Speaker 1: You. I'm now listening to soft Core History.
Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to soft core History. I'm
your host for the weekdam regester, and let me be
the first to wish you a happy Christmas.
Speaker 3: That's the British way to say it, Happy Christmas.
Speaker 2: That's Rob Fox. I'm always joined by him. And we
have a special guest today, the very merry scottle Lopez.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I dressed like Santa's Greatest Elf today. Don't like
how you said Happy Christmas though, that was Did you
watch Harry Potter or something? Is that where that came from?
Speaker 2: It is a Christmas movie.
Speaker 3: Happy Christmas, Henry, Happy Christmas, Henry. We'll get you one
of those sweaters that Ron gets every single year.
Speaker 2: I was trying to do the Chris Barman thing, and
let me be the first.
Speaker 3: No one knows who that is.
Speaker 2: Everyone knows who Chris Berman is. He's a legend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, based on the age of our listeners, they know
who Chris Berman is. Looking at the stats on the
back end, they know Chris bur Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's ninety six percent mail all over thirty.
Speaker 3: It's all millennial mails.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a reference that works absolutely all.
Speaker 2: Right, so welcome into our new subscribers, our new listeners.
If you somehow found this after watching one of our
sketches that little Robbie boy over there wrote and acted in.
Speaker 5: Hello, but Dan beautifully shot and edited.
Speaker 2: I'm not on air talent, and that's a great way
to kind of get into this episode.
Speaker 3: Yeah, as the host for today, I'm not great on air.
Speaker 2: We're behind the scenes peeling back the curtain with that
transparent Yeah, but Scott, what's going on then?
Speaker 3: Oh, you know, beautiful day. I had to miss Dungeons
and Dragons for this, but you know, I'm sorry. You're
looking forward to playing that, dude.
Speaker 2: I know you have a happy you have a barred.
Speaker 3: I have a barred named Sabrina Carpenter. He's a little
halfling and he has a gene shorts that say short
and sweet on the butt cheeks of them. Love that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, kind of a sexual confusing situation there, but it works.
Speaker 3: You just ai Sabrina Carpenter as a halfling and it
pops up. Yeah. Yeah, I just put that in the
group chat, like, Hey, this is my character.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't know I from looking at him if you're
unfamiliar with the show. But scott ex Military and that's
why we actually have you on the show.
Speaker 3: Oh, a military themed episode my expertise. Yeah, as you
can tell, I look like a homeless veteran today.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean you could. That's forever done. You could
just say veteran.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's true. I was homeless for a week once.
Oh sick, and I mean immediately put on my insagram
I'm a homeless vet. You have to the first night
I was living in my car, I put.
Speaker 1: It up the homeless gonna say, like, were you legally
homeless or literally homeless? Because it's two different things, right, Like,
you could be legally homeless where it's just like you
don't currently have a residence, but you're sleeping at your
parents or your friends or something like that.
Speaker 3: I was sleeping in an attic of my buddy's house,
uh in Indiana, no insulation. I slept in a sleeping
bag because it was really cold at night. But his
dad owned the house and he kicked me out.
Speaker 2: Is this when you were driving a Brinks truck? Yeah yeah,
yeah through Gary, Indiana.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was awesome.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's the worst possible person you could
have driving a money truck.
Speaker 3: A homeless man. Yeah, yeah, but I had to bank
what is it? Integrity? Is that what it's called? Yeah,
not steal. Yeah, I'll protect that rich man's dollar at
all costs. I did gain money here and there because
you walk up to an ATM and a gas station
that just has twenty dollars bills like in the little tray. Yeah,
so I would just take those every once in a while.
Speaker 5: Oh great, Yeah, you're just a little ATM vulture.
Speaker 3: I think I won, Like all right, I won. I
think I got eighty dollars total in my five years there.
I just found twenties. Yeah, it's not bad. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, we bring you on or Jack or sometimes even
coop to kind of be our shield when we want
to talk military guns.
Speaker 1: Yeah, shit that we are immediately guns, especially out of
our depth, completely out of our depth. I'm like, yeah,
that one. It makes more of a bang sound. Where's
the other one?
Speaker 2: I like guns, and I have shot in guns. I
just don't know dick about them.
Speaker 1: Right, I mean guns are like cars to me. Right,
I drive a car. Obviously I have shot guns, but
I don't know what's going on, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I can't change my o.
Speaker 1: No, no, the car is borderline magic for me, you
know what I mean. Like, it's just I'm like a
the like the dumbest version of a modern man, where
I'm just like, you turn the key and you travel
faster than humans were ever meant to travel.
Speaker 3: Dopo boot boo, boot boop.
Speaker 5: I don't know how any of it works. I'm just
a modern man.
Speaker 2: Ride in your machine horse.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: As far as guns go, like I probably know like
ninety percent more than everyone, but you.
Speaker 2: Are also you know, working for a major.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but in that ten percent of like gun company
or gun nuts, I don't know, I'm like the bottom
part of that percent, right right right, I'm like, hey,
I just don't care enough about the internals of everything
and bullet velocity and just like the those things that
you get in the weeds of.
Speaker 1: I Yeah, well it's I like to say, like about
his history, right, Like I'm a one percenter, Like I
feel like I know more than most people about history.
But if you put me up against anyone that actually
like knew a lot about history, I.
Speaker 3: Would do very poorly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean, Like I am a
one percent of the same way some a family making
five hundred k is a one percenter, but technically they're
lumped in with Jeff Bezos. Yeah right, it's not the same.
There's a huge gap, humongs gap.
Speaker 3: So I'll do my best tonight and we'll see what happens.
Speaker 2: Listen. Our thing rob is sports. And even now the
older I get, the less I remember things. Information, names, Oh,
it's all slipping away, so it's hard to keep up
with At this point.
Speaker 1: It used to be like I would hear like parents
or something, be like he knows my son knows all these.
Speaker 3: Sports players in the steff it's.
Speaker 1: So impressive, and I'm like, no, it's not. Didn't I
have to think about anything else. He's his whole fucking
brain for that.
Speaker 3: Are you kidding?
Speaker 2: And the only reason I really know anything about history
is because of this podcast. And I did fantously get
a five on the USAP History test.
Speaker 3: Whoa boom? Is that good?
Speaker 2: It's the highest score you can get.
Speaker 3: Nice.
Speaker 2: I got six credit hours in college for it.
Speaker 3: Wow. I flunked my AP English class my junior year
because I was like, I'm not going to college and
they were like my teacher was like, I'm not gonna
fail you because you're not trying. I'm gonna fail you
because you do try. And then I just did the
work and failed on that, and then she finally kicked
me out.
Speaker 2: Oh you failed on your merits, yes efforts.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, because well, I was just not doing
any of the homework. They wanted me to do three
book reports over the summer for the first day of.
Speaker 2: The bullied ap US history teacher did not give us homework.
Speaker 3: Nice. Nice.
Speaker 5: We just a lot of papers, a lot of papers, a.
Speaker 2: Lot of papers, and it really came down to the
test at the end.
Speaker 3: I probably would have done great on whatever test, but
I just didn't try it because I already knew I
wasn't ever going to college.
