Speaker 1: You're watching Chewing the Cud with Mike Bennying Roe and
Speaker 1: Zoe Clegg.
Speaker 2: Oh no, it's a naked sock puppet. Oh hello, you're
Speaker 2: watching Chewing a Cud your weakly lighthearted look through a
Speaker 2: slightly glittery leidoscope. I'm Mike Benning Rowe and with me
Speaker 2: today we welcome a new friend, yes, a special friend,
Speaker 2: and that's Zoe Clegg.
Speaker 3: Hello.
Speaker 2: Hello, how are you doing?
Speaker 3: I'm all right, thank you?
Speaker 2: How are you? I'm okay. You made a comment before
Speaker 2: the show, so we started recording, which was about my
Speaker 2: outfit and what was that?
Speaker 3: Zoe's it's postman patche it's giving royal mail.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no one has to see my black and white pussy.
Speaker 2: But what have you got for us this week?
Speaker 3: I'm bringing your story about inspirational trans storyline before we
Speaker 3: play a game, and.
Speaker 2: That's before we get all up close and personal with
Speaker 2: Zoe and Spotlight. But on screen now you can see
Speaker 2: how contact details. It's at the Cud TV on your
Speaker 2: social media channels, and if you want to catch up
Speaker 2: with previous episodes, you can always give us a good
Speaker 2: binge on YouTube. Just look for Chewing the Cud.
Speaker 3: You can see the names of the people who've reached
Speaker 3: out and touched our souls, going along the bottom of
Speaker 3: the screen. And now it's time to get up to
Speaker 3: date on the things you may have missed from the
Speaker 3: news in the buzz.
Speaker 2: Did you ever go to university? Did what did you study? Oh?
Speaker 3: The delightful world of culinary arts?
Speaker 2: Food?
Speaker 4: Yeah, food, just at a lot, Yeah, at a lot.
Speaker 3: Made a point of drinking a lot to wash it down, obviously,
Speaker 3: hopefully exactly.
Speaker 2: You've got to make sure you lubricated. Of course as
Speaker 2: a student. Well, did you have to go into the
Speaker 2: library a lot?
Speaker 3: Oh, all the time?
Speaker 2: Okay, because Lipscomb University in Nash Film, which I love
Speaker 2: the names of the university Lipum, It's a bit of
Speaker 2: posh name for a pepper. They have had to basically
Speaker 2: stop people taking them books out as they were killing students.
Speaker 2: The books were killing killing students. Tell me more proof
Speaker 2: that education is bad for you.
Speaker 3: Don't read box kids.
Speaker 2: Yeah, poisonous. So it's books that are over one hundred
Speaker 2: years old, right, that had chemicals in the in the
Speaker 2: brightly colored like pages and stuff hallcinogenic ink moment, Well,
Speaker 2: what nick that was in the pages to make nice
Speaker 2: bright green colors.
Speaker 4: Yikes.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So the way that they've dealt with this is
Speaker 2: they contacted the CTC, which is the American.
Speaker 1: Health Disease Control Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: The people in America went, oh, COVID is quite bad
Speaker 2: in it. What do we do?
Speaker 3: What do we do?
Speaker 2: Let's the let's ask the president. Oh dear, they said,
Speaker 2: put them in ziplot bags will be fine.
Speaker 3: The solution to deadly chemicals ziplock and in university books
Speaker 3: which people are going to want to get out and
Speaker 3: read understandably, is zip block bags. Like, are we talking
Speaker 3: special books.
Speaker 2: No, we're talking zip because get down to us to
Speaker 2: get yourself a couple of hundred if you're right right. So, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's how they got around it. So now these books
Speaker 2: are in zip bags, they can't be withdrawn.
Speaker 3: It's completely unreadonable, unreadable, unreadable.
Speaker 2: While they look for solutions to fix the dyes and things,
Speaker 2: they said, just put them they'll be fine.
Speaker 3: Who knew, Like, we could have completely subverted COVID by
Speaker 3: just putting ourselves in bags this entire time.
Speaker 2: There's a problem with that, which is a lack of
Speaker 2: air in a zip lock bag. No, that doesn't so right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like, why did all these people die from COVID? No?
Speaker 2: Is it loot bags?
Speaker 3: Yeah, cod.
Speaker 2: That's how it happened. Well, let's move away from something
Speaker 2: quite scary as dangerous killer books to something slightly weird.
Speaker 4: We love something slightly weird.
Speaker 2: I'm going to ask a very personal question. First, do
Speaker 2: you the odrant? Yes?
Speaker 4: Claily?
Speaker 2: Do you believe that's a personal item?
Speaker 3: I would say so. I would say it's not something
Speaker 3: I would share with anyone and.
Speaker 2: Everyone, now, anyone, full stop, anyone. Now, Well, this is
Speaker 2: for a lady in America again, Americans who goes by
Speaker 2: the TikTok name of missus mom, missus mom, missus.
Speaker 3: Mom, the you know, formally single mom. Imagine that was
Speaker 3: quite a different life.
Speaker 2: Having read some of her posts, I don't think she
Speaker 2: would have had premarital.
Speaker 3: Getting a ring on it.
Speaker 2: One of the square States in the Middle kind of people,
Speaker 2: Ah wow, one of those who basically went on the
Speaker 2: Internet to ask a question to solve a marital dispute
Speaker 2: she was having, which was do you share the odran?
Speaker 3: Absolutely not? What a heinous crime, she.
