WEBVTT 1 00:00:55.240 --> 00:00:58.439 Ripley, Come on, try to start this show. Welcome back 2 00:00:58.520 --> 00:01:02.520 midnight viewers. Do Father Belove Weekly Roundup. I'm Father Malone 3 00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:04.959 and here with me getting to the bottom of all 4 00:01:04.959 --> 00:01:08.439 these hauntings and possessions is miss Ripley. Gen how we're 5 00:01:08.439 --> 00:01:13.200 gonna get rid of all these wraiths Ripley ghostbusters? Only 6 00:01:13.200 --> 00:01:16.239 if we can salad Barrett. We'll take Winston. What's the 7 00:01:16.280 --> 00:01:20.680 name of that kid, Phoebe Chris Hemsworth. No, he's the secretary, 8 00:01:20.879 --> 00:01:23.439 He's not a ghostbuster. If we're just choosing any random 9 00:01:23.519 --> 00:01:25.879 character that shows up in the films, We're rounding out 10 00:01:25.879 --> 00:01:28.840 our team with Race Dance as blowjob ghost. I can 11 00:01:28.879 --> 00:01:31.599 already tell she'll be a valuable asset. I'll tell you 12 00:01:31.599 --> 00:01:35.079 who we can actually turn to as paranormal investigators. That's 13 00:01:35.079 --> 00:01:37.439 our theme this week. Because there was fuck all in 14 00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:40.000 new releases I was gonna go see in the theater. 15 00:01:40.359 --> 00:01:43.799 We're enjoying paranormal investigators that are courtesy of two of 16 00:01:43.840 --> 00:01:47.599 the finest UK fantasists of all time. Those are Alan 17 00:01:47.640 --> 00:01:51.680 Moore and Clive Barker. Fuck you, Neil Gamon. All right, 18 00:01:51.719 --> 00:01:57.120 we got TCB baby. That's TCB Mama. Hello, listeners follow 19 00:01:57.120 --> 00:02:00.319 them alone. Here this show This Toice a week that 20 00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:04.120 is slowly killing me is a one man band situation, 21 00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:07.879 one man and one dog band. But Ripley can't make 22 00:02:07.920 --> 00:02:10.800 cover art or type in episode synopsis with time codes, 23 00:02:11.400 --> 00:02:14.719 so any help is wildly appreciated. I do not expect 24 00:02:14.719 --> 00:02:16.960 a dime from anyone, but if you could do the 25 00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:21.199 free things, just hitting follow or subscribe or on whatever 26 00:02:21.400 --> 00:02:23.719 device you're listening on, or give it all the stars, 27 00:02:23.800 --> 00:02:26.639 give it thumbs up, give it a smiley face, whatever, 28 00:02:26.919 --> 00:02:30.560 fucking share the show. All these help the show reach 29 00:02:30.639 --> 00:02:33.599 more people. And if you're doing it, thank you. But 30 00:02:33.719 --> 00:02:35.719 if you do want to send a few bucks my way, 31 00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:38.800 that too would be appreciated. Not only am I devoting 32 00:02:38.840 --> 00:02:41.000 half my waking life to the show, but sometimes I 33 00:02:41.039 --> 00:02:43.560 even commit my own damned money. I had to go 34 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:45.919 pick up a Blue Raider refresh my memory this week. 35 00:02:46.080 --> 00:02:48.800 There that's the end of that business. Here's some follow up, though. 36 00:02:48.840 --> 00:02:52.240 I've continued on with Yellow Jackets season three, and you know, 37 00:02:53.120 --> 00:02:56.159 I might dip out and return next season and watch 38 00:02:56.240 --> 00:02:58.159 everything in a recap, or maybe I'll just check out 39 00:02:58.199 --> 00:03:01.039 the season finale with the recap. That's starts it. I 40 00:03:01.120 --> 00:03:03.400 knew the present day storyline was spinning its wheels, but 41 00:03:03.439 --> 00:03:07.400 now our wilderness flashback is hand in hand, just skipping 42 00:03:07.479 --> 00:03:11.840 around without any fucking purpose. Moreover, whatever actions the younger 43 00:03:11.919 --> 00:03:16.319 characters do engage in makes me hate them and therefore 44 00:03:16.400 --> 00:03:20.000 hate their older selves, I'm now looking forward to their 45 00:03:20.039 --> 00:03:24.919 punishment as adults. If that's the creator's intent, bravo, And 46 00:03:25.000 --> 00:03:27.759 when it pays off, I'm going to applaud. But if 47 00:03:27.800 --> 00:03:30.280 you aren't trying to make me hate them, then maybe 48 00:03:30.319 --> 00:03:33.680 having this season basically be light comedy with their characters 49 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:36.560 is a mistake. If you're uninitiated, let me try to 50 00:03:36.599 --> 00:03:40.080 describe the wild variance in tone. In a previous season, 51 00:03:40.199 --> 00:03:42.639 we discovered that one of our leads had made an 52 00:03:42.680 --> 00:03:45.919 altar in their basement to whatever dark God had held 53 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:48.360 sway in them while they were stranded in the wilderness. 