Speaker 1: Tape deck Media.
Speaker 2: See the.
Speaker 1: Welcome back class once again. It's your teacher, mister Joseph
Speaker 1: bet Castro joining me as always are my tas mister
Speaker 1: Aaron Frescus and mister Christopher Chapman, and we have a
Speaker 1: special guest again today, mister David Callins. So we're going
Speaker 1: to turn it over to mister Chapman to continue the
Speaker 1: summary of Kindergarten Cop. But before we do that, I
Speaker 1: just wanted to say, remember what Dutch said, get to
Speaker 1: the Choppa, all right, take it away, mister Chapman.
Speaker 3: We see Crisp and his mother arrive in downtown Astoria,
Speaker 3: where Crisp goes to a toy store to try and
Speaker 3: buy the last slot car play set, but gets turned down.
Speaker 2: Flashing his money right now. To me, this scene was
Speaker 2: unnecessary because, first of all, you know exactly what's gonna
Speaker 2: happen next, and we are always a creek.
Speaker 3: Yeah we already.
Speaker 2: We don't need like this, We don't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this doesn't. I guess they're trying to show that
Speaker 3: he's like excited about being a dad, but we get
Speaker 3: plenty of that later.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just you're you're beating a dead pinata at
Speaker 2: this point for somethingthing. I don't know, he's if I've
Speaker 2: been getting the wrong message.
Speaker 3: He has a ponytail.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not like it's Checkhof's uh fucking rc car
Speaker 1: thing like it doesn't like check offs whatever the fuck
Speaker 1: they are. Like, he doesn't get hit with it.
Speaker 2: Oh that's the best reference. Oh my god, he doesn't.
Speaker 1: Get hit with it. Later, Like maybe if he was
Speaker 1: buying him a baseball bat, then that's true, that would
Speaker 1: have been like a good playoff thing. But that's you know,
Speaker 1: that's a little ratement for you, always subverting expectations.
Speaker 2: So he's known for he's calling card, as it were.
Speaker 2: Oh God.
Speaker 3: Back of the Fair, O'Hara tells Arnold about Cindy's death
Speaker 3: and the captain's orders. So they just come right out
Speaker 3: and confront Joyce with the truth.
Speaker 2: Hey, we've been watching from across the bar, and we
Speaker 2: kind of like a vibe.
Speaker 3: Watching you and your son from across. So she tells
Speaker 3: them that the three million dollars never existed and runs
Speaker 3: home with Dominic, who is a likely story, who is
Speaker 3: the only thing that chrisp really wants.
Speaker 4: And I was gonna say it's weird that she runs
Speaker 4: from the cops, but like, I don't know, the cops
Speaker 4: have proven themselves not to be Uh you know.
Speaker 2: Did you not see her a cab tattoo just for
Speaker 2: a second one of the saints on her shoulder.
Speaker 3: Uh. So we go back to the toy store now
Speaker 3: where Crisp beats the.
Speaker 2: Ship to pay off that scene that we don't need.
Speaker 3: Exactly that was two seconds ago, by the way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like why they even split that and have like
Speaker 2: we we know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly. They could have just followed him outside. So
Speaker 3: he beats the shit out of the dead who got
Speaker 3: the slot cars and steals the placet for dominic before
Speaker 3: meeting his mother in the pharmacy and giving us a
Speaker 3: small glimpse into his very fucked up childhood.
Speaker 4: And you say fucked up child that I say, I
Speaker 4: don't know, Old Lady Crisp kind of makes a good
Speaker 4: argument for pumping that kid with drugs.
Speaker 3: Like he's never been.
Speaker 4: Sick, he didn't get sick. Kind of That's why I'm like,
Speaker 4: you guys are like this relationships cripy, and like, what
Speaker 4: are you talking about?
Speaker 2: He's got a ponytail.
Speaker 3: Something.
Speaker 1: It's actually just another Stephen King reference. So, first off,
Speaker 1: we had the kid who plays Gage in a pet cemetery.
Speaker 1: He's in this movie. He's one of Arnold's kids. Then
Speaker 1: we had what, no, it's not little, it's it's the
Speaker 1: littlest one and he's the one, yeah boys have a vagina.
Speaker 2: It's the one who cut Ronold's ten and with a scalp.
Speaker 1: We also got the sad clown you know, obviously it
Speaker 1: and then basically Crisp was sad.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's only sad when he doesn't get.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I mean have you read the book that happened?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 1: And speaking of that, uh Eddie, you know, one of
Speaker 1: the ones in the Loser's Club, his mom is basically
Speaker 1: Crisp Crisp's mom, you know, without like the evil doing,
Speaker 1: but the overbearing pumpin and full address.
Speaker 2: Really nailed the names. You don't like that name Crisp,
Speaker 2: Like nothing about that guy? Okay?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well, and it's also the typical like two syllables sometimes
Speaker 1: last name first of like nineties movies like castor Troy
Speaker 1: or yeah. So I always felt I should chase my
Speaker 1: name to Castro Beck because that was just a perfect
Speaker 1: fucking like nineties bad guy movie. Actually, yeah, so.
Speaker 3: Arnold now shows up to Joyce's place to find the
Speaker 3: place torn apart and Joyce frantically searching for Dominic. Arnold
Speaker 3: realizes that Dominant is on the tower after hearing that
Speaker 3: he was talking about laser So.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is the part where I was like, I
Speaker 2: can believe that the kid really thinks he knows how
Speaker 2: lasers work. Sure, but to climb up a tower with
Speaker 2: rolls of tinfoil? Like, how bad is this education system?
