Speaker 1: Conny, gather round. Dirty Conny can join the questing Is
and Charted join the icy Blast.
Speaker 2: Six writers face off by a roll of the dice
felt quite dirty, leaving nothing behind but fingerprints and a
tall taiale stealing carts, breaking parts, with plenty of time
to kill Sicymasters.
Speaker 1: Tenislas ticing you know the Cabby Tasty Fasts.
Speaker 3: Come and join the dice Faster.
Speaker 4: Hey, there're Aan Devian's junior Avengers and friends. Welcome to
the next episode of The Dicey Bastard Season two. I'm
Mk Gibson, your host, dungeon Master and author of such
books as the action comedy Shadow Master series and the
post apocalyptic biblical cyberpunk series technom answer Man. Who do
we have with me today? The same cast that you
know and love. Let's start with mister Bevan.
Speaker 5: Rob How you doing, Hello, Kibby and friends. I'm doing
all right. My name's Robert Bevan. I write the Caverns
Creature series of comedy fantasy novels and short stories, and
here I play the role of Jewels, the sorcerer, the
sorcerer with the more serer.
Speaker 4: It gets better every time. And your better half, mister
Ball tiery, Rick, how are you, sir?
Speaker 6: As well as your acknowledge this that his better half,
you know, not necessarily his uh, his has more hair half.
Speaker 4: Qualifies for that his cane to your able.
Speaker 6: So I'm doing pretty okay anyway. My name is Rick
WALTERII and I play moog Feeseater in real life. I
write several things, but things may attention right now. Or
I have two new audio books out there, the audiobook
for bor War, which is part of my Crypto Hunter series,
and the audio book for Time Chasers Time Chaser not Chasers,
which is my brand new lit RPG.
Speaker 4: That's awesome, Stor congratulations man, Thanks Drew Hayes. You're up next, sir,
how are you?
Speaker 7: I'm fantastic. A horse walks into a bar and his
name is Cabert and he is a Druid.
Speaker 6: And I am an.
Speaker 7: Author writing books such as Superpowers, Npcspread, The Vampire Accountant,
and Roverpowered, the latest of which is coming out in
less than a month May fourth for Roverpowered number three
on audio and print.
Speaker 4: That is it's a mouthful, and congratulations to you as well.
Miss Kaplan. Your next now it says E M. Kaplan
is the e is there an M for middle just
shore for Emily.
Speaker 8: There is an M for a middle on the show
that if I tell you what it means, I'm gonna
have to kill you.
Speaker 6: I love it.
Speaker 4: Bring it on the Murder, Emily Murder Kaplin.
Speaker 8: So it said the M is for mushu, and let's
just go with that, all right, Emily gpt Here, I'm
playing Claudia the rogue Barbarian. I'm also the author of
Josie Tucker Mysteries and a bunch of shingles, which oddly
have been stolen by a lib gen. So I'm I'm
mixed feelings about that.
Speaker 4: Well, what's the mix though?
Speaker 6: Like, yay.
Speaker 3: Robot orteloads are just complete fucking idiots that.
Speaker 8: Choke on it.
Speaker 4: It's just it's like it's like a logic bomb. You
just to explode the air from the inside with shingles.
Speaker 3: Robert Bevin ghost in the machine, right, I.
Speaker 4: Love that And that that beautiful voice, ladies and gentleman,
belongs to none other than Steve whether or Steve how
are you sir?
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, givid. That was a lovely introduction.
Speaker 6: Very well.
Speaker 3: I had a hangover, so my voice is extra rich today. Yeah,
all right, I played Stan Dandy Liver, probably gonna buckle
some swashes or never really figured out what that meant,
but I imagine it's exciting. I wrote lots of things, Sonny,
and now you can find them the Chronicles of Calamity
comic book, issues one through four. It's now available on
Global Comics. You can go read that with the click
of a button. Amazing.
Speaker 4: That's awesome, so thank you so much. And now it's funny.
Is like I was listening back to some of our
other episode just to make sure remember whether what the
fuck we were doing, because it's been so long since
we played, and for previously were hungover sam Buca. What
was the drink of choice this previous night.
Speaker 3: Oh I didn't. I'm not too hungover. I don't stink
of sam Buca, not quietly.
Speaker 4: That's a positive. Then, all right, it's none of that
black and stuff.
Speaker 3: A little bit, you know, croaky, that's all okay, that's fair,
A little bit.
Speaker 4: Of VD, as you say, VD of my character before.
Speaker 6: We get into the game.
Speaker 5: We got that from the blackness, all right?
Speaker 4: That I accept that interruption before we get to the game,
and remind everybody that if you're not part of the
A and D family that you are missing out. Have
your pageon dot com slash Authors and Dragons and check
out the various tiers. For just two dollars a month,
you join our discord, hang out with fans, talk to us.
Five bucks months gets you more channels, more things, and more.
You can be the live audience like our friend is
right now who's listening to us? And we have plenty
of other things out there. Find our Authors and Dragons
dot com for our merch Tea Public ste excuse me, Rick,
do we have any other updates to the merch store.
Speaker 6: Once again, it is Authors and Dragons dot Dashery dot
com that is. That is the place to go. Is
the same great T shirts that Tea Public sells because
they run Dashery, except when you buy one from there. Well,
we make a few extra extra bucks which we can
then funnel back into this podcast.
Speaker 4: As our website point to that.
Speaker 6: Yes, of course it points to good.
Speaker 4: I said althors Dragons dot com. I feel correct. I
don't have to change the script, so I'm.
Speaker 7: Good that One follow up question, was there a domain
name that didn't sound like douchery or was that specific
for us?
Speaker 4: There was ash Face, but we couldn't get that one, so.
Speaker 7: All right, Yeah, Douchery Dasherie. Well you know what, I
bet they don't forget the name this time.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: It's like they could have come with like so many,
so many things there. It's like, okay, hey, we make
t shirts shirts tease Douchery dot comed Is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there were mother frocks, but you know that we
don't kind of have that. So anyways, order from Dashbag Universe,
Door Douche. All right, with all that shieling out of
the way, greetings, all this is Connie Stan's conscience. How
are you well? When we last left the dicey bastards,
they had just finishing finished battling two dire crocodiles and
the loneliness inside of them. Inside of them for Moog
and Georsho were reunited with their Ooh's based love child,
Henzo the giant hand, which stan In Cobert saw to
did almost immediately. Well could Claudia entertained herself by skinning
a giant reptile. The Jorisers tried to climb inside of
the crocodile, but first for some reason, we still don't
know why the rest of the team planned on how
to get aboard the Grand Whimsy, which floated two miles
off shore. Their plans basically came down to Cabert pulling
a boat across the water or sneaking aside of some crates,
but either planned, they still needed a caboat. A caboat.
They needed a boat. When Cobert was distracted by some
talking animals, the rest of the team took that boat
on a little joy ride, nearly got sucked into a
whirlpool and ended up on an outside a shipping facility,
not sure how to climb up one hundred foot face
into where they store the crates for the get onto
the ship move. Suddenly, remember they had a one man
flying carpet, and that's where we left off.
