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Speaker 1: People who enter homes for a living, maintenance, cable contractors, etc.

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What's the strangest thing you've encountered when entering someone's home,

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speech pathologist. Here, I've encountered a road closet, as the

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family called it. They had towels stuffed under the door

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and they said it's where all the roaches are hiding.

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Speaker 2: They lied.

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Speaker 1: The roaches were everywhere. I'm a builder in London and

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one of our clients strangely kept our old used underwear

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behind the radiator. As I took the radiator off the wall,

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they all just dropped. Then my dad aka boss made

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me put them in a rubbish bag and I proceeded

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to heave and gag whilst putting them in the bag.

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Zero stroked ten experience. Fire Department responded to a call

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off a house fire from a residence alarm company unable

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to contact owner. Pont seen too a beautiful two story

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wood frame home, no fire or smoke showing maybour way

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inside and as soon as we got the door open,

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we noticed four foot stacks of the use papers everywhere.

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This huge home had so many papers stacked that there

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was only a small pathway from room to room. We

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got to the kitchen to find an elderly person under

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a pile of papers on the floor that had fallen

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on them while they were making breakfast. The bacon caught

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fire and set off the alarm, but didn't set any

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of the stacks in the kitchen on fire. We clear

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the papers and start to treat the patient, or all

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of a sudden we hear a huge cracking sound and

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the floor shifts a couple inches. The weight of the

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papers was too much for the house to handle. Emergency

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drag the patient out of path of papers to get outside.

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Patient was okay physically. Come to find out that the

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shifting we felt was actually the floor collapsing. Little did

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we know that the bottom floor was full floor to

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ceiling with newspapers and in effect stop the collapse since

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the floor couldn't fall any farther. Newish house had to

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be condemned and ultimately torn down. Never found out where

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all the papers came from. The customer's house I was

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at had one of those plastic coke bottles that had

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to share a coke with filled with what I'm almost

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positive with someone's ashes. It was on a shelf with

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some pictures and one of those small funeral cards with

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the same name as the bottle next to it. This

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gives me a really weird sense of existential dread. Imagine

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your final resting place being a coke bottle. Going into

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hoarders homes is the worst. Sometimes they have boxes of

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crap stacked from floor to ceiling and literally have a

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single Maize style route through their house apartment. Then when

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you're done working, they say something has gone missing and

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accuse you of taking it. Nobody wants whatever random trash

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you think is missing. Yet it's like, I apologize, but

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I couldn't resist helping myself to your kinoki footpads that

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are covered in rat pee not I worked as a

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home inspector for a while after land surveying work went

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away after the property crash in two thousand and seven.

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Eight I saw a couple of weird things, including one

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couple in their seventies who had their own Frick Dungeon

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replica set up in their attic. They even had life

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size posters of full frontal nude body shots off younger

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people with the couple's faces fottoshopped on the models. Adult

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toys and bonded stuff were laid out in the room.

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They were very nonchalant about the whole thing. One thing

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that bothered me the most when I was doing the work,

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people would sometimes leave their young children alone to let

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me into the house. If I knocked on a door

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and a child answered, I would ask to speak to

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an adult, and if no adult was available, I would

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politely tell them we would have to reschedule and I

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would leave. I refused to go into a house with

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just a child present. The people I worked for back

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me one hundred percent on that as well. A lot

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of people come to the door just wearing towels, women

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in t shirts and panties. Very strange. But one time

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I went into a home where a guy had tunneled

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through the shared basement wall and killed his neighbor.

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Speaker 2: It was creepy. Oh yeah.

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Speaker 1: One guy had a bunch of Mannikins behind the furnace.

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Scared the frie to me. One more I forgot about.

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Guy was into BSDM had chains on the walls, also

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toys and whips. He was very friendly, but I height

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heled it out pretty quickly. People ask me how I

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can go into strangers houses as a woman. Honestly, I

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don't really think about it. A dead body. I work

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in health care, and part of my job involved visiting

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the elderly who can't make it to my clinic. I

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was visiting one of my regulars last year when after

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knocking at the front door, she shouted through the window

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to use the back door. I get into her house

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and there was an open coffin blocking the front door

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with a dead body inside it. But turns out she

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was Catholic and was holding awake for her brother who

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had recently passed away. Strangest cueless thing I encountered during

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my home internet tech support job was at an old

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gun nuts home. One of the rooms was a museum

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of death, filled with stuffed trophy heads of every animal

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native to the area. Another room had four or five

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weapon safes. Finally, we get to dude's office, which is

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much more normal than the rest of the house. While

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we're waiting for his sister mate Mac to boot, I

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look at the pictures hanging on the walls. One of

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them is clearly the gun not when he was young,

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standing at ease in a diving vest and short shorts

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while being inspected by President Kennedy tl DR. Some crazy

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old dudes who claim to be Navy seals actually are short.

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Shorts are the sign of the bookends of manliness. One

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of my friends in high school lived in a dilapidated,

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hoarded tinder box with his mom and disabled brother. His

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mom was a sweet lady, but had been dealing with

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significant family loss on top of caring for a severely

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disabled son. It was all pretty sad. Among the utter filth,

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overflowing litter boxes, sink piled with gross dishes, cockroaches, was

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a cage with three rabbits in it, all of whom

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had skin infections and overgrown walrus teeth. It was actually

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a scare sight poor bunnies. During the worst of the

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housing crisis, I would go into to homes, take photos,

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write a report, and tell the bank how much money

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they would lose when they foreclosed. At an expensive and

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large home in an upscale neighborhood, I was greeted by

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a forty five year old white woman with breast lip

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and butt implants. She was a good looking woman before

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all of that, and now looked like a pornster. She

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greeted me with a board, go ahead and look around,

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and I proceeded to do my inspections and take photos.

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I did the ground floor first, then went upstairs. When

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I opened the double doors of the upstairs master sweet,

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I saw four met a tall by two meter wide

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portrait at the board house for stark naked spread eagle

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with her hands behind her head, tea pushed out and

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an exaggerated O expression on her face. The master bedroom

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and bath were an easy two thousand square feet, so

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it took a while to photograph everything. After about ten minutes,

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the lady of the house ran up the stairs and

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screenstop this instant, to which I replied, I'm not allowed

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to take images of people or pets, or even photographs

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of people. I can show you on my camera that

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I have no images of your nude painting. I don't

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care about that. I thought you were up here jerking

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off a neighbor did that our Christmas party last year?

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Yet nope, was a KERA new client to me. Heartbreaking Really,

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a man with dementia skipping around the house naked like

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skipping like a child. Got him dressed and feded meads.

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I was just covering that route for one day, not

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sure if it was his usual presentation, but sad all

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the same. Least he was happy. I've seen a lot

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worse like women stuck in the time frame, their baby died, etc.

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I'm too lazy to write out all the details, but

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worked for DirecTV. I climbed under house, couldn't find my

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glothes stick to show where I drilled through the floor.

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Kept looking and discovered it had been covered by ants

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that were feasting on dead danners. The guy had been

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killing animals and throwing them under his house. I called

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the cops and left quickly. This isn't that wird, but

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I was installing internet and basic cable to one TV

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in a one bedroom apartment for this young lady, probably

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in her mid twenties. Finished setting up the modem and

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proceeded to the bedroom to set up her basic cable TV.

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I had to move her DVD player momentarily, and there

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was a DVD upside down on that I left on

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top of the DVD player or as I moved it.

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Finished the DV install and went to put her DVD

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player back, this time curious if maybe the DVD is

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a movie I've seen before. Flip it over a note

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The label says your house girls, so I quickly put

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it back where I found it on top of.

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Speaker 2: The DVD player.

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Speaker 1: She comes in a couple minutes later, seize the DVD

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quickly but carefully grabs it, and while keeping it face down,

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moves it to her dresser drawer.

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Speaker 2: She didn't know.

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Speaker 1: I already saw what it was, and I was laughing

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internally as I finished helping her set up her WiFi.

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Thank god, you set up her WiFi so she can

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watch peon line like normal people. I used to work

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pest control. Some dude had a mock camp site in

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his apt bedroom. Fake fire, two person tent, launches, cooler, etc. Etc.

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Et cetera. This happened to day taking items from an

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old man's house for a charity program. We were loading

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stuff from his house into our box truck that he

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didn't want to take with him when he moved. You

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all can take this mattress and box spring, big old

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yellow c M stain on it. Sorry, so we can't

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resell this because it's got to stain. But we can

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take the bed frame and the mattress from the other room.

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Moves mattress, move's box spring, motha load of used tissues

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on the floor behind the back of the bed. I

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was working with a crew that was knocking on doors

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at a seedy apartment complex and evacuating people because of

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rising floodwaters. Knocked on a door and the door opens,

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and the very first thing I noticed was how bad

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it smelled, like straight up boh. Next thing I noticed

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was the guy at the door, who answered was in

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his mid to late forties and overweight, wearing nothing but

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tighty whitties. After looking into the apartment for a second,

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I saw two more gentlemen and their mid to late forties,

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also sitting around wearing nothing but dirty tighty whitties. Now

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I'm thinking to myself, or right, this is super weird.

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And then I happened to notice they had no less

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than one hundred guns just lying around in the open, rifles,

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hand guns, shut guns, a fricking crossbow. So now I'm like,

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all right, this is from the Hills. Have I stuff

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going on? We told them about the evacuation and left.

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I still to this day wonder what the heck they

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were doing. A couple weeks ago, the cable Internet guy

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came out to our place and I asked him the

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same question. Guy's response he once responded to a multimillion

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dollar home in an upper crust neighborhood filled with other mansions.

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This was a gated community within another gated community.

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Speaker 2: Read.

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Speaker 1: Apparently the previous occupants had a secret room that was

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an office with tons of phone lines where they were

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allegedly running some type of big credit card wire fraud operation.

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They'd got inbusted, so the new owners were having him

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undo a lot of what they'd done. Dude said, it

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was like something straight out of a movie paramedic, big butt,

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flesh colored corn cop sticking to a sliding glass door

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leading to a backyard which overlooked the Columbia River. Everyone

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kept glancing at it through the assessment. I'm sure the

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fire departments talked about it. Once we transported and left.

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After the call was over, the conversation between my EMT

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and I went as follows him. You saw that, right, me, dud, Yeah,

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we all did him. It was super jersy, like w TF.

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The house was for an older lady in her seventies

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complaining of abdominal pain. In my early twenties, I was

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a contractor doing carpentry work. I got hooked up with

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a guy who would text me on address in a

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few basic job details. Every morning. I would drive there,

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log my time and materials, and build it out at

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the end of each week and get paid cash. It

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was awesome, always different. The worst one by far was

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two hundred and sixty six Bridge Street, Carlton Place. Trimmed

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it upstairs rental unit. I drive out there, meet with

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the tenant who was just on her way to work,

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but she said her boyfriend was upstairs. I set up

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my work area in the parking lot, head up a

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creaky set of stairs, Open the door, and I'm hit

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with a stench I can only describe as beef, rony,

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hot air, canned meat, and tomato sauce. The boyfriend is

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lying on the couch easily three hundred and fifty pounds

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in a tank top with a blanket covering his bottom half. Thankfully,

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he greets me and I get to work. I like

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to think I'm a professional. I've since worked for some

241
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incredibly wealthy people, successful lawyers, doctors, businessmen, a handful of

242
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pro athletes, and hundreds of reilla good people. I continue

243
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to have good relationships with him because I do good work.

244
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There's no bulls. I keep my head down, deliver and

245
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get paid. And that's exactly what I did in this

246
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gross apartment. I crawled on my hands and knees, making

247
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all the measurements through the kitchen full of dirty dishes

248
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and rotting garbage. Over the dirty underwear in the bedroom.

249
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I suppressed my gag reflex to move aside the krusty

250
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Kleenex and tampon filled garbage can in the bathroom. I

251
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couldn't get outside soon enough to start making my cuts.

252
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When I got back inside to lay out all my baseboard,

253
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the boyfriend was asleep Oprah blasting.

254
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Speaker 2: On the TV.

255
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Speaker 1: I will never forget that it was just me and Oprah.

256
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Surely he'll wake up when I fire up the compressor.

257
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I thought he stayed asleep snoring while I fitted, nailed

258
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and caught the full apartment over the course of about

259
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three hours. I wasn't quiet either. When I was done,

260
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I washed my hands in the kitchen sink, lock the

261
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door behind me, and left. Got a slice of pizza

262
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:05,480
before my drive home from a place called Mister Mozzarella,

263
00:14:05,799 --> 00:14:10,240
mediocre at best. I went into a house to do

264
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some touch ups on some wooden window frames. The owner

265
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had previously told me about a rat problem, that it

266
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was only one rat. She had said it was this

267
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monster rat that would jump feet into the air. To

268
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take down birds. I laughed off, assuming she was exaggerating.

269
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As I'm working on this window frame, I see what

270
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,840
looks like a cat running around outside. Then this sucker

271
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jumps and I see it big butt all.

272
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Speaker 2: It was a rat.

273
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Speaker 1: It didn't manage to get a bird this jump, but

274
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,799
it probably could. I've never seen a rat get so

275
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:43,919
much air. I worked in insurance restoration. One summer. Your

276
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insurance company called us to bid on jobs from water

277
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and fire damage. Got to work on some cool stuff,

278
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:53,840
original panels from Marvel Comics in the sixties, I think

279
00:14:53,879 --> 00:14:58,519
stage costumes from the Temptations. Finding adulttoys was a daily routine.

280
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So was small amounts of drugs. A bottle of oxy

281
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,679
in a golf shoe under the stairs, marijuana in the bedstand.

282
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Usually we throw this stuff away. We were an abasement

283
00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:13,159
in Saint Louis. It was part finished and part infinished.

284
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Someone saw something in the drop's own ceiling, pulled it out,

285
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,159
and I crap you not. It was a gallant sized

286
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,799
zip lock what seemed to be crack. That was the

287
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,639
only time I remember us putting the drugs back where

288
00:15:24,679 --> 00:15:27,960
we found it and pretended that nothing happened. The sheer

289
00:15:28,039 --> 00:15:32,480
quantity scared the crap out of everyone. I work as

290
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:36,399
an electronics technician for Samson. Walked into a customer's house

291
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,679
and the first thing we see is a life sized

292
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,039
replica of Hitler in the middle of his living room,

293
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with Nazi propaganda covering the walls. Needless to say, we

294
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:49,440
didn't stay for very long. I painted apartments in my

295
00:15:49,559 --> 00:15:52,720
teenage years. Went into one guy's apartment and there were

296
00:15:52,759 --> 00:15:55,960
dozens of manisins all over the apartment, all in different

297
00:15:56,080 --> 00:16:01,679
fetish outfits Asla's chaps, leopard print, no outfits, you name it.

298
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,200
We had to move them around to paint, and when

299
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,879
the tenant got home, he complained to management that we

300
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,440
moved his doors. Guy was really nice, though, but so

301
00:16:10,639 --> 00:16:15,320
was Bundy, according to his neighbors. I worked HVAC for

302
00:16:15,399 --> 00:16:17,639
a while. A few years back. I was doing a

303
00:16:17,679 --> 00:16:20,240
maintenance at this house in their furnace at service. The

304
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,879
master bedroom needed a part that I didn't stock on

305
00:16:22,919 --> 00:16:25,399
the truck. I had to run to a supply house

306
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,480
to get it, and the guy tells me, no problem,

307
00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:29,840
just let yourself back in when you get back. So

308
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:31,960
I did, and I head to the master bedroom to

309
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,000
repair the furnace. The dude was plowing his wife when

310
00:16:35,039 --> 00:16:37,399
I walked in. He looks at me while he's going

311
00:16:37,399 --> 00:16:40,559
to poundtown and says, hey. I kept walking and went

312
00:16:40,639 --> 00:16:44,679
about my business. I'm finished repairing the furnace in twenty minutes.

313
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:45,799
Speaker 2: But he wasn't.

314
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,320
Speaker 1: Not really exciting, but I sold Kirby Vacuums. In the

315
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,759
mid nineties went on a cold call carpet clean demo.

316
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,480
The couple that earned the house had three in shag

317
00:16:56,519 --> 00:16:59,240
carpet looked like it was from the early sixties that

318
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,320
had never been cleaned. There was also a strange smell

319
00:17:02,399 --> 00:17:06,680
due to them having reptiles. Anyway, started vacuuming and began

320
00:17:06,799 --> 00:17:10,279
ripping and sucking up large chunks of carpet. This place

321
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,000
was filthy. Neat and organized, but filthy. As I get

322
00:17:14,039 --> 00:17:16,119
to the lover seat, we pick it up to vacuum.

323
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:19,880
I discover a large petrified iguana. While the couple freak

324
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,799
out about their long lost iguana. The vacuum takes out

325
00:17:22,839 --> 00:17:25,319
another hunk of carpet and catches the cord for the

326
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:28,119
many blind in. The vacuum climbs the wall before ripping

327
00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:30,359
it off the wall. That was the end of that

328
00:17:30,559 --> 00:17:34,559
sales pitch and my short, miserable career selling vacuums.

329
00:17:35,559 --> 00:17:36,200
Speaker 2: Cable tech.

330
00:17:36,559 --> 00:17:38,480
Speaker 1: Was in an older lady's house and had to keep

331
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,599
moving little kid's toys out of the way rocking horses,

332
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:46,359
little push cars, small doors, et cetera to get back

333
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,519
to the wall plates and checks and connections. This was

334
00:17:49,559 --> 00:17:51,920
in like three or four different rooms in the house.

335
00:17:52,319 --> 00:17:55,000
Didn't think anything of it. I see plenty of kids

336
00:17:55,079 --> 00:17:58,319
toys every day. I just assumed this elder lady has

337
00:17:58,359 --> 00:17:59,279
some grand kids.

338
00:17:59,519 --> 00:17:59,920
Speaker 2: Whatever.

339
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,599
Speaker 1: She keeps asking me to please be careful when moving stuff,

340
00:18:03,839 --> 00:18:06,160
which I am doing, of course, because I'm not here

341
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,200
to mess everything up. She is like visibly upset that

342
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,440
I am moving these toys, though, and is hovering and

343
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,519
watching nervously. So now I am a little more aware,

344
00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:17,240
in not quite turning my back to her all the way. Hand,

345
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,799
I notice there are no pictures of her or her

346
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:24,440
husband anywhere now, no pictures of kids or grandkids, no pets.

347
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,839
Everything is immaculately cleaned and spotless, and there's no sign

348
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,720
of any kids ever having been there. This strikes me

349
00:18:30,759 --> 00:18:33,039
as odd because of all the kids toys with baby

350
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,680
dolls on them, I move the push carped back to

351
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,519
its original location, and she once again asks me to

352
00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:41,000
be extra careful as these are her babies.

353
00:18:41,319 --> 00:18:41,720
Speaker 2: Set.

354
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Speaker 1: That's when I notice all the rocking chairs, push carts,

355
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:49,440
baby cribs, toy chests all have an actual baby doll

356
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:52,319
sitting on top of them or laying inside them. There

357
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,960
are fake bottles, the kind with the fake milk in

358
00:18:55,039 --> 00:18:59,480
them that moves everywhere, random pacifiers, a stack of those

359
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,680
little fake baby changing diapers that kids used to change

360
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,720
the diapers of their baby dolls. Just all kinds of

361
00:19:05,759 --> 00:19:08,839
weird crab him talking like six or so little baby

362
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,880
dolls in all the rooms I have been in so

363
00:19:11,039 --> 00:19:14,359
far except the living room, just a little creepy. I

364
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,960
hate dolls and kids stuff from all the horror movies

365
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,319
I've seen, so this whilstn't ideal. Had to go outside

366
00:19:20,319 --> 00:19:23,200
and change the connectors and grooon block in the house box,

367
00:19:23,519 --> 00:19:26,119
do a little outside work. Come back in and she's

368
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,799
walking around burping one of.

369
00:19:27,759 --> 00:19:29,839
Speaker 2: The baby doors. Fou who up?

370
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:33,680
Speaker 1: That? Told her I was finished because I was got

371
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,200
a quick signature and just note the heck out of there.

372
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,519
I realized that she's probably just some old, lonely lady

373
00:19:39,799 --> 00:19:42,680
maybe she couldn't have kids of her own. I don't

374
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,519
know her story. I'm sure she has a story. I

375
00:19:45,599 --> 00:19:48,599
DC though I was creeped out and didn't look back.

376
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,519
Guess it's mild compared to some other crap on here,

377
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,720
But that was creepy as heck to me. Been doing

378
00:19:55,799 --> 00:19:59,279
service and installation work for about ten years now, been

379
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,680
through lots of houses that I have to step out

380
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,400
to get fresh air before I vomit because of various

381
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:08,519
potent orders, biologic or otherwise. I have two places that

382
00:20:08,599 --> 00:20:09,240
stick out.

383
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:09,799
Speaker 2: In my mind.

384
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:14,519
Speaker 1: Both while I worked for alarm companies part dispensaries in California.

385
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,920
Those were always fun. The other was at an electrical

386
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:22,359
company's office. The boss lived upstairs, had a full BDSM

387
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,839
photo shoot studio in his little apartment. He asked if

388
00:20:25,839 --> 00:20:28,160
I wanted to know more about it, to which I

389
00:20:28,279 --> 00:20:33,119
politely declined his offer. HVAC help her for a few

390
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,920
summers when I was younger. You would not believe how

391
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,599
many people let their dogs and cats defecate in the

392
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,880
basements to avoid having to take them outside, and not

393
00:20:42,039 --> 00:20:45,920
just in run down houses, either expensive McMansions and such.

394
00:20:47,519 --> 00:20:50,279
I worked for an electrician a few years back, we

395
00:20:50,279 --> 00:20:52,880
were on our way to a house for some electric work.

396
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,519
As we drove by this government building, people were outside

397
00:20:56,559 --> 00:21:00,839
picketing and protesting a government employee for possessing child pornography.

398
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,440
I guess he was well known in the town. When

399
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,480
we arrived to this house, there were boxes everywhere because

400
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,039
the owner was moving. The woman who lived there let

401
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,559
us inside and told us what work needed to be done.

402
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,359
She looked like she hadn't slept in a week. When

403
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:16,960
she finished telling us what to do, she had apologized

404
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,440
for her emotional state and had explained to us that

405
00:21:19,519 --> 00:21:22,519
her husband of twenty plus years was recently arrested for

406
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:26,559
child pornography. Turns out it was the same government employee.

407
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,440
My heart really went out for this woman. The betrayal

408
00:21:29,599 --> 00:21:32,839
she must have felt knowing her husband did this is unimaginable.

409
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,680
Of course, my coworker sent me to the basement of

410
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,759
this house to remove all the ceiling light fixtures. I

411
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:42,000
never came across anything while down there. It was completely

412
00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:45,039
empty and cold, with barren walls and a concrete floor.

413
00:21:45,319 --> 00:21:47,640
But needless to say, the thought of it all made

414
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,960
me sick to my stomach. The entire house just had

415
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:54,240
this serie vibe that I couldn't shake. We immediately left

416
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:58,839
the minute the work was finished. Serious people that do autopsies,

417
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,599
what's the weirdest thing that you have found that didn't

418
00:22:01,599 --> 00:22:04,559
have anything to do with the person's death. I used

419
00:22:04,559 --> 00:22:08,000
to take X rays in the morgue for suspicious deaths, murders,

420
00:22:08,039 --> 00:22:10,799
et cetera. One time we were doing an abdomen X

421
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,480
rayon a guy that was found in a golf course pond.

422
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,200
After rolling him on his side to gather the plate,

423
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:19,160
a live frog wriggled out of his butt. The morgue

424
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,519
tech caught him and put him into a specimen jar.

425
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,039
He took some debris from the bag and put it

426
00:22:24,079 --> 00:22:26,519
in the jar and pope holes in the lid. One

427
00:22:26,559 --> 00:22:29,480
of my coworkers googled the type of frog and confirmed

428
00:22:29,519 --> 00:22:32,039
that he was native to the area. He then biked

429
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,160
him back and released him into his pond at the

430
00:22:34,279 --> 00:22:36,720
end of the day. I doubt any of his frog

431
00:22:36,799 --> 00:22:40,440
friends believed his story. That last sentence made me laugh

432
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,559
harder than the rest of the story due to the

433
00:22:42,599 --> 00:22:47,680
extreme level of weirdness. I worked as a pathology assistant.

434
00:22:48,079 --> 00:22:50,640
My boss once found a six inch builder's nail in

435
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,720
a chap's thigh. He died on sight after an accident,

436
00:22:53,759 --> 00:22:56,240
but the nail was all healed over even where it

437
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:58,440
had nicked the bone, so it must have been there

438
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,960
a few years Paramedic Buddy showed me pictures of an

439
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,480
accident where the guy was carrying a nail gun up

440
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,880
a ladder to her roof and accidentally drove a nail

441
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,480
through his pocket, the iPhone in the pocket and into

442
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:12,759
his fema. The hospital did imaging to ensure it wasn't

443
00:23:12,799 --> 00:23:15,279
going to blow an artery, and then just yanked it out.

444
00:23:16,799 --> 00:23:19,599
I worked in a cadava lab. People would donate their

445
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,839
bodies to science. We would essentially cust them up into

446
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:27,279
different cuts depending on what hospitals, med schools, or researchers wanted.

447
00:23:27,559 --> 00:23:30,799
Most of the tissue went for surgical practice. I yet

448
00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:34,200
torso would be sent out for spinal surgery practice, a

449
00:23:34,279 --> 00:23:37,519
leg from the replacement practice. Once we had a donor

450
00:23:37,519 --> 00:23:40,680
who died during surgery, we found a very large pair

451
00:23:40,759 --> 00:23:43,559
of scissors inside of him. We also had lots of

452
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,920
donors with evidence of cancer like tumors all over their

453
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,440
lungs with no medical history of cancer. We found a

454
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,799
lot of abnormal or enlarged organs. We once removed a

455
00:23:53,839 --> 00:23:56,160
fifty pound liver from a guy, and also we found

456
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:59,960
horse show kidneys two kidneys fused together in a person.

457
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,920
Reading this only reinforces the idea that getting full body

458
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:08,319
scans of some type should be an annual requirement. UK

459
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,920
gang member's mother died of a heart attack during a

460
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:15,640
home invasion aggregated burglary eighty seven years old. Gang had

461
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,039
burst in looking for drugs and money. No signs of assault,

462
00:24:19,079 --> 00:24:22,319
but the circumstances required a full examination to be sure

463
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:26,319
nothing suspicious had occurred. During the post mortem, two arnces

464
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:30,480
of smack found in her anus. Back in the nineties,

465
00:24:30,839 --> 00:24:33,480
I worked for the company that was contracted to move

466
00:24:33,559 --> 00:24:36,119
bodies for the coroner. We picked up the body of

467
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,480
a lady who had worked as a tailor in her youth.

468
00:24:38,799 --> 00:24:42,000
When they did the post mortem, there were several dressmaking

469
00:24:42,079 --> 00:24:45,200
pins and needles under her skin, mainly in her legs.

470
00:24:45,559 --> 00:24:48,319
There was also a pin lodged in her lung. Coroner

471
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,559
thought she must have inhaled it. She suffered a pulmonary

472
00:24:51,559 --> 00:24:54,599
embolism back in the sixties which had forced her to retire.

