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Speaker 1: Yes? Hello, Welcome to Laura Kane a special Valentine's Day edition.
Speaker 1: Since the day before Valentine's Day. When this episode drops.
Speaker 2: Happy Valentine's Day, Elvis, that all are you no Happy
Speaker 2: Valentine's thank you.
Speaker 1: Happy Valentine's Day, Elvis v oh b I said, baby, No,
Speaker 1: I said, be high producer Brian, Hello, Okay, so Elvis
Speaker 1: is going to be my Valentine this year.
Speaker 4: If he wants to.
Speaker 1: Guys, when she says, don't worry, don't want you know what,
Speaker 1: It's just another day. It's a Hallmark It's a Hallmark holiday.
Speaker 1: Don't get me anything. Don't listen to her.
Speaker 4: Quite some time.
Speaker 1: Get her something, flowers, car get her card, at least
Speaker 1: something to acknowledge your love on this day, even though
Speaker 1: even if you think it's just the most worst made.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, of course you think that. Did you
Speaker 1: know that February is America's eleventh favorite month. January is
Speaker 1: the worst. Why that's just I don't know. This new
Speaker 1: study part of the new year. What do you think
Speaker 1: the most popular month is December? Nope?
Speaker 3: Oh, June?
Speaker 1: Nope?
Speaker 4: July nope?
Speaker 1: Come on, yes, thank you?
Speaker 4: Was October?
Speaker 1: Yes it is. That's the number one too.
Speaker 4: Halloween, baby, I.
Speaker 1: Know I love Whylloween.
Speaker 4: You're lying, I know you're lying. You used to love Halloween.
Speaker 3: I hate it.
Speaker 4: Just making this up.
Speaker 3: Even as a kid, I hated Halloween.
Speaker 4: That's not true.
Speaker 3: What's very true?
Speaker 1: Do we need to analyze.
Speaker 4: This two years ago? I don't know that something happened
Speaker 4: on that you.
Speaker 1: Have a trauma, traumatic experience on Halloween, like over the
Speaker 1: last five years or something.
Speaker 4: It was not even that it was like two years ago.
Speaker 1: What happened two years ago on Halloween?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Two years ago. He loved it.
Speaker 3: Three years ago, Oh I didn't.
Speaker 1: It's okay, this is a safe space. It's this is
Speaker 1: a safe space.
Speaker 3: As a cheshire cat.
Speaker 1: All right, before we get to the photos, the awkward photos.
Speaker 1: If you happen to have a million dollars laying around,
Speaker 1: an extra mill and you're single, this is for you.
Speaker 1: There's a matchmaking service in Los Angeles called Million Dollar Match.
Speaker 1: For one million dollars, you get these things and they
Speaker 1: guarantee to find you the one. And this is how
Speaker 1: they do it. You get a dedicated recruiter, somebody that
Speaker 1: flies all over the United States, hits up gyms, hits
Speaker 1: up bars, hits up stores, hits up any public areas
Speaker 1: where guys may be or girls may be looking for singles.
Speaker 1: You get a matchmaker that'll help.
Speaker 3: You apps that's what they're doing.
Speaker 1: Probably you get a dating coach. This is over a
Speaker 1: full year. This is a full year. And if you
Speaker 1: get engaged less than six six months after the program ends,
Speaker 1: they throw in a three carrot engagement ring. I want
Speaker 1: one million dollars and they're only taking in three clients.
Speaker 1: They mean business, they really mean business, and we mind it.
Speaker 2: We better only team they're taking. Are you one of
Speaker 2: those three clients?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay, okay, yeah, my extra milk.
Speaker 4: You with a pity case.
Speaker 1: I know why I'm doing it for like social media parts.
Speaker 3: You should be that. You should be the guinea pig if.
Speaker 1: It works, dude, I would do the Golden Bachelor, Like
Speaker 1: in two seconds.
Speaker 3: How about why don't you be? Why don't you Belorette?
Speaker 1: I probably would hate it because I probably I would
Speaker 1: not like any of those girls. I wouldn't like any
Speaker 1: of those dudes because everybody's there just to be on team.
Speaker 3: I said, why don't you do the Golden Bachelorette?
Speaker 1: I know, but it's the same thing. Why are you
Speaker 1: trying to be funny? Because I'm I see how I'm
Speaker 1: not caring.
Speaker 4: She's one of those over sixty five singles this year.
Speaker 2: You know, shut up, geez, got this now? Lissa this
Speaker 2: this May May twenty fourth, she's gonna be sixty six.
Speaker 1: Oh now, now he's throwing out my birthday like he's
Speaker 1: known it his whole life.
Speaker 4: Sixty six.
Speaker 3: Shut up, over Fox, we'll call her sixty six.
Speaker 1: Sure, you guys, if you keep saying that, people are
Speaker 1: really going to think that.
Speaker 4: Why wouldn't they think it's true?
Speaker 1: Shut up?