Speaker 3: Connie, Yes, yes, yes, I don't think it's just me
and Cobert who want to get rid of Hans. I
mean we haven't had like a team huddle about this yet.
I ain't getting strong.
Speaker 6: Vibes.
Speaker 4: Well, Staniel, you're not wrong. I was trying to be
polite about it. Claudia seemed to be indifferent. Joyce said
he wasn't gona leave his son. Move vacinated back and forth,
back and forth. So but no Hanso was also pretty
aware of these like eyes just found his father's and
he was not going to just leave just yet.
Speaker 6: Just be clear, Move did not vacillate at all.
Speaker 4: No, there was a great joke reading, are you trying
to get rid of my child?
Speaker 6: Stand alone?
Speaker 5: It was it was.
Speaker 3: I think Move can be persuaded very easily to get
rid of that awful prick.
Speaker 4: Jesus, that's a child, stand a child.
Speaker 7: Right here?
Speaker 6: Man giant.
Speaker 4: Just because he drools a little bit and he creates
masters and he's pretty.
Speaker 6: Much giant head. It's part gorcery.
Speaker 3: Yes, Jewelcer's fate is a democratic process. For enough time.
Speaker 4: We will get to the core group in a moment. However, Kibert,
when you were last seeing your teammates, you were standing
on this beach. They were looking at a You were
talking about potentially doing some water walking abilities with some
lance riding abilities and carrying that boat across the water
to the grand whimsy. Why messing around with all this ship?
The sun's in the evening time, the boat is leave
till tomorrow morning. You turned around because some bird caught
your attention, and you turn back around. Your team and
the boat are gone.
Speaker 3: Now Gibbie, I'm Law's experience that D and D is
the rest of the crew. But can Cobert actually turn
into a boat?
Speaker 4: I think? I well, I mean he's just he's a
different kind of druid man, I mean.
Speaker 7: He's built different. I guess we will see he's boat different.
Oh man, if this game ends with me turning into
a warship, h best D and D character.
Speaker 4: Everic this Metallicazna comes back and it's a transformer.
Speaker 7: So Cabert will let out a a weary, exasperated size
staring at the empty beach. No surprise, surprising.
Speaker 3: Well, all right, then did we even cooldinate? What did
we explain to Kibe? Did we leave it?
Speaker 4: The beautiful part was, unfortunately Drew had to leave us
in real life in the last game, and sometimes life
hands you lemons and you make that into lemonade. So no,
the in game and out of game not. You didn't
explain to Corbert that you were leaving. He just had to.
He just had to bounce for a second. And we
even said he got distracted by an animal. So uh,
part his problem, part yours. All I know is Cobert
has no idea where you guys are at I'm sure
we could figure it out. So let's se let's see
where this goes.
Speaker 7: Uh yes, I am quickly pulling up a list of
my wild shaping options, just to make sure I can
find something within my parameters.
Speaker 4: I will also say that there are there are plenty
of other animals around that you could possibly talk to.
Speaker 7: Fair enough, I will, I guess, look to the nearest
creatures and ask, did you see a group of people,
one of which was deeply horrifying and sweaty take a
boat anywhere around here?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 4: There, you know there's one of those little capuchin monkeys
up there. He's like, well, yeah, you have to really
define that, pal, because you're all kind of horrified us.
And he scratched himself and looking for Tea's looking for
fleas while he's also scratching his ass.
Speaker 7: So there would have been a powerful stink coming off
this one worse than the normal amount.
Speaker 4: Okay, you were here a little while ago that with
those people, and they took that, took the boat and
they went that way, and he points down the shoreline.
Speaker 7: Perfect, thank you very much. I will throw him a
good baryus things.
Speaker 4: Oh he snatches it. He feels very full and then
proceeds of shit himself. So yeah, that's a powerful I
mean that fools the full grown man. And that's a
capuchin monkey.
Speaker 3: So so I don't know who these berries are calibrated for,
but maybe not animals.
Speaker 7: I mean at this point now I'm just starting to
think of like, is they're higher levels of good barry
where I can make malicious good barrier.
Speaker 4: Well, you just got to think about it. Like they
tell you don't throw like things sorts, like you know,
like the old joke or the old rumor about throwing
aca seltzer to seagulls and things like that. You just
gave a full adult's meal to one thing that's about
the size of a smurf.
Speaker 9: So like, thanks boom, all right, I will begin walking
in the direction that was indicated.
Speaker 4: All right, you'll start trotting down the shoreline there a
little bit, and I'm out. You're just gonna hug the coastline.
You're not, you know, you're not gonna try to go
out to see I mean, also you don't. You also
don't nature. You know what you don't know nature? Give
me a nature role. Lets see what.
Speaker 7: Happened to wait, to be clear, did they did they
float this boat or drag this boat?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 4: No, they they they wrote it.
Speaker 7: Okay, brilliant, I was making sure. Sorry, what was the check?
Speaker 4: Give me a nature roll to see if you know
whether or not to hug the coastline or about this,
because we as Cobert is a is a is it
urban druid? He does not know nature very well. I
want to see how well you know to like I
got a three man fuck fantastic. Okay, we'll come back
to be in a little bit. Okay, I'm gonna put Cabert.
Speaker 7: Gives me time to figure out what I could turn in.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're also you've got to spell
up right, uh because you're water walking.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, but that's not a concentration.
Speaker 3: It's not.
Speaker 4: Okay, what's the time living on water walk?
Speaker 7: A few hours?
Speaker 4: I believe we've ever looked that up, just for my
own edification, because I'm yeah, yeah, I'm pulling it up
right now.
Speaker 7: Okay.
Speaker 3: It's just as well he knows how to water walk,
because his nature tech tells me that he doesn't actually
know what happens between the land and the sea.
Speaker 4: There is that yes, uh one hour? Okay, that's that works.
For me. Okay, water, all right, So.
Speaker 7: I mean, let me double check that because it's given me.
It's specifically referencing the stupid new rules. So I want
to make sure understood.
Speaker 5: We'll go.
Speaker 4: We go with the classics.
Speaker 7: Yeah, the ones who were actually playing.
Speaker 4: Not a problem. All right, I'm drag the rest.
Speaker 7: I'm gonna bring up the math for once, but.
Speaker 4: The rest of you guys, I'm gonna put the bucket
just so comber I can see. Oh sure, we ever
to see out of the boat. All right, this is
where you guys left off. You guys are the boat.
I can break your characters out. I'll get them in
a moment. But that's where you guys left off. You
were at the bottom of a sea wall, looking up
at this up at this fortress, like old fortress, where
they loading crates in and out of ongoing and outgoing ships.
You do know that eventually the Grand Whimsy will come
by and they're supposed to load cargo onto this vessel.
So you're you're one of your plans was to sneak
inside of the crates or just try to lock handso
into the crate.
Speaker 3: Your call, I will say to the team, Okay, chaps,
let's uh, let's get operation not Abandoning Handso.
Speaker 4: I like that's a pretty good plan.
