WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:35.039 Oh better that are mm hm. Trigger warn This podcast 2 00:00:35.079 --> 00:00:38.000 may include explicit content that will take you out of 3 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:40.479 your comfort zone and make you question reality. 4 00:00:40.920 --> 00:00:42.840 Listener's discretion is advised. 5 00:00:55.600 --> 00:01:07.280 M Hello, and welcome back to the show. We are 6 00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:13.120 back for part two of the what was their Name? 7 00:01:14.760 --> 00:01:25.040 Katy Coucci? It was like a color uh pink puss 8 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:30.400 Teal Swan. Yep, we are back for the part two 9 00:01:31.400 --> 00:01:37.239 of Teal Swan. A lot more to talk about, a 10 00:01:37.319 --> 00:01:41.439 lot more to uncover with this, but before we do that, 11 00:01:43.239 --> 00:01:45.400 I don't have any stories for you today, but I 12 00:01:45.480 --> 00:01:50.120 have a couple of shout outs. I got one message 13 00:01:50.159 --> 00:01:55.159 from Tracy. I won't say your last name just for 14 00:01:55.560 --> 00:02:00.480 privacy purposes, but Tracy, I got your message. She went 15 00:02:00.519 --> 00:02:04.680 through the link tree like a good girl. That's how 16 00:02:04.719 --> 00:02:06.760 you're supposed to do it, so she said. I listened 17 00:02:06.760 --> 00:02:10.319 to your show religiously. I'm honored, thank you. I love 18 00:02:10.400 --> 00:02:15.280 your episodes on John Benney. I did stumble across a 19 00:02:15.280 --> 00:02:19.000 few TikTok videos about John Benney and Epstein. He had 20 00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:23.400 pictures of her in his apartment and one picture of 21 00:02:23.599 --> 00:02:28.360 Benet at a pageant and it had Maxwell in it. 22 00:02:28.439 --> 00:02:30.439 I thought you might want to look into it. If 23 00:02:30.439 --> 00:02:34.000 you hadn't already listen, I'm sure they were running train 24 00:02:34.120 --> 00:02:40.639 on her. They never would say who the elite type 25 00:02:40.639 --> 00:02:46.120 person was, who was at the White's family Christmas party 26 00:02:46.960 --> 00:02:49.639 that night. There was a nine to one one phone 27 00:02:49.680 --> 00:02:54.000 call placed. There was an elite guest at the White 28 00:02:54.039 --> 00:02:58.039 family Christmas party. It's never been disclosed to it is 29 00:02:58.159 --> 00:02:59.919 there was a nine to one one call that night. 30 00:03:00.599 --> 00:03:03.560 And then that's the night I think she died. I 31 00:03:03.560 --> 00:03:05.439 think she died at the Christmas party. And then they 32 00:03:05.439 --> 00:03:10.159 brought her body back home and called nine to one 33 00:03:10.199 --> 00:03:15.000 one again in the morning from the Ramsey home to 34 00:03:16.360 --> 00:03:19.800 stage this cleanup job. Because they knew her dead body 35 00:03:19.879 --> 00:03:24.879 was down in the basement, they planted it there from 36 00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:30.599 the night before died at the Christmas party. Now I 37 00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:34.039 got another email, Let's see if I can find it. It 38 00:03:34.080 --> 00:03:38.960 was very interesting. It was about Steven Spielberg. Yes, it's 39 00:03:39.000 --> 00:03:42.319 from the email. Is Man in the Mirror eighty five 40 00:03:42.479 --> 00:03:50.159 sent me an email, really really detailed email here about 41 00:03:50.199 --> 00:03:55.599 like Stargate SG one and Steven Spielberg, a lot of 42 00:03:55.719 --> 00:03:57.560 really cool stuff. I just wanted to let you know 43 00:03:57.680 --> 00:04:00.280 I did get your email. Thank you so much. Much 44 00:04:00.280 --> 00:04:03.400 for reaching out. I really appreciate it. I love hearing 45 00:04:03.400 --> 00:04:06.000 from you guys. You're my friends, You're my best piece, 46 00:04:07.639 --> 00:04:10.240 and we can keep it real with each other. Don't 47 00:04:10.280 --> 00:04:16.480 be afraid to send me email, ghost dot peach at 48 00:04:16.519 --> 00:04:20.720 outlook dot com, send me email, hit me up, you know, 49 00:04:21.319 --> 00:04:24.240 bark up my tree. Love to hear from you, guys, 50 00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:26.279 even if I can't get back to you right away, 51 00:04:26.399 --> 00:04:29.519 or if I give you a shout out and respond 52 00:04:29.600 --> 00:04:36.639 to you via episode like this, just know I love 53 00:04:36.680 --> 00:04:41.360 you and I see your messages coming through. Now that 54 00:04:41.399 --> 00:04:46.000 we're done with that part, we're gonna jump into part 55 00:04:46.079 --> 00:04:52.360 two of Teal Swan. I don't know how you guys 56 00:04:52.560 --> 00:04:58.600 are feeling so far with the first part, but damn 57 00:04:59.000 --> 00:05:04.160 a lot of stuff being revealed here. Let me share 58 00:05:04.319 --> 00:05:05.040 my shit. 59 00:05:06.120 --> 00:05:06.560 Sharon. 