WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:03.520 So I was at the therapist's office the other day. 2 00:00:03.520 --> 00:00:08.839 We say, we all boosed amongst us, and I was 3 00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:12.080 like talking to her about like wanting to live in 4 00:00:12.080 --> 00:00:14.640 the moment more and not being so afraid all the 5 00:00:14.679 --> 00:00:16.920 time and blah blah blah. And I don't know why 6 00:00:17.160 --> 00:00:20.399 I mentioned she's she's clearly younger than me, which I 7 00:00:20.440 --> 00:00:22.719 don't hold against her because she's a very good therapist. 8 00:00:22.920 --> 00:00:25.359 I was like, you know that play Art Town. Yeah, no, no, 9 00:00:25.359 --> 00:00:27.920 I said to her, and she was like no. And 10 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:30.600 I was like, so at the end of Our Town, 11 00:00:30.920 --> 00:00:32.640 there's like a scene right where a bunch of the 12 00:00:32.719 --> 00:00:35.359 characters have died and now they're they're in heaven or whatever. 13 00:00:35.439 --> 00:00:38.600 It's some liminal space, and this one girl gets to 14 00:00:38.600 --> 00:00:42.119 go back for a day. And I acted out the 15 00:00:42.359 --> 00:00:47.320 entire last scene of Our Town to her, where I 16 00:00:47.439 --> 00:00:51.399 was like, hot coffee in beds. Is it possible we 17 00:00:51.520 --> 00:00:54.200 missed all of this while it was really happening, And 18 00:00:54.320 --> 00:00:56.679 like she and I swear to god, I almost had 19 00:00:56.719 --> 00:01:00.880 her crying. I was crying. She was in tears. She 20 00:01:01.079 --> 00:01:04.120 was like that play sounds amazing, you know, like it's 21 00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:06.079 on Broadway right now. You could go see it. 22 00:01:06.159 --> 00:01:09.439 Sheldon's in it. The first stage manager to say, bazinga. 23 00:01:09.120 --> 00:01:25.519 It's amazing. Hey on Paul in America and this is 24 00:01:25.560 --> 00:01:28.079 that aged well, yesterday's pop culture. 25 00:01:28.120 --> 00:01:30.799 Today it's January. It's a new year. 26 00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:33.040 It's twenty twenty five, baby, that's. 27 00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:37.040 Right, And for January twenty twenty five, we're doing nighttime soaps. 28 00:01:37.439 --> 00:01:42.079 They're steamy, they're sexy, they make no fucking sense. 29 00:01:42.120 --> 00:01:44.879 They have casts that are no fewer than seventeen people 30 00:01:44.959 --> 00:01:46.400 at any given taken and. 31 00:01:46.400 --> 00:01:49.200 All of them are blondes, all of them. It's for you. 32 00:01:49.319 --> 00:01:50.799 Daphne's gonna go. We see you girls. 33 00:01:50.879 --> 00:01:54.359 There's one brunette and she's either she's either the smart 34 00:01:54.359 --> 00:01:57.120 one or like the unattractive one, yeah, or. 35 00:01:57.120 --> 00:01:59.879 Usually both or usually both. Yeah. Yeah, she's the villain. 36 00:02:00.120 --> 00:02:03.000 Maybe I don't sometimes something, yeah, a Redheads villain if 37 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:04.959 you're the Brenda, for example, and then a two and 38 00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:07.319 oh you're you're you're the lead, but also kind of 39 00:02:07.319 --> 00:02:08.000 the villain. 40 00:02:07.760 --> 00:02:12.919 Of the show. Before we get to today's nighttime soap Erica, 41 00:02:13.240 --> 00:02:15.960 we do have a couple of five star Apple podcast reviews. 42 00:02:15.960 --> 00:02:16.560 Shall I read? 43 00:02:16.680 --> 00:02:16.960 Sure? 44 00:02:17.080 --> 00:02:19.800 All right? So this is from Kathia eighty and they 45 00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:22.199 write love it. I've said it before, and I feel 46 00:02:22.240 --> 00:02:24.960 the need to say it again in such a stressful time. 47 00:02:24.960 --> 00:02:25.680 What are you talking about? 48 00:02:25.759 --> 00:02:28.039 I don't know what you're talking about. I feel great. Yeah, nothing, 49 00:02:28.360 --> 00:02:29.560 nothing terrible is happening. 50 00:02:31.080 --> 00:02:33.199 It is so fun to listen to the movie recaps 51 00:02:33.199 --> 00:02:36.520 and laugh along. I thoroughly enjoyed Drop Dead, Fred and Mermaids. 52 00:02:37.039 --> 00:02:40.360 Thank you for doing the Urbs. It's one of my favorites. Suggestion. 53 00:02:40.919 --> 00:02:44.039 One of my favorite lesser known and reviewed movies Welcome 54 00:02:44.039 --> 00:02:45.800 Home Roxy Carmichael. 55 00:02:45.919 --> 00:02:48.560 Ooh, okay, this is at least the second review we've 56 00:02:48.599 --> 00:02:51.439 read that's done, that's requested. Welcome Home Roxy Car Michel 57 00:02:51.520 --> 00:02:54.120 is someone a writer joint? Yes, it is Jeff Daniels 58 00:02:54.120 --> 00:02:55.680 when on a writer. I saw it when I was 59 00:02:55.719 --> 00:02:58.439 a kid. I kind of remember liking this movie. I 60 00:02:58.439 --> 00:03:00.080 think I think we should do Welcome Home Rocks the 61 00:03:00.120 --> 00:03:00.560 Car Michael. 62 00:03:00.639 --> 00:03:03.039 I wonder if I may have actually seen it. I'd 63 00:03:03.039 --> 00:03:03.960 like the vaguest memories. 64 00:03:04.039 --> 00:03:05.400 I feel like it should have been a hit, but 65 00:03:05.439 --> 00:03:08.919 that that title hamstrung it. Sure like no one wanted 66 00:03:08.960 --> 00:03:09.319 to see it. 67 00:03:09.400 --> 00:03:11.719 Well, as soon as you find out that Winona Ryder 68 00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:13.800 is not playing Roxy Carmichael, You're like, what the fuck 69 00:03:13.840 --> 00:03:14.240 are we doing? 70 00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:18.759 Why? But what why do you lie to me? Shall 71 00:03:18.759 --> 00:03:19.759 I read our second review? 72 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:20.240 Please do? 73 00:03:20.919 --> 00:03:23.159 Second review comes from thank you five. 74 00:03:23.159 --> 00:03:25.759 Thank you five, Thank you five, Thank you theater kids. 75 00:03:25.680 --> 00:03:28.919 The theater kid. This the theater kid. Love this show. 76 00:03:29.280 --> 00:03:32.039 I haven't left this hard in my car ever. Well, 77 00:03:32.120 --> 00:03:36.080 you've never committed vehicular homicide. 78 00:03:35.599 --> 00:03:37.840 Remember Erica. Not everyone thinks that's hysterical. 79 00:03:37.879 --> 00:03:42.960 It's hilarious of the time. This funny and informative show 80 00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:46.560 about pop culture hits and missus is amazing. Such a 81 00:03:46.599 --> 00:03:49.560 pick me up. I highly recommend the episode on Casper 82 00:03:50.319 --> 00:03:53.520 had me in tears. I kind of remember. There's a 83 00:03:53.520 --> 00:03:54.520 lot of splooge jokes. 84 00:03:54.599 --> 00:03:56.680 There was a lot of splooge jokes. There was there 85 00:03:56.719 --> 00:04:00.800 was a perennial that age. Well favorite Kathy Moriarty scream 86 00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:02.520 speaking all of her lines. 87 00:04:02.520 --> 00:04:04.280 To a poor Eric Idol. 88 00:04:04.439 --> 00:04:06.639 Eric Idol, Yeah, I can't remember his lawyers that the 89 00:04:06.719 --> 00:04:08.159 characters name he was are lawyer liar. 90 00:04:08.479 --> 00:04:08.919 Amazing? 91 00:04:11.199 --> 00:04:14.439 All right, So, Kathia eighty, thank you five. Thank you 92 00:04:14.439 --> 00:04:16.560 so much for these reviews. If you would like aid that, hwell, 93 00:04:16.600 --> 00:04:19.040 topeag go ahead and contact us. I will send it 94 00:04:19.079 --> 00:04:22.399 off for you right away, Erica, what is our inaugural 95 00:04:22.519 --> 00:04:24.959 nighttime soap that we're kicking off January with? 96 00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:28.240 We're kicking it off with a bang, y'all. Today, we're 97 00:04:28.360 --> 00:04:31.519 covering an episode of melrose Place. 98 00:04:32.519 --> 00:04:37.360 So this was requested by Robin Don, Jan Miggey, Shannon Luis, 99 00:04:37.720 --> 00:04:43.199 Aurelian Camille, Kevin, Mike, William, Vanessa and Adam so. Melrose 100 00:04:43.240 --> 00:04:45.959 Place was a primetime soap and part of the Beverly 101 00:04:46.040 --> 00:04:47.879 Hills nine two one zero Expanded. 102 00:04:47.560 --> 00:04:50.040 Universe created by Darren Stott. 103 00:04:50.680 --> 00:04:52.519 I didn't know that there was a Beverly Hills nine 104 00:04:52.600 --> 00:04:56.759 two universe until extend Universe, until I started researching the show. 105 00:04:57.000 --> 00:05:01.160 Oh yeah, wait a minute, aside, I guess because stuff 106 00:05:01.199 --> 00:05:04.639 span spun off from melrose Place, but nothing else. I'll 107 00:05:04.720 --> 00:05:07.560 ink nothing else spun off of nine two and oh 108 00:05:07.639 --> 00:05:11.879 did they? Or did California Dreams spin off from nine 109 00:05:11.879 --> 00:05:12.120 o two? 110 00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:12.319 And oh? 111 00:05:12.439 --> 00:05:15.199 California Dreams was another one in this era that had 112 00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:18.759 Jamie Walters in it, and I had such a crush 113 00:05:18.839 --> 00:05:20.879 and had that song how Do You Talk to an Angel? 114 00:05:21.000 --> 00:05:24.120 Which I could sing today to this day. Every lyric, 115 00:05:24.360 --> 00:05:26.800 every goddamn lyric, but I think that might have also 116 00:05:26.839 --> 00:05:28.199 been a spinoff of nine to two. And oh, don't 117 00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:30.759 quote me on that exit thing, but I do remember 118 00:05:30.879 --> 00:05:36.199 it's Grant Show. Is the connective tissue between this show and. 119 00:05:35.720 --> 00:05:38.199 Because Kelly had a crush on Grant Show, Jake. 120 00:05:38.319 --> 00:05:40.639 Yeah, I think they may have maybe dated, which would 121 00:05:40.639 --> 00:05:44.279 have been less than kosher given Kelly was underage. But whatever, 122 00:05:44.360 --> 00:05:44.680 moving on. 123 00:05:44.759 --> 00:05:48.439 We didn't really worry about that this time. So Melrose 124 00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:51.920 Place aired from nineteen ninety two to nineteen ninety nine. 125 00:05:52.160 --> 00:05:56.959 We will be discussing season two, episode twenty eight, entitled 126 00:05:57.279 --> 00:05:58.199 the Bitches Back. 127 00:05:58.920 --> 00:06:03.120 Okay, there were thirty one episodes in season two. They 128 00:06:03.120 --> 00:06:05.839 were banging this shit out yep like it was a 129 00:06:05.879 --> 00:06:08.920 fucking fact, Like it was a tears and slap factory. 130 00:06:09.439 --> 00:06:11.399 Like tears and slap factory. 131 00:06:11.519 --> 00:06:14.319 I cannot believe the amount of episodes that we used 132 00:06:14.319 --> 00:06:17.000 to watch on television. Yeah, if I watch a show 133 00:06:17.000 --> 00:06:19.319 that has more than six episodes, now, I'm like, oh, 134 00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:21.279 we get a whole eight episodes of this. 135 00:06:21.399 --> 00:06:23.759 I know. Yeah, it's really more of a tears and 136 00:06:23.800 --> 00:06:24.879 slap and sex. 137 00:06:24.639 --> 00:06:27.680 Factory, tears slaps and sex slap and tickle slap and 138 00:06:27.680 --> 00:06:28.759 Tickle and Tears Factory. 139 00:06:28.879 --> 00:06:32.160 Okay, so this episode was written by Frank South. It 140 00:06:32.279 --> 00:06:37.040 stars Josie Bissett, Thomas Calabro, Doug Savant, Grant Show, Andrew Schue, 141 00:06:37.120 --> 00:06:41.040 Courtney Thorne Smith, Daphne's A Niga, Heather Locklear, Laura Layton, 142 00:06:41.399 --> 00:06:42.639 and Marsha Cross. 143 00:06:43.199 --> 00:06:47.560 The Great Marshacross, Truly, Truly, the Great the Great marsh Across. 144 00:06:47.720 --> 00:06:49.639 Like so fucking goodness, we'll get to it. 145 00:06:49.800 --> 00:06:50.319 Yeah. 146 00:06:50.480 --> 00:06:53.759 Heather Tylo was originally cast in melrose Place, but was 147 00:06:53.800 --> 00:06:57.079 fired by producer Aaron Spelling prior to filming because she 148 00:06:57.199 --> 00:06:57.759 was pregnant. 149 00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:01.639 Future Paul Here, listen, I'm here to say that that 150 00:07:01.759 --> 00:07:05.639 actress's name was Hunter Tylo, not Heather Tylo. That's on me. 151 00:07:06.040 --> 00:07:08.360 Read the whole thing. Didn't get that right. I don't 152 00:07:08.360 --> 00:07:10.199 know what to tell you. I was drunk. Hunter Tylo 153 00:07:10.319 --> 00:07:11.199 is that person's name. 154 00:07:12.279 --> 00:07:15.480 Tylo suit Spelling for discrimination and one four point eight 155 00:07:15.519 --> 00:07:19.240 million work. The case was very important in establishing performers' 156 00:07:19.279 --> 00:07:22.600 rights to work while pregnant. I have to admit I've, 157 00:07:23.319 --> 00:07:25.920 prior to reading this, I've never heard of Heather Tylo. 158 00:07:26.199 --> 00:07:28.720 She was a daytime soap actress. Apparently, and I think 159 00:07:28.759 --> 00:07:32.279 this was her big break and then it didn't happen. 160 00:07:32.439 --> 00:07:36.399 Oh bummer, bummer, bummer. I do love when pregnant women 161 00:07:36.680 --> 00:07:38.560 are on TV shows and they just have them holding 162 00:07:38.560 --> 00:07:40.560 bags of groceries for a whole year. I know, we're 163 00:07:40.600 --> 00:07:42.040 standing behind a wall. 164 00:07:43.279 --> 00:07:46.800 We're not writing this in, we're not doing that. I 165 00:07:46.839 --> 00:07:48.920 just thought that was really interesting because we're going to 166 00:07:48.959 --> 00:07:52.079 get into the show. The show is very silly. 167 00:07:52.199 --> 00:07:53.399 Oh my god, so silly. 168 00:07:53.519 --> 00:07:56.639 These nighttime soaps are kind of like groundbreaking lots of 169 00:07:56.680 --> 00:07:58.839 times in their ways, and it's kind of interesting. 170 00:07:59.560 --> 00:08:02.800 This one, uh, which surprised me the most about Melrose Place, 171 00:08:02.920 --> 00:08:05.759 because I have not seen it in a long time, 172 00:08:05.959 --> 00:08:08.639 is how cheap it looks like it really. I mean, 173 00:08:08.720 --> 00:08:10.800 you can tell they're cranking out thirty one episodes at 174 00:08:10.800 --> 00:08:14.199 a time, and like the costumes are just whatever the 175 00:08:14.199 --> 00:08:17.399 fuck people had laying around, frankly, and the sets look 176 00:08:17.480 --> 00:08:20.600 like it looked like a high school production of a team. Like, 177 00:08:20.639 --> 00:08:21.800 it's just so cheap looking. 178 00:08:21.839 --> 00:08:27.079 I was so surprised, totally, it like extremely unexpectedly cheap looking. 179 00:08:27.079 --> 00:08:28.480 And I don't even mean that as an insult, It 180 00:08:28.639 --> 00:08:30.040 just I wasn't expecting. 181 00:08:29.680 --> 00:08:31.959 It I wasn't expected, and well I think too, because 182 00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:35.440 again TV has changed and so more money is being 183 00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:39.440 put into it, and it's the cheapest, cheapest show you 184 00:08:39.480 --> 00:08:42.200 watch now does not look as cheap as melrose Place, which, 185 00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:45.919 to be clear, was a humongous, giant hit. So it's 186 00:08:45.960 --> 00:08:48.279 not like it's not like they were doing this like 187 00:08:48.639 --> 00:08:50.279 as a cheap as a passion project. 188 00:08:50.360 --> 00:08:50.919 It's cheap. 189 00:08:51.000 --> 00:08:53.039 No money was being put into this. 190 00:08:53.519 --> 00:08:56.080 All right, Erica. So melrose Place season two has an 191 00:08:56.200 --> 00:08:59.440 eighty percent critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes. 192 00:08:59.600 --> 00:09:03.320 That's so that's surprising, Paul. 193 00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:03.919 It is. 194 00:09:04.200 --> 00:09:05.440 That's very surprising. 195 00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:08.919 It is because you know, we still have nighttime soaps now, 196 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:10.879 we do like like they still have like it. I mean, 197 00:09:11.159 --> 00:09:12.399 I don't think they've had a really big hit in 198 00:09:12.440 --> 00:09:14.399 a while, but like I think of like Revenge. 199 00:09:14.240 --> 00:09:15.200 Oh I loved Revenge. 200 00:09:15.240 --> 00:09:17.519 Like the first season of Revenge was so fun, and yeah, 201 00:09:17.559 --> 00:09:18.080 that show. 202 00:09:17.919 --> 00:09:22.240 Got bonkers raise anatomy. Like the whole Shonda universe. Those 203 00:09:22.240 --> 00:09:24.240 are all night time soaps and they're exceless scandal. 204 00:09:24.399 --> 00:09:28.399 Yeah, they're fantastic and as bonkers as they got. Nothing 205 00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:31.720 like this. This is truly like a step between those 206 00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:35.360 Shonda shows and like Days of Our Lives, like you. 207 00:09:35.240 --> 00:09:36.600 Can see bonkers. 208 00:09:36.759 --> 00:09:41.399 It's insane what happens in this episode, you guys. I'm 209 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:43.399 fine with the eighty percent critical rating. I don't think 210 00:09:43.399 --> 00:09:45.720 it holds up now, but I can understand that. I 211 00:09:45.720 --> 00:09:47.919 don't think it looked cheap in the eighties. I don't 212 00:09:47.919 --> 00:09:49.759 think anyone would like it, or in the nineties. I mean, 213 00:09:49.759 --> 00:09:51.440 I don't think it would have. People would not have 214 00:09:51.440 --> 00:09:53.039 looked at it and been like, that's not what TV 215 00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:53.480 looks like. 216 00:09:53.639 --> 00:09:56.399 You know, Yes, I so I was recently watching just 217 00:09:56.440 --> 00:09:58.600 like an episode of My so called life randomly, and 218 00:09:58.679 --> 00:10:01.720 like that looked better than this show. Like that looks cinematic. 219 00:10:01.799 --> 00:10:04.080 But they only did sixteen episodes, to be clear, to. 220 00:10:04.039 --> 00:10:06.840 Be clear, they had Yeah, they use their money more wisely. 221 00:10:07.200 --> 00:10:09.879 It's just shocking like this. There's just such an old 222 00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:12.320 timiness to the way this is filmed. It's filmed like 223 00:10:12.360 --> 00:10:14.240 a regular soap opera. I think that's what it is. 224 00:10:14.799 --> 00:10:17.519 So it's got like regular soap opera, like running on 225 00:10:17.559 --> 00:10:20.600 the Fly. It's cheap. It's like they're doing this really quick. 226 00:10:20.600 --> 00:10:22.679 They're putting upsets and taking them down really fast. 227 00:10:22.799 --> 00:10:25.879 Like I was just surprisedes all like totally all right, Erica, 228 00:10:25.879 --> 00:10:28.200 when did you first see Melrose Place? 229 00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:30.960 I watched it from the beginning, poll, I didn't stick 230 00:10:30.960 --> 00:10:33.679 with it. I like a knife time soap, but I 231 00:10:34.080 --> 00:10:38.799 bail very early on. I've never completed a knife time soap. Okay, 232 00:10:38.960 --> 00:10:41.799 I've never ever completed I've watched the first two seasons 233 00:10:41.840 --> 00:10:45.559 of Everything, of This, of Nanta to Andero, of Revenge, 234 00:10:45.639 --> 00:10:48.679 of Gossip Girl, of the oc of Grey's Anatomy, Like 235 00:10:48.759 --> 00:10:51.200 I will watch the first two seasons of anything, and 236 00:10:51.200 --> 00:10:53.799 in the minute it starts to like there's a tipping 237 00:10:53.840 --> 00:10:56.639 point where it's like, Okay, I have to bail now 238 00:10:56.679 --> 00:10:58.279 because the last. 239 00:10:58.120 --> 00:11:00.559 Passing underneath the show is that a shark? Okay out the. 240 00:11:00.600 --> 00:11:02.440 Last one I remember watching that. I was like, I 241 00:11:02.519 --> 00:11:03.960 really had high hopes for it. I was like, I'm 242 00:11:03.960 --> 00:11:05.279 going to watch the shit out of this. I'm going 243 00:11:05.320 --> 00:11:07.360 to watch this to the end. And I bailed literally 244 00:11:07.440 --> 00:11:10.639 after two seasons. Was Riverdale? Okay, that's the last one 245 00:11:10.679 --> 00:11:12.879 I could remember watching. Okay, how about. 246 00:11:12.679 --> 00:11:15.639 You, I've never seen melrose Place. 247 00:11:16.360 --> 00:11:18.639 That was your first episode ever of melrose. 