Speaker 2: Didn't think so. She thought it was the most sensible
Speaker 2: thing in the world to do, which was have a
Speaker 2: family deodrant familiarald children, not just so, her husband, her son,
Speaker 2: and her daughter. Son and daughter are both teenagers. Ah,
Speaker 2: all were sharing the same deodrance.
Speaker 3: I hope it was it an air asolate least no
Speaker 3: all not all ones.
Speaker 2: We wasn't even a role. It was one of those sticky,
Speaker 2: gooey ones. So yeah. So her husband, who is quite
Speaker 2: in her suit gentleman, of course, he was saying, why
Speaker 2: do we have to share the ildren?
Speaker 3: You're sorry for reasonableinely reasonable?
Speaker 2: And she said because they're expensive. She buys the very
Speaker 2: expensive like ten dollars a go sort of thing. Sure, right,
Speaker 2: And she said that if we all share one, it
Speaker 2: means I don't have to buy as much children.
Speaker 4: But it will deplete four times.
Speaker 2: Quicker didn't care about that. It was in fact, she
Speaker 2: refused to spend more than ten dollar was a month
Speaker 2: and deodrant, so you all have to share? No, yeah,
Speaker 2: TikTok to plead her case and say to the world
Speaker 2: that's perfectly reasonable, isn't.
Speaker 3: It, Oh TikTok. What a wonderful, strange, strange place.
Speaker 2: When I first do you remember the woman that made
Speaker 2: a cup of tea by microwaving it?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that really took off as a here's the
Speaker 3: American way of making tea.
Speaker 2: Everybody, everybody, everybody whe had to have a cup of tea.
Speaker 2: I first thought it was going to be the same person.
Speaker 2: You just want to be hated.
Speaker 3: You are doing this on purpose, exactly. There is no
Speaker 3: way this is actually how you live your life.
Speaker 2: This is a fetish and you're getting off on it.
Speaker 3: You want the attention for whatever reason, and I'm just
Speaker 3: I can't give you that.
Speaker 2: No, But instead of giving attention, we featured it on
Speaker 2: the show. But if you wanted some attention on the
Speaker 2: show just because, why not, why not share it with us?
Speaker 2: We are at the Cood TV on social media and
Speaker 2: that brings us nicely to our story of the week.
Speaker 2: You are Pilly partnered. I am indeed, yes, with a
Speaker 2: wonderful person called Adam. Yes, indeed, I'm going to get
Speaker 2: a little bit person more personal now person sharing a
Speaker 2: stick of Antie's stench, which is sexy time. There's been
Speaker 2: a poll about when people have the most sexy time. Okay,
Speaker 2: when would you think the great unwashed public most have
Speaker 2: their quital interactions.
Speaker 3: It's got it's got to be a Friday or a
Speaker 3: Saturday night.
Speaker 2: Or you have to pick one. You can't say either.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go Friday night.
Speaker 2: Friday night. We're getting Christmas from the gallery tells you
Speaker 2: more about more about their relationship than just about anything else.
Speaker 2: They don't celebrate Christmas. That's why. So a recent poll
Speaker 2: has been given to the people intended of that during
Speaker 2: the week. The later you get in the week, the
Speaker 2: more rampant people get.
Speaker 3: Sure.
Speaker 2: So Monday weekend, oh god, yeah, no, nothing on a Monday.
Speaker 2: Nothing on a Monday, maybe a bit on a Tuesday,
Speaker 2: and you're on a Wednesday. Saturday is the day? Ah, right,
Speaker 2: so close thirty literally thirty four people. Thirty percent of
Speaker 2: people say they prefer their sexy time on a Saturday.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can get behind that.
Speaker 2: Now. Out of those thirty four people are massive eighty
Speaker 2: percent of those people. So just before ten past ten
Speaker 2: is the peak time.
Speaker 3: Just that's so specific.
Speaker 2: They drilled down further into the statistic and said it's
Speaker 2: nine minutes past ten is the exact time. So most
Speaker 2: people feel amorous at nine minutes past ten on a
Speaker 2: Saturday evening.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, that's usually by the point that the red
Speaker 3: wine has been sunk.
Speaker 1: And you've got boring and so watch you watch on Netflix.
Speaker 1: Well then you realize nothing after ten past ten, Yeah, realize.
Speaker 2: You live alone and no one will shag you. But
Speaker 2: I thought that was a fantastic statistic.
Speaker 3: That is great.
Speaker 4: That is what data researchers should be out there for.
Speaker 2: Exactly.
Speaker 3: They shouldn't be doing anything if any more value than that.
Speaker 3: That is the most valuable bit.
Speaker 2: Warn in four households could say fifty pounds on the
Speaker 2: electric bill by boor off, tell us when people.
Speaker 4: Are when are people shagging?
Speaker 2: Exactly? So, yeah, some people are saying it's the new
Speaker 2: hottest number. So it's hotter than sixty nine because it's
Speaker 2: ten o nine. I think that's pushing it. I thought
Speaker 2: that was pushing it.
Speaker 3: That's stop trying to make ten o nine happen exactly,
Speaker 3: it's not going to happen now.
Speaker 2: Out of all those people, right, it was mainly heterosexual couples. Okay, okay.
Speaker 2: Now I know for my own personal exhaustive research that
Speaker 2: most game men have sex on a Thursday evening, sure,
Speaker 2: or Friday morning.
Speaker 3: No, definitely, not on a Saturday at ten past ten.
Speaker 2: And because that's when all the gays are out clubbing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're just just leaving the house.
Speaker 2: At that point, getting the Third Battle of Wininging come on.
Speaker 2: So yeah, Thursday evening.
Speaker 3: Thursday evening. There's there been any research run into why
Speaker 3: that is.