Speaker 3: You look good for sixty six?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 1: And if you get dumped before Valentine's Day, because that
Speaker 1: happens to a lot of people, because guys or girls
Speaker 1: or whatever, mostly guys, I think, freak out and they're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm not like totally digging this person.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get him a present. I'm going
Speaker 1: to dump them instead. Here's what the Memphis Zoos got
Speaker 1: for you. Name a turd after your turd. For ten dollars,
Speaker 1: you can get an elephant turd named after the person
Speaker 1: that dump.
Speaker 3: Oh can you?
Speaker 1: You'll get a digital card and terrible video of an
Speaker 1: elephant doing his business.
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
Speaker 1: Poop hitting more poop, Yeah, that's amazing. So if your
Speaker 1: ex's name Brad, the poop's name is going to be Brad,
Speaker 1: and all the proceeds go to helping the animals.
Speaker 3: If this is, oh, listen, I'll donate ten bucks.
Speaker 1: To get it. Somebody, don't you before Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, thank god.
Speaker 1: Okay, before we show that are photos which we will show.
Speaker 1: Eric has a story which is along the lines of
Speaker 1: something we talked about, like a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1: We talked, we had a big show about all the
Speaker 1: recent fraud and scams that are going around, and this
Speaker 1: one almost got this guy. And you know anything, no,
Speaker 1: Frauding me is easy, frauding you is not.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: So what happened?
Speaker 2: So I get a U. I was on the phone,
Speaker 2: I was out lunch. I was on the phone and
Speaker 2: I get a phone call that comes through. So I
Speaker 2: listened to the message and it's a detective and he
Speaker 2: said he's with the San Diego County Sheriff's Department and
Speaker 2: there was an urgent legal matter that he needed to
Speaker 2: speak to me about and to call him back as
Speaker 2: soon as I could. So I called back the number
Speaker 2: and I couldn't imagine what it was. And I even
Speaker 2: said in my message to him because I got his
Speaker 2: voicemail and that said, this is Detective so and so
Speaker 2: with the San Diego County Sheriff's Department, please have a message,
Speaker 2: took it back to you, and he said it was
Speaker 2: his desk. Like, so I left a message. I said,
Speaker 2: I'm not sure what this is about, but I'm returning
Speaker 2: your call.
Speaker 3: Call me back.
Speaker 2: He did, and he informed me that I failed to
Speaker 2: show up for a court case that I was subpoened on.
Speaker 2: And I said, I wasn't suboenaed for any court case.
Speaker 2: I have no idea what you're talking about. And he said,
Speaker 2: mister Rimmer, on December eighteenth, you signed for the paperwork.
Speaker 2: And I said no, I didn't, and he said, well,
Speaker 2: we have your signature showing acknowledging that you received the
Speaker 2: paperwork that I got this peanut. I said what date
Speaker 2: was this and he said December eighteenth, and I said
Speaker 2: at what time? And he said eleven thirty five am.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, well, that's impossible because I wasn't here.
Speaker 2: And he said, well, somebody else in your house signed
Speaker 2: for it and forgot to give it to you. And
Speaker 2: I said, well that's impossible too, I said, because I
Speaker 2: live alone. So he goes, well then somebody, I thought, well,
Speaker 2: the only thing I can think of is that it's
Speaker 2: a massive complex and there's different buildings and my number
Speaker 2: is that same number is in another.
Speaker 1: Like ABC building.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So he said, well, you're going to need to come
Speaker 2: down to the Sheriff's department and we're going to have
Speaker 2: to do a signature test and if you truly didn't
Speaker 2: sign for it, then we'll have to go after the
Speaker 2: person that signed for it. And I right then and there,
Speaker 2: I thought, well, how would you know who signed for
Speaker 2: it then, you know if if my signature didn't match.
Speaker 2: So something started to go off and he said, so
Speaker 2: you're going to need to come down. He gives me
Speaker 2: the address, so I immediately google it and it's a industrial
Speaker 2: park in Kerney Mesa And so I google San Diego
Speaker 2: County Sheriff's Office kerney Mesa and it comes up. It's
Speaker 2: on the same street, but the physical address like it
Speaker 2: was like the guy on the phone gave me, like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, eight six seven to two and it
Speaker 2: was one number off, so it was like eight six
Speaker 2: seven to one was the actual number. So I'm like, okay.
Speaker 2: So he kept saying something. I kept getting the run
Speaker 2: around all of a sudden about money. So you need
Speaker 2: to come down and if we find you. You're going
Speaker 2: to need to the Honorable Judge has cited you for
Speaker 2: a failure to appear and in contempt of court. So
Speaker 2: I'm like, wait, what how can I be in contempt
Speaker 2: of court in a fail to appear? And they told
Speaker 2: me that the case was a SA case involving a minor,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, I have no idea. I would
Speaker 2: never have been subpoena for a case like that, Like.
Speaker 4: You wouldn't get subpoena. Did you just get arrested too.
Speaker 2: But as a witness or something? And I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't. But I was like, no, I would have known,
Speaker 2: you know, that would have So I'm like hmmm.
Speaker 3: So then he.
