Speaker 1: Listeners. My friend Ariel recently went to Japan and brought
Speaker 1: me back some lovely gifts, one of which was a
Speaker 1: box of peach flavored KitKat bars, because she knows that
Speaker 1: when I travel, I like to try the weird shit.
Speaker 1: I like to try the off menu, left of center shit,
Speaker 1: the bags of potato chips that taste like fish, you
Speaker 1: know those things. But I thought peach flavored kit cats
Speaker 1: sounded kind of delightful. And I showed this to my
Speaker 1: friend Paul. He looks like he's gonna vomit right now,
Speaker 1: just as I'm talking. Get ready, friend, get ready? Okay.
Speaker 1: I showed them to Paul, and the look he gave
Speaker 1: me it's as though I had been like, would you
Speaker 1: like to try calves brains? They're raw?
Speaker 2: Sounds disgusting.
Speaker 1: You're sure you don't want to try these raw calf brains?
Speaker 1: They're delicious? It was a baby like. That's the look
Speaker 1: he gave me, like I was committing both, like a
Speaker 1: crime against culinary excellence and a crime against humanity.
Speaker 3: Correct, is fucking peach kit cat? What's your problem?
Speaker 2: It sounds disgusting. I stand by it.
Speaker 3: Guess what we're doing here today, Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 3: Paul Kola, open that kik cat. He's eating it.
Speaker 1: Okay, he took one half of one, tiny little one,
Speaker 1: so he's eating like like a.
Speaker 3: A look on his face, he's eating it.
Speaker 2: Here's what I'll say, as promised, it tastes like a
Speaker 2: peach fucking kit cat. The inside is unchanged, the outside
Speaker 2: is clearly like some kind of imitation white chocolate, and
Speaker 2: then it's infused with I'm gonna generously say, like freeze
Speaker 2: dried peach powder.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I can still taste it. It kind of coats your
Speaker 2: mouth like an oil.
Speaker 3: Uh huh uh huh. That's how you know it's good.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I can perform, but this taste
Speaker 2: in my mouth.
Speaker 4: Title of your sex tape, Hey on Fall in America
Speaker 4: and this is that aged.
Speaker 1: Well, yesterday's pop culture.
Speaker 2: Today and we are in period peace June. All of
Speaker 2: these films this month have been set before nineteen forty.
Speaker 1: That's right. We picked nineteen forty as a random cut
Speaker 1: off date.
Speaker 2: Yep. We decided we didn't want to do any World
Speaker 2: War two films, so we would just cut those out.
Speaker 1: Honestly, we should have gone further back and just been like,
Speaker 1: I can't with these World War two movies.
Speaker 2: I absolutely cannot.
Speaker 1: I have to say, though, a couple of people decided
Speaker 1: to go rogue and send us Atonement anyway, which I get.
Speaker 1: It's a hottest fuck movie with the hottest fuck sex scene.
Speaker 3: But again, no World War Two.
Speaker 2: We could not have.
Speaker 1: So we decided to do something you know, not traumatic
Speaker 1: at all today, like.
Speaker 2: A musical.
Speaker 1: Erica.
Speaker 2: Before we get to the musical, we do have a
Speaker 2: couple of five star Apple podcast reviews. Would you like
Speaker 2: to read the first one?
Speaker 1: Yes? Please?
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Our first review comes from Funky and the title is
Speaker 1: I have since peed my pants.
Speaker 2: Okay, since this review, you think, just.
Speaker 3: Like since this morning, since this morning, girl, you and.
Speaker 2: Me both, no matter where you are, I may peed
Speaker 2: a little bit.
Speaker 1: If there's if there's a sneeze happening, run away for me,
Speaker 1: get away.
Speaker 2: Erica comes into my house, just hands me a Umbrella's
Speaker 2: like just in case, just in case, just in.
Speaker 1: Case there's a sneeze or a or a cough. You
Speaker 1: would think I'd had ten children. That's not the case,
Speaker 1: not the case at all, all right, g Funky rights canonically.
Speaker 3: Just look like Mudflaps, g Funky Rights.
Speaker 1: Canonically, the first episode I listened to was Newsy's because
Speaker 1: I was that drama kid, love you, Love You. Then
Speaker 1: on a road trip, my husband demanded raising Arizona. Oh
Speaker 1: I love that movie, it's so good. After hearing the
Speaker 1: end of your American Psycho review, just bouncing around and
Speaker 1: picked off his space. And then I want the listeners
Speaker 1: to know this is all caps from here on out.
Speaker 1: Peede my pants at work. Not a good look.
Speaker 2: Not a good look.
Speaker 1: It's fair they right, not a good look. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: have zero idea how I found you. That's how they
Speaker 1: end it. Excellent review, excellent review. So much drama and then.
Speaker 3: You just pieced out.
Speaker 2: Yep, you have a supporting character. Your husband is in
Speaker 2: this review. We love a husband joining the listenership. We
Speaker 2: love the proselytizing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely so, thank you, thank you. We apologize for
Speaker 1: your dry cleaner.
Speaker 2: And there are underwear for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah, I haven't gone there yet, not yet,
Speaker 1: but it's coming.
Speaker 2: Oh I got it for you for your birthday.
Speaker 3: That day's around the corner.
Speaker 2: We do have another review. This is from just now
Speaker 2: with an exclamation point right one note, ooh, this podcast
Speaker 2: has everything, Paul Erica, Movies, TV show, PSAs, hot Takes,
Speaker 2: Paul cracking himself up, Miss Piggy, Audrey, Hepburn, Lorraine Broco,
Speaker 2: and more more, even more, more so, much more. Come
Speaker 2: for the reviews, stay for the dork jokes. I love
Speaker 2: your show. Only one note, my volume has to be
Speaker 2: turned up pretty high to hear you too. Oh wait,
Speaker 2: hang on, I will address that one second. Either way,
Speaker 2: I am a loyal listener. Thanks to my friend Morteganza
Speaker 2: Extravaganza for telling me about y'all. That was an issue
Speaker 2: in our earlier episodes. I have since fixed it, so
Speaker 2: when you hit like halfway through the back catalog, the
Speaker 2: volume should fix itself.
Speaker 3: Volume does get fixed.
Speaker 1: If you heard how loud I am in real life,
Speaker 1: you would understand Paul's hesitation to turn the volume up
Speaker 1: all the way in our early episodes.
Speaker 2: Yes, so yes, I have since fixed that. One day,
Speaker 2: when I have more time, I will go back and
Speaker 2: continue fixing all the older episodes. But I don't have
Speaker 2: the time.
Speaker 1: We simply just the time.
Speaker 2: I just don't.
Speaker 1: Also, just one small note, It's Catherine, not Audrey, but
Speaker 1: I will work on an Audrey if that is your desire.
Speaker 2: I did do Audrey Hepburn during breakfast at Tiffany's. We
Speaker 2: did a lot of Audrey.
Speaker 3: We did a lot of Audrey there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I feel like Audrey needs to get more
Speaker 1: plays because I think they probably meant Catherine Hepburn.
Speaker 2: Okay, just now, g Funky. Thank you so much for
Speaker 2: these reviews. If you would like ad age well Tope bag,
Speaker 2: please let us know this is you. I would so
Speaker 2: happily send it off for you. Erica, what is the
Speaker 2: musical that we are talking about today?
Speaker 1: Buckle up, kids, It's going to.
Speaker 2: Be a bumpy carriage ride.
Speaker 1: Ah. Today's film is the nineteen fifty four musical Seven
Speaker 1: Brides for Seven Brothers.
Speaker 2: This was requested by Amy and Mary, Beth, Tanya, Jessica,
Speaker 2: Mary Kimberly, Mara, Shannon Fay, Emily, Kelly, Erica, Olivia, and
Speaker 2: a couple of people whose names do not appear on
Speaker 2: those social media profiles.
Speaker 1: Also, this has been request a lot over the years,
Speaker 1: Like every time there's a month where it kind of
Speaker 1: fits in, like a musical month of you or something
Speaker 1: like that, or like.
Speaker 2: Comes up every November.
Speaker 1: Oldies, Yeah, like classic movies, some like five people are
Speaker 1: like you guys, there's a fever dream that you have
Speaker 1: yet to address.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So seven Brides were Seven brothers, as Eric I said,
Speaker 2: was a musical. The music was written by Geene DePaul,
Speaker 2: the lyrics were by Johnny Mercer, and the screenplay was
Speaker 2: by Albert Hackett, Francis Goodrich, and Dorothy Kingsley. That's at
Speaker 2: least two women on that team.
Speaker 1: Look, I'm going to defend this movie more than you
Speaker 1: all think I'm going to defend this movie, huh.
Speaker 3: But like, it's not just that there's women writing on it.
Speaker 3: There's at least five five people looked at.
Speaker 2: This script and said two thumbs up.
Speaker 1: At least five people were like green light, no notes,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, really, are you sure?
Speaker 2: It was based on the short story The Sobin Woman
Speaker 2: by Stephen Vincent Benet, which was in turn based on
Speaker 2: the Roman legend The Rape of the Women. I believe
Speaker 2: it's pronounced.
Speaker 3: What a fun thing to base a musical on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what a hilarious rump?
Speaker 2: Is there a musical based on the rape of Lucrease?
Speaker 2: Is that how you say that?
Speaker 1: I don't know Lucretia lucre She's Roman, after all, there
Speaker 1: should be a musical based on that woman who beheaded
Speaker 1: the guy Judith and Herodotus. Oh yeah, I watched that musical.
Speaker 3: There is a Salome opera.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, can you watch that? U?
Speaker 2: Hey listeners, future Paul here Judith and Holofernes or Holofernes,
Speaker 2: not Herodotus. Herodotus was a historian. Judith beheaded Halofernies. Didn't
Speaker 2: want anyone to get on Jeopardy and they get an
Speaker 2: answer wrong and then blame me for it. Okay, bye,
Speaker 2: all right. So this movie was directed by Stanley Donan.
Speaker 2: It stars Howard Keel, Jane Powell, Jeff Richards, Julie Numar,
Speaker 2: Matt Maddox, Rude Lee, Mark Platt, Norma Daggat, Jacques d'armis,
Speaker 2: Virginia Gibson, Tommy Rawl, and Russ Tamblin.
Speaker 1: I adore Russ Hamblin every time I see him.
Speaker 2: Amber Tamblin's father.
Speaker 1: Amber Tambler's father also notably Riff from from West Side Story.
Speaker 2: Like a day ago, when Erica mentioned the Riff from
Speaker 2: West Side Story to me, I had not made that connection.
Speaker 2: I was like, that guy looks familiar and kind of
Speaker 2: presumed it was because he's Amber Tamblin's father, and I'm
Speaker 2: just seeing Amber Tamblin's face on on a different human
Speaker 2: And then you said he was riff and I almost
Speaker 2: fell over. Holy shit, you're right.
Speaker 1: He's I've never known something about a musical that you didn't.
Speaker 1: It was a weird feeling. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Speaker 1: was nominated for five Academy Awards, including Best Picture. What guys,
Speaker 1: I'm reading that for the first time. What what? Yeah? Okay,
Speaker 1: I have to google. Sorry, I'm stopping to google. What
Speaker 1: else was nominated that year? I can tell you now
Speaker 1: because Paul wrote this sound for me and lost to
Speaker 1: On the Waterfront, wildly different movie. Excuse me, I need
Speaker 1: to know what else there was was in the running. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm back. Some of these are not I would say
Speaker 1: like classic films. For example, The Cane Mutiny and The
Speaker 1: Country Girl were also both nominated, and I have to
Speaker 1: admit I don't really know those movies.
Speaker 2: I've only read the book of The Cane Mutiny, which
Speaker 2: was great.
Speaker 1: But On the Waterfront was there? And from here to
Speaker 1: a Tourney?
Speaker 3: What was nineteen fifty four? How did this make it?
Speaker 6: In?
Speaker 1: Were there only five movies made?
Speaker 2: They saw no problems.
Speaker 3: It's nineteen fifty four.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how much did people jack off to musicals back then?
Speaker 1: They really did, They really did. This is after Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep irping on this, this is after Singing in.
Speaker 3: The Rain came out. Singing in the Rain was already
Speaker 3: a thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we know what a good musical is, we know
Speaker 2: what it.
Speaker 1: Like, truly brilliant, not only good musical, but like the
Speaker 1: perfect film musical.
Speaker 3: And then they were like, we can do this again.
Speaker 1: Hang on u huh. Nailed it, nailed it, nailed me.
Speaker 1: I can't believe this was nominated for Best Picture. Okay
Speaker 1: it lost. It won one Academy Award for Best Scoring
Speaker 1: of a Musical. Fine, sure, whatever, I.
Speaker 2: Got a sad. Actually, while you're on that page, look
Speaker 2: up who was nominated against. Because this music is unmemorable.
Speaker 2: It sounds like every song that was cut in the
Speaker 2: Out of Town try out for Oklahoma God.
Speaker 1: Okay, I take wow, Okay, the movies that came out
Speaker 1: that year. I keep just the musicals that came out
Speaker 1: that year.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is bullshit. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: This was nominated Best Original Score against Carmen Jones.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: The Glenn Miller story a star is born. Oh, come on,
Speaker 1: and there's no business like show business.
Speaker 2: This is an injustice.
Speaker 3: This is a fucking injustice.
Speaker 1: I've never seen the Glenn Miller story, but I've seen
Speaker 1: all the others, and like, come the fuck on.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Jacques d'arm bis, one of the principal dancers, was
Speaker 2: on loan from the New York City Ballet. He had
Speaker 2: to leave before filming was completed. And for the eagle
Speaker 2: eyed viewer, a fun thing to do is is Jacques
Speaker 2: dan Blois in this scene that's supposed to have all
Speaker 2: the brothers, because there's some in there that he's not
Speaker 2: that's so punchy. He just disappeared.
Speaker 3: There's so many people in this movie, so many, so
Speaker 3: easy to lose track of.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the only one you can always find is the
Speaker 2: hot one, the.
Speaker 1: Hot brother, hot brother Benjamin.
Speaker 2: And also Julie Numar, because she's Julie Numar. She pops
Speaker 2: and she's five eleven, so she towers over everybody else,
Speaker 2: powers over the other women.
Speaker 1: And those two are connected, those two like the two
Speaker 1: that are tired up in this movie. Yeah. Seven Brides
Speaker 1: for Seven Brothers has an eighty nine percent critical rating
Speaker 1: on Rotten Tomatoes and an eighty seven percent audience score.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I'm not gonna lie. I had fun
Speaker 1: watching it. I really had fun.
Speaker 2: It's impossible to not have fun watching it. That, however,
Speaker 2: does not make it a good movie.
Speaker 1: The critical rating is absurd.
Speaker 2: I will say, like again, I agree with Erica. I
Speaker 2: had a good time watching this movie. It genuinely features
Speaker 2: one of the greatest dance sequences of movie musical history.
Speaker 2: Outside of that, I don't know what there really is
Speaker 2: to recommend it. The songs are not good, the story
Speaker 2: is insane.
Speaker 1: Insane, and like, nineteen fifty four is not that long
Speaker 1: ago like this.
Speaker 3: If this were like.
Speaker 1: If this were like a movie from nineteen ten or whatever,
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: Know, if this was the only movie that was made
Speaker 2: by like the Neanderthals, You're like, okay, okay, sure, like
Speaker 2: the Romans actually got their hands on movie making technology. Yes,
Speaker 2: but I look, I would critically, I'm trying to like
Speaker 2: take some of the Veneer of Today off of it,
Speaker 2: not all of it, but like some of the Veneer
Speaker 2: off of it, because like it, obviously the backgrounds look
Speaker 2: very fake, but that I don't care about that so fake.
Speaker 3: It's I kind of think that's charming exactly.
Speaker 2: I find it charged.
Speaker 3: They're on a stage, which.
Speaker 1: They yeah, yeah, it moves fast.
Speaker 2: It does some of the comedy works I think. I laughed. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it doesn't quite get to camp, but it gets.
Speaker 1: Closed close, and Jane Powell is doing the lord's work.
Speaker 1: She is She is pulling this fucking movie up on
Speaker 1: like hrking it up a hill on her back.
Speaker 2: She is on her little five foot one back. All right, Erica,
Speaker 2: when did you first see Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?
Speaker 3: Yesterday?
Speaker 1: Okay, yesterday for the first and probably last time? How
Speaker 1: about you, Paul, when did you first see Seven Brides
Speaker 1: for Seven Brothers?
Speaker 2: Yesterday? I had heard of this and I went in
Speaker 2: with eyes somewhat open, because, as we had said, so
Speaker 2: many people have requested it, being like you guys, So
Speaker 2: I knew it was gonna be like a wild and I.
Speaker 1: Read not the synopsis, but like the tagline, the log
Speaker 1: line before I started watching it, so I was like,
Speaker 1: what is this?
Speaker 2: What I basically expected was like, there's gonna be of
Speaker 2: the seven brothers, I would say, there's gonna be one
Speaker 2: main and then probably two people who get like a
Speaker 2: lot to do, and then the other four are kind
Speaker 2: of gonna get rushed. But I thought we were gonna
Speaker 2: have like parallel plots of a different lots of them
Speaker 2: wooing people. Okay, that is not what it's about. We're
Speaker 2: about to tell you. That is not the that's not
Speaker 2: the way the story goes.
Speaker 3: No, they don't have time for that.
Speaker 1: They gotta rush through this movie.
Speaker 2: It is wild.
Speaker 3: Look, it's old fashioned to the point. I think it
Speaker 3: is camp.
Speaker 1: Actually, I don't know.
Speaker 3: It's hard to say. It's you know, the camp is
Speaker 3: hard to define.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like art is like I don't know what,
Speaker 1: but I know when I see it, like, yeah, it
Speaker 1: isn't quite but it's so close to camp.
Speaker 2: I think what pulls it back from camp for me
Speaker 2: is how good the dancing is. Because the dancing is
Speaker 2: so amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's like a veneer of like premium filmmaking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's just not quite bad enough. I think
Speaker 2: because the performers are good. All of the performers are
Speaker 2: like some of the some of the dancers who have
Speaker 2: to say lines can't really act at all, but like
Speaker 2: that's fine. I don't care if they're a little wooden. But like,
Speaker 2: I think the dancing pulls it away from that. It
Speaker 2: could get there. I know.
