Speaker 1: Captain carry says, I can't fire the guy on a hunch,
so Kyle lives, and in the post credit scene, we
see a joker like smile scrawl across the face of
Stilly again, what.
Speaker 2: Are you take the out dude? Take the out distance
distance right.
Speaker 1: It's like somebody inventing that they were on Jeffrey Epstein's plane.
Speaker 2: I was on it. Were you on it?
Speaker 1: No? I was just kidding.
Speaker 2: I was fucking around, But was I? But the stakes
are way way lower?
Speaker 1: Hi loan, Welcome to another brands Bag new episode a
bad TV.
Speaker 2: I'm Dylan, that is pat permission to come.
Speaker 1: Oh granted, I had so much fun with this episode.
Speaker 2: This episode was great.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Lots of twists and turns.
Speaker 1: One of the most confusing things to brag about I
think we've ever seen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's something you bury in the deep dark regions
of your.
Speaker 1: Because you are going to be fired for it if
you do brag about it.
Speaker 2: Well, he may have not known that it's a technicality.
She did she slip it in or did she not
slip it in? Or was he just jokeing?
Speaker 1: One of the most confusing things to brag about, Like
it's unprofessional. Okay, it's like Houdini type stuff like like
I well, like they.
Speaker 2: Were surrounded by people. I mean, God, super confusing, super
James bod stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, we're going to get into the whole thing.
Join us a pictureon dot com Slash another podcast network,
and pat has something to say.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have something to say. All right, So we're
thinking about jumping ship.
Speaker 1: We're jumping ship on Miami.
Speaker 2: Because I gotta be honest with you. Patreon is to
make money, so we need to put things there that
you guys are into. You've shown us by your response.
I've done a call to action to ask. I said.
All I wanted was thirty more patrons to jump in
there to show me that you care that much about
that franchise.
Speaker 1: And I said don't and.
Speaker 2: They listened to Dylan, You're not there. Therefore, this week
we're gonna come up with something. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think we're gonna do Traders and Rock of Love,
Rock of Love, Traders and Rock.
Speaker 2: We haven't done season two of.
Speaker 1: Rock of Love right now, we have not Wow.
Speaker 2: You know, I know a girl from Rock of Love
and I'll share some great stories.
Speaker 1: Let's have her on Oh I bet she'd come up.
So traders vh one stuff coming to Patreon soon. I
wanted to get to some iTunes ratings and reviews. Oh really,
we've had some good ones.
Speaker 2: Okay, I think good thing Ruby's not here. I think
we had a listener that had to let her have it.
Oh yeah, yeah, it's her ego. How could her ego
handle us reading a negative review about her?
Speaker 1: I think so. But she's still you know, she's still
a bit of a rookie in this game. And the
first couple of hits you take or are they bruise
But because we've been doing this for a wow, they
don't bruise me. This is from Tracy MSP who left.
I think she wrote like three hundred words, and it's
a very very confusing one.
Speaker 2: This is a long one.
Speaker 1: It's a long one, a.
Speaker 2: Lot of like what's the header? Like?
Speaker 1: Uh, usually those pat's start your own podcast?
Speaker 2: It does it start that one?
Speaker 1: Yes? I love you, okay, But then they go on
to say that I don't paraphrase read it, we got time. No, No,
I don't want.
Speaker 2: To any accolades for me. Why I should start my
own podcast?
Speaker 1: Just that you're funny, smart, funny, introspective, relatable, capable of
laughing at himself, all the things Dylan is incapable of.
Oh wow, there we go. Okay, now, the the review
kind of spirals into this madness right and and accuses
me of not life, not liking your wife or your
children because they're black.
Speaker 2: Wow, you don't like black people? Huh boy, I don't
know if I can have you at this house anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I know. It's crazy. And then it was
really confusing because she's in the review. She said that
the reason that I hate your wife, well it's because
she's black, but also because of my failed music career.
Speaker 2: Wow, little boy, maybe she you know sometimes they mix
up podcasts. Yeah, this could be Dylan from another podcast
and she's mixing it up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just I don't think the cocktails quite right.
Speaker 2: Read that one about Ruby because that one.
Speaker 1: No, No, I'm not gonna read this one. But this
is a great one. Four stars from Old Miss five. Now.
We've said many times we do not want one star
or two star, three star forward.
Speaker 2: No, no, because two stars, three stars, four stars that
means you're mediocre, because you're in the middle.
Speaker 1: And this is America, aren't we binarily tribal. Right now
aren't we either? Or right?
Speaker 2: Do we hold a nation spellbound? Or do you despise us?
Speaker 1: So this is from uh ole miss five love you guys,
and I would have left five stars. But pat prefers
scones over croissants. Scones. Dude, Well, now now I understand
that this is this is a medium, is a good
way to leave a rib and uh and it worked, but.
