Speaker 1: Jen does not have any urgency either. She's she's hold.
Speaker 2: Up in the top bunk with wearing sunglasses. I just
got funked up in.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, she might as well have been smoking a cigarette,
and Joe says that no. Joy Joy says that she
fears the Jen and Luke might have.
Speaker 2: Kissed last movie band.
Speaker 1: I fear I fear there are crumb on this shoots.
Speaker 3: Hi Helan, Welcome to bad TV.
Speaker 1: I'm Dylan.
Speaker 2: That is Patrick, permission to come aboard.
Speaker 1: What you said? Did you get yourself a Stanley?
Speaker 2: Yea, Uh, it's actually Elliott's.
Speaker 1: Are you drinking water? Now?
Speaker 2: It's gatorade?
Speaker 1: Okay, because I was blown away that you were drinking water.
I don't think I've ever seen you drink water.
Speaker 2: I don't drink water.
Speaker 1: What it's a Gatorade zero? I'm assuming gatorade zero. You
would not gatorade. That's some much sugar. I don't think
you'd touch that stuffummy, it would hurt your tummy. Yeah.
The fucking gallons of aspartame a day do not hurt
your time.
Speaker 2: I am fine a fake Sugardylli.
Speaker 1: You are a new species of man. Calen your share
as well, Pat, Yes, great, episode of In the City
that we just dropped a Patreon dot com. Yes, Slatch
another podcast network, as well as APS, which.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so on this APS, I discussed essentially my week
where I took the kids to SeaWorld, which is.
Speaker 1: The most blackfish SeaWorld.
Speaker 2: That's right. Uh, be careful what you wish for when
you support these documents entries, because while that doc did
the right thing, which is we should not entrap large
mammals with intelligence and make them do backflips and such,
you certainly do ruin a good thing.
Speaker 1: Why you ruin the imagination in the childhood of millions
right now?
Speaker 2: It's an institution of learning which is burrying.
Speaker 3: Are there rides at SeaWorld?
Speaker 2: There are rides, lots and lots of rides. Yeah, but
if I want to go to on rides, I would
have just gone to Disneyland, but I drove three and
a half hours.
Speaker 1: Well, there are less surero eating turkey leg monsters at
SeaWorld than there are at Disney.
Speaker 2: Oh no, there's lots of turkey leg stands and as
Galen had warned me, a Marguerita booth every fifteen feet
to remind you to just get drunk because you're going
to be sad. Otherwise, SeaWorld sucks, and I'll talk about
it on APS. The other thing I'm going to talk
about is going to the Hollywood Bowl to see the
Beach Boys and some of these legacy bands with very
few original members but the ones that are still alive are.
Speaker 1: It's a little bit like Kirk Douglas getting rolled out
for a Lifetime Achievement.
Speaker 2: Award, but with a microphone in his hand. Yeah, with
the the expectation that they'll sing like they did when
they were twenty two.
Speaker 1: No, no, no Saturdays. Agn But yeah, so we'll talk
about all that.
Speaker 2: Thinking about good fine gray shuns. I had to cover
my daughter's eyes because I didn't want to see it
because it was scary too.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, No, it's not Halloween yet. It's July fourth,
So go to Patronic com Slash another podcast network for
all of that. Pat Yes, what'd you think of this episode?
Speaker 2: It was an amazing episode. A few things here. The
idea of these sea rats one component that I don't
think we discussed a lot about a sea rat, and
one of their worst characteristics that they have is impulse control.
Luke the idea that he is going to splat on
another sea rat, and within twenty four hours he thinks
that he is going to end that relationship and take
up with another sea rat.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm so I'm so happy that I can't
find this. It's the it's the video of Catherine Zida
Jones holding Kirk Douglas's hand at the Academy Awards.
Speaker 2: Oh that's our father in law.
Speaker 1: For yes, whose son? Were you the one that said
he her you can beat me? Now?
Speaker 2: He ate her pussy too much and it gave him
tongue cancer. That's a good way to get cancer. Hey,
how'd you get cancer and die? Pussy?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I beat that. I way too much pussy and
I actually I got cancer.
Speaker 2: That's actually how I want to die.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2: Go on, go out doing what you love.
Speaker 1: You know, were selfless loves. But back to the splat.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, So Luke thinks he's going to have sex
with someone and then dump that person when he gets
the ickys, and then why not give it a week?
I mean, you're gonna be on this boat at least
for I don't know, six weeks. But the lack of
impulse control that he needs to end this relationship and
then immediately find love with joy Boy and then this
prick I'm speaking of Luke. I want to defend Jen here.
We played the psycho music quite a bit, Kaylen.
Speaker 1: Can you actually pull that back up? Please?
Speaker 2: All right? How dare Jen?
Speaker 1: He is? Kaylen? Hears us call for the psycho music,
and he panics because he's got to switch the show.
Invariably we're going to ask him the difference between a
kilometer or in a mile at some point or something
like that, and then he's got to play the psycho music.
So I feel for him, but it's very important to
have this psycho music ready because tonight we get some
Alfred Hitchcock shit.
Speaker 2: Fair enough, Yeah, all right. Jen is a little psycho,
but it's not for the reasons that Luke sites when
she says, hey, you entered my vrgina last night, and
so me asking you like, hey, is everything okay? Or
do you want to hang out? And you like your
I are you? What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Who are you?