54 00:03:48.759 --> 00:03:52.199 On this altar was a dog's head. Their dog said 55 00:03:52.479 --> 00:03:56.520 that they had sacrificed to the darkness. This season, that 56 00:03:56.680 --> 00:03:59.919 character engages in some playful died and dash with her 57 00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:04.360 girlfriend while the Sunday's Dreams lilts over the soundtrack. I 58 00:04:04.439 --> 00:04:06.400 know we're living in a world now where seemingly a 59 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:10.080 third of the population can willfully forget shit. That's right. 60 00:04:10.120 --> 00:04:12.719 You can solace yourself with that little nugget of encouragement. 61 00:04:12.879 --> 00:04:15.520 All the super assholes in America, they are only one 62 00:04:15.560 --> 00:04:19.000 third of the population and can be easily overwhelmed. They 63 00:04:19.079 --> 00:04:21.680 might be expecting viewers to forget, but I don't forget shit, 64 00:04:21.959 --> 00:04:25.480 particularly when this was only nine episodes ago. You know what, 65 00:04:25.639 --> 00:04:28.720 while I'm ranting about killing animals in popular entertainment, at 66 00:04:28.759 --> 00:04:32.279 least in yellow Jackets, that dog was sacrificed with a purpose. 67 00:04:32.759 --> 00:04:35.160 There's a flick from two thousand and five called Winter 68 00:04:35.319 --> 00:04:39.040 Passing with Ed Harris and Will Ferrell and Amy Madigan. 69 00:04:39.319 --> 00:04:42.360 Zooey Deschanel is the star. The movie opens with her 70 00:04:42.639 --> 00:04:45.600 drowning her kitten. I guess it was a challenge the 71 00:04:45.600 --> 00:04:49.839 filmmakers threw down. Can she come back from that? No? Nope, 72 00:04:50.079 --> 00:04:52.920 fuck you. I watched the rest of the movie. I 73 00:04:53.000 --> 00:04:56.240 noted all the performances and the filmmaking technique, and it 74 00:04:56.319 --> 00:04:59.399 was worth fuck all. On the most recent anthologies, Attack 75 00:04:59.480 --> 00:05:03.839 Antonio and I briefly touched on the incentivizing the lionizing 76 00:05:03.879 --> 00:05:06.000 of villainy over the past twenty five years or so, 77 00:05:06.399 --> 00:05:09.560 shows like Breaking Bad and every fucking thing Dennis Leary 78 00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:11.920 ever put out there. He's a cop who takes pills 79 00:05:11.920 --> 00:05:14.399 and cheats on his wife. Now he's a firefighter who 80 00:05:14.439 --> 00:05:16.560 takes pills and cheats on his wife. Now he's a 81 00:05:16.560 --> 00:05:19.279 sabertoothed tiger who takes pills and cheats on his wife. Gee. 82 00:05:19.279 --> 00:05:20.879 I don't want to say Dennis Leary's trying to tell 83 00:05:20.920 --> 00:05:23.319 us something, but has anyone done a wellness check on 84 00:05:23.399 --> 00:05:27.600 him or his wife? Shows like That or The Sopranos. 85 00:05:27.879 --> 00:05:30.199 What we thought was a dissection of and an attempt 86 00:05:30.279 --> 00:05:33.439 to understand how evil can operate ended up being a 87 00:05:33.480 --> 00:05:37.800 fucking recruitment film. So maybe Zooey da Chanelle's character had 88 00:05:37.800 --> 00:05:40.519 a terrible upbringing with a distant father. Well, we can 89 00:05:40.560 --> 00:05:43.000 all relate, But in my darkest moments, it would never 90 00:05:43.040 --> 00:05:44.759 occur to me to hurt the thing that loves me 91 00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:47.079 the most. And listen, I'm a guy who believes in 92 00:05:47.160 --> 00:05:50.759 third and fourth chances, But when a character gleefully stomps 93 00:05:50.759 --> 00:05:55.519 on innocence, they're no longer something I care for beyond clinically. Yeah, 94 00:05:55.639 --> 00:05:59.160 fuck all these humans, and that's my yellow Jacket's update. 95 00:06:00.160 --> 00:06:02.600 I said they only had three seasons in them. What 96 00:06:02.680 --> 00:06:04.560 are the bits of business have I been up to? 97 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:05.680 Oh? 98 00:06:06.079 --> 00:06:09.680 Alien Isolation, I'm fully back into it. I am saving 99 00:06:09.680 --> 00:06:12.680 my pennies for that Star Wars Outlaw game, though that's 100 00:06:12.680 --> 00:06:15.319 my next thing. I just want a big, open world 101 00:06:15.399 --> 00:06:18.160 and the ability to destabilize as much of the Empire 102 00:06:18.240 --> 00:06:21.079 as possible till then. I'm hiding in lockers and I'm 103 00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:24.120 scurrying down hallways and I'm holding my breath and watching 104 00:06:24.120 --> 00:06:27.920 shadows and praying the goddamn alien will go away. If 105 00:06:27.959 --> 00:06:30.680 they do a VR version of Alien Isolation, i am 106 00:06:30.759 --> 00:06:33.759 not going to play it. That fucking game feels like 107 00:06:33.800 --> 00:06:37.240 the first movie way more than just Look and Interactivity? 