Speaker 3: I think we're all agreed that that's an excellent, excellent
name for this operation.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would prefer not to be abandon.
Speaker 6: Operation Love Love HANSO look a sun forever.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I gotta leave you, you daddy, georgeuer.
Speaker 7: No all R.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna put you guys on the map there.
Speaker 7: There you go.
Speaker 4: It's just for I don't know, have you getting out
of the boats, because you guys were talking about climbing
up the walls. So if you want to move around
to Cabare, I'm mus putch up the dragon the side there.
Speaker 6: So so just for this one person flying carpet we have. Yes,
it's controlled by whoever's on the car, but we can't
control that remotely like say, for example, send somebody feet
and then road. No, it did come with just ask
it out of curiousity.
Speaker 4: This is a person who has spent time practicing, who
understands how the flying carpet mechanics work, who has expressly
told me that they've spent time practicing the flying carpet
and this will be their first time doing.
Speaker 3: It well, Jeecera has that distant whisper thing, So we
could put somebody on the carpet and Joelcera could telepathically,
you know, guide them from the ground as if it
was a trone.
Speaker 10: I'm just saying, I don't know if that works that way.
Distant whisper just yeah, you decided then, like go left.
Now the carpet disant whisper causes damage.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't have an idea that doesn't hurt someone.
Speaker 4: See the aberate mind feet where you can talk into
the bar. All right, yeah, oh yeah, sorry, remember that, Like,
the carpet's not just one person, it's a two hundred
pound capacity. It averages one person. You're not gonna usually
get two people, and Hanso is way bigger than two
hundred pounds.
Speaker 6: Think fancy no longer have felf. You take carpet up,
but before you get above there, you use illusion spelled
to create a distraction, like seagulls flying away elsewhere. So
if anyone is in warehouse, they're looking elsewhere.
Speaker 3: Well, I can create the illusion of a seagull flying,
providing it's in a five foot cube and is not
animated in any way, so they will be distracted because
they'll be thinking, why does that two dimensional seagull not
fall from the sky?
Speaker 6: Seagulls can glide, that's true.
Speaker 3: Car, Okay, hopefully they're really bored and that will work. Maybe, Oh,
look a seagull, will you know, distract them for forty minutes?
Speaker 4: I don't know, Uh, your car mate, however you want
to do.
Speaker 6: This, Moo could fly up and just murder everybody and
just dockworkers chests. Aren't they elves? So moog?
Speaker 7: Okay with that, that's always your suggestion.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's call that plan Moog, which we will get
to when friends a from not Moog fail. Well, let's
bring it to the table. Everybody, come on, huddle, huddle. Claudia,
you're supposed to be a rogue, but fuck knows what
you are.
Speaker 4: Any idea is you're coming from the huddle and Hans
opens this big stumpy stump hands around all of you
rushed hot.
Speaker 7: They're called thumb hand fans.
Speaker 8: So you said that Hamburger helper is too heavy to
get on the carpet and get up right because he's
over two hundred and whatever pounds.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and call it like glandular to problem.
Speaker 3: But yes, it feels like a giant sausage, doesn't it
carry on?
Speaker 4: It's warm as all your shoulders.
Speaker 5: I thought you were like you'd drop your Hamburger helper
on your carpet and trying to get the standout.
Speaker 8: Well, he is an upside down hamburger helper.
Speaker 5: I think right, yes, but I was really confused. I
thought you were like looking for carpet cleaning advice.
Speaker 3: Josra. There's a whole conversation we need to have about
stained removal, but it's not not what we're talking about.
Speaker 8: Now, Well, why don't we use the rug to individually
sneak up there and one by one with Hamburger helper?
Speaker 6: Going last sun Hunzo picked up sixteen ton crocodile with
hand magic. Why not he just lift us all at once?
Speaker 4: We have satellitician at last game. It four thousands orgie
of pounds of crocodile and I'm running out of spells.
And after one gets fifty feet away from me, it fizils.
Speaker 3: Oh, so I don't want him touching me.
Speaker 7: I want to throw out while we're still on the
Hamburger helper. I now feel like they're leaving money on
the table by not having an antagonist.
Speaker 4: To the myth shaped like Hanzo called Hamburger haters, felling like.
Speaker 7: Anoid style roll that's flipped upside down.
Speaker 8: With the big hole through it bad.
Speaker 4: You know, someone who's like, he's like trying to steal
the Hamburger helper. He's tired of this, you know, he's yeah.
Speaker 7: No, he's trying to like throw shit at it. He
fucking hates hamburger.
Speaker 3: He's rubbing it into the carpit like a dick.
Speaker 7: He has to be an inverse of the Hamburger helper,
who adds positive things to.
Speaker 4: Like a hindrance.
Speaker 8: Well, you guys are all standing there. Can I test
out the carpet and try to sneak up or h.
Speaker 4: Well, it's it's in moods possession, it's in his it's
in his bag of holding mobile.
Speaker 5: Hand it over.
Speaker 6: She wants it.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I want to try it.
Speaker 4: So now that it's now, that's now that you see
it unfurled, it's much smaller than your standard like uh,
flying carpet. It's more of like a flying towel.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 4: It's a kind of a basal. Let's have a beach towel,
you know. So it's it's definitely a one person towel
kind of thing.
Speaker 8: So so like a skateboard.
Speaker 3: We want to try this out. Somebody told us it
was a flying copy. It could just be a towel.
Speaker 6: Well, then that'll be easy to test because you'll just
be standing on the ground on a towel.
Speaker 4: All right, So Claudia, he hands you over the flying towel.
We'll call it that.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I want to try it.
Speaker 4: Okay, you stand on it, you sense the magic. Uh,
It's definitely magical. You are aware of it. Uh, and
it seems to it's ready to react to your commands.
Have you ever written on a flying carpet or anything
any kind of arkana based anything in the.
Speaker 8: Past other than growing up in a circus?
Speaker 4: No, okay, this will be fantastic. Okay to me a favorite.
Just this is not gonna keep you from flying. It
is just gonna understand how you are. It's kind like
you're getting on a skateboard for the first time. Give
me an oarconnor roll.
Speaker 7: Key.
Speaker 3: Wait, you grew up in the circus? Yeah, what do
you use some gett of clowns? Uh?
Speaker 8: Well whatever, yes.
Speaker 3: Well that makes sense. Satisfied. We really should have a
catch up. Claudia has a lot to talk about. You're fascinating, passing, terrifying.
Speaker 4: Five. Okay, this this is gonna go well for you,
all right? So yeah, okay with a five, you you
are aware of this thing. It's supposed to fly. So
do you mentally commanded to go up?
Speaker 8: Yeah? Go, web go.
Speaker 4: Okay, you rockets up, super high, super fast. You have
no control over it.
Speaker 3: Do me a favorite, just well, she's dead.
Speaker 4: Over on the left side. Uh, there are will be
two D tens or I actually know what a D
one hundred if they if that's an option, Like, yeah,
there's a D one hundred. Rolled me a D one
hundred twelve that's how many feet he goes up on
the ground. Up, So it's now twelve feet off the ground.
