Speaker 1: This is Doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI
Speaker 1: AM six forty the Doctor Wendy wallsh Show on demand
Speaker 1: on the iHeartRadio app. Welcome back to The Doctor Wendy
Speaker 1: Wall Show on KFI AM six forty Live everywhere on
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio App. If you have a relationship question, feel
Speaker 1: free to send me a DM on Instagram at Dr
Speaker 1: Wendy Walsh and I will producer Kayla. We'll go through
Speaker 1: it and she'll decide if it makes sense. Blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: I love this. I love this. So a gentleman writes
Speaker 1: to me and he says, why do girls keep unmatching
Speaker 1: me on dating apps? How do I learn to give
Speaker 1: better conversation? So here's the thing. Remember what dating apps are, right?
Speaker 1: Dating apps are shouldn't be called dating apps. They should
Speaker 1: be called meeting apps. Because what happens is people start
Speaker 1: to suffer from that paradox of choice I've talked about earlier. Right,
Speaker 1: there's just too many people in their message box and
Speaker 1: they shouldn't be dating on the app. In other words,
Speaker 1: having these conversations. It should be just about meeting them
Speaker 1: and getting on the phone fairly quickly. So I, in
Speaker 1: fact always tell women to give up their phone number
Speaker 1: fairly quickly on these apps. Now, how do I learn
Speaker 1: to give better conversation? I'm just going to say this.
Speaker 1: The first few texts should be some kind of comment
Speaker 1: on something you see in their profile where the two
Speaker 1: of you have commonality, right, some kind of oh, I
Speaker 1: see you were at this museum that's one of my
Speaker 1: favorite places, or I recognize whatever, find something. That's what
Speaker 1: you want to do to be to have good conversation
Speaker 1: with anybody, whether you're meeting and flirting in public or
Speaker 1: on dating apps. But do not get into endless chatting
Speaker 1: on the apps. After you've developed rapport with a few
Speaker 1: little texts back and forth, just say, hey, if you'd
Speaker 1: like to get on the phone and have a chat,
Speaker 1: I'm open to it. Here's my number. And then don't
Speaker 1: continue to text and let people unmatch you. You know what,
Speaker 1: every time there's an unmatch, you should do a touchdown
Speaker 1: cheer because that person wasn't your person. It wasn't meant
Speaker 1: to be right. But anyway, just look for commonality. Uh,
Speaker 1: Dear doctor Wendy, I ordered a takeout order on my
Speaker 1: boyfriend's phone from a place I introduced him to a
Speaker 1: few weeks back. Okay, so a few weeks ago she
Speaker 1: took him to this restaurant or introduced him to her takeout,
Speaker 1: and then she used his phone to order. When I
Speaker 1: confirmed my name, they said the name of his ex girlfriend.
Speaker 1: He said they went there once before, but he didn't
Speaker 1: want to tell me because I would get mad. Is
Speaker 1: this a clear sign he's still in contact with her?
Speaker 1: He does deny it. Well, I don't know the answer,
Speaker 1: but I do know this. Do you get mad? Or
Speaker 1: is he just really afraid of women's anger? It could
Speaker 1: be two things, right, Are you somebody who's a hot head,
Speaker 1: because then you know what, they're going to want to
Speaker 1: lie to you more often because they're afraid of your anger.
Speaker 1: Or is he somebody who's just kind of emotionally avoidant
Speaker 1: and kind of afraid of anger in that way? I
Speaker 1: don't know. So it's not a clear sign that he's
Speaker 1: in contact with her. Oh just you know, keep your
Speaker 1: antennas up a little bit cause you never know, right,
Speaker 1: And it could I just don't like when people lie
Speaker 1: even a little bit, though, like him going did he
Speaker 1: go like, oh my god, there's new place. No, I've
Speaker 1: never tried it before and then you find out they did. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it. Just here's the problem. Even when people are
Speaker 1: lying on their dating apps or a little bit about
Speaker 1: their height or their weight or their age or whatever,
Speaker 1: it's hard to build trust. Whenever there's been any little,
Speaker 1: even small, white lie, it's very difficult to build trust
Speaker 1: in a relationship. So I'm gonna say, just keep your
Speaker 1: intennis up. That's all I'm gonna say. But he could
Speaker 1: have done the white light thing and the next and
Speaker 1: what you should say to him is, hey, I can
Speaker 1: tolerate anything except lying. So just from now on, trust
Speaker 1: me with the truth. Okay, Uh, moving on, Dear doctor Wendy.