248 00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:21.639 First episode Holy Shure of mel I was absolutely not 249 00:11:21.679 --> 00:11:23.440 have been allowed to watch this in nineteen ninety two. 250 00:11:23.679 --> 00:11:27.320 Absolutely in the first season, Michael's a nice guy, and 251 00:11:27.360 --> 00:11:29.879 then they just decided, I guess the actor was like, 252 00:11:29.919 --> 00:11:31.600 can you do something fun with me because I'm so 253 00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:33.960 boring on this show? And they're like, done, done? 254 00:11:34.120 --> 00:11:35.000 What was that you said? 255 00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:40.159 Great, we're turning you into the worst person. The first 256 00:11:40.159 --> 00:11:43.360 season of Melrose Place, Michael and Josie Bissett are married 257 00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:46.679 and they just are just like the boring couple. Yeah 258 00:11:46.679 --> 00:11:47.200 in the show. 259 00:11:47.480 --> 00:11:50.840 Yeah, So I was watching this. I did a lot 260 00:11:50.879 --> 00:11:54.559 of research while doing it, trying to understand, like these 261 00:11:54.600 --> 00:11:58.080 relationships and all of the insanity that has gone on 262 00:11:58.200 --> 00:12:00.879 in the in the fifty episode that these characters have 263 00:12:00.919 --> 00:12:06.919 existed on this on this television show. I enjoyed it 264 00:12:06.639 --> 00:12:11.000 as like an insane forty five minutes. It's really very, 265 00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:15.039 very entertaining. The acting is there's one person I know 266 00:12:15.080 --> 00:12:17.320 we agree on, one person, who Marshacross, who. 267 00:12:17.200 --> 00:12:19.480 Is unimpeachable so fucking good. 268 00:12:19.519 --> 00:12:21.279 I'm like, maybe she should have an oscar, Like I'm 269 00:12:21.279 --> 00:12:26.039 not like if she's making this seem so real, natural 270 00:12:26.159 --> 00:12:29.519 and natural and no one else and like some of 271 00:12:29.559 --> 00:12:31.159 the some of the actors really have very little to 272 00:12:31.159 --> 00:12:32.960 do in this episode, so I don't feel. 273 00:12:32.799 --> 00:12:35.320 Qualified to like Daphne's Nigga has nothing to do. 274 00:12:35.480 --> 00:12:37.519 Yeah, I'm like she might. She also maybe is an 275 00:12:37.519 --> 00:12:39.799 incredible actress. I can't tell based on this because she 276 00:12:39.799 --> 00:12:42.720 has two scenes and she's just tasked to like look concerned. 277 00:12:42.879 --> 00:12:44.399 Josie Bassett has like one scene. 278 00:12:44.480 --> 00:12:47.960 Yeah, but like Marcia Cross makes this shit work. 279 00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:52.240 She's so good. You're absolutely right. Actually, her career should 280 00:12:52.279 --> 00:12:54.279 have taken like a turn at some point, Like I 281 00:12:54.320 --> 00:12:56.360 know she she was like the queen of nighttime soaps 282 00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:58.679 for a while, but like she is, she really should 283 00:12:58.720 --> 00:13:01.759 have like jumped into movies one point and come yeah yeah, 284 00:13:01.799 --> 00:13:04.360 and had like a more The word I want to 285 00:13:04.360 --> 00:13:06.799 say is dignified. That's not fair, It's not fair. But 286 00:13:06.840 --> 00:13:09.000 a more dignified career is what I want to say. 287 00:13:09.159 --> 00:13:10.679 And you know what, I can't think of a better 288 00:13:10.679 --> 00:13:11.120 way to say it. 289 00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:16.919 Right now. It's early, y'all, it's the morning. Uh okay, Erica. 290 00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:24.159 The tagline from melrose Place was lying, cheating, stealing, seduction, betrayal, jealousy, greed, murder, 291 00:13:24.799 --> 00:13:26.840 It's just another day at melrose Place. 292 00:13:26.960 --> 00:13:33.919 No. The saurus Thesaurus the saurus, seduction, betrayal, murder, It's 293 00:13:33.960 --> 00:13:35.840 just another day at Melrose Place. Boom, you get three, 294 00:13:35.960 --> 00:13:38.120 you get three, you have to pick three. You cannot 295 00:13:38.200 --> 00:13:39.759 you cannot be redundant. 296 00:13:39.320 --> 00:13:41.559 Can I's a question since you've seen the show. I 297 00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:44.519 thought melrose Place was the street. Is melrose Place actually 298 00:13:44.559 --> 00:13:45.080 the name of their. 299 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:47.000 Apartment apartment complex they all live in. 300 00:13:47.120 --> 00:13:48.759 Oh they live at Melrose Place? 301 00:13:48.840 --> 00:13:49.240 Yeah? 302 00:13:49.279 --> 00:13:50.240 Oh interesting? 303 00:13:50.320 --> 00:13:53.039 Yeah, yeah, I guess it's on Melrose I've never really 304 00:13:53.080 --> 00:13:55.120 thought about it, but yeah, it's so when they're they 305 00:13:55.159 --> 00:13:57.360 actually will be like, I'm going back to Melrose Place 306 00:13:57.919 --> 00:13:58.720 like blah blah blah. 307 00:13:58.759 --> 00:14:01.559 Yeah. Do you want to read the iTunes synopsis for 308 00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:02.960 the Bitch Is Back? 309 00:14:03.720 --> 00:14:04.039 Sure? 310 00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:06.679 I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch, and 311 00:14:06.759 --> 00:14:07.240 I'm back. 312 00:14:07.559 --> 00:14:11.879 Michael is astonished when Kimberly pays him a late night visit. 313 00:14:12.679 --> 00:14:15.960 She reveals that she was in a coma for months 314 00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:18.639 and that her mother claimed she had died to keep 315 00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:23.039 Michael away from her. A lot of other stuff happens, Yeah, 316 00:14:23.120 --> 00:14:24.440 none of it matters the. 317 00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:28.240 Fact that this actually does ruin. Like the beginning of 318 00:14:28.279 --> 00:14:30.960 this episode, when I tell you this happens in the 319 00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:33.639 first ten minutes in this episode. Yeah, and you have 320 00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:38.240 another thirty to go. Yeah, we are climbing up a hill. Erica, 321 00:14:38.279 --> 00:14:40.840 do you have an actual synopsis for this episode of 322 00:14:40.840 --> 00:14:41.559 melrose Place? 323 00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:43.399 That guy? 324 00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:45.919 Oh? Yeah, ah yeah, him, him. 325 00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:48.480 We're doing all this for him, for him. That guy. 326 00:14:48.799 --> 00:14:49.919 This one, we're. 327 00:14:49.960 --> 00:14:52.039 Lying, cheating, murdering, betraying for that guy. 328 00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:56.799 This guy. Okay, okay, okay, no judgment, I mean a 329 00:14:56.799 --> 00:14:57.720 little Judgment's fine. 330 00:14:57.799 --> 00:15:00.960 He's fine, but he's fine looking, I guess. But that guy, 331 00:15:01.039 --> 00:15:04.399 that guy, Okay, the amount of ass this man gets 332 00:15:04.440 --> 00:15:07.240 on this show. He gets more asked than like Grant 333 00:15:07.279 --> 00:15:09.840 show does I think? And I'm like, but I don't understand. 334 00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:12.639 He gets way more asked. Andrews Shoe, who's legit hot? 335 00:15:16.679 --> 00:15:20.919 All right, everyone, so stick around. We're gonna play some commercials. 336 00:15:20.919 --> 00:15:22.240 If don't want to hear commercials, you can go to 337 00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:25.360 our Patreon, Patreon dot com, slash do age Weel podcast. 338 00:15:25.399 --> 00:15:28.159 You sign up for any paid tier and you get 339 00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:30.720 ad free episodes. If you don't want to do that, that's 340 00:15:30.600 --> 00:15:33.480 cool too. You can just sit down here, listen to 341 00:15:33.559 --> 00:15:36.320 a couple of commercials, and then we will come back 342 00:15:36.360 --> 00:15:39.559 and we will take you through season two, episode twenty 343 00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:43.720 eight of melrose Place, entitled the Bitch Is It Back? 344 00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:54.360 And We're Back. 345 00:15:54.919 --> 00:15:58.519 We open with a ninety second opening credit sequence. 346 00:15:58.559 --> 00:16:00.159 They had a lot of real estate back in the day, 347 00:16:00.279 --> 00:16:03.120 so much real estate they had thirty one episodes to 348 00:16:03.159 --> 00:16:05.039 write one season alone. 349 00:16:05.440 --> 00:16:10.159 Like Jesus, there's I mean, someone is absolutely wailing on 350 00:16:10.200 --> 00:16:16.120 the saxophone. We eventually get to melrose Place. We pan 351 00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:18.320 up to the door. There's a very kind of sad 352 00:16:18.320 --> 00:16:20.279 looking pool in the courtyard at Melrose Place. 353 00:16:20.320 --> 00:16:23.080 Okay, that's the other thing when I remember watching this 354 00:16:23.159 --> 00:16:25.639 the first time and that it seems so sexy. There 355 00:16:25.679 --> 00:16:28.039 was like a pool in the courtyard and they could 356 00:16:28.039 --> 00:16:30.440 watch each other swim, and like it was. I can't 357 00:16:30.440 --> 00:16:33.759 tell you enough how sad this set looks down, how depressing. 358 00:16:34.080 --> 00:16:36.039 Also like like some of these people make a good 359 00:16:36.080 --> 00:16:37.919 amount of money, and I'm like, you could do better 360 00:16:37.960 --> 00:16:40.120 than this place. Yeah, you could definitely live in a 361 00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:41.639 better part of la if you wanted to. 362 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:43.759 One hundred percent. We go into the apartment of the 363 00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:47.799 affiance to Billy Campbell played by Andrew Shoe incredibly like 364 00:16:47.960 --> 00:16:50.440 nineties hot. It's like that long face. 365 00:16:50.559 --> 00:16:52.080 I kind him very attractive. 366 00:16:52.200 --> 00:16:52.960 Yeah, I'm knowing. 367 00:16:53.000 --> 00:16:54.759 Get it to Andrew Shoe Yeah. Yeah. 368 00:16:54.799 --> 00:16:59.159 And Alison Parker played by Courtney thorn Smith. It is morning. 369 00:16:59.720 --> 00:17:03.080 Bill is still in bed. Alison brushes her hair in 370 00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:05.920 the bathroom mirror and a thought occurs to her. She 371 00:17:05.960 --> 00:17:08.759 heads back into bed and she crawls up next to Billy. 372 00:17:08.920 --> 00:17:11.200 She kisses him on the shoulder. She wakes him up 373 00:17:11.920 --> 00:17:15.960 and she initiates a bone sash and he says that 374 00:17:16.039 --> 00:17:18.400 he thought she wanted to wait until they're married. Now 375 00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:20.960 before we even get going. I want everyone to understand, 376 00:17:21.119 --> 00:17:23.119 because I look this up. They have had sex, They 377 00:17:23.160 --> 00:17:25.240 have had sex before, so this is one of those 378 00:17:25.400 --> 00:17:27.400 I'm sorry. Look, if you don't want to have sex 379 00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:29.359 prior to marriage, that is your choice. It is absolutely 380 00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:31.400 a valid choice. If you do want to have sex 381 00:17:31.400 --> 00:17:33.240 before you're married, that is your choice. It is absolutely 382 00:17:33.319 --> 00:17:36.960 valid choice. I'm sorry. It is stupid to have sex 383 00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:39.880 with someone prior to getting engaged and then decide at 384 00:17:39.880 --> 00:17:41.720 some point during the engage we're not going to have 385 00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:42.720 sex again until we're. 386 00:17:42.640 --> 00:17:44.400 Married, just to make it fun on the wedding night, 387 00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:45.319 make it special. 388 00:17:46.200 --> 00:17:49.920 And I'm not sorry if you did it and you're offended, Like, look. 389 00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:51.640 If you need to, if you need to hold off 390 00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:54.519 for six months to make it quote unquote special, you're 391 00:17:54.640 --> 00:17:56.000 not thinking outside the box. 392 00:17:56.039 --> 00:17:56.519 That's right. 393 00:17:56.680 --> 00:17:59.960 There are other things you can do to make it 394 00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:03.680 special and different on your wedding night if you want to. 395 00:18:03.880 --> 00:18:05.960 I don't be gross. I know what you're all thinking 396 00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:07.920 of talking about, and I'm not talking about that. I'm 397 00:18:07.960 --> 00:18:08.880 talking about another thing. 398 00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:11.160 I am talking about very calmly. If we're not going 399 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:12.920 to have sex before marriage, let's sit in these two 400 00:18:13.000 --> 00:18:15.160 armchairs across room for each other and absolutely go to 401 00:18:15.160 --> 00:18:16.880 town on ourselves while we're watching. 402 00:18:17.000 --> 00:18:20.559 Oh that is romantic. That's so sweet. I'm picturing like, 403 00:18:20.599 --> 00:18:22.559 I know you don't like sexophone of fireplaces, but how 404 00:18:22.559 --> 00:18:24.480 do you feel about masturbating in front of a fireplace. 405 00:18:24.519 --> 00:18:26.400 I'm more okay with that because it's only one person's 406 00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:26.839 body heat. 407 00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:28.720 I feel like that. I feel like there's they're sitting 408 00:18:28.759 --> 00:18:32.279 in like leather settee is next to a fireplace masturbating. Yeah, 409 00:18:32.519 --> 00:18:33.960 mutually masturbating. 410 00:18:33.519 --> 00:18:35.480 Hopefully with a towel down, just we don't want to 411 00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:38.480 ruin the leather. Yeah, you know sweet, So. 412 00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:40.920 That's not what I was thinking of. But i you 413 00:18:40.960 --> 00:18:42.599 know what. I like that that's where your mind went. 414 00:18:43.079 --> 00:18:45.240 Can we talk for a quick second about those the 415 00:18:45.319 --> 00:18:46.400 opening credit sequence? 416 00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:47.000 Oh please? 417 00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:50.359 And how unbelieved it is a a fondue pot of 418 00:18:50.440 --> 00:18:54.720 velvet to chase the cheesiest fucking thing. 419 00:18:54.880 --> 00:18:56.920 I think you're calling it a cheese product, just to be. 420 00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:59.960 Clear, But she's a pr product. It is it is. 421 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:04.599 It is a heartbreaking ninety seconds of actors like doing 422 00:19:04.640 --> 00:19:08.160 a random activity like catching a frisbee and then turning 423 00:19:08.200 --> 00:19:09.640 to a camera and smiling. 424 00:19:09.759 --> 00:19:12.240 I feel like it's literally what the Saturday Live credits 425 00:19:12.279 --> 00:19:12.960 are making fun of. 426 00:19:13.319 --> 00:19:17.359 It is so hard to watch, It is so embarrassing 427 00:19:17.480 --> 00:19:18.039 to watch. 428 00:19:18.359 --> 00:19:20.559 All Right, So Billy says, I thought you want to 429 00:19:20.599 --> 00:19:24.599 wait until we're married, And she says, the nightmares have stopped. Erica, 430 00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:27.720 you watch the show. Do you remember what Allison's nightmares 431 00:19:27.720 --> 00:19:28.279 are about? 432 00:19:28.680 --> 00:19:32.519 Is this the building exploding? I remember the building buildings later, 433 00:19:32.640 --> 00:19:34.960 the building explode. Okay, so that hasn't happened yet. 434 00:19:35.039 --> 00:19:38.279 No, Okay, this is these nightmares are about. It's seating 435 00:19:38.279 --> 00:19:41.319 a plot that will ultimately stop Billy and Allison's wedding 436 00:19:41.319 --> 00:19:44.200 before it can happen, which is that Allison was sexually 437 00:19:44.279 --> 00:19:46.400 molested by her father growing up, and she starts having 438 00:19:46.480 --> 00:19:48.519 nightmares about it and remembers it on her wedding day 439 00:19:48.519 --> 00:19:49.599 when her father hugs her. 440 00:19:49.720 --> 00:19:53.039 Oh no, that's intense. 441 00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:53.400 That's too much. 442 00:19:53.480 --> 00:19:54.000 That's a lot. 443 00:19:54.119 --> 00:19:56.960 That's a lot evil twins murder, No problem, that shit 444 00:19:57.039 --> 00:19:57.559 is too real. 445 00:19:57.720 --> 00:20:01.799 It's too real. Yeah, oh weird. Okay, that seeds a 446 00:20:01.839 --> 00:20:03.759 lot of what's happening in this episode with her with that, 447 00:20:03.920 --> 00:20:06.599 like her wedding planner being like, your dad wants you 448 00:20:06.599 --> 00:20:07.759 to have the best wedding ever. 449 00:20:09.880 --> 00:20:12.319 So Alison is tired of dwelling in the past, even 450 00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:13.759 though at this point she doesn't know that what that 451 00:20:13.799 --> 00:20:16.119 passage she's dwelling it is. And they bone down. 452 00:20:16.279 --> 00:20:18.960 Okay, cool question. They live right in front of that pool. 453 00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:22.720 Does their house smell like chlorine? They must all those 454 00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:27.240 ground floor apartments just reek of chlorine. 455 00:20:26.359 --> 00:20:28.359 Or possibly urine, depending on who's been in the pool 456 00:20:28.359 --> 00:20:28.880 most recently. 457 00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:30.599 I feel like these people don't urinate in the pool. 458 00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:33.519 These people haven't had anything to eat or drink in days. 459 00:20:33.640 --> 00:20:37.000 Grant show only urinates. 460 00:20:39.480 --> 00:20:42.279 Doug Savant because he will never get a love interest. 461 00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:44.599 Is the only one who eats on this show. Ever, 462 00:20:44.880 --> 00:20:48.039 we cut to a beach house in La because Michael 463 00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:51.759 lived in melrose Place but also owns a Malibu beach house. 464 00:20:51.759 --> 00:20:53.079 Why do you live in melrose Place? 465 00:20:53.680 --> 00:20:54.640 How much money do you have? 466 00:20:54.799 --> 00:20:57.880 You have money, just live in your Malibu beach house. 467 00:20:58.200 --> 00:21:01.240 We cut to the beach house where married couple married. 468 00:21:01.279 --> 00:21:05.400 At this point, doctor Michael Mancini, Thomas Collaboro just pulling 469 00:21:05.519 --> 00:21:08.079 like you would not believe on the show, kicking ass. 470 00:21:08.200 --> 00:21:12.119 Well done, Thomas Collabroo. The poor man's Michael. Imperially, it's 471 00:21:12.119 --> 00:21:15.160 true everyone's but he like like he turns his face 472 00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:17.680 a certain way, and I'm like, Christopher, is that you? 473 00:21:17.799 --> 00:21:23.039 Christopha and Sydney Andrews played by Laura Leeton. They were 474 00:21:23.079 --> 00:21:25.119 walking arm in arm on the beach with their good 475 00:21:25.119 --> 00:21:29.480 morning coffee, happy newlyweds. Nothing could go wrong, nothing could 476 00:21:29.559 --> 00:21:31.920 ever possibly go wrong for old Michael and Sidney. 477 00:21:32.119 --> 00:21:34.200 We are pictured, by the way, the picture you're painting 478 00:21:34.279 --> 00:21:37.400 is like this beautiful like beach house. It's really not 479 00:21:37.839 --> 00:21:41.160 like attractive, like it's the beach is it's kind of 480 00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:44.079 a gray day and there's like La sprawl is very 481 00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:47.039 visible in the background. Like it's not a beautiful picturesque 482 00:21:47.079 --> 00:21:47.640 beach house. 483 00:21:47.960 --> 00:21:50.319 I don't know. I think I think it's just nineties attractive. 484 00:21:50.640 --> 00:21:53.000 It's the best they could do. It's beg It's so 485 00:21:53.039 --> 00:21:55.279 funny because there are no fewer than like three beach 486 00:21:55.319 --> 00:21:58.039 scenes in this episode, and they clearly just got a 487 00:21:58.079 --> 00:22:01.359 shitty week where it just was like gray and overcast 488 00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:04.000 all week. There's I'm just gonna spoil it now. There's 489 00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:06.759 a scene later where there's this photographer taking photos and 490 00:22:06.799 --> 00:22:09.200 you a photo shoot on the beach and someone's like, 491 00:22:09.319 --> 00:22:13.359 we're losing the light and I'm like, there is no light. No, 492 00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:15.920 you have no light. They could not write themselves out 493 00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:18.559 of this hole. They're like, fuck, we already booked the beach. 