And give me a acrobatics roll to see how well
you maintain your balance. Okay, you've never done this before.
Speaker 6: Eleven.
Speaker 4: It's average. You're just you're just keeping your balance on
a skateboard. So that's that's perfectly average. You're perfectly fine.
So you're twelve feet off the ground, but you've maintained
your balance. Everyone's kind of looking up at you, and
Hans is ten feet tall, so he's only like, I'm
a high lady.
Speaker 6: How you doing?
Speaker 4: Pats you on the leg?
Speaker 6: Okay, I have an idea. So I have those those
boots walking all over you, and it says I can
I can target anything within sixty feet. It doesn't say
necessarily sideways. So can I use that to rocket up
sixty feet and then cast misty step to get ther
rested away?
Speaker 4: Well, it's one hundred foot sea wall, so you can
go sixty f feed up at something. You have to
make an attack role it's something, Uh, you'll attack it
and then you will miss the step thirty feet you
you just have to miss. You have to try to
catch onto the edge of the lip.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but what if I if I what if I
start off doing that standing on Hansos shoulders since he's
ten feet tall.
Speaker 4: Uh right, there's gonna be some roles involved here. So like,
I'm all for this plant, but there's a very good
chance you're gonna fall a hundred feet to the ground, so, uh,
this could happen. Like, I'm for it, I'm do you
want to stand on?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 8: Am I still just hovering here?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Do you want to me? I mean, if you want
to like try like like right, we don't have a
turn order per se. If you want to try going
up higher again, give me another Arcona roll and.
Speaker 8: Yeah, well he's doing that. I'm gonna keep going.
Speaker 4: Give me another Arcona roll to see if you get
feel for it. That's much better now. Uh so you're
gonna you want it to go up again, so now
roll me, uh roll me the roll me the D
one hundred. We're gonna have it because we're trying to
control we're how high you want it to go?
Speaker 8: Fifty seven?
Speaker 4: So give me half of that, so anywhere between that
you can go anywhere. That was a good role in
the Arkana. So how high within a fifty seven feet
do you want to go?
Speaker 8: Well, how high is the loading dock?
Speaker 4: Well, just to the base of that top of that
top wall below below the sea wall, to the top
of the ground up there is one hundred feet up.
So oh okay, So if you want to go if
the full fifty seven you are, now it's sixty nine.
Speaker 8: Okay, Yeah, she's just she's gonna just keep trying to go.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna put I'm gonna put on your littlecharacter here.
I'm gonna bring you up here, and where's your on?
The little blue thing will put sixty igel I know
how many feet up you are actually at, so just
that's for me to know, got it? Okay, uh, Moog,
you get on top of like Hanzo's shoulders. Okay, daddy,
I'll hold you hot.
Speaker 7: Here you go.
Speaker 3: Did Moog actually explain any of his plan out loud?
Or are we just watching move climb ahead?
Speaker 4: You know that's a very good question. Move did you
ask anybody? I've I just kind of went with it.
Speaker 6: So well, we'll explain it like movie's gonna climb on
the hand then then drop kick sixty feet up, then
caret spell and go rest away.
Speaker 3: Can't fell well, it can severely, But I like your maximog.
I'm going to tie my rope to joustrack. Can I
borrow your rope? I like rope?
Speaker 6: Do I have rope?
Speaker 3: So? Is anybody gonna eat rope?
Speaker 4: Well, if you look around those like those giant loading cranes,
they all ropes stangling down, but they kind of go
over out to the sea, so you have to kind
of swim out to where the waters and climb up
those ropes if you wanted.
Speaker 3: To, Well, maybe if Jossers of Moog's magical double jump
doesn't result in him plumbing thing to the ground, maybe
he could take a rope with him, one hundred foot
rope if we tie two ropes together.
Speaker 4: Your call. So you're standing on top of Hanzo. What
are you doing next?
Speaker 3: Well, I realized ropes perhaps not the sexiest of solutions.
Speaker 4: No, I just want to know what you got because
we're gonna hit back to Drew because he's he's wandering
around the ocean here. So how about you know what,
while you guys figure out your play, I'm gonnama jump
over to Dreui real fast. All right, Drew, you end
up here, you've kind of hugged the coast, but there's
also some little islands here. You think you're going in
the right direction, You're not one hundred percent sure, So
I would like another nature role to figure out just
where you should probably go.
Speaker 7: Too.
Speaker 4: Mother God, this is so great, okay.
Speaker 7: It is, but I should warn you I am about
to shape change.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: So I like the idea of just a holest man
walking calmly into the ocean.
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, you think you have a good idea, And
you said, you know what, maybe these guys went around
the islands because you know it just you know, maybe
that's what they would probably do. So you end up here.
You were slightly away from the coastline. You forget that's
the best way to go. So that's where you're at now.
Speaker 7: All right, Uh well, I'm gonna start running back toward
the coast at top speed, and about ten feet on
I'm going to leap into the air and shape change. Okay,
so imagine like I had a more pretty vision in mind,
Thanks for fucking that Kivvy. Sorry, but like a Beaches
style thing where he's running down with his uh horse
horse swives flicking foam into the air, spreading his arms out.
I think, like like the ending of a pretty movie
where he's about to get hit by a truck. He leaps,
he turns into a bat and flies one hundred feet
in the air.
Speaker 4: I was just going to do like the Rocky moment.
You guys running on the ocean all awkwardly and short
shorts like they way too short for the times. Okay,
you go to a bat and uh, you know, are
bat's good during the day. I don't know, we'll find
out they're fine.
Speaker 7: They had I checked their perceptions and everything. They're good
and they have blind sight.
Speaker 4: All right, So you are flapping around looking for your friends,
and at that high view up you eventually you know
what you eventually do. Give me, give me a couple
of perception rolls.
Speaker 7: Alrighty, you take me a while to figure out I
could fly. That was the main hiccup twenty four within
twenty seven.
Speaker 4: Perfect, all right, you spot these idiots there and they're
trying to do something, and you start flapping your way towards.
Speaker 7: Them, not too towards them.
Speaker 6: Yeah, let me know. Here's a drew.
Speaker 4: You're on the map. You let me know when you
want to show up. Okay, moog, what's your planing?
Speaker 7: All right? Fair enough?
Speaker 6: Well, if they're going to tie two ropes together, I'll
take those ropes with me. Okay, good luck, Moog.
Speaker 3: I don't understand what you're about to do, but it
sounds like it might be entertaining.
Speaker 4: Now, didn't you already use the boots of walking already? No,
you tried to use them. You were pinned it on
the crocodile and you could click your heels together. Okay,
just make sure, all right? So what are you targeting?
Speaker 6: Although I can only do misty step once a day.
I think i'd used that during the crocodile fight. I
believe you did as well, So okay, I like to
think you doesn't remember this.
Speaker 4: So now you could probably target Claudia because she is
sixty nine feet up. You could target Claudia and get
on top of her. Now was slowly dragged down the
uh uh the thing, but you could jump onto the
cliff face if you wanted to.