Speaker 2: Change that hurts our fucking ratings. And also how we
look here? Fuck fucking put a fucking five there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I have to say that you have to
do that. And I will also agree with you that
anyone who prefers a scone over a scone, as Luendelsteps
would say, over a croissant, is I mean truly insane.
Speaker 2: Well, you guys haven't been in Holly's Bakery. Then that's
where I buy my scones and they are delicious.
Speaker 1: Do they have croissants there? Yes, you don't get it.
Speaker 2: I think they buy them from another vendor they make
the scones there.
Speaker 1: Oh really yes, Well, I mean it's a case by
case thing. So let's here you go, traders h one
coming to patroon dot com. We have to get into
the show right now, thoughts, spots.
Speaker 2: Go Okay, So there was a little story arc here
that took place in the episode that I think because
we were wondering if Stilly's penis didn't f slip into
Helen's vag it was overshadowed by and that was Ole Sole.
She got her comeupance. I truly enjoy someone who plays
with other people's emotions getting what they gave up. Your thoughts,
your pots, Okay, Jess is still extremely immature and all
over the goddamn place. Barbes, you should have said no
to that goddamn date. I know it's fun to cuddle
with people. I love to cuddle too.
Speaker 1: Who doesn't love a cuddle? Well, most men actually don't
love a cuddle.
Speaker 2: Well, I'll say this, just cuddle. There's no emotions connected
to it. Justice too emotionally immature to provide you what
you want at this point. But I did enjoy that.
And then Fraser phrase, you know I love you. I
said if I had a baby brother, I wanted it
to be you. I told you that to your face,
and I still mean that. That being said, you're quite
the tattletale framing that this information must be given to
Captain Carrey.
Speaker 1: I agree with him, and me and Fraser are in
a cold war. He is my enemy, but I agree
with Fraser. He's fucking walking around the book telling everybody
that he fucked a tartter. Guys, he slipped it in
while while there were numerous people. You have to say that,
and I, Captain, I got to tell you something. I
I said, I slipped it in. What are you talking about?
Speaker 2: Why didn't Hugo Boss do the same thing? He works
under Hugo Boss. This is not your department, Fraser. Yeah,
he loves getting people fired.
Speaker 1: No, he doesn't, Fraser, come on the show. Okay, how
many pots?
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm trying to think if there was anything else
that I loved. Boy, Richard's having a tough night. Oh yeah, Helen,
he said he did, and then he said he didn't,
So did he he didn't. Well, now I'm finishing the episode.
He's getting interviewed by a producers. He's saying, call hell,
and did he call you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we didn't.
Speaker 2: And now I'm seeing him saying that he he may
have done it. Yeah, it's just poor Richard.
Speaker 1: It's just completely impractical.
Speaker 2: Ninety pots.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought it was a ninety pot Episode two.
The car stuff was so much fun. I mean, we've
completely forgotten in the entire like wal to Wall drama,
we had a lovely young woman just serendipitously, I mean
two puzzle pieces coming together. I mean it took seven.
Speaker 2: You're referring to Martini Martin. Yeah, I love Martini. And
she's from Massachusetts. She's a masshole here. This is not
a stereotype girls from New Jersey and Massachusetts. I don't
know what's in the water. They don't put out, they
don't do this.
Speaker 1: You never get with a woman from bassat chiets Dear.
Speaker 2: They don't put out, they don't do it. I could.
I was shocked. She was pretty, and now her sexual
entanglement with this sea rat has been immortalized.
Speaker 1: And I love she. She she's got a little bit
of she's got a teflon thing about her.
Speaker 2: She just so what.
Speaker 1: I fucking bagged a Scottish guy in the ground, soaked
in pest.
Speaker 2: And I love that. But dyl, there are always unfortunate, uh,
unintended consequences. You know what that sounds. It's somebody falling, well,
someone broke their neck intentionally. That was her dad because
he happened to watch Below Deck. Yeah, and then he
went to work the next day and someone said, Earl,
I'm watching the show below Deck and my wife says,
is that Martini? And I said, I think that's Martini?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Wow, she's great on camera or worse.
Speaker 1: He's like, uh no, I haven't seen it, and they're like, oh,
you gotta watch wow yea, yeah, she's doing great. Yeah. Yeah, anyway,
that's a little crazy.
Speaker 2: You know. I've been watching Chief ub Wah you know,
yeah with Jason Mamma, Yeah, did you watch it? I
haven't watched it? What was He did a series similar
to that on another streaming service.
Speaker 1: I can't remember what it was called, Uh yeah, something
like Hunter Yeah, something black and white.
Speaker 2: Yeah. He's like, you like Chief of War.
Speaker 1: But did you know that the ancient Hawaiians when they
pass their their the daughter off to the king can
come aa maa. In this instance, they consummate their marriage
in front of everybody. Oh really, They go into a
tent and they bang in front of the entire village,
including including the dad.
Speaker 2: Well is he in the tent?
