Speaker 1: Hello and welcome. Thank you for having me. Appreciate you
Speaker 1: taking the time of coming out on private talk. I
Speaker 1: have seen you a lot around me.
Speaker 2: Just signed at AVN next to each other at jorn
Speaker 2: and booth, so I had to get to know you
Speaker 2: a little bit more personally, put a private conversation between
Speaker 2: me and you to get to know you a little
Speaker 2: bit better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm excited. So tell me about AVIN. How is
Speaker 1: AVN for you? Avian was crazy?
Speaker 2: Is that your first AVIN? Because it was my second one? Okay, Yeah, so.
Speaker 3: I ended up signing for eight hours a day between
Speaker 3: three different boots.
Speaker 1: Crazy. That was a stake. That's a lot of all
Speaker 1: That's a lot. That was an a stake. I'm sure
Speaker 1: your fans loved it though.
Speaker 3: Yes, you know, in terms of the convention, it was
Speaker 3: like people were coming up to me, They're like you,
Speaker 3: We're everywhere, like, oh yeah, I was just their different outfit,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 2: So why did you choose this year to maybe do
Speaker 2: three different companies where you just torn to like to
Speaker 2: see which one did you have like beaveritisms between different booths?
Speaker 2: Like tell us more about how you decided to work
Speaker 2: eight hours a day.
Speaker 3: At av So Jewles is my guy, so he always
Speaker 3: gets priority.
Speaker 1: But Jules was uh.
Speaker 2: Really pushing it on giving me my schedule, and so
Speaker 2: I just I didn't really know.
Speaker 3: And then plug Talk asked me if I wanted to
Speaker 3: sign porn Hub asked, and you.
Speaker 1: Know, everyone get a little bit of sprinkle.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So I was like, you know what, I
Speaker 2: think you can push yourself try this, you know you
Speaker 2: guya always try it once, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: maybe next year.
Speaker 1: Or maybe not see or maybe one ooth in the hours.
Speaker 2: But I think it's always a fun time to kind
Speaker 2: of get to interact in different booths sometimes because each
Speaker 2: company is a different vibe and the fans also get
Speaker 2: a little bit more of you in a different aspect,
Speaker 2: right right, So I think that that's really interesting to
Speaker 2: see the dynamic of how that plays out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So tell us what you've been up to this year.
Speaker 2: It has been that long into the year, But are
Speaker 2: you have any new projects coming out?
Speaker 1: So I've just been going okay ever since.
Speaker 2: Describe what going me going In January, starting at the
Speaker 2: beginning of the year, I was in Australia, flew back
Speaker 2: to La landed at Lax, went straight to set for
Speaker 2: Adult time.
Speaker 3: So that was like a twelve hour set. Okay, that
Speaker 3: was kind of my first work day of the years.
Speaker 1: It seems to be like a part of like a habit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you constantly were Do you ever get any breaks?
Speaker 2: I am admittedly pretty bad about giving myself breaks.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to I'm working on it.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's always you're aware. Yeah, okay, so you flew in,
Speaker 2: you did a twelve hour shoot. Is there You're doing
Speaker 2: all these shoots in your work, you know, every day,
Speaker 2: which is you know or what it seems like? Yeah,
Speaker 2: and he was just good to get your content out
Speaker 2: there and be a part of that. But is there
Speaker 2: anything that's special that you haven't done yet that you're
Speaker 2: kind of working on or bakery empty this year? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm just looking to expand kind of the stuff that
Speaker 2: I've on. I have my first like feature film coming
Speaker 2: up exciting next month, so I'm.
Speaker 1: Very excited about that for a digital playground. Awesome.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how was that different from your normal kind of
Speaker 2: scenes how I was doing features?
Speaker 1: Did you like it?
Speaker 2: I mean, I haven't done it yet, so so this
Speaker 2: is coming up like next week?
Speaker 1: Oh awesome, But yeah, I scripted kind of.
Speaker 2: I do I kind of do do you ever want
Speaker 2: to be, you know, an actress before you got into
Speaker 2: the ador or any.
Speaker 3: Really I've done like little short film type things for
Speaker 3: like friends and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: But I guess like in middle school, I was in drama,
Speaker 2: So I don't know.
Speaker 1: I like the obscurity and like just the.