Speaker 1: We'll discuss, We'll discuss.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll come back to this. H Erica the tagline
Speaker 2: for seven brides or seven brothers once. First of all,
Speaker 2: I want everyone to all cap ah caps yep. A wonderful, youthful,
Speaker 2: loving kissing musical about seven stolen sweeties and their shotgun weddings.
Speaker 2: What a Those are not shotgun weddings.
Speaker 1: They are though, like at the end there's three men
Speaker 1: in the background. We're shotguns.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, they're literal shotgun weddings, but we perceive that
Speaker 2: as these women are all pregnant, which they are not.
Speaker 3: No, but that's a modern take on that.
Speaker 2: Okay, fair enough.
Speaker 1: Back then, like literally, any if a woman was quote
Speaker 1: unquote ruined, and that could just mean anything, that could
Speaker 1: just mean like she was seen holding hands with a
Speaker 1: fella without a chaperone present, then that's it. She's ruined.
Speaker 1: Shotgun wedding. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, So that's funny called though,
Speaker 1: God imagine if they were all pregnant.
Speaker 2: Oh shall I read the iTunes synopsis?
Speaker 7: Sure?
Speaker 2: All right. When the eldest of seven Oregon Frontier brothers
Speaker 2: announces his marriage plans, the others follow his advice and
Speaker 2: kidnap six beautiful women of their own. It's a rollicking
Speaker 2: musical delight as the brothers compete for the women affections
Speaker 2: with a raucous song and dance. Nominated for five Academy Awards,
Speaker 2: including Best Picture and Best Screenplay, Oh.
Speaker 1: My God, Blowing my Mind Best Screenplay.
Speaker 2: It won an Oscar for its Outstanding Musical Score, starring
Speaker 2: Howard Keel, Jane Powell, Oscar nominee Russ Tamblin, and the
Speaker 2: Original Catwoman Julie Numar. Directed by Stanley Donan.
Speaker 1: If I read this side tune synopsis, I would it
Speaker 1: would force me to watch this movie because A I
Speaker 1: love a lot of those actors be nominated for things.
Speaker 1: I bet it's.
Speaker 2: Amazing, it's fantastic.
Speaker 3: I bet it's so clever and well written.
Speaker 2: You know, we read a synopsis and the synopsis says
Speaker 2: something wrong, we will interrupt me, like that's not correct.
Speaker 2: Everything said in this description of the plot is correct.
Speaker 1: Yes, Look, it's not just that the premise is wild,
Speaker 1: but because you can always work around that like that
Speaker 1: absolutely peasy to fix or not even fixed. But you
Speaker 1: like lean lean it did right. It's just so one note,
Speaker 1: I'm like simple and like it is what it is,
Speaker 1: and like it's not a bad movie, but it's not
Speaker 1: a good one.
Speaker 2: No, it's it's a bad movie that's fun.
Speaker 3: I would say it's a bad movie that's fun.
Speaker 1: And I can't believe it was nominated for Best Picture
Speaker 1: and Best Screenplay.
Speaker 2: Erica, do you have an actual synopsis for Seven Brides
Speaker 2: for Seven Brothers?
Speaker 1: The amount of red pubes that woman has to fish out.
Speaker 2: Of her bathroom drain, you know, they've never done it,
Speaker 2: so when she first gets there, she has to snake
Speaker 2: the whole drain.
Speaker 3: She's a snake the drain.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she pulls a red tabby of orange cat out
Speaker 1: of that fucking drain.
Speaker 2: It's a full Ronald McDonald wig McDonald.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a full Shirley McLean wig.
Speaker 2: It's Meredith from Brave, just coming out of that brain. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Just the amount of red pubes in that woman's bathroom
Speaker 1: is disgusting.
Speaker 2: They're sentient at this point. Aha, all right, everyone stick around.
Speaker 2: We're gonna take a short commercial break here. When we
Speaker 2: get we're gonna take you through Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.
Speaker 2: If you don't want to listen to commercials. All you
Speaker 2: have to do is hop over to patreon dot com
Speaker 2: Flash that Age Wel podcast, sign up for any paid tier.
Speaker 2: You will get ad free episodes in your feed.
Speaker 5: We will be right back, and we're back.
Speaker 2: We open in the Oregon Territory in eighteen fifty. Okay,
Speaker 2: not even a state yet. This is the wild Wild West,
Speaker 2: h as ginger backwoodsman Adam Pontepee played by Howard Keel,
Speaker 2: arrives in town on a horse drawn wagon. How do
Speaker 2: we know he's a backwoodsman Erica because his costume is
Speaker 2: all brown, swede, leather and fringe. He looks like if
Speaker 2: the village people had a sixth, third, or seventh member
Speaker 2: and that member was called frontiersman.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that member was called Daniel Boone.
Speaker 2: Daniel Boone, right, yeah, are there six or seven village
Speaker 2: Now there's six village people, so he would be the seventh.
Speaker 2: The cop, the gi the construct worker, the Indian, the
Speaker 2: leather man, I.
Speaker 1: Think that's it. The accountant, the.
Speaker 3: Actuary, the bus driver, the night.
Speaker 1: Nurse, the nurse, wet nurse.
Speaker 2: Whoever's employing these nurses has a.
Speaker 1: Lot of money, yeah, the lion.
Speaker 2: The sex worker, the rabbi. Oh, the cowboys.
Speaker 1: I desperately want there to be a rabbi in the
Speaker 1: village people.
Speaker 2: The cowboy, that's.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, you can't call yourself a New York band
Speaker 1: if you don't have a rabbis true.
Speaker 2: That's true. Korean deli owner.
Speaker 1: The Greek diner owner.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, yep, all right. So Adam heads to They got
Speaker 2: the Mexican man serving a little Italy pretending to be Italian.
Speaker 1: The amount of Spanish here in Italy is it's incredible, incredible. Hah.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Adam heads to the Big Speed General Store and
Speaker 2: announces that he's there to pick up supplies and also,
Speaker 2: as it turns out, a bride. He walks over to
Speaker 2: the counter and he says, you wouldn't have a wife
Speaker 2: under the counter over there, I'm looking for a wife.
Speaker 1: Great, excellent.
Speaker 2: As we said, he's very ginger, so ginger, and he
Speaker 2: has a beard that I believe his spirit comes onto
Speaker 2: his face. The beard and the facial hair really combine
Speaker 2: to give a I'm I'm playing mister Applegate and dam
Speaker 2: Yankees in a local community theater production. Mister Applegate and
Speaker 2: dam Yankees is the devil. Just so everyone knows. That's it.
Speaker 2: I realized that was a deep cut after I said it.
Speaker 1: But everyone he met me, okay, I have a wildly
Speaker 1: hot take on this. Oh I find him hotter with
Speaker 1: the beard than without the beard.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as soon as he shaved his beard, I was like, no,
Speaker 1: But with the beard, I was kind of into it. Well,
Speaker 1: he is a tall drink of water.
Speaker 2: For Oh, he's six foot three, so he is very tall.
Speaker 3: He's a tall drink of water.
Speaker 1: He's very broad shouldered, masculine, has that deep voice. Yep,
Speaker 1: I was into it.
Speaker 2: I was not into it until the beard came off,
Speaker 2: and then I was like, Okay, I see it.
Speaker 1: I saw yeah. To me, that like head. His face
Speaker 1: is so ordinary and average. He's like a nice looking guy.
Speaker 1: It's not like he's ugly or anything. But there's something
Speaker 1: about the beard.
Speaker 2: You needed the spice.
Speaker 1: I needed spice, little spice.
Speaker 2: Okay. So he tells the big spis really the audience,
Speaker 2: because the big Spies would all know this, But he
Speaker 2: lives with six brothers. The whole cabin is a goddamn
Speaker 2: pig stye. The food sucks, and the only solution is
Speaker 2: to marry a woman to cook and clean. No lies
Speaker 2: detected there's nothing else to be done to clean the
Speaker 2: cabin except to get a woman to do it. That's it.
Speaker 1: And you know what's so much easier than just hiring
Speaker 1: someone is marriage.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: Marriage so so much cheaper and so much easier.
Speaker 2: It's so funny because they could just say, like we
Speaker 2: work at the farm all day, we work on the
Speaker 2: barn all day, like they are maintaining like a lot
Speaker 2: of land, and like we don't have time. It's still
Speaker 2: not great to be like I'm now going to marry
Speaker 2: immediately to do this, but like it just seems like
Speaker 2: they're slobs since.
Speaker 3: Eighteen fifty, so I get it.
Speaker 1: No one trained them how to do anything at like
Speaker 1: any domestic chores.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure they know how to wipe their asses, but.
Speaker 1: Like honestly, like someone will go up there and clean
Speaker 1: it like once a week for them for like the
Speaker 1: right amount of money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh god, do you think she wipes their asses?
Speaker 2: I think she teaches them how Oh no, you That
Speaker 2: first load of laundry is skid mark central marks.
Speaker 1: That first load of laundry is the fast and the
Speaker 1: furious Tokyo drifts. That's so rude.
Speaker 2: That took me a second, but once I got it,
Speaker 2: absolutely delicious.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you like it.
Speaker 2: The most delicious reference to skid marks I've ever heard,
Speaker 2: missus Bixby, and I was very happy to hear this.
Speaker 2: Thinks this entire plan sucks out loud and she tells
Speaker 2: out of.
Speaker 1: Immediately, She's like, uh, dude, yeah, a, that's not how
Speaker 1: women work. B that's not how marriage works. See, that's
Speaker 1: not how this convenience store works.
Speaker 3: Yep, the fuck is wrong with you.
Speaker 2: Besides, she says, you'll never find a woman to marry
Speaker 2: you in one day because he's got to get back
Speaker 2: to the farm, and mister Bixby tells him that the
Speaker 2: men outnumber the women ten to one in town. Adam's
Speaker 2: gonna have to go back east to find a ride.
Speaker 2: These women. This is a valuable resource. We're thin on
Speaker 2: the ground on women.
Speaker 1: It's so funny because the amount of single women there
Speaker 1: are in this Like in the movie, I'm like, even
Speaker 1: if men are out numbered ten to one, all the
Speaker 1: women are ten. They don't have a single ugly lady
Speaker 1: in that town, even the ones that he rejects later
Speaker 1: because she's like too tall, too short, too blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, those are all ten Yeah.
Speaker 2: All the women they hire to play like the Ultimate
Speaker 2: Brides are dancers, so all they're all like statuesque and
Speaker 2: courseted to for their waists to be.
Speaker 3: Like Julie Numar.
Speaker 1: I didn't google it in the end because I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to know, but like, I feel like
Speaker 1: she might have had like that surgery to remove some
Speaker 1: ribs because her corset is corseted so tightly the whole movie,
Speaker 1: like like you could honestly put your hands around waist truly,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So just as mix missus Bixby is like, get on
Speaker 1: out of here with that nonsense of wouldn't you know it?
Speaker 1: Four gorgeous young women walking to the store, and Adam's like, well,
Speaker 1: hello ladies, But mister Bixby tells him that these women
Speaker 1: are all spoken for. Like someone someone already came up
Speaker 1: at this.
Speaker 2: Someone put put a post it on their forehead, peed
Speaker 2: in a circle around them.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, someone someone at the tag Sail was like
Speaker 1: I want this one. Adam is unconcerned. The women can
Speaker 1: always change their minds, and again Adam is not He's
Speaker 1: a tall drink of water. Yeah he's not. He's not
Speaker 1: ugly to look at.
Speaker 2: He's like standing behind the four women, and they cannot
Speaker 2: help but be like hello, like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like fanning themselves.
Speaker 2: The man has an energy.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: He strides over oozing masculinity, and the women can't help
Speaker 1: but be like a hi. Sir Adam thinks the women
Speaker 1: look nice, but he's not deciding who he's gonna marry
Speaker 1: until he gets a look at all the local talent.
Speaker 1: He says this out loud. I want the audience to
Speaker 1: know this is not an internal thought that he has.
Speaker 3: He expresses this thought to the women.
Speaker 1: He's like, you all look great. I bet there's someone better.
Speaker 1: Excuse me.
Speaker 3: He's so confident, Paul, wouldn't you know it?
Speaker 1: He burst out into song. He strides through the one
Speaker 1: horse town and sings, how does bless your beautiful hide?
Speaker 2: Guy, bless your beautiful hide, wherever you may be.
Speaker 1: Ah, there's a line that is like, don't know your name,
Speaker 1: but I'm staking my claim unless your eyes are cross.
Speaker 1: That's what we're dealing with. That's the general tenor. And
Speaker 1: then there's one woman that walks the town and she's
Speaker 1: maybe a size eight compared to thegether with.
Speaker 2: I think she's a size four like she is legitimately.
Speaker 1: Remember in Devilware's Prada when everyone's calling Anne Hathaway fat.
Speaker 1: Exactly that situation in this movie where he's like looking
Speaker 1: at women and he's like, you know, too tall, too short,
Speaker 1: and this woman walks by him and he goes heavenly eyes,
Speaker 1: but oh that size.
Speaker 2: The first time. And this is just me hearing it wrong.
Speaker 2: I heard heavenly eyes, but oh those thighs, and I
Speaker 2: was like, come on, and then I rebound. I was like,
Speaker 2: it's not better, but it's.
Speaker 1: Worse actually, because at least if she had like really
Speaker 1: bad thighs, I could be like, well, okay, I don't
Speaker 1: know what's under those skirts. Maybe she has terrible thighs.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe they're deformed somehow. I don't know, but oh no,
Speaker 1: heavenly eyes, but oh that size.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, bitch, don't.
Speaker 1: You want a hearty girl? Come on, you're about to
Speaker 1: haul her up into your mountain retreat. Don't you want
Speaker 1: someone who's gonna stay tough in the winter?
Speaker 2: You want to work horse? Yes, you want someone's gonna
Speaker 2: be able to get through that tough winter with you.
Speaker 2: Oh God. You may think this song is about a cow,
Speaker 2: it's in fact about his perfect woman. And I want
Speaker 2: to clarify something for you, Erica, because I didn't know
Speaker 2: this until this morning. I have written the title of
Speaker 2: the song bless your Beautiful Hide, with all the words
Speaker 2: spelled and shall we say the traditional way?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah. This morning I was gonking at Spotify. I was
Speaker 2: looking at the songs just to be like, can I
Speaker 2: remember how these songs? Most of these songs somewhat go,
Speaker 2: you know, so I can do what I just did
Speaker 2: for you. The title of this song is bless your
Speaker 2: like days of Your Beautiful Hide, which means that the
Speaker 2: lyricist and the composer sat down. Johnny Mercer, whoever wrote
Speaker 2: this music I can't remember his name, sat down, and
Speaker 2: we're like, what if the actor doesn't get that it's
Speaker 2: supposed to kind of be backwoodsy. Maybe we should misspell
Speaker 2: a word in the title of the song to be
Speaker 2: sure that he knows.
Speaker 1: But let's also make it a homophone for the actual words,
Speaker 1: so that zero people would understand the context of what
Speaker 1: we're doing.
Speaker 2: We could write yeer bless your Beautiful Hide, which also
Speaker 2: does that, but your is also wrong right.
Speaker 1: Only us and the person singing it would know that.
Speaker 2: It's a message for the actor, So the actor.
Speaker 3: Knows I'm gonna hit something.
Speaker 2: I will say this. I want to say this too.
Speaker 2: I think Howard Keel's voice is beautiful. He has a
Speaker 2: beautiful resonant baritone voice.
Speaker 1: It's also nice because everyone actually does their own singing.
Speaker 1: I think in the movie, I think it's like you
Speaker 1: told me yesterday.
Speaker 2: One person, one of the guys, gets dubbed, and then
Speaker 2: a lot of all the women outside of Jane Powell,
Speaker 2: who's the lead. I think most of them are dubbed
Speaker 2: because they are primarily dancers.
Speaker 1: But these two are singing like Jane Powell and Howard
Speaker 1: kill have gorgeous voices.
Speaker 2: Near the end of his number, he spots a woman
Speaker 2: out behind the local tavern, Choppin Wood. She's got a
Speaker 2: long handled axe. It could not look less like an axe,
Speaker 2: but that's what it is. This is Millie, played by
Speaker 2: the aforementioned Jane Powell. She is the tavern's cook, also
Speaker 2: apparently the taverns woodswoman server probably hostess, bar back janitor like.
Speaker 2: This woman's doing everything. She rushes in to serve a
Speaker 2: table of hungry men folk the stew that she's made,
Speaker 2: and Adam walks in eager tests out his potential bride's
Speaker 2: skill in the kitchen.
Speaker 1: This is crucial, remember, yeah, because the food sucks where
Speaker 1: he is, he.
Speaker 2: Can chop wood. He needs someone who can make a
Speaker 2: good stew.
Speaker 1: What have these men been eating, is my question, because
Speaker 1: this is not like power bars did not exist right
Speaker 1: back then. What on earth did one of them have
Speaker 1: to cook for the other other six brothers and like
Speaker 1: just kept making oatmeal every single.
Speaker 2: I'm guessing they have like an entire silo of beans
Speaker 2: and they just eat beans and fart. Oh no, the
Speaker 2: entire house smells like a fart all the time.
Speaker 1: The house like like the hinges are blown off the
Speaker 1: doors with this.
Speaker 2: They can't light a match during the winter or else.
Speaker 2: The whole house just blows. Because that's why, I mean,
Speaker 2: a woman like we have to fart less because it's
Speaker 2: gonna be cold soon.
Speaker 6: Ha h.
Speaker 2: So they lock eyes across a crowded table, and Millie
Speaker 2: is so taken with Adam that she spoons a large
Speaker 2: helping of stew right onto another diner's lap. I gotta
Speaker 2: say they are calling this stew and it's being served
Speaker 2: the ladle, but they're serving it onto a plate. It
Speaker 2: holds shit, and it's being eaten with a fork. I
Speaker 2: do not understand what this food is.
Speaker 3: Haha.