Speaker 2: Says, well, there's all this stuff about well it can
Speaker 2: be up to a twenty thousand dollars fine for a
Speaker 2: failure to appear and you have to, you know, do
Speaker 2: the signature analysis and all this, and it kept getting
Speaker 2: just spiraling off into different things, and I was so
Speaker 2: confused that I was like wait. So he goes, I'm
Speaker 2: going to need to transfer you since you're not understanding
Speaker 2: what I'm saying to this other department. So he transfers me,
Speaker 2: and this guy's like detective Smith, you know. And I said, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know what's going on. And the guy starts
Speaker 2: explaining it and it's even more convoluted than the other guy,
Speaker 2: and I said, I don't get it. So all of
Speaker 2: a sudden, I'm He says something to the effect of
Speaker 2: I said, fine, I'll come down, but what's where.
Speaker 3: I don't understand what I'm supposed to do.
Speaker 4: And he goes.
Speaker 2: He starts screaming at me on the phone, and right
Speaker 2: then and there when I said I wasn't going to
Speaker 2: sell them oh here for eight thousand dollars, because he
Speaker 2: said it's sitting if you you can't come down here
Speaker 2: and do the signature analysis without paying first, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: are you kidding me?
Speaker 3: And I said. He goes, and so I pulled this stunt.
Speaker 2: I go, I don't have that kind of money, and
Speaker 2: he goes, well, how much money do you have? And
Speaker 2: I'm like, none of your fucking business, and he goes,
Speaker 2: don't you talk to me that way, and he starts
Speaker 2: screaming at me, and he's like, I've been doing this
Speaker 2: forever and I've never met anybody as stupid as you.
Speaker 2: And I'm all, oh, on the contrary, you've never had
Speaker 2: to deal with anybody as smart as I am, because
Speaker 2: I'm not falling for this bullshit. So I just kept
Speaker 2: saying I don't understand. I don't understand, and he's like, fine,
Speaker 2: I'm just going to report to the courts that you're
Speaker 2: not agreeing to any of these options. And I said no.
Speaker 2: I said, I'm perfectly happy to come down there and
Speaker 2: do the signature analysis. What I won't do is pay you.
Speaker 3: And he started screaming, and I said, okay, you know what.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I'm coming down right now. And he goes,
Speaker 2: don't you dare come down here without paying and I said,
Speaker 2: oh no, I'm coming down and I'll bring the police
Speaker 2: with me, and I'm all.
Speaker 3: Fuck you, and I hung out.
Speaker 2: So then I called the Sheriff's department and I got
Speaker 2: an actual sheriff and I said, hey, is there a
Speaker 2: scam going? And he goes, oh, god, you didn't give
Speaker 2: them any money, did you? And I said no, I'm
Speaker 2: not stupid, No I didn't give him money. And he goes,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, it's a total scam.
Speaker 1: It is rampant. It is so bad.
Speaker 2: It is bad, and I mean for me to get
Speaker 2: rattled because they're like, well, you'll just get arrested. They'll
Speaker 2: just come to your work. Because they had my full name,
Speaker 2: my address, and my full birth date. Oh and he goes,
Speaker 2: you didn't give them their social Security number?
Speaker 3: Did you?
Speaker 2: And I said no, But can you imagine being told,
Speaker 2: you know, if you were elderly or something like. I've
Speaker 2: never had to do a trial or anything, so I
Speaker 2: didn't know.
Speaker 1: So scary. I bet they've been getting tons of money
Speaker 1: out of people. Oh gosh, okay. So my friend who
Speaker 1: thinks she was talking to Kevin Costner. I was there
Speaker 1: when Kevin Costner called her, yes, and so so she answered,
Speaker 1: She's like hi Kevin, and then it would go. It
Speaker 1: would like there'd be like a beat and it was
Speaker 1: his voice and be like, hi, beautiful, how are you?
Speaker 1: And she's like fine, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: I'm missing your beautiful face. You mean so much to me.
Speaker 1: Oh that's so sweet. You mean a lot to me too.
Speaker 1: When can I see you, my beautiful flower? Like all
Speaker 1: this like stuff. You can totally tell. It was Ai
Speaker 1: and they have someone was just typing it in. I'm
Speaker 1: like and I said to her, I said, do you
Speaker 1: see do you do you hear the pause, I go,
Speaker 1: that's what they're doing. They're they're like creating, manipulating. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: and so luckily she only they had her. He said
Speaker 1: he was on set in some remote location and his
Speaker 1: handlers were not letting him have access to anything or
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah, and he like trusts her and whatever,
Speaker 1: and he needed some Apple cards because he needed YadA YadA, yadah.
Speaker 1: So she was out a couple hundred bucks of Apple cars.
Speaker 1: That's it. But there are stories of people that talked
Speaker 1: to Liam Neeson, a woman who lost eight hundred red,
Speaker 1: like you can, like, so, celebrity scams are huge. This
Speaker 1: is really scary, Yeah, because I think I would fall
Speaker 1: for that in a second, because I'd be like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: I probably did do something really bad.
Speaker 2: You don't remember well you know, and this is the
Speaker 2: thing they play on that And I mean, I'm so
Speaker 2: busy that I thought, I literally thought, did I sign
Speaker 2: for something and totally didn't open it or forgot to go.