Speaker 2: So but I'm sure we've lost people with the preamble.
Let's get to the topic today. We're talking about a
Christmas party at West Point, Oh, specifically the famous eggnog
riots know about this? Here about this?
Speaker 3: Ro've never heard of this one?
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I think Jeff Davis is quite central to it.
Speaker 2: He is, Yeah, Jeff Davis. Jeffy Davis starting trouble at
a young age.
Speaker 1: Always always given the authorities the what for someone on
uh the sketch with Jack commented that the Union were fascists.
Speaker 2: People are just throwing that out left and right. I
don't think they know what then means.
Speaker 3: Yeah, was the side not fighting to keep people enslaved?
The fascists? Yeah, that they were the bet the ones.
Speaker 2: You sure about that.
Speaker 1: I don't think there were fascists on either side of
that a war, to be quite honest.
Speaker 2: But West Point first opened in eighteen oh two. It
was only after the War of eighteen twelve the Congress
began to take the academy seriously, and Colonel Sylvanius Thayer
was appointed as superintendent in eighteen seventeen to give it
more legitimacy. Though Fayer was allowing alcohol at parties in
his first eight years, he somehow changed his stance on
the matter in eighteen twenty five.
Speaker 1: By the way, like you didn't well, actually, I won't
say this definitively. I don't think you had to be
eighteen even to be at West Point at that time.
Speaker 3: So there's like a sixteen year old there. It's like, ah,
I have fun boy. Yeah, But I don't know where
this was going. But I would say if he banned
alcohol at parties for a military academy, that probably wouldn't
be good.
Speaker 2: It's a bad time.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Tell us about some of your best and worst Christmas
experiences in the military. What's your saddest story you have
from a Christmas overseas.
Speaker 3: The saddest would just be I guess the first Christmas
I had just gotten to Korea, like late November, and
we had a month long winter.
Speaker 2: Tree year old as hell Korea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, people forget. People don't really think they don't
know what Korea's weather is. They're just like, uh, yeah,
it's in Asia. It's I mean, it's basically like American
type weather for the most war, where.
Speaker 2: You think the same thing with Japan. But Japan, I
think is like the country that has the most snowfall
of any in the world, and that includes Russia.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also Japan though gets hot as balls. Like
during the Olympics a couple of years ago. I remember
watching tennis and being like, They're like these players have
never dealt with humidity on this level, and I was like, what, what.
Speaker 3: Where are they Korea? It's really taking it out of
superhumid the winners. I didn't know that cold hurts bones.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: We had people from the Northern States in America being like, oh,
this is cold here in Korea. Is youre a COWI boy, Yeah,
I'm also I never lived in snow until this Christmas.
We spent a month training in the field, so that's
just like sleeping outside doing drills, you know, kind of
all day all night. But for actual Christmas, they gave
us essentially a two day break, but we were still
that they gave us shelter. They put us in a
room with a bunch of bunk beds for Christmas, and
we used a car tree air freshener for our Christmas tree.
And I was like, this is fucking depressing, Like that
was just sad Christmas. We were all just sitting there like, yeah,
this is our tree in this room full of thirty
really smelly guys that haven't showered in two weeks, and
we had a you know, a little car freshener tree
that everyone was rubbing on their balls. Just yeah, at bit,
there's so much cranking.
Speaker 2: There's so much cranking. Yeah, you got to keep the
air fresheners in the room for the amount of seamen
that gets passed.
Speaker 3: Well, you knew, because if if you were in the
bottom bunk, you would hang over a poncho, Like from
the top mattress, you would pull a poncho and kind
of laid over your bunk for like only a halfway
privacy because the other side can still see you, right,
so half of the side couldn't see you cranking it.
The other half could.
Speaker 1: But presumably if you all have the ponchos on the
same side, Yeah, then technically no one's seeing indy.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's that's how we had to do it. And
that's just weird. Just a bunch of dudes, all right, guys,
it's that time again. Let's all just crank. That's uh,
that's how we That was our tensil for the Christmas
tree was just a bunchet. Come we on the the pine.
Speaker 2: Of Oh what.
Speaker 3: I liked that.
Speaker 1: This is also just like what people just if you
forgot for a moment, what he's describing is the most
elite fighting force in human history.
Speaker 5: By a good stretch.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it blows my mind how how much I didn't
trust my guide to my left and right with a gun,
and I'm like, we're still better than every other country. Yeah,
it's insane.
Speaker 5: Now, did you ever deal with any West pointers?
Speaker 3: I actually did? Yeah, I was gonna go into that.
I dealt with two. One was our XO, which is
like the executive commander. I think he's the one underneath
the captain of your company. You have a captain's in
charge of the whole company, which is like one hundred people.
Speaker 1: He kind of does like all the details of our EXO.
Speaker 3: Was a west Point guy. He's actually I think he's
he's in politics now. I saw him on Facebook running
for something in Pennsylvania. Couldn't tell you what it was.
Don't even know his name. And then I met a
west Point running back who was attached to Fort Hood
for like training essentially for like a week. They's attached
like a guy to the infantry. And I didn't salute
him because he was a fucking cadet. And he got
really mad that I wouldn't salute him. Oh yeah, he
doesn't have his rank yet, right, he just I think
they have like little circle dots on their rank or something.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they're not.
Speaker 3: But he wanted me to salute him, and I was like,
I don't even know your name.
Speaker 2: Yeah, ude, not to mention the football players at west
Point they're dirty as well, Yeah, chop blocking, hitting the knees.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I respect that though he's a
running back. That's the he's the warhorse of that fuck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's getting every single snap.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that was cool, but I didn't talk to
the guy. I was also a huge asshole, So he
would that come to me, like, hey, Lopez, what do
you think about doing this? I think, nah, I don't.
I don't know, sir, and I would just kind of
walk away every time between you were twenty yeah, I
was still twenty. I think everybody was just a dick
when they were twenty.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: See there was other nineteen or twenty because I got
out two weeks after I turned twenty one, so so
you were the same age as him. Probably maybe he
was a little older. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. And I
was like, dude, I at that point, I was already
three years in, almost on my way out. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean that's like the typical you see it in
movies all the time, but it's like it's true. But
it's also like kind of a trope where it's just
like dudes like enlisted who've been in for a while
and some fresh new officer comes in.
Speaker 3: They're like all right, boys, and they're all just like
God damn it. Yeah, that was me to it ta. Yeah,
that's not Also, it would be funny just to do that.
They go, hey, I'm the new guy in charge of
this platoon. I'd be like, nah, I know you're not.
You suck dude.
Speaker 1: The most elite fighting force in human history by quite
a bit.
Speaker 2: I imagine grunts have always felt that way. Imagine the
rough Riders having to listen to Teddy. Yeah when he
came in with his bullshit.
Speaker 5: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Get oh.
Speaker 1: I mean we've said before Teddy's a bad hang and
probably a bad commanding officer too.
Speaker 5: There's that other one we did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so many people just like unnecessarily kill that. Sam
Juan Hill probably did.
Speaker 5: He was probably like there were machine guns on the
top of that hill.
