Speaker 1: This is pet Life Radio. Let's talk pets. Welcome to
Animal Rights on pet Life Radio. Is your host, Tim
Link and I'm so glad you're joining us today. Got
super fun, interesting training, dog mark Park show going on
for you.
Speaker 2: Here.
Speaker 1: We've got author Sylvie Savage coming on about her lace
book Unleash How to Evolve from Dog Training to Dog Parenting.
So I love that. I love that because we all
consider ourselves dog parents. If you're from overseas, they roll
their eyes when we say that. But here in good
old USA and North America, we are to all dog parents.
So we're gonna talk to Sylvie a little bit about
the book, talk to her about what really makes a
dog parent, so how do you go from training to
actually parenting? And then of course we'll talk to her
a little bit about her writing styles, how she goes
about crafting her work. So it's gonna be a super
fun show. We're gonna learn a lot. Everybody hang tight
listening to Animal Rights on Petlife Radio.
Speaker 3: You know the expression cats have nine lives? Well, what
if you can give them one more? The Give Them
Ten movement is on a mission to help give cats
an extra life. How with Spae and neoter, Spain or
Neotering your cat helps them live a longer, healthier life,
and it helps control free roaming cat populations too. Learn
more about the benefits of spee and neoter and meet Scooter,
the neutered cat at give Them ten dot Org. That's
give them ten dot Org.
Speaker 4: Let's talk pets on Petlife Radio dot com.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to animal rights on pet Life Radio Join us.
Now is author Sylvie Savage talk to her about her
lacebook Unleash how to Evolve from Dog Training to Dog Parenting.
Selby Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2: H oh, thanks Tim, Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: We're super excited to have you on board because I'm
always interested about training techniques with our animals, how you
communicate with them, how do you get them to do
what you need them to do? But more importantly, how
do we really form that deeper bond with them, How
do we understand what their needs are not just ours,
and how do we form that great relationship? And your
book Unleash definitely covers that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean I wrote the book because one of
the issues that I was facing, or the challenges I
was facing with families and people who love dogs, is
that they were really struggling one to feel empowered because
the ped industry is quite complex and if you don't
do this, there's going to be a problem. Oh no,
but if you don't do that, there's going to be
a problem. And then we don't really identify with our
values in how we want to parent our dogs. And
so that's not even a question we ask ourselves. And
we're bombarded with the societal expectation of dogs to behave
and you should do this, and you should do that,
but really no one asks the question what is behavior
and can you train it? And so this is where
I thought, you know, for me to uncover and define
all my research and my experiences and my own personal
experiences especially that really drove this. I thought, why don't
I write a book so that I can really solidify
this concept of not training, but self, individuality, respect, and
equality with a dog. How do you do that? Because
the whole world is about training your dog to behave
the way they're supposed to. So there were like two
issues I was having. Is giving the pet parents a
perspective of themselves and what it is they embody, but
also helping them to identify the individuality and the soul
of their dog, and that's how this book came.
Speaker 1: To be nice. I like that, you know, and you're
absolutely correct. You know. I've worked with a lot of
trainers and have a lot of trainers as friends, and
it oftentimes comes down to two areas. You're either a
pack leader type of training or you are the positive trainer.
But rarely is it bridge together saying okay, whether I
believe one route or the other is the best, which
positively is always better for me. But that's a side note.
How do you then blend that into your own personality
with your animal? How do you blend their personality with you?
How do you get them to understand your household and
your lifestyle and everything and in return understand what their
needs are Because you know, parenting, there's no you know,
whether we were talking about dogs or kids, there's no
definitive answers. Plenty of books, but there's no definitive answer
on how to do that, and especially with dogs, there's
very little out there that will guide us into saying, okay,
you know, here's some thoughts and ideas about it, but
at the end of the day, it is, you know,
it's your parenting. So you have to do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. And I did find that even if books
give you direction about like the resources of why positive
reinforcement is important, there was never really a book that
I could find that really I worked on your own
personal potential dysregulation or awareness of what it is you're
doing and why you're doing it and becoming one hundred
percent responsible for that relationship. Because we're so used to
our dogs behaving the way we want them to. And
I mean we do this to kids too, right, We
don't want them to misbehave, and so we discipline them
in a way that forces them to behave the way
we want them to. And we have the same kind
of philosophy with dogs more so. And if you don't
know your dog, and you don't know who they are
and what their aspirations are and what they want for themselves,
which is hard to do really because this is a
completely different species, where does training fit in there? Like?