494 00:22:18.599 --> 00:22:21.400 We just have to film here, even though it's drizzling 495 00:22:21.480 --> 00:22:25.000 the entire time we're here. So okay, Sidney declares that, 496 00:22:25.759 --> 00:22:30.599 so casual, so nungchalant. Imagine okay, imagine you're me audience, Huh. 497 00:22:30.759 --> 00:22:32.680 You probably don't have to because you're in the same 498 00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:35.240 boat I'm in. You have not watched this show since 499 00:22:35.279 --> 00:22:39.160 it aired in nineteen ninety three, and now and now 500 00:22:39.319 --> 00:22:41.559 you're trying to remember what's going on and catch up, 501 00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:43.440 and then all of a sudden, the character just turns 502 00:22:43.440 --> 00:22:45.680 to another character and says, I think I'm gonna get 503 00:22:45.680 --> 00:22:47.640 out of the hooker business for good. 504 00:22:47.799 --> 00:22:52.000 For good? What the hook business like? 505 00:22:52.039 --> 00:22:54.319 It's the most casual fucking thing in the world to 506 00:22:54.359 --> 00:22:56.000 say I think we can get out of the hooker 507 00:22:56.039 --> 00:22:57.720 business for good, this time to. 508 00:22:57.799 --> 00:23:01.240 Her husband, who does not react at all. 509 00:23:01.359 --> 00:23:05.839 I actually say that's quite progressive for him to be like, girl, 510 00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:08.319 do you do you stay in the hooker business? Don't 511 00:23:08.359 --> 00:23:11.119 stay in the hooker business. I'm good either way. I 512 00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:12.839 actually was like, really impressed with that. 513 00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:16.240 Less impressive when you remember the backstory of this marriage, 514 00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:17.559 which I will fill you in on in Justice. 515 00:23:17.960 --> 00:23:20.119 I did not remember, and I was like, okay, so 516 00:23:20.200 --> 00:23:22.759 I remember sort of these two being married. Okay, I 517 00:23:22.799 --> 00:23:26.319 guess this is happening. So she's like, I want to 518 00:23:26.319 --> 00:23:28.920 get out of the hooker business and just be your wife, 519 00:23:28.960 --> 00:23:32.279 which sounds regressive, but honestly, I would rather just be 520 00:23:32.359 --> 00:23:34.319 a rich guy's wife than fuck a bunch of random's. 521 00:23:34.519 --> 00:23:38.119 So yeah, well done for you. Sydney. Michael is thrilled. 522 00:23:38.200 --> 00:23:41.640 He's he wants that little trad wife he's always dreamed of. 523 00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:44.160 He says, no one's ever done that for me before, 524 00:23:44.279 --> 00:23:45.839 no one's ever given up their career. 525 00:23:47.480 --> 00:23:49.240 What a dream, What a dream? 526 00:23:49.359 --> 00:23:52.079 And he hugs her and kisses her. She says, I'm 527 00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:55.119 gonna just do one more party tonight, and that's it. 528 00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:59.079 The number of scenes they don't show in this episode. 529 00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:00.920 This is check off hooker party. 530 00:24:01.240 --> 00:24:02.440 It does not come. 531 00:24:02.720 --> 00:24:05.440 It does we do not orgasm, It does not throw 532 00:24:05.480 --> 00:24:06.000 down the tarp. 533 00:24:06.200 --> 00:24:07.119 We never see it. 534 00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:10.000 It doesn't deliver the fifty gallon drum of lube. 535 00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:12.319 To the point where I was like, is she a madam? 536 00:24:12.480 --> 00:24:16.319 Like it seems so nonplussed, Like so he's She's like, 537 00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:18.240 I'll just have one more party at a hotel tonight, 538 00:24:18.279 --> 00:24:21.759 and then that's it. He's like, cool, excellent, wonderful love 539 00:24:21.799 --> 00:24:24.759 that for everyone in this room. What is happening? 540 00:24:24.839 --> 00:24:25.880 What a great beach day, What a. 541 00:24:25.880 --> 00:24:27.799 Great beach day we're having. And then they both throw 542 00:24:27.839 --> 00:24:30.200 their mugs on the beach and make out, like what 543 00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:33.599 the fuck is happening? So they're kissing, and the camera 544 00:24:33.720 --> 00:24:36.720 swirls around them and a piano softly plays in the background, 545 00:24:36.759 --> 00:24:41.200 and then a figure catches Michael's eye, a tall woman 546 00:24:41.400 --> 00:24:43.480 on the on the deck of their house. Yes, in 547 00:24:43.559 --> 00:24:47.799 the distance, a portentous note sounds in the soundtrack, and 548 00:24:47.839 --> 00:24:51.000 the figure is walking out onto the front porch in 549 00:24:51.039 --> 00:24:54.960 a satin negligee. Yep, he blinks and she's gone. It's 550 00:24:55.240 --> 00:24:55.640 a ghost. 551 00:24:55.720 --> 00:24:56.200 A ghost. 552 00:24:57.160 --> 00:24:59.160 It would have been more It would have actually made 553 00:24:59.160 --> 00:25:02.880 more sense if this was a ghost. Ghost makes sense. 554 00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:05.480 What happens makes less sense than that. 555 00:25:05.400 --> 00:25:07.839 This figure has the powers of Michael Myers from Halloween, 556 00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:10.680 in the sense that this person can teleport. 557 00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:11.920 Can just fucking disappear at will. 558 00:25:12.039 --> 00:25:14.440 Yeah, okay, So let me give you the backstory on 559 00:25:14.519 --> 00:25:15.279 this marriage. 560 00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:18.000 I don't want any honestly, I'm good. I'm good. The 561 00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:19.279 audience probably needs something. 562 00:25:19.240 --> 00:25:23.559 But let me tell you something you want it. So 563 00:25:23.799 --> 00:25:26.240 the show. When the show started, as you said, Michael 564 00:25:26.279 --> 00:25:28.799 was married to Jane. That's Josie Bissett. Will meet her later. 565 00:25:29.319 --> 00:25:30.759 During the course of the first season, he has an 566 00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:33.839 affair with doctor Kimberly Shaw we will also meet her later. 567 00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:37.200 Breaks up his marriage. He gets engaged to Kimberly. He's 568 00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:40.319 drunk driving one night, gets into a car accident. Kimberly dies. 569 00:25:40.759 --> 00:25:44.240 Oh no, oh no. He's very upset about this. Sydney 570 00:25:44.480 --> 00:25:47.160 finds out about it, and she blackmails him into marrying 571 00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:48.920 her or else she'll go to the police and tell 572 00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:52.640 her tell the police that he's essentially guilty of vehicular manslaughter. 573 00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:55.240 So did he have an affair with Sidney also while 574 00:25:55.240 --> 00:25:58.599 he was married to Jane? Oh? I remember it wrong. 575 00:25:59.039 --> 00:26:01.240 I remembered him having an affair with Sydney while he 576 00:26:01.319 --> 00:26:02.960 was like while she was living with them. 577 00:26:03.000 --> 00:26:05.079 I believe that had a very contentious relationship. There was 578 00:26:05.079 --> 00:26:06.079 a lot of sexual tension. 579 00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:06.799 Got it okay? 580 00:26:06.839 --> 00:26:09.759 All right? So okay, So she blackmails him into marrying her. 581 00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:13.279 Throughout their whole courtship. It's very it's very difficult. Right. 582 00:26:13.559 --> 00:26:15.799 They go on their honeymoon camping trip where I believe 583 00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:18.200 he tries to kill her twice. 584 00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:19.640 But it just doesn't take. 585 00:26:19.640 --> 00:26:20.400 It just doesn't take. 586 00:26:20.480 --> 00:26:22.720 You know what, He's used to saving lives, not taking them. 587 00:26:22.759 --> 00:26:23.920 He doesn't know what he's doing. 588 00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:26.039 He's apparently, from what I read, about to push her 589 00:26:26.039 --> 00:26:28.759 off a cliff when he realizes that he actually loves 590 00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:37.839 her tool And that happened two episodes ago. They have 591 00:26:37.880 --> 00:26:40.799 not had a long and happy marriage. In case anyone's wondering. 592 00:26:40.720 --> 00:26:43.680 This is the happiest these two ever have been or 593 00:26:43.720 --> 00:26:46.799 ever will be again. Yep, she shouldn't get out of 594 00:26:46.839 --> 00:26:49.039 that hooker business. So fast, Not so fast, Not so 595 00:26:49.119 --> 00:26:49.680 fast girl. 596 00:26:50.200 --> 00:26:52.920 All right. So we cut to Michael at the hospital 597 00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:56.720 and his friend and coworker Matt Fielding played by Doug Savant. 598 00:26:56.480 --> 00:26:59.240 Another resident of Melrose playing Ye the. 599 00:26:59.319 --> 00:27:01.519 Gay one, so the one who will have nothing to 600 00:27:01.559 --> 00:27:02.559 do in this episode. 601 00:27:02.799 --> 00:27:05.039 Yeah, I remember an old SNL sketch where they made 602 00:27:05.039 --> 00:27:06.880 fun of him. Yeah, well we were making fun of 603 00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:09.640 mel Respis was when Heather Lockley was on on SNL. 604 00:27:09.839 --> 00:27:12.400 And I can't remember who plays this character. I think 605 00:27:12.400 --> 00:27:14.680 it's David's paid. He just like walks out and goes 606 00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:16.680 and I'm the gay one and then just leaves you. 607 00:27:19.960 --> 00:27:23.640 So Michael is rattled, and he says he's seeing Kimberly everywhere. 608 00:27:23.680 --> 00:27:25.359 So this figure that he saw on the porch he's 609 00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:28.480 identifying as Kimberly, his fiancee who died in the drunk 610 00:27:28.559 --> 00:27:31.279 driving accident of which he was guilty. He's worried. He's 611 00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:33.799 cracking up. He wonders if Kimberly could still be alive. 612 00:27:34.200 --> 00:27:37.559 But Matta shreson, he's just tired. After all. Michael and 613 00:27:37.599 --> 00:27:41.039 Sidney had a quote unquote fairly exhausting courtship, which I've 614 00:27:41.079 --> 00:27:43.200 just described for you a few moments ago. Yeah. Yeah, 615 00:27:43.240 --> 00:27:45.000 involved no fewer than two murder. 616 00:27:44.759 --> 00:27:49.440 Attempts and so much blackmail, so much blackmail. I love 617 00:27:49.480 --> 00:27:51.200 how he's like, I think I'm seeing ghosts, and the 618 00:27:51.240 --> 00:27:53.880 other for the friends, like it's just stress. Yeah, that's 619 00:27:53.920 --> 00:27:56.359 what he's not. Yes, ending I'm guess hand you. By 620 00:27:56.359 --> 00:27:58.559 the way, if you were like, I'm seeing ghosts, I'd 621 00:27:58.599 --> 00:28:01.240 be like, tell me every thing. Yeah, I mean I 622 00:28:01.240 --> 00:28:02.279 would think you were crazy. 623 00:28:02.319 --> 00:28:02.480 Don't. 624 00:28:02.720 --> 00:28:04.640 Don't get me wrong, I would think you were an idiot. 625 00:28:04.920 --> 00:28:06.680 But I would yes, and a shit out of that. 626 00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:08.680 You would report me to my husband behind my back 627 00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:09.839 like a real friend. 628 00:28:10.039 --> 00:28:12.640 Like a real friend, I wouldn't to your face be like, 629 00:28:12.680 --> 00:28:15.559 you are stressed out. You need to you need to 630 00:28:15.599 --> 00:28:16.920 take some clonapin and chill. 631 00:28:17.160 --> 00:28:19.279 You would be like, tell me who the ghost is, 632 00:28:19.359 --> 00:28:21.799 what's their backstory? Why have they not left this plane? 633 00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:26.599 How naked are they? Meanwhile in crossover land, because we are. 634 00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:29.519 It's only the second season in Melrose's Place, and already 635 00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:32.079 Aaron Spelling's like, I got a third show. I got 636 00:28:32.119 --> 00:28:35.079 a third show, cooking another hit. It's called Models Inc. 637 00:28:35.480 --> 00:28:36.119 It was not a hit. 638 00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:38.480 It was not a hit. Hang on, guys, I gotta 639 00:28:38.480 --> 00:28:39.079 look something up. 640 00:28:56.720 --> 00:28:59.759 It's not trying to catch your phone. 641 00:29:00.119 --> 00:29:03.440 Okay, we're back, Paul, and I looked something up. I 642 00:29:03.559 --> 00:29:05.559 was wrong. California Dreams is not the name of the 643 00:29:05.559 --> 00:29:07.599 show I was thinking of. It was The Heights. And 644 00:29:07.640 --> 00:29:10.279 it was not a spinoff of nine O two one zero. 645 00:29:10.759 --> 00:29:15.000 Jamie Walters was just in both shows, and can you 646 00:29:15.039 --> 00:29:16.799 believe it? He just didn't have the range for me 647 00:29:16.839 --> 00:29:21.119 to remember that it was two different characters completely. So 648 00:29:21.519 --> 00:29:24.720 Models In is the only spin off of Melrose Place. Yes, 649 00:29:25.119 --> 00:29:26.559 it was not a hit. We had to look this 650 00:29:26.599 --> 00:29:28.640 all up because it was driving me crazy that I 651 00:29:28.680 --> 00:29:29.440 could not remember. 652 00:29:31.400 --> 00:29:33.200 And we're back, and we're back. 653 00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:38.960 So okay. Photographer Joe Reynolds, played by Daphne Zunega aka 654 00:29:39.359 --> 00:29:43.599 Princess Vespa from Spaceballs, sets up a shoot with Sarah, 655 00:29:43.640 --> 00:29:45.000 a model from the. 656 00:29:46.519 --> 00:29:47.000 Model Zing. 657 00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:50.440 Here's where we're setting up our third TV show. Joe 658 00:29:50.480 --> 00:29:53.519 gets Sarah and the other models into these I mean, 659 00:29:53.880 --> 00:30:00.000 like gross, Laura Ashley, like the nineties were sexless. 660 00:30:00.519 --> 00:30:04.200 We have come down really hard on Beige on this 661 00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:06.519 podcast in the nineties, but if these are the colors 662 00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:07.640 the nineties has to offer. 663 00:30:07.960 --> 00:30:10.440 Bea up, baby, go back to beaje, bea up. 664 00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:13.319 This is off. The front of this woman's dress looks 665 00:30:13.359 --> 00:30:14.240 like a lace apron. 666 00:30:14.480 --> 00:30:18.000 It's a pastel lavender. 667 00:30:17.559 --> 00:30:19.160 Like compound wife dress. 668 00:30:19.480 --> 00:30:24.559 Chloral, Yeah, it's the I mean, this is a gorgeous woman, gorgeous, 669 00:30:24.680 --> 00:30:28.119 and they are making her look so depressing, like she's 670 00:30:28.160 --> 00:30:30.400 about to churn some butter. That's what she's here for. 671 00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:33.279 She is. She is an actress who is so gorgeous 672 00:30:33.319 --> 00:30:36.039 that she was cast as the lead in a TV 673 00:30:36.119 --> 00:30:37.000 show about. 674 00:30:36.720 --> 00:30:39.640 Models, models in This is the lead of Models, Inc. 675 00:30:39.759 --> 00:30:41.279 That's how good looking this woman is. 676 00:30:41.960 --> 00:30:45.319 So okay, So Sarah is just dressing in these nasty 677 00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:49.039 asque like potato sacks that they're putting her in. But 678 00:30:49.519 --> 00:30:53.839 she shines. She's got it. She's a star. Unfortunately, who 679 00:30:53.839 --> 00:30:59.720 should appear midshoot. But Amanda Woodward Heather Locklear. 680 00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:01.599 Walking on the beach in a pair of pumps. I'm like, 681 00:31:01.640 --> 00:31:02.960 how are you even doing that? 682 00:31:03.240 --> 00:31:04.920 How are you doing that? She does it so well 683 00:31:05.039 --> 00:31:07.240 you would not even know. You have not even noticed. 684 00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:10.319 She is stomping on those heels. Look, she's not the 685 00:31:10.319 --> 00:31:13.720 greatest actress ever, But fucking Heather Locklear is a star, 686 00:31:14.440 --> 00:31:18.119 is just a star. She angrily informs Joe that D 687 00:31:18.200 --> 00:31:21.799 and D, the advertising agency that she and Courtney Thorne 688 00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:26.920 Smith work at, would never never use Models Inc. To 689 00:31:27.079 --> 00:31:28.920 cast their shootes. This is the last time I let 690 00:31:28.920 --> 00:31:31.680 you cast a shoot by yourself, Joe. You ignorant sluts, 691 00:31:31.839 --> 00:31:34.720 ignorant slat. I'm like, guys, maybe don't work with your neighbors. Yeah, 692 00:31:35.240 --> 00:31:37.359 this is it seems like a real bad mix of 693 00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:39.559 like work life balance not working out. 694 00:31:39.720 --> 00:31:43.680 This is Los Angeles, there's it's famously sprawling. 695 00:31:43.720 --> 00:31:46.599 You kids, many nooks and crannies from which to hide 696 00:31:46.640 --> 00:31:49.880 from your colleagues. Don't live in the same apartment complex. Yeah, 697 00:31:49.960 --> 00:31:51.880 I think these who even dated the same guy. I 698 00:31:51.880 --> 00:31:54.559 think Grant Show was with Joe for a minute, or 699 00:31:54.599 --> 00:31:58.359 he was with Heather Locklear. So She's like, we never 700 00:31:58.440 --> 00:32:00.480 use Models Inc. You have to fire that girl. And 701 00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:03.119 then Joe's like, but she's wonderful, she's got it, she's 702 00:32:03.119 --> 00:32:06.000 a star. Why should I fire her? Doesn't make any sense. 703 00:32:06.039 --> 00:32:09.279 And a man is like, don't ask questions, you photographer, 704 00:32:09.640 --> 00:32:11.839 And Joe's like, if I didn't need the money, I'd 705 00:32:11.880 --> 00:32:16.519 walk out right now, excellent, all of this is wonderful. Basically, 706 00:32:16.519 --> 00:32:18.480 she has to fire that girl. Actually she doesn't even 707 00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:21.759 do it like Heather Locklear, takes great pleasure and being 708 00:32:21.799 --> 00:32:23.359 like you you're. 709 00:32:23.200 --> 00:32:24.440 Out, get out. 710 00:32:24.440 --> 00:32:26.400 And then the girl's like but why, and she's like, 711 00:32:26.519 --> 00:32:29.079 you went to the wrong agency. 712 00:32:29.960 --> 00:32:31.000 How just how it works. 713 00:32:31.079 --> 00:32:33.240 That's how everything works. That's how modeling works, that's how 714 00:32:33.279 --> 00:32:35.359 TV works. This is how beaches work. Yep. 715 00:32:36.200 --> 00:32:38.880 After a long day of work, Billy returns home to 716 00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:42.039 find Allison on the phone with her wealthy parents, who, 717 00:32:42.079 --> 00:32:45.279 it turns out good news, want to help them pay 718 00:32:45.319 --> 00:32:49.680 for their upcoming wedding. Unfortunately, Allison's parents are not in 719 00:32:49.880 --> 00:32:53.400 La so instead they've hired a quote unquote Beverly Hill's 720 00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:55.720 wedding planner to take care of everything. 721 00:32:55.920 --> 00:32:57.559 Oh what a dream, What a dream? 722 00:32:58.079 --> 00:33:00.640 Alison asks Billy if that would be okay, After all, 723 00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:03.839 the bride's family is supposed to pay, and Billy says 724 00:33:04.039 --> 00:33:06.359 all right. And then rather than eating their clams and 725 00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:10.680 cream sauce, well, is that what she's making? Or clams 726 00:33:10.680 --> 00:33:14.200 in the linguinilauce. 727 00:33:12.720 --> 00:33:15.799 Or something not look good? It's so funny because she's 728 00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:18.759 Cordy Thorne Smith has clearly never cooked anything in her 729 00:33:18.920 --> 00:33:22.240 entire life. She's just like poking at it with a spoon, 730 00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:24.960 and Billy comes in and he's like, smells amazing, and 731 00:33:25.400 --> 00:33:27.599 I'm like, she did not cook that, Billy, she did 732 00:33:27.680 --> 00:33:30.079 not cook. She poured that from a can into the 733 00:33:30.160 --> 00:33:32.400 pan and was inserted poking. 734 00:33:32.039 --> 00:33:36.079 At a spoon. They make out on the kitchen counter. 735 00:33:36.640 --> 00:33:39.160 What does Billy do for a living? Do you know? 736 00:33:38.839 --> 00:33:40.240 I don't know either. 737 00:33:40.359 --> 00:33:42.359 I just imagining that my feeling it's could be one 738 00:33:42.359 --> 00:33:44.759 of those business business business, business business. 739 00:33:44.440 --> 00:33:47.960 Because there's something so unserious about Andrew Shoe that I 740 00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:49.839 just cannot imagine him in an office setting. 741 00:33:49.960 --> 00:33:51.119 He seems like an eighteen year old. 742 00:33:51.119 --> 00:33:53.599 She's also a frat boy at all times, like a 743 00:33:54.079 --> 00:33:56.119 very nice frat boy, to be clear. He seems like 744 00:33:56.160 --> 00:33:58.680 a like a lovely person like the character I don't 745 00:33:58.680 --> 00:34:01.440 even know. I don't know anything about Andrew's you but 746 00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:03.119 super into soccer. 