Speaker 1: The Relapse of Lady Teazle from Mister Punch's Dramatic Sequels
Speaker 1: by Sinton Hankin. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox
Speaker 1: recordings are in the public domain. For more information or
Speaker 1: to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. The School for Scandal,
Speaker 1: The School for Scandal ends. It will be remembered with
Speaker 1: the reconciliation of Sir Peter and Lady Teazle, the complete
Speaker 1: exposure of Joseph Surface, and the rehabilitation of Charles. Perhaps
Speaker 1: how long did the Teazle reconciliation last? And if Sir
Speaker 1: Oliver Surface left all his fortune to his nephew Charles,
Speaker 1: how long did that young gentleman take to run through it?
Speaker 1: Dramatis personi. Sir Peter Teazle rid by Algapug, Lady Teazl
Speaker 1: read by Elizabeth Klatt, Joseph Surface read by m B.
Speaker 1: Sir Oliver Surface read by Todd Narrator read by Ruth Golding.
Speaker 1: Scene room in Sir Peter Teazle's house, Sir Peter and
Speaker 1: Lady Teazle discovered wrangling as in act.
Speaker 2: Too Lady Teazle, Lady Teazle, I'll not bear.
Speaker 3: It, Sir Peter. Sir Peter, you've told me that a
Speaker 3: hundred times. This habit of repeating yourself is most distressing.
Speaker 3: Tis a sure sign of old age owns madam?
Speaker 2: Will you never be tired of flinging my age in
Speaker 2: my face?
Speaker 3: Blood? Sir Peter, tis you that fling it in mine?
Speaker 3: How often have you said to me when an old
Speaker 3: bachelor marries a young wife?
Speaker 2: And if I have, Lady Diezel, you needn't repeat it
Speaker 2: after me, for you live only to plague me. And
Speaker 2: yet it twas but six months ago you've vowed never
Speaker 2: to cross me again. Yes, madam, six months ago, when
Speaker 2: I found you concealed behind a screen in mister Servius's library,
Speaker 2: you promise that if I would forgive you, your future
Speaker 2: conduct should prove the sincerity of your repentance. I forgave you, madam,
Speaker 2: and this is my reward.
Speaker 3: And I might blame Sir Peter for your ill humors?
Speaker 3: Must I always be making concessions to please you? I
Speaker 3: have given up all routes and assemblies. Attend no balls
Speaker 3: nor quadrilles, talk no scandal, never ogle nor flirt. I
Speaker 3: go no more to my lady Sneerwell's though I vou
Speaker 3: has was a most delightful house to visit, such fashion
Speaker 3: and elegance, such wit, such delicate malice.
Speaker 2: Just so, madam, this is what I complain of all
Speaker 2: the while you are longing to return to these follies.
Speaker 2: You are not happy when you are alone with me.
Speaker 3: Great Heaven, Sir Peter, you must not ask miracles. What
Speaker 3: woman of fashion is ever happy alone with her husband?
Speaker 2: There it is, Lady Teezel. You think only of fashion,
Speaker 2: and yet when I married you.
Speaker 3: Oo oh, Lord, Sir Peter, why will you always be
Speaker 3: returning to that painful subject?
Speaker 2: Vastly painful, no doubt, madam, since it prevents you from
Speaker 2: marrying mister surfers behind whose screen I've found you?
Speaker 3: Ooh ooh, mister surface. But twas charlesy used to suspect, and.
Speaker 2: Now tis Joseph Zounds, Madam, is a man never to
Speaker 2: be allowed to change his mind. I say it is Joseph. Joseph.
Speaker 1: Joseph entered Joseph's surface. Sir Peter and Lady Teazel are
Speaker 1: obviously disconcerted at this inopportune arrival, and say nothing. Joseph
Speaker 1: has greatly changed in appeeringants in the six months which
Speaker 1: have elapsed between the play and the sequel. He has
Speaker 1: lost his sleekness and his air of conscious virtue, and
Speaker 1: looks like a careless, good humored man about time, obviously
Speaker 1: enjoying their discomfort.
Speaker 4: Sir Peter, your servant, Lady Teesel, your most obedient bows profoundly.
