WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.240 --> 00:00:06.879 Chapter one of The Secret Battle by A. P. Herbert. This is 2 00:00:06.879 --> 00:00:13.119 a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more 3 00:00:13.160 --> 00:00:21.879 information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording by Roger Maaline 4 00:00:22.600 --> 00:00:30.399 The Secret Battle by A. P. Herbert, Chapter one. I am 5 00:00:30.399 --> 00:00:35.200 going to write down some of the history of Harry Penrose, because I do 6 00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:39.640 not think full justice has been done to him, and because there must be 7 00:00:39.719 --> 00:00:44.119 many other young men of his kind who flung themselves into this war at the 8 00:00:44.159 --> 00:00:48.280 beginning of it, and have gone out of it after many sufferings, with 9 00:00:48.399 --> 00:00:54.520 the unjust and ignorant condemnation of their fellows. At times, it may be 10 00:00:54.880 --> 00:01:00.399 I shall seem to digress into the dreary commonplaces of all war chronicles, but 11 00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:06.959 you will never understand the ruthless progression of Penrose's tragedy without some acquaintance with each 12 00:01:07.079 --> 00:01:11.319 chapter of his life in the army. He joined the battalion only a few 13 00:01:11.400 --> 00:01:18.640 days before we left Plymouth for Gallipoli, a shy, intelligent looking person with 14 00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:23.719 smooth, freckled skin and quick nervous movements. And although he was at once 15 00:01:23.799 --> 00:01:29.400 posted to my company, we had not become at all intimate when we steamed 16 00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:34.760 at last into Mudros Bay. But he had interested me from the first and 17 00:01:34.879 --> 00:01:38.879 at intervals in the busy routine of a troop ship passing without escort through submarine 18 00:01:38.920 --> 00:01:45.519 waters, I had been watching him and delighting in his keenness and happy disposition. 19 00:01:46.959 --> 00:01:51.200 It was not my first voyage through the Mediterranean, though it was the 20 00:01:51.280 --> 00:01:55.120 first I had made in a transport, and I liked to see my own 21 00:01:55.239 --> 00:02:00.439 earlier enthusiasm vividly reproduced in him. Cape spart Tell, and the first glimpse 22 00:02:00.480 --> 00:02:07.079 of Africa, Tangiers and Tarifa, and all that magical hours steaming through the 23 00:02:07.159 --> 00:02:12.800 narrow waters, with the pink and white houses hiding under the hills, Gibraltar 24 00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:17.680 town shimmering and asleep in the noonday sun, Malta and the bumboat women, 25 00:02:19.319 --> 00:02:24.240 carozzes swaying through the narrow, chattering streets, cool drinks at cafes in a 26 00:02:24.280 --> 00:02:30.319 babble of strange tongues. All these were to Penrose, part of the authentic 27 00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:37.000 glamor of the East. And he said so. I might have told him, 28 00:02:37.039 --> 00:02:40.639 with the fatuous pomp of wider experience, that they were, in truth, 29 00:02:40.759 --> 00:02:45.759 but a very distant reflection of the genuine East. But I did not, 30 00:02:46.840 --> 00:02:51.719 for it was refreshing to see anyone so frankly confessing to the sensations of 31 00:02:51.759 --> 00:02:57.800 adventure and romance. To other members of the officer's mess, the spectacle of 32 00:02:57.840 --> 00:03:02.039 Gibraltar from the sea may have been more stimulating than the spectacle of South End, 33 00:03:02.479 --> 00:03:07.919 though this is doubtful, but it is certain that few of them would 34 00:03:07.960 --> 00:03:13.319 have admitted the grave impeachment. At Malta, some of us spent an evening 35 00:03:13.319 --> 00:03:17.400 ashore and sat for a little in a tawdry, riotous little cafe, where 36 00:03:17.479 --> 00:03:23.360 two poor singing women strove vainly to make themselves heard above the pandemonium of clinked 37 00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:30.879 glasses and bald orders. There we met many officers newly returned from the landing 38 00:03:30.879 --> 00:03:35.919 at Cape Helly's, some of them with slightly bodily wounds, but all of 39 00:03:35.960 --> 00:03:40.319 them with grievous injuries staring out of their eyes. Those of them who would 40 00:03:40.319 --> 00:03:46.000 speak at all were voluble with anecdotes of horror and blood. Most of our 41 00:03:46.039 --> 00:03:50.919 own party had not yet lost the light hearted mood in which men went to 42 00:03:50.960 --> 00:03:54.840 the war. In those days. The picnic illusion of war was not yet 43 00:03:54.919 --> 00:04:02.599 dispelled also individually. No doubt we had that curious confidence of the unblooded soldier, 44 00:04:02.759 --> 00:04:08.159 that none of these strange, terrible things could ever actually happen to us. 45 00:04:09.599 --> 00:04:14.360 We should forever hang upon the pleasant fringes of war, sailing in strange 46 00:04:14.400 --> 00:04:20.120 seas and drinking in strange towns, but never definitely entangled in the more crude 47 00:04:20.120 --> 00:04:26.279 and distasteful circumstances of battle. And if there were any of us with a 48 00:04:26.399 --> 00:04:31.040 secret consciousness that we deceived ourselves to night was no time to tear away the 49 00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:39.120 veil. Let there be lights and laughter and wine tomorrow, if need be, 50 00:04:39.800 --> 00:04:44.040 let us be told how the wounded had drowned in the wired shallows, 51 00:04:44.199 --> 00:04:47.720 and reckon the toll of that unforgettable exploit, and the terrors that were still 52 00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:55.360 at work. And so we would not be dragooned into seriousness by these messengers 53 00:04:55.399 --> 00:05:00.600 from the Peninsula, but rather, with no injury to their feelings, laughed 54 00:05:00.600 --> 00:05:06.399 at their croakings and continued to drink. But Harry Penrose was different. He 55 00:05:06.560 --> 00:05:14.480 was all eagerness to hear every detail hideous and heroic. There was one officer 56 00:05:14.560 --> 00:05:18.680 present from the twenty ninth Division, a man about thirty with a tanned, 57 00:05:18.839 --> 00:05:25.399 melancholy face and great solemn eyes, which, for all the horrors he related, 58 00:05:25.759 --> 00:05:30.319 seemed to have something yet more horrible hidden in their depths. Him Harry 59 00:05:30.399 --> 00:05:36.920 plied with questions, his reveler's mood flung impatiently aside, and the man seemed 60 00:05:36.920 --> 00:05:44.639 ready to tell him things, though from his occasional reservations and sorrowful smile I 61 00:05:44.759 --> 00:05:47.680 knew that he was pitying Harry for his youth, his eagerness, and his 62 00:05:47.800 --> 00:05:55.199 ignorance. Around us were the curses of overworked waiters, and the babble of 63 00:05:55.319 --> 00:06:01.639 loud conversations and the smell of spilt beer. There were two officers uproariously drunk, 64 00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:06.560 and in the distance, pathetic snatches of songs were heard from the struggling 65 00:06:06.600 --> 00:06:12.480 singer on the dais. We were in one of the first outposts of the 66 00:06:12.560 --> 00:06:17.800 Empire and half way to one of her greatest adventures, and this excited youth 67 00:06:17.839 --> 00:06:23.000 at my side was the only one of all that throng who was ready to 68 00:06:23.040 --> 00:06:28.319 hear the truth of it and to speak of death. I lay emphasis on 69 00:06:28.399 --> 00:06:33.120 this incident because it well illustrates his attitude towards the war at that time, 70 00:06:33.720 --> 00:06:40.240 which too many have now forgotten. And because I then first found the image, 71 00:06:40.240 --> 00:06:46.079 which alone reflects the many curiosities of his personality. He was like an 72 00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:51.319 imaginative, inquisitive child, a child that cherishes a secret gallery of pictures in 73 00:06:51.399 --> 00:06:57.759 its mind, and must continually be feeding the storehouse with new pictures of the 74 00:06:57.920 --> 00:07:01.720 unknown, that is not content with a vague outline of something that is to 75 00:07:01.759 --> 00:07:06.000 come, a dentist, or a visit, or a doll, but will 76 00:07:06.040 --> 00:07:11.800 not rest till the experience is safely put away. In its place a clear, 77 00:07:12.079 --> 00:07:17.120 uncompromising picture, to be taken down and played with at will. Moreover, 78 00:07:17.240 --> 00:07:21.000 he had the fearlessness of a child. But I shall come to that 79 00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:27.720 later. And so we came to Mudros, threading a placid way between the 80 00:07:27.800 --> 00:07:33.319 deceitful Aegean islands. Harry loved them because they wore so green and inviting an 81 00:07:33.360 --> 00:07:39.079 aspect. And again I did not undeceive him and tell him how parched and 82 00:07:39.279 --> 00:07:44.839 austere, how barren of comfortable grass and shade he would find them on closer 83 00:07:44.879 --> 00:07:49.879 acquaintance. We steamed into Mudros Bay at the end of an unbelievable sunset. 84 00:07:50.519 --> 00:07:57.360 In the great harbor, were gathered regiments of ships battleship, cruiser, tramp, 85 00:07:57.720 --> 00:08:01.839 transport and trawler, And as the sun sank into the western hills, 86 00:08:03.319 --> 00:08:07.839 the masts and the rigging of all of them were radiant with its last rays, 87 00:08:07.040 --> 00:08:11.000 while all their decks and hulls lay already in the soft blue dusk. 88 00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:20.360 There is something extraordinarily soothing in the almost imperceptible motion of a big steamer gliding 89 00:08:20.399 --> 00:08:24.560 at slow speed to her anchorage. As I leaned over the rail of the 90 00:08:24.639 --> 00:08:30.680 boat deck and heard the tiny bugle calls float across from the French or English 91 00:08:30.680 --> 00:08:35.559 warships, and watched the miniature crews at work upon their decks, I became 92 00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:41.039 aware that Penrose was similarly engaged close at hand, and it seemed to me 93 00:08:41.080 --> 00:08:48.399 an opportunity to learn something of the history of this strange young man. Beginning 94 00:08:48.480 --> 00:08:52.039 with his delight in the voyage and all the marvelous romance of our surroundings, 95 00:08:52.600 --> 00:08:58.960 I led him on to speak of himself. Both his parents had died when 96 00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:01.759 he was a buoy AT's Cool. They had left him enough to go to 97 00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:07.879 Oxford upon without the help of the exhibition he had won, and he had 98 00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:11.919 but just completed his second year there when the war broke out. For some 99 00:09:13.039 --> 00:09:18.600 mysterious reason, he had immediately enlisted instead of applying for a commission like his 100 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:24.759 friends. I gathered, though not from anything, he directly said that he 101 00:09:24.799 --> 00:09:28.799 had had a hard time in the ranks. The majority of his companions in 102 00:09:28.840 --> 00:09:35.519 training had come down from the North with the first draft of Timesiders, and 103 00:09:35.679 --> 00:09:39.759 though God knows, the Timesider as a fighting man has been unsurpassed in this 104 00:09:39.879 --> 00:09:46.600 war. They were a wild, rough crowd before they became soldiers, and 105 00:09:46.720 --> 00:09:50.159 I can understand that for a high strung, sensitive boy of his type, 106 00:09:50.679 --> 00:09:56.559 the intimate daily round of eating, talking, and sleeping with them must have 107 00:09:56.639 --> 00:10:01.480 made large demands in his patriotism and grit. But he said it did him 108 00:10:01.519 --> 00:10:07.679 good, and it was only the pestering of his guardian and relations that after 109 00:10:07.799 --> 00:10:13.440 six months forced him to take a commission. He had a curious lack of 110 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:18.919 confidence in his fitness to be an officer, a feeling which is deplorably absent 111 00:10:18.039 --> 00:10:22.759 in hundreds not half as fit as he was. But from what I had 112 00:10:22.759 --> 00:10:28.279 seen of his handling of his platoon on the voyage, and the men are 113 00:10:28.399 --> 00:10:31.600 difficult. After a week or two at sea, I was able to assure 114 00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:37.440 him that he need have no qualms. He was, I discovered, pathetically 115 00:10:37.480 --> 00:10:45.000 full of military ambitions. He dreamed already, he confessed, of decorations and 116 00:10:45.159 --> 00:10:50.639 promotions and glorious charges. In short, he was like many other undergraduate officer 117 00:10:50.679 --> 00:10:56.919 of those days in his eagerness and readiness for sacrifice, but far removed from 118 00:10:56.960 --> 00:11:03.519 the common type in his romantic, too imaginative outlook towards the war. Romantic 119 00:11:03.720 --> 00:11:09.000 is the only word I think, and it is melancholy for me to remember 120 00:11:09.039 --> 00:11:13.120 that. Even then I said to myself, I wonder how long the romance 121 00:11:13.159 --> 00:11:18.679 will last, my son, But I could not guess just how terrible was 122 00:11:18.720 --> 00:11:24.279 to be its decay. We were not to be long at Moodro's. For 123 00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:28.360 three days we lay in the sweltering heat of the great hill circled bay, 124 00:11:28.759 --> 00:11:33.600 watching the warships come and go, and buying fruit from the little Greek sailing 125 00:11:33.639 --> 00:11:39.919 boats which flooded around the harbor. These were days of hot anxiety about one's 126 00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:48.840 kit. Hourly each officer reorganized and redisposed his asiduous belongings, and re weighed 127 00:11:48.919 --> 00:11:54.440 his valise, and jettisoned yet more precious articles of comfort lest the weight regulations 128 00:11:54.519 --> 00:11:58.720 be violated, and for the sake of an extra shirt, the whole of 129 00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:03.840 one equipment be cast into the sea by the mysterious figure we believed to watch 130 00:12:03.879 --> 00:12:09.600 over these things. Afterwards, we found that all our care was in vain, 131 00:12:11.200 --> 00:12:16.279 and in the comfortless camps of the peninsula bitterly bewailed the little luxuries we 132 00:12:16.360 --> 00:12:24.200 had needlessly left behind, now so unattainable. Down in the odorous troop decks, 133 00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:28.360 the men wrote long letters describing the battles in which they were already engaged, 134 00:12:28.679 --> 00:12:35.320 and the sound of quite mythical guns. But on the third day came 135 00:12:35.360 --> 00:12:39.840 our sailing orders. In the evening, a little trawler promoted to the dignity 136 00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:46.440 of a fleet sweeper, came alongside, and all the regiment of gross overloaded 137 00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:52.399 figures, festooned with armament and bags of food and strange knobby parcels, tumbled 138 00:12:52.440 --> 00:12:58.480 heavily over the side. Many men have written of the sailing of the first 139 00:12:58.600 --> 00:13:03.240 argassy of troopships from that bay, and by this time the spectacle of departing 140 00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:09.399 troops was an old one to the vessels there. But this did not diminish 141 00:13:09.440 --> 00:13:15.799 the quality of their farewells. All the King's ships manned ship as we passed, 142 00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:20.480 and sent us a great wave of cheering that filled the heart with sadness 143 00:13:20.600 --> 00:13:26.159 and resolution. In one of the French ships was a party of her crew 144 00:13:26.360 --> 00:13:31.360 high up somewhere above the deck, and they sang for us with astonishing accuracy 145 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:37.240 and feeling, the Chans du des pars. So moving was this that even 146 00:13:37.240 --> 00:13:43.200 the stolid northerners in our sweeper were stirred to make some more articulate acknowledgment than 147 00:13:43.240 --> 00:13:48.200 the official British cheer. And one old pitman, searching among his memories of 148 00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:56.440 some Lancashire music hall, dug out a rough version of the Marseillaise by degrees. 149 00:13:56.720 --> 00:14:00.759 All our men took up the tune and sang it mightily, with no 150 00:14:00.879 --> 00:14:07.240 suspicion of words, and the officers not less timidly joined in and were proud 151 00:14:07.240 --> 00:14:11.120 of the men for what they had done. For many were moved in that 152 00:14:11.279 --> 00:14:16.759 moment who were never moved before. But while we were yet warm with cheering 153 00:14:16.879 --> 00:14:20.039 and the sense of knighthood, we cleared the boom and shivered a little in 154 00:14:20.080 --> 00:14:26.360 the breeze of the open sea. The sun went down, and soon it 155 00:14:26.480 --> 00:14:30.879 was very cold in the sweeper, and in each man's heart, I think 156 00:14:30.919 --> 00:14:35.799 there was a certain chill. There were no more songs, but the men 157 00:14:35.879 --> 00:14:43.360 whispered in small groups or stood silent, shifting uneasily their wearisome packs. For 158 00:14:43.559 --> 00:14:48.879 now we were indeed cut on from civilization and committed to the unknown. The 159 00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:54.759 transport we had left seemed a very haven of comfort and security. One thought 160 00:14:54.840 --> 00:15:00.679 longingly of white tables in the saloon, and the unfriendly linen and bags of 161 00:15:00.759 --> 00:15:05.799 bully beef and biscuits we carried were concrete evidence of a new life. The 162 00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:11.600 war seemed no longer remote, and each of us realized indignantly that we were 163 00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:18.200 personally involved in it. So for a little all these soldiers had a period 164 00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:22.519 of serious thought, unusual in the soldier's life. But as we neared the 165 00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:30.080 peninsula, the excitement and novelty, and the prospect of exercising cramped limbs brought 166 00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:35.399 back valor and cheerfulness. At Malta, we had heard many tales of the 167 00:15:35.480 --> 00:15:41.639 still terrifying ordeal of landing under fire, but such terrors were not for us. 168 00:15:43.600 --> 00:15:46.039 There was a bright moon, and as we saw the pale cliffs of 169 00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:52.399 Cape Helly's all I think expected each moment a torrent of shells from some obscure 170 00:15:52.519 --> 00:16:00.279 quarter. But instead, an unearthly stillness brooded over the two bays, and 171 00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:04.159 only a morse lamp blinking at the sweeper suggested that any living thing was there. 172 00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:11.519 And there came over the water a strange, musty smell. Some said 173 00:16:11.519 --> 00:16:15.679 it was the smell of the dead, and some the smell of an incinerator. 174 00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:18.840 Myself, I do not know, but it was the smell of the 175 00:16:18.919 --> 00:16:26.320 peninsula forever, which no man can forget. We disembarked at a pier of 176 00:16:26.440 --> 00:16:32.639 rafts by the River Clyde, and stumbled eagerly ashore, and now we were 177 00:16:32.639 --> 00:16:37.480 in the very heart of heroic things. Nowhere, I think, was the 178 00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:41.919 new soldier plunged so suddenly into the genuine scenes of war as he was at 179 00:16:41.960 --> 00:16:48.240 Gallipoli. In France. There was a long transition of training camps and railway 180 00:16:48.279 --> 00:16:53.559 trains and billets, and he moved by easy gradations to the firing line. 181 00:16:55.360 --> 00:17:00.879 But here, a few hours after a night in linen sheets, stood suddenly 182 00:17:00.919 --> 00:17:06.400 on the very sand where, but three weeks before, those hideous machine guns 183 00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:11.680 in the cliffs had mowned down that astonishing party of April twenty fifth, and 184 00:17:11.799 --> 00:17:18.720 in that silver stillness it was difficult to believe. We shambled off up the 185 00:17:18.759 --> 00:17:23.240 steady slope between two cliffs, marveling that any men could have prevailed against so 186 00:17:23.319 --> 00:17:29.920 perfect a field of fire. By now we were very tired, and it 187 00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:36.599 was heavy work laboring through the soft sand. Queer Moorish looking figures in white 188 00:17:36.680 --> 00:17:41.960 robes peered at us from dark corners, and here and there a man poked 189 00:17:41.960 --> 00:17:47.599 a tousled head from a hole in the ground and blinked upon our progress. 190 00:17:47.640 --> 00:17:51.880 Someone remarked that it reminded him of nothing so much as the native camp at 191 00:17:51.880 --> 00:17:57.000 Earl's Court on a fine August evening, and that indeed was the effect. 192 00:17:59.119 --> 00:18:03.559 After a little the stillness was broken by a sound which we could not conceal 193 00:18:03.680 --> 00:18:11.000 from ourselves. Was the distant rattle of musketry. Somewhere a gun fired startlingly. 194 00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:15.319 And now as we went, each man felt vaguely that at any minute 195 00:18:15.319 --> 00:18:19.319 we might be plunged into the thick of a battle, laden as we were, 196 00:18:19.880 --> 00:18:26.519 and I think each man braced himself for a desperate struggle, such as 197 00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:32.400 the effect of marching in the dark to an unknown destination. Soon we were 198 00:18:32.440 --> 00:18:37.319 halted in a piece of apparently waste land, circled by trees, and ordered 199 00:18:37.319 --> 00:18:41.279 to dig ourselves a habitation at once, for in the morning, it was 200 00:18:41.359 --> 00:18:48.759 whispered, the Turks search all this ground. Everything was said in a kind 201 00:18:48.759 --> 00:18:53.559 of hoarse, mysterious whisper, presumably to conceal our observations from the ears of 202 00:18:53.599 --> 00:19:00.200 the Turks five miles away. But then we did not know they were five 203 00:19:00.279 --> 00:19:04.759 miles away. We had no idea where they were or where we were ourselves. 