Speaker 1: I met a guy on hinge and we really connected
Speaker 1: via text, but when we face timed, the vibe was awkward.
Speaker 1: Is this a clear sign we won't work out? Or
Speaker 1: should I still meet him in person? No? You should
Speaker 1: not meet someone in person who you didn't click with.
Speaker 1: It's not like, well, it's going to get better and
Speaker 1: better and better, because that's the whole point of getting
Speaker 1: on the phone or facetiming, so you don't have to
Speaker 1: go on a date. Don't ghost him. Okay, you've now
Speaker 1: seen each other's face. Here's the thing I say about ghosting.
Speaker 1: You guys have to be very careful. You think Los
Speaker 1: Angeles is a giant city until you go somebody, and
Speaker 1: then you walk into some meeting and there he is
Speaker 1: a new employee or a new client at your work,
Speaker 1: and you're like, ah, you feel so awkward, right, So
Speaker 1: all you do is compose a nice little text that
Speaker 1: said it was lovely chatting with you. I kind of
Speaker 1: don't think romances in the cards for us. I'll keep
Speaker 1: you in mind for a friend. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for the introduction. It was lovely to chat. That's it, right,
Speaker 1: But it doesn't get better if you're like, oh no,
Speaker 1: that's awkward. You don't run and meet them in person
Speaker 1: to see if it was. If they suddenly are less awkward,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh, here's a tangled web that someone
Speaker 1: has woven. Dear doctor Wendy. Oh, I have a hard
Speaker 1: time even reading this. Dear doctor Wendy. I got pregnant
Speaker 1: by my roommate. He says he doesn't want a relationship,
Speaker 1: but we're pregnant and we live together. What should I do? Okay,
Speaker 1: first of all, you're in a relationship, you might want
Speaker 1: to let him know that that as soon as he
Speaker 1: put his penis in a vagina, he has a responsibility.
Speaker 1: Now and you're living together and having sex, but considering
Speaker 1: yourself's a roommate, I'm going to say one word, boundaries. Boundaries, boundaries,
Speaker 1: But this is the slippery slope that happens when heterosexual
Speaker 1: men and women live together. Not every time, but you know,
Speaker 1: you could have a weak night, little alcohol, whatever, and
Speaker 1: before you know it, look at this. You got to
Speaker 1: figure out what you need to do for yourself, and
Speaker 1: that means may mean moving, it may mean terminating the pregnancy,
Speaker 1: it may mean having the baby on your own. But
Speaker 1: this guy's telling you very clearly he doesn't want this,
Speaker 1: So don't even hope for anything. I'm sorry to be
Speaker 1: so hard nos on this, but please don't hope. Ugh,
Speaker 1: and especially if you think, well, don't they have the
Speaker 1: baby and he sees how cute the baby, No, they don't.
Speaker 1: Suddenly go now, I'm really into fatherhood. I do want
Speaker 1: to say this. You know, evolutionary psychologists would say that
Speaker 1: human beings have the widest range of paternal investment in
Speaker 1: offspring of any primate out there, which means that at
Speaker 1: one end, of the scale, you've got a dude whose
Speaker 1: only investment in his kid is a teaspoon of sperm.
Speaker 1: And at the other end of the scale, you've got
Speaker 1: literally a baby wearing, carpool driving, softball throwing, doting dad
Speaker 1: and we have everything else in between two. So to
Speaker 1: think he's going to be that when he's telling you
Speaker 1: very clearly he's not that. You and your baby need
Speaker 1: to make your decision together, whatever it's going to be.
Speaker 1: It's not a baby, you're just pregnant. Whatever you and
Speaker 1: your zygot, whatever the cells you got there. You need
Speaker 1: to make a decision for your reproductive health, for your
Speaker 1: mental health, for your life. This is about you now,
Speaker 1: because he's been very very clear with you. All Right,
Speaker 1: when we come back, there's a new dating trend and
Speaker 1: you won't believe what it is. You're listening to the
Speaker 1: Doctor Wendy wall Show on KFI AM six forty. We're
Speaker 1: live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2: You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
Speaker 2: AM six forty.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Doctor Anywell's Show on k I
Speaker 1: AM six forty, Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. All right,
Speaker 1: I promised you a new dating trend. There always seems
Speaker 1: to be one. You're not going to believe this one.
