Speaker 1: Baby, you are my game statue.
Speaker 2: It takes at a tangle you.
Speaker 3: Mess with me, Mess with Me by Gangstato.
Speaker 2: Ohuch, baby game statoo.
Speaker 4: For good warning, this podcast is designed to take you
Speaker 4: outside of your comfort zone and make you question reality.
Speaker 5: Listener discretion is a vibe, fellas, this ain't my first
Speaker 5: time at the rodeos.
Speaker 2: Hi and welcome back to another episode of Deplorable Nation.
Speaker 2: I'm your host, Deplorable Janet, and today I want to
Speaker 2: say welcome to this episode because it is a Uber
Speaker 2: special Ladies round Table and it is entitled a Little
Speaker 2: Inspiration because all of us need inspiration at times. There
Speaker 2: are always things that we struggle with in our day
Speaker 2: to day life, and sometimes we forget that somebody else
Speaker 2: may have been there, may have had the same feelings
Speaker 2: or thoughts or emotions going on at the time. So
Speaker 2: I'm super excited about this episode today and we are
Speaker 2: going to break down some Bible verses for you guys
Speaker 2: today and why they are important to each phase of
Speaker 2: our life and why it resonates with us. So, without
Speaker 2: further ado, welcome back, Miss Heidi. How are you good?
Speaker 4: I'm happy always to be here and especially with the
Speaker 4: ladies and I love all of you, so thank you
Speaker 4: so much for inviting me.
Speaker 2: And stoked to have all of you beautiful ladies on
Speaker 2: so welcome mess Tamera, how are you, my dear fine Mischiana.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
Speaker 6: And that's how I know everybody is through you. That's
Speaker 6: why Julia and Heidi and then did deep dives on
Speaker 6: both of them, oh my goodness with their channels, and uh,
Speaker 6: I have so much respect for everybody, but I can't
Speaker 6: imagine what you've been through.
Speaker 3: So with the p s O c or P s.
Speaker 1: O c os p c O s.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm with your whole background and your upbringing and everything,
Speaker 6: and Janet with your origins stories, with troubles, grascia. So
Speaker 6: I'm I mean, I was much to offer, but I'm
Speaker 6: just learning so much from you guys, and I'm inspired
Speaker 6: beyond words from every single one of you.
Speaker 2: Everybody.
Speaker 4: You, sweetie, I think you have not not less offer.
Speaker 4: Like my husband grew up in beaver Cleavertown, but here's
Speaker 4: the thing. You you have a perspective, like really, he
Speaker 4: always says, like your family, I just and I'm like,
Speaker 4: I know, I know, I know, and he's like, I
Speaker 4: just can't imagine and I'm like, listen, it doesn't have
Speaker 4: to be the same for all of us to be inspiring.
Speaker 2: So you're social, right, And I love this panel because
Speaker 2: everybody is a super strong, independent, intelligent woman and I
Speaker 2: love that, and I love that none of us are
Speaker 2: afraid to use our voices.
Speaker 1: So right, the estrogen in this room is radiata.
Speaker 5: Well me and Julia. Me and Julia have pcos, so
Speaker 5: we have less estrogen.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I guess you. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 6: I was just surprised that it's been how long without
Speaker 6: the F bomb from Julia, So yeah, see.
Speaker 1: I make an effort when I come on Janish that's
Speaker 1: not true. I may if we're talking about Jesus. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to limit the F bombs.
Speaker 7: I have about to say f I thought somebody say
Speaker 7: that on my podcast the review at the bottom, and
Speaker 7: I said, listen, everybody has the right to free speech.
Speaker 1: I literally told you just the word people.
Speaker 2: But you know the beautiful thing about that is we
Speaker 2: are all still in the process of being sanctified. So
Speaker 2: if you cuss, you're not going to stop cussing absolutely
Speaker 2: one overnight. It takes time. It's just like you know,
Speaker 2: yesterday you are a bad person today. You're not going
Speaker 2: to be one hundred percent good and not make mistakes
Speaker 2: the learning all of us.
Speaker 4: It doesn't say anything about not cussing in the Bible.
Speaker 4: It only talks about taking the Lord's name in vain
Speaker 4: and like being a liar. And so I feel like
Speaker 4: it's up for game. I'm not giving it up today, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Record, I was just really impressed.
Speaker 1: I was just you know, yeah, you know, And you
Speaker 1: don't think it hasn't popped up in my mind like
Speaker 1: eight times, and I've just silenced them because I'm I'm
Speaker 1: trying for the Lord, you guys.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So, last but not laced. Welcome back to the show,
Speaker 2: miss Julia. How are you.
Speaker 1: I'm so thrilled to be here, Janet, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: And I've got a ton of notes and actually I
Speaker 1: put some stuff in my notes that hopefully we'll kind
Speaker 1: of switch it up a little bit. Because I grew
Speaker 1: up and I feel fortunate that I grew up in
Speaker 1: the time when they started making like a lot of
Speaker 1: movies and stuff, like Christian movies geared towards kids, and
Speaker 1: a lot of this stuff I learned as a kid
Speaker 1: came from like those kids movies, and so I have
Speaker 1: a little bit of stuff in there about that. But
Speaker 1: I'm a nineties kid obviously, That's why I made the
Speaker 1: nineties series. But there was some stuff like veggietails. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I grew up with that, and I think that
Speaker 1: I don't even know if they do veggietails anymore. I
Speaker 1: don't even know if that's a thing, if they.
Speaker 2: I've actually seen veggie tails in person, did you really?
Speaker 4: I did?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Was it vegetaries?
Speaker 2: My parents own like timeshare stuff or whatever. And we
Speaker 2: were in Branson one time and the veggie Tails actually
Speaker 2: were performing there, So that's amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so pop Show.
Speaker 2: It wasn't for me, it was for my daughter. Well
Speaker 2: I liked it too, But you know, I like Larry
Speaker 2: the Cucumber. I think he's one of me too.
Speaker 1: I like the Tomato.
Speaker 5: We were a.
Speaker 3: Remember Wiggles era.
Speaker 1: I was part of the Wiggles era too.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yep, hot potato, hot potato, mm hmmm, salad.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that's horrible. It gets stuck in your head.
Speaker 6: And if I could tell you about Julia, we are
Speaker 6: so happy that you are happy.
Speaker 2: We are incredible, thank you, absolute.
Speaker 3: And the challenges from previous relationships.
Speaker 1: And I actually got a scripture in there, uh that
Speaker 1: I'm saving til the end about that because I feel
Speaker 1: like this this last year has been probably one of
Speaker 1: the most interesting years of my entire life, and uh
Speaker 1: it's and then when Janet texted me about this episode,
Speaker 1: that was the first thing that popped into my mind.
Speaker 1: So I'm saving it for the end, but I'm excited
Speaker 1: to get into it. I think this is going to
Speaker 1: be great.
Speaker 2: I love this. So I don't know how you guys
Speaker 2: want to start this, but like Teresa was originally going
Speaker 2: to come on, and her suggestion was to move through
Speaker 2: like phases of your life and what has stuck out
Speaker 2: to you verse wise for each time of your life,
Speaker 2: and you know how that's affected you. So one thing
Speaker 2: that I'm gonna say, and this is my start off.
Speaker 2: So this may start a we tad dark, okay for
Speaker 2: me personally, but there's a very specific reason why I
Speaker 2: chose this verse. It is Psalms twenty seventy ten, and
Speaker 2: it says, though my father and mother forsake me, the
Speaker 2: Lord will receive me. So this is speaking directly to
Speaker 2: me and to a lot of other people that I
Speaker 2: know went through the same situation where your parents didn't
Speaker 2: show love to you, they didn't show affection to you.
Speaker 2: In my case, I was the child that basically wasn't
Speaker 2: favored in any way, shape or form. So I know
Speaker 2: there's a lot of people out there that can identify
Speaker 2: with this verse. But take this and learn from this verse,
Speaker 2: because even though people like your parents, your spouse, whatever
Speaker 2: it is in your life doesn't work out, God has
Speaker 2: a better plan for you. He's always going to have
Speaker 2: your back, He's always going to be there for you,
Speaker 2: and if you ask him, he will provide you better
Speaker 2: things and different people to fill those roles that are
Speaker 2: missing from your life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred, even if you feel like you're in
Speaker 1: dire streets at the time, which I know it can
Speaker 1: feel like that, especially as a kid, because you know
Speaker 1: it's pretty bleak as a child trying to figure out
Speaker 1: why your relationships with your own parents sucks so bad.
Speaker 5: But I do.
Speaker 1: I love that scripture, Janet. That's a really good one.
Speaker 1: I have a similar one, but I didn't find it
Speaker 1: until I was I put it in my teenage category
Speaker 1: and I'll bring it up later. But I love that one.
Speaker 1: I had totally forgotten about that one is a good one.
Speaker 2: Anybody else have one for childhood?
Speaker 6: I have a silly sorry, Heidi, Oh you're good, silly
Speaker 6: one for childhood. When we were little, every Christmas, my
Speaker 6: grandfather would is there any way I can do.
Speaker 3: A screen share? Janet? So?
Speaker 6: And then every Christmas he would do a special he
Speaker 6: would do a special reciting of oops of the uh
Speaker 6: shepherds and the angels and so oh, I don't know,
Speaker 6: I don't know how to get out of this, but
Speaker 6: when he would, he would he would sing it the
Speaker 6: entire thing. He rememberized it at childhood, and then when
Speaker 6: when he was little, and he would My brother was
Speaker 6: about two years younger than I was, and my grandfather
Speaker 6: would say the part and he would say and they
Speaker 6: were sore afraid, and we.
Speaker 3: Would laugh and laugh and laught. We thought he was
Speaker 3: making it up.
Speaker 6: And so now he's when he was one hundred years old,
Speaker 6: can you guys hear me? When he was one hundred
Speaker 6: years old, he could still recite it from memory. Just
Speaker 6: absolutely amazing. And so we went to visit him on
Speaker 6: his hundreth birthday and so for me he did a
Speaker 6: video recording of this and it's just a tiny little
Speaker 6: bit the part that is in blue.
Speaker 3: Can you see the screen? Okay?
Speaker 6: And then he would say so afraid. My brother and
Speaker 6: I would crack up laughing. And he did that while
Speaker 6: we were growing up, so it was just a really cute.
Speaker 3: And they were.
Speaker 1: Laughed.
Speaker 5: That's so cute.
Speaker 2: I love that, though, I did you make that up?
Speaker 1: Sore afraid?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's Bible, and that's I thought. We thought he
Speaker 3: made it up when we were little.
Speaker 6: We thought it was the funniest thing in the whole
Speaker 6: world because it recite the whole thing and it gets
Speaker 6: a sore afraid.
Speaker 3: We're like, oh, that's like. I didn't realize it.
Speaker 6: Honestly, I did not realize it was in the Bible
Speaker 6: until we were older. And then so when he was
Speaker 6: a hundred, he did that, and I just thought it
Speaker 6: was cute, so cute.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's a good living right there, So Miss Heidi,
Speaker 2: how about you?
Speaker 4: Yes, I always think of Psalms in general. I I
Speaker 4: kind of looked at this with books and sometimes I'll
Speaker 4: probably just throw books out there, but in general one
Speaker 4: eighteen six of the Psalms, the Lord is on my side.
Speaker 4: I will not fear what can man do to me?
Speaker 4: And I'm like that that to me always spoke out
Speaker 4: volumes because a lot of times I was on my
Speaker 4: own in some precarious situations as a kid, and I
Speaker 4: was afraid a lot. Like what kid isn't afraid, you know?
Speaker 4: But also I had my little brother, and so I
Speaker 4: think I needed to be stronger and help him, you know,
Speaker 4: and not be afraid. So that one always kind of
Speaker 4: helped me do that, I guess.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's a good one I did.
Speaker 5: I'm lame.
Speaker 1: I didn't put any specific scripture because childhood, like I said,
Speaker 1: growing up in the nineties, I put down VeggieTales, learned
Speaker 1: lots of good stuff from vegetails, and.
Speaker 2: We love that.
Speaker 1: I put here's a good conspiracy one for you ladies.
Speaker 1: The Prince of Egypt came out when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: and it's a DreamWorks production, and I learned from Colby
Speaker 1: last night that that's a Stephens Spielberg project, So I mean,
Speaker 1: take it with a grain of salt. But I remember
Speaker 1: watching The Prince of Egypt. Obviously it's the Moses story,
Speaker 1: and I had the whole movie soundtrack memorized and on
Speaker 1: my phone, and I just remember, maybe all kids are
Speaker 1: like this, and they just have like a heart for
Speaker 1: the Lord. But when I watched it, I was like, mom,
Speaker 1: did that really happen? And like she put her baby
Speaker 1: in this basket and like it went through all the
Speaker 1: and it got and they raised him as like an
Speaker 1: Egyptian and then he came back. You know, obviously the
Speaker 1: Moses story, but when you watch it as a kid,
Speaker 1: and they cartoonized the whole thing, it was like, this
Speaker 1: is epic. There's no way this could have really happened.
Speaker 1: It's so crazy, And I was obsessed with it for
Speaker 1: like the longest And then they followed it up with
Speaker 1: this movie called Joseph King of Dreams. I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: that was DreamWorks too, but it's about the code of
Speaker 1: Many Color, and that one I even got obsessed with
Speaker 1: because I was like, oh my god, you know, and
Speaker 1: they put him in the dungeon for how long twenty
Speaker 1: years or something like that, and he ended up being
Speaker 1: able to interpret all these dreams for the Pharaoh, and
Speaker 1: oh my goodness, I was ubsessed. And like, as a kid,
Speaker 1: it's easy to get into that stuff when they make
Speaker 1: it for kids, you know, and they put songs and
Speaker 1: dances and stuff in it. But I just remember the
Speaker 1: story about Joseph was just otherworldly almost because you hear
Speaker 1: about stuff like that, like someone interpreting dreams and you
Speaker 1: know whatever. It's almost like you would say it was
Speaker 1: a cult now because every.
Speaker 2: Thinking the exact same thing.
Speaker 8: People now would be like, oh, you should shy away
Speaker 8: from that, like anything that right, Like it's basically somebody
Speaker 8: being a visionary and having like medium powers and things
Speaker 8: like that. And I got attacked nine ways from Sunday
Speaker 8: the other day from an episode that I did, like
Speaker 8: I don't know, three years ago, oh, with a medium,
Speaker 8: and I was you know, it was like, oh, you
Speaker 8: should stay away from people like that, and they're gonna like,
Speaker 8: you know whatever.
Speaker 1: It was it a female medium, Yes? Was it Whitney?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really like her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it wasn't It wasn't like seeking counsel of
Speaker 2: or anything like that. I just love hearing people's stories
Speaker 2: and how trauma led to this kind of thing, because
Speaker 2: the thing that people miss is that organized religion is
Speaker 2: who tells you that all of these things are terrible, right,
Speaker 2: and and you know, uh, crystals and all of that stuff,
Speaker 2: and it's woo woo. But all throughout the Bible there
Speaker 2: are stories like everywhere where people have these specific special gifts,
Speaker 2: you know, and that yeah, there God given gifts and
Speaker 2: so to me, like being able to interpret dreams, that
Speaker 2: is a form of prophecy.
Speaker 1: Me too, I think so too, as long as you.
Speaker 4: Like, when I was going through my life and trying
Speaker 4: to rid myself of things that might be Mormon associated, demonic, whatever,
Speaker 4: somebody gave me some good advice. They said, renounce everything
Speaker 4: in God's name, and if it remains it's yours, it's
Speaker 4: a blessing, right like, because then you've done that, You've
Speaker 4: been willing to give it back. You're willing to say
Speaker 4: if this isn't mine naturally from you, then okay, but
Speaker 4: like if it stays, then it's yours.
Speaker 5: I mean they talk about people like this all over
Speaker 5: the Bible, so you.
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, no, And that's that's why I think, because
Speaker 1: like I get it the Steven Spielberg thing. And they
Speaker 1: put these two movies out right, Prince of Egypt and
Speaker 1: King of Dreams, but both of them were pretty accurate
Speaker 1: in like how they told the story of both of them.
Speaker 1: And I just remember watching the one about Joseph thinking
Speaker 1: like he was almost kind of like a magical person
Speaker 1: and being able to like interpret these dreams and predict
Speaker 1: the future. And he saw like the famine coming and
Speaker 1: he was able to save his family who freaking tossed
Speaker 1: him out, And what of what a story? It just
Speaker 1: is still to me one of the more interesting stories
Speaker 1: from the Bible.
Speaker 5: I get it.
Speaker 1: Like if your mom made your brother a coat of
Speaker 1: many colors and you got some potato sacked to wear,
Speaker 1: I'm jealous too, Okay, I'll be jealous, but don't murder
Speaker 1: or try to get him murdered, like that's crazy. Just
Speaker 1: steal the coat, just good old fashioned. How about how
Speaker 1: you wear the code on Tuesdays? I wear the code
Speaker 1: on Wednesdays?
Speaker 5: You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Did it have to go to that level?
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 1: But anyways, from childhood, I was really into those those
Speaker 1: veggietails and Prince of Egypt and King of James, those
Speaker 1: ones were the ones that stuck out to me. I
Speaker 1: still watch them like an idiot. Like, see, watching cartoons.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter, like how we learn scripture as long as
Speaker 2: we're learning right. So it can be through a movie,
Speaker 2: it can be through you know, daily ratings or and
Speaker 2: I've mentioned this so many times before there are apps
Speaker 2: that you can get for your phone that will give
Speaker 2: you like a daily Bible verse or whatever, and more
Speaker 2: times than not, whatever verse pops up is something that
Speaker 2: you need to hear for that day. I was seriously
Speaker 2: and then you're like, oh, okay, well yeah that makes
Speaker 2: a little sense. And that was for me, that was
Speaker 2: directed for me, So yeah, there.
Speaker 6: Was Yeah with Julia's thing, also with the with the
Speaker 6: Moses story, the love of a mother to do that
Speaker 6: for for for a child, I.
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, I know. That's why I say, because okay, okay,
Speaker 1: they make so many cartoons and so many like Marvel
Speaker 1: and all these action movies and whatever, and somebody's making
Speaker 1: this stuff up. They lay out the storyline and people
Speaker 1: watching and they're like, oh my god, that's the craziest
Speaker 1: thing I've ever seen. They should make more movies like
Speaker 1: that from Bible stories because they're legit. The craziest plot
Speaker 1: twists like you never saw it coming, like unconditional love,
Speaker 1: like craziness, like putting your baby in a basket and
Speaker 1: sending it down a river and just being like fingers crossed,
Speaker 1: God got me, like and this baby's gonna get there
Speaker 1: and be raised as a Prince of Egypt, Like that's crazy.