204 00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:11.000 Men glanced furtively at the North Star for guidance, and were pained to 205 00:19:11.039 --> 00:19:18.359 find that, contrary to their military teaching, it told them nothing. Even 206 00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:22.240 the digging was carried on a little stealthily till it was discovered that the Turks 207 00:19:22.279 --> 00:19:27.599 were not behind those trees. The digging was a comfort to the men, 208 00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:33.079 who, being pitmen, were now in their element, and the officers found 209 00:19:33.119 --> 00:19:41.079 solace in whispering to each other that magical communication about the prospective searching. It 210 00:19:41.119 --> 00:19:45.400 was the first technical word they had used in the field, and they were 211 00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:49.920 secretly proud to know what it meant. In a little the dawn began, 212 00:19:51.240 --> 00:19:56.119 and the gray trees took shape, and the sun came up out of Asia, 213 00:19:56.279 --> 00:20:00.119 and we saw at last the little sugar loaf peak of as Shibaba, 214 00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:07.279 absurdly pink and diminutive in the distance. A man's first frontal impression of that 215 00:20:07.359 --> 00:20:12.759 great rampart, with the outlying slopes masking the summit, was that it was 216 00:20:12.880 --> 00:20:18.359 disappointingly small. But when he had lived under and upon it for a while, 217 00:20:18.759 --> 00:20:23.519 day by day it seemed to grow in menace and in bulk, and 218 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:30.240 ultimately became a hideous, overpowering monster, pervading all his life, so that 219 00:20:30.359 --> 00:20:36.440 it worked upon men's nerves, and almost everywhere in the peninsula. They were 220 00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:41.160 painfully conscious that every movement they made could be watched from somewhere on that massive 221 00:20:41.240 --> 00:20:48.279 hill. But now the kitchens had come, and there was breakfast and vicious 222 00:20:48.359 --> 00:20:53.920 milkless tea. We discovered that all around our seeming solitude the earth had been 223 00:20:53.960 --> 00:21:00.519 peopled with sleepers, who now emerged from their holes. There was a stir 224 00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:04.240 of washing and cooking and singing, and the smoke went up from the wood 225 00:21:04.279 --> 00:21:11.559 fires in the clear cool air. D Company officers made their camp under an 226 00:21:11.559 --> 00:21:17.440 olive tree with a view over the blue water to Samothrace and Imbros, and 227 00:21:17.599 --> 00:21:22.160 now in the early cool, before the sun had gathered his noonday malignity, 228 00:21:22.480 --> 00:21:30.279 it was very pleasant. At seven o'clock the searching began a mile away on 229 00:21:30.359 --> 00:21:34.720 the northern cliffs. The first shell burst, stampeding a number of horses, 230 00:21:37.079 --> 00:21:41.880 The long drawn warning scream, and the final crash gave all the expectant battalion 231 00:21:42.200 --> 00:21:48.480 a faintly pleasurable thrill, And as each shell came a little nearer, the 232 00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:55.640 sensation remained. No one was afraid. Without the knowledge of experience, no 233 00:21:55.680 --> 00:22:00.720 one could be seriously afraid on this cool sunny morning in the grove of olive 234 00:22:00.759 --> 00:22:07.359 trees. Those chill hours in the sweeper had been much more alarming. The 235 00:22:07.519 --> 00:22:12.839 common sensation was, at last, I am really under fire today. I 236 00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:18.440 shall write home and tell them about it. And then, when it seemed 237 00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:22.200 that the line on which the shells were falling must, if continued, passed 238 00:22:22.279 --> 00:22:29.960 through the middle of our camp, the firing mysteriously ceased. Harry, I 239 00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:37.160 know, was disappointed. Personally I was pleased. I learned more about Harry 240 00:22:37.240 --> 00:22:41.359 that afternoon. He had been much exhausted by the long night, but was 241 00:22:41.559 --> 00:22:48.720 now refreshed and filled with an almost childish enthusiasm by the pictorial attractions of the 242 00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:55.000 place. For this enthusiastic soul, one thing only was lacking in the sight 243 00:22:55.039 --> 00:22:59.519 of the camp. The rise of the hill which here runs down the center 244 00:22:59.559 --> 00:23:04.440 of the insula, hid from us the dardnells. These, he said, 245 00:23:04.839 --> 00:23:11.799 must immediately be viewed. It was a bright afternoon of blue skies and gentle 246 00:23:11.839 --> 00:23:15.400 air. Not yet had the dry northeast wind come to plague us with dust 247 00:23:15.400 --> 00:23:22.279 clouds, and all the vivid colors of the scene were unspoiled. We walked 248 00:23:22.319 --> 00:23:26.720 over the hill, through the parched scrub, where lizards darted out from under 249 00:23:26.759 --> 00:23:30.720 our feet, and tortoises lay comatose in the scanty shade, and came to 250 00:23:30.759 --> 00:23:36.519 a kind of inland cliff where the Turks had had many riflemen at the landing. 251 00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:41.640 For all the ground was littered with empty cartridges, and there was unfolded 252 00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:48.960 surely the most gorgeous panorama this war has provided for prosaic Englishmen to see. 253 00:23:49.000 --> 00:23:56.039 Below was a cool, inviting grove of imperial cypresses. All along the narrow 254 00:23:56.079 --> 00:24:00.880 strip between us and the shore lay the rest lines of the French, where 255 00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:08.319 moved lazy figures in blue and red and blasts Senegalese in many colors. To 256 00:24:08.440 --> 00:24:14.880 the left was the wide sweep of Morto Bay, and beyond the first section 257 00:24:14.920 --> 00:24:22.039 of Ashibaba, rising to Detot's battery in terraces of olives and divines. But 258 00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:26.440 what caught the immediate eye, what we had come to see and had sailed 259 00:24:26.519 --> 00:24:30.920 hither to fight for, was that strip of unbelievably blue water before us, 260 00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:38.200 deep generous blue, like a Chinese bowl. On the farther shore, towards 261 00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:44.319 the entrance to the Straits, we could see a wide green plain, and 262 00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:49.160 beyond and to the left, peak after peak of the mountains of Asia, 263 00:24:49.359 --> 00:24:55.160 and far away in the middle distance there was a glint of snow from some 264 00:24:55.359 --> 00:25:02.480 regal summit of the Anatolian mountains. That wide green plain was the plane of 265 00:25:02.559 --> 00:25:10.480 Troy. The scarcity of classical scholars in expeditionary forces and the wearisome observations of 266 00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:15.359 pressmen on the subject of Troy have combined to belittle the significance of the classical 267 00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:22.480 surroundings of the Gallipoli campaign. I myself am a stolid, ill read person, 268 00:25:23.240 --> 00:25:29.480 but I confess that the spectacle of those historic flats was not one in 269 00:25:29.599 --> 00:25:37.839 diplomatic phrase, which I could view with indifference. On Harry ridiculously excited already 270 00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:44.400 the effect was almost alarming. He became quite lyrical over two little sweepers, 271 00:25:44.440 --> 00:25:49.839 apparently anchored near the mouth of the Straits, that he said must have been 272 00:25:49.880 --> 00:25:56.680 where the Greek fleet lay. God, It's wonderful. Up on the slope 273 00:25:56.720 --> 00:26:03.519 towards Dett's battery, the gun were busy, and now and then asiatic Anne 274 00:26:03.559 --> 00:26:08.160 sent over a large shell from the region of achilles Tomb, which burst ponderously 275 00:26:08.200 --> 00:26:14.359 in the sea off Cape Helly's. And there we sat on the rough edge 276 00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:19.160 of the cliff and talked of Achilles and Hector and Diomede and Patroclis, and 277 00:26:19.279 --> 00:26:26.359 the far sounding bolts of Jove. I do not defend or exalt this action, 278 00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:30.359 but this is a truthful record of a man's personality. And I simply 279 00:26:30.440 --> 00:26:36.799 state what occurred. And I confess that with the best wish in the world, 280 00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:41.640 I was myself becoming a little bored with Troy, when in the middle 281 00:26:41.640 --> 00:26:47.720 of a sentence he suddenly became silent and gazed across the straits with a fixed, 282 00:26:47.880 --> 00:26:52.200 pinched look in his face, like a man who was reminded of some 283 00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:57.920 far off calamity he had forgotten. For perhaps a minute he maintained this rigid 284 00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:06.079 aspect, and then as suddenly relaxed, murmuring in a tone of relentless determination, 285 00:27:06.920 --> 00:27:11.440 I will it was not in me not to inquire into the nature of 286 00:27:11.440 --> 00:27:18.359 this passionate intention, And somehow I induced him to explain. It seemed that, 287 00:27:18.440 --> 00:27:25.160 in spite of his genuine academic successes and a moderate popularity at school and 288 00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:30.759 at Oxford, he had suffered from early boyhood from a curious distrust of his 289 00:27:30.839 --> 00:27:36.359 own capacity in the face of anything he had to do. In a measure. 290 00:27:36.559 --> 00:27:41.599 No doubt this had even contributed to his success, For his nervousness took 291 00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:47.519 the form of an intimate, silent brooding over any ordeal that lay before him, 292 00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:52.160 whether it was a visit to his uncle or schools or a dance. 293 00:27:52.359 --> 00:27:57.880 He would lie awake for hours, imagining all conceivable forms of error and failure 294 00:27:59.160 --> 00:28:04.039 and humiliation that might befall him in his endeavor. And though he was to 295 00:28:04.119 --> 00:28:11.640 this extent forewarned and forearmed, it must have been a painful process. And 296 00:28:11.759 --> 00:28:15.720 it explained to me the puzzling intervals of seeming melancholy which I had seen, 297 00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:25.119 varying his usually cheerful demeanor. You remember last night he said I had been 298 00:28:25.160 --> 00:28:30.599 detailed to look after the baggage when we disembarked and take charge of the unloading 299 00:28:30.680 --> 00:28:33.839 party. As far as I know, I did the job all right, 300 00:28:34.359 --> 00:28:41.240 except for losing old Tompkins valise. But you can't think how much worry and 301 00:28:41.400 --> 00:28:45.519 anxiety it gave me beforehand. All the time on the sweeper, I was 302 00:28:45.559 --> 00:28:52.359 imagining the hundreds of possible disasters, the working party not turning up and me 303 00:28:52.680 --> 00:28:59.039 left alone on the boat with the baggage, the Colonel's things being dropped overboard 304 00:28:59.759 --> 00:29:04.240 a row, with the MLO getting the baggage ashore, and then losing the 305 00:29:04.279 --> 00:29:11.319 battalion or the working party or the baggage. It all worked out quite simply, 306 00:29:11.599 --> 00:29:15.920 but I tell you, Benson, it gave me hell. And it's 307 00:29:15.960 --> 00:29:22.279 always the same. That's really why I didn't take a commission, because I 308 00:29:22.279 --> 00:29:27.880 couldn't imagine myself drilling men once without becoming a permanent laughing stock. I know 309 00:29:29.079 --> 00:29:33.559 now that I was a fool about that. I usually do find that out, 310 00:29:33.519 --> 00:29:40.079 but I can't escape the feeling next time. And now it's not only 311 00:29:40.119 --> 00:29:44.440 little things like that, But that's what I feel about the whole war. 312 00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:48.880 I've a terror of being a failure in it, a failure out here, 313 00:29:49.480 --> 00:29:56.200 you know, a sort of regimental dud. I've heard of lots of them, 314 00:29:56.240 --> 00:30:00.400 the kind of man that nobody gives an important job because he sure to 315 00:30:00.519 --> 00:30:03.920 muck it up. Though I do believe Eccleston's more likely to be that than 316 00:30:04.039 --> 00:30:11.200 me. But that's what I was thinking just now, somehow, looking at 317 00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:17.000 this view Troy and all that, and thinking how those Greeks sweated blood for 318 00:30:17.079 --> 00:30:22.119 ten years on afternoons like this, doing their duty for the damned old kings, 319 00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:27.079 and how we've come out here to fight in the same place thousands of 320 00:30:27.160 --> 00:30:33.039 years afterwards, and we still know about them and remember their names. Well, 321 00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:38.720 it gave me a kind of inspiration. I don't know why. I've 322 00:30:38.759 --> 00:30:44.200 got a bit of confidence. God knows how long it will last, but 323 00:30:44.279 --> 00:30:48.960 I swear I won't be a failure. I won't be the battalion dud, 324 00:30:48.559 --> 00:30:52.400 and I'll have a damned good try to get a medal of some sort and 325 00:30:52.599 --> 00:31:00.759 be like like Achilles or somebody. Sheer breathlessness put us an end to this 326 00:31:00.839 --> 00:31:06.079 outburst, and since it was followed by a certain shyness at his own revelations, 327 00:31:06.480 --> 00:31:11.079 I did not probe deeper. But I thought to myself that this young 328 00:31:11.160 --> 00:31:15.720 man's spirit of romance would die hard. I did not know whether it would 329 00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:22.440 ever die, For certainly I had never seen that spirit working so powerfully in 330 00:31:22.559 --> 00:31:27.720 any man as a positive incentive to achievement. And I tell you all this 331 00:31:29.160 --> 00:31:32.960 because I want you to understand how it was with him in the beginning. 332 00:31:34.160 --> 00:31:38.799 But now the bay was in shadow below us on the hill, the solemn 333 00:31:38.839 --> 00:31:45.559 stillness that comes over all trenches in the hour before dusk had already descended, 334 00:31:45.160 --> 00:31:49.880 and away towards the cape the Indians were coming out to kneel in prayer. 335 00:31:51.000 --> 00:31:57.279 Beside the Alien sea. The romance of war was in full song, and 336 00:31:57.440 --> 00:32:07.640 scrambling down the cliff we bathed almost reverently in the Hellespont end of chapter one 337 00:32:07.799 --> 00:32:24.319 recording by Rogermaline. Chapter two of the Secret Battle by A. P. 338 00:32:24.519 --> 00:32:31.920 Herbert. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Rogermaline. 339 00:32:35.160 --> 00:32:38.039 Those first three days were, for many of us who did not know the 340 00:32:38.119 --> 00:32:44.519 mild autumn months, the most pleasant we spent on the peninsula. The last 341 00:32:44.559 --> 00:32:47.920 weeks of May had something of the quality of an old English summer, and 342 00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:53.160 the seven plagues of the Peninsula had not yet attained the intolerable violence of June 343 00:32:53.160 --> 00:32:59.880 and July. True, the inhabited portion of the narrow land we won had 344 00:33:00.039 --> 00:33:05.480 already become in great part a wilderness. The myrtle and rock rose and tangled 345 00:33:05.519 --> 00:33:09.279 cistus, and all that wealth of spring flowers in which the landing parties had 346 00:33:09.319 --> 00:33:15.680 fallen and died in April had long been trodden to death. And there were 347 00:33:15.759 --> 00:33:22.039 wide stretches of yellow desert where not even the parched scrub survived. But in 348 00:33:22.079 --> 00:33:24.839 the two and a half miles of bare country which lay between the capes and 349 00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:31.680 the foothills of Achibaba was one considerable oasis of olives and stunted oaks. And 350 00:33:31.880 --> 00:33:37.720 therein on the slopes of the bridge was our camp, fortunately set. The 351 00:33:37.839 --> 00:33:44.880 word camp contains an unmerited compliment to the place. The manner of its birth 352 00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:51.000 was characteristic of military arrangements in those days. When we were told on that 353 00:33:51.079 --> 00:33:55.880 first mysterious midnight to dig ourselves a shelter against the morning searching, we were 354 00:33:55.960 --> 00:34:01.160 far from imagining that what we dug would be our peninsular home and haven of 355 00:34:01.240 --> 00:34:07.079 rest from the firing line for many months to come. And so we made 356 00:34:07.079 --> 00:34:12.800 what we conceived to be the quickest and simplest form of shelter against a quite 357 00:34:12.840 --> 00:34:20.519 temporary emergency. Long, straight, untraversed ditches running parallel to and with but 358 00:34:20.639 --> 00:34:25.800 a few yards between each other. No worse form of permanent dwelling place could 359 00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:30.440 conceivably have been constructed, for the men were cramped in these places, with 360 00:34:30.519 --> 00:34:37.039 a minimum of comfort and a maximum of danger. No man could climb out 361 00:34:37.039 --> 00:34:42.760 of his narrow drain without casting a shower of dust from the crumbling parapet onto 362 00:34:42.920 --> 00:34:47.039 his sleeping neighbor in the next ditch, and three large German shells could have 363 00:34:47.079 --> 00:34:52.519 destroyed half the regiment. Yet there were many such camps, most of them 364 00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:59.960 lacking the graceful concealment of our trees, such targets, even the Turkish artillery 365 00:35:00.039 --> 00:35:05.239 he must sometimes hit. There were no dugouts in the accepted sense of the 366 00:35:05.320 --> 00:35:12.199 Western Front, no deep, elaborate staircase chambers hollowed out by miners with miners 367 00:35:12.280 --> 00:35:19.960 material. Our dugouts were dugouts in truth, shallow excavations scooped in the surface 368 00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.599 of the earth. The only roof for a man against sun and shells was 369 00:35:24.639 --> 00:35:31.360 a waterproof sheet stretched precariously over his hole. It is sufficient testimony to the 370 00:35:31.480 --> 00:35:37.360 indifference of the Turkish artillery that, with such naked concentrations of men scattered about 371 00:35:37.360 --> 00:35:45.079 the peninsula, casualties in the rest camps were so few. Each officer had 372 00:35:45.119 --> 00:35:51.239 his own private hole set democratically among the men's, and an officer's mess was 373 00:35:51.280 --> 00:35:55.920 simply made by digging a larger hole and roofing it with two waterproof sheets instead 374 00:35:55.920 --> 00:36:01.480 of one. There was no luxury among the infantry there, and the gulf 375 00:36:01.519 --> 00:36:07.599 which yawns between the lives of officer and man. In France, as regards 376 00:36:07.679 --> 00:36:14.440 material comfort was barely discernible. In Gallipoli, food was dull and monotonous. 377 00:36:15.159 --> 00:36:20.000 For weeks we had only bully beef and biscuits, and a little coarse bacon 378 00:36:20.039 --> 00:36:23.679 and tea. But it was the same for all, one honorable equality of 379 00:36:23.719 --> 00:36:31.039 discomfort. At first there were no canteen facilities, and when some newcomer came 380 00:36:31.199 --> 00:36:37.039 from one of the islands with a bottle of champagne and another of chartrusse, 381 00:36:37.599 --> 00:36:43.639 we drank it with bully and cast iron biscuit. Drinking water was as precious 382 00:36:43.679 --> 00:36:49.719 as the elixir of life, and almost as unobtainable. But officer and man 383 00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:54.599 had the same ration to eke out through the thirsty day. Wells were sunk 384 00:36:54.800 --> 00:37:00.559 and sometimes immediately condemned. And when we knew the water was clear and sweet 385 00:37:00.599 --> 00:37:05.960 to taste, it was hard to have it corrupted with the metallic flavor of 386 00:37:06.039 --> 00:37:10.440 chemicals by the medical staff. Then, indeed did a man learn to love 387 00:37:10.559 --> 00:37:15.440 water? Then did he learn discipline when he filled his water bottle in the 388 00:37:15.519 --> 00:37:22.440 morning with the aciduous ration of the day, and fought with the intolerable craving 389 00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:25.920 to put it to his lips, and there and then gurgled down his fill. 390 00:37:28.320 --> 00:37:31.400 In the spring nights, it was very cold, and men shivered in 391 00:37:31.440 --> 00:37:38.199 their single blanket under the unimaginable stars. But very early the sun came up, 392 00:37:38.559 --> 00:37:44.159 and by five o'clock all the camp were singing, and there were three 393 00:37:44.159 --> 00:37:47.239 hours of fresh coolness, when it was very good to wash in a canvas 394 00:37:47.239 --> 00:37:52.880 bucket and smoke in the sun before the torrid time came on. And again 395 00:37:53.039 --> 00:37:58.239 at seven, when the sun sat perched on the great rock of Samothrace, 396 00:37:58.679 --> 00:38:04.159 and Imbrose was in a fleecy marvel of pink and saffron clouds. There were 397 00:38:04.159 --> 00:38:09.559 two hours of pure physical content, but these I think were more nearly perfect 398 00:38:09.639 --> 00:38:15.159 than the morning, because they succeeded the irritable fevers of the day. Then 399 00:38:15.280 --> 00:38:21.400 the crickets and the branches sang less tediously, and the flies melted away, 400 00:38:21.800 --> 00:38:25.239 and all over the peninsula the wood fires began to twinkle in the dusk, 401 00:38:25.639 --> 00:38:30.639 as the men cooked over a few sticks, the little delicacies which were preserved 402 00:38:30.679 --> 00:38:36.559 for this hour of respite. When we had done, we sat under our 403 00:38:36.599 --> 00:38:42.199 olive tree in the clear twilight and watched the last aeroplane sail home to Rabbit 404 00:38:42.280 --> 00:38:46.280 Islands, and talked and argued till the glow worms glimmering in the scrub. 405 00:38:46.719 --> 00:38:52.159 And up the hill, the long roll of the Turk's rapid fire told us 406 00:38:52.199 --> 00:38:55.800 that darkness was at hand, and the chill dew sent us into our crannies 407 00:38:55.800 --> 00:39:00.920 to sleep, So we were not sorry for three days of quiet in the 408 00:39:01.039 --> 00:39:07.360 camp. Before we went up the hill, Harry alone was all eagerness to 409 00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:13.440 reach the firing line with the least possible delay. But then Harry was like 410 00:39:13.639 --> 00:39:17.400 none of us. Indeed, none of us were like each other. It 411 00:39:17.440 --> 00:39:22.400 would have been strange if we had been. War chroniclers have noted, with 412 00:39:22.480 --> 00:39:28.719 an accent of astonishment, the strange diversity of persons to be found in units 413 00:39:28.760 --> 00:39:32.199 of the New Army, and the essential sameness of their attitude to the war, 414 00:39:34.119 --> 00:39:37.000 as though a man were to go into the haymarket and be surprised if 415 00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:43.639 the first twelve pedestrians there were not of the same profession, were then to 416 00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:46.000 summon them to the assistance of a woman in the hands of a rough, 417 00:39:46.519 --> 00:39:52.880 and be still surprised at the similarity of their methods. We were, in 418 00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:59.000 truth a motley crowd gathered from everywhere, but when we sat under that olive 419 00:39:59.039 --> 00:40:05.280 tree, we were very much alike, with the single exception of Harry Egerton. 