Speaker 2: They have failed this kid on every level, that's true.
Speaker 3: And his mom's a teacher. Yeah, I think about that, Like.
Speaker 1: First of all, it's a luminum foil. Second of all,
Speaker 1: I don't really.
Speaker 3: Let's see. Oh, so the kid is halfway up the
Speaker 3: tower when a bird scares him and he falls a
Speaker 3: few feet before his backpack catches on something, leaving him
Speaker 3: hanging up there.
Speaker 2: Arnold climbs up and rescues him, which which they should
Speaker 2: have left in the air. Chris is not going to
Speaker 2: be crisp standing underneath the tower his hands. I just like, looked,
Speaker 2: where is he.
Speaker 3: Just refusing to look up?
Speaker 2: Damn it?
Speaker 3: I can hear him, but I don't see him. So
Speaker 3: Arnold climbs up and rescues him, and then we cut
Speaker 3: back to the house with Dominic fast asleep. Arnold convinces
Speaker 3: Joyce to let him help her by letting her know
Speaker 3: that he's a shitty dad and then making.
Speaker 2: Out with her. Yeah, that's such an eighties movie. A
Speaker 2: woman is mad at you, how do you get her
Speaker 2: to turn around? You kiss her? Yeah, that's that's the move.
Speaker 3: It's not really, it's just it's a lot of passion
Speaker 3: built up and.
Speaker 4: Mouth.
Speaker 2: That was weird. I'm sorry that.
Speaker 3: So the next day at school, O'Hara joins Arnold in
Speaker 3: class and they teach the whole class about stranger danger.
Speaker 2: Actually, I was waiting for that. They didn't say stranger
Speaker 2: danger exists yet.
Speaker 3: I feel like nineteen ninety yeah it might not.
Speaker 1: I didn't hear that until I was an adult.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hopefully not to your face. Yeah no, no, no,
Speaker 2: parents nature.
Speaker 3: Some kid just started screaming.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm like, oh no, that did almost happen to
Speaker 1: be Once. I was at the playground here in San
Speaker 1: Francisco with my friend and his kid, and you know,
Speaker 1: playing around, and like some kid wanted to get on
Speaker 1: the swing and he's like, I want on there. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: right like just picked him up and put him on there,
Speaker 1: and his mom comes like running over like ah, I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's probably a really dumb idea. Sorry, you just want
Speaker 1: it on the swing.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm not banned from that part. I'm there.
Speaker 3: So meanwhile, in the principal's office, Crisp pretends to be
Speaker 3: a parent checking out the school for his child and
Speaker 3: gets a little tool.
Speaker 2: And the principal she's like, well he got a point
Speaker 2: yell that checks out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, surely on the level. Uh. When he arrives at
Speaker 3: the kindergarten class, he sees Dominic and is really excited
Speaker 3: for a second, but then he has to quickly hide
Speaker 3: when he sees Arnold.
Speaker 2: I was wondering at that point would he even recognize
Speaker 2: his child because he hasn't seen one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was, I thought about that.
Speaker 4: But the only reason that he which I think he
Speaker 4: says in like uh like the next scene, is that
Speaker 4: the only reason he recognized him is because like or
Speaker 4: thought he recognized him was because the kid's name was
Speaker 4: Dominic and that she wanted to name him Dominic.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's true, he found out.
Speaker 4: So yeah, so he would have any any kid named Dominick.
Speaker 2: He would have kidnaped that. Okay, they could have had
Speaker 2: two Dominison class now turns into like a switch Roog
Speaker 2: kind of funny movie, his second.
Speaker 1: Parent trap or some ship.
Speaker 2: Uh reverse parent trap.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, so uh it's like that gets a lot
Speaker 3: darker when you reverse. So he goes back out of
Speaker 3: the school to get a gun from his mother and
Speaker 3: then starts a fire in the library, presumably because he
Speaker 3: hates books. The fire alarm goes off, immediately, raising the
Speaker 3: suspicions of Arnold and O'Hara, but since they go outside
Speaker 3: and it's a real fire, they all head outside and.
Speaker 2: Which should be more suspicious?
Speaker 3: Yeah, and Dominic grabs Arnold's ferret. In the chaos, Arnold
Speaker 3: loses Dominic and he gets picked up by Crisp. But luckily,
Speaker 3: Arnold's class has been successfully turned into a bunch of narcs,
Speaker 3: so they all call out Crisp and Arnold.
Speaker 2: I was such a children the Corn moment where they'll
Speaker 2: just like turn up. I'm like that.
Speaker 1: There you go.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 1: See, I didn't even need to make that Stephen King
Speaker 1: reference earlier. I have to make one per episode. It's
Speaker 1: by legal allegation, but you did the work for me.
Speaker 3: Here, so oh yeah, So Arnold is pursuing Crisp. Joyce
Speaker 3: realizes that Dominic isn't with the rest of the class
Speaker 3: and then runs back into the building despite O'Hara's protests.
Speaker 3: As Arnold searches for Dominic, Crisp gets into an empty
Speaker 3: room and tries to explain that he's Dominic's real father,
Speaker 3: but Dominic doesn't believe him and starts yelling again, so
Speaker 3: Chris covers his mouth and runs.