Why is training the number one thing to do if
you don't quite register the fact that you don't really
know who your dog is? First things first?
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, you got to get to know your dog.
You know, It's always amazing to me, you know, I
even to this date, I've been working with animals for many,
many moons, and oftentimes people will get a new dog,
whether it's a puppy or rescue dog or just a
dog in the household, and they assume the dog knows
what to do and the dog will follow everything that
they say. But when it comes down to it, it's
really a matter of you understanding your dog and having
them understand you and then come into some sort of
a common way of having a great life together.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because dogs are really motivated to understand us, so
that's never going to be an issue. But are we
so motivated to understand them so that we can actually
help them have a fantastic stick life. And you know,
one of the things I've recognized, even with myself and
my children and my upbringing, is that when an individual
is actually heard and seen and understood, all this behavior
that we're talking about, like bad behavior, it kind of
like settles itself because that individual is able to be
who they are and identify with what it is they love.
And if you feel good, well you're not acting out
in some weird, bizarre way that isn't appropriate. Dogs are
very appropriate. They're extremely kind and gentle. They take our
guidance very easily. But when it's forced upon them without
any regard for who they are, it becomes a hindrance
on their person, but also are their dog and dogs person,
but also on your relationship. Yeah, so how do you
parent a dog without training them?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Absolutely? And then one of the things you talked
about in your book is sort of the relationship not
only with your animal, but then what are societal expectations?
You know, because you know, I could work with my
animal and have a great relationship at home, and I
may take them out and think what I've done will
fit into whatever all the other neighbors are doing, and
then I find out, no, that's not the case. Or
sometimes I don't even take my dog out and about
with the other neighbors when there's dogs around, because I
don't know how they've trained them. I don't know if
I still remember the story of I had two schnauzers.
One was the center of attention, so she got upset
if you didn't give her attention. The other guy he
got said if you did give him attention, And so
we took them both to one of the local parks,
not one of the dog parks, just a regular park,
and of course we had them unleashed like you're supposed
to do, you know, and you know that's the lall,
that's the training. And a lady just lets her dog
out of the car and a dog comes running up
like crazy and we're like, whoa, stay stop. She's like, oh,
you know, he's okay, you know, he's very friendly. I'm like,
my other dog is not that friendly. And the lady's
face turn start white, came running for a dog, trying
to grab releash and everything, cause she just assumed what
she thought was acceptable, that she had done the training,
and her dog does great with people, that it would
get along fine with every other personality or dog out there,
and that's not the case.
Speaker 2: Now. I think what we're talking about is really values.
So we all have different values, and especially now in society,
we're really witnessing what happens when there's a lack of
respect within those values. Right, So what I mean by
respect is knowing what it is that you believe in,
but not feeling a need to force or change someone else,
but just accepting that in working within that reality. And
when it comes to dogs, like not many of us
really know how to do that because it's such a like,
like you said, this dog is running towards your dog,
and like there's not like a control factor of like
there's a fence or anything, which is why we all
want to put leashes on our dogs. Not that I
want to, but it's part of societal expectations. But also, like,
understanding how to set boundaries with others is a very
difficult thing in society right now too, because people get angry.
So when you have a dog, you have to set
boundaries for your dog, yourself and others. And knowing how
to do that is such a big part of parenting,
especially with all the social pressure of your doing it
wrong or do it my way, or like the imposing
that happens in societies remarkable, and you know, identifying with
your values and then knowing how to set those boundaries
respectfully is a really important part of my work.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I love the fact that you know, you
really go into too detail, you know, real parallel for
me for having kids in your life, you know, but
also is really a parallel for relationships as well, because
each person in the household has their own unique personality,
their own way of going about doing things, their own
unique characteristics. And if you're going to have a whether
it's a dog riding the other animal in the household,
you all have to understand that. And if you're not
expecting your animals to understand that or you to understand
what your animal's needs are, you can't have that nice
flow within the household now.
Speaker 2: And this is where sometimes people look to training to
create that reality without actually identifying what you've just mentioned.
Individuality and different likes and dislikes and all those types
of things. So yeah, I think it's important to consider
child psychology, especially young child psychology when we're looking at
our dogs, because you know, dogs have the emotional and
intelligence of a toddler. And so when you start to
think about a toddler who's reacting to you because they're
unhappy or they're hungry or who knows right, and you're
then triggered, you just want them to stop acting that way. Well,
you wouldn't impose that on them. You wouldn't be like,
you know, get your act together and you know, you know,
like you're bothering me right now. You would hopefully you
would consider them before yourself. And when it comes to dogs,
I think like there's these taboos like oh, you're not
a dog parent, or that's so silly, or but it's not.