420 00:40:05.440 --> 00:40:09.280 Our company commander, a man of about thirty with a round face and 421 00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:16.880 a large head, was a stockbroker by profession and rather improbably an old territorial 422 00:40:16.960 --> 00:40:22.440 by pastime. He was an excellent company commander, but would have made a 423 00:40:22.519 --> 00:40:30.519 still more admirable second in command for his training in figures and his meticulous habits, 424 00:40:30.519 --> 00:40:35.320 and such things as the keeping of accounts were just what is required of 425 00:40:35.360 --> 00:40:42.480 a second in command, and were lamentably deficient in myself. The intricacies of 426 00:40:42.559 --> 00:40:47.880 acquaintance rolls and impressed accounts and page three of the soldier's pay book were meat 427 00:40:47.920 --> 00:40:53.320 and drink to him, and in general I must confess that I shamefully surrendered 428 00:40:53.320 --> 00:41:00.639 such delicacies to him. Harry Penrose had the fourteenth platoon. Of the other 429 00:41:00.719 --> 00:41:07.559 three subalterns, perhaps the most interesting was Hewett. He, like Harry, 430 00:41:07.920 --> 00:41:12.599 had been at Oxford before the war, though they had never come together there. 431 00:41:13.800 --> 00:41:19.440 He was a fair, dreamy person of remarkably good looks. Alone, 432 00:41:19.480 --> 00:41:22.519 of all the young apollos I have known, did he at all deserve that 433 00:41:22.599 --> 00:41:29.679 title. Most of these have been men of surpassing stupidity and material tastes. 434 00:41:30.239 --> 00:41:37.239 But Hewett added to his physical qualifications something of the mental refinement which presumably one 435 00:41:37.239 --> 00:41:44.639 should expect of even a modern apollo. Intensely fastidious, he frankly detested the 436 00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:50.840 war and all the dirt and disgust he must personally encounter. Like Harry, 437 00:41:51.000 --> 00:41:55.440 he was an idealist, but more so for he could not idealize the war. 438 00:41:57.639 --> 00:42:01.159 But the shrinking of his spirit had no effect on his conduct. He 439 00:42:01.239 --> 00:42:07.519 was no less courageous than Harry or anyone else, and no less keen to 440 00:42:07.559 --> 00:42:13.280 see the thing through. Only at that time he was a little less blind. 441 00:42:14.440 --> 00:42:19.239 A year senior to Harry, he had taken grate in nineteen fourteen, 442 00:42:19.760 --> 00:42:23.519 and though his degree had been disappointingly low, he had not yet lost the 443 00:42:23.559 --> 00:42:30.199 passionate attachment of the greats man to philosophy and thoughts of the ultimate truths. 444 00:42:30.639 --> 00:42:35.119 Sometimes he would try to induce one of us to talk with him of his 445 00:42:35.280 --> 00:42:40.800 religious and philosophical doubts, but in that feverish place it was too difficult for 446 00:42:42.039 --> 00:42:49.159 us, and usually he brooded over his problems alone. Eustace of the sixteenth 447 00:42:49.159 --> 00:42:54.000 Platoon was a journalist by repute, though it was never discovered to what journal, 448 00:42:54.079 --> 00:43:00.519 if any, he was specially attached. His character was more active than 449 00:43:00.639 --> 00:43:06.400 his appearance, which was long, awkward and angular, and if he had 450 00:43:06.400 --> 00:43:12.880 ever been to school he would have been quite undeservedly unpopular for not playing games, 451 00:43:13.320 --> 00:43:19.760 undeservedly because one could not conceive of him as playing any game physically. 452 00:43:19.880 --> 00:43:24.840 Indeed, he was one of nature's gacks. Intellectually he was nimble, not 453 00:43:24.920 --> 00:43:31.360 to say athletic with an acute and deeply logical mind. As a companion, 454 00:43:31.679 --> 00:43:37.599 more especially a companion in war, he was made tedious by a habit of 455 00:43:37.639 --> 00:43:43.440 cynicism and a passion for argument. The cynicism, I think, had developed 456 00:43:43.440 --> 00:43:49.840 originally from some early grievance against society, had been adopted as an effective pose, 457 00:43:50.079 --> 00:43:53.679 and had now become a part of his nature. Whatever its origin, 458 00:43:53.880 --> 00:43:59.599 it was wearing to us, for in the actual scenes of war, one 459 00:43:59.679 --> 00:44:05.039 likes to cling to one's illusions while any shred of them remains, and would 460 00:44:05.119 --> 00:44:09.159 rather they faded honorably under the general influence of time, than be torn to 461 00:44:09.280 --> 00:44:15.880 fragments in a moment by reasoned mockery. But Eustace was never tired of exhibiting 462 00:44:15.880 --> 00:44:22.400 the frailty and subterfuge of all men, particularly in their relations to the war. 463 00:44:22.920 --> 00:44:28.880 The nation arrived for him as regularly as the German submarines would allow, 464 00:44:29.920 --> 00:44:35.639 and all his views were, in that sense distinctly national. If any of 465 00:44:35.719 --> 00:44:40.079 us were rash enough to read that paper ourselves, we were inevitably provoked to 466 00:44:40.159 --> 00:44:45.400 some comment which led to a hut wrangle on the public schools, or kitchener 467 00:44:45.840 --> 00:44:50.840 or the rights of the war, and the pleasant calm of the dusk was 468 00:44:50.960 --> 00:44:57.400 marred. For Eustace could always meet us with a powerfully logical case, and 469 00:44:57.559 --> 00:45:01.960 while in spirit we revolted against him his heresies, we were distressed by the 470 00:45:02.000 --> 00:45:08.440 appeal they made to our reluctant reasons. Harry, the most ingenuous of us 471 00:45:08.480 --> 00:45:14.320 all, and the most devoted to his illusions, was particularly worried by this 472 00:45:14.440 --> 00:45:20.039 conflict. It seemed very wrong to him that a man so loyal and gallant 473 00:45:20.239 --> 00:45:25.159 in his personal relations with others should trample so ruthlessly on their dearest opinions. 474 00:45:27.800 --> 00:45:32.639 Burnett was of a very different type. Tall and muscular, with reddish hair 475 00:45:32.760 --> 00:45:37.519 and vivid blue eyes, he looked as he wanted to look, a man 476 00:45:37.599 --> 00:45:44.199 of action by nature and practice. He had knocked about for some years in 477 00:45:44.320 --> 00:45:51.039 Africa and Australia, a process which had failed equally to establish his fortunes or 478 00:45:51.320 --> 00:45:55.880 soften his rough edges, and from the first he affected the patronizing attitude of 479 00:45:55.920 --> 00:46:02.239 the experienced campaigner. The little discomforts of camp fire were nothing to him, 480 00:46:04.119 --> 00:46:07.840 for were they not part of his normal life. And when I emerged from 481 00:46:07.840 --> 00:46:14.199 my dugout, pursued by a centipede of incredible ferocity. He held forth for 482 00:46:14.239 --> 00:46:20.199 a long time on the best method of dispatching rattlesnakes in the umgoga or some 483 00:46:20.360 --> 00:46:27.480 set for locality by degrees. However, as life became more unbearable, the 484 00:46:27.480 --> 00:46:31.400 conviction dawned upon us that he was no less sensible to heat and hunger and 485 00:46:31.559 --> 00:46:38.039 thirst than mere temporary campaigners, and rather more ready to utter his complaints. 486 00:46:39.639 --> 00:46:45.280 Finally, the weight of evidence became overwhelming, and it was whispered at the 487 00:46:45.400 --> 00:46:51.480 end of our first week at Gallipoli that Burnett was bogus. The quality of 488 00:46:51.480 --> 00:46:58.079 being bogus was, in those days the last word in military condemnation, and 489 00:46:58.280 --> 00:47:05.519 in Burnett's case, event showed the verdict to be lamentably correct. So we 490 00:47:05.519 --> 00:47:10.360 were a strangely assorted crowd only alike as I have said in that we were 491 00:47:10.440 --> 00:47:15.800 keen on the winning of this war, and resolved to do our personal best 492 00:47:15.880 --> 00:47:21.480 towards that end. Of the five of us, Hewett and Eustace had the 493 00:47:21.559 --> 00:47:27.679 most influence on Harry Me. He regarded as a solid kind of wall that 494 00:47:27.760 --> 00:47:32.360 would never let him down or be guilty of any startling deviations from the normal. 495 00:47:34.760 --> 00:47:40.960 By Hewett, he was personally and spiritually attracted by Eustace, alternately fascinated 496 00:47:42.000 --> 00:47:46.559 and disturbed, and it was a very bad day for Harry. When Hewett's 497 00:47:46.639 --> 00:47:53.599 death removed that gentle, comfortable influence. We were ordered to relieve the blanks 498 00:47:53.639 --> 00:47:59.440 at midnight on the fourth day, and once again we braced ourselves for the 499 00:47:59.519 --> 00:48:05.679 last desperate battle of our lives. All soldiers go through this process during their 500 00:48:05.719 --> 00:48:12.719 first weeks of active service. Every time they move anywhere, immense expectations, 501 00:48:13.119 --> 00:48:20.719 vows, fears, prayers fill their minds, and nothing particular happens. Only 502 00:48:20.760 --> 00:48:24.679 the really experienced soldier knows that it is the exception and not the rule, 503 00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:30.559 for anything particular to happen. And the heroes of Romance and history who do 504 00:48:30.639 --> 00:48:36.960 not move a muscle when told that they are to attack at dawn are generally 505 00:48:37.079 --> 00:48:43.239 quite undeserving of praise, since long experience has taught them that the attack is 506 00:48:43.320 --> 00:48:49.400 many times more likely to be canceled than to occur. Until it actually does 507 00:48:49.480 --> 00:48:53.679 happen, they will not believe in it. They will make all proper preparations, 508 00:48:53.719 --> 00:48:59.920 but quite rightly do not move a muscle. We, however, were 509 00:49:00.119 --> 00:49:05.800 now to have our first illustration of this great military truth, For indeed we 510 00:49:05.800 --> 00:49:09.920 were to have no battle. Yet that night's march to the trenches was an 511 00:49:09.920 --> 00:49:15.880 experience that made full compensation. It was already dusk when we moved out of 512 00:49:15.880 --> 00:49:22.039 the rest camp, and the moon was not up. As usual in new 513 00:49:22.159 --> 00:49:27.760 units, the leading platoons went off at a reckless canter, and stumbling after 514 00:49:27.800 --> 00:49:31.880 them in the gathering shadows, over rocky, precipitous slopes, and in and 515 00:49:31.960 --> 00:49:37.199 out of the clumps of bush, falling into dark holes onto indignant sleepers, 516 00:49:37.760 --> 00:49:44.880 or maddeningly entangled in hidden strands of wire. The rear companies were speedily out 517 00:49:44.880 --> 00:49:51.760 of touch. To a heavily laden infantryman, there are few things more exasperating 518 00:49:51.960 --> 00:49:57.360 than a night march into the line, conducted too fast. If the country 519 00:49:57.400 --> 00:50:01.760 be broken and strewn with obstacles, at which each man must wait while another 520 00:50:01.840 --> 00:50:07.760 climbs or drops, or wrestles or wades in front of him, and must 521 00:50:07.880 --> 00:50:13.639 laboriously scamper after him in the shadows, lest he and thereby all those behind 522 00:50:13.719 --> 00:50:17.519 him, be lost. If the country be unknown to him, so that, 523 00:50:17.840 --> 00:50:23.559 apart from purely military considerations, the fear of being lost is no small 524 00:50:23.719 --> 00:50:29.559 thing for a man knows that he may wander all night alone in the dark, 525 00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:35.440 surrounded by unknown dangers, cut off from sleep and rations, and the 526 00:50:35.519 --> 00:50:40.760 friendly voices of companions, a jest among them when he discovers them, then 527 00:50:42.039 --> 00:50:47.039 such a march becomes a nightmare. On this night, it dawned gradually on 528 00:50:47.199 --> 00:50:52.480 those in front that they were unaccompanied save by the first platoon, And a 529 00:50:52.599 --> 00:51:00.000 long halt and much shouting and searching gathered most of the regiment together, hot, 530 00:51:00.239 --> 00:51:07.719 cursing and already exhausted. And now we passed the five white water towers 531 00:51:07.800 --> 00:51:12.719 standing mysteriously in a swamp, and came out of the open country into the 532 00:51:12.760 --> 00:51:19.599 beginning of a gully. These gullies were deep, steep sided ravines, driven 533 00:51:19.679 --> 00:51:23.599 through all the lower slopes of Achi Baba, and carrying in the spring a 534 00:51:23.719 --> 00:51:30.559 thin stream of water peopled by many frogs, down to the straits or the 535 00:51:30.639 --> 00:51:35.920 sea. It was easier going here, for there was a rough track beside 536 00:51:35.920 --> 00:51:40.039 the stream to follow. Yet, though those in front were marching as they 537 00:51:40.079 --> 00:51:46.679 thought with inconceivable deliberation, the rear men of each platoon were doubling round the 538 00:51:46.760 --> 00:51:53.039 corners among the trees and cursing as they ran. There was then a wild 539 00:51:53.159 --> 00:51:58.960 hail of bullets in all those gullies, since for many hours of each night 540 00:51:59.320 --> 00:52:04.559 the Turk kept up a sustained and terrible rapid fire from his trenches far up 541 00:52:04.639 --> 00:52:09.559 the hill, And whether by design or bad shooting, the majority of these 542 00:52:09.599 --> 00:52:16.159 bullets passed high over our trenches and fell hissing in the gully bed. So 543 00:52:16.239 --> 00:52:22.800 now all the air seemed full of humming whistling things, and all around in 544 00:52:22.800 --> 00:52:27.800 the gully banks and the bushes by the stream there were vicious spurts as they 545 00:52:27.840 --> 00:52:32.840 fell. It was always a marvel how few casualties were caused by this stray 546 00:52:32.960 --> 00:52:38.679 fire. And to night we were chiefly impressed with this wonder. In the 547 00:52:38.800 --> 00:52:44.639 stream, the frogs croaked incessantly, with a note of weary indifference to the 548 00:52:44.719 --> 00:52:50.159 medley of competing noises. At one point there was a kind of pot hole 549 00:52:50.199 --> 00:52:53.920 in the stream, where the water squeezing through made a kind of high toned 550 00:52:54.000 --> 00:53:01.119 whale, delivered with stabbing emphasis at regular intervals. So weird was this sound, 551 00:53:01.599 --> 00:53:07.679 which could be heard many hundred yards away, and gradually asserted itself above 552 00:53:07.760 --> 00:53:13.679 all other contributions to that terrible din that many of The men, already mystified 553 00:53:13.800 --> 00:53:19.360 and excited, said to themselves that this was the noise of the hideous explosive 554 00:53:19.400 --> 00:53:23.760 bullets of which they had heard. Soon we were compelled to climb out of 555 00:53:23.760 --> 00:53:30.480 the gully path to make way for some descending troops, and stumbled forward with 556 00:53:30.559 --> 00:53:36.440 a curious feeling of nakedness. High up in open ground. Here the bullets 557 00:53:36.440 --> 00:53:40.199 were many times multiplied, and many of us said that we could feel them 558 00:53:40.239 --> 00:53:46.079 passing between us. Indeed, one or two men were hit, but though 559 00:53:46.079 --> 00:53:51.760 we did not know it, most of these near sounding bullets flew high above 560 00:53:51.880 --> 00:53:57.400 us. After a little we were halted and lay down, wondering in the 561 00:53:57.480 --> 00:54:02.719 sibilant dark. Then we moved down and halted again, and realized suddenly that 562 00:54:02.840 --> 00:54:07.760 we were very tired. At the head of the column, the guide had 563 00:54:07.800 --> 00:54:14.599 lost his way and could not find the entrance to the communication trench, and 564 00:54:14.719 --> 00:54:19.079 here, in the most exposed area of all that peninsula, we must wait 565 00:54:19.199 --> 00:54:25.199 until he did. The march was an avoidable piece of mismanagement. The whole 566 00:54:25.239 --> 00:54:32.159 regiment was being unnecessarily endangered, but none of this we knew, so very 567 00:54:32.199 --> 00:54:37.840 few men were afraid, for we were still in the bliss of ignorance. 568 00:54:37.920 --> 00:54:43.320 It seemed to us that these strange proceedings must be a part of the everyday 569 00:54:43.360 --> 00:54:47.760 life of the soldier. If they were not, we raw creatures should not 570 00:54:47.840 --> 00:54:52.920 have been asked to endure them. We had no standard of safety or danger 571 00:54:53.000 --> 00:54:59.480 by which to estimate our position, and so the miraculous immunity we were enjoying 572 00:55:00.119 --> 00:55:06.000 was taken as a matter of course, and we were blissfully unafraid. At 573 00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:10.119 the same time, we were extremely bored and tired, and the sweat cooled 574 00:55:10.119 --> 00:55:15.519 on us in the chill night air. And when at last we came into 575 00:55:15.599 --> 00:55:20.639 the deep Communication trench, we felt that the end of this weariness must surely 576 00:55:20.679 --> 00:55:27.320 be near. But the worst exasperations of relieving an unknown line were still before 577 00:55:27.400 --> 00:55:31.360 us. It was a two mile trudge in the narrow ditches to the front 578 00:55:31.400 --> 00:55:38.000 line. No war correspondent has ever described such a march. It has not 579 00:55:38.119 --> 00:55:43.679 included in the official horrors of war. But this is the kind of thing 580 00:55:43.840 --> 00:55:49.480 which, more than battle and blood, harasses the spirit of the infantryman and 581 00:55:49.639 --> 00:55:55.480 composes his life. The Communication trenches that night were good and deep, and 582 00:55:55.719 --> 00:56:01.639 dry and free from the awfulness of mud. But they were very few and 583 00:56:01.920 --> 00:56:08.440 unintelligently used. There had been an attack that day, and coming by the 584 00:56:08.559 --> 00:56:15.119 same trench was a long stream of stretchers and wounded men, and odd parties 585 00:56:15.159 --> 00:56:20.559 coming to fetch water from the well, and whole battalions relieved from other parts 586 00:56:20.559 --> 00:56:24.760 of the line. Our men had been sent up insanely with full packs. 587 00:56:25.519 --> 00:56:30.960 For a man so equipped to pass another naked in the narrow ditch would have 588 00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:36.679 been difficult, when all those that he meets have also straps and hooks and 589 00:56:36.840 --> 00:56:44.119 excrescences about them. Each separate encounter means heart breaking entanglements and squeezes and sudden 590 00:56:44.159 --> 00:56:50.880 paroxysms of rage. That night we stood a total of hours hopelessly jammed in 591 00:56:50.960 --> 00:56:57.039 the suffocating trench, with other troops trying to get down. A man stood 592 00:56:57.039 --> 00:57:01.280 in those crushes, unable to sit down, unable to lean comfortably against the 593 00:57:01.400 --> 00:57:07.079 wall because of his pack, unable even to get his hand to his water 594 00:57:07.159 --> 00:57:13.559 bottle and quench his intolerable thirst, unable almost to breathe for the hot smell 595 00:57:13.639 --> 00:57:20.559 of herded humanity. Only a thin ribbon of stars overhead, remotely roofing his 596 00:57:20.679 --> 00:57:25.119 prison, reminded him that indeed he was still in the living world and not 597 00:57:25.320 --> 00:57:31.599 pursuing some hideous nightmare. At long last some one would take charge of the 598 00:57:31.679 --> 00:57:37.639 situation, and by sheer muscular fighting for space, the two masses would be 599 00:57:37.679 --> 00:57:45.000 extricated. Then one moved on again, And now each man has become a 600 00:57:45.119 --> 00:57:52.639 mere, lifeless automaton. Every few yards there is a wire hanging across the 601 00:57:52.719 --> 00:57:57.840 trench at the height of a man's eyes, and he runs blindly into it, 602 00:57:58.360 --> 00:58:02.960 or it catches in the piling swivel of his rifle. Painfully he removes 603 00:58:04.000 --> 00:58:07.199 it, or in a fit of fury, tears the wire away from him. 604 00:58:08.039 --> 00:58:12.280 Or there is a man lying in a corner with a wounded leg, 605 00:58:12.679 --> 00:58:16.920 crying out to each passer by not to tread on him, or a stretcher 606 00:58:17.000 --> 00:58:24.280 party slowly struggling against the tide. Mechanically, each man grapples with these obstacles, 607 00:58:25.079 --> 00:58:30.559 mechanically repeats the ceaseless messages that are passed up and down, and the 608 00:58:30.679 --> 00:58:38.280 warning wire stretcher party step up to those behind and stumbles on. He is 609 00:58:38.360 --> 00:58:43.559 only conscious of the dead weight of his load, and the braces of his 610 00:58:43.679 --> 00:58:47.519 pack biting into his shoulders, of his thirst, and the sweat of his 611 00:58:47.639 --> 00:58:53.400 body. And the longing to lie down and sleep. When we halt, 612 00:58:54.079 --> 00:59:00.199 men fall into a doze as they stand, and curse pitifully when they are 613 00:59:00.320 --> 00:59:05.920 urged on from behind. We reach the inhabited part of the line, and 614 00:59:06.000 --> 00:59:10.599 the obstacles become more frequent, for there are traverses every ten yards, and 615 00:59:10.840 --> 00:59:16.039 men sleeping on the floor, and a litter of rifles, water cans, 616 00:59:16.079 --> 00:59:23.400 and scattered equipment. Forever we wind round the endless traverses and squeeze past the 617 00:59:23.519 --> 00:59:30.719 endless host we are relieving, and sometimes the parapet is low or broken or 618 00:59:30.840 --> 00:59:35.159 thin, or there is a dangerous gap, and we are told to keep 619 00:59:35.159 --> 00:59:40.400 our heads down and dully pass back the message so that it reaches men meaninglessly 620 00:59:40.599 --> 00:59:46.400 when they have passed the danger point or are still far from it. All 621 00:59:46.440 --> 00:59:52.079 the time there is a wild rattle of rapid fire from the turks, and 622 00:59:52.320 --> 00:59:58.519 bullets hammer irritably on the parapet, or fly singing overhead. When a man 623 00:59:58.639 --> 01:00:02.400 reached his destined par to the trench that night, there were still long minutes 624 01:00:02.480 --> 01:00:08.920 of exasperation before him, for we were inexperienced troops, and first of all 625 01:00:08.960 --> 01:00:15.079 the men crowded in too far together and must turn about and press back so 626 01:00:15.119 --> 01:00:21.400 as to cover the whole ground to be garrisoned. Then they would flock like 627 01:00:21.559 --> 01:00:28.119 sad sheep too far in the opposite direction. This was the subaltern's bad time, 628 01:00:28.760 --> 01:00:34.559 for the officer must squeeze backwards and forwards, struggling to dispose properly his 629 01:00:34.639 --> 01:00:38.119 own sullen platoon. And it was hard for him to be patient with their 630 01:00:38.159 --> 01:00:45.519 stupidity, for like them, he only longed to fling off his cursed equipment 631 01:00:45.800 --> 01:00:52.079 and lie down and sleep forever. He like them, had but one thought 632 01:00:52.920 --> 01:00:55.480 that if there were to be no release from the hateful burden that clung to 633 01:00:55.559 --> 01:01:01.159 his back and cut into his shoulders and ceaseless impeded him, if there were 634 01:01:01.199 --> 01:01:07.159 to be no relief or his thirst and the urgent aching of all his body, 635 01:01:07.239 --> 01:01:13.719 he must soon sink down and scream. Harry's platoon was settled in when 636 01:01:13.719 --> 01:01:19.639 I found him, hidden away somewhere in the third reserve line. He had 637 01:01:19.679 --> 01:01:25.119 conscientiously posted a few centuries and done all those things which a good platoon commander 638 01:01:25.159 --> 01:01:30.960 should do, and was lying himself in a sort of stupor of fatigue. 