Speaker 3: Absurdity of it all, you know, of like we're pooring performers,
Speaker 3: but we're like having to learn lines and like really
Speaker 3: act and stuff. So you know, I'm excited for the experience.
Speaker 3: That's great. I can't wait to I can't wait to
Speaker 3: watch it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, is there any you know, people that you haven't
Speaker 2: worked with yet that are kind of on your hit list?
Speaker 1: This is twenty twenty four.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I am apparently the only person in the
Speaker 3: world that has not worked with Johnny Simms.
Speaker 2: Okay, so we've had co Yeah, we've had in a
Speaker 2: very long time.
Speaker 1: But he definitely is a good performer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we've exchanged dms and somehow it always just gets lost. Okay,
Speaker 3: So Johnny hit me up.
Speaker 1: Johnny yesterday twenty four. I'm sure he will not applige. Yeah,
Speaker 1: who else.
Speaker 2: Danny Dee I would love to work with Scott Nails
Speaker 2: I've ever worked with. For some reason, I would love
Speaker 2: to work with him, just like random people were my
Speaker 2: boyfriend at one point. Oh she not literal boyfriend, but
Speaker 2: when you're up set and you see the same person on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like we go together now.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I mean I will say I have worked
Speaker 1: with the.
Speaker 2: Majority of the people that I've wanted to work with.
Speaker 2: But you know, we're always looking for a new dick.
Speaker 2: New dick is always great. Yeah. So let's go back
Speaker 2: a little bit before you got into the industry. How
Speaker 2: describe the like how you like your first like sexual
Speaker 2: experiences kind of happened to kind of make you into
Speaker 2: this you know woman that you already so, you know,
Speaker 2: strong and kind of just owning your sexuality.
Speaker 1: How did you get to this point where.
Speaker 2: You are today as far as like the interlaping of
Speaker 2: your sexuality. Okay, I've always like a promiscuous girl growing up.
Speaker 2: Were you very like adventurous? Were you like trying to
Speaker 2: see like if you could make yourself Like what are
Speaker 2: those like steps of like when you're like, oh wait,
Speaker 2: I need to go into like an adult world where like, right,
Speaker 2: I need to see other people like me too, so
Speaker 2: we cannot go together.
Speaker 3: So I guess this sounds really weird, but I was
Speaker 3: like a really horny kid. Okay, So I started masturbating
Speaker 3: when I was like literally four years old, like to.
Speaker 2: The point where it was like a thing that my
Speaker 2: parents would you remember getting like in trouble.
Speaker 1: We're like, oh yeah, I would get in trouble all.
Speaker 3: The time because I would have this one blanket that
Speaker 3: was just like humped okay you know, and like you know,
Speaker 3: you know, and then like it was like a thing
Speaker 3: within my family because it wasn't like a sexualized thing.
Speaker 1: It was just like kind of like a dog humping
Speaker 1: like okay, stop, you know. So that was always a thing.
Speaker 1: And then I don't know, I was always kind.
Speaker 3: Of boy crazy, even as like a little girl. Like
Speaker 3: anytime there's like an older man, boy.
Speaker 1: So you were always attracted see like older. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So then I would, you know, think I'm doing something
Speaker 2: I'm probably not because I'm a child, right, But that.
Speaker 1: Was always a thing.
Speaker 3: And I was a really cute kid too, so like
Speaker 3: I saw the way that men would react to me,
Speaker 3: you know, even if it was like oh my.
Speaker 1: Mom's friend's husband or something. It was always like Oh,
Speaker 1: you're so cute, you know all this shit.
Speaker 3: And so when I got into grade school, like I
Speaker 3: lost my virginity really young. I lost it at twelve,
Speaker 3: which I think is a little bit younger than most people.
Speaker 3: And once that happened, was just kind of like, oh,
Speaker 3: we're doing this now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 2: Now, you know, walk us through that where it's like,
Speaker 2: obviously you're at a young age. At that point, you
Speaker 2: don't really know a lot of anything life and the
Speaker 2: yes or no or anything like that was after that
Speaker 2: point when it like kind of opened those doors. Is
Speaker 2: that kind of like were you wanting more because you
Speaker 2: liked it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Wanting more because you were like was it was this
Speaker 2: person with you or was it just something that you
Speaker 2: were just and you were kind of like the instigator.
Speaker 2: It definitely was me. So like when I lost my virginity,
Speaker 2: that was a surprise. Okay, So we had been dry
Speaker 2: humping for god knows how long.
