WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:02.839 For thirty five years, Cindy Stumpo has been a female 2 00:00:02.919 --> 00:00:06.440 home builder with a passion for design, a mastery of detail, 3 00:00:06.519 --> 00:00:09.400 and a commitment to her crack. With daughter Samantha Stumpo 4 00:00:09.519 --> 00:00:10.359 by her side. 5 00:00:10.160 --> 00:00:11.800 I don't need my whole family on a date with me. 6 00:00:11.880 --> 00:00:13.599 That's a good note. It's godemn weird. 7 00:00:13.679 --> 00:00:13.919 See. 8 00:00:13.919 --> 00:00:17.679 Stumpo Development is the only second generation female construction company 9 00:00:17.719 --> 00:00:18.359 in the country. 10 00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:22.359 You're crazy, You're a wacko, You're insane. 11 00:00:22.559 --> 00:00:23.960 I mean, it just doesn't end together. 12 00:00:24.120 --> 00:00:27.760 Cindy and Samantha welcome guests to explore the world of construction, 13 00:00:28.039 --> 00:00:31.399 real estate, development, design and more. Unpredictable. 14 00:00:31.440 --> 00:00:33.119 Every time I think I know what you want, you'd 15 00:00:33.159 --> 00:00:35.079 switch it out. But that's what makes your houses all 16 00:00:35.119 --> 00:00:35.520 your day. 17 00:00:35.640 --> 00:00:38.520 Discuss anything that happens between the roof and the foundation. 18 00:00:38.679 --> 00:00:41.640 Nothing is off limits. You truly do care about everybody. 19 00:00:41.719 --> 00:00:43.439 She can yell at chickens screen, but when you get 20 00:00:43.439 --> 00:00:46.159 her alone, she's the best person on the planet. Cindy 21 00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:55.159 Stumpo is tough as nails. 22 00:00:52.479 --> 00:00:55.600 And welcome to Cindy Stubbochub's Nails on WBC News Radio 23 00:00:55.600 --> 00:00:57.560 ten thirty and I'm here with. 24 00:00:57.799 --> 00:01:00.000 Smith Apparently I can't say see. 25 00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:02.119 I mean, I have to say, Sammy Stumbo, there you go. 26 00:01:02.240 --> 00:01:05.280 Who else is in this to you? Mark Joseph and 27 00:01:05.319 --> 00:01:09.000 you're the man of the hour. Maganham, okay, tell everybody 28 00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:09.400 who you are. 29 00:01:09.920 --> 00:01:12.319 My name is Maganim. I'm CEO of after Math Adiction 30 00:01:12.400 --> 00:01:16.120 Treatment Center, after Math Behavioral Health and Redemption Addiction Treatment Center. 31 00:01:16.319 --> 00:01:18.519 I'm a man in recovery and clean coming up on 32 00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:21.359 eighteen years and of two yeah, eighteen years. 33 00:01:21.519 --> 00:01:24.079 So you're you're like my weakness, right. This has been 34 00:01:24.079 --> 00:01:27.879 my thing for thirty six years, his addiction thirty three years. 35 00:01:28.400 --> 00:01:34.319 Especially lost a brother at eighteen. I'm not sorry, I'm 36 00:01:34.359 --> 00:01:36.359 okay's my brain's gonna go off at twenty eight to 37 00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:38.760 one line of coke in nineteen ninety, which was unheard 38 00:01:38.760 --> 00:01:44.480 of last year of law and one line quldn't called 39 00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:49.719 an ovadose. It was just Timy, Timy. Cause of death unknown. 40 00:01:50.319 --> 00:01:54.319 So I know and understand the spending. Anybody, you try 41 00:01:54.359 --> 00:01:57.840 to keep your kids away from it, you know, you whatever, 42 00:01:58.040 --> 00:02:01.200 It's just I get very angry with people, so I 43 00:02:01.319 --> 00:02:04.400 understand who I am. I've been trying to raise money 44 00:02:04.719 --> 00:02:07.319 for the Maverick. I don't know if you know what 45 00:02:07.359 --> 00:02:11.960 that is, and he's fostered with it. It was not Maverick. 46 00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:15.120 It was called the Meridian House House. Yeah. 47 00:02:15.120 --> 00:02:17.319 I used to go in there and do spoken more poetry. 