Speaker 1: The Dad's not in the tent, he's outside. Can you
imagine little Ellie consummating her marriage and you're watching. I mean,
my god, well.
Speaker 2: You hear this, that would be me jumping off a
cliff because they don't.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wow, I got to check that out. Wait, when's Jason
Momo going to take his comic turn in cinema?
Speaker 1: Oh he did in the Minecraft movie.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I watched about twenty minutes of that.
Speaker 1: Was a piece of shit. Yeah, it was a piece
of shit. There was one funny part where the teacher
gets in front of the class and he's like, I
was laughing so hard. I was like, I'm so hopeful
for this movie, and then it was just so bad
that he gets in front of the class and he's like,
I'm financially just completely in ruin right now, and he's
just talking to the kids about it. I think I
remember how he's yeah, yeah, okay, so great episode ninety pots.
Let's get into it. So our deer Jess is torn up.
The everstorm of chaos and love that is Sir Caduceile
has ravage Jess and her heart. She cannot play this game.
Speaker 2: It is claiming her tears, and she's engaging in something
that's very rare in the Sea Route world. And that's
it's something called a little self reflect a little looking
in the mirror. Every once in a while, we should
all take a look in the mirror.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because retrospection for a sea rat, essentially is I mean,
they do look in a mirror, but it's it's a
mirror that they've punched, and it's it's fractured, and it's
really tough to glean anything one way or the other.
Speaker 2: And that's probably why they always say to that mirror,
I'm fucking awesome, right right.
Speaker 1: Right, fuck you, what do you know? But we really
kick off with a story, a story of starters and
mains and desserts.
Speaker 2: Right. I love how it kicks off with Helen and
her buddy Michelle. They thank Captain Carrey for tricking that
tri State trash into where quite the ropeo dope, and
and I think they point out that, Hey, because you
did that, you helped make this vacation awesome. Helen, you
invited that person on this shop. Okay, I just want
to remind you of that. By the way, we were
a little peak behind the camera. We were trying to
get them as a three on the podcast, and I
don't know, for whatever reason, Helen and Michelle, who are
still on the boat, didn't want to do the podcast.
Speaker 1: With Kelly, and I was like, I don't want to
do the podcast with anybody but Kelly. So if we
don't have Kelly, we got lots.
Speaker 2: And then everybody. Well, to be fair to us, they
ghosted us, but it was probably because they listened to
our RecA. Yeah, a lot of people don't like to
be called tri state trash.
Speaker 1: That's a good point. That's a really good point, and
I would blame him at all. Right, So listen, this
dinner is a tale of two men, one a year
less experienced, the other forged by his own mistakes. You know,
both actually had their wives claimed by their uncle. Because
I'm talking about the same man. Ah right, it's Anthony.
But first course is a mushroom valuta, and we move
into a deconstructed caprasi, which you know, if you take
the easiest salad on planet Earth and make it easier,
that's what Anthony did.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say, deconstructed is quite
the cop out in the culinary arts, is it not?
Speaker 1: Because it can be an can't be. Well, one could
argue that ad that a kuprazy salad is already deconconstructed.
Speaker 2: So dumping it out of a bowl onto a wooden
board is that some horseshit?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Right, yeah, the next course.
Speaker 2: Oh, I was going to say, here's my version of deconstructed.
What I have here is white bread. There's a little bloone.
You do the pronunciation a little artfully.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you call it mortdelare.
Speaker 2: Oh there you go? And uh and I say, that's
that's a deconstructed Boloney sandwich before your eyes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean there there are restaurants in New
York City wherein you know, it wouldn't blow me away
if there was a twenty seven dollars deconstructed Boloney sandwich
on a table. And I bet you was probably pretty
fucking good too.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, carry your meat and house and you know, bacon,
nce milk, bread, toast it up, have some kind of sauce,
a mustard.
Speaker 2: We're just looking for things to do. Oh yeah, there's
a coffee shop on Ventura Boulevard. I see a line
out the door every day.
Speaker 1: Oh and I want to talk about this on APS.
Macha is having a moment right now, is it?
Speaker 2: It's Macha's moment?
Speaker 1: It is one hundred percent Macha's moment. Right now, they're
putting Tiara Massou and freaking cake and Macha. People are
lining up around the block for Macha. I mean, it's nuts.
Speaker 2: When do we just as a culture just have a
big vat and we just throw fucking pigs in it, cake,
fucking nachos. We grind it all up and go, this.
Speaker 1: Is everything, and we eat it.
Speaker 2: No, we drink it out of a fucking all right.
Speaker 1: It was too bizarre hypothetical to even entertained. So next
up Akish with comte and lemons. As you could say
that those zest danced on top of the plate, you
could also say that it fell onto the plate the
way that a drunk does too, you know, yeah, yeah,
I mean it was just really, really sloppy.
Speaker 2: I was going to say it was an upscale version
of something they'd serve it Ie Hop formed scrambled eggs.