60 00:05:07.800 --> 00:05:15.079 Oh boy, here we go, Sharon. Sharon. Sharon had the sound. 61 00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:21.439 Okay, okay, okay, he's getting off on it like by 62 00:05:21.480 --> 00:05:22.199 this point. 63 00:05:22.720 --> 00:05:29.120 Uh oh, all right, people, if you're ready, I'm ready, 64 00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:33.639 let's get let's get to go and hang out. 65 00:05:35.519 --> 00:05:38.319 He had taken the knife and taken a huge slice 66 00:05:38.399 --> 00:05:41.079 of this guy's leg, off of his of his thigh 67 00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:44.319 muscle and was just chewing on it because he was 68 00:05:44.680 --> 00:05:47.959 cannabalistic as well, so he was chewing on this this rock. 69 00:05:48.279 --> 00:05:53.319 Don't forget. We left off with a dead ass, fucking 70 00:05:53.480 --> 00:05:59.160 corpse ass, carved up dead body with a full hit. 71 00:05:59.279 --> 00:06:04.759 He had an arrend, a dead erection on and she 72 00:06:04.959 --> 00:06:09.120 was made to have sex with the dead body and 73 00:06:09.319 --> 00:06:12.759 her keeper, her handler, whoever he is. This is what 74 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:15.920 he's doing. He's having this little snack time, little dammer 75 00:06:16.040 --> 00:06:22.240 time and a little slim jerky action going on. And anyways, 76 00:06:22.319 --> 00:06:24.680 that's where we left off. That's where we're picking at. 77 00:06:25.160 --> 00:06:27.160 Oh he never cooked it, by the way. He was 78 00:06:27.160 --> 00:06:29.519 into raw stuff, so he would eat this piece of 79 00:06:29.560 --> 00:06:32.839 this raw leg. He was like enjoying it. You should 80 00:06:32.839 --> 00:06:34.199 have seen the look on his face. It was like 81 00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:38.360 he was for the first time feeling like this enthusiasm 82 00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:42.279 kind of. And so he's in his enthusiasm bubble watching 83 00:06:42.319 --> 00:06:44.920 me do all this stuff, and my reality is breaking 84 00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:47.319 and it didn't feel good. It's not like, oh my god, 85 00:06:47.439 --> 00:06:50.240 this is awesome. This means that not everything he's told 86 00:06:50.240 --> 00:06:52.560 me is true. It's like, wait a minute, my whole 87 00:06:52.560 --> 00:06:55.879 reality is falling down. If he's told me this and 88 00:06:55.920 --> 00:06:57.360 I didn't do it. What else has he told me? 89 00:06:57.399 --> 00:07:01.319 That's a lie? And that was the first time that 90 00:07:01.519 --> 00:07:04.319 I had ever conceptualized of the idea that I had 91 00:07:04.360 --> 00:07:08.199 a choice and that everything he said may not be true. 92 00:07:09.600 --> 00:07:12.480 So he had dug this enormous pit so as to 93 00:07:12.480 --> 00:07:15.199 not start a forest fire, this huge pit in the ground, 94 00:07:15.639 --> 00:07:18.759 and we threw the body in there and then burnt 95 00:07:19.079 --> 00:07:22.680 this body, which took forever. We're out there for a 96 00:07:22.720 --> 00:07:25.240 really long time, a lot of hours. He's in the 97 00:07:25.279 --> 00:07:29.000 same jovial mood, and I'm watching this body burn. And 98 00:07:29.040 --> 00:07:31.639 then he takes the big pieces afterwards, and he'll like 99 00:07:31.680 --> 00:07:34.720 throw them, you know, into the woods, and then the 100 00:07:34.759 --> 00:07:36.560 rest of the ashes he will gather and then give 101 00:07:36.600 --> 00:07:41.319 that back to the mortician. And it's like, I couldn't 102 00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:43.920 I can't tell you how bad that feeling is when 103 00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:46.600 