Speaker 2: The best part of that is where he's like, I'm
Speaker 2: a fireman and the kid's like, where's your hat? And
Speaker 2: he gets so proud He's like, where's my hat? You
Speaker 2: can't fool this kid. This this kid is, This kid
Speaker 2: is so he knows I'm not a fireman. How does
Speaker 2: he know? He's a fucking genius. That's how.
Speaker 1: That's how he tricked my dog. When she like, you know,
Speaker 1: throw a street on the ground and she finds, I'm like,
Speaker 1: what a fucking smart girl, and fo my boy.
Speaker 2: So that actually pays off in the very next scene.
Speaker 2: Uh when I don't know if it's the next scene,
Speaker 2: but I'll I'll call it when it happens. Go ahead, Okay.
Speaker 3: Arnold finds Jason Rightman making out with a girl, but
Speaker 3: no dumb O'Hara tries to get back in the building,
Speaker 3: but the goddamn fireman won't let her.
Speaker 2: There a lot of teacher back in, but not a copy.
Speaker 2: You know, you got to stay out here.
Speaker 3: She tries to go around back, but is spotted by
Speaker 3: Crisp's mother, who hits her with a car.
Speaker 2: Happens to be there, wait the engine running.
Speaker 3: I only noticed that she's a cop, I think, because
Speaker 3: she pulls her gun out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's like o'harah, more like, oh, hit by
Speaker 4: a carra I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: No, I love that one.
Speaker 1: Oh hair line fracture in her leg.
Speaker 2: There you go, Oh hair I go again? Running people over. Chriss,
Speaker 2: you're up?
Speaker 3: No, I got nothing. I'm terrible. Uh So inside Chris
Speaker 3: runs into Joyce and they argue in the locker room.
Speaker 2: Okay, here here's the part we're just going back to.
Speaker 2: Like him thinking his kid's a genius.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, but because.
Speaker 2: He's so stupid, he actually says, how the hell do
Speaker 2: you get out of here? He's in a school.
Speaker 3: There are probably signs.
Speaker 2: It's not amaze, it's not a department store. It's not as.
Speaker 1: And where does he run?
Speaker 2: And then okay, yeah, go ah, no exactly where does
Speaker 2: he run into a locker room which no elementary school has. Okay,
Speaker 2: this is a full locker room with showers. Why this
Speaker 2: is elementary school that's never existed. Yeah, use that Goony's
Speaker 2: money for fucking civil infrastructure. Don't be wasting it on
Speaker 2: frivolous things like a locker room at elementary school. That's
Speaker 2: just what the hell?
Speaker 3: Oh say? So they're arguing in the locker room. Yes,
Speaker 3: Crisp hits Joyce, and this gives Dominic a chance to
Speaker 3: run away because he's a coward.
Speaker 2: Good call.
Speaker 3: As Crisp searches, Arnold stealthily enters the locker room and
Speaker 3: creeps up behind Crisp as he corners Dominic. When Crisp
Speaker 3: realizes Arnold is there, he turns Dominic into his hostage,
Speaker 3: threatening to shoot him and forcing Arnold to put down
Speaker 3: his gun. Just as Crisp goes to shoot Arnold, his
Speaker 3: ferret crawls out of Dominic's shirt, runs up Chris's body,
Speaker 3: and bites him in the neck, causing him to hit
Speaker 3: Arnold's leg.
Speaker 2: Aaron, remember when he asked if the fair had a name. Yeah,
Speaker 2: fairrest name is dais e manacause that fair it existed
Speaker 2: for no other reason than to bite this guy. Yep,
Speaker 2: it had no purpose in his Chekhov's fer it man exactly,
Speaker 2: and like what kind of farre is gonna sit like?
Speaker 2: It's sat in his coat through the whole plane ride.
Speaker 3: Exactly, It's sat in his kid's shirt through a whole
Speaker 3: sag fire that was so comfortable to be stuffed into
Speaker 3: this child's shirt. Ye, smoky hallway, Yeah, sprinkler's on and
Speaker 3: he's running down.
Speaker 2: The hall until he gets danger.
Speaker 3: No, until it sensed evil.
Speaker 4: It doesn't like ponytails, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: I wanted to agree with you all this, but I
Speaker 1: guarantee you my dog would do this exact same thing,
Speaker 1: because she fucking she loves me. She cuddles with me.
Speaker 2: Take her question.
Speaker 1: I get around my wife, she fucking she'll lunge at me.
Speaker 1: She's out front teeth, but she's bit.
Speaker 2: Is your dog inside your shirt right now?
Speaker 1: She's with my wife because it's like shot. She'd fit
Speaker 1: in there, I wish. But if my wife, if she's
Speaker 1: not around my wife, she will not sleep and she'll
Speaker 1: fucking sit there and stare at the door and then
Speaker 1: occasionally start howling like a wolf, like a oh, I'm
Speaker 1: like what the fuck? So I guarantee you my dog
Speaker 1: would do this, but not not for me. She would
Speaker 1: bite me if if.
Speaker 3: You were holding Laura off.
Speaker 1: Yeah something she should.
Speaker 3: If your marriage went really wrong. God knows whoicide it's on.
Speaker 3: Uh So, So the ferret bites Crisp in the neck,
Speaker 3: he shoots Arnold in the leg, and that allows Arnold
Speaker 3: to grab his gun and shoot Crisp multiple times.
Speaker 2: So a lesson learned Arnold.