Is that not what Keisha?
Speaker 1: No, that's not what Keisha is. No, Pat, why don't
you I'll back this is sit back. Okay. We take
a little bit of a break and Jennifer says that
she's gonna make carry a Sunday sauce and meet boys
and veil and fucking olive oil and fucking shit and
the guy says, hey, my own, it's it's gravy, you know,
and they they fight.
Speaker 2: I couldn't wait till they got off the fucking boat.
I'm sorry they Helen and her crew. They ended up
being really nice people. Good luck in that bedroom with
richer tonight. Unless you guys are into that sort of thing.
Speaker 1: But that, hey, pat fucking they're into that.
Speaker 2: They're into it. Oh yeah, yeah, Because I was like,
is this a warning for guys not to fall asleep
on the beach. Even if your wife is surrounded by
twelve other people, they can still find a way.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, they're into it.
Speaker 2: Well, I can't handle these accents anymore. I've about had it.
Speaker 1: Next chorus is the Chilean sea bass and mango salsa
is paired with the fish, and a risotto has slopped
on the rim of the plate kind of the way
like I you know, you know how a field medic
like rushes to an emergency and just sets its stuff down.
You know, That's what the risotta looked like on the
rim of this.
Speaker 2: Generally it was fouls generally thrown down half azzard that
you got to attend to a person bleeding.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and they might not make it, so who
has time to structure things? Aged rabbi with potato milfoy
and a roasted carrot is up next, and we end
the meal with a chocolate coconut and ash and a
dish called love passionate champagne, also known as a fruit
and cheese plate.
Speaker 2: This was.
Speaker 1: Absolutely disgusting, wall to wall failed. No, I'm kidding, I
thought Anthony. He's been eventued. The boy whose uncle stole
his wife, the boy who was was brought up and
forged in the fires of painful dyslexia, has now found
himself and has described badass chef himself on the port. Yes,
yes he is.
Speaker 2: He can look in the mirror now and say, I'm
a badass chef. And all those people told me I
was a loser or wrong, wrong, And that's when Captain Carrey,
I believe, walks in the gallon. He says, Anthony, your
dad he's looking down on you, right yeah, and coincidentally
your uncle is going down on your ex wife. Ouch.
That's gotta hurt.
Speaker 1: I want to apologize to everybody for uh just the
continued onslaught it's not even funny.
Speaker 2: Dyl I can't not finish out the season with reminding
everybody that his uncle slept with his wee.
Speaker 1: I know, And you have to ask yourself why it's compulsion.
Is there any more understanding that needs to be had.
Speaker 2: Maybe some people are tuning in that are news do
this show and they need to know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't know. Yeah. No, it's a good point,
and we will not stop. We can't stop. No, no,
no quote Miley Cyrus. Okay, so all joking aside, I
thought he did great eighty pot dinner. You know, you
really have to hair down a tasting menu when you're
serving pepperoni people, and when you have three burners that
are not working. So yeah, yeah, all right. So Helen
has a gift for Captain Carrey. It's a very confusing garment.
It is I need. It's just it's like I didn't
even know they freged, you know, when we were talking
about how human beings are just freaking bored. Take the
panties and cut the part that goes around the bottom
and there's like a belt. Yeah yeah, so yes, Anthony's
Anthony does say that he wishes his father was there,
and in my notes. I was going to throw to
you because I knew that you were going to say
something horrific.
Speaker 2: Right, I don't know.
Speaker 1: The pajama party has been hatched celensas something very English
as a second language. This looks like backstage at a KFC.
Speaker 2: Now this is called a slaughterhouse, I believe.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sure for sure. But if you think about
the saying back stage at a KFC, it's so funny
to me that saying hmm, that coupling of words backstage
implies a hurried miss, right, a kind of scattered chaos
to prepare for a performance. Right and uh KFCs uh
are there's just oil and dead chicken all over the place.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to help, she was referring to the
back room of KFC. Yeah, but you know I don't
speak French or right now for her. All right, So
I was triggered by this pillow fight. They have to
think these things.
Speaker 1: Through, I am. When I was watching this, I was like,
I'm so blown away that this was even onward. Why
is it on the on the tape?
Speaker 2: Okay, so I don't think I've told this story on
this show. This New Year's Eve, we had another couple
over with their daughter for New Year's Eve and we
were doing the East Coast time. We live in La
so at nine o'clock.
Speaker 1: I love the East Coast ball drop.
Speaker 2: The ball drops, and this husband and wife announced they
have these confetti throwers to ignite the celebration. I didn't
think much of it. We have the two kids do it,
Elliott and this daughter of theirs. And instantly when I say,
twenty thousand little stripes of whatever that paper is explode
into our living room, go everywhere. Three months after that,
I found a piece of confetti under my balls, and
I am very hygienic. It goes everywhere, and you will.