Speaker 2: Her words? Not mine?
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? I'm saying I get that
when you are allowed to entry into the eden of
a woman, there are certain things that you're responsible for,
but not not in an ecosystem of c ratdom, those
rules are do not apply the throne to the waters.
Speaker 2: I look, the sperm on Nate's bunk isn't even dry yet,
and he's already like giving her the cold shoulder. I
think it's mean spirited. Yeah, and I think it's wrong
to treat her like she's the crazy one. Yeah, he's
the dick, and we should not side with that type
of behavior.
Speaker 1: Two things can be true. Is she from Massachusetts?
Speaker 2: No, but she reminds me of a few of those.
Speaker 1: I think, Okay, all right, go ahead hit it. Well,
see he needs some time. Okay, he's gonna he's gonna
get into it.
Speaker 2: But okay, we'll we'll talk about I'm defending Jen here. Okay,
they had sex. I think it's fair for her to
be in her mind where she was, although she did
lick a little cuckoo, staying up till three in the
morning for him to wake up for that shift.
Speaker 1: The guests just went down. No, they did not.
Speaker 2: Love the episode. Fourteen nods.
Speaker 1: So there is a come on the sheets of a
manager a boss this episode. That's something that we've never
seen before. We've never seen a subordinate come on his
boss's sheets and the most fascinating thing, and we'll break
down the entire thing is the lethargy, an apathy that
is dispatched to remedy this very problematic situation, a situation
that could lead to one hulking, giant, dick faced Luke
getting fired next week.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you something. You come in my bed, you
better get it off, uh or you're fucking fire right,
sound of a bit.
Speaker 1: Listen, I'm not happy that you climaxed in my bed.
I'm not happy that you shot your froth on my sheets.
But if you did get it in the dryer after
the washer and make it snappy, one hundred pots. This
episode was incredible. Let me tell you something not to
mention Game of Throne stuff. I loved this episode. These
people are my kind of people, not the sea rats,
the guests.
Speaker 2: I agree. Yeah, one thought about Nate as I felt
for him because bride Jizz has a very unique type
of texture texture, and if you sleep on it, and
not saying person with personal experience, but I would gather
it's like someone ate cookies on your bed, you know,
and you're sleeping on it cheese. It's yeah, it's unpleasant.
Did someone.
Speaker 1: With someone doing paper mache in my bed. No, it's
actually come I thought it was. That makes so much
sense I'd kill him. Yeah, there was a three old,
three day old. Elmer's kind of quality to it.
Speaker 2: And the apathy, as you mentioned, speaks to both sea rats. Yeah,
for sure, neither one is to blame less or more.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen those sheets come through. Well, take care
of it. Then there's come on them. It's like a
firefighter going, I'll look at there's a cat up in
that tree. Get a ladder. What are you doing? Your
job is to clean sheets, even if there's no comm
on them. A sheets have come, you have to clean Caylen,
how many pots do you give the episode? Don't give
it ninety nine and don't give it one hundred.
Speaker 2: Can I start us off?
Speaker 1: Of course?
Speaker 2: Okay, so the night wind's down, we got Coop and Cat.
They cuddle. Those two are just cute. Hey, Coop and
Joe's taking over a new leaf. He's not gonna be
the pig we've seen in past seasons. He's gonna take
it slow. That's funny, right, and try and figure out
where they are because he's moved too fast in the past.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a ton of sea ruts are slamming and banging right.
Speaker 2: Now, right now, you can hear it, and that's you know.
And then, of course, and we have Luke and Jen
and they're doing their thing. Now. I've been in a
number of romantic entanglements in the past.
Speaker 1: Let's do this. Let's hold off on the sting until
because I saw you look over at him.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I wasn't gonna play that, Okay, No, no, no,
I was.
Speaker 1: Gonna We're gonna hold off. Yes, well, the levees will
break at some point because no, I was trying to.
Speaker 2: Connect with him, because I know he's been in a
few romantic relationships. To you too, I think too.
Speaker 1: Oh no, not me.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, well call me crazy. But when your partner
swears you to secrecy immediately following a nut busting, I
think you're you might be getting off on the wrong foot.
Speaker 1: The kids call it a red flag.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Hey, by the way, that was that was awesome. Can
you die with that secret? Oh? I didn't know it
is a secret it is. Can you die with it?
Speaker 2: Can you not mention that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Wow?
Speaker 2: Who said chivalry is dead?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Chival chivalry? Chivalry now to be fair to Luke, this
was an attempt of kindness to make sure that she
didn't feel like she was sex.
Speaker 1: Okay, so right, this is my thing. And and yes
we as as girl dads, we implore men to be better.
Speaker 2: Right, But there's worse things than second Dylan, like being
treated like a fucking leper.
Speaker 1: Right, uh huh?
Speaker 2: Like what he essentially turns her into for the following
twelve hours.
Speaker 1: On that boat. Oh yeah, I mean he he essentially
she she transforms from a flashlight into someone who needs
to be inoculated. It's really disgusting how he's treating her.
But well, I guess we can get into it now.
