, Indian Tonic Scout Treatments and Tommy Hawk's sharpened. 202 00:10:28.519 --> 00:10:32.320 Now, well, come on, let's go in. Well, good morning, gentlemen. 203 00:10:32.600 --> 00:10:34.799 As the Santa fe train said to the freight train, 204 00:10:35.279 --> 00:10:38.320 I am the Chilo. 205 00:10:38.759 --> 00:10:42.200 Tst Seller. Hey, this guy don't look like an Indian Tommy, 206 00:10:42.480 --> 00:10:42.879 sure he is. 207 00:10:42.879 --> 00:10:44.639 I can talk about the way he's dressed. He's wearing 208 00:10:44.639 --> 00:10:47.240 an arrow collar and a bow tie. Get it, bow 209 00:10:47.279 --> 00:10:50.759 and arrow. Get your pictures from Adadic. I'm picturing him 210 00:10:50.759 --> 00:10:51.679 in air tonight. 211 00:10:54.639 --> 00:10:57.320 Chief Smoll, my friend Costella Rigor had in the funny 212 00:10:57.360 --> 00:10:59.799 papers and he'd like to try selling your spot remover. 213 00:11:00.039 --> 00:11:02.639 Well. To be a chief Schmo salesman, Costello, you'll have 214 00:11:02.679 --> 00:11:04.559 to have fire in your voice. You've got to go 215 00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:07.840 with feeling, please with personality. What do you want a 216 00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:10.120 salesman or a bloat torture jee? 217 00:11:10.240 --> 00:11:11.720 Do you think Castella can handle this job? 218 00:11:11.799 --> 00:11:13.639 Costello will have to fill out this application. 219 00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:16.080 Fall I'll read the questions when they apply to you. 220 00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:19.519 Just answer yes. Were you a college graduate? Were you 221 00:11:19.559 --> 00:11:22.840 a high school graduate? Were you're a grammar school graduate? 222 00:11:23.720 --> 00:11:24.440 Were you born? 223 00:11:26.080 --> 00:11:27.919 Well, I'll turn the form over on the other side 224 00:11:27.960 --> 00:11:35.759 and see if it goes any lower. Costello, our personnalit 225 00:11:35.840 --> 00:11:40.279 is highly restricted, specially selected. We demand the highest qualifications. 226 00:11:40.559 --> 00:11:42.919 What makes you think you can be a chief Smoe salesman? 227 00:11:43.159 --> 00:11:44.960 When I show you're adding the funny papers? 228 00:11:45.240 --> 00:11:45.759 Oh good. 229 00:11:45.840 --> 00:11:47.600 For a while I didn't think you had the qualification. 230 00:11:49.240 --> 00:11:50.399 Now, before you go out. 231 00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:52.840 To sell Chief Schmoe Spot Remover, I want to give 232 00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:55.320 you a few points about being a door to door salesman. 233 00:11:55.440 --> 00:11:57.159 I don't want to be a door salesman who wants 234 00:11:57.159 --> 00:11:59.600 to show doors. I want to sell spot Remover. No, 235 00:11:59.759 --> 00:12:01.720 young man, when I say you sell door to door, 236 00:12:02.039 --> 00:12:04.440 I don't mean you sell doors. I mean that you 237 00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:07.440 sell spot remover even though you're selling door to door. 238 00:12:07.519 --> 00:12:08.320 How do you like that? 239 00:12:08.399 --> 00:12:13.679 Now? The Indians are doing our routine now, Costello, when 240 00:12:13.720 --> 00:12:16.320 a housewive tries to slam the door on you make 241 00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:19.000 sure your foot is in the way, but my foot 242 00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:22.000 might get height and your case stick your head and 243 00:12:22.080 --> 00:12:26.519 the dog. Now here's your twenty four bottles of spot 244 00:12:26.559 --> 00:12:27.879 Remover and your sample case. 245 00:12:28.120 --> 00:12:30.759 Sell these and you get the magic land Wait a minute, 246 00:12:30.840 --> 00:12:31.679 let me get this right, jeep. 247 00:12:31.759 --> 00:12:34.320 If Costella sells the twenty four bottles in one day, 248 00:12:34.559 --> 00:12:36.480 he not only gets the magic lantern. 249 00:12:36.159 --> 00:12:38.639 But also a special pride. That is correct. 250 00:12:38.840 --> 00:12:41.720 This week we have a very valuable prize at genuine 251 00:12:41.759 --> 00:12:44.639 twelve foot pole. Twelve foot pole, what's that for? 252 00:12:45.440 --> 00:12:47.799 That's for girls you can't touch with a ten football. 