639 01:01:30.880 --> 01:01:36.000 Physically, he was not strong, rather frail, in fact, For the 640 01:01:36.039 --> 01:01:42.199 infantry. He had a narrow chest and slightly round shoulders, and his heart 641 01:01:42.239 --> 01:01:47.400 would not have passed any civilian doctor. And from my own experience I knew 642 01:01:47.440 --> 01:01:52.880 that the march must have tried him terribly. But a little rest had soothed 643 01:01:52.920 --> 01:02:00.000 the intense nervous irritation whose origins I have tried to describe, and his spirit 644 01:02:00.119 --> 01:02:05.119 it was as sturdy as ever. He struggled to his feet and leaned over 645 01:02:05.159 --> 01:02:09.239 the parados with me. The moon was now high up in the northeast. 646 01:02:10.079 --> 01:02:15.760 The Turks had ceased their rapid fire at moonrise, and now an immense piece 647 01:02:15.840 --> 01:02:22.960 wrapped the peninsula. We were high up on the center slopes of Ashibaba, 648 01:02:22.199 --> 01:02:28.360 and all the six miles which other men had conquered lay bathed in the moonlight 649 01:02:28.400 --> 01:02:32.599 below us. Far away at the cape, we could see the long green 650 01:02:32.719 --> 01:02:37.079 lights of the hospital ships, and all about us were glow worms in the 651 01:02:37.159 --> 01:02:44.480 scrub. Left and right, the pale parapets of trenches crept like dim seen 652 01:02:44.639 --> 01:02:51.440 snakes into the little valleys and vanished over the opposite slopes. Only a cruiser 653 01:02:51.519 --> 01:02:58.719 offshore, firing lazily at long intervals, disturbed the slumbrous stillness. No better 654 01:02:58.760 --> 01:03:04.599 sedative could have been desired. How did you like the march, I said, 655 01:03:05.880 --> 01:03:08.480 oh, I'll write one of my men was wounded, I believe, 656 01:03:08.719 --> 01:03:15.320 But I didn't see him, all right, I said, personally, I 657 01:03:15.360 --> 01:03:19.800 thought it was damned awful. It's a marvel that any of us are here 658 01:03:19.840 --> 01:03:25.239 at all. I hear a company still adrift as it is. Well, 659 01:03:25.480 --> 01:03:30.719 anyhow we got here, said Harry, What a wonderful spot this is, 660 01:03:31.360 --> 01:03:37.400 And look at those damned glow worms. I was anxious to know what impression 661 01:03:37.440 --> 01:03:42.679 the night had made on Harry, but these and other answers gave me no 662 01:03:42.719 --> 01:03:49.119 real clue. I had a suspicion that it had, in truth considerably distressed 663 01:03:49.199 --> 01:03:53.480 him, But any such effect had clearly given way to the romantic appeal of 664 01:03:53.519 --> 01:04:00.559 the quiet moon. I too was enjoying the sense of peace. But I 665 01:04:00.679 --> 01:04:05.519 was still acutely conscious of the unpleasantness of the night's proceedings, and a certain 666 01:04:05.719 --> 01:04:12.840 envy took hold of me at this youth's capacity to concentrate on the attractive shadow 667 01:04:12.880 --> 01:04:18.079 of distasteful things. There was a heavy, musty smell over all part of 668 01:04:18.119 --> 01:04:24.159 the trench, the smell of a dead turk lying just over the parapet, 669 01:04:24.639 --> 01:04:30.360 and it occurred to me maliciously to wake Harry from his dreams and bring home 670 01:04:30.360 --> 01:04:34.559 to him the reality of things. Funny smell you've got here, Harry, 671 01:04:34.840 --> 01:04:42.000 I said, Know what it is? Yes, it's cactus or amaryllus, 672 01:04:42.519 --> 01:04:45.800 or one of those funny plants they have here, isn't it? I read 673 01:04:45.840 --> 01:04:53.039 about it in the papers. This was too much. It's a dead turk, 674 01:04:53.440 --> 01:04:57.480 I told him, with a wicked anticipation of the effect I should produce. 675 01:04:58.840 --> 01:05:03.280 The effect, however, was not what I expected. No, said 676 01:05:03.320 --> 01:05:11.159 Harry, with obvious elation. Let's find the devil. Forthwith, he swarmed 677 01:05:11.159 --> 01:05:15.800 over the parapet, full of life again, nosed about till he found the 678 01:05:15.840 --> 01:05:21.119 reeking thing, and gazed on it with undisguised interest. No sign of horror 679 01:05:21.239 --> 01:05:27.119 or disgust could I detect in him. Yet it was not pure ghoulishness. 680 01:05:27.719 --> 01:05:33.400 It was simply the boy's greed for experience and the savor of adventure. Anyhow, 681 01:05:33.519 --> 01:05:40.199 my experiment had failed, and I found that I was glad. But 682 01:05:40.320 --> 01:05:44.519 when I was leaving him for the next platoon, he was lying down for 683 01:05:44.599 --> 01:05:48.239 a little sleep on the dirty floor of the trench, And as he flashed 684 01:05:48.280 --> 01:05:55.079 his electric torch over the ground. I saw several small white objects writhing in 685 01:05:55.119 --> 01:06:00.440 the dust. The company commander, whom we had relieved, had told me 686 01:06:00.519 --> 01:06:04.679 how under all these trenches the Turks and the French had buried many of their 687 01:06:04.760 --> 01:06:11.400 dead, And in a moment of nauseating insight, I knew that these things 688 01:06:11.440 --> 01:06:16.519 were the maggots which fed upon their bodies. Harry, I said, you 689 01:06:16.559 --> 01:06:21.639 can't sleep there, look at those things. And I told him what they 690 01:06:21.639 --> 01:06:30.159 were, rubbish. He said, their glow worms. Gone to sleep well. 691 01:06:30.440 --> 01:06:35.440 Then I left him, But that's how he was in those days. 692 01:06:38.800 --> 01:06:58.480 End of chapter two recording by Roger Maline. Chapter three of the Secret Battle 693 01:06:58.719 --> 01:07:03.440 by A. P. Herbert. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. 694 01:07:04.519 --> 01:07:13.400 Recording by Roger Maline. So many men have written descriptions of trench life 695 01:07:13.400 --> 01:07:18.079 in France, there have been so many poems, plays and speeches about it, 696 01:07:18.480 --> 01:07:23.800 that the majority of our nation must have a much clearer mental picture of 697 01:07:23.840 --> 01:07:28.880 life on the Western Front than they have of life at the Savoy or life 698 01:07:28.880 --> 01:07:34.039 in East Ham. But the Gallipoli Peninsula was never part of the Western Front, 699 01:07:34.599 --> 01:07:40.599 and no man came back from that place on leave lucky. Indeed, 700 01:07:40.760 --> 01:07:46.000 if he came at all, the campaign was never, for obvious reasons, 701 01:07:46.119 --> 01:07:54.199 an important item in official propaganda, and the various non official agencies which now 702 01:07:54.280 --> 01:07:59.760 bring home the war to Streatham had not begun to articulate when the campaign came 703 01:07:59.800 --> 01:08:05.000 to an end, and so neither Streatham nor anyone else knew anything about it. 704 01:08:06.039 --> 01:08:11.960 And though for a soldier to speak, however distantly of the details of 705 01:08:12.039 --> 01:08:17.600 trench life in France, is now in some circles considered a solecism, equivalent 706 01:08:17.640 --> 01:08:21.920 to the talking of shop. I hope I may still, without offense, 707 01:08:23.039 --> 01:08:28.800 make some brief reference to the trenches of the Peninsula, for in truth it 708 01:08:28.920 --> 01:08:34.079 was all very different. Above all, from dawn to dawn it was genuine 709 01:08:34.119 --> 01:08:43.039 infantry warfare in France, Apart from full dress attacks. An infantryman may live 710 01:08:43.119 --> 01:08:47.800 for many months without once firing his rifle or running the remotest risk of death 711 01:08:47.880 --> 01:08:56.319 by a rifle bullet. Patiently heat tramps and watches and digs and is shelled, 712 01:08:56.720 --> 01:09:00.800 clinging fondly to his rifle night and day, but seldom or never in 713 01:09:00.840 --> 01:09:05.640 a position to use it, so that in the stagnant days of the past 714 01:09:06.199 --> 01:09:10.800 he came to look upon it as a mere part of his equipment, like 715 01:09:11.000 --> 01:09:16.960 his water bottle, only heavier and less comforting, and in real emergencies fumbled 716 01:09:17.000 --> 01:09:23.960 stupidly with the unfamiliar mechanism. This was true for a long time of the 717 01:09:24.039 --> 01:09:30.840 normal or peacetime sectors of France. But in those hill trenches of Gallipoli, 718 01:09:30.359 --> 01:09:35.359 the Turk and the Gentile fought with each other all day with rifle and bomb, 719 01:09:36.079 --> 01:09:40.840 and in the evening crept out and stabbed each other in the dark. 720 01:09:41.920 --> 01:09:46.000 There was no release from the strain of watching and listening and taking thought. 721 01:09:46.880 --> 01:09:53.319 The Turk was always on higher ground. He knew every inch of all those 722 01:09:53.399 --> 01:09:59.560 valleys and vineyards and scrub strewn slopes, and he had an uncanny accuracy of 723 01:09:59.680 --> 01:10:05.159 aim. Moreover, many of his men had the devotion of fanatics, which 724 01:10:05.199 --> 01:10:11.600 inspired them to lie out behind our lines, with stores of food enough to 725 01:10:11.720 --> 01:10:17.079 last out their ammunition, certain only of their own ultimate destruction, but content 726 01:10:17.199 --> 01:10:24.199 to lie there and pick off the infidels till they too died. They were 727 01:10:24.359 --> 01:10:29.600 very brave men. But the Turkish snipers were not confined to the madmen, 728 01:10:29.680 --> 01:10:34.359 who were caught disguised as trees in the broad daylight and found their way into 729 01:10:34.399 --> 01:10:42.399 the picture papers. Every trench was full of snipers, less theatrical but no 730 01:10:42.560 --> 01:10:48.600 less effective. And in the night they crept out with unbelievable stealth and lay 731 01:10:48.720 --> 01:10:56.119 close into our lines, killing our sentries and chipping away our crumbling parapets. 732 01:10:57.840 --> 01:11:03.239 So the sniping was terrible. In that first week we lost twelve men each 733 01:11:03.359 --> 01:11:08.960 day. They fell without a sound. In the early morning, as they 734 01:11:09.000 --> 01:11:14.199 stood up from their cooking at the brazier, fell shot through the head and 735 01:11:14.399 --> 01:11:18.840 lay snoring horribly in the dust. They were sniped as they came up the 736 01:11:18.880 --> 01:11:25.239 communication trench with water, or carelessly raised their heads to look back at the 737 01:11:25.279 --> 01:11:30.159 ships in the bay. And in the night there were sudden screams where a 738 01:11:30.239 --> 01:11:35.960 sentry had moved his head too often against the moon. If a periscope were 739 01:11:36.039 --> 01:11:43.159 raised, however furtively, it was shivered in an instant. If a man 740 01:11:43.399 --> 01:11:47.840 peered over himself, he was dead. Far back in the reserve lines, 741 01:11:48.279 --> 01:11:53.960 or at the wells, where a man thought himself hidden from view, the 742 01:11:54.000 --> 01:12:00.760 snipers saw and killed him. All along the line were danger posts where many 743 01:12:00.800 --> 01:12:06.439 had been hit. These places became invested with a peculiar awe and as you 744 01:12:06.520 --> 01:12:11.319 came to them, the men said, keep low, here, sir, 745 01:12:12.039 --> 01:12:16.920 in a mysterious whisper, as though the Turk could hear them. Indeed, 746 01:12:17.119 --> 01:12:23.359 so uncanny were many of the deaths that some men said the Turk could see 747 01:12:23.399 --> 01:12:30.279 impossibly through the walls of the trench and crouched nervously in the bottom. All 748 01:12:30.359 --> 01:12:35.159 the long communication trenches were watched, and wherever a head or a moving rifle 749 01:12:35.239 --> 01:12:42.560 showed at a gap, a bullet came with automatic regularity. Going down a 750 01:12:42.600 --> 01:12:46.520 communication trench alone, a man would hear the tap of these bullets on the 751 01:12:46.600 --> 01:12:54.159 parapet following him along, and break into a half hysterical run in the bright 752 01:12:54.279 --> 01:13:00.520 sunlight to get away from this unnatural pursuit. For such it seemed to him 753 01:13:00.520 --> 01:13:06.119 to be. The fire seemed to come from all angles, and units bitterly 754 01:13:06.159 --> 01:13:12.199 accused their neighbors of killing their men, when it seemed impossible that any Turk 755 01:13:12.279 --> 01:13:16.920 could have fired the shot. For a little then, this sniping was thoroughly 756 01:13:16.920 --> 01:13:21.840 on the men's nerves. Nothing in their training had prepared them for it. 757 01:13:23.720 --> 01:13:29.159 They hated the blinded feeling it produced. It was demoralizing, always to be 758 01:13:29.279 --> 01:13:34.760 wondering if one's head was low enough always to walk with a stoop. It 759 01:13:34.840 --> 01:13:41.239 was tiring to be always taking care, and it was very dangerous to relax 760 01:13:41.399 --> 01:13:46.079 that care for a moment. Something had to be done. And the heavy, 761 01:13:46.199 --> 01:13:53.039 methodical way in which these tinesiders of ours learned to counter and finally overcome 762 01:13:53.039 --> 01:13:59.680 the sniper is characteristic of the nation's effort throughout this war. The Turks were 763 01:14:00.039 --> 01:14:06.560 natural soldiers fighting in their own country. More they were natural scouts. Our 764 01:14:06.600 --> 01:14:14.399 men were ponderous, uncouth pitmen from Timeside and the Clyde. But we chose 765 01:14:14.439 --> 01:14:18.079 out a small body of them who could shoot better than their fellows and called 766 01:14:18.119 --> 01:14:27.039 them snipers. And behold they were snipers. We gave them telescopes and periscopes 767 01:14:27.239 --> 01:14:31.640 and observers, and set them in odd corners and told them to snipe, 768 01:14:32.399 --> 01:14:39.920 And by slow degrees they became interested and active and expert, and killed many 769 01:14:40.000 --> 01:14:45.600 Turks. The third time we came to those trenches, we could move about 770 01:14:45.680 --> 01:14:51.319 with comparative freedom. In all this, Harry took a leading part for the 771 01:14:51.399 --> 01:14:58.439 battalion scout officer was one of the first casualties, and Harry, who had 772 01:14:58.479 --> 01:15:02.159 had some training as a out in the Ranks was appointed in his place. 773 01:15:03.600 --> 01:15:10.199 In this capacity, he was in charge of the improvised snipers, and all 774 01:15:10.279 --> 01:15:16.000 day moved about the line from post to post, encouraging and correcting. All 775 01:15:16.039 --> 01:15:23.720 this he did with characteristic energy and enthusiasm, and tired himself out with long 776 01:15:23.840 --> 01:15:30.159 wanderings in the scorching sun. In those trenches, all movement was an intense 777 01:15:30.319 --> 01:15:35.880 labor. The sun blazed always into the suffocating ditch, where no breath of 778 01:15:36.000 --> 01:15:43.039 air came. The men not on duty lay huddled wherever they could steal an 779 01:15:43.039 --> 01:15:47.520 inch of shade, with the flies crawling about their eyes and open mouths. 780 01:15:49.000 --> 01:15:55.600 Progress was a weary routine of squeezing past men, or stepping over men, 781 01:15:56.239 --> 01:16:02.159 or running into men round corners as one stood to escape death. In little 782 01:16:02.279 --> 01:16:08.880 niches in the wall were mess tins boiling over boxwood fires, so that the 783 01:16:09.000 --> 01:16:13.920 eyes smarted from their smoke, and the air was full of hot fumes, 784 01:16:14.880 --> 01:16:20.520 and everywhere was the stuffy smell of human flesh in the heat of the day. 785 01:16:20.880 --> 01:16:29.279 These things produced in the healthiest man an intolerable irritation and fatigue. To 786 01:16:29.439 --> 01:16:33.680 a frail, sensitive youth like Harry, his day long rambles must have been 787 01:16:33.800 --> 01:16:42.279 torture. But though he too became touchy, he pursued his task with determination 788 01:16:42.920 --> 01:16:46.680 and would not be tempted away. The rest of us, when not on 789 01:16:46.840 --> 01:16:53.119 watch, lay torpid all the hot hours in the shallow holes we had scratched 790 01:16:53.199 --> 01:17:00.800 behind the trench and called company headquarters. These places were roofed only with the 791 01:17:00.840 --> 01:17:05.600 inevitable waterproof sheet, and had there been any serious shelling, would have been 792 01:17:05.720 --> 01:17:14.079 death traps. Into these dwellings came many strange animals, driven from their nests 793 01:17:14.079 --> 01:17:18.560 among the roots of the scrub. Snakes, lizards, and hideous centipedes. 794 01:17:19.920 --> 01:17:26.560 Large clumsy winged things, which some said were locusts, fell into the trench, 795 01:17:27.479 --> 01:17:31.000 and for a few hours strove vainly to leap out again, till they 796 01:17:31.000 --> 01:17:36.640 were trampled to death. They had the color of ivory, and shone with 797 01:17:36.800 --> 01:17:44.239 bright tints in the sun, like shot silk. The men found tortoises derelict 798 01:17:44.279 --> 01:17:48.000 in near shell holes, and set them to walk in the trench, and 799 01:17:48.159 --> 01:17:54.600 they too, wandered sadly about till they disappeared. No man knew where. 800 01:17:56.279 --> 01:18:00.760 The flies were not yet at full strength, but they were very bad, 801 01:18:00.439 --> 01:18:05.800 and all day we wrestled with thirst. He was a lucky man who could 802 01:18:05.880 --> 01:18:12.520 sleep in the daylight hours. And when the cool evening came beckoning him to 803 01:18:12.520 --> 01:18:16.239 sleep, he must rise and bestir himself for the work of the night. 804 01:18:17.800 --> 01:18:24.319 Then all the line stirred with life again, with the cleaning of rifles thick 805 01:18:24.359 --> 01:18:29.479 with heavy dust, and the bustle of men making ready to stand to arms. 806 01:18:30.000 --> 01:18:33.760 Now, indeed, could a man have slept when all the pests of 807 01:18:33.760 --> 01:18:39.239 the day had been exercised by the cool dusk, and the bitter cold of 808 01:18:39.279 --> 01:18:44.600 the midnight was not yet come. But there was no sleep for any man, 809 01:18:45.159 --> 01:18:50.319 only watching and digging, and carrying, and working and listening. And 810 01:18:50.479 --> 01:18:57.319 so soon as Ashibaba was swathed in shadow and the sun well down behind the 811 01:18:57.399 --> 01:19:03.720 westward islands, the Turk again his evening fusillade of rapid fire. This was 812 01:19:03.880 --> 01:19:10.840 an astonishing performance, night after night at this hour, every man in his 813 01:19:11.000 --> 01:19:15.239 trench must have blazed away till his rifle would do its work no more. 814 01:19:16.000 --> 01:19:23.159 Rapid fire has been a specialty of the Turkish infantryman since the days of Plevna, 815 01:19:23.239 --> 01:19:29.399 and indeed he excels in it. Few English units could equal his performance 816 01:19:29.479 --> 01:19:34.279 for ten minutes, But the Turk kept up the same sustained, deafening volume 817 01:19:34.319 --> 01:19:40.680 of fire for hours at a stretch, till the moon came up and allayed 818 01:19:40.680 --> 01:19:45.680 his fears, For it was an exhibition of nervousness as well as musketry. 819 01:19:46.840 --> 01:19:53.079 Fearful of a stealthy assault in the dark, he would not desist till he 820 01:19:53.119 --> 01:19:59.640 could see well across his own wire captured. Orders by the Turkish high command 821 01:20:00.199 --> 01:20:06.680 repeatedly forbade this reckless expenditure of ammunition, and sometimes for two nights he would 822 01:20:06.720 --> 01:20:14.319 restrain himself, but in the early days never for more. Our policy was 823 01:20:14.359 --> 01:20:18.880 to lie down in the trench and think sardonically of the ammunition he was wasting. 824 01:20:19.800 --> 01:20:25.880 But even this was not good for men's minds. Most of the fire 825 01:20:26.079 --> 01:20:30.520 was high and whizzed over into the gullies, but many hundreds of all those 826 01:20:30.640 --> 01:20:36.720 thousands of bullets hit the parapet. There was a steady, reiterant rap of 827 01:20:36.720 --> 01:20:43.439 them on the sand bags, very irritating to the nerves, and bits of 828 01:20:43.439 --> 01:20:49.600 the parapet splashed viciously into the trench over the crouching men. In that tornado 829 01:20:49.680 --> 01:20:55.039 of sound, a man must shout to make himself heard by his friends, 830 01:20:56.000 --> 01:21:01.960 and this produced in his mind an uncomfortable sense of isolation. He seemed cut 831 01:21:01.960 --> 01:21:09.600 off from humanity, and brooded secretly to himself. Safe he might be in 832 01:21:09.680 --> 01:21:15.880 that trench, but he could not long sit alone in that tempestuous security without 833 01:21:15.960 --> 01:21:21.479 imagining himself in other circumstances, climbing up the parapet, leaving the trench, 834 01:21:23.239 --> 01:21:29.680 walking into that So on the few murky nights when the moon would not show 835 01:21:29.760 --> 01:21:35.000 herself but peeped temptingly from behind large bolsters of cloud, so that even the 836 01:21:35.039 --> 01:21:42.960 Turks diminished their fire, and then with a petulant crescendo continued, men lay 837 01:21:43.000 --> 01:21:48.079 in the dust and prayed for the moon to come. So demoralizing was this 838 01:21:48.239 --> 01:21:54.560 fire that it was not easy to induce even sentries to keep an effective watch. 