Speaker 1: Also Alicia forgot that Jason was supposed to be in attendance,
just kind of lays a plate down, and I love
I love the honesty. You know, He's like, why didn't
you tell me that? And she just said, I forgot?
What are you talking about? Why didn't I tell you that?
I forgot to tell you.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 3: So I gotta say Kaitlin is tyrannical today.
Speaker 1: I know. I mean, comes in here like he owns
the fuck he's walking in here, he's got signage, and
I gotta say, the room is too cold for me.
And when it's too cold for me, that's a problem.
It's bad TV, Dylan, that's pat Oh we're.
Speaker 4: Doing the show, yep. Oh great to be here permission
A couple board.
Speaker 1: Our dictatorial producer Kaylin is here joining us as well.
Speaker 4: It's a big deal. We got an a lister coveted
about He doesn't care about it. You can tell he
doesn't deny it.
Speaker 1: We ore Kaitlyn's got an a lister. I got a
lot on my mind. Kaylen's got Kaylen's got a lot
of children, He's got a lot on his mind. He's
going to be at the studio till four o'clock in
the morning tonight. But but Pat told me that he
asked Kaylin to see if we could talk to the
A lister after and Kaylen just said no. And Pat said, Caylen,
what you do is you say let me see, and
then you don't see that's right, and then you you
get back and you just lie. Yeah, don't just say no, right.
Speaker 4: No, I don't take kindly to that. Actually, sir, it's rude.
Do you know how many times I've told you, Kaitlin,
let me check, Kaylen, I don't check.
Speaker 3: Right, It's like, it's just good gameplay, thank you.
Speaker 1: Okay, speaking of gameplay, you can listen to the traders
at patreon dot com. Slash another podcast network. We have
Love is Blind coming next week probably when are they
dropping everything?
Speaker 4: They're dropping this week Wednesday.
Speaker 3: They're dropping in on Wednesday.
Speaker 4: Do we gotta we gotta record all day Thursday or something?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: All right, so Love is Blind will be a Patreon.
Speaker 4: Are we gonna put the first episode for free or something?
Maybe give them a little taste.
Speaker 1: Well, we'll talk about it, probably because yeah, we have
to give we have to give the people, I mean,
America's favorite game outside of family, food, is is it?
Speaker 3: Love is Blind? Music or is and all of that?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, And you know, I don't know. For whatever
reason our listenership, they just love to listen to us
talk about Love is Blind, which is now people that
are unemployable lying to each other behind a wall for
two and a half weeks. I don't know why people
still like that show.
Speaker 1: But they do. I look like Megan Fox, No you don't,
Oh my god, you yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And then
the guys are like, I work in real estate, which
is that's also a lie. You live in your parents' basement,
and you point to god. My favorite the last season
that we covered and we'll get to blow deck in
one second, but one of the couples he went into
his childhood home which is his current residence, and he
put into a bookshelf which was like the kind of
child's bookshelf, and it had like Percy Jackson books and
like Mockingbird and stuff like that. And she was like,
oh my god, you read all those They were like
seven books. He was like, yeah, pretty much read all
those those fucking books. Yeah. Oh.
Speaker 4: My favorite one was he was so broken, such a
loser because every time she'd get out of the car.
He got a car, she'd go out pump some gas,
and he'd always like make it that guy. Yeah, here's
the guy that every time he'd walk near a bank,
the bank would tell the fuck off. Yeah, you forgot
to mention behind those walls. You know that he had
no credit right, Yeah, he actually had minus credit one.
Speaker 1: Hundred and fifteen credit score. And you're right. And it's
a very rare thing for bank tellers to do, which
is a kind of preemptive barring eventry. Like he wasn't
even going in the bank. They get out from behind
the glass, they tell him the fuck no.
Speaker 4: The I don't know if a bank can talk, but
the bank would say get out of here.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So anyways, uh, we're gonna be doing that.
Speaker 1: We're gonna be doing that. Let's get into the episode,
episode two of Bravo's Below Deck Dan on that Thoughts Potts.
Speaker 4: Can I do a little housekeeping with because it was
across over with Real Housewives? Okay, Salt Lake City. If
you're a fan of that or not a fan of that.
The girl that dressed up like a taxi threw up
that girl. Her name is Brounwin, bronwent Okay. So this
week she announced a new relationship with a guy. No,
the guy looks like a model, really yeah. And the
guy that she was dating, yeah, he looks like an
underwear model. And the guy that she was married to
for twelve years looked like a wooly mammoth. I was like, Wow,
what a relief to not imagine you sleep on another
planet when you're having sex with a dude, you know
what I mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because despite our most valiant efforts, we cannot astro
project the way that cats can. You know, when when
a fucking bloated millionaire is slamming away at you, you
can go to a different place, but it doesn't really
change the dynamics of what's happening. But and I can't
remember who said it. I think it was Bethany Frankel.
If you marry for money, you pay for the rest
of your life. Really wow, pretty uh pretty coaching?
Speaker 3: Pretty pretty Uh?
Speaker 1: Well, what's the word I'm looking for, Calyn, what's the
word I'm looking for? We'll just go with profound and
we'll move on. So this episode, can I give thoughts
and pots? Sure, adored, we we we need some kind
of and have has Savannah Guthrie got her mother back?