48 00:02:18.360 --> 00:02:20.360 Okay, so now you know what the Meridian House looks 49 00:02:20.400 --> 00:02:23.919 like now compared to what it was like eighteen years ago? 50 00:02:24.039 --> 00:02:25.479 Right, it was like eighteen years ago. 51 00:02:25.520 --> 00:02:28.479 But three family, Yeah, that's what it was eighteen years ago, 52 00:02:28.520 --> 00:02:31.159 with three family. I don't think I'm dating myself thirteen 53 00:02:31.240 --> 00:02:34.159 fourteen fifties. Yeah, like eighteen years ago, it was just 54 00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:36.000 a three family. That's all it was, you know, with 55 00:02:36.039 --> 00:02:39.280 bedrooms upstairs, and it ran the phone, calling the produce 56 00:02:39.319 --> 00:02:42.159 what do you get left over for food? But getting 57 00:02:42.199 --> 00:02:44.400 my friends to try to raise money from them. Like 58 00:02:44.439 --> 00:02:47.120 I'd give my friends money for their causes, but they 59 00:02:47.159 --> 00:02:50.680 wouldn't give me money for my causes, which was drug addiction, 60 00:02:51.199 --> 00:02:56.599 battered women and children. Now things have changed in eighteen years, right, 61 00:02:56.639 --> 00:02:57.439 because now. 62 00:02:57.319 --> 00:02:59.080 People talk about it nowadays it's. 63 00:02:58.879 --> 00:03:01.360 Not about so much of the talking about it. Middle 64 00:03:01.400 --> 00:03:03.680 class and upper class are losing their children to it, right, 65 00:03:03.800 --> 00:03:06.719 so now it's something they'll talk about absolutely. I don't 66 00:03:06.759 --> 00:03:08.840 know if you follow every eleven minutes. I'm sure you 67 00:03:08.840 --> 00:03:12.039 do know, every eleven minutes, some children between the age 68 00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:15.800 of twelve, thirteen, twenty, twenty twenty nine are dieing from 69 00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:19.000 the fetanyl, right, so they take up add medication as 70 00:03:19.039 --> 00:03:20.000 fetanyl and they. 71 00:03:19.919 --> 00:03:23.120 Press pause whatever it is and everything right now. 72 00:03:22.919 --> 00:03:25.000 So it's every eleven minutes, that could be my kid. 73 00:03:25.080 --> 00:03:28.759 You're a kid, anybody's kid that's listening right now, your grandchildren, 74 00:03:29.120 --> 00:03:33.919 your brother, your sister, anybody. So now, because people understand 75 00:03:33.960 --> 00:03:36.400 it in the richer communities, they're giving them money. But 76 00:03:36.520 --> 00:03:37.520 eighteen years ago, no. 77 00:03:37.639 --> 00:03:39.159 They were, they were weren't They thought it was an 78 00:03:39.159 --> 00:03:40.120 inner city problem. 79 00:03:40.319 --> 00:03:42.199 Well, yeah, you're a drug you know, Well they decide 80 00:03:42.199 --> 00:03:43.919 to be drug X. No, no one grows up and 81 00:03:43.919 --> 00:03:45.199 decides they want to be a drug X. 82 00:03:45.199 --> 00:03:47.360 So it doesn't almo with somebody that they know. That's 83 00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:49.240 when you know, everybody wants to be up and arms. 84 00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:51.080 I totally change over that time. 85 00:03:51.159 --> 00:03:52.879 Look, you can prove me wrong. You know more about 86 00:03:52.879 --> 00:03:55.039 this than I do, and we'll get into your bio. 87 00:03:55.159 --> 00:03:59.960 But I believe a lot of this is genetic too, right, 88 00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:02.000 Like there are kids that could party through high school 89 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:04.599 and college and never look back again and then it's 90 00:04:04.639 --> 00:04:06.759 that one time they do something in there. 91 00:04:06.719 --> 00:04:10.439 There, that's why you have you know. For me, well, 92 00:04:10.479 --> 00:04:12.639 my son, I have open lines of communication about it, 93 00:04:12.719 --> 00:04:16.680 like he's more likely to fall into drug addiction just 94 00:04:16.720 --> 00:04:20.000 by partying or experimenting, you know what I mean, because 95 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:22.319 of his genetics, because his father is a drug addict, 96 00:04:22.399 --> 00:04:25.199 you know, because we have family history of alcoholism and 97 00:04:25.240 --> 00:04:26.639 drug addiction, you. 98 00:04:26.600 --> 00:04:28.839 Know, and scare him. 99 00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:31.199 No, I mean one of the cool things like being 100 00:04:31.240 --> 00:04:32.720 in recovery for as long as I've been in and 101 00:04:32.759 --> 00:04:35.399 being like an advocate for the community. He knows my 102 00:04:35.439 --> 00:04:37.079 whole story. He's known it for a long time, Like 103 00:04:37.120 --> 00:04:39.480 he's seen some pretty cool things that I've been able 104 00:04:39.480 --> 00:04:41.639 to do over my time. So I've always had like 105 00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:45.439 that open line of communication with how he's fifteen now 106 00:04:45.480 --> 00:04:46.360 about to be sixteen. 