Speaker 2: Adam tries it, he deems it worthy of marrying, and
Speaker 2: he and Millie have this immediate fassant. I will give
Speaker 2: them this. These two actors have chemistry.
Speaker 1: Oh, she is so convincing. The minute she sees him,
Speaker 1: she goes like goggly eye.
Speaker 2: Jane Powell was enough of a feminist that she was like,
Speaker 2: all right, for this movie to work, I have to
Speaker 2: be in love with him the second e Laia eyes
Speaker 2: on him.
Speaker 3: Otherwise nothing works.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: After lunch, Adam goes behind the tavern and finds Millie
Speaker 1: milking a cow.
Speaker 2: Because she hasn't done enough yet today.
Speaker 1: That's the other thing that movie does that I think
Speaker 1: is smart is that they show that she's a she's
Speaker 1: a jack of all trades, but also be she works really,
Speaker 1: really fucking hard at this tavern. Yeah, and the idea
Speaker 1: of like only having to cook for one guy and
Speaker 1: only having to tend one house is so appealing. It's
Speaker 1: such a like lifestyle upgrade for her. That was smart
Speaker 1: to make it so that like her life kind of sucks,
Speaker 1: like low key sucks. So he walks up to her
Speaker 1: and says, Hi, I'm Adam Pumptepie. Want to be my bride?
Speaker 2: He actually says, how about it? With no explanation, Yeah, no.
Speaker 1: Backstory, and then he starts to paint her a beautiful
Speaker 1: picture of the farm he lives on, without mentioning once
Speaker 1: the six brothers that also live there. Yeah, he says,
Speaker 1: the only thing missing for my life is a woman.
Speaker 1: How about it? Right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a question for you because I have
Speaker 2: a possibly wild take. I think Howard Keel plays this
Speaker 2: as if he's not intentionally lying to her about the brothers.
Speaker 2: Like I think he's playing it as if he also
Speaker 2: fell in love with her at first sight. And yeah,
Speaker 2: he's putting the best spin on it, but it's not
Speaker 2: like he's actively lying.
Speaker 3: Do you know what's funny?
Speaker 1: I agree with you only because in my notes, because
Speaker 1: it's the first time I've ever seen the movie. In
Speaker 1: my notes, I was like, wait, he didn't talk about
Speaker 1: the brothers, and I thought it was a mistake of
Speaker 1: the movies. Yes that I was like, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: she knows there's other brothers right there. But like the
Speaker 1: movie just they forgot to mention it in this scene,
Speaker 1: like it's bad writing in this Best Screenplay nominated film.
Speaker 2: Well because also it becomes apparent that the town knows
Speaker 2: about the Pontipee brothers immediately, like Adam's not a stranger
Speaker 2: come to town.
Speaker 1: Crazy too is like it's a one horse town. There's
Speaker 1: probably fifty fucking people in it. And like she's she
Speaker 1: works in the tavern. Yeah, so she's the center of
Speaker 1: all town gossip.
Speaker 2: They could have solved this by simply having Milly arrive
Speaker 2: in town. Yeah, Like if she's new in town, then
Speaker 2: this all then then all of this can be explained.
Speaker 2: But as soon as you think about it, you're like,
Speaker 2: they all know the Pontipee brothers live in the in
Speaker 2: the in the fart smelling stinkhouse up on the top
Speaker 2: of the mountain.
Speaker 1: So he proposes to her, He says, well, you gotta
Speaker 1: tell me now because I won't be back for five months.
Speaker 1: Surely you can't think of making me wait five months
Speaker 1: just because of your pride.
Speaker 2: Is this proposal to wedding proposals, what Okay spelled out
Speaker 2: in scrabble Tiles is to wedding acceptances.
Speaker 1: This is so like, it's so punkers. But he's like,
Speaker 1: he's like, want to marry me? I know we literally
Speaker 1: you don't.
Speaker 5: Know me at all.
Speaker 1: You literally don't know my name and like, and she's
Speaker 1: like I He's like, look, I'm leaving for five months.
Speaker 3: Tell me now, ur it's.
Speaker 1: Over there, like Jesus Chris. But of course she fell
Speaker 1: in love at first sight. What can she do about it?
Speaker 1: She can't think of a reason to say no. She's like,
Speaker 1: let me just finish my chores and I'll be right
Speaker 1: with you. And he's like right, and he heads to shave,
Speaker 1: and then Erica loses her boner for him. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: Paul gains one for the rest of the movie and.
Speaker 2: The boner transfers it's boner transference, aha.
Speaker 3: And then he finds a preacher to marry them.
Speaker 2: Yep. So we cut to them at the Parsons house.
Speaker 2: The parson and his wife were like, you go girl,
Speaker 2: like blink twice if you'ed rescuing, Like, what's going on?
Speaker 2: The parson his wife are very concerned.
Speaker 1: Well done of the film. The general store owners were like,
Speaker 1: this guy sucks. And now the parson and his wife
Speaker 1: are like, this guy sucks.
Speaker 2: What are we doing? So they cut back to Millie
Speaker 2: and Adam. It's a two shot, and it's so funny because,
Speaker 2: as we said, Howard Kila is six foot three, Jane
Speaker 2: Powell is five foot one. They didn't get her a
Speaker 2: tom Cruise box. So the framing of the shot actually
Speaker 2: cuts off the top of Howard Keele's head and it
Speaker 2: is I am not exaggerating neck up on Jane Powell.
Speaker 2: And she has this line where she says, you know,
Speaker 2: I get proposals all the time, and I always have
Speaker 2: this horrible feeling right here. But you can't see her hands,
Speaker 2: so you're.
Speaker 3: Like, where where is she pointing to her knees?
Speaker 2: Is she pointing to her genitals? Is she put into
Speaker 2: her stomach, her boobs, her chest? Where where?
Speaker 3: What's happening?
Speaker 2: The only thing we know it's not her face.
Speaker 1: She's pointing to like an inanimate object. She's like, I
Speaker 1: was going a bad feeling in this lamp.
Speaker 2: But this time Erica, after Adam proposed, she had no
Speaker 2: horrible feeling. She knows that she and Adam are meant
Speaker 2: to be, and the parson and his wife are like, okay.
Speaker 3: Well, legally you're an adult. We can't stop you.
Speaker 2: And they get married.
Speaker 1: So Adam loads Milliet onto his cart and they head
Speaker 1: off the twelve mile trek up the cabin, which I
Speaker 1: guess back in the day would have taken hours.
Speaker 2: Yep, there's a there's a line, is there? Leaving town?
Speaker 2: I think it's missus Bixby says it's indecent if you
Speaker 2: ask me, one lone woman and seven scroungy backwoodsmen. I'm like,
Speaker 2: or it's the start of a porno.
Speaker 3: Or it's a sort of amazing porno.
Speaker 1: Hang on, hang on, I gotta I gotta know, I
Speaker 1: gotta know, and we're back.
Speaker 3: Huh Okay.
Speaker 1: I googled seven brides for seven brothers.
Speaker 2: Porno's that's on your surch history.
Speaker 1: Now that's never coming off. Government saw that, and there
Speaker 1: is according to I don't know. Look, I refuse to
Speaker 1: even read this website's name out loud because I don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm looking at. But into google like responses
Speaker 1: with seven submissive brides for seven male domb brothers. That
Speaker 1: seems to be the only one that was made. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: you guys.
Speaker 2: You're missing out.
Speaker 1: Actually, I think there are just poornos called seven brides
Speaker 1: for seven brothers. It's the number seven instead of seven,
Speaker 1: which is how they got around getting sued. Yes, there
Speaker 1: does seem to be a poor no called seven brides
Speaker 1: for seven brothers.
Speaker 2: Good.
Speaker 1: I'm glad, I'm glad. I'm glad the marketplace works, is
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, because of course there is.
Speaker 2: We can trust. We can trust the adult video producers
Speaker 2: of the world to not miss an obvious gift.
Speaker 1: Yes, So, as they're heading out of town, some of
Speaker 1: the local men are not happy that Adam has taken
Speaker 1: an available woman away from them. They're like, oh, darn it,
Speaker 1: darn it. Now, there's twenty of us. We'll never get married.
Speaker 2: We'll never know what sex is now.
Speaker 3: But Milly is thrilled. She's excited to live outside of town.
Speaker 1: Does not have to work in the tavern anymore, to
Speaker 1: only as I said before, she says, and now this
Speaker 1: part the quiet port out loud, to only have to
Speaker 1: work for one man and one woman and one household.
Speaker 1: How cool is that The two of them get to
Speaker 1: know each other, and she shows him what her father
Speaker 1: left her, which was a copy of the Bible and
Speaker 1: a copy of Plutarch's Lives right So Roman History and
Speaker 1: the Bible what fun reading.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you might wonder why I'm mentioning that. It's because
Speaker 2: it actually does come back.
Speaker 3: Super super matters.
Speaker 1: Because if you give an illiterate man one book to read,
Speaker 1: make sure it's The Race.
Speaker 2: Make sure it's Fear of Flying by Erika John, It's
Speaker 2: The Feminine Mystique by Betty for Dan, It's The.
Speaker 1: Bluest Eye by Tony Morrison.
Speaker 2: Make sure it's something by Belle Hooks.
Speaker 3: Yes, do not.
Speaker 1: Give an illiterate man Roman History and the Bible, big mistake.
Speaker 3: Lady huge huge, give him a copy of Cosmo.
Speaker 2: Fuck it, Yeah, fuck it teen Vogue, apparently very feminist
Speaker 2: forward ha ha.
Speaker 1: So okay, she is so happy she starts to shout
Speaker 1: in excitement. Also, she's gonna get late, don't forget.
Speaker 3: There's an undercurrent of that through the whole movie.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: And he's like, ooh, be careful shouting in the winter
Speaker 1: as we go through this pass, because we're writing through.
Speaker 1: As Paul writes here, Checkov's Mountain fast and a noise
Speaker 1: too loud could set off an avalanche and snow them
Speaker 1: in until spring.
Speaker 2: Right. So, as Erica said, Millie tells Adam. She's so
Speaker 2: excited to cook for this one man. Blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: And Adam's like, oh, maybe we shoul take a quick
Speaker 2: pit stop. I have a little something I forgot to mention. Whoops.
Speaker 2: But Milly is too swept away. She rushes out into
Speaker 2: the field, she picks what she says is her bridal bouquet,
Speaker 2: and she sings wonderful, wonderful day. It's a song.
Speaker 3: She's a soprano.
Speaker 1: It's like such a so funny because she her speaking
Speaker 1: voice doesn't match her singing voice.
Speaker 3: Actually thought she was dubbed.
Speaker 2: Oh ye yeah.
Speaker 1: At first, it's like, oh no, she really is singing
Speaker 1: because her speaking voice is like a like a natural
Speaker 1: like like it's a little lower, it's a little lower, right,
Speaker 1: and like but when she burst out into song, it's
Speaker 1: like that old school like Cinderella soprano that you're used
Speaker 1: to hearing from the fifties.
Speaker 2: And this is the first time I like really notice
Speaker 2: the corset because she's singing, but you can't see her
Speaker 2: stomach moving. Yeah, And I'm like, how is she singing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can't see her diaphragm.
Speaker 1: I guess she's breathing. This is also the scene where
Speaker 1: like she runs into the glen and the glen is
Speaker 1: obviously like a state absolutely painted like a high school
Speaker 1: painted backdrop. It's cute, though, it's cute.
Speaker 2: Adam is so taken with her. They get all the
Speaker 2: way to the farm and he still hasn't mentioned his
Speaker 2: sex tet of siblings Row, his ginger sex tet.
Speaker 1: Adam and Milly arrived at the farm and Adam can
Speaker 1: no longer lie because the brothers are fucking there. His
Speaker 1: brothers are Benjamin aka the Hot One. Yeah, but we
Speaker 1: don't know that yet, but we're gonna find out.
Speaker 2: We're gonna find out.
Speaker 1: Caleb, who I don't remember anything about, Daniel, who I
Speaker 1: really don't remember anything about, Ephraim, who also don't remember.
Speaker 2: He's the ballet dancer.
Speaker 3: He's the ballet dancer.
Speaker 1: Frank, who is pugnacious to a fault, let's just put
Speaker 1: it that way. And Gideon played by the Great Us Tamblin.
Speaker 1: They're all there. Their parents wanted to give them all
Speaker 1: biblical names in alphabetical order in case you're wondering what
Speaker 1: those names are from. Their father was hoping to get
Speaker 1: all the way to z but their poor parents crapped out.
Speaker 1: The brothers appear. They are in filthy clothes, they're sporting
Speaker 1: scraggly facial hair. They all look like the next door
Speaker 1: neighbor in the burbs. Remember the teenage boy, the creepy
Speaker 1: Nosharatu looking teenage boy in the burbs. This is a
Speaker 1: horror movie. This is a Ryan Murphy horror movie. If
Speaker 1: I showed up to a house in the middle of nowhere,
Speaker 1: I can't get back home at this point, because twelve
Speaker 1: miles is apparently an insurmountable amount of space back in
Speaker 1: the eighteen fifties, and this greeted me at the door,
Speaker 1: I would shit my pants.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I'm getting murdered.
Speaker 3: They're terrifying.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Also, let's just say their personalities leave something to be desired.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, how did Adam get all of these social graces,
Speaker 2: Because yes, he's a bit of an alpha male asshole,
Speaker 2: but like he fits in in town, understands how to
Speaker 2: speak to somebody, he knows, oh I should shave.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's not basically hygiene down I think because he's
Speaker 1: the only one that comes down trade and so he
Speaker 1: has to be like the face of the company, right,
Speaker 1: and so he's he's normal, Like she's like as close
Speaker 1: to normal as these guys get.
Speaker 3: And the rest of them are all.
Speaker 1: Just like like fucking like cave dwellers that come out
Speaker 1: every ten years. So Milly sees them as they crowd
Speaker 1: around her and terrify her. She manages to keep her
Speaker 1: cool as Adam leads her through the house, which is
Speaker 1: an unfinished, stinky, disgusting dump. But it's not just that
Speaker 1: he's leading her around the house like that, Like they
Speaker 1: are just like following her and they don't say anything,
Speaker 1: and all of them have their mouths open, like the mouth.
Speaker 2: Like they've literally never seen a woman.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, like genuinely. And I'm like, oh no, no, no, girl,
Speaker 1: get the fuck out, ride a bear back to the
Speaker 1: to the homestead.
Speaker 2: Absolutely so, Millie innocently asks about the name frank because
Speaker 2: she says, well, I didn't think that was a biblical name,
Speaker 2: which isn't Francis a biblical name, Saint Francis.
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's in the Bible.
Speaker 1: I think Francis existed, after gotcha, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I am making that shot.
Speaker 2: I mean, look, I will get I'm not going to
Speaker 2: say these writers knew more about many things in me,
Speaker 2: but I will easily admit they probably knew more about
Speaker 2: the Bible, so I'm sure they're right.
Speaker 3: Okay, So Saint Francis died in twelve twenty six.
Speaker 2: Okay, so well after the Bible and guessing. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 2: So the brothers immediately get into a brawl because Frank
Speaker 2: is sensitive about his name because his full name, you see,
Speaker 2: is Frankensense. I did laugh at that. I was like,
Speaker 2: that's actually funny joke. Yeah. Adam finishes the quote unquote
Speaker 2: tour by showing Millie the pile of dirty clothes that
Speaker 2: need mending and cleaning, the kitchen and the dinner bell
Speaker 2: and he leaves. He's like, let us all know when
Speaker 2: the dinner's ready, bye bye, And she's just like, holy fuck.
Speaker 1: Also, I have to mention like deoduran hasn't been invented yet,
Speaker 1: and I don't know what their soap situation is these woods,
Speaker 1: so it's on top of on top of fast and
Speaker 1: the furious in their pants.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they are at best climbing into a bucket once
Speaker 2: a week and scraping themselves off.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, growth we cut to Millie. You know what
Speaker 1: she's gonna roll up her sleeves make the most out
Speaker 1: of the situation.
Speaker 2: One thing we know about Millie, she's a hard worker.
Speaker 1: The hard worker. She's cooked for seven men before at
Speaker 1: the same time. In fact, she does it every day.
Speaker 1: She's ringing the dinner bell. The brothers run up like
Speaker 1: hogs to a trough and they start tearing at the food.
Speaker 1: The table actually looks nice, she said it. She's put
Speaker 1: the food out. It looks appetizing, it looks normal, like
Speaker 1: you are like, it doesn't look like beans in a trough.
Speaker 1: Millie's like, hey, guys, you need to say Grace. Hey, Hey,
Speaker 1: hey everyone. No one said Grace, what are you? What
Speaker 1: are you doing? She gets so angry with them that
Speaker 1: she goes real Housewife of Oregon Territory and she's like,
Speaker 1: you're a prostitution horror, and she flips the table onto them,
Speaker 1: spilling their dinner all over them and onto the floor.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then she heads up stairs in a huff and
Speaker 1: slams the bedroom door.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I would love to hear Millie's like, real house
Speaker 2: I have Oregon Territory tagline. Haha. You may have seven brothers,
Speaker 2: but I've got one fist fucking say.
Speaker 1: Grace, say Grace. I didn't come here to make friends.
Speaker 1: I came here to make twelve bits every day.
Speaker 2: Later that night, the brothers are all sitting around downstairs.
Speaker 2: They're kind of all like looking around, like they're not
Speaker 2: sure what to do. Adam is like, well, it's time
Speaker 2: for bed, and they're like, uh huh, because clearly these
Speaker 2: six men are dying to know what sex sounds like
Speaker 2: that is the only thing they're thinking about.
Speaker 1: This part of the movie creeped the fuck out of me.
Speaker 1: I hated it. I hated it.
Speaker 2: So Adam heads upstairs and crucially, he knocks on the door.
Speaker 2: There are little moments in the movie like this where
Speaker 2: I'm like, thank Like when missus Bixby in the beginning
Speaker 2: was like, no, he doesn't just barge in. He actually
Speaker 2: knocks and waits for her to tell him it's okay
Speaker 2: to come in, which I'm like that, look, it doesn't
Speaker 2: fix anything, but it's a bit of a balm.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's very gentleman.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So Millie tells me he can come in. He does.