108 00:06:37.519 --> 00:06:40.399 Did anyone ever play that adaptation of the thing? That's 109 00:06:40.399 --> 00:06:43.040 a really good one too. I must sound demented. My 110 00:06:43.120 --> 00:06:48.040 favorite video games are driven alternatively by paranoia and dread. Luckily, 111 00:06:48.199 --> 00:06:50.920 those areas are the domains of our lead characters in 112 00:06:50.959 --> 00:06:55.480 both of our picks this week. Paranormal investigators. Everywhere you 113 00:06:55.519 --> 00:06:58.160 look these days, you'll find them. Throw a rock and 114 00:06:58.199 --> 00:07:00.720 you'll hit one and do me a theyve a fink, 115 00:07:01.360 --> 00:07:05.279 throw it hard. Everyone is searching for them, spooks looking 116 00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:07.959 high and low, for the phantoms and the ghoules. Some 117 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:10.759 people have turned it into a big business. There are 118 00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:14.720 entire television series predicated on exposing the supernatural, and yet 119 00:07:14.800 --> 00:07:17.959 somehow never doing that and staying on the air for 120 00:07:18.279 --> 00:07:21.759 fuck decades. Speaking of Charlatan's, I used to be a 121 00:07:21.800 --> 00:07:24.360 tour guide at the Haunted Museum here in Las Vegas, 122 00:07:24.680 --> 00:07:27.839 where they had us all signed NDAs and then lost 123 00:07:27.959 --> 00:07:32.600 those NDAs. I'm serious, man, I'm shocked they've never proven 124 00:07:32.639 --> 00:07:36.000 the existence of the other world. Not that I doubt 125 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:39.560 their sincerity, I will say that it's just their methods 126 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:42.279 that are questionable. You guys know what a spirit box is. 127 00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:47.040 It's basically a radio receiver which cycles through radio stations, 128 00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:51.360 focusing on the white noise in between the stations. Supposedly 129 00:07:51.519 --> 00:07:55.040 unfocused white noise acts as conduit for a particularly focused, 130 00:07:55.040 --> 00:07:58.199 in chatty spirit Okay, I've been around a spirit box 131 00:07:58.279 --> 00:08:00.800 hundreds of times. I've been around spa at boxes you've 132 00:08:00.800 --> 00:08:03.800 seen on television hundreds of times, and I have been 133 00:08:03.839 --> 00:08:05.839 weirded out by some of the words I've heard pomp 134 00:08:05.879 --> 00:08:08.240 out of the thing. And I'm also sure that there 135 00:08:08.279 --> 00:08:12.160 is nothing preloaded on it. But as someone who's had 136 00:08:12.199 --> 00:08:15.360 to power that thing on in the mornings and irregular maintenance. 137 00:08:15.759 --> 00:08:18.160 I can tell you those sounds and words and exclamations 138 00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:21.120 are just snatches that it's picking up from actual signals. 139 00:08:21.240 --> 00:08:23.079 So here in Vegas, that was a lot of Mariachi 140 00:08:23.199 --> 00:08:27.920 stations and a lot of car commercials stuff like that. 141 00:08:28.040 --> 00:08:30.079 I'm not saying there wasn't weird shit going on in 142 00:08:30.079 --> 00:08:33.039 that building, but it wasn't where any customers were seeing it, 143 00:08:33.720 --> 00:08:36.279 and that isn't some veiled message about anything any human 144 00:08:36.399 --> 00:08:40.399 was doing. I'm saying there were some unusual, unexplained phenomenon 145 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:43.799 that occurred there, but it was usually after hours or 146 00:08:43.840 --> 00:08:46.080 at least when there were very few people in the building. 147 00:08:46.440 --> 00:08:48.960 What that place needed was someone like Harry de Moore. 