Speaker 4: No, I'm going to make a prediction on that one.
You know, we have a lot of listeners that they
probably have no idea what we're talking about. Big newscaster
on the Today Show. I know you have different versions
of sweet, sweet woman, very nice person and her mom
who's eighty four has been missing for like nine days now.
Her brother in law definitely did it. Do you think
by the time you probably dropped this, there is no
reason why someone would have docked an eighty four year
old woman. It had to be someone in the house.
I think it's her brother in law, and I think
her sister might have something to do with it.
Speaker 1: Oh, I thought you were for sure saying that the
woman is dead.
Speaker 4: Yeah she is.
Speaker 1: Oh, got it. So you're saying that too, Yeah, okay.
Speaker 4: It makes absolutely no sense that some random would come
in there and just scoop up an eighty four year
old woman. Now there is no ransom, she is not
with us anymore.
Speaker 3: And the brother very sad.
Speaker 1: You know. It's It's got me thinking who is easier
to kidnap a child or the elderly? Probably the elderly. Yeah, kids,
can I saw some kids running around here.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, at the super Bowl party.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, a couple of demons, you know.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you called one a demon, as you said,
I don't like that one.
Speaker 1: I didn't like him. You screamed too loud and scared
my daughter.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't like that one. Sure he's a nice
kid though.
Speaker 1: Sure, all right, So I thought it was a fun episode.
We have some more stuff with the Housewives.
Speaker 4: Too much of that. We are watch that on us
doing the coverage of Real Housewives Salt Lake City. It
was a little too much for me.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited to talk about Ben because Ben's food.
Speaker 3: It's interesting that we.
Speaker 1: Have this Jedi Padawan thing going on, because Ben is
one of the most underwhelming culinary professionals we've ever had
on the show. And and Ben rests on the laurels
of the kind of fair that flew in the early
days of Below Deck. But what with eater and infatuation
and buon appetite and and just kind of the culinary
education that the world has been afforded of late, it's
just piles of shit on plates. So so the confidence
and the egomania and the rudeness towards Alicia, while I
understand it because Alicia is just a little helpless right now.
It would land a little better if you were better
at what you did. I mean, we made a zombie
head today for people that aren't paying anything, but they're
tipping forty thousand dollars or whatever they are. Seventy one
pots very good.
Speaker 4: Totally agree with your assessment of Ben. He is definitely
resting on his laurels. But I have to say this
about anything in the creative arts music, film, Well, actually
I take that back. With film, people can still do
better as they evolve. Martin Scorse s he some of
his best work has happened as he's gotten older. No really, nope, Okay,
you know, but musicians, you know your first and second
record is the best, and then you just keep doing
different versions.
Speaker 3: I think of the Google dolls.
Speaker 4: Oh, I was just gonna say, are Green Day?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: I think?
Speaker 4: But no, no band ever does a record their ninth
record is their best record. It just never happens. No, No,
And the same goes with food. I think whatever he
was doing in two thousand and five is what he
is currently doing now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think food. Food can reinvent itself
a little bit easier than those other art forms actually, but.
Speaker 4: Not if you're not willing to uh kind of take
yourself back to school and evolve. Ben's lazy?
Speaker 3: Who's that? What's that?
Speaker 1: The Fray? I mean you look at the Fray records?
I know, you know, I mean it's it's the same thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And then there's cold Play.
Speaker 1: Right right right, And and you should break down that
the lead singer of I Believe Three Doors Down recently
lost his life, so we're going to need to.
Speaker 4: Have a moment of science. And the guitar player of
Cake one of the worst bands on the planet Earth,
and that is that's my obituary for him.
Speaker 1: Well, let's go the distance of the moment of silence
for those two right now. Don't laugh during the moment
of silence, Kyle, all right, let's.
Speaker 4: He's going for c How do you even write that?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: And then, by the way, that's when you come in.
Larry with the trumpet writes this horseship.
Speaker 1: All right, last we left off, we were did you
give pots? Now?
Speaker 4: All okay, I'm gonna just do what's going on in
the galley because that's the best part of the whole
show so far.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 4: While Alicia did come on this boat unprepared. Uh, it
was a horrible decision on her part. Chose not to
go to culinary school to actually kind of help herself here. Right,
she was skiing.
Speaker 3: She was skiing, that's right.
Speaker 4: And then now she is being made fun of and
then chef is bulowing her at every opportune time. That
being said, she has now waved the white flag. She
has now said I give up. I suck. And so
if she stays, and it's not by her choice, it's
by Captain Hotpants saying you know, we'll have you stay whatever.
Now it is the fault of production and the boat.
It is no longer her fault. Okay, you could get worse. Now,
she can get worse. I don't know if that's possible.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying you're allowed to get worse if you
choose to do so.
Speaker 3: Right now.
Speaker 4: One piece of advice I would have given Alisha is
the second chef Chef Ben left the galley after he
three or your breakfast muffins in the trash, I would
have pulled one of them out and just cracked it
open to see if it had cooked through. Then I
woant to thrown it at his head if he lied.
Speaker 1: You know, it's so funny. I was laughing because I
was thinking back a little bit earlier to when we
before we recorded, when Kaylen asked if he could leave
the chairs outside in the rain, and you were like, Kaylen,
shut figure it the fuck out.