Speaker 1: Sober dating, Yeah, it's a thing. Now. I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about people in sobriety, people who have, you know, an
Speaker 1: alcohol use disorder, who are you know, can can't ever
Speaker 1: drink when they date. I'm talking about people who socially drink,
Speaker 1: who may probably not have a problem with drinking, who've
Speaker 1: decided that when they go on first dates or second
Speaker 1: dates that they're just going to remove alcohol from the
Speaker 1: whole thing and not do it. So let's talk a
Speaker 1: little bit first about why alcohol has such a storied
Speaker 1: place in romantic dating. What alcohol does is it can
Speaker 1: lower anxiety in the short term by the way you're
Speaker 1: using it frequently. It raises anxiety when it wears off,
Speaker 1: that's a whole other thing. But it can reduce inhibitions, right,
Speaker 1: I don't know. If you spend any time in London,
Speaker 1: the English or very lock job, they're very tongue tied
Speaker 1: until you go to one of their pubs and then
Speaker 1: they've got that wonderful lubricant and boy they say a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff. So it can reduce inhibitions. It can
Speaker 1: make you chattier, more engaging. It even can create that
Speaker 1: pleasurable feeling of euphoria. You know, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: I love to pour myself a skinny, spicy margarita, and
Speaker 1: my sweet Julio thinks it's he doesn't drink it all,
Speaker 1: by the way, and not because he's in sourpriety. He
Speaker 1: just doesn't like the taste of it. He's one of
Speaker 1: those so I always have a designated driver. But anyway,
Speaker 1: he loves how like it makes me just like to
Speaker 1: have one drink. More than that, other things can happen.
Speaker 1: So alcohol can be pretty great when you're dealing with
Speaker 1: nerves associated with meeting a new person for the first time,
Speaker 1: and also the worry about checking them out, anticipating could
Speaker 1: you have a happy future together. But here's the big
Speaker 1: downside of alcohol, and this is obviously the big reason
Speaker 1: why people are doing sober dating. As soon as you
Speaker 1: reduce inhibitions, you might make some choices that you regret later,
Speaker 1: and of course that includes the big one, having unprotected
Speaker 1: sex with somebody you cringe at. What's the alcohol effect
Speaker 1: wears off? I know, it's all it's having to all
Speaker 1: of us at one point or another, and we're like,
Speaker 1: why did I do that? I think this trend of
Speaker 1: dating sober is a great idea because it can help
Speaker 1: you make better assessments of romantic compatibility. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: what dating's supposed to be, right, it was designed to
Speaker 1: be like this probation period where partners could determine if
Speaker 1: someone was worth having sex with, or worth introducing them
Speaker 1: to their family, or maybe even worth committing to in marriage.
Speaker 1: So I think it GIFs you're like this clear head
Speaker 1: to be able to make better decisions on date. And
Speaker 1: also if you are that person who has a history
Speaker 1: of making poor choices because of alcohol consumption, then yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, removing alcohol from a date can have a
Speaker 1: very positive effect for you, especially on mental healthy You're
Speaker 1: not crying in your pillow the next day, you're not
Speaker 1: worried about pregnancies or an STI You're waking up with
Speaker 1: a clear head because you might have uttered a very
Speaker 1: platonic good night and thank you lovely time to someone
Speaker 1: you're not interested in and you never have to see
Speaker 1: again and you have no worries. So here's another thing.
Speaker 1: I think dating sober can actually foster emotional intimacy. Now,
Speaker 1: remember emotional intimacy is the glue. Right. If you don't
Speaker 1: have that glue, if your relationship is based on only
Speaker 1: the superficial, it's going to be a very tenuous relationship.
Speaker 1: But when you don't have alcohol in your system and
Speaker 1: you don't have that, you're not like this chatty, euphoric person.