My wife was pissed. We've never talked to those people again.
Speaker 1: It was an above ever spoke.
Speaker 2: My wife refuses. She is thank god she was able
to hold on to not losing her mind.
Speaker 1: That night, my wife was do they go to the
same school?
Speaker 2: Now? It's possible that we never see them again. I
like the husband a lot, but I told her I
get her sentiment. She thought they did it on purpose
because they said, well, I guess your housekeeper is gonna
have a busy day tomorrow. There's something off like that.
And I just got under my wife's skin.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, mm hmm yep. Don't fuck with Shui, don't
fuck with Shoan, fuck with Si, don't fuck with her.
So Rainbow has an overture. I don't know if that's
the she is, the saying that she goes back to
a couple times this episode. We work till we die,
calm down, Selaine says, not me, and then vacuums feathers
out of her teds So we head down for bed.
Barbara cools Stilly off a little bit. The next morning,
he says, I want nothing to do with her, and
Babs is like, she's a fucking seer rat. Kyle take it.
I mean you're a serio. Yeah, what are we talking about?
Speaker 2: It's it's it's what are.
Speaker 1: These bruises of loyalty? I mean, it's it's amazing.
Speaker 2: How much she's been hurt. It's it's amazing that she's
able to step outside the box and realized just how
meaningless all of this is.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean there were successful novelists
that thought that everything was meaningless. I mean, imagine you're
just talking about banging somebody on a boat.
Speaker 2: Someone should ad Is it the Beatle.
Speaker 1: Kofka metamorphosis. Yeah, beatle. So we head into the dock
while Michelle and Helen do a TikTok and Jess is
realizing that she thinks Barbara is a better person, a
better kisser, and all that jazz and more on that
at five. But first we have to get to the
tip meeting. Feels like we haven't had one of these
in a while.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I was thinking, oh my goll right,
so sorry, sorry, So let's get to the jests and
Rainbow discussing barbs. Jess is starting to realize that she
may have let the right one get away and she
may ask her on a date. And I have some
advice for Jess. Feel free to take a week off
from your love life.
Speaker 1: That's what I was thinking too, Like we're on this
treadmill pretty aggressively, and it's like at the sad a
little celibacy for a week.
Speaker 2: Well, because Jess is so emotionally immature, this is all
about her feeling better about herself.
Speaker 1: We'll get to Barbara beware.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, tim meeting. Okay, can I break down
the game film?
Speaker 1: You know, I want to say really quickly, I want
to talk about it an aps. But my car got
hit last night by a food truck pretty significantly while
you were in it. No, how do you know, oh
cameras Nope. I was at a restaurant. Oh okay, came out.
The valet goes, you have a silver Prius.
Speaker 2: I go, uh, oh you know that parking lot oesy
the money it happened there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, we'll figure it out. But I'm immediately
as the guy says, do you have a specific kind
of car? I was like, what is going on here?
The way that Carrie opens up this conversation, You're just like, oh,
there's no way, Oh there is no there is bad
news coming.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he doesn't. He doesn't hide the whatever. Like
the second you walk into a room with him, you
know what's going to take place.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, It's like I thought we did great. I
thought you go as were amazing. I rip it up,
that fucking crazy bitch. I thought it was a really
good time.
Speaker 2: But a bunch of cheap has god damn cheap twenty
So I'm rounding up to be generous seventeen hundred. A
sea rat. The sea rats, when they're the camera pans
around them, they look despondent, Oh, it's like someone told
them that their dad was going to abandon them.
Speaker 1: Crestfallen, I would say, But we get to Damo whose
Damo is very preoccupied. I understand that phrase. You know,
you take umbradge with Frase and I do too, just
not over the specific thing. Me and Frasier and a
cold warrior is my enemy. But Damo is the one
that really spearheads the charge over the Helen and Kyle thing. Now,
Kyle is the one that.
Speaker 2: You know signed his When someone is drunk and starts
announcing that they did kill that runaway fourteen years ago.
Speaker 1: And you have to call the cops.
Speaker 2: You just have to. They may be drunk and they're
just being braggadocious for whatever reason about something imagining.
Speaker 1: A cop comes up, he goes, what are you doing?
Why are you bothering us with this?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry. Uh thought I could help you guys
out with a cold case. Oh my bad. And then
you know the cop would be like, you know what,
You're right, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I want to hear a crazy story. Yeah, So I
dated a girl twenty years ago. We dated a long time.
She has two brothers. She told me that her oldest
brother killed her father and that the rest of the
family never because he was kind of mentally ill. They
didn't report it. And he shot him in the head
in Silver Lake. And I don't know what year it was.
I won't say it. I actually know it because I
watch you guys like sleuthing out. I after we stopped just.
Speaker 1: Go like this, go like this. I think it was
like okay.