253 00:12:49.639 --> 00:12:51.480 Keep going and sell that spot revolver. 254 00:12:54.159 --> 00:12:57.960 Hey, Costella, there's a woman right over there, Castella, Why don't. 255 00:12:57.759 --> 00:13:00.799 You make her your first customer? Okay, good idea. 256 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:04.200 Pardon me, miss Well if it isn't mister Orbit and 257 00:13:04.480 --> 00:13:07.720 mister Costello, you fought little mom. 258 00:13:07.960 --> 00:13:12.240 You bastell Is Costella is selling sponsor remover. 259 00:13:12.840 --> 00:13:16.480 Oh fine, I'd love to potronize him, but I'm very busy. 260 00:13:16.919 --> 00:13:20.360 I'm on my way to armg ARM studios. Oh g 261 00:13:20.639 --> 00:13:25.799 arm studios. Why haven't you heard arm GM studios. 262 00:13:25.960 --> 00:13:30.360 That's where they make pictures with Clark Gooble, Luna Tuna 263 00:13:30.799 --> 00:13:32.320 and Mooki Runey. 264 00:13:35.039 --> 00:13:37.440 Did you ever yes? 265 00:13:37.679 --> 00:13:40.399 Yes, did you ever act at arms g M with 266 00:13:40.480 --> 00:13:41.559 sponsor Trucy? 267 00:13:42.360 --> 00:13:42.399 No? 268 00:13:42.679 --> 00:13:46.879 But I was a coop boy at Republic with Ruey rugs. 269 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:57.000 Well, I must be tolding along, as we say in Norwegian? 270 00:13:57.480 --> 00:14:01.919 Are that our ros dedobo donka nakid and a lot 271 00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:03.679 of busted bubblegum and a kiss it. 272 00:14:03.720 --> 00:14:11.159 To your tail hill. Well, yeah, stiddy be Causetella selling 273 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:12.960 spotty movement. Would you like to buy some? No? 274 00:14:13.120 --> 00:14:15.320 Thanks, I don't need any Oh you don't, eh, you 275 00:14:15.360 --> 00:14:17.440 certainly do. Look at the stage on your necktie. I 276 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:19.799 can tell everything you head for lunch shrimp, lam chaddle, 277 00:14:19.840 --> 00:14:22.360 lamb chops and coffee. While there's only one clean spot 278 00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:23.399 on your whole necktie. 279 00:14:23.480 --> 00:14:26.720 I know I'm saving that for dessert. Does every wind 280 00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:29.879 him because they'll hey, look he comes, Marylyn Maxwell. Oh, Louis, 281 00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:32.480 the most wonderful thing has happened. I've just been chosen 282 00:14:32.559 --> 00:14:35.279 California's Queen of the Orange Groves, Maryland. 283 00:14:35.440 --> 00:14:37.159 Can I be your smudge pot? 284 00:14:39.799 --> 00:14:42.559 Louis? You're so cute, marylnd. Can I move to your 285 00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:45.200 house tonight? Not tonight, Louis, I'm washing my dog. 286 00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:47.759 How about tomorrow night. But tomorrow night, I'm taking my 287 00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:49.279 dog to the dog show. 288 00:14:49.360 --> 00:14:51.919 How about Saturday night? Saturday night? I'm busy. 289 00:14:52.840 --> 00:14:53.799 What's your dog doing? 290 00:15:01.240 --> 00:15:03.200 Costella is selling spot for removal. Would you like to 291 00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:05.039 buy a bottle? Well? Is it any good? 292 00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:05.960 Oh? 293 00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:08.960 Sure, that's my line. Certainly it's good. I'll show you. Oh, 294 00:15:09.120 --> 00:15:10.720 there's a little spot on your dress now I soak 295 00:15:10.759 --> 00:15:12.799 my handkerchief with a spot remover and rub. 296 00:15:12.639 --> 00:15:13.320 It on your dress. 297 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:19.480 Don't just stand in there, rabbit, throw a breaking around her. 298 00:15:21.320 --> 00:15:22.840 Hello, as you ruined my dress. 299 00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:26.399 Goodbye, Well, Costella, you certainly lost Maryland for a customer. Well, 300 00:15:26.440 --> 00:15:28.600 come on, let's go in here to missus Whittwasher's house. 301 00:15:30.759 --> 00:15:32.679 Oh hello, mister ravit. 