Speaker 2: Literally, I think they took a hill and he was
just like, all right, we're on to the next one there,
Like can we just chill.
Speaker 1: For just a minute please, And he's like, boys, bully
you brave boys, bully to all of you.
Speaker 5: May we long remember.
Speaker 1: They're dead, And like there's just some guy with like
his intestines out.
Speaker 3: Like we could have called artillery. That's why I'm never
surprised when like like a patune would like maybe put
rat poison in their like lieutenant's coffee, just to make
them sick. And then hey, now we're back in charge.
We don't got to all go up this hill and die.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're essentially put this band into place because of
the Fourth of July festivities in eighteen twenty five that
had devolved into chaos, and the Christmas Party in eighteen
twenty five and the Fourth of July party in eighteen
twenty six went on under these new alcohol free sanctions,
but by December eighteen twenty six, Cadets were determined to
not have to suffer through a third straight sober party.
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, you gotta remember this is there's there's a line,
a hard line on what alcoholism in America is, and
pre prohibition, it's unthinkable. Yeah, like just a level of
drinking that is bananas.
Speaker 3: There was a month in Korea where we weren't allowed
to drink, and you know, I wasn't supposed to because
I was eighteen, but no one really cared as long
as you didn't get in trouble. I thought on base
you were cool. No, No, it's still illegal because we're
like federal government workers or whatever. Even off base, you
couldn't drink anyways, we still would, but.
Speaker 1: They wouldn't let you drink if you like went out
because Korea is probably eighteen, right, yeah, I mean they
don't care.
Speaker 3: As long as they see in American with money, they'll
they'll serve you boosts. Yea, yeah, yeah. So I got
my whole party and going to bars phase out of
the way when I was eighteen because they didn't care.
But for a month they stopped us from drinking because
we were doing our pre training for our a course
for the Expert Infentry Badge. And for some reason most
of us like didn't drink, maybe because we were working
at night all the time doing line navigation and shit.
But the day that we finished this course, the booze
were flowing. And again back to the greatest fighting force
on Earth. I saw a squad leader and a team
leader come out with like a stapler and they were
stapling each other's foreheads just for fun. Then they went
to their tongues, then their nipples, then their dicks, and
then their buttholes with this stapler. And these and these guys,
both of these guys had multiple like IRAQ deployment. These
guys were bad ass. That makes it. I won't say
their name, but one was really sweaty, one was really old.
But I saw them spread their own butt cheeks while
another guy went in there like a doctor and like
surgically stapled this man's butthole.
Speaker 2: That's just military lemon party. Yeah.
Speaker 3: But if I if I would like talk back to
one of these guys, they would kick my ass. But
on this day I saw both their buttholes while we
were just smoking cigarettes out front. This is outside of
our barracks.
Speaker 5: Well, I don't want to contaminate the barracks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for ass.
Speaker 2: Bloody cadets soon devised a plan of smuggle alcohol on
the campus to mix with their traditional eggnog. At Martin's tavern,
cadets William R. Barnley of Alabama, Alexander J. Center of
New York, and Samuel Alexander Roberts of Alabama almost got
into a fight get in the whiskey. Back to West Point,
Private James Dugan, the duty security guard, agreed to let
the three cadets take a boat across the Hudson to
smuggle the whiskey nice. Burnley, Center and Roberts doubled that
promise and successfully obtained two US gallons of whiskey.
Speaker 3: Leave it to a private to be like, you know what,
fuck it, I don't care. Yeah, let's get two so
two jugs of milk. What let these dudes cross and
smuggle booze? That's what you have privates for. You make
them do things. Yeah. I made my private buy me
alcohol because I couldn't do it in Fort Hood, and
he could when I was a team leader. I was nineteen,
he was twenty two, and I beg, hey, his name
is Matt, mcmatt, go buy me a bottle of jamison.
He'd be like Roger, and you'd go and buy me
a bottle. I would share it with him, but right right,
I literally couldn't buy booze. So he was my plug
for alcohol. I liked that he was like Roger, Yeah, Roger.
Speaker 2: That they smuggled that into Room thirty three. Cadet TM
Lewis of Kentucky also returned with one US gallon of
rum from Benny's tavern to North Barrack Room number.
Speaker 3: Five, so three gallons of hard liquor. Nice.
Speaker 2: A Christmas party took place at Fair's residence, at which
wine was served. So rules for thee but not for me.
Speaker 3: Yeah no, that's.
Speaker 1: Fine because he's got the commander and there's other adults there, Like,
it's not these dipshit kids.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: During the party, a conversation ensued between Thire and Major
William J. Worth about disciplinary problems of one Jefferson.
Speaker 3: Davis, always a troublemaker.
Speaker 2: While at the North Barracks, cadets were getting ready for
the party. Preparations included stealing bits and pieces of food
during their visits to the mess hall took place. During
this time, cadets resided in the South Barracks found out
about the North Barrack party, and the next day, Christmas Eve.
Into the early morning of Christmas Day, the eggnog party
started among nine cadets in the North Barracks in Room
twenty eight. Numerous cadets appeared as the party progressed, while
another party began in Room five.
Speaker 1: I missed that type of drinking, like where the drinking
itself is so fun you don't even care who else
is there. Yeah, I don't have that anymore.
Speaker 2: The pregame, Yeah, you just just turns into a full
time party.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're just happy to be drinking and it's like
a novelty. Instead, it's like something I can go to
the store twenty times a day for.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean freshman year was tight.
Speaker 3: Freshman year, all of high school.
Speaker 1: Anytime you drank in high sto just felt like the
coolest thing you could possibly be doing.
Speaker 3: Back when you would drink jack and not try not
to make a face because it's disgusting. Yeah, you're like, oh,
this is so good, trying to depress some cheerleader.
Speaker 1: To this day, I really cannot drink rum because of
what Captain Morgan did to me one night in high school.
Speaker 3: Like it's just impossible.
Speaker 2: You thought you were so fancy if you got a
bottle of Johnny Walker black, Yeah exactly, you're like, dude,
it's mixed scotch.
Speaker 1: I honestly probably drank better alcohol in high school than college,
Like across the board.
Speaker 2: I had some all time bad drinks in college. Yeah.
Do you remember Sparks they like knock off four Loco? No,
they used to sell it in pallettes, Oh god, for
like nine dollars for a twenty four palette of Tallboys.
Damn the pink Flats in Walgreens.
Speaker 1: You remember that beer, Big Flats beer yeah, I did
not drink Big Flats beer. We stuck with Natty mostly,
but like in Daylight. The liquor, we had Walmart branded liquor,
like just like Walmart vodka. They had a name for it.
I don't member what it was. It might have been
just like Sam's vodka or something like that. Horrific plastic bottle. Yeah, yeah, yep,
And it tasted like the bottle like it just the
bottle was what gave it its flame.
Speaker 3: No matter what you mixed it with, it still tastes
like shit.
Speaker 5: You've still got the plastic taste. Ten high whiskey.
Speaker 2: Cadet Charles Whipple of Michigan, the Division Superintendent, went to
North Barracks Room number five at two am after hearing
a commotion interrupting eight singing cadets, including one Jefferson Davis.
