Speaker 1: So what happens when your cheek pinching kissy mark leaving
aunt comes to watch you while your parents are away.
We're about to find out. Let's get into it. Hellol,
story time really not a glory time. Rabbis standing, You'll
be fine. Follow the whole storyline. Hello, ol, story time,
and you laugh at least one time. Well time. This
is the story of the people and our families who
sometimes make us feel a little bit embarrassed or, in
an Patty's case, very very, very embarrassed. After Piper and
Penelope's parents told them they were going on vacation, the
girls were over the moon. Their parents hadn't even finished
talking before the girls were sprinting to their rooms to
pack their bags. We're going on vacation. We're going on vacation.
Oh yeah, oh yeah. Penelope grabbed a big pile of
clothes and jammed them into a suitcase. Piper grabbed a
big pile of swim gear, including several inflatables and a
mermaid tail, and jammed them into a suitcase. There was
no room left for her clothes. But who wears clothes
on vacation? Isn't that what swimsuits are for? The girls
then said farewell to their pets, Doctor Gonzo and Cloudy
before jumping into the car. I wonder if we'll be
taking an airplane, Penelope said to her sister. Or maybe
a train, suggested Piper. Or maybe, continued Penelope. A taxi
to the airport, a quick ride in one of those
golf cart thingies, a nine hour first class flight to
a far away land, followed by a bus ride to
a train station, a train ride to a beach town,
and then finally, one last trip in a taxi taking
us straight to our hotel. Piper looked at her sister
like a few screws that had just come loose. Uh, Penelope,
you totally forgot that our hotel is probably on an island,
and therefore we'll either have to hang glide from the
taxi to our hotel or parachute out of a helicopter.
I can't believe you missed that. This is why mom, Andy,
don't put you in charge of planning our trips. Their
parents were now standing next to the car. Well, kids,
you were right about the first class flight, but if
you had let your father and I finished talking earlier,
you would have heard that this trip is just for
your father and I. The girls gasped. They looked terribly offended.
It was like their parents had just called them a
really mean, hurtful name, like poopyhead. What do you mean
you're going on a trip without us? Well, whatever possessed
you to do such a thing. Well, you know, this
is just one of those relaxing trips. The girls looked
even more appalled. A relaxing trip, questioned Penelope, What is
that supposed to mean? You don't think you can relax
when you've got a couple of excited daughters jumping up
and down asking you what are we gonna do next?
What are we going to do next? Their dad raised
his eyebrows. Uh, actually, girls, that's exactly what it is.
You expressed that better than I could have. I was
just gonna make something up about how you go would
be bored the entire time. But yeah, I like what
you said better. As disappointed as they were about not
getting the parachute out of a helicopter, at least the
girls recognized they weren't quite ready to start taking boring vacations. Besides,
didn't they often say that their parents looked like they
could use her relaxing vacation, though certainly not because of them. Well, guys,
just make sure you think of us when you're planning
your next trip, said Piper. And make sure it's on
one of those islands that's difficult to get to. A
moment later, the girl's broke into an argument over who
should be left in charge while their parents were away.
Penelope insisted she was the more responsible child and thus
the perfect candidate to be the boss of the house
for a week. Piper was adamant Penelope couldn't even look
after a doghouse, and that if left in charge, there
might not even be a house left for their parents
to come home to. Girls, you didn't think we would
leave you home alone for the entire week, did you.
I mean, if we did, we'd probably put doctor Gonzo
and Cloudy in charge before either of you. But now
we're not leaving you here alone by yourselves. My sister's
coming to stay for the week. Well, this totally made
up for not being included on their parents' trip. Piper
and Penelope had the coolest aunt ever, the kind of
aunt that lets you stay up late, eat cereal for supper,
and have dance parties on the roof. Yeah, Aunt Jannis
is coming. Aunt Jannis is coming. And then they found
out it was their mom's other sister who was coming. Oh,
Aunt Patty is coming. Aunt Patty is coming. Yay. Right
then they heard a voice that startled some birds out
of a nearby tree. Oh, where my girl's at. Hope
you got nothing planned for the next twenty minutes, because
I've got a whole lot of hugs and kisses coming
your way. Penelope leaned over to Piper and whispered, looks
like she laid the lipstick on extra thick just for
this occasion. Doctor Gonzo and Cloud he wanted no part
of this. They ran off to hide and never a
turn for the rest of the week. Good to see
you again, Aunt Patty, said their dad, trying not to
get too close to all that lipstick. We'll be getting
on our way shortly. But here, let me help you
with your bags. Their mother put on a pair of sunglasses.