Speaker 2: I have done a lot of research and it's just
Speaker 2: because that's why I have grinder open to be fair.
Speaker 4: Is there now on Telly on a Thursday? Is it
Speaker 4: not worth watching?
Speaker 2: Well, because all of the streaming services tend to do
Speaker 2: on Friday, don't They released.
Speaker 4: Friday, released for the weekend.
Speaker 3: So yeah, Thursday is the boring night where you've got
Speaker 3: to find entertainment elsewhere, and.
Speaker 2: Then Friday night, Lord of the Rings comes out.
Speaker 4: So you can't possibly be doing anything else.
Speaker 2: Because that's a fest all on its own. But that's
Speaker 2: all from the Bulls this week.
Speaker 3: Thanks Mike, And now I know when I should be
Speaker 3: scheduling Saxon with my partner.
Speaker 2: Looking at your watch quite exactly there, You're welcome, Zoey.
Speaker 2: Stay right there after this short break Becauzo. He brings
Speaker 2: up to date with the world of celebrity in showbiz.
Speaker 2: Welcome back, and you're watching Chewing the Cud. This is
Speaker 2: the part of the show where we look into the
Speaker 2: sparkly side of the world of celebrity and media in
Speaker 2: the show biz with Zoey.
Speaker 3: Do you remember do you remember? Probably remember Coronation Street,
Speaker 3: don't you?
Speaker 2: I think back to us the twenty first night of September.
Speaker 4: Always an option.
Speaker 2: I do remember Coronation Street.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that show from long ago that's clearly not still
Speaker 4: on the TV.
Speaker 2: No, is it still on the TV?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll watched it.
Speaker 4: Well, it's still on the TV.
Speaker 3: You know, I'm sure it's got it's not got the
Speaker 3: viewership that could has obviously.
Speaker 2: Literally got tens of viewers.
Speaker 3: No more than that, that couldn't possibly. Yeah, do you
Speaker 3: know who probably is still watching it?
Speaker 2: Though? I was going to say the Queen, but she's dead.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's why the viewerships.
Speaker 2: Yes, and Queen mom. Oh a really old reference. Enlighten me.
Speaker 3: Elliott Page, I'm sure still watches it because it was
Speaker 3: a show that he watched with his parents when he
Speaker 3: was younger.
Speaker 4: Oh, it was one of his mum's favorite shows.
Speaker 3: And when watching it as a youngster, they said that
Speaker 3: that was their first interaction with start with the trans
Speaker 3: community in public media. Haley Cropper.
Speaker 2: Ah, that's good because Hailey Cropper famously was the first
Speaker 2: trans representation on British TV in a soap opera.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like it absolutely must.
Speaker 2: I remember the outcry when it happened.
Speaker 3: I remember I remember watching the episode and being like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, this is really cool actually, because the
Speaker 3: only time I'd ever seen anything on the TV that
Speaker 3: was anything even remotely queer was Little Savage doing blankety
Speaker 3: blank and do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4: It was such niche stuff.
Speaker 3: So to see this just being played out in normal life,
Speaker 3: as normal as Courriers, because that has got to be
Speaker 3: the most active mental street in Manchester.
Speaker 2: You mean you haven't seen a tram crash through somebody's.
Speaker 3: Living room, do you know what? Not recently?
Speaker 2: Recently?
Speaker 4: Not recently?
Speaker 3: No, certainly, like Christmas is never that exciting EastEnders.
Speaker 4: Something is blowing up, something.
Speaker 2: Is catching fire, someone dies or comes back.
Speaker 3: Yeah, somebody died ten years ago and miraculously wanders back
Speaker 3: onto the street like nobody's business.
Speaker 4: And you're like, no, I don't think that's how that worked.
Speaker 2: I know that's the reference to Ben getting shot and
Speaker 2: what Yeah, got shot with a bunch of daffidils, Like
Speaker 2: I've been shot with the worst Flowers. I'm revenge. I'm
Speaker 2: revenging my death.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, we're absolutely not having that bither.
Speaker 2: Way I go out now waits Elliott Page watched watching
Speaker 2: it with his mom. That's cool.
Speaker 3: I love the fact that it's something that was very
Speaker 3: much on in my household when I as a kid,
Speaker 3: And to think where Elliott Page has gone on to be,
Speaker 3: I'm like, ah, we were watching the same shows as kids.
Speaker 4: That's a weirdly nice comforting thing.
Speaker 2: Why have they got the fame of the fortune. I
Speaker 2: watched Corey, I watched Hollyoaks I should be watching. I
Speaker 2: was punished.
Speaker 4: I had to sit through Hollyoaks.
Speaker 2: I was in Hollyoaks once. Yeah, I've got a clip
Speaker 2: around their for my mother because they used to film
Speaker 2: in Chester. And then I was caught in a Sayer's
Speaker 2: Sausage role, which I think before Greg's on the Rose
Speaker 2: and they filmed and.
Speaker 4: In the background saws. Yeah. Amazing.
Speaker 3: So we've got a story here about oh my Apollo,
Speaker 3: who is starring in a new and upcoming film called Queer,
Speaker 3: and during apparently throughout this film, he has several steamy
Speaker 3: sex scenes with Daniel Craig.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I need to go. Yeah, or we need to
Speaker 2: watch it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it needs to be out an hour ago for
Speaker 3: us to have watched it.
Speaker 2: My goodness, Now are they both naked?
Speaker 3: I hope so. I don't know who Omar Apollo is
Speaker 3: that person there. I had no idea who this person
Speaker 3: was before I looked into this store. Having now looked
Speaker 3: into this story, I will be booking the day off
Speaker 3: work the whole day Saturday, not quite from past ten.