your whole reality turns out to be a sort of 104 00:07:46.639 --> 00:07:48.879 upside down. I was not celebrating. I can tell you 105 00:07:48.920 --> 00:07:53.800 that I was like, I should come myself. But it 106 00:07:53.839 --> 00:07:57.360 was this weird impulse that happened internally where I was like, 107 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:00.439 and I wasn't really thinking about it, I should just 108 00:08:00.560 --> 00:08:03.639 drive away. So I get down to the base of 109 00:08:03.639 --> 00:08:07.120 this trail after this whole scenario was over, and my 110 00:08:07.160 --> 00:08:09.959 car was there. He had had somebody drive it there. 111 00:08:10.199 --> 00:08:12.240 I got into the car and I drove and I 112 00:08:12.240 --> 00:08:16.240 didn't go home. I drove like three hours to sell 113 00:08:16.360 --> 00:08:19.759 Lake City, where I had met a boy who actually 114 00:08:19.759 --> 00:08:21.639 still works with me today, which is why this is 115 00:08:21.680 --> 00:08:23.319 such a cool sort of turnaround. 116 00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:24.759 But I had met this. 117 00:08:24.759 --> 00:08:28.000 Boy t two times before this point, cause I had 118 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:32.240 no friends. I'm really and for some reason, I just 119 00:08:32.279 --> 00:08:33.799 felt like I could trust this guy, and it was 120 00:08:33.840 --> 00:08:35.440 the first time I ever felt that way. He was 121 00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:38.799 so innocent. I swear to God, it's like, you'll know 122 00:08:38.840 --> 00:08:40.360 if you meet him, and I'll probably introduce him to 123 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:41.639 you guys one day if you want to meet him. 124 00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:46.399 But he's like the most innocent, amazingly sweet person ever, 125 00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:48.759 and some pardon me, thought I can use this to 126 00:08:48.799 --> 00:08:51.840 my advantage. I didn't realize that I would end up 127 00:08:51.919 --> 00:08:54.279 like loving him as a person the way that I do. 128 00:08:54.399 --> 00:08:56.960 At that point, it was like a survival. Survival mode 129 00:08:57.039 --> 00:08:59.440 was I can this guy can hide me, like I 130 00:08:59.440 --> 00:09:02.120 can use him right now because he's sweet, and because 131 00:09:02.120 --> 00:09:03.679 I don't know where else to go. So I drove 132 00:09:03.720 --> 00:09:06.600 to his house. Nobody was there, I broke in the window. 133 00:09:07.039 --> 00:09:09.080 He was living with two roommates going to college. And 134 00:09:09.120 --> 00:09:11.159 I went into the bathtub and I was like, Okay, 135 00:09:11.159 --> 00:09:12.759 I should just get in the car and drive back home. 136 00:09:13.320 --> 00:09:15.159 No I can't, Yes I can't. No I can't, Yes 137 00:09:15.200 --> 00:09:15.519 I can't. 138 00:09:15.519 --> 00:09:17.080 I didn't know any other way to cope, and so 139 00:09:17.120 --> 00:09:18.840 I was like, I was feeling so guilty and so 140 00:09:18.919 --> 00:09:21.759 evil basically that I defaulted to what I do from 141 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:24.240 the Blood Covenant group, which was if you want to 142 00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:27.120 find the light of Christ, just cut yourself, bleed and you. 143 00:09:27.080 --> 00:09:28.720 Can feel that. They tell you that cause like. 144 00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:30.480 The endorphit hit you get when you cut or you 145 00:09:30.519 --> 00:09:32.639 hurt yourself, They teach you that that is the light 146 00:09:32.679 --> 00:09:36.679 of Christ, that feeling that forgiveness. Basically, so I was like, okay, 147 00:09:36.720 --> 00:09:38.440 I have to find that. And so I got a 148 00:09:38.559 --> 00:09:41.799 razor blade and I cut myself so bad. I was 149 00:09:41.840 --> 00:09:44.679 bleeding all over the tiles. It was like running down 150 00:09:44.759 --> 00:09:48.480 the bathroom drain. And when when my Blake says the 151 00:09:48.559 --> 00:09:50.639 name when he got home, that's what he walked up to, 152 00:09:51.519 --> 00:09:54.440 walks into his bathroom and just like a blood everywhere, 153 00:09:54.879 --> 00:09:58.120 and he's like, oh my god, you know, and typical 154 00:09:58.200 --> 00:10:01.399 he doesn't call anybody. He just cleans me up, feeds me, 155 00:10:01.840 --> 00:10:04.519 puts me in dead and then he's like, well, just 156 00:10:04.519 --> 00:10:06.519 don't go home. You just shouldn't go home. I'll just 157 00:10:06.519 --> 00:10:08.679 take care of you. And it's like he didn't really 158 00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:10.360 know the full story of what was going on at 159 00:10:10.360 --> 00:10:12.679 that point, but I was planning on going home still. 