Oh that's a very bright, cheerful outfit you've got on there, Patty.
Very bright and cheerful, isn't it wonderful? I actually made
it myself. I put it together using one hundred and
fifty different swatches of the brightest color fabric I could
find without sunglasses of their own. The girls had to
stand there shielding their eyes and check this out, said
Aunt Patty, bending down to give the girls a better
glimpse of her hat. See all that fruit on top
of my hat. Real fruit. She then popped off a
grape and offered it to the girls. Fresh grapes, anyone,
Mom said Penelope, while avoiding the grape. Are you sure
you don't want to try a relaxing vacation at home?
Even though it was only going to be a week,
it felt like they were saying goodbye for a year.
Mom and Dad had to pry the girls off their
legs they could get into the car. It was like
two koalas clinging to the branch of a tree. As
their parents' car pulled away, Aunt Patty started singing, just
the three of us, you here and I Oh, we
are just gonna have so much fun. Penelope and Piper
didn't think there was a very good chance of that happening. Girls,
I'm gonna teach you a really fun game. Or perhaps
they were wrong. It's just the sweetest little game. It's
called peekaboo. Nope, not wrong, Aunt Patty. I think We're
a little too old for peekaboo. That's kind of a
baby game. Aunt Patty told them nonsense, and then proceeded
to hide her face behind her hands. Peekaboo, she said
as she revealed her face. The pikaboo game went on
for much longer than it should have before Aunt Patty
finally allowed them to watch TV. Supper that night had
been interesting as well. Within minutes of finishing, Aunt Patty
tried shipping them off to bed. Aunt Patty. It's not
even close to our bedtime, protested Penelope, and Patty giggled.
Ah ha ha ha, you girls are good. I had
a feeling you try to pull something like this. Let
me guess your real bedtime is midnight? Is that what
you were gonna say? Nice? Try this. Old gal still
remembers your bedtimes from the last time. The last time
Aunt Patty did this was five years ago. Bedtimes change.
As Piper and Penelope laid in their beds, full sun
shining through their windows, the girls heard a knock at
the door. Can Piper and Penelope come out to play?
They heard a kid ask? At this hour? Answered Aunt Patty,
The girls are already in bed. The kid at the door,
was trying to decide if this woman was kidding around?
What do you mean they're in bed? Are they sick?
Young lady? It's bedtime. Shouldn't you be in bed too?
Does your mother know where you are? The next thing, Piper,
and and now I'll you heard was the sound of
footsteps running away, running far, far away. Oh Man, muttered Piper.
I don't think I've ever felt so embarrassed in my life.
This had only been the first day. The girls still
had the rest of the week to get through. At breakfast,
Aunt Patty made a shocking apology. Girls, I fear I
may have been treating you a little bit babyish yesterday,
and I'd like to say sorry for that. You girls
are growing up so fast. It feels like just yesterday
I could pick you up and hold you in my arms.
The girls hadn't expected this. Thanks for saying that, Aunt Patty.
Yesterday was a little awkward, but we forgive you. Oh
that's wonderful. Girls. After school, how about the three of
us get up to something a little more fun. Bet
you didn't know an old auntie like me knew anything
about having fun, did you. The girls didn't dare say
it but yes, that was true. They were completely unaware
that an old auntie like her knew had half fun.
While Piper was getting dressed for school, Aunt Patty barged
into her room. Aunt Patty, how little privacy? Please? Sorry, Piper,
but I just remembered I forgot to give him your gift.
You're definitely gonna want to show it off at school today.
Piper loved gifts, especially new clothes. Oh thanks, Aunt Patty,
I'll try it on right now. And that's when Piper
noticed what was written on the shirt, Aunt Patty's little
schmooky books. Oh oh my, thank you, thank you so much.
Below the words was a picture of Aunt Patty herself
making a kissy face. Would you believe? I made it myself,
just one of my many hidden talents. When Piper walked
into the bathroom to show her sister Penelope accidentally sprayed
toothpaste all over the place. Oh wow, what are you wearing, Piper.
Penelope didn't yet know it, but she was about to
get one too. Because you can't give one sister a
gift without giving one to the other. A lot of
thought went into how to position their arms so no
one at school could read their shirts. But of course
that only made things worse. Why are you holding your
arms like that? Penelope asked a friend at lunch. It's
like you're trying to hide that you peee your pants,
except with your shirt. You didn't pee your shirt, did you?