Speaker 6: What's that gonna do?
Speaker 7: I don't know.
Speaker 4: You're you're over sixty feet up. You can climb the
rest of the way up, you carry, You've got your attach,
you got a rope with you, you can help your friends.
Speaker 7: Out, and if you land badly, maybe you leave an
entertaining smear.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what I'm going with.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm thinking. I'm thinking that that I don't have
misty step to fall back on.
Speaker 5: Maybe I'm going to rethink this idea.
Speaker 3: Okay, Ah, well, that's disappointing. I was looking forward to
seeing whatever the fuck it was he was going to do.
Speaker 6: Although Jeorgeerer has missed misty step, and I could load
him the boots, it.
Speaker 4: Would take him an hour to attune to them.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I don't want to do that. No, my
plan was to watch you fall.
Speaker 4: Now like again, these there are these giant cranes that
reach out into the water because that's some deep water
out there where these boats come up and get stuff
loaded in loaded out. So you could go out to
see a little bit and try to climb up those
ropes and then climb in over the cranes if you
want it to.
Speaker 8: Come on, people, I only have thirty one more feet
to go.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know what, Claudia, go for it. Yeah, fuck it.
They're ticking around.
Speaker 6: Scream up till they can it to Claudia, turn on, Crean,
try us up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Claudia, try and get the rope. So it's not
in the ocean, CLAORDIAA Claudia, get the.
Speaker 4: Rope, all right, Claudia. So give me another Arcona roll.
Speaker 8: Okay, there we go.
Speaker 4: Nine not as good Romeo D one hundred. This one's
gonna go wherever many feet this goes.
Speaker 7: It goes OOKI.
Speaker 4: Thirty You are at ninety nine feet in the air.
You rocket it up straight up, and now give me
give me an acrobatics rolls to make sure you maintain
your balance. Claudia, come on, come on, CIRs twenty Oh shit,
you like you handstand? You're looking good?
Speaker 5: So you are?
Speaker 4: You are one foot away from like now. Granted you're
straight up from where you were, so you're not quite
over to the cliff face. You're just one hundred feet
straight up where you're at. So you could try to
nudget in that direction. You can get it to go
in a direction if you wanted to. Right now, you're
just focusing on up.
Speaker 8: Yeah. Yeah, she wants to think.
Speaker 6: Claudia is at least a foot tall, so yeah.
Speaker 4: But she's also like big looking. Where she's on the map,
she's at least fifteen feet away from the edge of.
Speaker 6: The of the cliff wall.
Speaker 4: So does she want to go to the cliff wall?
Does she want to go up higher to the crane?
Speaker 5: Where?
Speaker 8: Does she want to go a little closer to the
cliff wall?
Speaker 3: Okay, stand all nudge jewel sir and say I think
she's abandoning and it's like we're a bunch of knucking
handzos or stuff.
Speaker 4: I'm right here.
Speaker 3: That's not cool, man, Hey, she's the one doing it. Uh,
we're still here for your buddy.
Speaker 8: I don't put words into my mouth, except that's probably
what I'm thinking.
Speaker 4: Okay, So you would have tried to drift towards the
crane or towards the wall, because there's still a fortress
up there. There's still fortress, has another twenty five foot
wall on top of that.
Speaker 8: So let's go to the wall. Okay, So I trust
this thing, all.
Speaker 4: Right, give me, give me an arcona roll to get
now you've got up. Now, let's even go nudge direction. Come,
you know what perfectly? So it's only fifteen feet you
could take it. You can take yourself clearly in right
to the edge. Right there, you are at the lip
of the thing pretty easily.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it looks like a very visible spot. Can I
get in towards toward the edge of the whatever it
is the wall that?
Speaker 4: Oh? Yeah, you can? You get right up against the
wall there against the cliff fish. I guess the fortress
not a problem.
Speaker 6: Okay.
Speaker 5: We probably should have sent some rope up with her.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it would have been pretty handy if you'd taken
that road.
Speaker 4: You can just drop that.
Speaker 5: We do have we do have two flying flying familiars
here we're going to send up with rope.
Speaker 3: I don't like them.
Speaker 4: Do you like him more than me?
Speaker 8: No, you said, there's a bunch of like ropes hanging
down right.
Speaker 4: They see there's big cranes to the like to the left,
and there's three of them. Well, there's ropes that come
off the edge of as they go out into the water,
So you can you can climb up the side of
the what's it called here, or you float up and
try to operate one of the cranes if you wanted to.
Speaker 8: Okay, how many more feet feet up?
Speaker 7: Oh? I really hope this sends with bigger operators climbing first.
Speaker 4: Okay, that's okay, give me ah, give me athletics roll.
I think we lost out.
Speaker 6: I think we lost She's like, screw this, I'm not
rolling the dice for you, and she quit on us.
Speaker 4: So well, Emily resets her internet or whatever. What does
everyone else want to do?
Speaker 5: Just watch to see if she full those two ropes together.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, that just this sid.
Speaker 5: I'll send up what's his name?
Speaker 6: Jimp?
Speaker 4: Yep, you sen send up your jymp not a problem.
Speaker 5: Yeah. If whoever's got the rope, yep, we'll allow me.
Mooke has the rope, so all right, hey, jimp, go past.
This to Claudia.
Speaker 4: Okay, boss, I got it, and Jimp takes the rope
and just flies straight up. He'll sit there. It takes
a moth. He does a little spiral his way up,
and he's saying that Claudia is a current looks at
you in a climb and he's just trying to handle
the rope and she's not doing anything else whatever else
want to do while we're waiting for Claudia to come back.
Speaker 3: Sort of made that look a bit easy. Didn't he
feel a bit silly now? To be honest, what about
your horrible beast moog? Can that also be useful? Or
is it just stop me?
Speaker 6: That's mook son you're talking to.
Speaker 3: No, do you have a one the one that looks
like sentients not?
Speaker 6: Karen can turn into a bat and fly.
Speaker 3: Amazing.
Speaker 6: Do you want to do that?
Speaker 4: Or do you want to just flap around here?
Speaker 7: You know?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 6: Do you want to do?
Speaker 3: Hands out? All I want you to do?
Speaker 4: That was Karen the cue the quoset. Sorry, I have
so many voices my repertoire, so.
Speaker 3: I will not finish that sentence.
Speaker 4: Go fuck myself.
Speaker 6: I got it, Karen.
Speaker 3: I think what we're going to try and do is
climb up this rope. If there's any way you can
sort of make that easier for us.
Speaker 4: The rope Jim just took. There's no rope anymore.
Speaker 6: So was he not?
Speaker 3: Does he not understand why we wanted to take the rope?
Speaker 8: I think I was unconscious. Did I make it?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 4: Well, well you just you just got back.
Speaker 6: So what did you?
Speaker 4: Did? You roll me in athletics role to try to
climb the wall?
Speaker 8: Oh okay, there you go.
Speaker 4: You get up for a couple of feet and fall
back on your ass.
Speaker 8: Well, okay, now you look.
Speaker 4: To your left and there is a little demonoid trying to.