Speaker 2: He starts to get ready for bed, and Millie's like, look,
Speaker 2: you don't want a wife, you want to cook and
Speaker 2: a washerwoman. You want a hired girl. Basically, that's what
Speaker 2: I am, and that's fine. That's fine. I will cook
Speaker 2: for you, I will clean for you. But a hired
Speaker 2: girl deserves her own bed, so fuck off. Adam tries
Speaker 2: to sweet talker and she's firm. She says, I will
Speaker 2: work for you. I will not sleep alongside you. Good
Speaker 2: for you, Milly, excellent rebuffed. Adam climbs out the window
Speaker 2: and lies down like in the crook of a tree.
Speaker 3: Excellent it.
Speaker 1: But to be clear, he's not like ugh, yeah, he's like,
Speaker 1: well okay, then yeah. He just like climbs out the
Speaker 1: window like again, It's all very kind of jovial.
Speaker 2: He lies down in this tree, brand She's like, well,
Speaker 2: I'll sleep here then, which I would love to see
Speaker 2: you try. Milly, for some reason, is moved by this.
Speaker 2: She sings when You're in love another that is a song,
Speaker 2: completely unmemorable.
Speaker 1: Not gonna lie to you. I don't remember this one
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: Because it makes no sense at all. He climbs out
Speaker 2: one window and she's like, I forgot I fell in
Speaker 2: love with you at first sight.
Speaker 1: I think honestly part of it. And again, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: give Chane Powell a lot of credit here is. She's
Speaker 1: playing the horniness in the moment she sees him like
Speaker 1: sprawled out on that tree branch.
Speaker 2: He's just like a fucking panther, and she's like, I.
Speaker 3: Want to climb that tree.
Speaker 2: Uh huh. Millie tells Adam he can come back inside,
Speaker 2: and now we get truly a red flag. He climbs in,
Speaker 2: he trips, he falls onto the bed, and the bed breaks. Okay,
Speaker 2: you know what, I probably would have expected some bad manners.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have expected the six brothers, but I would
Speaker 2: expect I would have expected a mess. I'm marrying. I'm
Speaker 2: marrying a single man. I say, I'm looking forward to
Speaker 2: cooking for us. All of this stuff is at least
Speaker 2: somewhat in my purview.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: You are an Oregon Territory backwoodsman and you can make
Speaker 2: a sturdy fucking bed. Oh no, no, no, no, Now
Speaker 2: I'm concerned about you holding up your end of this bargain.
Speaker 3: Oh I didn't even think of that.
Speaker 1: You don't.
Speaker 3: You don't think it came from Ikeia.
Speaker 2: No, I don't. I think he fucking built that with
Speaker 2: his two hands, and he did a bad job.
Speaker 1: He ordered, He ordered like the cheapest bed for Ikea
Speaker 1: getting together himself. But yeah, they were like forty five.
Speaker 2: Forty five pegs. Like, I don't think I need these.
Speaker 1: I guess fine, don't worry about it.
Speaker 2: This does lead to all of the brothers thinking that
Speaker 2: them fucking broke the bed because they're all downstairs and
Speaker 2: they look up.
Speaker 3: Oh boy, and they're like, is that with sexes?
Speaker 2: Sex is breaking the bed? Got it? Got it.
Speaker 1: The next morning, the six younger brothers wake up in
Speaker 1: their barracks. It looks to me, so that house has
Speaker 1: two bedrooms. Yeah, one is for Adam because that's how
Speaker 1: it was set up when we arrived. The other six
Speaker 1: all have to sleep in one room together, like correct,
Speaker 1: the seven Dwarves.
Speaker 3: Yeah, snow White and the seven Dwarves.
Speaker 1: Yep. I don't love this. I don't love this dynamic.
Speaker 1: I don't love Adam's like superiority for his brothers.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't care for any of this.
Speaker 2: You're gonna stub your toe on some crunchy socks in
Speaker 2: that robe.
Speaker 1: No wonder, these these poor boys don't know anything. Their
Speaker 1: brother's been keeping them down. Millie knocks on the door
Speaker 1: and like just cheerfully tells them breakfast is ready, your
Speaker 1: clothes are washed, and I'll need your pajamas to wash
Speaker 1: as well. So she like puts out her hands like
Speaker 1: hand them over, and they're all, of course, like, but
Speaker 1: we're modest, we don't even know what to do, and
Speaker 1: it's very cute. Milly tells them again, hey guys, give
Speaker 1: me your dirty pajamas or I'll come in and get
Speaker 1: them myself, and they scoff at the thread. She's not
Speaker 1: coming in here. Yeah, there's no please come on. But
Speaker 1: then she starts to push the door open and they're like, no, no, no, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: we get your pajamas, don't.
Speaker 6: Come in here.
Speaker 2: Who had it worst? Millie and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers,
Speaker 2: Wendy Darling and Peter pan uh huh or Goldiehn and Overboard.
Speaker 1: Good question. I'm gonna go with Goldiehn. Okay, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go with Goldiehn. Because she didn't know what she was
Speaker 1: signing up for. She didn't know what was happening. Sure,
Speaker 1: this woman like she also didn't quite know what she
Speaker 1: was signing up for, but she seems she's got gumption.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: You don't worry about Millie.
Speaker 3: She's hail and hearty. She can do this. She's got this. Wendy,
Speaker 3: I think it's fine.
Speaker 2: Wendy I think is fully signed up for it. She's
Speaker 2: enjoying everything that's happening. It's very retrograde, and we watching
Speaker 2: it may not enjoy it, but Wendy Darling is like,
Speaker 2: this is great, this is fun. I'm in charge.
Speaker 1: Fuly han and Overboard still has it worse with those
Speaker 1: four raccoon children as you call them.
Speaker 2: Yes, we cut down to breakfast. The brothers have shaved
Speaker 2: and are all wrapped in blankets since their clothes are
Speaker 2: being cleaned, possibly for the first time.
Speaker 3: Can I stop you here for second?
Speaker 2: Benjamin Hot, Benjamin benjam Hot.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So as soon as the guy what's his name.
Speaker 1: Jeff Richards, Jeff Richards. As soon as Jeff Richards, the
Speaker 1: actor who plays Benjamin comes downstairs wearing basically just like
Speaker 1: sheets wrapped around his torso and you can see his chest,
Speaker 1: holy shit, and he's shaved. Ye now, so like good goodravy.
Speaker 2: And it's so funny. Because so they wanted to hire
Speaker 2: all dancers for the six brothers, but this studio was like,
Speaker 2: you have to take two contract players. So the middle
Speaker 2: four brothers are the dancers. The youngest one, Gideon Russ Hamblin,
Speaker 2: can dance, but he was also a studio star and
Speaker 2: he was like more of a gymnast. But then Jeff
Speaker 2: Richards was a former baseball player that was in the
Speaker 2: studio system, and he cannot dance. And a delightful game
Speaker 2: to play is where's Jeff Richards? During this dance scene,
Speaker 2: he is inevitably either standing behind everybody else, like just
Speaker 2: moving his arms, or just cheering on his brothers.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I saw him play the cowbell
Speaker 3: at one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm also here. So we go back to the
Speaker 2: free ball and breakfast free free balling. Millie tells them
Speaker 2: that they're all very handsome, and she said, well, why
Speaker 2: why haven't I seen you at the town dances talking
Speaker 2: to the girls, And they say they've hardly ever seen
Speaker 2: a woman, and she tells them, well, you have a
Speaker 2: big sister now, and I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: help you get married and act appropriately, and also probably
Speaker 2: get some other fucking women up here, guess the.
Speaker 1: Women up here, and most importantly move out of his house.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Further, they will say grace and they will act
Speaker 2: like adults at the breakfast table. She tells them, and
Speaker 2: they all absolutely obey her.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna give a movie credit.
Speaker 1: This is a beautiful dynamic, the way these men all
Speaker 1: look up to her and adore her from the jump.
Speaker 1: Even when she throws the food on them the night before,
Speaker 1: they all just kind of stand there silently and stunned.
Speaker 1: Now when no one gets mad at her.
Speaker 2: She is always the alpha with the six brothers, and
Speaker 2: they adore her.
Speaker 1: That is crucial to watching this movie into your enjoyment
Speaker 1: of watching this movie.
Speaker 2: And they trust her, They trust her more than they
Speaker 2: trust Adam. Immediately, Yeah, because.
Speaker 3: She's clearly smarter than all of them combines.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: So Milly is heading off to town and all the
Speaker 1: brothers like, can we join you? Can we come with you?
Speaker 1: And she's like sure, Which again part of me is like,
Speaker 1: should she ask Adam if it's okay if she takes
Speaker 1: all his workers away? But whatever?
Speaker 2: Also, why was Adam not coming back for five months?
Speaker 2: It seems like Milly's going back a week later, maybe
Speaker 2: at the most.
Speaker 1: I think it's been a day. I think literally it's
Speaker 1: been one day.
Speaker 2: She like looked at the storage cab and it's just
Speaker 2: beans and pork, and she's like, okay, I need a carrot.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: Need some vegetables. I need a broom.
Speaker 2: I need some flower a broom. Do we have a swiffer?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Do we have a dyson?
Speaker 2: I need a toilet plunge with the size of a redwood. Okay,
Speaker 2: We're gonna need.
Speaker 1: A lot of backs of tracing in this house, and
Speaker 1: maybe some rubbing alcohol.
Speaker 3: We need to disinfect.
Speaker 2: Where is the bleach? I want the full chlorinated going
Speaker 2: to cause lung damage bleach.
Speaker 1: So the brothers all come with her to town Alast.
Speaker 1: Once they arrive, it only takes about thirty seconds before
Speaker 1: Benjamin hot Benjamin has punched a man through the general
Speaker 1: through the general store window. A. Millie's like, what are
Speaker 1: you doing? Get back in the wagon, Get back in
Speaker 1: the wagon, and she makes them all go back to
Speaker 1: the farm. They were literally there for like thirty seconds
Speaker 1: before like a fight broke out.
Speaker 3: Someone said the wrong thing to the wrong brother and.
Speaker 2: Boom, boom yep.
Speaker 1: Millie's like, Okay, I'm gonna have to teach you some manners,
Speaker 1: some hygiene, and most importantly, how to talk to and
Speaker 1: impress a woman. If we're going to try this experiment again.
Speaker 1: First things first, guys, no more punching people. Yeah, we're
Speaker 1: just not doing that anymore. That's the thing of the past.
Speaker 1: We're gonna use our words. They're like, wait, not punching.
Speaker 3: Are you sure.
Speaker 2: She's like, yes, Adam always told us to punch people.
Speaker 2: Are you positive?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, And she's like absolutely, this is rule number one.
Speaker 1: We are no longer engaging in physical brawls. She's like,
Speaker 1: be polite, be friendly. You have to show the women
Speaker 1: that you meet that you are above such things as fistfights.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The brothers are like confused, and you're like, oh, I
Speaker 1: don't how are we How do we communicate otherwise? All right,
Speaker 1: well we'll figure it out.
Speaker 2: She seems sure of herself.
Speaker 1: She is broadening their horizons. Yeah, immeasurably. In this scene,
Speaker 1: they have a whole month before the barn raising and
Speaker 1: the picnic, which is like a thing we're all just
Speaker 1: learning about in real time here.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: By the way, in case you're like, wait, what are
Speaker 1: you talking about? And you're like, yeah, that's how I
Speaker 1: felt when I was watching the movie. She's like, you
Speaker 1: know that thing that's happening in a month that's super
Speaker 1: important in social that big social event. We're all gonna
Speaker 1: like try to be better people in one month. And
Speaker 1: she sings the song going Courtin' with Them, which is
Speaker 1: a very cute song. Dancing with all the brothers.
Speaker 2: This is the first song I would say like, Okay,
Speaker 2: this is cute, Like there's a couple it's very old fashioned,
Speaker 2: but like there's a couple of cute lines in it.
Speaker 2: And dancing is where it's at. And it's the first
Speaker 2: time we get to see the four men that were
Speaker 2: hired to be dancers dancing. Yeah, And so they start
Speaker 2: dancing around and the dep brothers are dancing with each
Speaker 2: other and learning, you know, so it's and hot. Benjamin
Speaker 2: is just sitting out the side looking at them.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Gorgeous, gorgeous hot Benjamin.
Speaker 2: You're just sitting there like being scenery, doing a great job.
Speaker 3: I could watch a dance scene.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all day. I was coming into this movie so
Speaker 1: ready to hate it, huh, and so ready to like
Speaker 1: be upset by it and be like fuck everything, fuck
Speaker 1: this movie, fuck the patriarchy. Yeah, and then I started
Speaker 1: watching them all dance and I was like, however, however,
Speaker 1: on the flip side, I like watching them dance. This fun.
Speaker 1: This is really fun, and it's all bright colors, and
Speaker 1: they're like color coded. The brothers are all color coded,
Speaker 1: so you can tell them apart from each other. And
Speaker 1: I can't help with you, guys. I was charmed. I
Speaker 1: was goddamn charmed by some of this movie, fair enough
Speaker 1: by a lot of this movie. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: But anytime you were able to just plug your ears
Speaker 2: and close your eyes and not think about the plot, charm, charm.
Speaker 1: For days, just charmed. So at the end of Going Courting,
Speaker 1: our six rumpel feral mountain men have been transformed into
Speaker 1: a band of well mannered lotharios.
Speaker 2: If only it was this easy, if only so we
Speaker 2: cut ahead in time. It's a month later, the pont
Speaker 2: to Be clan is getting ready for the barn raising.
Speaker 2: As Erica said, all the brothers are color coded in
Speaker 2: the bright and brightly colored shirts, right, so you can
Speaker 2: identify each one. And also once they get down to
Speaker 2: the town, all of the townsmen will be in like
Speaker 2: brown and gray, so it's always very easy to spot
Speaker 2: the Ponnape's smart costumes.
Speaker 1: On top of the fact that they're all like bright
Speaker 1: bright gingers, bright red hair.
Speaker 3: Have we discussed that enough?
Speaker 2: I don't think we have. I don't think we've.
Speaker 1: Really like impressed upon people. How creepy these five Gingers
Speaker 1: look standing next to each other. Even the hot one
Speaker 1: is creepy when you put them all.
Speaker 2: Next to each other, because he's also the one that
Speaker 2: because some of them, like Russ Tamblin I think has
Speaker 2: lighter hair, so when they put the red dye, it
Speaker 2: kind of works.
Speaker 1: I would say that hard disagree.
Speaker 2: Hot Benjamin I think has darker hair, so it gets
Speaker 2: really brassy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a brassy Ginger.
Speaker 1: Would you say their penises probably look like those peach
Speaker 1: kit cats from earlier today? Yes, like sprinkled with peach nuts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think that's exactly right. It probably tastes
Speaker 2: better though. Damn So the Ponnipees plus plus Millie, who's
Speaker 2: now ponape Millie pipe head down the Mountain? Where do
Speaker 2: you think they came up with the last name Pontipee?
Speaker 1: Genuinely, I have no idea. That is a weird fucking name.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it could have just been Smith.
Speaker 1: Could have been anything, even if it's the original name
Speaker 1: from the original short story. Who cares?
Speaker 3: Who cares?
Speaker 2: Yeah, So they all head down the mountain. The younger
Speaker 2: brothers are eager to try out their new social graces.
Speaker 2: They arrive in town and the young women immediately spot
Speaker 2: the cleaned up, now much more handsome Pontipee brothers who
Speaker 2: they may or may not know exist that that's unclear
Speaker 2: in the movie. They know Adam exists, they know Millie
Speaker 2: got him.
Speaker 1: Okay, look, if no one in this town knows those
Speaker 1: brothers exist, that means that Adam is like a monster.
Speaker 1: That means that you ever see the horrible movie The
Speaker 1: Room with.
Speaker 2: Brie Larson, That's what's happening.
Speaker 1: He's he's telling them that there is like been an
Speaker 1: apocalypse down the mountain. There's no town, there's no survivors
Speaker 1: where it's only just us.
Speaker 2: He's John Hamm and Kimmy Schmid he is.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, he's the Reverend Kimmy Schmidt. He's ruining everyone's lives.
Speaker 1: This is a horror movie.
Speaker 2: So the women they also spot Milly, who they're all
Speaker 2: very friendly with, like, oh Milly. So these women run
Speaker 2: up to the pontipe wagon. The local men are none
Speaker 2: too pleased about this new competition, and each brother makes
Speaker 2: a connection with a pretty lady using the techniques that
Speaker 2: Millie taught them, which is again basically just not being uncouth.
Speaker 1: Pigs, polite, friendly, cheerful.
Speaker 2: May offer you my arm and walk you to the
Speaker 2: lemonade stand. You know, that's all they're doing.
Speaker 3: You have to be This is crucial, you guys.
Speaker 1: Take some notes men out there if you want, if
Speaker 1: you want to impress women, it is crucial that you'd
Speaker 1: be good looking. Yeah, Okay, that's it. Huge part yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: huge part of it. It's a little bit.
Speaker 2: What was the problem with dangerous liaisons last week?
Speaker 3: He was a little bit Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just
Speaker 3: want everyone to write that part down because.
Speaker 1: That's so crucial. That's so important.
Speaker 3: Yeah, make sure that you are what's the word good looking?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Please. The only important pretty lady is Dorcas, And
Speaker 2: she's really only important because she's played by Julie Numar
Speaker 2: and she gets to be with hot Benjamin all the time.
Speaker 2: So I'm just jealous of her.
Speaker 3: She's just so tall and so is like striking.
Speaker 2: Looking, she's so beautiful, and she she really does pop.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, it makes sense that she's the one
Speaker 2: who kind of became famous because there's only really like
Speaker 2: one big scene where the women get to like define
Speaker 2: their characters a little bit, and she manages to just
Speaker 2: define her character as the one who wants.
Speaker 3: To fuck before they get to a barn or raisin?
Speaker 3: What is the country? What is the country?
Speaker 1: Anyway, before they get to barn raisin, the town decides
Speaker 1: to have a dance.