Speaker 1: You're your real, authentic self. This can be very attractive
Speaker 1: to people, people of all genders. Right to show up
Speaker 1: as your true self, and that might be somebody who says, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm a little nervous about this, right, that's honest. Right,
Speaker 1: you start off with intimacy from the beginning. It's one
Speaker 1: of the reasons why I've been a huge fan of
Speaker 1: coffee dates instead of first dates in a bar. Now,
Speaker 1: people say, well, how do you do it? Like, how
Speaker 1: do you like tell somebody like you're going to do
Speaker 1: this right? Well, let me say, you don't need to
Speaker 1: tell anybody anything. You can disorder your diet coque. I
Speaker 1: mean it's a first date. What do they need to
Speaker 1: know about? Who are what you're doing? Right, if you
Speaker 1: have a sober, curious lifestyle, just do it. You don't
Speaker 1: know anybody and explanation. And also if you are worried
Speaker 1: that without alcohol you're going to have so much anxiety
Speaker 1: you won't be able to get through it. Remember, there
Speaker 1: are so many ways to naturally calm your parasympathic nervous system,
Speaker 1: I mean your sympathetic nervous system. There are ways that
Speaker 1: you can change your state of consciousness. You can do
Speaker 1: it through deep breath work, meditation, even exercise. Try any
Speaker 1: of those before you go out on a date. But again,
Speaker 1: you don't have to tell anybody what you're doing. On
Speaker 1: the other hand, if you have a kind of agenda,
Speaker 1: like let's try the sober curious dating lifestyle, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to message the person and say, I'm only going
Speaker 1: to have a date with you if you'll do sober
Speaker 1: dating with me. You know, I just want to remind
Speaker 1: you you can't change anyone else's behavior, right. You can
Speaker 1: only change your own behavior, and you can change your
Speaker 1: reaction to their behavior. But if you've got this fantasy
Speaker 1: that every date you have wants to try sober curious dating,
Speaker 1: they might not be interested, and that's okay. They still
Speaker 1: might be a good person. Right, here's what you do.
Speaker 1: This is my opinion. If you're gonna try this sober
Speaker 1: dating thing. Just don't date in a bar. Have a
Speaker 1: morning date for breakfast, an afternoon date coffee, go for
Speaker 1: a hike or a place where alcohol is an appropriate
Speaker 1: yoga class, race, car driving simulators, museums and that way
Speaker 1: there's no awkwardness, no need to discuss, just time and
Speaker 1: place to enjoy each other sober as people normally would.
Speaker 1: I do want to say one other thing, though, So
Speaker 1: when some people see you order your die coke instead
Speaker 1: of your drink and then you say, oh, you're just
Speaker 1: doing some sober dating, they might immediately assume that you
Speaker 1: have an alcohol use disorder. Remember, there are plenty of
Speaker 1: social drinkers who may be biologically addicted to alcohol but
Speaker 1: not psychologically addicted. So what that means is a lot
Speaker 1: of people who have alcohol use disorders actually have an
Speaker 1: under alyging mental health condition and they are self medicating
Speaker 1: or they have unmanageable feelings that they're unable to deal with. Right.
Speaker 1: But there are other people that are just in the
Speaker 1: habit of drinking every day. An alcohol station in your
Speaker 1: system for about twenty four hours and then so you know,
Speaker 1: it's like you get a craving again. It's five o'clock
Speaker 1: somewhere right, you get that craving again. So for those
Speaker 1: people who might be biologically addicted, I would suggest learning
Speaker 1: to drink socially two or three times a week. That
Speaker 1: can improve your health, mental health, physical health. And if
Speaker 1: you don't have an alcohol use disorder, you can just
Speaker 1: explain to your date that you just like to have
Speaker 1: a clear head during a date. Now, if anything I've
Speaker 1: said strikes you as oh, maybe I do have an
Speaker 1: alcohol use disorder, I just want to say, don't try
Speaker 1: to quit alone. Reach out to a licensed addiction treatment
Speaker 1: counselor or look up your local Alcoholics Anonymous chapter. Okay,
Speaker 1: don't try to do it alone. But for you social drinkers,
Speaker 1: if you want to be sober and a date, go
Speaker 1: for it. Hey, when we come back, there's a trend
Speaker 1: happening with some men online that's very, very disturbing. Let's
Speaker 1: talk about it when we come back. You're listening to
Speaker 1: The Doctor Wendy Wall Show on I AM six forty
Speaker 1: Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2: You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
Speaker 2: AM six forty.