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 4: Was was I a little chef Ben?
Speaker 1: You guys were you were a little chef Ben there.
It was very tense in here before we started with
your thoughts. So, yeah, I think so, But I think
it's good now.
Speaker 4: First off, I've been friends with you two assholes for
over a day. No, I know.
Speaker 3: That's a good thing about us. We can really get
over stuff very quick.
Speaker 4: Okay, you are you still mad at me? Kaylen?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: By the way, he did this little passive aggressively after
he got in the fight and the mice are on,
he goes, he goes like these he goes, noted. Oh okay,
what did you know?
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Speaker 4: Anyway, and that's.
Speaker 1: Our behind the curtain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was fun.
We don't fight a lot, but today we do. Okay,
so let's get into the episode after that.
Speaker 4: Okay, So I can't do fourteen knots anymore?
Speaker 3: Well you can forty one knots?
Speaker 1: Okay? Did you take the numbers and flip them around?
Speaker 4: I bite them all right.
Speaker 1: Last we left off, were feuding, and this made dinner
service challenging because when women are fighting, food is not
important other than ballistically, I guess when anybody's fighting, you know,
I want to backtrack when the real housewives are fighting.
That is what I meant to write. Food is not important.
Speaker 4: I do want to break down what this fight was over,
because it's important for the audience that doesn't follow.
Speaker 1: Help me, help me, Oh sure, sure.
Speaker 4: This fight was over one woman saying that another woman's
husband was cheating on her. She had learned this from
a person on TikTok who was repeating it from information
that was posted on Reddit. Yeah, on the internet is
a wonderful place.
Speaker 3: Well, journalism is wonderful.
Speaker 4: Oh and two women that aren't yelling at each other.
One of them convinced people that God was talking through
her and she sole a bunch of shit.
Speaker 3: Right, and there are nails sticking out of the pews
of their.
Speaker 1: Church regardless we play, And what we played is Panko
Wahoo okay, which has a branding problem, but it is
alongside wilted brocolini and sweet potato. It looks like a
pale cock with two balls and a kind of infected urethra,
the herb or catheter that's coming out of it. It's
just an unsightly dish. It's really really gross, thank you,
thank you, vile present, underwhelming dish. I'd give it seventeen pots.
I probably would not have eaten it. Mikey delivers the
fish to Angie, Angie and MC, who are not upstairs,
and Angie says malaccu or something like that.
Speaker 3: In Greek, and they fucking Mike's cute all right.
Speaker 1: Back in the kitchen, Ben and Alisha are still navigating
their relationship and we get ready for another dish to
round out the outfit changed dinner.
Speaker 3: As Lisa Barlow refers.
Speaker 1: To it, it is a deconstructed cheesecake with dark chocolate sauce. Okay, okay,
so the cheesecake, it has no volume or fluffiness whatsoever.
They are dead, lifeless medallions of cheesecake. The chocolate sauce
is from a bottle because Ben, despite the galley and
extra hands, did not feel the need to temper chocolate. Okay,
he is lazy and this is a very uninspired kind
of seeing the sausage being made that. I don't know
about you, but it just turned the brightness down on.
Speaker 3: Life for me for a little bit.
Speaker 1: It was really really it was really grotesque. I would
give this dessert actually zero pops, zero poe. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
there was a nice there was a nice.
Speaker 3: Swipe, so I'll give it one pop.
Speaker 4: Pank you wank you? What is that from the pank
pank you wank you? God?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 4: I do you want to say this? I do want
to say this. The point of crossovers right for these
damn shows is to I think they're still trying to
figure out, like, hey, there's a lot of people that
watch Below Deck and there's a lot of people that
watch Housewives, and they don't both audiences don't know about
each other. I must say this. The crossover I think
helped Below Deck better than Salt Lake City because if
you watch Below Deck, I think you were watching these
housewives yello at each other. I don't think it did
their show any favor.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so either, but it gave them
a free thing to do on the television show, and
it was a.
Speaker 3: Great three episode arc.
Speaker 1: So also, Alicia forgot that Jason was supposed to be
in attendance, just kind of lays a plate down, and
I love I love the honesty. You know, He's like,
why didn't you tell me that? And she just said,
I forgot. What are you talking about? Why didn't I
tell you that? I forgot to tell you. So the
Sea Rats have to set these plates down wall. The
women are screaming, and Ben decides that he's not going
to stand any longer for this failure of recognition. Okay,
so he's gonna go up there and remind these women
who the fucking star on the ship is.
Speaker 3: He is ignored. He stands there.
Speaker 1: Like he was picked last for about three minutes and
then just saunters downstairs and uh, I don't know if
he was quoting them or referring to them as bit
but he is not happy.
Speaker 4: Okay, so be uncomfortable with Bravo cod next year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So Britney tries to head up to the Crow's
nest to give old Jay Man I think a dry
hand drop and he refuses. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I love how she told Jared on the actual season
of real house. So I saw, like, hey, I heard
you were flirting with a lot of guys. No, yeah, yeah,
clearly you were.
Speaker 1: And it's such a fucking forgive me, but it's such
a bar hag line, like I just want to get
out of here. I just want to go somewhere.
Speaker 5: Go back to your room and stare at a wall.
That's another place. I'm just try to get out of here.