Speaker 2: Shouldn't you dance after the barn raising?
Speaker 3: Have you ever been to a barn raising? You up
Speaker 3: in the country?
Speaker 1: No, No, I was in that country. Come sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: always disappointed by your country stories.
Speaker 3: You're never is country as I want them to be.
Speaker 2: I'll try to throw some more countryisms in for later.
Speaker 1: Ha ha ha.
Speaker 2: But don't you think they should like they do the
Speaker 2: work and then the dance is the reward. You raise
Speaker 2: the barn and then you dance.
Speaker 1: I think you have to like psych yourself up ahead
Speaker 1: of time. It's like it's like like right before a
Speaker 1: concert when the opening act comes out and they're like
Speaker 1: everyone stand up, like it's.
Speaker 2: Like that they're trying to horn the men up so
Speaker 2: they have extra energy to get that barn.
Speaker 1: Raised exactly exact guys, got to make yourselves look good
Speaker 1: in front of all the ten to one ladies we
Speaker 1: have out here.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: A truly entertaining and fantastic dance scene happens.
Speaker 3: It goes on for about ten minutes. There's so much
Speaker 3: of everything.
Speaker 2: It's acrobatics. They're using the whole space, Like they start
Speaker 2: at the base of the barn as kind of a
Speaker 2: dance floor and they start jumping all over like the area.
Speaker 2: There's at one point they're doing like balance beam work.
Speaker 2: So they have these two by fours spread out and
Speaker 2: these four middle the Caleb through Frank Pontipe brothers are
Speaker 2: really good dancers, like really good, and so they're they're
Speaker 2: doing these balancing tricks or doing cartwheels on two by fours.
Speaker 2: It's incredible. Yeah, it's genuinely this is.
Speaker 1: The moment that the movie is gonna win you over,
Speaker 1: if you haven't been one over already.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: He has a lot of one upmanship with the townsmen
Speaker 1: and the brothers, right, That's why it's more and more
Speaker 1: acrobatic and like athletic as he goes on. So the
Speaker 1: Pontipees are always getting the best of the local men, right,
Speaker 1: and the women are just delighted by them.
Speaker 2: Such a good time for Benjamin spotting find the hot
Speaker 2: one during this scene. It's so fun.
Speaker 3: He's back making out with Julie Newmar. I don't have
Speaker 3: to dance.
Speaker 1: It looks like Benjamin he's just has.
Speaker 2: A mirror is looking himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not
Speaker 2: going to risk my knees for this. It's time for
Speaker 2: a barn raisin, y'all. There's a contest to see what
Speaker 2: group of men can get their side of the barn
Speaker 2: up fastest, and the Pontipiece enter as a team hoping
Speaker 2: to win the prize, a heifer.
Speaker 1: It's cute because there's like the prize is a heifer,
Speaker 1: and they're like, man, and then Millie's like, whoo, we
Speaker 1: could use a heifer. And then they all get into it.
Speaker 1: Millie says, we need that heifer.
Speaker 2: We gotta do it, we gotta do this. The rest
Speaker 2: of the locals immediately are like fuck that. They all
Speaker 2: form teams and once they start raising the barn, they
Speaker 2: start basically attacking the Pontepee brothers. They're like literally him
Speaker 2: in the hands and feets with hammers. Hit one of
Speaker 2: them in the face of the two by four, I mean.
Speaker 1: One of them gets breens. Yeah, I'm shocked. The movie
Speaker 1: doesn't end there. Well, Frank's dead, that's it. We lost Frank.
Speaker 1: We lost Frankensnse, we lost Franknsonse rip.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because like they're like.
Speaker 1: Someone at one point is like above what the Ponte brother,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure which one it is, and like is
Speaker 1: like ten feet above him and drops a hammer on
Speaker 1: his head from ten feet up, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: he'd be dead. There's just no chance he's still alive.
Speaker 2: Adam notices this, but then he also notices that his
Speaker 2: brothers every time are like apologizing to the man that
Speaker 2: attacked them. Oh my god, I'm sorry. My hand shouldn't
Speaker 2: have been there. Oh no, it's okay, no big deal.
Speaker 2: My fault, my fault. He is shocked. Why are they
Speaker 2: being so reticent to fight? I thought I taught you
Speaker 2: in the room that if someone attacks you, you attack back.
Speaker 2: That's the kill command. Come on, Gideon, that's how you
Speaker 2: know to eat. They tell him they're trying to impress
Speaker 2: the women. This is what Milly told to do. We
Speaker 2: don't fight anymore. We're gonna be pacifists now, and he's
Speaker 2: disgusted his wife has turned them into a bunch of
Speaker 2: lily livered, chicken hearted lickspittles. How damn girl, Adam, you
Speaker 2: were born a street rat, You will die a street rat,
Speaker 2: and only your fleas will mourn you.
Speaker 1: You're all prostitution horse. Yes, the one line I know
Speaker 1: from Real Housewives, truly, he's I love that line.
Speaker 2: I'm actually genuinely trying to think. The other one I
Speaker 2: know is, oh, Denise, you're so angry. You're angry, Denise.
Speaker 2: Ouch uh. Finally one of the locals hits Adam and
Speaker 2: that Gideon cannot abide right. Russ Hamblin says, no, you
Speaker 2: can hit me all you want, but you will not
Speaker 2: hit my captor.
Speaker 1: Brother brother, my father, brother, father, brother brother.
Speaker 2: You won't do that. He has raised me from I
Speaker 2: don't know. We don't really know when their parents died.
Speaker 2: It could have been last month, It could have been
Speaker 2: seventeen years.
Speaker 3: Ago, could have been when the minute the Gideon was
Speaker 3: you don't know.
Speaker 2: There is one line in the movie where like Adam
Speaker 2: says he wanted to get to Z but then one
Speaker 2: day chopped a tree and it fell on him or
Speaker 2: something like that, and I'm like, it's hard to get
Speaker 2: a tree to fall on you when you're chopping it.
Speaker 1: That's your job.
Speaker 2: That's your job.
Speaker 1: Your job is a wood. Tree is your job, and
Speaker 1: you do not manage to successfully do tree.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a problem.
Speaker 2: You know how. Ken's job is beach. Your job is tree.
Speaker 3: Your job was tree, and you fucked up. You done
Speaker 3: fucked up.
Speaker 2: Your job is tree. Your job is barn. Your job
Speaker 2: is plow right. Yeah, that was intentional, I'll say it.
Speaker 2: He his wife pieced out. His wife was like fuck this.
Speaker 2: Eight men, yeah, and then he was like fuck this.
Speaker 2: Seven boys. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Adam seems like he's got this under control. Surely he's
Speaker 1: not gonna start a weird sex cult up here.
Speaker 2: Adam's ten. He can handle this in any case. One
Speaker 2: of the locals hits Adam. Gideon fights back, He's like,
Speaker 2: fuck that, don't hit my brother. A melee erupts. That
Speaker 2: ends with the half raised barn collapsing back to the ground.
Speaker 2: The Pontippy brothers Victoria laugh in the wreckage, while Millie,
Speaker 2: seeing that all of her work has come to naught.
Speaker 2: They've probably driven off these women that were supposed to
Speaker 2: come up here and help her get some of these
Speaker 2: skid marks out of this underwear. Honestly does anyone have
Speaker 2: any tricks.
Speaker 3: It's gonna take a platoon that we have no.
Speaker 2: What we have to burn these I need you to
Speaker 2: help me sew them new underwear. I can't make this
Speaker 2: as much underwear.
Speaker 1: Honestly, if you hang them around the trees around the house,
Speaker 1: I bet they'll scare away bears. True, that's that's a
Speaker 1: good reason to use some of those underwear around. Just
Speaker 1: bury them in the garden. You'll get great corn. I
Speaker 1: may never eat again, Erica.
Speaker 2: That's about halfway through the movie. Shall we take a
Speaker 2: little commercial break here? Sure? All right, everyone stick around.
Speaker 2: We're gonna come right back, and we're gonna finish taking
Speaker 2: you through the the feminist screed that is Seven Brides
Speaker 2: for seven Brothers.
Speaker 3: And we're back that night after the melee.
Speaker 1: Back at the Pontivy House, Millie is caring for her
Speaker 1: brother's little battle scars.
Speaker 3: Like there's black eyes, there's.
Speaker 1: Barked knuckles, cuts and bruises, and someone do not forget
Speaker 1: got brains.
Speaker 2: One of them also says, kick in the pants.
Speaker 1: God damn this movie. You're not allowed to charm me,
Speaker 1: But yeah, what you are. I'd be great if one
Speaker 1: of them literally had like like brain matter coming out
Speaker 1: of his and his skull, and he's like, can you
Speaker 1: fix that? And she's like, no, no, no, I don't think
Speaker 1: I have enough. Witch Hazel, just go walking and just
Speaker 1: don't stop. Walk into the woods forever Son. So she's
Speaker 1: being very gentle with them, and she says she understands
Speaker 1: why they fought. Gideon walks out to the porch to
Speaker 1: find Adam, and Gideon asks, Adam, do you think I
Speaker 1: could be in love with the girl I met today?
Speaker 1: Couldn't happen that fast? This relationship is very sweet the
Speaker 1: Gideon Adam like the younger and older brother relationship because
Speaker 1: he really is a dad to him. We find out
Speaker 1: that not just getting in, all six of the brothers
Speaker 1: have fallen hopelessly head over heels butt crazy in love
Speaker 1: with Josh.
Speaker 2: Yes they have. Everyone must accept now these brothers are
Speaker 2: deeply romantically in love. This is not a lust situation.
Speaker 2: This is that I want to love, honor, and obey
Speaker 2: this woman for the rest of my days.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is so important.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that bar must be met in order for any
Speaker 1: of this to work. Huh, So that is the bar
Speaker 1: we're at, Like we are all but crazy, madly in
Speaker 1: love with these women that we met today. Adam says,
Speaker 1: you know what, getting in you might indeed be in love?
Speaker 1: You might indeed, and then he sings a repriese of
Speaker 1: when you're in.
Speaker 2: Love, Poor, you're in love.
Speaker 1: Millie wanders outside to listen to him sing and is touched,
Speaker 1: and she thinks to herself, you know what I do
Speaker 1: love that big galut.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that big ape can be sweet sometimes sweet.
Speaker 1: He's such a sweet man. And he can bone. Yes,
Speaker 1: we forgot to mention. Boning down is what these two
Speaker 1: do best.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a backwoodsman, but he's also a front woodsman,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Not afraid to get a little back with me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean exactly, He's not doesn't
Speaker 2: only work with wood, he works with pipe. Okay, he
Speaker 2: corns my cob better than anyone else I know.
Speaker 1: So Milly is like, oh, listen to my beautiful husband
Speaker 1: singing about being in love. And then when the song ends,
Speaker 1: Gideon's like, what about what about Courton? I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know how to be able to win that girl
Speaker 1: back after she's seen me fight everyone. Yeah, and Adam's like,
Speaker 1: don't worry about it. If you can't get that one back.
Speaker 1: One pretty woman is the same as the next.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: All women are completely and utterly interchangeable.
Speaker 2: They are here to cook and clean and birth.
Speaker 1: That is what I have learned.
Speaker 3: And of course Milly overhears all of this.
Speaker 2: Yep, we cut to winter. The six younger brothers sing
Speaker 2: lonesome pole cat about how they can't make no vows
Speaker 2: to a herd of cows. This is stupid.
Speaker 3: I would like to have seen them try.
Speaker 1: I would have liked to have seen them be like Bessie, Elsie, Elsie.
Speaker 1: I noticed you looking at me the other day while
Speaker 1: you were chewing that cud uh huh. And I just
Speaker 1: want to say, I like the I like the cut
Speaker 1: of your jib.
Speaker 2: Mildred. I ain't ever seen no woman's tits, but your
Speaker 2: utter is breathtaking.
Speaker 3: Breath taking. Will you be my beloved.
Speaker 2: Listen, Bertha, your cowpats are the best manure we got.
Speaker 1: That tiny pink asshole just exciting every time I see it.
Speaker 1: What if the next time they come to town, not
Speaker 1: all of them, just one of them, just the one
Speaker 1: that never talks.
Speaker 2: Like valet Dancer, just.
Speaker 3: Comes down with like a cow.
Speaker 1: He puts a little hat on it with a veil
Speaker 1: and lipstick like a cartoon, and it's wearing a dress
Speaker 1: he had to make for it. And then everyone's like,
Speaker 1: what happened, what's going on? That's like, that's his wife.
Speaker 2: Millies like, don't ask.
Speaker 1: That's his wife. We've decided to find it charming. He
Speaker 1: does not have sex with the cow. We've we've made
Speaker 1: sure of that. The cow is intact, the cow has
Speaker 1: not been violated.
Speaker 2: The cow knows it cannot give in musiastic.
Speaker 1: Consent, but we have decided to just let him have this.
Speaker 2: And so they sing this lonesome polecat song. They're like
Speaker 2: chopping wood and dancing in the snow. Maybe the first
Speaker 2: use of a splitting wedge in a musical. I'm trying
Speaker 2: to be country for it. You know what a splittant
Speaker 2: wedge is?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: Is that an axe?
Speaker 1: Thing?
Speaker 2: Is when you're when you're axing, you're axing the wood.
Speaker 2: When you're splitting wood. If you have a big piece
Speaker 2: of wood and you have it, you have the crack started,
Speaker 2: but it's difficult. You put the split in wedge spike
Speaker 2: in and you hit it through to complete to complete
Speaker 2: the splitting.
Speaker 3: The splitting. Yeah, very country that for you.
Speaker 2: You're welcome.
Speaker 3: Have you ever chopped wood?
Speaker 2: I never chopped wood. I would my dad would chop
Speaker 2: wood and he would cut down trees and then we
Speaker 2: would gather it. But I never my brother was old
Speaker 2: enough to be given the acts. I never.
Speaker 3: Would it shock you to learn that I have chopped wood?
Speaker 2: Oh, because you did it on some like glamping rich
Speaker 2: lady trip where they were like, oh, hey, hey, Jennifer, Heather, Gloria,
Speaker 2: do you want to learn how to chop wood? And
Speaker 2: then some bufflanneled man named Dirk came out and he
Speaker 2: was like, all right, ladies, do you want me to
Speaker 2: show you how to chop wood? And you're like yes?
Speaker 3: And the handle, the handle was bedazzled.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I pictured it for you, pink axe
Speaker 1: with a bedazzled hammer. That's not the way it went.
Speaker 1: But you know what, it's a better story keeping it.
Speaker 1: We're keeping it in.
Speaker 6: Dark.
Speaker 1: And I are madly in love. We have been ever since.
Speaker 1: So Millie is you know about the barn doing her chores,
Speaker 1: she finds Benjamin hot, Benjamin hot Benjamin super hot, grassy
Speaker 1: Benjamin in the barn.
Speaker 3: He's moving some hay around.
Speaker 2: Roll me in the hey, Benjamin, honestly, Yeah, how do
Speaker 2: you think hot Benjamin is maintaining that pompadoor? Huh?
Speaker 1: Do you think there's real cream located somewhere on this
Speaker 1: on the farm.
Speaker 2: Before Millie I would say he's just probably using like lard.
Speaker 2: But now I feel like she wouldn't stand for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. She she she went down to the to the
Speaker 1: general store and bought some hair, got like one of
Speaker 1: those dice and air wraps.
Speaker 2: He had heard about moose and he just thought, he like,
Speaker 2: he just got his hands greasy on a moose hide
Speaker 2: and just slicked his hair.
Speaker 1: That's actually how it used to happen in the front
Speaker 1: of real moose in frontiers Land before, before moose was invented.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So Benjamin tells her, look, after this winter, I'm going
Speaker 3: to be leaving the farm, and she's like, wo wait,
Speaker 3: you're the prettiest one.
Speaker 2: Shit. And I was like, oh, I will leave this
Speaker 2: fucking movie.
Speaker 1: Aha. He's like, I can't live up here anymore. There's
Speaker 1: just nothing keeping me here. I want to be married.
Speaker 1: I want to have what you and Adam have, and
Speaker 1: Formillie doesn't have the courage to be like what Adam
Speaker 1: and I have is nothing. Yeah, because that guy sucks.
Speaker 1: This is the beginning of the Adam sucks portion of
Speaker 1: the film, and it will continue up until the last
Speaker 1: second of the movie.
Speaker 2: Correct.
Speaker 1: That is my one major flaw with this movie, aside
Speaker 1: from the incredibly dumb plot is but like Adam sue,
Speaker 1: Adam sus.
Speaker 2: The brothers are have the excuse because they've.
Speaker 3: Been roomed, but also they're awesome.
Speaker 1: They don't suit. None of them suck.
Speaker 2: Only Adam they sue in the beginning because they've been
Speaker 2: roomed because they literally don't know Betty. They've they've been
Speaker 2: room sucked by their abusive.
Speaker 1: Older brother by they're horrifying older brother. If the movie
Speaker 1: ended with all of them virtualistically killing Adam, I would
Speaker 1: get thrilled.
Speaker 2: If they'd done a midsommar on Adam and were like,
Speaker 2: we we are just going to honor Milly as our
Speaker 2: goddess from here on out.
Speaker 1: Ah, Jesus Christ, that's the perfect movie, now that you
Speaker 1: say that, that's what I want. So okay, So concerned,
Speaker 1: Millie runs out to Adam and she's like, Hey, your
Speaker 1: brothers are all in some kind of very deep funk
Speaker 1: from having the possibility of a woman's touch taken away.
Speaker 2: From them from finally understanding what their downstairs is there.
Speaker 3: For, what their peach kit cats are there for?
Speaker 2: Exactly? Their peachkit cats need peach kitty cats.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, they're redwoods need
Speaker 1: polishing exactly.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying exactly? Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: She's like, Look, they are grieving, they are miserable, they're
Speaker 1: going to leave us.
Speaker 2: They're walking around with full tents pitched in their pants
Speaker 2: twenty four hours a day.
Speaker 1: Hah.
Speaker 2: And they need to see a doctor. It's lasted too long.