Speaker 1: Somebody needs to make a movie like that, you know,
Speaker 1: and they'd make one with like Christian Bale like no,
Speaker 1: but please, nobody watched that one.
Speaker 5: That was terrible.
Speaker 2: I want to say one of the other things that
Speaker 2: that was impactful for me that that came out, like
Speaker 2: movie Wise, show Wise or whatever, was the Chosen. If
Speaker 2: people have not watched that, you literally need to watch
Speaker 2: The Chosen because a lot of times nowadays, people that
Speaker 2: have hang ups, you know, whether it's they did all
Speaker 2: these bad things in their past, you know, they they drink,
Speaker 2: they were addicted to or whatever the case may be, right,
Speaker 2: and they always think that they're not worthy. So did
Speaker 2: the apostles? You know, you doubt your faith? So did
Speaker 2: the Apostles? Like all of that stuff is in there,
Speaker 2: and like how can God loved me because I'm a
Speaker 2: sinner and I did you know these these terrible things.
Speaker 2: So did the apostles, you know, and they were hanging out,
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly, Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: I having bonfires with Jesus and they were still like,
Speaker 1: am I worthy?
Speaker 5: It's like.
Speaker 1: I don't know, ask Jesus. He's sitting right right.
Speaker 4: I can't do you know it is produced by Mormons,
Speaker 4: just so you guys know. But it's still got a
Speaker 4: good message message.
Speaker 5: You can't get away they.
Speaker 1: Can, you know, a broken clock is right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4: I think they were trying to be more biblical and
Speaker 4: kind of swoop into that market maybe because yeah, they've.
Speaker 5: Been that way lately. But still a good message. Okay.
Speaker 1: I got some good stuff for the teenage years too
Speaker 1: that maybe you guys might have forgotten. You You do
Speaker 1: yours first, though, Janet.
Speaker 2: So this one is not only childhood, but this has
Speaker 2: litteral been like my entire life, right, And it's another Psalms, right,
Speaker 2: it's one forty seven to three, and it's He heals
Speaker 2: the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. So how
Speaker 2: many of us have not gone through heartache and let
Speaker 2: down and all of those things that leave emotional scars,
Speaker 2: emotional wounds. And when you let God in, he can
Speaker 2: fix those things, the things that we as humans are
Speaker 2: not capable of fixing. He can definitely fix those up
Speaker 2: for you in a jiffy.
Speaker 1: So you know what's crazy about that one is when
Speaker 1: you're feeling those things, that's the hardest time to let
Speaker 1: God in because for me, I feel embittered, I feel.
Speaker 2: Bad anger in this situation.
Speaker 1: Just keeping it real. Yeah, And so those are like
Speaker 1: the hardest times, you know, when you're broken hearted and
Speaker 1: you feel like utter despair, that's the hardest times to
Speaker 1: let got in because let's be real, I think a
Speaker 1: humanity as a whole has a problem with when you
Speaker 1: sink to a certain level of low, you almost get
Speaker 1: addicted to the feeling of being there and you're like,
Speaker 1: I just want to sit in my own loath, self
Speaker 1: loathing and and label it is m Yeah. So I
Speaker 1: mean that's a great one because it's like you have
Speaker 1: to remind yourself like this is very temporary and there
Speaker 1: is healing on the other side. It's just getting there
Speaker 1: is the hard part, and like wanting it to is
Speaker 1: the hard pace.
Speaker 2: As we like that instant gratification, right, we want to
Speaker 2: feel better immediately, and that's why a lot of people
Speaker 2: will turn to like medications or illicit drugs or whatever
Speaker 2: because they want that like idiot release you know of
Speaker 2: orphans or whatever.
Speaker 1: But that is definitely I think the keyword though, Like
Speaker 1: in that scripture, the keyword though is like he will
Speaker 1: heal it, right, He'll heal it. Healing takes time. It's
Speaker 1: not He didn't say I'll take it away overnight. I'll
Speaker 1: take it instantaneously. Just ask me. I'm like a genie
Speaker 1: in a bottle. He said he would heal it. He
Speaker 1: didn't say how long that was gonna take.
Speaker 6: On his.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 1: And also, like with anything in the human body, if
Speaker 1: you cut your head off or whatever, you're gonna have
Speaker 1: a healing process. You're gonna need some It's not like
Speaker 1: think about that. It depends how deep the wound is. Like,
Speaker 1: give God some time, you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: let him work it out.
Speaker 5: Hopefully not the whole head.
Speaker 4: Hap.
Speaker 1: Slice. But I love that one. Janet, That's that's a
Speaker 1: great one.
Speaker 2: Thanks. How about this one, Matthew eleven twenty eight. Come
Speaker 2: to me, all all you who are weary and burdened,
Speaker 2: and I will give you rest. And I thought this
Speaker 2: was a perfect thing because how many people I'm lord,
Speaker 2: I am so tired. I am so tired of always
Speaker 2: being left alone, always being abandoned, like always, like all
Speaker 2: of these things happened to me all of the time.
Speaker 2: I'm so tired. I just cannot get through the day
Speaker 2: anymore because I'm so depressed, I'm so anxious, I'm so
Speaker 2: all of these things. That's why I thought this was
Speaker 2: like perfect, a lot.
Speaker 3: Of all the worms around you.
Speaker 6: Right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when I get to that place, I always ask
Speaker 1: for a sign. I know that seems like maybe weird
Speaker 1: to some people. When I get that desperate, I do,
Speaker 1: I'll be like, God, you better give me a sign
Speaker 1: that I'm doing this right because I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: in the valley right now, Like send me anything, like anything,
Speaker 1: just show me like that. And it's not. It's like
Speaker 1: I said before, it doesn't happen the next day, like
Speaker 1: I'll see something or somebody will say something to me.
Speaker 1: It's like maybe it'll take a few weeks or something,
Speaker 1: but I will eventually see a sign quote unquote that
Speaker 1: either I need to change what I'm doing or I'm
Speaker 1: moving in the right direction. And so it's true. I mean,
Speaker 1: like with anything else, he does give you that peace
Speaker 1: in them, and that's something that can only come from
Speaker 1: the Lord. Because I am an anxiety stricken fool, and
Speaker 1: peace and rest are not going to come from me.
Speaker 1: I will tell you that OCD panic attacks anxiety, and
Speaker 1: that's what comes from me. So I know when I
Speaker 1: feel like that that confidence, that peace, that rest, the reinsurance,
Speaker 1: it's it's coming from Him. And honestly, I always look
Speaker 1: forward to it because I have like seventeen voices in
Speaker 1: my head and like they just kind of feel quiet.
Speaker 2: All of my friends and they're talking that one arguing when.
Speaker 1: God talks to you, it's like it's very quiet and peaceful,
Speaker 1: and you just feel like you have the answer. But
Speaker 1: when you're talking to yourself, you're like, I should just
Speaker 1: freaking kill myself, Like I just I don't know what
Speaker 1: I'm doing. Like you literally I can't know you're out.
Speaker 2: Like I'm glad you brought that up, and I'm glad
Speaker 2: you said that because there's so many people that that
Speaker 2: have that like emotional turmoil inside of them and the
Speaker 2: anxiety and the depression and the panic, and you know,
Speaker 2: like it's almost like your body is vibrating like all
Speaker 2: the time, like you're always shaking because there's always some
Speaker 2: kind of like emotion like bouncing around the inside of
Speaker 2: your body that you can't seem to shut off, you know.
Speaker 2: So I think that's like a perfect scenario. And then
Speaker 2: when people do hear these voices or you know, some
Speaker 2: people are going to go voices. I don't hear voices
Speaker 2: your subconscious how about that? And your subconscious is like,
Speaker 2: you know what, like Janet, you're you're a loser, you
Speaker 2: should just commit suicide. Janet, you're a loser. You're never
Speaker 2: going to get that job because you're too stupid. That
Speaker 2: kind of stuff that is, that is your subconscious programming
Speaker 2: through you know, lots of years of abuse of your
Speaker 2: emotional system, and that's Satan working through your weakness to
Speaker 2: like try to cast his will upon you.
Speaker 1: So one hundred I agree, So.
Speaker 5: Go ahead.
Speaker 6: First, tim, I was just thinking of faith as the
Speaker 6: as the bottom line for all that is, too is
Speaker 6: for my life, it seems like it generally is kind
Speaker 6: of flat, and then I get when I get the highs,
Speaker 6: you feel like you're gonna be there forever, and then
Speaker 6: it crashes you get the lows. It seems like there's
Speaker 6: always a balance. But the thing that I just remind
Speaker 6: myself was one, it's the low's it's gonna come out
Speaker 6: when it's the highs. It's not gonna last either, but
Speaker 6: at least the lows won't last either. But it seems
Speaker 6: more of a balance, a center balance. But the faith
Speaker 6: that it will just move on.
Speaker 3: Just the next day, get to the next day, the
Speaker 3: next yend.
Speaker 5: Mm hmmm hm.
Speaker 4: So mine is weird because my teenagers were weird, and
Speaker 4: so this one fit the best for my life because
Speaker 4: I was married at seventeen and so and that's not recommended.
Speaker 5: Don't do that, it's stupid. But just so people know, I.
Speaker 4: Did love Timothy for twelve when it says, don't let
Speaker 4: anyone look down on you because you are young, but
Speaker 4: set an example for the believers in speed each in conduct,
Speaker 4: in love and faith and impurity, because I was still
Speaker 4: living a good life.
Speaker 5: I wasn't like pregnant or anything.
Speaker 4: Weird like we just I was just more on Like
Speaker 4: I don't know why I did that, but I was
Speaker 4: young and my husband was older, and so also I
Speaker 4: didn't just let him come in and take over my
Speaker 4: life like because he was twenty five and so also
Speaker 4: a bad idea, not recommending any of that, and I, yeah,
Speaker 4: I don't even know, but you know, it is a lot,
Speaker 4: So I know it was so dumb, like I don't
Speaker 4: even have a.
Speaker 6: Year though, didn't it was like a year because didn't
Speaker 6: you say he converted? So it wasn't like you rushed right.
Speaker 5: He converted, but we got married first.
Speaker 4: No, we got married within like nine days of my
Speaker 4: parents finding out there had been an indiscretion, so that
Speaker 4: we made out much.
Speaker 1: Yep, I bet if you want. If somebody was like,
Speaker 1: like Doc Brown pulled up in the Dolorean, was like,
Speaker 1: get in, Heidi, we're gonna rewrite your life, would you
Speaker 1: really go back and like not marry that guy? Or
Speaker 1: are you I didn't have children today?
Speaker 4: If I did not have children, I would go back
Speaker 4: and fix that for real?
Speaker 5: Really that bad?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Because it was all I think.
Speaker 1: You should just I think you should just rock with
Speaker 1: it because it's made you a cool person, and now
Speaker 1: you have a cautionary tale's true, Been there, done that.
Speaker 4: My son sat down the other day and he's like,
Speaker 4: what were you doing at my age? I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: I was getting married.
Speaker 2: Yeah, see you're like, which part of when I was
Speaker 2: your age?
Speaker 5: He looked at me like an alien. He was like,
Speaker 5: oh my gosh, like what this is gross? Like he
Speaker 5: couldn't even fathom.
Speaker 1: He was just own it, Heidi.
Speaker 5: Shame.
Speaker 10: But you know that my child status, it's a learned
Speaker 10: experience that you can share when you're giving your testimony
Speaker 10: to other people.
Speaker 5: Some people.
Speaker 2: Get married really young like that, and kudos to them,
Speaker 2: it works out whatever. But those are people that are
Speaker 2: rare and few and far between because you're you're meshing
Speaker 2: two different personalities together. Communication styles, is their faith that
Speaker 2: somebody else not have faith? You know, all of these
Speaker 2: things have to go together, and it's really hard I
Speaker 2: think unless you're an old soul for a seventeen year
Speaker 2: old to be able to have that vulnerability that's necessary
Speaker 2: in a relationship, to have those like open minds of
Speaker 2: communication and stuff. So it's his mom, I think, an
Speaker 2: old soul.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like dude, I know forty year olds who aren't
Speaker 1: at that place.
Speaker 2: Yet one hundred years exactly.
Speaker 1: It just so, I mean, it's not even so much
Speaker 1: about like the age, because Heidi, I do think you
Speaker 1: were probably mature for your you know age. But it's,
Speaker 1: like I said, you got to just own it at
Speaker 1: some point because it's it's something you can tell your kids,
Speaker 1: it's something you know. It's a cautionary tale. Have you
Speaker 1: heard my first episode on Janet's podcast, Geez, I'm like a.
Speaker 2: Walking caution side personally, I'm like the red light sirens that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but actually since I mentioned that my first episode
Speaker 1: on Janet's podcast. The scripture I wrote down was I
Speaker 1: had to find it because I knew what it said,
Speaker 1: but I didn't know what it was. It's Psalm sixty
Speaker 1: eight to five. He is a father to the fatherless.
Speaker 1: I learned that from my sister actually, because she knew obviously,
Speaker 1: she knew how my dad was and I would always
Speaker 1: complain about it because I wanted a relationship with him
Speaker 1: and he was a crackhead, and she would always say,
Speaker 1: you know, Julie, he the father to the fatherless, and
Speaker 1: that always stuck with me, like you do, like at
Speaker 1: some points as a female growing up, you want that
Speaker 1: relationship with your dad so badly, and it has impacted
Speaker 1: how I look at myself and the relationships that I've
Speaker 1: gotten myself into. And I think it's important to remember
Speaker 1: that even if your earthly father is a I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna swear, Janet.
Speaker 5: Is an issue is an issue.
Speaker 2: Say I am going along with you on this one
Speaker 2: because I'm thinking this fits my life to a tea
Speaker 2: as well. And I had lots of words that popped
Speaker 2: into my head that I would describe my father as.
Speaker 1: Can I just say it can I just say, if
Speaker 1: your father is a shithead, then you have a heavenly father.
Speaker 1: And that's the thing, you know. The Mormons sorry to say,
Speaker 1: they they have stolen that from just like regular because
Speaker 1: as the heavenly father thing. I was raised Pentecostal, and
Speaker 1: they said that too, your heavenly father. I think the
Speaker 1: Mormons took it to a creepy place, but the Crew,
Speaker 1: you know, you have a heavenly father. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: really liked that one. I also wrote down for my
Speaker 1: teen years. The Passion of the Christ came out when
Speaker 1: I was a teenager, and I remember watching it and
Speaker 1: thinking if if someone who was a non believer watched this,
Speaker 1: I don't know how in the world they could leave
Speaker 1: the movie theater not believing in Jesus. That it was
Speaker 1: so crazy to me in the in the way that
Speaker 1: they did it with the original language, and I loved
Speaker 1: it so much. I was obsessed with it. And I
Speaker 1: also became a obsessed with the Rapture around this time
Speaker 1: in my life when I was a teenager. I don't
Speaker 1: know why, but I was just like, I don't even
Speaker 1: care if I go to school, I don't care about anything,
Speaker 1: because Jesus is going to come back anyways, So why
Speaker 1: do I even need to make an effort? Like literally,
Speaker 1: my mom used to say, like I'm not even gonna
Speaker 1: pay this bill because like what if Jesus comes back?
Speaker 1: That was a very like not a great way to
Speaker 1: think about things, but that's how she was. Did you
Speaker 1: see the Cameron series Left Behind?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yep, I was. I was a little kid
Speaker 1: actually when that came out, and it terrified me, but
Speaker 1: then I later became obsessed with it, and I would
Speaker 1: always think the rapture was going to happen like the
Speaker 1: next day, and like if my mom spent too long
Speaker 1: at this store, I would like call I would you
Speaker 1: know she had like a little Nokia cell phone. I'd
Speaker 1: be calling that bitch five times, like oh my god,
Speaker 1: the rapture came and like I've been left behind and
Speaker 1: it was a real fear of mine.
Speaker 2: And you're you're gonna be on the orphan train and
Speaker 2: you yeah.
Speaker 5: The Mormons are like that too, Julia. They're very raptures tomorrow.
Speaker 4: Deal and yeah, yeah, preppers and crazy stuff.
Speaker 1: My grandpa was like a very fire and brimstone type
Speaker 1: of pastor, and so it wasn't a new notion to
Speaker 1: me that you could get left behind, but I was
Speaker 1: obsessed with it and terrified of it at the same time.
Speaker 1: The passion of the Christ, like I said, I loved
Speaker 1: that when I was a teenager. And that other scripture
Speaker 1: I mentioned, the Father to the Fatherless, that was really
Speaker 1: important to me. But that's that's what I got for
Speaker 1: my teenage years.
Speaker 6: Tam Yeah, for to do the screensheet again, Janet, Yes, okay,
Speaker 6: so real quick, what I'm not haven't quite caught up
Speaker 6: yet with everything. So and this time in my life,
Speaker 6: I was in switching high schools. I started one that
Speaker 6: was too big, and then I went to one that
Speaker 6: was too small, and then I found one that was
Speaker 6: just right.
Speaker 2: And the reason like Gollilocks and okay, let's see there
Speaker 2: you go there it is okay.
Speaker 6: So what I did was there the one too big, uh,
Speaker 6: too small, and then just right. And so when I
Speaker 6: went I ended up going to graduating from a Baptist
Speaker 6: high school and I loved it.
Speaker 3: Had a football team. I was so happy it was.
Speaker 1: Just the one, the one football team.
Speaker 6: The big school was massive. They were like two thousand
Speaker 6: just in my grade, and I was lost.
Speaker 3: I was so overwhelmed.
Speaker 6: The second one there would have been I think maybe
Speaker 6: eight graduating seniors, and that was just I really wanted,
Speaker 6: like the ceremony and all that. And then the last
Speaker 6: one was just perfect. I loved every bit of it
Speaker 6: except don't tell my parents. The reason I went there
Speaker 6: was because of a guy I met who went to
Speaker 6: that school.
Speaker 3: So this is where my head was back.
Speaker 2: Then, and lessons learned.
Speaker 5: I married the guy. You're better than me.
Speaker 3: But he but so we had to write a Bible first.
Speaker 6: So I went back to my high school yearbook and
Speaker 6: I was like, what, I wonder what I wrote that
Speaker 6: was so inspiring, that would have been so incredible and
Speaker 6: great and ready for the rest of my life.