473
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,200
Maybe the pin was the cause of it, how she

474
00:24:57,279 --> 00:24:59,319
hadn't felt the pins, or that none of them had

475
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:01,720
been picked up on X rays or scan she'd had

476
00:25:01,759 --> 00:25:02,759
in later life.

477
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:03,559
Speaker 2: I don't know.

478
00:25:04,079 --> 00:25:08,079
Speaker 1: Cause of death was a stroke. I was once in

479
00:25:08,079 --> 00:25:11,279
a mental health facility for only a short amount of time,

480
00:25:11,599 --> 00:25:14,000
and I met to women whose daughter passed away from

481
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,200
a drug over dense and had been upset at her

482
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:19,640
for selling her grandmother's necklace for what she thought was drugs.

483
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,279
But when the autopsy came back, it was found in

484
00:25:22,319 --> 00:25:26,000
her stomach. Apparently she was swallowing the same necklace for years,

485
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,920
and I can imagine why someone would do that. When

486
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,880
I was a student, I saw an autopsy of a

487
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,680
man who had hanged himself. When we checked the main

488
00:25:34,799 --> 00:25:37,440
arteries in the heart, he had a huge blockage. He

489
00:25:37,519 --> 00:25:40,119
was basically just about to have a huge heart attack,

490
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:44,119
so probably would have died anyway. Sorry, pretty grim. One

491
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,559
of the major symptoms of a heart attack is sense

492
00:25:46,599 --> 00:25:49,680
of impending doom. Kinda makes me wonder if that was

493
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,240
his final straw and he Welder died later the same

494
00:25:52,319 --> 00:25:56,799
day of the heart attack. Rolls of dollar bills inside

495
00:25:56,799 --> 00:25:59,759
the glory whole cavity removed it and let her property

496
00:25:59,799 --> 00:26:02,319
draw and then returned to the family with the rest

497
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:06,039
of her belongings. So wash your hands after handling money.

498
00:26:06,319 --> 00:26:09,680
Maybe fifty bills, but can't remember if there were singles

499
00:26:09,759 --> 00:26:13,319
or large bills. Cause of death was an overdose. I

500
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:17,720
think that not sure. I was volunteering at the coroner's

501
00:26:17,759 --> 00:26:20,480
office and the dot pulled a very large intact of

502
00:26:20,559 --> 00:26:23,599
ocado pit out of a mann's stomach. We all kind

503
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,200
of looked at it and went her cause of death

504
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:30,480
was a heart attack. There are the normal, abnormal things

505
00:26:30,599 --> 00:26:36,160
like extra spleens, extra urretas, surprised tumors, and swallowed foreign bodies.

506
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,119
The record holder was six dollars and twenty five cents

507
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,119
in assorted change. The one that wins is the sharpie

508
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:43,759
in the bladder with a cap on.

509
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:45,039
Speaker 2: I was the one that.

510
00:26:45,079 --> 00:26:47,680
Speaker 1: Got to explain what sounding was to the resident and

511
00:26:47,759 --> 00:26:51,599
lab assistant sounding with the sharpie, yikes, that might be

512
00:26:51,759 --> 00:26:55,319
enough for this thread for me. We once had a

513
00:26:55,319 --> 00:26:58,720
homeless dude to odeed on opiates. This comes in a lot.

514
00:26:59,079 --> 00:27:02,319
During the external exam. We removed his pants and they

515
00:27:02,319 --> 00:27:05,839
were just full of bacon, like at least forty packs

516
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,599
of bacon turns out he had sharp lifted a ton

517
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,599
of it, then shot up in some run down house

518
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,200
and died with it all in his pants. It was

519
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,759
pretty shocking. We also had a guy who took a

520
00:27:15,799 --> 00:27:18,680
bullet to the back of his head execution style, and

521
00:27:18,759 --> 00:27:21,279
after the x rays determined the bullet was not in

522
00:27:21,319 --> 00:27:24,839
his head anymore, we couldn't find the exit wound anywhere.

523
00:27:25,039 --> 00:27:28,000
Once we took out the brain, we discovered it exited

524
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,839
perfectly out of one of his nostrils, leaving no trace

525
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:35,799
of an external exit wound. While completing the post autopsy

526
00:27:35,839 --> 00:27:39,359
repair for a gentleman, I found a plastic ladle tucked

527
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,119
under the ribs. It was probably left by some poor

528
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,240
autopsy technician who got yelled for losing the good legol.

529
00:27:45,599 --> 00:27:48,000
I offered to send it back to the coroner, but

530
00:27:48,079 --> 00:27:52,799
they never returned my calls. I wouldn't necessarily say this

531
00:27:52,839 --> 00:27:55,799
is a weird thing, but once during an autopsy I

532
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,119
had just put the body onto the table on their

533
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,759
stomach and the person had explosive poop. Luckily, the doc

534
00:28:01,799 --> 00:28:04,359
who was standing right beside them moved in time, or

535
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,920
else they would have been shot with poop. We didn't

536
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:11,000
think it was ever going to stop. Five years ago,

537
00:28:11,039 --> 00:28:13,559
an autopsy I viewed the patient was put down to

538
00:28:13,599 --> 00:28:17,759
have died from post surgical complications from a colostomy infection

539
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,839
led to sepsis and ended with math. When they began

540
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:24,440
the examination and look, they found some surgical tweezers left behind,

541
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,319
which was attributed to being cause of the infection because

542
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:29,759
of how tucked away they were. I am unaware of

543
00:28:29,839 --> 00:28:33,359
what happened afterwards, but it was definitely referred higher as

544
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,559
if I wasn't already afraid of surgery. This makes it

545
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:40,680
so much worse. One of the cadavers we learned from

546
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,680
in med school had his sciatic nerves somehow passing through

547
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:46,799
the middle of his periformous muscle. It wasn't fuse to

548
00:28:46,839 --> 00:28:49,839
the side of the muscle via scarring, it ran right

549
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:53,279
through the middle of the muscle. His medical history was unknown,

550
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,720
but we expected that sciatic nerve pain was probably on

551
00:28:56,759 --> 00:28:59,440
the list. I think of him when a patient doesn't

552
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:03,640
respond to typical treatments for things. Sometimes people are built

553
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,319
differently than everyone else, and you have to think outside

554
00:29:06,319 --> 00:29:09,440
the box to figure out what's going on. Apparently this

555
00:29:09,559 --> 00:29:12,400
isn't all that uncommon, a phenomenon which we might have

556
00:29:12,559 --> 00:29:15,680
learned at the time, but I definitely do remember looking

557
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,680
down at the nerve passing through the middle of the

558
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:20,720
muscle and thinking, what the frick. That was not something

559
00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:24,359
I thought was possible before seeing it for myself. Shout

560
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:27,079
out to everyone who has gifted their bodies to science.

561
00:29:27,799 --> 00:29:30,440
Sometimes your wish you could peek inside someone and not

562
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:35,240
just have to treat from the outside. Okay, this isn't

563
00:29:35,279 --> 00:29:38,119
an autopsy, but I work in a pathology lab and

564
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,240
we get all the parts that are removed from a

565
00:29:40,319 --> 00:29:48,160
human during surgery, tumors, mules, appendages, stones, kidney, bladder, gall bladder, etc.

566
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,359
One day, a large, long, cylindrical stone was removed from

567
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,000
a man's dong. We have to break the stone down

568
00:29:55,039 --> 00:29:57,759
to its chemical components so we can tell what it's

569
00:29:57,799 --> 00:30:02,519
predominantly made from. So we put the stone in solution,

570
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,720
and as it dissolved, we realized something was in the center.

571
00:30:06,119 --> 00:30:08,519
It was a big pen cap. There's no way it

572
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,759
came from above. As someone with occasional small kidney stones

573
00:30:13,119 --> 00:30:18,160
freaking around. An eighty eight year old grandma died of

574
00:30:18,279 --> 00:30:22,319
carbon monoxide poisoning. During the autopsy, we couldn't open the.

575
00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 2: Back of the cranium.

576
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 1: After much drilling, we realized that her cranium was around

577
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:30,039
three four centimeters thick all the way around, leaving her

578
00:30:30,079 --> 00:30:32,799
with the smallest brain on a grown woman I've ever seen.

579
00:30:33,279 --> 00:30:36,079
She was fully functioning and never seemed affected by it

580
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:38,880
in the slightest I've never seen anything like it.

581
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:39,279
Speaker 2: Since.

582
00:30:39,799 --> 00:30:43,039
Speaker 1: Sorry, I haven't managed to reply to all questions. I

583
00:30:43,119 --> 00:30:47,000
never expected anyone to find my autopsy stories interesting. I

584
00:30:47,079 --> 00:30:49,799
knew she functioned well until her death because she ran

585
00:30:49,839 --> 00:30:53,160
the soft cheese making business with her daughters. She died

586
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,519
when the gas tank used to heat the milk leaked

587
00:30:55,519 --> 00:30:58,559
carbon monoxide into the room and she passed out and died.

588
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,960
One of her daughters also so passed out, but her

589
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,079
face was close to the space under the door and

590
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,960
fresh air came in enough to prevent her from dying.

591
00:31:06,319 --> 00:31:08,480
I asked the family if she or they had known

592
00:31:08,519 --> 00:31:11,680
of her condition, and no one had any idea. Physically,

593
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,720
there was nothing remarkable, no deformities at all visible externally,

594
00:31:16,079 --> 00:31:19,359
neither in body nor face. We included the information in

595
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,200
the autopsy report, but since it wasn't related to the

596
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:26,319
cause of death, it wasn't investigated further. Just for clarification.

597
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:30,640
I'm female with a background in forensics and profiling. Hope

598
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:35,720
this helps. Spoke with a pathologist at a conference during

599
00:31:35,799 --> 00:31:38,920
her training at the Medical Examiner's office. They were doing

600
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,480
an autopsy on a body that was found by a river.

601
00:31:41,839 --> 00:31:44,680
They did a seaty and something looked funny about his gut.

602
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,880
When they opened him up, his stomach moved. It was

603
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,920
a snake that had burrowed inside his body. It struck

604
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,359
and bit one of the text before they realized what

605
00:31:53,559 --> 00:31:58,079
was going on. My forensic medicine lectures took place in

606
00:31:58,119 --> 00:32:01,759
the department's Museum of Oddities. There are plenty of interesting

607
00:32:01,799 --> 00:32:06,200
items on display, but one particularly strange display caught my eye.

608
00:32:06,359 --> 00:32:09,240
It was an unlabeled cardboard box with twenty ish thin

609
00:32:09,319 --> 00:32:13,880
metal bars ten centimeters around four inches long. One of

610
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:17,160
the pathologists explained that the random pieces of metal were

611
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,440
actually spoon handles, which were found in a young woman's stomach.

612
00:32:20,839 --> 00:32:23,440
The remaining portion of the spoons was melted away by

613
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:26,799
stomach acid. The woman was a patient in a psychiatric

614
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,519
hospital in the fifty s sixties and evidently had a

615
00:32:29,599 --> 00:32:33,319
tendency to swallow spoons, but her unusual doubt had nothing

616
00:32:33,359 --> 00:32:36,519
to do with her cause of death, can't exactly remember

617
00:32:36,559 --> 00:32:39,440
what it was. On a more humorous note, the museum

618
00:32:39,519 --> 00:32:43,319
also features a variety of strange tattoos. My favorite was

619
00:32:43,319 --> 00:32:47,279
a tattoo on the left appathiova soldier which read nerferdemon

620
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:51,079
that is ladies only. I actually know a guy who

621
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,119
has a tattoo on his upper arm of her heart

622
00:32:53,119 --> 00:32:56,960
with the words yes, I want SX ladies only please,

623
00:32:58,559 --> 00:33:01,079
I'm a nurse and don't partake in autopsies could help

624
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,559
get the body ready for one. And we had a

625
00:33:03,599 --> 00:33:06,359
patient body who had a body bag tag tattooed around

626
00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:09,200
his big toe, had it done about ten years prior.

627
00:33:09,599 --> 00:33:11,799
The tattoo had the pet named of and date of

628
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,279
death with a blank line, and the family had filled

629
00:33:14,279 --> 00:33:16,720
in the tattoo with the points date of death and time.

630
00:33:17,319 --> 00:33:20,240
Reminds me of seeing place pads here tats on people

631
00:33:20,359 --> 00:33:22,799
chests or do not remove tattooed on the good leg

632
00:33:22,839 --> 00:33:27,440
before the surgery to amputate the other leg. Other causes

633
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:34,319
of death impending ones, malignancyes that weren't diagnosed, appatitis, ocut bleeding, etc.

634
00:33:35,039 --> 00:33:38,400
Once found full blown metastatic stomach cancer in a college

635
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:41,200
kid that died in a bar fight that escalated. It

636
00:33:41,319 --> 00:33:44,720
was pretty remarkable. This happened to both my grandpa and

637
00:33:44,799 --> 00:33:47,960
my great aunt. My grandpa had an aneurysm on his

638
00:33:48,039 --> 00:33:50,920
juggular that could have burst at any moment. My great

639
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,599
aunt had cancer that they only found on the autopsy.

640
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:59,880
Pneumonia took them both first pennies hundreds of pennies nearly

641
00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:02,799
six dollars worth inside the skin, all over the arms

642
00:34:02,839 --> 00:34:06,880
and legs. Deceased was a hermit, lived alone, ordered out

643
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,920
for every meal. Apparently he'd been surgically implanting pennies in

644
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,519
his skin for years. No fricking clue why this has

645
00:34:14,559 --> 00:34:17,079
haunted me the most out of all the posts so far.

646
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,880
Brain aneurysm in a late twenties girl hadd to two

647
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:25,000
directly above her pubic region that said stay off the grass,

648
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,719
only to two on her body. Also had a full

649
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:32,159
blown trichobazor. Same patient, we save it. No history of

650
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:36,039
mental health issues or seeking treatment for any mental health disorders,

651
00:34:36,519 --> 00:34:39,760
just enjoyed eating her own hair. Running into the occasional

652
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:44,199
don pump implant was also a fun one. A professor

653
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:47,199
was explaining to us the brain's ability to compensate and

654
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,800
said there was a case I believe the person had

655
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:53,280
died of old age of someone missing an entire hemisphere

656
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,119
of the brain. In its place was one big tumor.

657
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,760
There were no signs of symptoms of this throughout the

658
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:03,199
patient's lifetime. My brother in law was in his early

659
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,840
sixties and passed away from a heart attack. During his autopsy,

660
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,480
it was noted he only had one kidney. He never

661
00:35:09,519 --> 00:35:11,920
had a kidney removed, and the only surgery he ever

662
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:15,000
had was to have his appendix removed, and the mortician

663
00:35:15,119 --> 00:35:17,519
said that it was in fact removed and not just.

664
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 2: To birth defect.

665
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:22,159
Speaker 1: The appendix surgery happened when he was very young. My

666
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,239
mother in law had some health issues and during examination

667
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:28,039
they found she had only one kidney. We were told

668
00:35:28,079 --> 00:35:31,079
that it happened sometimes and would not affect her lifespan.

669
00:35:31,559 --> 00:35:35,880
She passed away at eighty four from kidney failure. One

670
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,239
my friend does it autipseas and he said that he

671
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:41,119
found twenty four screws in the large intestine of a

672
00:35:41,199 --> 00:35:44,360
seventy five year old woman. The weirdest party is she

673
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:47,440
died off a heart attack while in the shower. There

674
00:35:47,519 --> 00:35:50,559
was no possible explanation other than she was suffering from

675
00:35:50,599 --> 00:35:54,719
piker Benoi bulls in the rectum of a male who

676
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:58,079
died off huffing duster. Female with a tattoo that covered

677
00:35:58,119 --> 00:36:02,199
her back that said Frickieu O King Fricks. Elderly female

678
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:05,760
with five very old tampon in her gloryhole canal, big

679
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:10,760
burly leather clad bikers with delicate lacey panties. Elderly male

680
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,559
with a Prince Albert piercing. We had to remove all

681
00:36:13,639 --> 00:36:17,920
jewelry and that was awkward. Accessory spleens were super common.

682
00:36:18,199 --> 00:36:21,800
Bit one laily had fourteen of them, but no actual spleen,

683
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:27,039
just fourteen little blueberry sized accessory spleens. Horse show kidney

684
00:36:27,079 --> 00:36:30,280
is always a cool find. Human anatomy has it within

685
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:33,679
normal limits range. Built within that range, there are some

686
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:38,320
weird things. Hot surprise Empaima was gagworthy. I no longer

687
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:39,239
work this job.

688
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:40,079
Speaker 2: I miss it.

689
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,519
Speaker 1: You guys have made the last few hours at my

690
00:36:42,639 --> 00:36:45,440
current job more fun. I hope at least one of

691
00:36:45,519 --> 00:36:49,840
you has an accessory spleen. I was an assistant back

692
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:51,599
in the day, and once a man who died in

693
00:36:51,679 --> 00:36:54,039
drive by was brought in. When examined, we found that

694
00:36:54,159 --> 00:36:57,239
he had coke in his ass. Just realized you were

695
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:02,440
not referring to the drink nice. I used to do necruptcies,

696
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:05,519
which is an autopsy on an animal. Weirdest thing was

697
00:37:05,559 --> 00:37:08,440
when I had probably done fifteen necrupsies at that point

698
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:11,000
on the same kind of rodent, and one day I

699
00:37:11,079 --> 00:37:13,880
open one up and its intestines are just bulging full

700
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:17,440
of something. Just imagine that you're used to seeing essentially

701
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,280
the same thing every time, and now instead of thin

702
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,559
little intestines, you've got these balin like overful ones just

703
00:37:23,639 --> 00:37:26,639
taking up the whole body cavity. My partner and I

704
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,360
freaked out and just put the whole intestinal tract in

705
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:32,239
a specimen jarf for the lab to check out. Turned

706
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,920
out to be a massive tapeworm that was actually fairly

707
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,639
common for that critter. We had just never run into

708
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:40,760
one in our sampled before. Not as crazy as a

709
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:42,920
lot of the story is here, but when you open

710
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:47,440
a body, any kind of surprise really throws you. Did

711
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,639
pathology at hospital in college and one person had green

712
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:54,480
organs that smelled like grape Jolly ranger, no joke. Apparently

713
00:37:54,519 --> 00:37:57,599
it's caused by a not so uncommon bacteria that only

714
00:37:57,639 --> 00:38:02,679
does that. Finally, a new Jolly run Uncher story. Don't

715
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:06,079
perform autopsis, but bye clerk for a public Defender's office

716
00:38:06,159 --> 00:38:09,039
my senior year of college and was tasked with organizing

717
00:38:09,079 --> 00:38:12,719
the discovery of a murder case, including the autopsy photos.

718
00:38:13,119 --> 00:38:15,559
Guy was tortured and then killed with a pickax to

719
00:38:15,599 --> 00:38:18,000
the head on the side of a road. The next day,

720
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,119
they stood at a tone from a hardware store and

721
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,880
drenched the body, which doesn't work as well as the

722
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:26,599
movies do. However, it does a phenomenal job at melting

723
00:38:26,639 --> 00:38:31,199
internal organs, particularly a brain whose skull has several puncture wounds.

724
00:38:31,559 --> 00:38:33,800
The brain soup is why you don't sneak a lunch

725
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:38,159
while organizing discovery in a homicide case. Brain soup sounds

726
00:38:38,199 --> 00:38:44,159
extremely disgusting opposite of your question, but I believe still relevant.

727
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:48,679
I was dissecting a body mail fifties for anatomy classen

728
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,039
found that his heart was a mirror reflection of what

729
00:38:51,199 --> 00:38:53,719
it should be. The arteries and veins were in the

730
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,679
wrong order on the heart. During his life, he probably

731
00:38:56,679 --> 00:38:59,800
never knew about his extremely rare and strange heart, though

732
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:02,320
it most likely was the root cause of his death.

733
00:39:02,639 --> 00:39:04,719
He did not have an autopsy, so they would not

734
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:06,840
have figured it out then, and I do not believe

735
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:10,199
anyone was informed after the dissection, since those who donate

736
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:15,440
their bodies remain anonymous. Guy called his ex wife, told

737
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,239
her he was ending it all. Had a gun drove

738
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,840
out to the middle of nowhere, hand died of a

739
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:25,360
heart attack. We couldn't believe it either. Task failed successfully,

740
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,199
but he told me he found a pair of denshers

741
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,360
in someone's thigh. Didn't say a word to anyone about

742
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:36,199
it for a couple years either. During one of my

743
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:39,119
anatomy labs, we were did a thoracic dissection on an

744
00:39:39,159 --> 00:39:43,199
elderly gentleman. The skin showed moderate yet long heeled scarring

745
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:46,519
that when drawn back, revealed small slivers of copper. The

746
00:39:46,559 --> 00:39:50,280
cadovers are only identified by a serial no, but judging

747
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:53,159
by his tats, he was a military man, so presumably

748
00:39:53,199 --> 00:39:59,079
old war wounds. Not necessarily weird but interesting. Nonetheless, I'm

749
00:39:59,119 --> 00:40:02,440
not an emmy, but growing up my best friend's dad

750
00:40:02,519 --> 00:40:06,440
was the county Coronermy an old shutton died from natural causes,

751
00:40:06,679 --> 00:40:09,559
and his body was found a few weeks after he passed.

752
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:12,920
During the autopsy, the coroner found what appeared to be

753
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:16,679
thin copper wire running the length of the decidon's arms, legs,

754
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:20,079
and torso. It was embedded under the skin, with a

755
00:40:20,119 --> 00:40:22,920
single point or outlet emerging at the base of the neck.

756
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,760
The man had no family, so no one had a

757
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:29,679
clue how the wires got there or why. Helped with

758
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:33,119
autopsies at our local coroner's office during medical school. In

759
00:40:33,159 --> 00:40:36,880
addition to codover dissection in anatomy lab, a few interesting

760
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:41,159
fine situations. Prosthetic testicle in a young man in his twenties.

761
00:40:41,519 --> 00:40:45,519
Pathologist hadn't seen one before. It was about the consistency

762
00:40:45,559 --> 00:40:49,159
of a softer bouncy ball. The oblong no idea where

763
00:40:49,159 --> 00:40:52,400
the original went. Saw photos of a young guy who

764
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,639
had died at home and his pet fox, then ate

765
00:40:54,679 --> 00:40:57,559
part of his face, observed a dig for a body

766
00:40:57,639 --> 00:41:00,480
found buried, and then helped piece the skull pieces together

767
00:41:00,559 --> 00:41:03,519
back at the lab. Bullet holes in the skull. I

768
00:41:03,559 --> 00:41:05,719
guess that was the cause of death, but still an

769
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:08,880
exciting discovery. The most of the dead show up clothes.

770
00:41:09,199 --> 00:41:11,239
The clothes are damp and cool from being in the

771
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:14,800
body bag and refrigerator, and sometimes really tough to remove.

772
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:17,320
Had a young man who had died in a job

773
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,800
site accident and struggled to remove his work boats, damp,

774
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:24,880
thick greens, etc. Anyhow, he had an mplus M's wrapper

775
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,920
in his pocket really made the whole situation real. To

776
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,239
realize he was just a normal guy snacking on candy

777
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:35,840
and doing his job when his life abruptly ended. As

778
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:39,400
first graders in biomedical sciences, we were witnessing an autopsy

779
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,280
to see the location of organs. We weren't told what

780
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:45,760
the subject died off, but the professor was slightly unamused

781
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,639
to find out only after the person was opened up

782
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,239
that they had a very weird bypass that short cut

783
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,400
about three organs and the digestive system. The goal of

784
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:59,320
our class was slightly ruined, but fascinating. First year of university,

785
00:41:59,639 --> 00:42:03,559
not first grade of whatever school type with minor students.

786
00:42:04,639 --> 00:42:07,519
Oh man, Okay. One time we had an autopsy on

787
00:42:07,559 --> 00:42:10,280
a guy who had died abroad whilst on holiday. He'd

788
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:13,079
already had an autopsy in his country of death. He

789
00:42:13,199 --> 00:42:16,119
needed another autopsy in his home country before his death

790
00:42:16,159 --> 00:42:19,280
could be registered, so that was our job. He had

791
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:23,000
been embombed and repatriated to thus. Obviously, by the time

792
00:42:23,039 --> 00:42:26,320
we received his body, his brain had already been removed

793
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:29,920
and dissected and the skull suit had closed. My colleague

794
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:33,119
reopened the skull as we weren't sure of autopsy procedures

795
00:42:33,159 --> 00:42:36,280
in the country of death. The skull cavity was stuffed

796
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:39,960
with underpants. The weirdest bit, which I should have mentioned

797
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,760
in my original post, was that the body arrived with

798
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,440
a bad god the guy's belongings, including his own underpants.

799
00:42:48,079 --> 00:42:48,400
Speaker 2: Hello.

800
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 1: Once I was doing an autopsy on a woman who

801
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:53,519
had been dead for some time and was rotten. I

802
00:42:53,639 --> 00:42:55,920
live in Spain and hear the summer heat rots a

803
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,960
person in a few days. Well, the woman had her

804
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:02,519
whole neck with bands and cotton dressings. It turns out

805
00:43:02,559 --> 00:43:05,400
that her daughter, who lived with her, when seeing that

806
00:43:05,559 --> 00:43:08,000
worms came out of her neck, decided to heal her

807
00:43:08,039 --> 00:43:12,239
wound with alcohol, cotton and bandages. The doctor discovered her

808
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:14,840
body because the daughter called him because her mother had

809
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,440
not eaten for two days. I would have liked to

810
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:21,960
see the doctor's face. I had to observe autipsies as

811
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,719
a medical student. There was one man who died from

812
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,880
a drug overdose, I believe, but came in with a

813
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,599
dong ring on. I guess he at least died while

814
00:43:29,679 --> 00:43:35,039
enjoying himself. Elderly pensioner died alone in his home, not

815
00:43:35,119 --> 00:43:39,679
suspicious at all. Small mobile phone flip phone found in

816
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:45,639
his rectum. No explanation ever determined. My friend who does autipses,

817
00:43:45,679 --> 00:43:48,280
found Barbie doll heads in the intestines of than twenty

818
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:52,840
one year old woman. Yes, Barbie dolls, Ken dolls, those

819
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:57,280
stuff weird parties. She died from COPD. It's possible to

820
00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:00,719
have COPD of twenty one. My friend said she smoked

821
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:03,320
two packs a day, so that maybe the probable cause.

822
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,000
My brother's story, not mine. Part of the training was

823
00:44:08,039 --> 00:44:11,400
to observe an autopsy. When examining the stomach contents of

824
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:14,519
a middle aged man, they found two wedding rings, four

825
00:44:14,559 --> 00:44:18,239
twenty pea coins, and a vibrating cc kring. He died

826
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,480
of a heart attack in a popular theme park on

827
00:44:20,519 --> 00:44:24,159
a ride. Take note, cedar point, this is what happens

828
00:44:24,159 --> 00:44:28,440
when you don't have enough belongings, lockers on site radit.