Speaker 2: So I was like, after we stopped talking, I was like,
I'm gonna start doing a little googling to see if
this really took place and had I found the actual
like unsolved mystery of this because she told me where
it took place, and her mother and the other brother,
and it always terrified me, like that he got away.
Speaker 1: We got away with it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's like Clive Owen in that movie which one, oh,
the one where he's the bank cropper, but he sits
in the Inside Man.
Speaker 2: Oh, Inside Man.
Speaker 1: That's a movie. That's a movie.
Speaker 2: I think there's two movies called inside Man. One is
about like Cameron Crow whatever, the Gladiator guy, and it
was about like uh Russell cru big pharma like with
cigarettes or whatever. Huh, and al Pacino is in it.
I think it's called inside Man.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, well yeah, there's like five movies called Ocuabarine
I think. All right, so it's Kyle's birthday, listen, and
he's gonna do whatever he wants to do. That includes
letting a little too much steam out of the kennelough
you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so fun when you know a secret. But
I always say, when you have a secret, you have
to kill everyone. It gets capped if two people know
the secret and one of them is dead. Yeah, Helen's alive,
You're alive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so secret's not gonna get kept, especially if you
pull a fucking Robert Durst.
Speaker 2: Of course, of course I did it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, Kyle pulled a Durst. The difference between
him and Durst is that Durst actually did shop all
those people up and throw them in bags. So yeah,
didn't he have like a pretty good excuse for why
he did it?
Speaker 2: Which murder are you talking about one where he chopped
the guy up? Okay, so that was a neighbor and
he said it was self defense. Yeah, I don't think
you chopping his body up and then hiding it is well,
I mean, just call the cops and say this guy
tried to kill me.
Speaker 1: That's another thing that I think the cops would understand.
They're like, why did you chop his body up and
throw I'd listen, the guy came after me. I just
didn't want to deal with it. Okay, we get it.
Speaker 2: That's an amazing documentary.
Speaker 1: Amazing, amazing. The jinks. They tried to catch lightning in
a bottle twice? Is that what you say? You try
to catch lightning in a bottle twice? Can't the bottle up?
That's what they say. So too many beans out of
the can saying like a canary said he banged hell
n without a rubber in the water. Yeah.
Speaker 2: When he gets to that young masshole, yeah, oh I
banged her. Yeah anyway, and h yeah, I didn't wear
a rub I might have been bred a complete stranger.
Speaker 1: Yeah wow, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's talking
about banging Helen without a rubbery, right and in the
water says she refused or he refused, but she wanted
to fuck. That's what he says in the caps. But
we hit the table and Kyle immediately gets up and
finds one of the most serendipitous and willing partners. I
think we've ever seen on reality telling. Yeah, okay, he
and Martini from Boston go on a little walk about.
They hit the beach and then they had a urinal
and then they bang on a floor soaked in the
Simon bacteria underneath everyone's feet. But they also bang in
particulates of shit and piss, and not even particulates. I
mean some of it was just puddled.
Speaker 2: I must say, if you don't mind backing up here,
because I just want to capture all of this. Kyle's
knows I love a drunk, and I love a drunk
with courage, drunken courage. Yeah, because sometimes you can pull
it off. Also worth noting his nose gets redder the
more he drinks. Well he's Scottish, right, Yeah, but it's
like it's a good metric to know how many he's had.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The Scots are like God came down and pinched
their nose and was like you stop being alcoholics, and
then they didn't listen and then all the alcohol flows
right right to their dose.
Speaker 2: All right, So he starts, uh, let's see here. Oh,
I was gonna say he pulled this off with this
masshole in under seven minutes. Yeah, he's already smacking.
Speaker 1: Ordered a steak, got up, hit on her, went to
the beach, bangor and a urinal sat back down ate
the steak. I mean, it's a pretty impressive sequence of
events very quick.
Speaker 2: I've had a captured in a bottle. It's a beautiful thing,
you know. When I own that goddamn tour company, that's
people were traveling, and every once in a while, I think,
as I was having relations with a person from out
of town, I often wonder if there was.
Speaker 1: A venereal deduce.
Speaker 2: I protect myself, dude. I come from the generation where
Aids you thought, if you looked at a girl too long,
you die of ades.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it aids as scary.
Speaker 2: Well, I want to say, I used to always wonder
like the girls, especially it was like girl trip. I'd
be like, is she engaged some lawyer or something?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Then you're like, I don't care.
Speaker 2: Oh, speaking which tease for another podcast show. My wife
is going on her first girls trip to Las Vegas
to see the Backstreet Boys. I'm sure everything will be fine.
Speaker 1: I think so too. Now listen the two of them
get back to a rousing applause from the bar. She's
a very fun girl. Kyle sits down and tells Selaine
that Martine was better than her.
Speaker 2: Kyle, come on, well, at least that dad has something
to be proud of.
Speaker 1: Kyle, that is not you. Okay, you don't need to
go doing that, Kyle. My goodness, great.