160 00:10:12.879 --> 00:10:15.000 I was just gonna go home whatever. But it was 161 00:10:15.039 --> 00:10:16.759 like the more that I was watching him take care 162 00:10:16.759 --> 00:10:19.080 of me, make me breakfast, I was feeling that sort 163 00:10:19.120 --> 00:10:21.360 of love and I didn't want to go back. One day, 164 00:10:21.399 --> 00:10:23.600 it came two days, Two days became three days, three 165 00:10:23.639 --> 00:10:27.080 days became four days, and then it was like after 166 00:10:27.120 --> 00:10:29.879 a while, I really had this that full urge of 167 00:10:29.919 --> 00:10:31.480 like I don't want to go back, and so it 168 00:10:31.519 --> 00:10:34.200 started turning into fear of going back, and then I 169 00:10:34.360 --> 00:10:36.080 just hid basically with him. 170 00:10:36.279 --> 00:10:37.320 Where should keeper now? 171 00:10:37.720 --> 00:10:38.399 I have no idea. 172 00:10:38.840 --> 00:10:39.399 Do you fear? 173 00:10:41.440 --> 00:10:41.720 Yeah? 174 00:10:41.799 --> 00:10:43.000 I would love to say no, I would love to 175 00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:46.759 say I've transcended that. No, I do. I fear more 176 00:10:46.840 --> 00:10:50.200 than anything because I have a kid now. So that's 177 00:10:50.240 --> 00:10:51.519 really what it's done me in I think. 178 00:10:52.360 --> 00:10:55.879 But you're very public about ye your story, Cause there's two. 179 00:10:55.759 --> 00:10:58.600 Ways to hide. See, at first, I didn't take this route. 180 00:10:59.120 --> 00:11:01.679 At first, I hid. I hid like crazy. I didn't 181 00:11:01.720 --> 00:11:05.080 tell anybody. I only got thrown into therapy because I 182 00:11:05.200 --> 00:11:08.440 literally got thrown into it by an ex boyfriend of 183 00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:11.279 mine who I was so like a typical abuse victim. 184 00:11:11.320 --> 00:11:12.879 I didn't know that it wasn't okay to have sex 185 00:11:12.919 --> 00:11:17.039 with anyone, and I was like so traumatized that and 186 00:11:17.440 --> 00:11:20.000 like thinking that everyone around me kept people in the basement, 187 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:23.120 that that was normal, that basically it was so difficult 188 00:11:23.159 --> 00:11:24.679 to be in a relationship with me. At that point 189 00:11:24.679 --> 00:11:27.039 that he gave me an ultimatum. He's like, this is 190 00:11:27.120 --> 00:11:30.360 not normal. What you're telling me happened to you, isn't okay. 191 00:11:30.600 --> 00:11:33.279 You need to go to therapy for that. I was like, no, no, 192 00:11:33.360 --> 00:11:36.440 I don't. I'm totally fine. But I was so because 193 00:11:36.519 --> 00:11:38.480 I have, of course been programmed to not be able 194 00:11:38.480 --> 00:11:40.759 to take care of myself. You'll notice that my pattern 195 00:11:40.799 --> 00:11:42.519 throughout my life has been get with a man, Get 196 00:11:42.519 --> 00:11:43.960 with a man, get with a man. I don't even 197 00:11:44.279 --> 00:11:48.279 waste ten minutes between one relationship and the next, because 198 00:11:48.320 --> 00:11:50.320 my option of survival is that basically have a guy 199 00:11:50.360 --> 00:11:53.639 taking care of me. I took that approach basically, so 200 00:11:53.720 --> 00:11:56.360 the idea of being on my own for any amount 201 00:11:56.360 --> 00:11:59.559 of time was more terrifying than being in therapy. So 202 00:11:59.720 --> 00:12:02.679 he actually took me to the rape crisis center and 203 00:12:02.960 --> 00:12:05.399 he like it was a big scuffle actually because I 204 00:12:05.440 --> 00:12:07.879 was resisting him and he actually in Nann just took 205 00:12:07.879 --> 00:12:10.000 me and like threw me through the door. Now you 206 00:12:10.080 --> 00:12:11.960 can imagine how well that was received in a rape 207 00:12:11.960 --> 00:12:14.399 crisis center, which is full of super angry, like anti 208 00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:16.879 rapist people. What the hell is it? 209 00:12:16.919 --> 00:12:17.039 Oh? 210 00:12:17.120 --> 00:12:18.200 Yeah, he was jump rising. 