Speaker 1: The Doctor Wendywall Show on KFI AM six forty live
Speaker 1: everywhere on the iHeartRadio app all right, from sober dating
Speaker 1: to something even more sobering. You might have heard about this. Men,
Speaker 1: certain men, some men, probably only a small minority of
Speaker 1: men are taking this electoral win of the far right
Speaker 1: to social media in a way that is heartbreaking. Now,
Speaker 1: there's an institute called the Institute for Strategic Dialogue CALLEDSD.
Speaker 1: So they're a group of their independent, their nonprofit organizations,
Speaker 1: and what they're all about is trying to safeguard human
Speaker 1: rights and trying to reverse the rising tide of polarization
Speaker 1: or extremism or disinformation worldwide. So they do a lot
Speaker 1: of research and some of the things they say on
Speaker 1: their website, well, first of all, it was brought to
Speaker 1: my attention because people were sending me screenshots of these
Speaker 1: things men are posting on x and even Instagram. And
Speaker 1: we're not talking about every man. We're talking about very
Speaker 1: small minority. But the things that they feel are okay
Speaker 1: to say publicly now are pretty shocking. So so you
Speaker 1: know that this particular election was focused a lot on
Speaker 1: women's reproductive rights, and following Vice President Kamala Harris's loss,
Speaker 1: there grew this online. I'm going to say it abuse, harassment, misogyny,
Speaker 1: and it started really this emboldened group of men. They
Speaker 1: call themselves online the man O Sphere, m anosp man
Speaker 1: O Sphere, and they are influencers or people who just
Speaker 1: have extreme ideologies and they are delighted that the Supreme
Speaker 1: Court struck down Roe v. Wade. They use these platforms
Speaker 1: to say things that are shocking. Now, this group who
Speaker 1: does research, the ISD, observed reports of these narratives being
Speaker 1: used to harass women online, particularly on high school and
Speaker 1: college campuses. In fact, in just twenty four hours after
Speaker 1: the election results came in, they have found a forty
Speaker 1: six hundred increase in mentions of get ready for I'm
Speaker 1: going to say something disgusting, but it's being tweeted all
Speaker 1: over the internet right now, Your body my choice? Can
Speaker 1: you imagine? Or get back in the kitchen. They're using
Speaker 1: the C word a lot. They're attacking certain feminists online
Speaker 1: and literally there's a guy named I don't even want
Speaker 1: to say his name, but he's a white nationalist podcaster
Speaker 1: who's a big influencer, has tons of followers. He wrote
Speaker 1: your Body, My Choice Forever, Period and it has received
Speaker 1: thirty five million views, and women on TikTok are starting
Speaker 1: to talk about how scared they are having to delete
Speaker 1: this kind of harassment on an every day. Now, I'm
Speaker 1: somebody who has been in the media for decades, and
Speaker 1: I will tell you I have been canceled many times
Speaker 1: times because, as I say, sometimes when I'm doing a
Speaker 1: slap back at somebody, I'm like, it's a tweet, it's
Speaker 1: not a dissertation. In other words, one sentence doesn't sum
Speaker 1: up all the thoughts that I have. Right, So apparently, well,
Speaker 1: what I want to explain is that during the few
Speaker 1: times even me, with my strong backbone and good self esteem,
Speaker 1: has been canceled. I'm not gonna lie. It hurts. It
Speaker 1: hurts a lot. There's research to show that emotional pain,
Speaker 1: and especially when it's public shame, can feel the same
Speaker 1: way on the brain as physical pain. Right, And so
Speaker 1: so many young women are being harassed online with this
Speaker 1: phrase your body, my choice, and now we're hearing that
Speaker 1: young boys are chanting it at high schools and on
Speaker 1: college campuses. In fact, one parent stated today my daughter
Speaker 1: was told three separate times on campus your body my choice,
Speaker 1: and a third group of boys told her you better
Speaker 1: sleep with one eye open. Tonight. I mean, I'm shocked.