Speaker 1: And those skid marks are coming back. Ye, and I
Speaker 1: am not cleaning them up anymore. I had taught these
Speaker 1: boys a white fair asses, and now they're for they're
Speaker 1: too depressed to remember. Adam's like, don't worry, I'll talk
Speaker 1: to them. I'll sort them all out. And she's like, excellent,
Speaker 1: thank you. Do you need me to supervise you while
Speaker 1: you do this? And he's like, nope, not at all.
Speaker 1: I don't worry about it. And she's like, okay, do
Speaker 1: I need to just give you some notes, some talking points?
Speaker 1: You don't have to bring the notes with you to
Speaker 1: the session, just memorize them in advance. Some bullets, you know,
Speaker 1: some bullets, just like run through And he's like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm good. And she's like, are you like, what about
Speaker 1: a dress? Rehearsal you and me just talk it through
Speaker 1: with me from so that we're on the same page.
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm gonna surprise you, girl. I'm gonna riff.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be jazz.
Speaker 2: I got this.
Speaker 1: Don't worry. I will not tell these boys anything that
Speaker 1: you would find untoward. And she's like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I believe I believe you.
Speaker 2: This is the only moment of Millie being an idiot
Speaker 2: in the home of it.
Speaker 1: I'm good, I am good with you handling this situation.
Speaker 2: Be jazz.
Speaker 3: They cannot go wrong. This is gonna be excellent.
Speaker 2: So he finds his brothers in the barn. They're all
Speaker 2: kind of sitting around. Who turns it to go up
Speaker 2: to the barrack room and jok it because we gotta
Speaker 2: we gotta get the gotta get rid of this. These
Speaker 2: boners somehow.
Speaker 1: They're just doing a circle jerk in the barn. They're
Speaker 1: like a sad none of them are into it.
Speaker 2: Millie, Millie, we need hands. We need and moisturizer. Our
Speaker 2: hands are too rough. We want if your old a
Speaker 2: woman's hand feels like.
Speaker 1: Just the world's saddest circle jerk, well whistling.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what would happen if this was the White
Speaker 2: lotus seven brides or seven brothers. Yeah, all right, So
Speaker 2: in an attempt to cheer his brothers up, Adam brings
Speaker 2: up the sabine woman. Remember remember how in the beginning
Speaker 2: Milly brought Plutarch's.
Speaker 3: Lives, So the only book he's ever read.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now, like, look, some of this is on Milly
Speaker 1: because like if that's the only book he ever read,
Speaker 1: and he's like, well, this is how the world works
Speaker 1: because this this one text told me that, yeah, she
Speaker 1: should have brought the Babysitters Club.
Speaker 3: Yes, all of it, the whole series.
Speaker 2: You read one story about Claudia Kishi and you understand feminism.
Speaker 1: You let Christy tell you how it is.
Speaker 3: Going to go.
Speaker 2: You let Mary Anne Watson teach you how to feel.
Speaker 1: Yes, suh.
Speaker 2: You let Stacy McGill help you understand the struggle of
Speaker 2: the diabetic If they need.
Speaker 1: If they need male influences, the hardy boys, they're right there.
Speaker 2: Nancy Drew Logan is in the Babysitters Club, a great
Speaker 2: first boyfriend from Marianne. If you want to understand California,
Speaker 2: Don Schaefer is there.
Speaker 1: Ha ha, I love how deep you go with the
Speaker 1: Babysitterzen you fuck with the Babysitters Club.
Speaker 2: Mallory Pike grew up with eight kids. She understands Adam's place.
Speaker 3: And she's also a famous ginger.
Speaker 2: And Jesse Ramsey is a dancer. It's perfect for them.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it really is perfect for them. We
Speaker 1: need a Seven Brides Babysitters Club crossover.
Speaker 2: Crossover yesterday a Terpsichorian crossover. So in case anyone listening
Speaker 2: is not familiar with the rape of the Sabine Woman, essentially,
Speaker 2: the Romans were low on women.
Speaker 3: Paul, Yeah, I'm going to stop you right there.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Would it thrill you to know that I have the
Speaker 1: entire lyrics up right now on my computers. Yes, for
Speaker 1: sob and women. Please, I'm gonna do this. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to sing it. I'm just gonna read it out
Speaker 1: loud like the poetry that it is. Tell you about them,
Speaker 1: sob and women, Sobin Sob as in crying s Obb.
Speaker 2: I an apostrophe, as in.
Speaker 1: Weeping Women who lived in the Roman days. It seems
Speaker 1: that they all went swimen while their men was off
Speaker 1: to graze, while a Roman troop was riding by and
Speaker 1: saw them in their me oh my, oh oh, so
Speaker 1: they took them all back home to dry least, that's
Speaker 1: what Plutarch says. Oh yeah, them, a woman was sobbin, sobin, sobin,
Speaker 1: fit to be tied. Every muscle was throbbing, throbbing from
Speaker 1: that riotous rise.
Speaker 2: Every love muscle was throbbing, throbbing.
Speaker 3: I think, oh oh, they cried and kissed and kissed and.
Speaker 1: Cried all over that Roman countryside. So don't forget that
Speaker 1: when you're taking a bride.
Speaker 2: Oh then women was sobbing, sob and sobbin. It's like
Speaker 2: this very upbeat, like so cheerful, ho down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. Okay, I'm gonna stop there for
Speaker 1: a second and just go to Like later on in
Speaker 1: the song, Caleb, one of the brothers goes, now, when
Speaker 1: their men folk went to fetch them them, women would
Speaker 1: not be fetched. So they enjoyed the kidnapping and rape.
Speaker 1: Is what this song is implying. It's not implying, it's outright,
Speaker 1: out right saying it. It's outright saying.
Speaker 2: He's saying it with a bouncy tune. Those you don't
Speaker 2: really hear it.
Speaker 1: These weeping, sobbing women that were carted off by the
Speaker 1: Romans and forced into like slave sexual slavery were so
Speaker 1: impressed with what the Romans.
Speaker 2: Had to offer with that Roman pasta.
Speaker 1: With their pennies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they had a penne and one plate in Yoki,
Speaker 2: and they were like done.
Speaker 1: Honestly, that's true. Like back in Roman times, if you'd
Speaker 1: be like kidnapped me from my rural farm somewhere and
Speaker 1: I'd been like, no, I will not stay here, and
Speaker 1: then you handed me a plate of carbonara, I would
Speaker 1: have been like, okay, okay, it done.
Speaker 2: This works.
Speaker 1: I am submissive. Now what do you mean can I get?
Speaker 1: Can I guest some parmesan for this? Yeah? So okay.
Speaker 1: So when the men folk went to fetch him them
Speaker 1: women would not be fetched. It seems the Romans catched
Speaker 1: them and their ladies stayed catched. Just last line, I
Speaker 1: want to read everyone.
Speaker 3: This is Adam, the film's hero.
Speaker 1: Adam. Now let this be because it's true. A lesson
Speaker 1: to the likes of you treat them rough like them
Speaker 1: romans there do, or else they'll think you're touched as
Speaker 1: in touched as in not manly. Treat them rough like
Speaker 1: them they're Romans do.
Speaker 2: I also enjoyed the line they acted angry and annoyed,
Speaker 2: but secretly they was overjoyed.
Speaker 1: If they just put one line in about the carbonara,
Speaker 1: I would have understood, help me help you out.
Speaker 3: I would have been on the Roman side.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: If they'd been like, hang on a second prosecco.
Speaker 2: Think about it, think about it. So, after all of
Speaker 2: this convincing, solid logic, no notes, they resolve they're going
Speaker 2: to head to town that very night to kidnap their
Speaker 2: lady loves.
Speaker 1: They're kidnapping these women. The word kidnap is used in
Speaker 1: the movie. By the way, the movie.
Speaker 3: Multiple times understands what we're doing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Adam is driving the sledge. They head into town.
Speaker 2: They find the different women they impressed upon at various points,
Speaker 2: like a couple of the women are walking out of
Speaker 2: their house. One of the women is about to kiss
Speaker 2: her her boyfriend good night. One of the women is
Speaker 2: putting a pie in the windowsill and just gets sucked
Speaker 2: out of the window like.
Speaker 1: A fucking alien abduction. I just want to reemphasize something
Speaker 1: Paul said. They are abducted. They're not like lured out.
Speaker 1: They're not like, come here, do you want to come
Speaker 1: up with me? They are grabbed, a sack is put
Speaker 1: over their heads, yet are hauled off physically.
Speaker 2: And they scream and struggle.
Speaker 1: YEP. At one point one of the men just goes mew,
Speaker 1: like stands out, Oh.
Speaker 2: My god, that's Russ Samblin, and it's so funny.
Speaker 1: It just starts going meow, meow, and then like they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: go see what the cat wants. And then it's so weird.
Speaker 7: So weird.
Speaker 2: Well because the first they send the girl's boyfriend, he
Speaker 2: goes out hot Benjamin is there Hot Benjamin knocks him
Speaker 2: out and he's like, hurry up to rust Damblin's, who goes, wow, wow,
Speaker 2: what is happening? So they kidnap these women. They drag
Speaker 2: them back to the sledge, and Adam heads off, just
Speaker 2: as the town folk collectively realize that a mass kidnapping
Speaker 2: is happening and give chase. Adam spurs the horses on
Speaker 2: as the brothers keep their various kidnapping Victor, I mean
Speaker 2: girlfriends quiet, right, They're literally holding their hands over their
Speaker 2: mouths because Erica, they are approaching Chekhov's Mountain pass. The
Speaker 2: potpiece sneak past the danger zone and then Adam's like like,
Speaker 2: all right, let them go. They let go of their hands,
Speaker 2: all the women scream. The pont top be brothers start
Speaker 2: firing guns into the air. They set off Chekhov's Avalanche.
Speaker 2: It looks like Tony Montana sneezed at the end of
Speaker 2: the end of Scarface. I actually think that for the time,
Speaker 2: the special effect is pretty good.
Speaker 3: I think so too. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they block the pass up, so they have successfully
Speaker 2: cut off the town until the spring thaw. Right, that's
Speaker 2: what That's what we learned earlier, Right, you block the pass,
Speaker 2: ain't knowing getting through. Unfortunately, in the rush of everything,
Speaker 2: in their excitement to kidnap their girlfriends, they have forgotten
Speaker 2: to kidnap the parson as well. And I want to
Speaker 2: place blame here.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: Look, I'm gonna have a kidnapping plot. And there are
Speaker 2: six girlfriends and one parson to kidnap, and there are
Speaker 2: six men that are off to get these six girlfriends,
Speaker 2: and one man that sits in the sledge.
Speaker 1: The whole time, dick older brother.
Speaker 2: And doesn't kidnap the parson. Guess whose fault it is
Speaker 2: that the parson was.
Speaker 1: Not kidnapped the dick.
Speaker 2: Dick older brother.
Speaker 1: Ye, yeah, yeah, yeah, captain asshole.
Speaker 2: So there's no one to perform the weddings and Erica. Look,
Speaker 2: the Pannabee brothers might kidnap on suspecting women, but they
Speaker 2: draw the line at premarital relations.
Speaker 3: Well, that's nice.
Speaker 2: That is nice.
Speaker 1: That's good for them, and extra good for the terrified
Speaker 1: women they've kidnapped.
Speaker 3: Does this movie age?
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's fine. Fine, it's fine. It's historically accurate.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this apparently happened in the Foundation of Rome.
Speaker 2: Uh huh. This is why you don't give him Plutarch's lives.
Speaker 2: You could give him even if it's not feminist. Give
Speaker 2: him the DaVinci code. That's fine.
Speaker 3: He'll learn some shit. Yeah, learn about Florence.
Speaker 1: It'll be great.
Speaker 2: Give him a Stella got her groove back, expand his horizons.
Speaker 1: Give him Hunt for Red October. They'll learn about submarines.
Speaker 2: They'll love that.
Speaker 1: He'll love that novel. The brothers bring their women back
Speaker 1: to the cabin, where a horrified. Millie is like, oh,
Speaker 1: we should have gone over your talking points.
Speaker 2: I see where I went wrong when you said jazz.
Speaker 2: That's why I should have cut this up.
Speaker 1: There should have been a prep session this, this, this
Speaker 1: has gone horribly awry. She comforts the victims and throws
Speaker 1: the brothers all out of the house. She's like, you
Speaker 1: will all sleep in the barn with the rest of
Speaker 1: the livestock. As long as the women are in this house.
Speaker 1: You're not sleeping here. Fuck all, y'all. The six younger
Speaker 1: brothers are chastised. They listened to Millie. They're like, you
Speaker 1: know what now that you set.
Speaker 2: It out loud, Yeah, I heard it when you said it.
Speaker 1: When as soon as you say it out loud, I
Speaker 1: realized this plan maybe did not have the legs I
Speaker 1: thought it did.
Speaker 2: Adam said it in this way that it just sounded good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we really thought that. Now that, now that
Speaker 1: we've worked out all the fighter points, the legalese, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, this probably wasn't such a great idea. Yeah, sorry,
Speaker 1: our bed.
Speaker 2: Our bet we are gonna go to the barn with
Speaker 2: that argument.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Adam, however, is like.
Speaker 1: How a dare you woman? He is humiliated by his
Speaker 1: wife's Hutzpah, how dare she contradict him in front of
Speaker 1: not just his brothers but his future sister in laws.
Speaker 2: Think he's gonna have to room her too.
Speaker 6: Ah.
Speaker 1: He heads to the barn and tells the brothers that
Speaker 1: he's gonna go to the Pontipees trapping cabin until the
Speaker 1: spring thaw. What, I'm sorry, we had another property. There's
Speaker 1: a second property this family owns. Yeah, fuck you, man,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that that would have been good information
Speaker 1: to have earlier in the movie.
Speaker 2: How many cabins do you think they had? There's a
Speaker 2: trapping cabin, a hunting cabin, a shitting cabin, a fishing cabin.
Speaker 1: A Late Night with Stephen Colbert.
Speaker 2: Cabin, a Jorkin cabin. They need to have a jork
Speaker 2: And cabin, the same.
Speaker 1: One as the Late Night with Stephen Colbert cabin. Okay,
Speaker 1: they just really enjoy Stephen Colbert's humor. Absolutely, Who wouldn't
Speaker 1: that's funny.
Speaker 3: So basically he fucks off.
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm gonna go sit in this other cabin
Speaker 1: by myself because my wife has thoughts and I don't
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 6: M M.
Speaker 1: Gideon runs the house. He begs Millie to speak with Adam,
Speaker 1: but she says Adam has to learn that he cannot
Speaker 1: treat people like this, that women are now write this
Speaker 1: one down, Gideon, huh not chattle? Uh huh, thank you?
Speaker 2: And he's like, what is chattle means?
Speaker 1: And she's like, oh, you couldn't have kidnapped some books.
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ. So we now get a little bit of
Speaker 2: a montage, right. The brothers maintain the farm, they stay
Speaker 2: in the barn, They do not come into the house.
Speaker 2: The women start to get their revenge, shall we say,
Speaker 2: on them. They they're throwing snowballs on them. They're dumping
Speaker 2: water on them while they're outside, like shoveling the walk.
Speaker 2: They should be jump dumping chamber pots.
Speaker 3: Frankly, frankly, does she be just like a hail of tampons?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I used tampons and these men.
Speaker 2: There is a great moment where Dorcas. Can we just
Speaker 2: briefly talk about the hilarity of naming Julie Newmar Dorcas. Yes,
Speaker 2: I know it's a real name, it's a biblical name.
Speaker 2: I know it, but like Dorcas Dorcas, Yeah, leave it
Speaker 2: to the once in future catwoman to spike her snowballs
Speaker 2: with rocks. So when she hits Benjamin, he's.
Speaker 1: Like, OW love you.
Speaker 5: That really hurt.
Speaker 2: Still, Erica, they just can't resist those Pontipe brothers. There's
Speaker 2: actually a very cute sequence where Millie's inside she's like
Speaker 2: reading from the Bible to actually she's reading the Sabine women.
Speaker 2: I think to all these girls, the brothers like knock
Speaker 2: on the door and they each have a different problem.
Speaker 2: When I was like, can I get a blanket please,
Speaker 2: and she's like okay. And the next one knocks on
Speaker 2: the door and he's like, I need some linen liniment.
Speaker 2: I have a sore leg. She's like okay, And then
Speaker 2: knock on the door and there's all of them and
Speaker 2: she's like, just come in and get what you need.
Speaker 2: And every time they walk in like they're designated girl.
Speaker 2: It's like who the women Erica start to thaw long
Speaker 2: before the weather does.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well these guys are hot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know if did anyone take notes earlier
Speaker 1: and I when the most crucial thing to wooing a
Speaker 1: woman is just being attractive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there will be a test later.
Speaker 3: These boys all.
Speaker 1: All but one. Let's get there's one there's one. There's
Speaker 1: one that doesn't pass the test.
Speaker 2: He has a goofy charm. Yeah, if that's your type,
Speaker 2: if you like a little nerd, he does it. And
Speaker 2: you know what, he's a damn or so. The body
Speaker 2: is slick.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true, that's fair.
Speaker 2: But the face, the face is rough.
Speaker 1: Face. The face card does decline. As the winter wears on,
Speaker 1: the girls start to get cabin fever. And by cabin fever,
Speaker 1: I mean their bloomers are boiling locked up in the
Speaker 1: boy's old barrack. Dorcas, Oh geez, Louise, Julie Newmar, this
Speaker 1: is Catwoman. We're not calling her doorcass, I refuse. Catwoman
Speaker 1: gets a mischievous glint in her eye, and she wonders
Speaker 1: which of the brother's beds she's sleeping in, and like
Speaker 1: she goes full Catwoman, and I'm like, it's actually a
Speaker 1: little like.
Speaker 2: The same thought.
Speaker 1: She like lays down on her stomach on the bed
Speaker 1: and is kind of like like rubbing up against the sheets.
Speaker 2: And I was like, this is a movie that holds
Speaker 2: it's like biblical uh uh beliefs, very forward uh huh. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So she's like, hmm, I wonder who's bed I'm in?
Speaker 1: I wonder if I'm in.
Speaker 2: Benja just starts big a pillow.