Speaker 2: It's two hours two hour film watching.
Speaker 3: Also the last viewing of a right nice Saturday evening.
Speaker 2: Oh, don't have cour so quick? Do you know what
Speaker 2: the story is about?
Speaker 3: I believe that Daniel Craig is playing a gay man
Speaker 3: who is attempting to attract the affections of somebody who
Speaker 3: believes themselves to be straightened. Throughout this movie discovers that
Speaker 3: they are very much not straight. I didn't get any
Speaker 3: further into the plot than that because I just was
Speaker 3: really excited.
Speaker 2: About distracted by pictures.
Speaker 3: Didn't you fully got distracted by the pictures in the
Speaker 3: article I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: I also read upon this story and I got to
Speaker 2: the Queer and a movie with Daniel Craig and O Martin.
Speaker 2: Then sorry, of picture that's all I can remember.
Speaker 3: So I believe that Omar is going to be one
Speaker 3: of Craig's former lovers. Okay, so there will be lots
Speaker 3: of flashback sex scenes, flashing other back.
Speaker 4: It's usually the bit you're looking at.
Speaker 2: Right, don't do a lot of looking. What's your favorite film? Then?
Speaker 2: Obviously after after Queer.
Speaker 3: After Queer, not yet watched Soccer for mul Rouge. I
Speaker 3: can put that on it anytime, happy and sad or otherwise. Okay,
Speaker 3: it was a bit of a sad, sad film, A
Speaker 3: bit of a sad film.
Speaker 2: But prostitute dying before when she finds true love.
Speaker 3: Sure, but the songs are real fun A fun songs
Speaker 3: are real fun and uplifting, well most of them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what about you make what's your favorite movie?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 2: Oh, I have a slight problem because my favorite movie
Speaker 2: I have ever watched was Cruel Intentions. Okay, okay, with
Speaker 2: Sarah Michelle Geller, Sama Blair and Ryan Philip's bum.
Speaker 3: Bum nothing else, nothing else perceived during that film.
Speaker 2: You don't watch that film? Nope, there's there's a don't
Speaker 2: get Me film Ryan the Leaps Bomb.
Speaker 4: I see the appeal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and you know, knowing that that film came
Speaker 2: out a year or two ago. Young teenage Mike very
Speaker 2: enamored by that.
Speaker 3: But I can see why.
Speaker 2: Quote it's based off a book about the Sameless Thing,
Speaker 2: but it's in the seventeenth century France, so it's very
Speaker 2: really period period. But they said, friend Felip's bumming it.
Speaker 4: What else?
Speaker 3: What else could it possibly need?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 3: Final story I've got for us is Jojo Siwa. Okay,
Speaker 3: quite controversial. So at the point of looking this up,
Speaker 3: the story changed completely. So there were rumors spouted by
Speaker 3: Jojo Sewer herself, I believe.
Speaker 2: Okay, so not a rumor then, just publicist.
Speaker 4: Well, Jojo Sewer was spouting that.
Speaker 2: She spouting, well that sounds exactly what you think of her.
Speaker 3: That she was potentially going to be the next Eurovision
Speaker 3: entrant for Poland.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a weird one.
Speaker 3: So apparently Jojo Sewer has Polish heritage, Okay, and that
Speaker 3: therefore makes her potentially theoretically eligible to be Poland's entry
Speaker 3: into Eurovision.
Speaker 2: You can have anybody, So is this me.
Speaker 4: Not understanding your vision? Thinking it's like the Olympics where
Speaker 4: you've got to.
Speaker 2: At least before her. Not understanding it and saying, this
Speaker 2: is why I can do it. So we have friends
Speaker 2: of the show. Then Smith who got through to the
Speaker 2: finals for Sam And it's Scottish. Okay, yeah, it's no link.
Speaker 2: It's not the Olympics. What's probably got that very wrong.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because the way the way it sounded like she
Speaker 3: was describing it in the TikTok that she made believe
Speaker 3: it was a TikTok was that she has Polish heritage
Speaker 3: and therefore she was in talks with Poland. Okay, Poland,
Speaker 3: the country of whole of them in Poland on big
Speaker 3: group chat that what's up chat is hellish, I imagine
Speaker 3: to say that she was going to be their entrant
Speaker 3: for Eurovision.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: I checked up on this again last night and it'd
Speaker 3: been updated to say that Poland, against the country of
Speaker 3: in its entirety, had come out to say these talks
Speaker 3: are not happening.
Speaker 4: This is completely made up. Who is Jojo Sie? What
Speaker 4: are you talking about?
Speaker 2: Who is Jojo Sie? What? I hope that happened?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's me and Bellis.
Speaker 3: I just want the entire country of Poland to be
Speaker 3: turning and going, who is Jojo Siwa?
Speaker 2: Remember that one from the dance mom thing. Yeah oh no, no,
Speaker 2: so yeah, she's also wearing a very gay outfit because
Speaker 2: she's of course family.
Speaker 4: Of course she is one of us.
Speaker 2: Uh huh. Sadly we didn't get a receipt.
Speaker 3: Is one of us, don't we?
Speaker 2: We've got a claimer exactly. Question about Eurovision moments from you?
Speaker 2: Favorite one?
Speaker 3: I think it has to have been from the last one,
Speaker 3: purely because it was incredibly unhinged and I had no
Speaker 3: idea that it was coming at all.
Speaker 4: Windows ninety five.