Speaker 1: I have to tell you. So this has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with sexual assault, but the fear that women have,
Speaker 1: especially when they're young, about high disosterone boys and what
Speaker 1: they could possibly do. When I was in the eighth grade,
Speaker 1: the boys started this thing. Now, this was in Canada
Speaker 1: and there was snow on the ground. We had started
Speaker 1: to wear makeup, a little mascara, maybe a little lip
Speaker 1: glass whatever. Eighth grade, right, we're fourteen, We're starting to
Speaker 1: wear a little makeup. And the boys thought this was funny.
Speaker 1: So they thought they would meet us at the gates
Speaker 1: to the school yard before we came in to the
Speaker 1: safety of the schoolyard and they would quote unquote wash
Speaker 1: our face out with snow. Now, let me explain how
Speaker 1: terrifying this is. Because you have big mittened hands of
Speaker 1: boys with so much snow on your face. That's rough,
Speaker 1: it's got ice particles in it. They're trying to mess
Speaker 1: up your mascara to make you look ugly when you
Speaker 1: walk onto campus. Eighth grade boys, what can I say
Speaker 1: but the terror because it's suffocating. You got hands all
Speaker 1: over your face, pushing snow in your face. So anyway,
Speaker 1: of course, me, being an early feminist and not knowing it,
Speaker 1: went and complained to the teacher, of the principal and everybody.
Speaker 1: And I was the one who mostly got in trouble
Speaker 1: that I couldn't take a joke. No, this was a
Speaker 1: long time ago, and I think it would be treated
Speaker 1: very differently today. But I feel like the words these
Speaker 1: you know guys are using on college campuses, in high
Speaker 1: schools and probably even middle schools. They're also calling for
Speaker 1: the nineteenth Amendment to be repealed. That's the one that
Speaker 1: gave women the vote. Okay, and this stuff is being retweeted, reposted,
Speaker 1: pushed around. It's terrifying. It's terrifying now, somebody, So there
Speaker 1: is some some women out there who are saying, oh no, actually,
Speaker 1: you know the worst of the worst, right the massages.
Speaker 1: Andrew Tate, if you haven't heard of himn't look him up, please,
Speaker 1: he doesn't need it. And one more person to follow him.
Speaker 1: He quoted that this is what he put on X.
Speaker 1: I saw a woman crossing the road today, but I
Speaker 1: just kept my foot down right of way. You no
Speaker 1: longer have rights. That post received almost a million views
Speaker 1: in two hours. So anyway, what are women doing in response.
Speaker 1: You might be surprised to learn that women are doing
Speaker 1: something that you might consider to be old fashioned, but
Speaker 1: now it's considered modern. Let's talk about it when we
Speaker 1: come back. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls
Speaker 1: Show on KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere on
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio App.
Speaker 2: You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
Speaker 2: AM six forty.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Dr Wendy Walls Show on KFI
Speaker 1: AM six forty, Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App. I
Speaker 1: know that last segment was a downer. I'm as disturbed
Speaker 1: by this as you are. We talk about how polarized
Speaker 1: we've become, but really, to divide the sexes that much
Speaker 1: it scares me. But you know, whenever men do something,
Speaker 1: women find a way to retaliate. Remember this recent victory
Speaker 1: by Donald Donald. I came to say the name Donald J.
Speaker 1: Trump got it. He won fair and square. It was
Speaker 1: driven in large part by those young male voters who
Speaker 1: I talked about earlier, and so many people in America
Speaker 1: felt like this whole election was really a referendum on
Speaker 1: women's rights. I mean, think about it. Donald Trump had
Speaker 1: been found liable for sexual abuse. His vice presidential candidate
Speaker 1: called women childless cat ladies. His buddy Elon Musk talks
Speaker 1: about anytime there's a woman who doesn't have a baby,
Speaker 1: he'd be happy to give her a baby. He's got that.