Speaker 1: You know, it's just the kid classic.
Speaker 3: It was dry humping and one day, like you know,
Speaker 3: we're dry humping and I feel pain and I look
Speaker 3: down and I was like, oh, there's like a dick
Speaker 3: inside of me.
Speaker 1: And I was just like I didn't even talk about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because like to me, in my mind, I was like, well,
Speaker 2: this is obviously the next iteration, right, you're like dry humping,
Speaker 2: You're right in of like what you're Yeah, And once
Speaker 2: that was kind of broken, I was like, oh, like
Speaker 2: I'm like a woman, you know, because I had gotten
Speaker 2: my period super young.
Speaker 1: Tell you do you think that you at that time?
Speaker 2: I even remember like feeling that you were an adult,
Speaker 2: like it words like it as switching changing of like
Speaker 2: maybe you kind of thought leaned into that sexuality because
Speaker 2: of that experience. Yeah, definitely. So did you continue having
Speaker 2: sex or did you stop for a while?
Speaker 1: Continue? Okay?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then it wasn't just like that guy, right,
Speaker 2: because now I'm like, oh, now this is the thing
Speaker 2: I do. And it was weird because I was always
Speaker 2: dating guys that were a little bit older than me.
Speaker 2: You know, Like I dated a guy when I was
Speaker 2: thirteen and he was eighteen.
Speaker 1: I was so do your pario, no idiot, And at
Speaker 1: the time didn't know this.
Speaker 2: You were just off being a cute little girl and
Speaker 2: be okay, go to my friend's house and to go like, well,
Speaker 2: I wasn't really allowed out, so I.
Speaker 3: Would sneak guys in or sneak out of my house.
Speaker 3: So my parents had no idea.
Speaker 1: This was happening in ano their room.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, yeah, and.
Speaker 1: Yeah I was always dating guys that were older.
Speaker 3: But it was weird because it felt like I had
Speaker 3: more sexual experience, yeah or something, you know, Like I
Speaker 3: remember I would date guys that were maybe three four
Speaker 3: years older, and it was like I was giving them
Speaker 3: their first blow job.
Speaker 2: So were you like kind of giving them lessons, like
Speaker 2: in a sense of like leading the way, like being
Speaker 2: like let's.
Speaker 1: Do this or you know what I mean. They were like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because like when I was a kid, all I
Speaker 2: wanted to do was be an adult. Okay, that's like
Speaker 2: I wanted to have a job and like pay bills.
Speaker 2: That's like a release, laughing joke. Can I go back
Speaker 2: to a kid? Any response ability?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: And so I kind of just really fell into it
Speaker 3: as like oh, I'm a woman, like this is what
Speaker 3: you do, And like I liked impressing the older guys
Speaker 3: that would be with with like oh I'm instigating, Oh
Speaker 3: I know what I'm doing, And a lot of times
Speaker 3: sometimes I didn't really know what I was doing, but
Speaker 3: I was just you acted like it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you make it exactly, yeah, exactly. The confidence
Speaker 1: is everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so that escalated. So where do we go
Speaker 2: from there? You know, you start dabbling and things like
Speaker 2: this really young, you know, and so you were doing
Speaker 2: things that you probably shouldn't at those things right right,
Speaker 2: we should you.
Speaker 1: Know, be a little bit big. But that's not how
Speaker 1: everybody's story is.
Speaker 2: Which, so where do we go at that point is
Speaker 2: did you searches stripping? Did you like walk away from everything?
Speaker 2: Did you continue? Like how did you get to adult?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: So I moved to New York when I was seventeen
Speaker 3: and I went to college in New York. And first
Speaker 3: year I was surrounded by people that were like really
Speaker 3: rich and I was not used to that at all,
Speaker 3: and it was like a really weird like power dynamic
Speaker 3: almost where you're like, oh, I don't have shit, but
Speaker 3: I'm around people that are like general rationally wealthy, you know.
Speaker 3: And I had something happen in school where I was like,
Speaker 3: this is not the school for me. This is too good, Yeah,
Speaker 3: this is too expensive. I'm going to try to figure
Speaker 3: things out.
Speaker 2: So I left school for a year and in that
Speaker 2: year I had to make ends meet with no college
Speaker 2: degree in New York City and I like started working
Speaker 2: at a barbershop and whatever. But someone had suggested.