Speaker 1: He's a liar.
Speaker 2: That farret does bite Yep.
Speaker 4: Also, Chris didn't die from the gunshot, he from rabies.
Speaker 2: Is that what you had?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah. So Joyce goes to find dominic as Arnold
Speaker 3: gets up, when all of a sudden, Crisp's mother enters
Speaker 3: the locker room. She shoots Arnold in the arm and
Speaker 3: he kind of runs away.
Speaker 4: While yelling no more wire hangers ever, like sorry.
Speaker 2: He ran away, like killing me, I'm here, I'm here,
Speaker 2: I was gonna say his Crisp's mom is like she
Speaker 2: he's got to be like secretly disappointed to her because
Speaker 2: she's running everything. Oh yeah, she's walking the street level
Speaker 2: drug dealer. She's getting the witness killed, she's fucking shooting
Speaker 2: the cop.
Speaker 3: That's why she wants her grandson so bad. She's like,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna skip right over my son and hopefully the
Speaker 3: next generation is.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's kind of like your mom takes care
Speaker 1: of all the ship for you. I don't want to
Speaker 1: go to work. Your mom's like, I'll get on the
Speaker 1: phone with him right now. Hey, Joe's not fucking showing
Speaker 1: up today, all right, Like all right, this is to
Speaker 1: see like we got it.
Speaker 4: Once Onceris Crisp grew up that ponytail.
Speaker 2: She's like, she's I failed, I failed to start over.
Speaker 4: We need to find your son.
Speaker 3: So Chrisp's mother is walking around the locker room. She
Speaker 3: finds her dead son.
Speaker 2: In locker room and in elementary school. I just need
Speaker 2: to drive that point home a little heart.
Speaker 3: Also, no, maybe it's a spoke. I was thinking the
Speaker 3: locker room seemed kind of steamy, like people were just
Speaker 3: using it.
Speaker 2: Yeah I did, didn't it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like that porn thing you guys are talking about.
Speaker 3: You guys are sick. So she finds Arnold in a corner.
Speaker 3: She's about to shoot him when all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: O'Hara shows up with a baseball bat and Louisville slugs her.
Speaker 2: See that could have been the bat that Joe was
Speaker 2: saying he should have bought a bat at the Toy
Speaker 2: Star exactly. That would have been Checkov's at or whatever
Speaker 2: the fuck am I calling. Now Good wins Evil is defeated, right,
Speaker 2: but Arnold's.
Speaker 3: Dying exactly so outside Arnold's class watches as he's loaded
Speaker 3: into the ambulance, and like, there's not much emotion in
Speaker 3: this movie, but for some reason, it fucking got to
Speaker 3: me when they focus on Zach silently watching Arnold get
Speaker 3: put into the ambulance.
Speaker 2: I don't know, okay, but also I know Organ has
Speaker 2: softened him up a little bit. But remember what a
Speaker 2: tough guy he was. He got shot in the leg.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, amb the arm.
Speaker 2: Extremities, look the John kimball. I know I would have
Speaker 2: walked it off. And that's that calling a day.
Speaker 1: Well he got soft John Kimple. I know that it
Speaker 1: wouldn't even been able to penetrate his muscles, which is.
Speaker 3: In the hospital. So we cut to the hospital now
Speaker 3: where we see Arnold recovering although he's clearly still got
Speaker 3: some head trauma because he's refusing to eat the jello.
Speaker 2: Right that a nurse's spoon feeding him.
Speaker 1: Hello, yeah, that's one of like three notes I got.
Speaker 1: He got shot in like one arm, his other arm
Speaker 1: works like white? Why does he like?
Speaker 3: I mean that's true?
Speaker 1: Why isn't he fucking.
Speaker 2: A really good ppo?
Speaker 3: Okay, So O'Hara comes in to cheat on her fiance.
Speaker 3: I guess which that just thought that was? It's so
Speaker 3: fucking weird because they kiss on the lips and I
Speaker 3: was like, right.
Speaker 2: I was like that on the cheek, the forehead, like nope,
Speaker 2: going for the lips.
Speaker 3: Arnold acknowledges that they are partners now before her fiance
Speaker 3: comes in and they invite him to the wedding.
Speaker 2: With what's for clumsy? Yes, pulled the cord and fucked
Speaker 2: up his legs.
Speaker 3: Does that happen? Do they put your leg in like
Speaker 3: a complicated police system? Would you need to have your
Speaker 3: leg elevated? I've only if you.
Speaker 2: Got shot at sure? Why not?
Speaker 1: I I don't know how he's a chef. He's that
Speaker 1: fucking clumsy.
Speaker 2: That he's got a rat it to him. But it's
Speaker 2: just for chef stuff. It doesn't help much.
Speaker 3: I was about to say, why does he write it
Speaker 3: to himself?
Speaker 1: Look, well, he doesn't have a lot of hair up there,
Speaker 1: so it's kind of hard to control what's going on.
Speaker 3: So O'Hara asks where they should send the invitation. Sometime later,
Speaker 3: we are back at the school, where Arnold gets to
Speaker 3: visit his class, who are all thrilled to see him back.
Speaker 3: Joyce hears the commotion from her class and abandons them
Speaker 3: to slice her off a piece of Kimball pie, and
Speaker 3: we freeze from him on a display of public affection
Speaker 3: that would probably get you suspended where I went.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But also we finally get the closure've been wanting
Speaker 2: that John Kimball will never ever see his estrange son again.