Speaker 3: Yeah nice.
Speaker 2: Whipple returned to his room after a verbal exchange with Davis.
Lieutenant William A. Thornton was asleep while the events unfolded.
By four am, voices from the floor above were a
loud enough to cause faculty members to investigate room number
twenty eight, where Captain Ethan Allen Hitchcock knocked on the
door and found six drunk cadets as well as two
others sleeping in their beds. Oh, they were they're passed out,
they were cudling. Hitchcock ordered two of the cadets back
to their rooms, and after they left, Hitchcock woke woke
up the two sleeping cadets and ordered them to leave
as well. Then he confronted cadet James W. M. Weems
Beeren of Georgia. Hitchcock gave a lecture to the residents
of the room for possessing alcohol on the premises, and
he left around four fifteen am.
Speaker 3: What was Hitchcock's name again? Like first name?
Speaker 2: Do you remember Ethan Allen Hitchcock?
Speaker 1: Okay, because there was a famous Civil War general. Oh
that was Hancock.
Speaker 3: Fuck, I'm sorry. Yeah. I was like, oh, is it
this guy who is a Gettysburg.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of famous people that are just like
made a lot of history that just walked.
Speaker 2: Through those homes.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You know who's here at this time that does not
participate because he's a goddamn nerd.
Speaker 5: Picket or Lee Roberty Lee.
Speaker 2: Yeah, bitch, figure, he had nothing to do with this.
Lee is just no demerits.
Speaker 3: Yeah, out of door. Nark, absolute nark, total knock ves.
Speaker 2: Hitchcock went down to his room to sleep. Three times
he heard knocks on the door, only to find that
there was no one there, so they coult like ding
Don in his door.
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, that's fantastic.
Speaker 2: After finding another drunk cadet, Hitchcock saw Davis head to
room number five, where thirteen cadets were partying. Seeing Hitchcock's arrival,
Davis then started to warn everybody. The Captain entered the
room ordered one of the cadets to open up his
foot locker, but the cadet refused. Oh, Hitchcock ordered no
more disorder, left the room and started looking for Thornton
around four fifty.
Speaker 1: I mean, Scott, what you obviously weren't West Point, But
what the fuck would happen to you if an officer
came in said open your fucking foot locker right now
and you were like no.
Speaker 3: I'm a bad example for that because I was a
real shithead, so I would have said no and tried
to like wheel my way out of it afterwards. But
for the most part, and like in regular army stuff,
if an officer tells you to do something like you
have to do it. If you don't, they just grab
your squad leader. Then your squadlader will just like either
beat the shit out of you or you know, make
you run up the hill or bear crawler. It'll smoke
you in some sort of physical aspect, and if you
really fuck up, you'll you'll just go in the tree
lane and fight it out. But I also revolted against
one of my officers, oh, with my whole platoon once.
How'd that go fucking great? Actually, uh, long story short,
but he tried smoking my squad leader because my squaaer
was kind of talking about what that's like, where's hey
do push ups, bear crawls, sit up, flutter kicks like
that kind of thing, like some sort of physical exertion punished.
Just you're just hazing me, making me your bitch like
you're so my squaler was kind of talking shit about
this is like lieutenant because he just he was a thork.
He made us do dumb shit. One of my guys
got frostbite on his hands because we were doing pet
in the snow without like proper gear on yep. So
he just he made dumb decisions and he tried smoking
our squad leader once and I found out about this,
so I got my whole patoon. I was like, hey,
if he's gonna smoke him, he's gonna smoke all of us.
So we run outside with all of our like our
gear on, like our our plate carriers and everything. Yeah,
and I was like, if you're going to smoke sargeant
slang and you're gonna smoke all of us. Certain He's like, Okay,
go run to the AMMA building. So he ran to
the AMMA building, but we jogged it and then we
got information and marched back and uh, this this lieutenant
made our slogan conquer or Die, which was just gay
as fuck. Yep. Also, this is in Korea, Like nothing's
happening right in Korea, dude, grow up.
Speaker 1: One of my favorite parts about Generation Kill, which, by
the way, rip to the actor who played Ray in
Generation Kill killed himself today or last night?
Speaker 2: Really Yeah, damn.
Speaker 1: I know the best character in Generation Kill, like by
a mile, even though there are a lot of great ones.
I like, how when like those dudes show up who
are like the like after the Marine recon and like
I don't know if they're like from Texas National Guard
or what, but they put like barbed wire on the
top of their home v and had like longhorn horns
on the front, and they like all the Marine reco
who were like pros, They're just.
Speaker 3: Like fucking gay dude.
Speaker 5: Fuck these guys, Yeah, these fucking losers.
Speaker 3: Yep. So yeah, that that shit happens. So we form
up in this formation and we were yelling cock or
die cock. I gus, we're just marching back to our
lieutenant and I we walk up there, ASH go fuck you, sir,
and then my squads like Lopez bro. And I was like,
all right, that was that was two full And all
this happened in front of the new lieutenant who was
taking over for Johnston. Don't I remember the lieutenants name
because I was I was out of Korea in a
couple of months, but Johnston was the guy we were
revolting against. The new lieutenant watched all of this happen
and he's like, this is my new platoon. What the fuck?
And a week later, this new lieutenant comes up and
he's like, so we're gonna change our name. Whatever platoon
name you guys want, you have today off enjoy the weekend.
And we were like this guy fucking rules because he
saw how shitty this other LT was and trying. Obviously,
it wasn't that one instance that made us like the
revolting thing.
Speaker 1: Well, that's like the whole literally the entire plot arc
of the first episode of Band of Brothers, right, yea.
They have Captain Sobull who's constantly like Hio Silver running.
Speaker 3: Up the That was this. That was this guy, and
I feel bad for it now because he was trying
his best. And when when when I said fuck you sir,
and we were all standing at phone, but him, he
actually was like tearing up, like, guys, I'm just trying
to do my best and motivate you guys and x
y Z and we were.
Speaker 5: Like, you were doing it wrong, but also.
Speaker 3: You were you were You were so fucking dumb and
making things so much harder than they had to be.
Speaker 2: Soft. Our generation so soft, you can't handle hard coaching. Yeah,
Bobby and I I could never coach nowadays.
Speaker 1: No, he'd be canceled in like five. I mean, Mike
Leech got fired for throwing Craig James's kid in a shed.
Speaker 2: There was nothing wrong with that. He was helping him
with his concussion. Yeah, he was in protocol. He's like,
he can't be in the sun.
Speaker 3: Sheds are cool.
Speaker 2: I think like Texas's quarterback David ashback in the day
literally had to stay in his dorm in the dark
for like a month and a half because he had
so many concussions.
Speaker 3: Good lord, damn.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: So wait, how old was this lieutenant? Probably twenty two
twenty three, okay, so not much older than you.
Speaker 3: Well what age you normally graduate college?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: So yeah he was a second lieutenant. Yeah, that's that's
that's the first lieutenant. Yeah, so he was one of those.
He might have gotten his first lieutenant while he was
in charge of us, but yeah, he was crushy. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Say, my grandpa was a second lieutenant for about half
of World War Two and then got promoted to first lieutenant.