839 01:21:56.039 --> 01:22:00.600 Not unnaturally, they did not like lifting their heads to look over, 840 01:22:00.199 --> 01:22:06.840 even for the periodical peeps which were insisted upon. An officer on his rounds 841 01:22:06.880 --> 01:22:12.880 would find them standing on the firestep with their heads well below the parapet, 842 01:22:13.800 --> 01:22:17.640 but gazing intently into the heart of a sandbag, with the air of a 843 01:22:17.720 --> 01:22:25.000 man whom no movement of the enemy can escape. The officer must then perform 844 01:22:25.079 --> 01:22:30.920 the melancholy rite of showing the man how safe it is. This consisted in 845 01:22:30.079 --> 01:22:36.199 climbing up to the firestep and exposing an immoderate amount of his head, gazing 846 01:22:36.239 --> 01:22:44.920 deliberately at the turks, and striving to create an impression of indifference and calm. 847 01:22:44.960 --> 01:22:50.159 He then jumped down, shouting cheerily that's the way Thompson, and walked 848 01:22:50.199 --> 01:22:58.199 off, thanking God. Personally, I did not like this duty at the 849 01:22:58.279 --> 01:23:02.520 best. It was an hypocrisy. For the reluctance of the officer to look 850 01:23:02.600 --> 01:23:08.439 over was no less acute than the man's, and it was one thing to 851 01:23:08.520 --> 01:23:13.119 look for a moment or two and pass on, and another to stand there 852 01:23:13.159 --> 01:23:19.039 and repeat the process at brief intervals. Officers performed this rite according to their 853 01:23:19.159 --> 01:23:27.079 several characters. Eustace, for example, with a cynical grin which derided with 854 01:23:27.239 --> 01:23:33.760 equal injustice both himself and his action. He was notably courageous, and his 855 01:23:33.880 --> 01:23:41.960 nonchalance on the parapet would have been definitely reassuring to the nervous sentry, But 856 01:23:42.119 --> 01:23:47.600 his expression and attitude said clearly, this is all damned nonsense, my good 857 01:23:47.600 --> 01:23:53.880 man. You don't like standing up here, Neither do I, and neither 858 01:23:53.960 --> 01:24:00.079 of us is deceiving the other at all. Burnett did it with genuine and 859 01:24:00.399 --> 01:24:06.560 ill concealed distaste, too hasty to be convincing. Harry alone did it with 860 01:24:06.600 --> 01:24:13.640 a gallant abandon like a night throwing down his challenge to the enemy, and 861 01:24:13.760 --> 01:24:18.560 he alone can have been really inspiring to the reluctant Sentry. He had a 862 01:24:18.680 --> 01:24:25.600 keen dramatic instinct, and in these little scenes rather enjoyed the part of the 863 01:24:25.760 --> 01:24:32.760 unperturbed hero calming the timorous herd. Watching him once or twice, I wondered 864 01:24:32.800 --> 01:24:40.079 how much was acting and how much real fearlessness. If it was acting, 865 01:24:40.600 --> 01:24:44.760 he was braver than than most of us, But I think it was the 866 01:24:44.880 --> 01:24:49.159 other. Just then, there were five or six hours between the end of 867 01:24:49.199 --> 01:24:56.800 the rapid fire and the stand, two before dawn. During these hours, 868 01:24:57.359 --> 01:25:01.800 three of the company officers were always on duty. We split the time in 869 01:25:01.920 --> 01:25:06.319 two, and it was a weary three hours, patrolling the still trench, 870 01:25:08.000 --> 01:25:14.479 stumbling over sleeping men sprawled out like dead in the moonlight, and goading the 871 01:25:14.560 --> 01:25:20.680 tired sentries to watchfulness. Terrible was the want of sleep. The men fell 872 01:25:20.720 --> 01:25:27.199 asleep with their heads against the iron loopholes, and starting up as the officer 873 01:25:27.279 --> 01:25:32.840 shook them, swore that they had never nodded. Only by constant movement could 874 01:25:32.880 --> 01:25:39.319 the officer be sure even of himself. He dared not sit for a moment, 875 01:25:39.560 --> 01:25:43.960 or lean in the corner of the traverse, though all his limbs ached 876 01:25:44.039 --> 01:25:48.640 for rest, lest he too be found snoring at his post, and he 877 01:25:48.920 --> 01:25:55.760 and all his men be butchered in their guilty sleep. And so he drags 878 01:25:55.800 --> 01:26:01.079 his sore feet ceaselessly backwards and forwards, marvel at the stillness and the stars 879 01:26:01.239 --> 01:26:08.720 and the strange musky night smell which has crept out of the earth. Far 880 01:26:08.800 --> 01:26:13.239 away, he can see the green lights of a hospital ship, and as 881 01:26:13.239 --> 01:26:17.800 he looks, they begin to move and dwindle slowly into the distance. For 882 01:26:17.960 --> 01:26:24.119 she is going home, and he thinks of the warmth and light and comfort 883 01:26:24.159 --> 01:26:29.319 in that ship, and follows her wistfully with his eyes till she is gone. 884 01:26:30.880 --> 01:26:35.199 Turning back, he sees a sentry silent above him. He too is 885 01:26:35.239 --> 01:26:41.439 watching the ship, and each man knows the other's thoughts, but they do 886 01:26:41.520 --> 01:26:47.439 not speak. At last comes the officer, relieving him cold and irritable from 887 01:26:47.479 --> 01:26:54.359 his brief sleep. He is a little late, and they compare watches resentfully, 888 01:26:55.359 --> 01:27:00.000 and unless they be firm friends, at that moment they hate each other. 889 01:27:00.319 --> 01:27:04.439 But the one who is relieved goes down to the dugout in the support 890 01:27:04.520 --> 01:27:12.039 line a little jauntily, now though his feet are painful, feeling already that 891 01:27:12.119 --> 01:27:17.000 he could watch many hours more. And suddenly the moon is beautiful and the 892 01:27:17.079 --> 01:27:23.960 stars are friendly. For he is going to sleep. But when he comes 893 01:27:24.000 --> 01:27:29.399 to the little narrow hole which is the dugout, there are two officers already 894 01:27:29.479 --> 01:27:34.239 filling most of the floor, noisily asleep. One of them is lying on 895 01:27:34.319 --> 01:27:40.920 his waterproof sheet. He tugs angrily at it, but it is caught in 896 01:27:41.039 --> 01:27:45.359 something and will not come away. He shakes the man, but he does 897 01:27:45.399 --> 01:27:51.840 not wake. Too tired to continue, he lies down awkwardly in the crooked 898 01:27:51.920 --> 01:27:57.760 space which is left between the legs and arms and equipment of the others. 899 01:27:59.159 --> 01:28:03.680 He draws his meager trench coat over his body and pulls his knees up that 900 01:28:03.720 --> 01:28:10.439 they too may be covered. There is nothing over his feet, and already 901 01:28:10.560 --> 01:28:16.319 they are cold. His head he rests on a rough army haversack. In 902 01:28:16.399 --> 01:28:20.159 the middle of it there is a hard knob, a soap tin, or 903 01:28:20.199 --> 01:28:27.359 a book or a tin of beef for a little. He lies uncomfortably like 904 01:28:27.560 --> 01:28:31.640 this, hoping for sleep. His ear is crushed on the hard pillow. 905 01:28:32.439 --> 01:28:38.199 There is something knobbly under his hip. He knows that he ought to get 906 01:28:38.279 --> 01:28:44.920 up and rearrange himself, but he lacks the necessary energy. Finally, he 907 01:28:45.039 --> 01:28:49.239 raises himself on his elbow and tugs at the towel in his haversack to make 908 01:28:49.319 --> 01:28:56.159 him a pillow. The strap of the haversack is fastened and the towel will 909 01:28:56.199 --> 01:29:02.560 not emerge. He unfastens the haversack and in desperation, pulls out the whole 910 01:29:02.600 --> 01:29:09.800 of its contents with the towel. His toothbrush and his sponge and his diary 911 01:29:10.199 --> 01:29:15.239 are scattered in the dust. Some of the pages of the diary are loose, 912 01:29:15.840 --> 01:29:19.039 and if he leaves it, they will be lost. He feels in 913 01:29:19.079 --> 01:29:26.119 the darkness for his electric torch and curses because he cannot find it. He 914 01:29:26.199 --> 01:29:30.159 has lent it to the damned fool who relieved him. Why can't people have 915 01:29:30.399 --> 01:29:38.199 things of their own? Painfully groping, he gathers his belongings and puts them 916 01:29:38.399 --> 01:29:44.479 one by one in the haversack, arranging his towel on the top. His 917 01:29:44.680 --> 01:29:49.680 elbow is sore with leaning on it, but the pillow is ready lying down 918 01:29:49.720 --> 01:29:57.000 again. He falls quickly to sleep. Almost at once there is a wild 919 01:29:57.000 --> 01:30:03.119 din in his dreams, rapid fire again springing up. He rushes into the 920 01:30:03.159 --> 01:30:10.479 trench with the others. It is an attack. Who is attacking? The 921 01:30:10.560 --> 01:30:15.520 men in the trench know nothing. It started on the right, they say, 922 01:30:15.039 --> 01:30:19.640 And now the whole line is ablaze again with this maddening rifle fire. 923 01:30:21.079 --> 01:30:26.479 Running back to the dugout, he gropes in the wreckage of coats and equipment 924 01:30:26.880 --> 01:30:31.479 for his belt and revolver. He must hurry to the front line to take 925 01:30:31.560 --> 01:30:38.920 charge of his platoon. There are no telephones to the firing line. What 926 01:30:39.000 --> 01:30:45.199 the hell is happening. When he is halfway up the communication trench, cannoning 927 01:30:45.239 --> 01:30:50.720 into the walls in his haste and weariness, the firing suddenly stops. It 928 01:30:50.800 --> 01:30:57.039 was a wild panic started by the Senegalese holding the line on our right. 929 01:30:58.800 --> 01:31:03.880 Damned them black idiots. He goes back, swearing with the other officers, 930 01:31:04.479 --> 01:31:10.920 and they lie down. Anyhow, it is too late now to waste time 931 01:31:10.960 --> 01:31:15.520 on fussy arrangements. When he wakes up again, there is already a hint 932 01:31:15.560 --> 01:31:20.560 of light in the east. It is the stand to arms before dawn. 933 01:31:21.920 --> 01:31:28.640 His feet are numb and painful with cold. His limbs are cramped and aching, 934 01:31:29.239 --> 01:31:33.520 and his right forearm has gone to sleep. The flesh of his legs 935 01:31:33.680 --> 01:31:39.119 is clammy and sticks to the breeches. He has lived and slept in for 936 01:31:39.159 --> 01:31:45.880 five days. He longs for a bath. Slowly with the others, he 937 01:31:45.000 --> 01:31:49.600 raises himself and gropes weakly in the muddle of garments on the floor for his 938 01:31:49.680 --> 01:31:58.359 equipment. He cannot find his revolver. Burnett has lost his belt and mutters 939 01:31:58.439 --> 01:32:03.960 angrily to himself. All their belongings are entangled together in the narrow space. 940 01:32:05.000 --> 01:32:11.800 They disengage them without speaking to each other. Each one is in a dull 941 01:32:11.920 --> 01:32:16.600 coma of endurance. For the moment. Their spirit is at its lowest ebb. 942 01:32:17.600 --> 01:32:23.760 It is the most awful moment of warfare. In a little they will 943 01:32:23.840 --> 01:32:30.000 revive, But just now they cannot pretend to bravery or cheerfulness, only curse 944 01:32:30.119 --> 01:32:35.920 feebly and fumble in the darkness. They go out into the trench and join 945 01:32:36.000 --> 01:32:43.359 their platoons. The NCOs are still shaking and bullying, the men still asleep 946 01:32:44.479 --> 01:32:49.760 Some of these are almost senseless and can only be roused by prolonged physical violence. 947 01:32:51.039 --> 01:32:57.119 The officer braces himself for his duties, and by and by all the 948 01:32:57.199 --> 01:33:01.560 men are more or less awake and equipped, though their heads droop as they 949 01:33:01.600 --> 01:33:10.640 sit, and their neighbors nudge them into wakefulness. As the officer approaches mechanically, 950 01:33:10.760 --> 01:33:15.279 he fills and lights a pipe and takes a cautious sip at his water 951 01:33:15.359 --> 01:33:21.239 bottle. The pipe turns his empty stomach, and an intolerable emptiness assails him. 952 01:33:23.359 --> 01:33:28.560 He knocks out the pipe and peers over the parapet. It is almost 953 01:33:28.680 --> 01:33:33.960 light now, but a thin mist hides the Turkish trench. His face is 954 01:33:34.079 --> 01:33:40.079 greasy and taut with dirt, and the corners of his eyes are full of 955 01:33:40.199 --> 01:33:45.399 dust. His throat is dry, and there is a loathsome stubble on his 956 01:33:45.520 --> 01:33:51.479 chin, which he fingers absently, pulling at the long hairs steadily. The 957 01:33:51.640 --> 01:33:58.039 light grows and grows, and the men begin to chatter, and suddenly the 958 01:33:58.079 --> 01:34:02.279 sun emerges over the corner of Chi Baba, and life and warmth come back 959 01:34:02.319 --> 01:34:09.199 to the numb souls of all these men stand. Two is over, But 960 01:34:09.279 --> 01:34:14.359 as the men tear off their hateful equipment and lean their rifles against the wall 961 01:34:14.399 --> 01:34:17.439 of the trench. There is a sudden burst of shelling. On the right, 962 01:34:18.960 --> 01:34:25.119 figures appear running on the sky line. They are against the light and 963 01:34:25.199 --> 01:34:29.119 the shapes are dark, but there seems to be a dirty blue in their 964 01:34:29.239 --> 01:34:34.800 uniforms. No one quite knows how the line runs up there. It is 965 01:34:34.840 --> 01:34:42.960 a salient. The figures must be Turks attacking the French. The men gape 966 01:34:43.039 --> 01:34:48.000 over the parapet. The officer gapes it has nothing to do with them. 967 01:34:48.960 --> 01:34:55.199 Then he remembers what he is for and tells his men excitedly to fire on 968 01:34:55.279 --> 01:35:00.039 the figures. Some of the men have begun cooking their breakfast and are with 969 01:35:00.319 --> 01:35:06.840 difficulty seduced from their task. A spasmodic fire opens on the running figures. 970 01:35:09.039 --> 01:35:12.880 It is hard to say where they are running or what they are doing. 971 01:35:13.880 --> 01:35:18.520 The officer is puzzled. It is his first glimpse of battle, and he 972 01:35:18.640 --> 01:35:26.119 feels that a battle should be simple and easy to understand. The officer of 973 01:35:26.159 --> 01:35:31.479 the next platoon comes along. He is equally ignorant of affairs, but he 974 01:35:31.600 --> 01:35:40.279 thinks the figures are French attacking the Turks. They too wear blue the first 975 01:35:40.319 --> 01:35:45.119 officer rushes down the line, telling the men to seize fire. The men 976 01:35:45.159 --> 01:35:50.600 growl and go back to their cooking. It is fairly certain that none of 977 01:35:50.640 --> 01:35:57.680 them hit any of the distant figures. But the officer is worried. Why 978 01:35:57.880 --> 01:36:02.800 was nobody told what was to happen? What is it all about? He 979 01:36:02.880 --> 01:36:09.840 has been put in a false position. Presently, a belated chit arrives to 980 01:36:09.880 --> 01:36:14.880 say that the French were to attack at sunrise. But the attack was a 981 01:36:14.960 --> 01:36:20.640 fiasco and is postponed. And now all the air is sickly with the smell 982 01:36:20.680 --> 01:36:27.840 of cooking, and the dry wood crackles in every corner. Little wisps of 983 01:36:27.880 --> 01:36:32.199 smoke goes straight up in the still air. All the peninsula is beautiful in 984 01:36:32.239 --> 01:36:38.920 the sunlight, and wonderful to look upon against the dark blue of the sea. 985 01:36:39.159 --> 01:36:44.479 The dew sparkles on the scrub over the cypress grove. Comes the first 986 01:36:44.560 --> 01:36:51.520 aeroplane, humming contentedly. Another day has begun. The officer goes down, 987 01:36:51.640 --> 01:37:00.960 whistling to wash in a bucket. End of chapter three recording by Roger Maaleine. 988 01:37:13.760 --> 01:37:18.119 Chapter four of the Secret Battle by A. P. Herbert. This 989 01:37:18.319 --> 01:37:28.000 LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Roger Maline. Such was life 990 01:37:28.000 --> 01:37:32.039 in the line at that time. But I should make the soldiers almost automatic 991 01:37:32.079 --> 01:37:38.720 reservation that it might have been worse. There might have been heavy shelling, 992 01:37:39.319 --> 01:37:45.840 but the shelling on the trenches was negligible. Then there might have been mud, 993 01:37:45.039 --> 01:37:50.359 but there was not. And eight such days might have left Harry Penrose 994 01:37:50.479 --> 01:37:57.359 quite unaffected in spirit, in spite of his physical handicaps, by reason of 995 01:37:57.399 --> 01:38:03.079 his extraordinary vitality and zest. But there were two incidents before we went down 996 01:38:03.239 --> 01:38:08.319 which did affect him, and it is necessary that they should be told. 997 01:38:10.000 --> 01:38:13.279 On the fifth day in the line, he did a very brave thing, 998 01:38:13.920 --> 01:38:17.880 brave at least in the popular sense, which means that many another man would 999 01:38:17.960 --> 01:38:23.920 not have done that thing. To my mind, a man is brave only 1000 01:38:23.960 --> 01:38:29.840 in proportion to his knowledge and his susceptibility to fear. The standard of the 1001 01:38:29.920 --> 01:38:34.840 mob, the standard of the official military mind, is absolute. There are 1002 01:38:34.920 --> 01:38:44.039 no fine shades, No account of circumstance and temperament is allowed, and perhaps 1003 01:38:44.159 --> 01:38:49.079 this is inevitable. Most men would say that Harry's deed was a brave one. 1004 01:38:50.000 --> 01:38:56.560 I have said so myself, but I am not sure eighty to a 1005 01:38:56.680 --> 01:39:00.880 hundred yards from one section of our line was a small stretch of Turkish trench, 1006 01:39:01.720 --> 01:39:09.079 considerably in advance of their main line. From this trench, a particularly 1007 01:39:09.119 --> 01:39:14.840 harassing fire was kept up night and day, and the brigade staff considered that 1008 01:39:14.920 --> 01:39:20.479 it should be captured. High officers in shirt sleeves and red hats looked long 1009 01:39:20.520 --> 01:39:28.439 and wisely at it through periscopes. Colonels and adjutants, and subalterns and sergeants 1010 01:39:28.760 --> 01:39:34.399 stood silent and respectful while the great men pondered. The great men then turned 1011 01:39:34.479 --> 01:39:40.880 round with the air of those who make profound decisions, and announced that you 1012 01:39:40.920 --> 01:39:45.520 ought to be able to enfilade it from over there, or I suppose they 1013 01:39:45.760 --> 01:39:54.800 enfilade you from there. The term enfilade invariably occurred somewhere in these dicta and 1014 01:39:54.920 --> 01:39:59.439 in the listeners' minds. There stirred the suspicion that the great ones had not 1015 01:39:59.520 --> 01:40:04.119 been loo at the right trench, if indeed they had focused the unfamiliar instrument 1016 01:40:04.239 --> 01:40:10.960 so as to see anything at all. But the decision was made, and 1017 01:40:11.039 --> 01:40:15.279 for the purposes of a night attack, it was important to know whether the 1018 01:40:15.359 --> 01:40:20.319 trench was held strongly at night or occupied only by a few busy snipers. 1019 01:40:21.680 --> 01:40:28.960 Harry was ordered to reconnoiter the trench with two scouts. The night was pitch 1020 01:40:29.079 --> 01:40:34.039 black, with an unusual absence of stars. The worst of the rapid fire 1021 01:40:34.319 --> 01:40:39.640 was over, but there was a steady spit and crackle of bullets from the 1022 01:40:39.680 --> 01:40:45.560 Turks, and especially from the little trench opposite. Long afterwards, in France, 1023 01:40:46.159 --> 01:40:49.960 he told me that he would never again dream of going out on patrol 1024 01:40:50.439 --> 01:40:56.079 in the face of such a fire. But tonight it did not occur to 1025 01:40:56.159 --> 01:41:01.159 him to delay his expedition. The profession of scouting made a special appeal to 1026 01:41:01.199 --> 01:41:08.720 the romantic side of him. The prospect of some real practical scouting was exciting. 1027 01:41:09.800 --> 01:41:14.520 According to the books, much scouting was done under heavy fire. But 1028 01:41:14.640 --> 01:41:19.239 according to the books, and in the absence of any experience to the contrary, 1029 01:41:19.319 --> 01:41:26.199 it was probable that the careful scout would not be killed. Then why 1030 01:41:26.279 --> 01:41:31.079 waste time? All this I gathered indirectly from his account of the affair. 1031 01:41:32.439 --> 01:41:38.279 Two bullets smacked into the parapet by his head as he climbed out of the 1032 01:41:38.399 --> 01:41:43.800 dark sap and wriggled forward into the scrub. But even these did not give 1033 01:41:43.880 --> 01:41:48.119 him pause. Only while he lay and waited for the two men to follow 1034 01:41:48.560 --> 01:41:55.119 did he begin to realize how many bullets were flying about. The fire was 1035 01:41:55.239 --> 01:41:59.359 now really heavy. And when I heard that Harry had gone out, I 1036 01:41:59.479 --> 01:42:05.640 was afraid, But he, as yet was only faintly surprised the colonel had 1037 01:42:05.640 --> 01:42:11.279 sent him out. The colonel had said, the Turks fired high, and 1038 01:42:11.399 --> 01:42:15.199 if you kept low, you were quite safe. And he ought to know. 1039 01:42:15.520 --> 01:42:20.159 This was a regular thing in warfare, and must be done so. 1040 01:42:20.640 --> 01:42:28.880 Unlike reptiles into the darkness, dragging with hands and pushing with knees, progress 1041 01:42:28.920 --> 01:42:34.960 in the orthodox Scout fashion was surprisingly slow and exhausting. The scrub tickled and 1042 01:42:35.079 --> 01:42:41.399 scratched your face, The revolver in your hands caught in the roots. The 1043 01:42:41.520 --> 01:42:47.079 barrel must be choked with dust. Moreover, it was impossible to see anything 1044 01:42:47.119 --> 01:42:53.119 at all, and the object of a reconnaissance being to see something. This 1045 01:42:53.239 --> 01:42:58.920 was perplexing. Even when the frequent flares went up, and one lay pressed 1046 01:42:58.960 --> 01:43:02.520 to the earth, one's horizon was the edge of a tuft of scrub five 1047 01:43:02.600 --> 01:43:09.640 yards away. This always looked like the summit of some commanding height. But 1048 01:43:10.119 --> 01:43:16.039 laboring thither one saw by the next flare only another exactly similar horizon beyond. 1049 01:43:17.640 --> 01:43:23.760 So must the worm feel wandering in the rugged spaces of a well kept lawn. 1050 01:43:25.439 --> 01:43:30.239 It was long before Harry properly understood this phenomenon, and by then his 1051 01:43:30.399 --> 01:43:35.560 neck was stiff and aching from lying flat and craning his neck back to sea 1052 01:43:35.600 --> 01:43:42.560 in front. But after many hours of crawling, the ground sloped down a 1053 01:43:42.600 --> 01:43:46.800 little, and now they could see the sharp stabbing flashes from the rifles of 1054 01:43:46.840 --> 01:43:54.079 the snipers in the little trench ahead of them. Clearly they were only snipers, 1055 01:43:54.680 --> 01:43:59.399 for the flashes came from only eight or nine particular spots, spaced out 1056 01:43:59.479 --> 01:44:04.720 at intervals. Now the scouts glowed with a sense of achievement as they watched. 1057 01:44:06.079 --> 01:44:11.800 They had found out. Never again could Harry have lain like that, 1058 01:44:12.439 --> 01:44:17.319 naked in the face of those near rifles, coldly calculating and watching, without 1059 01:44:17.359 --> 01:44:24.560 an effort of real heroism. On this night he did it easily, confident, 1060 01:44:24.880 --> 01:44:30.359 unafraid. Elated with his little success, something prompted him to go farther 1061 01:44:30.479 --> 01:44:35.760 and confirm his deductions. He whispered to his men to lie down in a 1062 01:44:35.800 --> 01:44:42.000 fold of the ground, and crept forward to the very trench itself. Aiming 1063 01:44:42.079 --> 01:44:46.479 at a point midway between two flashes. There was no wire in front of 1064 01:44:46.520 --> 01:44:51.640 the trench, but as he saw the parapet looming like a mountain close ahead, 1065 01:44:53.520 --> 01:44:58.399 he began to realize what a mad fool he was, alone and helpless 1066 01:44:58.760 --> 01:45:02.039 within a yard of the Turks, an easy mark in the light of the 1067 01:45:02.079 --> 01:45:08.000 next flare, But he would not go back, and, squirming on, 1068 01:45:08.600 --> 01:45:14.000 worked his head into a gap in the parapet and gazed into a vast blackness. 1069 01:45:15.439 --> 01:45:19.760 This he did with a wild incautiousness, the patience of a true scout, 1070 01:45:19.880 --> 01:45:25.880 overcome by his anxiety to do what he intended as soon as possible. 1071 01:45:27.199 --> 01:45:31.960 The Turks' own rifles had drowned the noise of his movements, and providentially no 1072 01:45:32.159 --> 01:45:38.680 flare went up till his body was against the parapet. When at length the 1073 01:45:38.800 --> 01:45:44.600 faint, wavering light began and swelled into sudden brilliance. He could see right 1074 01:45:44.640 --> 01:45:48.439 into the trench, and when the shadows chased each other back into its depths. 1075 01:45:48.600 --> 01:45:55.159 As the light fell, he lay marveling at his own audacity. So 1076 01:45:55.279 --> 01:46:00.239 impressed was he by the wonder of his exploit that he was incapable of making 1077 01:46:00.279 --> 01:46:05.159 any intelligent observations other than the bald fact that there were no men in that 1078 01:46:05.279 --> 01:46:11.279 part of the trench. He was still waiting for another flare when there was 1079 01:46:11.319 --> 01:46:15.359 a burst of rapid fire from our own line a little to the right. 1080 01:46:15.680 --> 01:46:23.000 Suddenly he realized that Bee Company did not know he was out. C Company 1081 01:46:23.079 --> 01:46:27.720 knew, but in his haste he had forgotten to see that the others were 1082 01:46:27.760 --> 01:46:31.840 informed before he left, as he had arranged to do with the Colonel, 1083 01:46:32.680 --> 01:46:39.399 he and his scouts would be shot by b Company. Obsessed with this thought, 1084 01:46:39.920 --> 01:46:45.000 he turned and scrambled breathlessly back to the two waiting men. God knows 1085 01:46:45.039 --> 01:46:50.399 why he wasn't seen and sniped, and his retirement must have been very noisy, 1086 01:46:50.880 --> 01:46:56.000 for as he reached the others, all the snipers in the trench opened 1087 01:46:56.079 --> 01:47:01.399 fire feverishly. Together, Harry and his men, who were cold with waiting, 1088 01:47:02.039 --> 01:47:09.279 wriggled blindly back. They no longer pretended to any deliberation or cunning, 1089 01:47:09.800 --> 01:47:15.159 but having come to no harm so far, were not seriously anxious about themselves. 