Speaker 2: He is traded several times, and that was just nope, yeah,
Speaker 2: what's son? Sorry, I got a new woman.
Speaker 3: Now he's a new son too, exactly for the.
Speaker 2: Fact that he's such an emotional time stump for him
Speaker 2: and now was just like no by stepfather.
Speaker 3: And we get one last gem from Lowell. As they kiss,
Speaker 3: he goes, oh, they're gonna do it. Good call.
Speaker 2: I think Lowell would have been more like, that's how
Speaker 2: you get aids would have been a little more characteristic
Speaker 2: of them.
Speaker 3: We wear the clap.
Speaker 2: That's not for the clap foles.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm stealing lady in time I see anybody kissing.
Speaker 3: You, wear the clap. All right, that's our movie. We
Speaker 3: go to the credits from here, which means that it's
Speaker 3: time for America's favorite segment. Joe Namath.
Speaker 1: Now we are going to do something extremely fun.
Speaker 3: We're going to play a wonderful game called who is
Speaker 3: My Daddy?
Speaker 2: And what does she do? Yes?
Speaker 3: Take it away, Joe. All right.
Speaker 1: So, not a lot of good ones in here, and
Speaker 1: Chris already kind of fucked up one of them. So
Speaker 1: I really only got two, not a lot of Richards
Speaker 1: in this movie, so it's kind of hard to you know.
Speaker 3: Oh damn, the well is dry.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So Kissing Boy is Jason Raightman, as you mentioned,
Speaker 1: which damn, what a fucking Your dad's like a director,
Speaker 1: and you're like, yeah, I want to be in the
Speaker 1: fucking movie. Let me make out with this girl closet Like,
Speaker 1: oh nope, I love the take dad, whoops this soon?
Speaker 2: Now the Dad's like, I don't believe you do it again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's ruining his son's love life forever?
Speaker 1: Should I cup her breast? Or what's going on here?
Speaker 2: That's my motivation.
Speaker 1: And the only other one I got is a best boy,
Speaker 1: which is Benny McNulty, which is of course the brother
Speaker 1: of former Baltimore City Police officer Jimmy McNulty. So damn, yep,
Speaker 1: got my wire, got my wire reference int me Stephen
Speaker 1: King reference in. I'm getting his Simpsons reference later and
Speaker 1: then I'm good.
Speaker 3: Then I am clocking out.
Speaker 2: One one note on the movie. Yeah. Originally, well originally,
Speaker 2: but they they had tried to get Bill Murray and
Speaker 2: then Patrick Swayze to play the leads. Patrick, and I
Speaker 2: could not imagine Bill Murray, Yeah running this movie. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because he's such a dry humor like, oh yeah, Patrick Swayze.
Speaker 4: Maybe dancing a lot, that would I know, it's only
Speaker 4: one movie, but still kicking, kicking the kids.
Speaker 3: I don't know, dances it Zach's dad, yeah, dad throat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would do great.
Speaker 4: How about we do some total free call because that's
Speaker 4: what it's segments. Hey, let's get into it. Let's do
Speaker 4: it yet about total anyway, I'll do it later.
Speaker 1: What do you want, mister Quaid? The same as you
Speaker 1: do remember, open your mind, open your mind.
Speaker 4: Okay, So basically all it is, by the way, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: for sure. Basically all it is is uh.
Speaker 3: Seven trivia questions. I think since there's three of you
Speaker 3: at seven, yes, well this is three seven questions.
Speaker 4: First of three wins, uh, and you buzz in by
Speaker 4: just saying your name and then that's it, right, I think.
Speaker 4: I don't know he was ever written down.
Speaker 2: But we do cutthroat, you guys. You guys play cutthroat
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 3: I don't know what that is.
Speaker 2: Like I would say Joe's name and then he's on
Speaker 2: the spot to answer it, and if he doesn't answer it,
Speaker 2: he's out.
Speaker 3: Oh that's out. We don't do that.
Speaker 4: That is a good idea, except that is Joe always
Speaker 4: wins just because Yeah.
Speaker 3: So maybe call it Aaron's name instead. All right, so
Speaker 3: I got seven questions?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and when you buzz in he stops reading.
Speaker 3: So yes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, So you might want
Speaker 3: to wait till you are sure you know what my
Speaker 3: question is. So question number one during who is your
Speaker 3: daddy and what does he do? There are two actual
Speaker 3: job titles named what are they? Joe Joe?
Speaker 5: Uh gynecologist and a electrician incorrect, anybody else count I guess.
Speaker 4: I don't remember gynecologists, aaron and gynecologist, and I know
Speaker 4: one of them describes the bank like it sounds like
Speaker 4: somebody that works for a bank, but they shouldn't.
Speaker 3: Say what they actually say the name of another job
Speaker 3: that's not the banker.
Speaker 4: Well, then that's not my guess. Gynecologists and a construction worker.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: People.
Speaker 3: Yeah, coologists is a very famous remember the famous.
Speaker 1: Guy of collegists Native American?
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, he was a kind of cologist Joe uh
Speaker 3: uh No, it was gynecologists and psychologists who oh right, okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: one of them says.
Speaker 2: I was going to say that, but I didn't think
Speaker 2: she said the name all right?
Speaker 3: That her dad helps people who have lost their feelings,
Speaker 3: I think is the way.