Speaker 2: Did you see how we ate that meat? Thrown it
in his face too? I have to say this is disgusting. Yeah,
but at least if you're a sea rat or in
this mindset, right then you're at the top of the world.
Oh yeah, closed, you close some ass, dear, that's one
of the Now you're gonna sit down, you're gonna watch
Sports Center, and you're gonna eat some beet and enjoy yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, No, Kyle is on sea rat cloud
nine right now. So we hit the boat and Solan
and Kyle have a little chat in the chacuzzie. Because
you said I was worse than the bathroom floor lady,
he said, yeah, I never said I was a good person.
That's an amazing alibi for offending somebody. You know, you
really didn't need to say that thing about the the
Jews never said I was not anti I mean what Jesus,
let's be clear about that, all right, so Babs and Jess,
where are we? Sorry?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, oh oh, this was ridiculous Jess. Meanwhile,
Jess uh chats with Barbs and ask if she can
go on a date with her. Yeah, and I was like,
please say fucking no.
Speaker 1: Oh she says yeah. But unfortunately we get a little
bit more confessional from Kyle where or confessions from Kyle wherein.
Speaker 2: He yeah, he chats with Damo and about his fight
with Ola oh man, And then there's that little piece
of business about him possibly impregnating that complete stranger who
we also raw dogged.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, people gotta be careful of what is going
on with you. That is crazy.
Speaker 2: I had have assect me when I was twenty four.
I still wore a condo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so nuts. I mean think about it, like
if you two are the type of people that will
just meet one another and then have sex with one
another on the floor of.
Speaker 2: A bathroom doggystun And then we didn't even say that.
Jess took a picture of that. Yeah, ah, don't do that.
Speaker 1: Don't do that.
Speaker 2: Don't do that.
Speaker 1: Don't do that. Not cool.
Speaker 2: You know what, Hey Martini, if you're listening, can we
have you on next morning.
Speaker 1: Next morning, just tells Selene that she asked Barbara on
a date. What was that move?
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what that is is Jess is closer
than Ole Sole than I thought. Yep, she's doing this.
They're an emotional like the trenches Cold War, Cold War?
How can I hurt you?
Speaker 1: Oh? No, Jess is And we'll get to this in
the date. Jess is still very focused on Celenne.
Speaker 2: Yes, she wants to get her back.
Speaker 1: Yes, And I feel so bad for Babs. I hope
it's not true. All right, so Celene pushed her away,
and it does sound like Selene has some reflection, But
I think it's fraudulent and more about the whole sex
addict thing. I think it's too power players getting frustrated
and flustered by not having control over the other.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing, Ola, you had a great time, but
you played your hand. You made out with everybody, and
now you're kind of just You're kind of just a
joke on the boat.
Speaker 1: You're kind of just drawing eyes in college ruled notebooks.
But Damo and the gang are wondering what the fuck
to do with Stilly. He seems like someone on the
brink and I take issue with Demo saying that a
fellow Sea Rat is on the brink. Hey, buddy, you
are all are brink?
Speaker 2: How dare you? And by the way, we get a
little Sea Rat history where Damo gets into this thing
that he had a friend, had a friend just just
like Stilly, and this is a someone someone like is
it Ben? He's calling out, is it Ben? No? Stilly
is a fucking drunk sex addict Sea rat. Yeah, having
the time of his life.
Speaker 1: He's on seat cloud nine.
Speaker 2: I like Kyle a lot.
Speaker 1: So the Sea Rats are all wondering what the hell
could possibly be going on the mystery of the slip in.
But we get to the preferen Shepe meeting. It's kind
of a bore, yeah, but the only thing of note
is that one of the dinners is going to be
chef's choice. And as we've said in the past, that
is very dangerous because you could have tears on a plate,
you know.
Speaker 2: If it's themed, and what would the theme be, pain,
deep deep pain?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, there would be there would be tears on
a plate, and then there would be a note card
with the word bed spelled deb and then there'll probably
be like a ratituey.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but to finish that course, I'd be like, ah,
can I have some chopsticks? I've never tried to eat
a tear drop before?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, And then when the note card you'd be like,
are you just like sick? And you'd be like, in fact,
I am all right, sorry, sorry sorry?
Speaker 2: Uh So they want a three course dinner and a
ten ten year anniversary jump off the boat in the
wedding dress.
Speaker 1: That's all stood.
Speaker 2: Yes, these people strike me as they are going to be.
Speaker 1: Very boring. I think they're going to be amazing. They're
they're not gonna tip them.
Speaker 2: Okay, so oh yes that teaser.
Speaker 1: The crew throw a little bit of a rager for
Kyle and Wailst. He is celebrating his big day. He's
told that he needs to chat with Cap, so he
heads up for a really confusing conversation.
Speaker 2: Now, as I saw this play out, where he's urged
to basically rat on himself, rat on himself before someone
else might, I would have dared them to rat him out.