Speaker 3: Hand remember your clown training.
Speaker 4: I am that's the problem, hey lady, they sent this
rope up to you is if you want to do
something with that, here's the and he just hands you
over the end of the hundred foot of rope.
Speaker 8: I could die it not I could do that.
Speaker 6: I guess what.
Speaker 8: I don't know another rope? I guess how about one
of the ropes coming down from one of the crane.
Speaker 4: That's twenty five feet up. You got to get up
there to tie it to that one.
Speaker 3: First of all, why don't you tie the rope to.
Speaker 8: The flying cowl, flying cow, Did I miss something?
Speaker 3: The towel you're at the cop oh towel?
Speaker 8: Yeah, oh, but don't you have to be on it
to control it?
Speaker 6: You know, you could just throw the towel down to us.
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, I'm throwing in the towel, guys, I got you.
Speaker 4: Are you guys screaming this back and forth to each other?
Speaker 7: Up and down?
Speaker 6: Okay, I could do this.
Speaker 7: I like to think that this is the point when
my bat right here's This.
Speaker 4: Is also the point where the total guards who work
up here, like you've been walking the bridge, like, what
are you guys doing?
Speaker 3: Stan, Daddy Liva will make me an illusion of a seagull.
Speaker 4: Oh god damn, look at that just gliding majestically. You
see that thread? I saw it, Steve. Wow, that's a
majestic flying sea. What are you doing, lady? Because like
the one turtle turtles looking down at you from the
top of twenty five foot well, he sees you there
with a rope in hands, hovering on top of like
one foot off the ground, on a flying carpet, like,
can I help you?
Speaker 8: Yeah, she'll see. I was loading loading boxes and cranes
with you guys up there, and I fell over the edge?
Can you help me up?
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 6: No, you weren't.
Speaker 4: Man, that's a bald faced lie. There's there's only turtles
who work up here, and the and the war forges
who load the things inside. So that is no, it's
not a racist. It's a specist. It's it's it's the
new guns and drives. We don't talk about racist's a specist.
And yes, ma'am, I am.
Speaker 7: Hey Gimby, we still play old five.
Speaker 6: You know what You're right, Drew. I'm just like God damn.
It was like, yes, I am a racist.
Speaker 3: That's incredibly racist hiring policies, and also, fuck you.
Speaker 4: Welcome to Pharimia. We are profoundly racist here, ma'am. So
can I help you with something? Uh? What is it
you are exactly trying to do?
Speaker 5: Here?
Speaker 8: You're offering help, But what what kind of help are
you going to offer? Can I choose from help?
Speaker 4: It really depends on what you're trying to do that
will help that. Your options really depend on what is
that you're trying to do.
Speaker 8: I'm trying to get up there to see what you
all are doing. I'm just curious.
Speaker 3: She's uh a total see us or just see no,
because now he's because it's he's on a so he's
one hundred and twenty five feet up.
Speaker 4: You guys are along the sea wall. He can't see
down over the edge.
Speaker 3: So I will nudge next with sort. I don't think
Claudia is going to be able to talk away out
of this because she has all the detacked of a
break in a pile of dog shit.
Speaker 7: So we need to plan, guys, well, talk or quote
unquote talk.
Speaker 4: He does know that she's screaming down to somebody on
the other side. He just can't see you, so he
knows he has accomplices.
Speaker 6: No, I think we got an idea here. Google scream
up like screamings and like and terror help save us
from horrific head monster the crawl out of the sea.
Speaker 3: Claudia, I think it's time to tell them the truth
that we have been sent from uh non total union
security testing forces to make sure that everything here is
running smoothly.
Speaker 8: Wait a minute, if we're testing the security, they're not
going to.
Speaker 5: Let us in.
Speaker 4: It's also like you also, you this is one hundred
feet up.
Speaker 3: You're like, I will nudge your sir, and say use
your creepy mind touching powers.
Speaker 5: That's kind a range of thirty feet.
Speaker 4: Say, lady, listen, are you trying to sneak into the warehouse.
You're trying to steal from the warehouse.
Speaker 5: Steal. You have to sneak in to steal.
Speaker 8: Who said anything about stealing? I don't steal.
Speaker 4: That's our average day. People try to sneak into the
warehouse because they try to get onto ships that way.
They try to get on boards and they get on
sneak on the different vessels going different places, or they
try to steal from us. We kill thieves, and if
you pay us a little extra, I'll get you on
a fucking boat you want.
Speaker 8: Lady, okay, yeah, get us on the boat we can.
Speaker 4: Who's us? Yeah, okay, who's me and my.
Speaker 8: Really pretty for other girl friends.
Speaker 4: Lady, I got a wife and a ball. She's a
ball break because I.
Speaker 6: Don't really give a ship.
Speaker 3: Also, I have a total.
Speaker 4: You got friends down there.
Speaker 7: The relationship between the teenage muting and Trols and April
O'Neil clearly makes it sure. Yeah, all right, that is
not a deal break.
Speaker 4: As long as you're willing to pay I don't really
give a ship.
Speaker 3: I'm still picking the old, the old days when lizard
women have tits for some reason, you know why, because
it's cool, right new D and D rules.
Speaker 8: She's gonna say shoe because they're ugly as fuck. All right,
let's get them up here.
Speaker 2: We'll pay.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So he gets the crane operator like, hey, Jimmy,
I'm on it.
Speaker 6: I'm on it.
Speaker 4: J crane comes down with a basket that's an a
raging platform that comes down to the beach. Get on board,
you idiots.
Speaker 7: I did it.
Speaker 8: I don't know where we're going to get the money, but.
Speaker 7: I did it.
Speaker 3: Well, that was easy, I suppose.
Speaker 4: So do you guys go up the crane?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 6: All right?
Speaker 4: So all right, he takes you up the crane and
loads you, brings you all inside, and drops you off
into the interior. Here, Julia's a bat. You're just watching
this happen.
Speaker 7: So yeah, I'm basically watching to see if they're going
to get into a giant fight or peacefully resolve the situation.
Speaker 4: Understood, all right, So you guys are in, said, all right,
what ship you're trying to get in onto? And I'll
tell them how much and we're gonna charge you.
Speaker 8: We're trying to get into the Whimsy, which is going
to Scranton.
Speaker 4: I don't think it's Scranton, but it stocked him and
it's the Grand Whimsy. Okay, I got you, all right?
So how many people we got there? We got there?
It looks like a red man, you, the bear lady,
the old Kajur, the elf, and a hand monster.
Speaker 6: All right.
Speaker 4: Uh, you got to do little magical things here. I've
seen those before. They could probably pop in, pop out.
You got anybody else?
Speaker 7: Was that it?
Speaker 3: How exactly do you intend to get us on the
boat without tickets.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna put you into a crate and they're gonna
combine the morning, and then we're gonna load up all
the cargo into the Grand Whimsy and you're gonna be
on the ship after that, your business.
Speaker 3: Pal, hmm weird. That was Hanzo's idea.