211 00:12:18.519 --> 00:12:21.120 So it's still kind of funny to this day that 212 00:12:21.320 --> 00:12:24.639 thinking back on that. But they like grabbed him, all 213 00:12:24.679 --> 00:12:26.039 of them and threw him up again, said well, they're 214 00:12:26.039 --> 00:12:28.039 sure that they're witnessing domestic abuse, right. 215 00:12:28.279 --> 00:12:29.840 He's like, she needs to be here. 216 00:12:30.159 --> 00:12:31.799 You take her in the back right now. 217 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:36.519 So so the director of the rape crisis center takes 218 00:12:36.519 --> 00:12:37.679 me in the back of the room and is like 219 00:12:37.919 --> 00:12:40.480 why do you think he thinks you need to be here? 220 00:12:40.679 --> 00:12:43.919 And so I was like, well I and I started 221 00:12:43.919 --> 00:12:45.399 sort of telling her a little bit of stuff that 222 00:12:45.440 --> 00:12:47.039 went on with me, and I like I washed her 223 00:12:47.080 --> 00:12:48.960 face sort of. She was trying to be real professional, 224 00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:51.879 but I watched her face go from like interest to 225 00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:56.639 like white, and so she's like, this is I hope 226 00:12:56.679 --> 00:12:59.679 you understand that this is well beyond the capacity that 227 00:12:59.759 --> 00:13:02.159 we have at this particular center. This is not what 228 00:13:02.200 --> 00:13:05.519 we deal with. But I know somebody who does deal 229 00:13:05.559 --> 00:13:07.080 with this. And it was like that was the first time, 230 00:13:07.120 --> 00:13:09.519 by the way, that I had even conceptualized if the 231 00:13:09.559 --> 00:13:11.799 idea that what I went through wasn't normal and wasn't okay, 232 00:13:11.799 --> 00:13:14.759 and was maybe even really bad. Like if you're used 233 00:13:14.759 --> 00:13:17.200 to starving to death in Africa, that's normal for you. 234 00:13:17.399 --> 00:13:18.960 Like if you're used to being part of these groups, 235 00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:21.559 that's normal for you. So it's only when I watch 236 00:13:21.639 --> 00:13:24.000 the reactions on people's faces that I realized that this 237 00:13:24.039 --> 00:13:28.960 is like some other, like another level. So I was like, wow, 238 00:13:29.120 --> 00:13:30.960 you know, she's acting like this is really bad stuff 239 00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:33.480 that I went through. Maybe I do need therapy, and 240 00:13:33.519 --> 00:13:35.039 maybe it would be good if I could get some 241 00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:38.440 coping skills. So she she referred me actually to this 242 00:13:38.519 --> 00:13:43.919 woman who works in town who is a rape crisis 243 00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:46.519 or not a rape crisis. She's a trauma expert in 244 00:13:46.600 --> 00:13:47.320 ritual abuse. 245 00:13:47.919 --> 00:13:49.000 That's kind of upsetting. 246 00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:50.879 I mean, like all of us need to stop here 247 00:13:50.919 --> 00:13:53.120 for a minute and realize, like, if somebody can make 248 00:13:53.240 --> 00:13:56.039 their living and like honestly has to have patients referred 249 00:13:56.039 --> 00:13:59.559 to her, this is how over overflowed she is with clients. 250 00:14:00.399 --> 00:14:02.279 If that can be a specialty, does that tell you 251 00:14:02.360 --> 00:14:05.559 how many people in this particular area are suffering from 252 00:14:05.600 --> 00:14:11.080 this particular condition. So I ended up getting in with her, 253 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:15.120 and to say the least, it was like completely life changing. 