107 00:04:46.639 --> 00:04:48.240 Well he's the impress severs right. 108 00:04:48.319 --> 00:04:50.959 So yeah, yeah, But even even early on, it wasn't 109 00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:53.959 necessarily like hey, you're gonna do you know, you party 110 00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:55.480 with your friends, you're going to do drugs. A lot 111 00:04:55.480 --> 00:04:57.000 of it's like you hang out with the wrong people 112 00:04:57.040 --> 00:04:58.920 at a young age, you're gonna do the wrong thing, 113 00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:01.720 and that kind of follow suit, you know, that like 114 00:05:01.800 --> 00:05:05.519 unspoken peer pressure for me when I was growing up, 115 00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:07.279 Like I wanted to be a part of so whoever 116 00:05:07.279 --> 00:05:08.959 I was hanging out with, whatever they were doing, I 117 00:05:09.040 --> 00:05:11.319 kind of follow suit with. So trying to educate my 118 00:05:11.360 --> 00:05:13.319 son on being a leader not a follower, and then 119 00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:15.680 having the courage to say no, because that's like one 120 00:05:15.680 --> 00:05:17.959 of the biggest things. Like when I was presented some 121 00:05:18.240 --> 00:05:21.279 you know, presented a cigarette, presented a beer, a joint, 122 00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:23.240 I didn't have the courage to like speak up for 123 00:05:23.279 --> 00:05:24.639 myself and be like, no, I don't want to do this. 124 00:05:25.160 --> 00:05:27.480 I just did it because it's what everybody else around 125 00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:29.319 me was doing. That unspoken peer pressure. 126 00:05:29.800 --> 00:05:33.240 So yeah, I think comes an early age. I think 127 00:05:33.240 --> 00:05:35.000 that does come from an early age. When my father 128 00:05:35.040 --> 00:05:36.439 said to me, you decide, do you want to be 129 00:05:36.480 --> 00:05:38.160 a chief for an Indian you want to be a 130 00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:41.160 follower leader? You get one choice, you don't get two. 131 00:05:42.680 --> 00:05:45.319 I'm not following. I'm definitely not a follower. So I'm 132 00:05:45.399 --> 00:05:47.639 not a follower. So I never had a drink of 133 00:05:47.639 --> 00:05:50.000 alcohol in my life. It's awesome, But I did pick 134 00:05:50.040 --> 00:05:52.000 up cigarettes right now because somebody gave me a cigarette. 135 00:05:52.199 --> 00:05:54.079 The truth is I took it from my father that 136 00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:55.959 was a smoker. Yeah, and I went and smoked on 137 00:05:56.000 --> 00:05:58.879 the corner. Right, that was my choice period in a story, 138 00:05:59.519 --> 00:06:03.079 I made that choice and I did and follow you. No, 139 00:06:03.120 --> 00:06:06.600 would you drink? I don't drink barely, okay, but in 140 00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:08.279 your twenties you were, you would, you were having a 141 00:06:08.279 --> 00:06:08.879 good time. Yeah. 142 00:06:08.920 --> 00:06:10.480 But like even when I saw people like in high 143 00:06:10.519 --> 00:06:13.959 school doing drugs or whatnot, no one ever said, ever 144 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:14.959 pushed me if I said no. 145 00:06:15.439 --> 00:06:15.680 Ever. 146 00:06:15.920 --> 00:06:18.680 That's true, But that's it's not always about saying no, 147 00:06:18.959 --> 00:06:21.000 you know what I mean, like pushing you to do 148 00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:22.879 it after you say no. Sometimes people are scared to 149 00:06:22.879 --> 00:06:23.199 say no. 150 00:06:24.240 --> 00:06:25.279 They never actually asked. 