WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:03.919
<v Speaker 1>The content of this podcast is provided for general informational

2
00:00:03.960 --> 00:00:07.000
<v Speaker 1>purposes only and is not intended as nor should it

3
00:00:07.040 --> 00:00:21.399
<v Speaker 1>be considered a substitute for professional medical advice. Hello, this

4
00:00:21.519 --> 00:00:24.600
<v Speaker 1>is Karen Nickel, family nurse practitioner, and you are listening

5
00:00:24.679 --> 00:00:27.559
<v Speaker 1>to Itchy and Bitchy, a podcast that provides answers to

6
00:00:27.600 --> 00:00:31.760
<v Speaker 1>your many unanswered health questions. Before I get started on

7
00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:35.439
<v Speaker 1>today's episode, I want to share a recent podcast review

8
00:00:35.479 --> 00:00:40.000
<v Speaker 1>with you. This is from Cindy, and she says Karen

9
00:00:40.119 --> 00:00:42.920
<v Speaker 1>has a true gift for putting the cookies on the

10
00:00:42.920 --> 00:00:47.280
<v Speaker 1>bottom shelf. She breaks things down in a way that's clear, accessible,

11
00:00:47.359 --> 00:00:51.799
<v Speaker 1>and genuinely helpful for the average woman navigating today's fast

12
00:00:51.840 --> 00:00:54.679
<v Speaker 1>moving world. She stays right on the edge of the

13
00:00:54.759 --> 00:00:59.840
<v Speaker 1>latest trends, brings fresh insights without ever overwhelming her listeners.

14
00:01:00.359 --> 00:01:04.120
<v Speaker 1>What I love most is her balance. Every episode comes

15
00:01:04.120 --> 00:01:08.120
<v Speaker 1>with well thought out pros and cons delivered with honesty, warmth,

16
00:01:08.120 --> 00:01:11.680
<v Speaker 1>and a touch of humor. Whether you're looking to stay informed,

17
00:01:11.920 --> 00:01:16.840
<v Speaker 1>make smarter choices, or just feel understood, Karen's podcast is

18
00:01:16.840 --> 00:01:22.000
<v Speaker 1>the one you want in your rotation. Highly recommend. Okay, Wow, Cindy,

19
00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:25.640
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much for leaving review and for your

20
00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:31.280
<v Speaker 1>kind and thorough assessment of the podcast. Now onto the episode,

21
00:01:31.680 --> 00:01:35.400
<v Speaker 1>because of a recent and significant happening in the lives

22
00:01:35.400 --> 00:01:39.239
<v Speaker 1>of myself, my husband, and our son Forest, I want

23
00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:43.159
<v Speaker 1>to talk about the strength of the human animal bond

24
00:01:43.519 --> 00:01:46.640
<v Speaker 1>and the reasons why the loss of a pet can

25
00:01:46.680 --> 00:01:50.439
<v Speaker 1>be especially heartbreaking, and how to deal with the grief

26
00:01:50.480 --> 00:01:54.439
<v Speaker 1>we experience with such a loss. Our pets are always

27
00:01:54.480 --> 00:01:57.400
<v Speaker 1>there for us, even when we're in a terrible mood.

28
00:01:58.040 --> 00:02:01.040
<v Speaker 1>When I'm tired and in a poor I know it's

29
00:02:01.079 --> 00:02:03.120
<v Speaker 1>hard to believe I could be in one, but when

30
00:02:03.159 --> 00:02:06.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm tired in a poor mood, I couldn't help but

31
00:02:06.480 --> 00:02:09.840
<v Speaker 1>approach our love bird named Saki and talk to her

32
00:02:09.879 --> 00:02:14.080
<v Speaker 1>in a happy, playful voice. For example, I would say,

33
00:02:14.520 --> 00:02:15.680
<v Speaker 1>how's my baby doing?

34
00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:16.479
<v Speaker 2>What are you up to?