Speaker 1: Like what about like maybe getting like a sugar daddy
Speaker 1: or something. And this is twenty ten, this is the
Speaker 1: year before I'm like, website.
Speaker 3: Well, this is actually the year that sinking arrangements actually started.
Speaker 1: Okay, so it was like brand new. I'm a little
Speaker 1: do I know. I'm like, oh yeah, so it was
Speaker 1: brand new.
Speaker 3: And I was like, you know what, let me get
Speaker 3: on the site, let me see what I can do.
Speaker 3: And I'm gonna be honest. Those that first year, I
Speaker 3: was just getting assaulted left and right, you know, because
Speaker 3: I'm eighteen years old. I don't know how to have
Speaker 3: these conversations. I don't know how to set boundaries and say, hey,
Speaker 3: I don't like this or I'm not comfortable with this.
Speaker 3: How much money am I getting?
Speaker 1: Can I get it now? Dad? I just didn't really
Speaker 1: didn't know. You didn't know. I didn't know how to
Speaker 1: assert myself true for sure. And I think that's a
Speaker 1: thing with women in general, right.
Speaker 2: It takes time to build up the confidence to be
Speaker 2: to stand up for yourself. I think it comes I
Speaker 2: think it's you know, individual, I think, and I appreciate
Speaker 2: you sharing your story it would be and I.
Speaker 1: Think it's like I think that we don't.
Speaker 2: It comes a lot from not knowing your work because
Speaker 2: no one ever taught us that and what they're supposed
Speaker 2: to well not know them in every situation, but some
Speaker 2: most girls don't have that, you know, situation or person
Speaker 2: to look up to or tell you what to do
Speaker 2: and or how what that looks like. And you know,
Speaker 2: sometimes you do have that and you still want to
Speaker 2: figure it out yourself. So there's all different angles of
Speaker 2: those things. So I definitely as myself of being a
Speaker 2: younger and I've gotten poor when I was twenty one,
Speaker 2: there's certain things that I don't regret doing, but I
Speaker 2: also knew that I didn't want to do them.
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to where my voice was.
Speaker 2: Ye and it is takes time to like and it sucks,
Speaker 2: and it's sad that you know, you just being a
Speaker 2: confident sexual woman who wanted to do what she wanted
Speaker 2: to do for yourself, had to go through the like
Speaker 2: bad parts of it if someone assaulting you and crossing
Speaker 2: your boundaries.
Speaker 1: But it's also like we didn't know what our boundaries.
Speaker 2: Were ex so it's like a great area of things
Speaker 2: which doesn't mean like any make.
Speaker 1: It right or wrong, right, right, right or wrong or right,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: But it's like where you are now, it's like taking
Speaker 2: that kind of back and having your voice now as
Speaker 2: the sex worker that you are. And you know it's
Speaker 2: not of all of who you are, it's you know,
Speaker 2: a part of who you are. But it's like where
Speaker 2: those roots lie from where it's like you are worthy
Speaker 2: of somebody to respect you doing this seeking arrangements because
Speaker 2: that's there for you, right right, and he wanted to
Speaker 2: go there and do your thing at eighteen you're young,
Speaker 2: dema full of them well like y right. You know.
Speaker 2: It's in those things where it's it sucks that that's
Speaker 2: unfortunate times happens to younger girls when you're trying to
Speaker 2: navigate your way right where it's like you know, and
Speaker 2: that's why I also for why I love the adult
Speaker 2: industry is like it's a safe space where you know,
Speaker 2: we're tested.
Speaker 1: There's you know, you.
Speaker 2: Have no lists, you have you know, your very verbal
Speaker 2: agreement before you conent creators of what don't you like
Speaker 2: what you know what I mean? And so It's not
Speaker 2: like that in other places where I feel like the
Speaker 2: industry gets such a bad name sometimes, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I think it is the best place for people, you.
Speaker 1: Know, like us to want to explore the right right
Speaker 1: safe environment, right yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean so that first year, like I made money.
Speaker 2: I made money I had never seen before, you know.
Speaker 3: But then I met a man outside of this, like
Speaker 3: this is the longest he was going to take.
Speaker 1: No, he had no idea I was doing this. He
Speaker 1: sat me on Tumblr, okay, like and he was twelve.