I think that you are a week removed from the
last ten minutes of this episode where there was a
bit of a Kathy Bates kind of flirtation going on.
Oh I remember with Jen. So you know, while it's
it's foolish and selfish, you know, there's this this game
he plays with himself where he goes, she is really
coming on, you know, let's let's do this, and maybe
you know, one part of you goes, oh, we're going
to alleviate it, and then the demon who's really taking
over goes you're not trying to alleviate anything. You're just
trying to come. But there is a little bit of like,
my god, she really wants to have sex.
Speaker 2: I think, okay, So as I do as a mature adult,
as I became later on in my life, as you know,
I was a man whore.
Speaker 1: You start just a whore.
Speaker 2: Well, you start doing the math, and you start going like, that's.
Speaker 3: A long dh that's bad mathgo.
Speaker 2: So you start going like, is this really I don't
want to hurt her feelings? Because I really I would
just like to have sex with her and never speak
to her again. And then you're mature enough to go
no thanks, right right, because then we're going to wake
up the next morning, and then we're gonna have to
go to breakfast well and wake.
Speaker 1: Up the next morning. They do, and as any good
male sea rat deckhand would after climaxing, he says, get
out of my bed now, now he he will. She
said that she didn't want to be in the bed
because she doesn't want to be next to men's sweating.
But she gets in the bottom bunk.
Speaker 2: This is so sad.
Speaker 1: It's incredibly sad. I'm not going to compare this to
any behaviors that happen at truck stops. But it did
remind me of Shenanigan's at truck stops. Okay, you get
some sleep. I know you've had a nineteen hour shift
and you're cranked out. I will be in the shipping
contain what I said. I don't need to get into it.
Hey everyone, we are bad TV and we are sponsored
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weight is hard, make it easier with ROE. She's in
the bottom bunk ready to be thrust upon the next morning.
Speaker 2: That's right, Okay, there is a right side to this.
The next morning, well, there's will reconnect again in the
boss's bunk. You get a hand job and Jackson Pollock,
that motherfucker with his wang.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, yeah, I will see you tomorrow morning for
a hand drub and my boss's bed. Now Cooper wakes,
and here's the guttural sounds of less than come from
inside Nathan and Luke's bunk, and countdown here begins. We've
we've got a Jack Bauer kind of situation here where
not only did Luke at a hand job on his
boss's bed, but he came all over the sheets. So
beep beep, he is coming back to the bow. Okay, Now, this,
this version of twenty four would be like if Jack
Bower was.
Speaker 2: Four squares, right, So we're gonna have one of the
squares will just be staring at said as you've refer
to multiple times, the I will call it a packer juice.
Speaker 1: That's so much better. That's so much better than come.
Speaker 2: Baby batter.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead and call it come.
So there's coming these sheets. But but let's get back
to Jack Bauer. But let's approach twenty four hours. We're
twenty four with the apathy of the Sea rats. So
Jack Bower is told by Marylyn race Cup that there
are gie hottists aiming to destroy the city. Now, what
does Jack Bauer do if he's Luke and or Jen.
First goes and gets a turkey sandwich from Jersey mics.
It's a long line, but he's hungry. Okay, So that's
gonna eat about an hour, then a car wash vinegar.
It smells like kettle cooked potato chips. So we're gonna
go to the car wash. Then we're just gonna get
to a point where millions are dead. That's what's going
to happen with these two. Luke's going to get fired
because he just for some reason does not care. These
are self sabotage.
Speaker 2: Want him to get fired for this because I want
him to have to explain this at his next job interview.
Look great to have you in here. Everything looks great
on your TV, but it does say for undisclosed reasons
you you were terminate at at your last job. Not Look,
I don't want to make a big thing out of this,
but because this is so gray. Could you please explain,
you know, why did you get fired?
Speaker 1: Dude? Do you want me to be Luke?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 1: Oh okay, sorry, I wasn't ready. Let me just get
into character really quickly. Yeah, there were there were a
lot of egos on board. I felt like the boats
and didn't really what wasn't prepared for the station. So
I actually left. I left the boat. You left?
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, you didn't come on your boss's sheets. I
don't know what.
Speaker 1: You're talking about. I told you that there. I mentioned
the egos I did. You're correct, I left out the
fact that I did. I climaxed on my boss's sheets.
Speaker 2: Hey, dude, I don't want to tell you how to come.
Thank you, but uh you never think of I don't know,
throwing those sheets in the washer?
Speaker 1: Well, I did think about it. I thought about it
for about twenty four hours. It was a big tug
of war in my mind do I do I not?
And then the interview goes, do you or do you not?
Clean the com off of your bosses? She she thought
about that for twenty four hours. My god, you're hired. Wow? Okay,
all right, so let's move on to the fourth minute
of the show.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, yeah, yeah, where are we?
Speaker 1: Well? Can I say? Jen does not have any urgency either.
She's no, she's hold up in the top bunk.
Speaker 2: With wearing sunglasses.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just got fucked up in yeah yeah. Yeah.
She might as well have been smoking a cigarette, and
Joe says that no. Joe Joy says that she fears
that Jen and Luke might have kissed last night. I
fear worse. I fear there are sheets. No.