747 00:34:03.240 --> 00:34:06.079 But he was he was the husband of the woman 748 00:34:06.119 --> 00:34:08.320 who had on Morning TV, who had that affair. He 749 00:34:08.440 --> 00:34:11.880 was that he was the husband who got left. Amy 750 00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:13.880 was married to Andrew Shoe and then had an affair 751 00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:14.239 with her. 752 00:34:14.119 --> 00:34:19.559 Coworker scanniness scandero. I know he he left acting to 753 00:34:19.719 --> 00:34:23.440 get into like major league soccer because he's as like 754 00:34:23.480 --> 00:34:25.400 a manager or something, because he's he was going to 755 00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:27.719 be a soccer player, but then decided it the last 756 00:34:27.719 --> 00:34:29.679 minute when he was a teenager to turn to acting. 757 00:34:30.119 --> 00:34:32.719 And then I guess he was like, oops, I would 758 00:34:32.760 --> 00:34:34.880 have actually been a much better soccer player than. 759 00:34:35.079 --> 00:34:36.719 My sister is much better at this than me. 760 00:34:36.960 --> 00:34:39.039 Yeah, so now he went back to soccer. That's all 761 00:34:39.039 --> 00:34:41.480 I know about him. That's actually a lot more than 762 00:34:41.519 --> 00:34:44.599 I would have thought when I started talking that. When 763 00:34:44.599 --> 00:34:46.679 I started that sentence, I was like, I don't know 764 00:34:46.719 --> 00:34:48.960 anything about Andrew Shoe except his blood type, his social 765 00:34:48.960 --> 00:34:53.039 Security number, where he lives, what his ex wife is doing, where. 766 00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:53.840 That mole on his body is. 767 00:34:54.039 --> 00:34:57.679 Check that out, clearly, I know, Like that all came 768 00:34:57.719 --> 00:35:00.760 from the back of my brain. There are other more 769 00:35:00.840 --> 00:35:02.519 salient facts that I have forgotten. 770 00:35:03.199 --> 00:35:04.760 That's where algebra's supposed to be. 771 00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:10.519 That's where like my social Security number is, and instead 772 00:35:10.519 --> 00:35:13.079 it's like, oh, were you looking for this? All I 773 00:35:13.119 --> 00:35:18.000 have here is Andrew Sho's life that night while Sydney 774 00:35:18.039 --> 00:35:21.079 is off doing quote unquote hooker stuff. Don't worry about it. 775 00:35:21.079 --> 00:35:21.960 You guys, don't worry about it. 776 00:35:21.960 --> 00:35:24.519 At her party, I cannot stress enough how little the 777 00:35:24.599 --> 00:35:26.920 show gives a shit that she is a prostitute. It 778 00:35:27.079 --> 00:35:31.119 is absolutely excellent that the show could not care less. 779 00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:36.039 Michael lies in bed reading and then thunder crashes. He 780 00:35:36.039 --> 00:35:39.920 here's the door open and close. He goes Sydney, Sidney. 781 00:35:39.960 --> 00:35:43.039 He is in Janeare. He is just like this actor 782 00:35:43.199 --> 00:35:45.559 is like I am in my gothic era. This is 783 00:35:45.599 --> 00:35:47.559 what I'm doing. He is fully acting like he is 784 00:35:47.599 --> 00:35:51.639 in Janeare. He walks slowly in the pitch dark living room. 785 00:35:51.639 --> 00:35:55.760 I'm like, pitch, turn on the lights, yep, calling for Sydney, Sydney, Sydney. 786 00:35:55.800 --> 00:35:59.239 Are you home by home from your hooker stuff? It's 787 00:35:59.239 --> 00:36:01.320 only nine p I guess the hook her stuff didn't 788 00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:01.840 go that well. 789 00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:06.760 The party was a real flopping. 790 00:36:06.880 --> 00:36:11.360 The party was a real bummer man lightning crashes, illuminating 791 00:36:11.400 --> 00:36:17.159 the figure of his presumed dead ex fiance, doctor Kimberly Shaw, 792 00:36:17.599 --> 00:36:20.480 played by the luminous and Amazing and too good for 793 00:36:20.519 --> 00:36:21.840 this world Marcia Cross. 794 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:22.239 Uh huh. 795 00:36:22.880 --> 00:36:27.159 He turns on the lights and Kimberly in tones, nice 796 00:36:27.199 --> 00:36:30.840 to see you. Again, Michael, She's alive. 797 00:36:30.920 --> 00:36:33.519 He's alive. I want I want everyone to know that 798 00:36:33.679 --> 00:36:36.400 this show is so confident in itself. This is not 799 00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:39.480 a commercial break. They don't like see her editing cut 800 00:36:39.480 --> 00:36:45.280 to commercial. They just keep going. That is incredible. So 801 00:36:45.400 --> 00:36:48.920 Michael pretty wildly underreacts to someone he thought was dead 802 00:36:48.920 --> 00:36:54.159 appearing in his living room. He doesn't scream shit, holy shit, 803 00:36:54.239 --> 00:36:54.679 none of that. 804 00:36:54.800 --> 00:36:56.559 Does it throw something at her to see if it 805 00:36:56.599 --> 00:36:58.880 falls goes through her. That's what the first thing I 806 00:36:58.920 --> 00:37:01.639 would do if it was a ghost of someone I loved, 807 00:37:01.719 --> 00:37:03.559 like my mother or something, I'd be like, I'd just 808 00:37:03.639 --> 00:37:06.280 throw something at the torso to see if it went through. 809 00:37:07.280 --> 00:37:10.960 He asks, is it really you? And Kimberly asks, do 810 00:37:11.000 --> 00:37:12.719 you want to touch me to see if I'm real? 811 00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:15.199 She walks towards him, and she holds up her hands 812 00:37:15.239 --> 00:37:17.800 and they clasp hands. She tells him that she was 813 00:37:17.800 --> 00:37:20.719 in a coma for months and that her mother reported 814 00:37:20.719 --> 00:37:24.000 her dead because she was trying to protect Kimberly from Michael. 815 00:37:24.320 --> 00:37:27.360 Marsha Cross is so fucking just so good. She says 816 00:37:27.400 --> 00:37:31.440 this insane nonsense and it works. She just makes it work, 817 00:37:31.599 --> 00:37:33.840 and I can't. Paul was doing the gesture. I cannot 818 00:37:33.840 --> 00:37:36.639 tell you, guys enough, how fucking weird. She holds up 819 00:37:36.679 --> 00:37:40.119 her hands like two high fives, and Michael like they 820 00:37:40.159 --> 00:37:42.960 do that thing where they're they caress high fives for 821 00:37:43.039 --> 00:37:43.719 a moment. 822 00:37:43.760 --> 00:37:44.719 They hop palm each other. 823 00:37:45.239 --> 00:37:47.519 They hop on each other's palms and then like lays 824 00:37:47.599 --> 00:37:50.199 their hands together. But they're both like like doing the 825 00:37:50.239 --> 00:37:53.719 thriller dance at each other. And they were just standing 826 00:37:53.760 --> 00:37:56.639 there while Marsha cross dead eyes. Look this man looks 827 00:37:56.679 --> 00:37:58.559 this man in the face and is like I was 828 00:37:58.599 --> 00:38:00.559 in a coma for four months and my mother kept 829 00:38:00.559 --> 00:38:03.639 me hidden from you, even though you are a doctor, 830 00:38:04.239 --> 00:38:07.960 and like presumably no people in the medical profession who 831 00:38:07.960 --> 00:38:11.679 can tell you whether or not I am dead. We 832 00:38:11.760 --> 00:38:15.039 are colleagues. We work together. If one of my colleagues 833 00:38:15.199 --> 00:38:18.800 died in a fucking car accident tomorrow, we would be 834 00:38:18.920 --> 00:38:23.719 talking about it at work. And I'm not even a doctor. 835 00:38:23.840 --> 00:38:24.320 It's true. 836 00:38:25.079 --> 00:38:26.679 I know a lot of people think I am because 837 00:38:26.679 --> 00:38:29.519 I'm so smart and I'm so good at doctor stuff. 838 00:38:29.960 --> 00:38:31.760 It's like her being good with hook her stuff. I'm 839 00:38:31.800 --> 00:38:34.199 really good at doctor stuff. I'm gonna quit the doctor 840 00:38:34.239 --> 00:38:36.480 stuff actually to do this podcasting thing, full. 841 00:38:36.400 --> 00:38:38.760 Full time, full time. It pays better, all right. So 842 00:38:38.840 --> 00:38:40.760 Michael says if he had known, he would have been 843 00:38:40.800 --> 00:38:43.159 there for her, and Kimberly tells him, it's all right. 844 00:38:43.840 --> 00:38:45.719 I'm fine. Good news. 845 00:38:45.760 --> 00:38:48.039 They're still clasping hands, you guys, it's so weird. 846 00:38:48.320 --> 00:38:51.880 Lightning crashes. And he says he's sorry for his mistakes, 847 00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:55.519 and she kisses him, and she shows him her engagement 848 00:38:55.599 --> 00:38:59.280 ring and says, I still have this, and that means 849 00:39:00.039 --> 00:39:01.920 I still have you. 850 00:39:01.559 --> 00:39:04.000 Him that guy. You came back from the dead for 851 00:39:04.039 --> 00:39:04.360 that guy. 852 00:39:04.760 --> 00:39:08.400 This seems like an easy exit strategy, are you Frankly. 853 00:39:08.159 --> 00:39:10.239 This is an amazing way to just like moon walk 854 00:39:10.280 --> 00:39:12.519 out of his legs and find someone better. 855 00:39:12.639 --> 00:39:17.360 No picture her doing the Drew Barrymore thing. Charlie's angels 856 00:39:17.400 --> 00:39:19.440 and he says he has to tell her something, but 857 00:39:19.480 --> 00:39:21.519 she brings her hand to her head as if she's 858 00:39:21.559 --> 00:39:24.400 in pain, and she says, not now, I have to go. 859 00:39:25.960 --> 00:39:32.320 Like she came back to her, she came back from 860 00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:34.599 the dead, but she is booked and busy. 861 00:39:36.360 --> 00:39:39.840 Also she's like she's like hold clutching her head like ouch, 862 00:39:40.039 --> 00:39:43.320 and both doctors. I cannot stress enough how both of 863 00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:46.800 these people are doctors, and he's not, like, what's going 864 00:39:46.840 --> 00:39:49.559 on with your head? Do I need to examine your 865 00:39:49.559 --> 00:39:51.079 head that you're clutching? 866 00:39:51.360 --> 00:39:53.079 Came in for three minutes and it's like I have 867 00:39:53.119 --> 00:39:54.679 to go know where is she going. 868 00:39:54.519 --> 00:39:57.840 At eleven pm? How does she get into the house? 869 00:39:58.920 --> 00:40:01.199 Do they not lock their door? Where is in Los Angeles? 870 00:40:01.360 --> 00:40:03.719 I've always heard that at Los Angeles it was kind 871 00:40:03.719 --> 00:40:06.199 of a dodgy place. You might want to lock your doors. 872 00:40:06.079 --> 00:40:09.039 So he protests, but she says that she has a 873 00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:12.360 big day at the hospital tomorrow. What now you might 874 00:40:12.480 --> 00:40:14.199 think that she has to go to the hospital to 875 00:40:14.199 --> 00:40:14.840 be tree. 876 00:40:14.639 --> 00:40:18.639 Surgery for follow up, for some kind of therapy for 877 00:40:18.760 --> 00:40:21.360 these jolting head gnes. She's having. 878 00:40:21.519 --> 00:40:24.480 No it's Kimberly's first day back at work tomorrow. 879 00:40:25.400 --> 00:40:30.039 They're colleagues. If a colleague of mine died in a 880 00:40:30.079 --> 00:40:33.960 car accident and then showed up four months later and 881 00:40:34.480 --> 00:40:37.320 got rehired, and turns out they weren't dead, they were 882 00:40:37.320 --> 00:40:39.599 in a coma and their mother lied to everyone about 883 00:40:39.599 --> 00:40:42.679 it to keep them away from my job, and then 884 00:40:42.760 --> 00:40:45.480 people at my job saw them, there would be confirmation. 885 00:40:46.199 --> 00:40:47.960 How does Michael not know any of this? There is 886 00:40:48.079 --> 00:40:51.400 no one at the hospital talk to Michael. Is Michael 887 00:40:51.440 --> 00:40:51.880 the ghost? 888 00:40:52.079 --> 00:40:53.079 Maybe Michael's a ghost. 889 00:40:53.119 --> 00:40:55.559 Michael's a ghost, and only Dougs a man can see him. 890 00:40:55.679 --> 00:40:58.199 That's it, that makes sense. So she says she has 891 00:40:58.199 --> 00:41:00.840 a big day at the hospital tomorrow, she'll see him there. 892 00:41:00.880 --> 00:41:04.280 And she turns around and she's like high heels and 893 00:41:04.320 --> 00:41:08.639 it is a downpour thunder outside. She has a trench 894 00:41:08.679 --> 00:41:10.480 coat just you know how they just drape them over 895 00:41:10.519 --> 00:41:12.800 your shoulders, so it's not like attached in any way. 896 00:41:13.119 --> 00:41:16.639 And she starts walking towards a glass door, like leaning 897 00:41:16.639 --> 00:41:17.400 out onto the porch. 898 00:41:17.599 --> 00:41:20.440 She thinks she was gonna go through the door. One 899 00:41:20.559 --> 00:41:23.039 hundred thought she was gonna walk through. I knew she was, 900 00:41:23.159 --> 00:41:25.280 because I knew she was not a ghost, but like 901 00:41:25.360 --> 00:41:26.880 I still didn't. I couldn't help it. I was like, 902 00:41:27.000 --> 00:41:28.800 she's gonna walk through that door. She's gonna walk through 903 00:41:28.800 --> 00:41:29.039 the door. 904 00:41:31.119 --> 00:41:33.519 So it cuts away before she can get to the 905 00:41:33.679 --> 00:41:35.280 before she can get to the door, and we just 906 00:41:35.320 --> 00:41:38.320 see Michael's face and the lightning and thunder crashes again 907 00:41:38.360 --> 00:41:41.960 as he watches her walk away. At no point is 908 00:41:41.960 --> 00:41:43.159 he like, but I have. 909 00:41:43.159 --> 00:41:47.719 Questions, Wait, you're going back to work. Are you, okay, 910 00:41:48.039 --> 00:41:51.320 do you have the cognitive skills to doctor people? The 911 00:41:51.400 --> 00:41:55.199 next morning, Sydney kisses Michael awake. How Michael fell asleep 912 00:41:55.239 --> 00:41:57.719 after that? I don't know. I don't know. Not enough 913 00:41:57.800 --> 00:42:00.719 volume in the world. Nope, Michael is still overcome from 914 00:42:00.719 --> 00:42:02.599 the events of the prior evening. Sydney is trying to 915 00:42:02.599 --> 00:42:05.400 have a little, a little afternoon delight but in the morning, 916 00:42:05.719 --> 00:42:09.000 and Michael's like, wait, wait, what's the word morning glory? 917 00:42:08.599 --> 00:42:11.119 She's trying to have a little morning glory with Michael. 918 00:42:11.320 --> 00:42:13.880 Michael's not having it. Michael's had a fucking night, Sydney. 919 00:42:14.280 --> 00:42:16.880 Not now, Not now, Sydney, I could not get hard 920 00:42:16.880 --> 00:42:19.280 if my ex ex fiancee, I mean no, my ex 921 00:42:19.320 --> 00:42:20.199 fiancee did not walk in. 922 00:42:20.119 --> 00:42:22.079 Here, not walking here last night. How was your sex 923 00:42:22.079 --> 00:42:24.159 stuff last night? How was your hooker stuff? Did the 924 00:42:24.159 --> 00:42:25.000 hooker stuff go well? 925 00:42:25.039 --> 00:42:26.679 How many men did you sleep with last night? Tell 926 00:42:26.719 --> 00:42:28.960 me graphically, in detail, tell me everything. 927 00:42:28.760 --> 00:42:30.920 About the hooker stuff you did last night. And he's like, 928 00:42:30.960 --> 00:42:32.400 I gotta go to work, and he gets out of bed, 929 00:42:32.440 --> 00:42:36.880 and Sydney looks upset. The amount of upset she looks 930 00:42:36.920 --> 00:42:39.199 is so ridiculous. Given like, yeah, you woke him up 931 00:42:39.239 --> 00:42:42.000 from a dead sleep. He is canonically a doctor. Yeah, 932 00:42:42.199 --> 00:42:43.719 Like he has to go to work and he's like, 933 00:42:43.719 --> 00:42:45.480 I gotta go to work, and she's like, he didn't 934 00:42:45.519 --> 00:42:47.599 want to fuck me. What happened? What's going on? Is 935 00:42:48.679 --> 00:42:49.920 it is dead ex fiancee. 936 00:42:50.440 --> 00:42:52.360 Also, if she's not a madam, how much sex did 937 00:42:52.360 --> 00:42:54.360 she have last night that she wants to have sex again? 938 00:42:54.599 --> 00:42:57.199 You know what, she's a workaholic, Paul. She brings it home, 939 00:42:57.280 --> 00:42:58.840 she brings out. She's not one of those. She's not 940 00:42:58.880 --> 00:43:00.599 a work life balanced type. That's why she has to 941 00:43:00.639 --> 00:43:03.840 quit it all together. Cold turkey on the hooker staff. 942 00:43:04.599 --> 00:43:07.239 Michael's about to get more sex than he could possibly handle. 943 00:43:07.960 --> 00:43:10.159 We cut to D and D, which is an advertising 944 00:43:10.199 --> 00:43:12.559 agency in this universe and not Dungeons and Dragons. 945 00:43:12.880 --> 00:43:13.639 I wish it was both. 946 00:43:13.760 --> 00:43:15.880 I wish it was both. That is how that is 947 00:43:15.920 --> 00:43:18.480 how little like Aaron Spelling knows about anything in the 948 00:43:18.480 --> 00:43:22.039 world other than soap operas. He named something D and 949 00:43:22.119 --> 00:43:25.280 D and had no idea that he was accidentally name 950 00:43:25.360 --> 00:43:28.719 means it's something D and D. Amanda is called into 951 00:43:28.760 --> 00:43:31.480 a meeting with her boss, who is wearing an unforgivably 952 00:43:31.559 --> 00:43:34.039 ugly tie I would have taken I could, I would 953 00:43:34.039 --> 00:43:35.800 not have been able to meet with that person until 954 00:43:35.800 --> 00:43:37.320 I took a pair of scissors and just cut the 955 00:43:37.360 --> 00:43:39.320 tie off at the neck and be like, you can't 956 00:43:39.320 --> 00:43:42.440 wear this in front of me. It's gonna cause a seizure. 957 00:43:42.559 --> 00:43:43.679 This is a personal boundary. 958 00:43:43.920 --> 00:43:46.679 She gets chewed out for her vendetta against Models Inc. 959 00:43:46.679 --> 00:43:50.159 Turns out it's not company policy, it's Amanda Woodward policy. 960 00:43:50.960 --> 00:43:52.880 He tells her that she has to apologize to the 961 00:43:52.880 --> 00:43:55.119 Models Inc. Own or not just apologize. I want you 962 00:43:55.199 --> 00:43:59.880 to grovel because you have cost us potentially the ability 963 00:43:59.920 --> 00:44:03.480 to work with this up and coming, super strong agency forever. 964 00:44:04.159 --> 00:44:07.199 So at the hospital, Kimberly and Michael meet at the 965 00:44:07.239 --> 00:44:09.480 lockers as they get ready for their day. Look, not 966 00:44:09.599 --> 00:44:11.599 everyone at the hospital knew Kimberly was back. How is 967 00:44:11.639 --> 00:44:14.320 she just walking through the halls of the hospital and 968 00:44:14.320 --> 00:44:15.320 like the nurses. 969 00:44:14.960 --> 00:44:17.079 Aren't like, oh my god, she's alive. 970 00:44:20.280 --> 00:44:22.920 Michael tells her that he got married to Sydney, and 971 00:44:22.960 --> 00:44:25.760 he's even honest about why. He says she she blackmailed 972 00:44:25.760 --> 00:44:28.519 me into it. Doesn't tell her why how she blackmailed 973 00:44:28.599 --> 00:44:30.679 him into it, but does tell her she blackmailed me. 974 00:44:31.400 --> 00:44:34.079 Kimberly slams the locker door and tells him it doesn't 975 00:44:34.119 --> 00:44:36.320 matter why, You'll just have to get rid of her, 976 00:44:36.960 --> 00:44:39.320 and she kisses him and smiles. 977 00:44:40.199 --> 00:44:42.679 Him him that guy, mars Cross. 978 00:44:42.719 --> 00:44:44.840 I'm so sorry. I know you're not in your greatest 979 00:44:44.880 --> 00:44:46.360 mind right now, but have you seen you? 980 00:44:46.360 --> 00:44:49.159 You're gonna fight another girl for that guy? Yeah, just 981 00:44:49.239 --> 00:44:52.239 let her have him? Yeah, that guy? All right. We 982 00:44:52.320 --> 00:44:57.800 cut to Billy and Allison. They're so boring and they're 983 00:44:57.800 --> 00:45:00.800 meeting their wedding planner, Sheila, played by Susan Lee. 984 00:45:00.719 --> 00:45:03.920 Hoffman, who almost single handedly rescues this entire plot line. 985 00:45:04.039 --> 00:45:06.559 Almost This is a fantastic performance. 986 00:45:06.599 --> 00:45:08.119 Look, I don't mean to be mean, but I'm about 987 00:45:08.119 --> 00:45:10.760 to be so mean. Yeah, Courtney Thorn Smith and Andrew 988 00:45:10.840 --> 00:45:15.920 Schue are a black hole of charisma. Mean does that mean? 989 00:45:16.360 --> 00:45:17.639 I mean? It wasn't nice? 990 00:45:17.920 --> 00:45:21.800 Needs to have You have to pair these two people 991 00:45:21.880 --> 00:45:26.000 with better, more charismatic actors. You cannot put these two 992 00:45:26.039 --> 00:45:28.960 together as a couple on this show. It does not work. 993 00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:33.679 They are they are so boring together. They have absolutely 994 00:45:33.760 --> 00:45:36.840 no chemistry between the true of them, and like they're 995 00:45:36.880 --> 00:45:39.400 they're terrible they're just terrible together. 996 00:45:39.559 --> 00:45:43.079 I was, having not watched other episodes of this show. 997 00:45:43.239 --> 00:45:45.119 I had the same reaction of view as being like this, 998 00:45:45.280 --> 00:45:46.280 these two are quite boring. 999 00:45:46.400 --> 00:45:49.719 These like the long like star cross lovers of the show. Yeah, 1000 00:45:49.800 --> 00:45:51.880 they meet in the first episode and they're like the 1001 00:45:51.880 --> 00:45:54.239 they're the people that we're supposed to be like so 1002 00:45:54.599 --> 00:45:57.039 thrilled when they get together at the end, and think 1003 00:45:57.360 --> 00:46:00.800 these actors are They're not good. They're not good actors 1004 00:46:01.119 --> 00:46:02.719 and they cannot make this work. 1005 00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:06.239 I was just I was presuming that, Like I'm like, 1006 00:46:06.239 --> 00:46:08.079 this is a bad episode for them because they're like 1007 00:46:08.280 --> 00:46:10.000 they're not having any of the fun crazy stuff. Like 1008 00:46:10.159 --> 00:46:12.599 they are a little boring in this episode, somewhat on 1009 00:46:12.639 --> 00:46:16.000 purpose because they're bouncing off this great wedding planner performance 1010 00:46:16.320 --> 00:46:19.599 and like there's plenty going on and the other storylines. 