These are sentient beings who rely on you one hundred percent.
They're never going to move out, you know, just like
our children. They didn't choose us, right, and we're responsible
for that. And you know, I really do feel like
the world is changing when it comes to dogs, Like
I'm not the only one seeing these things, Like I
know you've had other authors on your show seeing things
like that, and it's such a wonderful experience to hear
these things. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, so when people pick up the book, unleash the
feedback that you've been getting. Has it been oh, I
thought this was just another dog training book, or while
that's really got in sort of the psyche of my dog,
which helped me better understand them, Or what's been some
of the take on this new I would say it's
a new approach, but it's your unique approach to all this.
It's more of a hey, the training will come, it's
the understanding that's most important.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like setting your perspective. I think what's been the
most phenomenal thing I've heard that I keep hearing is
I feel so validated. Oh nice. And I wrote the
book wanting to validate and not to you know, push
people away and make them feel good about themselves and
the choices they make, even if it's mistakes. I mean,
I share in the book the mistakes I've made, and
there's plenty. And I'm so grateful that people say I
feel so validated even though I'm saying things in the book.
That's been one of the most rewarding because I know
if they feel validated, they feel happy, and they're going
to return the favor to their dogs because they understand
what empowerment is.
Speaker 1: That's nice, and that's nice, and perhaps our dogs feel
the same way if they feel validated, right of course,
All right, well, we're going to take a quick commercial break.
I we'll come back and tenure a conversation with Sylvie
Savage about her book Unleash, and I want to pick
up rain about her writing craft, how she goes about
doing all that. So everybody hang tight, we'll come back
right for this commercial break. You're listening to Animal Rights
on pet Life Radio. Hi, this is Tim Blink, animal
communicator and pet expert and host of Animal Rights on
Pet Life Radio. Have you ever wanted to know what
your pet is really thinking. You want to find out
they truly understand what you're trying to tell them, or
wish you could build a better understanding and closer relationship
with your pet. Well, now you can. Learning to Communicate
with Animals is a four part on demand workshop. In
the workshop, you'll learn the essential techniques that are necessary
to communicate with animals, including what is animal communication, breathing
correctly to achieve the perfect state, to communicate with your
animals at a deeper level using guided meditation exercises and
method to communicate with animals, and how to send and
receive information from your animals. So if you're wanting to
learn how to communicate and connect with your animals at
a deeper level, visit Petlifradio dot com or slash workshop
and purchase and download Learning to Communicate with Animals. You'll
be glad you did. Let's talk past, Let's done.
Speaker 2: That on pret Life Radio HETLFE Radio.
Speaker 4: Pet Life Radio dot Com.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Animal Rights off pet Life Radio Tenure
conversation with author human canine relationship specialist Love That and
entrepreneur Sylvie Savage. Sylvie the book A Leash When people
pick up a copy of the book and they read
through it. Was there a message you were hoping to
relay when you first wrote it? And then has that
shifted or changed since the book's been out?
Speaker 2: Oh geez. I think that it's been fairly accurate the
responses based on what I wrote. I mean, I took
three years to write it, and I also, you know,
spent a decade like researching and thinking about different ways
of being with our dogs. So I think ideally I
just wanted people to feel a certain sense of self
and identify that reality with their dogs, and then just
find new ways of dealing with their dogs that isn't
just direct to training. And you know, I think most
people feel really empowered and good about the book after
they've read it, you know, and I'm happy about that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it. That's it. Well, I love that. And
I always ask that question because you know, I want
to know from the author, what the mess what makes
you feel good? Is like I got it, thumbs up,
palls up, I'm in good shape here. And then sometimes
it does shift. You know, your message gets out there,
but then people say stuff that you'll give you feedback
that it's like I had no idea that that would
have that kind of impact on them.