Speaker 4: She I told you, God, Jimmy, I told you that
totally industive party. You already had this plane. That was
your backup plan because I knew the guys were corrupt.
You never listened to Jauf.
Speaker 3: No, No, we don't.
Speaker 7: He has only been here like a day.
Speaker 3: He's a very very presumptious young man. I don't know,
do we want to bribe people again and feel like
we've already done that?
Speaker 4: Ahright, listen, it's it's one hundred golder person. All right,
I'm sure you've got that money. I'm looking at your
man magical fancy gears and all that shit. So yeah, sure,
not a problem.
Speaker 3: You know, I got to say, well, you say, my
total friend, I'm really here for the adventure, practically dead already,
and I've kind of already done the bride finger a
couple of times, not really feeling it anymore.
Speaker 4: Hey, can I sweeten the pot for you?
Speaker 5: Hey?
Speaker 4: Hay, and guy, are you you look like a magical
walking monster creature? You do you need work? Because you
look like the kind of guy that I could put
to work in a factory in a warehouse like this, Dad,
I don't leave my dadge.
Speaker 3: Well, you've got to fly to coop at some point,
young man. Stop making a name for yourself in a
I guess box lifting. What do you think Moog will
be said to see you go? But Moough will his
heart will swell knowing that you have gainful employment.
Speaker 4: Donny, George? Or should I stay at work with a
weird turtleman. Or should I come with you on grand
adventures in whimsy? Uh?
Speaker 5: I can't really see a better future for you than.
Speaker 4: Oh that hurts my heart.
Speaker 3: Look, HANSA, not everyone can be a YouTube Orge venture
or whatever. The equivalent of that is steady employment in
a blue collar industry with a strong total based union
is a is a respectful life. You can stop building
a life for yourself, Hans. Frankly, I'm very proud of you.
Speaker 8: I swear I just had this exact conversation with my
kid yesterday.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we all have, we will we will.
Speaker 6: Been that and Moog promise if we come across more
horrific ooz, maybe Moog will dip a foot in. Therefore,
you could find someone to be happy with. You might
meet a nice lady set of genitals.
Speaker 5: Monster.
Speaker 3: I'm almost certain you will. I believe you know. Hands out,
and then I'll say to the tool to okay, the
trade is one huge horrible handbast for her passage on
the Whimsy.
Speaker 8: On this very special episode of My Two Dads.
Speaker 4: All right, so I would like Moog and George for
to give me persuasion rules.
Speaker 3: Okay, I think we've made a very solid argument move rules.
Speaker 6: An eight.
Speaker 4: Oh and Jorcer like six and an eighth.
Speaker 7: I wroted a nineteen Oh yeah that was Moog who
had the six in the eighth.
Speaker 4: Oh okay nineteen okay, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 7: I mean Georger convinces the world to let him live
in it every day. That's something I could be very persuasive.
Speaker 4: Okay, So like like Moog's not helping much here, like
you know, and eight it's like, oh that hurts my feelings,
Like what you really think? Daddy Georges are on shy
stay and just work. I mean you get to go
on adventures. I mean, yeah, you know you already remember
I already killing the other turtles and I ate them,
so I don't want to be I I got to taste,
I got the flavor, and now you have a supply.
Speaker 7: I love the idea that we're condemning these tortles to
an alien style movie death.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but also setting up, you know, a child of
gainful employment and.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're gonna go up the ranks after he eats
all the other employees.
Speaker 6: People choice.
Speaker 7: Yeah, That's when I'm gonna climb the ladder, eating the
other wrungs.
Speaker 3: Hanzo, I'm confident you could leave running this whole place
in like free days, all right, a rich, glittering career
ahead of you, you.
Speaker 4: Know, Stan, just because you're like, I know you're talking
shit to him, but like, give me, give me you're
a pretty good persuasion give me another persuasion rule.
Speaker 3: I don't think I've told a single light to this kid.
I wanted to put some gloss on it once you.
Speaker 4: Did, like on the last episode. You we're like, oh no,
I swear I'll get in the box too.
Speaker 3: I meant this episode, this episode I would say to
it was like, do you want the life of adventure?
Look at us, dude, and that is a twenty three.
Speaker 4: It's pretty fucking all right.
Speaker 6: I guess that's.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 4: I guess I do need a job. But I'm sure
i'll see you guys soon. Right, you were gonna hang
out later.
Speaker 6: You know, we'll get together lately, Okay, Daddy, just ask
one thing of you, son, Yes, yes, daddy, mook, if
as you work here, any elf come and bribe you
to uh to get in boxes murder his face.
Speaker 3: That's my not really boy, but yes, move cries a singlety.
Speaker 7: We seem to like genuinely proud Move.
Speaker 4: I will destroy every elf I ever come across just
for you.
Speaker 3: He's a chip off the out block.
Speaker 6: Then Moove promised to remember you always or until next
time we record.
Speaker 4: All right, Daddy George, do I get to keep your
cloak here? Because I like this? It makes me happy
because he is wearing your old red cloak that disappeared
into the ooze.
Speaker 5: So uh yeah, that's fine. Okay, I've got plenty of.
Speaker 4: Clothes, okay, Uh, Dane, I guess you watch my job
and the tour is like, all right, just start moving
boxes over there because you're bigger than the wolfwarge. So
like I was like, oh, I can't do more than that,
and he starts manifesting more magical hands and move the
boxes around.
Speaker 6: Wherever they need to.
Speaker 4: It's like, oh, this kid's pretty freaking good. All right,
you guys, Okay, you got the employee. That's pretty cool.
So uh he's what the grand whimsy? Uh all right,
So it's just yeah, just hang out here until tomorrow.
Tomorrow morning, I'll load you into some crates and we'll
just drop you into the ship. No big problem.
Speaker 3: You cool with that, very I'm extremely cool.
Speaker 4: Okay, uh, Drew, what are you gonna do? You're gonna
they're gonna join me, just gonna flap around and follow.
Speaker 7: I am planning to join them shortly, but I figured
I would both a serve my actual role in the
party and be throw giving you a little bit of
a plot kindling. Okay, Cabert is going to flap off
to find some local animals, and uh, he is going to,
you know, using the international language of the bats, go
ahead and shoot a message off to Father Brandon. Not
a problem the mafia don for whom we are all
supposed to be working, I.
Speaker 4: Believe, yes, yes, yes, the mage father.
Speaker 7: Yep.
Speaker 3: Working is a strong word.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 7: And basically, as I recall, Corbert was put on this
as just a general like keeping tabs on, reporting back situation,
and so he is going to report to Father Brandon.
You know, hey, things are going wellish, We're all alive.
They're doing the jobs. But he's all I'm going to
add this is they're causing a lot of chaos. So
it might not be worth the effort of investing in
them as a team to keep under your thought. It
might be better to cut them loose.
Speaker 6: All right.
Speaker 4: So like Stan used to use the hooker net and
you're using the animal nets, so yeah, the animal net
will like transfer this information back to Father Brandon.
Speaker 6: I like it.
Speaker 3: There.
Speaker 7: You hopefully we've been so bad at our jobs that
you can, guys can get some more freedom.