Speaker 3: After the Battle of the Bulch. I think, yeah, that
makes sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he wasn't actually in the World War two
battle though it was a different Battle of the Bulch.
Speaker 3: It was gay pornography.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why he got promoted.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, they're like he took that
bold real good.
Speaker 2: So Thornton was awakened by loud Yell's and, once out
of his room, was attacked by two cadets. Thornton then
put Cadet William P. M. Fitzgerald of New York under
arrest for brandishing a weapon. Cool Fitzgerald retreated from Thornton.
Then two cadets in room number twenty nine were also arrested.
Noises erupted from the South Barracks, which distracted Thornton. While
going to investigate the commotion, Thornton was knocked out by
Samuel Alexander Roberts, who had been ejected from room number
twenty eight by Hitchcock earlier that evening. So he ran
in and literally just knocked his ass out, just cold
cocked up.
Speaker 3: This all makes total fucking sense. My god.
Speaker 2: At this point though, Jefferson Davis, he's asleep.
Speaker 3: He's clocked out for the night, he's.
Speaker 2: Drunk as hell, just passed out. Yeah, So anything that
happens after this point, it's just like, that's not my fault.
Speaker 3: That was Sometimes the best move is on whatever given day,
you just get as drunk as possible, as fast as possible,
so you go to sleep and then when you wake up, like, hey,
so and so is in the hospital, or these two
guys got into a fight and broke this dude's nose.
But you're like, oh, I was sleeping. I wasn't around that.
Speaker 1: That's also a great strategy for I assume a job
where you don't get a lot of sleep, right, yeah,
Like you wake up early at least, so like on
your off day when you're drinking, you're like, you know what,
it's noon, I'm gonna get just shit face drunk for
the next four hours, go to sleep at five and
sleep for twelve hours.
Speaker 3: What also helped I learned this granted still underage, but
my like upper leadership didn't know how old I was,
and so I would get off work, go to the gym,
and then just start drinking immediately. So if they're like, oh,
hey we lost a pair of night vision everyone wants
to come back to the company to look for it.
I'd be like, oh, I'm drunk. I can't report for duty. Yeah,
and they were like fuck god again. You know, even
if if it was a day off too and I've
had nothing planned, I was in the barracks at nine
am cracking a beer and they can't say shit, right,
yeah they can. If they looked into me being nice
teen or twenty, they could have h like demoted me
and took my payaway and shit like that. But they
never did that much. It's also just paperwork and people
don't want to do that kind of stuff exact, Yeah,
the paperwork.
Speaker 1: And also like again, you're not on a front. Yeah,
you know what I mean, you're not in a war.
Speaker 3: Yeah, in Afghanistan, we never drank anything like that was
just a no.
Speaker 2: Go, and then the DMZ could just pop off at
any point.
Speaker 3: True. We were looking forward to that the interview. That
movie came out while I was in Korea. So you
guys know how Kim Jong U all hands on deck? Yeah, yeah,
so we were like, I've threatened into like nuke America.
We were like def Con A or whatever the fucking
the highest level of alert is, which just meant nothing
for us. Yeah, but I did watch the interview in
a movie theater with a bunch of Korean soldiers. It's
one of the highlights of my life. Like at the
end spoiler when Kim Jong U gets blown up out
of with that tank in.
Speaker 2: Helicopter to firework dude.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, the stadium or the theater erupt with these
South Korean soldiers just laughing and cheering. It was one
of the coolest things I've ever seen in my life. Awesome.
And they're like, oh, he's so fat, He's so fat,
and I'm like, yeah, he is. It was just electric.
Speaker 1: Were you at any point just like, god, damn it
seth Rogan, like when you had to do extra shit, Yeah, mother,
right fucker.
Speaker 3: The worst part about Korea was once a month we
would have like a drill of like if North Korea attacked,
and it was always at like four am on a weekend. Well, yeah,
they're not doing it too, and so we would be
drinking until two am, which is our curfew. We had
a curfew there, which was gay, and then they wake
us up a betfore, like, hey, you need to get
every single piece of equipment. You have two are like tanks,
strap them up, get ammo, get your guns. And it
was like an all day event just to sit there
and during this drill.
Speaker 5: That sounds like a living hell.
Speaker 3: Once a month you just be hammered with like one
hundred plus pounds of gear. I was a machine gunner,
so I had to carry my tuffle bag, my chemical gear,
so like a gas mask and chemical clothing closed for
like a couple of weeks, so you had your rucksack,
your duffel bag, my assault bag with my ammo and
my spare barrels in it, plus all my gear. It
was like one hundred and fifty probably pounds. I have
to just walk a mile to our trucks. Load them up,
Go grab my ammo, grab the machine gun. Fuck. I
think you just sat there for eight hours. The command
walked around and checked it. Oh you got all of
your stuff. Good job.
Speaker 5: When you say machine gunver you saw?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I had a saw. Yeah, it was cool. I
had a saw. I was in a scout, a scout team,
so they all had like M one ten sniper rifles
or like in fours, and I was like their support dude. Okay,
so like, hey, if anything happened, you just shoot a
lot of AMMA while we run away.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and that's pretty tight. You just sit in
the back and lay down cover fuck until we.
Speaker 3: Were like literally crawling up mountains sometimes. Yeah, like I'd
be on my hands and knees, like climbing a mountain
with one hundred and something pounds worth of machine guns
and AMMO and barrels, and that part sucked. But you
wouldn't wouldn't have an assistant gunner. No, saws don't have
that's a two forty okay, so the gun team that's like,
that's like the bigger machine gun. That's where you have
a guy with the tripod and thinks, okay.
Speaker 2: That's why you're here. Yeah, you gotta clarify that.
Speaker 3: Yep, yeah, you're right. Yeah, but yeah, a sawgunner carries
all their own AMMO, and your spare barrels and all
that kind of stuff. That makes sense.
Speaker 1: So it's more like the saw is more like the
World War two coolent of like the bar Yes, exactly.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Around five am, Hitchcock returned to his room number eight,
where he was staying. Several cadets then attacked his door
and even fired a shot into the room through the door.
Speaker 3: Fuck do they live? Ammo? I mean it makes sense,
but that's cool.
Speaker 1: But can you imagine drunkenly trying to load a pistol
in eighteen twenty You're just like, like there's times i
can't even like put my password into my phone because
I'm I'm like so drunk that like my face doesn't
even look right. Like bit like imagine you're like you
gotta take the powder, like.
Speaker 3: And then like jam it down and then get the ball.
Speaker 1: And then cock it and you gotta put the little
percussion thing on there. Yeah, to be like you get
and that's like a little like you're just like like
you're seeing four fucking things to put it on.
Speaker 3: You're like, it's like severely overpowdered and over pressured.
Speaker 1: It's either severely overpowdered or you've you've spilled half the
powder on the floor, so it's just not even capable
of killing anyone.
Speaker 3: Just a curnade in your hand.
Speaker 2: I'm honestly disappointed they didn't roll in a cannon.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's got to be a lot of them all
over the place. Current day bases just have cannons for
like artwork.