1011 00:46:19.679 --> 00:46:21.400 We don't need this to be bonkers as well. So 1012 00:46:21.519 --> 00:46:23.679 I my reaction was like, they're a little boring, but 1013 00:46:24.159 --> 00:46:26.599 I'm sure in other episodes they're more interesting, but you're 1014 00:46:26.599 --> 00:46:27.199 telling me not. 1015 00:46:27.119 --> 00:46:30.159 So chackle of charisma. Okay, both of these actors look 1016 00:46:30.199 --> 00:46:32.800 maybe another episode, I'm just remembering it wrong. But I 1017 00:46:33.440 --> 00:46:37.719 just they're so boring. So Sheila the wedding planner is overbearing. 1018 00:46:38.039 --> 00:46:40.639 She shows no actual interest in what Billy and Allison wants. 1019 00:46:40.679 --> 00:46:43.000 She's she keeps saying, we have two days. I've never 1020 00:46:43.039 --> 00:46:46.239 been married, Paul, you have, Yeah, let's let's discuss wedding 1021 00:46:46.280 --> 00:46:49.199 planning for a second. Here they don't have a venue, 1022 00:46:49.679 --> 00:46:52.760 so their date is fairly arbitrary at this point, I 1023 00:46:52.800 --> 00:46:55.239 would say, so it's like the freak out that this 1024 00:46:55.280 --> 00:46:57.599 woman is having is that they have literally two days 1025 00:46:58.079 --> 00:47:01.559 to put an entire wedding together. They push it out 1026 00:47:01.599 --> 00:47:05.760 a month, Give yourself a fucking month, give yourself seven months. 1027 00:47:05.840 --> 00:47:09.199 You have time. Although these two now, well no, because 1028 00:47:09.199 --> 00:47:11.039 they fuck this morning, so that clock is no longer 1029 00:47:11.079 --> 00:47:14.559 taking either. There's no time clock here, There's no they're 1030 00:47:14.599 --> 00:47:17.239 not pregnant. There's no reason these to like have to 1031 00:47:17.280 --> 00:47:21.000 get married fast, Like what is happening? So this woman 1032 00:47:21.159 --> 00:47:23.320 is she shows no interest in them. She just hurts 1033 00:47:23.320 --> 00:47:26.400 them along to her chosen path towards their nuptials. Alison 1034 00:47:26.440 --> 00:47:29.519 immediately can't stand her. Billy is a little less like 1035 00:47:29.639 --> 00:47:31.960 he's like, she seems okay, he's such a guy. He's like, 1036 00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:33.639 I don't care as long as long as I don't 1037 00:47:33.679 --> 00:47:35.840 have to look at napkins, I'm fine with it. But 1038 00:47:35.920 --> 00:47:38.480 he keeps she keeps calling him William h and that 1039 00:47:38.679 --> 00:47:41.079 does get under his skin. He's like, it's Billy. Yeah, 1040 00:47:41.119 --> 00:47:44.079 no problem, William, it's Billy. And that's that's the little 1041 00:47:44.119 --> 00:47:44.920 crack in his armor. 1042 00:47:45.119 --> 00:47:48.199 They're at this restaurant and it's it's the restaurant. She's 1043 00:47:48.239 --> 00:47:50.639 chosen to do the food and she's like, well, what 1044 00:47:50.679 --> 00:47:52.679 do you think of the food here? And she's like, 1045 00:47:52.840 --> 00:47:55.119 you must like it, Michael, and he goes, yeah, it 1046 00:47:55.159 --> 00:47:55.760 was good. 1047 00:47:55.960 --> 00:47:58.760 Meaty, meaty, meaty. There. 1048 00:47:58.760 --> 00:47:59.960 Really, what a compliment. 1049 00:48:00.039 --> 00:48:02.679 The writers don't like this. This these actors, they're just 1050 00:48:02.719 --> 00:48:06.239 not giving them. Doug's event has two seconds in the show, 1051 00:48:06.239 --> 00:48:08.880 and he makes them sing like Doug spant however that's 1052 00:48:09.039 --> 00:48:12.119 his name, is pronounced like. He's really funny, Like you. 1053 00:48:12.119 --> 00:48:14.840 You are the other comedic relief on this in this episode. 1054 00:48:14.880 --> 00:48:17.360 You've got to be funnier than this. You totally step 1055 00:48:17.400 --> 00:48:17.760 it up. 1056 00:48:18.119 --> 00:48:21.079 So Michael heads home in the middle of the day 1057 00:48:21.119 --> 00:48:23.280 because doctors don't need to be at the hospital all 1058 00:48:23.320 --> 00:48:24.159 the time when they're working. 1059 00:48:24.360 --> 00:48:26.599 Doctoring is notoriously an easy job. 1060 00:48:26.719 --> 00:48:29.519 Yep, he finds Sidney eating lunch at the kitchen counter. 1061 00:48:29.639 --> 00:48:31.159 She has a buffet. 1062 00:48:30.920 --> 00:48:35.239 Shot an enormous like like punch bowl full of tuna salad. 1063 00:48:36.079 --> 00:48:38.000 It's like, what is happening? 1064 00:48:38.079 --> 00:48:40.960 You're making it for one open one can of tuna? 1065 00:48:41.800 --> 00:48:44.840 Why did you put four cans of tuna into this 1066 00:48:44.960 --> 00:48:45.679 fucking bowl? 1067 00:48:46.320 --> 00:48:51.079 Michael? Now, I can't stress enough. Before this, like Michael 1068 00:48:51.079 --> 00:48:53.280 and Sidney seemed happy on the beach, and then he. 1069 00:48:53.280 --> 00:48:56.519 Saw Kimberly excited. Yeah, she's gonna make his dreams come true. 1070 00:48:56.559 --> 00:48:58.280 He's gonna be just a doctor's wife who's there to 1071 00:48:58.320 --> 00:49:02.199 take care of him Kimberly. Appea, He's taken aback by 1072 00:49:02.239 --> 00:49:05.239 Kimberly's appearance. He doesn't. I mean, he's happy that she's 1073 00:49:05.280 --> 00:49:09.639 not dead, but he's not like fully on board. He's confused, understandably, 1074 00:49:09.639 --> 00:49:13.199 so he comes in and he breaks up with Sidney 1075 00:49:13.239 --> 00:49:14.199 with glee. 1076 00:49:14.159 --> 00:49:17.519 The cruelest fucking thing he can way he can. 1077 00:49:18.239 --> 00:49:21.119 He tells her to get out of his house, and 1078 00:49:21.159 --> 00:49:23.760 Sydney tries to protest. She even brings up you know 1079 00:49:24.239 --> 00:49:26.800 I can make things go bad for you. Remember how 1080 00:49:26.840 --> 00:49:28.960 we got together in the first place. I blackmailed you 1081 00:49:29.000 --> 00:49:32.280 into marrying me and he's unmoved. He tells her to 1082 00:49:32.400 --> 00:49:35.559 pack her bags and she loses it. She yells, he's 1083 00:49:35.599 --> 00:49:38.079 going to prison where he's going to be the wife. 1084 00:49:38.199 --> 00:49:39.079 How do you like that? 1085 00:49:39.199 --> 00:49:41.400 Okay, look, the joke doesn't age well. Yeah, but this 1086 00:49:41.440 --> 00:49:43.880 actress really nails it. She nails it. 1087 00:49:44.280 --> 00:49:48.719 Michael smirks, he's unconcerned, and Sydney grabs her person storms 1088 00:49:48.719 --> 00:49:49.679 out of the beach house. 1089 00:49:50.039 --> 00:49:53.320 He's skipping. He is so happy, Yeah, to break up 1090 00:49:53.360 --> 00:49:54.920 with this woman that he was madly in love with 1091 00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:56.000 twenty four hours ago. 1092 00:49:56.079 --> 00:49:56.280 Yep. 1093 00:49:56.519 --> 00:50:01.079 We cut back to billionaire Sheila to the home of 1094 00:50:01.079 --> 00:50:05.039 their fashion designer friend Jane Josie Bissett, who's another full 1095 00:50:05.119 --> 00:50:08.440 character on this show. Don't worry about it. She's making 1096 00:50:08.519 --> 00:50:11.079 Allison's really truly hideous wedding dress. 1097 00:50:11.280 --> 00:50:14.000 So I was okay, I was like, this looks really ugly, 1098 00:50:14.360 --> 00:50:14.960 and then I was. 1099 00:50:14.960 --> 00:50:17.760 Like, it's nineties ugly, and you look at what Josie 1100 00:50:17.760 --> 00:50:20.760 Bissett is wearing and you're like, oh, I see, I 1101 00:50:20.800 --> 00:50:21.119 get it. 1102 00:50:21.519 --> 00:50:24.280 But I looked up the actual wedding episode because I 1103 00:50:24.320 --> 00:50:26.360 was like, because they have this big bow that's just 1104 00:50:26.400 --> 00:50:28.719 sitting on the on the top of the neck of 1105 00:50:28.760 --> 00:50:31.519 the dress form. I'm like, is that supposed to go 1106 00:50:31.639 --> 00:50:34.639 in her hair? It's not. It goes on her ass, 1107 00:50:34.679 --> 00:50:38.199 which is somewhat better. But I only saw the top 1108 00:50:38.239 --> 00:50:41.199 of the dress. It wasn't hideous. It was like it 1109 00:50:41.239 --> 00:50:44.400 was like a rhinestone bustier. Not my taste, but not 1110 00:50:44.599 --> 00:50:47.679 like not like the toilet paper roll dress from Golden Girls, right, Like. 1111 00:50:47.639 --> 00:50:49.920 That's truly the pinnacle of bad wedding dresses. 1112 00:50:50.159 --> 00:50:51.559 That's the pinnacle of bed everything. 1113 00:50:52.000 --> 00:50:54.840 So okay, So this didn't have like epaulets. I swear 1114 00:50:54.880 --> 00:50:56.119 to god I saw epilet. 1115 00:50:56.159 --> 00:50:58.480 I'm not certain it's actually the same dress. 1116 00:50:58.760 --> 00:51:00.719 Okay, that makes a lot a lot of sense. That 1117 00:51:00.760 --> 00:51:03.360 makes a lot of sense, got it? Okay, So Sheila 1118 00:51:03.480 --> 00:51:06.400 compliments Jane on her work. Jane's like thrilled. I'm so 1119 00:51:06.559 --> 00:51:08.800 happy to make the dress to these two people that 1120 00:51:08.840 --> 00:51:11.440 I love and live twenty feet away from. 1121 00:51:11.800 --> 00:51:14.800 And it's also like, potentially, Jane is a fashion designer 1122 00:51:15.079 --> 00:51:17.760 and it's potentially a really good connection for her if 1123 00:51:17.760 --> 00:51:20.280 this wedding planner is someone who might like refer clients 1124 00:51:20.280 --> 00:51:21.320 to her in the future. 1125 00:51:21.480 --> 00:51:24.239 As soon as it go outside, Sheila's like, yuck, right, 1126 00:51:24.400 --> 00:51:26.679 that dress? Am I right? You guys? That was gross 1127 00:51:27.199 --> 00:51:30.039 And she says to Alison the line you said your 1128 00:51:30.079 --> 00:51:33.199 dress was white, that was practically eggshell? 1129 00:51:34.760 --> 00:51:37.840 Are you are? Actress is leaning in so much and 1130 00:51:37.880 --> 00:51:38.639 it's so good. 1131 00:51:38.760 --> 00:51:40.960 She has her five minutes Paul, Yeah, and she has 1132 00:51:41.000 --> 00:51:45.079 her one seat more one episode star from this she 1133 00:51:45.119 --> 00:51:48.159 got to do in nineteen ninety three. Allison's like, I 1134 00:51:48.280 --> 00:51:50.400 like the dress. I picked out that dress. I'd helped 1135 00:51:50.440 --> 00:51:53.199 her design it. And she's like, oh, okay, then well, 1136 00:51:53.400 --> 00:51:54.960 if she's your friend and you want to use it, 1137 00:51:54.960 --> 00:51:58.280 that's fine. But then she bulldozes them about tuxes. She's like, Billy, 1138 00:51:58.480 --> 00:52:01.280 meet me at ARMANI tomorrow. I'm sharp and he's like, oh, 1139 00:52:01.320 --> 00:52:02.519 but I don't want to wear them. She's like, you 1140 00:52:02.639 --> 00:52:06.639 worry our money. Bye, and it just leaves thank you, 1141 00:52:06.679 --> 00:52:08.639 William and he goes, my name is Billy. 1142 00:52:09.360 --> 00:52:12.480 We cut to d and d Amanda is pacing nervously 1143 00:52:12.559 --> 00:52:14.760 waiting to be called into the meeting with models. Inc. Okay, 1144 00:52:14.800 --> 00:52:16.760 so this is this is just a dumb staging thing. 1145 00:52:16.880 --> 00:52:20.280 But like she's pacing outside of this one office, there's 1146 00:52:20.280 --> 00:52:23.079 a guy in the office that like stands up. He's 1147 00:52:23.079 --> 00:52:24.880 like he's like in a cubicle, he's facing a wall. 1148 00:52:25.000 --> 00:52:26.679 Uh huh. He stands up, he walks out. He's like, 1149 00:52:26.679 --> 00:52:28.480 they're ready for you, Amanda, and she's like great, and 1150 00:52:28.519 --> 00:52:31.639 then she walks away from him, like through the whole 1151 00:52:31.639 --> 00:52:33.679 office to get so, like ny all out of the 1152 00:52:33.679 --> 00:52:36.199 conference room? Did that guy that guy to tell her 1153 00:52:36.239 --> 00:52:38.800 to come rather than simply having her like be in 1154 00:52:38.880 --> 00:52:40.760 her office and then buzz her whatever? 1155 00:52:41.000 --> 00:52:44.079 Whatever, You're right, that makes no sense. Why why did 1156 00:52:44.119 --> 00:52:44.559 they do that? 1157 00:52:45.159 --> 00:52:47.960 So we cut to the Model's Inc. Meeting where Hillary 1158 00:52:48.039 --> 00:52:52.199 Michael's played by Linda Gray, the Dallas alum, who is excellent. 1159 00:52:52.719 --> 00:52:54.360 I have to say I saw her name pop up 1160 00:52:54.360 --> 00:52:56.320 in the credits at the beginning of the episode, and 1161 00:52:56.360 --> 00:52:58.960 I was, like, Linda Gray is in this episode of 1162 00:52:59.039 --> 00:53:00.000 Meloe's plays. 1163 00:53:00.599 --> 00:53:02.880 Yeah. Yeah. First of all, let me tell let's start here. 1164 00:53:03.320 --> 00:53:06.480 I love a business meeting where the most important person 1165 00:53:07.039 --> 00:53:11.800 is sitting on the conference table, fully facing away from everybody. 1166 00:53:11.400 --> 00:53:13.559 Else's the vill tearing out the window. 1167 00:53:13.840 --> 00:53:16.960 And just dictating what's going on exactly how all business 1168 00:53:17.000 --> 00:53:22.079 meetings have ever been happened? Anyway, Hillary is refusing any apologies. 1169 00:53:22.159 --> 00:53:25.559 She's insisting that she wants the person responsible, and Amanda 1170 00:53:25.679 --> 00:53:27.480 enters and the two women meet eyes and Hillary is 1171 00:53:27.519 --> 00:53:32.880 surprised and she says Amanda, and Amanda says, hello, mother, 1172 00:53:33.800 --> 00:53:34.960 done dun dum. 1173 00:53:37.519 --> 00:53:40.119 This is a commercial break, right, let's get a commercial break. 1174 00:53:40.119 --> 00:53:43.039 That's a good that's a good commercial break. We cut 1175 00:53:43.079 --> 00:53:45.760 to after the meeting as Amanda and Hillary leave the 1176 00:53:45.840 --> 00:53:47.360 Dungeons and Dragon offices. 1177 00:53:48.320 --> 00:53:52.320 They've defeated they've defeated the the Orc King, and they're 1178 00:53:52.360 --> 00:53:53.440 headed back to the Keep. 1179 00:53:53.599 --> 00:53:58.760 They've defeated the Demi Gorgon. Hillary tries to make small talk, 1180 00:53:58.800 --> 00:54:00.679 but Amanda is not interested. She says she may have 1181 00:54:00.679 --> 00:54:02.880 to do business with her mother, but she wants no 1182 00:54:03.199 --> 00:54:06.679 further relationship, not after Hillary left Amanda and her father 1183 00:54:06.800 --> 00:54:10.719 years ago. Hillary protests, you don't know the whole story. 1184 00:54:10.760 --> 00:54:13.480 Does anyone ever know any of the whole stories? But 1185 00:54:13.559 --> 00:54:15.320 you don't know the whole story. What's the whole story? 1186 00:54:15.400 --> 00:54:17.000 I left? Oh? You know what? You did know those 1187 00:54:17.239 --> 00:54:17.599 that was it? 1188 00:54:17.719 --> 00:54:18.039 You know what? 1189 00:54:18.079 --> 00:54:19.840 I thought there was more story, but as I said 1190 00:54:19.840 --> 00:54:23.159 it out loud, I left. Yeah, No, that was the 1191 00:54:23.199 --> 00:54:27.360 whole story. You gotta telled it. I didn't want to 1192 00:54:27.360 --> 00:54:30.000 be a mom. You were a terrible kid. Yeah, glad, 1193 00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:33.400 I said that aloud. Amanda's like, I don't want to 1194 00:54:33.440 --> 00:54:36.079 hear your whole story, and she cuts her off and leaves. 1195 00:54:36.760 --> 00:54:39.280 I wouldn't have left, but I actually really disliked you. 1196 00:54:39.280 --> 00:54:41.519 You were the problem. We cut that. 1197 00:54:41.719 --> 00:54:46.760 Okay, okay, excited, I'm so excited to talk about this scene. 1198 00:54:47.440 --> 00:54:49.599 We cut back to the hospital. The setting for this 1199 00:54:49.760 --> 00:54:55.639 scene is deranged, so we cut back the hospital. Standing 1200 00:54:55.639 --> 00:55:01.760 in a line are doctor Michael Mancini, then Sidney, his 1201 00:55:02.039 --> 00:55:02.519 soon to be. 1202 00:55:02.559 --> 00:55:04.480 Ex wife, he's a strange ext wife. 1203 00:55:04.840 --> 00:55:09.039 Then Matt Fielding Gay the gay. They're standing in line 1204 00:55:09.159 --> 00:55:11.239 in like an examining room in the hospital. The door 1205 00:55:11.280 --> 00:55:14.920 is wide open. Also in the room is a police 1206 00:55:14.960 --> 00:55:16.960 detective just. 1207 00:55:17.400 --> 00:55:20.320 Our hands on hips being all detectivey. 1208 00:55:20.840 --> 00:55:25.599 He's interrogating Michael about accusations made by Sidney. This is 1209 00:55:25.639 --> 00:55:30.639 exactly where police usually choose to discuss potential vehicular homicides. 1210 00:55:31.199 --> 00:55:32.159 Ha. 1211 00:55:33.079 --> 00:55:37.119 So Michael says that Sydney is crazy. He doesn't even 1212 00:55:37.119 --> 00:55:39.360 know what she's talking about, and she's like, no, like 1213 00:55:39.440 --> 00:55:43.199 I have proof, my sister will will testify, blah blah, 1214 00:55:43.280 --> 00:55:47.360 and on cue Kimberly enters. She says Hi, they're sid 1215 00:55:47.800 --> 00:55:52.039 and Sidney faints and then Kimberly dead pans. Finally, the 1216 00:55:52.079 --> 00:55:53.480 reaction I've been looking for. 1217 00:55:53.960 --> 00:55:55.199 Amazing, amazing. 1218 00:55:55.519 --> 00:55:58.239 The reason Matt is in this scene is to catch 1219 00:55:58.320 --> 00:55:59.800 Sydney when she faints. 1220 00:56:00.039 --> 00:56:03.320 His reaction shot is very good. Is very very good. 1221 00:56:03.480 --> 00:56:05.719 I mean, they paid Doug Savant for this episode, so 1222 00:56:05.719 --> 00:56:07.000 they might as well have him come in for the sea. 1223 00:56:07.119 --> 00:56:09.599 Yeah. Look, if you have a comedic like assassin on 1224 00:56:09.639 --> 00:56:12.960 your hands, like Doug Savant, you're using him basically Michael's 1225 00:56:12.960 --> 00:56:15.320 then like, uh, there can't be a murder if there's 1226 00:56:15.360 --> 00:56:19.559 no murder victim. Dun, dun, dun. We cut to Hillary 1227 00:56:19.679 --> 00:56:22.920 knocking on Amanda's apartment door. Here's the problem with soap operas, too, 1228 00:56:23.480 --> 00:56:26.559 is it like there's five plots in this episode and 1229 00:56:26.639 --> 00:56:28.599 only one of them do I give a shit about? Yeah, 1230 00:56:28.639 --> 00:56:30.679 And so every time they cut away and I look, 1231 00:56:30.760 --> 00:56:32.760 this is Linda Gray that like, I'm all in on 1232 00:56:32.800 --> 00:56:35.119 this one too, I guess. But like every time they 1233 00:56:35.119 --> 00:56:39.039 cut to something else that's not the insane thing happening 1234 00:56:39.039 --> 00:56:42.599 with Michael, I'm like, just do the insane thing happening 1235 00:56:42.599 --> 00:56:44.599 with Michael for a whole episode, please. 1236 00:56:44.360 --> 00:56:47.360 Well, because everything else is cresting, right This is it's peaking. 1237 00:56:47.400 --> 00:56:49.800 This storyline is peaking right now, everything else is building. 1238 00:56:49.800 --> 00:56:52.039 So there's another I'm sure next episode it's gonna be 1239 00:56:52.280 --> 00:56:54.679 Daphne's Aniga figuring out that model has been abused, and 1240 00:56:54.719 --> 00:56:55.880 we're gonna a lot of drama that. 1241 00:56:56.280 --> 00:56:57.840 I mean, it has to be like a Linda Gray 1242 00:56:57.880 --> 00:57:00.320 Heather Lockleyer food fight right at some point, like in 1243 00:57:00.320 --> 00:57:03.119 a fancy restaurant somewhere like that has to have happened, 1244 00:57:03.519 --> 00:57:05.480 So I get it. But that is my problem with 1245 00:57:05.519 --> 00:57:07.000 soap operas, where I'm just like, just stick to the 1246 00:57:07.039 --> 00:57:10.280 thing that's really interesting, you guys. Hillary knocks in Amanda's door. 1247 00:57:10.320 --> 00:57:12.800 Amanda isn't there, but the door is answered by her boyfriend, 1248 00:57:12.920 --> 00:57:14.199 Jake Hansen played by. 1249 00:57:14.159 --> 00:57:16.360 Grant Show, another person on the show. 1250 00:57:16.360 --> 00:57:19.480 Like legitimately thirty five minutes into this episode and he 1251 00:57:19.519 --> 00:57:22.639 finally shows up. Yeah, Jake invites Hillary in, despite having 1252 00:57:22.679 --> 00:57:24.800 at least some idea of the state of her relationship 1253 00:57:24.800 --> 00:57:27.039 with Amanda. He's like, Oh, you're her a strange mother 1254 00:57:27.079 --> 00:57:28.719 that she hates. Yeah, do you want to come in? 1255 00:57:28.880 --> 00:57:31.320 To be clear, he does not live there. He is 1256 00:57:31.719 --> 00:57:34.599 like making dinner for Amanda before Amanda gets home from work, 1257 00:57:34.639 --> 00:57:35.000 because I. 1258 00:57:34.960 --> 00:57:37.199 Get marinating steaks because he's a man. That's all you 1259 00:57:37.199 --> 00:57:37.480 can do. 1260 00:57:37.559 --> 00:57:39.719 Because apparently Jake doesn't have a job. I don't know 1261 00:57:39.800 --> 00:57:40.519 what Jake does. 1262 00:57:40.599 --> 00:57:42.679 Here's the secret, kids. If you can marinate steaks, you 1263 00:57:42.719 --> 00:57:44.639 can marinate literally anything else. 1264 00:57:45.000 --> 00:57:47.559 Wait, hang on to write this one down. What can 1265 00:57:47.599 --> 00:57:48.440 you marinate chicken? 1266 00:57:48.519 --> 00:57:48.920 Yeah? Huh? 1267 00:57:49.119 --> 00:57:53.320 Can you marinate salmon? Can you marinate donkey? Could you 1268 00:57:53.360 --> 00:57:54.280 marinate vegetables? 1269 00:57:54.400 --> 00:57:54.679 Yeah? 1270 00:57:54.719 --> 00:57:56.599 Hang on, guys, I have like fifteen more? And then 1271 00:57:56.599 --> 00:57:58.440 I'm not I sweart. Can you marinate? 1272 00:57:58.480 --> 00:57:58.559 No? 1273 00:57:59.199 --> 00:58:01.599 Like, yeah, it's so well, it's anyway. So he's just 1274 00:58:01.760 --> 00:58:04.519 visiting Amanda's house. She's she's given him a key to 1275 00:58:04.559 --> 00:58:07.559 her house, and he's like, yeah, sure, Ald, invite your 1276 00:58:07.639 --> 00:58:11.199 estrange mother right on in. Yeah, PSA for this episode. 1277 00:58:11.280 --> 00:58:11.719 Don't do that. 1278 00:58:11.760 --> 00:58:12.280 Don't do that. 1279 00:58:12.480 --> 00:58:14.920 He offers her a glass of wine, and Hillary is 1280 00:58:15.000 --> 00:58:17.400 overcome with pride for her daughter, who has made such 1281 00:58:17.400 --> 00:58:20.320 an amazing life for herself. She's taken two steps into 1282 00:58:20.320 --> 00:58:24.000 this woman's living room seeing furniture, Yeah, just basic furniture, 1283 00:58:24.000 --> 00:58:27.280 and is like, oh my god, she made it. She survived. 