Speaker 3: Man, they absolutely because absolutely not the thing I expected,
Speaker 3: you know, to see a man prancing about the stage
Speaker 3: with no trousers on, just barely covering his member absolutely
Speaker 3: had me in fits. I think I missed every performance
Speaker 3: after that because I just could not stop giggling at
Speaker 3: the idea of this man running along and somebody with
Speaker 3: a camera just placed right what a beautiful and busting
Speaker 3: out of an egg at the beginning?
Speaker 4: Too funny? Not too too funny? What was yours?
Speaker 2: I think probably my favorite Eurovision moment was again from
Speaker 2: last year, and that's when they were talking to some
Speaker 2: of the crowd and the grinder went off and who
Speaker 2: are you with? And we're here with my partner.
Speaker 3: No, I don't know what that noise is.
Speaker 2: I didn't watch any of the performances after that, going
Speaker 2: let's fight this person, change my location of grinder, Let's
Speaker 2: do it. Let's fight.
Speaker 3: Yes, of course I'm in Malmo.
Speaker 2: Where are you trying to get in his Malmo?
Speaker 3: And that's all from the show Busines this week.
Speaker 2: Thanks for that, Zoe always does to have a recollection
Speaker 2: of a gentleman going off in public. But stick around
Speaker 2: because coming up next we have a game to play
Speaker 2: and get him of the week. Welcome back to chewing
Speaker 2: the cud with me, Mike, Bernie Row. And then it's like,
Speaker 2: now this is the part of the show where're going
Speaker 2: to play a little game and a game called riddled,
Speaker 2: and this one is for our newest member to be
Speaker 2: the master of being riddled. So off your pop, okay,
Speaker 2: day of the week.
Speaker 3: In a game of riddles, we twist and we turn
Speaker 3: with questions so tricky your brain will burn, but with
Speaker 3: laughter and fun you solve the clues in this riddle game.
Speaker 4: It's me versus you. Mike, you ready for your first one?
Speaker 2: My brain will burn like my pea, or my brain
Speaker 2: will just burn.
Speaker 4: I mean, if you pease burning. I'm fairly sure there's
Speaker 4: a there's a cream for that.
Speaker 2: There's an I am on the antibiotics. It's fine, Yes, I'm.
Speaker 3: Ready, amazing. I'm not a blanket yet. I cover the
Speaker 3: ground a crystal from heaven. That doesn't make a sound.
Speaker 3: What am I on the ground?
Speaker 2: Blanket? Oh, Mike, cocaine?
Speaker 3: I mean, how much do you earn if you can
Speaker 3: afford a blanket the ground?
Speaker 2: With that? Oh? No, I was thinking more like Michael
Speaker 2: Jackson won he had held the baby blanket out of
Speaker 2: the bedroom window. He was quite clearly on something.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that would it's not the answer.
Speaker 3: I'm looking for.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, what's the answer.
Speaker 4: Then it's a snowflake.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I'd needed a name, gallery nickname for cocaine.
Speaker 2: Snow Yep, that's that's yes, that's what's this? He grasping
Speaker 2: at straws. Okay, let's have the next one, then it
Speaker 2: and do better.
Speaker 3: I'm sweet and cold with a stick to hold a
Speaker 3: tree on a hot day, worth more than gold. What
Speaker 3: am I? Mike?
Speaker 2: Quite clearly about penises?
Speaker 3: I mean, sure, how often is yours? Sweet and cold?
Speaker 2: Well, we don't think shame here you've.
Speaker 3: Been dangling it out of windows again, No, in the fridge.
Speaker 2: You find it in a petty flu It's your own problem,
Speaker 2: you know, Mike.
Speaker 3: Double buzzed, double bubble that before and correct.
Speaker 2: I'm ready for the next one when you are.
Speaker 4: This is a great one.
Speaker 2: What has a head but no brain penises?
Speaker 3: I mean I will accept that. Correct?
Speaker 2: What what was it? Actually it was a lettuce?
Speaker 3: So it's counterpart depending on what kind of relationship you're in, Mike.
Speaker 2: Former Prime Minister Liz Truss.
Speaker 4: Lasts longer. We know this to be true.
Speaker 2: No braines.
Speaker 4: It doesn't last as long as the letters either.
Speaker 2: But she didn't kill the queen, just saying yeah she
Speaker 2: did allegedly.
Speaker 4: Why do cats make good warriors?
Speaker 2: Why do cats make good warriors?
Speaker 1: Hm?
Speaker 2: Hmm, I think they did? They do?
Speaker 4: They do according to this riddle?
Speaker 2: Okay, why do cats make good warriors?
Speaker 4: I mean, I know puss is not your strong suit,
Speaker 4: but not really.
Speaker 3: Do you need a hint?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I do need a hint. I'm really struggling with
Speaker 2: that one.
Speaker 4: The number nine, Mike, because.
Speaker 2: If you send out sixty of them, there's a very
Speaker 2: lot of very pussy.
Speaker 4: No, I don't know, because they've got nine lives.
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean they're good warriors. That just means that
Speaker 2: they're easier to keep going after the bin.
Speaker 4: They've got longevity.
Speaker 2: I guess they can be shit at it.
Speaker 4: They could be shit at it, but they could just
Speaker 4: keep going.
Speaker 2: It's like what they done that lays just shut himself
Speaker 2: in the face while that's one of his lives gone.
Speaker 2: What he done that always lit some pointson another one gun.
Speaker 2: That's seven here exactly, And that's just assuming they started
Speaker 2: with nine kicked or putting a bin. Let's move on to.
Speaker 3: Who writes these things.