148 00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:52.399 Y'all know, Harry, you will. I've got a weird history 149 00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:55.080 with our first movie, but we'll get there. It's hard 150 00:08:55.080 --> 00:08:57.840 to remember a time before there was a hell Raiser 151 00:08:58.440 --> 00:09:01.279 or a Candy Man or the Night Breed, but there 152 00:09:01.360 --> 00:09:03.440 was a time when all of us horror fans heads 153 00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:05.799 spun around so hard that they might have popped off 154 00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:08.919 of our bodies. Thanks to a quote by mister Stephen King, 155 00:09:09.440 --> 00:09:11.919 I have seen the future of horror, and his name 156 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:14.759 is Clive Barker. That's all any of us needed. And 157 00:09:14.799 --> 00:09:16.720 now we were gobbling up the books of Blood as 158 00:09:16.759 --> 00:09:19.120 fast as they could publish them. By the time those 159 00:09:19.159 --> 00:09:22.120 books were coming out, Barker had already been a successful 160 00:09:22.200 --> 00:09:25.240 underground playwright in London, forming his own theater group, The 161 00:09:25.320 --> 00:09:30.159 Dog Company with Doug Bradley, That's Pinhead, y'all and Peter Atkins. 162 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:33.559 He wrote hell Raiser two, three and four, That's the 163 00:09:33.559 --> 00:09:36.440 one in space that needed a few xenomrps. Am I right. 164 00:09:37.000 --> 00:09:39.919 Unhappy with the director of his screenplays for Rawhead, Ranks 165 00:09:40.039 --> 00:09:43.919 and Underworld, Barker was prompted to make hell Raiser himself. 166 00:09:44.080 --> 00:09:46.480 That was followed by an adaptation of his novel Cabal, 167 00:09:46.559 --> 00:09:49.879 which became Night Breed, a criminally underrated feature we will 168 00:09:49.919 --> 00:09:52.600 be definitely talking about in the future. That film was 169 00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:55.519 a failure and didn't produce. The sequel that Clive Barker 170 00:09:55.600 --> 00:09:59.000 personally promised me was on the way. I literally ran 171 00:09:59.039 --> 00:10:01.600 into him in nineteen ninety two, and after all the 172 00:10:01.679 --> 00:10:03.840 I love you, I love your work business, I asked 173 00:10:03.919 --> 00:10:05.879 him if we were getting a sequel, and the man 174 00:10:05.919 --> 00:10:09.039 shook my hand and said it's on the way. I 175 00:10:09.159 --> 00:10:12.919 promise you're a dirty liar, Clive Barker, and my impression 176 00:10:12.919 --> 00:10:15.440 of you is terrible. His follow up ended up being 177 00:10:15.519 --> 00:10:18.639 another adaptation, but this was a short story from one 178 00:10:18.679 --> 00:10:20.919 of them there Books of Blood, in this case from 179 00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:24.879 volume six. The story was The Last Illusion, about a 180 00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:28.120 no nonsense private investigator named Harry de Moore hired to 181 00:10:28.159 --> 00:10:31.519 watch over the corpse of a recently deceased illusionist to 182 00:10:31.639 --> 00:10:34.440 protect it from the demons that he's assured will be 183 00:10:34.519 --> 00:10:37.360 coming for him. Damore would end up appearing in a 184 00:10:37.399 --> 00:10:39.440 clutch of other short stories, and then began to make 185 00:10:39.440 --> 00:10:42.519 appearances in some of Barker's novels like Weave World and 186 00:10:42.559 --> 00:10:46.000 The Great and Secret Show. In fact, twenty fifteen's The 187 00:10:46.039 --> 00:10:49.240 Scarlet Gospels is a full on Harry de Moore novel 188 00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:53.000 where the antagonist is the hell priest that's the actual 189 00:10:53.080 --> 00:10:56.840 name of Pinhead. He hates being called Pinhead Harrydmore in 190 00:10:56.879 --> 00:11:00.159 that first story, The Last Illusion is basically Philip Marlowe. 191 00:11:00.200 --> 00:11:03.679 Marlowe always seemed to stumble into things. As such, Dmor 192 00:11:03.799 --> 00:11:06.960 has no supernatural abilities. When the story begins, he's just 193 00:11:07.000 --> 00:11:09.480 come off his first case, which has only just made 194 00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:13.360 him a believer, But as the character evolved over the decades, 195 00:11:13.440 --> 00:11:16.000 he grew closer and closer to the platonic ideal of 196 00:11:16.039 --> 00:11:20.159 the paranormal investigator. Who could that be? We're talking about 197 00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:23.080 him next Right now, We're talking about the only on 198 00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:27.120 screen appearance of Harry de Moore nineteen ninety five's Lord 199 00:11:27.240 --> 00:11:28.039 of Illusions. 200 00:11:30.279 --> 00:11:41.799 Something is watching, something is listening, something is coming. 201 00:11:43.320 --> 00:11:44.279 How man you like. 202 00:11:46.440 --> 00:11:47.159 See the world? 