254 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:17.480 And it didn't It didn't feel good at first because 255 00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:19.600 it's like it took me three years in therapy to 256 00:14:19.639 --> 00:14:21.720 admit that maybe he didn't do this because he loved me. 257 00:14:23.399 --> 00:14:25.759 So it's not like in therapy we were digging through 258 00:14:25.759 --> 00:14:27.720 all these suppressed memories. What it is is that I 259 00:14:28.600 --> 00:14:31.639 was unwilling to admit that that what he said wasn't 260 00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:37.120 true about his motive. And then it's like, you know 261 00:14:37.159 --> 00:14:38.320 a lot of people would like to say, oh, it 262 00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:39.799 probably felt good to be in therapy. No, it is 263 00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:41.399 the worst thing in the world. Why because when you're 264 00:14:41.399 --> 00:14:45.440 going through a specific experiment or experience, it's like you're 265 00:14:45.480 --> 00:14:48.200 in survival mode and all those chemicals take over and 266 00:14:48.840 --> 00:14:51.559 it's only in retrospect that things start getting as bad 267 00:14:51.600 --> 00:14:54.159 as they seem you know, when you have to revisit 268 00:14:54.240 --> 00:14:55.720 trauma is when it gets the worst. 269 00:14:56.399 --> 00:14:59.000 That's when I had to admit it's really not. 270 00:14:58.960 --> 00:15:00.440 That he was chasing you through what it's because he 271 00:15:00.519 --> 00:15:02.120 really loved you and wanted to make sure you could 272 00:15:02.120 --> 00:15:04.679 get away from people. You were getting chased by s 273 00:15:04.840 --> 00:15:08.320 a serial killer through the woods as a child. And 274 00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:11.000 it's like when you realize that and when you bite 275 00:15:11.039 --> 00:15:12.879 off that, you don't want to live, which is the 276 00:15:12.879 --> 00:15:15.559 reason that most of us as abuse victims. It's the 277 00:15:15.559 --> 00:15:18.600 reason I think that most of us buy into the 278 00:15:18.720 --> 00:15:21.840 ideas that were sold by these groups so much, just 279 00:15:21.879 --> 00:15:25.279 because if you don't, you're gonna die. I mean, that's 280 00:15:25.320 --> 00:15:27.879 a survival strategy. If I if I tell you I'm 281 00:15:27.919 --> 00:15:30.559 doing this because I love you, you had better believe 282 00:15:30.600 --> 00:15:33.159 that because the alternative is so bad you can't live 283 00:15:33.159 --> 00:15:36.120 through it. So I had done that. It was like 284 00:15:36.399 --> 00:15:38.759 I was letting go of the very thing which enabled 285 00:15:38.759 --> 00:15:42.919 me to survive that whole situation. In admitting that, it 286 00:15:43.240 --> 00:15:45.440 admitting the truth about what was really going on, instead 287 00:15:45.440 --> 00:15:47.679 of thinking, no, really, it's all for my own good. 288 00:15:47.919 --> 00:15:50.159 So that was the worst thing in the entire world. 289 00:15:50.159 --> 00:15:52.559 But I did start piecing my world back together again. 290 00:15:52.679 --> 00:15:58.279 And after about I think two or three years of therapy, 291 00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:01.679 I was allowed to go into group therapy where I 292 00:16:01.679 --> 00:16:04.600 got to meet other women. And I will never forget 293 00:16:04.600 --> 00:16:06.360 the day that I first walked in and it was 294 00:16:06.399 --> 00:16:08.879 a group of I think like five or six women, 295 00:16:09.360 --> 00:16:11.360 and the one who was sitting right over to my 296 00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:14.159 left side, when I walked through the door, both of 297 00:16:14.240 --> 00:16:17.279 us started crying because she and I had met each 298 00:16:17.279 --> 00:16:21.759 other at a at a Satanic mass, so we had 299 00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:24.399 both gotten out of the same scenario and meeting each 300 00:16:24.399 --> 00:16:27.120 other was just like it was so therapeutic and it 301 00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:30.159 was like amazing to meet these women who had gone 302 00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:31.519 through the same kind of stuff as me, and I 303 00:16:31.879 --> 00:16:34.720 developed like a serious attachment to them. But I don't 304 00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:38.200 talk to them today. Why Because I went public. I 305 00:16:38.320 --> 00:16:40.960 served the reality of my life and I wasn't planning 306 