Speaker 2: Actually, for the lack of any caring. If it were
not for the lack of caring, your dirty socks and
his fucking baby, Pace would have been mixing it up
in the spin cycle right now.
Speaker 1: Right right exactly, That's where it went. Yeah, but there
would have been enough to detergent, if not enough deturged. Yeah, exactly.
So Luke told Jen to keep her mouth shut. This
is not something that she actually does. Mere half hours
after she has stroked Luke onto Nathan's bed, she tells Kat, Hey,
well we had sex last night.
Speaker 2: That's what women do. They they're actually worse than us.
Speaker 1: Men do it too. If Jen told Luke to not
tell anybody, first thing he would have done is gone
to Joe and go, hey, last night smell that's not okay?
Speaker 2: All right, all right? She did do graphic detail though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's got the Jennifer COOLi shades on. She's smoking
a Virginia slimb. Also telling war stories.
Speaker 2: Also, when asked how was it, she went, yeah, isn't
that funny?
Speaker 1: I feel like the prettiest people are always the worst
in bed. He's got such a good body. I feel
like he just fucking hammer dicks. And it's like, maybe
pay attention to what her body's telling you. That's right,
don't just hulk mania her vaginal cavity, you know, because
there's a time and a place for that.
Speaker 2: But hey, get in the comments. When old old Patty
used to have this habit like having sex, Like if
you had just asked like, hey, if you do it
the right way and the right moment, you ask like, hey,
is there something I can do?
Speaker 1: Or that?
Speaker 2: Is that right?
Speaker 1: I don't know how to do that? How do you
do that?
Speaker 2: I used to do it all the time, you ask
I would be like, as we're like working each other over, Yeah,
you like this is this cool?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And they'll tell you some of them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you think there's a cool hand, Luke, way to
pull that off?
Speaker 2: Well, I used to do it. I don't remember because
it's been so goddamn long.
Speaker 1: Yeah you're pretty drunk too, that's true. What happens to that?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 2: So then uh Nate returns and Jen and Luke I
guess they don't attend to those sheets. And then Coop
asked Nate if he has permission to go on a
date with Cat.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Nathan's like, yeah, for sure, that's great.
Speaker 2: And then we have red fried sheet made.
Speaker 1: The thrones people with Pat.
Speaker 2: He looks like a pat, big round, red fucking face,
looks like a pumpkin. You don't want to sit behind
that guy at a concert, you know?
Speaker 1: Oh god? You know when you sit behind certain people
at events and it's like, I understand that there's not
a lot you can do, but there's an air of
remorse that I'd like you to have, And there's certain
hulking It's usually it's men. I just got hulking idiots
that are just standing up or sitting down and there's
no effort to slink or at all. You're just like,
what are you doing?
Speaker 2: Look? My height offers me so many advantages in life, yeah,
that at a concert or something where I'm blocking someone.
That's one small thing that I can give to you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so conscious of it, because you know, you
just should be conscious. Pretend it's a city, right. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I'll look behind me whenever I'm sitting down at the
movies or something. If I see like a little kid
behind me or something, I'll last to switch.
Speaker 1: Yeah you want to swim to see. Yeah, we're good people, Kaitlyn,
You're you're you don't have that problem because you're interesting.
Thing about Kaylin he's not legally a midget, but he
is five foot one, so that's that's a cool thing
about Kaylen. Game of Thrones, I think I'm gonna do
a rewatch. I think I've had enough distance from Don't
get me wrong, I'll never watch season six or seven ever.
Speaker 2: Blasphemy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll probably stop at four. But I love Game
of Thrones people. I think that these people, you know,
while some of them are fucking posers.
Speaker 2: They were they didn't even know the names of some.
Speaker 1: Of the count Veris the bald guy, get the fuck
out of here. But Croatia dubrevnik Is is the two
to Game of Thrones people. What New Zealand is to
Lord of the Rings fans, you know, so I would
say that if you're going to Croatia, you know, definitely
do this. Now, we'll come to find out that the
walking Tour of Game of Thrones through Dubrevnik will be
hosted and helmed inn mceed by Cat, which is a
little crazy, but that's fine.
Speaker 2: You know, she had a map quest in some pictures
of the buildings with a little uh yeah, little. I mean,
I'd argue they could have done that on their own.
Speaker 1: I was just about to argue that before you argue it.
So but anyways they want.
Speaker 2: You'd be very unhappy to know that the last Jedi,
the Casino Planet whatever, that fucking piece of shit movie
scene was also filmed in the same city.
Speaker 1: You remember that they went to a casino planet. There
were diamond foxes. Benizio del Toro was a good guy
and he was a bad guy. And he was a
good guy and he was a bad guy. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Jennifer Anderson's ex husband was in a scene for two
seconds wearing a.
Speaker 1: Pin, smoking some lay. He was like a madame or something.
What a fucking dog shit movie. I can't get it out.
Of my craws.
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 1: There's no amount of therapy I could go through that
could allow me to ease the hatred I have for
that film and that man.
Speaker 2: My daughter and I watched Return of the Jedi last
night two nights go sorry, and I've come to.
Speaker 1: This awakening epiphany. It's a bad movie.
Speaker 2: No, it's how are you going to outdo three of
the greatest movies that have ever been done? Talking about
I'm talking about a New Hope and Part strikes back
in Return of the Jedi. They're perfect? Just leave it alone.