35
00:02:16.599 --> 00:02:20.159
<v Speaker 1>What you doing? There is no other relationship like the

36
00:02:20.199 --> 00:02:23.479
<v Speaker 1>one we have with our pets. The bonds are very

37
00:02:23.479 --> 00:02:28.439
<v Speaker 1>special and they offer us unconditional love and support. Now,

38
00:02:29.080 --> 00:02:32.680
<v Speaker 1>in the case of Saki, she was so sweet, but

39
00:02:32.800 --> 00:02:36.960
<v Speaker 1>she could and did crush your finger with a powerful

40
00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:39.479
<v Speaker 1>beak if you wanted her to do something she didn't

41
00:02:39.479 --> 00:02:42.919
<v Speaker 1>want to do. Our animal buddies are often there throughout

42
00:02:43.080 --> 00:02:46.479
<v Speaker 1>different phases of our life. We got an orange and

43
00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:49.639
<v Speaker 1>white tabby cat for the family when Forrest was four

44
00:02:49.960 --> 00:02:55.199
<v Speaker 1>years old. Forrest named him John, and we lovingly called

45
00:02:55.240 --> 00:02:58.759
<v Speaker 1>him John Kitty Kitty, or JKK for short. He was

46
00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:03.879
<v Speaker 1>an amazing pet. He lived for twenty one years, so

47
00:03:03.960 --> 00:03:11.560
<v Speaker 1>he saw Forest through preschool, grade school, middle school, high school, college,

48
00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:17.479
<v Speaker 1>and into his adulthood following college. Amazing John was a

49
00:03:17.560 --> 00:03:22.560
<v Speaker 1>constant presence and dependable relationship through many major changes in

50
00:03:22.680 --> 00:03:26.560
<v Speaker 1>Forest's life. For some people, the amount of time they

51
00:03:26.639 --> 00:03:30.680
<v Speaker 1>spend with their pets is greater than with anyone else.

52
00:03:31.680 --> 00:03:35.560
<v Speaker 1>Since a bird, cat, dog, or any other animal companion

53
00:03:35.759 --> 00:03:39.199
<v Speaker 1>can bring out the best in us, we can feel

54
00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:43.159
<v Speaker 1>like we have lost part of ourselves when we lose them.

55
00:03:43.599 --> 00:03:46.080
<v Speaker 1>They teach us how to open our hearts to be

56
00:03:46.199 --> 00:03:50.800
<v Speaker 1>more loving and giving. Saki not only pierced our fingers

57
00:03:50.840 --> 00:03:54.599
<v Speaker 1>a time or two, she pierced our hearts and made

58
00:03:54.639 --> 00:03:58.080
<v Speaker 1>us better people. Our pets become part of our family

59
00:03:58.159 --> 00:04:03.240
<v Speaker 1>and identity. Key is Forest's lubbird, whom we adopted seven

60
00:04:03.319 --> 00:04:08.319
<v Speaker 1>years ago when Forest's housing situation changed. So Andy and

61
00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:12.560
<v Speaker 1>I are Granddad and Grandma, and we refer to ourselves

62
00:04:12.560 --> 00:04:15.800
<v Speaker 1>in that way when we chatted with her, she became

63
00:04:15.919 --> 00:04:19.079
<v Speaker 1>a beloved member of our family and brought fun and

64
00:04:19.240 --> 00:04:23.399
<v Speaker 1>joy to our lives. Your pet can also add structure

65
00:04:23.480 --> 00:04:26.680
<v Speaker 1>to your day, keep you active and social, and help

66
00:04:26.759 --> 00:04:31.600
<v Speaker 1>you to overcome life's challenges. Because our furry, feathered or

67
00:04:31.639 --> 00:04:35.519
<v Speaker 1>scaled friends depend on us for all their needs, they

68
00:04:35.560 --> 00:04:39.319
<v Speaker 1>can give us a sense of purpose and meaning. Many

69
00:04:39.399 --> 00:04:43.560
<v Speaker 1>pets help fill the human basic need for physical touch

70
00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:47.759
<v Speaker 1>and affection. We know that cuddling or snuggling with our

71
00:04:47.800 --> 00:04:51.600
<v Speaker 1>pets not only makes us feel better, it actually improves

72
00:04:51.639 --> 00:04:55.480
<v Speaker 1>our health. We have studies to prove it. Now that

73
00:04:55.600 --> 00:05:01.000
<v Speaker 1>being said, Saki loved to snuggle with Forest was not

74
00:05:01.240 --> 00:05:04.519
<v Speaker 1>her favorite thing when it came to her grandparents. I

75
00:05:04.600 --> 00:05:07.439
<v Speaker 1>have been referring to our love bird sake in the

76
00:05:07.519 --> 00:05:12.279
<v Speaker 1>past tense because she passed away recently on January fifteenth,

77
00:05:12.439 --> 00:05:16.360
<v Speaker 1>twenty twenty six, after a very brief illness, and the

78
00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:20.639
<v Speaker 1>grief and sadness is real. She filled this home with

79
00:05:20.759 --> 00:05:24.920
<v Speaker 1>her chirps and clicks, and now it is filled with silence.