302 00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:35.519 Oh my, I wonder who left that garbage can on 303 00:15:35.519 --> 00:15:36.279 my front stool. 304 00:15:37.879 --> 00:15:48.639 Whoa pardon me? That's costil Oh, missus Whittwash. We don't 305 00:15:48.639 --> 00:15:50.759 want to bother you if you have company company by 306 00:15:50.759 --> 00:15:51.600 I'm here all loo. 307 00:15:51.799 --> 00:15:53.559 Then who are those two people looking over your shoulder? 308 00:15:53.799 --> 00:15:59.759 Oh? Pardon me? That's your ears wire? Costella fire fire, 309 00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:04.120 missus web watch. Costella is selling this spot remover? What 310 00:16:04.159 --> 00:16:07.559 were they selling? Spot frey remover? Selling it? Not a drink? 311 00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:08.159 Some much. 312 00:16:09.879 --> 00:16:11.720 Drink spot removers. 313 00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:18.639 Not remove Oh I thought you said, potterymover. 314 00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:22.279 Knock get out of you before I slam the door 315 00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:22.720 on you. 316 00:16:22.759 --> 00:16:26.240 Come on, Castella, come on, okay, no, no, we can't 317 00:16:26.480 --> 00:16:28.840 remember what chief most head. If a woman tries to 318 00:16:28.840 --> 00:16:30.759 close the door, stick your head in it. Go ahead, 319 00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:36.480 slam the door, missus w wash. All right, missus wedwish 320 00:16:36.600 --> 00:16:38.320 you've slammed the door on Costello's hand. 321 00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:42.679 Oh little man, I'll buy all your spot remover every bottle. 322 00:16:42.919 --> 00:16:45.000 I'll stroke your head until the swelling goes down and 323 00:16:45.120 --> 00:16:46.279 out my arms around you. 324 00:16:46.759 --> 00:16:48.919 Cut are you clothes to be? I'll kiss you? Excuse you, 325 00:16:48.919 --> 00:16:52.679 I'm kiss you and kiss you Costello? Can you hear me? 326 00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:56.000 Yes, slam the door on my head again? 327 00:17:06.519 --> 00:17:10.279 Harlen Maxwell from Metro Golden Mayor, producers of Sea of Grass, 328 00:17:13.720 --> 00:17:16.640 and here's Maryland to sing for camel bands everywhere. 329 00:17:16.839 --> 00:17:23.400 Is no greaterlone than what I feel boy you, No 330 00:17:23.759 --> 00:17:33.680 greater alone, no heartsuit. There is no greater thrill than 331 00:17:33.799 --> 00:17:40.079 what you bring to me, No sweetest song than what 332 00:17:40.400 --> 00:17:50.480 you sing to me. You're the sweetest thing I have 333 00:17:50.759 --> 00:17:57.160 ever known. And to think that you are mine alone. 334 00:17:58.279 --> 00:18:02.400 But there is no greater love in. 335 00:18:02.519 --> 00:18:04.599 All the world, It's true. 336 00:18:06.079 --> 00:18:11.880 No greater love than what I bee for. 337 00:18:11.519 --> 00:18:35.640 You, No greater love, no heart so true, no sweetest 338 00:18:35.759 --> 00:18:39.119 song than what you sing. 339 00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:47.319 To me, sweetest. 340 00:18:46.640 --> 00:18:54.240 Thing not No, you are my love. 341 00:18:55.839 --> 00:19:01.559 There is no greater alone in all the world, It's true, 342 00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:09.519 No greater long than baby what A. 343 00:19:19.880 --> 00:19:22.640 Plenty of smokers say that the first time camels and 344 00:19:22.680 --> 00:19:24.920 their tea zones that's tea for taste and tea for 345 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:29.839 throat got acquainted, so mighty pleasant things began to happen. Well, 346 00:19:29.880 --> 00:19:33.200 why not see for yourself if Camel's rich, full flavor 347 00:19:33.480 --> 00:19:36.599 doesn't win a fast and grateful thank you from your taste, 348 00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:41.920 see how your throat reacts to Camel's cool mildness. Experience 349 00:19:42.119 --> 00:19:44.680 in your own tea zone may tell you that camel 350 00:19:44.799 --> 00:19:48.359 is your cigarette too, and you'll understand why so many 351 00:19:48.519 --> 00:19:53.240 doctors prefer camels. Three leading independent research organizations recently asked 352 00:19:53.240 --> 00:19:56.000 this question of one hundred thirteen thousand, five hundred and 353 00:19:56.079 --> 00:19:57.839 ninety seven doctors, what. 354 00:19:57.720 --> 00:20:01.720 Cigarette do you smoke? Doctor? The and name most was Camo. 355 00:20:01.880 --> 00:20:06.000 According to a recent nationwide survey, more doctors more Camels 356 00:20:06.039 --> 00:20:10.160 than any other cigarette. 