Nothing else.
Speaker 1: You watched Return of the Jedi? I did, so how
how are you going to out to the two?
Speaker 2: I'm no, I'm saying those three movies are perfect. Don't
make any more other shit after that. Nothing is ever
going to be as epic or as good as those
So stop it.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, do we have crickets in here? Sounds
like it.
Speaker 2: Well that probably sayings shut up about Star Wars.
Speaker 1: Thank you crickets. You're one hundred percent right, because you
know what I was about to do. I was about
to make the case. Listen on this show. I was
about to start talking about we have crickets in here.
That's how many people are listening to this conversation.
Speaker 2: All right, all right, So the boat gets turned around
and Joy and Luke chat.
Speaker 1: Is it not on the YouTube? Are you pulling up
a sound bed of crickets?
Speaker 2: No, it's in here.
Speaker 1: It's getting God.
Speaker 2: Hopefully the audience doesn't hear it.
Speaker 1: Oh, they definitely hear it. That's crazy, that's crazy. Well hopefully.
Speaker 2: Hey, let's let's let's keep it going.
Speaker 1: Let's keep it going. And this is a sound bed.
We will kill the cricket parables of bad luck. Fuck off.
We will kill this thing, but for now, until it's
it meets its demise. Treat it like a call map,
like you're going to bed or something.
Speaker 2: That's right, all right, The boat gets turned around. Joy
and Luke chat and he describes his night to her
as absolutely miserable.
Speaker 1: Do we need to kill this thing now?
Speaker 2: It's good luck trying to do I remember we tried
to do that the first night we got in this studio.
There was a cricket in here. We were climbing on ladders,
spraying bug spray everywhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I took about a year off our lives.
It definitely did. Yeah, fucking Jim Andy, have fun for now.
We will find you bitch, all right. Okay, So Luke
is not doing well with Joy. She's gone full French Nazi, that's.
Speaker 2: Right, yes, And she asked him how the night was
and he said it was absolutely miserable. And hand jobs
are like pizza. There's no such thing as a.
Speaker 1: Bad hand job. There are.
Speaker 2: But well, unless the girl has no fingers Patrick, even
then it's just sad. It's not miserable.
Speaker 1: My god, he flagged that. Please, let's get to Cooper
Dawson's rules of dating.
Speaker 2: I'll help him out here.
Speaker 1: Okay, what an idiot. I hate to say it, but
I think gone of the day is the Southern gentleman
because it's like, you can kiss me on the first date.
It's fine, which he does, but you know, come on, yeah,
I help him out.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna help him out.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: First off, you know, I actually agree with the first
you got to pay on the first date, pay the.
Speaker 1: First three dates.
Speaker 2: You have to pay for the dates, and then also
you know, open the doors and stuff like that. But
she's gonna be really disappointed after like six months when
you're not doing that anymore, because we stop doing that
probably after well, honestly, after we have sex with you
like six times or something.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I mean to quote Rick Glassman, you know,
can you do it? You can't? Then do it?
Speaker 2: Just open the door the girl should, right, Yeah, yeah,
it's a nice thing to do. It is win her
heart and stop doing it. To be fair, they stop
doing stuff too.
Speaker 1: We all right, My wife ordered a salad the first
time we ever, we ever went out to dinner we
got back from Italy. You know what, We ordered Mexican pizzas,
a great deal of them. And that's the beautiful thing
about growing into a relationship with somebody you don't have
to put on airs. Now, the Mexican pizza is better
than the salad you got from Hugos with green goddess dressing.
Get out of here.
Speaker 2: Why are we putting on that facade? Oh wait, it's
because we want to be attractive. And then we fall
in love and then we say, you know what, I
don't care what you think about me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's love. And then you hit a wall and
you go, I think we should start caring about what
the other person thinks about the other person. Again, you go,
I agree, because you're just forwarding openly. We have to talk.
Speaker 2: About this, all right, okay, all right, date night, all right,
So always be a gentleman, open door, the second roul,
no kissing or whatever would a loser. You absolutely can
kiss on the first aid. I know you can probably
get to third base. That's totally cool. And then, uh, meanwhile,
Lou calls his mom because you know, he's caught in
that triangle or something, and.
Speaker 1: Fuck boys always call their moms.
Speaker 2: Well, we're gonna get to that because what is that?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 2: Because we get some sa rat history here though. Yeah, okay,
everybody strap in. I hope we're all sitting down. See
your at history. His father took off when he was five.
Wow are we all done? Oh?
Speaker 3: You been a dollar?
Speaker 1: Wow? Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was raised by his mother, which is this
is the crazy thing. So his dad was clearly a
piece of ship, and now the absence of the father
actually creates another male piece of ship.
Speaker 1: Yes, it does. It's really it's it's a really sad cycle,
you know. Not not to quote again the disgrace Luisy K.
But I just watched a special and it's so funny.
But he talks about his father, uh, not feeling like it,
and there are so many dads out there that have children,
and then they just go, yeah, I don't, nah, I
don't really, I'm out of here. It sounds like it's
like it's not someone asking you to help them move.
It's actually a human that you created. Now, so you
can't you can't go nah, I'll actually I'll hit you
up later.