00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:43.279 on doing this, I might add. So I was going 307 00:16:43.279 --> 00:16:45.480 through therapy and when I started talking about ritual child 308 00:16:45.559 --> 00:16:47.960 sacrifices and stuff like that, where it turns into murder, 309 00:16:48.360 --> 00:16:50.759 they legally have to tell someone. So basically I was 310 00:16:50.759 --> 00:16:53.639 put in an ultimatum scenario by my therapist who said, 311 00:16:54.600 --> 00:16:56.200 either I'm gonna tell the cops, or you'd have to 312 00:16:56.200 --> 00:16:58.519 tell the cops because this is what we have to do. 313 00:16:58.600 --> 00:17:00.320 It's my job. And so I was like, all right, 314 00:17:00.879 --> 00:17:03.000 you know, I guess I'm gonna do it. Then, so 315 00:17:03.080 --> 00:17:05.119 she called up the chief of police in the area 316 00:17:05.160 --> 00:17:07.000 that I grew up in. Now it's a it's a 317 00:17:07.319 --> 00:17:12.079 really enormous issue of a case basically because technically, unless 318 00:17:12.079 --> 00:17:16.519 the FBI has control of a case, each individual report 319 00:17:16.680 --> 00:17:18.559 has to be reported with the state that happened in. 320 00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:20.759 So if you've got a group like this that operates 321 00:17:20.759 --> 00:17:25.519 in multiple states, then it's like not one person, one organization. 322 00:17:25.599 --> 00:17:27.279 The government can't get together and do all of it 323 00:17:27.319 --> 00:17:30.920 at once, right. So and then it's another issue too 324 00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:32.920 because they want exact dates, and I'm it's like, you know, 325 00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:35.759 if I said to you, do you what's the worst 326 00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:38.480 memory you have from your childhood and like say that 327 00:17:38.519 --> 00:17:42.799 it's say that it's like when some kid kicked you 328 00:17:42.839 --> 00:17:44.319 with a soccer ball or something, And I said, what 329 00:17:44.359 --> 00:17:45.359 exact day did it happen on? 330 00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:47.319 Could you tell me that? Most people couldn't. 331 00:17:47.359 --> 00:17:50.920 So they're they're expecting things of of me that I 332 00:17:50.960 --> 00:17:53.599 honestly can't do. I can tell you roughly what age 333 00:17:53.599 --> 00:17:56.119 I was based on reference points like what teacher I 334 00:17:56.119 --> 00:17:59.319 remember going to or you know, something like that, but 335 00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:02.519 the exact dates. Unless I know the exact date, which 336 00:18:02.519 --> 00:18:06.559 I do, sometimes it's difficult to report on. So basically, 337 00:18:06.599 --> 00:18:09.240 the chief of police came back and sat down with 338 00:18:09.279 --> 00:18:12.519 me and I for three hours. I recounted as much 339 00:18:12.519 --> 00:18:18.000 as I could remember dates for and things for, and yeah, 340 00:18:18.039 --> 00:18:20.519 he looked about as dramatized as ever. After I ended 341 00:18:20.599 --> 00:18:22.839 up saying what I said, and he went back, and 342 00:18:22.920 --> 00:18:26.200 this big case was opened, and I spent a while there. 343 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:30.200 For a few I was getting crime victims reparation money, 344 00:18:30.279 --> 00:18:33.400 and I spent a while there like reporting to them. 345 00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:34.240 They would film me. 346 00:18:34.200 --> 00:18:37.839 While I would talk about what had happened, specific incidents 347 00:18:37.839 --> 00:18:40.559 that they would want to know about, looking at mug shots, 348 00:18:40.599 --> 00:18:43.319 looking at missing pictures of children, things like that. And 349 00:18:43.359 --> 00:18:46.799 then they decided in the end that despite the amount 350 00:18:46.839 --> 00:18:49.480 of evidence that I had, which is actually a lot 351 00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:52.680 more than most people escape with in my scenario because 352 00:18:52.680 --> 00:18:54.799 of the time lapse and the fact that they're really 353 00:18:54.839 --> 00:18:57.720 good at covering their tracks, I had escaped with a 354 00:18:57.759 --> 00:18:59.039 pair of jeans I was raped in. 355 00:18:59.079 --> 00:19:00.240 I had escaped with a human. 