Speaker 3: And I'm going out into the world.
Speaker 6: And the reason I look back and I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 6: John three sixteen.
Speaker 3: The reason I put that.
Speaker 6: Was because I was obsessed with football, and we'd go
Speaker 6: to football games and would watch football games, and every
Speaker 6: end zone always had that.
Speaker 3: Sign John three sixteen, John sixteen.
Speaker 2: So it is cool though, so read that, read that
Speaker 2: tam okay, good good good good.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 6: For God so loved the world that he gave his
Speaker 6: one and only son, that who's whoever believeth in him
Speaker 6: shall not perish, but have eternal life.
Speaker 3: So it is important. It is weird, I mean I
Speaker 3: do it is. It is wonderful.
Speaker 2: But which goes that's on with the passion of the Christ.
Speaker 1: Yes, And that's the one if you were ever going
Speaker 1: to get like a biblical tramp stamp, get that John
Speaker 1: three sixteen. That I mean, that's like.
Speaker 5: That one.
Speaker 1: That's like one of the most well known scriptures of
Speaker 1: all time, right John three sixteen.
Speaker 2: So you know what I love about that scripture is
Speaker 2: like in our day to day lives and like all
Speaker 2: of the suffering and the trials and all of the
Speaker 2: traumas and the things that people go through here, and
Speaker 2: it's like, you know again, like poor me, Why does
Speaker 2: everything bad always happen to me? Why am I always
Speaker 2: the one that these things are happening to? Like I
Speaker 2: am suffering so bad? It's like me, me, me, me, Well,
Speaker 2: look at what Jesus endured, you know, with the lashings
Speaker 2: and the beatings and the crown of thorns and the
Speaker 2: whole nine yards and all of the you know, things
Speaker 2: that he had to go through. And who are we
Speaker 2: to complain that we have a cold, you.
Speaker 6: Know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Right, Look at Job.
Speaker 5: That's what I was going to say.
Speaker 2: We are we are going to talk about books of
Speaker 2: the Bible on upcoming episodes and like stories and things,
Speaker 2: and Job is one of them that I want to
Speaker 2: get into.
Speaker 4: So oh man, that was my whole from twenty four
Speaker 4: to like thirty seven is job for me?
Speaker 1: So at least well and even think like on your
Speaker 1: worst day, have you ever gotten swallowed by a whale?
Speaker 4: Like all of your children die at once, and they
Speaker 4: always say we'll jump everything back.
Speaker 5: I'm like, uh, those aren't the same kids. You can't.
Speaker 5: He's a child. He had more children. That's not right.
Speaker 2: And and think of how many people in the world
Speaker 2: too could identify with Job because they have lost children,
Speaker 2: they have their house has burnt down like all, they've
Speaker 2: lost all of their property, all their animals, you know whatever.
Speaker 1: So did people big scabs and stuff all over him too,
Speaker 1: like some kind of like parias.
Speaker 5: Soils and it was pustals.
Speaker 1: On your sickest day? Have you ever been joke?
Speaker 9: Hey?
Speaker 2: And wait and then they used it and they made vaccinations.
Speaker 1: Sorry, that's where Pfizer came from. That's where the.
Speaker 2: Small box stuff originated.
Speaker 6: Yeah, No, I mean when you were talking about like
Speaker 6: we're talking about the mother's love for Moses, baby Moses,
Speaker 6: and the mother's love, think of a father's love to
Speaker 6: know what it is no one's going to go through
Speaker 6: for acting when the water works again, but to know
Speaker 6: to know what he's going to have to go through
Speaker 6: and what it's for and why he's doing that.
Speaker 2: I mean, and Jesus himself knowing that he has to
Speaker 2: go through these things. And that's what you know. Like Julia,
Speaker 2: you had mentioned earlier that like when you're going through
Speaker 2: something at the time, like you don't want to go
Speaker 2: through it, like and you're angry and you're you know,
Speaker 2: full of rage or hate or you know, whatever the
Speaker 2: emotion is. I used to be that way and now
Speaker 2: I have literally switched course and I'm like, Okay, you
Speaker 2: need me to go through this, all right? Well I
Speaker 2: I'm not you know, not a problem. I could navigate
Speaker 2: through this with your help. You know you need me
Speaker 2: to go through this to show me something, all right,
Speaker 2: I'm I'm your person, you know what I mean. But
Speaker 2: it's it's not until you know, like lots of growth
Speaker 2: and lots of stuff that you're able to see like
Speaker 2: how much you can actually survive, suffer to help other people. Yeah,
Speaker 2: if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: The word popped into my mind as you were saying
Speaker 1: that that I've been working on is surrender, because I
Speaker 1: think all human beings selfishly have the desire to control
Speaker 1: everything and want to know what the outcome is going
Speaker 1: to be and want to so I think the key
Speaker 1: thing you can think of when you're in the eye
Speaker 1: of the storm is just surrendering. Like you know, Tom
Speaker 1: hankson Castaway for lack of a better example, just you know,
Speaker 1: you'll find your Wilson. He's out there somewhere, just wait
Speaker 1: for it. Because when you literally feel like you're isolated
Speaker 1: on an island and there's no help, there's no uh
Speaker 1: silver lining, you'll find your way through, but you just
Speaker 1: literally have to surrender.
Speaker 5: God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let go. Yeah.
Speaker 4: This is one that I definitely resonate with because I'm
Speaker 4: a very structured person and I'm very like, I'm going
Speaker 4: to take control of this like I got it, and
Speaker 4: then when you don't got it, like it can be
Speaker 4: really frustrating, but it does say in Matthew six twenty five,
Speaker 4: do not be worried about your life.
Speaker 5: That's what you'll eat or what you'll drink or not
Speaker 5: for your body or what you'll put on.
Speaker 4: And it also talks constantly, like in Philippians, don't be
Speaker 4: anxious about anything in every situation. Be prayer, prayerful, impetition,
Speaker 4: with thanksgiving, present your request to God. It it constantly tells us,
Speaker 4: do not worry constantly. But yeah, what are we obsessed with?
Speaker 11: We do?
Speaker 5: We just do?
Speaker 4: And if your mom or if you you know, have
Speaker 4: any kind of like it doesn't have to be a
Speaker 4: mom respond ability person. If you're the person that's the
Speaker 4: responsibility person in your family could be your parents. It
Speaker 4: was my parents for a long time. It's hard not
Speaker 4: to worry. I think I was in constant state of
Speaker 4: worry till I was in my thirties. It's still I mean,
Speaker 4: it's still there. But yeah, if it's that you have
Speaker 4: to surrender, I mean, it's going to keep happening. Because
Speaker 4: that's the one thing I've found out about my life
Speaker 4: is if you do not figure it out, you will
Speaker 4: be represented with this situation at a later.
Speaker 2: Date, over and over and over until.
Speaker 3: God gram you patience and do it now.
Speaker 2: Exactly.
Speaker 4: The best example of this is I have never been
Speaker 4: married to anyone that.
Speaker 5: Didn't have well my second husband.
Speaker 4: Okay, my husband had an ex wife named Christina when
Speaker 4: we got married at seventeen and she had a child.
Speaker 4: And then my husband now his ex wife is Christine
Speaker 4: and they have kids and constantly.
Speaker 5: With the one.
Speaker 4: Even though I ended up being a mother to that
Speaker 4: daughter very quickly, she had a stroke when she had
Speaker 4: a baby and couldn't take care of her, and I
Speaker 4: became a stepmom at nineteen, and I was like I
Speaker 4: have no idea what I'm doing here, like this is hard,
Speaker 4: and then you know, had another baby on the way
Speaker 4: soon and I was just like this is insane. But
Speaker 4: I was so bitter and angry for every single thing
Speaker 4: she didn't complete or do that was like my thing
Speaker 4: from a childhood, Like I didn't get a card on
Speaker 4: that birthday, like f that lady, Like that lady is
Speaker 4: a piece of crap. And I was a little too
Speaker 4: verbal about that in front of the child, Okay, And
Speaker 4: that did not help my stepdaughter, like honestly, it harmed her.
Speaker 4: She's back reunited with her real mom. Does she talk
Speaker 4: to me, No, you know, does she care about me?
Speaker 4: I'm sure she does in her own way, but like
Speaker 4: you know, and there was a lot of things that
Speaker 4: went into that. I mean, she she was a teenager
Speaker 4: and got ripped out of our family, so I'm sure
Speaker 4: that was hard on top of many other things. But
Speaker 4: then again, here comes the same situation later in life,
Speaker 4: and we were so much more careful about Like, even
Speaker 4: though I really sometimes wanted to be like.
Speaker 5: This lady, you know, like.
Speaker 2: You secretly wanted to join the murder club, didn't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was like, sometimes you really want to. But
Speaker 4: if the kids are coming to you and talking to you, right,
Speaker 4: and you have that moment to be like this bitch here,
Speaker 4: you know, like you don't, what you want to do
Speaker 4: instead is like I'm sure that your parent is going
Speaker 4: through their own thing, and you kind of almost make excuses.
Speaker 5: Not totally.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't like completely wash that off of her, but
Speaker 4: I'm like, it isn't you.
Speaker 5: This is something else.
Speaker 4: I know that for a fact, I know for a
Speaker 4: fact your parents both love you. Like I would just
Speaker 4: reiterate the things that I knew for sure, you know,
Speaker 4: And it was much better, even though we couldn't keep
Speaker 4: out of a lot of situations and still don't. I mean,
Speaker 4: at least we can say that.
Speaker 2: But that's the thing though, is finally going through these
Speaker 2: trials and tribulations and learning how to approach this situation
Speaker 2: differently and how to respond better and react better in
Speaker 2: the future. And literally the Bible is full of that,
Speaker 2: you know, And it's like talking about fear and stuff.
Speaker 2: And that's one of my favorite things in there, where
Speaker 2: God does not instill you with the heart of fear
Speaker 2: like we do that on our own. We create that
Speaker 2: emotion on our own. It's not something that He put
Speaker 2: in our heart, you know what I'm saying, other than
Speaker 2: to be fearful of the Lord, you know, for not
Speaker 2: following and things like that. But as far as you know,
Speaker 2: fear over climate change and fear over you know, the neighbor,
Speaker 2: and fear over all these things like that should not
Speaker 2: be there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's it's actually a spirit and I
Speaker 1: think it you know, if you let it attached to you,
Speaker 1: it's one of the hardest ones to get rid of.
Speaker 4: And that's why I love Yeah, they think they have
Speaker 4: a guardian angel, but not bad spirits.
Speaker 5: Bull you better look at your.
Speaker 1: Bi Yeah, there's bad spirits. But that's why I love
Speaker 1: that story about Jesus because it makes him almost more
Speaker 1: humanized in the way that he was in the garden,
Speaker 1: and he was like, does it really have to go
Speaker 1: down like this?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: You know, I would prefer.
Speaker 2: That it didn't.
Speaker 1: And you're like, oh, Jesus, like, what the heck You're
Speaker 1: supposed to like die for us? Duh. But he's like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, put yourself in my shoes. I'm really gonna
Speaker 1: have to go through this and it's really gonna suck.
Speaker 1: So I mean, like that surrender obviously, But to me,
Speaker 1: that story always just stuck with me because it's like
Speaker 1: and Jesus was like, oh, come on, like this this
Speaker 1: is really this is what it's gotta be.
Speaker 2: But you know, I love that though, because it's like
Speaker 2: us letting go of our ego to be able to
Speaker 2: live through this spirit. And that's why I said earlier,
Speaker 2: like us being able to go through sacrifice and pain
Speaker 2: that can help somebody else, that's what we're meant to
Speaker 2: be doing.
Speaker 1: Sure mm hmm, yeah, I agree. Yeah, And I think
Speaker 1: like it's we're all having different experiences, but we're all,
Speaker 1: you know, part of God and God experiencing through us,
Speaker 1: and so I don't think we're all meant to have
Speaker 1: the same experience. Everybody how we help each other exactly.
Speaker 2: Everybody's got a very different pathway. So this is one
Speaker 2: of my favorite, favorite favorite things, and this literally holds
Speaker 2: true to me to this day. It is Proverbs thirty
Speaker 2: one eight through nine, and it is open your mouth
Speaker 2: for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute,
Speaker 2: open your mouth judge righteously defend the rights of the
Speaker 2: poor and the needy. So I am a big proponent
Speaker 2: of standing up for other people, sticking up for other people,
Speaker 2: speaking or being the voice for people who are too
Speaker 2: timid maybe to say anything. And so that is one
Speaker 2: of the ways that God has called me to give
Speaker 2: back or to do, is to be that person for
Speaker 2: other people.
Speaker 1: I love that about you. By the way, Janet, thank you.
Speaker 1: And you're always cheering on the underdog too.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what I'm That's what we should be doing,
Speaker 2: right because who needs who needs to It's kind of
Speaker 2: like God's flock, right, who needs to prophesy or preach
Speaker 2: or try to teach somebody that already thinks they know everything.
Speaker 2: It's the people that don't that need the most help.
Speaker 2: And so you know, why would I like help out
Speaker 2: a podcaster or a musician or somebody that's like already
Speaker 2: got like millions of dollars in the bank when my
Speaker 2: friend has twenty, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Well, and see, that's the thing is that I've always
Speaker 1: said about you, Janet, even to Colby, is that you're
Speaker 1: the least judgmental person I know, and like out of
Speaker 1: all the people who claim to be Christian in my
Speaker 1: life that I absolutely can't stand how they act and
Speaker 1: it almost disgusts me to a degree. You are literally
Speaker 1: the least judgmental, like you actually do and say and
Speaker 1: and you know, try to live your life the way
Speaker 1: we're supposed to, because I think judgment is like the
Speaker 1: easiest thing for us to all fall into. And that's
Speaker 1: why I can't stand baby Christians because they're just learning
Speaker 1: everything and they're the most judgmental, like insufferable.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you said the B word, are right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, judge not be judged.
Speaker 1: Baby Christians are just on the high horse of all time.
Speaker 1: And I just you know, I'm like, come back in
Speaker 1: like five to ten years and we can talk then
Speaker 1: after you've settled into your.
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people in churches per se
Speaker 2: like church and a building wise, are a lot like
Speaker 2: baby Christians, right, because they're not being fed the Word
Speaker 2: of God. They're being fed like topical somons. And maybe
Speaker 2: maybe during the whole sermon on a Sunday, you may
Speaker 2: get one or two very small verses of scripture and
Speaker 2: then the rest of it is that person's opinion or
Speaker 2: that person's you know whatever. And so they're not getting
Speaker 2: their spirit fed to be able to grow any further.
Speaker 3: And there's mega churches. Have you guys ever been to
Speaker 3: one of those mega churches?
Speaker 1: They look like they look like Walmart supercenters?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Oklahoma, we have one here and we never went
Speaker 2: to church there, but he took me in there one
Speaker 2: time because our voting was there and I had never
Speaker 2: been in there, and I'm like, what the heck. They
Speaker 2: have a restaurant, and they have a full coffee shop,
Speaker 2: and they have a giant it's not just a bookstore,
Speaker 2: it's like a giant merchandise warehouse store and whatever. And
Speaker 2: this thing literally takes up like acres and acres and
Speaker 2: acres of land, but it's literally all these fancy things
Speaker 2: inside of this church. And I'm like, I would never
Speaker 2: in a million years go to church here.
Speaker 1: I've always wanted, like to feel intimate with God when
Speaker 1: I go to and it's not because well, I was
Speaker 1: raised like that. Grandpa's church was super super small, and
Speaker 1: like you know, we're Pentecostals, so there was people running
Speaker 1: up and down and getting fell out in the spirit
Speaker 1: and all that. I loved it. I thought it was
Speaker 1: very entertaining. But the point is, I don't feel God
Speaker 1: when I go into those places, Like I don't feel moved,
Speaker 1: I don't feel excited, I don't feel on fire. And
Speaker 1: sometimes when I'm literally just sitting on my couch and
Speaker 1: I'll just like get to read in something or get inspired,
Speaker 1: I feel God more than I would in that Mega Colls.
Speaker 2: That is That's exactly what God talks about in the Bible, right,
Speaker 2: is be wary of these churches and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: And as long as two or more people are gathered
Speaker 2: and His name that is church, you don't have to
Speaker 2: go You don't have to go to a to a building.
Speaker 2: Church has never been about a building.
Speaker 5: You know, they become the church. It doesn't say go
Speaker 5: to church.
Speaker 1: Like become become a living church and take it around
Speaker 1: with you. Like I think that's where the whole I
Speaker 1: will make you fishers of men comes from because who
Speaker 1: are you fishing when you're going to the church, Like
Speaker 1: everybody already is on board with you, Like if you
Speaker 1: if you think of it as a fisherman, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna go somewhere with zero fish and try to you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like I'm trying to get out
Speaker 1: in the trenches and find some fish to reel in,
Speaker 1: Like that's what you're supposed to do. And that's why
Speaker 1: I mean, I probably should stop using the F bomb
Speaker 1: because maybe it's turns off a few fish here and
Speaker 1: there that I could have reeled in if I wasn't
Speaker 1: such a foul mouth.
Speaker 2: But but again, they're passing judgment on you and they
Speaker 2: should not be because they are also not perfect.
Speaker 4: There has been I want to say this, there has
Speaker 4: been studies about people that cuss a lot.
Speaker 5: I cuss a lot.
Speaker 4: As well, and it says they're more honest and unable
Speaker 4: to lie as well as people that mask it all
Speaker 4: the time because everybody's thinking it. It just happened come
Speaker 4: out of your mouth. So you're the actuary person, which
Speaker 4: probably means you're more honest.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a releasing of stress too, you're actually really.
Speaker 1: Oh sure, Oh my god, you ever stub your toe?
Speaker 2: Come on, I don't go tortilla chips. Yeah, that's not
Speaker 2: what comes out of my mouth that I do.
Speaker 1: At least two f's in a couple s's in a couple. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, well, sugar Baker.
Speaker 4: To Janet's point on the church thing, I want to say,
Speaker 4: because you know, you guys know, I'm definitely not a
Speaker 4: person about church anymore other than this kind of church
Speaker 4: we're having. Yeah, And Fir Timothy two five states. For
Speaker 4: there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind.
Speaker 4: The man is Jesus Christ. And that means that Jesus
Speaker 4: Christ is the only way to God, the Father. There
Speaker 4: is no one that can save your soul by going
Speaker 4: in a booth or giving you a cracker or any
Speaker 4: of this crap, okay, or bread underbread and water where.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like, it's not about that.