Before Penelope could explain, she heard a sound that made
her entire body go rigid. Yet it couldn't have been
her Aunt Patty's voice. She just heard not inside the school.
You who? I think there's a girl here who forgot
their lunch bag at home. Oopsie, poopsies. Good thing we
have Aunt Patty to the rescue. And it wasn't just
a simple hand off either. As Aunt Patty handed Penelope
her lunch, she began pummeling the poor girl with kisses.
And if that wasn't embarrassing enough, she then started dancing
around the room to the soft music penelopees teacher had
left on. The music was meant to keep the kids
from getting too rowdy, not to have your Aunt Patty
busting a move on the dance floor, and especially not
to then have your Aunt Patty start making up words
to a song that didn't even have words. Penelope was mortified.
Piper was still hearing about it as they walked through
their front door after school. Upon stepping inside, Penelope stopped talking.
Their house looked completely different, and by different, I mean clean.
It had been a while since their house looked thus clean. Wow,
Aunt Patty, the place looks great, Piper exclaimed. Aunt Patty
was standing behind an ironing board in the middle of
the living room. Glad you girls like it. I'm just
removing the wrinkles from the last load of laundry here
and then I'll be all yours. Piper and Penelope's parents
never had time to iron the laundry. Maybe if they
were going to a wedding, but that was about it.
Aunt Patty, is that a pair of my underwear you're ironing?
You iron underwear? Can't send you to school wearing a
wrinkly pair of underwear, answered their Aunt Patty. Because apparently
it was okay to go to school with a shirt
that said Aunt Patty's smooky boots, but it wasn't okay
to go to school wearing a pair of wrinkly underwear
that no one would actually see. And remember what I
said this morning about having some proper fun together. I
didn't forget. How would you girls, feel about staying up
late playing video games while snacking on party mix. The
girls looked at each other with delight. This day had
just gotten ten times better. Mom and Dad never let
them stay up late playing video games on a school night.
Thank you, Aunt Patty. You're the coolest aunt ever. I know,
I know, but don't you go begging your parents to
stay on vacation for an extra week. Now. Aunt Patty
had actually bought them a brand new video game, a
game she had been told was about to become super popular.
It's called Going Bananas. You start out by counting how
many bananas you see on the screen before the big
monkey comes out and takes them away. Then you get
to figure out how many bananas the monkey took and
how many bananas are left. If you get it right,
you get to level up and get this The higher
levels have even more bananas. Oh, a math video game, huh,
said Piper. Penelope wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. Well,
whoever sold you that video game sure knows a lot
about the types of video games kids like. At least
the girls didn't have to stay up too late counting
bananas because Aunt Patty fell asleep on the sofa. During
the first level, she was snoring so loudly the girls
had to exit the room. Even the big bag of
party mix was a disappointment. Aunt Patty had emptied all
the chips, cheeses, and pretzels and refilled the bag with
carrots and celery. Piper, We've got to do something here.
This week is going to take five weeks to get through.
At this rate, it feels like the clock is moving
in the opposite direction. But none of the parents of
any of their friends were willing to host a five
days sleepover party. Even one night, they were told was
a little too much. What if we ask the teachers
if we can sleep over at the school? Isn't that
every teacher's dream to have a student who wants to
stay after the bell? Penelope was reaching at this point, No,
answered Piper, I don't even think the teachers want to
stay past the bell. I once heard Miss Paperback squeal
her car tires just to get ahead of the school buses.
In a final act of desperation, the girls called their
parents and begged them to come home a few days early. Oh,
I really wish we could do that, girls, I really
really do. Your father and I are just having the
most boring vacation ever. As their mother was saying this,
the girls could hear their dad cannonballing into a pool shouting,
this is the best week ever. I know your Aunt
Patty can be a lot, but with people like that,
it sometimes helps if you can be a lot. So
get back in there and be al, and you'll probably
have a lot more fun that way. This got the
girls thinking maybe it would help if they did make
a change, and maybe it would help a lot if
Aunt Patty changed too. They greeted their aunt in the
morning with the exciting news that it was a special day,
a day called opposite Day, a day where everyone could
act the opposite of how they normally acted. The girls
had a lot of fun with this. They basically just
pretended to be Aunt Patty all day. They were loud,
they were kooky, and most of all, they were a lot.