80
00:05:25.759 --> 00:05:28.360
<v Speaker 1>After this quick break, I'll review some of the ways

81
00:05:28.399 --> 00:05:31.160
<v Speaker 1>you can process the loss of a pet, and some

82
00:05:31.319 --> 00:05:34.720
<v Speaker 1>of the ways we have been processing Saki's death.

83
00:05:35.160 --> 00:05:50.480
<v Speaker 2>I'll be right back, Welcome back.

84
00:05:50.959 --> 00:05:54.199
<v Speaker 1>A pet loss can be extra difficult because some of

85
00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:59.279
<v Speaker 1>our friends, family, and coworkers might not understand. They might

86
00:05:59.360 --> 00:06:02.879
<v Speaker 1>say something like, get over it. It's only an animal.

87
00:06:03.959 --> 00:06:06.639
<v Speaker 1>This has happened to me in the past, and if

88
00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:10.399
<v Speaker 1>this happens to you, it is best not to argue

89
00:06:10.399 --> 00:06:13.519
<v Speaker 1>with that person or person's about whether your grief is

90
00:06:13.560 --> 00:06:18.040
<v Speaker 1>appropriate or not. Rather, it's best to realize and accept

91
00:06:18.199 --> 00:06:22.240
<v Speaker 1>the fact that the best source of support may come

92
00:06:22.279 --> 00:06:26.800
<v Speaker 1>from outside your usual circle of friends and family members.

93
00:06:27.480 --> 00:06:29.959
<v Speaker 1>You can seek out others who have lost pets, as

94
00:06:29.959 --> 00:06:33.680
<v Speaker 1>they are likely to be able to appreciate the magnitude

95
00:06:33.800 --> 00:06:37.439
<v Speaker 1>of your loss and can share methods they used to

96
00:06:37.560 --> 00:06:41.480
<v Speaker 1>work through their grieving process. While some people may not

97
00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:44.639
<v Speaker 1>understand the depth of feeling you had for your pet,

98
00:06:45.240 --> 00:06:49.639
<v Speaker 1>you should never feel guilty or ashamed about grieving for

99
00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:54.879
<v Speaker 1>your beloved animal companion. Let yourself feel whatever you feel

100
00:06:54.920 --> 00:06:58.879
<v Speaker 1>without embarrassment or judgment. It's okay to be angry, to cry,

101
00:06:59.040 --> 00:07:02.480
<v Speaker 1>or not to cry. I have done plenty of crying

102
00:07:02.519 --> 00:07:05.319
<v Speaker 1>for our little Saki in front of all kinds of people,

103
00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:08.680
<v Speaker 1>and I'm not much of a crier. It's also okay

104
00:07:08.720 --> 00:07:12.040
<v Speaker 1>to remember your pet joyfully and to let go when

105
00:07:12.079 --> 00:07:15.839
<v Speaker 1>you're ready. Your journey of grief will not take on

106
00:07:16.040 --> 00:07:20.240
<v Speaker 1>a prescribed pattern or series of changes. Here are some

107
00:07:20.399 --> 00:07:23.879
<v Speaker 1>of the things to consider while you are actively mourning

108
00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:28.319
<v Speaker 1>your loss. Acknowledging the full reality of your loss may

109
00:07:28.399 --> 00:07:32.279
<v Speaker 1>take weeks or months, and will happen in a time

110
00:07:32.519 --> 00:07:35.920
<v Speaker 1>that is right for you. Be kind to yourself as

111
00:07:35.959 --> 00:07:40.040
<v Speaker 1>you adjust to life without your sweet pet. The stress

112
00:07:40.079 --> 00:07:44.079
<v Speaker 1>of losing an animal friend can quickly deplete your energy

113
00:07:44.199 --> 00:07:48.759
<v Speaker 1>and your emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional

114
00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:52.920
<v Speaker 1>needs will help you get through this difficult time. Spend

115
00:07:52.959 --> 00:07:55.759
<v Speaker 1>time face to face with people who care about you.