Speaker 4: And honestly, like even baptism, even though some people will
Speaker 4: say you're not saved if you're not baptized, there's even
Speaker 4: scriptures about that that says no, if you have accepted
Speaker 4: Jesus Christ in your heart, you are born again. So yes,
Speaker 4: we do these things out of respect or you know,
Speaker 4: to be like Christ. But they're not necessarily required. And
Speaker 4: no one should be doing this to anyone about any
Speaker 4: of it, even if it's swearing, even if I don't
Speaker 4: care if your neighbor's doing the worst thing ever, Like
Speaker 4: it's whatever, unless it's affecting you and your children, your life,
Speaker 4: Like who cares live your life? Like try and talk
Speaker 4: to them about God if they're not saved. But other
Speaker 4: than that, like, really, do you need to look down
Speaker 4: your nose as somebody to feel better?
Speaker 5: Because I don't, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think the communion, I don't know if
Speaker 1: that's what you guys called it, but we called it communion,
Speaker 1: you know, with the oyster cracker and the grape juice
Speaker 1: and all that. I think a lot of this stuff
Speaker 1: is ritualism, and I think a lot of it makes
Speaker 1: us feel better. And sure, And if you're gonna say,
Speaker 1: don't judge me. Can't judge people who like to take
Speaker 1: their communion every other Sunday or whatever and go to
Speaker 1: the booth and at least they've found God. I'm you know, whatever,
Speaker 1: I can't judge them for that either. But I will say,
Speaker 1: though I have always thought it odd because it says
Speaker 1: like you're not supposed to call anyone else father or
Speaker 1: put anybody before him. And yeah, the Catholics do this stuff.
Speaker 1: And you know, I'm not even saying I'm judging them.
Speaker 1: It's just if we're going biblically, I don't know why
Speaker 1: they that would even be a thing to like have
Speaker 1: someone absolve you of your sin and also call them father.
Speaker 1: And it just has always seemed odd to me. But
Speaker 1: I do think we get stuck in a little bit
Speaker 1: of ritualism. I was even talking to Colby the other
Speaker 1: day and I was like, I have always thought that
Speaker 1: baptism was important. That's because that's how I was raised.
Speaker 1: And you have to get baptized, and you do feel
Speaker 1: like you're turning a new leaf in your life, you
Speaker 1: know when you do the baptism and.
Speaker 5: You do it for the right reasons. Yeah, I think, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think whatever whatever can help you get closer
Speaker 1: to God, that's fine. I think these are all tools
Speaker 1: that you can put in your tool bag. But at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, it's really that's really just
Speaker 1: all they are, like tools. They're not right, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. It's because Jesus is the intercessor to
Speaker 1: the Father, and as long as you go through Him
Speaker 1: for everything, you're you're good, You're golden. You don't need
Speaker 1: the communion, you don't need the baptism, you don't need.
Speaker 5: You know, X, Y Z.
Speaker 1: Other are just like tools and your tool belt. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah at the Mormon Church, don't do that right.
Speaker 1: People fall into ritualism because it's comforable for them, and
Speaker 1: it's it's like repetitive and it's strong, rotine, and yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: people love their ritualism. I actually have for my early
Speaker 1: adult section. This part of my life is kind of
Speaker 1: weird because I grew up in church and this was
Speaker 1: the part of my life where I was like, screw that,
Speaker 1: I'm not a Christian anymore. And I thought I was
Speaker 1: like an astrologer want and oh yeah, yeah. I got
Speaker 1: really obsessed with like zodiac stuff, and I was like,
Speaker 1: the truth is in every religion, and I'm Buddha and
Speaker 1: I'm this and I'm that, and I just thought I
Speaker 1: was you know, and I actually used some of the
Speaker 1: stuff that's super integral to me now as basis of
Speaker 1: why I couldn't stand the Bible. I would say, look
Speaker 1: at the Genesis story. Look at the Old Testament you
Speaker 1: telling me that's a good and loving God that would
Speaker 1: you know, do these things? And he's so wrathful and
Speaker 1: he's such an asshole, and he's telling Abraham to like
Speaker 1: kill his son and then he's like, oh, just kidding,
Speaker 1: you know, never mind. And I was like, how can
Speaker 1: you explain to me why the Old Testament God is
Speaker 1: in such contrast from the New Testament God? And like
Speaker 1: what it just seemed weird to me. The flood story
Speaker 1: seemed weird to me, like why did he have to
Speaker 1: kill everybody? And it's actually those same things that I
Speaker 1: now use as like a strengthening to my faith because
Speaker 1: they're all the things that if you look into conspiracies,
Speaker 1: they make so much more sense than just looking at
Speaker 1: them from the surface level, especially the Genesis story. But
Speaker 1: and it's crazy because the Bible does say if you
Speaker 1: raise them upright, they'll always come back around, but they
Speaker 1: might take a detour.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: That was me and I did think I was an
Speaker 1: astrologer and I was like an into the zodiac stuff
Speaker 1: and all this, and God used the things that I
Speaker 1: loved the most in my life to bring me back
Speaker 1: to him, which was conspiracy theories. And I laugh every
Speaker 1: time I say that, but you know, thank God for
Speaker 1: flat Earth and the Nephelum and you know, because it
Speaker 1: just totally strengthened my faith. But this was definitely a
Speaker 1: weird time in my life early adulthood, Like seventeen eighteen,
Speaker 1: I thought I knew everything. I was watching the Zeitgeist.
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus is in every religion, and you know, don't
Speaker 1: watch the Zeitgeist.
Speaker 4: I do want to say, like I think that for
Speaker 4: this panel, this one's a really good one, no matter
Speaker 4: which part of your life you've been in. But who
Speaker 4: can find a virtuous woman for her prices above rubies?
Speaker 4: I always love that scripture and I held onto it,
Speaker 4: especially for my kids when they got to this age
Speaker 4: or when you start to feel worthless, especially if you're like, okay,
Speaker 4: I was in a religion that wasn't very loving, and
Speaker 4: it's extremely like you're not doing enough.
Speaker 5: You've got to do more.
Speaker 4: You need your house the cleanest, your kids is hair,
Speaker 4: the best, the clothes need to be the best. Everything
Speaker 4: you haves to And I was going to school full
Speaker 4: time and working full time and trying to do this
Speaker 4: and it just wasn't working, you know, and so I
Speaker 4: oftentimes just felt devastated a lot.
Speaker 5: It was horrible, you know.
Speaker 4: It was like not just the judgment of others, really
Speaker 4: it was like my judgment on myself, you know, like, oh,
Speaker 4: I can't be home to make dinner because I'm going
Speaker 4: to my nursing class tonight, so I could go be
Speaker 4: something or whatever, and it just I don't know, I
Speaker 4: think probably a lot of people feel that way, like
Speaker 4: there is no perfect parent, there is no perfect mom,
Speaker 4: there is no perfect dad, there is no perfect anything.
Speaker 4: And even if they foul it all up and they
Speaker 4: come back with a good heart to you, like, maybe
Speaker 4: you should read your scriptures too, because I don't care
Speaker 4: if somebody says I forgive them and walk away, that's
Speaker 4: not what God says you should do. So she shouldn't
Speaker 4: abandon your parents in their elderly years. And it says
Speaker 4: you should honor them and all these things. And there's
Speaker 4: like a whole bunch of scriptures about this, and everybody
Speaker 4: knows I have a you know, ball in this game,
Speaker 4: because my daughter, she says she loves me and she
Speaker 4: has forgiven me, and she's never gonna talk to me again,
Speaker 4: and so like.
Speaker 5: That's not love. That's that love. You can't too that
Speaker 5: to people.
Speaker 4: You can just absolve yourself of everything and pat yourself
Speaker 4: on the back and.
Speaker 5: Go, good job. Now you have to work things out
Speaker 5: with people. Unfortunately, that's hard.
Speaker 2: That is hard. Forgiveness is literally the hardest thing that
Speaker 2: any human being can do, because it's so easy for
Speaker 2: us to like always hold a grudge and to never
Speaker 2: be like, Okay, I forgive you for all the terrible
Speaker 2: things that you did to me. My situation is very
Speaker 2: different because while I have forgiveness for my family, they're
Speaker 2: not necessary in my day to day structure. I've done
Speaker 2: all that I can do.
Speaker 5: And that's the difference. You've done it.
Speaker 4: You would do it tomorrow if they called you and
Speaker 4: were like such a shit, you know, like I'm sorry,
Speaker 4: or even if they didn't say sorry, if they just
Speaker 4: wanted to start being in your life again, you wouldn't
Speaker 4: turn them away because I know never.
Speaker 6: And I think the part of forgiveness is not saying
Speaker 6: it's forgiving them, but it's not saying what you did
Speaker 6: it doesn't mean it was okay. It just means moving
Speaker 6: on and stuff. It doesn't mean what they did still.
Speaker 5: And the sorry is not like, okay, I've been told
Speaker 5: this plenty.
Speaker 4: My sorry isn't good enough. Okay, I still don't even
Speaker 4: know why, you know. But like at the end of
Speaker 4: the day, I look at things and I'm like, you
Speaker 4: know that my parents put me through the ringer, like
Speaker 4: they did.
Speaker 5: I was a ward of the court by twelve. It
Speaker 5: was that bad. And it was the eighties. They didn't
Speaker 5: take people's kids back then, so it was to that level.
Speaker 4: And on top of it, you know, my dad was
Speaker 4: in prison and some pretty vile things like but did
Speaker 4: I not ever see him again? My children's life would
Speaker 4: have been devastatingly sad if they had not had him
Speaker 4: in their life.
Speaker 5: Was I careful? Yeah? Did I watch for things like yep?
Speaker 5: Did I make sure to be there? Yes? Did I
Speaker 5: not just hand in like my child and be like okay,
Speaker 5: cool bye?
Speaker 4: No? I mean I don't know what happened in there,
Speaker 4: Like I know it was like you know, corporate whatever stuff.
Speaker 5: But like at the end of the day, you don't
Speaker 5: want to.
Speaker 4: Just walk away, you know. And he was really trying.
Speaker 4: It's like what you said with your family. He came
Speaker 4: to me, He's like, I'll do anything like, and he did.
Speaker 4: He was always there, like even you know, I've got
Speaker 4: prison letters from him that I just cherished because I'm like,
Speaker 4: you know, he tried over and over. He called me
Speaker 4: almost every other day, Like I'm sure that costs a
Speaker 4: ton of money back then, you know, but he did.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, do you really throw all that away?
Speaker 4: Because he did this bad thing like some people do,
Speaker 4: and in this day and age, they do in this
Speaker 4: day and age, everyone's toxic like that and you should
Speaker 4: never speak to them again and forgive them in your heart.
Speaker 4: That's some croc of shit.
Speaker 9: And now I'm in at some point like it's their cross
Speaker 9: to bear at the some point because like you can't
Speaker 9: do anything, and then it's up to you to forgive
Speaker 9: them and just say it's their cross to bear, because
Speaker 9: like you can't like get in somebody else's mind and
Speaker 9: like make them think or do anything specifically.
Speaker 5: Oh but boy, have I had to learn that. Yeah,
Speaker 5: that's you know, that took so long. My dad.
Speaker 1: He's something, and he's in jail right now, and he
Speaker 1: he writes me all letters, and I wrote him back
Speaker 1: as much as I could. He he has nothing to
Speaker 1: do but write me letters, and I have a whole
Speaker 1: other life besides, you know. But I've responded as much
Speaker 1: as I can, and I have told him I forgive him.
Speaker 1: I've forg I gave. I forgave him before he even
Speaker 1: asked for it. And and but my problem is is
Speaker 1: like I never ever would have rejected him, even all
Speaker 1: the things he did. Whatever, I forgive him. And the
Speaker 1: thing is this, I can give out forgiveness way easier
Speaker 1: than I can forgive myself. I think I'm like so
Speaker 1: hard on myself, and I kind of I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's the opposite for other people, Like they have
Speaker 1: a hard time forgiving someone if they've done something too,
Speaker 1: they're a grudge holder. I get that. But I can
Speaker 1: forgive someone like ten times easier than I can forgive myself.
Speaker 1: If I do this smallest thing, I'll remember it forever
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, oh my god, I can't believe
Speaker 1: I did that. I will never forget that, and I
Speaker 1: will never forgive myself. So still, so.
Speaker 2: Let me ask you a question, because this sounds like
Speaker 2: my daughter to a t. And it's like if this
Speaker 2: isn't good enough or that's not good enough, like she's
Speaker 2: not good enough as a human being if she didn't
Speaker 2: like get the best grade or whatever. Were you like
Speaker 2: that as a kid too.
Speaker 1: Yes, one hundred, that's fine, yeah, one hundred and And
Speaker 1: I've almost chocked it up to having like OCD because
Speaker 1: I have to like check the locks on the doors
Speaker 1: and do like these certain things. And it was kind
Speaker 1: of like Heidi was saying about like cleaning the house
Speaker 1: and stuff, I'm weird about it. And my mom used
Speaker 1: to say cleanliness is next to go, and she used
Speaker 1: to like get on her hands and knees and like
Speaker 1: scrub floorboards and stuff. And I thought that was you know,
Speaker 1: So now everything I do is through that lens of
Speaker 1: like nothing I do is good enough. Maybe it comes
Speaker 1: from my dad being a pos so I don't know,
Speaker 1: and like never feeling worthy of, you know, like why
Speaker 1: doesn't he want anything to do with me? Why is
Speaker 1: he a crad? You know, I forgive him for that,
Speaker 1: but maybe it's something I maybe it's my cross to bear,
Speaker 1: you know what.
Speaker 2: You know what it is though with him is he
Speaker 2: has no forgiveness for himself nor that they you know
Speaker 2: that he did, and so like he's going through his
Speaker 2: own like emotional trauma. And this is not just fear Dad.
Speaker 2: This is like literally for anybody that people are so
Speaker 2: burdened by like their own traumas, their own emotions things
Speaker 2: like that, that they find it really hard to like process,
Speaker 2: to be able to be vulnerable and have that communication
Speaker 2: with other people and be like, you know what, Julia,
Speaker 2: like I did these things because you know, I was
Speaker 2: a drug addict and I was a drug addict because
Speaker 2: of you know, X, Y and Z these emotions from
Speaker 2: my childhood or you know whatever abuse things like that.
Speaker 2: It's too difficult for most people to be in touch
Speaker 2: with that uh innermost portion of themselves where they allow
Speaker 2: them say themselves to tell other people like, hey, I
Speaker 2: was abused, you know, I was sexually assaulted. I was
Speaker 2: you know, I was an addict because of these things,
Speaker 2: Like people don't want to have those conversations with other people,
Speaker 2: let alone themselves.
Speaker 4: And I think as a child of a dad that
Speaker 4: went to prison too at a young age. I don't
Speaker 4: know when your dad did, but mine was at a
Speaker 4: young age. Mine was at like nine. I think there's
Speaker 4: a piece of you that you're like, I'm bad too.
Speaker 4: I must be defective in some way because he's half
Speaker 4: of me, and I'm a piece of shit, you know,
Speaker 4: And my stepdad made sure that I knew I was
Speaker 4: a piece of shit, and he would often come and
Speaker 4: tell me that, like, your real dad's a piece of shit,
Speaker 4: and you're just like him.
Speaker 5: So I mean, I think that when you.
Speaker 4: Grow up a certain kind of way, you really start
Speaker 4: to even if no one told you, right, like, you
Speaker 4: start to process like I am half of these people,
Speaker 4: like and that's when you have to go back to
Speaker 4: that scripture you said about having your father be God,
Speaker 4: you know, or Jesus at whichever way you want to
Speaker 4: put that, but that that is so powerful because we
Speaker 4: are his by adoption and it's the best adoption.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 4: And there's a scripture about this, and I don't know
Speaker 4: which one it is, but I know there's one about adoption,
Speaker 4: and you know, we have.
Speaker 5: To remember that, you know, we are.
Speaker 4: That lucky that when you adopt a child, there's hoops,
Speaker 4: there's it's a whole process.
Speaker 5: You have to do all these things and pay all
Speaker 5: this money, and you're really wanted.
Speaker 9: Like it's no accident, you know, right right, yeah, And.
Speaker 1: To sacrifice too, because like I've known people who'se like
Speaker 1: family members have been in a bad spot when they
Speaker 1: had a baby and the family member will like adopt
Speaker 1: it and raise it even though they had no responsibility
Speaker 1: to that child whatsoever, or even you know, marrying someone
Speaker 1: and taking on their kids from a previous relationship. And
Speaker 1: that's sacrifice. I don't care what anyone says, like, that's
Speaker 1: one of the hardest because it's not yours. And they
Speaker 1: may never look at you like a parent, even though
Speaker 1: you've washed their shitty drawers and you know, fed them
Speaker 1: and you know, cleaned up after them, and they may
Speaker 1: not ever love you like a parent even though you've
Speaker 1: done all that for him. So yeah, I mean it
Speaker 1: is sacrificing to think, like you were saying, we're the
Speaker 1: adopted kids of God and he still loves us so much.
Speaker 1: He is like, I have a real kid and I'm
Speaker 1: going to kill him for you. How about that You
Speaker 1: think I love you?
Speaker 4: Yet?
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly paid the ultimate price for us.
Speaker 1: And I just think Jesus, because I'm so I'm so
Speaker 1: grateful for that, and that forgiveness too, that I look
Speaker 1: for that I can never give myself. It it comes
Speaker 1: from God. That forgiveness is of God, and it's something
Speaker 1: that I think is almost beyond human comprehension, because if
Speaker 1: you look at serial killers and like stuff that they've done,
Speaker 1: you almost want to say, there's no way, God, how
Speaker 1: can you forget? Like, really, all he's got to do
Speaker 1: at the last moment of his life, even after he's
Speaker 1: ted bundied everybody, all he has to do is say
Speaker 1: he accepts Jesus and he gets to go to heaven,
Speaker 1: just like this old lady who's been to church every
Speaker 1: Sunday the last ninety eight years of her life. And
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, that's how it works. Yeah, it's pretty.