Speaker 2: I know who writes them, and I'm always preted by them.
Speaker 3: I have a neck, but no head is trust, I'm
Speaker 3: still willing to accept it.
Speaker 4: I have two arms but no hands.
Speaker 3: What am I? It's Liz Truss, but with two arms
Speaker 3: and no hands.
Speaker 2: It's Paralympian in it.
Speaker 4: Very apt.
Speaker 2: Right, a neck, no.
Speaker 3: Head, two arms but no hands. Mike teapot, I mean
Speaker 3: multi armed teapot. You might be onto something there because.
Speaker 2: If you're a bit shaky with one, you always put
Speaker 2: your finger under the spot, and it's hot under there.
Speaker 2: It is hot if you have two and you can
Speaker 2: pour forwards.
Speaker 3: Two handled teapot. It's not the answer I'm looking for.
Speaker 4: I'm afraid. Okay, it's a shirt.
Speaker 3: Neck but no head, two arms but no hands, like
Speaker 3: a very fetching red polo.
Speaker 2: I had an issue on the way to work. The
Speaker 2: people who watch the show know I have a joke
Speaker 2: called George, who is a sweetheart and also a dickhead. Right,
Speaker 2: and on the way to this shoe is say, he went,
Speaker 2: you know what, I like that shirt that you're going
Speaker 2: to wear to stay dad. Let's run it through the
Speaker 2: mud outside, give it a run through the garden for
Speaker 2: the garden. Brought it in tail wagon. Look what I've
Speaker 2: done for you. So I had to stop in at
Speaker 2: a clothing shop on the way here, and this was
Speaker 2: the only thing they had in my size.
Speaker 4: It wasn't green, very it's very royal, male.
Speaker 2: Very red. It was the post office I stopped into.
Speaker 2: There's a posty walking around going, why am I having
Speaker 2: to do this with me? Nips out. He must. Let's
Speaker 2: move on before I start shaming.
Speaker 4: Myself, Before you reveal another kink.
Speaker 3: Oh, no shaming, No, never any shame, no, never any shquestions.
Speaker 3: What word contains twenty six letters but only has three syllables. Mike.
Speaker 2: I've got you with this one because you've been a
Speaker 2: smart ass. It's alphabet.
Speaker 4: It is the alphabet. That's not even a.
Speaker 3: Riddle, that's just a question.
Speaker 2: But the thing is, alphabet doesn't the alphabet does?
Speaker 3: It must be the alphabet correct.
Speaker 2: Well, that's not four syllables. Then the alphabet for this
Speaker 2: question shoots wrong again. We need to shoot the producer.
Speaker 3: That's the only logical conclusion for it.
Speaker 2: We have to go from some old disappointment to murder
Speaker 2: in one easy step. That's the way. The one was one.
Speaker 3: What comes down but never goes up? And if it does,
Speaker 3: consult your doctor.
Speaker 2: The price of electric.
Speaker 4: It's always going up.
Speaker 2: I don't know the rain, that's but the rain does
Speaker 2: go up.
Speaker 3: It doesn't go up as rain does go up, but
Speaker 3: not as rain.
Speaker 2: Though the circle of life, it moves us.
Speaker 3: All the circle of water.
Speaker 4: GCS. He's coming in, real handy there.
Speaker 2: It brought you a little picture and everything.
Speaker 3: A little picture with a little arrows.
Speaker 2: Let's get one more.
Speaker 3: What five letter word typed in all capital letters can
Speaker 3: be read the same upside down? Mike. That is a
Speaker 3: fairly universal word, Mike, also universal, Mike, He's an old
Speaker 3: four letter word and fairly sure what five letter words?
Speaker 3: Letter words, Mike, five letter word typed in. All capital
Speaker 3: letters can be read the same upside down as right
Speaker 3: way up.
Speaker 2: Kayak, that's a palindrome.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's farwards backwards. We're looking for upside down.
Speaker 2: No, no idea.
Speaker 4: Uh, the answer is swims.
Speaker 3: Hyeah. Fascinating.
Speaker 2: Anyway, we've got anymore?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 4: Do you want more?
Speaker 2: Then?
Speaker 3: The more you take, the more you leave behind?
Speaker 4: What am I?
Speaker 3: Mike?
Speaker 2: Dignity?
Speaker 3: Acceptable?
Speaker 2: People take my dignity? The less I have behind, the
Speaker 2: more I take, the less I have behind.
Speaker 4: The more you take, the more you leave behind.
Speaker 2: Why are you.
Speaker 4: Taking people's poop?
Speaker 2: I don't know what's the answer.
Speaker 3: Footsteps.
Speaker 4: The more footsteps you take, the more tapes you leave.
Speaker 2: Behind, the more every movie you make, every word you break,
Speaker 2: every bond you break even I'll be watching you, and
Speaker 2: that's why I have a police injunction. But stay around.
Speaker 2: Coming up next after this short break, we're going to
Speaker 2: ask Zoe some lovely little questions in Spotlight. Welcome back.
Speaker 2: You're still watching Mike and Zoe and chewing the cud,
Speaker 2: And now we're going to ask all manner of things
Speaker 2: of personal situation in Spotlight with Zoe. But it needs
Speaker 2: till Ley batteries, like lots of them. That's expensive. So yeah,
Speaker 2: we're here to ask you some questions from the wonderful
Speaker 2: at the Jar of Joy.
Speaker 4: It is rather spangling, it's very it's very special.
Speaker 2: I've got some sort of staying on the top delicious.