Speaker 1: She's described what psychology degree I have to use.
Speaker 3: I Question number two, what is O'Hara's favorite dish, Joe
Speaker 3: Joe uh.
Speaker 1: Pasta or spaghetti aglio olio basically olive oil pasta.
Speaker 3: Yeah, pasta what she calls it? Oh, I thought his.
Speaker 4: I thought it's like that was her nickname for him,
Speaker 4: a olio like and it's spaghetti that or passive that
Speaker 4: he made for her m.
Speaker 1: Olive oil.
Speaker 3: Question number three, What book did Arnold read to his
Speaker 3: son and his class?
Speaker 1: Fucking he?
Speaker 4: It was like, I don't need to know that I
Speaker 4: know the author Joe the lorax.
Speaker 2: U Dave gynecologists and psychologists.
Speaker 4: That's correct, noologists today.
Speaker 3: Quarterly, Aaron.
Speaker 4: I know that the author is A Milney, but I
Speaker 4: don't know what the book is.
Speaker 3: What is it that's the Is that the Winnie the
Speaker 3: Pooh guy?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm pretty sure, and I know that that's an author,
Speaker 4: but I don't remember the book.
Speaker 3: I know the book was called when we were very young.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it's like that.
Speaker 3: That's right. I was gonna make a killer's joke and
Speaker 3: I forgot to.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Isn't that the name of a music festival?
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, it's a it's a it's the killer song,
Speaker 4: but for like the kids, the team kids by or whatever.
Speaker 4: When we were very young. It's not a song killer
Speaker 4: song when we were young, when I was young, when
Speaker 4: you were young, I think when we were young.
Speaker 3: We were young, but the festival is when we were young.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, anyway, God.
Speaker 3: My question suck tonight. Let's see question number four. What
Speaker 3: is the name of Arnold's son and how old is he? Aaron?
Speaker 2: Aaron?
Speaker 3: He was thirdteen.
Speaker 4: And his name was Alex.
Speaker 3: That is correct, all right?
Speaker 4: I had written down like little stuff where I'm like, Okay.
Speaker 1: This could be a question anyway.
Speaker 3: Question number five? What airline do the detectives to Oregon?
Speaker 1: That one's Joe Alaska?
Speaker 2: Goddamn, last one, Joe.
Speaker 3: Question number six, This one sucks. What number is crisp
Speaker 3: in the lineup?
Speaker 1: Joey Joe five?
Speaker 3: That's Joe again.
Speaker 2: Goddamn, Joe takes it.
Speaker 1: What's the last question?
Speaker 3: What condition causes O'Hara to eat so much?
Speaker 1: And she's hyperglyce?
Speaker 2: Yeah, didn't say her name?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you lose My name is.
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 4: Anyway?
Speaker 3: Joe wins again.
Speaker 2: Okay, you tell me who is your daddy and what
Speaker 2: does he do? Get it? Okay, we start right here.
Speaker 2: You my dad doesn't do anything since the crash. You
Speaker 2: guys got favorite lines?
Speaker 4: Who wants to go first?
Speaker 2: I mean, I'll go classic. It's not a Tuma, it's
Speaker 2: best one. Wo Yeah, there's a couple of gus best
Speaker 2: the best one.
Speaker 3: It's amazing delivery, it stands the test of time, It's
Speaker 3: got everything yep. Uh, mine is not an arm of line.
Speaker 3: I really I when the first time I watched it
Speaker 3: and she said, if you were any stiffer, we could
Speaker 3: take your surface.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was That was one of the ones I
Speaker 4: wrote down. I think I gotta go with I have
Speaker 4: a couple of things like what happened your dog? I
Speaker 4: had written down, which was just made me laugh. But
Speaker 4: I really like, I really like my name is John
Speaker 4: Kimball and I love my car.
Speaker 2: Like that was really bizarre.
Speaker 4: Or there is no bathroom is good too?
Speaker 3: Anyway? Yeah, I was.
Speaker 1: I have to one when he's at the party in
Speaker 1: the club beginning, they're like, who are you? It's like
Speaker 1: I'm the body poopa.
Speaker 2: But uh the.
Speaker 1: No bathroom line is probably it, but it's not technically
Speaker 1: a line, but I canna read it anyways. You kids
Speaker 1: are soft, you lack discipline. Well I've got news for you. You
Speaker 1: are mine now you.
Speaker 2: Damn this is cough everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're the ones that are tough, not me. I
Speaker 1: could breathe, Holy, you belong to me. You're not going
Speaker 1: to have your mummies behind you anymore with the white
Speaker 1: pe little tushies. Oh no, it's it's it's time now
Speaker 1: to turn mush into muscles. No one complaining, No, mister Gimble,
Speaker 1: I have to go to the bathroom. Nothing, there is
Speaker 1: no bathroom. So beautiful rendition.
Speaker 2: I do love the way for I will say that
Speaker 2: like another line that I loved. It was not a
Speaker 2: funny line, but I still love when the kids said,
Speaker 2: my dad doesn't do anything after this, just the implication
Speaker 2: of what happened that.
Speaker 3: Fuck uh Yeah. A lot of good ones in this movie.
Speaker 4: Okay, and usually we usually we'll do a kill count,
Speaker 4: but like, what is it?
Speaker 3: It's four five?