203 00:11:47.519 --> 00:11:48.000 No way? 204 00:11:48.200 --> 00:11:53.720 Really is what's going on here? Detective Harry dmour is 205 00:11:53.759 --> 00:11:54.559 walking up path. 206 00:11:55.200 --> 00:11:56.200 I want you to help me. 207 00:11:56.799 --> 00:11:57.679 Will you take the job? 208 00:11:57.720 --> 00:11:58.279 Mister Damar? 209 00:11:58.559 --> 00:12:01.759 Where do I sign up? Between what can be seen? 210 00:12:02.080 --> 00:12:04.480 People are dying here? 211 00:12:04.559 --> 00:12:05.360 I want to know why. 212 00:12:05.519 --> 00:12:09.200 I've heard a name, somebody to talk about, a whispers? 213 00:12:10.039 --> 00:12:13.960 Who next? And what must be feared? 214 00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:14.919 This is that? 215 00:12:15.080 --> 00:12:15.399 And buried? 216 00:12:15.559 --> 00:12:17.919 Hell is wrong with your people? I think you've seen 217 00:12:18.159 --> 00:12:21.519 enough to know that doesn't matter. No, I don't. 218 00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:24.120 Want him getting in a way. I've all was waiting 219 00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:27.000 too long in ter the Homecoming. 220 00:12:26.759 --> 00:12:31.120 Oiled every step he takes. The drown the dark side 221 00:12:31.559 --> 00:12:35.120 don't buy that, not much, I'm sure Destiny, except that 222 00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:38.399 when he was hidden closer to the truths. You could 223 00:12:38.679 --> 00:12:43.559 get into people's heads, make them see things terrible friends see. 224 00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:46.960 That's his best trick. No illusions, just the truth. 225 00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:49.519 He makes his back from the dead. 226 00:12:50.519 --> 00:12:51.799 Then he is some kind of a. 227 00:12:51.840 --> 00:12:57.480 God in the world where magic is real, death is 228 00:12:57.559 --> 00:13:03.799 the ultimate illusion. I was born to murder the world. 229 00:13:12.039 --> 00:13:14.600 Are you ready for my wisdom? 230 00:13:17.240 --> 00:13:24.000 It's not real? You want to come with me? 231 00:13:24.279 --> 00:13:27.720 The more I've got so much power to give you. 232 00:13:29.600 --> 00:13:46.360 All you have to do spag Clive Bucker's Lord of Illusions. 233 00:13:52.320 --> 00:13:55.879 Ever been to a test screening? You line up hours beforehand, 234 00:13:56.200 --> 00:13:58.840 They jam you into whatever auditorium is the smallest, and 235 00:13:58.879 --> 00:14:02.000 whatever multiplex they figure is somehow far enough away from 236 00:14:02.080 --> 00:14:05.840 Hollywood to get an honest outside opinion, far flung regions 237 00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:09.919 like Marina del Rey or Cinta Monica. And after you 238 00:14:10.039 --> 00:14:14.240 have to fill out these ridiculous cards with ridiculously leading questions, 239 00:14:14.600 --> 00:14:17.200 and if you're especially unlucky, you'll get pulled out for 240 00:14:17.240 --> 00:14:19.559 a focus group after the majority of the audience has 241 00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:22.879 gone away. There you'll be treated to such revelations as 242 00:14:23.399 --> 00:14:26.759 I didn't like that character who the villain? Yeah, you 243 00:14:26.840 --> 00:14:30.000 weren't supposed to one of the many test screenings I 244 00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:33.679 went to was Lord of Illusions. In researching this episode, 245 00:14:33.720 --> 00:14:36.399 I discovered there were two test screenings, the director's cut, 246 00:14:36.720 --> 00:14:40.679 and then the MGM mandated twelve minutes shorter version. That's 247 00:14:40.720 --> 00:14:43.440 the version that was released in theaters. I was there 248 00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:46.039 for the first screening, where my fellow attendees helped to 249 00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:50.639 make a much more confused film for your viewing pleasure. Ordinarily, 250 00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:52.600 when you hear a horror movie had a dozen minutes 251 00:14:52.639 --> 00:14:54.720 cut out, you figure all of it is loving close 252 00:14:54.799 --> 00:14:58.639 ups of viscera or impaling. Nope, ten minutes of dialogue 253 00:14:58.639 --> 00:15:01.600 in a sex scene starring I don't need to know 254 00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:04.559 any of these characters' motivations or how the plot is functioning. 