Speaker 3: Years older than me, and we just hit it off
Speaker 3: and we ended up in a relationship for seven years.
Speaker 1: To stop doing yeah. Yeah, and he.
Speaker 3: Is the longest relationship I've ever had, you know. And
Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, like I'm gonna go
Speaker 3: straight and narrow. I went back to call Enghige all
Speaker 3: this stuff and started working marketing at a multi billion
Speaker 3: dollar company. Like you know, I had a very normal
Speaker 3: life and a trajectory that was so clear.
Speaker 1: Right, and then I lost my job.
Speaker 2: Like there was two really big uh.
Speaker 3: Relorncs in the company. So I made passed the first one.
Speaker 3: The second one I didn't pass, and they fired like four.
Speaker 1: Hundred people and I'm like, fuck, now what do I do? Right?
Speaker 3: I had this big important job and it was like
Speaker 3: it's such a big resume thing.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, okay, you know, I'm gonna find something better.
Speaker 3: And then I got back into the field and I'm like, wait,
Speaker 3: I'm getting things that are like way more work for
Speaker 3: less pay or just like shitty job titles like what
Speaker 3: is going on? And I kind of like sell into
Speaker 3: the most depressed I've ever felt, you.
Speaker 1: Know, like I thought my life was over. I was like,
Speaker 1: where do I go from here?
Speaker 2: And one friend was like, here's some sugar, right, you
Speaker 2: should do that again, like you are pretty good at that.
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, now I'm in my mid
Speaker 2: twenties and enough time has passed where I have, you know,
Speaker 2: developed more of a sense of self personality.
Speaker 1: I can like start myself a little better. I'm like,
Speaker 1: let me try again. So I was working some bullshit jobs.
Speaker 1: I worked at a boyfriend's still in the picture. This
Speaker 1: is near the end. Okay.
Speaker 3: So I was working on a spins cycle.
Speaker 1: Studio and then pestler and a barbershop at.
Speaker 3: The same time, and then I was also sugaring when
Speaker 3: I was not doing those jobs.
Speaker 1: And very quickly I was like, wait, I'm good at this.
Speaker 1: I'm really good at this.
Speaker 2: And so I just did it for a few more
Speaker 2: months and I was like, Okay, now I feel comfortable with, like,
Speaker 2: you know, meeting men, all this asserting myself. And I
Speaker 2: was like, let me step it up a not lunch.
Speaker 2: I'm already become an escort.
Speaker 1: And I had.
Speaker 3: Already been so connected with people in sex work, and
Speaker 3: I just started watching what everyone's doing, and I was like,
Speaker 3: everybody has a proton mail and I was like, I
Speaker 3: think that's like a if you know, you know.
Speaker 1: Sort of thing.
Speaker 2: So I was like, just get a proton mail email,
Speaker 2: get a proton mail email, and just put it in
Speaker 2: your Twitter bio and see what happens.
Speaker 1: So that's all I did. Then I started getting emails
Speaker 1: asking about bookings and all this stuff, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh sure.
Speaker 2: I never nervous or like afraid at that time, Like
Speaker 2: I mean, yes, but at the same time, I you
Speaker 2: were just like fuck it. I had like nothing to
Speaker 2: lose at this point, you know, and I was like,
Speaker 2: let's try it. I did it like over ten years
Speaker 2: prior when it was super super dangerous, so I'm like
Speaker 2: I'm older.
Speaker 1: Now I got this, and so I started getting emails
Speaker 1: in and then I started just learning.
Speaker 2: As I was going, emails are coming in, I don't
Speaker 2: know what the fuck I'm doing.
Speaker 1: So on the other end, I'm googling like how do
Speaker 1: I do this? How do I do that?
Speaker 2: And I'm like okay, And then I'm asking other escorts
Speaker 2: like hey, like what.
Speaker 1: Hotels do you use? How do you do this?
Speaker 3: And I'm just gathering all this information and very very
Speaker 3: quickly kind of rose in the ranks of like being
Speaker 3: a top escort in New York, even with all the tattoos.
Speaker 1: And when I started, I had like neon pink hair, which.
Speaker 3: Is crazy, very not discreet, and so as I started to,
Speaker 3: you know, build a name for myself, I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: like I'm comfortable doing this. Now this is now like
Speaker 3: I love it, right, It's super empowering. I always say
Speaker 3: there's nothing hotter than walking out of like a hotel
Speaker 3: or something with like a stack of cash and like
Speaker 3: you're like, I fucking did that.