You want to go somewhere, Jesus Christ. Bron Wyn says,
I'm just happy it makes sense that she's attracted to somebody,
like implying that, by the way, I should rephrase that, like,
I'm just I'm happy that it her being attracted to
somebody actually makes sense.
Speaker 3: Brun When you're.
Speaker 4: You're married to a war hawk, you're fucking like a
water logs goblins, So.
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? You have to be more
self aware. Let's get to the next day. Next morning,
bron Win wakes like a very well off unhoused You know,
I always worry about that with the unhoused, though after
time they seem to really not care people walking by,
and their sleep is not disturbed. No, right, right, right,
And it's amazing the longer you are out there and
those environs, the cultural and societal customs that we all
adhere to, lanes, traffic lights, public space. They start to
just dissipate these.
Speaker 4: By the way, I love that unhouse advocates. I was like, oh, man,
today I was over in on house area and they'll
go like, that's excuse me, sir, that's their living area.
Oh well, that's fine.
Speaker 1: Why is it.
Speaker 4: Such a fucking dump? There's trash all around it? Can
they clean their living room up?
Speaker 1: Well, forgive me, I'm allowed to do whatever I want
to my living room. I mean, is that a crazy
thing to say? Are you allowed? Forgive me? Are you
allowed to come into my kitchen and say this is dirty?
This isn't how I would like to do it.
Speaker 4: It's a good point.
Speaker 1: No, it is a really good point. So Daisy tells Mike. Oh,
Daisy takes Mike. This is gonna happen a lot more.
This is what Daisy does. She monopolizes crew. That's right,
and Daisy has I have PTSD with Daisy too. She's
got a couple of these moments in the show that, like,
it's not enough to really highlight, but they're just these
little battles of who she acts, and I know that
it's coming.
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't worry. She'll ruin this franchise too, Can I
do it? Meanwhile, Master Jedi Ben is willing to take
Alicia under her wings and teach her a lot of things.
This didn't go too well, and I will say her
knife skills did you watch her here?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: They weren't. They weren't that good. My son's my son's
knife skills are better than Yes, I watched him yesterday
and then after he tried to cut up something he
tried to eat glue.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah. Quinton is such a boy.
Speaker 1: I mean he came up to me yesterday at the
party and he just, uh, he just held a donut
out to me and I was like, uh, what's up
and he just said donut and I was like, uh,
yeah it is. And he just held it out further
and said donut. I said, I don't want that, and
then he he pulled it back in and he walked on.
Speaker 3: It's just a lot of fun.
Speaker 4: Can you believe his knife skills are better than Alicia's?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I can, because she's cutting I believe a line.
We're in Avocada, some thing green with a pairing knife,
and you know, the old kind of the buddies and
the maternal figures of this world often cut things with
knives that are not suitable to that situation. But they've
been doing it for so many decades that it makes sense.
Not with Alicia, it's scary. So we get to the
a place called the Tobago Keys. Everything on this show
sounds like a map in Donkey Kong Country. It's like, okay, anyways,
there are a ton of turtles there, and Jason says
that he hopes the tranquility of underwater will ease the tension.
I don't just speaking for these two podcasters. There's nothing
traquill about underwater.
Speaker 4: No, it's scary place.
Speaker 1: Have you have you seen an angler fish? I have
nothing scarier?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Nothing.
Speaker 1: I mean you know you see the Strangers, right, and
stuff like that happens, and it's just so horrifying.
Speaker 4: The film Strangers, where three randows show up at your
house and knife you to death.
Speaker 3: Right, why are you doing this? You were home?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Horrifying. Not as scary as an.
Speaker 4: Angler A little light bulb above it?
Speaker 3: Why does it have a light bulb? Blah blah?
Speaker 1: I mean, think about that demon of it is so comfortable.
It's like bane. It is so comfortable in the dark
that it evolves to have a fucking flashlight come out
of here.
Speaker 4: Dylan and I was bold.
Speaker 1: Head, What is that little thing that's melting its face
onto your body? Oh that's my husband.
Speaker 3: It's how he inseminates me. He dies to do it.
Speaker 1: It's like I don't want anything to There is nothing
tranquil about this. Gods and shalls And do we already
do the pull anchor thing we're gonna get?
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, sorry, we've got anchor issues.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, but ultimately Juwau and end Or figure it out.
Speaker 3: Her name is Batul. We should just call her the Virgin.
Speaker 1: I don't think she's a virgin, I know, but but
her dad thinks she is.
Speaker 4: Her name's hard to remember, so I'll always just name
her a planet star Wars.
Speaker 1: I don't think you know that many planets and star Wars.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, I do do four No, no, I gotta
save it for the show. She's got lots of names.
Speaker 1: To all right, tato wine and or I'm out. What's
the what's the what's the place that they the lava place.
Speaker 4: Where Darth Vader's home is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, mostar it's so Star Wars sucks.
Speaker 3: It's so dumb.
Speaker 1: I love I love how they just they spend hundreds
of millions of dollars on a movie and they.
Speaker 3: Just go that actually doesn't count.
Speaker 1: We're not counting that one. Crazy.
Speaker 2: Do you see? Uh?
Speaker 4: Did you see the trailer for the for Bandalorian Krogu?