But for Aunt Patty acting the opposite of how she
normally did meant she was now acting mean. You better
start doing your homework this instant, or the two of
you will be grounded. Oh, Piper, did we forget to
tell Aunt Patty that opposite stay ends in the middle
of the day. Kind of like with April Fool's Day.
It's over now, shucks. Things turned even worse when a
group of their friends told them they had been invited
to play at their house after school. Wait, you're coming
to our house after school like today? Eh? No way,
maybe next week, but not today. And that's when they
were told it was Aunt Patty who had invited them over.
Didn't you see your aunt walking around the school yard
this morning? She was holding a photo of the two
of you. She kept going around to everyone, asking them
if they recognized either of you and whether or not
they were your friends. She thought, the whole reason you
two hadn't had any friends over this week was because
you didn't want to make any extra trouble for her.
But she said that was a bunch of hooey, because
she didn't mind you girls having friends over one bit.
The girls wondered if they had any chance of convincing
their teachers to keep everyone at school until bedtime. Many
of their friends did make it over that night, but
none of them stayed very long. Most of them got
scared off when Aunt Patty started asking if anyone needed
their underwear ironed before playtime, and Patty even tried talking
like she was one of them, and on three different
occasions she mentioned the forbidden numbers? Which two numbers I'm
talking about? But as the last of their friends were
saying goodbye, they heard one friend say, I can't wait
until I'm a grown up. It must be so nice
to act however you want and not have to worry
about what people think. If there was one thing they
could say about their Aunt Patty, it's that she was
always comfortable being herself no matter who was watching. They
thought about how much fun they'd had the day before
when they spent all that time acting like Aunt Patty.
It may have felt silly, but maybe their aunt was
onto something. And what if you didn't have to wait
until you were a grown up before unleashing your inner
Aunt Patty. For the rest of the week, I'm just
gonna let it all out, announced Penelope. It's like Mom said,
this week will be a lot more fun if we
try to match Aunt Patty's vibes. No reason for us
to be a stick in the mud. Piper was thinking
the same thing. You know, what's this. I think I
might make my own clothes to wear to school tomorrow.
No fabric needed, just some give rap and tape the
Aunt Patty way. In the morning, Penelope loaded up on
lipstick and gave Aunt Patty a dozen kisses on the cheek.
Then after school they opened the door with a you
who underwear police? Hope no one is walking around with
wrinkle anddies. But when their Aunt Patty came downstairs, they
saw she was carrying a suit case. Aunt Patty, what
are you doing? We still have another day and a
half before our parents get back. Yeah, I'm really sorry
about this, girls, but I'm gonna have to be leaving
a little early. I just remembered I'm supposed to be
hosting my book club tomorrow. But good news. I called
your Aunt Jannis and she's gonna come stay with you
till your parents get back. Hopefully it won't be too
bored with her around. Spending time with Aunt Jana's was
never boring. She was a very cool aunt. But this
didn't feel right. Had their Aunt Patty figured out about
the phone call to their parents, Come on, Aunt Patty,
you've got to finish the week with us. We were
about to make you a shirt that said Penelope and
Piper's number one underwear ironer. Why not just have your
book club come here. It will be great, and Patty
was getting fidgety. Ah, have the book club come here
while you two are home. It seemed like a good
idea to the girls. Yeah, you won't even notice us,
and Patty still wasn't convinced. But we might notice you girls.
And well, it's just that you girls have been acting
a little bit strangely lately. The girls both turned to
each other at the same time, knowing exactly what this meant. Oh,
my goodness, sister, do you know what this means? Aunt
Patty is embarrassed to be seen with us. We just
out Aunt pattied Aunt Patty. The end that that's the story.
And here is your question of the week. What is
your favorite memory of one of your relatives and true story.
I actually have a relative who irons their underwear. You
can't make that stuff up anyway. Thanks to Piper and
Penelope and shout out to Luca and Scott from East Haven, Connecticut,
Player from New York, Jack and Poppy from Sacramento, Olivia,
and Max from Calgary, Sterling, Joseph and Madeline from Rochester,
New York, Quia and Bihan from Mumbai, India. Noel Jonathan, Danielle,
Henry and new baby Gideon from Denver, Pennsylvania. Jacob, Jonah
and Charbelle from Sydney, Australia, William from Warman, and Aiden
Washington from Austin, Texas. Thanks so much for listening and
I'll catch you on the next one,