Speaker 2: And let me make sure pussy what oh one hundred percent?
Speaker 1: Like then people always ask me, They're like, oh, aren't
Speaker 1: don't aren't you like ashamed?
Speaker 2: I was like, I would enjoy if every man that
Speaker 2: I had sex with gave me money after, Like if
Speaker 2: if I was dating a guy and he like threw
Speaker 2: a stack of cash at me after, I'd be like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm such a slut.
Speaker 1: That's so hot, you know. But yeah, So I was just.
Speaker 3: Doing escorting and then one day Joels Jordan slid into
Speaker 3: my DMS and asked me if I wanted to do.
Speaker 1: A porn nice and with him.
Speaker 2: I'm a sinning yes, And originally I kind of wanted
Speaker 2: to say no.
Speaker 1: I was so used to being in person. I know
Speaker 1: I'm good anymore.
Speaker 2: Were you a porn watcher at that time? Like obviously,
Speaker 2: like Gilgard has a big name. Yeah, I think for
Speaker 2: extra companies, so you know that. But like were you
Speaker 2: watching Jewels? Were you a fan? Were you like yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean I knew because that's enticing too, where like, oh,
Speaker 2: if it's somebody that you're fantasizing.
Speaker 1: Where you like sex work and it's your own merits,
Speaker 1: why not, right?
Speaker 2: I mean I didn't. I wasn't like a fan of
Speaker 2: him as a performer.
Speaker 1: I feel like the male performers that I was into
Speaker 1: usually had tattooed Peo.
Speaker 2: Okay, like I was, I was in love with small hands,
Speaker 2: but uh, I knew who he was, and I knew
Speaker 2: that it was a big deal that he's asking me directly,
Speaker 2: and so I was like, you know what, this will
Speaker 2: make for a good story one day, you don't have
Speaker 2: you don't have to do more than one. You know,
Speaker 2: you can just do the one and have it be
Speaker 2: that and get to say you did it and had
Speaker 2: this experience. So I was like, why not, And he's like,
Speaker 2: let me know the next time you're in LA And
Speaker 2: this was April.
Speaker 1: Of twenty twenty two and.
Speaker 3: We shot and I have quite literally never felt less
Speaker 3: sexy in my entire life.
Speaker 1: Less sexy, yes, explain, I thought.
Speaker 2: So the thing is is when you when you professionally
Speaker 2: have sex, right, you know, with empirical evidence that you're
Speaker 2: good at having sex because you're getting paid to do it.
Speaker 1: You've made your whole living off this.
Speaker 3: Right, all of a sudden, there's like one extra person
Speaker 3: in the room and you're like, okay, it's not about
Speaker 3: the connection we're having.
Speaker 1: It's not about like catering on.
Speaker 2: This one on one experience, like the third person which
Speaker 2: is the camera.
Speaker 1: And now like now the I'm thinking your camera shy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's all I'm thinking about now, Like I'm not
Speaker 3: thinking about how do I make you feel there? I'm
Speaker 3: thinking about does my face look okay?
Speaker 2: You know? And like you know, I'm being angled in
Speaker 2: ways that I had never been in my life. That
Speaker 2: first one, I was like, I was like mute. Basically
Speaker 2: I just kept giggling. I couldn't get words out. I
Speaker 2: was just giggling.
Speaker 3: And like I honestly when I when people ask me,
Speaker 3: I'm like I kind of blacked out, Like I was
Speaker 3: so nervous, HOSSI.
Speaker 1: And when it came out, I was mortified, you.
Speaker 2: Know, like mortified because of how you felt that day
Speaker 2: and you thought people were gonna think, like whatever, morfying And.
Speaker 1: This angle okay, what is this? Okay, this porn angle?
Speaker 1: Not for me? I'm dead. That's hilarious. Like most people
Speaker 1: are not seeing themselves in this angle. And all I'm
Speaker 1: looking at is my chin? You think that guys really
Speaker 1: were masspaings? You really thinking that? No, So that's the
Speaker 1: thing I learned.
Speaker 2: They don't care, they don't give a shit, right, But
Speaker 2: like I had never seen myself like that, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh no, this is on the internet, like in big
Speaker 2: time on the internet forever, you know, And so I
Speaker 2: was scared that I was going to go through some
Speaker 2: sort of like body dysmorphic spiral.