Speaker 2: But before we do, I just thought i'd asked you
Speaker 2: get to know you a little bit better about you. Okay, okay,
Speaker 2: we have some general questions, just to understand what makes
Speaker 2: you take because of course you've been on the show before.
Speaker 2: I have because you came to talk about a D
Speaker 2: and D d D. So I have to say it
Speaker 2: because it it repulses me and repulse everybody. Look, what's
Speaker 2: the reason why I'm single? This is it? So, yeah,
Speaker 2: you've been on the show before as a guest. I
Speaker 2: have talking about the Grim North.
Speaker 4: Which is a d D thing, very exciting.
Speaker 2: Tell us something else about you though.
Speaker 3: I've recently gotten into kroche, which is really riveting and exciting.
Speaker 2: I have an interesting fact about crochet. You do in France,
Speaker 2: it's called hooking.
Speaker 4: It's called hooking.
Speaker 3: So so someone in France who crochet is maybe known
Speaker 3: as a hooker exactly how exciting.
Speaker 2: I only knew that because when I went to France,
Speaker 2: I was young and the movie Hook came out, sure,
Speaker 2: and it was Captain Crochet.
Speaker 3: It was not what it was.
Speaker 2: In France, Captain Hook. In France it is called Captain Crochet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, stand back, I'll make you a blanket.
Speaker 2: Like you're ready for a doily.
Speaker 3: You'd be amazed at the speed at which I can
Speaker 3: bang out coasters.
Speaker 2: So croceet means hooking. Yeah, you're a hooker, okay, okay,
Speaker 2: So d n D crochet?
Speaker 4: I am secret?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I am secretly an old lady like
Speaker 3: I like well.
Speaker 2: It's much like the.
Speaker 4: I like my I like my board games, I like
Speaker 4: my crochet.
Speaker 3: I have a cat at home and would gladly have
Speaker 3: another six called She's called Gizelle, okay, which was not
Speaker 3: the name I gave her.
Speaker 4: That was the name that the Charla.
Speaker 3: Had given her when we adopted her. She wandered in,
Speaker 3: screaming her head off, requiring medical attention. Just wandered in
Speaker 3: off the street and was like, help me.
Speaker 2: So you've got a drug addict.
Speaker 3: Cat, I need drugs, she wondered, and they were like, well,
Speaker 3: we've decided you're called gazelle.
Speaker 4: That's great.
Speaker 3: About a fortnight later I went and adopted her, and
Speaker 3: now roughly annually it's probably coming up for that time year. Actually,
Speaker 3: she gives us some kind of health scare, which usually
Speaker 3: requires taking her to the vet where they go she's
Speaker 3: being dramatic. Have some painkillers for her. So she is,
Speaker 3: she's a little drug addict. You fully predicted my story.
Speaker 2: Okay again, because mister's got a cat that he's stolen
Speaker 2: from his neighbors.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not his cat, stolen cat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that stolen cat. Okay, that's fine, of course. Let's
Speaker 2: get into some some questions from the jar of joy.
Speaker 4: Then what's the jar of joy I got for us?
Speaker 2: Okay, so these tend to be either or either or questions. Okay,
Speaker 2: would you rather have one nipple or two belly buttons?
Speaker 2: See insightful deep questions journalism?
Speaker 4: Are two belly buttons double? The fluff double?
Speaker 3: I don't get a lot of fluff in my existing one,
Speaker 3: so but the second one, mate.
Speaker 2: However, what you get you getting done?
Speaker 4: I'm going to get double to be fair.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I've always thought that one nipple would be nice,
Speaker 2: but be lobsided walk in circles.
Speaker 3: Well, that would be the thing. It would it be
Speaker 3: one nipple bang in the middle or is it just
Speaker 3: like one on one boob, one on one boob. That
Speaker 3: would be odd You would be odd on lop sided,
Speaker 3: whereas too, I think, would balance you out with the
Speaker 3: existing amount of nipples.
Speaker 4: You could then have a line belly.
Speaker 2: Buttons, but it doesn't say the belly button could be
Speaker 2: somewhere different.
Speaker 1: It could be one on the front, one on the
Speaker 1: back exactly, or one on the side, one on the side.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Well, next question, what else they gat Would
Speaker 2: you rather have a flying carpet or a car that
Speaker 2: can drive underwater? Oh?
Speaker 1: Flying carpet or cars can drive underwater once? Maybe not
Speaker 1: very far they can.
Speaker 4: Now the thought of.
Speaker 3: What is in the ocean is absolutely terrifying to me.
Speaker 3: Eighty five percent of the ocean is undiscovered. We don't
Speaker 3: know what's in it. I ain't taken my car down there.
Speaker 3: I've got no desire to be under the water whatsoever,
Speaker 3: especially not in a car. We all know what happened
Speaker 3: in Ocean Gate. It's bound to happen. Oh, it was
Speaker 3: the billionaires who got in a tiny, little capsule submarine.
Speaker 2: Oh, the one, and that was controlled with real Titanic.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they went to see the Titanic.
Speaker 3: Controlled by the terrible wireless controller, which where they got
Speaker 3: so far away and it connected and they all Sangkanic
Speaker 3: was a tragedy because people died.
Speaker 4: That is sad no matter what. But there's now more
Speaker 4: people can plan.
Speaker 3: For doing that.
Speaker 4: I'm sure there are more expected expeditions planned.
Speaker 2: I just now have this image of I've mentally drawn
Speaker 2: a graph of people that died in the Titanic nineteen
Speaker 2: twelve high quite a spike, not much, not much, not much.
Speaker 3: Twenty it was the last two two.
Speaker 2: Okay, so we've also found out that you're on my wavelength.