Speaker 1: Some people didn't have a accent.
Speaker 4: What if you sign, if you get served, you will
Speaker 4: know there is no there can be It's not like oh,
Speaker 4: here's a document, like you know, sign here and you're like, okay, great,
Speaker 4: like you you.
Speaker 1: May have to like stalk you out to serve you.
Speaker 4: Sometimes you have to. They have to get a typically
Speaker 4: it's on video now too, but they have to get
Speaker 4: a verbal like that you know you've been served well.
Speaker 2: And initially what I thought he was talking about was
Speaker 2: jury duty, because that's what he made it sound like.
Speaker 2: And I don't No one gets arrested her, and I
Speaker 2: was like, what, we're gone and well, And that's that's
Speaker 2: why I was so confused initially, because I was like,
Speaker 2: you're I'm in contempt of court for failing to show
Speaker 2: up for jury duty, Like who the hell cares? And
Speaker 2: that's what I was initially made to think it was.
Speaker 2: And then he goes, oh, no, it was a subpoena.
Speaker 2: So it jumped from serving on a jury to a subpoena.
Speaker 2: And I said, I never got a subpoena for anything.
Speaker 1: Dude, you know, thank god you are you?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, nobody was gonna melt.
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna get three grand out of you for that
Speaker 1: for nothing. No, oh my god. So be careful like
Speaker 1: any little thing, even if you get a wrong number.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm running late. I'll be there in a second,
Speaker 1: you're like, who's this. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, wrong number.
Speaker 1: All the time I do too, but like but now that,
Speaker 1: but now I I kind of clued into when they
Speaker 1: start the conversations.
Speaker 4: Like right, hold on, it's always scams. I always know.
Speaker 4: It's just fun to have the conversation.
Speaker 1: You know what else? The fast track thing? Have you
Speaker 1: got the fast track?
Speaker 4: That's that's a good one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the fast track is is BS that ups and
Speaker 2: packages rbs.
Speaker 1: There's there's a customs like they're waiting at customs and
Speaker 1: they need you to do do.
Speaker 2: The SDG or the not STG E the Yeah, the
Speaker 2: SDGN that you owe like five hundred and you have
Speaker 2: to take out money orders or something to pay it.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, bs.
Speaker 1: This nothing makes me more mad than people taking advantage
Speaker 1: of other people.
Speaker 4: I know, it's not it's pretty crazy.
Speaker 3: Got a job, it is just and not that kind
Speaker 3: of a job, you know. Okay, So, oh god.
Speaker 1: We had a photo shoot and this was our little
Speaker 1: promo shoot. It was time we needed to freshen up
Speaker 1: our photos a little bit, and I thought a J. C.
Speaker 1: Penny awkward photo shoot would be perfect for us. So
Speaker 1: we met on a Thursday at noon at the J C.
Speaker 1: Penny and Fashion Valley, and here are some the photo. Okay,
Speaker 1: the girls at work there were great. They were really
Speaker 1: funny and they were really they totally knew what we wanted.
Speaker 1: They got the vibe that what we what we were
Speaker 1: and and kind of like if we wanted it to
Speaker 1: look onward. They even put the cheesiest backgrounds up that
Speaker 1: they could find. And you know, there were people there
Speaker 1: that were getting like true family photos. It's also a
Speaker 1: place to go to.
Speaker 4: Get My favorite thing was lawyer goes, what are adorable
Speaker 4: little girls? She goes, it's a boy, and I was
Speaker 4: like done, like three times.
Speaker 2: I was literally we should just say she's mute and
Speaker 2: can't speak.
Speaker 4: I know, I was kind of winning. I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: it's a boy, I know.
Speaker 1: Because he has cute ponytails. But whatever. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: really beautiful, a little.
Speaker 3: Oh he was so cute.
Speaker 4: I think he was dressed like a girl too.
Speaker 1: No, he had no remember, he just had a diagh.
Speaker 4: That's right, that's right away anyway, So all right, here
Speaker 4: the picture.
Speaker 1: Here are the pictures. Yes, okay, so.
Speaker 3: I love our Eiffel Tower, Brian.
Speaker 1: I know that one is but like somebody's we're not centered.
Speaker 4: Though. It bothers me.
Speaker 1: I know it is. That bothered me too, because Eric
Speaker 1: needs to be up a little bit.
Speaker 4: And well you, but you're off center in the photo too.
Speaker 4: You're not even in the center anyway.
Speaker 1: That one, okay, and the one we're looking up so serious.
Speaker 1: I love that one. It reminds me of a Napoleon dynamite.
Speaker 4: Is a good one. I like that one.
Speaker 1: And then this one I love. I think this one
Speaker 1: is cute. I think that one's a winner. That one
Speaker 1: is a winner. It's not it's cheesy, but it's also cute.
Speaker 4: It's it's pretty good. I don't like my double chin,
Speaker 4: but we can.
Speaker 1: You know, we can fix that.
Speaker 4: You don't have to fix that. No, I have to
Speaker 4: fix it.
Speaker 1: Okay, you can fix that. Okay, okay, No, I think
Speaker 1: it's so cute.