829
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,880
What is the most fricked up way you got back

830
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:34,480
at someone that wronged you? Throwaways? Encouraged friend and I

831
00:44:34,559 --> 00:44:37,079
were fishing at a local creek when my friend's brother

832
00:44:37,199 --> 00:44:40,440
pulled up. Being the donkey normally was, he started throwing

833
00:44:40,519 --> 00:44:42,519
rocks in the creek to scare the fish, and then

834
00:44:42,559 --> 00:44:45,000
he threw my friend's bike in the creek. We were

835
00:44:45,039 --> 00:44:47,800
thirteen at the time. My friend was crying and I

836
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:50,679
felt so bad. I jumped into the creek and got

837
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:53,760
his bike out, told him we would get his brother back.

838
00:44:54,079 --> 00:44:56,519
About a month later, we were fishing again, and it

839
00:44:56,599 --> 00:44:59,199
was the dead of summer. I told my friend, today

840
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,639
is the day we get his brother back. Caught a

841
00:45:01,679 --> 00:45:04,400
two stroke three pound carp, threw it up on the

842
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,679
side of the bank, and left it there until we

843
00:45:06,679 --> 00:45:09,159
were done fishing. At the end of the night, went

844
00:45:09,199 --> 00:45:12,159
back to his places. Brother's car was sitting on the street.

845
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,639
We took the carp, sliced it open, and threw it

846
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,480
under the driver's seat, and rolled his windows three stroke

847
00:45:17,559 --> 00:45:20,119
four up. The next morning, when we woke and left,

848
00:45:20,159 --> 00:45:21,920
I forgot about what we had done.

849
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:23,519
Speaker 2: Well. When I rode.

850
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:26,679
Speaker 1: Past JT's car, I noticed the window was kind of black,

851
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:28,719
and then I took a closer look. It was covered

852
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,840
in flies. I actually got scared because I did not

853
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,199
expect to a window caked with flies. By the time

854
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:37,679
I got home, I was laughing in tears because his

855
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,440
brother was always such a dong to us. The fast

856
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:44,199
forward to baseball practice about three days later. Friend had

857
00:45:44,199 --> 00:45:46,199
a black eye but smiled at me when we made

858
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:49,159
eye contact. His brother flipped out and ran into his

859
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:51,920
house and punched him in the face. His mom flipped

860
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,599
out on his brother. Brother was grounded for the rest

861
00:45:54,679 --> 00:45:57,440
of summer. His mom said that my friend would never

862
00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,480
do such a thing, and he played along and acted

863
00:45:59,519 --> 00:46:02,320
as if he had no idea. Apparently, the smell never

864
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,559
really left the car. We nicknamed his brother Lord of

865
00:46:05,599 --> 00:46:10,360
the Flies. A school bully repeatedly knocked a binder from

866
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,559
my best friend stands every single day while we walked

867
00:46:13,599 --> 00:46:16,159
down the hall. Now, we were in high school, back

868
00:46:16,199 --> 00:46:19,360
in the pre commumbine era, so people didn't freak out

869
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,920
as off and when kids did, fricked up crab. I

870
00:46:22,079 --> 00:46:24,960
convinced my friend to stick tacks through an entire side

871
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,960
of his binder, turning it into an extremely dangerous spiked weapon,

872
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,159
and just hold on extra tight while waiting for the

873
00:46:31,199 --> 00:46:34,119
bully to come do his thing. The kid lacerated his

874
00:46:34,199 --> 00:46:37,639
hand pretty badly. After he slammed his hand down into it.

875
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:41,079
My friend held on and yanked back. Jackass. Didn't try

876
00:46:41,079 --> 00:46:45,679
that crap again. I'm immune to poison ivy, so I

877
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,760
was always approuting it in our yard about a full acre.

878
00:46:49,039 --> 00:46:52,239
I'd left it on this concrete area behind our garage

879
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:55,440
because that's where it was near when I pulled it out. Okay,

880
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,880
I was a lazy anyway. I frequently walked down to

881
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,880
a fishing pond across Sis Canal in my neighborhood. This

882
00:47:02,039 --> 00:47:05,360
is in South Louisiana. I didn't always have a functioning

883
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,840
bike in the walk was only about a mile. A

884
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:11,280
big kid, probably two three years older than me was

885
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:14,119
a real jerkis. He'd do stuff like ride by me

886
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,480
on his bike and act like he was gonna high

887
00:47:16,519 --> 00:47:21,199
five me. He'll then slap my face and ride off laughing. Anyway,

888
00:47:21,519 --> 00:47:25,000
one day he did that and I went back home upset.

889
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:27,679
I got my water gun and was gonna shoot him

890
00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:30,039
if he mess with me again. Then I saw the

891
00:47:30,079 --> 00:47:32,880
poison ivy and got an evil idea. In the bucket,

892
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,519
it went with some water, stirred it all up good,

893
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:38,559
then dumped it in my water gun. Went back to

894
00:47:38,639 --> 00:47:41,480
the pond. On the way back home, he came around

895
00:47:41,519 --> 00:47:44,079
messing with me again. I hosed him down and he

896
00:47:44,119 --> 00:47:46,960
broke my gun, But man, it was worth it from

897
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:49,239
what I hear. He didn't go back to school for

898
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:54,360
almost two weeks. Not me, my brother. When my younger

899
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:57,320
brother was about three, my father had to look after

900
00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:00,000
him for the day. The plan was that y, after

901
00:48:00,199 --> 00:48:03,079
asking his boss, would take him into work for the day.

902
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:06,599
It was office work and he was friendly with his boss,

903
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,320
so my mum assumed it was no big deal. But

904
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:13,559
my father, however, didn't want a toddler distracting him all day,

905
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:15,880
so he left him in the car with the radio

906
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:19,079
on under cutting of apple juice. This is Britton, so

907
00:48:19,159 --> 00:48:21,840
it wouldn't overheat, but either where he was being an

908
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:24,360
ass At the end of the day, he returned back

909
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,760
to his car to drive home, expecting a sleeping toddler

910
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:31,599
who wouldn't tell his mother a thing. Instead, upon his return,

911
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:34,039
he found his son jumping up and down on the

912
00:48:34,039 --> 00:48:37,639
front seats to the radio on full blast, naked and laughing,

913
00:48:38,039 --> 00:48:41,480
slipping around and covered in crap. He had soiled himself,

914
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:43,719
removed his nappy, his feecal Mattay.

915
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 2: Everywhere.

916
00:48:44,559 --> 00:48:47,639
Speaker 1: Crap was smeared all over the driver's seat, the wind screen,

917
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:51,840
the steering wheel, the sat nav, the driver's window, even

918
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:54,880
hand printed on the ceiling. Our dad didn't even know

919
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,960
that toddlers could even produce this vast amount of turd.

920
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:00,760
The only car seat that was completely and touched was

921
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:05,079
his own tl DR. My three year brother was abandoned

922
00:49:05,079 --> 00:49:08,039
in a car for eight hours, later found smearing his

923
00:49:08,079 --> 00:49:11,880
own brand revenge paint all over my father's beloved BMW

924
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,559
serves the Father godam right. He's lucky he only had

925
00:49:15,559 --> 00:49:17,960
a car full of crap and not a smashed window

926
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:22,360
and a child in the custody of CPS. I moved

927
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,880
around a lot as a kid, Dad in the army,

928
00:49:25,159 --> 00:49:28,800
parents divorced. Not staying in one place made long term

929
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:33,599
friendships impossible, but my situation attracted bullies like flies. I

930
00:49:33,639 --> 00:49:36,400
moved to a new school. A bully picked up my scent,

931
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:40,840
instantly tripping and shoving, making fun of my clothes. Nothing

932
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:45,519
too terrible that I was already unhappy, so I felt miserable. Anyway,

933
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:48,920
One school day, I asked he used the restroom. I

934
00:49:49,039 --> 00:49:51,480
passed by, said bully on the way into the bathroom.

935
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:54,920
He actually didn't do anything to me this time. When

936
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:58,039
I entered the restroom, someone was in the early stall

937
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:02,079
crapping on the floor. I walked out of the bathroom, disgusted,

938
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:04,719
ready to tell on them. I was seven at the time.

939
00:50:05,039 --> 00:50:07,480
I was ready to re enter my classroom when an

940
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,880
incredible yet devious idea came to me. I went straight

941
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:14,400
to my bully's classroom and walked inside. Everyone looked at me,

942
00:50:14,679 --> 00:50:17,639
which normally would have given me enough hesitation to turn

943
00:50:17,679 --> 00:50:20,440
me one hundred and ato and back to class, But

944
00:50:20,559 --> 00:50:23,800
that day I didn't so much as pause. I walked

945
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:26,760
up to the teacher's desk, pointed at my tormentor, and

946
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,800
boldly proclaimed that he had crap on the bathroom floor.

947
00:50:30,199 --> 00:50:32,599
The teacher's reaction was better than I could have ever

948
00:50:32,679 --> 00:50:36,000
expected for me. She made him follow her into the

949
00:50:36,039 --> 00:50:38,800
restroom while he cried and slotted out, I didn't do it.

950
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,719
He's lying, over and over again. She then grabbed a

951
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:44,280
wad up paper towel, handed it to him, and we

952
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:46,039
watched as he picked him up and put it into

953
00:50:46,079 --> 00:50:48,920
the commode. She thanked me for telling her and told

954
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,760
me to go back to my classroom. This happened about

955
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,760
twenty years ago. I still look back at this moment

956
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:57,599
as a turning point in my life, like I became

957
00:50:57,679 --> 00:51:02,719
me then all male military boarding school. During high school,

958
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,519
there was this huge douche on my hall. We took

959
00:51:05,519 --> 00:51:08,400
his Febrary's bottle and filled it with p then took

960
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,960
said bottle and sprayed his pillow, war locker and opposite corner.

961
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:15,519
So he gets back, smells urine and immediately grabs his

962
00:51:15,599 --> 00:51:21,079
fabris and douses everything. Eat a dong, Donovan, Eat a dong.

963
00:51:22,599 --> 00:51:25,199
I used to live in a very small town, like

964
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:28,880
two hundred and fifty three hundred people. We had no stores,

965
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:32,840
gas stations, et cetera. One day, a local guy decided

966
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,320
to open up a little store that sold the basics

967
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:38,679
like groceries and rented movies. He hired a few of

968
00:51:38,679 --> 00:51:41,679
this high school kids to work the store and promised

969
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:43,960
fifty US dollars a week for the summer, to be

970
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:46,719
paid at the end of the summer. We agreed and

971
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:51,000
started working. We gave up a summer stocking shelves, cleaning

972
00:51:51,039 --> 00:51:54,440
the bathroom, lawn care, and whatever else. While the end

973
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:57,400
of the summer comes around, it's our last day. Of

974
00:51:57,519 --> 00:52:01,480
work and he comes by with our paycheck, fifty dollars

975
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:05,280
for each of us for the whole summer. Needless to say,

976
00:52:05,519 --> 00:52:08,000
we weren't too happy, but his words were, what the

977
00:52:08,039 --> 00:52:10,159
frick are you going to do about it? Drop the

978
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:12,760
key off at my house since you won't need it anymore.

979
00:52:13,039 --> 00:52:15,400
We came up with a plan to pay this douchebag

980
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:18,559
back before locking up the store for the last time

981
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:21,760
we left a window unlocked. We dropped the key off

982
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:25,239
at the house. Around midnight, we were back at the store,

983
00:52:25,599 --> 00:52:30,480
grabbed as much as we could cigarettes money from the register, candy,

984
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:34,639
probably about one thousand dollars worth of crap, lock the window,

985
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,880
then left through the emergency exits that had no alarm.

986
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:41,519
There were also no cameras of any kind. Next day

987
00:52:41,559 --> 00:52:43,960
there were cops there. He accused all of this of

988
00:52:44,079 --> 00:52:47,079
doing it, but had no proof. He ended up having

989
00:52:47,159 --> 00:52:49,719
to shut down the store a few months later because

990
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:52,079
the town heard how he didn't pay us and stopped

991
00:52:52,119 --> 00:52:55,840
doing business there. I don't feel bad, sucker deserve it.

992
00:52:56,199 --> 00:53:00,159
Figures it's about a crime I committed fifteen years ago. Well,

993
00:53:00,199 --> 00:53:03,199
there are people so dumb they'll rip off teenagers. Add

994
00:53:03,199 --> 00:53:05,880
insult to injury and then ask for their key back.

995
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:10,079
When my brother and I were kids, we used to

996
00:53:10,079 --> 00:53:13,400
play in our front yard all the time. Once we

997
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:16,000
were playing baseball and our ball rolled down the hill

998
00:53:16,039 --> 00:53:19,960
into our neighbor's backyard. Anyway, my brother and I went

999
00:53:20,039 --> 00:53:23,079
inside to find another ball to play with. In those

1000
00:53:23,159 --> 00:53:25,800
five minutes, he walked up the hill and pounded on

1001
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,519
our front door. My mom answered, and he flew into

1002
00:53:28,559 --> 00:53:31,280
a rage at her, screaming about the goddan kids ruining

1003
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:34,239
his lawn. My mom tried to calm him down, but

1004
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:36,360
he put back his fist as if he was going

1005
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,559
to punch her. When my mom flinched, he started to

1006
00:53:39,679 --> 00:53:42,559
laugh and spit on our doorstep. My brother and I

1007
00:53:42,599 --> 00:53:46,159
saw everything and declared covert more. We were smart. We

1008
00:53:46,199 --> 00:53:49,559
waited until he wouldn't be too suspicious. To this day,

1009
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:53,639
we haven't been court because everything could have just happened naturally.

1010
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:56,880
We didn't do everything at once, but rather over the

1011
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:59,559
course of many years. Here is a rough list of

1012
00:53:59,639 --> 00:54:03,119
all the things I remember doing. Poured female deer lurint

1013
00:54:03,159 --> 00:54:06,039
at his cars and houses, ac intake vents to perfume

1014
00:54:06,079 --> 00:54:09,360
his air with an unholy stench. Saved up all shuds

1015
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:13,039
of sharp glass nails eat ecy and would scatter them

1016
00:54:13,079 --> 00:54:16,480
on the ends of his driveway. Bought high strength concentrated

1017
00:54:16,519 --> 00:54:20,280
weedkilleran would apply it liberally to his prized shrubs flowers.

1018
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:23,679
Found his car in public parking lots and threw blown

1019
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,239
on it to ruin the paint job. No clue if

1020
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:29,840
this one actually worked, though. Collected road kill and assorted

1021
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:33,039
dead critters we found we had cass and would throw

1022
00:54:33,119 --> 00:54:36,280
them under the top that covered his pool. Waited until

1023
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:38,760
they went on vocation, and put sugar all over their

1024
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:41,159
doors and window sills in hope that bugs would get

1025
00:54:41,159 --> 00:54:44,239
into the house and nest. I still don't feel guilty.

1026
00:54:44,559 --> 00:54:48,519
The guy was a huge prick. Still is a huge prick. Actually,

1027
00:54:50,079 --> 00:54:53,119
I worked at a place during college that served sandwiches

1028
00:54:53,159 --> 00:54:55,840
and cough It was a cool place. A lot of

1029
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:58,119
people hung out there and dire like to everyone I

1030
00:54:58,159 --> 00:55:01,559
worked with, But my boss was biggest buttole in the world.

1031
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:04,360
One week, on pay day, he got all the employees

1032
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:07,039
together and told us that we wouldn't be getting paid

1033
00:55:07,119 --> 00:55:09,679
that week and we would have to wait until next week.

1034
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,039
We were fine with that, but when the next payday

1035
00:55:12,119 --> 00:55:14,719
rolled around, he didn't have the money. This went on

1036
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:17,760
for about a month. We were all working under the table,

1037
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:19,559
and he told us that if we could, we would

1038
00:55:19,559 --> 00:55:21,760
never get any of the money he owed us. We

1039
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:24,599
later found out he never planned on paying us. We

1040
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:27,519
found out he was blowing his cash on cook and gambling.

1041
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:30,320
He stopped showing up to work for like three weeks,

1042
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:33,320
so it was just the employees running the store. In

1043
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:36,039
those three weeks, we gave away pretty much everything in

1044
00:55:36,079 --> 00:55:39,719
the store for free, literally emptied it out. Anyone who

1045
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,320
came in and ordered something got it for free. We

1046
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:45,719
even had a party there one night, open mic and everything.

1047
00:55:46,119 --> 00:55:48,280
So he finally shows up and he looks like he

1048
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:51,079
has been awake for a week straight. He comes in,

1049
00:55:51,119 --> 00:55:53,920
freaking the frick out, threatens to beat the crap out

1050
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:57,400
of us, starts throwing things around. I was in the

1051
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,360
back and saw that he was double parked outside, so

1052
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:03,320
I called the campus to in company that was literally

1053
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,920
a block away. While he is freaking out at this,

1054
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:09,920
one of the employees says, hey, your truck is getting towed.

1055
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:13,280
He runs outside and watches his escalade get toed away.

1056
00:56:13,599 --> 00:56:15,960
We all bounced out the back door and never looked

1057
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:20,079
back when I was thirteen, I woke up in the

1058
00:56:20,079 --> 00:56:22,159
middle of the night to a man lying next to

1059
00:56:22,199 --> 00:56:25,239
me in my small bed, staring right at me. I

1060
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:28,760
looked at him all confused and told myself, oh, silly,

1061
00:56:29,159 --> 00:56:32,159
you're having a nightmare. So I smiled at him, closed

1062
00:56:32,159 --> 00:56:34,960
my eyes, and was about to fall back asleep when

1063
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:38,280
he started touching my thigh. Two things happened at once.

1064
00:56:38,639 --> 00:56:41,519
I realized that I was only in my bra and underwear,

1065
00:56:41,519 --> 00:56:44,639
in that I was definitely not having a nightmare. Feel

1066
00:56:44,719 --> 00:56:47,559
like I've never felt before. Grip devery inch of my body,

1067
00:56:47,599 --> 00:56:50,559
and I think I stop breathing. He started making his

1068
00:56:50,639 --> 00:56:53,639
way up to my underwear, presumably to take them off.

1069
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:54,559
Speaker 2: What did I do?

1070
00:56:55,039 --> 00:56:57,280
Speaker 1: I opened my eyes and I crap, you not said,

1071
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:00,760
hold on a second, I have to pee. Looked shocked,

1072
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,639
but didn't stop me as I wrapped my blanket around

1073
00:57:03,639 --> 00:57:06,159
my body and proceeded to take a few steps toward

1074
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:09,519
my bathroom. Then I noticed that my bedroom door was

1075
00:57:09,559 --> 00:57:13,039
wide open, so I belted. I ran to my mom's room,

1076
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:15,639
banged on the door, and screamed about how there was

1077
00:57:15,679 --> 00:57:18,039
a man in my bedroom. My mom came out to

1078
00:57:18,079 --> 00:57:20,880
the hallway and had just started reassuring me that it

1079
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:23,599
was a bad dream. When the sucker dashed out of

1080
00:57:23,599 --> 00:57:26,480
my room and toward the front door, my mom froze

1081
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:28,920
if I got the biggest sense of how the frick

1082
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,239
dare he try to violate me? That's when I grabbed

1083
00:57:31,239 --> 00:57:33,800
a lamp, ripped the cord out of the wall socket

1084
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:37,239
as I started chasing him insanely, waving that lamp and

1085
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:40,559
screaming all the profanities that my thirteen year old mind

1086
00:57:40,559 --> 00:57:43,519
has ever heard. I chased that sucker down the streets

1087
00:57:43,559 --> 00:57:46,599
while my mom called the police. I lost him somewhere

1088
00:57:46,639 --> 00:57:49,800
in the dark, but when the police came, got statements

1089
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:53,519
and started searching the neighborhood, I got my revenge. They

1090
00:57:53,559 --> 00:57:56,559
caught him hiding in the bushes, brought him over and

1091
00:57:56,679 --> 00:57:59,639
asked me to identify him. I marched right up to

1092
00:57:59,679 --> 00:58:03,159
that kneed him in the bulls and walked away, saying, heck, yes,

1093
00:58:03,239 --> 00:58:06,400
I want to press charges. When I first read this,

1094
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,840
I thought, he said, silly, you're having a nightmare, and

1095
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:13,000
I thought, that is the busiest debauter in the world.

1096
00:58:14,559 --> 00:58:16,840
My dad used to live in an apartment building with

1097
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:19,920
a sign parking as in every tenant had a designated

1098
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,920
space that only they were allowed to park in. Well,

1099
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:26,000
my dad would regularly come home to find someone else

1100
00:58:26,119 --> 00:58:28,800
parked in his spot. He had asked the guy politely

1101
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:31,199
several times not to park in his spot, and had

1102
00:58:31,239 --> 00:58:34,079
even talked to the landlord's who had done nothing about it.

1103
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:36,559
So one day he got home to find the guy

1104
00:58:36,639 --> 00:58:39,440
parkes in his spot again and decided enough was enough.

1105
00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:42,679
My dad had always worked on cars ever since he

1106
00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:45,440
was thirteen. He had a jack in his trunk and

1107
00:58:45,599 --> 00:58:47,840
used that to jack the guy's car up off its

1108
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,880
rear tires. It was a rear wheel drive car, which

1109
00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:53,840
meant my dad now had control of the car. Using

1110
00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:56,079
the jack, he pulled the car across the lot and

1111
00:58:56,159 --> 00:58:59,280
left it somewhat hidden behind a dumpster. Then he left

1112
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:02,760
a car down, put away his jack, parkes in his spot,

1113
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:05,519
and went up to his apartment. Later that day he

1114
00:59:05,599 --> 00:59:08,000
got a knock on his door. It was a police

1115
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:11,880
officer with the inconsiderate neighbor behind him. The officer asked

1116
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,079
my dad what he had done with the neighbour's car,

1117
00:59:14,119 --> 00:59:16,320
and my dad looked him right in the eye and said,

1118
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:18,639
he parked in my spot, and I've asked him several

1119
00:59:18,719 --> 00:59:21,440
times not to do so, so I lifted his car

1120
00:59:21,519 --> 00:59:24,559
up and set it over by the dumpster. Now, to

1121
00:59:24,639 --> 00:59:27,280
give you an idea about my dad, he's six feet

1122
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:29,960
five inches and back in the day, was really well built.

1123
00:59:30,239 --> 00:59:32,840
He also has only one eye, and the fake one

1124
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:35,760
he's god has always been too small, giving him a

1125
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:38,840
constant madman look. When he told the officer that he'd

1126
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:41,440
lifted the car and moved it himself, and even pointed

1127
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,920
out where the car was through his apartment window, the

1128
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:47,079
police officer's eyes got as big as dinner plates. He

1129
00:59:47,119 --> 00:59:49,639
turned to the neighbor and said, Sir, I recommend you

1130
00:59:49,719 --> 00:59:52,639
never park in this man's spot again. Guy stopped parking

1131
00:59:52,679 --> 00:59:56,679
in my dad's spot. After that, my friend pulled a

1132
00:59:56,679 --> 00:59:59,920
fairly innocent prank on me to pay him back. As

1133
01:00:00,079 --> 01:00:02,599
we got to a very busy airport to fly to Vegas,

1134
01:00:02,679 --> 01:00:05,519
I put the lead lined bag used to protect film

1135
01:00:05,599 --> 01:00:08,400
going through the X ray machine in his carry on.

1136
01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:11,239
They had to check his bag right there. In it,

1137
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:14,519
I put her cell up, a chubove, Nolly's lubricant, a

1138
01:00:14,599 --> 01:00:17,280
loose deck of naked men playing cards, and dozens of

1139
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:21,159
extra small condoms. He of course, looked horrified, pleading that

1140
01:00:21,239 --> 01:00:24,559
it wasn't his, which it wasn't, but no one believed him.

1141
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:27,639
They put everything back laughing, and he was allowed through.

1142
01:00:29,159 --> 01:00:31,880
My girlfriend of three years that I dated through high

1143
01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:34,719
school broke up with me my first semester of college.

1144
01:00:35,079 --> 01:00:37,480
We went to different schools, and I later learned she

1145
01:00:37,599 --> 01:00:40,599
was hooking up with one of her guy friends there. Anyways,

1146
01:00:40,599 --> 01:00:42,599
when we both were on break, she asked me to

1147
01:00:42,639 --> 01:00:48,760
bring back all the stuff she had given me, presents, sweatshirts, cards, etc.

1148
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:51,599
So I drive to her house with all the things

1149
01:00:51,599 --> 01:00:54,719
we've exchanged in the past three years. Once I got

1150
01:00:54,719 --> 01:00:57,000
to her house, I saw that she had invited all

1151
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,079
her friends over and they were sitting with her along

1152
01:00:59,119 --> 01:01:02,039
with her parents in the garage. Anyways, I walk up

1153
01:01:02,079 --> 01:01:05,119
with her crap and exchange everyone. They had that smirk

1154
01:01:05,159 --> 01:01:07,800
on their face like they were laughing at me. Anyways,

1155
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:09,800
as I give her back hath things, I say, if

1156
01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:12,199
only I could give back your virginity. The look on

1157
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:16,039
her parents' faces was absolutely priceless, and I walked out

1158
01:01:16,079 --> 01:01:19,559
of that lambs then with the biggest smile on my face, happy,

1159
01:01:19,639 --> 01:01:22,159
this is great, It's awesome. How you can have an

1160
01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:25,719
entire situation and group of people against you and turn

1161
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:29,719
it around with nothing but a few words. My then

1162
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:32,760
high school girl friend was a total bee and wanted

1163
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:35,840
me to abandon all of my friends, would always try

1164
01:01:35,880 --> 01:01:39,320
to bring me down, Etzet said. When I got fed up,

1165
01:01:39,519 --> 01:01:42,360
I broke up with her on picture day. She took them,

1166
01:01:42,639 --> 01:01:46,519
but her mascare was everywhere. Two days later, I told

1167
01:01:46,559 --> 01:01:49,239
her that I was sorry, blah blah, and I wanted

1168
01:01:49,239 --> 01:01:52,280
to get back together. She liked having someone to walk on,

1169
01:01:52,719 --> 01:01:55,440
so of course she said yes. I then broke up

1170
01:01:55,440 --> 01:02:00,840
with her again on retake day. Freaking nailed it, slow clap.

1171
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,960
My friend got rufied and violated by a frash flick

1172
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:07,000
about a decade ago at a local high toned university.

1173
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:11,599
Despite a shitting of evidence, he was never arrested, never expelled,

1174
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:14,320
never had to face any sort of penalty for this,

1175
01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:16,800
and managed to get my friend labeled a SS who

1176
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:19,280
totally wanted it and was now only pretending it was

1177
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:21,880
rate because he wouldn't break up with his girl friend

1178
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:25,760
for her A pretty charming guy. Really, I put capsicumb

1179
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:29,159
extract in his eye. Drops my reaction to your post

1180
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:33,639
so I've definitely come to this way too late for Kalma,

1181
01:02:33,719 --> 01:02:36,519
but I decided to share this story just for any

1182
01:02:36,599 --> 01:02:39,599
lurkers to enjoy. When I was in first grade, there

1183
01:02:39,639 --> 01:02:42,440
was this jerk that we'll call Eric, who essentially made

1184
01:02:42,440 --> 01:02:45,719
my life a living heck. He was constantly shoving me down,

1185
01:02:46,119 --> 01:02:49,519
stealing the ball from me, and would consistently smack me

1186
01:02:49,639 --> 01:02:51,719
or throw things at me in class. When the titch's

1187
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,719
back was turned, I often got in trouble for yelling

1188
01:02:54,719 --> 01:02:57,880
at him or hitting him back. Meanwhile, the sneaky bustard

1189
01:02:57,960 --> 01:03:01,079
was an angel in her eyes. It December and the

1190
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:04,480
entire class is excited about two things, bring your dad

1191
01:03:04,559 --> 01:03:08,639
to school day and Christmas. Well, one day in class,

1192
01:03:08,920 --> 01:03:12,079
our teacher was talking about Christmas and Santa Claus when

1193
01:03:12,199 --> 01:03:15,559
Eric blurts out, Santa isn't real, He's just make believe

1194
01:03:15,639 --> 01:03:18,639
for babies. The teacher tried to make him be quiet,

1195
01:03:18,960 --> 01:03:22,760
but the damage was already done. The entire class was distraught.