But my note is deny, deny, deny. Well, the problem
is Karen Reid killed the guy and she's walking.
Speaker 1: She did not I know she didn't.
Speaker 2: I was just kidding about that.
Speaker 1: Okay, So listen. He goes up there and he tells,
Captain listen, I told everybody that I slipped it inside
of Helen in the water while I was holding on.
Speaker 2: Oh god, Hey, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Come on, I gotta edit these. That's true, Jesus.
Can I tell you how Carry fucked up here?
Speaker 1: Carrie?
Speaker 2: I know you listen, I'm gonna sorry. Captain Carry gets
show him respect. He's my favorite captain. Captain Carry, you
should have said.
Speaker 1: Who's your least favorite captain? What's he been up to?
You checked in him?
Speaker 2: I don't know, staring at a fucking wall. Enjoy retirement.
You act he's such a jerk if your captain Carry. Oh,
this would have been in the second conversation after he
did his investigation. You know how like when they do
those they record people that what's an interrogation. They're allowed
to lie to the person they're interrogating. I would have said, silly,
get in here, okay, I just got off phone with Richard. Yeah,
he said you fucked Alan, Yeah, so what do you
have to say for your Yeah? Yeah, he would have
given it up.
Speaker 1: Right, right, right, if it was there to give up.
But I don't think it easy.
Speaker 2: Ah, I'll say this, I like Kyle, I'm gonna let
the audience decide for yourself. If Old Patty was vetting
on this in Vegas, he absolutely slipped it.
Speaker 1: It no way. The mystery persists. But so he just
kept me carriedd and bang the charter guest.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, Carrie asked, did you bang her? Which
you said last week? I made that up and I
was thinking at the time, your Captain Carry, you have
to have a more dignified like way that you question this.
Speaker 1: Everybody's saying you're saying you bang that chat.
Speaker 2: I guess no, less crass. Did you get your splat
on right? Right? Okay?
Speaker 1: Well that would imply a climactic moment, and you know,
considering the manner in which you've spoken about this person tonight,
would be a physical and emotional impossibility, regardless of the environs. Right,
So you had it with the actions you really did?
Speaker 2: I know I did?
Speaker 1: Okay, so he goes. I didn't bang the charter guests.
I was just joking. I was just joking. Good for you. Still,
and Captain Carry is rightly very confused.
Speaker 2: Why would you admit something like that? I mean, we
can all question, well, why would you make this up? Right?
Speaker 1: Not not admit to something? Why would you invent it?
Speaker 2: I always love the phrase. I heard it when I
was ten and I had my first beer. The drunk
man says what Soberman feels or did? It's true. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: So the Sea Rats go through a revolving door of
interrogation and nobody believes it. And that's when we get
to Jess and Babs out on a date.
Speaker 2: I want to say this, that was his crew members,
because he's such a good guy, fun to be around.
That's them doing him a solid. Yeah, I think so
they covered their ass by, or at least Fraser and
Damo did by having him say it to Captain Carry
and then they squashed it within the interrogation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it looks like Kyle's gonna get pretty gross
next week blaming Fraser. But listen well and Anthony goes
hul Camnia starts throwing shit out of the place. But
Selene is drawing eyes while Babs and Jess are on
a date. Okay, Then Jess and Babs get back to
the Bow and they sleep in the same room as Selene,
just telling Celene then sleeping in the same room as
Selene babs you gotta be smarter than this. Do not
be used by this girl. Don't be used by this girl.
And it's crazy because I do think that Jess is
a sweetheart. But sometimes the the devils on our shoulders,
they just take the wheel and you just are not
in control.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying it's okay to engage in this behavior.
If you start doing this past twenty five, we got
a problem.
Speaker 1: You gott a little gotta go to the therapist.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's right, I gotta talk to some have some
fun though while you're in your twenties. Just don't hurt
too many people too much.
Speaker 1: Next day, next day, we wake to see if Kyle
is going to be terminated. Everyone I've spoken to is
full of shit or says that he's full of shit,
and Captain Carrey says, I can't fire the guy on
a hunch, so Kyle lives. And in the post credit scene,
we see a joker like smile scroll across the face
of Stilly again. What you.
Speaker 2: Take the out, dude, take the out distance distance right.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's like somebody inventing that they were on Jeffrey
Epstein's plane. I was on it? Were you on it?
Speaker 2: No? I was just kidding. I was fucking around, but
was I? But the stakes are way.
Speaker 1: Way lower, way lower. Patreon dot com Slash another podcast
network for traders and rock and love.
Speaker 2: I could do rock and love. Yeah, okay, hey you
know what you know? How you show Dylan Dyllion and
I that you you're into it? Sign up for Patreon now.
It's kind of the beginning of the month.
Speaker 1: I don't go do it now, Go do it now.
We love you guys. We'll be back next week. I'm
doing Say Goodbye Pat's Say Goodbye, dudes,