151 00:06:25.759 --> 00:06:29.160 Yeah, different generations, but I hear, I hear what you're saying. 152 00:06:29.199 --> 00:06:31.519 I told you not to put your business. Yeah, I'm 153 00:06:31.519 --> 00:06:32.959 thirty eight to thirty nine. 154 00:06:33.439 --> 00:06:36.120 But watched people like take pills and then drink a 155 00:06:36.120 --> 00:06:37.920 beer in the ads roll behind their head. I'm like, oh, yeah, 156 00:06:37.920 --> 00:06:38.639 that doesn't I'm good. 157 00:06:38.959 --> 00:06:41.079 Well that's a blessing that he looked at that like. 158 00:06:41.120 --> 00:06:42.519 But some people and it didn't start. 159 00:06:42.639 --> 00:06:44.839 Yeah, So it didn't start as like I look at 160 00:06:44.879 --> 00:06:47.360 somebody with the as rolling back like it started with cigarettes. 161 00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:49.319 My buddy stole a pack of smokes from his mother, 162 00:06:49.480 --> 00:06:51.279 and then one by one he handed it to each 163 00:06:51.360 --> 00:06:53.199 kid we walked to school with and we sat on 164 00:06:53.199 --> 00:06:56.240 the corner, you know, coughing up along thinking you know 165 00:06:56.279 --> 00:06:58.319 what I mean, and then excuse me, yeah, excuse me. 166 00:06:58.360 --> 00:07:02.279 We were working. I thought I was the coolest we were. 167 00:07:02.879 --> 00:07:05.360 Don't be mistaken that we were. We were, okay, But 168 00:07:05.399 --> 00:07:08.759 the kids that were nerdy and getting more educated, they 169 00:07:08.800 --> 00:07:10.120 were actually the cool kids, right. 170 00:07:10.199 --> 00:07:12.680 But no, I mean looking at it now, Yeah. 171 00:07:12.879 --> 00:07:15.759 I have a friend that once said to me from Revent. 172 00:07:16.160 --> 00:07:18.879 It was the best remark ever. He said, you know, Cindy, 173 00:07:19.279 --> 00:07:21.439 you have as much drug problems over the bridge as 174 00:07:21.439 --> 00:07:23.879 we have over here. You guys just hide it in 175 00:07:23.879 --> 00:07:27.680 your fancy homes and your fancy cars and behind your money. 176 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:30.720 But where they come to get the drugs? And you 177 00:07:30.759 --> 00:07:33.519 know what, he was right, We had a bigger problem. 178 00:07:33.879 --> 00:07:36.240 And we were the kids getting the pills from their 179 00:07:36.279 --> 00:07:39.399 parents' cabinets. Where the kids getting the pot from We 180 00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:42.800 were the kids getting all the purpose from their parents. Okay, 181 00:07:42.920 --> 00:07:45.639 So I laughed because he's right with that. See, we're 182 00:07:45.680 --> 00:07:47.879 just drug x over here because we're poor, but the 183 00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:51.199 rich people. They're not drug xs well yes they are, 184 00:07:51.240 --> 00:07:54.600 but they just hide it really really well, well because 185 00:07:54.600 --> 00:07:56.600 they have the fancy homes and cars. At the end 186 00:07:56.639 --> 00:07:58.759 of the day, it's all the same. It's all the same. 187 00:07:59.480 --> 00:08:01.560 So give you a bio, please, Matthew. 188 00:08:01.720 --> 00:08:03.839 Yeah, I mean, I'm a personal long term recovery I 189 00:08:03.879 --> 00:08:08.000 got clean April twenty first, two thousand and six. Very blessed. 190 00:08:09.240 --> 00:08:11.560 You know, I'm a spoken word out is. I've been 191 00:08:11.600 --> 00:08:13.360 writing poetry my whole life. I put a book out 192 00:08:13.360 --> 00:08:16.079 in twenty eleven called The Shadow of an Attict. I've 193 00:08:16.079 --> 00:08:17.639 been in the recovery field a most slow. 194 00:08:17.680 --> 00:08:19.040 So you put a book out, The Shadow of a 195 00:08:19.399 --> 00:08:20.480 twenty eleven. 196 00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:24.120 A collection of poetry. I sold I think five thousand 197 00:08:24.160 --> 00:08:26.560 copies out of my car. So before that, I had 198 00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:28.560 a book deal that I like signed and thought I 199 00:08:28.560 --> 00:08:30.360 was going to be some New York Times bestseller. 