1196
01:03:23,119 --> 01:03:25,880
Two girls actually had to leave the classroom because they

1197
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:28,679
were crying so much. I got home and told my

1198
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:31,760
parents what Eric had said, and they convinced me that

1199
01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:34,199
Santa was real and said that Eric was just a

1200
01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:37,599
mean little boy. A few days passed without further incident,

1201
01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:41,199
and it was time to bring your dad to school day. However,

1202
01:03:41,559 --> 01:03:44,599
my dad had canceled a few days before, saying that

1203
01:03:44,719 --> 01:03:47,400
he had a really important meeting that he couldn't afford

1204
01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:51,239
to miss. Well, the dads all arrived class shortly after

1205
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:54,800
lunch and were presenting briefly one by one. Went suddenly,

1206
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:58,000
who would burst into the classroom but Santa Fricking Clause,

1207
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:02,480
letting out a big h oh. The pudgy Saint Nix

1208
01:04:02,519 --> 01:04:06,039
strode into the classroom, hugged our teacher and gave a

1209
01:04:06,079 --> 01:04:09,360
brief presentation about elves and toy making and his reindeer.

1210
01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:12,320
He then went around the classroom, giving all the kids

1211
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:15,880
many reeces, and right before he left, wensay which one

1212
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:16,440
of his you was.

1213
01:04:16,559 --> 01:04:16,719
Speaker 2: Eric.

1214
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:19,559
Speaker 1: The teacher pointed him out, and Santo went up to

1215
01:04:19,679 --> 01:04:22,519
his desk and said something like, you know, Eric, it's

1216
01:04:22,559 --> 01:04:25,239
not nice to tell people that I'm not real. If

1217
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:28,000
you keep being a naughty boy, you'll be getting coal

1218
01:04:28,079 --> 01:04:30,639
next week. Eric just looked back at him, stunned, and

1219
01:04:30,679 --> 01:04:33,719
gave a sheepish nod. Santa then went and stood by

1220
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:37,199
the doorway gave a cheery laugh, and right before he

1221
01:04:37,239 --> 01:04:39,360
walked out, looked me dead in the eyes and winked.

1222
01:04:39,639 --> 01:04:42,239
I was amazed and ran home telling my parents all

1223
01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:45,199
about what had happened that day. Eric wasn't as mean

1224
01:04:45,239 --> 01:04:48,519
after that, and everything in the first grade was gumroobs

1225
01:04:48,519 --> 01:04:51,000
and ice cream. It wasn't until I was in high

1226
01:04:51,039 --> 01:04:53,639
school that my mother revealed that the Santa Claus was

1227
01:04:53,679 --> 01:04:56,440
actually my dad. He had gone so far as to

1228
01:04:56,480 --> 01:04:59,119
buy an expensive fat suit and mask in order to

1229
01:04:59,159 --> 01:05:03,079
fool me and everyone else the tl DR. My dad

1230
01:05:03,199 --> 01:05:05,559
dressed up a Santa Clause and came to my first

1231
01:05:05,599 --> 01:05:09,719
grade class to tell a bully to act right, gentlemen,

1232
01:05:10,119 --> 01:05:12,719
what is an absolute red flagger woman can raise on

1233
01:05:12,760 --> 01:05:15,599
the first date. My brother was in the army when

1234
01:05:15,639 --> 01:05:17,400
he was set up on a blind date by a

1235
01:05:17,559 --> 01:05:21,400
friend's girlfriend. Apparently, during the first ten minutes of dinner,

1236
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:23,440
she was talking about how she would be such a

1237
01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:26,400
great and lowell army wife, and how she thought army

1238
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:28,760
wives were so brave and admirable, and how she would

1239
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:31,440
never leave him if he was injured. He had literally

1240
01:05:31,599 --> 01:05:34,320
just met this girl. He stuck it out through dinner,

1241
01:05:34,639 --> 01:05:37,800
faked sick, and left. She pursued him pretty hard after,

1242
01:05:38,159 --> 01:05:40,440
but he led and told her he decided he wasn't

1243
01:05:40,480 --> 01:05:43,400
really over his ex and wasn't ready for a relationship,

1244
01:05:43,599 --> 01:05:45,920
he said. About a month later, she tried to text

1245
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:48,519
him with a booty call and said she even tried

1246
01:05:48,559 --> 01:05:50,880
to sweet him the deal by saying he didn't need

1247
01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:54,039
to wear protection because she was on birth control. But like,

1248
01:05:54,119 --> 01:05:58,320
how many are red flags can one girl have? This

1249
01:05:58,440 --> 01:06:00,840
takes me back to the early twenty's version of me

1250
01:06:00,880 --> 01:06:03,360
and a fine lass named Rebecca. We met at a

1251
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:06,079
New Year's party. She tall and dart sea with some

1252
01:06:06,280 --> 01:06:10,039
feather arrangement in her hair. I complimented who midnight and

1253
01:06:10,079 --> 01:06:12,199
a proper kiss on the cheek, with the promise of

1254
01:06:12,239 --> 01:06:15,400
a first date to start nineteen ninety one. I picked

1255
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:17,360
her up for said date a few days later. In

1256
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:20,639
same hair treatment. She tells me she's obsessed with birds

1257
01:06:20,679 --> 01:06:24,639
and always wears a feather somewhere up. Okay, no problem,

1258
01:06:24,960 --> 01:06:27,440
She's still cute in full light and this just makes

1259
01:06:27,440 --> 01:06:28,079
her quirky.

1260
01:06:28,559 --> 01:06:28,719
Speaker 2: Right.

1261
01:06:29,119 --> 01:06:31,199
Speaker 1: I was just a few years older, and we went

1262
01:06:31,239 --> 01:06:34,639
to a really nice Italian place near DC. She remarks,

1263
01:06:34,639 --> 01:06:36,719
how nice to be out weather grown up, But she's

1264
01:06:36,760 --> 01:06:40,920
finishing college and has been dating boys. Nice dinner's great

1265
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:44,159
until dessert the whipped cream on mine reminds her of

1266
01:06:44,239 --> 01:06:47,440
her last boyfriend. She then tells me in great detail

1267
01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:50,239
how she stalked him, hiding in bushes near his house

1268
01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:53,519
to spy effine with his tires and covering his entire

1269
01:06:53,599 --> 01:06:56,440
car in whipped cream and eggs. Isn't that just the

1270
01:06:56,519 --> 01:06:57,639
funnest check?

1271
01:06:58,000 --> 01:06:58,400
Speaker 2: Please?

1272
01:06:59,039 --> 01:07:02,800
Speaker 1: Are you sure she was? Isn't actually a bird? I

1273
01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:05,400
went to meet a woman from an online dating sitan.

1274
01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:07,559
At the last minute, she texted to ask if I

1275
01:07:07,559 --> 01:07:09,679
could swing by her house, which was only a few

1276
01:07:09,719 --> 01:07:12,599
blocks away from the Starbucks we were supposed to meet at.

1277
01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:15,280
That should have been a tip off in retrospect, but

1278
01:07:15,360 --> 01:07:18,519
we chatted a lot online, so I felt comfortable enough.

1279
01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:21,039
Maybe she just needed a lift or something.

1280
01:07:21,440 --> 01:07:21,920
Speaker 2: Instead.

1281
01:07:22,239 --> 01:07:24,239
Speaker 1: I come up to her house and when she opens

1282
01:07:24,320 --> 01:07:27,639
the door, she is wearing an ankle bracelet. She begs

1283
01:07:27,639 --> 01:07:30,119
me to please understand how she didn't want to mention

1284
01:07:30,199 --> 01:07:32,559
it on the dating sitan, to please hear her out.

1285
01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:36,400
I was naturally uncomfortable by this point, but also curious,

1286
01:07:36,440 --> 01:07:38,320
so I sat down for a few minutes in.

1287
01:07:38,280 --> 01:07:39,000
Speaker 2: Her living room.

1288
01:07:39,400 --> 01:07:41,880
Speaker 1: She told me of this domestic dispute she had with

1289
01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:44,320
her excitat had turned violent and now she was on

1290
01:07:44,440 --> 01:07:48,239
thirty days house arrest. A very overweight teenage girl came

1291
01:07:48,280 --> 01:07:50,679
into the room at this point, and the woman said,

1292
01:07:50,719 --> 01:07:52,920
oh yea, I also forget to mention I come with

1293
01:07:53,039 --> 01:07:55,599
this now. I just wanted to get the heck out

1294
01:07:55,599 --> 01:07:58,519
of there. I started making excuses to leave, but she

1295
01:07:58,639 --> 01:08:02,079
kept trying to get me to say, please, just one

1296
01:08:02,159 --> 01:08:04,960
date after I am done with house arrest, the things

1297
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:07,480
I could learn from a man of your smarts. I

1298
01:08:07,559 --> 01:08:10,559
said nothing, besides, I really have to go. We'll think

1299
01:08:10,599 --> 01:08:13,280
about it. I just walked out the door, and she followed,

1300
01:08:13,639 --> 01:08:17,199
explaining that the bracelet had a range of several feet outside.

1301
01:08:17,239 --> 01:08:19,479
I was rummaging for my car keys next to my

1302
01:08:19,640 --> 01:08:22,199
car when she grabbed my left hand and slid it

1303
01:08:22,279 --> 01:08:25,520
under her shirt, placing it directly on her bare breast.

1304
01:08:25,880 --> 01:08:28,199
She looked up at me with a wicked grin. I

1305
01:08:28,319 --> 01:08:30,600
got in the car without a word and just drove.

1306
01:08:31,119 --> 01:08:33,479
I never felt so happy to drive away from a

1307
01:08:33,520 --> 01:08:37,079
place in my life. So YEA, asking me about red

1308
01:08:37,119 --> 01:08:40,239
flags may not be a great idea, though hopefully I

1309
01:08:40,359 --> 01:08:44,239
have wived up since then, asking if you have ever

1310
01:08:44,319 --> 01:08:47,399
done h and would like to shoot up later unless

1311
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:50,479
you do want to shoot up later, same for doing.

1312
01:08:50,279 --> 01:08:51,079
Speaker 2: Lines of coke.

1313
01:08:52,720 --> 01:08:55,560
Speaker 1: Had dinner with a blind date only so her eyes

1314
01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:58,239
maybe for three minutes before she was glued to her

1315
01:08:58,279 --> 01:09:02,680
Instagram and Snapchat, giggling to herself and replying to her followers.

1316
01:09:03,079 --> 01:09:05,640
Tried to have a decent convo, but she was like

1317
01:09:05,720 --> 01:09:09,279
a hut, that's cool. Waitress comes. She doesn't even bother

1318
01:09:09,399 --> 01:09:13,640
looking at the menu, steak, fries and a glass of champagne.

1319
01:09:13,680 --> 01:09:16,279
Then out of the blue, how much money do you make?

1320
01:09:16,640 --> 01:09:19,119
I got up, told her the date was done, and

1321
01:09:19,199 --> 01:09:21,800
left her at the restaurant. She was so glued to

1322
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:25,079
her phone she just nodded. She blows up my phone,

1323
01:09:25,159 --> 01:09:27,439
raging that I was supposed to buy her dinner, and

1324
01:09:27,520 --> 01:09:29,920
exclaimed she had no money or ride to get back

1325
01:09:29,960 --> 01:09:33,199
to her man's place, so yet she was fishing for

1326
01:09:33,239 --> 01:09:37,159
free food and drinks. You made it out perfectly. Congrats

1327
01:09:37,199 --> 01:09:41,760
on you, Oh boy, Here we go. Long story short.

1328
01:09:42,079 --> 01:09:43,800
I went on a date with a chick and we

1329
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,399
were vibing really well before she turned ice cold and

1330
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:49,479
began acting like a bee. At that point, I just

1331
01:09:49,800 --> 01:09:52,439
wasn't enjoying it, so I made up some excuse about

1332
01:09:52,439 --> 01:09:55,399
having some stuff to do and left. Few hours later,

1333
01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:58,119
she texts me she was disappointed that I gave up

1334
01:09:58,159 --> 01:10:00,079
so easy, and she was testing how much I I

1335
01:10:00,279 --> 01:10:00,680
liked her.

1336
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:02,079
Speaker 2: Needless to say.

1337
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:04,600
Speaker 1: I didn't ask her on a second date. I'd rather

1338
01:10:04,680 --> 01:10:07,199
be single, cellar but than have a relationship sex with

1339
01:10:07,279 --> 01:10:10,079
the entire cast of mean girls crammed into a single

1340
01:10:10,119 --> 01:10:14,319
person with the maturity of a high school freshman. She

1341
01:10:14,479 --> 01:10:16,720
asked me to drive her back home to ensure she

1342
01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:19,840
hadn't left her an on. Twenty years later, I'm still

1343
01:10:19,920 --> 01:10:23,760
checking that she's locked doors, turned things off, locked up

1344
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:27,439
the pets, et cetera. That's a long time to stalk somebody.

1345
01:10:28,960 --> 01:10:31,560
She brings a guy from Tinder to the date. His

1346
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:34,880
name is Craig. He uses a paper clip as an earring.

1347
01:10:35,239 --> 01:10:38,319
He spends most of the date sewing. Still wasn't the

1348
01:10:38,319 --> 01:10:41,239
worst date I've ever had, So now I want to

1349
01:10:41,239 --> 01:10:45,279
hear about the worst date. A girl I dated was

1350
01:10:45,359 --> 01:10:48,399
really obsessive over her aches did not like wanting to

1351
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:51,560
get back with him. No, no, no good sir. She

1352
01:10:51,840 --> 01:10:54,520
just wanted to make sure he didn't date anyone and

1353
01:10:54,560 --> 01:10:57,800
would force everyone around her to help her, including me.

1354
01:10:58,239 --> 01:11:01,039
I found out from her aches, a really nice guy

1355
01:11:01,439 --> 01:11:03,920
that on the first date we went on, she chose

1356
01:11:03,960 --> 01:11:06,960
a specific restaurant because he had a date and she

1357
01:11:07,079 --> 01:11:11,920
wanted to ruin it. Yikes, your well meaning co worker

1358
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:14,439
sets you up on a blind date with her fun friend.

1359
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:17,079
You agree to meet at a bar, but then her

1360
01:11:17,119 --> 01:11:19,479
friend asks you to pick her up because she lost

1361
01:11:19,479 --> 01:11:22,359
her license. You get to her apartment and she is

1362
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:25,239
arguing with a man out front. She flips him the

1363
01:11:25,239 --> 01:11:27,680
bird before spitting in his face, then gets.

1364
01:11:27,399 --> 01:11:28,159
Speaker 2: Into your car.

1365
01:11:28,479 --> 01:11:30,920
Speaker 1: It is at this crucial point you noticed she brought

1366
01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:33,760
a suit case full of her things. After you finish

1367
01:11:33,840 --> 01:11:36,199
the drink you ordered with your meal, she finishes her

1368
01:11:36,199 --> 01:11:39,279
fifth one. The entire time, you haven't said more than

1369
01:11:39,279 --> 01:11:43,000
a few words, not because you're being indifferent, but because

1370
01:11:43,039 --> 01:11:46,960
she always interrupts with anecdotes about her abusive childhood. The

1371
01:11:47,039 --> 01:11:50,720
bill comes, she slides it over to you. She informs

1372
01:11:50,760 --> 01:11:53,039
you that she doesn't have any money and assumed you

1373
01:11:53,079 --> 01:11:55,880
have intended to pay for the entire date. On the

1374
01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:58,319
way to the car, she informs you that she wants

1375
01:11:58,319 --> 01:12:02,199
to have unprotected sex. Don't worry, though she tells you

1376
01:12:02,319 --> 01:12:05,680
that you cannot impregnate her, she is already carrying another

1377
01:12:05,760 --> 01:12:09,279
man's child. While taking her home, she begins gesturing to

1378
01:12:09,319 --> 01:12:11,560
her suit case while asking to live with you a

1379
01:12:11,560 --> 01:12:14,880
few weeks. She is broken destitute till she begins her

1380
01:12:14,880 --> 01:12:17,359
new job as a stripper on Monday. The man she

1381
01:12:17,520 --> 01:12:19,920
was arguing with was letting her stay with him till

1382
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:23,319
she saved up enough money for her own place. Unfortunately,

1383
01:12:23,359 --> 01:12:25,760
that man had kicked her out since she was bringing

1384
01:12:25,800 --> 01:12:28,920
other men over to his apartment to freke. In her opinion,

1385
01:12:28,960 --> 01:12:32,439
it was unfair, after all, she never agreed to only

1386
01:12:32,439 --> 01:12:35,680
be sleeping with him exclusively. After pulling her hand out

1387
01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:38,359
of your crotch and telling her you're not interested, you

1388
01:12:38,439 --> 01:12:41,720
get to the apartment you picked her up from. Unfortunately,

1389
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:44,920
you live in the same apartment complex, only a couple

1390
01:12:44,960 --> 01:12:48,079
buildings around the corner, far enough from where you park,

1391
01:12:48,119 --> 01:12:50,239
but not so far that she doesn't follow you all

1392
01:12:50,279 --> 01:12:53,119
the way to your front door. She sexually assaults you

1393
01:12:53,159 --> 01:12:56,439
while trying to force her way into the apartment. You panic,

1394
01:12:56,720 --> 01:12:59,720
but then hear your cellphone ring. It's a telemarketer to

1395
01:12:59,720 --> 01:13:03,880
tell you about your vehicles expiring extended warranty. You pretend

1396
01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:07,119
it to work, push your way outside, lock the door,

1397
01:13:07,159 --> 01:13:10,079
and hope she forgets the number scrolling across it. She

1398
01:13:10,199 --> 01:13:12,880
follows you to your car, asking when you will come

1399
01:13:12,920 --> 01:13:15,439
back home. You leave her standing in the rear view

1400
01:13:15,479 --> 01:13:17,960
mirror while you speed off into the night. You then

1401
01:13:18,039 --> 01:13:20,720
spend a few hours sitting in the mall parking lot

1402
01:13:21,079 --> 01:13:23,960
waiting for a chance to sneak back home, while on

1403
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:27,239
your third cigarette to deal with the second anxiety attack.

1404
01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:30,520
Even though you previously quit smoking for over one year,

1405
01:13:30,880 --> 01:13:34,119
You come to a grand realization your co worker is

1406
01:13:34,239 --> 01:13:37,920
kind of a bee. Apologies for the awful experience, but

1407
01:13:38,079 --> 01:13:43,079
congratulations on the compelling narrative. I hope you don't mind,

1408
01:13:43,399 --> 01:13:47,119
but I couldn't find a babacitter and brought my kid. Yes,

1409
01:13:47,199 --> 01:13:50,760
I do mind. You could have rescheduled. This is supposed

1410
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:53,880
to be a date, not a future daddy test. Here's

1411
01:13:53,920 --> 01:13:55,600
some money for you and the kid to have a

1412
01:13:55,720 --> 01:13:56,319
nice dinner.

1413
01:13:56,640 --> 01:13:56,920
Speaker 2: Bye.

1414
01:13:57,520 --> 01:14:00,840
Speaker 1: Yes, also lying about having kids and know when you

1415
01:14:00,880 --> 01:14:04,680
are at her place when she gets too personal and

1416
01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:07,760
wants to know the street You all grew upon your

1417
01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:11,279
first dog's name, what your first car was where you

1418
01:14:11,319 --> 01:14:15,439
went to school, mother's maiden name, the three wacky numbers

1419
01:14:15,479 --> 01:14:19,600
on the back of your credit card, making comments to

1420
01:14:19,680 --> 01:14:22,520
imply that she wants a worshiper gift giver instead of

1421
01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:25,159
a partner. If you don't see her so as an equal,

1422
01:14:25,439 --> 01:14:26,359
it's a bad sign.

1423
01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,840
Speaker 2: Paypig. There are a few.

1424
01:14:30,159 --> 01:14:33,000
Speaker 1: One she never bothers to engage in smaller talk during

1425
01:14:33,039 --> 01:14:35,119
the date at all, and any attempt on your party

1426
01:14:35,199 --> 01:14:38,359
is only met with single word answers. Another would be

1427
01:14:38,359 --> 01:14:41,840
if she kept talking about her exit during the date. Lastly,

1428
01:14:42,239 --> 01:14:44,720
she answers her phone saying hey dad, this isn't a

1429
01:14:44,720 --> 01:14:47,239
good time. But you quickly notice the name on the

1430
01:14:47,279 --> 01:14:50,039
call display oddly matches the name of your own father,

1431
01:14:50,119 --> 01:14:55,199
who disappeared when you were little. Ask den lyoncest. She

1432
01:14:55,279 --> 01:14:57,840
will raise a big red flag if she treats strangers

1433
01:14:57,880 --> 01:15:00,760
like crab. You can tell a great deal about somebody

1434
01:15:00,760 --> 01:15:03,640
by how they treat people who have no material.

1435
01:15:03,239 --> 01:15:04,560
Speaker 2: Benefit to them.

1436
01:15:04,880 --> 01:15:08,600
Speaker 1: Super underrated observation. I actually have a go to business

1437
01:15:08,640 --> 01:15:11,840
restaurant bar where I know the staff very well. They

1438
01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:15,159
give me terms of info on how potential business associates

1439
01:15:15,199 --> 01:15:18,279
treated them, and it is about ninety percent predictive of

1440
01:15:18,359 --> 01:15:20,720
what they are truly like to deal with down the road,

1441
01:15:22,279 --> 01:15:25,479
automatically ordering the most expensive thing on the menu if

1442
01:15:25,520 --> 01:15:28,399
they are not splitting the bill, not treating weight staff

1443
01:15:28,479 --> 01:15:32,159
with respect, not trying to maintain eye contact while not

1444
01:15:32,279 --> 01:15:36,760
being socially awkward. This one is context dependent. Constant use

1445
01:15:36,800 --> 01:15:40,319
of their phone, grossly bashing their ex or talking at

1446
01:15:40,399 --> 01:15:43,560
length about them, not the normal O my ex was

1447
01:15:43,600 --> 01:15:46,960
a dong, but really going on about it, being generally

1448
01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:51,960
inconsiderate or arrogant, diverting conversation to talk overly about themselves,

1449
01:15:52,239 --> 01:15:55,560
even on topics, not about them, not showing any interest

1450
01:15:55,600 --> 01:15:58,239
in me as a person. My ex and I used

1451
01:15:58,319 --> 01:16:00,479
to split all our bills and we went on twice

1452
01:16:00,479 --> 01:16:03,279
as many dates. When every time you bring a girl

1453
01:16:03,319 --> 01:16:06,720
out is a financial burden, you start to resent spending

1454
01:16:06,760 --> 01:16:11,239
time with someone. If she starts playing on her phone,

1455
01:16:11,439 --> 01:16:14,880
that means I, Hey, she's just therefore a free meal.

1456
01:16:15,359 --> 01:16:20,159
B she's already dating someone. See she's not interested in you.

1457
01:16:20,760 --> 01:16:25,680
D All of the above, apart from all the usual ones,

1458
01:16:25,720 --> 01:16:28,000
I really know it's not going to work. If they

1459
01:16:28,039 --> 01:16:31,199
start complaining about having to walk a short way when together,

1460
01:16:31,560 --> 01:16:33,720
I get it if they're wearing heels. But if we

1461
01:16:33,800 --> 01:16:36,479
plan to go to a restaurant, walk around a bit,

1462
01:16:36,680 --> 01:16:38,880
and see a movie in two hundred meters into the

1463
01:16:38,920 --> 01:16:41,840
walking they start complaining, then it's just not going to

1464
01:16:41,960 --> 01:16:44,720
work out. I dated a girl once who would get

1465
01:16:44,760 --> 01:16:47,239
mad if I wouldn't circle around or wait until one

1466
01:16:47,239 --> 01:16:50,159
of the closest spots were open. Her dad would do

1467
01:16:50,199 --> 01:16:52,399
it all the time. I happen to be one of

1468
01:16:52,439 --> 01:16:55,119
those people who park as far away as possible so

1469
01:16:55,279 --> 01:16:58,520
my car doesn't get dinged by careless kids. It didn't

1470
01:16:58,600 --> 01:17:02,279
work well telling you write at the beginning of the

1471
01:17:02,399 --> 01:17:05,600
date how much he hates Martin Luther King Junior. Yeah,

1472
01:17:05,720 --> 01:17:09,640
that was awkward. Talking about how they want the man

1473
01:17:09,680 --> 01:17:12,119
who knows how to treat a lady, or checking out

1474
01:17:12,119 --> 01:17:15,239
other guys with their eyes while still actually talking to you,

1475
01:17:15,680 --> 01:17:18,479
or ridiculing things you said, or telling you their ex

1476
01:17:18,520 --> 01:17:21,000
boyfriend is a policeman and if anyone hurts me, he

1477
01:17:21,039 --> 01:17:23,399
will get them, or telling you they have a BF

1478
01:17:23,439 --> 01:17:25,640
but he's going to be in jail for six months,

1479
01:17:26,039 --> 01:17:29,479
or ordering as much expensive stuff as they can obviously

1480
01:17:29,560 --> 01:17:31,840
more than they can eat because they think a date

1481
01:17:31,960 --> 01:17:33,920
is a chance to burn a guy for as much

1482
01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:36,319
as they can get, or telling you about how their

1483
01:17:36,319 --> 01:17:39,840
ex was in buttle in fact, all their exes were buttholes,

1484
01:17:40,239 --> 01:17:43,319
or lying about their sprints or age before a blind date,

1485
01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:46,119
or some of the first questions they ask you are

1486
01:17:46,159 --> 01:17:48,600
how much do you earn, what car do you drive?

1487
01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:51,199
Speaker 2: Where do you live? Do you own or rent?

1488
01:17:51,520 --> 01:17:54,680
Speaker 1: Or telling you there last BF was was so generously

1489
01:17:54,760 --> 01:17:56,800
even brought you a house and gave it to you.

1490
01:17:57,319 --> 01:18:00,600
Nine Korean girl in China receiving more than a dozen

1491
01:18:00,640 --> 01:18:04,159
calls on her phone, mostly that sounded male while still

1492
01:18:04,159 --> 01:18:07,239
in the car on the way to the restaurant. Chinese girl,

1493
01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:10,760
I've already decided not to data again before we reached

1494
01:18:10,760 --> 01:18:15,199
the restaurant. These are all things I have personally experienced dating.

1495
01:18:15,880 --> 01:18:16,319
Speaker 2: Yikes.