Speaker 4: It's all right. Whatever.
Speaker 1: Watch all of me, Brian have like this, supersh.
Speaker 3: I would like you to make us just have nose holes.
Speaker 1: I know you would do that. You would make us
Speaker 1: all white as a ship totally. That one I kind
Speaker 1: of like to be so Eric, Eric, it looks like
Speaker 1: you look like you're trying to recreate your old modeling days.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is like so lame, what the hell?
Speaker 1: And Brian's like, why am I even here?
Speaker 4: This one is I don't understand, Like I don't know.
Speaker 4: There's something about it where I'm like, it doesn't really
Speaker 4: make sense to me that we're all looking in different
Speaker 4: directions up in the air. But it's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 1: It's kind of funny. It's funny. I like it, Okay,
Speaker 1: I love the head pile is my is one of
Speaker 1: my favorites. We had to put our head on top.
Speaker 1: I put my head on top of Eric's on top
Speaker 1: of his ear, and then Brian put his head on
Speaker 1: top of my ear. The head pile, and then to
Speaker 1: the bat to back. That's when we shows for our
Speaker 1: ten by twenty photo just because that one is actually cute.
Speaker 4: But yeah, that's good. These next ones are good.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 1: This is like the one on the left is like
Speaker 1: a we're siblings, like you're the older brother, Brian. It
Speaker 1: looks like because you're at the top and then I'm
Speaker 1: the middle kid, and then or No, that one's good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's nice, it's centered, it's proportional. Yeah, that one
Speaker 4: is really good and I like the one of you sitting.
Speaker 1: You like someone. Yeah, Eric is sitting. I'm like laying
Speaker 1: down on my stomach with my knees bent and my
Speaker 1: feet up, and he's sitting on my feet with his
Speaker 1: feet on my butt. If it's cute, that's cute. I
Speaker 1: like that one.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I love the gray washed out background. That one
Speaker 1: I like too. Brian, You're you have a cheesebawl h
Speaker 1: smile and I like it. It's cute.
Speaker 4: Oh my god' like that smiling.
Speaker 1: But actually that's you did a good job on that one.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that one's good. I wish I was a little
Speaker 4: clo sir to you guys, or Eric was a little
Speaker 4: more equidistant.
Speaker 1: Can you fix that? Can you actually fix that?
Speaker 3: Hell, I look a little photoshop. I look a little
Speaker 3: fruit shocking.
Speaker 1: No he doesn't.
Speaker 4: But he's not like you could beating.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't even want to say what I look like
Speaker 2: because I might get canceled.
Speaker 1: No, don't say it. I don't sea wait wa wait wait, wait.
Speaker 4: Wait, let me let me just mute everything and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't No, it's not that bad.
Speaker 4: You don't look like that.
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 1: I think he looks I think that's cute.
Speaker 4: You know what he does a little bit, a little
Speaker 4: weird angle of his face or like the position of
Speaker 4: his eyes.
Speaker 1: Okay, so that's the service. Okay. The next one, okay,
Speaker 1: that's the classic hair over.
Speaker 4: Eric's good.
Speaker 1: That one is good. Yeah, she did a good job
Speaker 1: with that one, for sure. And that is like the
Speaker 1: green like modeled, uh leaved background.
Speaker 4: Of these next two, one of them, I absolutely.
Speaker 1: One of them, and one of them I absolutely love. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I love both of these.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: The one on the right is cute. That one is
Speaker 1: aut for sure, a sibling photo. That one. You look great, Brian,
Speaker 1: you look great, Eric, and I look, ok I look,
Speaker 1: you look very fine.
Speaker 4: One on the left is so atrocious.
Speaker 1: It is hilarious because Brian is standing like he is
Speaker 1: a god.
Speaker 4: No, I'm standing like you guys just performed at numerous
Speaker 4: sexual brothers sexual accent and I was like, awesome, I
Speaker 4: own these people, these these I am. I am a
Speaker 4: pimp and these are my whorees. Like that is exactly
Speaker 4: the right face.
Speaker 2: I'm terrified I look like I look like Bianca s Sorry.
Speaker 4: And I read way too far. I know That's why
Speaker 4: I'm saying. I think this is a terrible and she's like,
Speaker 4: give a serious expression, and I was like, okay, that
Speaker 4: feels that feels like a bad idea.
Speaker 1: Post that one.
Speaker 3: He was like, good boy, good girl.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's like kinky. I hate it. It's so bad.
Speaker 2: If he awkward, if he had about one point five
Speaker 2: million in ice around us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, literally, be how.
Speaker 1: High my hand is. Look look how close it is.
Speaker 3: So Laura's always grab our chunk.
Speaker 4: I know, you guys look like creeps and I look
Speaker 4: like also, my legs are like so far apart, and
Speaker 4: it's like it's like I'm swatting and I'm like tea
Speaker 4: bagging you guys. Oh my god, that is the hands on.
Speaker 1: The hands on my head, like you are rolling like
Speaker 1: your veryonette.
Speaker 4: I think it went from it's not awkward if we
Speaker 4: were smiling, the awkward, but with like the looks, it
Speaker 4: is like just kind of like a creepy.