Speaker 2: Do eternities have cannons in their front yards that they
just blow what occasionally?
Speaker 3: That's cool.
Speaker 5: That's the thing of my school.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: The fraternity one night decided it'd be sweet to shoot
off their.
Speaker 5: Non functional cannon, wasn't it.
Speaker 2: Micah.
Speaker 3: Micah was potentially involved in that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one of our friends.
Speaker 1: Uh, and they just jammed obviously didn't have like straight gunpowder, right,
so they just jammed it to the brim whole barrel
with fireworks and lit it and the cannon the actual
cannon exploded off the rig or whatever the wheels and
shot across the street into an apartment building. Oh dude,
what the The legend the the sort of like urban
legend is that it went through and then went down
through at least one floor. And the urban legend is
that two dudes or a couple people were playing either
ping pong or beer pong and it just went right
through their fucking ping pong table deservingly.
Speaker 3: So that would be so cool. Oh man, that's awesome.
Speaker 2: Hitchcock then opened his door after they fired a shot
through it and yelled that he just yelled at the
cad has stop, I'm tired of your tomfoolery. Like the
fired it's just like almost potentially could have shot you.
Speaker 5: They don't know what he's doing in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like they didn't peek through the keyhole to be like, okay, cool,
he's not behind the door.
Speaker 2: We can shoot through it, and he just, you know,
Willy Nelly opens the door like it's fine. Then he
makes arrest, though he makes a rest on the guys
that shot into the door.
Speaker 3: Boys.
Speaker 2: Several of the drunken cadets thought Hitchcock was getting the
bombarders to squash the riot using heavy weapons, causing several
cadets who were not drunk to take up arms in
defense of the North Barracks.
Speaker 3: Just for their boys, for their boys.
Speaker 1: Okay, oh okay, yeah, okay, like everyone that's sober man
the front line, the rest of us.
Speaker 3: I'm puken.
Speaker 2: Finally there had been awoken around five am by the
sound of the drums. He ordered his aid Patrick Murphy
to get Major Worth because of what he had heard
going on in the North Barracks. Hitchcock continued restoring order
in the North Barracks, getting into a fight with cadet
Walter Ot.
Speaker 1: This guy's just been throwing hands all night, Yeah, all night,
getting shot, Like every hour he has to get into
a fistfight, and yeah.
Speaker 5: People are shooting through his door.
Speaker 1: Still, I still appreciate that they were Just like Blase,
I've had it, like Scott, what would have happened if
you did you have a service pistol.
Speaker 3: In Korea or not? In Afghanistian?
Speaker 1: I did? What would have happened if you fired your
service pistol through a commander's door?
Speaker 3: I would have either gotten killed myself, just out of
the chaos of it, but definitely gotten kicked off of base,
probably put in like the what Levenworth, like the military prison.
I mean, we had dudes, partially maybe accidentally or on purpose,
open up with a machine gun on some like Afghan
Army guys. Probably they were they were probably looking suspicious,
but they just opened up with like a burst of
machine gun on some Afghan Army dudes and they got
kicked out of our base. Like so that you know,
I was on. I was on a special oper rations compound.
But that's the only reason why even deployed was those
guys shot out a bunch of Afghan dudes and then
they got kicked out of the base and had to
get replaced. And so that's why I went out of
the base, but not out of the military I have.
I don't know. I didn't know who they were, yea, yeah, yeah,
fair enough. I would imagine they didn't get like in
too much trouble because they're just like Afghan dudes and
we didn't care. But if I had opened up on
the commanding officer, I would have you'd be either gotten
killed or put in jail for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and as one boy that was actually helping him, Thornton,
he got knocked out. He was just in the stairwell.
Speaker 3: Yeah, out cold.
Speaker 1: Terrible for you by the way, to just be knocked
unconscious and laying there for hours and hours on end.
Speaker 3: On a staircase to your body's all fucked up, like,
oh God.
Speaker 2: Hitchcock Metworth and told him what had taken place. By
this time, Thire's aid had arrived to the North Barracks guardroom.
The second artillery had arrived to the North Barracks by
six oh five.
Speaker 3: Wait they brought artillery or the unit? Is the artillery unit?
Speaker 2: The artillery unit?
Speaker 1: Oh okay, that might have been Lee. I believe Lee
was an artillery officer.
Speaker 2: North Barrack residents who were not drunk from the ignog
were appalled by the damage property because they weren't cool
enough to be invited to the party.
Speaker 1: Probably yeah, it's I'm sure Robert E. Lee showed up
and we was just like, how dam are they defile
this beautiful institution?
Speaker 5: And Jeff Davis's future boss is like, shut.
Speaker 3: Up, you queer fucking bitch waking up still drunk. Yeah,
fuck you, Bobby, you are just the games motherfucker. I
fucking hate you, dude. It was a thing that if
you weren't an alcoholic in the infantry, we just didn't
like you as much like in work outside of work,
So that makes sense. If you weren't slamming, yeah, if
you weren't just partying in your ass off you were
like a sober or just like a quiet dude that
didn't talk, you just got bullied in work outside of work.
If we were drunk, we'd like we had like the
room code to them. We'd be like wake up, keiros
and like you should throw like whip cream at him
and shit.
Speaker 1: And there was my freshman year of college by fucking
fraternity pledge. Brother's girlfriend's roommate was like this quiet mouse
of a girl who loved Harry Potter. Looking back, this
is like I'd feel really bad about it. I didn't
do anything but other than laugh in the corner. But
like and he was like he would just like fuck
the shit out of his girlfriend while this girl who
had clearly not been exposed to anything her entire life,
was just in there. And then he's like, like it
was just this nice little girl who liked Harry Potter
and her parents were overprotective. And she gets to college
and my like piece of shit for turney brother is
just like taking his wet dick out and in the
fucking room and slamming his girlfriend, probably getting it like
sixty niningering and his fucking dick six blasting in the room.
Speaker 3: And at one point he's like, oh, dude, you gotta
come over and meet my girlfriend's roombait. She fucking sucks.
And I was like drunk, and I was like, okay,
I go over there. And we go in the room and.
Speaker 1: His girlfriend's like she asleep, and he's like, what's this
bitch asleep?
Speaker 3: Fucking what a fucking loser. And he goes up to
her and he's like, are you at sleep?
Speaker 1: And she clearly isn't, and it's just closing her eyes
hoping this all ends as quickly as possible. And he's like, oh,
did she just sleep? Check this out? And he just
takes his beer.
Speaker 3: Could be have beers with us.
Speaker 1: He just takes his beer and just pours it on
her head, pours it on her head, and she still
just stays so still, and it's just like please go away.
And I'm like sitting in the corner like uh, I
think we should leave.
Speaker 3: Mark. Yeah. I would see her around campus.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it'd be like, like just beb like midwestern and
never reading the room right or just being too polite
or whatever. I'd just be like hey, and she'd be like,
she's terrified if you Yeah, like I gotna do anything.
Speaker 2: Some of the cadets that were drinking remained in their
rooms and kept drinking six o'clock in the morning, although
some appeared in parade formation despite being drunk.