Speaker 5: Work, and it's true.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's just such a hard concept for us
Speaker 4: to understand. But I think with when my parents, like
Speaker 4: with my parents in that whole situation and being raised
Speaker 4: by other people and just having this chaotic life and
Speaker 4: all this stuff, like I think for me to be forgiving,
Speaker 4: like you said, was so I was just like, yeah,
Speaker 4: like just I don't care about that, like you're still
Speaker 4: my mom, you know, Like, but to not have that
Speaker 4: reciprocated to me ough like horrid, like horrible. And there
Speaker 4: was only one time in my life I ever did
Speaker 4: that to my mom because my ex husband was like, no,
Speaker 4: she's no, we're done, and I'm like, so I went
Speaker 4: along because we had a small child, and he was like, no,
Speaker 4: we're not dealing with this.
Speaker 5: It's too much.
Speaker 4: And I so regret that time now knowing what my
Speaker 4: daughter's done to me threefold because it's been six years
Speaker 4: and I did that to my mom for basically a
Speaker 4: year and a half. You know, I'm like, Okay, well,
Speaker 4: I would never do that if I could go back
Speaker 4: in time, because I now know the pain that I.
Speaker 5: Cost somebody else.
Speaker 4: This is like something you would never do if you
Speaker 4: knew the other side of it. With anything, it doesn't
Speaker 4: have to be this situation, whatever it is learned. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: and so yeah, forgiveness should be simple. I don't think
Speaker 4: we should make people feel like total pieces of shit
Speaker 4: just because they did something. Like we're all imperfect every
Speaker 4: day and God says we will be. He says, even
Speaker 4: no matter what you try to do, we're going to
Speaker 4: screw it up tomorrow. So just like that's fine. But
Speaker 4: like I've tried to tell my daughter, or my mom
Speaker 4: has at least she's like, don't you think this is
Speaker 4: kind of like a generational curse, because like my mom
Speaker 4: took my daughter and then you know, your daughter's gone
Speaker 4: and now she has a daughter. And my mom tried
Speaker 4: to tell her, like, I don't think you want to
Speaker 4: play this game with your mom really because your kid's
Speaker 4: little right now, but some day it's going to grow
Speaker 4: up and maybe hate you for.
Speaker 6: This, you know.
Speaker 4: And I mean, even if it doesn't, it's just a
Speaker 4: kind of a scary road you're hoeing, you know. Like
Speaker 4: I constantly think about that, and I still am like,
Speaker 4: even though I'm like.
Speaker 5: God, I give it to you, but don't punish her
Speaker 5: like that, right, Like, that's not giving it to God
Speaker 5: because you're still like, you know, let that little mom
Speaker 5: in you that.
Speaker 4: You're like, but don't do that to my kid. And
Speaker 4: is that really giving it over you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: No, that's my biggest one.
Speaker 4: That's my biggest one where I'm like, I have to
Speaker 4: get myself out of my own way, you know, And.
Speaker 1: I literally, yeah, no, for real, Heidi, you need to yeah,
Speaker 1: because I mean, I'm not easier saying it's not difficult.
Speaker 1: But she is not changing her mind anytime soon. So
Speaker 1: you guys to just let that one go. It's going
Speaker 1: to kill you in the process.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think she'll I pretty much, you know,
Speaker 4: and for the first few years, you're like everybody says
Speaker 4: the same shit to you.
Speaker 5: When you tell people this devastating thing.
Speaker 4: That's really awkward because they're like, oh, secretly, they're in
Speaker 4: their mind like she's a piece of ship mom, or
Speaker 4: she's a horrible person, because nobody's kid would do that
Speaker 4: unless they're a piece of ship person. And so you
Speaker 4: live with that knowing that that if somebody told me
Speaker 4: that story before it happened to me, I would think
Speaker 4: the same thing, like, what did that mom?
Speaker 5: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 6: Sari?
Speaker 1: Because it could depend on the guy she got with.
Speaker 1: That's what I was, just a ton of influence over
Speaker 1: how she thinks about you.
Speaker 2: People are are so apt to again like jump to judgment,
Speaker 2: jump to conclusions and whatever, when there's so many more
Speaker 2: personalities to think about and what's going on with them.
Speaker 2: And you know, if he's controlling, why is he controlling?
Speaker 2: Did his parents chain him up as a child or
Speaker 2: was he going through some kind of abuse or trauma
Speaker 2: and his childhood that makes him controlling. The people that
Speaker 2: are the most difficult for like to have forgiveness toward
Speaker 2: other people and stuff usually are people that have that
Speaker 2: control mechanism as a protective thing because of things that
Speaker 2: they've gone through in their life. So you know, you
Speaker 2: can't control somebody else if you're if you're having forgiveness
Speaker 2: for them.
Speaker 4: And honestly, it's like horrible because when you go to
Speaker 4: talk to people about this, people are like, oh, like
Speaker 4: they don't know what to do with it, because they're
Speaker 4: like they know, yeah, they know what to do for
Speaker 4: dead people. They're like, oh, I'm so, I'm so nobody's
Speaker 4: so sorry. They're kind of like, oh, I don't want
Speaker 4: to how's the weather, you know what I mean? And
Speaker 4: then you just kind of like wait a minute, and
Speaker 4: so you don't have resolution. And honestly, like for the
Speaker 4: first three years, people were like, she'll come back, she'll
Speaker 4: come back when she gets married.
Speaker 5: She got married, she'll come back when she has a baby.
Speaker 4: She had a baby, And so now I can see
Speaker 4: what Julia is saying, like, this is probably not going
Speaker 4: to resolve in my lifetime.
Speaker 9: No way.
Speaker 1: Well especially.
Speaker 2: It's except to God, in God's timeline, and if he's
Speaker 2: truly in her heart, if he can change her heart.
Speaker 2: But then again, she's she's married, so her cart could
Speaker 2: be changed. But then she's still got a control mechanism exactly.
Speaker 5: That's why I.
Speaker 2: Got to move into place.
Speaker 1: Let me let me place.
Speaker 4: I want to throw it out there, like when you've
Speaker 4: got a kid, like I understand she can't like throw
Speaker 4: her kid to the wind just to be with me.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, well, here's the thing, because I've been
Speaker 1: in relationships with guys like the one she's married to.
Speaker 1: I was actually married to one my first marriage that
Speaker 1: lasted like six months. As long as he is with her,
Speaker 1: she will not change her mind. If he leaves her
Speaker 1: tomorrow and tells her to get the kicker off, you know,
Speaker 1: she'll be back home. But if that guy is in
Speaker 1: her life in any capacity whatsoever, she will not have
Speaker 1: anything to do with you. Let me just play psychic
Speaker 1: right now. He gets her out of the house. In
Speaker 1: any year their marriages, she won't care because she's gonna
Speaker 1: hate him because he doesn't want anything to do with her,
Speaker 1: and she's gonna come home because she's a freaking options.
Speaker 6: One of the best things that you've done, Heidi, and
Speaker 6: also Janet you did for the longest time was offer
Speaker 6: that unconditional love. Janet, You've got the other end of
Speaker 6: this because your daughter came back right but just Heidi By,
Speaker 6: You've always kept your door open, your arms open.
Speaker 3: And I think that's the best part of it all.
Speaker 5: This that's the maddest ever was at my mom.
Speaker 4: Was when my mom accidentally gave me the phone because
Speaker 4: she was tripping out because she deals with stuff way
Speaker 4: worse than me, and I didn't know what was going on,
Speaker 4: and she just chucked me the phone and lightning struck
Speaker 4: their house.
Speaker 5: I mean, it's not like God hasn't tried to talk
Speaker 5: to them.
Speaker 4: The day they brought their baby home, I was sitting
Speaker 4: at a table and I said, this needs to stop now.
Speaker 4: And lightning struck their house right then. And I only
Speaker 4: know that because we were all sitting at the table
Speaker 4: when my mom answered the phone two seconds later, and
Speaker 4: I was like, what has happened there?
Speaker 5: The house was on fire, and so I was like, whoa,
Speaker 5: this is wild.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 5: My son even got mad at me. He's like, what
Speaker 5: did you do? I'm like, what thing? What are you
Speaker 5: talking about? I was right here with you. He's like,
Speaker 5: you shouldn't talk like that. I'm like, okay.
Speaker 4: All I said was it needs to stop now. And
Speaker 4: everybody jokes and calls it Mormon lightning or whatever.
Speaker 5: It's funny. But and now I see it, yeah, and
Speaker 5: I'm like, Okay, all I can do.
Speaker 4: Is like make a journal for the baby and these
Speaker 4: little things of letting go, like you know, mention it
Speaker 4: on podcasts. So if they say the journal's fake, oh,
Speaker 4: we'll go watch these thousand videos about this, you know,
Speaker 4: cause their plan is they are to tell her that
Speaker 4: I wanted nothing to do with her because I was
Speaker 4: too far away.
Speaker 1: As long as he's in the picture, well something just
Speaker 1: just pray God's will that, you know, if this guy
Speaker 1: is really how he seems to be, that he'll either
Speaker 1: just get out of her life and some you know,
Speaker 1: God forbid it'd be something horrible like she catches him.
Speaker 1: Guys like that are I was.
Speaker 2: Just my God great minds think alike, because I was
Speaker 2: just thinking there have been a lot.
Speaker 3: I'm just I'm.
Speaker 1: Forbid. Right, Let's not hope the guy dies in a
Speaker 1: fire crash or anything but God's will, however, it is
Speaker 1: that he gets out of her life, she'll come back
Speaker 1: around because she'll have zero support system or money and
Speaker 1: she'll need help and you'll be there and you'll forgive
Speaker 1: her and everything will be right his rein. But until then,
Speaker 1: just know half of the thing that she thinks about
Speaker 1: you are coming from him or have been like induced
Speaker 1: by weird things he's planted in her head. Yeah, and I.
Speaker 4: Go, yeah, where you do have to just say to God, like,
Speaker 4: I don't even pray for anything at this point, I
Speaker 4: just pray for God's will to be done, because I
Speaker 4: don't even know anymore.
Speaker 2: I'm just like, well that I want to clare something
Speaker 2: up for for listeners. Not wishing death on the guy,
Speaker 2: but knowing that he is a pilot, right, and God
Speaker 2: works in mysterious ways, and he works his will in
Speaker 2: mysterious ways, and so he can use that or any
Speaker 2: other piece of his life to change his heart. And
Speaker 2: so you know, and it happens to people all the
Speaker 2: time that you know, they're they're atheists, they don't believe
Speaker 2: in God, blah blah blah. They have a near death experience.
Speaker 4: It is right. And even for him if he was
Speaker 4: alive and like was like, hey, I'm just sorry about it,
Speaker 4: let's move on, I totally would right.
Speaker 1: I think he's gonna cheat on her though, because pilots
Speaker 1: are notorious cheaters and guys who are about their wives
Speaker 1: are cheaters, people who like crave control like that, and
Speaker 1: they're always like watching what their wives are doing and
Speaker 1: want to like check their phones and stuff. They're cheating
Speaker 1: and so like he's probably that kind of guy. Oh sure, well,
Speaker 1: just fits the profile. But I'm just saying, you know,
Speaker 1: pray God's will and just literally just bury it and
Speaker 1: don't even because this it's just like anything else in life,
Speaker 1: completely out of our control and worrying about it and
Speaker 1: going to change the outcome.
Speaker 5: Girl, I try to talk about it for the other
Speaker 5: parents that because this is a fad right now.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm saying for you though, because
Speaker 1: you don't want to. I don't want it to cause
Speaker 1: you to like get sick and you know, no, no
Speaker 1: that's over, you know what I mean, because it's like
Speaker 1: she's still controlling your life in a way if you
Speaker 1: let it, take it, take it, take you over.
Speaker 5: My Yeah.
Speaker 4: No, I had to go through the most I mean,
Speaker 4: as many things as I've gone through in my lifetime,
Speaker 4: which is like Janet was like all this stuff always
Speaker 4: happened to me. That is literally the title of my life.
Speaker 4: And I'm always like what the hell, Like did somebody
Speaker 4: ask me once if I killed a priest in my
Speaker 4: former life. I was like, I don't know, maybe maybe
Speaker 4: I did. I'm like, goodness, but you know sometimes you
Speaker 4: do shake your head at it. But then I always think, well,
Speaker 4: maybe this is just because you are supposed to help
Speaker 4: other people. So that's the only reason why I do
Speaker 4: what I do.
Speaker 1: Do you believe in reincarnagis only if I killed a priest?
Speaker 5: That would explain a lot I have.
Speaker 1: If I'm gonna go with that, if I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: I believe in it, I feel like I was Judas
Speaker 1: or something like I must have been a real shad. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I've suffered a lot in this lifetime. Like maybe
Speaker 1: I deserved it. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think I was most closely related to doubting Thomas.
Speaker 2: There you go, right, and it's like, you know, all
Speaker 2: these nudges and stuff in my life along the way
Speaker 2: where God is like do this. I want you to
Speaker 2: do this, not that path, not yours mind, do this,
Speaker 2: And like I would the other way, I didn't pay
Speaker 2: attention to listen to anything he said, and so like
Speaker 2: he put me through all of these trials and tribulations
Speaker 2: and stuff to come out the other side to be like, eh,
Speaker 2: I get it now. You wanted these things so I
Speaker 2: could give testimony and speak on this and help someone else.
Speaker 2: I got you now.
Speaker 5: Yeah right.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like I was saying earlier about like
Speaker 1: how I got really into the astrology stuff, like in
Speaker 1: the mid part of my life. I don't even I
Speaker 1: still to this day don't know what to think of it,
Speaker 1: because I find that some aspects of it could possibly
Speaker 1: be accurate in some way, like God created the stars.
Speaker 1: So let's just say that I find things about like
Speaker 1: Scorpios and Sagittarius and like people in my life, and
Speaker 1: I'll be like, damn, you really remind me of someone,
Speaker 1: and it turns out like they're the same sign or something.
Speaker 1: So I don't know what the you know, science is
Speaker 1: behind it, but something that always reminded me of my
Speaker 1: mom and Janet. They're both Scorpios, and they both did
Speaker 1: that shit like if there were two paths and it
Speaker 1: was like God's saying, choose the right one. They always
Speaker 1: went left, dude, they always went left. And so you know,
Speaker 1: every time I talk to Janet, she reminds me a
Speaker 1: little bit more of my mom all the time. It's
Speaker 1: that scorpio fiery energy, but also super loving, super forgiving,
Speaker 1: humble and non judgmental. My mom was like that too, stubborn, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: And so sometimes I'll like read little sagittarian things and
Speaker 1: we're always like the loud mouths, that unfiltered weirdos that
Speaker 1: are just either you love them or you hate them.
Speaker 1: If you look at the comment section of my podcast,
Speaker 1: very true, and you know, it just to me, I
Speaker 1: don't know what the science is behind it. When she
Speaker 1: said that about always choosing the wrong path, that just
Speaker 1: reminded me of my freaking mom so much.
Speaker 2: Maybe like the the zodiac signs have something to do,
Speaker 2: like if it was closely married to you know, God's
Speaker 2: design or whatever. Maybe it's like like all scorpios have
Speaker 2: these kind of gifts.
Speaker 5: Or guardian angels and these kind.
Speaker 2: Of personalities or whatever. And cancers, well, I've ad this
Speaker 2: kind of thing, and it's because the whole group of
Speaker 2: cancers are supposed to serve this purpose. The whole group
Speaker 2: of Scorpios are supposed to serve this purpose.
Speaker 1: So this is my grand theory right now. You guys
Speaker 1: tell me if this sounds crazy to you. How many
Speaker 1: zodiac signs are there twelve twelve yeah right, how many
Speaker 1: disciples were there? I think that they could possibly represent
Speaker 1: archetypal personalities because if you look at the disciples, they
Speaker 1: were all different and had different like hang ups and
Speaker 1: weird stuff.
Speaker 2: So I was probably the murdery disciple.
Speaker 1: Like literally, like whoever, I think Judas was a sagittarius.
Speaker 1: Like I'm just saying, like I think that each disciple.
Speaker 1: I think there are personality archetypes. I think the twelve
Speaker 1: disciples were picked for a reason. They were chosen for
Speaker 1: a reason, right and there, and that they represent us
Speaker 1: in a way.
Speaker 2: And that's why I said I think like all you know,
Speaker 2: like all scorpios are are to serve this purpose and
Speaker 2: all cancers are to serve this purpose and and whatever.
Speaker 2: It's because like to me, like I'm kind of a
Speaker 2: I'm a pitbull, like don't don't come at my family,
Speaker 2: don't come out a loved one, or you better run.
Speaker 2: But in real life, like I'm literally the nicest, calmest,
Speaker 2: sweetest person want but I can hard. I can sneak
Speaker 2: up and stab you if I need to.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, lock job, Yeah, so that
Speaker 1: I didn't never let go.
Speaker 2: That's why I think with the I think you're onto
Speaker 2: something because all of the disciples had very different personalities,
Speaker 2: very different backgrounds. Like my husband, he's a Gemini, so
Speaker 2: he's definitely my husband, he's definitely Matthew. And as a
Speaker 2: very numbers and you know, strategy and categorically this and that, whatever,
Speaker 2: I can totally see it.
Speaker 4: I know this there's some sort of thing, not just
Speaker 4: because billionaires study the stars.
Speaker 5: There's that quote.
Speaker 4: Plus the Mormon Church has has the Big Dipper on
Speaker 4: every single LDS temple.
Speaker 1: I'm just seeing the constellations are very important and some
Speaker 1: of the like I don't know if it's a Chinese
Speaker 1: zodiac or if it's like the Eastern zodiac has thirteen
Speaker 1: and if you count Jesus then you still you're still
Speaker 1: right on, Like there's still archetypes that are represented. But
Speaker 1: I think that the more you look into it, like
Speaker 1: the stars and like Jesus was born, they always mention
Speaker 1: it right like born under this specific constellation and the
Speaker 1: Three Wise Men followed this star and it was very important.
Speaker 1: And I do think that the Disciples could represent zodiac signs.
Speaker 1: They're always talking about zodiac type of like the Bible
Speaker 1: is so freaking interesting. It's the most interesting book ever written.
Speaker 1: But almost like astrological the water Bearer and like the
Speaker 1: Age of the Fish and the Pisces, and like Jesus
Speaker 1: represented this and Moses represented the ram and it was
Speaker 1: kind of I don't know. I've been thinking, maybe you
Speaker 1: could have the best of both worlds, but I don't
Speaker 1: think you should worship astrology as a type of religion.
Speaker 1: I'm starting to come around to the belief that maybe,
Speaker 1: just maybe it's another tool that you can put in
Speaker 1: your tool bag that can help you make sense more
Speaker 1: sense out of things. But it shouldn't be turned into
Speaker 1: were religion by any means what I think.