Speaker 2: That's not good for you. Would you rather have everything
Speaker 2: you do live streamed for the world to see, right,
Speaker 2: or whatever you were thinking about appear in a bubble
Speaker 2: above your head.
Speaker 3: Oh, I think the second one's much more entertaining. I'd
Speaker 3: be arrested, Yeah, it probably wouldn't be for long. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I'd probably end up in a nice white jacket with
Speaker 3: really really long sleeves that go around the back. Oh.
Speaker 2: No, I wouldn't end up with one of those. It's
Speaker 2: just people going, I can't, it's indecent. I didn't know
Speaker 2: Chris Henworth could move that way from Oh okay, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna have to ask you about celebrity crush crushes while
Speaker 2: you get your your hand out. So who's the celebrity?
Speaker 3: So I've kind of consistently had the piss taken out
Speaker 3: of me for this, But my celebrity crush is Darren Brown,
Speaker 3: who is a gay man?
Speaker 2: Darren Brown, Darren Brown, costly, I'm thinking of the right
Speaker 2: person when you're saying Darren Brown, Am I thinking that.
Speaker 4: The magiciany psychic?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that one, Darren Brown.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know that's a weird one.
Speaker 2: It's not if it's what what you go, Yes, that's
Speaker 2: perfectly fine. Not michaeup of tea. You should ask that
Speaker 2: question before you.
Speaker 3: I'm going to ask this question before I say something
Speaker 3: else more silly than that. Would I rather breathe ice
Speaker 3: or breathe fire? I feel like fire is going to
Speaker 3: be way more inconvenient. Like, imagine you've got the flu
Speaker 3: or a cough or a cold or something like that.
Speaker 4: Warm you would be boiling all the time, and.
Speaker 3: You know you sneez in the middle of a supermarket.
Speaker 3: I imagine that's probably akin to how a breath weapon works.
Speaker 3: You sneeze in the middle of the supermarket. You're going to
Speaker 3: put Asda under.
Speaker 2: Do I get to choose who's in front of.
Speaker 3: Me generally in life? Yeah, you can generally pick who's
Speaker 3: in front of you in life.
Speaker 2: Because there's one woman at Asda that she's always there,
Speaker 2: and she's always in my way.
Speaker 3: It's just actually staff or is it just you go
Speaker 3: at the same time everywhere?
Speaker 2: No matter when I go, she's always.
Speaker 3: I need to start running experiments on this. You need
Speaker 3: to start going at obscene times in the day.
Speaker 2: I have been to Asda at three in the morning.
Speaker 2: That's when I got before Christmas. I got three morning
Speaker 2: where el there's a bed. She's there, She's always.
Speaker 4: Is she a real person?
Speaker 2: Way, She's one of these people that's put leaves a
Speaker 2: trolley in the middle at an angle and then goes
Speaker 2: and then goes to the next Take it with.
Speaker 4: You, that's the point of the trolley. Take it with you.
Speaker 2: Take it with you.
Speaker 4: Don't be a terrible person.
Speaker 3: Yeah, crazy lady.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a mortal enemy, and it's a random one.
Speaker 2: I don't know the name of it.
Speaker 3: I don't care.
Speaker 2: Anyway.
Speaker 3: I like fire for you, whereas I'm thinking, I I
Speaker 3: can chill drinks really easy, and that'd be a fun
Speaker 3: party trick.
Speaker 2: It would, but only if you like to chill drinks.
Speaker 2: So it's only useful for like the hot months three
Speaker 2: weeks in June, people come till a drink.
Speaker 3: But do you want to be really breathing fire in
Speaker 3: the winter months, potentially inside your house? The insurance claims
Speaker 3: are only going to pay out. The insurance companies are
Speaker 3: only going to pay out so many times before they
Speaker 3: start saying, I think you're doing this on purpose.
Speaker 2: Breathe fire on them as well, So I think you're
Speaker 2: doing this on purpose.
Speaker 3: Good for you and.
Speaker 2: A bad breath? Would you get though burning breath? Would
Speaker 2: you rather be a clumsy ninja or a wizard with amnesia?
Speaker 4: Oh, wizard with amnesia.
Speaker 3: I forget everything all the time anyway, So that's just
Speaker 3: giving me magic powers in the way that I exist currently.
Speaker 2: But you'd forget you had magic powers.
Speaker 3: That's always going to be fun. Then figuring out I've
Speaker 3: got a minute not.
Speaker 2: Really well, that could go horribly horribly.
Speaker 4: Oh no, I've turned my kettle into a frog.
Speaker 3: How have I done that. I'm just insane. I forgot
Speaker 3: I'm magic. I just think I've lost my mind, Like.
Speaker 2: Why are all these frogs in the Houseide, don't I
Speaker 2: don't know very specific changing these into a frog.
Speaker 3: I feel like that's a very witchy wizard thing.
Speaker 4: Today. It's always I shall turn you into a toad
Speaker 4: or a frog.
Speaker 2: Okay, nice, Okay, Well, I think we've got to know
Speaker 2: you very well so that the next time you come
Speaker 2: on it'll make more sense. Okay, yeah, so thanks for that.
Speaker 3: Sorry, you're very welcome. That's almost the end of the
Speaker 3: show for now, but on screen you can see our
Speaker 3: contact details. It's at the cud TV on your social media,
Speaker 3: and if you want to catch up with previous episodes,
Speaker 3: you can always.
Speaker 4: Bringe a lot on YouTube. Look for Cheering the CUD.
Speaker 2: Thank you for watching. I will see you sometime soon.
Speaker 2: Bye bye.