356 00:19:00.119 --> 00:19:02.960 Tooth that I took from a sacrifice, and I gave 357 00:19:03.000 --> 00:19:06.640 all this to them. So despite all of that and 358 00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:08.839 the scars which they did scar mapping on my body 359 00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:11.799 and everything, the case was handled over the district attorney. 360 00:19:11.960 --> 00:19:14.720 The district attorney gets to decide whether they have enough 361 00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:17.799 tangible evidence to prosecute. See, most people don't understand that 362 00:19:19.119 --> 00:19:22.240 hearsay is not enough reason to prosecute someone, and it's 363 00:19:22.279 --> 00:19:24.680 not even enough reason for a search warrant. And it 364 00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:26.680 makes sense when you think about it, Like if you're 365 00:19:26.759 --> 00:19:29.200 my neighbor and I say you've got bodies buried in 366 00:19:29.200 --> 00:19:30.160 the backyard. 367 00:19:29.799 --> 00:19:33.119 I listen. Whatever point she's about to make right now, 368 00:19:33.160 --> 00:19:35.920 I'm sure it's a good one. But most of the time, 369 00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:46.160 district attorneys are not your friends. Okay, the people in 370 00:19:46.240 --> 00:19:52.359 the area who be a part of this shit cover 371 00:19:52.519 --> 00:19:57.759 it up and bury it. The district attorney for the 372 00:19:57.880 --> 00:20:01.400 John Benet case was a pe shit and then went 373 00:20:01.480 --> 00:20:07.240 on to work for John Ramsey. There's been many a 374 00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:15.480 district attorney. The district attorney in the Minton does Brother's case. Okay, 375 00:20:16.599 --> 00:20:25.000 they are not your friend, and they're probably probably involved 376 00:20:25.240 --> 00:20:30.720 with this stuff. Like she's got if this is real. Okay, 377 00:20:30.799 --> 00:20:35.680 this is true. She's got teeth, she's got shit, Okay, 378 00:20:35.720 --> 00:20:39.920 this ain't. No, oh, my neighbor's got body's buried in 379 00:20:39.960 --> 00:20:43.920 the backyard like the burbs or some shit. No, she's 380 00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:51.240 got artifacts from the rituals that she can present. And 381 00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:57.079 yet well the district attorney no, fuck that. Okay, the 382 00:20:57.200 --> 00:21:02.960 district attorney is probably in on it. 383 00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:07.240 But anyways, I could do that just to piss you off, 384 00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:09.319 just to make the cops come over to your house. 385 00:21:09.359 --> 00:21:13.119 So just one person saying something is not enough for that, 386 00:21:13.559 --> 00:21:15.720 as we saw with the recent case where there's like 387 00:21:15.799 --> 00:21:17.599 all the girls being kept in the backyard and the 388 00:21:17.640 --> 00:21:19.599 cops were sent to the house and they didn't even 389 00:21:19.599 --> 00:21:24.079 go in the backyard, so it wasn't Basically, the district 390 00:21:24.119 --> 00:21:27.119 attorney made the executive decision to keep the case cold, 391 00:21:27.160 --> 00:21:30.640 where basically it's not like it's closed, it's open, but 392 00:21:30.720 --> 00:21:33.480 it's waiting for further evidence or waiting for further people 393 00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:36.799 to come forward. Essentially, where is this case at. I 394 00:21:36.799 --> 00:21:39.640 think they're keeping it in a North Logan police department. 395 00:21:39.759 --> 00:21:43.920 Okay, and how do you how does it feel that, 396 00:21:44.119 --> 00:21:46.960 I mean, you have all this, you know, all this happened. 397 00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:51.720 You have all these stories. The police chief obviously believes you. 398 00:21:51.720 --> 00:21:54.200 You mean, but how does it make you feel to 399 00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:56.720 not be able to have a prosecution, that they can't 400 00:21:56.759 --> 00:21:57.599 go after these people? 401 00:22:00.279 --> 00:22:00.480