Speaker 2: I think it's it's more so like it speaks to
Speaker 2: our uniqueness and the way that God created us, and like,
Speaker 2: like I said before, like what what He gave to
Speaker 2: us gift wise is what we're supposed to use to
Speaker 2: help other people. And so looking back through the Bible
Speaker 2: and all the instances where God talks about scorpios aka snakes.
Speaker 2: Funny that I'm a scorpio and to a snake because
Speaker 2: I hate snakes, you know what I'm saying. But it's
Speaker 2: like I think it is literally just I think it's
Speaker 2: interwoven in the Bible and like you said, talking about
Speaker 2: you know, like the pisces and the water signs and
Speaker 2: all the water discussions. That's why one of the episodes
Speaker 2: we definitely need to go over Jonah Book two because man,
Speaker 2: I've got some things to say about that as many
Speaker 2: times as I've read it, and it just hit me
Speaker 2: like a brick wall the other day and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I just got something out of that that I've never
Speaker 2: gotten in all my years on the earth. So there
Speaker 2: you go.
Speaker 1: From the Jonahs story. Yes, that's interesting because you know,
Speaker 1: it's like one of those childhood stories and they have
Speaker 1: like the little drawings of Jonah getting swallowed by the whale,
Speaker 1: and I mean.
Speaker 2: It holds very deep significance when you reread it with
Speaker 2: a fresh mind. And like I said, after hearing that
Speaker 2: story and reading that story like literally my entire life,
Speaker 2: and it wasn't until the other day I'm like, oh, wow,
Speaker 2: Like God just rebuilt some knowledge to me that like
Speaker 2: was an eye my head before.
Speaker 1: Dude, I'm looking forward to it. That's how I felt
Speaker 1: about the That's how I felt about the Genesis story
Speaker 1: when I went back and reread it with new eyes,
Speaker 1: and I put that as part of my adulthood scriptures
Speaker 1: because I hated him so much, and then I ended
Speaker 1: up loning them completely. And you know Josh Monday, I'm
Speaker 1: sure you're familiar with him, and he really He and
Speaker 1: I did an episode together and it was the first
Speaker 1: time I had ever seen someone use the Bible to
Speaker 1: prove flat earth, and he blew my mind on it.
Speaker 1: And then I met Gary Wayne, who wrote the Genesis
Speaker 1: six Conspiracy. We did several episodes together, blew my mind
Speaker 1: and you know, conspiracy and the Bible has strengthened, you know,
Speaker 1: my faith in all this time spin.
Speaker 5: The important books out. They took out the Book of Enoch.
Speaker 4: They took out all these books and and they're like, oh,
Speaker 4: you don't need to see that, or they cherry.
Speaker 1: Pick stuff, right, Yeah, they cherry pick it. And they also,
Speaker 1: you know, to me, if the Earth is flat, and
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know because I've never seen it,
Speaker 1: I'll let all I can do is go base like,
Speaker 1: if you look at the world through the filter of
Speaker 1: the Bible and it appears that it's flat, I think
Speaker 1: that it makes it even more special and amazing. What
Speaker 1: he created, and so I think that there's there's so
Speaker 1: much that we don't know, and and there's been such
Speaker 1: an effort to get us to not even believe our
Speaker 1: own eyes, Like you not even believe our own eyes
Speaker 1: and just just absolute holographic images and kaid into our
Speaker 1: brain of this round thing that were. And if no,
Speaker 1: if you, if you don't want to look at any
Speaker 1: other scripture and you're not interested in that angle, just
Speaker 1: think of this water always finds its level. You're not
Speaker 1: gonna convincing me that we're on a round ball. And
Speaker 1: then like butterflies can fly, but like we're glued to
Speaker 1: the earth, and like how does that work?
Speaker 2: Because butterflies you don't know this about them, but they
Speaker 2: are uber heavy.
Speaker 3: Jannet can I can last screen share. Okay, just real quick.
Speaker 3: This is so much fun.
Speaker 6: Because this is where I ended up because I had
Speaker 6: a couple, like you know, growing up and stuff.
Speaker 3: But let me do this.
Speaker 1: Is this from your adult chapter?
Speaker 3: I did? This is the adult one, but yeah, of
Speaker 3: course it was that.
Speaker 5: I love it.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 6: So the firmament of the heavens divide the day from
Speaker 6: the night for signs, seasons and days and years, and
Speaker 6: for me.
Speaker 3: That's where the sun shows the hours, the moon shows.
Speaker 6: The moons, the months, and then the constellations, so the years,
Speaker 6: and for me, the constellations.
Speaker 3: If you think of a.
Speaker 6: Was the the strainer, like what is the calender.
Speaker 3: That I thought?
Speaker 6: If you like a little X someplace on the side
Speaker 6: of a calender, turn upside down and spin it.
Speaker 3: That's the way the stars move.
Speaker 6: They all move around like the calenders, if you just
Speaker 6: turn the calender on a flatter And then the other
Speaker 6: one saw him, one of four or five. He set
Speaker 6: the earth on its foundation. It can never be moved.
Speaker 6: The last one, I uh well, Isaiah forty twenty two.
Speaker 6: He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth circle
Speaker 6: like a record or like a quarter of pizza, as
Speaker 6: people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like
Speaker 6: a canopy and spreads them out like a tent.
Speaker 3: To live in.
Speaker 6: And then the heavens declare the glory of God and
Speaker 6: the firmament show with his handywork.
Speaker 2: That's on Werner.
Speaker 3: Von Braun's tombstone. Who worked. He was Nazi, you guys
Speaker 3: know that already.
Speaker 5: And then he was also in a Mormon theological film.
Speaker 3: Anyway, oh righty, and this was fun.
Speaker 6: I think of the Hell Lie oh Sin trick, heliocentric Hell.
Speaker 6: It was centric versus the Bible, and I can I
Speaker 6: don't know if you guys can see this, but like
Speaker 6: the Tower of Babel Boom, look at how how else
Speaker 6: would it the Jacob's ladder, How would it work on
Speaker 6: a spinning while a star's falling to Earth? How could
Speaker 6: that happen on a ball Jesus ascending and descending bottomless pit?
Speaker 6: You know what they've only they've only dug what's seven
Speaker 6: point nine miles into the crust of the Earth.
Speaker 3: But they know it's in the center.
Speaker 6: They know it's in the center of Jupiter now and
Speaker 6: all that's just ridiculous.
Speaker 3: And the waters above.
Speaker 6: The firmament see tree fills the Earth. I mean, if
Speaker 6: it's inside of if it's inside of a dome, sun
Speaker 6: stars and from him. That's why I think of like
Speaker 6: the calendar.
Speaker 3: So I love that. But that's so much fun that
Speaker 3: you did that so.
Speaker 6: Well.
Speaker 1: And here's another one. If we're flying through space and
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to turn this into a flatter Earth episode,
Speaker 1: but I love where you're going because this is exactly
Speaker 1: how I feel if we're flying through space right into
Speaker 1: infinite nothingness. Why have the constellations been the same since
Speaker 1: the beginning of time? How come like ancient Egyptians were
Speaker 1: building stuff like under Orion's belt and it's still there,
Speaker 1: we can still see it, Like wouldn't it be like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: that's a constellation they had when they were in that
Speaker 1: part of the galaxy and those were the stars that
Speaker 1: they could see. And now we've you know, over thousands
Speaker 1: of years, we're so far away from those constellations, but
Speaker 1: they're not. They're the same. It's like they're in here
Speaker 1: with us and they've never moved and they're never going anywhere. Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it's just.
Speaker 3: What's it expanding into right right?
Speaker 1: And it's it makes you feel insignificant that way, which
Speaker 1: is of course by design.
Speaker 3: And this is really gross. I hope this is because
Speaker 3: Julia's hero.
Speaker 6: This is okay, But I had heard this is so gross.
Speaker 6: But I had heard the Big Bang theory. It was
Speaker 6: a Jesuit pre George Lamite let me and they said,
Speaker 6: I don't know how to say this politely.
Speaker 3: Julia can say this for me.
Speaker 1: The Big Park an asshole, The.
Speaker 3: Big Bang theory. They said it represents a guy.
Speaker 1: Nutting all over us.
Speaker 6: Gross.
Speaker 3: I mean, like they all it is all like.
Speaker 6: This, right, They all start from you and you just
Speaker 6: go like that, right, And I was like, oh, that's
Speaker 6: so that goes right along with everything else that's gross
Speaker 6: about all that stuff.
Speaker 1: Of course it is. I think Darwin was also an asshole,
Speaker 1: and like, you're never gonna convince me. Even the guy
Speaker 1: who who discovered the double helix shape in the DNA,
Speaker 1: his name was like Francis Creek or something like that.
Speaker 1: He was like, it doesn't come from here. I don't
Speaker 1: know where it comes from, but it's not it doesn't
Speaker 1: come from here. And he thought we were extraterrestrials because
Speaker 1: he couldn't figure it out. He was like, well, there's
Speaker 1: literally nothing to explain where we get human DNA from.
Speaker 1: And of course it's because it came from God and
Speaker 1: we're divine creatures. But you're never going to convince me
Speaker 1: we evolved from like toads and apes and shit like that.
Speaker 1: Like right now, sorry, you're not gonna You're never going
Speaker 1: to convince me of that.
Speaker 5: Ever.
Speaker 2: I just want to say to that end, like Okay,
Speaker 2: we were all supposed to have evolved from a speck
Speaker 2: of dust. There's literally dust that comes on my floor
Speaker 2: on my woodlor a the time. I brace single day,
Speaker 2: and it hasn't made me a new cat or a
Speaker 2: new dog or a goat or anything. So I don't
Speaker 2: buy into that theory, right, and think about that didn't happen.
Speaker 1: If evolution was a thing, then why do we still
Speaker 1: have like apes and shit?
Speaker 5: Why do we say?
Speaker 4: One time, I do believe in not evolution but an
Speaker 4: actual DNA corruption happened after Roswell with the introduction of
Speaker 4: the RH factor, and I do think that it was
Speaker 4: angelic h fallen angel magic basically, and I do think
Speaker 4: they messed with us. I do because it's never happened
Speaker 4: before or since. To your point, why is there not
Speaker 4: two hundred blood types now?
Speaker 5: Why? I want to know, because it only.
Speaker 4: Happened one f in time, and and then nobody knew
Speaker 4: what to do about it, and they were like, oh damn,
Speaker 4: what do we do with this? And then everybody just
Speaker 4: starts dying because my grandma was talking about negative it
Speaker 4: did in nineteen forty eight.
Speaker 1: You know what's okay?
Speaker 2: You know what's uper interesting about the RH stuff is
Speaker 2: that there are people that because of the alleles that
Speaker 2: they possess, they can go in for lab work at
Speaker 2: one particular time and it will say that they are
Speaker 2: URGE positive, right, and then they go in another time
Speaker 2: for lab work and somehow they're RH negative. Your blood
Speaker 2: type doesn't normally change, but that has been happening in
Speaker 2: recent recorded history, where people that were always like AB
Speaker 2: negative or something are now just like AB positive.
Speaker 1: Is this very weird post COVID shot.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I was just gonna.
Speaker 2: Ask that a little bit pre but but mostly post stuff.
Speaker 2: And I wonder if it.
Speaker 5: Doesn't have to do with the nineteen thirty eight sorries with.
Speaker 2: The genetic manipulation from this.
Speaker 5: I think it does.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: I do a whole episodes on this. I think that
Speaker 4: they know things and they're I think there is direct
Speaker 4: contact with these things in the underground.
Speaker 5: I think they stay under.
Speaker 4: There, and I think the Mormons know all about it,
Speaker 4: and I do all kinds of episodes on the fact
Speaker 4: that I think they like, think of this, you guys, like,
Speaker 4: I know this is getting weird, sorry, but like when
Speaker 4: you go have a hysterectomy, who takes all your eggs?
Speaker 4: Who takes ship in there and where does all that go? Right?
Speaker 2: They sell it off.
Speaker 1: But they also do stuff like when you and I'm
Speaker 1: not saying I'm not judging you if you've had an abortion,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, where do you think that goes right
Speaker 1: of it? If you've had a miscarriage and you have
Speaker 1: to get a d n C, where do you think
Speaker 1: that can They didn't ask me anything when I got
Speaker 1: the d n C.
Speaker 2: And send forms that you sign at the hospital you have.
Speaker 5: To specify if you want yes the beating.
Speaker 1: I was already so doped up by the time they
Speaker 1: gave me those consent forms. I wasn't reading that ship
Speaker 1: and I was also bleeding out, So it's like here, yeah,
Speaker 1: sign this, and you know, so obviously they're doing stuff
Speaker 1: with that. They do the hill pricks, you know, on
Speaker 1: all the babies and stuff all of your foot on
Speaker 1: your Yeah, they bleed your baby out. It's a blood ritual.
Speaker 1: They're literally bleeding them out, like and they haven't even
Speaker 1: been on the earth for two days and they're already
Speaker 1: like milking blood out of their foot.
Speaker 5: Come on, come on, it's a whole.
Speaker 4: And then the DNA well, the genealogy centers for the
Speaker 4: church I've showed a million times.
Speaker 5: They're the size of a letter box, not a file
Speaker 5: box like you.
Speaker 4: Would think if this is genealogy work and they've got
Speaker 4: all these drawers that there would be either computer type
Speaker 4: stuff drawers tiny or like big for files. No, none
Speaker 4: of that, you know, And they have these tiny little
Speaker 4: drawers that are a letterbox size.
Speaker 5: Well that's what the pKas look like.
Speaker 4: I've done a hundred million of them, I don't know
Speaker 4: how many, and so you know, but there's carbon copies.
Speaker 5: The state gets one, but the other one goes somewhere
Speaker 5: else and they don't tell you where. Just a lab
Speaker 5: a lab.
Speaker 4: Well, I find it interesting that the Mormon Church owns
Speaker 4: a ton, if not most, of the labs in the US.
Speaker 5: So, I mean it's concerning.
Speaker 4: You know, a lot of it came through when with
Speaker 4: the whole Howard Hughes thing and you know they when
Speaker 4: they put all their stuff on the computer, and they
Speaker 4: did it underneath his company.
Speaker 5: In fact, he was livid when he found out about it.
Speaker 4: But I don't you know this stuff, Yeah, yeah, it's
Speaker 4: crazy creepy. But what I'm saying is, I you know,
Speaker 4: no matter what, like when we start looking at this stuff.
Speaker 5: We get back to the days of Noah. This is
Speaker 5: the point I was going to bring up.
Speaker 4: Is we get back to why God wiped everything you know,
Speaker 4: and why he was so wrasful.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but what I love is that when they did
Speaker 6: Oh Jesus was peaceful and calm and quiet and stuff
Speaker 6: like that. He got mad when he started flipping the
Speaker 6: tables and stuff.
Speaker 3: That's what gets me pumped up. That's like, we are
Speaker 3: here to fight too. We are not.
Speaker 4: They make us, and especially feel like with as women,
Speaker 4: and I get judged for this. This is one of
Speaker 4: the reasons why my kid won't talk to me is
Speaker 4: because I am an angry person. But I'm also only
Speaker 4: angry for like five point nine seconds, Like yes, I
Speaker 4: yelled for that five point nine seconds, like.
Speaker 5: What the hell are you doing?
Speaker 4: And then I'm like over it. But every emotion that
Speaker 4: we are programmed to have as human beings are there
Speaker 4: for a reason. We're not supposed to be freaking nice
Speaker 4: asshole Mormon guy down the road all the time, weirdly
Speaker 4: talking in a sing song mk ultra voice. No no,
Speaker 4: I say, no, I say. We're supposed to have emotions,
Speaker 4: and I'm not going to be programmed yeah, the.
Speaker 3: Most powerful sense.
Speaker 2: Well, and that goes back to like the the you know,
Speaker 2: zodiac and stuff like that, and how we all have
Speaker 2: very unique structures about us and what we're supposed to
Speaker 2: carry out because not everybody is going to be able
Speaker 2: to have that voice and stick up for people and
Speaker 2: tell people because it's.
Speaker 5: Hard to do, yeah, to tell people, tell.
Speaker 2: People what they need to hear, not what they want
Speaker 2: to hear. And that's like my thing. So that's why, like,
Speaker 2: obviously I'm the murderous disciple because you know, I'm like,
Speaker 2: who was that?
Speaker 5: I can? I can?
Speaker 2: I can murder drawn my words when I need to,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. But you know other people
Speaker 2: that that that are very like analytical and methodical and
Speaker 2: they're thinking, but they're very meal and quiet. Well, like
Speaker 2: my husband would not he would not to fly.
Speaker 5: One thing before we move on.
Speaker 4: The reason why I brought up emotion is because I
Speaker 4: think they're doing that to us to make the NPCs,
Speaker 4: like the weird people they create, fit in better because
Speaker 4: they can't do it. They don't have what we have.
Speaker 4: They don't have like this emotion.
Speaker 5: If you ever listened to Bill Gates or like Zuckerberg,
Speaker 5: talk like you're like, what is what is wrong with you?
Speaker 5: It's so that they can fit in better.
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, to like make make you like an
Speaker 1: emotional cripple because I get upset, I get mad, I
Speaker 1: become impassioned and has years. Yeah right, yeah, And you
Speaker 1: know they referred to Jesus also as the lion of Judah.
Speaker 1: And also you have to you have to understand that
Speaker 1: men followed Jesus because he was a man's man. If
Speaker 1: he was a pussy whipped little crippled, you know, no respect,
Speaker 1: you you know, men aren't going to have He had
Speaker 1: to be that way. He was a man's man, you know.
Speaker 1: And so I think, you know, I find a lot
Speaker 1: of stories where Jesus is like kind of being a dick.
Speaker 5: Like bro like not bro.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will say this because I am a leo.
Speaker 5: And yes, the lion was always referred to as Jesus
Speaker 5: was the lion, I know, and the lamb. It is
Speaker 5: not the wolf.
Speaker 3: It's not.
Speaker 5: Out of us. On that one, I was crazy.
Speaker 3: Because you're a couple of you guys have brought up already.
Speaker 6: That was like, oh that was so bizarre that it
Speaker 6: switched now is weird?
Speaker 5: When I heard that one.
Speaker 4: I immediately believed John Kirwin's whole thing after that.
Speaker 1: The Lion and the Lamb.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think every person that that I've heard
Speaker 2: him ask the on their show, they have all had the.