1496
01:18:17,880 --> 01:18:20,840
Speaker 1: Came to this thread afraid i'd see something I'm inadvertently

1497
01:18:20,880 --> 01:18:22,920
doing as a red flag because I can be a

1498
01:18:22,920 --> 01:18:26,920
little socially awkward, leaving this thread feeling more normal than ever.

1499
01:18:27,279 --> 01:18:30,560
Holy crap, guys, I'm sorry you are meeting these women.

1500
01:18:31,079 --> 01:18:33,800
All I see here is a green flag. Trying to

1501
01:18:33,880 --> 01:18:37,079
make sure you aren't a bad personal trying to improve yourself.

1502
01:18:38,760 --> 01:18:42,359
There are some good ones here, like mistreating servers, making

1503
01:18:42,399 --> 01:18:44,560
it clear she sees you as a source of money

1504
01:18:44,560 --> 01:18:48,000
and expensive gifts, or carrying on about an X. I

1505
01:18:48,079 --> 01:18:50,720
don't want to just repeat what everyone else is saying.

1506
01:18:51,159 --> 01:18:53,399
So my red flag is anyone who seems to be

1507
01:18:53,479 --> 01:18:56,560
constantly on or have something they're trying to prove if

1508
01:18:56,600 --> 01:18:59,119
they can't just relax and stop trying to show what

1509
01:18:59,199 --> 01:19:01,279
an edge of lord vic him. Not like other girls

1510
01:19:01,399 --> 01:19:04,159
or whatever sort of character they're trying to convince you

1511
01:19:04,199 --> 01:19:06,840
they are, Being around them is going to drain you

1512
01:19:06,920 --> 01:19:09,520
every time. It's not even worth the peed. To me,

1513
01:19:09,880 --> 01:19:13,279
I like genuine, real people who aren't constantly putting on

1514
01:19:13,319 --> 01:19:17,039
some show. I want a man who treats me like

1515
01:19:17,079 --> 01:19:20,199
a queen, usually code for I want someone to live

1516
01:19:20,199 --> 01:19:23,119
and die for my happiness so I can be selfish forever,

1517
01:19:23,560 --> 01:19:27,479
no thanks. When you're dating a girl for a few

1518
01:19:27,520 --> 01:19:30,039
months who has a small appetite, but over time you've

1519
01:19:30,079 --> 01:19:32,600
realized her stomach is increasing in size.

1520
01:19:33,000 --> 01:19:33,880
Speaker 2: Finally you make.

1521
01:19:33,800 --> 01:19:36,319
Speaker 1: A joke and she breaks down crying, saying she was

1522
01:19:36,439 --> 01:19:40,560
raped and really loves needs you miss being nice and understanding.

1523
01:19:40,600 --> 01:19:42,800
You stay with her because you feel you can raise

1524
01:19:42,800 --> 01:19:45,479
a child and willing enough to do anything. It takes

1525
01:19:45,840 --> 01:19:47,880
until you bring it up to a mutual friend and

1526
01:19:47,920 --> 01:19:50,880
he refuses to look at you. You begin pestering him

1527
01:19:50,880 --> 01:19:53,239
about it until he spills the beans and reveals she

1528
01:19:53,359 --> 01:19:56,039
cheated on you in the beginning of the relationship because

1529
01:19:56,039 --> 01:19:58,439
she thought you guys wouldn't last long, and she is

1530
01:19:58,479 --> 01:20:00,720
going to use a baby as leave bridge to keep

1531
01:20:00,760 --> 01:20:03,720
both of you together and use you for life. You

1532
01:20:03,840 --> 01:20:06,279
get to her house, tell her everything you know, and

1533
01:20:06,359 --> 01:20:09,199
all she can say is who told you. In the end,

1534
01:20:09,239 --> 01:20:12,119
you leave her and all of her friends, questioning your

1535
01:20:12,279 --> 01:20:15,479
entire existence. The next year, you meet a wonderful girl

1536
01:20:15,520 --> 01:20:18,600
by chance, and have now been going strong for two years.

1537
01:20:19,199 --> 01:20:22,880
That's a really long first date. In all seriousness, though,

1538
01:20:23,199 --> 01:20:25,720
that's a terrible ordeal, and it sounds like it's really

1539
01:20:25,760 --> 01:20:29,319
affected you. Counseling therapy might not be a bad idea

1540
01:20:29,319 --> 01:20:34,600
of theirs lingering bitterness. I was expecting subtle hints coming here,

1541
01:20:34,800 --> 01:20:38,279
but instead I feel fortunate I've apparently managed to avoid

1542
01:20:38,319 --> 01:20:42,920
absolute train wrecks. A few weeks into dating my first

1543
01:20:42,920 --> 01:20:46,840
real girlfriend, things started to turn weird. She started telling

1544
01:20:46,880 --> 01:20:49,279
me that she was hanging out at an old friend's place,

1545
01:20:49,319 --> 01:20:51,880
but one of his buddies was hitting on her hardcore.

1546
01:20:52,199 --> 01:20:54,439
I told her to just walk away, but she kept

1547
01:20:54,439 --> 01:20:56,720
making up excuses that they were all in a room

1548
01:20:56,720 --> 01:20:59,399
together and she couldn't leave. I told her to tell

1549
01:20:59,479 --> 01:21:01,640
him she had a boyfriend who wants him to back off,

1550
01:21:01,680 --> 01:21:04,560
and she told me. He started threatening me. She kept

1551
01:21:04,640 --> 01:21:06,680
asking me what I wanted to say to him, but

1552
01:21:06,800 --> 01:21:09,119
I just sort of brushed it all off because this

1553
01:21:09,279 --> 01:21:12,039
was a conversation through a third party with someone I

1554
01:21:12,079 --> 01:21:15,880
had never met before. Situations like this kept popping up.

1555
01:21:16,239 --> 01:21:18,239
She would tell me she was a roundsome guy who

1556
01:21:18,279 --> 01:21:21,680
was being aggressive towards her, trying to get me to react.

1557
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:24,680
I kept trying to act tough to these random people

1558
01:21:25,079 --> 01:21:29,159
fifteen years old, but really I was just confused. After

1559
01:21:29,199 --> 01:21:32,159
about a month of dating, she tells me that best

1560
01:21:32,159 --> 01:21:34,880
friend's boyfriend texted her and said that he loves her

1561
01:21:34,880 --> 01:21:37,479
and that they should run away together. We all went

1562
01:21:37,520 --> 01:21:39,600
to the same high school, so I don't really know

1563
01:21:39,680 --> 01:21:42,560
where they plan to run to. She was relaying all

1564
01:21:42,600 --> 01:21:44,680
of this to me, and I started to question it.

1565
01:21:44,960 --> 01:21:46,920
He was such a nice guy. Why would he want

1566
01:21:46,960 --> 01:21:50,319
to break off his relationship? Why is this conversation, even

1567
01:21:50,399 --> 01:21:53,800
continuing why is he persisting? Have you told him you're

1568
01:21:53,840 --> 01:21:56,560
not interested? Shouldn't you be able to easily.

1569
01:21:56,239 --> 01:21:57,000
Speaker 2: Shut this down?

1570
01:21:57,439 --> 01:21:59,960
Speaker 1: She gets frustrated that I'm not playing into her hand,

1571
01:22:00,039 --> 01:22:02,479
and so she calls me and decides to escalate it

1572
01:22:02,520 --> 01:22:05,359
to well, I'm kind of considering it. That was obviously

1573
01:22:05,439 --> 01:22:08,600
the breaking point in a very easy response, really, well,

1574
01:22:08,640 --> 01:22:11,920
then we should break up. She flips her opinion really quickly.

1575
01:22:12,199 --> 01:22:15,479
I didn't mean it. I was crazy. I'm sorry. I

1576
01:22:15,520 --> 01:22:18,800
don't even like him. I'm proud of fifteen year old

1577
01:22:18,880 --> 01:22:22,399
me for sticking up for myself and completely cutting contact.

1578
01:22:22,640 --> 01:22:26,079
It turns out, which is pretty obvious in hindsight, that

1579
01:22:26,239 --> 01:22:28,760
she just loved guys getting jealous over her and was

1580
01:22:28,840 --> 01:22:31,800
lying the entire time to get me going. In every

1581
01:22:31,880 --> 01:22:34,399
relationship I've had since, I've kept anan out for the

1582
01:22:34,479 --> 01:22:37,479
every guy I talked to, his interme red flag you

1583
01:22:37,520 --> 01:22:42,239
are a champ. I had similar experience at seventeen. Unfortunately

1584
01:22:42,319 --> 01:22:46,840
I was far more naive than bringing up crazy things

1585
01:22:46,880 --> 01:22:50,159
she did to guys in past relationships. It doesn't make

1586
01:22:50,239 --> 01:22:52,880
me think you're savage or cool. It makes me think

1587
01:22:52,920 --> 01:22:56,960
that's going to happen to me. I opened the restaurant

1588
01:22:57,000 --> 01:22:59,279
door for her, and she told me, I don't need

1589
01:22:59,319 --> 01:23:02,000
a fricking man to open my door. I walked hert

1590
01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:04,600
to the table, I gave her twenty dollars for a

1591
01:23:04,640 --> 01:23:07,399
cab ride home and walked out. I would have just

1592
01:23:07,479 --> 01:23:10,720
bailed frick the cab money. You're a better man than

1593
01:23:10,760 --> 01:23:14,720
me when they ask you to pay for something for them,

1594
01:23:15,119 --> 01:23:17,159
or suggest that you do it for the next time

1595
01:23:17,520 --> 01:23:19,840
went out with a girl for a really bad date,

1596
01:23:20,159 --> 01:23:24,000
there was almost zero chemistry between us. Things got slightly

1597
01:23:24,039 --> 01:23:27,039
better as the date progressed, but I still wouldn't even

1598
01:23:27,159 --> 01:23:29,279
say it was in my top one hundred dates, and

1599
01:23:29,359 --> 01:23:31,880
I don't think I've ever had that minute. I offered

1600
01:23:31,960 --> 01:23:34,399
to drop her off on our way out, and she agrees.

1601
01:23:34,800 --> 01:23:36,920
On the way to her place, we saw that for

1602
01:23:37,000 --> 01:23:39,840
The Incredibles too, and to strike up a conversation, I

1603
01:23:39,880 --> 01:23:43,079
asked her if she liked those films. She said she did,

1604
01:23:43,399 --> 01:23:45,479
and then said that we should go see it next

1605
01:23:45,520 --> 01:23:48,000
time we go out. Then she added, but you'll pay

1606
01:23:48,039 --> 01:23:51,279
for my ticket, right Ale Laughton didn't say anything because

1607
01:23:51,319 --> 01:23:53,359
I assumed she was joking, and she said with a

1608
01:23:53,399 --> 01:23:56,279
serious tone, don't be cheap. You got a nice car.

1609
01:23:56,479 --> 01:23:59,159
It's clear you make good money. You can afford to

1610
01:23:59,199 --> 01:24:01,760
pay for my ticket. She was out of my sights

1611
01:24:01,800 --> 01:24:05,319
the second she said that. I just laughed again and said, sure,

1612
01:24:05,640 --> 01:24:08,079
we can do that. I dropped her off and never

1613
01:24:08,199 --> 01:24:09,359
contacted her again.

1614
01:24:11,000 --> 01:24:11,840
Speaker 2: For my husband.

1615
01:24:12,239 --> 01:24:14,720
Speaker 1: Tell them to read this in the most redneck hick

1616
01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:17,680
voice possible. When a girl who looks like someone just

1617
01:24:17,760 --> 01:24:20,880
pee in her oatmeal keeps calling angry orchard green orchid,

1618
01:24:21,159 --> 01:24:23,840
gets mad at the bartender by saying I done got

1619
01:24:23,880 --> 01:24:26,520
one of these last week. It was a green orchid,

1620
01:24:26,560 --> 01:24:29,159
and then turns to you and says one offist me Later,

1621
01:24:29,600 --> 01:24:33,119
I also like anal personally, I disagree with my husband

1622
01:24:33,119 --> 01:24:35,560
and believe this is a magnetic and appropriate way to

1623
01:24:35,640 --> 01:24:38,760
exert one's dominance. And now he's telling me about her

1624
01:24:38,800 --> 01:24:42,079
claim to be from a parallel universe that her pastor.

1625
01:24:41,720 --> 01:24:45,039
Speaker 2: Explain to her. But never mind shut it down.

1626
01:24:46,680 --> 01:24:48,560
Speaker 1: I went on a date with a girl who ordered

1627
01:24:48,560 --> 01:24:50,960
a steak and a cheesecake and then proceeded to eat

1628
01:24:51,000 --> 01:24:54,119
them at the same time, like in the same bite. Look,

1629
01:24:54,159 --> 01:24:57,000
I get weird food combinations, but if you're going to

1630
01:24:57,039 --> 01:24:59,960
make that combination on the first date. There's a strong child,

1631
01:25:00,199 --> 01:25:04,000
you have some bodies under your floorboards. That almost sounds good.

1632
01:25:04,359 --> 01:25:08,439
Might have to try that. Not a first date. But

1633
01:25:08,600 --> 01:25:11,239
my ex broke up with me because I wasn't putting

1634
01:25:11,319 --> 01:25:14,119
enough into the relationship. I didn't buy her a four

1635
01:25:14,199 --> 01:25:17,640
month anniversary present, then beg to get back together with

1636
01:25:17,680 --> 01:25:21,079
me and continue to complain that I didn't buy her things.

1637
01:25:21,439 --> 01:25:24,960
Excuse me, lady, but I just found out my cat

1638
01:25:25,039 --> 01:25:28,000
is ill and need to pay for her meds present.

1639
01:25:28,159 --> 01:25:28,680
Speaker 2: Can wait?

1640
01:25:29,079 --> 01:25:33,520
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that relationship is over. I remember a

1641
01:25:33,600 --> 01:25:36,600
very long time ago when I was like nineteen yo.

1642
01:25:36,680 --> 01:25:39,399
I'm forty four now. I met this chick who was

1643
01:25:39,479 --> 01:25:43,119
working at a store fifties that I was transferred to

1644
01:25:43,159 --> 01:25:45,680
four a week to help them out from a neighboring city.

1645
01:25:45,960 --> 01:25:48,600
I was working for the same store. We hit it

1646
01:25:48,640 --> 01:25:51,279
off while we were working that night, and long story short,

1647
01:25:51,359 --> 01:25:55,039
went out after work to her restaurant, Coco's. While we

1648
01:25:55,039 --> 01:25:57,479
were eating, some doode walks up to our table and

1649
01:25:57,520 --> 01:25:59,720
starts to ask her why she didn't pick up their

1650
01:25:59,760 --> 01:26:02,399
kis since it was her turn to watch him. They

1651
01:26:02,479 --> 01:26:05,000
stopped yelling at each other right there at the restaurant.

1652
01:26:05,319 --> 01:26:08,279
Then the guy leaves, grabs their kid from his car

1653
01:26:08,520 --> 01:26:11,399
I'm assuming it was his car I actually don't know,

1654
01:26:11,760 --> 01:26:14,000
and plops him next to her in the booth while

1655
01:26:14,039 --> 01:26:16,720
we were eating and left. I was polite and finished

1656
01:26:16,760 --> 01:26:18,920
the meal and then said I had to go home.

1657
01:26:19,279 --> 01:26:20,279
Speaker 2: It was so awkward.

1658
01:26:20,680 --> 01:26:22,760
Speaker 1: The next day, I had to go into work at

1659
01:26:22,800 --> 01:26:25,319
that same store, but she wasn't working that day, so

1660
01:26:25,439 --> 01:26:28,119
I didn't see her. I ended up working one more

1661
01:26:28,199 --> 01:26:30,560
day after that and still didn't see her, so I

1662
01:26:30,640 --> 01:26:33,680
went back to my store after that and didn't contact her.

1663
01:26:33,920 --> 01:26:36,159
One week goes by, and she ends up calling me

1664
01:26:36,199 --> 01:26:39,199
at work since cell phones were not a thing back then,

1665
01:26:39,479 --> 01:26:41,920
and begs me to have breakfast with her so she

1666
01:26:42,039 --> 01:26:45,079
can explain things. I have no idea why, but I

1667
01:26:45,239 --> 01:26:47,840
ended up saying yes and met her the following Saturday

1668
01:26:47,840 --> 01:26:50,680
in her city at some breakfast place. I show up

1669
01:26:50,680 --> 01:26:52,720
at the restaurant and she is sitting there with her

1670
01:26:52,720 --> 01:26:56,199
mother and grandmother. The girl then begins to apologize to

1671
01:26:56,279 --> 01:26:59,079
me for what happened. She's crying and begging me for

1672
01:26:59,119 --> 01:27:02,039
a second chance, while at the same time her mother

1673
01:27:02,119 --> 01:27:04,479
and grandmother were begging me to give her a second

1674
01:27:04,560 --> 01:27:07,199
chance Toto be t w I have never met before,

1675
01:27:07,199 --> 01:27:10,319
and I literally just met her. I can't remember the

1676
01:27:10,399 --> 01:27:13,439
exact details of what happened at the end of that breakfast,

1677
01:27:13,479 --> 01:27:16,079
but I never saw her again. I thought I was

1678
01:27:16,119 --> 01:27:19,159
in the twilight zone. Still to this day, I always

1679
01:27:19,199 --> 01:27:21,600
wondered how that dude knew we were at the restaurant,

1680
01:27:21,680 --> 01:27:25,920
since no one had sell phones back then. She asked

1681
01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:28,439
me to take her shopping on our second date. I

1682
01:27:28,560 --> 01:27:31,560
have my dad drop us off. Didn't have my license

1683
01:27:31,560 --> 01:27:35,560
at the time, age fifteen, so anyways, she takes me

1684
01:27:35,640 --> 01:27:38,520
to Victoria Secret at a shop for clothes and stuff.

1685
01:27:38,840 --> 01:27:40,920
About an hour later and a half late. If she

1686
01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:43,239
thinks she has enough things and asks me to help

1687
01:27:43,279 --> 01:27:45,399
take her things to go check out at the counter.

1688
01:27:45,760 --> 01:27:47,920
I grab the rest of her things and take them

1689
01:27:47,920 --> 01:27:50,560
over to the counter to pay. That's when she just

1690
01:27:50,720 --> 01:27:53,760
kind of stands there and acts like I'm gonna pay.

1691
01:27:54,119 --> 01:27:56,960
I said something like, Happa, this is gonna be expensive.

1692
01:27:57,319 --> 01:27:59,239
Where do you work? And she says something like, what

1693
01:27:59,399 --> 01:28:01,840
do you mean? I thought you were helping me out

1694
01:28:01,840 --> 01:28:04,880
with this. I kinda just asked if she was joking,

1695
01:28:04,880 --> 01:28:08,520
and when she confirmed multiple times that she wasn't. She claimed,

1696
01:28:08,520 --> 01:28:11,079
it's not okay to make the lady in a relationship

1697
01:28:11,119 --> 01:28:14,439
happy or some bulls comma. First of all, we went

1698
01:28:14,520 --> 01:28:18,119
on one day dish movies and now today this is

1699
01:28:18,199 --> 01:28:22,319
not a relationship comma. Second of all, I'm fifteen. I

1700
01:28:22,399 --> 01:28:25,039
don't have one hundred and fifty dollars to waste on

1701
01:28:25,119 --> 01:28:27,920
clothes for someone I've spent all of maybe six hours

1702
01:28:27,960 --> 01:28:31,359
of my life on. I keep refusing to pay, mostly

1703
01:28:31,399 --> 01:28:33,479
saying that I don't have the money to pay in

1704
01:28:33,520 --> 01:28:36,920
the first place, even if I wanted to. She calls

1705
01:28:36,920 --> 01:28:39,000
her dad and has him pick her up instead of

1706
01:28:39,079 --> 01:28:42,600
waiting for mine, praying my date next weekend doesn't go

1707
01:28:42,760 --> 01:28:45,600
the next way. I've only dated two people before, and

1708
01:28:45,720 --> 01:28:48,239
she was the first. I don't think this girl is

1709
01:28:48,279 --> 01:28:50,479
the same way as the last at all, though, so

1710
01:28:50,640 --> 01:28:55,000
I think we'll work out. Once started dating this gal

1711
01:28:55,039 --> 01:28:57,199
who shared everything with me, from her dog that she

1712
01:28:57,279 --> 01:28:59,239
had to take care of for the last year and

1713
01:28:59,279 --> 01:29:02,239
a half because he was dying, to the sexual trauma

1714
01:29:02,279 --> 01:29:05,000
that she had been through, to her birth control that

1715
01:29:05,199 --> 01:29:08,319
was suffering side effects from, to how much it's going

1716
01:29:08,359 --> 01:29:11,520
to cost to fix her car. Nothing positive was being

1717
01:29:11,600 --> 01:29:14,079
shared and all the bad stuff she was kind of

1718
01:29:14,079 --> 01:29:17,039
brushing over like it still wasn't the worst she'd been through.

1719
01:29:17,279 --> 01:29:19,680
I had to go because I'm a bleeding heart, and

1720
01:29:19,760 --> 01:29:22,000
even I couldn't help but want to try to fix

1721
01:29:22,039 --> 01:29:24,880
her problems, but I had enough problems of my own

1722
01:29:24,920 --> 01:29:29,800
to deal with. That is married, gets drunk before telling you,

1723
01:29:29,880 --> 01:29:32,279
and during the dinner date, orders a second dinner to go.

1724
01:29:32,720 --> 01:29:36,399
I told her she is paying for the meal. Went

1725
01:29:36,439 --> 01:29:38,600
on a date. Whether girl I met or not, coup it.

1726
01:29:38,960 --> 01:29:41,119
I picked her up since she didn't have a car,

1727
01:29:41,439 --> 01:29:43,960
it was forty minutes to get to her place. She

1728
01:29:44,119 --> 01:29:46,399
wasn't in a thing that she looked like in her pictures,

1729
01:29:46,399 --> 01:29:49,079
and she is very much not my type, but I figured,

1730
01:29:49,119 --> 01:29:51,199
you know what, I'll give her a chance.

1731
01:29:51,479 --> 01:29:52,119
Speaker 2: Who knows.

1732
01:29:52,520 --> 01:29:54,960
Speaker 1: She suggests that we go to Dennis because it had

1733
01:29:54,960 --> 01:29:59,079
the best breakfast definitely doesn't beat w We sit down

1734
01:29:59,119 --> 01:30:02,319
and try and have conversation. But here are the topics

1735
01:30:02,359 --> 01:30:05,800
she wants to talk about. Dang, our server is so hot.

1736
01:30:06,079 --> 01:30:09,359
I love girls with big asses. X to this happened.

1737
01:30:09,640 --> 01:30:12,079
I went on a date with the submissive guy before you,

1738
01:30:12,119 --> 01:30:14,680
and he was so cute. You're like wareinto me and

1739
01:30:14,800 --> 01:30:17,680
I just didn't feel the same. You know, isn't it

1740
01:30:17,720 --> 01:30:20,560
weird how many black people are here? She was black,

1741
01:30:20,920 --> 01:30:24,159
I'm white. Well, check comes on a single piece of

1742
01:30:24,279 --> 01:30:26,720
paper and she asks how much is it? So I

1743
01:30:26,840 --> 01:30:29,319
show her the receipt and she proceeds to go into

1744
01:30:29,319 --> 01:30:32,399
her purse to get money out. Now, look, my view is,

1745
01:30:32,439 --> 01:30:35,000
if I ask you to the date, i'll pay if

1746
01:30:35,039 --> 01:30:37,720
you want to pay for yourself. I have great respect

1747
01:30:37,800 --> 01:30:41,159
for you. However, I feel that on the few occasions

1748
01:30:41,199 --> 01:30:43,600
that I do pay for you, it makes it more

1749
01:30:43,680 --> 01:30:47,239
meaningful since you weren't expecting it. So she's at the

1750
01:30:47,239 --> 01:30:50,439
point where she's just pulling out change, and I'm thinking,

1751
01:30:50,520 --> 01:30:54,039
you know what, it's only like twenty dollars. I'll pay

1752
01:30:54,079 --> 01:30:57,000
for her, even though I really didn't enjoy this date.

1753
01:30:57,439 --> 01:30:59,680
I tell her I can pay for you, it's no

1754
01:30:59,680 --> 01:31:03,359
big deal, but she's insistent on paying her share. I

1755
01:31:03,439 --> 01:31:06,720
literally cannot convince her to save her own money. So

1756
01:31:06,760 --> 01:31:08,680
we get up to the counter to pay, and she

1757
01:31:08,760 --> 01:31:12,399
seems apathetic, no longer interested in talking to me. So

1758
01:31:12,560 --> 01:31:15,239
once we get out of Denny's, I ask, hey, are

1759
01:31:15,279 --> 01:31:18,760
you all right? You seem indifferent, she says, Yet it's

1760
01:31:18,920 --> 01:31:21,520
just how I hate the rain. It wasn't even raining

1761
01:31:21,960 --> 01:31:24,760
driving nowhere? Really and I ask what she wants to do.

1762
01:31:25,119 --> 01:31:28,239
She still looks blank and says, not really anything, just

1763
01:31:28,359 --> 01:31:30,760
want to go home. I want to keep hanging with

1764
01:31:30,800 --> 01:31:32,800
her to see if I can make her feel better,

1765
01:31:33,159 --> 01:31:35,560
so I throw out ideas like going to them all

1766
01:31:35,920 --> 01:31:39,720
movies bowling. She says, note to all, just wants to

1767
01:31:39,760 --> 01:31:43,119
go home. Okay, here is the major red flag. I'm

1768
01:31:43,199 --> 01:31:46,239
driving her home and about three four minutes of dead silence,

1769
01:31:46,239 --> 01:31:49,199
she says, okay, So I'm going to be honest with you.