1284 00:58:27.480 --> 00:58:29.480 But you know what, Lindic Gray makes it work. She 1285 00:58:29.559 --> 00:58:32.480 does that woman knows her way around a soap opera script. Like, 1286 00:58:32.719 --> 00:58:35.519 I feel like so many soap opera actors get a 1287 00:58:35.559 --> 00:58:37.639 bad rapper or they don't get the respect they deserve 1288 00:58:37.760 --> 00:58:40.519 because they are particularly on the daytime soap, so they're 1289 00:58:40.559 --> 00:58:43.519 churning out five fucking episodes a week. Yeah, that is 1290 00:58:43.599 --> 00:58:47.840 a work horse, Like you are learning lines and somehow 1291 00:58:47.840 --> 00:58:50.199 getting through scenes like that's hard. 1292 00:58:50.079 --> 00:58:53.239 Scenes that were written fifteen minutes ago by exhausted writers 1293 00:58:53.239 --> 00:58:55.119 who are like, I don't know, Yeah, just hit him 1294 00:58:55.159 --> 00:58:56.280 across the face and walk away. 1295 00:58:56.360 --> 00:58:57.920 Yeah, make sure that you can cry and go do 1296 00:58:57.960 --> 00:59:01.360 it like and there's they deserve their props. 1297 00:59:01.440 --> 00:59:04.000 It's true. That's why is when someone like Marcia Cross 1298 00:59:04.480 --> 00:59:08.639 is like so good at it, it's like you are 1299 00:59:08.719 --> 00:59:12.679 a genius actor. To make this seem natural. Hillary says 1300 00:59:12.719 --> 00:59:15.719 she wants a chance to explain herself to Amanda, and 1301 00:59:15.840 --> 00:59:18.079 Jake hugs Hillary because she's crying and he don't know 1302 00:59:18.079 --> 00:59:19.480 what to do, so he kind of like hugs her 1303 00:59:19.719 --> 00:59:22.320 and offers to talk to Amanda for her. He's like, 1304 00:59:22.519 --> 00:59:24.719 let me be the bridge, let me fix this relationship 1305 00:59:24.760 --> 00:59:26.760 between you and your daughter. Ye. I don't know how 1306 00:59:26.760 --> 00:59:28.719 long Heather Lockley has been on this show, but these 1307 00:59:28.719 --> 00:59:30.360 two could not have been together for more than a 1308 00:59:30.400 --> 00:59:32.880 month before he was like, hang on, I got this. 1309 00:59:33.320 --> 00:59:36.000 What exactly is going on with Grant Show's outfit. 1310 00:59:36.559 --> 00:59:40.440 The mom jeans? This is they have put him in 1311 00:59:41.280 --> 00:59:45.760 a chastity belt in denim form. It is so hideous. 1312 00:59:45.840 --> 00:59:48.559 This is worse than the model stresses. I actually think 1313 00:59:48.599 --> 00:59:52.159 the model stresses look better Grant Show. In the credits, 1314 00:59:52.199 --> 00:59:55.159 Grant Show is shirtless. They know why Grant Show is there? 1315 00:59:55.280 --> 00:59:58.960 And or white tank top with a leather jacket like classic, 1316 00:59:59.119 --> 01:00:02.199 classic handsome. I'm sitting on top of a motorcycle. It's 1317 01:00:02.280 --> 01:00:03.440 his job, motorcycle. 1318 01:00:03.559 --> 01:00:04.440 I believe it's mechanic. 1319 01:00:04.559 --> 01:00:08.119 Is that his his job's his job is motorcycles. 1320 01:00:07.719 --> 01:00:09.239 Jobs, motorcycle. I said what I said? 1321 01:00:09.320 --> 01:00:11.440 I said what I said. Yeah, okay, that makes a 1322 01:00:11.480 --> 01:00:14.800 little more sense then okay, you no, this outfit is 1323 01:00:15.239 --> 01:00:17.920 it's just the most sexless thing I've ever seen a 1324 01:00:17.960 --> 01:00:18.440 man wear. 1325 01:00:18.559 --> 01:00:20.840 It's like those eight that eighties wash of jeans or 1326 01:00:20.880 --> 01:00:23.079 nineties washing jeans where it's like pale blue and then 1327 01:00:23.079 --> 01:00:26.440 he has a shirt on that's almost the same color. 1328 01:00:26.519 --> 01:00:28.639 It's not denim, but it's almost the same color. It's 1329 01:00:28.639 --> 01:00:30.840 also quite baggy. I'm like, I know that's a good 1330 01:00:30.880 --> 01:00:34.199 looking man, but I can't see past the the schmot 1331 01:00:34.239 --> 01:00:34.920 that you have on him. 1332 01:00:35.000 --> 01:00:37.039 It's like he's on the news and they've blurred out 1333 01:00:37.079 --> 01:00:40.599 his body. There is like it's not his face but 1334 01:00:40.719 --> 01:00:43.079 his body. They're like, we cannot show you this man's body, 1335 01:00:43.079 --> 01:00:45.679 and they blurred him out. It's because you can't see 1336 01:00:45.760 --> 01:00:48.159 any any definition anything. 1337 01:00:48.199 --> 01:00:50.280 There's nothing that actually nude. And they added all his 1338 01:00:50.400 --> 01:00:51.280 clothes posts. 1339 01:00:53.000 --> 01:00:55.840 It's that's grant show only works in the nude. It's 1340 01:00:55.840 --> 01:00:57.960 the only way he can remember his lines correct, so 1341 01:00:58.000 --> 01:00:59.719 they have to they have to add on the clothes 1342 01:00:59.719 --> 01:01:01.199 afters in post, I. 1343 01:01:01.119 --> 01:01:03.000 Mean, get me a job on a Grand show show. 1344 01:01:03.119 --> 01:01:04.960 Right now, it's a Grand show show. 1345 01:01:05.000 --> 01:01:06.880 It's a Grand show show. We cut to Michael and 1346 01:01:06.960 --> 01:01:09.760 Kimberly at dinner. Michael, who he must remember it has 1347 01:01:09.880 --> 01:01:14.880 been freshly exonerated for a potential vehicular manslaughter due to 1348 01:01:14.920 --> 01:01:17.880 his drunk driving, from which he has been emotionally suffering 1349 01:01:17.960 --> 01:01:19.800 for I don't know, let's say six months. I have 1350 01:01:19.800 --> 01:01:21.599 no idea what the time of the show is is. 1351 01:01:21.559 --> 01:01:24.559 Four months, she says it for four months. 1352 01:01:24.599 --> 01:01:27.039 He is sucking down drinks and wants to order another. 1353 01:01:27.320 --> 01:01:29.960 He's like, whoah, let's party a free. 1354 01:01:30.119 --> 01:01:33.719 Let's remember that while Kimberly did survive, she was still 1355 01:01:34.559 --> 01:01:38.519 severely injured in a drunk driving accident that this man 1356 01:01:38.639 --> 01:01:42.199 was responsible for. Kimberly stops him cold. This is where 1357 01:01:42.239 --> 01:01:44.079 Marcia Cross is starting to come out right. She has 1358 01:01:44.119 --> 01:01:45.480 no menus. 1359 01:01:45.920 --> 01:01:48.639 He has had at least two cocktails before they've even 1360 01:01:48.760 --> 01:01:53.320 gotten a menu, not their food, a menu, and she's like, 1361 01:01:53.400 --> 01:01:55.800 She tells the waiter She's like, menus now, and the 1362 01:01:55.840 --> 01:02:00.400 waiter looks at Michael is like, sorry, what a bit right. 1363 01:02:01.119 --> 01:02:03.119 She holds the crown of her head again and she 1364 01:02:03.159 --> 01:02:05.320 pulls out some pills and she explains that I have 1365 01:02:05.400 --> 01:02:06.800 these for these headaches I've been getting. 1366 01:02:06.960 --> 01:02:09.920 Yeah again he is a doctor. Yeah, he asks, no question, 1367 01:02:09.960 --> 01:02:12.320 no follow up. No, he's not like, what meds are 1368 01:02:12.320 --> 01:02:15.000 you on? Like? Who prescribed him for you? How many 1369 01:02:15.039 --> 01:02:17.239 do you take in a day? Exactly where in your 1370 01:02:17.280 --> 01:02:20.679 head are these headaches coming from? Nothing, no interests at 1371 01:02:20.679 --> 01:02:25.599 all in his girlfriend's well being. We cut back to Amanda. 1372 01:02:25.679 --> 01:02:28.760 Amanda is chewing Jake out for his impertinence and getting 1373 01:02:28.800 --> 01:02:31.840 involved in her relationship with her mother. She is not wrong, 1374 01:02:32.039 --> 01:02:34.000 Jake says, look like it or not. She is your 1375 01:02:34.039 --> 01:02:36.679 mother and you can't just run away from that. Yeah, 1376 01:02:36.719 --> 01:02:39.000 And I'm like, Jake must be so good in bed. 1377 01:02:39.079 --> 01:02:41.000 Oh yeah, for her to eat, not just be like 1378 01:02:41.199 --> 01:02:43.960 we're done. I can't with you. I can't with you. 1379 01:02:44.679 --> 01:02:46.840 Put on something with definition and get out of here. 1380 01:02:47.000 --> 01:02:48.800 Take off this blurring. I need to see his penis. 1381 01:02:49.280 --> 01:02:52.480 I need to remember why he's here. We cut to Sydney. 1382 01:02:52.519 --> 01:02:55.119 Remember Sydney when when we last saw her she was 1383 01:02:55.159 --> 01:02:56.639 fainting into Matte Fielding's arm. 1384 01:02:56.679 --> 01:02:57.960 Well, she is. She in the hook her business. 1385 01:02:58.320 --> 01:03:00.559 She wasn't hooker business, but she left it for good, gotcha. 1386 01:03:00.679 --> 01:03:02.800 Yeah, she's carrying I hope she didn't burn any bridges 1387 01:03:02.880 --> 01:03:05.960 the way out. I hope she didn't do a Yeah, 1388 01:03:05.960 --> 01:03:07.840 I hope she didn't do a Jerry Maguire last night 1389 01:03:07.880 --> 01:03:11.199 and leave the hotel room being like, fuck you, fuck you, 1390 01:03:11.199 --> 01:03:15.000 You're cool. I'm taking the goldfish with me. 1391 01:03:16.440 --> 01:03:19.559 She's carrying a suitcase. She's walking up to Melrose Place 1392 01:03:19.559 --> 01:03:23.400 and she knocks on Jane's door. Now, Erica do you 1393 01:03:23.519 --> 01:03:25.920 know what these two characters are to each other? 1394 01:03:26.599 --> 01:03:27.039 Sisters? 1395 01:03:27.079 --> 01:03:27.880 These are sisters. 1396 01:03:27.920 --> 01:03:30.280 I did know that. I remember that these are sisters. 1397 01:03:30.360 --> 01:03:31.960 I did not know that until I looked it up. 1398 01:03:33.800 --> 01:03:38.440 So these are two sisters. She knocks on Jane's door. 1399 01:03:38.519 --> 01:03:41.760 Jane opens it. She is absolutely not interested in anything 1400 01:03:41.840 --> 01:03:44.920 Sidney has to say. She very calmly tells her that 1401 01:03:44.960 --> 01:03:48.119 blackmail just isn't a good building block for a relationship. 1402 01:03:48.199 --> 01:03:51.159 I just just remind people who don't remember, Jane was 1403 01:03:51.320 --> 01:03:54.599 married to Michael before all of this went down with 1404 01:03:54.719 --> 01:03:55.639 Kimberly and Sydney. 1405 01:03:55.760 --> 01:03:58.519 Yeah, Jane is the wife that Michael left for Kimberly. 1406 01:03:59.119 --> 01:04:02.840 Jane is Sydney's sister. Sidney was married to Michael after 1407 01:04:02.840 --> 01:04:06.039 she blackmailed him but accidentally killing Kimberly. Are we all together? 1408 01:04:06.159 --> 01:04:09.880 There will be a test. Sidney tearfully asks if she 1409 01:04:09.920 --> 01:04:12.960 can stay, and Jane says she'd rather set fire to herself. 1410 01:04:13.440 --> 01:04:16.400 Harsh, Love you, Jane, love you, love you to pieces Jane. 1411 01:04:16.840 --> 01:04:20.480 Sidney cries that she's having a nervous breakdown, and Jane says, 1412 01:04:20.840 --> 01:04:23.239 and I wish you would have it someplace else and 1413 01:04:23.280 --> 01:04:24.559 closes the door in her face. 1414 01:04:24.800 --> 01:04:28.239 So good. Yeah, I have to say, I don't remember 1415 01:04:28.320 --> 01:04:30.440 Josie Beset much from this show, and I don't know 1416 01:04:30.480 --> 01:04:32.480 that she worked too much after this, because I don't 1417 01:04:32.519 --> 01:04:35.360 know what I've seen her in. Frank she's really good 1418 01:04:35.480 --> 01:04:37.719 in this episode. She's very little to do, but she's 1419 01:04:37.840 --> 01:04:40.360 very very good, and like, I think she's one of 1420 01:04:40.360 --> 01:04:41.639 the better actors on this show. 1421 01:04:41.960 --> 01:04:44.199 Possibly, I mean this is my only Yeah, Like, she's good. 1422 01:04:44.199 --> 01:04:46.119 In the scene, she has a very very good job 1423 01:04:46.159 --> 01:04:48.039 of being funny, which is the job here. 1424 01:04:48.119 --> 01:04:50.079 Kind of a bitch, but funny, And then yeah, I 1425 01:04:50.119 --> 01:04:54.199 think she's great. We cut to Billionaires I fell asleep, 1426 01:04:54.280 --> 01:04:56.679 were they're debating on where they want to have their reception. 1427 01:04:57.639 --> 01:05:00.320 Allison wants to make a decision before Shela has chance 1428 01:05:00.320 --> 01:05:03.039 and bulldoze them to wherever she wants them to go. Right, 1429 01:05:03.719 --> 01:05:06.920 this conversation is insane. Allison's like, what if we have 1430 01:05:07.000 --> 01:05:09.440 it at like a fancy hotel and Billy's like okay, 1431 01:05:09.800 --> 01:05:11.920 And she's like, well you don't like that, clearly because 1432 01:05:11.920 --> 01:05:13.599 I just said okay, And he's like, I don't know. 1433 01:05:13.639 --> 01:05:15.599 He's like, how about that place where they have chicken 1434 01:05:15.639 --> 01:05:20.679 wings that I like? And I'm like you two should 1435 01:05:20.760 --> 01:05:21.599 not be getting married. 1436 01:05:21.719 --> 01:05:22.119 Yeah. 1437 01:05:22.119 --> 01:05:24.400 There's a knock at the door and it's not Sheila 1438 01:05:24.519 --> 01:05:27.599 the wedding planner, it's Jane. And Jane walks in upset 1439 01:05:27.639 --> 01:05:29.559 and she's like, you know what, I really wish you 1440 01:05:29.599 --> 01:05:31.519 had told me to my face you didn't like the 1441 01:05:31.519 --> 01:05:34.400 wedding dress before you had that woman fire me. Yeah, 1442 01:05:34.440 --> 01:05:37.400 and Allison's like, I never had anyone fire you, and 1443 01:05:37.440 --> 01:05:40.400 I fully plan on wearing your dress, So what the 1444 01:05:40.440 --> 01:05:43.199 hell's going on? And then right on cue, Sheila appears 1445 01:05:43.679 --> 01:05:46.880 and she's like, oh good, we're all still friends even 1446 01:05:46.920 --> 01:05:51.199 though this didn't work out right, and Allison's like, fuck you, you're fired. 1447 01:05:51.239 --> 01:05:52.119 Get out of my house. 1448 01:05:52.320 --> 01:05:53.760 By the way, Jane, I was thinking, do you do 1449 01:05:53.800 --> 01:05:56.039 table clothes at all? What bitch? 1450 01:05:56.679 --> 01:06:00.480 What a bitch? The wedding planner snaps that she's billing 1451 01:06:00.519 --> 01:06:03.400 Alison's father for everything, and then they won't have enough 1452 01:06:03.480 --> 01:06:06.119 money to get married in a bus station. What are 1453 01:06:06.159 --> 01:06:08.519 you billing them for? Yeah, nothing has happened. You've worked 1454 01:06:08.519 --> 01:06:10.519 with them for twenty four hours unless you charge two 1455 01:06:10.559 --> 01:06:11.880 hundred thousand dollars an hour. 1456 01:06:12.079 --> 01:06:14.639 We cut to Amanda and Jake and they are having 1457 01:06:14.639 --> 01:06:16.880 dinner with Hillary and her boyfriend Chaz. 1458 01:06:17.000 --> 01:06:20.000 Okay, so Amanda turned around on this right quick. 1459 01:06:20.119 --> 01:06:22.760 Yep. Jake got through to her. He said, you can't 1460 01:06:22.760 --> 01:06:23.400 pick your parents. 1461 01:06:23.400 --> 01:06:26.199 He took his shirt off, and she was like, Okay, she's. 1462 01:06:26.039 --> 01:06:29.079 The only mother you'll ever have. So Hillary tries to 1463 01:06:29.079 --> 01:06:32.320 make overtures towards peace with her daughter while Chaz attempts 1464 01:06:32.360 --> 01:06:35.760 to play foot seats with Amanda under the table. Amanda 1465 01:06:35.800 --> 01:06:37.840 tells her mother to keep a leash on her boyfriend, 1466 01:06:38.119 --> 01:06:39.800 but does agree to stay at dinner. So this is 1467 01:06:39.880 --> 01:06:41.760 just set up for wherever this is going. 1468 01:06:41.920 --> 01:06:43.760 I do love this scene because Aman is like, put 1469 01:06:43.760 --> 01:06:46.320 a leisha on Chaz, and then Linda Gray says he 1470 01:06:46.400 --> 01:06:48.760 won't speak for the rest of dinner, and the actor 1471 01:06:48.800 --> 01:06:50.800 who plays Chaz just has to sit there and take it. 1472 01:06:50.840 --> 01:06:52.760 I'm like, this is one. 1473 01:06:53.159 --> 01:06:53.880 This is interesting. 1474 01:06:53.960 --> 01:06:55.679 I want all of this. Give me more of this. 1475 01:06:56.360 --> 01:06:58.880 Back at the Beach House, Michael and Kimberly have I 1476 01:06:58.920 --> 01:06:59.960 can't believe you're not dead. 1477 01:07:00.440 --> 01:07:02.840 If you're wondering what that's like, it involves satin sheets 1478 01:07:02.880 --> 01:07:04.119 and a lot of soft lighting, A. 1479 01:07:04.039 --> 01:07:05.679 Lot of soft lighting, satin sheets and. 1480 01:07:06.440 --> 01:07:08.880 Cowgirl, cowgirl, and there's a lot of that hair had 1481 01:07:08.880 --> 01:07:10.800 a cowgirl a lot of having to like kind of 1482 01:07:10.800 --> 01:07:12.559 take your hair and take it from one side of 1483 01:07:12.559 --> 01:07:14.039 your head and brush it all the way over the 1484 01:07:14.119 --> 01:07:14.920 other side of your head. 1485 01:07:15.239 --> 01:07:17.800 The Okay, I think most people who are listening to 1486 01:07:17.840 --> 01:07:19.960 this know what episode we're talking about. Yeah, I'm gonna 1487 01:07:19.960 --> 01:07:23.239 spoil something slightly real quick. No, you know what. I 1488 01:07:23.239 --> 01:07:25.000 won't spoil anything because those of you who don't know, 1489 01:07:25.039 --> 01:07:27.599 I don't want to spoil it. I'm just gonna tell you. 1490 01:07:27.679 --> 01:07:31.320 There is Chekhov's hair pulling happening throughout the episode, where 1491 01:07:31.440 --> 01:07:35.559 Marcia Cross continuously like like takes her hands and rubs 1492 01:07:35.599 --> 01:07:38.800 them like vigorously through her hair. Yeah, and in this 1493 01:07:38.960 --> 01:07:42.159 sex scene she's like doing it back and forth like 1494 01:07:42.280 --> 01:07:46.599 she thinks it's a sexy maneuver. I don't know exactly why, 1495 01:07:46.719 --> 01:07:50.960 except to show the audience that that hair is definitely 1496 01:07:51.000 --> 01:07:54.159 her hair and definitely plant it on her head in 1497 01:07:54.239 --> 01:07:58.880 a very straightforward and it doesn't make any sense. No 1498 01:07:58.920 --> 01:08:01.599 one does anything like this, No one fucks like this, 1499 01:08:01.679 --> 01:08:04.519 no one eats like this one, no one becomes a 1500 01:08:04.559 --> 01:08:09.239 doctor like this. So they're having sex, she's she's rubbing 1501 01:08:09.280 --> 01:08:12.039 her hair way too much. I founder Michael, I'd be like, 1502 01:08:12.079 --> 01:08:14.519 do you have lice? Yeah, what's happening with your head? 1503 01:08:14.920 --> 01:08:17.359 Do I have to get Light's shampoo? Look, the sex 1504 01:08:17.439 --> 01:08:18.840 is worth it. I'll get the light shampoo. 1505 01:08:19.079 --> 01:08:19.680 I'm fine with it. 1506 01:08:19.800 --> 01:08:23.600 I'm fine with it. Afterwards, after the sex, Kimberly excuses 1507 01:08:23.600 --> 01:08:25.840 herself to the bathroom to take more of her pills 1508 01:08:25.880 --> 01:08:28.560 for her headache. Oh, the pills don't seem to help. 1509 01:08:28.600 --> 01:08:32.960 She keeps rubbing her temples and she's she's grimacing in pain, 1510 01:08:33.520 --> 01:08:36.960 and she continues to make quiet exclamations and and clutch 1511 01:08:36.960 --> 01:08:40.439 her head. And then suddenly she she does another thing 1512 01:08:40.479 --> 01:08:42.159 with her hand where she's like, looks like she's just 1513 01:08:42.199 --> 01:08:44.239 rubbing her hands through her hair and like moving her 1514 01:08:44.239 --> 01:08:47.560 hair to the side. But no, because if you look carefully, suddenly, 1515 01:08:48.239 --> 01:08:50.600 all of a sudden, Marsia Cross has a lace front 1516 01:08:50.800 --> 01:08:54.600 that was not clear in the whole rest of the episode, 1517 01:08:55.079 --> 01:08:57.960 but suddenly you're like, I fucking know, ah, lace front 1518 01:08:57.960 --> 01:09:00.039 when I see one. I have watched a lot of 1519 01:09:00.119 --> 01:09:03.399 RuPaul's drag race. She has a late front and she 1520 01:09:04.399 --> 01:09:09.239 rips off her hair. Guys, it was a wig. It 1521 01:09:09.319 --> 01:09:13.279 was a wig. This whole time exposing her nearly bald head. 1522 01:09:13.880 --> 01:09:17.079 She's got like scraggly bits of hair bling back and 1523 01:09:17.159 --> 01:09:23.520 a vicious, curving scar running from her temples across her earline. 1524 01:09:23.640 --> 01:09:26.920 Yeah it is gnarly. Yeah, the makeup person did an 1525 01:09:26.960 --> 01:09:32.000 amazing job. We fade out on kimberly staring at herself 1526 01:09:32.359 --> 01:09:33.119 in the mirror. 1527 01:09:34.840 --> 01:09:38.279 End of show, end of episode. I mean, look made 1528 01:09:38.279 --> 01:09:39.960 me want to hit play on the next one. I'll 1529 01:09:39.960 --> 01:09:40.399 give it that. 1530 01:09:40.479 --> 01:09:43.119 I'll give it that. Yeah, this was a seminal moment 1531 01:09:43.199 --> 01:09:46.600 in Melro's Place. People who watched Melroe's Place remember where 1532 01:09:46.640 --> 01:09:50.960 they were the night they saw the rip wig. In retrospect, 1533 01:09:51.199 --> 01:09:53.680 it's not that crazy, Like, yeah, the woman was in 1534 01:09:53.720 --> 01:09:56.039 a car accident. Yeah, she's gonna have a vicious scar 1535 01:09:56.119 --> 01:09:58.359 across her head. I don't know why it seemed. I 1536 01:09:58.359 --> 01:10:00.800 guess because it was shocking. It was surprised. I don't 1537 01:10:00.800 --> 01:10:04.000 know why in real time I was. I remember being like, 1538 01:10:04.039 --> 01:10:08.079 oh my god, as though it was a bigger reveal 1539 01:10:08.119 --> 01:10:09.039 than it actually is. 1540 01:10:09.319 --> 01:10:11.319 I wonder if it's something to do with with the 1541 01:10:11.399 --> 01:10:14.319 actress appearing unattractive. 