Speaker 2: To what, mister Surfers, do we owe the honor of
Speaker 2: this visit?
Speaker 1: Blandly correcting him.
Speaker 4: Pleasure, said Peter, I should honor, Sir. I came at
Speaker 4: the invitation of Sir Oliver, who is staying in your house.
Speaker 4: He desired to see me.
Speaker 1: Viciously to Sir Peter, if.
Speaker 3: This gentleman's business is with Sir Oliver, perhaps he will
Speaker 3: explain why he is intruded in this.
Speaker 4: Room with pleasure. My attention was arrested by the sound
Speaker 4: of voices raised in dispute. I heard my name mentioned
Speaker 4: loudly more than once, and recognizing one of the voices
Speaker 4: as that of Lady Teesell.
Speaker 1: With a low bow, I thought.
Speaker 4: It better interposed to defend my character.
Speaker 1: At once, stamping her foot insolent.
Speaker 2: Ha ha ha ha, very good efaith Misteres Surfers. I could
Speaker 2: almost find it in my heart to forgive you for
Speaker 2: your injuries towards me When you talk like.
Speaker 4: That injuries, Sir Peter, I never did you an injury.
Speaker 4: That affair of the screen was the mirest misunderstanding. I
Speaker 4: had no desire at all to capture the affections of
Speaker 4: Lady teesl On the contrart would have been highly inconvenient
Speaker 4: for me. It was your Ward, Maria that I wished
Speaker 4: to win monster Unhappily, Lady Teesel mistook the nature of
Speaker 4: my attentions, and I, knowing.
Speaker 1: Her temper, bowing to Lady teezl.
Speaker 4: Feared to undeceive her lest she should use her influence
Speaker 4: to prejudice me in the eyes of your ward. That,
Speaker 4: Sir Peter, is the true explanation of the situation in
Speaker 4: which you found Lady teesle On that unlucky.
Speaker 1: With suppressed fury.
Speaker 3: Pray, Sir Peter, do you propose to continue to permit
Speaker 3: this gentleman to speak of me in this way?
Speaker 2: Certainly, Madam, everything that mister Servus has said seems to
Speaker 2: me to bear the stamp of truth.
Speaker 4: So you see, Sir Peter, you never had any real
Speaker 4: cause of jealousy towards me. My conduct was foolish, I admit,
Speaker 4: but it was never criminal.
Speaker 2: Joseph, I believe you. Six months ago I thought you
Speaker 2: were guilty of the basest treachery towards me. But a
Speaker 2: year of marriage with Lady Teesell has convinced me that
Speaker 2: in her relations with you, as in her relations with me,
Speaker 2: it is always Lady Tegel who is in the wrong.
Speaker 1: They shake hands warmly.
Speaker 3: I will not stay here to be insulted in this manner.
Speaker 3: I will go straight to Lady Sneerwell's and tear both
Speaker 3: your characters to tatters.
Speaker 1: Exit in a violent passion.
Speaker 2: Oohs fury. But when an old bachelor marries a.
Speaker 4: Young wife, come, come, sir Peter, no sentiments?
Speaker 2: What you say that, my dear Joseph, this is indeed
Speaker 2: a reformation. Had it been Charles, now, I should not
Speaker 2: have been surprised.
Speaker 4: It gad, Sir Peter. In the matter of sentiments. Charles,
Speaker 4: for a long time had a most under advantage of
Speaker 4: me for having no character to lose. He had no
Speaker 4: need of sentiments to support it. But now I have
Speaker 4: a little character as he, and we start fair. Now
Speaker 4: I am a free man. I say what I think,
Speaker 4: do what I please. Scandal has done its worst with me,
Speaker 4: and I no longer fear it. Whereas when I had
Speaker 4: a character for morality to maintain, all my time was
Speaker 4: wasted in trying to live up to it. I had
Speaker 4: to conceal every trifling flirtation, and had finally wrapped myself
Speaker 4: in such a web of falsehood that when your hand
Speaker 4: tore away the veil I give you buy what I
Speaker 4: was almost grateful depend upon it, said Peter. There's no
Speaker 4: possession in the world so troublesome as a good reputation.
Speaker 1: Digging him in the.