1770
01:31:49,600 --> 01:31:52,000
The reason why I'm upset is because you made me

1771
01:31:52,079 --> 01:31:55,399
pay for myself. What I explained that she was giving

1772
01:31:55,439 --> 01:31:57,520
me signs of not wanting me to pay for her,

1773
01:31:57,560 --> 01:32:00,800
and I respected her decision to pay for herself. Then

1774
01:32:00,840 --> 01:32:03,479
she rambles on about her unfair she's treated, and I'm

1775
01:32:03,600 --> 01:32:06,359
just giving her the silent treatment. We get to her

1776
01:32:06,399 --> 01:32:08,840
house and I crap you not. She looks at me

1777
01:32:08,920 --> 01:32:11,359
and says, so, do you want to come inside for

1778
01:32:11,399 --> 01:32:13,439
a while. I did, but look at her and say

1779
01:32:13,479 --> 01:32:17,399
I'm sorry, but no. She walks off inside. I drive

1780
01:32:17,520 --> 01:32:21,920
home and she's blocked me. It was my first date. Ever,

1781
01:32:22,199 --> 01:32:24,000
we were in a bar that was having a cover

1782
01:32:24,079 --> 01:32:26,520
band event. She went to get some drinks as I

1783
01:32:26,640 --> 01:32:29,079
kept the table and comes back chatting to a guy

1784
01:32:29,439 --> 01:32:31,960
seems to be her friend, but after talking to him

1785
01:32:31,960 --> 01:32:35,039
for a while, it was her boyfriend that was just

1786
01:32:35,159 --> 01:32:37,800
back from a trip. He even had his travel bag

1787
01:32:37,880 --> 01:32:40,640
with him. He was such a great guy. We even

1788
01:32:40,720 --> 01:32:43,359
maintained contact for a while, and after they broke up,

1789
01:32:43,560 --> 01:32:47,560
I told him about that day late to the party,

1790
01:32:47,600 --> 01:32:50,359
but he goes. I messaged a girl a couple of

1791
01:32:50,479 --> 01:32:52,880
times on a dating up and never heard from her again,

1792
01:32:53,000 --> 01:32:55,239
so I thought that was the end of it. About

1793
01:32:55,279 --> 01:32:59,199
two weeks later, she randomly answers saying sorry for not responding,

1794
01:32:59,239 --> 01:33:01,520
but she was in a car crash and blah blah

1795
01:33:01,760 --> 01:33:04,680
even sent me a picture of a crashed car. This

1796
01:33:04,720 --> 01:33:07,680
set off some alarms, but I figure, frick it. So

1797
01:33:07,720 --> 01:33:09,720
we chatted a bit and she wanted to meet up

1798
01:33:09,760 --> 01:33:12,279
to smoke somewed and she was cute, so I figured

1799
01:33:12,279 --> 01:33:14,760
why not. I arrive at her place and she gets

1800
01:33:14,760 --> 01:33:17,159
in the car muttering something about her room and taking

1801
01:33:17,159 --> 01:33:19,479
a poop in the toilet and having a conversation with

1802
01:33:19,560 --> 01:33:22,680
her wilsh Cinda shower who As we are driving to

1803
01:33:22,760 --> 01:33:25,600
her spot to smoke, she starts telling me about the

1804
01:33:25,640 --> 01:33:27,800
car crash and how it was a drunk driver that

1805
01:33:27,880 --> 01:33:30,000
hit her, and how my dad is a Hell's Angel,

1806
01:33:30,039 --> 01:33:32,000
so he'll just get my dad and his body is

1807
01:33:32,079 --> 01:33:34,680
to pay him a visit. Excuse me, was all I said,

1808
01:33:34,680 --> 01:33:37,680
and she repeated what she just said, this time implying

1809
01:33:37,720 --> 01:33:39,800
some broken bones would be made and that she might

1810
01:33:39,880 --> 01:33:42,279
even get her dad's Hell's Angel law to sue him

1811
01:33:42,279 --> 01:33:45,279
as well. Now at this point, we have started smoking,

1812
01:33:45,359 --> 01:33:47,600
so I was wondering if I was hearing her right,

1813
01:33:48,000 --> 01:33:50,600
So I asked a Hell's Angel lawyer and she fricking

1814
01:33:50,640 --> 01:33:53,920
snapped back, that's what I just said. So, needless to say,

1815
01:33:53,960 --> 01:33:56,279
she was freaking me out major by this time, and

1816
01:33:56,359 --> 01:33:59,199
I kept looking in my rear view mirror, half expecting

1817
01:33:59,199 --> 01:34:01,439
to see her dad on his bike swinging a chain

1818
01:34:01,479 --> 01:34:04,840
above his head, but nothing. She said some other crazy

1819
01:34:04,880 --> 01:34:07,399
crap about working for jobs and that all of them

1820
01:34:07,439 --> 01:34:09,319
were linked to the Hell's Angels.

1821
01:34:08,920 --> 01:34:09,439
Speaker 2: In some way.

1822
01:34:09,520 --> 01:34:12,239
Speaker 1: So, after about forty minutes of smoke and hearing all

1823
01:34:12,279 --> 01:34:15,640
her Hull's Angels stories, I politely took her home and

1824
01:34:15,760 --> 01:34:18,199
my excuse was I had to be up early. I

1825
01:34:18,279 --> 01:34:20,319
dropped her off and said, it was nice meeting you

1826
01:34:20,399 --> 01:34:22,800
with a smile and a wave. I cannot tell you

1827
01:34:22,840 --> 01:34:25,720
how happy I was after I drove off. In fact,

1828
01:34:25,760 --> 01:34:27,960
I was so happy to be away from the potential

1829
01:34:28,039 --> 01:34:31,119
biker gang daughter that I started laughing my book off,

1830
01:34:31,439 --> 01:34:35,199
full on maniacal laughter, just pure joy, kind love laughing.

1831
01:34:35,560 --> 01:34:38,479
He'll never forget how happy that laugh was. Knowing I

1832
01:34:38,640 --> 01:34:40,720
was going home to just my cat and not some

1833
01:34:40,840 --> 01:34:44,640
crazy biker chak made me really appreciate being single for

1834
01:34:44,720 --> 01:34:45,239
a while.

1835
01:34:45,600 --> 01:34:46,319
Speaker 2: Sweet lord.

1836
01:34:47,760 --> 01:34:51,199
Speaker 1: People who have visited the US, what is your WTF

1837
01:34:51,199 --> 01:34:54,560
America story? I'm Canadian and I went down to the

1838
01:34:54,680 --> 01:34:57,760
US to do a little shopping. I accidentally pulled out

1839
01:34:57,800 --> 01:35:00,720
some Canadian bills in the cashier asked why I kept

1840
01:35:00,760 --> 01:35:03,720
Monopoly money in my wallet. A lot of people might

1841
01:35:03,800 --> 01:35:07,159
say it was just sarcasm. I don't think it was that.

1842
01:35:07,279 --> 01:35:10,800
Cashi looked around sixteen years old. She had probably never

1843
01:35:10,840 --> 01:35:15,039
seen Canadian money before. When I started awkwardly chuttling, she

1844
01:35:15,159 --> 01:35:17,880
had a puzzled look on her face. But who knows,

1845
01:35:18,159 --> 01:35:21,199
maybe she was just really invested in a joke. As

1846
01:35:21,199 --> 01:35:23,399
a Michigan deur. It is always common to pay with

1847
01:35:23,520 --> 01:35:27,520
accidental Canadian and to receive the accidental Canadian currency. It

1848
01:35:27,560 --> 01:35:31,960
pisses me off when I didn't pay attention those gaps

1849
01:35:32,039 --> 01:35:35,159
in your toilet stall doors? What are they even for?

1850
01:35:35,560 --> 01:35:38,199
To clarify, I meant the gaps in the sides of

1851
01:35:38,239 --> 01:35:43,600
the door, not the bottom. Peeking I visited from Canada

1852
01:35:43,640 --> 01:35:46,960
a couple years ago. Everyone was very nice and had

1853
01:35:47,000 --> 01:35:50,439
the exact same mildly interested reaction to her credit.

1854
01:35:50,119 --> 01:35:51,239
Speaker 2: Card with a chip.

1855
01:35:51,439 --> 01:35:54,600
Speaker 1: We finally started transitioning to these in the last year

1856
01:35:54,720 --> 01:35:59,079
or year and a half. We're a bit behind. After

1857
01:35:59,159 --> 01:36:02,720
moving from Africa as a teen, I am repeatedly asked

1858
01:36:02,760 --> 01:36:05,439
why I moved to Africa in the first place, to

1859
01:36:05,520 --> 01:36:08,279
which I replied that I've always lived there. I am

1860
01:36:08,359 --> 01:36:11,279
also asked, so why are you white, to which I reply,

1861
01:36:11,720 --> 01:36:15,159
oh my god, Karen, you can't just ask people why

1862
01:36:15,159 --> 01:36:18,199
they're white. However, when they reply with blank stairs, I

1863
01:36:18,319 --> 01:36:22,720
realize they aren't referencing mean girls. Some other questions. Comma,

1864
01:36:22,800 --> 01:36:25,560
so Africa is one country and all the borderlines are

1865
01:36:26,079 --> 01:36:30,560
like states. Commie, are there you know buildings? Comma, you

1866
01:36:30,600 --> 01:36:34,119
guys have memes over there, right, commic, Are you Australian?

1867
01:36:35,680 --> 01:36:38,960
Australian here? I went to Houston last year and spoke

1868
01:36:39,000 --> 01:36:41,319
to a girl my age in the airport. We got

1869
01:36:41,359 --> 01:36:44,680
chatting about UNI College. It was around July, and she

1870
01:36:44,800 --> 01:36:47,479
asked me if I was on my summer vacation. I

1871
01:36:47,640 --> 01:36:50,760
casually explained I was on my winter break. She was

1872
01:36:50,840 --> 01:36:53,840
genuinely confused and did not understand how it was somewhere

1873
01:36:53,840 --> 01:36:56,720
in the US but winter in Australia. I tried to

1874
01:36:56,800 --> 01:37:00,720
explain that eventually gave up. An American once complimented me

1875
01:37:00,760 --> 01:37:03,000
on my excellent English when I told her I was

1876
01:37:03,039 --> 01:37:03,880
from Australia.

1877
01:37:05,439 --> 01:37:06,079
Speaker 2: Ozzie here.

1878
01:37:06,319 --> 01:37:09,079
Speaker 1: When I started chatting to a cashier, she squealed and

1879
01:37:09,159 --> 01:37:12,199
asked where I was from. I told her Australia, and

1880
01:37:12,279 --> 01:37:16,720
she instantly dumped down how she spoke. Do you'll speak

1881
01:37:16,960 --> 01:37:22,039
English down there? I replied sporadically. She laughed and informed

1882
01:37:22,079 --> 01:37:26,159
me that wasn't a word Singaporean here. I feel your pain.

1883
01:37:26,560 --> 01:37:30,680
You speak really good English foreign Asian. When I went

1884
01:37:30,720 --> 01:37:33,399
to the US the first time and ordered a meal

1885
01:37:33,439 --> 01:37:37,760
from Burger King, ordering a large fry, coke and a whopper,

1886
01:37:38,079 --> 01:37:40,359
I was blown away by the size of it all,

1887
01:37:40,560 --> 01:37:43,439
each item was larger than the same item back home.

1888
01:37:43,760 --> 01:37:47,359
I was already like wtf, but then the cashier said

1889
01:37:47,399 --> 01:37:50,119
I could have a second whopper for one dollar. Again

1890
01:37:50,520 --> 01:37:54,920
I was like, wtf. Signed me up. Another time, while

1891
01:37:54,960 --> 01:37:57,600
I was in Daytona, I went to a restaurant and

1892
01:37:57,640 --> 01:38:01,399
the woman kept refilling my drink again and again. It

1893
01:38:01,479 --> 01:38:03,800
Being a bit shy, I did not tell her to

1894
01:38:03,840 --> 01:38:07,239
stop and expected a bill with fifteen dollars for sodas.

1895
01:38:07,479 --> 01:38:10,880
But then I found out the raffills were free. Wtf

1896
01:38:11,279 --> 01:38:14,800
free raffills. I'd only seen that at places like Subway,

1897
01:38:15,119 --> 01:38:18,560
but so many restaurants in the US had free raffills.

1898
01:38:18,840 --> 01:38:22,279
I love the US for restaurants and food in general.

1899
01:38:22,560 --> 01:38:27,920
The portions are massive and very reasonably priced. Whent to Walmart.

1900
01:38:28,279 --> 01:38:31,359
The fabled creatures there are just as the Internet portrays

1901
01:38:31,439 --> 01:38:35,680
them as, nonetheless still mind blowing. My first trip into

1902
01:38:35,680 --> 01:38:38,319
a Walmart, I saw man in a brass button blazer

1903
01:38:38,319 --> 01:38:42,399
with perfectly brill creamed hair, sparkling white teeth, orange skin,

1904
01:38:42,479 --> 01:38:44,920
and white slacks that looked like he had stepped right

1905
01:38:45,000 --> 01:38:47,239
out of an advert from the nineteen fifties.

1906
01:38:47,600 --> 01:38:48,680
Speaker 2: He was with a very.

1907
01:38:48,600 --> 01:38:51,520
Speaker 1: Large woman, wearing an eye love my Gay Daughter t shirt.

1908
01:38:51,880 --> 01:38:56,359
I was so happy how spread out everything is like,

1909
01:38:56,720 --> 01:38:59,760
it's pretty much impossible for me to survive without a car,

1910
01:39:00,039 --> 01:39:02,640
while everywhere I needed to go on a regular basis

1911
01:39:02,680 --> 01:39:05,359
back in London was in a ten minute biking distance.

1912
01:39:05,760 --> 01:39:09,199
Also the number of pickup trucks people owned without needing.

1913
01:39:09,479 --> 01:39:11,840
It has come to my attention that the city I'll

1914
01:39:11,880 --> 01:39:15,800
live in, Jacksonville, Florida, is the widest city in the

1915
01:39:15,840 --> 01:39:19,359
forty eight contiguous states of the US, with the population

1916
01:39:19,479 --> 01:39:23,479
of just under one million. That explains a lot, especially

1917
01:39:23,560 --> 01:39:26,239
out here in the west. The metro area Isle live

1918
01:39:26,279 --> 01:39:29,520
in is like eight percent the size of London population wise,

1919
01:39:29,920 --> 01:39:32,439
but it'll take you forty five minutes by car to

1920
01:39:32,560 --> 01:39:35,159
drive from one side of town to another. If you

1921
01:39:35,239 --> 01:39:40,039
live anywhere in Americas outside of Washington, d C, New York, Boston,

1922
01:39:40,479 --> 01:39:44,000
Downtown Chicago, or a few other places, it's vital to

1923
01:39:44,079 --> 01:39:48,439
own a car. Every single one of you Bostards asked

1924
01:39:48,439 --> 01:39:51,319
me where in England I was from. I'm from Australia.

1925
01:39:51,640 --> 01:39:54,039
Pretty much as far away from England as you can

1926
01:39:54,119 --> 01:39:58,000
get without leaving the planet, asked the girl in the

1927
01:39:58,079 --> 01:40:01,039
Hooker Lunch if she knew where New New Zealand, my

1928
01:40:01,199 --> 01:40:04,399
home country was, she replied, asking, is that the country

1929
01:40:04,439 --> 01:40:07,640
above us? Well, it is a globe. If you get

1930
01:40:07,640 --> 01:40:12,600
the angle right, you'll hit New Zealand. Eventually a universal

1931
01:40:12,760 --> 01:40:16,840
WTF for both foreign and US citizens. The Golden Corral,

1932
01:40:17,159 --> 01:40:20,680
everything was submerged in liquid butter. The patrons were larger

1933
01:40:20,720 --> 01:40:24,560
than some cars. One time that Golden Corral, many years back,

1934
01:40:24,600 --> 01:40:28,239
Eye saw an overweight guy in suspenders whose chest, primarily

1935
01:40:28,319 --> 01:40:32,880
due to the suspenders, was a freaking square. He wasn't round. Instead,

1936
01:40:32,920 --> 01:40:35,680
he was white but flat. He was only about five

1937
01:40:35,720 --> 01:40:38,199
feet five inches, so that likely played a role into

1938
01:40:38,239 --> 01:40:41,520
his geometric shape as well. Was the most mind blowing

1939
01:40:41,560 --> 01:40:45,680
thing I'd ever seen from a Golden Corral. I'd never

1940
01:40:45,720 --> 01:40:49,560
been out of Australia before. In Australia only farmers and

1941
01:40:49,640 --> 01:40:53,119
cops have guns, and some criminals, I guess, so I

1942
01:40:53,159 --> 01:40:55,800
had never seen a gun that wasn't in a copse hole. Still,

1943
01:40:55,800 --> 01:40:59,079
in my entire thirty year existence, we'd go to the

1944
01:40:59,199 --> 01:41:02,000
US four hours honeymoon and have the honor and privilege

1945
01:41:02,039 --> 01:41:04,760
of visiting a Walmart. But the guns are just on

1946
01:41:04,800 --> 01:41:07,800
the shelf. You can touch them. A fellow was he

1947
01:41:07,880 --> 01:41:09,800
friend who was with us at the time, asked the

1948
01:41:09,840 --> 01:41:12,359
cashier if she could hold one. He looked at her

1949
01:41:12,399 --> 01:41:14,239
as if she had asked if it was okay to

1950
01:41:14,319 --> 01:41:17,800
breathe the store's air. Can I hold one? This big one?

1951
01:41:17,840 --> 01:41:22,079
She asked, incredulie, sure if you wanted. The guy said,

1952
01:41:22,399 --> 01:41:25,319
confuse and board. At the same time, she picked up

1953
01:41:25,359 --> 01:41:29,000
this big bud gun. Sorry, not a gun, guy, don't

1954
01:41:29,000 --> 01:41:31,279
know what it was. It was about the size of

1955
01:41:31,279 --> 01:41:34,119
a shotgun, but was bulkiar and was getting us to

1956
01:41:34,159 --> 01:41:35,399
take photos.

1957
01:41:34,960 --> 01:41:35,560
Speaker 2: Of her with it.

1958
01:41:35,880 --> 01:41:37,720
Speaker 1: If I had a gun like that at home and

1959
01:41:37,800 --> 01:41:41,199
walked outside my house with it, someone would drive past

1960
01:41:41,239 --> 01:41:43,960
and see me in about ten seconds. They would call

1961
01:41:44,000 --> 01:41:47,560
the cops, which would take about thirty seconds. The police

1962
01:41:47,600 --> 01:41:50,000
station is just up the road, so I estimate a

1963
01:41:50,079 --> 01:41:52,880
cop car would arrive in about three minutes, and it

1964
01:41:52,920 --> 01:41:55,399
would take about ten seconds for a cop to ask

1965
01:41:55,479 --> 01:41:57,840
me politely to jump in his car and come for

1966
01:41:57,880 --> 01:42:00,439
a nice chat down at the police station. But it

1967
01:42:00,479 --> 01:42:03,800
would be fun for four minutes. Honeymoon was not literally

1968
01:42:03,840 --> 01:42:07,720
at Walmart. Honeymoon was too weak. Kentickietur followed by one

1969
01:42:07,720 --> 01:42:12,199
week in NYC. Fun times about the size of a shotgun,

1970
01:42:12,239 --> 01:42:17,000
but was bulkier. That sounds like a shotgun. I was

1971
01:42:17,039 --> 01:42:20,560
in Vegas with three Danish friends and we were very hungover.

1972
01:42:21,079 --> 01:42:24,359
Three of us, not the driver. We decided to go

1973
01:42:24,439 --> 01:42:27,560
for a drive in the convertible. After fifteen minutes, a

1974
01:42:27,600 --> 01:42:30,199
police officer on a bike drives up next to us

1975
01:42:30,239 --> 01:42:33,199
and just stares into the car. This lasted like five

1976
01:42:33,279 --> 01:42:36,359
ten seconds, so the driver turns his head and asks

1977
01:42:36,359 --> 01:42:39,840
there anything wrong officer. The officer replied, in a super

1978
01:42:39,880 --> 01:42:43,279
angry tone, keep your Metherfican eyes on the Methurfriican road.

1979
01:42:43,720 --> 01:42:46,600
He continued to follow us for about a mile, just

1980
01:42:46,720 --> 01:42:50,840
staring at us. Super fricking creepy. Also had bad police

1981
01:42:50,880 --> 01:42:55,760
experiences in Florida, New York, and San Diego. Some people

1982
01:42:55,920 --> 01:42:58,319
join because they honestly want to help people, and then

1983
01:42:58,359 --> 01:43:02,239
a distressing segment joins b because they are power hungry psychopaths.

1984
01:43:03,800 --> 01:43:06,119
I'm from Canada and the first thing I saw upon

1985
01:43:06,159 --> 01:43:09,800
my arrival to Port Angelus, Washington, which happened to be

1986
01:43:09,840 --> 01:43:12,520
the first time I stepped foot in the States, was

1987
01:43:12,520 --> 01:43:15,479
a large spherical lady sitting in the middle of the sidewalk,

1988
01:43:15,520 --> 01:43:19,119
blocking my path to the bus terminal, just staring at me.

1989
01:43:19,640 --> 01:43:22,720
Another time, I was in San Diego one summer and

1990
01:43:22,760 --> 01:43:26,439
a woman genuinely curious asked me if it was summer

1991
01:43:26,479 --> 01:43:30,760
in Vancouver. Two On a bus going into New York

1992
01:43:30,840 --> 01:43:33,760
City from New Jersey, there was a middle aged white

1993
01:43:33,760 --> 01:43:35,960
man on the bus. As he goes to get off

1994
01:43:36,000 --> 01:43:38,600
the bus, I noticed the tip of a used condom

1995
01:43:38,720 --> 01:43:41,399
hanging out of the back pocket of his car keypants.

1996
01:43:41,800 --> 01:43:44,720
Instead of saying thank you, as he is leaving the bus,

1997
01:43:44,760 --> 01:43:47,960
he tells the young black female bus driver not too

1998
01:43:48,000 --> 01:43:51,720
bad for being black. Dude was not masturbating on the bus,

1999
01:43:51,920 --> 01:43:54,800
nor did he frick the bus driver. He was sitting

2000
01:43:54,800 --> 01:43:57,119
a few seats away from me. That would be an

2001
01:43:57,159 --> 01:44:00,359
even more WTF moment, which I would have include in

2002
01:44:00,359 --> 01:44:06,039
my original post. That's just uncle gob He's harmless. Do

2003
01:44:06,199 --> 01:44:09,439
you know any vikings? Asked by a nice young blonde

2004
01:44:09,479 --> 01:44:13,960
with a straight and serious face in McDonald's I'm from Denmark. Also,

2005
01:44:14,319 --> 01:44:18,319
good God, Texas has a lot of fat people. I

2006
01:44:18,359 --> 01:44:21,880
went to Applebee's mistake number one, I guess. I was

2007
01:44:21,920 --> 01:44:24,720
then served by a nice young lady called Brittany, who

2008
01:44:24,760 --> 01:44:27,159
asked me with a serious face if we have trees

2009
01:44:27,159 --> 01:44:31,560
in Scotland. Sorry about that. Everyone knows Brittany is an idiot.

2010
01:44:33,079 --> 01:44:36,119
Brit Here, we went to Ruby Tuesdays and the Florida

2011
01:44:36,159 --> 01:44:38,000
Mall and saw a woman take a bull from the

2012
01:44:38,079 --> 01:44:41,039
salad bar, fill it with ranch dressing and sit back

2013
01:44:41,079 --> 01:44:43,760
at her table, eating it like it to a soup. Luckily,

2014
01:44:43,840 --> 01:44:46,319
that wasn't the only treat Florida had for us on

2015
01:44:46,359 --> 01:44:50,319
that trip. I think Florida is just like one giant walmart.

2016
01:44:51,880 --> 01:44:53,760
I was in an uber going to the airport and

2017
01:44:53,800 --> 01:44:56,760
the driver asked where I was flying too, I said

2018
01:44:56,800 --> 01:45:00,359
Hong Kong. He asked if I spoke Japanese. I told

2019
01:45:00,399 --> 01:45:03,119
him that we speak Chinese in Hong Kong. He says,

2020
01:45:03,159 --> 01:45:06,520
what's the difference? HS genuinely didn't know that Japanese and

2021
01:45:06,600 --> 01:45:11,560
Chinese were different languages. Went into a shop they had

2022
01:45:11,600 --> 01:45:15,119
spray on cheese. I don't think the majority of Americans

2023
01:45:15,119 --> 01:45:17,920
here know how ridiculous that sounds to the rest of us,

2024
01:45:18,359 --> 01:45:23,439
spray on cheese. I'm from the UK, lived in the

2025
01:45:23,560 --> 01:45:27,039
US four about five years now. Few things that annoy me.

2026
01:45:27,359 --> 01:45:29,239
You want to get a loan for a new car,

2027
01:45:29,560 --> 01:45:32,239
there's a fee for that on top of the interest.

2028
01:45:32,600 --> 01:45:35,279
You want to take money out of the ATM, there's

2029
01:45:35,319 --> 01:45:38,319
a fee for that. You want to exchange some currency,

2030
01:45:38,560 --> 01:45:41,359
there's a fee for that. On top of the exchange.

2031
01:45:41,399 --> 01:45:44,960
Spread a products money off, You'll have to send something

2032
01:45:44,960 --> 01:45:47,920
to receive it. They hope you can't be bothered. Pretty

2033
01:45:47,960 --> 01:45:50,720
much any service, someone will try to make a few

2034
01:45:50,760 --> 01:45:55,800
extra dollars off you. Credit unions are Your friend was

2035
01:45:55,800 --> 01:45:59,680
in Spokane at silver Wood Amusement Park and asked where

2036
01:45:59,720 --> 01:46:02,479
the washroom was. I was promptly told there were no

2037
01:46:02,680 --> 01:46:05,960
washrooms in the park. This happened a good handful of times,

2038
01:46:05,960 --> 01:46:08,239
and it never even occurred to me that I had

2039
01:46:08,279 --> 01:46:10,560
to say restroom to receive any real help.

2040
01:46:11,039 --> 01:46:11,359
Speaker 2: Weird.

2041
01:46:11,680 --> 01:46:15,079
Speaker 1: Although we don't typically say washroom, I can't imagine someone

2042
01:46:15,159 --> 01:46:18,359
not knowing that it is synonymous with bathroom. Sounds like

2043
01:46:18,439 --> 01:46:22,760
you ran into a handful of real boneheads. I visited

2044
01:46:22,760 --> 01:46:25,920
America recently, and there are so many more people than

2045
01:46:25,960 --> 01:46:28,920
I am used to. I come from New Zealand, and

2046
01:46:29,000 --> 01:46:31,640
our biggest city only has about one point three to

2047
01:46:31,720 --> 01:46:34,439
one point five million people in it, and the total

2048
01:46:34,479 --> 01:46:38,000
population is around four point four to seven one million people.

2049
01:46:38,520 --> 01:46:41,000
And even Auckland is too big for me. I'm a

2050
01:46:41,039 --> 01:46:45,560
Wellington man for sure. I'm Canadian and have visited the

2051
01:46:45,680 --> 01:46:49,079
United States multiple time and have had an overall enjoyable

2052
01:46:49,119 --> 01:46:52,439
experience on each one. I wouldn't blame this on America,

2053
01:46:52,600 --> 01:46:55,159
but I saw a fat, bald, middle aged man standing

2054
01:46:55,159 --> 01:46:58,560
on the side of a Pennsylvania highway with bunnyers. I'm

2055
01:46:58,600 --> 01:47:00,920
sure this happens in Canada two, but this is the

2056
01:47:00,960 --> 01:47:04,640
first time I've seen something like this. I saw fat, bald,

2057
01:47:04,720 --> 01:47:07,600
middle aged man standing on the side of a Pennsylvania

2058
01:47:07,680 --> 01:47:08,840
highway with bunny ears.

2059
01:47:09,279 --> 01:47:09,520
Speaker 2: Easter.

2060
01:47:09,640 --> 01:47:12,600
Speaker 1: Bunny has had a rough few years. People just don't

2061
01:47:12,600 --> 01:47:17,760
care about Jesus coming back anymore. Well, I hadn't even

2062
01:47:17,840 --> 01:47:19,960
arrived yet in the US, but in the Plain, as

2063
01:47:20,000 --> 01:47:22,079
a foreigner, you have to fill a paper to enter

2064
01:47:22,079 --> 01:47:24,840
the country with various questions, among which did you come

2065
01:47:24,880 --> 01:47:28,920
to murder the President of the United States? Wtf America

2066
01:47:29,399 --> 01:47:32,520
president is murdered? He selected know in that field of

2067
01:47:32,560 --> 01:47:35,159
the form, there's no way we could have stopped him.