I get to watch it in here? Were you in
here when the Disney guy came in? We were with
a big Disney to do when he came in there,
he goes, I want to see you watch this. It's
coming up after the commercial break. I want to get
your opinion.
Speaker 3: I would have loved to have been there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they were doing making fun of a bud Light commercial.
Speaker 3: Are we allowed to say anything?
Speaker 1: Uh? Probably?
Speaker 4: What what with Kaylin?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Ask him about our guest or what?
Speaker 3: No about the movie?
Speaker 1: That movie?
Speaker 3: How do you guys not know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 1: The movie? How what are you talking about? How do
you not know what I'm talking about? Are we allowed
to say things about the movie that we know about
the movie? Star Wars and the cast? What are you
talking about? How do you guys not know this.
Speaker 4: Oh, No, his dad's not in that movie.
Speaker 1: Oh he's not.
Speaker 4: No, it ended up being a movie called Oh, I
can't say the name of the movie it comes out there.
Speaker 1: Are we even allowed to say this?
Speaker 4: Your dad's are you? My dad was in an episode
of Mandalorian.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're referring to other than that.
I thought he was supposed to be in some movies,
big Star Wars movie.
Speaker 4: It's not Star Wars.
Speaker 3: It's okay, sorry, al right, sorry.
Speaker 4: It's a huge movie, but it's not that one.
Speaker 3: Okay, can we say that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not a franchise movie. Okay, all right, all right,
sorry for the audience. Still, I would have loved to
be here by that Disney big wig. Look at that.
That's gonna be a pile of shit. That's gonna be
a pile of shit. And you know that's gonna be
a pile of shit. You know, I think it's gonna
be good. Okay, this is you've been burned so many times,
this one's gonna be good. All right. So we've got
anchor issues. They're not flaking it properly, and obviously this
is the scariest thing, right, maybe even scarier than an angler,
big chains, hand ripped off bloody stumps.
Speaker 3: Just the whole thing is really really spooky.
Speaker 4: I will say this though, at least finally they explained it, well,
I kind of got the process.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like uh yeah, uh. The chain
is like Evan Rachel would in the film thirteen. If
given too much room to do whatever you want, We're
gonna huff keyboard cleaner.
Speaker 3: You need to you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, she's a huffer, right wow, just like that anchor.
Speaker 1: Let me know if you get a Let's talk onions
and shalats and Ben's bipolarity. Sometimes he's fun, sometimes he's mean,
and then sometimes he's actually meaner. And they again, this
is where, like Mark up here, White can be mean
because he is a young master of the French classics, right,
he can do things to pig trotters that you cannot do.
Ben's special breakfast is a Peccorino romano omelet, otherwise known
as a cheese omelet, so it's just.
Speaker 3: A little different.
Speaker 1: While Angie starts boasting about her eleven million dollar home.
Speaker 4: Joe Jenna Jenna Joe left because her grandma wasn't doing
well got it.
Speaker 3: Jenna starts talking about how she wants to be like.
Speaker 4: Them, triggers a little sea rat history. She screw up poor,
didn't look that bad to me, but she always wanted
the good life and like these women, and she aspires
to be like these women. Now, this is what I
would have done if I was on that boat and
I overheard her say, I'm like Eddie, I'm a sea
rat working on the as a deck. I just hold
but you're you?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: But are you Pat? I'm Pat?
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm Pat.
Speaker 4: And I also watched The Housewives or something. I just go,
all right, go here. I'd hold up a huge picture
of Todd and I'd say, you can have all of this,
but you have to blow this morbidly old beast elephant
seal every night. Still interested?
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine polar bears taking those things down?
Speaker 3: If I was a polar bear, I would die. I
would just be like, this is exhausting.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna see what what the next life is. You know,
these things weigh like two thousand pounds or something. It's
just crazy stuff. It's too cool.
Speaker 4: By the way, the La Zoo, which I have season
passes to Okay, they.
Speaker 3: Tell me they don't have a polar bear there. No, no, no, no,
oh my god.
Speaker 4: They did have one in San Diego for a little while.
But they have this gigantic elephant reserve. Okay, they had
Billy the elephant there. These these advocates for Billy have
been forever trying to get him the.
Speaker 3: Hell out of yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: So they finally got him out of here, and he's
down in a zoo and Tucson.
Speaker 3: Now okay, but they're.
Speaker 4: Still there and they're mad that they got They sent
him to Tucson. So I mean, there's like five or
six of these people, and they got the loudest bullhorns.
And now they go after your children. So they walk
up to Elliott, right, and they go, oh yeah yeah.
They go, hey, h to ask your parents why they
want to take you to a death Chris. Oh my,
I'm like, hey, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 3: You're trying just as as you shout.
Speaker 4: I'm like, God, you can just yell out here like
a maniac all you want, but don't go after my kid.
And then, but you know, I love my wife because
she's always like, hey, watch what you say, Watch what
you say. She goes Mommy, who are those people? She goes?
Mentally ill people?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's like a fucking, you know,
anti abortion person just going up to a kid being like,
you're lucky, you're one of the lucky ones. Yeah, mommy,
who is that a mentally ill person? All right?
Speaker 3: So leave the children alone? Yeah, they're children.
Speaker 1: They don't know they're they're fucking watching fucking what's the
dog show with the two dogs Blue Louie.