Speaker 4: You got uh, Cindy Crispy Crisp made Yeah, not the
Speaker 4: not the grandma because yeah, so Cindy Crisp, the Danny Danny.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, the guy who he kills in the in
Speaker 3: the mall.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I thought there was one more that account.
Speaker 4: Oh oh oh the pencil, the pencil.
Speaker 3: That breaks.
Speaker 2: And also the guy, uh, the guy he stole the
Speaker 2: race car set from. He fell and hit his head
Speaker 2: on a concrete.
Speaker 3: Just bled out. People just walked right by that. It
Speaker 3: was terrible. When the big man was killed.
Speaker 4: You must have wounded it.
Speaker 2: It's flood was on the leaves pread.
Speaker 3: We can kill.
Speaker 1: It, so We're gonna rate this movie on a scale
Speaker 1: of one to five irons pumped. Please remember that there
Speaker 1: is this scale of arnold movies only, so if it
Speaker 1: because if not, who.
Speaker 2: The fuck gave raw Deal three point five? That's way
Speaker 2: too I see.
Speaker 3: It's probably guess less.
Speaker 2: You're out of line on that one too.
Speaker 3: Hey, listen to Joe spiel because it's not just about
Speaker 3: the quality of the movie.
Speaker 1: This deal with it is arnoldness. So uh, if we
Speaker 1: are ready, Chris, why don't you go ahead and get
Speaker 1: us started.
Speaker 3: I think I'm gonna put this movie at a solid
Speaker 3: four point zero because even though there's not like a
Speaker 3: ton of action, I think he's just so perfectly cast,
Speaker 3: Like they know exactly how to use him in all
Speaker 3: the right ways, the juxtaposition between him and the kids,
Speaker 3: him and the principal, like the fact that he is
Speaker 3: just completely out of his element, he can't like fight
Speaker 3: his way out of the most of the problems he
Speaker 3: has in this movie. I think this movie just uses
Speaker 3: him pretty perfectly. And again, Ivan Rightman just knows how
Speaker 3: to get a good comedy performance out of him. So yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: this one's entertaining the whole way through.
Speaker 4: Yeah, reminding me about Phil Hartman's line you can't bench
Speaker 4: press your way to this one, King all the way?
Speaker 1: All right, what about you, Dave?
Speaker 2: I mean even a three point five because it was
Speaker 2: it was good. He was perfectly Cassie's great. It's like
Speaker 2: the fish out of water, like this guy's a school teacher.
Speaker 2: But I feel like the movie itself got a little
Speaker 2: too heavy at times for me, and the kind of
Speaker 2: comedy was overall, So yeah, three point five is where
Speaker 2: I would rank this one.
Speaker 1: Interesting, what about you, Aaron?
Speaker 4: This is one of my favorite Arnold movies, and this
Speaker 4: is definitely my favorite of his comedies, even though I
Speaker 4: think I might like, sorry, this doesn't make sense, Like
Speaker 4: I think Twins might be a little.
Speaker 3: Better in her comedy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but this is like a nostalgia reasons this one
Speaker 4: I enjoy more probably, And the way it starts off
Speaker 4: with classic Arnold Yeah, like it's like a straight like
Speaker 4: action movie and then it like transitions all of a
Speaker 4: sudden into just this comedy, like a like a family
Speaker 4: comedy is awesome. And the lines you've got, all the
Speaker 4: classical lines are pretty like I didn't realize how many
Speaker 4: of the classic lines were in this, Like half.
Speaker 3: Of the Arnold soundboard is from this movie.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and he's I see, I would say I think
Speaker 4: I still think he does better as far as like
Speaker 4: a damn it. Now, I'm gonna drop the rating. I
Speaker 4: still think he does better as far as the like,
Speaker 4: I know, he's playing like a straight man in this,
Speaker 4: but I love him in Twins because he's playing kind
Speaker 4: of just a big do fist. I'll stick with the
Speaker 4: four anyway. I'm gonna go with the four. This is
Speaker 4: what happens when I want write stuff down. But it's
Speaker 4: also a lot shorter, so that's okay. Anyway, how about you, Joe.
Speaker 1: I think this movie is almost flawless. I think it's
Speaker 1: a great mix, much like Nick Bain's Let's Get Let's
Speaker 1: Get Silly. I believe it is a great mix of
Speaker 1: action comedy. Uh, and it's it's hard to like. I
Speaker 1: didn't even take much notes on this movie because I
Speaker 1: was just enjoying it, and like, you know, how do
Speaker 1: you know, with like Batman and Robin stuff, we can
Speaker 1: like make five million notes because we can make our
Speaker 1: own jokes and all that other stuff. This one he
Speaker 1: can't really do. But all that said, see, this is
Speaker 1: a tough one because it's not a four point five
Speaker 1: i'd give it. I'd also give it a four.
Speaker 2: All right, all right?
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, Like like you were saying, which i've I
Speaker 4: know I've mentioned, and I was telling Chris yesterday, I
Speaker 4: think it's way harder to write any sort of jokes
Speaker 4: for the comedies, except unless.
Speaker 3: They're like really bad.
Speaker 4: Like The Villain was very easy to write jokes for it,
Speaker 4: but that was not good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was also hardest shit to sit through.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't think I know that one.
Speaker 4: It's it's like the one he does with You've ever
Speaker 4: seen that picture of him with Kirk Douglas and Margaret.
Speaker 3: Like dressed as a cowboy.
Speaker 2: I don't think so. Well, that's it's right though you'd
Speaker 2: think so.