Speaker 2: I'm grateful for any feedback, quite frankly, because, like you know,
when you're writing a book, you're writing it with the
reader's perspective in mind, and sometimes it's hard to do
that because you have your own ideas and you know,
you're thinking about this twenty four to seven. And yeah,
for me, like, it was really a nice process to
do so that I can really clarify in like my
fundamentals of what I believe in. But I didn't want
to make it so that other people, if they believed
in something different, they would be like offended or hurt
or anything like that. I was super careful and very
sensitive to that reality, just because, as I mentioned, like,
the industry is so opposing already, and I didn't want
anyone picking up the book and being like, well, what
is this crap or whatever? Right, I just wanted people
to feel good, no matter where they were at.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you did a great job with the book.
I mean, the thing I love about so much of
the book is the fact that the perspective, you know,
it's a lot in what I believe in as well.
I think e Chandle's unique and has their own personality,
and it's up to us as their human companions, to
best understand what their wants and needs are and then
we can worry about getting them to understand what we
need and to have a perfect householders close as possible
to be in as previous a household. And I think
you did a great job in the book that and
you know, it gives you one more tool that's not
just specifically training, it's how do you build that relationship
In your book, Unleash does a great job with that.
Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much. Yeah, one of the things
that really helps me write the book is that I've
had to have my own life sort of well together.
I had some mental health challenges. I had physical health
issues as well. And you know, you go along in
the world and you try to like do well and
you live up to societal expectations so that you're successful
and people think you're successful, and you know, as you
start to get older, you start to realize, well, I
don't know if I'm doing that well. And I had
to learn a lot about communication and emotions and feelings.
And because I didn't actually realize I didn't know what
emotions were till I was like fifty, I had to
really learn about them in my own body, and so
somatic therapy was a big part of my healing. And
when you don't know what emotions feel like or what
they are, like I literally had no sensation below my
neck about emotions, was like, who needs that? Too many
problems comes with emotions and feelings. And so because of that,
I was really able to define a new perspective with
dogs and how they feel. And so in the middle
of the book and the second part of the book,
I spend quite a bit of time explaining what emotions
are and what feelings are and how they actually feel
in your body. Because of that, because I actually had
to learn that, and if I had to learn it,
so many other people probably need to learn it, or
maybe even just have an idea of like what do
you mean it's in the body like I had no idea,
And then like understanding what feelings are and what a
stress and like what does emotion mean and what does
it look like? And so those parts of the book
were a really important part of my healing. As well.
As I was writing it, I was doing even more
research and you know, I was going through therapy through
part of the writing of my book, and I was,
you know, learning a lot about myself. But it really
all applies to my work, all of it. And so
I'm happy that you said that because it's important to me.
Speaker 1: Well you did great, dear, Well you're doing fantastic. And yes,
our animals have the same emotions and everything that we
do and the challenges. We just have to help them
better understand it and help realize that and have a
great life with them. So I think it's a perfect thing.
So let's talk about the writing itself. We're talking about
this book or just writing. Obviously, it has an ability
to help you get your words on paper, it helps
you release and learn all these things. But how did
you go about crafting this because you said it took
you three years. Obviously we got to put the gear
of the book, we got to do some research, we
got to do some sketches, we got to do some
design work. But more importantly, how does that process work
for you? Are you one of those that get up
at five o'clock every morning and need and write for
an hour or you hopefully not let me wait till
the last minute and then get it out the door.
Speaker 2: What I found the pattern was is that I would
spend time in the morning just doing nothing, just thinking
about my purpose and my passion and just you know,
spending some time with myself and what is it I'm
doing and just refocusing on what is my purpose in
life at this time, And with that, it would automatically
get to a place where I wanted to write. I'd
been thinking about it, and you know, sometimes it would
take ten minutes, sometimes two hours, and I have the
luxury of doing that most of the time, so I
was very lucky that I could get up, have coffee
and just ponder. And once I would get to that
place where I have to work, I have to work now,
I don't want to sit here anymore. I'm done with this.
That's when I would start working. And it was usually
three four days a week, and I would just write
and write and write. And I did structure it originally,
like I basically wrote everything down. I know everything I
know about dogs and relationships and everything, and then I
group them all and then I started picking chapters, like
you know, like what chapters is going to go into?
And then I kind of knew the scope of what
I wanted to share and then I just wrote. It
took me a year to write the first draft. And
I think the biggest thing that helped me as a
writer is that I actually knew I was going to
hire a structural editor, so it didn't matter if it
wasn't great, because it wasn't going to go out. So
I didn't have that pressure of perfection. I just had
the passion of doing it. And once it went to
my editor, I did nine drafts of that, like nine
edits of that book until it got to the place
it is now right, But like that was just my rhythm.