1090 01:47:15.279 --> 01:47:20.279 Only it seemed good to go back now. But after a few yards 1091 01:47:20.520 --> 01:47:26.359 one of the men, Trouer, gave a scream of agony and cried out, 1092 01:47:26.920 --> 01:47:32.119 I'm hit, I'm hit. In that moment, Harry told me all 1093 01:47:32.199 --> 01:47:38.560 the elation and pride of his exploit ebbed out of him, a sick disgust 1094 01:47:38.640 --> 01:47:43.600 with himself, and everything came over him. Williams, the other scout, 1095 01:47:44.039 --> 01:47:48.079 lay between him and Trouer, who was now moaning horribly in the darkness. 1096 01:47:49.279 --> 01:47:56.479 For a moment, Harry was paralyzed. He lay there saying feebly, where 1097 01:47:56.479 --> 01:48:00.319 are you hit? Where is he hit? Williams? Where are you hit? 1098 01:48:02.119 --> 01:48:06.720 When at last he got to his side, the man was almost unconscious 1099 01:48:06.720 --> 01:48:14.399 with pain, but he had managed to screech out both legs. In fact, 1100 01:48:14.560 --> 01:48:18.000 he had been shot through the femoral artery and one leg was broken. 1101 01:48:19.199 --> 01:48:25.520 In that blackness, skilled hands would have had difficulty in bandaging any wound. 1102 01:48:26.159 --> 01:48:30.239 Harry and Williams could not even tell where his wound was, for all his 1103 01:48:30.399 --> 01:48:35.880 legs were wet and sticky with blood. But both of them were fumbling and 1104 01:48:36.039 --> 01:48:43.399 scratching at their field dressings for some moments before they realized this. Then they 1105 01:48:43.439 --> 01:48:48.319 started to take the man in half, dragging half, carrying him at every 1106 01:48:48.359 --> 01:48:55.119 movement. The man shrieked in agony when they stood up to carry him bodily. 1107 01:48:55.680 --> 01:49:00.239 He screamed so piercingly that the storm of bullets was immediately doubled about them. 1108 01:49:01.399 --> 01:49:06.239 When they laid down and dragged him, he screamed less, but progress 1109 01:49:06.439 --> 01:49:12.960 was impossibly slow. And now it seemed that there were turks in the open 1110 01:49:13.039 --> 01:49:17.239 scrub about them, for there were flashes and a loud reports at strangely close 1111 01:49:17.359 --> 01:49:24.920 quarters. The turks could not see the miserable little party, but Trouer's screams 1112 01:49:24.960 --> 01:49:30.520 were an easy guide. Then Harry bethought him of the little medical case in 1113 01:49:30.600 --> 01:49:35.840 his breast pocket, where with needles and aspirin and plaster and pills, was 1114 01:49:35.880 --> 01:49:43.399 a small file of morphine tablets. For Trauer's sake and their own. His 1115 01:49:43.560 --> 01:49:48.680 screaming must be stilled. Tearing open his pocket, he fumbled at the elastic 1116 01:49:48.760 --> 01:49:55.000 band around the case. The little file was smaller than the rest. He 1117 01:49:55.119 --> 01:50:00.640 knew where it lay, but the case was upside down. All the files 1118 01:50:00.800 --> 01:50:05.439 seemed the same size. Trembling, he pulled out the cork and shook out 1119 01:50:05.520 --> 01:50:11.279 one of the tablets into his hand. A bullet cracked like a whip over 1120 01:50:11.359 --> 01:50:16.039 his head. The tablet fell in the scrub. He got another out and 1121 01:50:16.159 --> 01:50:21.880 passed it over to Williams. Williams's hand was shaking, and he dropped it. 1122 01:50:24.000 --> 01:50:30.520 Harry groaned. The next two were safely transferred and pressed into Trower's mouth. 1123 01:50:30.800 --> 01:50:35.520 He did not know how strong they were, but he remembered vaguely seeing 1124 01:50:35.880 --> 01:50:41.880 one or two on the label, and at that black moment, the phrase 1125 01:50:41.960 --> 01:50:48.199 came curiously into his head, as ordered by the doctor. Trower was quieter 1126 01:50:48.399 --> 01:50:54.640 now, and this made the other two a little calmer. Harry told me 1127 01:50:54.720 --> 01:50:58.920 he was now so cool that he could put the file back carefully in the 1128 01:50:59.039 --> 01:51:03.680 case and turned them to his pocket. Even from sheer force of habit, 1129 01:51:04.000 --> 01:51:10.279 he buttoned up the pocket. But when they moved off, they realized with 1130 01:51:10.319 --> 01:51:15.520 a new horror that they were lost. They had come out originally from the 1131 01:51:15.560 --> 01:51:19.520 head of a long sap. In the darkness and the excitement, they had 1132 01:51:19.560 --> 01:51:26.720 lost all sense of direction and had missed the sap. Probably they were not 1133 01:51:26.880 --> 01:51:30.680 more than fifty yards from friends, but they might be moving parallel to the 1134 01:51:30.720 --> 01:51:35.039 sap, or parallel to the front line, and that way they might go 1135 01:51:35.119 --> 01:51:42.800 on indefinitely. They could not drag their wretched burden with them indefinitely, so 1136 01:51:43.199 --> 01:51:47.560 Harry sent Williams to find the trench and lay throbbing by the wounded man. 1137 01:51:49.359 --> 01:51:54.399 No one who has not been lost in the pitchy dark and no man's land 1138 01:51:55.079 --> 01:52:00.439 can understand how easy it is to arrive at that condition, and the intense 1139 01:52:00.520 --> 01:52:06.359 feeling of helplessness it produces. That solitary weight of Harry's must have been terrible, 1140 01:52:08.319 --> 01:52:14.079 for he had time now to ponder his position. Perhaps Williams would not 1141 01:52:14.199 --> 01:52:19.239 find the trench, Perhaps he too would be hit. Perhaps he would not 1142 01:52:19.319 --> 01:52:24.199 be able to find the scouts again. What should they do? Then? 1143 01:52:25.640 --> 01:52:30.520 Anything was possible in this awful darkness, with these bullets cracking and tearing about 1144 01:52:30.600 --> 01:52:39.239 him, Perhaps he would be killed himself. Straining his ears, he fancied 1145 01:52:39.239 --> 01:52:44.319 he could hear the rustle of creeping men any moment. He expected a rending 1146 01:52:44.439 --> 01:52:48.720 blow on his own tender body. But his revolver had been dropped, and 1147 01:52:48.800 --> 01:52:55.119 the dragging of trour he could do nothing, only try to bind up the 1148 01:52:55.159 --> 01:53:00.560 poor legs. Again, poor Harry. As he lay there bandaging his scout, 1149 01:53:00.960 --> 01:53:04.439 he noticed that the lad had stopped moaning, and said to himself that 1150 01:53:04.520 --> 01:53:12.079 his morphine tablets had done their work. That was something, anyhow, But 1151 01:53:12.560 --> 01:53:16.800 the man was already dead. He could not have lived for ten minutes, 1152 01:53:17.000 --> 01:53:24.279 the doctor told me. And when Williams at last returned, trailing a long 1153 01:53:24.399 --> 01:53:28.960 string from the sap, it was a dead man. They brought painfully into 1154 01:53:29.000 --> 01:53:33.680 the trench and handed over gently to the stretcher bearers. I was in the 1155 01:53:33.720 --> 01:53:39.920 sap when they came and dragged Harry away from it, and when they told 1156 01:53:40.000 --> 01:53:47.079 him he nearly cried. The other incident is briefly told. On our last 1157 01:53:47.199 --> 01:53:53.359 day in the line, Harry's platoon were working stealthily in the hot sun at 1158 01:53:53.399 --> 01:53:59.640 a new section of trench connecting two SAPs, and someone incautiously threw a little 1159 01:53:59.720 --> 01:54:04.920 new turned earth over the parapet. The Turks, who seldom molested any of 1160 01:54:04.960 --> 01:54:11.439 the regular established trenches with shell fire, but hotly resented the making of new 1161 01:54:11.479 --> 01:54:15.800 ones, opened fire with a light, high velocity gun of the whiz bang 1162 01:54:15.880 --> 01:54:23.159 type. This was our first experience of the weapon, and the first experience 1163 01:54:23.199 --> 01:54:29.039 of a whiz bang is very disturbing. The long shriek of the ordinary shell 1164 01:54:29.239 --> 01:54:34.880 encourages the usually futile hope that by ducking one may avoid destruction. With the 1165 01:54:34.960 --> 01:54:41.399 whiz bang, there is no hope for there is no warning. The sound 1166 01:54:41.520 --> 01:54:47.279 and the shell arrive almost simultaneously. Harry's platoon did not like these things. 1167 01:54:48.479 --> 01:54:54.279 The first three burst near but short of the trench, filling the air with 1168 01:54:54.439 --> 01:55:01.479 fumes. The fourth hit and removed most of the parapet one bay. Harry, 1169 01:55:01.760 --> 01:55:06.720 hurrying along to the place, found the four men there considerably surprised, 1170 01:55:08.039 --> 01:55:14.920 crouching in the corners and gazing stupidly at the yawning gap. It was undesirable, 1171 01:55:15.119 --> 01:55:19.720 if not impossible, to rebuild the parapet during daylight, so he moved 1172 01:55:19.760 --> 01:55:25.439 them into the next bay. He then went along the trench to see that 1173 01:55:25.520 --> 01:55:30.399 all the men had ceased work. He heard two more shells burst behind him. 1174 01:55:30.439 --> 01:55:35.720 As he went on his way back, two men rushing round a corner, 1175 01:55:36.560 --> 01:55:43.079 two men with white faces smeared with black and a little blood, almost 1176 01:55:43.239 --> 01:55:47.960 knocked him down. They were speechless. He went through the bay which had 1177 01:55:47.960 --> 01:55:54.840 been blown in. It was silent empty. The bay beyond was silent, 1178 01:55:54.920 --> 01:56:00.359 too, save for the buzzing of a thousand flies in it. He had 1179 01:56:00.439 --> 01:56:06.479 left eight men, Six of them were lying dead, two had marvelously escaped. 1180 01:56:08.680 --> 01:56:14.239 The first whiz bang had blown away the parapet. The second following immediately 1181 01:56:14.279 --> 01:56:19.960 after, had passed miraculously through the hole straight into the trench. A piece 1182 01:56:20.000 --> 01:56:27.079 of astounding bad luck or good gunnery. The men could not be buried till 1183 01:56:27.159 --> 01:56:31.600 dusk, and we left them there. Two hours later, as we sat 1184 01:56:31.680 --> 01:56:38.039 under a waterproof sheet and talked quietly of this thing, there came an engineer 1185 01:56:38.119 --> 01:56:44.680 officer wandering along the trench. He had come crouching through those two shattered and 1186 01:56:44.800 --> 01:56:50.399 yawning bays. He was hot and very angry. Why the hell don't you 1187 01:56:50.439 --> 01:56:55.880 bury those turks? He said, They must have been there for weeks. 1188 01:56:57.479 --> 01:57:01.479 This is the kind of charge which infuriates the soldier at any time. And 1189 01:57:01.600 --> 01:57:06.600 we did not like the added suggestion that those six good men of the fourteenth 1190 01:57:06.640 --> 01:57:14.239 Platoon were dead Turks. We told him they were Englishmen, dead two hours. 1191 01:57:15.920 --> 01:57:20.800 But my god, man, he said, they're black. We led 1192 01:57:20.880 --> 01:57:27.680 him back, incredulous to the place. When we got there, we understood, 1193 01:57:29.000 --> 01:57:32.720 whether from the explosion or the scorching sun in that airless place, I 1194 01:57:32.840 --> 01:57:39.560 know not, but those six men were, as he said, literally black, 1195 01:57:40.359 --> 01:57:46.640 black and reeking and hideous, and the flies. Harry and I crouched 1196 01:57:46.680 --> 01:57:53.199 at the end of the bay truly unable to believe our eyes. I hope 1197 01:57:53.239 --> 01:57:58.960 I may never again see such horror as was in Harry's face. They were 1198 01:57:59.079 --> 01:58:04.680 his platoon, and he knew them as an officer should. After the explosion, 1199 01:58:05.079 --> 01:58:11.640 there had been only four whom he could definitely identify. Now there was 1200 01:58:11.760 --> 01:58:18.520 not one in two hours. I do not wish to labor this or any 1201 01:58:18.560 --> 01:58:27.000 similar episode. I have seen many worse things every soldier has in a man's 1202 01:58:27.079 --> 01:58:30.920 history. They are important only in their effect upon him, and the effect 1203 01:58:30.960 --> 01:58:36.720 they have is determined by many things, by his experience, and his health 1204 01:58:38.319 --> 01:58:43.439 and his state of mind. But if you are to understand what I may 1205 01:58:43.479 --> 01:58:47.199 call the battle psychology of a man, as I want you to understand Harry's, 1206 01:58:47.920 --> 01:58:54.560 you must not ignore particular incidents. For in this respect, the lives 1207 01:58:54.560 --> 01:59:00.159 of soldiers are not uniform. Though many may live in the same regiment and 1208 01:59:00.319 --> 01:59:04.800 fight in the same battles, the experiences which matter come to them diversely, 1209 01:59:05.640 --> 01:59:14.279 to some crowded and overwhelming, to some by kind and delicate degrees, and 1210 01:59:14.479 --> 01:59:20.399 so do their spirits develop. These two incidents, following so closely upon each 1211 01:59:20.439 --> 01:59:27.640 other, had a most unhappy cumulative effect on Harry. His night scouting, 1212 01:59:27.920 --> 01:59:32.760 in spite of its miserable end, had not perceptibly dimmed his romantic outlook. 1213 01:59:33.720 --> 01:59:38.600 It had been an adventure, and from a military point of view, a 1214 01:59:38.680 --> 01:59:45.560 successful adventure. The colonel had been pleased with the reconnaissance as such, but 1215 01:59:45.680 --> 01:59:50.319 the sight of his six poor men lying black and beastly in that sunlit hole 1216 01:59:50.680 --> 01:59:57.840 had killed the romance of war for him. Henceforth it must be a necessary 1217 01:59:58.000 --> 02:00:03.079 but disgusting business to he endured like a dunghill. But this, in the 1218 02:00:03.239 --> 02:00:09.760 end, was inevitable with all soldiers. It is only a matter of time, 1219 02:00:10.319 --> 02:00:14.560 though for a boy of Harry's temperament it was an ill chance that it 1220 02:00:14.600 --> 02:00:20.720 should come so soon. What was more serious was this, the two incidents 1221 02:00:20.760 --> 02:00:27.439 had revived, in a most malignant form, his old distrust of his own 1222 02:00:27.520 --> 02:00:33.920 competence. I found that he was brooding over this, accusing himself quite wrongly, 1223 02:00:34.119 --> 02:00:40.920 I think of being responsible for the death of seven men. He had 1224 02:00:40.960 --> 02:00:46.760 bungled the scouting. He had recklessly attracted attention to the party and trour not 1225 02:00:47.000 --> 02:00:53.399 he had paid for it. He had moved four men into a bay where 1226 02:00:53.479 --> 02:00:59.279 four others already were, and six of them had been killed. I tried 1227 02:00:59.439 --> 02:01:03.920 hard to persuade him, not quite honestly, that he had done absolutely the 1228 02:01:04.000 --> 02:01:11.239 right thing in scouting, of all things. I told him a man must 1229 02:01:11.239 --> 02:01:15.319 take chances. And the matter of the two whiz bangs was sheer bad luck. 1230 02:01:16.479 --> 02:01:23.399 It was no good. He was a fool, a failure. Unconsciously, 1231 02:01:23.680 --> 02:01:29.319 the Colonel encouraged this attitude, for, thinking that Harry's nerve might well 1232 02:01:29.359 --> 02:01:32.600 have been shaken by his first experience, he would not let him go out 1233 02:01:32.640 --> 02:01:38.800 on patrol again on our next tour in the line. I think he was 1234 02:01:38.920 --> 02:01:43.520 quite mistaken in this view, for the boy did not even seem to realize 1235 02:01:43.560 --> 02:01:47.840 how narrow his own escapes had been, so concerned was he about his lost 1236 02:01:47.920 --> 02:01:54.880 men. Nor did this explanation of the Colonel's veto even occur to him. 1237 02:01:55.920 --> 02:02:00.840 Rather, it confirmed him in his distrust of himself, for it seemed to 1238 02:02:00.920 --> 02:02:04.920 him that the Colonel two must look upon him as a bungler, a waster 1239 02:02:05.079 --> 02:02:12.520 of men's lives. All this was very bad, and I was much afraid 1240 02:02:12.560 --> 02:02:17.319 of what the reaction might be. But there was one bright spot. So 1241 02:02:17.359 --> 02:02:23.720 far, he only distrusted his military capacity. There was no sign of his 1242 02:02:23.880 --> 02:02:31.319 distrusting his own courage. I prayed that that might not follow. End of 1243 02:02:31.399 --> 02:02:45.720 Chapter four recording by Roger Maline. Chapter five of the Secret Battle by A. 1244 02:02:45.960 --> 02:02:53.159 P. Herbert. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording 1245 02:02:53.199 --> 02:03:00.239 by Roger Maline. Mid June came, with all its plagues and fevers and 1246 02:03:00.399 --> 02:03:08.199 irritable distresses. Life in the rest camp became daily more intolerable. There set 1247 02:03:08.239 --> 02:03:13.159 in a steady wind from the northeast, which blew all day down the flayed 1248 02:03:13.199 --> 02:03:18.039 rest areas of the peninsula, raising great columns of blinding, maddening dust. 1249 02:03:19.199 --> 02:03:25.119 It was a hot, parching wind which in no way mitigated the scorch of 1250 02:03:25.159 --> 02:03:30.279 the sun, and the dust it brought became a definite enemy to human peace. 1251 02:03:30.920 --> 02:03:36.720 It pervaded everything, It poured into every hole and dugout, and filtered 1252 02:03:36.760 --> 02:03:43.680 into every man's belongings. It formed a gritty sediment in water and tea. 1253 02:03:43.960 --> 02:03:47.920 It passed into a man with every morsel of food he ate and scraped and 1254 02:03:48.079 --> 02:03:53.840 tore at his inside. It covered his pipe so that he could not even 1255 02:03:53.880 --> 02:03:58.640 smoke with pleasure. It lay in a thick coating on his face, so 1256 02:03:58.720 --> 02:04:02.159 that he looked like a wan ghost, paler than disease had made him. 1257 02:04:03.319 --> 02:04:09.800 It made the cleaning of his rifle a too frequent farce. It worked under 1258 02:04:09.840 --> 02:04:14.840 his breeches and gathered at the back of his knees, chafing and torturing him. 1259 02:04:15.600 --> 02:04:18.159 And if he laid down to sleep in his hole, it swept in 1260 02:04:18.279 --> 02:04:25.920 billows over his face, or men passing clumsily above kicked great showers upon him. 1261 02:04:27.039 --> 02:04:31.119 Sleep was not possible in the rest camps while that wind blew. But 1262 02:04:31.279 --> 02:04:38.279 indeed there were many things which made rest in the rest camps impossible. Few 1263 02:04:38.319 --> 02:04:45.000 more terrible plagues can have afflicted British troops than the flies of Gallipoli in May. 1264 02:04:45.279 --> 02:04:49.359 By comparison, there were none. In June. They became unbearable. 1265 02:04:49.880 --> 02:04:57.800 In July they were literally inconceivable. Most Englishmen have lain down some gentle summer 1266 02:04:57.880 --> 02:05:01.800 day to doze on a shaded lawn, and found that one or two persistent 1267 02:05:01.880 --> 02:05:08.800 flies have destroyed the repose of the afternoon. Many women have turned sick at 1268 02:05:08.800 --> 02:05:14.239 the sight of a blowfly in their butcher's shop. Let them imagine a semi 1269 02:05:14.239 --> 02:05:18.920 tropical sun in a place where there is little or no shade, where sanitary 1270 02:05:19.000 --> 02:05:25.600 arrangements are less than primitive. Where in spite of all precautions, there are 1271 02:05:25.680 --> 02:05:30.880 scraps of bacon and sugar and tea leaves lying everywhere in the dust, and 1272 02:05:30.039 --> 02:05:35.199 every man has his little daily store of food somewhere near him. Where there 1273 02:05:35.239 --> 02:05:42.479 are dead bodies and the carcasses of mules easily accessible to the least venturesome fly. 1274 02:05:43.800 --> 02:05:47.479 Let them read for one fly a hundred, a thousand, a million, 1275 02:05:48.279 --> 02:05:55.279 and even then they will not exaggerate the horror of that plague. Under 1276 02:05:55.319 --> 02:06:00.600 it, the disadvantages of a sensitive nature and a delicate upbringing were easy to 1277 02:06:00.680 --> 02:06:05.079 see. An officer lies down in the afternoon to sleep in his hole. 1278 02:06:05.920 --> 02:06:12.720 The flies cluster on his face. Patiently. At first, he brushes them 1279 02:06:12.760 --> 02:06:17.479 away with a drill like mechanical movement of his hand. By and by he 1280 02:06:17.560 --> 02:06:24.359 does it angrily. His temper is going. He covers his face with a 1281 02:06:24.439 --> 02:06:30.359 handkerchief. It is distressingly hot, but at least he may have some rest. 1282 02:06:30.840 --> 02:06:33.920 The flies settle on his hand, on his neck, on the bare 1283 02:06:33.960 --> 02:06:39.680 part of his leg. Even there, the feel of them is becoming a 1284 02:06:39.720 --> 02:06:45.199 genuine torment. They creep under the handkerchief. There is one on his lip, 1285 02:06:45.560 --> 02:06:49.800 another buzzing about his eye. Madly. He tears off the handkerchief and 1286 02:06:49.920 --> 02:06:57.600 lashes out, waving it furiously till the air is free. The flies gather 1287 02:06:57.720 --> 02:07:00.800 on the wall of the dugout, on the to proof sheet and watch. 1288 02:07:02.000 --> 02:07:06.800 They are waiting, motionless till he lies down again. He throws his coat 1289 02:07:06.920 --> 02:07:14.319 over his bare knees and lies back. The torment begins again. It is 1290 02:07:14.439 --> 02:07:19.000 unendurable. He gets up, cursing, and goes out. Better to walk 1291 02:07:19.039 --> 02:07:23.840 in the hot sun, or sit under the olive tree in the windy dust. 1292 02:07:25.439 --> 02:07:29.359 But look into the crowded ditches of the men. Some of them are 1293 02:07:29.399 --> 02:07:34.000 fighting the same fight, hands moving and faces twitching like the flesh of horses 1294 02:07:34.119 --> 02:07:41.000 automatically. But most of them lie still, not asleep, but in a 1295 02:07:41.119 --> 02:07:47.439 kind of dogged artificial insensibility. The flies crowd on their faces, they swarm 1296 02:07:47.560 --> 02:07:54.680 about their eyes, and crawl unmolested about their open mouths. It is a 1297 02:07:54.720 --> 02:08:00.920 horrible sight, but those men are lucky. Then there was always a great 1298 02:08:01.000 --> 02:08:05.279 noise in the camp, for men would be called for from headquarters at the 1299 02:08:05.439 --> 02:08:09.239 end of it, or orders passed down. And so great was the wind, 1300 02:08:09.319 --> 02:08:15.479 and the noise of the French guns and the Turkish shells that these messages 1301 02:08:15.520 --> 02:08:20.920 had to be baled from man to man. The men grew lazy from sheer 1302 02:08:20.000 --> 02:08:26.199 weariness of these messages, so that they were mutilated as they came and had 1303 02:08:26.239 --> 02:08:31.640 to be repeated, and there was this babble always. The men, too, 1304 02:08:31.840 --> 02:08:37.840 like the officers, became irritable with each other and wrangled incessantly over little 1305 02:08:37.880 --> 02:08:45.359 things. Only the officers argued quietly and bitterly, and the men shouted oaths 1306 02:08:45.359 --> 02:08:50.680 at each other and filthy epithets. There was only a yard between the holes 1307 02:08:50.760 --> 02:08:54.840 of the officers and the holes of the men, and their raucous quarreling grated 1308 02:08:54.840 --> 02:09:00.960 on nerves already sensitive from the trials of the day, and the officer came 1309 02:09:01.039 --> 02:09:05.439 near to cursing his own men, and that is bad. So there was 1310 02:09:05.479 --> 02:09:09.399 no rest to be had in the camp during the day, and at night 1311 02:09:09.520 --> 02:09:16.039 we marched out in long columns to dig in the whispering gullies or unload ships 1312 02:09:16.079 --> 02:09:20.279 on the beach. There were many of these parties, and we were much 1313 02:09:20.359 --> 02:09:26.800 overworked, as all infantry units invariably are. And only at long intervals there 1314 02:09:26.800 --> 02:09:31.520 came an evening when a man might lie down under the perfect stars and sleep 1315 02:09:31.640 --> 02:09:39.840 all night. Undisturbed. Then indeed he had rest, and when he woke 1316 02:09:39.920 --> 02:09:45.079 to a sudden burst of shelfire, lay quiet in his hole, too tired 1317 02:09:45.159 --> 02:09:50.720 and dreamy to be afraid. Dust and flies, and the food and the 1318 02:09:50.760 --> 02:09:56.279 water, and our weakness joined forces against us, and dysentery raged among us. 1319 02:09:58.760 --> 02:10:01.720 There were many who had never heard of the disease, and thought vaguely 1320 02:10:01.760 --> 02:10:07.000 of the distemper of dogs. Those who had heard of it thought of it 1321 02:10:07.039 --> 02:10:13.439 as something rather romantically Eastern, like the seats he fly. And the first 1322 02:10:13.520 --> 02:10:18.199 cases were invested with a certain mysterious distinction, especially as most of them were 1323 02:10:18.239 --> 02:10:26.159 sent away. But it became universal. Everybody had it, and everybody could 1324 02:10:26.199 --> 02:10:31.000 not be sent away. One man in a thousand went through that time untouched, 1325 02:10:31.800 --> 02:10:39.239 one in ten escaped with a slight attack. But the remainder lived permanently 1326 02:10:39.439 --> 02:10:45.199 or intermittently, in a condition which in any normal campaign would have long since 1327 02:10:45.319 --> 02:10:50.079 sent them on stretchers to the base. The men could not be spared. 