Speaker 2: It is. It's funny because it is kind of done nonchalantly,
with that same kind of you know I yeah, Like
you can be sitting at a bar with a guy
and you're like, uh, you got you have a kid? Off,
I got, I got three? Where are they? They're living
in Arizona. Oh, but we're in North Dakota.
Speaker 1: We are, we are. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I wasn't getting along with the mother and I was
like she's a bitch. And then the other dude's like cool, yeah, no,
Like people should be like, that's fucked up, man, right
right right? We don't or we didn't, and now I
hopefully we do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're trying to get better.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, those two little qtis have just like the best
date ever.
Speaker 1: I know. These two are so adorable.
Speaker 2: Now can I jump in here? I'll move us along
a little faster. Meanwhile, later Nate lays on those soiled linens.
Speaker 1: Yes he does.
Speaker 2: Okay, Now I'm personally offended by this. I believe it's
both Luke and Jen's responsibility and the fact that they
neglected their duties to ensure that this would be cleaned
is on both of them. Yes, Jesse on another man's
sleeping quarters and brushing it off is it's it's It's
not like dropping loose change on the man's bed.
Speaker 1: It's no. This is a carnal kind of atavastic i'mordial
call back to a power struggle between men. This is
something that hunter gatherer tribes would do. This is such
an egregious affront to another man that it can only
be met with termination. But it makes me think of
Nate being a dad right now. One there's Gail texts
him that this is so hard, and I simply cannot
fucking believe that Gail is here with this kid by herself.
It's impossible. It's so hard to do by yourself. But
Nate is going back. I would imagine he's not just
catching z's all night.
Speaker 2: No, you had a little fun, Heaven's no oh.
Speaker 1: No no no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2: I try to have sex with my wife like a
year after and she hit me in over the head
with a fucking frying pan. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: I love the viagra story so much. What are you doing?
I'm ordering viagra.
Speaker 2: That's where we are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh wow, what a desolate place we are in.
Well I'll get better, I hope. I'll just keep my
thumb in the air, so I hope somebody picks me up.
Speaker 2: Look, dyl, I'm happy to report three years after that, Yeah,
we are in a good place.
Speaker 1: Yep. Listen, the soldiers on the Eastern Front were not
in those trenches forever hearing the cries of the people
that they had bayonetted. You move on. The wounds never heal,
but you move on. Nate is taking care of this
child because his wife is not sleeping ever. She is
on always and she's dealing with a infant on her own.
So when he gets there, he's probably lending a helping hand.
He's probably up at three o'clock in the morning. Now
you can see the level of fatigue and carelessness in
Nate when he operates heavy machinery, just does anything around
the boat. But this moment where I don't know what
the lighting situation is. If another man came on my bed,
as we mentioned, there is an arts and crafts kind
of quality to the new addition to these sheets, you
would see it. It wouldn't just completely blend in to
the thread count. You would see a little change in
the patterning. Now, perhaps we can give him a little
bit of grace because he's tired and he didn't see it.
Maybe slow lighting. But when you get into that bed
with your hasty British body with a fucking eagle tattoo
to grade your jest or whatever it is, and you
don't feel that you need to catch some more disease, yeah,
thank god for uh.
Speaker 2: I guess it's a is exhaustion.
Speaker 1: So Jen's got a big fucking mouth. She said she
would clean the sheets, and she never did, and we
waked the next day. I'm confused about whose responsibility this was.
Speaker 2: It's okay, it would be Jen's responsibility as someone who's
in charge of laundry, right, yes, okay, But it's Luke's
seeing as he was the provocateur right the unloading on
set sheets.
Speaker 1: Ah, so this gets this hearkens back to the twenty
four I went and got a turkey sandwich. I thought
you were clipping the wires, and it's like no, no, no,
I was geolocating. You were supposed to flip the wires.
Then explosion and Luke's fired. So this is going to
be a catastrophe.
Speaker 2: They both have their head in the clouds.
Speaker 1: Yes, So the guests arrive. Aisha thought that brothers and
sisters that were fucking we're going to arrive with dragons.
But it's just guests now. Kaylee, her father once told
her sticks and stones can break my bones. But that
bitch is wrong about everything. I love that saying, but
it does beg the question, why are you spilling over
champagne every time you pour it into a flute? You
absolute lunatic? What is going on? She poured three flutes
of champagne. They all almost fucking spilled over the bill
and I saw that. Yeah, yeah, what are you doing?
That's wild? So the guests are really sweet and we
have a ton of meanwhiles here. I don't know where
we're at this daddy.
Speaker 2: I'll give me while. Sorry, all right, Well, first off,
Luke realizes Joy is going to be pretty pissed off
at him if she finally she realized that he actually
sex with Jen boat docks, water toys. Jen is now
happy to be seconds to so she can focus more
on that. Luke, you got that sound effect over there?
Hit it, buddy, hey go. He's really happy about that.
Speaker 1: I was wondering where that was coming from. And as
I thought about that, I listened to the dulcet silence
and realized that the cricket has spared his own life
because I don't care Jim any anymore. And you know,
people say they can't understand us, they don't speak our language.
I think he felt the rage that was coming from
the cauldron of our undercarriage. We meant to do him harm.