Speaker 2: Ribs Ah, Joseph, you're a sad dog. But here comes
Speaker 2: your uncle, Sir Oliver. I'll leave him with you.
Speaker 1: Exit. Enter Sir Oliver, reading a sheaf of legal documents, reading.
Speaker 5: Eighty one hundred and twenty two hundred and twenty three
Speaker 5: hundred pounds. Gad, the dog will ruin me.
Speaker 4: Sir Oliver.
Speaker 1: Your servant looking up?
Speaker 2: Hey?
Speaker 5: Is that you nephew? Yes, I remember I sent for you.
Speaker 4: You're busy this morning, uncle. I'll wait upon you another day.
Speaker 5: No, No, Joseph, stay and hear what I have to
Speaker 5: tell you. I sent for you to say that I
Speaker 5: have decided to pardon your past misconduct and restore you
Speaker 5: to favor. Six months of Charles's society have convinced me
Speaker 5: of the folly of adopting a reprobate.
Speaker 4: I thought they would.
Speaker 5: Uncle, Your brother's extravagances pass all bounds. Here are four
Speaker 5: writs which were served upon him but yesterday, and the
Speaker 5: fellow has the assurance to send them on to me.
Speaker 1: Jase laughs heartily.
Speaker 5: Sounds nephew, don't stand chuckling there. And his character has
Speaker 5: not reformed one whit in spite of his promises. His
Speaker 5: flirtations with my lady Sneerwell and others are so excessive
Speaker 5: that Maria has quite thrown him over and the engagement
Speaker 5: is broken off. Add to this that I have paid
Speaker 5: his debts three times only to find him contracting fresh liabilities.
Speaker 5: And you may judge that my patience is exhausted.
Speaker 4: But these are old stories. Uncle. You knew that Charles
Speaker 4: was vicious and extravagant when you made him your air.
Speaker 4: He's done nothing fresh to offend you.
Speaker 5: On the contrary, he has done something which has hurt
Speaker 5: me deeply.
Speaker 4: How absorry Uncle when he knows that he has depended
Speaker 4: wholly on your bounty.
Speaker 5: Wait till you hear the whole story. A week ago,
Speaker 5: your brother came to me for money to meet some
Speaker 5: gambling debt. I refused him. Whereupon he returned to his house,
Speaker 5: had it an auctioneer, and sold everything that it contained.
Speaker 4: And did you play little premium a second time? Uncle?
Speaker 5: Certainly not, sir, on this occasion, I left the rogue
Speaker 5: to settle matters for himself.
Speaker 4: But I see no great harm in this. Why should
Speaker 4: not Charles sell his furniture?
Speaker 5: Deuce take his furniture? He sold my picture?
Speaker 4: What the ill looking little fellow over the city? Yes, ha,
Speaker 4: ha delicious? Sell this uncle's portrait? Can I like his spirit?
Speaker 5: You seem vastly entertained, nephew, I confess.
Speaker 4: The humor of this situation appeals.
Speaker 5: To me happily. For you, I am less, easily amused. No, No,
Speaker 5: Charles is a heartless scoundrel, and I'll disown him.
Speaker 4: No, Uncle, he's no worse than other young men.
Speaker 5: But he sold my picture. He was pressed for money,
Speaker 5: but he sold my picture.
Speaker 4: He meant no harm.
Speaker 5: I'll be bound, But he sold my picture.
Speaker 1: Enter, Sir Peter, hurriedly, looking pale, and disordered, My.
Speaker 4: Dear Sir Peter, you are ill.
Speaker 5: You've had bad news, Sir Peter, old friend, what is it?
Speaker 2: Ugh?
Speaker 1: Ugh Oh, Lady Tisel stops choked with passion, not dead.
Speaker 2: Dead, hell and furies. If it were only that, no
Speaker 2: run away with your profligate nephew, Charles impossible. Is this
Speaker 2: certain Hi really solom driving together in a postchaise towards Richmond,
Speaker 2: not ten minutes ago?
Speaker 5: Then I'll disown him. Joseph, you are my heir, but
Speaker 5: see that you behave yourself, or I'll disinherit you too,
Speaker 5: and leave my money to a missionary society.
Speaker 1: Curtain end of the Relapse of Lady Teasel.