Speaker 3: Done a little bit, a half and half done that
quite a bit. Ye.
Speaker 2: Captain McKay, Academy Quartermaster took down details of the damages
to the property at the North Barrack so Paris could
take place the following days. I think roughly five thousand
dollars worth of damages at that time were done at
the Eggnog Riot.
Speaker 3: That's a big number.
Speaker 2: Nice five thousand dollars in eighteen twenty six whatever.
Speaker 3: That would be.
Speaker 1: The inflation calculator does not go back that far, like
you can google it, but like the actual inflation calculator
only goes back.
Speaker 3: To like nineteen ten. Oh wow, yeah, but my guess is.
Speaker 1: Five grand I'm thinking that's at least ten X that's
probably close to one hundred grand of damage.
Speaker 2: Many cadets who were drunk made it to company roll
call at six point twenty. The mutiny officially ended when
Cadet Captain James AJ. Bradford of Kentucky called the corps
to attention and dismissed them from the mess hall after breakfast.
Captain Hitchcock and Lieutenant Thornton were bruised, Thornton probably more
so than Hitchcock. Thornton's ego too, probably Bruce getting knocked
out by a younger Joe.
Speaker 1: If he wasn't looking at the guy, you know what
I mean, Like you're just standing there and some guy
was like, fucked you and just like punched him in
the side of the head. Like whatever, that's not on you.
You didn't lose a fight like some guy he just fucking.
Speaker 3: Swung on you. It's still gonna be amo used against.
Oh yeah, that's the sad part about it.
Speaker 2: Fair didn't really know what to do with the cadets
that went out of line.
Speaker 3: It sounds like it was half the half the school.
Speaker 2: He's like ninety people.
Speaker 5: And it wasn't. I don't know how many people go
to West Point now.
Speaker 3: But back then it was like I think it was
over two hundred.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well it wasn't a huge amount.
Speaker 3: Well that's probably like when you asked what happened when
we revolted against that lieutenant, Like, I don't know what
he could have done. Yeah, Like he could have done
the paperwork to like demote all of us and put
us on extra duty and take like I think it's
like a half half month's pay or maybe a full
month's pay that he could have done all that, I guess,
but he was on his way out because we had
that new lieutenant coming in that washed everything.
Speaker 2: Also, sorry, officially two hundred and sixty cadets total at
the school at the school in ninety had been involved
in the idea.
Speaker 5: Yeah, what was the third almost or a little over
a third.
Speaker 1: The other thing too, is that, like again this is
a plot point in the first episode of Band of Brothers.
Is that like eventually it reflects poorly on the officer. Yeah,
if you have to do that to your entire unit, yeah,
because then his higher ups are like, what the fuck
is going on that it got to this point?
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, instead of handing down a blanket punishment to all
those involved. West Point conducted a total investigation in January
of eighteen twenty seven. One and sixty seven witnesses were
called to testify, including cadet Robert E. Lee, who had
not participated in the riot. But you know, it was
just it was around.
Speaker 1: Called to testify. Huh, testify, testify, narc called to narc.
Speaker 2: Seems like we called it.
Speaker 3: That's embarrassing, called our shot. There's a lot of things
you could say about Robert E.
Speaker 1: Lee if even if you like him, But I will
say this, you cannot possibly possibly debate that he was
a good hang.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, there's no.
Speaker 1: World in which I mean, at least you know, George Washington,
at least you'll be having an ice cream party.
Speaker 2: But Lee. The investigation led to nineteen court martial proceedings.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, damn okay.
Speaker 2: Nineteen cadets were found guilty and expelled from West Point.
Jefferson Davis was not one of them. How Jefferson Davis
was allowed to stay.
Speaker 5: Well, he didn't shoot the gun.
Speaker 1: Well, he just got drunk and passed out for the Yeah,
presumably didn't punch anyone in the face, didn't get the booze.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I didn't didn't get the booze.
Speaker 2: Was just the main player, and once they had the booze,
we're gonna organize the parties. Yes, just had fun vocal
party goer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the hero of the story, you could say, And
that is the story of the Eggnog riots.
Speaker 2: What your boys learned today.
Speaker 3: This just sounds I mean, I learned about the whole
the whole thing. But it sounds like this the same
thing that happens nowadays in our military. Currently, as you
get drunk, you fight someone, hopefully not your own command structure.
Speaker 5: Hopefully are getting a fist fight with your fucking captain.
Speaker 3: But like I've seen, I've seen fist fights between like
sergeants and like privates. I tried fist fighting some of
my soldiers when I was a team leader. That was
not allowed all of a sudden.
Speaker 2: You guys didn't have like fight night.
Speaker 3: No, not not in Fort Hood. Fort Hood was was
way different than Korea. Korea was still like kind of
old school in those ways because it's only a one
year rotation. So we had a bunch of dudes from
like one hundred and first Airborne and like Ranger Battalion,
like some really heavy hitters that have deployed multiple times
and they know they're just there for a year. So
that's where it was. It was kind of chaotic, also
very like strict on things, and we trained a lot,
did a lot of cool stuff. But that's where I
saw and learned that if you can't like smoke someone
enough to where they listened to you and like obey
your commands or orders, you just beat the shit out
of them. We had a we had a dude named
Sergeant Joseph shout out he's tight, but he he would
tell me or out hear him yell when he get drunk,
like I'm tired of getting Private's blood on my uniform,
And I was like, is he is he serious about that?
You know'd he the tiny little guy I saw he
I must see him fight like six fucking dudes like
over the course of that year, and he beat the
ship out of every single one of them, to include
this like six foot three guy from Kentucky and like, sorry,
Joe was five to six at on his best day.
That's a dangerous man. But he's also like old school
iraq vet just like fucking chaos. And when he would
say that I'm tired of getting Private's blood on my uniform.
I saw it multiple times where he did, because he
would bust their nose and just get blood on him
and he'd get mad. Then he would make that private
biomen in a uniform Jesus Christ or a new top
at least. But that was that was fucking tight. Yeah,
and then I tried to emulate that, and then my
petun insarction was like, Lopez, you cannot do that at
any at any time, fight one of your own dudes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta be crazy though. It's like that Hang
Arnold episode. If you're smaller, Oh yeah, you just gotta
be crazy. Nobody wants to fight a crazy guy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: My friend Josh actually adhered to that episode and he
was nuts. He was. He wasn't a big guy. It
was like one hundred and forty pounds probably five nine,
and whenever he started a fight, and he always started
the fight, he would just headbutt people in the nose.
Oh yeah, and usually knock them out nice.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's a good way. That's a good opener.
Speaker 5: You take out the nose, they're not gonna want to
do anything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you take out like their vision comes with it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The minute somebody got in his face though, he just
went just really quick. That's awesome, knocked out a couple
of people from this whole thing.
Speaker 3: They fought like well the North and the South barracks
kind of or you know, they don't then they just
fight their command. But there was that like party line here.