Fucking crick Ey, get out of here.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, Kat will do the walking tour. I guess Nate's
sheets are now beginning to move on their own, and
Luke attempts to chat with Joy, who ignores him and yeah.
Speaker 1: God knows what microbes are just swimming around on his sheets.
All right.
Speaker 2: Then the guests arrive at that fucking picnic with all
those small chairs, but Joy had prepared I'm thinking of like.
Speaker 1: A contagion kind of event where there are researchers in
the Amazon who have found this very specific parasite that
the only two locations of this terasite are in the
Amazon basin and on Nate's bed. Now we've got a
lot of tagging to do to figure out what happened.
But yeah, Luke's got some some sinister stuff boiling in
his testicles. Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Well we're on the at that picnic and
those small chairs are problematic. Yeah yeah, you know, this
is not seven star service. Now what a seven in
front of that number of service.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you're.
Speaker 2: Gonna meet that seven, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but Sandy thinks that seven star service. To Sandy,
the pinnacle of service is Medieval Times. Evidently, if there's
some kind of pageantry, low rent pageantry with a dinner,
that's seven stars. But we'll get there.
Speaker 2: Well, I took Elliott to Medieval Times last New Year's
Eve Yard, New Year's whatever, and she walked into that
place as a six year old, and she said, this
place is fancy. Really yeah, she loved it.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm so oh god, I'm excited to take loose
Oh you wait, you just wait.
Speaker 2: All right, So we're at that picnic with the small chairs,
and it's a disaster but thank god Joy, Joy, of
all people, she made two chocolate desserts and put them
in a wooden box with the guests name written on
that box with a shoppie.
Speaker 1: So everything's okay. Well, you're underplaying the feed a little bit.
It was some kind of unleavened cracker on top with
their names written in perhaps some kind of charcoal, some
edible charcoal that she made. It was really inventive, and
I have to give Joy credit. You know, a lot
of people when under duress, there's a collapse that happens.
There's a static kind of dealing with the situation. Joy
just fucking goes straight to work and goes, fuck you,
you're a douchebag. I'm gonna focus on my work. Money
has never betrayed me. Fuck yeah, way to go, Sasha Fiers.
I love Joy.
Speaker 2: She does not get pulled into this death trap with
this guy.
Speaker 1: I too.
Speaker 2: I actually, you know, I've talked about this quite a bit.
Like the arc of people on reality TV, we've had enough,
Like they've fulfilled their arc. There's nothing left for them
to give. I think we've seen what Luke has to give.
He's a fucking square box, like he's he's nothing like
if he gets fired, I'll be happy. I'm sorry to
say that, but like, get some new blooded here. Yeah, yeah,
Joy needs a challenge.
Speaker 1: We're told that they're gonna be taking a walking tour
of Dubrevnick for a Game of Thrones, and it's gonna
be host to buy cats, so she'll be saying, you know,
this is where the Red Viper got his h eyes
exploded out of his head, and this is where Cercy
and Jamie just held each other as the roof caved
in on them. Fucking kidding me, You're fucking kidding me.
And I hope that fat Wad does not change the
end of those books, because that ending makes a lot
of sense. It's just we need a lot more.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he never wrote those books, huh.
Speaker 1: Now, I think the Dance with Dragons came out in
twenty eleven. This is not the show for that. I
could talk about it all day. We're getting ready for
Are you watching a House Dragon? Yeah? It's fantastic again?
Speaker 2: Yet you like it now?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I mean it's I don't know why they rolled
into King's Landing without anyone. I know they were trying
to expedite it, but like, why did you Why did
you go in with just YouTube like that could have
been really bad? Okay. So we are getting ready for
the beach picnic. We did know we did it. We
did it.
Speaker 2: Did the tour?
Speaker 1: Yes, and we do the atonement scene where shame, where shame.
Luke has to shame a gripe or grapple with the
decision that he's made. Hey, Luke, not that big of
a deal. Okay, High Sparrow is not coming after you.
You just bang. Jen just did c rat ship. Okay.
So Joy and Ashia chat about Luke and I love
I love Joy and I love Asha. In this moment,
Asha is looking at Joy and I think that she's
genuinely in love with her. She's like this, this person
is not falling for this ship. She's focusing on her work.
We work well together, like thank fucking God for Asia.
Luke gets back, uh and Jen says, hey, big sexy,
go ahead and play that music.
Speaker 2: Now hold on.
Speaker 1: Then she asks the guys if they get into a
dragon costume and says, I wish I had a Dominatrix
costume myself and points at Luke Calen, play that sound
effect again.
Speaker 2: Now I want to We're gonna have both sides here. Yeah,
you're making her out to be a psycho. Wish she is,
but you're saying this ship all right. When you have
sex with someone, there is a connection here. There is
a little thing called intimacy, unless you're a porn star
that does.
Speaker 1: I want you to listen to him and say this
because we've known him for a very very long time,
So I want to listen to you. I want you
and me to both listen very carefully to the words
that this person who we know is about to say.
Speaker 2: Okay, or a porn star involved in gang bang.
Speaker 1: Porn doesn't always have to be gang bang porn.
Speaker 2: But that's where you really disconnect from intimacy. Yes's connected
with intimacy. Yes, And she's saying, we just had sex.