1542 01:10:14.039 --> 01:10:17.560 Perhaps something, But like plot wise, you would think the 1543 01:10:17.560 --> 01:10:20.000 the reaction would you would think the reveal was like, 1544 01:10:20.039 --> 01:10:22.880 that's not Kimberly, it's her evil twin or you know, 1545 01:10:23.039 --> 01:10:25.800 like or like that's not Kimberly, it's it's Dug's event, 1546 01:10:26.239 --> 01:10:26.680 you know what I. 1547 01:10:26.640 --> 01:10:28.600 Mean, Like, oh my god, what if they had done 1548 01:10:29.000 --> 01:10:31.800 so he pulled off? It was Matt Matt Fielding. 1549 01:10:31.880 --> 01:10:35.000 It was Matt Fielding, and like in like emission impossible, 1550 01:10:35.239 --> 01:10:40.239 like mask, Like that's the amount of reaction. I remember 1551 01:10:40.479 --> 01:10:46.079 this getting of people gasping, and in retrospect, I'm shocked. 1552 01:10:46.119 --> 01:10:49.119 That's her only scar, Like she doesn't have like a like. 1553 01:10:49.159 --> 01:10:50.319 Her face is pristine. 1554 01:10:50.359 --> 01:10:52.279 Her face is pristine. Her body we've seen a lot 1555 01:10:52.279 --> 01:10:55.000 of her torso in that sex scene looks fine. Like 1556 01:10:55.319 --> 01:10:58.319 she doesn't have like jagged scars all over her body. 1557 01:10:58.920 --> 01:11:00.880 So anyway, I just want to point that out because 1558 01:11:01.359 --> 01:11:04.680 when you rewatch this episode, you're like, oh well, yeah, 1559 01:11:04.720 --> 01:11:05.800 oh yeah, of course. 1560 01:11:05.640 --> 01:11:08.800 Of course. Yeah. All right, So that is the end 1561 01:11:08.840 --> 01:11:12.199 of the bitches. Back stick around. We'll be right back 1562 01:11:12.239 --> 01:11:15.159 after these commercials to give you our random observations and 1563 01:11:15.239 --> 01:11:16.039 final rankings. 1564 01:11:25.319 --> 01:11:30.279 And we're back. Paul, give me some random sexy observations 1565 01:11:30.319 --> 01:11:32.000 about Melrose Place betray me. 1566 01:11:32.119 --> 01:11:34.319 My first one is so you know, there's a downpour 1567 01:11:34.359 --> 01:11:37.239 in La on that first night, it's a downpour. Andrew 1568 01:11:37.279 --> 01:11:40.840 shoe Billy gets home from work. He runs in, he 1569 01:11:40.880 --> 01:11:43.680 takes his umbrella and just throws his umbrella on the 1570 01:11:43.720 --> 01:11:48.840 living room floor. A right, and I'm like, leave it outside. 1571 01:11:49.000 --> 01:11:50.720 What are you doing, buddy, what are you doing? Like? 1572 01:11:51.600 --> 01:11:53.760 Close it outside, shake it off and bring it to 1573 01:11:53.800 --> 01:11:55.840 the bathroom. Don't throw it on the carpet. 1574 01:11:56.479 --> 01:11:59.319 That's like a director's fault. Like even if the actor 1575 01:11:59.520 --> 01:12:02.439 is too too dumb to know to do that, Like 1576 01:12:02.479 --> 01:12:04.359 the director should be like, well, why don't you fold 1577 01:12:04.439 --> 01:12:06.239 it and just put it next to the door. It's 1578 01:12:06.279 --> 01:12:08.079 not what normal people would do, but at least it's 1579 01:12:08.079 --> 01:12:11.560 the closer to what normal people would do. He threw 1580 01:12:11.600 --> 01:12:13.960 it on the carpet, open, right, it was still open. 1581 01:12:14.239 --> 01:12:14.439 Yeah. 1582 01:12:18.199 --> 01:12:20.760 There was one line that had me cackling. And it's 1583 01:12:20.840 --> 01:12:24.640 Kimberly and I think it's when Michael first sees her 1584 01:12:25.199 --> 01:12:28.680 and she goes, rumors of my death, as they say, 1585 01:12:29.520 --> 01:12:33.880 was premature. That's not the saying. That's not saying, you guys. 1586 01:12:35.199 --> 01:12:38.439 She said it was such confidence. Rumors of my death, 1587 01:12:39.000 --> 01:12:42.680 as they say, was premature. That's not that's a this 1588 01:12:42.840 --> 01:12:45.560 bad grammar. B. That's not the saying. 1589 01:12:47.079 --> 01:12:47.439 I didn't. 1590 01:12:48.199 --> 01:12:51.159 Why are you saying it like that, you fucking weirdo? 1591 01:12:51.279 --> 01:12:53.439 Is that one of the things you've forgotten during your coma? 1592 01:12:54.079 --> 01:12:56.119 Is this very common expression? 1593 01:12:57.680 --> 01:13:00.079 They were greatly exaggerated, I think is the words you're look. 1594 01:13:00.199 --> 01:13:05.119 This very famous expression in American pop culture. Rumors of 1595 01:13:05.159 --> 01:13:10.279 my death, as they say, was premature. They let her 1596 01:13:10.399 --> 01:13:13.880 be a doctor, They let her doctor people. The next day. 1597 01:13:14.000 --> 01:13:16.560 They made it pretty clear that she is the most 1598 01:13:16.560 --> 01:13:18.239 intelligent person on this show. 1599 01:13:18.680 --> 01:13:22.199 Yeah, she's under heavy sedation on whatever drug that is 1600 01:13:22.239 --> 01:13:25.000 she is on. She does not understand words anymore. And 1601 01:13:25.079 --> 01:13:27.000 yet she's like, let me fix that bone for you. 1602 01:13:27.279 --> 01:13:30.319 Yeah, okay, So Josie Bissett doesn't have a lot to 1603 01:13:30.319 --> 01:13:32.920 do in this episode. Her first scene, and we've already 1604 01:13:32.960 --> 01:13:34.600 made fun of the outfits that are putting around, particularly 1605 01:13:34.640 --> 01:13:37.359 for someone who's a fashion designer. Great her first scene, 1606 01:13:37.359 --> 01:13:39.600 sitting knocks on the door, She opens the door, and 1607 01:13:39.680 --> 01:13:41.319 I couldn't tell you what she was wearing because I'm 1608 01:13:41.359 --> 01:13:44.359 so distracted by her hair because she has this short 1609 01:13:44.399 --> 01:13:47.239 bob right it's like right at her chin line, and 1610 01:13:47.319 --> 01:13:51.159 it appears like, either either this was a look in 1611 01:13:51.159 --> 01:13:52.640 the nineties and I don't remember it was a look 1612 01:13:52.640 --> 01:13:55.159 in the nineties, I'll tell you right now, or the 1613 01:13:55.199 --> 01:13:57.159 person she only had time to get half her hair 1614 01:13:57.199 --> 01:14:00.000 done because the right side of her head is fully 1615 01:14:00.199 --> 01:14:03.560 youmized on her on her hair, and the left side 1616 01:14:03.600 --> 01:14:06.720 of her head is flat to the side of her head. 1617 01:14:06.800 --> 01:14:08.000 Oh, I don't remember that. 1618 01:14:08.279 --> 01:14:09.760 Yeah, it's weird. 1619 01:14:09.920 --> 01:14:12.760 I did not notice that. To me. She has the 1620 01:14:12.800 --> 01:14:14.439 Bridget Fonda haircut. 1621 01:14:15.000 --> 01:14:17.279 See what if the two sides of her head agreed 1622 01:14:17.319 --> 01:14:17.840 with each other. 1623 01:14:18.159 --> 01:14:20.039 I do not remember. Okay, I believe you, but I 1624 01:14:20.560 --> 01:14:22.880 think that's like just a mistake. They're just like quick, Josie, 1625 01:14:22.920 --> 01:14:25.079 get on sets, like I'm not done, and they're like, 1626 01:14:25.079 --> 01:14:27.239 we don't have time. We're losing We're losing the lights. 1627 01:14:27.279 --> 01:14:29.720 We're losing the light's like, it's a set, what are 1628 01:14:29.760 --> 01:14:32.199 you talking about? 1629 01:14:32.600 --> 01:14:34.079 What if it's not a set? What if they just 1630 01:14:34.159 --> 01:14:36.960 wandered into an apartment complex during the day and as 1631 01:14:37.000 --> 01:14:39.159 people are coming home, they're like, shit, we gotta go home. 1632 01:14:39.880 --> 01:14:41.479 Is my apartment complex? Melrose? 1633 01:14:41.520 --> 01:14:41.800 Please? 1634 01:14:41.960 --> 01:14:45.680 Maybe I just have one more And it's when Alison 1635 01:14:45.800 --> 01:14:49.760 is asking Amanda, Alison and Amanda work together Alison. Amanda 1636 01:14:49.840 --> 01:14:53.199 is Alison's boss on the show. Heather Locklear is in 1637 01:14:53.319 --> 01:14:56.479 full bitch mode the entire episode. She starts at at ten, 1638 01:14:56.840 --> 01:14:59.359 she ends it at nine, like she does not really 1639 01:14:59.399 --> 01:15:02.279 climb down from bitch mode the whole episode. It is wonderful, 1640 01:15:02.720 --> 01:15:05.279 and so Allison's like, Hey, Amanda, can I have two 1641 01:15:05.319 --> 01:15:08.000 days off to plan my wedding? I literally have to 1642 01:15:08.199 --> 01:15:10.960 have everything planned in the next forty eight hours to 1643 01:15:11.039 --> 01:15:16.039 hit some random deadline that does not exist. She's so meaner. 1644 01:15:16.119 --> 01:15:18.560 She's like no. He's like, well, can I can I 1645 01:15:18.640 --> 01:15:21.039 just get one day off? One day? Please? Please? 1646 01:15:21.079 --> 01:15:21.199 Sir? 1647 01:15:21.359 --> 01:15:23.239 Like she's holding a cup of gruel in her hands, 1648 01:15:23.479 --> 01:15:25.359 you can I have some more? I just I just 1649 01:15:25.399 --> 01:15:27.439 need to plan my wedding. Can I can I not 1650 01:15:27.560 --> 01:15:30.960 come to work tomorrow? I know I'm crucial to everything 1651 01:15:31.000 --> 01:15:34.000 this company does, but I need I need forty eight 1652 01:15:34.079 --> 01:15:38.800 hours to plan my life. And Amanda goes, Ugh, it's 1653 01:15:38.920 --> 01:15:43.279 one day off or nothing, It's all you get. What 1654 01:15:43.439 --> 01:15:45.880 is this company's policy on paid time off? Do they 1655 01:15:45.880 --> 01:15:47.399 not have it? Does she not have a two week 1656 01:15:47.479 --> 01:15:49.520 vacation she could take at some point during the year. 1657 01:15:49.439 --> 01:15:50.560 Either has days or she doesn't. 1658 01:15:50.600 --> 01:15:53.359 She either says her she doesn't. Is this indentured servitude? 1659 01:15:53.359 --> 01:15:55.520 Did I miss a plot line? What is happening? 1660 01:15:55.640 --> 01:15:57.720 She also makes it some comment about like you don't 1661 01:15:57.760 --> 01:16:00.000 really have a lot left after all your relation, your relationship, 1662 01:16:00.079 --> 01:16:01.399 chip drama or something like that. 1663 01:16:01.600 --> 01:16:04.239 I'm like, wait, wasn't she assaulted? Like like it was? 1664 01:16:04.279 --> 01:16:06.560 Didn't someone murder himself in front of her? I think 1665 01:16:06.680 --> 01:16:09.720 you can have a little time off for that something. 1666 01:16:10.239 --> 01:16:11.680 I only have one more. I'm going to do this 1667 01:16:11.680 --> 01:16:13.399 one in the form of a question for you. Okay, 1668 01:16:14.119 --> 01:16:17.079 doctor Kimberly Shaw, Marsha Cross, our favorite characters. 1669 01:16:17.119 --> 01:16:21.399 Rumors of her death, as they say, are somewhat rumored 1670 01:16:21.720 --> 01:16:24.279 to not be rumored, right, Yeah. 1671 01:16:23.960 --> 01:16:28.199 Everything we know about this woman. What drink do you 1672 01:16:28.239 --> 01:16:31.680 think she's drinking at the restaurant with Michael. 1673 01:16:32.000 --> 01:16:34.720 Ooh fuck me. I only I remember his drink. I 1674 01:16:34.720 --> 01:16:38.000 don't remember hers. Yeah, I'm gonna go with Pina Colada. 1675 01:16:38.119 --> 01:16:41.279 Okay, closer than I expected, because I would have said, 1676 01:16:41.560 --> 01:16:42.479 like Martine, why. 1677 01:16:42.560 --> 01:16:45.520 I would have said wine, honestly, Martini, had I not 1678 01:16:45.600 --> 01:16:46.600 known this show, I was watching. 1679 01:16:46.680 --> 01:16:51.079 Maybe a margarita. Nope, it's an orange slushy. What she 1680 01:16:51.239 --> 01:16:55.760 is drinking an orange frozen drink out of a straw 1681 01:16:56.159 --> 01:16:58.479 from like one of those like, like it almost looks 1682 01:16:58.479 --> 01:17:04.000 like a milkshake container. It's so weird. It's like, why 1683 01:17:04.159 --> 01:17:05.720 was it just have for drink water? 1684 01:17:06.199 --> 01:17:08.600 Just have a drink a glass of white wine? What 1685 01:17:08.680 --> 01:17:12.199 are you doing? Like also like she's her whole thing 1686 01:17:12.199 --> 01:17:13.600 is she has a headache. I don't think she should 1687 01:17:13.600 --> 01:17:16.560 be drinking frozen drinks, not at all. They famously will 1688 01:17:16.560 --> 01:17:18.920 give you headache. Yes, there's a whole thing about it. 1689 01:17:19.000 --> 01:17:20.399 Oh my god, I have to go back and look 1690 01:17:20.439 --> 01:17:23.239 at it. I missed it. Well, his drink, I remember, 1691 01:17:23.560 --> 01:17:26.720 was also in like a fucking milkshake glass. 1692 01:17:26.760 --> 01:17:28.600 It's like a tropical They must be in some kind 1693 01:17:28.600 --> 01:17:29.640 of tropical theme that. 1694 01:17:29.600 --> 01:17:33.920 You can't they weren't, but they weren't. The restaurant was basic, normal, 1695 01:17:34.159 --> 01:17:37.800 average nothing restaurant. This is a place that serves steak 1696 01:17:38.000 --> 01:17:40.479 and bad pasta. Yeah, that's what this place does. Like 1697 01:17:40.920 --> 01:17:45.199 why are they both drinking fucking my ties at this restaurant? Paul? 1698 01:17:45.560 --> 01:17:48.720 How are we gonna rank this episode of Melrose Place? 1699 01:17:49.000 --> 01:17:51.960 Uh? One to ten fun facts about Andrew Shoe. 1700 01:17:51.640 --> 01:17:53.720 Did you know he was born in Wilmington, Delaware. Fuck, 1701 01:17:53.960 --> 01:17:55.199 I don't know where my keys are now. 1702 01:17:56.439 --> 01:17:58.439 It keeps crowding out other facts in your brain. 1703 01:17:58.520 --> 01:17:59.960 Yeah, and I'm like, hang on, hang on, hang on. 1704 01:18:00.079 --> 01:18:04.560 My mother's birthday is Andrew Shoe played soccer in Zimbabwe? 1705 01:18:04.680 --> 01:18:04.920 Fuck? 1706 01:18:07.840 --> 01:18:10.199 He did? He played soccer in Zimbabwe. I know that now. 1707 01:18:10.319 --> 01:18:13.520 I just know that it. Yeah, you know what it is. 1708 01:18:13.560 --> 01:18:16.399 It's not that I'm remembering things about Andrew Shoes. Somehow 1709 01:18:16.439 --> 01:18:18.520 they're coming in. They're coming in hot. 1710 01:18:18.640 --> 01:18:20.439 It's like he has like a direct line to your brain. 1711 01:18:20.520 --> 01:18:23.640 He heard me speaking about him from the ether. How 1712 01:18:23.640 --> 01:18:26.439 about one to ten things you can marinate, Paul? Can 1713 01:18:26.439 --> 01:18:27.439 you marinate a wrench? 1714 01:18:27.960 --> 01:18:28.720 You could? 1715 01:18:28.520 --> 01:18:30.159 Can you marinate a cat? 1716 01:18:30.840 --> 01:18:31.920 I would not recommend that. 1717 01:18:32.079 --> 01:18:34.199 Okay, they'll get very upset. He crossed that one off 1718 01:18:34.239 --> 01:18:37.000 the list. I'm really glad. I asked first, ye, Fluffy, 1719 01:18:37.079 --> 01:18:37.560 get out of. 1720 01:18:37.479 --> 01:18:40.439 The pot, Get out of the tupperware fluffers. 1721 01:18:40.600 --> 01:18:42.359 Get out of the tupperware fluffers. That's not for you. 1722 01:18:42.439 --> 01:18:45.199 Don't track the vinegar on the counter being marinated. I 1723 01:18:45.239 --> 01:18:46.600 don't know what your problem is. 1724 01:18:47.800 --> 01:18:50.039 What t Grant show shows, show shows. 1725 01:18:50.159 --> 01:18:52.279 I love watching a Grant show. Show me too, I 1726 01:18:52.319 --> 01:18:59.399 go to Thailand to watch the shows one to ten 1727 01:18:59.600 --> 01:19:02.279 wig rips, Yeah, iconic. 1728 01:19:02.199 --> 01:19:06.880 Iconic rips. I mean, honestly, why hasn't a we come 1729 01:19:06.920 --> 01:19:09.199 off on RuPaul's drag race to reveal this makeup job? 1730 01:19:09.359 --> 01:19:11.239 Oh my god, that would be incredible. 1731 01:19:11.319 --> 01:19:12.079 What should happen? 1732 01:19:12.199 --> 01:19:15.640 That's really what should happen? That that queen would fucking 1733 01:19:15.720 --> 01:19:16.600 rule that episode? 1734 01:19:16.760 --> 01:19:19.279 Uh huh exactly if they can, if they know the 1735 01:19:19.319 --> 01:19:21.520 song and it's like, you know, you drive me crazy 1736 01:19:21.600 --> 01:19:25.159 or something like that. Yeah, you're welcome, You're. 1737 01:19:25.079 --> 01:19:28.399 Well, Chavalore. Why haven't you done this? This is right 1738 01:19:28.520 --> 01:19:29.520 up your fucking Allexy. 1739 01:19:29.520 --> 01:19:30.159 You should know this. 1740 01:19:30.279 --> 01:19:32.039 You ruined my life, Slasha Valor. 1741 01:19:31.920 --> 01:19:35.680 Teach the children? All right, do you want to go first? 1742 01:19:35.760 --> 01:19:36.680 Or shall I go first? 1743 01:19:36.840 --> 01:19:39.159 You can go first on this one? How to rank 1744 01:19:39.199 --> 01:19:39.960 this nonsense? 1745 01:19:40.119 --> 01:19:43.520 Right, Well, let's let's just go back to the rubric. 1746 01:19:44.199 --> 01:19:47.520 Good female roles like an equal equal distribution of male 1747 01:19:47.560 --> 01:19:50.319 female roles, if not, if not weighted towards female, I. 1748 01:19:50.239 --> 01:19:51.680 Would say, and the women are more interesting. 1749 01:19:51.840 --> 01:19:55.239 That's way more interesting. Marsha Across rules this episode. 1750 01:19:55.319 --> 01:19:56.600 Like an iron fish, like. 1751 01:19:56.520 --> 01:20:03.000 An empress, like so everything he does, So that's great, 1752 01:20:03.680 --> 01:20:06.479 there's no diversity. There's no racial diversity. 1753 01:20:06.640 --> 01:20:07.760 Oh they have an Italian. 1754 01:20:08.000 --> 01:20:12.359 They have an Italian and the detective is black. Oh right, right, yeah, 1755 01:20:12.399 --> 01:20:17.239 so that's the detective who interrogates his his his Italian. 1756 01:20:17.680 --> 01:20:22.000 Who is the Italian? Oh no, that's bad, Christoph, Christopher, 1757 01:20:22.079 --> 01:20:23.640 stop killing girls, Christopher. 1758 01:20:24.920 --> 01:20:27.359 So I mean, with all of these people, you think 1759 01:20:27.359 --> 01:20:29.800 they could have squeezed one person of color into the cast. 1760 01:20:29.840 --> 01:20:31.680 There was a black woman in the first season, played 1761 01:20:31.680 --> 01:20:34.560 by Vanessa Williams, but not that Vanessa Williams, the Vanessa 1762 01:20:34.560 --> 01:20:35.960 Williams you don't think of when you hear the name 1763 01:20:36.000 --> 01:20:39.239 Vanessa Williams. But she was written out in the first season. 1764 01:20:39.640 --> 01:20:41.279 And I did that thing where you just go on 1765 01:20:41.279 --> 01:20:43.239 IMDb and scroll down to see when I can find 1766 01:20:43.239 --> 01:20:46.640 a person of color. She's the first person listed. So 1767 01:20:47.079 --> 01:20:49.800 I don't believe they had another series regular of color 1768 01:20:49.880 --> 01:20:53.279 for the next six years. WHOA, Yeah, not great. 1769 01:20:53.439 --> 01:20:55.560 You know what, though, Paul, there's so little diversity in 1770 01:20:55.600 --> 01:20:56.199 Los Angeles. 1771 01:20:56.279 --> 01:20:56.800 That's true. 1772 01:20:56.880 --> 01:20:59.680 It's like they don't have anything but white people in 1773 01:20:59.720 --> 01:21:01.039 last You're right, you're right. 1774 01:21:01.079 --> 01:21:05.039 Famously famously famously h And then we have the gay 1775 01:21:05.159 --> 01:21:07.840 character Matt Fielding he has nothing to do in this episode, 1776 01:21:07.840 --> 01:21:10.720 but he also famously had nothing to do in any episode. 1777 01:21:10.319 --> 01:21:12.479 Like he must at some point get a love interest. 1778 01:21:12.600 --> 01:21:14.600 I get he gets love interests, but I mean, I 1779 01:21:14.920 --> 01:21:17.199 know this is not the producer's fault. Like they wanted 1780 01:21:17.239 --> 01:21:19.560 to show him kissing somebody and like the network wouldn't 1781 01:21:19.560 --> 01:21:22.279 allow it. Right, that kind of stuff happened. They did 1782 01:21:22.359 --> 01:21:25.680 eventually like write the character off and then brought him 1783 01:21:25.720 --> 01:21:28.560 back to kill him in a car accident, which I'm like, okay, 1784 01:21:28.760 --> 01:21:31.319 you got we have to kill our gaze this much 1785 01:21:31.399 --> 01:21:33.319 like we've already written him off the show. Dug Savant 1786 01:21:33.359 --> 01:21:35.840 is already not collecting his paycheck. Like, give me a break. 1787 01:21:35.880 --> 01:21:38.520 I didn't watch Desperate Housewives. It's a big miss on 1788 01:21:38.560 --> 01:21:41.319 my part. In terms of nighttime Soaks, did he play 1789 01:21:41.319 --> 01:21:42.399 Marsha Cross's husband? 1790 01:21:42.399 --> 01:21:49.279 On played Lynnette? He played the felon. Oh, Huffman, That's 1791 01:21:49.399 --> 01:21:50.800 literally the only thing I can think of. 1792 01:21:51.119 --> 01:21:54.159 So mean, that's so mean. She's an Academy Award winner. 1793 01:21:54.239 --> 01:21:55.479 Ball No, she did not win. 1794 01:21:55.680 --> 01:21:56.319 Oh she didn't win. 1795 01:21:57.600 --> 01:21:59.479 I should say she's done her time, she has paid 1796 01:21:59.479 --> 01:22:03.439 her debt, and I honestly think she's fine. 1797 01:22:04.199 --> 01:22:06.439 It's fine, yeah, because he I do remember he was 1798 01:22:06.479 --> 01:22:08.720 on Desperate Housewives and hopefully he got a lot more 1799 01:22:08.760 --> 01:22:08.920 to do. 1800 01:22:09.399 --> 01:22:11.840 Yeah, he had. He was on Desperate Housewives for all 1801 01:22:12.199 --> 01:22:14.439 twelve seasons or whatever that one ran. Okay, good, Desperate 1802 01:22:14.439 --> 01:22:17.479 Housewives is fun. I wish we had just spoiler alert, 1803 01:22:17.520 --> 01:22:19.119 we're not going to get to Desperate Housewives this month, 1804 01:22:19.119 --> 01:22:21.159 and I wish, I wish we had time for it. 1805 01:22:21.359 --> 01:22:24.000 Honestly, the only problem with Desperate Housewives is it's too good. 1806 01:22:24.199 --> 01:22:25.640 I don't know what there is to talk about because 1807 01:22:25.680 --> 01:22:26.359 it's a comedy. 1808 01:22:26.479 --> 01:22:28.560 It's a comedy. But believe me, we would have. 1809 01:22:28.479 --> 01:22:30.479 A good time because no I get it. But like 1810 01:22:30.520 --> 01:22:32.840 this show. The reason why this is so great is 1811 01:22:32.840 --> 01:22:35.000 because it takes itself so seriously. 