Speaker 1: We know of nine kids already. By the way, this
Speaker 1: is very evolutionary in evolutionary psychology terms. When men are
Speaker 1: feeling their power leaving, the one legacy they always have
Speaker 1: is to make sure they impregnate as many women as
Speaker 1: they can. And they do that by taking away their
Speaker 1: rights to their bodies or their rights to control their reproduction. Right,
Speaker 1: that's female power. So last week someone said to me, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, there's this new trend in South Korea called
Speaker 1: the four B movement be as a boy, and it
Speaker 1: started in twenty nineteen apparently when Korean women where basically
Speaker 1: the culture in South Korea was one where women's entire
Speaker 1: value and even self identity was highly correlated with whether
Speaker 1: they were married or not right, and so it was
Speaker 1: all about the pursuit of a husband instead of the
Speaker 1: pursuit of education. And so this cultural movement called the
Speaker 1: four B movement I'll explain it in a minute, started
Speaker 1: and as a result, Today, five years later, university registration
Speaker 1: has surged. With females getting more education, they are often
Speaker 1: delaying marriage and childbirth. So what's the four B movement?
Speaker 1: So in it's called that because the Korean word by
Speaker 1: means no, no this, no that, So think of every
Speaker 1: time you hear be, think of the word no. So
Speaker 1: the movement calls for no dating men, no sexual relationships
Speaker 1: with men, atterosexual marriage, and get this, no pregnancy, no childbirth,
Speaker 1: basically close our legs. So it seems extreme, doesn't it.
Speaker 1: But after the election last week, there is now a
Speaker 1: trend on TikTok and all social media as this four
Speaker 1: B movement is starting to be pushed. Here listen to
Speaker 1: this one, this particular TikToker. Explain it, ladies. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying this to be facetious, but I don't care if
Speaker 1: you're a rose girl, a wand girl, or a monster
Speaker 1: alien tentacle girl. Stock up now for your moments of weakness,
Speaker 1: because I promise you ain't not alive worth getting stuck
Speaker 1: with a man.
Speaker 2: None.
Speaker 1: We are taking off the table indefinitely. I'm not sure
Speaker 1: that women are going to achieve this, but the New
Speaker 1: York Times did an entire article about the four B movement,
Speaker 1: and they quoted a woman who said, and this was
Speaker 1: the thing that struck me, This was a thing I
Speaker 1: loved the most. Her sentence was something to the effect of,
Speaker 1: it would have to be a very special man for
Speaker 1: me to break the four bes four meaning have sex with,
Speaker 1: or get married to, or have children with. And I thought,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, finally women are realizing that behaving traditionally
Speaker 1: as men behaved sexually isn't always female freedom. In fact,
Speaker 1: I've always said, adopting a male model of anything is
Speaker 1: not female freedom. Female's power is respecting their body, respecting
Speaker 1: their very intelligent biology that often, because we emit so
Speaker 1: much oxytocin during sex and orgasm, often falls in love
Speaker 1: with a loser when we didn't even mean to. Or
Speaker 1: those girls who say, oh, I love the hookup culture.
Speaker 1: It's so great. You know how many are actually crying
Speaker 1: in a therapist's office the next day. So, and it's
Speaker 1: not to say that this is a moral question. This
Speaker 1: is not to say that there aren't women out there
Speaker 1: who can and should and let's all be sex positive, enjoy, enjoy,
Speaker 1: and enjoy. But look where it got us here. We
Speaker 1: are with men saying these things online and women going whoa, whoa, whoa,
Speaker 1: whoa whoa. Wait a minute, maybe I do have some
Speaker 1: power here. So anyway, google it the four B movement.
Speaker 1: If you're a young woman, maybe you want to join
Speaker 1: the movement for a while and see what it is
Speaker 1: to have true female power, because that is ultimately female power.
Speaker 1: I that brings our show to a wrap up here,
Speaker 1: but I want to say it is for more than
Speaker 1: a decade, I have continued to disseminate explain all the
Speaker 1: latest research on the science of love, and as various
Speaker 1: trends are, I try to explore them in the most
Speaker 1: fair way, interjecting my opinions sometimes because I'm a human
Speaker 1: being and I'm a radio talk show host. But stay
Speaker 1: with me because I want to continue to follow these
Speaker 1: particular trends because something is happening in America. There's a
Speaker 1: new battle of the sexes going on, and let's see
Speaker 1: what happens as a result of it. I'm always here
Speaker 1: for you every Sunday from seven to nine pm. You've
Speaker 1: been listening to The Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI
Speaker 1: AM six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app you've
Speaker 1: been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can always hear
Speaker 1: us live on KFI Am six forty from seven to
Speaker 1: nine pm on Sunday and anytime on demand on the
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app