That's how it was for us in Korea. Uh, the
taxi line would drop off our sister company, like you know,
to our west or whatever. So when the taxi would
drop off Able Company soldiers, they'd have to walk in
front of our company like barracks, and we'd all be
drunk smoking cigarettes out front, and we'd see this Able
Company guys, which they're also infantry in our battalion, and
we'd be like, the fuck Able Company is that that
whole thing? Imagine France kind of do that shit. Yeah,
and we so we would just start fights with whoever
was walking.
Speaker 2: We're tribal people.
Speaker 3: And then every once in a while we'd be like, hey,
Able Company, go find three guys to fight us, and
they would like walk back inside their barracks and they'd
come out with their three biggest dudes and we'd be like,
oh shit. And then we were just like all right,
then the five of us would go just fight these dudes.
But we did that so many times that our battalion
commander kicked us out of our battalion area of operations
are AO. He literally banished us from our area and
moved us a mile and a half away on top
of this mountain to be completely by ourselves. The next
closest building to us was the Alcohol Substance Abuse Program building,
which also really fitted us because I had to do that.
They mandatory made me do that once. But then we
had a walk. We had a march a mile and
a half every day to Pete at the company command area.
It's just warm up. And then when we had those
stupid drills of like hey North Korea is attacking. Yeah, yeah,
instead of moving all of our gear like a couple
hundred yards, it was now a mile and a half.
Speaker 2: What's the song they play every morning just start drills.
Speaker 3: It's Reverie Yeah yeah yeah. Then retreat is the one
where the flat comes down. But yeah we taps, No,
it was retreat. Taps is different than retreat, but yeah, yeah,
I think, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: They don't play hot crossbunds.
Speaker 3: They should, they really should have morale.
Speaker 2: H who's today's hitler?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 3: Lee? What say.
Speaker 2: Forgetting nineteen of his boys expelled?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think he testified. I think he Yeah, I
think he said some names.
Speaker 3: You can't testify. That's fucked up. Yeah. Then they get
expelled and then what hobo's yeah homeless veterans, Yeah he's Yeah,
he put nineteen people street.
Speaker 2: Are they veterans? They're not veterans?
Speaker 1: Uh, technically failed students, so technically they are. Apparently, because
if I believe, I believe Shane Gillis said that he
got ribbons for being in the military during the Iraq
War whatever, because he was at West Point for a year.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Really well.
Speaker 2: He also famously says that he was on SNL, was
in the army and played college football and like he
gets all of those accuolades and accomplished or did none
of those Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Like he was technically part of all
three but saw zero seconds of field stage or combat.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter. Yeah, put it on the resume, count it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it looks good on the resume.
Speaker 2: Anyway. That's our episode for today. We love you guys,
Thanks for tuning in. Scott, Happy Christmas.
Speaker 3: Dude, Stop saying that man.
Speaker 2: Happy Christmas, Scott, Happy Christmas, Harry. They don't do that
in Mexico.
Speaker 3: Why would I know what happens in Mexico.
Speaker 5: Belize Navidad? Does I think mean happy Christmas?
Speaker 3: Yeah? That is true. Oh yeah, Philly, like happy Birthday?
Is Felice Compliano's.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Felice is happy.
Speaker 3: It's not Mary. So yeah, the Mexicans are wrong.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 4: I wanna wee is you are made? I wanna wee
is you are mad? I wanna we ish you? I
mad Christmas from the bottom of me and robs Ha.
Speaker 2: Thanks for joining us.
Speaker 3: Scott, Yeah, you're welcome.
Speaker 2: Insight is always, you know, valued.
Speaker 3: This is a good one. I didn't go into any
sort of like military tactics or anything. It was just
partying and fighting and that's.
Speaker 2: Really all we care about.
Speaker 3: That's all I want to hear. Yeah, the actual cool stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, where can the people find.
Speaker 3: Lastro Lopez on Instagram? That's about it, all right?
Speaker 2: Check us out on our YouTube if you haven't already
watched the shorts. We got a couple coming this week
as well. Check out Patreon patreon dot COM's Last Softcore History.
We get two additional episodes every week on the Low Tier,
every Wednesday and Friday. We will not miss this week.
We will have those episodes we don't miss. We don't
miss Nice and Rob. I haven't talked to you about this,
but I figured I would just do it on air.
I think starting January first. Okay, prices for the Patreon
will go up. However, if you get in before, you
will be grandfathered into the price. Okay, So anybody, but
anyone that's on the Patreon right now, you're good. You're
Gucci as long as you don't delete it, you don't cancel,
and if you do and you come back, maybe we
can figure it out. Ye, manually, one on one, just
DM me. But yeah, get in now. Well it's still
five dollars. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like, if you were a long time subscriber but you
forgot that your old card was on the on the account,
we'll hook you up.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: But if you've kind of been indecisive whether or not
you want to join the Patreon, now's the time before
the prices go up.
Speaker 3: Gifted for Christmas.
Speaker 2: Yeah, gift to some people if you're already had a part
of the Patreon for Chris.
Speaker 1: Giving someone this Patreon for Christmas is four years of
Evergreen Country.
Speaker 2: There's so many episodes at this point, and.
Speaker 1: An entire audiobook of sketches, and then a bunch of
other like literally an audiobook's length of original written sketches,
and then all the game shows and watch Lungs and
other shit we do too.
Speaker 3: And sports.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sports is in the above tier though, yes, that's true.
That's an additional thing. So you can theoretically get three
episodes a week just on the Patreon including this. This
is free, so that would be four. But sports that tier.
I don't think that's gonna go up. It's just a
lower tier right now. You know, five dollars doesn't really
go that far in this economy.
Speaker 3: But that's for the Nubes, it's not for you guys. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So if you're already apart, and if you aren't
join before January first, and you will be grandfathered in otherwise,
I think we're gonna we'll actually discuss the prices, all fair.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, we're just getting more cut out from us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it. Patreon keeps like Nickel and Diamond.
Speaker 1: US Patreon Texas sales tax. There's another thing too, Apple,
Maybe they actually think Apple just fucks the listener.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but no, no, it sucks us too, oh fox
us too great, yea perfect. We get fucked so many
different ways. So yeah, we you know, we're just trying
to account for that, trying to survive, trying to make
this our thing.
Speaker 3: But the ogs are fine OG's.
Speaker 2: And people that sign up before January first get in. Now,
well it's hot that said. You know, five dollars foot
long is no longer five dollars. No, you ever go
to have you been a subway recently? You know how
much a five dollars foot long is?
Speaker 3: It's about eight dollars.
Speaker 2: Probably, dog, it's about fifteen.
Speaker 1: Well at least it's a literative again, fifteen dollars. Yeah,
that's the important thing is it remains a literative. Yeah, yeah,
seven dollars foot long.
Speaker 2: Don't worry. The prices will not The prices will only
go up for our Patreon like two or three dollars. Yeah,
So it's really not going to be that big of
a difference. We appreciate everyone that does subscribe to it, though,
very much so, and we want to reward you for
your loyalty and just grandfather you in not change the
price so sweet. Thank you for tuning in. We love
you guys. Merry Christmas, Scott, there it is. Merry Christmas, Rob,
Merry Christmas, and Merry Christmas to you at home for
Rob Fox, Scott Lopez. I'm damn d Jester. You just
got saft served