357 00:20:11.720 --> 00:20:14.079 Well, costell, you sold all the spot remover. Now let's 358 00:20:14.119 --> 00:20:16.200 go in to hear the chief at Schmoe's office and 359 00:20:16.279 --> 00:20:18.039 give him the money and get your magic lantern. 360 00:20:18.599 --> 00:20:20.880 Good morning, whom do you wish to see? I'd like 361 00:20:20.920 --> 00:20:23.880 to see chief smoke. I'm sorry, he's busy. Now he's 362 00:20:23.880 --> 00:20:27.799 holding a pow wow what pow wow? Pow wow, pow wow. 363 00:20:27.640 --> 00:20:30.480 I can hear it as a dog barking somewhere. Why 364 00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:33.960 Castella comes to chief, Ah, gentlemen, As Michael Angelo said 365 00:20:33.960 --> 00:20:36.480 to Venus tomorrow, I see you're back. 366 00:20:36.680 --> 00:20:41.519 And Castella sold all the spottery move a chief, and 367 00:20:41.559 --> 00:20:42.880 he's here to get his magic Landford. 368 00:20:43.000 --> 00:20:45.799 Why he solo at John, I mean that spot r 369 00:20:46.039 --> 00:20:49.240 Yeah yeah, Well, as Slippy de Rosa said when speaking 370 00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:56.279 of his new bride, what a day, And Slippery du 371 00:20:56.359 --> 00:20:59.920 Rocha said to happy Chandler, what a year. 372 00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:09.839 If you don't mind, she just give Costello's magic lantern, 373 00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:10.279 we'll be. 374 00:21:10.279 --> 00:21:12.359 Going that not so fast balls. 375 00:21:12.440 --> 00:21:15.240 By selling that spot remove a, Costello was only qualified 376 00:21:15.240 --> 00:21:17.559 for the magic lantern. Now all he has to do 377 00:21:17.640 --> 00:21:20.400 is help me sell nine hundred navy bottles of Schmos 378 00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:23.880 Indian water. I can sell anything. I even sold insurance. 379 00:21:24.039 --> 00:21:26.519 I Soldlana turn Her some sweater insurance. I sold Darthy 380 00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:29.119 lot more some Sarrong insurance. I even sold Gypsy rose 381 00:21:29.160 --> 00:21:32.559 Lee insurance too. Wait a minute, why did Gypsy rose 382 00:21:32.599 --> 00:21:36.759 Lee have insured these Indians lead shelters lives, don't they. 383 00:21:38.559 --> 00:21:40.279 She took full coverage. 384 00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:43.640 Wait a minute, why should this boy have to sell 385 00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:45.920 nine hundred navy bottles of Schmos Indian Water. 386 00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:48.279 Chief, this sounds like a shady deal. 387 00:21:48.559 --> 00:21:50.559 Mister Abert, there's fifty dollars, isn't it for you? 388 00:21:50.599 --> 00:21:52.240 If you can get Costello to help me? 389 00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:56.799 Oh that's different, Castello. I think it's a splendid idea. 390 00:21:58.640 --> 00:22:01.240 You just said it was a shady deal. The smog 391 00:22:01.359 --> 00:22:02.599 cleared up pretty fast, and. 392 00:22:03.799 --> 00:22:06.400 Gee, what is this? What does this Indian water do? 393 00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:09.680 Smoe's Indian Water is the elixir of youth. It takes 394 00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:12.880 years off your life. Why Al Johnson took one teaspoonful 395 00:22:13.119 --> 00:22:14.240 and you know what happened. 396 00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:19.799 Larry Parks, They covered me. 397 00:22:20.119 --> 00:22:22.359 Come into the laboratory and meet the Indians who make 398 00:22:22.440 --> 00:22:26.720 Schmoe's Indian Water. This is our head chemist, me big Brave, 399 00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:28.119 We're Rabbit and Costello. 400 00:22:28.279 --> 00:22:30.079 You ever listening to our radio program me? 401 00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:36.759