200 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:30.879 Yeah. 201 00:08:30.959 --> 00:08:35.120 Unfortunately, Uh that did not happen. And I'm very stubborn 202 00:08:35.399 --> 00:08:37.200 and I like to prove people wrong because I was 203 00:08:37.240 --> 00:08:40.000 supposed to be nothing, and uh, you know this, this 204 00:08:40.080 --> 00:08:42.039 company just kept pushing me off, pushing me off. We 205 00:08:42.039 --> 00:08:44.679 need the right editor, we need this. And then finally 206 00:08:44.759 --> 00:08:47.080 I was you know I was ready to you know, 207 00:08:47.120 --> 00:08:49.480 I just gave up on waiting for them, ended up 208 00:08:49.679 --> 00:08:54.279 putting a book together and published it and acting publishing 209 00:08:54.320 --> 00:08:56.200 in Childs Town. All my first. 210 00:08:56.120 --> 00:08:58.320 Boss is not getting you the places you want to 211 00:08:58.320 --> 00:08:58.600 get you. 212 00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:01.720 It's got me pretty filright, says it. Yeah, it actually has. 213 00:09:02.639 --> 00:09:05.080 So you know I'm be easy. 214 00:09:05.679 --> 00:09:07.000 Yeah, I don't know really. 215 00:09:07.679 --> 00:09:10.840 Yeah, not stumbing at all. No, I swig, I. 216 00:09:11.000 --> 00:09:13.519 Mean coming by Paul. Okay, hold that thought. We're gonna 217 00:09:13.519 --> 00:09:16.480 take the coming, going out to break? What's that becoming? Becoming? 218 00:09:16.600 --> 00:09:18.240 You think I'm buy pola? Okay, over there, I can't 219 00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:20.200 throw a pen at you. I'm sitting stumple. You listen 220 00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:21.960 to Tough His Nails at w BZ News Radio ten 221 00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:23.159 thirty and we will be right. 222 00:09:23.039 --> 00:09:26.519 Now sponsored by Floor and Decor, National Lumber and Village. 223 00:09:26.240 --> 00:09:34.960 Band and let the Wrong Ones in. 224 00:09:37.000 --> 00:09:41.399 Pad An Angel of the Mersey Semen and welcome back 225 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:44.000 to Toughest Nails on w BZ News Radio ten thirty. 226 00:09:44.039 --> 00:09:48.000 And I'm Siddy Stumpo and you're with I'm with Sammy and. 227 00:09:48.559 --> 00:09:51.879 Mark Joseph and Maganam you have. 228 00:09:51.919 --> 00:09:56.759 That song amazing Barssmith so one of my favorites, So yeah, 229 00:09:57.600 --> 00:10:00.320 I want to shooting this song. Was it a blinking value? Family? 230 00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:02.279 See the light? What was your blink of an eye 231 00:10:02.279 --> 00:10:03.279 that you finally saw the light? 232 00:10:03.960 --> 00:10:06.720 In my moment of clarity, I hit rock bottom. I 233 00:10:06.759 --> 00:10:08.759 was on trial for Class A distribution, but I was 234 00:10:08.799 --> 00:10:11.759 a monkey oft sold bananas. I sold drugs to support 235 00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:12.200 my habit. 236 00:10:12.320 --> 00:10:14.480 What is that called monkey of What I call it. 237 00:10:14.360 --> 00:10:16.840 Being a monkey of sould bananas? Which means I sold 238 00:10:16.840 --> 00:10:19.840 heroin as a heroin addict, So I would sell drugs 239 00:10:19.879 --> 00:10:22.039 just to do all the profits. And that's how I 240 00:10:22.120 --> 00:10:26.240 maintained for a little while when it stealing, which eventually 241 00:10:26.279 --> 00:10:29.440 after I got arrested, led to more crimes and a 242 00:10:29.480 --> 00:10:31.919 further spiral down I was. 243 00:10:32.039 --> 00:10:33.799 I think today in twenty four you'd be arrested for 244 00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:35.799 that with everything's going on in the country. 245 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:37.720 No, I wouldn't be treated the same way I was 246 00:10:37.759 --> 00:10:39.440 treated like I was some big time drug dealer. When 247 00:10:39.480 --> 00:10:40.960 I was sitting in court, I had detectives and I 248 00:10:41.080 --> 00:10:43.200 cop showing up and I got caught with like not 249 00:10:43.399 --> 00:10:46.679 a lot of heroin at the time, but they wanted 250 00:10:46.679 --> 00:10:48.639 to paint me out as this big bad guy because 251 00:10:48.679 --> 00:10:50.919 I was selling death to kids, that's how it was 252 00:10:50.960 --> 00:10:54.039 looked at. But I was a lost nineteen year old. 253 00:10:54.559 --> 00:10:57.240 But now being a dad and think a nineteen year 254 00:10:57.240 --> 00:11:00.440 old kid might sell to your son. Yeah, yeah, awful. 