Speaker 1: The other women are scandalized, Oh, dorkiss cat woman, how
Speaker 1: dare you? And they like one of them turns her
Speaker 1: nose up at her, and another one goes, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: I see you looking out the window at the men
Speaker 1: as they're doing their chores.
Speaker 2: Every time Frankin sends trots that hot little ass past
Speaker 2: the window, you're up there. Your nose is pressed up
Speaker 2: against it like Charlie Bucket out of chocolate factory.
Speaker 1: Ha ha.
Speaker 3: And she's like, how dare you?
Speaker 1: And the other one's like, I heard you rubbing went
Speaker 1: out the other night and screaming out Caleb's name.
Speaker 2: Thinking about Caleb's dumper. I know what you did.
Speaker 1: The massive amount of pheromones and horniness that's in this room.
Speaker 2: Their periods have also by this time, saying.
Speaker 3: Oh, they have definitely all sank.
Speaker 2: They are.
Speaker 1: They are a coven of horny, horned up women and
Speaker 1: the only way they could get it out is a
Speaker 1: fucking fist fight, and they do. They end up fighting
Speaker 1: each other. It's like a melee, just like the brothers
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the movie. They've lost their mind.
Speaker 1: Millie runs in and stops them by revealing that she's pregnant. Okay,
Speaker 1: that gets everyone to shut up. What now?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: What now?
Speaker 3: They're all like a baby, and I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, there's no hospital, there's barely running water. I don't
Speaker 1: love this for anyone.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, we'll help you give birth in the
Speaker 1: spring when the time comes. Oh a spring baby, how delightful.
Speaker 1: Like they're all into bully. Millie then leaves, and the
Speaker 1: women sing a song called June Bride about how excited
Speaker 1: they all are to be married someday.
Speaker 2: I have two notes about the scene. Number one, they say,
Speaker 2: when you marry in June, you will always be a bride.
Speaker 2: Do they say that? I don't think they say that.
Speaker 2: I think I think you get a day.
Speaker 1: I think they say when you marry in June, you've
Speaker 1: paid too much for exac. When you marry in June,
Speaker 1: you get screwed by the vendors. Getting married in June
Speaker 1: is a flex, But getting married on US Saturday and
Speaker 1: you are in Russian Oligarch's daughter, that.
Speaker 2: Is the only way. Second second point of order, Millie
Speaker 2: is pregnant. She says I'm giving birth in the spring. Now,
Speaker 2: I believe they say in this scene that they have
Speaker 2: been there for like two months. Okay, so presumptively, in
Speaker 2: the song they're about to sing, they're going to say
Speaker 2: it starts snowing in November. So let's give them that
Speaker 2: it started snowing in November at the Pontipee farm. Mm hmm,
Speaker 2: you can go downtown see their women. Let's give it
Speaker 2: a month. That's December. She's now giving birth in spring.
Speaker 2: She does not look pregnant. Her waist is as coursed
Speaker 2: as it has ever been.
Speaker 1: Oh, let's start talking for a second about Jane Powell's
Speaker 1: looks in this movie, the entire movie, even when she
Speaker 1: is wielding an axe, when she is plowing a field,
Speaker 1: milking a cow, scrubbing a foot. The hair is a
Speaker 1: perfect flouncy blonde ponytail, ponytail tied in the back, curled
Speaker 1: for the gods faces beat a huge amount of cream
Speaker 1: blush all over her face. There is perfect lipstick. There
Speaker 1: is perfect eyeshadow and blush and like mascara. Yeah, come
Speaker 1: the fuck on, come on, is this part of it
Speaker 1: for you? Like, and she's not pregnant, She's just not pregnant.
Speaker 2: She's simply not pregnant. My only point is if she's
Speaker 2: giving birth in June, she only has like at most
Speaker 2: two months left before June hits, and she is still corseted,
Speaker 2: so she would be she's like seven months pregnant at
Speaker 2: this point and she's corseted. That is what I'm trying
Speaker 2: to say, very unclearly.
Speaker 1: But I, oh, Paul, fat women, Well for sure, we're
Speaker 1: not putting that in our movie.
Speaker 2: Don't remember what he said about the but oh that size.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh that size. Heavenly sighs.
Speaker 1: But oh that size. I know he said eyes, but
Speaker 1: I think thighs is funnier.
Speaker 2: Okay, So the June Bride song segues directly into spring.
Speaker 2: Spring spring, as the snow melts away and the entire
Speaker 2: livestock population of the farm gives birth to various fowls
Speaker 2: and calves and chicks, et cetera. All the women have
Speaker 2: now impressed upon their respective kidnappers, so they've all gotten
Speaker 2: on board this entire things.
Speaker 1: Stockholm syndrome is a real thing, y'all.
Speaker 2: Yep, Millie gives birth to a little girl with a
Speaker 2: minimum of fuss, and everyone is very sweet to her.
Speaker 2: There's a very cute scene all the brothers like run
Speaker 2: upstairs to meet to meet the baby. They're all kissing
Speaker 2: her blah blah blah and and and Gideon says I'm
Speaker 2: an uncle and just falls over and faints.
Speaker 3: God bless russ hamblin.
Speaker 1: Very cute, so good. Gideon rides up to the trap
Speaker 1: and Cabin to tell Adam that he's a father, but
Speaker 1: of course Adam is not at the trap and Cabin
Speaker 1: because Adam has ensconced himself to the fap and cabin,
Speaker 1: where he has been for the last three months. And
Speaker 1: then later on he's gonna go to the wrapping cabin
Speaker 1: where he's gonna lay down some beats.
Speaker 2: And after that's he's gotta go to the crap and cabin, Yeah, to.
Speaker 1: Dump out, to dump out, Yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: And then and then he goes to the slaping cabin,
Speaker 2: where he has an effigy of Millie set up and
Speaker 2: he slaps her because he knows he can't slap his
Speaker 2: actual wife. Yep, that's the one line this movie does
Speaker 2: not cross.
Speaker 1: Not cross. No, we will not hit a woman, that's right.
Speaker 1: Then he heads on over to the nap and Cabin
Speaker 1: because he's pooped, guys, it's been a long day. He
Speaker 1: laid down some sick beat.
Speaker 2: He'sapped, wrapped, crapped and slapped. It's time to nap.
Speaker 3: Yep, yep, yep.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then he's going to go to the mapping cabin
Speaker 1: where it's just full of maps. But I digress. Gideon
Speaker 1: finds him at one of the many cabins. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: he's like, guess what, You're going to be a father,
Speaker 1: And Adam is so happy just to see his brother,
Speaker 1: and but then he's like, wait a minute, this is
Speaker 1: not real. I'm not a dad.
Speaker 3: You're it's just one of her tricks to get me back.
Speaker 2: What is the trick?
Speaker 1: What's the trick?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 1: The trick? I guess the trick is to lure him
Speaker 1: back with the idea that he's a dad and then
Speaker 1: be like sick, which is such a mean trick. That's
Speaker 1: fucking harsh.
Speaker 2: He also says a girl. I might have known she'd
Speaker 2: have a girl. Cool cool.
Speaker 1: Gideon gets real without him. Gideon like is like, okay,
Speaker 1: I've always looked up to you. You are my older brother,
Speaker 1: my surrogate father, and my mentor and my terrible teacher.
Speaker 3: But you are being a real dick.
Speaker 2: You're being a real butt head.
Speaker 3: You're being a class A asshole.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right now, we're not going to the dap in
Speaker 2: cabin because I'm not giving you DAPs. How's that?
Speaker 3: How's that dap in cabin is off limits to you, sir.
Speaker 2: You are DAP free until further notice. Dappin privileges revoked.
Speaker 1: Gideon says he knows that Adam can wipe the floor
Speaker 1: with him, but he doesn't care. He wants to make
Speaker 1: his feelings clear. He's like, you can hit me if
Speaker 1: you want, ye, but I'm just gonna tell you to
Speaker 1: your face that you are a dick. Millie deserves better.
Speaker 1: And then Gideon punches Adam in the face. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: so horny for Gideon right now. Adam takes it, Yep,
Speaker 1: doesn't retaliate. He just puts Gideon on his horse and
Speaker 1: sends him back. He says, I'll be back once the
Speaker 1: thaw reaches all the way to this trap cabin yep.
Speaker 2: And Gideon's like, you better go to the wrap and
Speaker 2: cabin do wr rapin' and wrap some presents and bring
Speaker 2: them back for a million your daughter.
Speaker 1: Yes, Yeah, they'd have a rapping cabin, just like just
Speaker 1: like Candy Spelling had that rapping that gift in her mansion.
Speaker 2: Absolutely one hundred percent by the way point of water.
Speaker 2: In case anyone's wondering how much time is left in
Speaker 2: this movie for them to wrap all of this up,
Speaker 2: the answer is eight minutes.
Speaker 1: Eight minutes because you know why, because they went to
Speaker 1: the snap and cabin and they got snappy, snappy with it.
Speaker 2: We cut to town and we hear the locals announced
Speaker 2: that the pass is open. It's time to go get
Speaker 2: their women back. It's amazing that these people are being
Speaker 2: like cast as the villains and they are just like,
Speaker 2: our daughters were kidnapped. We have to go rescue that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, can we rescue our daughters and sisters and friends.
Speaker 2: Please at the cabin, not not any of the app
Speaker 2: and cabins, just the main cabin. Huh, Millie. The brothers
Speaker 2: and their girlfriends are playing musical chairs.
Speaker 1: It's so hold, so cute, it's so wholesome.
Speaker 2: Adam appears and he's like, the pass is open, and
Speaker 2: everyone knows what that means. That means the townsfolk are
Speaker 2: gonna be coming to get their kidnapped relatives. Everyone springs
Speaker 2: into action. And Adam finally meets his daughter. He asks
Speaker 2: what her name is, and Millie says she was thinking
Speaker 2: Hannah or Hagar or Hepsiba to keep up the family
Speaker 2: tradition of biblical names. Sadly they choose Hannah. And I
Speaker 2: am here to say justice for Hagar Pontipee. Ha ha,
Speaker 2: justice for Hagar.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a real rough road. Yeah for Hagar Pontipee.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Adam says that as a father of a daughter, this
Speaker 1: is what he says.
Speaker 2: He if he doesn't say in those words, but this
Speaker 2: is the sentiment.
Speaker 1: This is where this, all that bullshit all comes from.
Speaker 1: How's the father of a daughter? He has realized that, guys,
Speaker 1: these women are now hang on to your.
Speaker 3: Hats when I tell you this people.
Speaker 1: Oh, they are actual fucking people. Yeah, and we got
Speaker 1: to take them back because you're not allowed to checkt notes,
Speaker 1: steal people. Yeah, didn't know that.
Speaker 2: I know it. My bad, Yeah, my fault, It's my fault.
Speaker 1: No one ever taught me that. Plutarch certainly led me
Speaker 1: astray here.
Speaker 2: I went to the yapp in cabin and I listened
Speaker 2: to some women yappin, and they told me that they
Speaker 2: were people and.
Speaker 1: Then I was feeling piqued, so I went to the
Speaker 1: snacking cabin, had some Dorido's.
Speaker 2: Then came back and I have come to realize.
Speaker 1: He also tells Millie that he loves her, and then
Speaker 1: they embraced because I guess whatever, that must be some
Speaker 1: world class dick.
Speaker 2: Yeah you deserved better, Millie.
Speaker 1: That has to be like world class a plus premium effect,
Speaker 1: like like one thousand dollars dick for her to be like, okay,
Speaker 1: cool cool. Adam tells his brothers they have to return
Speaker 1: the women to their families. It's the only way they'll
Speaker 1: have a real chance to be with them for real
Speaker 1: as people as what's the word it mics to pronounce
Speaker 1: this correctly, equals, equals, equals, equals, I don't know the
Speaker 1: words equals. That's what Millie says. Yeah, the brothers kind
Speaker 1: of disagree. They're like, or counterpoint, These ladies seem fine
Speaker 1: with us. Now, maybe we just leave things as they are.
Speaker 1: Adam's like, no, no, no. If we fight all the
Speaker 1: women's families, someone will wind up getting hurt, and then
Speaker 1: those women will never marry us, like marry into this
Speaker 1: family because they'll see us as hooligans.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Wow, he suddenly got some sense, some strategy. It wasn't
Speaker 1: been in the map and cabin that he learned.
Speaker 2: Strategy, learn strategy.
Speaker 1: The brothers have no answer to this, and honestly, it's
Speaker 1: very sound logic. So they're like, all right, let's go
Speaker 1: get our women. And all of a sudden, Milly appears
Speaker 1: and she's like, problem. The women have all run away.
Speaker 1: They all just pieced out. The brothers realize that the
Speaker 1: girlfriends have all hid so as not to be forced
Speaker 1: to leave their beloved assigned pontipiece.
Speaker 2: We have what amounts to a chase scene. The brothers
Speaker 2: scramble all over the farmstead trying to find the women
Speaker 2: and force them to go back into town. Erica. I
Speaker 2: have a very important question for you. What is a
Speaker 2: worse hiding place? Is it sitting on the awning of
Speaker 2: the porch, maybe six feet in the air, when half
Speaker 2: of these brothers are over six feet tall or under
Speaker 2: a cow an active cow, an active.
Speaker 1: Cow, and one of their wives, yeah, and a beloved.
Speaker 2: Ride, a beloved bride to one of the.
Speaker 3: Brothers, to the simplest of the brothers.
Speaker 1: These women maybe deserve their fate A little bit, I
Speaker 1: little bit, A little bit because they are clinically stupid.
Speaker 2: Uh huh. Meanwhile, the townsfolk arrive and the parson here
Speaker 2: is Hannah crying. Much to his dismay, he.
Speaker 1: Goes, oh, no, Hannah, by the way, is the baby.
Speaker 2: There's a general melee, and eventually the townsfolks subdue the
Speaker 2: Pontipee brothers and announce they're going to hang them all
Speaker 2: from the nearest tree. The women are beside themselves. Oh
Speaker 2: my god, but I love them, But Papa no, And
Speaker 2: Parson says, wait, wait, wait, we're all fathers here. We
Speaker 2: love you, and we want you to tell us the truth.
Speaker 2: Whose baby is it that I heard crying? And the
Speaker 2: women all pause and they look at each other and
Speaker 2: they look back and they all say at the same time, mine,
Speaker 2: how long is the winter?
Speaker 3: Also?
Speaker 1: Yes, this is where I'm on board with you with
Speaker 1: your dubious pregnancy mass. Is that there is no These
Speaker 1: women have not been there more than three months? No,
Speaker 1: what do men think happen? Truly? How does this happen?
Speaker 2: With no other choice? The families all co sign a
Speaker 2: six way shotgun wedding. The parson marries them. The Pontipee
Speaker 2: brothers all stand with their brides. The fathers stand behind
Speaker 2: them with shotguns and they all get married as Adam
Speaker 2: and Millie kiss off to the side, and that is
Speaker 2: the end of the movie.
Speaker 1: Wow yeah, all right, way to rehabilitate Adam in the
Speaker 1: last fucking.
Speaker 8: Minute of the movie as the father of a daughter,
Speaker 8: as the brother of a sister, as the son of
Speaker 8: a mother.
Speaker 2: As someone who has met women or really humans.
Speaker 3: Incredible, all right, you know they are people too.
Speaker 1: What that is crazy? Insane?
Speaker 2: All right, everyone stick around. We were going to be
Speaker 2: right back with our random observations and final rankings for
Speaker 2: seven brides for seven brothers.
Speaker 3: And we're back.
Speaker 1: Paul has kidnapped me and brought me, kicking and scream
Speaker 1: into this studio yep, to hear his random observations. Everyone
Speaker 1: pay attention. A man is speaking, go, I've kind of
Speaker 1: roomed you, roomed.
Speaker 2: I've roomed you. Okay, So there's you know, we talked.
Speaker 2: I talked about how like with the friend when Milly
Speaker 2: was like, I got an awful feeling here and you
Speaker 2: couldn't see it.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: It happens again in the movie because after they fight,
Speaker 2: Milly is talking to Gideon russ Hamlin, the youngest one
Speaker 2: and all the other brothers have left, and he says,
Speaker 2: I feel awful strange like Milly here, but the way
Speaker 2: they have it staged. He has like one hand up
Speaker 2: to his face and it's blocking the rest of his body.
Speaker 2: So you're like, where you're crotch. What is he pointing
Speaker 2: to is? I know it's his heart, but like I
Speaker 2: can't see his hand.
Speaker 3: It would be amazing.
Speaker 1: He was pointing right at his buttthole, like he was
Speaker 1: leaning back and pointing.
Speaker 2: At his I've got a fire down below. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: I'm not talking about my pubes this time.
Speaker 3: I hate to say there's a growth.
Speaker 1: Can you look at it for me?
Speaker 2: You may need to boil the butcher knife and cut
Speaker 2: it off.
Speaker 3: We're gonna need a LANs In cabin.
Speaker 2: It's a Lanson cabin.
Speaker 1: If this is an unprecedented because yeah, I left everything
Speaker 1: on the field, everything, all my notes I had about
Speaker 1: this movie, I said during the regular regular run of
Speaker 1: the show. Okay, so I just want to bring this
Speaker 1: back to the great Opus, the American opis that is
Speaker 1: sob and women and regale you with a couple of
Speaker 1: lines that I neglected to give you earlier.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is Adam.
Speaker 1: While the Romans was going out hobbin nobbin, starting up fights.
Speaker 1: They kept occupied by sowing lots of little old togas
Speaker 1: for them tots and saying, someday women folks have rights.
Speaker 2: And if anyone's wondering, that is presented as a joke, Yeah,
Speaker 2: a full joke.
Speaker 1: Hi, hilarious that these women think they have rights. Not
Speaker 1: funny now, Look I get there's like a sheen of
Speaker 1: irony to it because we are watching this. It's of
Speaker 1: course this story takes place in eighteen fifty, but we're
Speaker 1: watching it in nineteen fifty, right when.
Speaker 3: The movie comes out some one hundred years later, and.
Speaker 2: So audience everything has been fixed.
Speaker 3: Presumably in nineteen fifty.