I would just do what inspired me. And then if
I got to places that were really hard where I
was like, I don't even know what my name is,
what am I? What am I doing? I would actually
have this little thing where I would just try to
get it through, like just get to the other side
of the concept or the idea, even if it was crap,
and then the next day when I would come back,
it would make so much more sense. I'd be like, oh,
I know what I'm trying to say, and then it
would just flow so much easier. And that was kind
of my process.
Speaker 1: Nice I like that. I like that and ending. I
mean that makes a lot of sense, truthfully. I mean
your idea maybe was get it on paper, then get
the editor and let them do it, because editing along
the way is I've always found to be a challenge.
And you know, a lot of times there's no right
or wrong answer to this, but you oftentimes they say, well,
don't even look at what you're typing, you know, put
it all down, don't try to make autocorrects, don't try
to edit along the way. And I find it impossible
to begin with because even knowing that an editor is
going to find mistakes big time, it doesn't matter. So
I like the fact that you went when the epiphany
hit you, when and when it hit you, you wrote,
and you wrote for as long as you want to
or could do, or until you got to the sticking point,
and then you left it alone and then let the
universe come back the next day and say okay, and
you're like, oh, yeah, that's the answer, that's what I
love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And sometimes it was two weeks too, It wasn't
one day right. Sometimes sometimes it was like, ah, I'm
really don't want to do this. So I think I
just waited to feel inspired to do it instead of
forcing it. And I think that that actual it's almost
like a weird discipline. It's like you're training yourself to
enjoy something that you know is difficult. So it's like
a mind game in a way, you know. And it
worked for me. And I love writing. This is my
first book and I love it, like I write all
the time now, like I'm launching a new book, like
I love it so much.
Speaker 1: Nice, nice, and it is great outlet, you know, And
I love love the fact that, you know, I always
say with writing, it doesn't really matter what you're writing.
As long as you're writing. You know, you're putting your
ideas thoughts. A big storytellers, so you know, I'm always
putting stories out there, whether you like to hear them
or not. And which reminds me. We apologized to the
last house guest we had for dinner because I realized
I dominated the whole conversation telling stories about my past.
Oh my god, it happens as you get older.
Speaker 2: It's never happened to me. Tim, I don't know what
you're talking about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yes, goodness. Well, Selbe tell us a little
bit about how people can find out more about the book.
Unleash and what you've got going on, keep track of
your writing and looking forward to the next book.
Speaker 2: You can find everything on Sylvisavage dot com. My book
is on Amazon and everywhere, like everywhere Amazon Ships is there,
And I'm actually building an empowerment academy, Empowerment with the
pa wo.
Speaker 5: Nice Nice, and the whole academy is just going to
be based on concepts from Unleash, but also there's just
going to be a tremendous amount of work books.
Speaker 2: And free PDFs and videos and things like that so
that people can take little bite sized chunks of these
concepts in ways in which we can get to know
ourselves and our dogs better. So instead of make it
one big lump some I'm going to be creating a
whole bunch of little books that people can really just
focus on one thing. So that's happening now, So that
should be launching in the next month or so. But
that's everything that you want to know is would be
on my website Sylviesavage dot com.
Speaker 1: Absolutely well, everybody definitely visit the website, keep track of that.
It's gonna be a lot of fun for sure, and
definitely pick up a copy of the book, It's Unleash
How to Evolve from Dog Training to Dog Parenting from
Sylvie Savage Selby. Thanks so much for coming on the show.
We really appreciate it. I love the book, love what
you've done with it, and I'll look forward to keeping
track of all the other wonderful stuff you get going
on amazing.
Speaker 2: Thanks so much, Tim, I really enjoyed our time together.
Speaker 1: Absolutely well. We're coming to the end of the show today.
I want to thank everyone for listening to Animal Rights
on pet Life Radio. We want to thank the producers
and sponsors for making the show possible. If you have
an questions, comments ideas for the show or any of
the other shows, you can go to pet life Radio
dot com and we'll definitely answer your questions, entertain your comments,
and bring on the people you want to hear from
most And while you're there, check out all the other
wonderful shows and hosts. It's a cornucopia of marking, purringwing,
I don't know what other sounds are. It's a great
place go to pet Life Radio dot com. So until
next time, write a great story about the animals in
your life, and who knows, you may be the next
guest on animal rights on pet Life Radio. Have a
great day.
Speaker 4: Let's talk pets every week on demand only on petlife
radio dot com.