255 00:15:04.879 --> 00:15:07.480 Don't show me people relating to one another and finding 256 00:15:07.639 --> 00:15:10.519 solace and mutual trauma. Get to the action, which I 257 00:15:10.600 --> 00:15:14.799 will not understand. I was in the focus group. Some 258 00:15:14.919 --> 00:15:16.840 people did say there was too much talking and that 259 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:20.159 it was boring. They don't think they were wrong, not necessarily, 260 00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:23.159 They just didn't know how to express what was actually 261 00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:25.879 wrong with the film, and neither did I at that moment. 262 00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:29.240 My solution was to add more of the peripheral characters. 263 00:15:29.679 --> 00:15:32.200 But I find that true in all of Clive Barker's films, 264 00:15:32.399 --> 00:15:35.200 the heroes are kind of duds, ciphers for the audience 265 00:15:35.279 --> 00:15:37.600 to bear witness to all the fucking bizarre shit going 266 00:15:37.679 --> 00:15:41.200 on in Clive Barker's mind. Speaking of it's interesting looking 267 00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:43.519 back at his body of work and now realizing that, 268 00:15:43.879 --> 00:15:46.480 just as prevalent as the demons and creatures was a 269 00:15:46.600 --> 00:15:49.320 fuck ton of body horror. God damn, his work is 270 00:15:49.360 --> 00:15:51.440 a wash in it. I think I never really chucked 271 00:15:51.480 --> 00:15:54.600 him up as a body horror guy because he deviates 272 00:15:54.679 --> 00:15:58.879 so wildly from all the other practitioners in intent. Barker 273 00:15:59.080 --> 00:16:02.159 loves it. He revels in the thin line between pleasure 274 00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:04.840 and pain, and he wants you to revel along with him. 275 00:16:05.320 --> 00:16:07.919 Leather workers of the world rejoiced when the Cenobites hit 276 00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:10.919 the scene, and we've all been quietly tying up our 277 00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:15.240 significant others ever since. Lord of Illusions has one of 278 00:16:15.320 --> 00:16:18.679 my favorite opening scenes of all time. I have, at 279 00:16:18.759 --> 00:16:21.080 various times over the years, thrown it on and just 280 00:16:21.200 --> 00:16:23.240 watched till the story catches up to the present day 281 00:16:23.279 --> 00:16:26.080 and turned it off. It's a flashback to nineteen eighty 282 00:16:26.120 --> 00:16:28.360 two and a cult compound in the middle of the 283 00:16:28.519 --> 00:16:32.720 high California desert, the Mohave Desert. It says on screen, Nix, 284 00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:35.440 a magician, a real magician who can tap into the 285 00:16:35.480 --> 00:16:39.519 other side, is holding court with his followers and performing miracles. 286 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:43.879 It's so incredibly grubby and off putting. It fucking beautiful. 287 00:16:43.919 --> 00:16:47.879 The entire set and then racing to the scene through 288 00:16:47.960 --> 00:16:51.200 fucking gales of blowing sand, are a Ford Thunderbird and 289 00:16:51.240 --> 00:16:54.799 a VW microbus filled with former cult members who are 290 00:16:54.840 --> 00:16:58.000 coming to rescue a little girl who Nix has kidnapped 291 00:16:58.519 --> 00:17:02.279 and will sacrifice. And there's a fucking mandrel running around 292 00:17:02.360 --> 00:17:05.519 the compound. Those are those blue faced bab boons. They're 293 00:17:05.559 --> 00:17:09.119 fucking horrifying. It's so manson family and yet worse than 294 00:17:09.240 --> 00:17:12.880 anything that ever happened on that actual compound. Those returning 295 00:17:12.960 --> 00:17:16.119 cultists are led by Swan. If you name a character Swan, 296 00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:19.519 I'm showing up The Warriors, Phantom of the Paradise, Pirates 297 00:17:19.519 --> 00:17:23.559 of the Caribbean. This Swan is played by Kevin J O'Connor. 298 00:17:23.759 --> 00:17:25.680 Most of you know him from The Mummy and Van 299 00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:28.160 Helsing and a bunch of other movies I actively hate. 300 00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:31.000 I know him from this and Peggy who got married. 