255 00:11:00.519 --> 00:11:03.200 Oh I know, I believe me. The perspective I have 256 00:11:03.399 --> 00:11:05.639 now compared to what I was when I was a kid, 257 00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:08.399 is completely different. I wanted to be this cool kid, 258 00:11:08.519 --> 00:11:12.200 tough guy like I used to try to emulate something 259 00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:14.399 that I wasn't. And when I was, you know, I 260 00:11:14.399 --> 00:11:16.879 started with Oxy Corton in high school, and I thought 261 00:11:16.919 --> 00:11:18.559 I could fight Mike Tyson, I could hit on the 262 00:11:18.559 --> 00:11:20.240 heart girl. It gave me all the confidence in the world, 263 00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:24.480 and then it progressively got worse to ivy, heroine, homelessness, 264 00:11:24.600 --> 00:11:26.399 crack program. 265 00:11:26.600 --> 00:11:29.759 Two, addiction, any mental disorders that you can think of. 266 00:11:29.759 --> 00:11:33.799 Yeah, suffer. I suffer from depression, anxiety, I struggle with 267 00:11:34.120 --> 00:11:36.039 you know, just trying to fit in, just trying to 268 00:11:36.039 --> 00:11:40.960 be a part of I've severely obsessive personality. 269 00:11:42.320 --> 00:11:45.279 Like so you had to stand Stull diagnosis for a reason, right, 270 00:11:45.279 --> 00:11:49.159 better than anybody. And if maybe somebody saw these things 271 00:11:49.159 --> 00:11:52.320 as a child, Yeah, taken you down a whole different path. 272 00:11:52.480 --> 00:11:57.519 Yeah, yeah, no, you're right. About that because unfortunately, when 273 00:11:57.559 --> 00:11:58.799 I was a kid, though they looked at all his 274 00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:01.639 behavioral problems and that I was struggling with mental health, 275 00:12:01.840 --> 00:12:04.039 I wasn't extreaming all for help. Yeah, exactly. So I 276 00:12:04.080 --> 00:12:06.000 went through four different high schools and two states. 277 00:12:06.039 --> 00:12:07.919 Like, but that's weird, you're how oled again? 278 00:12:08.360 --> 00:12:09.879 Thirty eight bout to be thirty nine. 279 00:12:09.919 --> 00:12:12.080 We knew that. I mean, my daughter studied six. We 280 00:12:12.159 --> 00:12:13.440 knew that. Not my age. 281 00:12:13.440 --> 00:12:15.200 They didn't know that, fortunately not for me. 282 00:12:16.039 --> 00:12:17.720 So mom and dad never picked up on it. 283 00:12:17.919 --> 00:12:20.360 No, not really. I mean I just was constantly getting in. 284 00:12:20.279 --> 00:12:22.240 Trouble, you know, driving them crazy. 285 00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:26.679 Yes, I drove my parents completely insane. And now my 286 00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:29.159 father's my best friend. I share every bit of good 287 00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:31.240 news that I ever get with him first, you know, 288 00:12:31.960 --> 00:12:34.080 and like there was many years that I didn't talk 289 00:12:34.120 --> 00:12:35.399 to him. My mother threw me out when I was 290 00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:37.399 sixteen years old because you just couldn't deal with me. 291 00:12:37.960 --> 00:12:40.840 So now I bought I bought my mother at Klondo. 292 00:12:41.919 --> 00:12:44.679 Now you bought your years ago. Yeah, things change. 293 00:12:44.840 --> 00:12:47.000 Yeah, they've been pretty good now. 294 00:12:47.279 --> 00:12:50.120 And me, I'm the type of mom that I will 295 00:12:50.200 --> 00:12:52.799 chase my kids, so I can't chase them anything so 296 00:12:52.840 --> 00:12:53.840 there's two schools with thoughts. 297 00:12:53.840 --> 00:12:56.320 So yeah, there was definitely different back then. You couldn't 298 00:12:56.360 --> 00:12:58.559 talk my mother and father couldn't talk to the next 299 00:12:58.600 --> 00:13:00.559 parent because they would be like, what did you embarrassed? 