Speaker 4: It's four mom, Dad, it's a family. It's a family.
Speaker 1: But yeah, aspiring to be like the housewives would be
aspiring to be empty vessel with some kind of fraud
indictment in your near future.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it's literally a coin toss or a sun
in prison, you know someone. It's always the husband relative.
Speaker 3: Not a good thing to aspire to. But she's young.
Speaker 1: What's her name? End or tattooing? No, no, the other one? Joe, Joe,
Joe's not coming back? No no, no, what oh Jenna Jenna, Jenna.
Speaker 3: Okay, got it. So let's set up for a beached picnic.
This is the.
Speaker 1: Little burp I was referring to, where Daisy is pissed
off that the deck team set them back Daisy, I
get it, but like, why don't you get down there
and try to fucking jab at a goddamn one hundred
pounds ring on a rope?
Speaker 3: Like fuck, kindly fuck off?
Speaker 4: Okay, Daisy, By the way, classy as ever. She uh.
She compares this rushed picnic thing in being behind schedule
as a starting before sex. Here's a more appropriate one,
and this would probably be applicable to her, Daisy. It's
you bring your guy home and into your bedroom and
you didn't have time to pick out all the cigarettes
and beer cans from the night before.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, which.
Speaker 3: Is is it?
Speaker 1: He'd be like, is there an unhoused person living in here? No,
it's a sea rat with a bob that's right, all right,
Let's talk to Alicia's We love you, Daisy, we'd love
to have you on the show. Let's talk to Alicia's mother,
who is a vile witch. Alicia tells her that she's
really struggling, and her mother says, poor abuser essentially.
Speaker 4: Well she calls it. She says, you're useless.
Speaker 1: She goes, this is this is my advice to you. Okay,
somebody's abusing you in a workplace. I want you to
go to them and I want you to tell them
I'm a piece of shit. Yeah, but I'm going to
give you one hundred percent of my not shittiness.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm going to give you one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: It's it's such a bummer to see parents like I'm
sure listen, British people have bands, they have different cultural
customs than we do. But it seemed a little little intense.
Speaker 4: Well you know, I actually like the advice though, because
to go in there and keep thinking like you're gonna
turn this around right, just own it right, right, because
maybe it would just be like once he goes like,
all right, fine, I'll tell you what you can cook
crew meals, and then I'll have you just do dishes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, just cook crew meals. They'll eat hot pockets,
just cut them into little triangles to make them.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Anyways, lovely woman, We get to a sea rat side scale.
Speaker 4: Ah, yes, yes, yes, this is always my favorite part
of the recap scale. We get another sea rat history.
Speaker 1: Now, before you get into this, I just want to
lay this out really quickly. A young boy lost his father,
and decades later he is still heartbroken at the loss
of that parent. Showing you that that you know, life
is full of meetings and partings and to quote Winning
the Pooh, you know how lucky am I for a
goodbye to be this hard? Right now, Let's throw to
Pat to see what Pat does about this story.
Speaker 4: Thanks, yeah, Dylan, this one tugged on my heart as well. Okay, Eddie,
dad died on New Year's Day when he was just
six years old, and he's getting a half a point
just just for that, but a full point if his
dad had kicked the bucket on his actual birthday, and
if his dad's face had fallen in the cake while
he was dying, that's an additional two points. Anyway, we
love you, and I think that sea turtle you were
swimming next to that might have been your dad. Yeah,
and he waved at you right before he ate that
blob of floating fish. Shit's like you said, Hey, son, Yeah,
that was him.
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you. I love Eddie. We do not
know yet the extent of his alcohol and sex addiction,
but right now I think he's.
Speaker 3: A great guy.
Speaker 4: We haven't gone out too much right yet.
Speaker 3: We'll revisit.
Speaker 1: Let's go to the Virgin, Okay, endor Mustafar. Her name
is Batul, whose father did not want her educated. He
wanted uh a real dick. He wanted her to be
a virgin and then a disposal for come. Oh my god,
the belief that conservative Muslim Men have in their daughters
is just such a beautiful, beautiful sight to behold. I mean,
my god. Heay, she turned out great given what she
had to endure. You know, poor Endor's just heartwarming. Let's
get to lunch. Okay, let's go to lunch. Ben comes
from a portrait background.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 1: I don't know if we knew this about Ben before,
but he was a painter and a damn good one,
and that's why he knows what composition should look like. Right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so.
Speaker 1: He understands that what Daisy's asking him to do would
betray the principles of artistic expression. That being plaiting defrosted shrimp,
a US airways side salad, chicken wings, and a lattice
of lettuce and carrot on the same plate will not work,
otherwise known.
Speaker 4: As an all you can eat plate at a Las
Vegas buffet.
Speaker 1: Right. So this, who this looked like you were an
early bird at carrows? Right, and one would suggest to
Ben that perhaps, if you have such a command of
composition and creative expression, here's an idea. If you know
that the food's going to be plated, why don't you
cook something that doesn't look like dog shit? Right? Because again,
this is a yacht, and so what you've served is
again chicken wings, chicken wings, chicken wings, frozen shrimp and
a side salad and a Ramican.