Speaker 1: It's but I can't wait to post it.
Speaker 4: I can't no that one's not getting posted.
Speaker 1: We're going to put them all to a bade. Everybody
Speaker 1: needs to see.
Speaker 3: All of them.
Speaker 4: I don't think everyone needs to see all they need
Speaker 4: to God, if that could just damage our reputation.
Speaker 3: If we could, just if.
Speaker 2: We could just change his his T shirt to just
Speaker 2: say pimp on it.
Speaker 4: I don't want to. I don't want to look like
Speaker 4: a pimp. I got an image to protect.
Speaker 2: That is the best thing. That's a bad photos. Like,
Speaker 2: I never want to let him go ever, But the
Speaker 2: knees are on I look like.
Speaker 4: And you guys look like like like your traffic. You
Speaker 4: guys look like your traffic.
Speaker 1: I look like I like I'm brainwashed, and I like
Speaker 1: it looks like the trafficking looks terrified.
Speaker 4: I don't think it's a good vibe, right.
Speaker 2: I love the fact that the knees on my jeans
Speaker 2: are all worn out from all that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all the time you stall.
Speaker 3: The Malaysio that I'm performing on our producer.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I think it's bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so funny.
Speaker 4: I feel like I feel like she should have seen that,
Speaker 4: Like this like is not awkward, it's weird.
Speaker 1: Well, hey, she pushed it to the limit.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Anyways, literally the most Yes, okay, Oh, that one that one's.
Speaker 3: Goods doing the wheelbarrow.
Speaker 4: I think that one's really good.
Speaker 1: That one's cute.
Speaker 3: Kane, do you want tickets to the Gun Show.
Speaker 1: I know, look, I know right at you. You Okay,
Speaker 1: so you're gonna you're gonna love that one. You want
Speaker 1: that one?
Speaker 4: That one's good. This next one is a variant of
Speaker 4: the previous one. But I don't like the serious look.
Speaker 4: I think it's bad. Actually, I think my face is bad.
Speaker 1: Well you can't, you know. I like the serious looks
Speaker 1: for the awkwardness of it, but it doesn't just it
Speaker 1: doesn't explain our showers.
Speaker 4: But my face isn't actually serious, it's just bla.
Speaker 1: Your face is like.
Speaker 4: Like I like, there's just not a thought.
Speaker 1: Because nothing there. It's plaining.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I was sure what serious was.
Speaker 1: At first, Eric kind of looks pervy, and.
Speaker 2: Then I do, I look, yes, I do, and again
Speaker 2: I look hypnotized.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Actually Eric is giving like a Hugh Hefner type like.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I look do whatever he's like, this
Speaker 3: is disgusting.
Speaker 4: I don't like these at all. This one. This one
Speaker 4: is like, it's not terrible, it's just not as good
Speaker 4: as the other one.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: And then the way Laura has her back arched, I
Speaker 2: look like I've got a big like pot belly.
Speaker 4: One. Okay, so we look like sexual creeps. We're gonna
Speaker 4: use that one. But the one where Eric looks slightly overweight.
Speaker 1: All of these baby, all of them go up for
Speaker 1: a vote. That's cute.
Speaker 4: I think the angle is just a little too high,
Speaker 4: but other than that, it's not bad.
Speaker 3: Eric.
Speaker 1: Eric is super happy in that one. We're we're all
Speaker 1: on our stomachs with our our chins resting on our knuckles.
Speaker 3: Of course, I'm happy. I'm not having to balance anybody.
Speaker 3: I'm not having to pick anybody up.
Speaker 4: That one's good.
Speaker 1: That one is cute.
Speaker 4: That's the last one.
Speaker 1: That is the last one.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, what's what happened to the one where I'm
Speaker 2: Brian and I are cradling you?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: That one, I don't send it to me. You know why,
Speaker 1: because that you talk about off center like that one
Speaker 1: was super off center. Eric. By the way, I weigh
Speaker 1: one hundred and forty five pounds. Okay, mister, I work
Speaker 1: out every freaking day. I could feel him literally.
Speaker 4: Okay. It wasn't his fault. The way the lady had
Speaker 4: to do it was bad because I went these were
Speaker 4: bullshe well, because we were. I went around to grab
Speaker 4: your legs so we could like evenly distribulation, stay right there,
Speaker 4: and I was like, but he's holding her off center
Speaker 4: on this side, Like why would I do that?
Speaker 2: I was totally holding you off center, and I was
Speaker 2: it was too heavy on one side versus the other.
Speaker 4: I was like, why should I, Like, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: Drop her on her head.
Speaker 4: I didn't argue.
Speaker 3: I was so nervous.
Speaker 1: And then there was one where we did that the
Speaker 1: Titanic one like where I'm oh, yeah, that one. I
Speaker 1: forgot to send that one to you. That one's cute too.
Speaker 3: That was good.
Speaker 4: But I'll post I'm gonna revamp our website with something.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, actually, I think we might. I think it'd
Speaker 4: be fine. A rebrand with these I think, oh my god,
Speaker 4: go for it. Maybe do a logo redesign that fits
Speaker 4: more Awkward.