Speaker 1: Lion and the Lamb. They put that in Twilight, dude,
Speaker 1: and I remember it because they said so, Edward Colin
Speaker 1: said so and that.
Speaker 5: But you know who wrote a couple two? A Mormon? Mormon?
Speaker 1: Yes, I knew there was something wrong with her.
Speaker 4: I know, really look at that story again, it is
Speaker 4: completely creepy, and I think it's like a whole thing
Speaker 4: about like.
Speaker 5: Why they know neflom gods like I really do. But
Speaker 5: that's just me.
Speaker 1: And apparently they glitter in the sun, which is super gye.
Speaker 1: But I have one. I actually have two things in
Speaker 1: my adult I already mentioned the flat earth thing. I
Speaker 1: already mentioned the genesis and the Nephelin thing something because
Speaker 1: I'm an adult now haha. So this is a now
Speaker 1: is Hannah's prayer and I just have in my notes
Speaker 1: real quick, I said in the Bible, Hannah prayed to
Speaker 1: God for a son and promise to dedicate him to
Speaker 1: God if he was born. And Hannah gave birth to Samuel,
Speaker 1: which means asked of God, and Samuel became a prophet
Speaker 1: and a priest who anointed King David and foretold the
Speaker 1: coming of the Messiah. And to me, Hannah's prayer is
Speaker 1: a reminder that God answers prayers. But more importantly, even
Speaker 1: when you feel like you're desperate and the future is bleak,
Speaker 1: God's timing is perfect and his delays are not denials, right,
Speaker 1: and so just because it doesn't happen when you think
Speaker 1: it should happen or when you want it to happen,
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that it won't. And I have been
Speaker 1: really really moved by Hannah's prayer and as an adult,
Speaker 1: and I think it's it's one of the ones that
Speaker 1: people don't really remember that often, but it's really inspirational.
Speaker 2: And I love that you picked that out because there's
Speaker 2: so many people that that pray with all their might
Speaker 2: for you know, a child, or you know, X, y Z,
Speaker 2: whatever it is, and they get so frustrated and down
Speaker 2: and doubting because they're not getting what they want when
Speaker 2: they want. But the reason why and I have this
Speaker 2: discussion with one of our friends a lot, is you know,
Speaker 2: she really wants a child, and I'm like, but the
Speaker 2: way the situation is now is not conducive to God's
Speaker 2: will to have that child at this particular moment because
Speaker 2: of all these other circumstances around it.
Speaker 1: Are they obvious circumstances or is it like you might
Speaker 1: not even know, Well.
Speaker 2: It's obvious.
Speaker 1: It's obvious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so it's like you know, and I always
Speaker 2: trying to tell her. I'm like, so when God moves
Speaker 2: you out of those external, serious circumstances, then his will
Speaker 2: can be done. But right now is not the right
Speaker 2: timing because of all of these other things.
Speaker 5: I think that that's so oh sorry, do you want
Speaker 5: to go?
Speaker 1: Oh no, I was just gonna say. You know what
Speaker 1: sucks about that is because if you, Janet, would have
Speaker 1: told me that the first time I came on your
Speaker 1: podcast and I talked about my miscarriage, I would have
Speaker 1: listened to you, and I would have respected you. My
Speaker 1: heart still would have been broken, and I would still
Speaker 1: have a hard time accepting that from you, because I
Speaker 1: would just want what I want and think that I'd
Speaker 1: be a good mom no matter what. And I the
Speaker 1: stuff that has happened to me in the last year,
Speaker 1: I'm so glad it didn't happen then with that person,
Speaker 1: because I would I felt pulled in a direction away
Speaker 1: from that Even though I wanted that baby more than
Speaker 1: I wanted life. I was obsessed with it, and I
Speaker 1: was so excited looking at my situation now and being
Speaker 1: so grateful that I was obedient when he pulled me away.
Speaker 1: I'm much more happy and grateful for this situation and
Speaker 1: much more able to receive those blessings now. But if
Speaker 1: you would have told me what was it like a
Speaker 1: year ago that I would need to get out and
Speaker 1: do get in a different situation and I would have
Speaker 1: needed to change, I would have said, I respect you,
Speaker 1: but you know this. My heart is broken. I feel
Speaker 1: in despair. I feel depressed, and you know, why can't
Speaker 1: I just have it now? And it's like I said,
Speaker 1: his delays are not always denials, And if you feel
Speaker 1: pulled in a certain direction, it doesn't mean it won't
Speaker 1: happen for you. But you have to be obedient and
Speaker 1: you have to surrender, and then you have to crave.
Speaker 2: You have to run. When he tells you to run,
Speaker 2: you should I go.
Speaker 3: There's a straight line, and Janet's going around this way.
Speaker 5: She's doing a circle taking the long.
Speaker 2: Way around because I need the exercise. I'm gonna get there.
Speaker 3: My ally.
Speaker 2: Now, I listened, but I had I think it was
Speaker 2: hard a hearing for like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's an acquired skill. It's an acquired skill. What were
Speaker 1: you going to say?
Speaker 4: Oh, I was just gonna say with my daughters, and
Speaker 4: she's the one I've had the most trouble with about parenting, right,
Speaker 4: And and I was a child having a child. But
Speaker 4: despite that fact, we had you know, being Mormon, you're
Speaker 4: immediately trying to have a child. And I couldn't have
Speaker 4: a kid because I had PCOS and I didn't know
Speaker 4: I did, and I didn't know anything about all this stuff.
Speaker 4: So then they found out and it was I was
Speaker 4: like you, I was pushing for like a solid year.
Speaker 4: I was on clomad back then. They didn't like make
Speaker 4: a rule about CAPTA.
Speaker 5: I was. I was shocked when I heard this.
Speaker 4: I was on five clomates a day for like a year,
Speaker 4: like not all the time, but in the cycle time frame.
Speaker 4: And they did this for all this time because they
Speaker 4: knew it was really that my hormones were really all wacko.
Speaker 4: But and it was the one child that I forced.
Speaker 4: None of my other children have been a forceful situation.
Speaker 4: And I almost wonder if God was like I was
Speaker 4: gonna do that anyway, if you just calmed down, and
Speaker 4: maybe I would have been a better parent had I
Speaker 4: had a little more years under my belt, right like
Speaker 4: or not with him or whatever.
Speaker 1: And it's and it's easy to say, like, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: look at crackheads and homeless people get pregnant, look at
Speaker 1: the situations there, and you don't know what God has
Speaker 1: planned for that, right something it changes their whole life
Speaker 1: under or it can save them, It can save them,
Speaker 1: you know. And also you don't know what that child
Speaker 1: is going to do or or be or you just
Speaker 1: absolutely and maybe the homeless crackhead person has at least
Speaker 1: a decent conscience and maybe they're maybe to their sister.
Speaker 2: Or that's going to change that persian's trajectory and they're
Speaker 2: gonna get off the street and they're going to you know,
Speaker 2: to change their life. And that's why I'm so glad
Speaker 2: that that you brought that up, Julia, because there's so
Speaker 2: many things that we want for our lives, but God
Speaker 2: knows better, right, and so like, ah, I'm gonna be
Speaker 2: so devastating and crushed if I don't get this job.
Speaker 2: But you know what he and that's why I've had
Speaker 2: to have this conversation with my husband, like so many times.
Speaker 2: I'm like, he is moving you like a chess piece
Speaker 2: where he wants you. And God does not ever slam
Speaker 2: a door without opening a new one, right, And I'm like, so,
Speaker 2: if you don't get that job, it is because he
Speaker 2: does not need you there at that time. He is
Speaker 2: going to move you into the place that you are
Speaker 2: meant to be. And right, It's taken me my whole
Speaker 2: life to like get these things.
Speaker 4: When he says in the scripture about lie down in
Speaker 4: green pastures, and I learned this the hard way. I'm sorry,
Speaker 4: but I did because I'm the girl that's like, no,
Speaker 4: I don't care, I have cancer.
Speaker 5: I'm going to work tomorrow like whatever. And so they're like, oh,
Speaker 5: you can't do that.
Speaker 4: You're gonna kill yourself, like and so I was just
Speaker 4: really stubborn that way. I was like, no, I'm fine,
Speaker 4: I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Speaker 5: You know all the time. I don't need to rest.
Speaker 4: I feel like that scripture is about two things and
Speaker 4: it isn't what people think. It's about submission and it's
Speaker 4: about giving in right to God to He's telling you
Speaker 4: certain things like if he maketh you, that is the
Speaker 4: word used, maketh you not ask, if you not suggestif
Speaker 4: you like he says in there, he's going to make you.
Speaker 5: Lie down in green pastures. Okay.
Speaker 4: That means you are not learning something that you really need.
Speaker 4: And for my adulthood, yes, this has been like my
Speaker 4: thing that I needed to learn because I literally made
Speaker 4: myself sick and still have to rein myself back sometimes
Speaker 4: doing doing doing doing for anyone that possibly came into
Speaker 4: my path, and oftentimes to my own detriment.
Speaker 5: And you cannot do that.
Speaker 2: He's got a bonk you over the head with a
Speaker 2: frying pan.
Speaker 5: Get pretty much gotta give me, can?
Speaker 6: I told Dan I just read to Janet. I was like,
Speaker 6: I think I fanned out in the middle. I'm like
Speaker 6: watching you guys, and.
Speaker 3: Just so and and engrossed in the conversation.
Speaker 6: And when is it when you were talking about Janet
Speaker 6: and like what you've learned from her and the biggest
Speaker 6: thing I've learned And she said people want to be
Speaker 6: heard and that was something I've taken away and instead
Speaker 6: of they said people, instead of listening, they're formulating their response.
Speaker 6: And so I have this is months ago that you
Speaker 6: said this, Janet, and all the conversations. I really try
Speaker 6: to actually listen to what people are saying because they
Speaker 6: want to get this out, they want to share, okay.
Speaker 6: And then the second thing was my grandfather. He was
Speaker 6: an ob g I n and he was the picture.
Speaker 6: Yeah he's but the way he handled it when there
Speaker 6: was when a baby didn't make it or if there
Speaker 6: are miscarriage or something, the way he'd helped try to
Speaker 6: help the little mothers, the new mothers was saying that
Speaker 6: maybe the baby wasn't strong and because so it helped
Speaker 6: take it off of them all the you know, if
Speaker 6: theyre or what if I had done something differently, if
Speaker 6: I had tried this orf I'd been more careful, if
Speaker 6: I'd known earlier, if I'd been healthier, or anything like that,
Speaker 6: instead of being themselves up, Peter around and he.
Speaker 3: Said, this may have been because a baby wouldn't have
Speaker 3: been strong enough.
Speaker 4: And sometimes that is true a genetically, that's a real thing.
Speaker 4: And I will tell you to your grandpa's credit, Obi,
Speaker 4: I've been a nurse twenty five years, and for most
Speaker 4: of my career I've been in mostly critical nursing like
Speaker 4: ER or step down PCU or whatever. And for a
Speaker 4: while I had this weird hiatus into the nick you
Speaker 4: and Ellen d And it is the one place where
Speaker 4: I cannot work because of the demises. I cannot leave
Speaker 4: that there. That and Pede's I cannot do. But even
Speaker 4: still with Petes, that child came into that person's life
Speaker 4: and blessed it, and they knew them, and they had
Speaker 4: their spirit and they know them.
Speaker 5: Whereas a baby, it is this whole of like what
Speaker 5: what was it? What is it? What? What was that?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 4: And maybe that's because my great grandma was RH negative
Speaker 4: before they knew she had not only three demises, she
Speaker 4: had three full term blood poisoning demises. Because they didn't know,
Speaker 4: and it was it was that long ago, you know,
Speaker 4: no cure, no rogam, nothing back then. It actually made
Speaker 4: her be able to have a baby normally with him
Speaker 4: because it introduced into her bloodstream enough with the decay
Speaker 4: that eventually it stopped attacking because her body got used
Speaker 4: to it, and so my family was able to be born.
Speaker 6: Man.
Speaker 1: But like she is, she is more brave to continue
Speaker 1: trying after like it, I mean even for me, you know,
Speaker 1: the and I told Heidia and Janet separately about this,
Speaker 1: but the experience I went through, I was like, what
Speaker 1: do you because nobody knows what to do after you
Speaker 1: have a miscarriage like that, because you usually you have
Speaker 1: like a body to bury, and there's all these rituals
Speaker 1: of saying goodbye and like everybody's real sad, and if
Speaker 1: you have a miscarri just like people get weird around you,
Speaker 1: and again what to say? And yeah, it's like just
Speaker 1: try again, and it's you know, it's very You go
Speaker 1: back to work and like nobody knows if they should
Speaker 1: hug you or mention it at all or just go
Speaker 1: back to life as normal, like it never existed. And
Speaker 1: it's a really hard. So for a year you said
Speaker 1: it was your grandma. How many great bands? Three?
Speaker 4: So the three full term all the way to eight
Speaker 4: and a half, almost she thought she was just in
Speaker 4: labor and to deliver a baby that's been dead a month.
Speaker 5: It was already decomposing.
Speaker 4: She had full blown blood poisoning, which is why she
Speaker 4: was able to have a baby eventually, because nothing changed
Speaker 4: in her lifetime.
Speaker 5: No rogram you know. And I remember hearing.
Speaker 4: Those stories as a kid, and maybe that's why I
Speaker 4: take it too personal to be in labor and delivery.
Speaker 4: It only took me maybe a dozen babies that passed
Speaker 4: till I was just like, I can't do this. I
Speaker 4: can't see another mom's face ever again and be the
Speaker 4: one and you can't tell them doing the heartbeat check
Speaker 4: and you know the truth and you.
Speaker 5: Have to wait till the doctor comes. I could. I
Speaker 5: was it, just it. I couldn't do it.
Speaker 2: It's a very difficult place to work.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was too much, It wasn't it. And I burst.
Speaker 1: It's like, that's why it's the hardest when you're dealing
Speaker 1: with a woman who's who wants to get pregnant, Like
Speaker 1: that's the hardest person to convince that it'll happen in
Speaker 1: God's time or however. Because for me, it's like I
Speaker 1: could smell a baby on the other side of a wall,
Speaker 1: like I would not. I could just I was aware
Speaker 1: of babies, like I want one so bad, and it
Speaker 1: consumes you the thought of it, and to like see
Speaker 1: other people getting pregnant makes you want to like freaking
Speaker 1: rip their jugglers out. And I mean it's just it's
Speaker 1: the weirdest feeling and you can't be consoled because it's like,
Speaker 1: you know that there's this little soul floating around somewhere
Speaker 1: and it's supposed to be yours and you're supposed to
Speaker 1: be its mom, and you're supposed to have this experience
Speaker 1: and do this, and it's just not happening, And like,
Speaker 1: how do you console that person? I don't know. I
Speaker 1: was inconsolable. I don't want to hear shit from anybody.
Speaker 6: But another thing is you're not you don't It's not
Speaker 6: too late. I mean most circumstances, a lot of circumstances.
Speaker 6: I didn't have our daughter until I was thirty four
Speaker 6: and she's twenty one now, so I mean that was
Speaker 6: a long wait, and that was waiting for the right
Speaker 6: person at the right time. I did the career, I
Speaker 6: did everything like that, and then when we were actually
Speaker 6: I moved to Vegas had a job that I hated.
Speaker 6: I had been with the MS fire law enforcement of
Speaker 6: public Services, started working with the military guys and we
Speaker 6: do not see the same way.
Speaker 3: And they were arrogant. It was a lot of the.
Speaker 6: The elite, and they would let you know and they
Speaker 6: were just I mean, I've never met a bigger class
Speaker 6: of jackasses in my life.
Speaker 4: Like I tell, like I tell Janet, my son in
Speaker 4: law is very important. Just ask him like those people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 6: So as soon as I quit the job, my husband
Speaker 6: I've been met, we got married in Vegas, and I
Speaker 6: had this job just like a holding point. And as
Speaker 6: soon as I quit that job, I got pregnant. So
Speaker 6: it was one of those things kind of like you know,
Speaker 6: where the situation changes and your whole demeanor, your whole everything.
Speaker 6: So in even age, they were while they were concerned
Speaker 6: about my age all that kind.
Speaker 3: Of stuff, and it was nothing. It was just easy.
Speaker 2: That's that's the thing though.
Speaker 3: There you go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I was done way before that. I was surprised, said,
Speaker 2: it's like, like there's no consoling somebody that that wants
Speaker 2: to have a baby, because that's that's, you know, the
Speaker 2: desire that God puts on your heart, that that you
Speaker 2: are supposed to be a mother, that's what you're here for.
Speaker 2: But at the same time, babies also do not survive
Speaker 2: in a high stress environment, especially internally in the mom
Speaker 2: you know, And and that's one thing it's really hard
Speaker 2: to get people to understand that want to conceive, but
Speaker 2: that are in the middle of literally a twenty four
Speaker 2: or seven chaos storm in their life. God wants that
Speaker 2: gone before he's going to let you conceive, because the
Speaker 2: chances of you being able to keep that baby while
Speaker 2: you're living in that chaos storm are very very slim.
Speaker 1: Very slim. And it's like tam tam uh, you know,
Speaker 1: was it worth the weight.
Speaker 5: Your I think your beauty.
Speaker 6: She's a dream. She's my best friend. I mean, she
Speaker 6: is amazing. She's twenty one, she knows twenty two now February.
Speaker 6: She's so smart. She was homeschooled. We had a blast.
Speaker 6: I grew up with her. I still am waiting to
Speaker 6: grow up.
Speaker 1: I'm still.
Speaker 3: She was way more mature than I am.
Speaker 1: And that's what I'm saying, though, It's like, yeah, it happened,
Speaker 1: maybe later than you wanted it to or expected it to,
Speaker 1: but it was worth the way and you still She's
Speaker 1: still here. And it happened when it was, you know,
Speaker 1: supposed to happen and who it was supposed to happen with,
Speaker 1: And I think that who is also important, and it was.
Speaker 3: It was my third marriage, so first and best friends second.
Speaker 5: One, it was a charm. I'm here to tell you.
Speaker 1: Absolutely time it's a charm, isn't it?
Speaker 6: Well I definitely was, But how do you tell your
Speaker 6: younger self that, no, it's really it's going to work
Speaker 6: out for twenty four years now?