Speaker 4: I don't want to eat anything on a yacht that
I can get at a chuck e cheese.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: Now, Lucky for Ben, these people are from Utah, a
state that more or less has a collective palette of
like a miner. You know. So these women are completely
fine with this. They think it's delicious. Mary Cosby's just
farting and shitting and she doesn't, you know.
Speaker 3: Really care.
Speaker 4: I want to say this. His move to feed the
people in their bedrooms first was extremely odd to be given.
They requested that, Oh they did, yeah, oh okay, but
Daisy was against it. Feed the people at the table first,
who are like banging I think Whitney Allen going to
bang my fork on the table. Yeah, Because if they're
in their bedrooms they can play on their phones. And
also watch TV or whatever, read a book.
Speaker 1: Which is what this this meal is suitable or suited for. Right,
this is a TikTok lunch. Right, this is not a
let's enjoy this food kind of lunch. Let's get to
Mikey delivers quite a revelation. The world of stripping in
the world of engineering have nothing to do with you
with one another. It's fucking crazy. I had no idea.
Speaker 3: And then we get to another sea rat history.
Speaker 1: Juwau has body image issues.
Speaker 4: Oh, let me see if I can find.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to know, I want to know where
this lands.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, So this was when Mike was training the
dues and don'ts how to perform a lap dance. And
this triggers some deep insecurities from Juwau. Yeah, he always
felt like a fatty as a kid, and despite pounding
his way through half the stews in this industry, he
still feels like a pudgy little doughboy deep down inside,
which is exactly why he's probably behaving this way. It's
like the nerd effect with all those tech bros. Yes, right, yeah,
they got you know, they always got beat up. Too
many wedgies, too many wedgies and now they're demons. Yeah,
we all have to pay for right, right, and our
children's children.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, much screen time, all right?
Speaker 1: So Angie cuts her hand and Jason says, she's not
a starfish, so it won't regenerate.
Speaker 3: He says, dad joke, Good one.
Speaker 1: Jason, that's not a dad joke. Okay, that is a
nautical joke. And speaking of nerds, it's it's a nerd joke. Okay, Caitlin,
did you know that starfish can regenerate their limbs. He's
not a nautical guy. That's why he didn't know that,
you know. But if somebody was to make a joke
about perhaps the post office and turn some something into
like an envelope pun, you would.
Speaker 3: Get that right. Sure, that's a dad joke. Jason is
a dad.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I also want to say he's also a fish abuser.
That goldfish named Juao and his small captive tank that
he has definitely has a case of humpback. Also tuberculosis,
oh for sure, caused by high night nitrates in the
tank and over crowding. I'd venture to guess, Jo while
the fish has probably already come to the disease way
to go Captain Fish murderer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jason is to fish what Buffalo Bill was to women.
It's very dangerous to be serial killer.
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly. He wasn't real right.
Speaker 4: Now based on someone?
Speaker 1: I think, oh really did the person he was based on?
Tucky's cockback? I think, so, really, have you ever done that? No?
Speaker 3: Have you ever done that?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: I do like dancing naked in front of the mirror, though,
I think he did that.
Speaker 1: You've never just slid it back just to see I
think so. I think it's fun. You know, we're blessed
with very flexible genitary. It's disgusting, but it's really marvelous.
It's kind of like, uh, you know how octopuses can
kind of get in and out of things, very kind
of like that.
Speaker 3: You know, it's disgusting.
Speaker 4: I'll try it tonight.
Speaker 1: Try tonight. Report back, please. The Real Housewives have requested
a zombie theme for dinner. This must have been filmed
around Halloween. The problem is if we're at like the
Bongo and Company, or wherever the fuck we're at, it
doesn't Halloween doesn't really like read that well on camera.
Speaker 3: So just it's this very very odd thing.
Speaker 1: That we're doing a zombie theme in the middle of
the fucking Caribbean. But Ben walks through the dinner menu
and Daisy asks if she can add Jason, and Ben says,
it's not a problem. You're dealing with professionals here, mate. Okay,
now remember, let's cut back to the chicken wings. Okay,
so we're okay. What happened with MC's wineglass that shit
on it or something?
Speaker 4: Well, they joked she said there's lipstick on here, and
it was in fact her lipstick. She's out of her mind.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, she's on pills. Yes, that's right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well allegedly, and that's where Robert Junior got them.
Speaker 4: I wonder how.
Speaker 1: Many color I'm so impressed with the mothers that you
guys are.
Speaker 3: I mean, you're just incredible.
Speaker 1: Mother.
Speaker 4: Mary. Your son has unfortunately been in prison, that's right, Andy,
and so you and Robert Senior, his father, you guys
have visited him. No, no, Andy, I can't go to
a place like that.
Speaker 1: You know, the same note that we gave Caylin earlier, Mary,
cause we needs Okay, do not be repulsed by the
thought of going to see your son in prison.
Speaker 3: Outwardly. You got to keep that.
Speaker 1: All right, So caviar, lentil and buttersehared scallop is up first.
Speaker 3: Actually did look like at least some.
Speaker 1: Effort to do something fine dining, but way too many
lentils and it was completely out of balance. Sixty one pots.