116
00:07:56.399 --> 00:07:59.920
<v Speaker 1>Eat a healthy diet, get plenty of sleep, and exercise

117
00:08:00.120 --> 00:08:04.800
<v Speaker 1>regularly to boost endorphins and help improve your mood. I

118
00:08:04.839 --> 00:08:08.040
<v Speaker 1>can tell you right now there are listeners out there

119
00:08:08.439 --> 00:08:10.959
<v Speaker 1>who know me, and I can hear them saying to me,

120
00:08:11.839 --> 00:08:15.639
<v Speaker 1>write Karen, take your own advice, and I promise that

121
00:08:15.759 --> 00:08:19.959
<v Speaker 1>I am trying to do so. Remember that just as

122
00:08:20.040 --> 00:08:23.639
<v Speaker 1>it took time to build the relationship with your pet,

123
00:08:24.079 --> 00:08:27.680
<v Speaker 1>remember when you first got them, it will also take

124
00:08:27.800 --> 00:08:32.279
<v Speaker 1>time to get used to them not being there. Take

125
00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:35.480
<v Speaker 1>your time to work through your feelings. Rather than trying

126
00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:38.879
<v Speaker 1>to push them away or ignoring them. You can continue

127
00:08:38.919 --> 00:08:42.159
<v Speaker 1>your relationship through your memories, which allows your pet to

128
00:08:42.200 --> 00:08:47.039
<v Speaker 1>live on in you. Embracing these memories, both happy and said,

129
00:08:47.799 --> 00:08:52.279
<v Speaker 1>may require small steps, but they are important steps.

130
00:08:52.919 --> 00:08:53.720
<v Speaker 2>Take time to.

131
00:08:53.679 --> 00:08:56.759
<v Speaker 1>Look at photos or write about the time you had together.

132
00:08:57.360 --> 00:09:00.559
<v Speaker 1>Remembering the fun and love you shared with your pet

133
00:09:00.639 --> 00:09:04.440
<v Speaker 1>can help you to eventually move on. A funeral can

134
00:09:04.519 --> 00:09:08.679
<v Speaker 1>help you and your family members openly express your feelings.

135
00:09:09.440 --> 00:09:13.919
<v Speaker 1>Rituals like this can aid healing for Saki. I made

136
00:09:13.919 --> 00:09:17.440
<v Speaker 1>a burial wrap of beautiful handmade paper and decorated it

137
00:09:17.480 --> 00:09:20.840
<v Speaker 1>with one of Saki's feathers. My husband and I stood

138
00:09:20.879 --> 00:09:24.720
<v Speaker 1>beside her grave and thanked Saki for all she gave

139
00:09:24.799 --> 00:09:28.679
<v Speaker 1>to us and to forest. I marked her grave with

140
00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:32.639
<v Speaker 1>the pink bell that she loved so much. It was

141
00:09:32.759 --> 00:09:36.720
<v Speaker 1>her absolute favorite toy, and it was big enough for

142
00:09:36.759 --> 00:09:39.679
<v Speaker 1>her to stick her head into and listen to herself

143
00:09:39.799 --> 00:09:44.240
<v Speaker 1>chirp away. I also have saved some of Saki's feathers

144
00:09:44.679 --> 00:09:48.919
<v Speaker 1>to help us remember her gorgeous green, peach and blue plumes.

145
00:09:49.480 --> 00:09:53.360
<v Speaker 1>When a pet dies, it's natural to question the meaning

146
00:09:53.519 --> 00:09:56.639
<v Speaker 1>and purpose of pets in your life. Do I want

147
00:09:56.679 --> 00:09:59.879
<v Speaker 1>another pet? Why do I have a pet? Coming to

148
00:10:00.200 --> 00:10:03.399
<v Speaker 1>terms with these questions is another need you must meet

149
00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:08.080
<v Speaker 1>during your grief journey. Be aware that it's in the asking,

150
00:10:08.919 --> 00:10:14.279
<v Speaker 1>not the finding of concrete answers, that is important. Accept

151
00:10:14.480 --> 00:10:17.559
<v Speaker 1>the love and support of others, because you never just