300 00:13:01.000 --> 00:13:02.200 You know what I mean? When it had nothing to 301 00:13:02.200 --> 00:13:04.200 do with them. I'm like, yeah, there's some home struggles 302 00:13:04.240 --> 00:13:06.559 and everything, but I mean I went down the path 303 00:13:06.559 --> 00:13:08.120 that wasn't because of the way that they raised me. 304 00:13:08.360 --> 00:13:08.600 You know. 305 00:13:09.720 --> 00:13:14.559 So as we're talking about drugs, so for me, I 306 00:13:14.639 --> 00:13:18.080 was so afraid that history would repeat itself. So you're 307 00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:22.360 already you're already have PTSD, right like you have children. 308 00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:24.720 Now now you see what your parents went through. You 309 00:13:24.799 --> 00:13:27.600 see what you've been through. You don't want that history 310 00:13:27.639 --> 00:13:28.559 to repeat itself. 311 00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:29.960 No, we're trying to break that cycle. 312 00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:31.399 In two thousand and six, how old were you. 313 00:13:31.960 --> 00:13:34.399 I was twenty years old, twenty one years old when 314 00:13:34.600 --> 00:13:35.200 I got clean. 315 00:13:37.080 --> 00:13:40.799 So you know it's like we're just I think if 316 00:13:40.799 --> 00:13:44.279 you haven't lived it, you don't understand it. 317 00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:44.840 Right. 318 00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:47.200 You have to live that. You have to lose somebody 319 00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:50.399 that you love to know that feeling, to have that empathy, 320 00:13:51.000 --> 00:13:53.399 and unless you've been there, you're never going to understand 321 00:13:53.399 --> 00:13:56.200 an edict. You're never going to understand whether they start 322 00:13:56.200 --> 00:14:00.440 off as a social user. My brother was definitely social, right, 323 00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:05.559 you silly nineteen eighty leaving Newton's South going three thousand 324 00:14:05.639 --> 00:14:08.240 miles like yeah, across the world. You know, Hey, no, 325 00:14:08.360 --> 00:14:11.720 mom and dad watching me sex, drugs, rock and roll 326 00:14:11.840 --> 00:14:15.240 nineteen eighty like la kidding me? Like who's banging? Who's 327 00:14:15.240 --> 00:14:17.720 not banging? Who? Who's not doing coke? Who's not doing 328 00:14:17.759 --> 00:14:20.840 this that? And probably was blowing eight balls and quote 329 00:14:20.840 --> 00:14:23.759 ounces back in those days, right, doesn't die then later 330 00:14:23.879 --> 00:14:26.559 off ten years later or whatever, you know. It's like. 331 00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:28.320 But when the police got there, there was nothing there 332 00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:30.639 by the way, so we knew somebody was there. They 333 00:14:30.639 --> 00:14:31.840 took off. They left him there. 334 00:14:32.240 --> 00:14:32.799 That's awful. 335 00:14:32.840 --> 00:14:35.360 Probably somebody from Harvard one of the schools and said 336 00:14:35.399 --> 00:14:37.720 I don't want to go down for this and and 337 00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:40.120 could have saved his life, but they didn't. They chose 338 00:14:40.200 --> 00:14:42.679 to run out and not save his life. Right, so 339 00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:44.919 we know that he suffered. We can tell by his 340 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:47.360 pants trying to get up the stairs, you know, crawling 341 00:14:47.919 --> 00:14:50.679 all the nine yards. But it happened, and you live 342 00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:52.279 with that for the rest the rest of your life. 343 00:14:52.320 --> 00:14:58.240 So you can't make a normal family understand unless that 344 00:14:58.279 --> 00:15:01.879 family has been there through the pain. So then you know. 345 00:15:01.919 --> 00:15:04.320 Then you have a kid, that's okay, my kid's drinking 346 00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:07.000 here now it's every night through COVID. I'm going, whoa, whoa, whoa, 347 00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:09.360 what's going on here? Right? And now you get start 348 00:15:09.399 --> 00:15:12.320 getting scared because here it comes right, here comes the 349 00:15:12.919 --> 00:15:16.240 who knows? So I know me as a mom, I 350 00:15:16.279 --> 00:15:19.919 will tackle you, I will chase you, I will annihilate 351 00:15:19.960 --> 00:15:23.480 you out there. Bodyguards on you. I didn't need it, okay, 352 00:15:23.519 --> 00:15:25.039 but I did put it. I did put a I 353 00:15:25.039 --> 00:15:26.720 put a bodyguard on you at times. I put a 354 00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:28.919 PI on you at times. Yeah, that bought me drinks. 