2068
01:47:36,720 --> 01:47:40,359
I'm American but live in France at the moment. French

2069
01:47:40,399 --> 01:47:42,479
people love telling me about the time they went to

2070
01:47:42,520 --> 01:47:45,159
the US and the crazy things that they saw. Two

2071
01:47:45,199 --> 01:47:48,399
of my favorites are One a friend was complaining about

2072
01:47:48,399 --> 01:47:50,239
the food in the US and then said, and we

2073
01:47:50,279 --> 01:47:52,880
went to this restaurant and they only had one food,

2074
01:47:53,199 --> 01:47:56,640
only pizza. And two A French friend visited the US

2075
01:47:56,680 --> 01:48:00,319
and people kept saying voulez vou culture avecmoy, yes, saw

2076
01:48:00,359 --> 01:48:02,760
it at him. This is a rather shocking thing to

2077
01:48:02,800 --> 01:48:08,000
say to a stranger. I visited the US. Never understood

2078
01:48:08,039 --> 01:48:11,079
suburban young kids with huge trucks that clearly.

2079
01:48:10,760 --> 01:48:12,399
Speaker 2: Do not do any manual labor.

2080
01:48:12,720 --> 01:48:16,560
Speaker 1: I visited, but I also have lived here my whole life.

2081
01:48:17,479 --> 01:48:19,800
I was walking down the strip in Vegas at two

2082
01:48:19,880 --> 01:48:22,439
thirty am and got talking to some lads who were

2083
01:48:22,439 --> 01:48:25,359
making a stop on their drive cross country from college.

2084
01:48:25,640 --> 01:48:29,159
This one guy was special. First thing he couldn't understand

2085
01:48:29,279 --> 01:48:31,680
was that although it was two thirty am in Vegas,

2086
01:48:31,720 --> 01:48:34,399
it was ten thirty am in the UK. Then he

2087
01:48:34,439 --> 01:48:37,920
didn't believe we'd suffered a terrorist attack in London seven

2088
01:48:38,000 --> 01:48:42,600
stroke seven. Lastly, no matter how I protested, he refused

2089
01:48:42,600 --> 01:48:45,920
to believe our police didn't carry guns. Then he stopped

2090
01:48:45,960 --> 01:48:49,159
for a second, looked really thoughtful, and said, I guess

2091
01:48:49,159 --> 01:48:53,119
you guys don't have black people in England. I went

2092
01:48:53,159 --> 01:48:55,840
to Florida shortly after they had been a hurricane and

2093
01:48:55,880 --> 01:48:59,279
a lot of people's homes and businesses got completely trashed.

2094
01:48:59,560 --> 01:49:02,479
There were a surprising amount of local people we spoke to,

2095
01:49:02,520 --> 01:49:05,560
hoo were content with their livelihoods being destroyed because it

2096
01:49:05,640 --> 01:49:09,319
was God's will. I lived in the US for a

2097
01:49:09,399 --> 01:49:13,000
year previously in Texas. Over this time I got a

2098
01:49:13,039 --> 01:49:15,840
lot of comments on my accent. I'm English, But the

2099
01:49:15,880 --> 01:49:19,840
most WTF one went like this, heer, Oh, I like

2100
01:49:19,960 --> 01:49:22,199
your accent. Where are you from? Me?

2101
01:49:22,800 --> 01:49:23,239
Speaker 2: Thank you?

2102
01:49:23,600 --> 01:49:28,760
Speaker 1: I'm from England. Her your English is very good. Me confused, smiler,

2103
01:49:29,119 --> 01:49:33,119
thank you. Her, So what language do you speak in England?

2104
01:49:33,439 --> 01:49:38,279
Me laugh, thinking this is a joke. Her dead pan, confused,

2105
01:49:38,319 --> 01:49:41,920
look me English. Then there was the time someone was

2106
01:49:41,960 --> 01:49:45,479
convinced HI was Australian. I'm a Northerner. I have a

2107
01:49:45,560 --> 01:49:50,239
Yorkshire accent. Even one new person shares in this horror

2108
01:49:50,279 --> 01:49:53,239
it's worth taking the minutes to answer. On a Greyhound,

2109
01:49:53,279 --> 01:49:55,680
I saw a mom mixed mountain dew and breast milk

2110
01:49:55,720 --> 01:49:59,079
in a bottle and feed it to her baby. Not

2111
01:49:59,159 --> 01:50:02,399
a WTF for America moment, but I mean an absolute

2112
01:50:02,399 --> 01:50:06,079
idiot in Orange County Kelly. She was fascinated when my

2113
01:50:06,159 --> 01:50:09,399
friend told her that we are Irish. She started asking

2114
01:50:09,479 --> 01:50:13,439
crazy questions about Ireland, questions like dew fairies.

2115
01:50:13,039 --> 01:50:13,840
Speaker 2: Really live there?

2116
01:50:14,079 --> 01:50:16,520
Speaker 1: And is it true you guys have no electricity or

2117
01:50:16,600 --> 01:50:19,479
rhads in island. She fully believe us when we told

2118
01:50:19,520 --> 01:50:21,520
her that we do have roads, but we have to

2119
01:50:21,560 --> 01:50:24,479
take them in at night. She also fully believe us

2120
01:50:24,479 --> 01:50:26,880
when we told her that we only have six days

2121
01:50:26,880 --> 01:50:29,479
in a week because we had to get rid of Tuesdays.

2122
01:50:31,079 --> 01:50:33,520
I've been many times, but the first time I went

2123
01:50:33,560 --> 01:50:36,760
to downtown La it hit me how amblamorous parts of

2124
01:50:36,800 --> 01:50:40,159
the US really are same with NYU step outside of

2125
01:50:40,239 --> 01:50:43,279
the business district and things look like really old and rundown.

2126
01:50:44,840 --> 01:50:48,000
Waiting in the airport to fly home. When to McDonald's,

2127
01:50:48,000 --> 01:50:51,600
core's eye was a bit hungry, ordered a regular cheeseburger meal.

2128
01:50:52,000 --> 01:50:54,439
The fries and drink were the size of largers back

2129
01:50:54,479 --> 01:50:58,920
in the YUKTBF not completely unexpected, But the crazy thing

2130
01:50:59,000 --> 01:51:02,000
to me was I got two burghers two on just

2131
01:51:02,079 --> 01:51:05,520
a regular meal. You must have ordered the two cheeseburgers meal,

2132
01:51:05,880 --> 01:51:09,159
which exists solely to convince consumers that two is greater

2133
01:51:09,239 --> 01:51:11,279
than one, so there must be more food in there.

2134
01:51:12,840 --> 01:51:15,760
Have had a few. In a Cleveland mall, a guy

2135
01:51:15,840 --> 01:51:18,880
runs down the elevator towards me and my group of friends,

2136
01:51:18,960 --> 01:51:21,840
yelling you guys from Canada. We nervously replied that we

2137
01:51:21,840 --> 01:51:24,800
weren't asked how he could tell his reply because you

2138
01:51:24,880 --> 01:51:28,680
all are wearing roots. NYC traveling from JFK to Long

2139
01:51:28,680 --> 01:51:31,760
Island City on the highway in cab get rear ended.

2140
01:51:32,079 --> 01:51:35,720
Cabby and previous driver stop, get out and look a damage.

2141
01:51:35,920 --> 01:51:39,560
Don't exchange info and continue on their merry ways. Always

2142
01:51:39,600 --> 01:51:42,880
get escalator and elevators mixed up. And in regards to

2143
01:51:42,920 --> 01:51:46,359
the nervousness, eighteen years old kids in Cleveland for a

2144
01:51:46,399 --> 01:51:50,159
business competition. So nerdy is frick and it's amer cook

2145
01:51:50,600 --> 01:51:53,600
who wouldn't be nervous? Well, they're thinking is that if

2146
01:51:53,640 --> 01:51:56,039
there's no real damage, it's a waste of time to

2147
01:51:56,079 --> 01:51:58,680
wait hours for the cops to arrive to write a ticket,

2148
01:51:58,720 --> 01:52:02,840
which may result in insure and raising your rate. I've

2149
01:52:02,880 --> 01:52:05,920
been asked what state Ontario was in. When I told

2150
01:52:05,920 --> 01:52:09,119
the lady it was a province in Canada, she was confused,

2151
01:52:09,520 --> 01:52:12,600
like she had never ever heard of Canada. Lol, then,

2152
01:52:12,640 --> 01:52:16,920
and do we have Christmas, Halloween and Easter in Canada?

2153
01:52:17,399 --> 01:52:20,199
You have highways in the Philippines. To be fair, there

2154
01:52:20,279 --> 01:52:23,119
was also a well educated guy who apologized on behalf

2155
01:52:23,119 --> 01:52:25,800
of his country for the CIA backed dictatorship.

2156
01:52:25,840 --> 01:52:26,960
Speaker 2: They put up a well.

2157
01:52:26,800 --> 01:52:32,439
Speaker 1: Back, a nice guy, probably an inverted WTF moment where

2158
01:52:32,439 --> 01:52:36,560
the Americans would have thought, wtf these foreigners. When I

2159
01:52:36,640 --> 01:52:39,720
uttered the sentence don't mind him, He's just being a

2160
01:52:39,720 --> 01:52:41,960
bit off a sea, and received stairs as if I

2161
01:52:42,000 --> 01:52:44,640
had just threatened to blow up the whole office. I

2162
01:52:44,720 --> 01:52:48,720
tried correcting myself by saying sorry, I meant a fricking prick,

2163
01:52:49,199 --> 01:52:53,079
did not improve the situation. C is probably the strongest

2164
01:52:53,199 --> 01:52:57,600
where word you can use outside of racial slurs. A

2165
01:52:57,640 --> 01:53:01,119
classmate in university back in two thousand and do you

2166
01:53:01,199 --> 01:53:03,760
have computers in India? Did you go to school on

2167
01:53:03,800 --> 01:53:04,439
your elephant?

2168
01:53:04,760 --> 01:53:07,439
Speaker 2: Yes? And yes, that's why it's so easy.

2169
01:53:07,199 --> 01:53:11,199
Speaker 1: To ride your mom My first trip to Walmart, I

2170
01:53:11,319 --> 01:53:14,239
was kind of overwhelmed by the sheer variety and range

2171
01:53:14,239 --> 01:53:16,880
of food produce they had, And then I looked at

2172
01:53:16,920 --> 01:53:19,560
a banana stand which was just too plastic stick with

2173
01:53:19,600 --> 01:53:23,720
a U on top. That's it for eight dollars. Went

2174
01:53:23,760 --> 01:53:26,680
to Texas to visit some friends. When we got to

2175
01:53:26,720 --> 01:53:29,239
their place, the first thing they said was one of

2176
01:53:29,359 --> 01:53:31,760
s our guns. Having never seen a real gun in

2177
01:53:31,800 --> 01:53:35,279
my life, I was pretty excited. They were cool guys,

2178
01:53:35,600 --> 01:53:37,760
though they did all have a loaded handgun on their

2179
01:53:37,840 --> 01:53:42,680
night stands. We were in a steakhouse somewhere in New Jersey.

2180
01:53:42,880 --> 01:53:45,479
We told the waitress that we were from Korea and

2181
01:53:45,560 --> 01:53:49,560
she said, oh, that's a city in Japan, right, I

2182
01:53:49,600 --> 01:53:52,880
really want to go to Japan. Our great grandparents were

2183
01:53:52,880 --> 01:53:55,399
forced out of their land and killed in Manchuria by

2184
01:53:55,399 --> 01:53:58,840
the Japanese during their occupation of Korea. I had trouble

2185
01:53:58,880 --> 01:54:03,560
calming my dad Dawn. Pretty much every question I was

2186
01:54:03,600 --> 01:54:07,159
asked made me go, wtf. Do you have running water

2187
01:54:07,239 --> 01:54:10,520
in New Zealand? Do you have glass windows? Do you

2188
01:54:10,600 --> 01:54:13,840
have chickens over there? Do you guys have apples? That

2189
01:54:14,119 --> 01:54:16,199
was asked while they were holding an apple with a

2190
01:54:16,239 --> 01:54:19,279
sticker saying it was imported from menz Why don't you

2191
01:54:19,359 --> 01:54:22,000
go live on the mainland. I found out after a

2192
01:54:22,039 --> 01:54:25,600
while that they meant Australia. Also that it's just expected

2193
01:54:25,640 --> 01:54:28,840
that everyone will exchange their gifts and gift exchange cards

2194
01:54:28,880 --> 01:54:30,239
are included in the gifts.

2195
01:54:30,560 --> 01:54:30,800
Speaker 2: Here.

2196
01:54:31,199 --> 01:54:33,279
Speaker 1: You get a gift and you friacking like it whether

2197
01:54:33,319 --> 01:54:37,199
you like it or not. Two moments in the US

2198
01:54:37,520 --> 01:54:40,279
when my friend and I decided to drive to downtown

2199
01:54:40,399 --> 01:54:43,640
LA and we accidentally came across the ghetto to paint

2200
01:54:43,640 --> 01:54:46,720
a picture few hundred of people loitering on per block,

2201
01:54:47,039 --> 01:54:50,960
tents and rubbish everywhere on the street. The seriously WTF

2202
01:54:51,039 --> 01:54:53,520
moment was when we literally turned around the block and

2203
01:54:53,560 --> 01:54:56,800
it was back to cosmopolitan area, people shopping and going

2204
01:54:56,800 --> 01:55:00,279
on with their lives. Starbucks. But being a nouzi, I

2205
01:55:00,319 --> 01:55:03,279
got asked where I was based on my accent, I

2206
01:55:03,359 --> 01:55:08,479
responded Australia full sincere. Moment I got asked, oh, Australia,

2207
01:55:08,720 --> 01:55:11,920
what language do you speak over there? I felt dumbfounded

2208
01:55:11,960 --> 01:55:17,640
and guilty and said, just up Australian English. WTF? America, WTF.

2209
01:55:18,439 --> 01:55:21,359
My first trip to the US in twenty twelve and

2210
01:55:21,439 --> 01:55:25,640
first stop was Chicago, visiting a friend of my American

2211
01:55:26,000 --> 01:55:28,800
girlfriend who was studying there. So we go out on

2212
01:55:28,840 --> 01:55:32,000
our first evening to some Asian place Yum, and I

2213
01:55:32,119 --> 01:55:35,520
order a coke. Wasn't twenty one. Yet, as in Germany,

2214
01:55:35,600 --> 01:55:38,039
you can accumulate quite a bill when drinking a lot

2215
01:55:38,079 --> 01:55:41,359
of beverages in restaurants. I was not going to drink

2216
01:55:41,359 --> 01:55:43,680
more than what I needed for the meal. Mind you,

2217
01:55:44,000 --> 01:55:46,520
we also don't get free water and jair, which I

2218
01:55:46,560 --> 01:55:47,760
think is awesome practice.

2219
01:55:47,760 --> 01:55:48,439
Speaker 2: In the US.

2220
01:55:48,800 --> 01:55:50,880
Speaker 1: What is often done when you don't want the way

2221
01:55:50,920 --> 01:55:53,399
to rest to ask you for another order of drinks

2222
01:55:53,760 --> 01:55:55,720
is to leave some of the beverage in the glass

2223
01:55:55,840 --> 01:55:58,159
enough at it clearly is not just left over, but

2224
01:55:58,239 --> 01:56:01,000
could still be used to satisfy you or thirst. But

2225
01:56:01,119 --> 01:56:04,119
this works reasonably well in Germany. Now back to the

2226
01:56:04,159 --> 01:56:08,199
Asian restaurant in Chicago. I did exactly as described above,

2227
01:56:08,319 --> 01:56:11,119
but still the waiter came and asked if I wanted

2228
01:56:11,159 --> 01:56:15,000
another coke. I thought to myself, well why not in order.

2229
01:56:15,359 --> 01:56:18,239
He then took my glass, which still had this considerable

2230
01:56:18,279 --> 01:56:21,000
amount of coke in it. So I interrupted him and

2231
01:56:21,039 --> 01:56:23,560
said weight note, to which he replied, no coke. And

2232
01:56:23,640 --> 01:56:27,279
I said, yes, coke, but this one pointing also, which

2233
01:56:27,319 --> 01:56:30,600
seemed to totally confuse the kind waiter. I then said,

2234
01:56:30,640 --> 01:56:32,800
I would like to order another coke, but I would

2235
01:56:32,800 --> 01:56:35,399
also like to finish this one, but was interrupted by

2236
01:56:35,399 --> 01:56:38,279
my girlfriend, who by that point was laughing already in

2237
01:56:38,359 --> 01:56:41,720
scent the waiter off, leaving me reasonably upset before she

2238
01:56:41,800 --> 01:56:45,119
could explain to me that non alcoholic beverages are refilled

2239
01:56:45,119 --> 01:56:45,760
for free.

2240
01:56:45,560 --> 01:56:46,239
Speaker 2: In the US.

2241
01:56:46,600 --> 01:56:49,399
Speaker 1: I knew rite that moment that America was everything I

2242
01:56:49,439 --> 01:56:52,039
ever hoped it would be. Three See you again soon,

2243
01:56:52,119 --> 01:56:54,079
you magnificent busted of the country.

2244
01:56:55,439 --> 01:56:55,960
Speaker 2: When I was.

2245
01:56:55,960 --> 01:56:59,359
Speaker 1: Living in California back in the late nineties minus two thousand,

2246
01:56:59,680 --> 01:57:01,600
the new news came on and announced that one of

2247
01:57:01,640 --> 01:57:05,079
the stories would be NATO stuff's bombing Kosovo. I turned

2248
01:57:05,079 --> 01:57:07,279
the news up, only to have to sit through the

2249
01:57:07,319 --> 01:57:10,760
more important story first out of season rain in La

2250
01:57:12,399 --> 01:57:15,079
I was talking to a girl years ago about the US.

2251
01:57:15,479 --> 01:57:19,199
It was around the fourth of July. I'm British, she's American.

2252
01:57:19,560 --> 01:57:22,000
She wished me a happy the fourth of July. I

2253
01:57:22,079 --> 01:57:24,920
told her we down tea celebrate that in the UK.

2254
01:57:25,439 --> 01:57:29,239
She didn't now understand why good ridden today as we

2255
01:57:29,359 --> 01:57:32,359
call it when our American friends celebrate it here an

2256
01:57:32,439 --> 01:57:35,560
excuse for food, drink and a party. So I'm all

2257
01:57:35,600 --> 01:57:36,000
for it.

2258
01:57:36,279 --> 01:57:37,800
Speaker 2: Okay, I think.

2259
01:57:37,600 --> 01:57:40,000
Speaker 1: People who do this are stupid, but I see the

2260
01:57:40,039 --> 01:57:41,760
need to join their ranks.

2261
01:57:41,760 --> 01:57:42,319
Speaker 2: Capital t.

2262
01:57:44,279 --> 01:57:47,159
Speaker 1: Just got back from Miami told a woman who was

2263
01:57:47,199 --> 01:57:49,720
walking her cat that my girlfriend and I thought her

2264
01:57:49,760 --> 01:57:52,399
cat was cute. She then told us she is not

2265
01:57:52,439 --> 01:57:55,840
a prostitute, and nor was the cat. As an American,

2266
01:57:56,239 --> 01:58:00,039
that's just a weird response. Also, catwalkers tend to be

2267
01:58:00,119 --> 01:58:03,520
somewhat strange, says the girl debating on buying a leash

2268
01:58:03,520 --> 01:58:07,560
for her cat. A friend of mine lived in Virginia

2269
01:58:07,640 --> 01:58:10,279
for some years for school, and the locals it was

2270
01:58:10,319 --> 01:58:13,960
an average sized town, not some hilbery shit hole asked

2271
01:58:14,000 --> 01:58:18,359
him if we had cars, electricity, internet, or fridges in Luxembourg,

2272
01:58:18,760 --> 01:58:22,359
anyone asking, of course, we don't have those things in Luxembourg.

2273
01:58:22,800 --> 01:58:25,359
That's how we became one of the richest countries on

2274
01:58:25,439 --> 01:58:28,920
Earth by staying in the Stone Age. Don't let anyone

2275
01:58:28,960 --> 01:58:31,520
fool you to think we all have glass, fiber internet

2276
01:58:31,520 --> 01:58:35,720
and government paid education and healthcare that includes massages. It's

2277
01:58:35,760 --> 01:58:40,159
all Lise. We all live under Iraq. Mine was on

2278
01:58:40,239 --> 01:58:43,479
the flight home we just landed, and I overheard the

2279
01:58:43,560 --> 01:58:49,239
following exchange, Mom, where are we Amsterdam? It's in Germany. Well,

2280
01:58:49,279 --> 01:58:53,399
at one point in time she wasn't too wrong. I'm

2281
01:58:53,399 --> 01:58:56,640
from Sweden and visited New York a few summers ago

2282
01:58:56,760 --> 01:58:59,600
with my family. We had just gotten off the bus

2283
01:58:59,800 --> 01:59:03,640
and my stepsister was feeling really nauseous from the bus ride.

2284
01:59:03,760 --> 01:59:06,000
She walks up to a garbage and takes a few

2285
01:59:06,039 --> 01:59:09,479
deep breaths, trying to not vomit. Suddenly, a guy in

2286
01:59:09,520 --> 01:59:12,199
a suit with a briefcase walks up, asks if she's

2287
01:59:12,239 --> 01:59:15,199
all right, tells her to wait there, and comes back

2288
01:59:15,239 --> 01:59:17,920
a few seconds later with a bottle of water for her.

2289
01:59:18,479 --> 01:59:22,119
Just a complete stranger. That's not something you'd see in Sweden.

2290
01:59:23,640 --> 01:59:25,640
I went to the US this summer to work for

2291
01:59:25,720 --> 01:59:29,039
my uncle's company in LA for eight weeks. I'm currently

2292
01:59:29,079 --> 01:59:32,319
studying a university in the UK. I decided to fly

2293
01:59:32,439 --> 01:59:35,039
up to San Francisco to visit my cousin for the

2294
01:59:35,079 --> 01:59:38,720
weekend and flew from LAX. After my return flight, I

2295
01:59:38,960 --> 01:59:41,880
was about to exit the Lax American terminal when all

2296
01:59:41,880 --> 01:59:44,479
the police around me got their guns out and started

2297
01:59:44,479 --> 01:59:48,119
shouting about a shooter at the airport. Chaos erupted around me,

2298
01:59:48,199 --> 01:59:51,960
with people everywhere throwing their suitcases to the floor and screaming.

2299
01:59:52,319 --> 01:59:54,960
I had no idea what to do. I had just

2300
01:59:55,039 --> 01:59:57,720
bought a tea from Starbucks, and I didn't really want

2301
01:59:57,760 --> 01:59:59,560
to throw it on the floor and run about, so

2302
01:59:59,640 --> 02:00:02,359
I follow of this stamp people of people through the terminal.

2303
02:00:02,680 --> 02:00:05,159
I found a room to hide in with twenty other people.

2304
02:00:05,439 --> 02:00:07,840
We all lay on the floor being quiet, trying to

2305
02:00:07,880 --> 02:00:11,159
stay calm. People all around me calling their loved one,

2306
02:00:11,239 --> 02:00:14,760
saying their goodbyes. It was insane. I didn't have any

2307
02:00:14,800 --> 02:00:17,279
service on my AT and T phone, so I just

2308
02:00:17,359 --> 02:00:20,119
sat there drinking tea, contemplating what I would do if

2309
02:00:20,159 --> 02:00:22,920
a gunman appeared. I realized now it was the most

2310
02:00:22,920 --> 02:00:25,840
British thing to do at that moment we were in Therefore,

2311
02:00:25,880 --> 02:00:28,399
twenty five minutes when we got told it was clear

2312
02:00:28,800 --> 02:00:31,239
all of this happened because the police heard a loud

2313
02:00:31,239 --> 02:00:34,640
noise and there was someone dressed as Zoro. Witch raised suspicions,

2314
02:00:35,279 --> 02:00:40,359
wtf America. They have bank drive throughs. They go to

2315
02:00:40,439 --> 02:00:43,279
the bank like they go to McDonald's. Saw them in

2316
02:00:43,319 --> 02:00:48,000
New Jersey around five years ago, one summer when we

2317
02:00:48,119 --> 02:00:51,159
visited some friends out in Tennessee and we're eating fresh deer.

2318
02:00:51,239 --> 02:00:54,880
He'd shot that afternoon off his BBQ, drinking beer and

2319
02:00:54,920 --> 02:00:58,239
sharing differences in culture at which point, out of no way,

2320
02:00:58,239 --> 02:01:00,159
he pulls out a palette gun and shoots it's a

2321
02:01:00,199 --> 02:01:02,760
squirrel from the top of a phone line. He then

2322
02:01:02,840 --> 02:01:06,920
proceeded to cut, watch, clean and cook. The squirrel tasted

2323
02:01:06,960 --> 02:01:09,560
like chicken. I have no doubt that if there was

2324
02:01:09,600 --> 02:01:12,560
a global apocalypse, it might take Tennessee a few years

2325
02:01:12,600 --> 02:01:15,720
to notice, and only because they stopped making more bud

2326
02:01:15,800 --> 02:01:20,680
light the food Holy crap. Me and my sister would

2327
02:01:20,680 --> 02:01:23,399
occasionally share meals because there was so much of it,

2328
02:01:23,640 --> 02:01:27,159
and read still beloads left behind. As an American, I

2329
02:01:27,199 --> 02:01:30,399
don't understand this. I usually eat all of my food.

2330
02:01:30,760 --> 02:01:31,039
Speaker 2: WHOA.

2331
02:01:31,359 --> 02:01:34,960
Speaker 1: I'm fourteen five ft six inches and weigh one hundred

2332
02:01:35,000 --> 02:01:38,760
and one pounds, not overweight by any means, but I

2333
02:01:38,800 --> 02:01:43,520
couldn't having the McDonald's medium be the large. The flag's

2334
02:01:43,600 --> 02:01:46,880
man the flags. I used to joke with my mom

2335
02:01:46,960 --> 02:01:49,520
that if my career doesn't work out, I'm just going

2336
02:01:49,560 --> 02:01:53,560
to open a flag shop in the US. My dad

2337
02:01:53,600 --> 02:01:56,319
lives in America, and I visited him for the first

2338
02:01:56,319 --> 02:01:59,319
time in ten years last September. The first thing he

2339
02:01:59,359 --> 02:02:01,880
did was take meet of the local police gun range,

2340
02:02:02,159 --> 02:02:04,680
where I was told how to fire a fully automatic

2341
02:02:04,680 --> 02:02:09,199
assault rifle, a semi automatic rifle, and a variety of pistols.

2342
02:02:09,560 --> 02:02:11,600
They didn't even know my name, and they put a

2343
02:02:11,640 --> 02:02:13,680
gun in my hands and told me to shoot at

2344
02:02:13,720 --> 02:02:17,760
a target. Best fricking day ever. That's the American dream

2345
02:02:17,880 --> 02:02:22,399
right there. Visited Miami a few years ago with a friend.