1328 02:10:50.920 --> 02:10:56.560 They stayed and endured and tottered at their work. Thus there was every circumstance 1329 02:10:56.600 --> 02:11:03.960 to encourage infection, and little to resisted. One by one, the officers 1330 02:11:03.000 --> 02:11:09.560 of d Company were stricken. The first stages were mildly unpleasant, encouraging that 1331 02:11:09.680 --> 02:11:16.640 comfortable sense of martyrdom which belongs to a recognized but endurable complaint. As it 1332 02:11:16.720 --> 02:11:22.319 grew worse, men became querulous, but were still interested in themselves, and 1333 02:11:22.479 --> 02:11:30.159 those not in the final stages discussed their symptoms emulously, disgustingly, still a 1334 02:11:30.199 --> 02:11:35.199 little anxious to be worse than their fellows. In the worst stage, there 1335 02:11:35.279 --> 02:11:41.680 was no emulation, only a dull misery of recurrent pain and lassitude, and 1336 02:11:41.840 --> 02:11:46.920 discussed. A man could not touch the coarse food, which was all we 1337 02:11:46.039 --> 02:11:52.760 had, or if from sheer emptiness he did, his sufferings were immediately magnified. 1338 02:11:54.960 --> 02:12:00.079 Yet always he had a wild craving for delicate food, and as he 1339 02:12:00.119 --> 02:12:05.640 turned from the sickening bacons in the gritty lid of his mess tin conjured bright 1340 02:12:05.800 --> 02:12:09.840 visions of lovely dainties which might satisfy his longing and give him back his strength. 1341 02:12:11.520 --> 02:12:16.439 So men prayed for parcels, But when they came, or when some 1342 02:12:16.560 --> 02:12:22.680 wanderer came back from the islands with a basket of Grecian eggs, too often 1343 02:12:22.720 --> 02:12:26.680 it was too late for the sickest men, and their agonies were only increased. 1344 02:12:28.000 --> 02:12:35.439 Scientific dieting was impossible. They could only struggle on, forever sick, 1345 02:12:35.880 --> 02:12:41.119 yet forever on duty. This was the awful thing. When a man reached 1346 02:12:41.199 --> 02:12:46.199 this stage. The army was lucky. Indeed, if it did not lose 1347 02:12:46.319 --> 02:12:52.079 him, he was lucky himself if he did not die. But so strong 1348 02:12:52.239 --> 02:12:56.760 is the human spirit, and so patient the human body that most won through 1349 02:12:56.760 --> 02:13:03.199 this phase to a spasmodic exist distance of alternate sickness and precarious health. And 1350 02:13:03.359 --> 02:13:09.319 when they said to themselves, I am well and ate heartily, and said 1351 02:13:09.319 --> 02:13:13.960 to their companions this and that is what you should do, the disease gripped 1352 02:13:15.000 --> 02:13:20.199 them again, each time more violently. All this sapped the strength of a 1353 02:13:20.279 --> 02:13:26.600 man, and finally there came a terrible debility, a kind of paralyzing lassitude, 1354 02:13:26.920 --> 02:13:31.840 when it needed a genuine flogging of the will for him to lift himself 1355 02:13:31.079 --> 02:13:37.119 and walk across the camp, and his knees seemed permanently feeble, as if 1356 02:13:37.159 --> 02:13:43.760 a fever had just left him. Yet many endured this condition for weeks and 1357 02:13:43.960 --> 02:13:50.479 months till the fever definitely took them. Some became so weak that, while 1358 02:13:50.520 --> 02:13:54.199 they still tottered up to the line and about their duties. They could not 1359 02:13:54.359 --> 02:14:01.479 gratuitously drag themselves to the beach to bathe, then, indeed, were they 1360 02:14:01.520 --> 02:14:07.399 far gone, for the evening swims were the few paradisial moments of that time. 1361 02:14:07.560 --> 02:14:11.279 When the sun had but an hour to live, and the wind and 1362 02:14:11.359 --> 02:14:16.720 the dust and the flies were already dwindling, we climbed down a cliff path 1363 02:14:16.920 --> 02:14:22.199 where the Indians kept their sacred but odorous goats. There was a fringe of 1364 02:14:22.319 --> 02:14:28.119 rocks under the cliffs where we could dive. There we undressed, hut and 1365 02:14:28.239 --> 02:14:35.399 grimy, lousy, thirsty and tired along the rocks. Solitary Indians were kneeling 1366 02:14:35.439 --> 02:14:41.640 towards Mecca. Some of the old battered boats of the first landing were still 1367 02:14:41.720 --> 02:14:46.279 nosing the shore, and at a safe distance was a dead mule. The 1368 02:14:46.399 --> 02:14:52.359 troops did not come here, but waded noisily in the shallow water. So 1369 02:14:52.600 --> 02:14:58.199 all was quiet, save for an occasional lazy shell from Asia and the chunk 1370 02:14:58.319 --> 02:15:03.640 chunk of a patrol boat. The sea at this hour put on its most 1371 02:15:03.720 --> 02:15:09.720 perfect blue, and the foothills across the straits were all warm and twinkling in 1372 02:15:09.760 --> 02:15:15.520 the late sun. So we sat and drank in the strengthening breeze, and 1373 02:15:15.680 --> 02:15:20.880 felt the clean air on our contaminated flesh, and plunging luxuriously into the lovely 1374 02:15:20.960 --> 02:15:28.000 water, forgot for a magical moment all our weariness and disgust. When a 1375 02:15:28.039 --> 02:15:35.640 man could not do this, he was ill indeed, And by this time 1376 02:15:35.760 --> 02:15:39.600 we had found each other out. We had discovered a true standard of right 1377 02:15:39.680 --> 02:15:45.479 and wrong. We knew quite clearly now, some of us for the first 1378 02:15:45.520 --> 02:15:50.680 time, what sort of action was dirty, and we were fairly clear how 1379 02:15:50.760 --> 02:15:54.760 likely each of us was to do such an action. We knew all our 1380 02:15:54.800 --> 02:16:01.840 little weaknesses and most of our serious flaws under that olive tree that could not 1381 02:16:01.000 --> 02:16:07.039 long be hid in the pleasant life of London or Oxford. We had had 1382 02:16:07.079 --> 02:16:13.399 no occasion to do anything dishonorable or underhand in our relations with other men. 1383 02:16:13.600 --> 02:16:18.640 We had not even wished to be guilty of anything worse than mild unkindness or 1384 02:16:18.760 --> 02:16:28.680 consistent unpunctuality. But behind the footlights of Gallipoli we had found real burning temptations, 1385 02:16:28.560 --> 02:16:35.559 and we had found our characters. D company on the whole was lucky 1386 02:16:35.600 --> 02:16:41.440 and had stood the test well. We knew that Burnett was bogus but we 1387 02:16:41.520 --> 02:16:46.879 knew that Williams of a company was incalculably more bogus. We had stood in 1388 02:16:46.879 --> 02:16:52.000 the dark sap at night and reluctantly overheard the men of his company speak of 1389 02:16:52.120 --> 02:17:00.040 him and his officers. But little weaknesses beget great irritations in that life, 1390 02:17:00.120 --> 02:17:05.520 and the intimate problems of communal feeding were enough to search out all our weaknesses. 1391 02:17:05.760 --> 02:17:11.120 We knew that some of us, though courageous, were greedy, that 1392 02:17:11.200 --> 02:17:16.440 others, though not greedy, were querulous about their food and had a nasty 1393 02:17:16.520 --> 02:17:22.319 habit of sticking out for their rights. Indeed, I think I developed this 1394 02:17:22.479 --> 02:17:30.600 habit myself. We had had trouble about parcels. Parcels, in theory were 1395 02:17:30.639 --> 02:17:35.319 thrown into the common stock of the mess, but Egerton and Burnett never had 1396 02:17:35.440 --> 02:17:41.959 parcels, and were by no means the most delicate eaters of other people's dainties. 1397 02:17:43.719 --> 02:17:48.000 Harry and Hewitt reserved some portion of each parcel a cake or a slab 1398 02:17:48.040 --> 02:17:54.600 of chocolate, which they ate furtively in their dugouts, or shared with each 1399 02:17:54.600 --> 02:18:00.879 other in the dusk. Burnett ostentatiously endowed the mess with his entire stock, 1400 02:18:01.760 --> 02:18:05.840 but afterwards, at every meal hinted somberly at the rapacity of those who had 1401 02:18:05.840 --> 02:18:13.000 devoured it. Harry and Hewitt each made contributions to the mess, but Harry 1402 02:18:13.000 --> 02:18:18.479 objected to the excessive consumption of this food by Burnett, and Hewitt, who 1403 02:18:18.559 --> 02:18:24.280 gave ungrudgingly to the rest of us, had a similar reservation, never expressed 1404 02:18:24.959 --> 02:18:31.920 as against Egerton. So all this matter of food set in motion a number 1405 02:18:31.920 --> 02:18:39.159 of antagonisms, seldom or never articulate, but painfully perceptible at every meal. 1406 02:18:41.000 --> 02:18:43.959 The parcel question, I think, was one of the things which embittered the 1407 02:18:45.040 --> 02:18:50.639 quarrel between Harry and Burnett. A parcel from home to schoolboys and soldiers and 1408 02:18:50.840 --> 02:18:58.280 prisoners and sailors and all homesick exiles is the most powerful emblem of sentiment and 1409 02:18:58.399 --> 02:19:05.079 affection. A man would willingly preserve its treasures for himself to gloat over alone, 1410 02:19:05.559 --> 02:19:11.040 in no mere fleshly indulgence, but as a concrete expression of affection from 1411 02:19:11.040 --> 02:19:16.840 the home for which he longs. This is not nonsense. He likes to 1412 02:19:16.959 --> 02:19:22.159 undo the strings in the grubby hole which is his present home, and secretly 1413 02:19:22.200 --> 02:19:28.399 become sentimental over the little, fond packages and queer loving thoughts which have composed 1414 02:19:28.440 --> 02:19:35.760 it. And though in a generous impulse he may say to his companions, 1415 02:19:35.920 --> 02:19:41.440 come and eat this cake, and see it in a moment disappear, it 1416 02:19:41.559 --> 02:19:46.360 is hard for him not to think, my sister or a wife or mother 1417 02:19:46.000 --> 02:19:50.959 made this for me. They thought it would give me pleasure for many days. 1418 02:19:52.079 --> 02:19:56.360 Already it is gone. Would they not be hurt if they knew? 1419 02:19:58.520 --> 02:20:03.120 He feels that he has betrayed the tenderness of his home. And though the 1420 02:20:03.200 --> 02:20:11.239 giving of pleasure to companions he likes may overcome this feeling, the compulsory squandering 1421 02:20:11.280 --> 02:20:16.920 of such precious pleasure on a man he despises calls up the worst bitterness of 1422 02:20:16.000 --> 02:20:22.680 his heart. So was it between Harry and Burnett? If, by the 1423 02:20:22.760 --> 02:20:28.200 way it be suggested that Burnett was entitled to feel the same sentimental jealousy about 1424 02:20:28.239 --> 02:20:33.200 his parcels, I answer that Burnett's parcels came on his own order, from 1425 02:20:33.200 --> 02:20:39.440 the soulless hand of Fortnum and Mason. All of us were very touchy, 1426 02:20:41.000 --> 02:20:46.079 very raw, and irritable in that fevered atmosphere. Men who were always late 1427 02:20:46.159 --> 02:20:52.239 in relieving another on watch, or unreasonably resented a minute's postponement of their relief, 1428 02:20:52.840 --> 02:20:58.159 or never had any article of their own, but forever borrowed mess tins 1429 02:20:58.239 --> 02:21:05.760 and electric torches and notebooks from more methodical people, or were overbearing to batmen, 1430 02:21:07.440 --> 02:21:11.520 or shifted jobs on to other officers, or slunk off to baye loan 1431 02:21:11.719 --> 02:21:18.239 when they should have taken their sultry platoon. Such men made enemies quickly. 1432 02:21:18.840 --> 02:21:24.079 Between Eustace and Hewitt, who had been good friends before and were to be 1433 02:21:24.120 --> 02:21:31.479 good friends again, there grew up a slow animosity. Hewitt was one of 1434 02:21:31.520 --> 02:21:37.520 the methodical class of officer. Eustace was one of the persistent borrowers. Moreover, 1435 02:21:37.719 --> 02:21:43.440 as I have said, he was a cynic, and he would argue. 1436 02:21:43.000 --> 02:21:48.600 He had a contentious remark for every moment of the day. And though 1437 02:21:48.639 --> 02:21:52.680 this tormented us all beyond bearing, Hewett was the only one with both the 1438 02:21:52.879 --> 02:22:01.479 energy and the intellectual equipment to accept his challenges. So these two argued quietly 1439 02:22:01.559 --> 02:22:05.200 and fiercely in the hot noon or the blue dusk, till the rest of 1440 02:22:05.280 --> 02:22:11.559 us were weary of them both, and the sound of Eustace's harsh tones was 1441 02:22:11.639 --> 02:22:16.959 an agony to the nerves. They were both too consciously refined to lose their 1442 02:22:16.959 --> 02:22:22.799 tempers healthily, and when they reached danger point, Hewett would slink away, 1443 02:22:22.920 --> 02:22:28.920 like an injured animal to his burrow. In this conflict, Harry took no 1444 02:22:30.000 --> 02:22:35.280 speaking part, for while in spirit and affection he was on Hewett's side, 1445 02:22:35.200 --> 02:22:41.280 he paid intellectual tribute to Eustace's conduct of the argument and listened as a rule 1446 02:22:41.399 --> 02:22:50.360 in puzzled silence. Eustace again was his cordial ally against Burnett, while Hewett 1447 02:22:50.440 --> 02:22:56.319 had merely the indifference of contempt for that officer. So it was all a 1448 02:22:56.440 --> 02:23:01.680 strange tangle of friendship and animosity and goodness, nature and bitterness. Yet on 1449 02:23:01.760 --> 02:23:09.360 the surface you understand we lived on terms of toleration and vague geniality. Except 1450 02:23:09.399 --> 02:23:16.600 for the disputations of Hewitt and Eustace, there was little open disagreement. In 1451 02:23:16.680 --> 02:23:22.600 the confined space of a company mess permanent hostilities would make life impossible. It 1452 02:23:22.760 --> 02:23:26.479 is only generals who are allowed to find that they can no longer act with 1453 02:23:26.520 --> 02:23:33.120 each other and resign. Platoon commanders may come to the same conclusion, but 1454 02:23:33.239 --> 02:23:39.200 they have to go on acting. And so openly we laughed and endured and 1455 02:23:39.360 --> 02:23:46.639 bore with each other. Only there was always this undertone of irritations and animosities 1456 02:23:46.639 --> 02:23:52.159 which in the maddening conditions of our life, could never be altogether silenced, 1457 02:23:52.639 --> 02:24:00.479 and might at any moment rise to a strangled scream. Harry's appointment a Scout 1458 02:24:00.520 --> 02:24:05.239 officer was the first thing to set Burnett against Harry, though already many things 1459 02:24:05.239 --> 02:24:11.879 had set Harry against Burnett. It had been commonly assumed, in view of 1460 02:24:11.920 --> 02:24:18.040 Burnett's backwood's reputation, that he would succeed Martin as Scout officer. The Colonel's 1461 02:24:18.120 --> 02:24:24.000 selection of Harry took us a little by surprise, though it only showed that 1462 02:24:24.079 --> 02:24:28.200 the Colonel was a keener judge of character and ability than the rest of us. 1463 02:24:28.639 --> 02:24:33.799 No one, I think was more genuinely pleased that Burnett was not to 1464 02:24:33.840 --> 02:24:41.040 be Scout officer than Burnett himself, But in the interests of his daredevil pretensions, 1465 02:24:41.079 --> 02:24:45.239 he had to effect an air of disappointment and let it be known by 1466 02:24:45.319 --> 02:24:50.600 grunts and shrugs and sour looks that he considered the choice of Harry to be 1467 02:24:50.680 --> 02:24:56.040 an injury to himself and the regiment. As far as Harry was concerned, 1468 02:24:56.600 --> 02:25:01.200 this resentment of Burnett's was more or less genuine, for his reluctance to take 1469 02:25:01.239 --> 02:25:05.040 on the job did not prevent him being jealous of the man who did. 1470 02:25:07.719 --> 02:25:09.920 Then, Burnett was one of the people who had nothing of his own, 1471 02:25:11.360 --> 02:25:16.000 and seemed to regard Harry as the youngest of us all, as the proper 1472 02:25:16.040 --> 02:25:20.319 person to provide him with all the necessaries of life. In those days, 1473 02:25:20.360 --> 02:25:26.399 we had no plates or crockery, but ate and drank out of our scratched 1474 02:25:26.399 --> 02:25:31.799 and greasy mess tins. Harry's mess tin disappeared, and for three days he 1475 02:25:31.879 --> 02:25:39.319 was compelled to borrow from Hewett or myself, a tedious and to him hateful 1476 02:25:39.399 --> 02:25:43.719 business. One day, Burnett had finished his meal, a long way ahead 1477 02:25:43.719 --> 02:25:48.120 of any of us, and Harry, in the desperation of hungry waiting, 1478 02:25:48.879 --> 02:25:54.639 asked him for the loan of his mess tin. Automatically, he looked at 1479 02:25:54.680 --> 02:26:00.440 the bottom of the tin, and there found his initials inscribed. It was 1480 02:26:00.559 --> 02:26:05.360 his own tin. Further, some one had tried to scratch the initials out. 1481 02:26:07.120 --> 02:26:11.479 Harry kept his temper with obvious difficulty. Burnett knew well that he had 1482 02:26:11.520 --> 02:26:16.840 lost his mess tin. We were all sick of hearing it, but he 1483 02:26:16.879 --> 02:26:22.200 said he was quite ignorant of having it in his possession. When Harry argued 1484 02:26:22.239 --> 02:26:26.399 with him, Burnett sent for his batman and cursed him for taking another officer's 1485 02:26:26.399 --> 02:26:33.719 property. The wretched man mumbled that he had found it and withdrew, and 1486 02:26:33.840 --> 02:26:39.760 we all sat in silence, teeming with distrustful thoughts. We were sorry for 1487 02:26:39.840 --> 02:26:46.280 the batman. We were sorry for Harry. Burnett may not have taken the 1488 02:26:46.319 --> 02:26:50.360 mess tin with his own hands, but morally he stood convicted of an action 1489 02:26:50.440 --> 02:26:56.719 which was dirty. Then Burnett and Harry took a working party together to dig 1490 02:26:56.760 --> 02:27:03.200 in the gully. Burnett was the senior officer, but left Harry to work 1491 02:27:03.280 --> 02:27:07.280 all night in the whispering rain of stray bullets while he sat in an engineer's 1492 02:27:07.319 --> 02:27:13.440 dugout and drank whiskey. Harry did not object to this, the absence of 1493 02:27:13.479 --> 02:27:20.000 Burnette, being always congenial to him. But next day there came a complimentary 1494 02:27:20.040 --> 02:27:24.520 message from the Brigadier about the work of that working party. Burnett was sent 1495 02:27:24.600 --> 02:27:31.440 for and warmly praised by the Colonel. Burnett stood smugly and said nothing. 1496 02:27:31.639 --> 02:27:37.479 Harry, when he heard of it, was furious and wanted He said to 1497 02:27:37.559 --> 02:27:41.360 have a row with him. What he expected Burnett to say, I don't 1498 02:27:41.399 --> 02:27:48.360 know. The man could hardly stand before his colonel, and say, Sir 1499 02:27:48.680 --> 02:27:52.799 Penrose did all the work. I was in the engineer's dugout nearly all the 1500 02:27:52.879 --> 02:27:58.360 time with my friends, and had several drinks a row in any case would 1501 02:27:58.399 --> 02:28:03.520 be in tall hole in that cramped intimate existence. And I dissuaded Harry, 1502 02:28:05.280 --> 02:28:09.280 though I made Egerton have a few words with Burnett on the subject. Harry 1503 02:28:09.319 --> 02:28:16.040 contented himself with ironic comments on Burnett's gallantry and industry, asking him blandly at 1504 02:28:16.079 --> 02:28:22.479 meals if he expected to get his promotion over that working party, and suggesting 1505 02:28:22.479 --> 02:28:26.440 to Egerton that Burnett should take Harry's next turn of duty because he is so 1506 02:28:26.479 --> 02:28:33.319 good at it. This made Burnett beautifully angry, but it was bitter badnage, 1507 02:28:33.399 --> 02:28:39.879 and did not improve the social atmosphere. There were a number of such 1508 02:28:39.920 --> 02:28:45.159 incidents between the two. They were very pretty in themselves, some of them 1509 02:28:45.200 --> 02:28:50.520 like a fly, but in their cumulative effect very large and distressing. In 1510 02:28:50.559 --> 02:28:56.479 many cases there was no verbal engagement, or only an angry inarticulate mutter. 1511 02:28:58.879 --> 02:29:05.079 Public unfair angers were necessarily avoided. But this pent up, suppressed condition of 1512 02:29:05.120 --> 02:29:11.559 the quarrel made it more malignant, like a disease, and it got on 1513 02:29:11.680 --> 02:29:18.680 Harry's nerves. Indeed, it got on mine. It became an active element 1514 02:29:18.760 --> 02:29:24.200 in that vast complex of irritation and decay which was eating into his young system. 1515 02:29:24.239 --> 02:29:28.159 It was leagued with the flies and the dust, and the smells, 1516 02:29:28.559 --> 02:29:33.120 and the bad food, and the wind, and the harassing shells of the 1517 02:29:33.200 --> 02:29:39.879 Turks, and the disgustful torment of disease. For Harry was a very sick 1518 02:29:39.920 --> 02:29:46.600 man. He had endured through all the stages of dysentery, and now lived 1519 02:29:46.600 --> 02:29:50.639 with that awful legacy of weakness of which I have spoken. And the disease 1520 02:29:50.719 --> 02:29:56.280 had not wholly left him, But some days he lay faint, with excruciating 1521 02:29:56.360 --> 02:30:03.520 spasms of pain. Slightly built and constitutionally fragile at the beginning, he was 1522 02:30:03.639 --> 02:30:07.319 now a mere, wasted wisp of a man. The flesh seemed to have 1523 02:30:07.360 --> 02:30:11.639 melted from his face, and when he stood naked on the beach, it 1524 02:30:11.760 --> 02:30:18.200 seemed that the moving of his bones must soon tear holes in the unsubstantial skin. 1525 02:30:18.680 --> 02:30:22.319 Standing in the trench, with the two points of his collar bone jetting 1526 02:30:22.319 --> 02:30:28.079 out like promontories above his shirt, and a pale film of dust over his 1527 02:30:28.239 --> 02:30:33.760 face, he looked like the wan ghost of some forgotten soldier on the Western 1528 02:30:33.840 --> 02:30:39.879 Front, where one case of dysentery created a panic among the authorities, and 1529 02:30:39.959 --> 02:30:43.760 in the most urgent days they have never had to rely on skeletons to fight. 