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Same with my baby that came super late at thirty seven,
Speaker 4: even though she was not planned, and it was totally
Speaker 4: like I was like, you check that again, Like I
Speaker 4: was so like, holy crap, because I didn't think it
Speaker 4: could happen anymore because we had all these problems and stuff.
Speaker 4: And after now seeing what kind of parents we are
Speaker 4: to the who what you're saying about the who, Like,
Speaker 4: I don't know that me and my husband would have
Speaker 4: stayed together if we didn't have her. And she was
Speaker 4: my only unplanned pregnancy when I'm hella old, and I was.
Speaker 5: Like, what the hell is this? What the hell is this?
Speaker 4: Even my dad was like when I called him crying,
Speaker 4: I was like, my pregnant.
Speaker 5: And he goes, you know what causes that by now,
Speaker 5: don't you?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And that's what's that's what's great about your story is
Speaker 2: that you had pcos it was hard for you to
Speaker 2: get pregnant and you literally have a stable of children,
Speaker 2: you know you have.
Speaker 1: I use Heidie as inspiration all the time because she
Speaker 1: told me the first time. I think, no, it's good.
Speaker 1: It's good because you said the first time you got
Speaker 1: pregnant that it kind of like healed your body. And
Speaker 1: I've always kind of thought of that as inspiration because
Speaker 1: it's like, if you can just get the one, then
Speaker 1: maybe that brings healing and that you know, trains your
Speaker 1: body like what it's supposed to do. But yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's just like your womb is on fire and burning
Speaker 1: for you know, something that you'd never know if you're
Speaker 1: going to have. And it's hard to I mean I
Speaker 1: I've known people who have gotten pregnant and they weren't
Speaker 1: trying to. They weren't they didn't carry their way. They
Speaker 1: were excited, but they weren't like, oh, that's the end
Speaker 1: all be all. And then there's people like me who
Speaker 1: have always wanted it, who you know, struggle so hard
Speaker 1: and you're like, what is it like? Am I being punished?
Speaker 1: Am I being Are my insides broken?
Speaker 2: I think they're not. I think he does it because
Speaker 2: you're not done learning your lessons yet.
Speaker 5: I just want to.
Speaker 2: I was one of those people that it was a
Speaker 2: it was a surprise, and I'm like, holy Hannah Banana
Speaker 2: was not expecting that one, and wow, do I want
Speaker 2: to be a mom? Never really thought about it, And
Speaker 2: I am really glad it happened when it did because
Speaker 2: I had already learned some very difficult lessons like up
Speaker 2: to that point, and I'm like, Okay, now this this
Speaker 2: child's going to get everything I have and it's gonna
Speaker 2: make me or break me, you know what. And and
Speaker 2: so if I wouldn't have already gone through those things,
Speaker 2: I I don't think I would have been as successful
Speaker 2: as parenting.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Sorry. I consider myself a successful parent because she's alive,
Speaker 2: she has a job.
Speaker 1: Yeah she's not, so you will exactly well that that
Speaker 1: was yesterday.
Speaker 2: No, I'm kidding.
Speaker 5: Even if she was, you would love her just the thing.
Speaker 5: I mean. And that's the part of it.
Speaker 4: Like I think, when it when it's right, like Julia,
Speaker 4: for you, I think you're going.
Speaker 5: To feel like massively blessed.
Speaker 4: You're just gonna be like, you're gonna love that baby
Speaker 4: like nobody's business.
Speaker 5: And I do hope it does.
Speaker 4: My Grandma that wasn't able again, and that was just
Speaker 4: the three babies that were full term. She had multiple
Speaker 4: miscare I don't even know, but she went on to
Speaker 4: have five kids, you know, so you never can tell.
Speaker 1: So yeah, in it's like I said, it happens when
Speaker 1: it's supposed to and you just have to like you
Speaker 1: have to understand. It's like Hannah's prey or literally, the
Speaker 1: denials are not denials, their delays, right, And so I
Speaker 1: do really like that. And I think another thing that
Speaker 1: I was kind of like not sure if it really
Speaker 1: happened in the Bible or not, but I didn't know
Speaker 1: about it until I was an adult. I watched it
Speaker 1: popped up and recommended for you on Amazon Prime, and
Speaker 1: I was like, is this real or what? It's One
Speaker 1: Night with the King. I don't know if you guys
Speaker 1: have watched that movie. It's really good. It's about the
Speaker 1: Book of Esther and how basically she concealed her identity
Speaker 1: and became like a princess. She married the king and
Speaker 1: she saved her people because he was so in love
Speaker 1: with her. Anyways, but it was such a fantastical story
Speaker 1: and the movie was so crazy. I was like, there's
Speaker 1: no way that this actually happened. And then I went
Speaker 1: back and I was like studying the Book of Esther,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god. And it's like
Speaker 1: for this podcast in particular, it just shows like the
Speaker 1: strength of a woman. And she was just a killer.
Speaker 1: I mean like she went in there and totally concealed,
Speaker 1: she changed her name everything, she married a king, and
Speaker 1: she ended up saving her people because she knew how
Speaker 1: to play the game and she was like real strategic.
Speaker 1: She was like a mastermind. And it for anybody who
Speaker 1: just wants like a woman power story, go read the
Speaker 1: Book of Esther because she's crazy in a good way.
Speaker 1: But that was another thing in my adulthood that I
Speaker 1: probably wouldn't have appreciated until now. So I'm glad I
Speaker 1: found it as an adult. But if you guys ever
Speaker 1: get the chance, watch One Night with the King. I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure it's on Amazon Prime. But it's really good
Speaker 1: and I love that story.
Speaker 5: I'm pretty sure this is for you.
Speaker 4: This. I took a screenshot of the scriptures I wanted
Speaker 4: to say, but this one I was just gonna erase
Speaker 4: because it wasn't the right one. But so it's Proverbs
Speaker 4: thirty one twenty five Strength and honor, or, her clothing,
Speaker 4: and she shall rejoice in time to come. So that's
Speaker 4: I think that wasn't mine today.
Speaker 2: So that was something that God put on your heart
Speaker 2: for someone else.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think so, because it was an accident screenshot,
Speaker 4: So that's an accident.
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna leave this here. Ephesians four thirty two.
Speaker 2: It is be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving
Speaker 2: each other, just as Christ God forgave you. Because we
Speaker 2: talked about that a little bit earlier. And I think
Speaker 2: we are seriously lacking in compassion for other people. And
Speaker 2: like Tam mentioned earlier when I said, people just want
Speaker 2: to be heard, you can be a compassionate listener without
Speaker 2: having the answers of what to say to somebody. You
Speaker 2: don't have to formulate a response, just let them talk
Speaker 2: because sometimes people just need to get something out of
Speaker 2: their out of their body at that particular time.
Speaker 1: So anyways, it's kind of like a like a purge
Speaker 1: therapy session.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and this was kind of like between therapy and church.
Speaker 4: I liked it.
Speaker 2: Therapy church with a little bit of cussing cut in
Speaker 2: between talk about murder and drugs and this podcast ladies gentlemen.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do want to say, the last thing that
Speaker 4: I've used the most, probably the most in my life
Speaker 4: is the Lord's Prayer. And I know they say that
Speaker 4: it's edited or whatever, and that you shouldn't be repetitive
Speaker 4: with your prayers, but I will say this, when you
Speaker 4: do not have the mindset, like in a storm and
Speaker 4: you're driving your car and you're trying to get your
Speaker 4: kids home and it's snowing like crazy, you can't stop and.
Speaker 5: Read scriptures right there.
Speaker 4: That's not safe, you know, you The Lord's Prayer is
Speaker 4: always the thing I go to first, and luckily, I
Speaker 4: weirdly went to Catholic school for a year and a
Speaker 4: half because I was in some gifted thing. So I
Speaker 4: learned it there, which was like a stranger that I
Speaker 4: was even there.
Speaker 3: Trespastors or debtors.
Speaker 5: I know, and there was a king that changed the
Speaker 5: end of it and stuff.
Speaker 4: But I will say, I think he knows what we're
Speaker 4: talking about when we say it.
Speaker 5: I don't think it matters one way or the next.
Speaker 4: But I do know that many times in my life
Speaker 4: that has helped me in numerous ways. I can't even
Speaker 4: like say how much, like you know, especially during anxiety,
Speaker 4: like sometimes when I can't go to bed. I'll just
Speaker 4: pray it in my mind to like calm down, like
Speaker 4: all these things that He gives us. And yes, that
Speaker 4: isn't the only way we should pray, because then that's
Speaker 4: not really having a relationship with God. But I think
Speaker 4: he knows what we're doing when we're kind of doing that.
Speaker 2: So I got definitely more that this is me to
Speaker 2: a tee and it's from Galatians six two, and it's
Speaker 2: carry each other's burdens and in this way you will
Speaker 2: fulfilled the law of Christ. So people come to me
Speaker 2: to unburden their heart, unburden their mind, their emotions, whatever.
Speaker 2: And that's the path that God has been beating me
Speaker 2: over the head with a frying pan with for pretty
Speaker 2: much my entire life. And so that scripture holds a
Speaker 2: lot of meaning for me because that's what He has
Speaker 2: me doing right now.
Speaker 1: So I'm you're commedian, So that's good.
Speaker 2: Finally I finally listened. I was going blah blah blah,
Speaker 2: I can't hear you.
Speaker 3: I've got one last one, Janet.
Speaker 6: It's Matthew seven seven and it's ask and it will
Speaker 6: be given to you. Seek and you shall find, knock
Speaker 6: and it will be open to you. And that's one
Speaker 6: tells me my whole life. You know, where do I
Speaker 6: go from here? I'm stuck that what do I do?
Speaker 6: And that just seems to always come up and be
Speaker 6: a constant.
Speaker 2: I meant to that because he's, yeah, if you pray,
Speaker 2: you're not going to shut that door without opening one.
Speaker 1: Pray and move your feet right, and don't do the
Speaker 1: time I always ask for a sign, I'll be like,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know what the hell is going on,
Speaker 1: but if you could just send me a sign, you know,
Speaker 1: just send me a sign. And I was gonna say, Heidi,
Speaker 1: the only time that pray pops up in my mind
Speaker 1: is when I think there's a ghost in my house.
Speaker 1: And specifically, you know, even though I walk through the
Speaker 1: Valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no evil.
Speaker 1: Maybe I got that from just watching a ton of
Speaker 1: horror movies. But if I feel like, in the middle
Speaker 1: of the night, there's something in the shower and you know,
Speaker 1: I don't want to move the curtain over, I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, there's definitely a ghost in here right now.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I shall feel you're no evil. I shall
Speaker 1: fear no evil. I always see my house is haunted though, dude, like,
Speaker 1: I'm always scared of demons gonna get me. There's gonna.
Speaker 4: I mean, if you read about what the Jewish people
Speaker 4: say about demons, I don't think you're far off there.
Speaker 4: And also they're everywhere. Yeah, they're everywhere, and I do
Speaker 4: believe that. I just think we don't see them, Like
Speaker 4: that's what the Jewish people believe, is that they're if
Speaker 4: we could see them, they're like everywhere.
Speaker 5: And I think, well, it's so easy for us.
Speaker 4: To believe in like guardian angels all this stuff, right,
Speaker 4: but not demons. No, there's demons.
Speaker 5: That's why we get careful.
Speaker 2: They're literally around us at all times.
Speaker 4: I'm looking for a place to rest, looking for a
Speaker 4: place or a body to possess, or exactly.
Speaker 5: Exactly and that's scary.
Speaker 4: And one last scripture I do want to say, I
Speaker 4: can't remember which one it is is it says, even
Speaker 4: if an angel brings down another book to you, and
Speaker 4: it isn't just the Bible, it's fake and that I
Speaker 4: should have read that very first. Saved me a lot
Speaker 4: of heartache in Mormonism, because there is no other book.
Speaker 2: Hey, guess who came to my doorstep today.
Speaker 5: Oh no, it's always the Mormon.
Speaker 2: It wasn't. It wasn't a Mormon. Ye can use some information.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, no, the Watchtower like you did that
Speaker 4: once and took them and then they came to our
Speaker 4: house for like a year and a half.
Speaker 1: I was gonna, are they the ones that wear the
Speaker 1: white shirts?
Speaker 2: Are they the white Yes, the guys do although here
Speaker 2: because we're and it's weird. They came to my house
Speaker 2: because I live in the middle of nowhere, right, And
Speaker 2: it was this little frail white lady, uh looked like
Speaker 2: very elderly, and this big, burly, hulky like black man,
Speaker 2: which was a strange pairing together. And I'm like, you
Speaker 2: do know what you're bilalls say right like history, religion.
Speaker 4: Ok.
Speaker 1: I'm just at the point where they come knock, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm already a Jehovah's witness. Where have you
Speaker 1: been meeting?
Speaker 4: If you if you play that with the ld S,
Speaker 4: they will look up your address and see treasurestry.
Speaker 5: And I'm not kidding.
Speaker 2: That would not if they did that ship.
Speaker 1: I swear to God, if if I was I'm already Mormon,
Speaker 1: I'm already. I sit next to sister Tammy every other
Speaker 1: and you have never don I'm so offended. I just
Speaker 1: slammed the door in their face before they even had
Speaker 1: a chance. And or you just that crazy right, and
Speaker 1: you're just you just start like talking to yourself like
Speaker 1: where's where's my Yeah, they're like, ex this fucking house.
Speaker 2: I was on a call at the time, so I
Speaker 2: was like on hold calling calling the billing at the hospital,
Speaker 2: and so I had my phone and I said it
Speaker 2: on the on the thing right next to the front door,
Speaker 2: and the music was playing real loud, and it was
Speaker 2: like the elevator music. So she's trying to talk to
Speaker 2: me about this stuff, all this elevator music is playing.
Speaker 2: I was like, that would make like a perfect like
Speaker 2: TV scene.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 4: After the movie, heretic I'm not letting anybody in or
Speaker 4: haven't it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I won't let him in my house on the
Speaker 2: front porch.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, this has been fun.
Speaker 1: So I agree. I agree, ladies.
Speaker 2: I am looking forward to the next one because we
Speaker 2: have so much to discuss. There's so much to talk about.
Speaker 6: We wonder hear about Jonah and the way all the
Speaker 6: new Deep days yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Super excited to be doing that. And I want to
Speaker 2: talk about job and I want to talk about Elijah
Speaker 2: and Elisha and lots of other things. So yeah, So,
Speaker 2: Miss Heidi, where can everybody fight you at?
Speaker 4: I am at the Unfiltered Rise. I'm everywhere podcasts are served.
Speaker 4: I do have my own website, Unfiltered Rise podcast dot com,
Speaker 4: and I do a Patreon. About twice a month we
Speaker 4: release two extra shows.
Speaker 5: We don't cut them.
Speaker 4: We just do it that way, and then that way
Speaker 4: you can get more bang for your buck. I guess
Speaker 4: we do that on different things, not just Mormons, but
Speaker 4: murders Mormons and Mayhem. I do that with an atheist
Speaker 4: X Mormon, So it's super fun, right.
Speaker 2: And Miss tam where can people find you at?
Speaker 6: I'm on Instagram at level Plain Poem and then we've
Speaker 6: got a charismic truth store dot com and that's it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna follow you on Instagram.
Speaker 11: Oh.
Speaker 6: Actually, I'm doing a new what it's called I'm Hacking
Speaker 6: Hoaxes and I'm diving into the the no nuclear weapons hoax.
Speaker 11: So I'm excited about that discussion me too, Okay, And
Speaker 11: miss Julia, where can people think you at?
Speaker 1: Just wherever they listen to podcasts, except for YouTube, because
Speaker 1: they don't particularly care for me or my brand of truth.
Speaker 1: So I'm wherever you listen to podcasts. I do a
Speaker 1: show every Saturday on the Cult of Conspiracy podcast, and
Speaker 1: I do have a Patreon It's called Room two three
Speaker 1: seven and you can get some extra stuff over there,
Speaker 1: and I really appreciate it. I've actually went to podcasting
Speaker 1: full time now, so I appreciate everyone's support and letting
Speaker 1: me live my dream. And I still try to stay humbled.
Speaker 1: I have the best podcast ever and I'm not pulling
Speaker 1: my stuff at all. But no, I I just every
Speaker 1: day I wake up and I can't believe, Like I
Speaker 1: open my mouth and weird sounds come out and people
Speaker 1: want to hear that. So I'm I'm blessed. I'm grateful.
Speaker 1: I try to, you know, just give give people the
Speaker 1: truth in the most blunt and honest way. I can
Speaker 1: do that, and it's not about me. It's just about
Speaker 1: people learning and people waking up. So but I'm glad
Speaker 1: I can be the vehicle for that. So if you
Speaker 1: like my style, you can find me Cosmic Peach anywhere
Speaker 1: you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 5: Just in case it's ones.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay too.
Speaker 2: You can find that Deplorable Nation podcast on every podcast platform,
Speaker 2: or you can find me on Rumble and if you
Speaker 2: want to have a chit chat or anything, you can
Speaker 2: hook me up on or hit me up. Not hook
Speaker 2: me up, I'm already married.
Speaker 5: Sorry.
Speaker 2: You can hit me up on Instagram at deplorable Janet,
Speaker 2: or you can hit me up on Twitter at no Janet,
Speaker 2: Kate and w So anyways, for me, for Tam, Heidi
Speaker 2: and Julia, it has been a pleasure. It was a
Speaker 2: fun show. And I hope that you guys learned something
Speaker 2: and I hope that our wisdom will help you in
Speaker 2: some way or another. If not, that's too bad. We
Speaker 2: still love you anyway. We will see you next time.
Speaker 2: Have a good one.
Speaker 5: A more full little word than a Sunday prayer, more
Speaker 5: back road than a fuck you.
Speaker 1: They ain't always been tied with the man upstairs. And scriptures,
Speaker 1: I can quote a few. She's a cross on a
Speaker 1: chain and a red min stain on a man moss
Speaker 1: hemming down Bible. I heart tennes See John three point
Speaker 1: sixteen on the bumper of a white Chevy tible.
Speaker 5: She's a little up there down here, there's a little
Speaker 5: King James, and with John there, Thank the Lord, the
Speaker 5: girls got my back. Hangs her head O by my car,
Speaker 5: hard hat.
Speaker 2: I'm an raise a little hell.
Speaker 5: She's head a marner to Drest, to mcgrin and the ringdom.
Speaker 6: My dirt.
Speaker 1: I'm a little down all on coldbar. She's a little
Speaker 1: up there down here.
Speaker 9: Amen.
Speaker 6: Amen,