355 00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:32.279 And he was an idiot, wasn't he? Only I could 356 00:15:32.320 --> 00:15:34.360 hire a PI that buys a drinks, Like who does that? 357 00:15:34.919 --> 00:15:37.279 But I wanted to make sure she was safe. Plus 358 00:15:37.279 --> 00:15:38.840 we had a TV show, plus we had a lot 359 00:15:38.840 --> 00:15:42.159 going on too. But again, yeah, that's that's yeah, I'll 360 00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:43.480 do that type of crap. Like I don't care. 361 00:15:44.320 --> 00:15:44.840 I get it. 362 00:15:45.159 --> 00:15:46.360 And then she called me on the phone. She's like, 363 00:15:47.320 --> 00:15:49.080 I think Dad just drove by me. I'm like, what 364 00:15:49.080 --> 00:15:49.919 what we're talking about? 365 00:15:49.960 --> 00:15:51.120 I don't know what you're talking about. 366 00:15:51.799 --> 00:15:55.200 Ahama just drove by on what were you in Austin? Yeah, 367 00:15:55.240 --> 00:15:57.279 that's not your dad, I said, that's somebody else. Sammy, 368 00:15:58.200 --> 00:16:00.279 what when it did happen? It wasn't at it was 369 00:16:00.320 --> 00:16:05.639 Awesomehama driving down. Okay, so go ahead. I'm making a 370 00:16:05.679 --> 00:16:09.000 point that people unless they understand this. 371 00:16:09.720 --> 00:16:12.279 Definitely, and I mean when you're talking about parents, and 372 00:16:12.360 --> 00:16:14.879 I mean, there's definitely different ways of doing it. You know. 373 00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:17.399 I try to equip Christian with enough knowledge that when 374 00:16:17.399 --> 00:16:20.360 he's in these situations that he makes the right decision. Unfortunately, 375 00:16:20.440 --> 00:16:22.320 up until now, he's never drug. He's never smoked. I 376 00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:24.080 never had a cigarette, never smoked weeds. 377 00:16:24.120 --> 00:16:26.039 So I have to say that I don't know for 378 00:16:26.120 --> 00:16:28.159 you remember this, but you also told me if I 379 00:16:28.159 --> 00:16:30.200 ever wanted to do a drug, come home and tell you, 380 00:16:30.240 --> 00:16:32.039 and like like you kind of said you'd do it 381 00:16:32.080 --> 00:16:33.480 with me, and I never asked because you kind of 382 00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:33.919 leave it this. 383 00:16:33.960 --> 00:16:36.279 It's a weird thing about it. I said, listen, you 384 00:16:36.279 --> 00:16:38.159 guys want to have to try something. We try to 385 00:16:38.240 --> 00:16:40.440 feel me together my father so that to me kept 386 00:16:40.480 --> 00:16:42.399 me straight so I can get high with you. That 387 00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:45.279 doesn't seem too fun. So I get high. Yeah, so 388 00:16:45.559 --> 00:16:48.159 he took the he took the ooh out of it. 389 00:16:48.200 --> 00:16:49.559 You know what I mean. It's like Italian kids that 390 00:16:49.639 --> 00:16:51.960 grew up with wine on the table every night. They 391 00:16:51.960 --> 00:16:53.679 grew up with wine on the table, right, it's kind 392 00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:56.759 of culture going to get drunk cause it's like, you know, 393 00:16:57.159 --> 00:17:00.879 they can win, exactly. So if you take that excitement 394 00:17:00.879 --> 00:17:03.519 out of it, like okay, dude, you if they haven't 395 00:17:03.559 --> 00:17:05.720 called me up on it and said, hey, ready to 396 00:17:05.720 --> 00:17:07.680 do a line, I'd be like, Okay, it comes to 397 00:17:07.720 --> 00:17:10.400 hot attack, it comes to pig attack, I think I'm dying, 398 00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:12.759 But go ahead. I'm sorry, I keep going. 399 00:17:13.000 --> 00:17:14.759 No, that's all I got for that one. 400 00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:15.880 No, you got more than that? 401 00:17:16.000 --> 00:17:17.000