Speaker 1: Big time, because that's what we are.
Speaker 4: I'll mock some stuff up.
Speaker 3: Laura Kane Awkward after Dark.
Speaker 1: Might as well be totally And now let's get serious
Speaker 1: to end the podcast, Okay, because I saw this on
Speaker 1: Instagram and for some reason, I'm on this like I've
Speaker 1: been scrolling. You know when you scroll and you hit
Speaker 1: on something, you know how you get Oh no, we'll
Speaker 1: end with that Okay. You know how like you death
Speaker 1: scroll and then like you click on something and then
Speaker 1: you get things that are like that. Oh yeah, so
Speaker 1: I clicked on something like some kind of like gratitude
Speaker 1: thing or some kind of like rules for life type
Speaker 1: of thing.
Speaker 2: Of course you did, so I got this AMR or
Speaker 2: whatever it is ASMR.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Japanese techniques to stop overthinking. I'm gonna try
Speaker 1: to say these words now. Let me. I'll probably get
Speaker 1: canceled for this, but get canceled, no, no, no, for
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna say. My dad was in the Air
Speaker 1: Force and he was stationed in Japan when he was
Speaker 1: in his late teen twenties, and so growing up, he
Speaker 1: taught us some Japanese words. But the only it's like
Speaker 1: sayonara and and uh. But the only thing I remember
Speaker 1: is how to say big boobs oki chee cheese. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's what my dad taught me. That's all I saw me,
Speaker 1: So I thought that this would be very cheese. I
Speaker 1: remember that song at Randy Yuki dosh song na. Oh no,
Speaker 1: I don't even know what that means. A chakune. I'll
Speaker 1: never forget that. Some Japanese group came in and sang
Speaker 1: that to Randy on the Jebba Josher at one time,
Speaker 1: and we played it over and over and over again,
Speaker 1: and I'll never forget it. Where you're laughing, Okay, che cheese.
Speaker 1: I know you would my dad. You would love my dad.
Speaker 1: I'm not even kidding, all right, So here, let's take
Speaker 1: a breath, like, take a breath, deep breath.
Speaker 4: It wasn't that fun, he eric deep bread.
Speaker 1: Okay, you slap happy now? Yeah, kaizen, this means to
Speaker 1: it only one percent every day, just one percent every day,
Speaker 1: because every little change leads to life changing results. You've
Speaker 1: been coughing like ten bill bzillion.
Speaker 4: Times las weeks.
Speaker 1: But what about your medicine is working? Have you been
Speaker 1: taking it?
Speaker 4: Yeah? He's just getting old.
Speaker 3: I'm just getting old and everything's shutting down.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you guys are in the sixty five plus.
Speaker 1: Shut up. Okay, Each each ego ichi, it's not okichichi,
Speaker 1: it's each ego ichi means that no, oh, it means
Speaker 1: every moment is beautiful and unrepeatable.
Speaker 4: Wait say it again, each oh goal ichi.
Speaker 1: Every moment is beautiful and unreputable. So be present, Wabbi sabby.
Speaker 1: Perfection is an illusion embraced flaws. It adds character. These
Speaker 1: are again Japanese techniques to stop overthinking. Shakata god, nay,
Speaker 1: accept what you cannot control, because when you do, peace follows.
Speaker 4: That's that's like, what's that Catholic phrase, the prayer God?
Speaker 4: I can remember right now?
Speaker 1: And also with you no no, no, not that benediction hel
Speaker 1: mariphil the lords with you.
Speaker 4: It's it's like, give me the strength, the wisdom.
Speaker 1: Of oh, the serenity prayer, Oh God grant us.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how many times have I said that in
Speaker 1: my seventeen years? And I can't say it on the
Speaker 1: spot right now, I know, dude, that's freaking me out. Okay,
Speaker 1: can to wait? Kintsugi kintsugi. Broken pieces can be mended
Speaker 1: together beautifully, so don't think you're bother this class. Yes.
Speaker 1: And finally, ma ma means fine harmony in stillness and space, appreciate.
Speaker 1: I don't know if the pauses in life.
Speaker 4: If I buy that these are the correct translations, I.
Speaker 3: Still like chi chi cheese, ch cheese.
Speaker 4: She's like, but she just has like a one syllable
Speaker 4: to like literal least English translation phrase and she's like,
Speaker 4: and it means this, like you know, four sentences.
Speaker 1: I literally copied this from this from where.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you probably just she probably is gonna be She
Speaker 2: probably just offended.
Speaker 4: Everywhere she's been teaching us swear words and problems like
Speaker 4: this means the strength to the unchangeable around.
Speaker 2: You should probably hold on. You probably see one of
Speaker 2: these words. I'm gonna see how you?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, are you going to google the English
Speaker 4: translation of a word you can't spell?
Speaker 2: He?
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I E c H I c h I
Speaker 1: I think old on? Why?
Speaker 4: But no, that does mean cheese.
Speaker 1: That does mean yes, my dad loves boobs.
Speaker 4: Okay, he was bootman.
Speaker 1: He was a bootman.