Speaker 3: It had, it had potential.
Speaker 4: They just it wasn't executed very well as far as
Speaker 4: like cause it was basically supposed to be like a
Speaker 4: Luntunes cartoon, but they just it wasn't very well done anyway,
Speaker 4: whereas like something like Maggie Man I it's just the
Speaker 4: serious stuff is so much more fun to write for anyway. Okay, sorry,
Speaker 4: you can give the score, which is is that right there?
Speaker 2: And a couple quick questions on this real quick. Yes,
Speaker 2: First of all, who gave Conan a point five? Because
Speaker 2: I might have to fight them?
Speaker 4: That was Brendan, because Brendan I for some reason, I
Speaker 4: mean I don't really like it either, but for some reason,
Speaker 4: like I was like, hey, you want to do the podcast?
Speaker 4: He's like, oh, sure, And I forgot to ask him
Speaker 4: if he actually likes Ramald Schwartzlayer, which he doesn't.
Speaker 3: Oh, that was my mistake and whatever, you need, you need.
Speaker 4: Something to balance it out.
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, second thing, did you guys, I don't
Speaker 2: know if you looked this up, but on Rotten Tomatoes,
Speaker 2: this has a fifty four percent, which I feel like
Speaker 2: is pretty low.
Speaker 1: Like what It also has a six point two on IMDb,
Speaker 1: which I feel is extreme.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like it's not I give a three point five.
Speaker 2: I think it's better than a fifty four percent. Like
Speaker 2: that's not sure it's better than that.
Speaker 1: Seriously, Yeah, I think it's like a kind of a
Speaker 1: damn near perfect movie, but that doesn't necessarily make it
Speaker 1: like the greatest movie. Else I would have given it
Speaker 1: a better than four. But like, I don't, I don't
Speaker 1: think there's anything right.
Speaker 4: I feel like it also probably didn't help that as
Speaker 4: far as like for maybe for the critics that it
Speaker 4: was coming off of Twitter Recall, which was probably definitely
Speaker 4: better with the action, and probably the jokes were probably
Speaker 4: it's just sillier and it wasn't it was.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because it's a completely different movie.
Speaker 2: He's trying to make a family conferent genre.
Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah, I know, I just like that's the
Speaker 4: only thing I can think of that maybe, and I
Speaker 4: don't know, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Well, he had already he had also made Twins before this,
Speaker 2: so they know he can do comedy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and Twins was a Twins Gout was rated like
Speaker 4: by the critics, I think, much better than this. But
Speaker 4: I also wasn't researching movies as well back then. So anyway, anyhow,
Speaker 4: that is going to leave it with a three point
Speaker 4: a sorry three three point seven five, which is going
Speaker 4: to put it below Predator, Running Man, Twins in Commando.
Speaker 1: But I guess I'm going through Peberdeacon right above six
Speaker 1: Day Last stand in Eraser. So it is sitting one, two,
Speaker 1: three four fifth on her anis Peditor now top five.
Speaker 3: I like our top five.
Speaker 1: It's pretty good.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, now that it knocked out the sixth Day,
Speaker 4: I'd say, like, I'm not ashamed of the top five anymore.
Speaker 1: I mean the other movies that we covered, like, I
Speaker 1: think six Days better than a lot of them.
Speaker 2: So what was the one where here was a sheriff
Speaker 2: in a small town in the land.
Speaker 4: Which is number which is what number seven?
Speaker 1: That movie is fun?
Speaker 2: That was fun.
Speaker 4: I like that one and six Day again, like it's
Speaker 4: just like a bad uh, a total recall.
Speaker 3: It's just like a dumb sci fi Yeah.
Speaker 2: So what uh do you got to see Gunther? No
Speaker 2: I have seen that yet.
Speaker 1: Okay, nope, that's on the list.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Anyway, all right, well, Dave, thank you very much for
Speaker 3: being on the show today.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: Do you have any plugs? Plug?
Speaker 2: Probably not?
Speaker 1: Well, how do the people find you?
Speaker 3: Got it?
Speaker 1: I mean they want.
Speaker 2: I'll find them on some of the socials.
Speaker 1: On shark at Isle half shark, alligator, half man.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. I just came up with shark at Isle
Speaker 2: back in two thousand and eight. I came with sharkadile
Speaker 2: because I figured that's the oltimate predator. And seriously, for
Speaker 2: for like years, if you googled shark at Isle image search,
Speaker 2: it would just be pictures of me nice from me
Speaker 2: from my Twitter because it's Shark at Isle. But since
Speaker 2: then it's just like everyone's done Shark. All I'm not
Speaker 2: even in the first page anymore. Stud first one.
Speaker 4: All right, And that's going to do it for this episode.
Speaker 4: But we'll be back soon with the production and promotional
Speaker 4: side of Kindergarten cop where we'll check out a few
Speaker 4: promo videos, but not before finding out a little behind
Speaker 4: the scenes trivia, such as stuff like which actors were
Speaker 4: considered for Arnold and Penelopim Miller's roles, as well as
Speaker 4: why Ivan Rightman almost in direct the film. Until then, though,
Speaker 4: please don't forget to leave us a rating and review
Speaker 4: on either Spotify or Apple Podcasts, because it seriously helps
Speaker 4: so much. But yeah, thanks for listening and class dismissed.
Speaker 3: If you enjoy our show, please consider giving us a
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