2346
02:02:22,720 --> 02:02:25,479
We started a brief conversation with the hotel porter and

2347
02:02:25,560 --> 02:02:28,119
told him we were from London. He goes, here, I

2348
02:02:28,159 --> 02:02:31,760
know some British slang throughout our stay. Whenever he saw us,

2349
02:02:31,800 --> 02:02:34,479
we were greeted with hay, what's up, wankers, and good

2350
02:02:34,520 --> 02:02:39,640
morning you miserable. See was hilarious. Back in the nineties,

2351
02:02:39,720 --> 02:02:43,000
I was in San Francisco in Australia. I had never

2352
02:02:43,039 --> 02:02:45,319
seen a beggar, but there were heaps of them in

2353
02:02:45,439 --> 02:02:49,760
San Francisco. Anyway, I was walking around and this beggar

2354
02:02:49,840 --> 02:02:52,399
comes up to me shaking his conful of coins in

2355
02:02:52,439 --> 02:02:55,680
my face. He never said a word, just shook his.

2356
02:02:55,720 --> 02:02:56,600
Speaker 2: Can in my face.

2357
02:02:57,000 --> 02:02:59,920
Speaker 1: So I said to him, no thanks, mate, I've got

2358
02:03:00,239 --> 02:03:02,680
enough coins of my own. He gave me a look

2359
02:03:02,720 --> 02:03:07,119
of WTF. That is my WTF. A Meerica's story. I'm

2360
02:03:07,119 --> 02:03:11,720
definitely using this one sometime stayed at a hotel in

2361
02:03:11,800 --> 02:03:15,079
New York and the TV had only one program, commercials

2362
02:03:15,119 --> 02:03:18,760
for medicine, and the style of the DV spots was outrageous,

2363
02:03:19,039 --> 02:03:23,079
as if they were selling magic pills. Here is the

2364
02:03:23,119 --> 02:03:26,000
conversation I had with a cashier in a Dunkin Donuts

2365
02:03:26,000 --> 02:03:31,039
in Ohio. Per, you speak funny, me, Hum, I have

2366
02:03:31,119 --> 02:03:34,920
an accent. I'm French Canadian? Per what do you mean?

2367
02:03:35,319 --> 02:03:35,399
Speaker 2: Me?

2368
02:03:35,960 --> 02:03:40,039
Speaker 1: Well, English isn't my first language. Per, So you're not

2369
02:03:40,159 --> 02:03:44,359
deaf because you speak really slowly and in a weird way. Me.

2370
02:03:44,840 --> 02:03:50,119
It's a French accent. Per Okay, I understand, Okay, it's

2371
02:03:50,159 --> 02:03:51,239
a Canadian accent.

2372
02:03:51,640 --> 02:03:52,000
Speaker 2: Weird.

2373
02:03:52,520 --> 02:03:55,760
Speaker 1: I mean, they weren't wrong, it is a Canadian accent.

2374
02:03:57,479 --> 02:03:59,520
First city I came to when the US was to

2375
02:03:59,680 --> 02:04:02,760
LA and went to Malibu Beach with a friend. My

2376
02:04:02,880 --> 02:04:05,920
first reaction was I was told there would be fat people.

2377
02:04:06,239 --> 02:04:09,119
Everyone were fit as freak. I was ashamed to take

2378
02:04:09,159 --> 02:04:13,000
off my shirt. Ah yeah, see, fat people don't go

2379
02:04:13,119 --> 02:04:16,640
to the beach as a fat person. I can confirm this.

2380
02:04:17,159 --> 02:04:19,439
If we do, we spend all our time in at

2381
02:04:19,520 --> 02:04:22,399
least shoulder depth water while we stare at the beautiful

2382
02:04:22,439 --> 02:04:26,439
beach bodies we'll never get to touch. I was in

2383
02:04:26,520 --> 02:04:29,600
Ella two thousand and two went into a petrol station

2384
02:04:29,760 --> 02:04:32,600
in Inglewood on my way to West Hollywood. There was

2385
02:04:32,600 --> 02:04:35,439
an old Korean guy behind the counter and one middle

2386
02:04:35,479 --> 02:04:38,560
aged white women shopping. Two minutes after I walked in,

2387
02:04:38,600 --> 02:04:41,520
a low rider with five black guys rolled into the station.

2388
02:04:42,000 --> 02:04:44,319
Now I'm black, but I'm from London, but these guys

2389
02:04:44,359 --> 02:04:47,159
looked gangster as heck and were all black. Four of

2390
02:04:47,239 --> 02:04:49,960
them walked into the shop while one was pumping petrol.

2391
02:04:50,239 --> 02:04:52,640
The moment they walked in, they started swearing at the

2392
02:04:52,680 --> 02:04:55,920
old Korean guy, cussing him out. This went on for

2393
02:04:56,079 --> 02:04:58,560
half a minute. Me and the old white lady looked

2394
02:04:58,560 --> 02:05:00,800
at each and both thought this place was going to

2395
02:05:00,840 --> 02:05:04,000
get robbed. The old Korean guy was standing behind the

2396
02:05:04,039 --> 02:05:06,399
counter and had this calm look on his face the

2397
02:05:06,439 --> 02:05:08,560
whole time, And as soon they were done swearing, he

2398
02:05:08,760 --> 02:05:11,600
just came out said, you black soul eating mothersuckers, need

2399
02:05:11,680 --> 02:05:14,960
shut your big lips because I don't understand one word

2400
02:05:15,039 --> 02:05:17,760
of what you just said. Everything went quiet, and I

2401
02:05:17,840 --> 02:05:20,520
started to crouch down, thinking this where I'm.

2402
02:05:20,319 --> 02:05:21,119
Speaker 2: Going to die.

2403
02:05:21,479 --> 02:05:23,840
Speaker 1: Just as I started to hide, all the black guys

2404
02:05:23,840 --> 02:05:26,640
burst out, laughing and befalling all over each other, and

2405
02:05:26,680 --> 02:05:29,680
the old Korean man was laughing as well. It turns

2406
02:05:29,720 --> 02:05:31,920
out this how they greet each other every time they

2407
02:05:31,960 --> 02:05:34,520
come into the shop. Me the old white lady had

2408
02:05:34,520 --> 02:05:37,720
the exact same look of relief on our faces. It

2409
02:05:37,800 --> 02:05:42,600
was like scene out of Russia. First time visiting New

2410
02:05:42,720 --> 02:05:45,840
York City. On our first night, my wife and I

2411
02:05:45,920 --> 02:05:48,520
stayed at a hotel just through the tunnel in New Jersey.

2412
02:05:48,760 --> 02:05:51,119
We're just leaving a diner to walk back to our

2413
02:05:51,119 --> 02:05:53,720
hotel when a bakery van is tea boned right in

2414
02:05:53,800 --> 02:05:56,640
front of us by a speeding sedan. The van has

2415
02:05:56,680 --> 02:06:00,199
hit so hard that it flips over, spilling stuff everywhere where.

2416
02:06:00,560 --> 02:06:04,800
The sedan, half totaled, spins around and begins to speed off.

2417
02:06:05,119 --> 02:06:08,000
My wife and I are sprinting towards the van as

2418
02:06:08,039 --> 02:06:11,039
the driver is still inside. I stopped to try and

2419
02:06:11,159 --> 02:06:13,239
get a plate number of the hit and runner as

2420
02:06:13,239 --> 02:06:15,840
he speeds past us, and he nearly kills me in

2421
02:06:15,880 --> 02:06:19,039
the process. The driver of the bakery van is stumbling

2422
02:06:19,079 --> 02:06:22,039
injured down the sidewalk while his smoking vehicle lies on

2423
02:06:22,119 --> 02:06:25,079
its side in the middle of the intersection. My wife

2424
02:06:25,119 --> 02:06:28,920
is screaming call nine one one as we try to

2425
02:06:28,960 --> 02:06:31,560
get him to sit down and rest. He's in shark

2426
02:06:31,960 --> 02:06:34,479
mumbling about how he's going to be late for work.

2427
02:06:34,880 --> 02:06:38,079
State cops and an ambulance showed up pretty quickly. They

2428
02:06:38,119 --> 02:06:40,720
took statements from us about the hits and run and

2429
02:06:40,840 --> 02:06:42,039
took my photo.

2430
02:06:41,720 --> 02:06:42,640
Speaker 2: Within the process.

2431
02:06:42,880 --> 02:06:46,479
Speaker 1: The Canadian how the cop asked staying in town here

2432
02:06:46,800 --> 02:06:50,520
yet I replied it our first night. The cop smirks

2433
02:06:50,520 --> 02:06:52,439
at me and goes, what do you think so far?

2434
02:06:54,159 --> 02:06:56,079
I lived in the Midwest as a kid, but I

2435
02:06:56,119 --> 02:06:59,159
am Australian. I had a woman who genuinely thought we

2436
02:06:59,239 --> 02:07:02,199
took a bridge to get to America from Australia. I

2437
02:07:02,239 --> 02:07:04,199
had a teacher who would not let me into the

2438
02:07:04,199 --> 02:07:06,760
classroom in the morning unless I said a dingoes still

2439
02:07:06,800 --> 02:07:08,800
to my baby. I was in grade too and had

2440
02:07:08,840 --> 02:07:11,600
no clue what it meant. This same teacher would make

2441
02:07:11,680 --> 02:07:14,960
me recite the Pledge of Allegiance. My sister showed up

2442
02:07:14,960 --> 02:07:17,199
on the first day of school to find the discipline

2443
02:07:17,199 --> 02:07:20,439
corner was Australia with a badly drawn map that didn't

2444
02:07:20,520 --> 02:07:24,760
include Tasmania because that was where the convicts go. And lastly,

2445
02:07:24,800 --> 02:07:27,960
the men of people, children and adults asking me if

2446
02:07:28,000 --> 02:07:31,880
we rode kangaroos, that discipline corner should be enough to

2447
02:07:31,920 --> 02:07:35,000
report the teacher because as of these we hate foreigners.

2448
02:07:35,039 --> 02:07:40,039
Reminding our Convic history. Walking into a supermarket and seeing

2449
02:07:40,079 --> 02:07:42,600
the endless serial lanes in the amount you can choose

2450
02:07:42,600 --> 02:07:45,920
from blew my mind. Also, when I was working in

2451
02:07:45,960 --> 02:07:48,800
a camp over a summer, I was devastated to see

2452
02:07:48,800 --> 02:07:51,199
that the people who ran the place would actually choose

2453
02:07:51,239 --> 02:07:55,279
to use throwaway dishes, cups and cutlerries instead of normal ones.

2454
02:07:55,680 --> 02:07:58,159
I don't know if that's typical, but it sure hurt

2455
02:07:58,199 --> 02:08:00,640
my he co protecting side to see all the waste

2456
02:08:00,800 --> 02:08:03,560
just one day would generate. Had a good time though,

2457
02:08:05,159 --> 02:08:08,319
fifteen year old me took a trip to a walmut

2458
02:08:08,359 --> 02:08:13,520
near capcod. Firstly, your skittle's a different UK. Grape equals BlackBerry,

2459
02:08:13,760 --> 02:08:18,119
apple equals lime and grape candy is weird. Secondly, my

2460
02:08:18,279 --> 02:08:20,840
father saying man or the fat people must be a myth,

2461
02:08:20,880 --> 02:08:23,399
followed by morbidly a beast man on a scooter who

2462
02:08:23,479 --> 02:08:26,279
also happened to be a shriner. Yet, if scooter had

2463
02:08:26,279 --> 02:08:29,359
horitic anti Arab text on it. Back in the good

2464
02:08:29,359 --> 02:08:31,960
old days, Skittles used to have lime instead of apple

2465
02:08:32,000 --> 02:08:34,720
in the US. Then nine to eleven happened, and nothing

2466
02:08:34,840 --> 02:08:38,880
was the same. I went to the Daytona five hundred

2467
02:08:38,920 --> 02:08:41,920
in two thousand and eight. An obese lady sitting next

2468
02:08:41,920 --> 02:08:44,880
to me ate a large turkey leg and proceeded to

2469
02:08:45,000 --> 02:08:47,800
wash her hands with her beer afterwards because she didn't

2470
02:08:47,800 --> 02:08:50,359
have the energy to go to the washroom. This is

2471
02:08:50,399 --> 02:08:53,119
so American. I stood up and started saying the pledge

2472
02:08:53,119 --> 02:08:57,880
of allegiance. Big fat guy at the Grand Canyon loudly

2473
02:08:57,920 --> 02:09:01,640
informing his family that the geological information signs were plainly

2474
02:09:01,680 --> 02:09:05,800
incorrect because they conflicted with scripture. Also, my wife had

2475
02:09:05,800 --> 02:09:09,000
a miscarriage while we were there. The healthcare system kind

2476
02:09:09,000 --> 02:09:11,920
of worked okay for us because we had travel insurance

2477
02:09:11,960 --> 02:09:14,520
to cover the costs of all treatments. But I would

2478
02:09:14,520 --> 02:09:18,199
sure hate to be poor in your country when I

2479
02:09:18,279 --> 02:09:20,800
went to Bliscon and there were people with Jesus hateses.

2480
02:09:20,880 --> 02:09:24,199
Video game signs might not be the exact words on

2481
02:09:24,239 --> 02:09:28,119
the signs, but the message is the same. You put

2482
02:09:28,119 --> 02:09:30,880
a man on the moon almost fifty years ago, yet

2483
02:09:30,920 --> 02:09:33,039
you haven't come up with a way to make toilet

2484
02:09:33,119 --> 02:09:37,560
doors without gaps in them. Oh, we have, it's just cheaper,

2485
02:09:37,600 --> 02:09:42,000
not too I once bought gum in Buffalo, n Y.

2486
02:09:42,079 --> 02:09:45,000
And I told the cashier I had exact change, and

2487
02:09:45,079 --> 02:09:47,800
she looked at me square in the iron, said sir,

2488
02:09:48,079 --> 02:09:52,760
I honestly don't give a crap brit here rather than

2489
02:09:52,840 --> 02:09:55,359
get the usual, do you know the Queen? A guy

2490
02:09:55,359 --> 02:09:57,560
in a bar asked me what the bridge was called

2491
02:09:57,560 --> 02:10:01,079
that connected England to Scotland. Old him, I didn't know

2492
02:10:01,760 --> 02:10:06,520
Hadrian's Bridge. Being greeted sir, how are you doing by

2493
02:10:06,520 --> 02:10:09,760
a young soldier in Austin Airport who just got back

2494
02:10:09,760 --> 02:10:13,399
from service in Afghanistan. This would never happen in India,

2495
02:10:13,680 --> 02:10:16,079
because anyone with a uniform here thinks they are a

2496
02:10:16,159 --> 02:10:19,600
superior species and others are merely to be tolerated. This

2497
02:10:19,760 --> 02:10:24,279
apart was just pleasantly unbelievable, pure gentleman linus that too,

2498
02:10:24,319 --> 02:10:28,760
towards a brown skinned foreigner. On my first day in

2499
02:10:28,800 --> 02:10:31,159
the USA, I saw someone who was at least as

2500
02:10:31,199 --> 02:10:34,000
fat as anyone I had ever seen before in my life.

2501
02:10:34,199 --> 02:10:36,920
On each subsequent day while I was in the USA,

2502
02:10:37,039 --> 02:10:38,680
I saw someone at least as fat.

2503
02:10:38,720 --> 02:10:39,039
Speaker 2: Again.

2504
02:10:39,439 --> 02:10:41,920
Speaker 1: My family made it a game to spot the fattest

2505
02:10:41,920 --> 02:10:47,720
person each day. The backwards writing on the roads down slow.

2506
02:10:48,119 --> 02:10:50,520
It's like someone assumed your gaze is fixed as you

2507
02:10:50,640 --> 02:10:54,119
drive along, so you see the slow first, then the down.

2508
02:10:54,520 --> 02:10:57,880
But that's not how people read. That's more for traffic.

2509
02:10:58,239 --> 02:11:00,720
If the car in front of you drives, the writing,

2510
02:11:01,079 --> 02:11:03,319
the first thing that your sea will be slow, which

2511
02:11:03,359 --> 02:11:08,000
is more important than seeing down first. This may seem

2512
02:11:08,039 --> 02:11:10,560
minor that I've only been to Maine and I found

2513
02:11:10,560 --> 02:11:12,800
it very odd that people would have opened Bibles in

2514
02:11:12,840 --> 02:11:17,119
their windows facing out. Do people randomly stop to read them.

2515
02:11:17,520 --> 02:11:20,680
This wasn't just one or two homes. It was menet

2516
02:11:21,000 --> 02:11:24,319
American here. I have no clue, but that is really weird.

2517
02:11:26,000 --> 02:11:30,119
Had my first experience of the US in NYC. Disclaimer,

2518
02:11:30,439 --> 02:11:33,479
I found it incredible. The people super friendly and a

2519
02:11:33,600 --> 02:11:36,760
ranger's game blew my mind. A homeless woman doing the

2520
02:11:36,800 --> 02:11:39,840
toilet on an underground train then getting angry at people

2521
02:11:39,880 --> 02:11:43,680
for looking at her was probably my WTF highlight during

2522
02:11:43,720 --> 02:11:44,279
the toilet.

2523
02:11:44,600 --> 02:11:45,199
Speaker 2: I love it.

2524
02:11:46,840 --> 02:11:50,319
Speaker 1: Visiting different parts of the US can be kind of WTF.

2525
02:11:50,640 --> 02:11:53,880
I'm originally from the Northeast and visiting the Midwest. We

2526
02:11:53,920 --> 02:11:56,159
stopped in a minutes and that was a culture shark.

2527
02:11:56,479 --> 02:11:59,720
If you want some lumber, a lawn mower, a dress shirt,

2528
02:12:00,039 --> 02:12:03,520
a frozen pizza, a gallon of milk, a fishing pole,

2529
02:12:03,840 --> 02:12:06,720
a toy for your knees, and a giant assorted bag

2530
02:12:06,800 --> 02:12:11,520
of candy, menace is your one stop shop at sea

2531
02:12:11,520 --> 02:12:13,319
where ald I got out of the way to let

2532
02:12:13,359 --> 02:12:16,079
a person in a motorized scooter behind me see into

2533
02:12:16,119 --> 02:12:18,720
the tank. They got up then and walked forward and

2534
02:12:18,760 --> 02:12:22,039
took my place against the glass. I was really confused.

2535
02:12:22,359 --> 02:12:25,520
I didn't understand that some non paralyzed people choose to

2536
02:12:25,640 --> 02:12:28,520
use motorized scooters. I have yet to see this in

2537
02:12:28,560 --> 02:12:31,600
any other country. Ad It to be clear, guys, I'm

2538
02:12:31,640 --> 02:12:35,159
not putting people down for using scutters, just it surprised

2539
02:12:35,199 --> 02:12:38,640
me since I had never encountered partially disabled people using

2540
02:12:38,640 --> 02:12:41,439
them until I traveled to the States. When I see

2541
02:12:41,439 --> 02:12:44,239
a motorized abe of any kind, I assume the person

2542
02:12:44,319 --> 02:12:48,279
is severely disabled, like they have a degenerative muscular condition,

2543
02:12:48,640 --> 02:12:51,359
because this has always been the case where I'm from.

2544
02:12:51,760 --> 02:12:54,800
I thought someone was breaking cover and openly revealing that

2545
02:12:54,840 --> 02:12:57,800
they had been faking paralysis in front of a crowd.

2546
02:12:58,159 --> 02:13:01,680
I expected the crowd to react. It is extremely unusual

2547
02:13:01,760 --> 02:13:04,920
for a non paralyzed person to use a motorized wheelchair,

2548
02:13:05,000 --> 02:13:09,159
let alone scooter outside America. Edit too, I've started a

2549
02:13:09,199 --> 02:13:12,800
bad thing in the comments. I didn't intend. My WTF

2550
02:13:12,840 --> 02:13:15,840
came from not understanding what I was seeing at the time.

2551
02:13:16,199 --> 02:13:19,680
The way you use motorized chairs is potentially confusing for

2552
02:13:19,720 --> 02:13:23,279
people from countries where motorized chairs are used exclusively by

2553
02:13:23,319 --> 02:13:27,479
paralyzed people. This was my lack of experience as an outsider,

2554
02:13:27,560 --> 02:13:31,119
and not a condemnation. I know better now. I didn't

2555
02:13:31,159 --> 02:13:34,079
mean to add to her pre existing debate between Americans

2556
02:13:34,079 --> 02:13:38,359
about your use of scutters. I was once nursing a

2557
02:13:38,399 --> 02:13:40,760
sore throat to New York and I was walking down

2558
02:13:40,800 --> 02:13:43,119
this long stairway to get to the subway, and I

2559
02:13:43,279 --> 02:13:46,159
was clearing my throat. As soon as I got down,

2560
02:13:46,199 --> 02:13:48,960
this elderish gentleman turned around and yelled, if you have

2561
02:13:49,039 --> 02:13:52,000
a problem with emy, just fricking say I t I

2562
02:13:52,279 --> 02:13:54,880
just stared at him like the awkward seal meme. It's

2563
02:13:54,920 --> 02:14:00,000
definitely WTF America. I'm from England and studied at College

2564
02:14:00,279 --> 02:14:03,039
GA four a year. I was about twenty four at

2565
02:14:03,079 --> 02:14:06,439
a time. Late starter, so I was more than accustomed

2566
02:14:06,479 --> 02:14:10,680
to enjoying the occasional alcoholic beverage. Anyway, I make the

2567
02:14:10,800 --> 02:14:13,520
short trip to a gas station in order to buy

2568
02:14:13,520 --> 02:14:15,840
a six pack, and they ask me for it. I

2569
02:14:15,880 --> 02:14:19,640
willingly offer my British passport to the cashier with a smile,

2570
02:14:19,680 --> 02:14:23,520
and I'm told that they don't accept it. WTF, it's

2571
02:14:23,560 --> 02:14:28,119
a BP gas station, British Petroleum, seriously, pee me off.

2572
02:14:29,720 --> 02:14:32,159
Was staying in a hotel in Boston. One of the

2573
02:14:32,199 --> 02:14:35,199
workers there was fascinated by my accent and asked where

2574
02:14:35,199 --> 02:14:38,479
I was from. I said Island, to which he replied, o'cool,

2575
02:14:38,840 --> 02:14:41,319
So where is Island? I never thought I'd have to

2576
02:14:41,359 --> 02:14:44,359
give directions to island, but it kind of boiled down

2577
02:14:44,439 --> 02:14:46,880
to come out of the hotel, take a left, and

2578
02:14:46,960 --> 02:14:52,000
keep going for about four thousand, five hundred km's at

2579
02:14:52,079 --> 02:14:55,279
least thirty huge women marching into a walmart in a

2580
02:14:55,319 --> 02:14:58,439
single file line, almost all of them with whole stood

2581
02:14:58,479 --> 02:15:01,319
handguns on their belts. All of them went straight to

2582
02:15:01,359 --> 02:15:05,840
the McDonald's, never breaking formation, never saying a word except

2583
02:15:05,840 --> 02:15:09,199
to the cashier. It was majestic, like a squadron of

2584
02:15:09,239 --> 02:15:13,920
fully armed zeppelin floating by during World War II. When

2585
02:15:14,000 --> 02:15:17,039
we entered the US at Niagara border crossing, we had

2586
02:15:17,039 --> 02:15:20,159
to fill out some ridiculous forms. It even asked if

2587
02:15:20,199 --> 02:15:24,680
I took part in Nazi Germany's crimes. WTF, dude, I

2588
02:15:24,880 --> 02:15:27,439
was fourteen years old back in two thousand and eight,

2589
02:15:28,000 --> 02:15:33,239
go to catch those compulsively honest time traveling Nazis. I

2590
02:15:33,840 --> 02:15:37,479
eight am a family of four sitting around a table

2591
02:15:37,560 --> 02:15:40,479
meant for six. The dad had to use two chairs

2592
02:15:40,920 --> 02:15:44,319
inhaling pancakes, and just the night before, I was telling

2593
02:15:44,359 --> 02:15:47,640
my American I don't know why Americans are considered fat.

2594
02:15:49,119 --> 02:15:52,720
When I visited the La area a few years back, Canadians,

2595
02:15:53,159 --> 02:15:55,399
my buddy and I needed to get from Venice Beach

2596
02:15:55,479 --> 02:15:58,039
to downtown so we can catch the Lakers game and

2597
02:15:58,119 --> 02:16:00,600
check into our hostel. We decid I did to just

2598
02:16:00,640 --> 02:16:03,960
take the city bus over. Two separate times we drove

2599
02:16:04,039 --> 02:16:07,039
by three four guys face down with cops pointing guns

2600
02:16:07,039 --> 02:16:12,039
at them. Seemed very America. The laws on alcohol always

2601
02:16:12,039 --> 02:16:14,840
baffles me. You can get in a car at sixteen,

2602
02:16:15,319 --> 02:16:17,920
but you can't get near a bar till you're twenty one.

2603
02:16:18,319 --> 02:16:20,880
In France, you can't drink all chudle in a bar

2604
02:16:21,000 --> 02:16:24,319
till sixteen for beer and eighteen for stronger all channel,

2605
02:16:24,600 --> 02:16:27,520
but no law against drinking alcohol if brought by adults.

2606
02:16:27,880 --> 02:16:32,479
It's the adult responsibility. When we was in Utah, we

2607
02:16:32,520 --> 02:16:35,920
sat in a restaurant and ordered some food, beers, and whiskey,

2608
02:16:36,200 --> 02:16:38,719
and we wanted to order a second round of beers

2609
02:16:39,040 --> 02:16:41,760
if the waiter told us that we can't drink that

2610
02:16:41,840 --> 02:16:44,280
much of alcohol in an hour, so we have to

2611
02:16:44,319 --> 02:16:50,000
wait an hour. Seriously, WTF. That's not America, that's Utah.

2612
02:16:50,239 --> 02:16:54,840
Come up to Wisconsin. We have no such inhibition. Do

2613
02:16:54,920 --> 02:16:57,760
you intend to enter the United States to commit a crime?

2614
02:16:58,040 --> 02:17:00,680
Ever since I read that back in the early nineties,

2615
02:17:01,000 --> 02:17:06,920
I've wondered how many people take yes, wtf. Indeed, on holiday,

2616
02:17:06,920 --> 02:17:10,440
when I was about twelve in Province Down, Massachusetts, two

2617
02:17:10,479 --> 02:17:15,000
insanely fat I mean, like sopher sized lesbians trundling down

2618
02:17:15,040 --> 02:17:17,319
the middle of the road side by side on mobility

2619
02:17:17,360 --> 02:17:21,399
scooters whilst holding hands. I know they were lesbians because

2620
02:17:21,440 --> 02:17:25,239
one of them started making quite aggressively sexual passes.

2621
02:17:24,840 --> 02:17:25,639
Speaker 2: At my mum.

2622
02:17:25,959 --> 02:17:29,159
Speaker 1: Well Ptown is the gayest place on the entire East

2623
02:17:29,239 --> 02:17:32,760
Coast nowadays. That's kind of the whole point of the

2624
02:17:32,799 --> 02:17:36,959
town or some place to visit. Just do your research beforehand,

2625
02:17:37,319 --> 02:17:40,000
since there are several themed weeks and events that cater

2626
02:17:40,120 --> 02:17:44,120
to certain crowds and tastes. If you are new to

2627
02:17:44,159 --> 02:17:48,319
the channel, you can subscribe. I publish new videos every day.

2628
02:17:48,719 --> 02:18:00,479
Until then check another video.

2629
02:18:22,120 --> 02:18:22,879
Speaker 2: Bye for now.