Speaker 4: It's fine, is it?
Speaker 1: K A z e n k wait? This was the
Speaker 1: first one. K A I z e n. That means
Speaker 1: to improve one percent each day. Little changes lead to
Speaker 1: life changing results. Oh no, what does it say? What
Speaker 1: does it say? Oh no, oh.
Speaker 3: You you were going to be so chased?
Speaker 1: Oh no, what does it mean? Is it Japanese?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're lying.
Speaker 3: No, I can't say it. I'll read it to you. Okay,
Speaker 3: it means continuous sex. No, I'm kidding. Means continuous improvement.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I knew it. Oh see you're a
Speaker 1: pretty good actor. You're a pretty good actor.
Speaker 4: Although when I look up how to say big boobs
Speaker 4: in Japanese, it is not what you say.
Speaker 1: Well, maybe that's okay, what is it?
Speaker 4: This one says Opie.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's the proper word. Maybe that's like big breasts.
Speaker 1: But like when slang, because you talk slang when you're
Speaker 1: you know, in the military in the bars, like hooking
Speaker 1: up with Japanese women.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Anyway, that was my childhood Oki chee cheese and all
Speaker 1: that stuff. Anyway, all right, that's it. Happy Valentine's Day,
Speaker 1: Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Valentine. I have you have a
Speaker 1: great Friday. Whatever you do. I'm going to be working
Speaker 1: and whatever, probably not getting one single thing. And you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm fine with that. I don't even care.
Speaker 1: I really don't. But Brian, you're right, this is the
Speaker 1: year I'm going to try. Maybe I don't know when
Speaker 1: I'm going to start trying, because every my mom says that,
Speaker 1: every horoscope says Gemini, this is.
Speaker 4: My no hold on. All right, if you want to try,
Speaker 4: that's great. I think you should. It should not be
Speaker 4: based on anything other than if you want to and
Speaker 4: you just actually have to do it. Horoscopes are not
Speaker 4: going to change anything about it.
Speaker 2: Hey, Laura, I want you to say to me tomorrow,
Speaker 2: thank you you have a big wiener.
Speaker 4: What that means is that big dick?
Speaker 1: What does that mean?
Speaker 4: Wow? You're so peru.
Speaker 1: Predictable.
Speaker 3: God, Well you talked about your boobs.
Speaker 1: I didn't say they were mine.
Speaker 4: I said, well I should hope so you pay for him, dude?
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Well now we have to like clean
Speaker 1: slate anyways and talk about Dune Jewelry. Oh yeah, before
Speaker 1: we complete, but show god, dude, Tomorrow is when I
Speaker 1: get my ring that I've been so eagerly waiting for.
Speaker 1: Jessica at Dune Jewelry is creating it for me. She's
Speaker 1: the one that has my dad sitting on her desk
Speaker 1: his ashes because she used them for jewelry she made
Speaker 1: for my family. This is dunejewelry dot com, where you
Speaker 1: can make beautiful designs, silver, gold necklaces, bracelets, rings, pendants,
Speaker 1: anything you want out of your loved one's ashes, out
Speaker 1: of sand or rocks from a someone that means something
Speaker 1: to you. Someone maybe where you were born or something
Speaker 1: where you got engaged. A beach somewhere in the south
Speaker 1: of France. Guaranteed. They have the sand. They have a
Speaker 1: bank of sand, over five thousand sands and grains of
Speaker 1: dirt from all over the world. They also have all
Speaker 1: the kind of crystals you could possibly want, and all
Speaker 1: of those have meanings to And then they have the
Speaker 1: designs and you pick the design and you get to
Speaker 1: custom make your ring or your necklace or your bracelet,
Speaker 1: and is so awesome. And I've been talking with Jessica
Speaker 1: and she's the one that's making my red ring with
Speaker 1: my dad's ashes at the very bottom. It's going to
Speaker 1: be so beautiful. I get it. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: show you guys next week. I get out on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, my dad's my Valentine.
Speaker 3: See.
Speaker 1: Thank you done Jewelry. Thank you, don Jewelry. I love you, guys.
Speaker 1: And if you guys, go to Dounejewelry dot com and
Speaker 1: you put.
Speaker 3: In promo code Laura Kane fifteen.
Speaker 1: You get fifteen pieces. Wow, I have fifteen percent off
Speaker 1: your order.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 4: You're welcome completing that sentence.
Speaker 3: You're welcome. We love you. Juryune Jewelry.
Speaker 1: I just think I passed a long to you.
Speaker 3: I think you did. We love you.
Speaker 1: June Jewelry Laura Kane fifteen fifty percent off your order.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being a sponsor on Laura
Speaker 1: Cane After Dark, and thank you guys so much for watching,
Speaker 1: and thank you so much for listening. Happy Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2: Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Valentine's Day, My love, no, thank you.
Speaker 3: You look and like a little sparkly heart.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Even though I have no sparkles on, I
Speaker 1: have a heart. I have a heart on.
Speaker 3: You have a heart on.
Speaker 1: Just say it, say it, don't spray it. Love your podcast,
Speaker 1: Love you my sweet babies. I love you my babies. Bye.