301 00:17:31.359 --> 00:17:35.160 He's the beatnick in that No more jello for me, Ma. 302 00:17:36.440 --> 00:17:39.400 He's great there, he's great here, the perfect amount of 303 00:17:39.440 --> 00:17:43.160 twitchy and helpless and bold and detached. It's a really 304 00:17:43.240 --> 00:17:46.319 good performance throughout Watch Your Feet. I'm about to drop 305 00:17:46.359 --> 00:17:50.200 a name in this film during the present day, the 306 00:17:50.279 --> 00:17:52.960 president being nineteen ninety five. The little girl they end 307 00:17:53.079 --> 00:17:56.000 up rescuing her adult self is played by pre x 308 00:17:56.079 --> 00:17:59.960 men Fanka Jansen, who around this time I ended up 309 00:18:00.039 --> 00:18:03.400 being crammed right up against at an after party after 310 00:18:03.480 --> 00:18:05.440 a cast and creuse screening of a movie you've never 311 00:18:05.519 --> 00:18:08.759 heard of. And yes, she is that beautiful, and my god, 312 00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:11.160 she's really fucking funny. Now let me just pick that 313 00:18:11.279 --> 00:18:13.799 name back up and put it back in my pocket. 314 00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:17.160 So it's nineteen ninety five and all of Swan's cohorts 315 00:18:17.160 --> 00:18:19.640 are getting murdered, and Demor is hired to figure out 316 00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:22.079 who and what and where. And it was on the 317 00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:25.640 rewatch that I finally became my own Harry Demour and 318 00:18:25.759 --> 00:18:29.680 deciphered the mystery as to why Lord of Illusions doesn't work. Hilariously, 319 00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:33.400 it's because of my favorite scene, the opening flashback. It 320 00:18:33.480 --> 00:18:35.680 doesn't answer all of the questions that'll take to more 321 00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:37.480 and more than an hour to answer, but it does 322 00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:40.680 cover who and what and why, leaving our hero to 323 00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:43.680 stumble around trying to figure out a mystery we've already solved. 324 00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:46.920 That's why people were saying it was boring, it was 325 00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:50.119 a redundant. It would be like starting Citizen Kane with 326 00:18:50.160 --> 00:18:53.000 a young Charles Foster Caine announcing I'm off to play 327 00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:55.880 in the snow with my sled that I have named Rosebud. 328 00:18:56.759 --> 00:18:58.920 The rest of the movie, wo'd still be as masterful, 329 00:18:59.160 --> 00:19:01.400 but every time Jerry Thompson comes on screen, you'd just 330 00:19:01.440 --> 00:19:03.480 be annoyed that he doesn't know it's a sled. The 331 00:19:03.559 --> 00:19:07.279 other problem is Harry Demore. I know Scott Bacula has 332 00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:11.839 his fans, clearly, He's fronted how many successful television series now, 333 00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:15.720 and Marker is on record as saying, this is Harry 334 00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:19.279 Demore in looks and in attitude. I've always found him 335 00:19:19.319 --> 00:19:22.559 to be bland Kevin Costner. I'm gonna say that again, 336 00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:27.359 bland Kevin Costner, and hearing that Barker was so gung 337 00:19:27.480 --> 00:19:30.880 ho over him would ordinarily make me question his sanity 338 00:19:31.400 --> 00:19:33.440 until I read that they first offered the role to 339 00:19:33.599 --> 00:19:36.720 Christopher Reeve, who I would have totally bought in the 340 00:19:36.759 --> 00:19:40.759 part sincerely. Who else was on the Acceptable Bankable star 341 00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:44.000 list along with Scott Bacula in nineteen ninety five for 342 00:19:44.119 --> 00:19:46.839 this movie. He is a TV actor. I know that 343 00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:49.880 line is blurred these days TV and movies. Who cares 344 00:19:50.279 --> 00:19:52.359 not me unless you put a TV guy at the 345 00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:54.559 center of a movie, you know what I mean. I 346 00:19:54.680 --> 00:19:56.960 really like David Duchovny and would see a movie he 347 00:19:57.119 --> 00:19:59.240 was in, but I'm not seeking out a movie he's 348 00:19:59.319 --> 00:20:03.279 headlining TV guy. I'm curious how this film would play 349 00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:05.519 without the flashback at the start. If you put it 350 00:20:05.559 --> 00:20:09.119 around the one hour mark, you know, when Harry figures 351 00:20:09.160 --> 00:20:11.359 it all out, that might have served the story a 352 00:20:11.400 --> 00:20:14.720 