Speaker 3: You just you just had us executed.
Speaker 7: I mean, if you don't think a crime boss named
Father Brandon was going to kill us anyway?
Speaker 3: True. I mean that's sort of like my real life
ambitions to people. Yeah, so incompetent that people just leave
me alone.
Speaker 7: Failing upward is what I like to call it. But yeah,
that can kill as much time as you need for
it too.
Speaker 6: Plotwise.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you know, I I've got thoughts so well,
I think that worked out very well. All right, So
the next morning, so that you guys hang out there
for the rest of the evening then just basically waiting
to get uh locked into crates?
Speaker 3: Are you?
Speaker 4: Is there anything you guys want to do uh do
before before that event happens.
Speaker 3: So, Clodia, tell me about your clown upbringing. Were your
parents clowns? Is a genetic thing?
Speaker 8: You said, clowns? I said, circus. I was raised by
bears in a circus back clowns, bare clowns. I'm sensing
that I'm resembling a clown.
Speaker 3: Well, it just it would explain a lot.
Speaker 4: Well, I'm at what point, Because the Kuala mask peeled
off your face a long time ago, and you also
were covered in a lot of like crocodile blood from you,
you you gathered up a whole lot of that high
I think you stopped moves back of holding so you are.
I don't know what it is you resemble at this point.
It's been a while.
Speaker 3: Your natural urge to apply some kind of clown makeup
is just being twisted by available resources, which happened to
be dead animals.
Speaker 8: I'm resourceful, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Very resourceful in a terrifying sort of way.
Speaker 8: I like disguises.
Speaker 6: I guess, yes, we.
Speaker 3: Could call it. We could call it disguised. I suppose.
I think the object of a disguise now is to
draw less attention to yourself, and I don't think of
doing that.
Speaker 8: Oh, I'm going to have to try harder.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean. The thing about clowns again, I'm just putting
two and two together here, is like people tend to
notice them because they are obscene and terrifying.
Speaker 8: But if you're so so present and so in the
foreground that nobody notices you.
Speaker 5: Georgia would like to look through the crates to see
which one he'd like to be locked in. I'm looking
for a shipment of pillows or okay, I just suspended.
Speaker 4: Okay, well ironically, uh, don't get ahead of the story.
Speaker 7: Cube of Loube. Oh that feels like a name for
a monster that should not exist, the Loube Cube.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Uh so there is one of the crates that's going
to the Graham Wimsy that is betting blankets, pillows and
a lot of lube.
Speaker 5: Awesome, all right, Tubes.
Speaker 7: Has just puts on a snorkel and jumps in.
Speaker 4: Don't worry, I'll nail myself in. Don't worry about it.
I got this.
Speaker 6: All right.
Speaker 4: Is anybody else looking for a particular crate they'd like
to hide in.
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna wait till morning. I'm just gonna make
myself at home now.
Speaker 4: Actually, what are you doing, daddy George? We got to
spend the last evening together. You have like a meal,
We get a camp out right here and spend time.
Why are you getting into the crate? Get back here. Okay,
I don't have a whole Yeah, just work here do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that. I guess I'll look for a suitable
crate as well. Yeah, so Stan, you're just again maybe
less sticky, but a similar setup.
Speaker 4: All right, Uh, let me see you have there are
things that look like, oh like kind of these phone
things can look kind of like yoga mats. You find
some exercise equipment and some you've got some paper clothes,
like the kind of like you just real thin ones
that people put on when you go to spas.
Speaker 3: Yeah, orphopedic is the word. I'm looking for. Just anything.
Speaker 4: There is a thing full of like just kind of
like full of slippers and soft clothing that looks like
like like just like there's real thin like not hospital
gown material but kind of close. But there's kind of pajamas.
Speaker 3: So Stan will burrow into that like a small mammal.
Speaker 6: All right.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 4: There is what appears to be like what like pool
noodles and uh uh like uh like that stuff you
putting your nose to keep from getting sunburned. You've got
some of the weird. There's weird devices that look kind
of like like there are pieces of a war forge
that and they have this really weird thing looks looks
kind of a crossbow without the crossbow top part of it,
without the actual bow aspect to it.
Speaker 7: Uh.
Speaker 4: There's obviously the loob, a lot of books, what looks
to be animal feed, some weird theatrical clothing.
Speaker 8: Claudie would like to go into the paper clothing box
and I'm assuming it it will adhere to her like
paper mache.
Speaker 3: Kind of yeah, wrap yourself in a bowl of paper mache. Uh.
Speaker 4: There is one of like this weird random food stuffs
that is just like, uh, you know, just real exotic
looking like cold packed meats and cheeses from that are
very exotic.
Speaker 3: Oh man, crank for the cheese. Maybe I could not
cheese wisely. Uh.
Speaker 4: There is one that looks like just uh like just
kind of like weird, like just generic animal feed.
Speaker 6: Google climbing with the fancy with the fancy food, because
that seems like the sort of stuff that elves would like. Okay.
Speaker 4: Zamy also want to have a creative preference. They want
to crawl into before we before we sign off on
this episode, and like see before we end up on
our the actual grand whimsy.
Speaker 3: Stan will say good night to everyone, get comfy. We'll
see you on the whimsy. Please, please, please don't immediately
start murdering everyone as soon as we get.
Speaker 6: Good night.
Speaker 4: And with that, we're gonna call this episode. Like you
guys managed to climb a wall. It was really well done.
Well you didn't, but you found a way up there,
and that that's what D and D is all about.
It is like overcoming obstacles, and you did. And you
also abandoned your child shortlier after a meeting, when like,
that's just good parenting overall.
Speaker 3: That was the nicest way we could have abandoned that child.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was. I was throwing you guys at boone
and I was sensing you didn't want a cousin Oliver
tagging along with this group, so I threw. I gave
you guys an out, and you jumped on like a
like a live grenade.
Speaker 3: Gave me you deliberately created the most horrifying thing I've
ever seen in my ten years of this really horrifying podcast.
Speaker 7: Wow, that's a high level for this particular dude.
Speaker 4: I'm just saying he's a plushy waiting to happen.
Speaker 6: I'm just like, every game needs its own mister, history,
the most popular character.
Speaker 3: Well, my hatred for mister Hister was irrational. My hatred
for Hanzo is completely irrational. That's the difference.
Speaker 6: All Right.
Speaker 4: I'm ending on a moment of hate. I think it's
the best thing for this episode. So on, behalf of
Emily Kaplin, Steve Weather, Drew Hayes, Rick Qualteri, and Robert Briman.
I'm MK Gibson. We've been the Dicey Bastards and you've
been great. We'll catch you all next time. Bye everybody, Bye, bye, Hey.
Speaker 11: Listening to Dicey Bastard's courtesy if Authors and Dragons. Check
us out our Authors and Dragons dot com or look
up our Patreon if you want to support us, get
secret content, and hang out on our discord. Music by
the Gorcore four.
Speaker 3: I think she's abandoning in us, like we're a bunch
of fucking Hanzo's or something.