Speaker 1: Audiences are like, isn't that funny how backwards people were
Speaker 1: in Frontiers time. Anyway, I'm gonna go to the whites
Speaker 1: only bathroom.
Speaker 2: I only have one more. I only have one more.
Speaker 2: I also left a lot in the field. And it's
Speaker 2: simply a compliment for the movie because obviously we've been
Speaker 2: very harsh on I've been very harsh in the music.
Speaker 2: I don't think any of the music is priticarly good.
Speaker 2: One lyric I actually heard it. I was like, that's
Speaker 2: a good lyrics. That's clever, Johnny Mercer. I see the
Speaker 2: fact that I know you're an incredibly talented lyricist. In
Speaker 2: this lyric, it's during the song spring Spring Spring, as
Speaker 2: we are looking at all of the all the different
Speaker 2: ducks and geese and young animals around the farm, and
Speaker 2: one of the brothers of the women saying, I don't
Speaker 2: know which one my nature's lyrical with her yearly miracle,
Speaker 2: And I.
Speaker 1: Was like, you know what, it's clever, that is clever,
Speaker 1: it's horrible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never heard that rhyme before.
Speaker 1: Congratulations, Touch yourself on the back, Johnny Mercer.
Speaker 2: That one was good. Erica. How are we gonna rank
Speaker 2: seven brides for seven brothers.
Speaker 3: Seven unholy skid marks?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: You know what? She needed to get holy water?
Speaker 1: That holy water to need a full priest.
Speaker 2: The power of Christ compels you on their underwear.
Speaker 1: To cleanse that cabin. Sage is not going to cover it. No,
Speaker 1: you can't just sage that cabin.
Speaker 2: Popery is not up to the test.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, Yeah, we're gonna need a flamethrower. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gets this shit clean.
Speaker 2: A glad day plug in is not going to be enough.
Speaker 2: How about one to ten brassy gingers, hot Benjamins, Yeah,
Speaker 2: hot Benjamin, I'd like ten. I'd like a full ten.
Speaker 3: Baker's doesn't frankly hot Benjamins.
Speaker 2: Please, please, and thank you.
Speaker 1: How About one to ten cabins different types of cabins.
Speaker 1: For example, Adam would at some point go to his
Speaker 1: scrapping cabin. That's where he goes to scrap book.
Speaker 2: Oh see, I thought you're gonna say, he goes he
Speaker 2: goes to like practice fighting.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no no, it's where it's where he
Speaker 1: really enjoys arts and crafts.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah. Or sometimes they go to the tap and
Speaker 2: cabin where they try to teach hot Benjamin how to dance.
Speaker 1: Ooh yeah yeah. Or sometimes they go to the lapp
Speaker 1: in Cabin, which is where they just go to the
Speaker 1: y and swim laps. It's a y, it's it's not
Speaker 1: actually a cabin. Here's a ymca near their homestead.
Speaker 2: They go to the cap and cabin. It's where they
Speaker 2: keep their hats.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, you.
Speaker 2: Gotta go to the capin cabinet, you do hat? How
Speaker 2: about one to ten babysitters club crossovers? Yes, what this
Speaker 2: movie really needed was those seven young girls to come
Speaker 2: in Christy Thomas to set these boys right.
Speaker 1: She would have whipped them all into shape. I mean,
Speaker 1: not that Millie didn't do an amazing job.
Speaker 2: No notes on Millie.
Speaker 3: Millie is perfect.
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean except for her like weird blind devotion
Speaker 1: to the worst man alive. She is perfect. Let's do
Speaker 1: this one, this one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, do you want to go first? Or shall
Speaker 2: I go first?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 1: I cannot wait to hear what you're gonna say. I'm
Speaker 1: sure to be surprised by whatever Paul comes up with
Speaker 1: for this. Absolutely, How does this film A I just.
Speaker 2: Think it's It just portrays a time that I think
Speaker 2: we're a nostalgic four where were yearning to go back
Speaker 2: where things weren't called gender stereotypes and gender roles. There
Speaker 2: was just a feeling of who does what, whose job is?
Speaker 2: Who is? The lines were simply clear, and that's all
Speaker 2: we want. Clarity. No, he just terribly. It's a it's
Speaker 2: a zero erica. The whole thing is rotten to the core.
Speaker 1: I still can genuinely like, Look, it's because it's a
Speaker 1: fun movie. I get why an audience in nineteen fifty
Speaker 1: four would have been. I do not understand the Academy
Speaker 1: Award nominations.
Speaker 3: I simply do not.
Speaker 1: Like A Star Is Born came out the same year
Speaker 1: Carmen Jones came out the same year.
Speaker 2: I enjoyed it. I did because it at this point,
Speaker 2: it really is so so backwards. It's like that thing
Speaker 2: where they circle just all the way back around to
Speaker 2: be like, you know what, I can't even get upset
Speaker 2: about this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I actually totally agree, so I was not annoyed.
Speaker 2: But if we're just gonna be honest, does it eight?
Speaker 2: You know what? Actually, Millie is almost a good enough
Speaker 2: character that I think Milli's so good I think I
Speaker 2: can give it a one. Oh yeah, because Millie, to
Speaker 2: the movie's credit, like you said, outside of just buying
Speaker 2: Adam at all is great. She is a hard worker.
Speaker 2: She is like I have to like find my way
Speaker 2: out of this. I'm going to like teach these boys
Speaker 2: how to be acceptable to like just go with Millie,
Speaker 2: don't think about how they wind up with the women.
Speaker 2: But like, yeah, she is she takes action. She's an
Speaker 2: active character. She is not like, oh this is great, Yes,
Speaker 2: you should go kidnap those women and bring them up here.
Speaker 2: Because this is the pontipee Eden and the men all
Speaker 2: adore her and they and they really do treat her
Speaker 2: very well and very very honorably. And there's no that
Speaker 2: she never gets hit, which would be well within the
Speaker 2: possibility of this movie, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not even in a like a Ricky Ricardo shoulder
Speaker 1: like I'm.
Speaker 3: Gonna, you know, like thank you kind of way.
Speaker 1: Like. No, they are very respectful to Millie.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So as awful as this movie ages, I think I'm
Speaker 2: gonna give it a one rather than a zero, just
Speaker 2: to honor.
Speaker 3: Milli and Jane Powell's performance of Milli.
Speaker 2: Which is very very good. And I other than that,
Speaker 2: I don't think I need to explain anything there. The
Speaker 2: closest gets to gay content is when all the brothers
Speaker 2: learn how to dance together.
Speaker 1: Uh huh uh uh.
Speaker 2: There are no people of color. The women certainly don't
Speaker 2: talk to each other about anything other than men. Although
Speaker 2: all of the bride I didn't bother to name all
Speaker 2: the brides. All of the brides are named in the movie.
Speaker 1: I didn't bother because it's just because you heard the
Speaker 1: word Dorcas and your brain froze stopped.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give it a one out of ten Babysitters
Speaker 2: Club crossovers, Erica, what do you think?
Speaker 1: You know? I don't disagree with you. I think it
Speaker 1: was really funny the journey of watching the movie, because
Speaker 1: I was waiting to get like, my eyre up. I mean,
Speaker 1: I knew it was gonna be absurd and ridiculous, So
Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting to be like actually offended or anything,
Speaker 1: but I was waiting to be like, fuck this movie. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it kind of got a new my skin. And I
Speaker 1: was like, I showed up to Paul's and I was like,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be shocked by this. I enjoyed that. I
Speaker 1: actually really enjoyed that dumb movie, and so like that
Speaker 1: is the that is the beauty of the movie, right,
Speaker 1: Like it's the saving grace of the movie.
Speaker 2: And the dancing, obviously.
Speaker 3: Dancing, the performances, everything you just said.
Speaker 1: True. Millie is a great character. The way the other
Speaker 1: brothers all treat Milly is wonderful. There is truly like
Speaker 1: a Wendy Darling situation here where they all kind of
Speaker 1: make her their surrogate mom and they're very respectful and
Speaker 1: they listen to her, and it's it's very nice, it's
Speaker 1: very charming. Unfortunately, their surrogate dad is the fucking devil himself.
Speaker 1: So there's like an like almost like a wide eyed
Speaker 1: innocence to the whole thing that makes it very easy, yeah,
Speaker 1: to swallow, very palatable. However, it's a zero. It's a
Speaker 1: zero for all the reasons that we normally like women
Speaker 1: only talk about Menuh the there's no people of color.
Speaker 2: There is no sexual assault, which is which is good.
Speaker 3: I mean no, but I there's kidnapping.
Speaker 1: Yes, there's putting.
Speaker 2: There's actual assaults.
Speaker 1: There's putting a there's putting like a fucking blanket over
Speaker 1: a woman's head and snatching her away from her house
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, and then that woman
Speaker 1: falling in love with her kidnapping.
Speaker 2: Yeah, remember we got all mad at Beauty and the Beast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, this is bad, you guys, this is really
Speaker 1: fucking bad. And like again, like like it would have
Speaker 1: been great if if like one of those women really
Speaker 1: like the Benjamin obviously, Yeah, like if dor Kiss and
Speaker 1: Benjamin were.
Speaker 3: Like, we are horned for each other and I'm fine
Speaker 3: with being kidnapped.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like two of the others were like you
Speaker 1: know what, I was gonna be an old maid anyway,
Speaker 1: so this is fine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then two of the other women were like,
Speaker 3: these guys suck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, am I wrong?
Speaker 1: I got the ugly one. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: in this marriage at all. I'm gay, so I couldn't.
Speaker 1: That would have been fantastic. It's nineteen fifty four. It's
Speaker 1: certainly not gonna happen. So yeah, no, it's gotta be
Speaker 1: a zero. It's got to be does not age well
Speaker 1: in any way, which is why all of our listeners
Speaker 1: were like, you, guys, you gotta watch this dumpster fire. However,
Speaker 1: if you have seen it in the past, if it's
Speaker 1: like something could send me near and dear to you
Speaker 1: because like you grew up watching it, or like maybe
Speaker 1: it was like your parents liked this movie and whatever,
Speaker 1: Like that's fine. It's it is basically harmless because of
Speaker 1: what Paul said, It's so absurd and so dumb and
Speaker 1: so over the top that it does circle around to
Speaker 1: being fine. I guess, because like no one's taking this seriously.
Speaker 1: Yeah again. Though nominated for Best Picture.
Speaker 2: Best Picture, Best Picture, Best Screenplay, I can almost see
Speaker 2: Best Picture more than Best Screenplay.
Speaker 1: This came out after Casablanca and After All About Eve
Speaker 1: and After Sunset Boulevard, like all those movies happened first
Speaker 1: and then this one, and the Academy was like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: this deserves to be a best picture, not its awesome,
Speaker 1: so wild Wild. I don't have the background in musical
Speaker 1: theater to offer a proper palette cleanser, because I don't
Speaker 1: know what would be like a proper equivalent to this movie.
Speaker 1: I would suggest, because I'm really am in love with
Speaker 1: Russ Hamblin, I would suggest West Side Story. However, that
Speaker 1: is an enormous bummer.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So if you're looking for like a jazzy good time, Paul,
Speaker 1: do you have something for that?
Speaker 2: Well? So I went a little more specific because the
Speaker 2: dance sequences were so good in this one. I was like,
Speaker 2: what is like a lesser known amazing dance sequence. And
Speaker 2: my friend Michael sent me this a little while ago.
Speaker 2: If you look up gene Kelly tap dancing in roller skates, Oh,
Speaker 2: it's so good, you're gonna be brought to a video
Speaker 2: of Gene Kelly singing I like myself from the musical
Speaker 2: It's Always fair Weather.
Speaker 6: Hm.
Speaker 2: I don't know what this movie is about. I don't
Speaker 2: know what at ages well overall, but you can just
Speaker 2: watch the scene where Gene Kelly is literally doing difficult
Speaker 2: tap dancing in actual roller skates. Yeah, and it's incredible.
Speaker 3: Oh god, singing in the Rain.
Speaker 1: Singing in the Rain came out before this movie and
Speaker 1: they were like best Picture nominally.
Speaker 3: This is as good as Singing in the Rain.
Speaker 2: This.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Singing in the Rain has really nothing to do
Speaker 1: with this movie. I don't think there's any crossover. But
Speaker 1: Singing in the Rain is perfect.
Speaker 2: Okay, there you go.
Speaker 6: Movie.
Speaker 2: All right, Erica, That is the end of our show.
Speaker 2: Everyone listening, All you backdoor broncos, all you stage door
Speaker 2: salies out there. You can follow us on social media.
Speaker 2: We're on Blue Sky, We're on Threads, and we are
Speaker 2: on Instagram. Instagram is where we post our monthly themes,
Speaker 2: where we accept requests specifically for those monthly themes. If
Speaker 2: you want to get into on that, you gotta follow
Speaker 2: us on Instagram. We have a tea public shop. We
Speaker 2: would love it if you were you a five star
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Speaker 2: you use. If you do that, just like g Funky
Speaker 2: and just now from the top of this episode, and
Speaker 2: let us know you did. We will send you with
Speaker 2: that age well tope bag and if you don't know
Speaker 2: how to do it well. In the show notes of
Speaker 2: this episode, I have left a link to rate this
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Speaker 2: just guide you through the whole process quick and painless.
Speaker 1: Title of my sex tape, Yeah That Aged Well is
Speaker 1: produced and edited by Paul Brassy Ginger Kola. We would
Speaker 1: like to thank Amy and Marybeth, Tanya, Jessica, Mary Kimberly, Mara,
Speaker 1: Shannon Fay, Emily Kelly, Erica different Erica, not me, Olivia,
Speaker 1: and a couple of people whose names cannot be determined
Speaker 1: from their social media profiles. Also, I just want to
Speaker 1: give a shout out to the people who for years
Speaker 1: have been shouting at us to do this movie, to
Speaker 1: cover this film, and we're not just mentioned because they
Speaker 1: did it two years ago or a year ago. You've
Speaker 1: been heard, We heard you, and we're not sorry. We
Speaker 1: watched it. Thank you all for reaching out consistently and
Speaker 1: letting us know what you want to hear.
Speaker 3: If you want to.
Speaker 1: Have a say in the topics we discussed, you can
Speaker 1: join our Patreon. Every patron gets to vote in an
Speaker 1: exclusive monthly poll to determine one of our subjects. So
Speaker 1: head on over to patreon dot com slash that Aged
Speaker 1: Well podcast to find out more. Speaking of which, some
Speaker 1: tears and our Patreon come with thanks from a podcast character.
Speaker 1: And today we're hearing from the one, the Only, the
Speaker 1: icon the moment, Miss Piggy.
Speaker 3: Piggy is everything. Okay, yo, you what really salts my pork?
Speaker 1: Uh No, that was rhetorical.
Speaker 5: I'll tell you who does it?
Speaker 1: Martha Stuart.
Speaker 5: I left her a message asking for a nice.
Speaker 6: Lunch between old friends, and her team responded that they
Speaker 6: wanted more to make an on screen appearance with Martha.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, I can see how that could be upsetting.
Speaker 2: Who would you know about it?
Speaker 1: You have a lot of old friends with teams mmmmm.
Speaker 6: So even though it really spirals my hand to be
Speaker 6: talking to underlings when I know Martha has my number,
Speaker 6: I said, certainly, and I sent in the basics in
Speaker 6: my appearance. Fee.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I take it. They they didn't want to
Speaker 1: meet your feet.
Speaker 5: Oh wow, step aside, miss Gleo. There's a new act
Speaker 5: in town.
Speaker 2: You got any one hundred number to go with that?
Speaker 1: Crystal ball.
Speaker 3: Hey, nobody cares.
Speaker 2: Martha's lucky that your email came in right as I
Speaker 2: received the counter offer, because my bacon.
Speaker 6: Was sizzling enough.
Speaker 2: Then I might have sent her financials to the FBI again, huh.
Speaker 6: At least I know my fee is always met here.
Speaker 1: So I'm thrilled to come and say.
Speaker 6: Thank you to Michael Escobie though for being a patron
Speaker 6: of that age.
Speaker 3: Dwell, well, thank you, Peggy.
Speaker 1: Were very reclaiming my time.
Speaker 7: Okay, Michael, you seem like a lovely person. And just remember,
Speaker 7: if you are ever speaking to a legend of a
Speaker 7: stage and screen, the appearance fee is not a starting
Speaker 7: point for a negotiation. And if you ever speak to Martha.
Speaker 6: Stewart, you can remind you that I am not a
Speaker 6: flea market vendor.
Speaker 5: I am goddamn miss Peggy.
Speaker 2: Wow she was hot today.
Speaker 1: Ouch. Yeah, I thought she might hit me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so glad.
Speaker 2: I'm surprised me get a hia.
Speaker 1: She was violence today.
Speaker 2: She was she was sizzling, which she said she was sizzling,
Speaker 2: and she was right.
Speaker 1: It smelled really good in here.
Speaker 2: It was delicious.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have to say it smelled real.
Speaker 2: I want breakfast, all right, Erica, any final thoughts on
Speaker 2: seven Brides for seven Brothers.
Speaker 3: I'm going to go out to my whacking cabin.
Speaker 1: That's where that's where Joe Pesci from Goodfellas lives, and
Speaker 1: he and I are going to go whack some people.
Speaker 2: Have you see miss Piggy there? Run?
Speaker 1: Run run? What if you got like kidnapped by the
Speaker 1: ugly one?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: What if the ugly one?
Speaker 1: Like and I'm not naming names, yeah, because you know what,
Speaker 1: there might be someone different for other people. Sure, but
Speaker 1: you and I both know who we're talking about. If
Speaker 1: that was the one that came to my door, and
Speaker 1: and like I could, I just looked at Benjamin or like,
Speaker 1: I think Daniel one of them is hot, Caleb and
Speaker 1: Daniel I like, but I can't remember.
Speaker 3: There is a middle one that's like a very close second.
Speaker 2: We're going this through process of a limiting. Frank's also hot.
Speaker 2: They're all hot.
Speaker 1: Look and Russ Tamblin is unimpeachable. I am not talking
Speaker 1: about Russ Hamplin. He does have a bulldog face, but
Speaker 1: I am not talking about Russ Hamplin.