152
00:10:17.879 --> 00:10:21.799
<v Speaker 1>get over grief again. You can meet this need by

153
00:10:21.840 --> 00:10:25.080
<v Speaker 1>talking to other pet owners who have experienced the death

154
00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:29.000
<v Speaker 1>of a pet. The experience of loss is different for

155
00:10:29.159 --> 00:10:35.559
<v Speaker 1>everyone and can present unique challenges. Sometimes we can overthink

156
00:10:35.720 --> 00:10:39.360
<v Speaker 1>things during morning rather than listening to our hearts. If

157
00:10:39.399 --> 00:10:43.120
<v Speaker 1>you find yourself comparing your level of grief to others

158
00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:45.559
<v Speaker 1>who have what you might consider to be a more

159
00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:51.039
<v Speaker 1>significant loss, remember that your grief is your grief, and

160
00:10:51.120 --> 00:10:54.120
<v Speaker 1>you are as deserving of the care and attention as

161
00:10:54.279 --> 00:10:58.559
<v Speaker 1>anyone else who has experienced loss. If your grief is

162
00:10:58.679 --> 00:11:02.919
<v Speaker 1>persistent and it interferes with your ability to function, it

163
00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:06.759
<v Speaker 1>is important to seek professional help if needed. If you

164
00:11:06.840 --> 00:11:10.840
<v Speaker 1>don't already have a mental health professional to contact, reach

165
00:11:10.879 --> 00:11:13.840
<v Speaker 1>out to your primary care provider for an appointment to

166
00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:18.279
<v Speaker 1>discuss treatment options. I will post some pictures of Sake

167
00:11:18.519 --> 00:11:21.679
<v Speaker 1>and how we memorialized her on our website and Facebook

168
00:11:21.759 --> 00:11:25.480
<v Speaker 1>page if you want to see our precious bird Minnie.

169
00:11:25.519 --> 00:11:28.440
<v Speaker 1>Thanks to all of you for listening. Wherever you listen

170
00:11:28.519 --> 00:11:31.879
<v Speaker 1>to this podcast, please leave a review and rate the podcast.

171
00:11:32.360 --> 00:11:35.320
<v Speaker 1>Your reviews and ratings really matter, and thank you Cindy

172
00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:38.360
<v Speaker 1>for your review. Also, make sure you follow the show

173
00:11:38.399 --> 00:11:41.200
<v Speaker 1>so that it will be automatically downloaded. That matters too.

174
00:11:41.960 --> 00:11:44.399
<v Speaker 1>I encourage you to visit our Facebook page I and

175
00:11:44.600 --> 00:11:47.279
<v Speaker 1>B Podcast, where you can give us a like and

176
00:11:47.360 --> 00:11:50.639
<v Speaker 1>leave comments or questions for me. Our website is Itchy

177
00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:53.000
<v Speaker 1>andbitchi dot com, where there are blogs with some of

178
00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:56.960
<v Speaker 1>our subjects available for you to read. As I mentioned,

179
00:11:57.000 --> 00:11:59.679
<v Speaker 1>I will share some pics of our sweet lovebirdsake on

180
00:11:59.679 --> 00:12:03.559
<v Speaker 1>the web, website and Facebook page. Thank you to Forrest

181
00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:08.279
<v Speaker 1>winsl my son Saki's dad, our producer and composer of

182
00:12:08.279 --> 00:12:11.159
<v Speaker 1>our theme music, and the person who does all the

183
00:12:11.200 --> 00:12:14.320
<v Speaker 1>behind the scenes work to make this podcast possible.

184
00:12:14.600 --> 00:12:14.960
<v Speaker 2>Thank you.

185
00:12:15.039 --> 00:12:19.720
<v Speaker 1>Forest Forest continues to thrive at Peabody Music Conservatory and

186
00:12:19.840 --> 00:12:24.000
<v Speaker 1>started his final semester of the Master's program. If you

187
00:12:24.039 --> 00:12:26.159
<v Speaker 1>want to listen to what he's creating, you can go

188
00:12:26.279 --> 00:12:32.440
<v Speaker 1>to his website Forestwinsole dot com. Remember that your health

189
00:12:32.679 --> 00:12:44.440
<v Speaker 1>is in your hands.