1812 01:22:38.279 --> 01:22:42.760 So I think the show literally but simply by including 1813 01:22:42.800 --> 01:22:46.560 a gay character in nineteen ninety two, was fighting the 1814 01:22:46.600 --> 01:22:50.239 good fight on that front, and to our eyes today 1815 01:22:50.319 --> 01:22:53.479 it is laughable. And he is. He is sexless. He 1816 01:22:53.560 --> 01:22:57.159 never gets main storylines. He's there, like, at best for 1817 01:22:57.239 --> 01:22:59.399 comic relief, if not to like fix all the straight people. 1818 01:22:59.520 --> 01:23:02.159 If there is a little something to be said for 1819 01:23:02.239 --> 01:23:03.920 and tell me if I'm wrong. The fact though, that 1820 01:23:04.000 --> 01:23:08.079 he is a like just like a boring guy. Like, 1821 01:23:08.359 --> 01:23:11.760 is that in a way somewhat progressive that he's not like, Hi, 1822 01:23:12.039 --> 01:23:12.880 I'm the guy. 1823 01:23:13.199 --> 01:23:14.840 Oh, so he's not a clown. 1824 01:23:14.920 --> 01:23:17.479 He's not a clown, he's not Jack, I'm Will and Grace. 1825 01:23:17.760 --> 01:23:20.600 He's just like a guy who works at the hospital, 1826 01:23:20.880 --> 01:23:22.399 and that's all there is to him. 1827 01:23:22.640 --> 01:23:25.720 But I think that's no because because those are the 1828 01:23:25.720 --> 01:23:28.039 two things that you could either be the clown or 1829 01:23:28.039 --> 01:23:30.960 the normal guy. Yeah, the normal to bad word, the 1830 01:23:30.960 --> 01:23:34.279 stereotypical like hetero, boring guy, boring, the path the guy 1831 01:23:34.279 --> 01:23:36.119 who's passing, yeah, even though he's gay. 1832 01:23:36.279 --> 01:23:39.479 Well, because I I think I think I'm retconning this right. 1833 01:23:39.520 --> 01:23:42.600 I don't think it's actually progressive. But I wonder if 1834 01:23:42.640 --> 01:23:46.800 the like there were like gay kids perhaps who are like, yeah, 1835 01:23:47.239 --> 01:23:48.800 i think I'm gonna be that guy. I think I'm 1836 01:23:48.800 --> 01:23:50.439 going to work in a hospital and wear a tie 1837 01:23:50.520 --> 01:23:53.520 and yeah and be super boring. 1838 01:23:53.920 --> 01:23:57.560 Look in nineteen ninety two, I think any representation was precious, 1839 01:23:58.039 --> 01:24:01.760 like truly, so like for the again, I'm not really 1840 01:24:01.760 --> 01:24:03.840 gonna I'm not gonna ding the show too hard. Also 1841 01:24:03.840 --> 01:24:06.239 because I know based on stories that it wasn't the 1842 01:24:06.319 --> 01:24:09.600 creative people's choices as to why this guy was being 1843 01:24:09.680 --> 01:24:13.680 so sidelined. It was the suits and the executives show innocent. 1844 01:24:13.840 --> 01:24:16.000 But as far as aging well, does not age well. 1845 01:24:16.479 --> 01:24:18.159 He is one of the two tropes. It's not just 1846 01:24:18.199 --> 01:24:20.399 the clown, it's the clown or the sexless one. He 1847 01:24:20.479 --> 01:24:23.479 is the sexless trope. Okay, right, So, like what we're 1848 01:24:23.479 --> 01:24:27.239 looking for is someone interesting, which he does not accomplish 1849 01:24:27.399 --> 01:24:29.479 through no fault of his. So I don't think it 1850 01:24:29.560 --> 01:24:33.159 ages that well by the rubric. I do think grading 1851 01:24:33.159 --> 01:24:37.960 on a curve, because it is a ludicrous on every level, 1852 01:24:38.319 --> 01:24:41.680 I think is somewhat somewhat allowable. I'm not going to 1853 01:24:41.760 --> 01:24:45.159 come down super hard on it. It's nothing's offensive, it's 1854 01:24:45.159 --> 01:24:47.920 sins of omission, and it's insane, and it's kind of 1855 01:24:47.960 --> 01:24:50.880 it's an escape. It's an escape to watch something crazy 1856 01:24:50.880 --> 01:24:54.119 going on on TV with some really great actors really 1857 01:24:54.199 --> 01:24:56.640 making it work, some not so great actors that a 1858 01:24:56.760 --> 01:24:59.119 little boring. Kind of depends on which storyline you're on. 1859 01:25:00.079 --> 01:25:01.600 I'm going to ing it hardest for its lack of 1860 01:25:01.680 --> 01:25:04.439 racial diversity, which I think it really could have done 1861 01:25:04.439 --> 01:25:05.720 better on in nineteen ninety. 1862 01:25:05.520 --> 01:25:07.920 Two, especially with a cast of thirty fucking they're. 1863 01:25:07.920 --> 01:25:10.319 So like if you go on Wikipedia, the people listed 1864 01:25:10.359 --> 01:25:12.560 on this show, I'm not exactly, it's like thirty people 1865 01:25:12.600 --> 01:25:15.079 that at some point, like if not a series regular, 1866 01:25:15.159 --> 01:25:17.760 like a major recurring character that came back multiple times. 1867 01:25:18.279 --> 01:25:20.439 I'm going to give it a five. I'm going to 1868 01:25:20.520 --> 01:25:25.359 give it a five out of ten wig rips because 1869 01:25:25.399 --> 01:25:27.760 I want to give it credit for the good female 1870 01:25:27.840 --> 01:25:32.680 roles and it's attempts at gay representation. But I think 1871 01:25:32.680 --> 01:25:36.079 the lack of racial diversity is pretty it's pretty damning 1872 01:25:36.199 --> 01:25:38.680 for the time. They could have done better on that. Yeah, yeah, 1873 01:25:38.760 --> 01:25:39.079 what do. 1874 01:25:39.039 --> 01:25:42.119 You think, especially I mean nineteen ninety two in La Yeah, 1875 01:25:43.000 --> 01:25:45.000 I mean, I also don't want there to be people 1876 01:25:45.000 --> 01:25:46.880 of color just so they can be like you know, 1877 01:25:47.359 --> 01:25:49.159 talking about Rodney King, you know what I mean, Like, 1878 01:25:49.159 --> 01:25:51.720 I don't want that, No, either. I want them to 1879 01:25:51.760 --> 01:25:53.439 be terrible, just like the rest of the people on 1880 01:25:53.479 --> 01:25:55.000 the show are. I want them to be evil and 1881 01:25:55.079 --> 01:25:58.279 terrible and sleeping with other people and like, you know 1882 01:25:58.359 --> 01:26:00.000 what I mean, Like, yeah, I think that was an 1883 01:26:00.000 --> 01:26:01.680 The other thing about Desperate Housewives that was kind of 1884 01:26:01.720 --> 01:26:04.600 a big deal is that it had like the Latino couple, Yeah, 1885 01:26:04.720 --> 01:26:07.319 which was in and they were upper middle class and 1886 01:26:07.399 --> 01:26:08.800 like just like everyone else, and. 1887 01:26:08.680 --> 01:26:10.880 Like and the Vanessa Williams you are thinking of when 1888 01:26:10.920 --> 01:26:12.840 I say, Vanessa Williams did join that show in the 1889 01:26:12.920 --> 01:26:14.800 later seasons and I like was on it for like 1890 01:26:14.840 --> 01:26:15.800 three seasons or something. 1891 01:26:15.960 --> 01:26:18.439 Yeah, I U it is so white that one guy, 1892 01:26:18.520 --> 01:26:21.600 the cop is black. Yeah, cops are always black on 1893 01:26:21.640 --> 01:26:23.800 these shows. I don't know why. I don't know why 1894 01:26:23.800 --> 01:26:27.039 they always ask black people to play cops on these shows. 1895 01:26:27.439 --> 01:26:31.640 There is something to be said about creating television for women, 1896 01:26:32.319 --> 01:26:35.039 and like, let's get real, soap operator for women, and 1897 01:26:35.119 --> 01:26:37.640 like nighttime soaps are for women. Like in general, men 1898 01:26:37.720 --> 01:26:39.920 do watch them, men can watch them, and that's you know, 1899 01:26:40.079 --> 01:26:43.159 that's but I feel like they the bread and butter 1900 01:26:43.199 --> 01:26:45.279 of this genre is we have to appeal to a 1901 01:26:45.279 --> 01:26:47.520 female audience. We have to put very beautiful men on 1902 01:26:47.560 --> 01:26:51.199 the show, and we have to have show have really 1903 01:26:51.239 --> 01:26:54.800 interesting female characters who are the bosses and the and 1904 01:26:54.880 --> 01:26:57.479 like run the gamut from like the bitch to the 1905 01:26:57.600 --> 01:27:00.920 like the sweet girl or blah blah blah. So there 1906 01:27:01.000 --> 01:27:03.199 is something to be said for that. It's very cool 1907 01:27:03.279 --> 01:27:06.319 that that's like even a genre that's even a consideration. 1908 01:27:06.760 --> 01:27:08.520 It does feel like it talks down to women kind 1909 01:27:08.560 --> 01:27:12.359 of a lot like this genre, So I it's that's 1910 01:27:12.479 --> 01:27:14.840 part of it for me is I'm always like, oh Jesus, 1911 01:27:15.000 --> 01:27:17.640 it's just feels so trite and women fighting each other 1912 01:27:17.720 --> 01:27:20.520 over a man, even in this episode, Like I mean, 1913 01:27:20.520 --> 01:27:23.000 they're not really fighting each other, just they're just fighting 1914 01:27:23.119 --> 01:27:29.760 for this like super unimpressive dick. It's like, again, it's 1915 01:27:29.760 --> 01:27:32.239 not the actor's fault. He's a very attractive man. It's 1916 01:27:32.239 --> 01:27:35.720 not about looks. It's just that guy sucks. That guy 1917 01:27:35.760 --> 01:27:38.000 can't be a good doctor. He just can't be a 1918 01:27:38.000 --> 01:27:41.079 good doctor. He does not ask a single question. 1919 01:27:41.239 --> 01:27:42.640 What kind of doctor is he? Do you know? 1920 01:27:43.159 --> 01:27:45.880 A doctor of love? What if he's like the fucking 1921 01:27:45.880 --> 01:27:52.920 neurosurgeon at the hospital? Yeah, oh my god, my blood 1922 01:27:53.039 --> 01:27:57.079 just crawled when you said that. So yeah, you know, 1923 01:27:57.159 --> 01:28:00.119 there is a little bit of that which I push 1924 01:28:00.359 --> 01:28:03.960 against when I encounter one of these shows. But people 1925 01:28:04.039 --> 01:28:07.239 love them, like there's a reason there the nighttime soap 1926 01:28:07.279 --> 01:28:09.479 opera has not gone away and will never go away. 1927 01:28:09.479 --> 01:28:14.319 There's a reason Shonda Rhymes has fourteen houses. Yeah, is 1928 01:28:14.319 --> 01:28:16.800 because not only does she know this genre, she made 1929 01:28:16.840 --> 01:28:20.279 it sing right, did this walk so Shonda could run? Maybe? 1930 01:28:20.359 --> 01:28:22.800 And I'm not sorry about that. I'm not sorry about that. 1931 01:28:22.920 --> 01:28:25.239 So I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna give it a 1932 01:28:25.319 --> 01:28:28.479 four because there are better ones. Okay, there are better 1933 01:28:28.600 --> 01:28:31.800 nighttime soaks. There are more interesting nighttime soaps than this one. 1934 01:28:31.880 --> 01:28:33.439 This one is not as good as I remember it. 1935 01:28:33.760 --> 01:28:37.399 If I'm being honest, I remembered it being a lot spicier, 1936 01:28:37.840 --> 01:28:40.840 and there's very little spice. A lot of these people 1937 01:28:40.880 --> 01:28:44.439 don't have chemistry, Like there was no chemistry between Grant 1938 01:28:44.479 --> 01:28:46.199 Show and Heather Locklear, and I don't know how you 1939 01:28:46.239 --> 01:28:49.039 don't have chemistry with Heather Locklear. There was more chemistry 1940 01:28:49.039 --> 01:28:52.600 with Courtney Thorne Smith and Heather Locker than with those 1941 01:28:52.640 --> 01:28:55.359 two women and anyone else on the show. So I 1942 01:28:55.399 --> 01:28:57.880 just don't I just remembered it being better. I wouldn't 1943 01:28:57.880 --> 01:29:01.479 recommend giving this one a rewatch if you're like, if 1944 01:29:01.520 --> 01:29:04.760 you also have like Gossip Girl as a possibility, or 1945 01:29:04.800 --> 01:29:07.600 any of the Shonda shows, yeah, which actually do have 1946 01:29:07.760 --> 01:29:09.000 a lot of diversity in them. 1947 01:29:09.079 --> 01:29:12.000 Yeah, Well, and the production values on this one are 1948 01:29:12.319 --> 01:29:13.680 they look silly to us. 1949 01:29:13.520 --> 01:29:15.199 Now, Oh my god, very silly. 1950 01:29:15.399 --> 01:29:19.079 And it's too recent for the production values I think 1951 01:29:19.119 --> 01:29:22.159 to be completely forgiven. Like we're going to do an 1952 01:29:22.199 --> 01:29:26.479 episode next week, a little teaser where the production values 1953 01:29:26.479 --> 01:29:29.399 are also very low because it comes from earlier in time. 1954 01:29:29.439 --> 01:29:31.560 It like doesn't bother me. It's just fun. 1955 01:29:31.800 --> 01:29:35.359 Well, and they're still better than this. Yeah, yeah, I 1956 01:29:35.399 --> 01:29:37.359 think so too. Yeah, so I'm going to give it. 1957 01:29:37.399 --> 01:29:39.079 Did I give it a four? Already? Did I say four? 1958 01:29:39.119 --> 01:29:40.439 I'm gonna give it this one a four? 1959 01:29:40.600 --> 01:29:42.399 All right? Fair enough? Do you want to offer a 1960 01:29:42.399 --> 01:29:43.079 palate cleanser? 1961 01:29:43.760 --> 01:29:46.479 Yeah, I mean I'm trying to think of what my 1962 01:29:46.680 --> 01:29:49.520 favorite nighttime soap was that actually was a very good 1963 01:29:49.640 --> 01:29:52.039 night time soap. I want to say Revenge. I remember 1964 01:29:52.119 --> 01:29:54.640 really loving Revenge for season Revenge, But I don't think 1965 01:29:54.640 --> 01:29:58.760 it was particularly diverse either, So if that's what we're 1966 01:29:58.800 --> 01:30:01.079 digging this on, yeah, you know, like I don't think 1967 01:30:01.079 --> 01:30:03.319 there was much much diversity in that either, and it 1968 01:30:03.439 --> 01:30:05.640 was certainly a lot of girl on girl crime on 1969 01:30:05.640 --> 01:30:07.479 that one. Yeah, this is a weird one. I'm going 1970 01:30:07.560 --> 01:30:09.600 to say. I don't have a palate cleanser, but that's 1971 01:30:09.600 --> 01:30:12.520 on me, that's not on like the show. Like I 1972 01:30:13.119 --> 01:30:16.000 just simply don't have enough like to pull yeah, to 1973 01:30:16.039 --> 01:30:18.239 be like, that's the thing you should watch instead of this. 1974 01:30:18.319 --> 01:30:19.640 And I don't want to say something that's not a 1975 01:30:19.720 --> 01:30:21.359 nighttime soap, because the whole point is that we're doing 1976 01:30:21.439 --> 01:30:24.319 nighttime soaps. Okay, you know, so do you have a 1977 01:30:24.359 --> 01:30:25.000 pallet cleanser? 1978 01:30:25.079 --> 01:30:27.039 I was just gonna say, Desperate Housewives. If you want 1979 01:30:27.079 --> 01:30:28.760 to see Marsha Cross at like the height. 1980 01:30:28.560 --> 01:30:30.319 Of her powers, I kind of want to see Desperate 1981 01:30:30.359 --> 01:30:33.199 Housewives now. I wish i'd see I've seen scenes here 1982 01:30:33.279 --> 01:30:35.399 and there Instagram. Every once in a while will like 1983 01:30:35.479 --> 01:30:37.439 show me a scene from desperat Usually it's an evil 1984 01:30:37.439 --> 01:30:40.239 Longoria scene, and I'm like, she's fantastic. 1985 01:30:40.680 --> 01:30:45.000 The first season of Desperate Housewives is, from my memory, 1986 01:30:45.239 --> 01:30:49.000 pretty great, like pretty pretty like fun and entertaining and 1987 01:30:49.039 --> 01:30:51.479 bonkers of course, but like a lot of fun. I 1988 01:30:51.960 --> 01:30:54.920 know it never quite achieves those heights again, but it 1989 01:30:54.960 --> 01:30:58.800 also never was not entertaining, like it gave us Eva 1990 01:30:58.840 --> 01:31:01.920 Longoria comedic torpedo evela. 1991 01:31:02.680 --> 01:31:05.800 It gave poor Duvant something to do, yes, exactly so 1992 01:31:06.000 --> 01:31:08.319 like and Marshall Cross gets to have a lot of fun. 1993 01:31:08.439 --> 01:31:11.000 That'd be my palate cleanser. But I also I reacted 1994 01:31:11.039 --> 01:31:13.640 better to this than you, like I I this is 1995 01:31:13.640 --> 01:31:16.000 one that I'd be like, maybe I'll maybe I'll see 1996 01:31:16.000 --> 01:31:17.800 what happened in the next episode after this one. I'm 1997 01:31:17.800 --> 01:31:18.439 a little curious. 1998 01:31:18.560 --> 01:31:19.359 I'm curious to. 1999 01:31:19.279 --> 01:31:23.079 Why where this goes. So I also think, like Melrose 2000 01:31:23.079 --> 01:31:25.279 Place is pretty fun because it's bonkers, and it's fun 2001 01:31:25.319 --> 01:31:26.279 watching a bonkers. 2002 01:31:26.079 --> 01:31:27.920 It is one of the more bonkers. I don't remember 2003 01:31:28.000 --> 01:31:29.760 nine to two and no getting this bonkers ever. 2004 01:31:30.000 --> 01:31:32.800 Yeah, yeah, all right, So that is the end of 2005 01:31:32.880 --> 01:31:36.000 our show. Everyone listening can follow us on threads and 2006 01:31:36.079 --> 01:31:40.520 on Instagram. We are phasing out Twitter, so if you 2007 01:31:40.600 --> 01:31:43.640 only follow us there, pick another platform pretty soon because 2008 01:31:43.640 --> 01:31:47.560 we're phasing out there for world reasons. 2009 01:31:47.640 --> 01:31:48.199 For reasons. 2010 01:31:48.359 --> 01:31:51.439 Yeah, Instagram is the only platform where we post our 2011 01:31:51.479 --> 01:31:53.279 monthly theme, so if you want to request on those, 2012 01:31:53.319 --> 01:31:55.960 you must, must, must follow us on Instagram. We have 2013 01:31:56.000 --> 01:31:58.520 a tea public shop. We are on Spotify where you 2014 01:31:58.560 --> 01:32:00.640 can comment on the episodes, and we would love it 2015 01:32:00.680 --> 01:32:02.840 if you leave a five star review on Apple Podcasts 2016 01:32:02.960 --> 01:32:05.760 or on any podcasting platform that you use. If you 2017 01:32:05.800 --> 01:32:07.880 do that, just like Kathia eighty and thank you five 2018 01:32:07.880 --> 01:32:10.039 from the top of this episode, let us know you 2019 01:32:10.079 --> 01:32:11.920 did it, We'll send you with that agel Tope bag. 2020 01:32:11.960 --> 01:32:14.720 No matter what platform you leave that on, we will 2021 01:32:14.720 --> 01:32:17.399 send you with the adel Tope bag. If you always 2022 01:32:17.479 --> 01:32:18.960 go I don't know how to do that well, you 2023 01:32:18.960 --> 01:32:20.640 can look in the show notes and you can click 2024 01:32:20.680 --> 01:32:21.920 on the link that will take you to rate this 2025 01:32:22.079 --> 01:32:24.920 podcast dot com slash that age Well and follow the 2026 01:32:24.960 --> 01:32:26.960 instructions there to leave those reviews. 2027 01:32:27.920 --> 01:32:31.119 That Aged Well is produced and edited by Paul Kayola. 2028 01:32:31.399 --> 01:32:35.039 We would like to thank Robin Don, Jan Mickey, Shannon Luis, 2029 01:32:35.359 --> 01:32:39.760 Aurelian Camille, Kevin Mike, William Vanessa and Adam for reaching 2030 01:32:39.840 --> 01:32:42.039 out and letting us know what you want to hear. 2031 01:32:42.560 --> 01:32:44.039 If you want to have a say in the topics 2032 01:32:44.039 --> 01:32:46.840 we discussed, you should join our patreon. Every patron gets 2033 01:32:46.880 --> 01:32:49.720 to vote in an exclusive monthly poll to determine one 2034 01:32:49.760 --> 01:32:52.520 of our subjects. This month, it's already been determined, but 2035 01:32:52.760 --> 01:32:57.000 this month will be doctors versus lawyer. Yes, so head 2036 01:32:57.039 --> 01:32:59.479 on over to patreon dot com slash that aged Well 2037 01:32:59.520 --> 01:33:04.640 podcast to find out more. Speaking of which, some tears 2038 01:33:04.640 --> 01:33:07.520 on our Patreon come with a thanks from a podcast character, 2039 01:33:07.760 --> 01:33:13.359 and today we're hearing from not one but two do dueling? 2040 01:33:14.039 --> 01:33:16.640 Eartha kits Mmmm. 2041 01:33:17.960 --> 01:33:21.359 Here we are we here on that age? Dwell to think? 2042 01:33:21.760 --> 01:33:25.960 Cory is a cowboy. I love cowboys. 2043 01:33:26.640 --> 01:33:31.920 Mmm, cowboys delicious? They have spurs. 2044 01:33:32.079 --> 01:33:34.760 You know a cowboy should not have to tie his 2045 01:33:34.880 --> 01:33:35.760 own lasso. 2046 01:33:37.039 --> 01:33:40.279 No, I would never poke at a cow poke. 2047 01:33:42.479 --> 01:33:45.439 You know what I love about cowboys? Eartha? 2048 01:33:45.920 --> 01:33:47.279 Hmm what Eartha? 2049 01:33:47.720 --> 01:33:51.079 Assless chap slicious? 2050 01:33:51.880 --> 01:33:55.399 You know when I love about cowboys? Eartha? 2051 01:33:55.840 --> 01:33:59.119 Do tell me, Eartha, what do you love about cowboys? 2052 01:33:59.199 --> 01:34:02.119 Ya is a stride a mustang? 2053 01:34:02.920 --> 01:34:06.359 A cowboys should never have to mount his own steed. 2054 01:34:07.239 --> 01:34:09.560 I love a good rodeo. 2055 01:34:11.279 --> 01:34:14.880 He should leave that for somebody else to do. So 2056 01:34:14.920 --> 01:34:17.399 you listen, Corey, who is a cowboy. 2057 01:34:18.439 --> 01:34:21.560 Thank you for listening, cowboy Corey. 2058 01:34:21.800 --> 01:34:25.840 And remember don't scuff your own boots. 2059 01:34:25.159 --> 01:34:28.800 And always keep your cattle in stride. 2060 01:34:30.199 --> 01:34:34.720 And you never want a hat with less than ten gallons. 2061 01:34:36.159 --> 01:34:37.760 Well that was sensual. 2062 01:34:37.960 --> 01:34:40.000 This room has a lot of Chanelle five in it 2063 01:34:40.079 --> 01:34:41.920 right now, Yes, so much Chanelle five. 2064 01:34:41.960 --> 01:34:43.000 It's a cloud of it. 2065 01:34:43.000 --> 01:34:45.720 It's my eyes are burning. Are your eyes burning? 2066 01:34:45.920 --> 01:34:49.840 Well, it's actually my nostrils for me? Yeah? Ouch, But 2067 01:34:49.920 --> 01:34:50.920 you know what, I'm hot. 2068 01:34:50.760 --> 01:34:52.399 I'm hot, I am hot. That was sexy. 2069 01:34:53.279 --> 01:34:56.840 I'm overwhelmed. Frankly, frankly, Erica, do you have any final 2070 01:34:56.880 --> 01:34:58.199 thoughts on Melrose Place? 2071 01:34:58.760 --> 01:35:04.079 Billy, let's plan our wedding. It will be so fun. 2072 01:35:04.720 --> 01:35:08.520 Want to make out on the counter now after eating clams. 2073 01:35:09.039 --> 01:35:11.199 We didn't even talk about her last dress, which is 2074 01:35:11.279 --> 01:35:14.920 just like this bland denim maxie dress. 2075 01:35:15.279 --> 01:35:18.640 Oh my god, the outfits. No one comes out unscathed, 2076 01:35:18.880 --> 01:35:29.039 no one. Hang on a second, Paul, I don't remember 2077 01:35:29.079 --> 01:35:33.520 you wearing an eyepatch before. You're your evil twin soul. 2078 01:35:34.439 --> 01:35:37.600 Oh