Then we get to Britain on a plate, never a
good idea. There are loose peas that just kind of
it looked like, you know when you know those candy
dispensers of Mike and Ikesh. It looked like if you
cranked it and then you just opened the door and
they just fell all over the place. That's what the
peas looked like, just scattered outpazardly on the plate next
to Lamb, which is a baby sheep. I'm gonna give
that thirty one pots. And then we get to dessert,
which is one of the most embarrassing things I've seen
on this show since Chicken and Brownie.
Speaker 3: Well, there was, I mean, it's just discussed.
Speaker 4: There was a chef, and I think when we went
on Pink Shade with Mary Pain she was referring to
a chef who she thought was really good. But I
did remember that it was a woman. It was a
couple's twenty fifth wedding anniversary, and he served them chocolate
chip cookie with vanilla ice cream on top.
Speaker 1: I think that was Kiko. Oh, no, no, it was it
was John.
Speaker 3: Oh right, yeah, it was John.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 1: This is worse than that, Okay, by a good margin.
It is going to be a zombie head comprised of
nuclear green pistachio ice cream, some more store bought chocolate drizzle,
and cookie hands that actually did not make it onto
the plane. It was a dessert for children at laser
tag high paying guests. It was not six pots. When
asked why Ben chose to do a dessert that required
a hasty assembly to a frozen good, he says, obviously lying,
I decided to make that Disney Channel dessert so that
you could pass or fail. I mean, my god, this
like you have to, like I don't know, you have
to be so radically detached from who you are that
you just go with it. Like it's like this half
measure of He's like he's still vaguely aware that he's.
Speaker 3: Not that good.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of this act that is just not believed. Okay.
Speaker 4: So the lure of Ben has always been he's beloved
in uh in, you know, in the Bravo community. Right,
He's beloved because sharp witted, you know, just kind of
a kind of kind of dicky. But he always backed
it up by being really above grade chef. When you're
not good and we can mock you in your profession
and you're an asshole. Now you're just a run in
the mill, fucking half assed below Deck chef. Yeah, and
we will judge you accordingly. Right Ben, You're we're gonna
have fun with you.
Speaker 2: This.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have so much fun.
Speaker 1: He's the jah morant of of Below Deck right now.
Speaker 3: All right, So Jason.
Speaker 1: Doesn't enjoy the dessert because they're not really asking him
anything about himself. The ladies and we get to the
strip show. Nothing that crazy to report here. There was
one scene wherein Mikey went into a full handstand, yeah,
and we cut away, and what I imagine happened was
an effort to worm on top of Heather a controlled
dismount onto her body that I think was not shown
because she suffered bruising. This is not something that you
can do many.
Speaker 3: Years out of practice.
Speaker 1: You'll just fall down on her like a fucking Jenga
tower and you'll hurt her all right, we get to
the next morning and we've got muffin gate.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, this was my favorite part of the show. Okay, yeah,
this is self esteem building.
Speaker 1: What a what? Yeah? Now Ben is rude to her,
but this is on Alicia. Okay, you're you're cramming buffin
tins with too much batter and you're cooking, you're cooking
these things. They're they're they're they're going to be like
a sourdough starter in the middle, and we just can't
do this. Okay. Now, Ben didn't need to slam the
muffins out of the tin the way that he did.
But Alisha, you know, we love Alisha. She's a good time,
but this was this was insane and this is where
like Alisha they do maybe her Mom's right, we can't
do this thing where Alisha's just being proactive with the
menu hours before Ben wakes up. Yeah, you know, like
he's gotta we gotta get on more level playing field.
Speaker 4: That's right. We appreciate the effort of trying a go
get her effort, but h let's ease into it a
little bit, right, Okay, So she calls a fan favorite
another fuck up, Brie.
Speaker 1: No, Bree's not a fuck up.
Speaker 4: Oh she wasn't.
Speaker 3: No, we loved Brie, we had her on the show.
She's a sweetheart.
Speaker 4: Oh oh, I'm sorry. I was thinking of the girl
who couldn't col her coordinate laundry. Sorry. No, we love
breathing awesomely. Sorry, I take that all that back.
Speaker 1: And it's not because she's hot, it's not she's a
very nice she's just genuinely lovely. So Alicia says that
she was living her best life in Canada and now
she's not happy. And this is where we can't give
the boomers the excuse to say what a fragile generation? Right,
because what Alicia is describing is existing in a coping
mechanism in Canada. Right.
Speaker 3: We can't do that. That's not living, you know.
Speaker 1: So we end with a tear soaked chat with Captain
Jason and Alicia quits the show.
Speaker 3: Captain Jason says, it was.
Speaker 1: Where already going, understand, and we can't have you just quit.
Speaker 3: Youre spised to be here and grugg.
Speaker 4: You know you're great TV, mate, You're great TV.
Speaker 1: And we're gonna make this. We but we get hit
with the to be continued card.
Speaker 4: And what if they didn't put that there.
Speaker 1: Can I make a prediction the world would keep spinning.
Give the comments let us know you thought about the episode.
We love you guys for listening, Love you guys for supporting.
Go to Patreon. A lot of stuff happening there, traders.
Love is blind. If you want to see Summerhouse will
be free. Okay, if you want to see or listen
to our recap of Salt Lake City, go there until
next time. I'm fucking I'm the fucking dyl Mice. What
do you think about that? Yeah, deil Meister, I'm I'm
the Dell Meister. That's Pat saying goodbye. Accounts have distance