little bit better. So the lead is a dead fish, 353 00:20:15.079 --> 00:20:17.640 the mystery is given away in the opening scene. Anything 354 00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:18.359 else wrong with it? 355 00:20:18.720 --> 00:20:19.039 Oh my? 356 00:20:19.279 --> 00:20:22.799 Yes, the makeup effects are across the border rock solid, 357 00:20:22.920 --> 00:20:26.240 and ditto the majority of the optical effects. But the CGI. 358 00:20:26.799 --> 00:20:27.279 Oh man. 359 00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:30.920 The next time someone giggles about the PlayStation quality of 360 00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:34.160 the Scorpion King, point them in the direction of Lord 361 00:20:34.200 --> 00:20:37.359 of Illusions. That means Kevin J. O'Connor was in Van 362 00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:40.519 Helsing and gi Jo Rise of Cobra. The damage is 363 00:20:40.559 --> 00:20:42.880 minor here, but those other two flicks are poster children 364 00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:46.319 for overreach. There's nothing we can't do now. That's the 365 00:20:46.359 --> 00:20:49.039 same thinking behind who needs a full orchestra when the 366 00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:52.440 synthesizer can do it all? Or we'll do everything in 367 00:20:52.519 --> 00:20:56.039 the volume that won't start looking peculiar at all. Oh 368 00:20:56.119 --> 00:20:58.799 and Swan's Valet. Oh and other problems with the movie 369 00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:03.880 Swan's Valet Valentine or Valentine. He has this awful perm 370 00:21:03.960 --> 00:21:06.680 and goatee combo that I find deeply disturbing on a 371 00:21:06.720 --> 00:21:09.480 sub atomic level. As if a major domo as a 372 00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:13.519 character isn't off putting enough, let's slap that follicle farce 373 00:21:13.640 --> 00:21:16.359 onto him. Am I even recommending this movie. 374 00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:19.200 To that? 375 00:21:19.400 --> 00:21:23.319 I have one word Butterfield? Fuck? Yeah, I'm recommending this 376 00:21:23.480 --> 00:21:27.240 movie thanks to the character of Butterfield. In the film, 377 00:21:27.599 --> 00:21:29.640 all of the villains are human who have tapped into 378 00:21:29.680 --> 00:21:33.160 the world of magic. In the short story, demons disguised 379 00:21:33.200 --> 00:21:37.559 as humans have come to claim Swan. Swan's lawyer, Butterfield 380 00:21:37.839 --> 00:21:39.920 turns out to be the actual villain of the piece, 381 00:21:40.279 --> 00:21:43.519 and at the story's end, warn Swan, He's now marked 382 00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:46.799 by the Gulfs. That's a common phrase in Barker fiction, 383 00:21:47.079 --> 00:21:50.279 the Gulfs. It's a hillacious version of the afterlife. In 384 00:21:50.440 --> 00:21:54.400 Lord of Illusions, Butterfield is Nix's right hand, a more 385 00:21:54.440 --> 00:21:57.480 stylish right hand you'll not likely find this side of 386 00:21:57.599 --> 00:22:02.759 Vulnavia doctor Phibes's Galfry. Butterfield, played by Barry del Sherman, 387 00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:05.680 has one milky eye and a closet full of the 388 00:22:05.799 --> 00:22:09.119 tightest gold lemet pants you've ever seen. By the end, 389 00:22:09.200 --> 00:22:12.559 he's got a crushed velvet gold top, which somehow doesn't 390 00:22:12.599 --> 00:22:15.200 come off as matchy matchy with those pats. I am 391 00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:17.920 not sure why Marvel hasn't snapped mister del Sherman up 392 00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:22.319 for a major villain role. I love his performance here, ed, 393 00:22:22.400 --> 00:22:26.160 he's so stabby. He makes stabbing look actually painful. You know, 394 00:22:26.319 --> 00:22:28.920 sometimes in movies it's the equivalent of saying bang and 395 00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:32.079 the person falling over. Butterfield and Barker are here to 396 00:22:32.160 --> 00:22:35.599 remind us that sharp things hurt, and Butterfield has his 397 00:22:35.839 --> 00:22:38.519 own right hand, an undead skinhead who looks like he 398 00:22:38.559 --> 00:22:42.519 stepped off the pages of John Constantine Hellblazer in fact, 399 00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:45.200 there's quite a bit of odd crossover between these franchises. 400 00:22:45.519 --> 00:22:48.640 None pleasant, but we'll get there with ripspick. All the 401 00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:51.440