Speaker 1: But then it like kind of like got pretty viral
Speaker 1: like instantly.
Speaker 2: It was uh like front page on all like all
Speaker 2: the tube sites, and it.
Speaker 1: Was on like one site and within the first two
Speaker 1: days had like two three million bags.
Speaker 2: Feel I was, I feel good about it, you know,
Speaker 2: And I'd read the comments, which I don't really do
Speaker 2: anymore because I'm smarter than that. But I read the
Speaker 2: comments and there weren't that many mean ones. So I
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, yeah, you know, I like people.
Speaker 1: People are liking it. And that's when I realized. I
Speaker 1: was like, wait, I look like.
Speaker 2: A pumpkin, and yet all these comments are just.
Speaker 1: Like this girl's so hot? Where's this girl from? All this?
Speaker 1: Oh they're not looking at your face.
Speaker 2: But it's funny and interesting as someone as beautiful as
Speaker 2: you are sitting here with you know, all these we
Speaker 2: talked about sex and how a promiscuitous and things that
Speaker 2: you were like, if you like, but you're gonna sit
Speaker 2: here and tell you you look like a pumpkin. Whenever
Speaker 2: it's like you're your own worst enemy when it comes
Speaker 2: to me right looking those things, because it's like you're
Speaker 2: beautiful the way you are. It's like you just have
Speaker 2: to feel that way, and not that you don't feel
Speaker 2: that way, but why when you say those things, this
Speaker 2: girl they'll look they'll have sexy or.
Speaker 1: Don't jerk off to you in anyway.
Speaker 2: Whenever it's find a sense of like continuing like the
Speaker 2: power behind you feeling sexy in whatever way you it
Speaker 2: doesn't matter regardless. It's like you know, I mean, like
Speaker 2: owning your sexuality and your feminine racing that and who cares?
Speaker 1: Yeah, let the thing fall off. I'd be the worst.
Speaker 1: I'd be.
Speaker 2: Like for me, it was always like I didn't think
Speaker 2: any even the ow the camera was there, I just
Speaker 2: like to fuck. It was like I don't care what
Speaker 2: I look like because that time too, it wasn't so
Speaker 2: much of the social media world, you know, so, but
Speaker 2: I also.
Speaker 1: Too, am I didn't care. Yeah, so I was like
Speaker 1: I just get in there. I definitely have come all
Speaker 1: over your face. It's messy, right.
Speaker 3: I mean, so I think it's also like coming from
Speaker 3: the background that I come from, right, Like I come
Speaker 3: from a corporate background where everything has to be like
Speaker 3: so dialed in and all of that.
Speaker 2: But that's the personality or your personality that your program
Speaker 2: is to believe that that you need right away, where
Speaker 2: it's like, obviously there's a middle group for everybody craziness
Speaker 2: like my crazy self, But funny, what makes perfect for you?
Speaker 2: Because you are perfect in a lot of way, you know,
Speaker 2: in your own way, right It's like you, It's like,
Speaker 2: I think it's just interesting how a lot of sex
Speaker 2: workers on any of yourself, but even just not even
Speaker 2: sex workers, but this beautiful women is like me thinks
Speaker 2: so bad about ourselves right times, like not even like
Speaker 2: all the time.
Speaker 1: But it's like the angle. I was like, curl that
Speaker 1: angle is fine right down there.
Speaker 3: That's the crazy thing is I thought I this was
Speaker 3: gonna like completely destroy my self esteem, and if anything,
Speaker 3: it did the opposite, where I was like, wait, the
Speaker 3: worst way that I've ever looked is already on the
Speaker 3: internet and people still like me. Yeah, So like it
Speaker 3: was so pream of a thing where I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: I don't care anymore, you know, because it's like can
Speaker 3: it get worse than that?
Speaker 1: Or like you know, like it and It's also like
Speaker 1: I think, like when people.
Speaker 2: Take photos that have already been posted on somewhere else
Speaker 2: and then they edit that and then repost that, I'm like, curl, Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like that has to be another level of mental illness
Speaker 2: that I have not reached because I'm like, I had
Speaker 2: a certain point.
Speaker 1: You just have to admit, like that's a bad photo.
Speaker 2: Everyone has their own vices, and you know, it's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I just think it's It's interesting how that that is.