What the fuck is going on? Why are you being
a cold dick right now? And I don't think she's
a psycho, Well, I think she's a psycho. Go ahead,
hit it. But what I'm saying is not for this
right now. It's for being enthralled with this guy and
wanting him so much and saying and doing that whole
speech at the.
Speaker 1: Comment question, saying the guests went to bed just recently.
Is that Is that a little concerning to you?
Speaker 2: She wanted to talk to him. You never did something
crazy where you wanted to talk to someone that you
were into, so you stayed up late or went to
their apartment, or found yourself in a place where they
would be.
Speaker 1: I was I was never this. I was never this
aggress I never aggressively pursued anything the way that Jen
pursued Luke. Okay, there's a there's an era flipancy that
comes with the way that Jen was pursuing Luke that
does not coincide with the which I agree with you,
the level of respect that this kind of entanglement is
owed from both parties. There's this schism there. If you
catch my drift.
Speaker 2: He won me over, Go ahead, hit it.
Speaker 1: The guests just went to bed. My god, all right,
holy fuck my butthole. This table looks amazing. That's an asia,
and the sheets have now gone two days with com
Let's get to a feast for crows. First up, rose,
chicken and lobster, and that is all we get to
see from dinner, the poor man's surf and turf with
someone this talented, What are we doing? We've taken Ben's
lobster spring rolls and we've spun them around in a
three six. He chopped camera with nitrous oxide beneath the table.
But with this Demi god in the kitchen, we can't
see what she's cooking. What the fuck is that.
Speaker 2: They were starting to get good with as far as production,
with like labeling the dishes, and yeah, yep, I feel.
Speaker 1: Like it's only with like bad chefs or something. Anyways,
that's not true. Luke attempts to talk to.
Speaker 2: Joy and does dishes.
Speaker 1: He goes, hey, do you have a second to talk
and she goes, no, no, fuck you, fuck you. This
is Joy is like a walking halftime show, Like I'm
our halftime speech. I'm on my feet for joy.
Speaker 2: Um.
Speaker 1: He starts to do their dishes or do dishes with her,
and Jen notices that he is up forty five minutes
past his This whole fucking charade you were pulling this
entire episode actually makes me pretty angry. Okay me. Yeah,
she's watching out of the corner of her eye and
knows that he's up forty five minutes past his shift.
Speaker 3: This is a little bit.
Speaker 2: Track. You have sex with a girl and then some
guy that wanted her. When you all work together, you
see her spend time with him.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't be about it, You would not be happy about it.
Speaker 2: Put yourself in her shoes. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 1: All Right, I'm in them, get me out, Okay. It's
just there's a pattern of behavior, and I don't mean
to go so hard on Jen. I think Jen's really
fun and I'm happy that she's on the show. She's
really entertaining, and I like her as a cast member
and a he rat. But there's the immediate paranoia with
Kaylee calling her a fucking bitch. Then there's this stuff
with Luke. There's just a little bit of Kaylen. Can
you go ahead and hit that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I totally so, you know, I totally get it.
Speaker 1: All right, she was off to a.
Speaker 2: Bad start, but there's a lot of season in front
of us.
Speaker 1: And then okay, so we'll get back to this, But
first a show. Joe stabs Cooper, who is dressed as
a great white a deflated great White shark slash dragon. Okay,
he jumps off the boat and Sandy says, this is
seven star service. Now, five stars would be a laughable
thing to say, but Sandy's actually breaking the rating system
to categorize this as something that is it's an ambrosia
kind of thing. We're in the heavens. This level of service,
I would give the dinner seven pots. Okay. So Jen
confesses that she's a little insecure and wonders why she's
not getting more out of their relationship.
Speaker 2: Okay, was that a direct work relationship? Yes, okay, that's
a little you know.
Speaker 1: Thank you. We're wrapping up. People have to be exhausted.
Speaker 2: I'm exhausted.
Speaker 1: So Jen decides that she's going to stay up past
her shift. She just two can play at that game.
And she has a conversation with Luke. Now we've mentioned
that there's a swim fan moment here where she says
that the guests have gone to bed, even though I
don't think they had, but maybe we're wrong. And Luke
tells Jen that there is no left triangle, and she says,
that is exactly what I wanted to hear. Now, what
Luke meant is that there's nothing between us. And it's
so interesting that we here have a carbon copy of
a fatherless fuck boy having a cowardly conversation with a
woman who they have treated poorly unable, very very able
to have sex with them, very able to come in
and on them and their bosses sheets, and then very
unable to have a clear concise conversation about boundaries. We'll see,
you know, we would play that song. You know, it's
like it's it's the exact same kind of conversation that
jaw Bone had with Ellie. What's his name, jaw Bone
Joe Joel had with Ellie. Is this conversation that he's
having with Jen Yeah, so fun episode, long episode. We'll
probably we might have to cut stuff. I'm not sure. Well,
we'll talk about it all right. Get in the comments,
let us know what you thought about the episode. Joins
the Patreon on conversation another podcast network for more comment
like subscribe, you love you very much. I'm Dylan saying
goodbye pat and say goodbye.
Speaker 4: D instinct expects
Speaker 2: The distance