Speaker 2: It's most times more than not, is that most women
Speaker 2: would say stuff like that, especially in the art industry
Speaker 2: where you know you'll be you're okay to have sex
Speaker 2: and everyone to watch you get fucked every which way,
Speaker 2: but you're worried about what right. Yeah, but you know
Speaker 2: that first one came out and I was like, there
Speaker 2: are things I don't like about that, So I'm going
Speaker 2: to work on it, and I want to study how
Speaker 2: to get better at it.
Speaker 1: Like what did you do to study to get better?
Speaker 3: I watched so much porn. I was just like gooning
Speaker 3: porn basically.
Speaker 2: To let you know what was your your go to
Speaker 2: porn that you first started with a certain genre and
Speaker 2: certain type of.
Speaker 3: No I was just watching all sorts of stuff because
Speaker 3: I was like, the main thing I wanted to work
Speaker 3: on was talking, okay, because I was like, it looks
Speaker 3: so awkward when you're just so.
Speaker 2: If somebody were to find that notebook, what were some
Speaker 2: of the notes that were in there that you to notes?
Speaker 3: I wrote down lines that I heard that I thought
Speaker 3: were hot, and I was like, you could try to
Speaker 3: repeat those things.
Speaker 1: And just you know, my second and third scenes were
Speaker 1: with Dread and Menuell and.
Speaker 2: You know, the day before and I had studied for
Speaker 2: months and the day before or like that, when I
Speaker 2: was getting ready in the morning before leaving for set,
Speaker 2: I would be watching their porn and just listening to
Speaker 2: how other people are interacting with them and like just
Speaker 2: trying to take notes and trying to remember, like okay,
Speaker 2: stay active, like try to you know, like talking has
Speaker 2: always been the hardest thing for me because.
Speaker 1: When I'm getting sucked, there's no thoughts. I'm like just
Speaker 1: bim bowed out, Like nah, you know exactly, I thought exactly.
Speaker 3: So honestly, just with watching a ton of stuff, taking notes,
Speaker 3: practicing posing, so I would you know, screenshot photos of
Speaker 3: like girls that I thought, okay, that looks really hot,
Speaker 3: and then I would go in the mirror and fix
Speaker 3: myself and try to like remember how.
Speaker 2: A lot of time and work in so like making
Speaker 2: your craft and like, yeah, being the best at what
Speaker 2: you do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think I still try.
Speaker 2: What girls did you kind of look up to that
Speaker 2: maybe you were screenshotting and kind of like we're your inspiration? Yeah,
Speaker 2: So in terms of posing and stuff, Tommy King, Savannah, I.
Speaker 1: Mean I can't. Those two are the main ones that
Speaker 1: jump out.
Speaker 2: How it was that like after taking notes from like
Speaker 2: those sens and seeing these people that you were obviously
Speaker 2: attracted to, or like seeing your funny silence of being similar,
Speaker 2: like how is it so filing?
Speaker 1: And you work with them? Like were you super nervous?
Speaker 1: Were you like I got this? I actually that worked
Speaker 1: with either of them? Really?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know we we know each.
Speaker 1: Other, were acquaintances.
Speaker 3: I've never worked with them, but I feel like every
Speaker 3: time I work with people, I'm.
Speaker 4: Just just like enamored and wowed by their level of professionalism,
Speaker 4: by their level of performance.
Speaker 3: I remember my first few collabs, I was I like
Speaker 3: and I went in saying, hey, I this is like
Speaker 3: kind of new to me. I'm not that good at talking.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to kind of let you guys lead
Speaker 2: and like you guys can like you know, it could
Speaker 2: be any pointers. Like I'm open to listening to it
Speaker 2: all this and like I remember working with val Steel
Speaker 2: and they're so good at talking and just like you know,
Speaker 2: the energy level, and I just remember like while we're shooting,
Speaker 2: I'm like taking notes like okay, wow, okay, you know,
Speaker 2: and so those first few collapse I learned so much
Speaker 2: just watching other people and just making a note of
Speaker 2: like yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that's hot. If I think that's hot, then
Speaker 1: other people will think that's hot.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think that's fascinating that you took the time to
Speaker 2: like really like lean into your craft, because I feel
Speaker 2: like a lot of people don't really do that.
Speaker 1: So I think it's it's an interesting like perspective to