1530 02:30:45.239 --> 02:30:48.879 He would long since have been bundled off. But in this orgy of 1531 02:30:48.959 --> 02:30:54.680 disease, no officer could be sent away who was willing to stay and who 1532 02:30:54.680 --> 02:31:00.680 could still totter up the gully, And Harry would not go. When he 1533 02:31:00.760 --> 02:31:05.159 went to the battalion doctor, it was with an airy request for the impotent 1534 02:31:05.280 --> 02:31:11.079 palliatives when provided for early dysentery, and with no suggestion of the soul destroying 1535 02:31:11.120 --> 02:31:15.639 sickness that was upon him. One day, he would not come down to 1536 02:31:15.680 --> 02:31:20.440 the rocks and bathe so feeble he was. I know now, he said, 1537 02:31:20.799 --> 02:31:24.799 the meaning of that bit in the psalms. My knees are like water, 1538 02:31:26.120 --> 02:31:31.239 and all my bones are out of joint. Harry, I said, 1539 02:31:31.799 --> 02:31:35.879 you're not fit to stay here? Why not go sick, at which he 1540 02:31:37.000 --> 02:31:39.799 smiled weakly and said that he might be better in a day or two. 1541 02:31:41.360 --> 02:31:48.719 Pathetic hope all men had it, And so Hewitt and I walked down a 1542 02:31:48.719 --> 02:31:54.600 little sadly alone marveling at the boy's courage, for it seemed to us that 1543 02:31:54.719 --> 02:32:00.440 he wanted to stay and see it through, and if indeed he might recover, 1544 02:32:00.959 --> 02:32:03.920 we could not afford to lose him, so we said no more. 1545 02:32:05.399 --> 02:32:11.000 But by degrees I gained a different impression. Harry still opened his mind to 1546 02:32:11.079 --> 02:32:16.760 Hewitt and myself more than to anyone else. But it was by no direct 1547 02:32:16.840 --> 02:32:22.200 speech, rather by the things he did not say, the sentences half finished, 1548 02:32:22.399 --> 02:32:26.559 the look in his eyes, that the knowledge came that Harry did want 1549 02:32:26.600 --> 02:32:31.760 to go away. The romantic impulse had perished long since in that ruined trench, 1550 02:32:33.719 --> 02:32:37.440 but now even the more mundane zest of doing his duty had lost its 1551 02:32:37.479 --> 02:32:43.600 savor in the long ordeal of sickness and physical distress. He did want to 1552 02:32:43.639 --> 02:32:50.120 go sick, he had only to speak a word, and still he would 1553 02:32:50.159 --> 02:32:54.520 not go. When I knew this, I marveled at his courage yet more. 1554 02:32:56.399 --> 02:33:01.719 For many days I watched him fighting this lonely conflict with himself, a 1555 02:33:01.879 --> 02:33:09.920 conflict more terrible and exacting than any battle. Sometimes the doctor came and sat 1556 02:33:09.000 --> 02:33:15.280 under our olive tree, and some of us spoke jestingly of the universal sickness 1557 02:33:16.159 --> 02:33:18.799 and asked him how ill we must be before he would send us home. 1558 02:33:20.159 --> 02:33:28.120 Harry alone sat silent. It was no joke to him. And how do 1559 02:33:28.200 --> 02:33:33.120 you feel now, Penrose, said the doctor. Are you getting your arrow 1560 02:33:33.239 --> 02:33:37.600 root? All right? Harry opened his mouth, but for a moment said 1561 02:33:37.680 --> 02:33:43.079 nothing. I think it had been in his mind to say what he did 1562 02:33:43.159 --> 02:33:48.040 feel, but he only murmured, all right, thank you doctor. The 1563 02:33:48.200 --> 02:33:52.879 doctor looked at him queerly. He knew well enough, but it was his 1564 02:33:54.000 --> 02:33:58.879 task to keep men on the peninsula, not to send them away. Once 1565 02:34:00.079 --> 02:34:03.319 I spent an afternoon in one of the hospital ships in the bay. When 1566 02:34:03.399 --> 02:34:09.319 I came back and told them of the cool wards and pleasant nurses, and 1567 02:34:09.440 --> 02:34:15.040 all the peace and cleanliness and comfort that was there, I caught Harry's wistful 1568 02:34:15.120 --> 02:34:18.600 gaze upon me, and I stopped. It was well enough for the rest 1569 02:34:18.639 --> 02:34:26.479 of us in comparative health to imagine luxuriously those unattainable amenities. None of us 1570 02:34:26.520 --> 02:34:30.840 were ill enough then to go sick if we wished it. Harry was, 1571 02:34:31.840 --> 02:34:37.600 and I knew that such talk must be an intolerable temptation. Then one day, 1572 02:34:37.760 --> 02:34:41.360 on his way up to the line with a working party, he nearly 1573 02:34:41.440 --> 02:34:48.120 fainted. I felt it coming on, he told me. In a block. 1574 02:34:48.120 --> 02:34:52.559 I thought to myself, this is the end of it all for me. 1575 02:34:52.639 --> 02:34:56.479 Anyhow, I actually did go off for a moment, I think, 1576 02:34:58.159 --> 02:35:03.280 and then someone pushed me from behind, and as we moved on, it 1577 02:35:03.399 --> 02:35:09.360 wore off again. I did swear Harry stopped, realizing the confession he had 1578 02:35:09.360 --> 02:35:15.600 made. I tried to feel for myself the awful bitterness of that awakening in 1579 02:35:15.639 --> 02:35:20.600 the stifling trench, shuffling uphill with the flies. But he had told me 1580 02:35:20.719 --> 02:35:26.639 now everything I had only guessed before, and once more, I urged him 1581 02:35:26.639 --> 02:35:31.840 to go sick and have done with it. I would, he said, 1582 02:35:31.559 --> 02:35:37.719 only I'm not sure. I know I'm jolly ill and not fit for a 1583 02:35:37.840 --> 02:35:43.159 thing, but I'm not sure if it's only that I was pretty brave when 1584 02:35:43.159 --> 02:35:48.040 I got here. I think I nodded, and I think I am still. 1585 02:35:48.680 --> 02:35:52.360 But last time we were in the line, I found I didn't like 1586 02:35:52.520 --> 02:35:58.040 looking over the top nearly so much. So I want to be sure that 1587 02:35:58.120 --> 02:36:03.079 I'm quite all right in that way before I go sick. Besides, you 1588 02:36:03.200 --> 02:36:09.399 know what everybody says. Nobody could say anything about you, I told him, 1589 02:36:11.399 --> 02:36:13.920 one's only got to look at you to see you've got one foot in 1590 02:36:13.920 --> 02:36:20.319 the grave. Well we go up again tomorrow, he said, And if 1591 02:36:20.360 --> 02:36:26.879 I'm not better after that, I'll think about it again. I had to 1592 02:36:26.920 --> 02:36:31.159 be content with that, though I was not content, for my fears were 1593 02:36:31.200 --> 02:36:35.959 fulfilled, since in the grip of this sickness he had begun at last to 1594 02:36:37.040 --> 02:36:43.280 be doubtful of his own courage. But that night Burnett went to the doctor 1595 02:36:43.440 --> 02:36:46.799 and said that he was too ill to go on. So far as the 1596 02:36:46.840 --> 02:36:52.559 rest of us knew, he had never had anything but the inevitable preliminary attack 1597 02:36:52.600 --> 02:36:56.200 of dysentery. Though it is only fair to say that most of us were 1598 02:36:56.239 --> 02:37:01.639 so wrapped up in the exquisite contemplation of our own sufferings that we had little 1599 02:37:01.639 --> 02:37:07.959 time to study the condition of others. The doctor, however, had no 1600 02:37:07.040 --> 02:37:11.399 doubts about Burnett. He sent him back to us with a flea in his 1601 02:37:11.440 --> 02:37:16.959 ear and a dose of chlorodyne. The story leaked out quickly, and there 1602 02:37:18.079 --> 02:37:22.879 was much comment adverse to Burnett. When Harry heard it, he led me 1603 02:37:22.959 --> 02:37:28.920 away to his dugout. It was an evening of heavy calm, like the 1604 02:37:28.000 --> 02:37:33.959 inside of a cathedral. Only a few mules circling dustily at exercise in the 1605 02:37:35.079 --> 02:37:41.000 velvet gloom, and the distant glimmer of the Scotsman's fires made any stir of 1606 02:37:41.159 --> 02:37:46.440 movement. The men had gone early to their blankets and now sang softly their 1607 02:37:46.440 --> 02:37:54.159 most sentimental songs, reserved always for the night before another journey to the line. 1608 02:37:54.959 --> 02:38:00.559 They sang them in a low croon of ecstatic melancholy, marvelously in tune 1609 02:38:00.559 --> 02:38:05.760 with the purple hush of the evening. For all its aching regret, it 1610 02:38:05.799 --> 02:38:11.440 was a sound full of hope and gentle resolution. Harry whispered to me, 1611 02:38:11.760 --> 02:38:16.959 you heard about Burnett. Thank God, nobody can say those things about me. 1612 02:38:18.000 --> 02:38:24.920 I'm not going off this peninsula till I'm pushed off. I said nothing. 1613 02:38:24.920 --> 02:38:31.079 It was a heroic sentiment, and this was the heroic hour. It 1614 02:38:31.239 --> 02:38:35.799 is what men say in the morning that matters in the morning. We moved 1615 02:38:35.879 --> 02:38:41.959 off as the sun came up. There had been heavy firing nearly all night, 1616 02:38:41.399 --> 02:38:46.879 and over Ashibaba, in the cloudless sky there hung a portent. It 1617 02:38:46.959 --> 02:38:52.719 was as though some giant had been blowing smoke rings, and with inhuman dexterity 1618 02:38:54.440 --> 02:38:58.680 had twined and laced these rings together without any of them, losing their perfection 1619 02:38:58.719 --> 02:39:05.040 of form. As the sun came up, these cloud rings stood out a 1620 02:39:05.159 --> 02:39:09.760 rosy pink against the blue distance. And while we marched through the sleeping camps, 1621 02:39:11.159 --> 02:39:16.920 turned gently through dull gold to pale pearl. I have never known what 1622 02:39:16.120 --> 02:39:22.319 made this marvel, a few clouds forgotten by the wind or the smoke of 1623 02:39:22.360 --> 02:39:26.600 the knight's battle. But I marched with my eyes upon it all the stumbling 1624 02:39:26.639 --> 02:39:33.319 way to Ashibaba. And when I found Harry at a halt, he too 1625 02:39:33.639 --> 02:39:37.719 was gazing at the wonder with all his men. It's an omen, he 1626 02:39:37.840 --> 02:39:48.120 said, good or bad? Good? He said, I have never understood 1627 02:39:48.200 --> 02:39:52.920 omens. I suppose they are good or bad according to the mind of the 1628 02:39:52.959 --> 02:39:56.440 man who seized them. And I was glad that Harry thought it was good. 1629 02:40:00.280 --> 02:40:18.600 End of Chapter five, recording by Rogermaline. Chapter six of the Secret 1630 02:40:18.680 --> 02:40:24.200 Battle by A. P. Herbert. This LibriVox recording is in the public 1631 02:40:24.239 --> 02:40:31.559 domain. Recording by Rogermaline. It was one of the great dates, one 1632 02:40:31.600 --> 02:40:37.559 of those red dates which build up the calendar of a soldier's past and dwell 1633 02:40:37.639 --> 02:40:41.479 in his memory when the date of his own birth is almost forgotten. It 1634 02:40:41.639 --> 02:40:48.799 is strange what definite signposts. These dates of a man's battle days become in 1635 02:40:48.959 --> 02:40:54.040 his calculation of time, like the foundation of Rome. An old soldier will 1636 02:40:54.079 --> 02:40:58.639 sigh and say, yes, I know that was when Jim died. It 1637 02:40:58.799 --> 02:41:05.079 was ten days after the fourth of June, or I was promoted the day 1638 02:41:05.079 --> 02:41:11.319 before the twelfth of July. The years pile up, and zero after zero 1639 02:41:11.520 --> 02:41:16.319 day is added forever in his primitive calendar, and not one of them is 1640 02:41:16.399 --> 02:41:20.959 thrust from his reverent memory. But at each anniversary he wakes and says, 1641 02:41:22.079 --> 02:41:28.159 this is the third of February or the first of July, and thinks of 1642 02:41:28.239 --> 02:41:33.239 old companions who went down on that day. And though he has seen glorious 1643 02:41:33.280 --> 02:41:37.920 successes since, he will ever think with a special tenderness of the black early 1644 02:41:39.079 --> 02:41:45.000 failures when he first saw battle and his friends going under. And if in 1645 02:41:45.079 --> 02:41:50.280 any place where soldiers gather and tell old tales, there are two men who 1646 02:41:50.360 --> 02:41:54.559 can say to each other, I too, was at Helle's on such a 1647 02:41:54.680 --> 02:42:00.159 date, there is a great bond between them. On one of these days 1648 02:42:00.200 --> 02:42:03.840 we sat under the olive tree and waited up the hill. One of that 1649 02:42:03.920 --> 02:42:11.000 long series of heroic, costly semi successes was going through we were in reserve. 1650 02:42:11.879 --> 02:42:18.319 We had done six turns in the trenches without doing an attack. When 1651 02:42:18.360 --> 02:42:22.000 we came out, we were very ready to attack, very sure of ourselves. 1652 02:42:22.959 --> 02:42:28.280 Now we were not so sure of ourselves. We were waiting, and 1653 02:42:28.319 --> 02:42:33.799 there was a terrible noise. Very early the guns had begun, and everywhere 1654 02:42:35.000 --> 02:42:39.479 from the straits to the sea were the loud barkings of the French seventy fives, 1655 02:42:41.000 --> 02:42:46.239 thinly assisted by the British artillery, which was scanty and had almost no 1656 02:42:46.319 --> 02:42:52.280 ammunition. But the big ships came out from Imbros and stood off and swelled 1657 02:42:52.319 --> 02:42:56.760 the chorus, dropping their huge shells on every peak of the little sugar loaf 1658 02:42:56.840 --> 02:43:03.959 that tops Ashibaba, and covering his western slopes with monstrous eruptions of black and 1659 02:43:03.159 --> 02:43:09.040 yellow. Down in the thirsty wilderness of the rest camps, the few troops 1660 02:43:09.079 --> 02:43:16.760 in reserve lay restless under occasional olive trees, or huddled under the aciduous shelter 1661 02:43:16.840 --> 02:43:22.559 of ground sheets stretched over their scratchings in the earth. They looked up and 1662 02:43:22.680 --> 02:43:28.200 saw the whole of the great hill swathed in smoke and dust and filthy fumes, 1663 02:43:28.639 --> 02:43:33.719 and heard the ruthless crackle of the Turk's rifles incredibly rapid and sustained, 1664 02:43:35.719 --> 02:43:39.479 and they thought of their friends scrambling over in the bright sun trying to get 1665 02:43:39.559 --> 02:43:48.120 to those rifles. They themselves were thin and wasted with disease and this uncertainty 1666 02:43:48.159 --> 02:43:52.440 of waiting in readiness, for they knew not what plucked at their nerves. 1667 02:43:52.680 --> 02:43:58.200 They could not rest or sleep, for the flies crawled over their mouths and 1668 02:43:58.399 --> 02:44:03.799 eyes and torment them ceaselessly, and great storms of dust swept upon them as 1669 02:44:03.840 --> 02:44:09.879 they lay. They were parched with thirst, but they must not drink, 1670 02:44:09.399 --> 02:44:15.280 for their water bottles were filled with the day's allowance, and none knew when 1671 02:44:15.319 --> 02:44:18.879 they would be filled again. If a man took out of his haversack a 1672 02:44:18.959 --> 02:44:24.639 chunk of bread, it was immediately black with flies, and he could not 1673 02:44:24.760 --> 02:44:30.639 eat. Sometimes a shell came over the straits from Asia with a quick shrill 1674 02:44:30.799 --> 02:44:35.760 shriek, and burst at the top of the cliffs near the staff officers, 1675 02:44:35.840 --> 02:44:39.799 who stood there and gazed up at the hill with glasses all morning. The 1676 02:44:39.959 --> 02:44:45.719 noise increased, and the shells streamed up the hill with a sound like a 1677 02:44:45.879 --> 02:44:52.879 hundred expresses vanishing into a hundred tunnels. And there was no news. But 1678 02:44:54.079 --> 02:44:58.319 soon the wounded began to trickle down, and there were rumors of a great 1679 02:44:58.360 --> 02:45:05.799 success with terrible losses. In the afternoon, the news became uncertain and disturbing. 1680 02:45:05.799 --> 02:45:11.799 Most of the morning's fruits had been lost, and by evening they knew 1681 02:45:11.840 --> 02:45:16.079 that, indeed, it had been a terrible day. Under our olive tree, 1682 02:45:16.120 --> 02:45:20.600 we were very fidgety. There had been no mail for many days, 1683 02:45:20.840 --> 02:45:26.399 and we had only month old copies of the mail and the weekly Times, 1684 02:45:26.440 --> 02:45:33.440 which we pretended listlessly to read. Eustace had an ancient nation, and Hewett 1685 02:45:33.479 --> 02:45:39.719 a shilling edition of Vanity Fair. Harry in the morning kept climbing excitedly up 1686 02:45:39.719 --> 02:45:43.520 the trees to gaze at the obscure haze of smoke on the hill, and 1687 02:45:43.600 --> 02:45:50.520 trying vainly to divine what was going on. But after a little he too 1688 02:45:50.639 --> 02:45:56.600 sat silent and brooding. We were no longer irritable with each other, but 1689 02:45:56.799 --> 02:46:01.280 studiously considerate, as if each felt that tomorrow he might want to take back 1690 02:46:01.319 --> 02:46:07.600 a spiteful word and the other be dead. All our valises and our sparse 1691 02:46:07.680 --> 02:46:13.680 mess furniture had long been packed away, for we had now been standing by 1692 02:46:13.840 --> 02:46:18.079 for twenty four hours, and we lay uneasily on the hard ground, shifting 1693 02:46:18.159 --> 02:46:26.680 continually from posture to posture to escape the unfriendly protuberances of the soil. In 1694 02:46:26.760 --> 02:46:31.120 the tree the crickets chirped on, always in strange indifference to the storm of 1695 02:46:31.200 --> 02:46:37.879 noise about them. They were hateful, those crickets. Now and then Egerton 1696 02:46:37.959 --> 02:46:43.040 was summoned to headquarters. And when he came back, each man said to 1697 02:46:43.120 --> 02:46:48.280 himself, he has got our orders. And some would not look at him, 1698 02:46:48.520 --> 02:46:52.280 but talked suddenly of something else, And some said to him, with 1699 02:46:52.360 --> 02:46:58.520 a painful cheeriness, any orders. And when he shook his head, cursed 1700 02:46:58.520 --> 02:47:03.799 a little. But in their hearts wondered if they were glad for the waiting 1701 02:47:03.920 --> 02:47:07.520 was bad indeed, but who knew what tasks they would have when the orders 1702 02:47:07.600 --> 02:47:13.799 came. Often the reserves had the worst of it in these affairs, a 1703 02:47:13.959 --> 02:47:18.200 forlorn hope of an attack without artillery, digging a new line under fire, 1704 02:47:20.000 --> 02:47:26.360 beating off the counter attack. But the waiting became intolerable, and all were 1705 02:47:26.440 --> 02:47:31.879 glad. An hour before sunset, when we filed off slowly by half platoons, 1706 02:47:33.200 --> 02:47:37.520 every gun was busy again, and all along the path to the hill, 1707 02:47:37.799 --> 02:47:43.440 batteries of seventy fives barked suddenly from unsuspected holes, so close that a 1708 02:47:43.520 --> 02:47:50.159 man's heart seemed to halt at the shock. The gully was full of confusion 1709 02:47:50.280 --> 02:47:56.280 and wounded and tired officers and odd groups of men, bandying rumors and arguing 1710 02:47:56.280 --> 02:48:01.559 in the sun. Halfway up the tail came mysteriously down the line that we 1711 02:48:01.559 --> 02:48:07.559 were to attack a trench by ourselves. A whole brigade had tried and failed. 1712 02:48:09.200 --> 02:48:15.040 There was a redoubt, There were endless machine guns. Some laughed a 1713 02:48:15.319 --> 02:48:20.079 rumor, but most men felt in their heart that there was something in it, 1714 02:48:20.399 --> 02:48:24.959 and inwardly pulled themselves together. At last they were to be in a 1715 02:48:26.000 --> 02:48:31.239 real battle, and walk naked in the open through the rapid fire. And 1716 02:48:31.360 --> 02:48:35.600 as they moved on, there came over them an overpowering sense of the irrevocable. 1717 02:48:37.760 --> 02:48:41.360 They thought of that summer day in nineteen fourteen, when they walked lighthearted 1718 02:48:41.440 --> 02:48:46.559 into the recruiting office. It had seemed a small thing then, but that 1719 02:48:46.680 --> 02:48:50.600 was what had done it. It had brought them into this blazing gully, 1720 02:48:50.840 --> 02:48:56.079 with the frogs croaking and the men moaning in corners, with their legs messed 1721 02:48:56.159 --> 02:49:01.239 up. If they had known about this gully then, and these flies, 1722 02:49:01.719 --> 02:49:07.680 and this battle they were going to. Then perhaps they would have done something 1723 02:49:07.719 --> 02:49:13.680 else in that august, gone into a dockyard, joined the a sc like 1724 02:49:13.840 --> 02:49:20.000 Jim Roberts. Well they hadn't, and they were not really sorry. Only 1725 02:49:20.239 --> 02:49:24.440 let there be no more waiting, and let it be quick and merciful, 1726 02:49:24.879 --> 02:49:28.799 No stomach wounds and nastiness, No lying out in the scrub for a day 1727 02:49:28.840 --> 02:49:35.399 with the sun and the flies and no water. Look at that officer on 1728 02:49:35.479 --> 02:49:41.840 the stretcher. He won't last long. Remember his face. His platoon relieved 1729 02:49:41.920 --> 02:49:46.239 us somewhere. Where was it? Hope I don't get one like him, 1730 02:49:48.280 --> 02:49:52.639 nasty mess, would like one on the shoulder. If it's got to be 1731 02:49:52.760 --> 02:49:58.719 hospital ship, get home. Perhaps No, they send you to Egypt. 1732 02:50:00.639 --> 02:50:09.399 Officer said, So Hallo halting here Merton trench, old reserve line getting dark 1733 02:50:09.440 --> 02:50:16.639 night attack, Not wait till dawn. I hope can't stand much more waiting. 1734 02:50:18.200 --> 02:50:22.959 Pass the word company commanders to see the colonel that's done it. There 1735 02:50:24.000 --> 02:50:28.440 goes Egerton. Good Man thinks a lot of me. Try not to let 1736 02:50:28.520 --> 02:50:35.079 him down. But what Egerton and the others heard from the colonel made a 1737 02:50:35.200 --> 02:50:39.719 vain thing. Of all this bracing of men's spirits, there was a muddle. 1738 02:50:41.000 --> 02:50:45.799 The attack was canceled. No one knew where the Turks were, where 1739 02:50:45.840 --> 02:50:50.120 anybody was. We were to stay the night in this old reserve trench and 1740 02:50:50.280 --> 02:50:56.399 relieve the front line in the morning. When Egerton told his officers, only 1741 02:50:56.479 --> 02:51:03.319 Burnett spoke. He said, damn, as usual, I wanted to go 1742 02:51:03.360 --> 02:51:07.559 at the old Turks, and we knew that it was not true. The 1743 02:51:07.680 --> 02:51:11.840 rest of us said nothing, for we were wondering if it were true of 1744 02:51:11.840 --> 02:51:18.280 ourselves. I went with Harry to his platoon. They too said nothing, 1745 02:51:18.520 --> 02:51:24.559 and their faces were expressionless. But they were cold now and hungry, and 1746 02:51:24.760 --> 02:51:30.680 suddenly very tired, and they had no real fire of battle in them. 1747 02:51:31.559 --> 02:51:37.000 They had waited too long for this crowning experience of an attack, braced themselves 1748 02:51:37.040 --> 02:51:41.079 for it too often to be disappointed. And I knew that they were glad, 1749 02:51:43.000 --> 02:51:48.120 But they did not mind being glad. They pondered no doubts about themselves, 1750 02:51:48.479 --> 02:51:54.239 only curled up like animals in corners to sleep. Harry, too, 1751 02:51:54.479 --> 02:51:58.360 no doubt, had braced himself like the rest of us, and he too 1752 02:51:58.479 --> 02:52:03.040 must have been glad, glad to lie down and look forward, after all 1753 02:52:03.120 --> 02:52:09.719 to seeing another sunrise. But I thought of his doubts about himself, and 1754 02:52:09.799 --> 02:52:15.200 I felt that this business was far from easing his burden. For me and 1755 02:52:15.399 --> 02:52:18.760 for the men, it was a simple thing, the postponement of a battle 1756 02:52:18.760 --> 02:52:24.120 with the Turks. For Harry, it was the postponement of a personal test. 1757 02:52:24.920 --> 02:52:31.040 The battle inside him still went on, only it went on more bitterly. 1758 02:52:31.479 --> 02:52:37.600 There was a great muddle in front. Troops of two different brigades were 1759 02:52:37.639 --> 02:52:43.479 hopelessly entangled in the shallow trenches they had taken from the Turks. They had 1760 02:52:43.559 --> 02:52:48.479 few officers left, and their staffs had the most imperfect impressions of the whereabouts 1761 02:52:48.479 --> 02:52:54.319 of their mangled commands. So the sun was well up when we finally took 1762 02:52:54.360 --> 02:53:01.000 over the line. This was in defiance of all tradition. But the Turk 1763 02:53:01.120 --> 02:53:05.200 was shaken and did not molest us. The men who passed us on their 1764 02:53:05.200 --> 02:53:11.479 way down grimly wished us joy of what they had left. Their faces were 1765 02:53:11.559 --> 02:53:16.799 pale and drawn, full of loathing and weariness. But they said little, 1766 02:53:18.040 --> 02:53:22.319 and the impression grew that there was something up there which they could not even 1767 02:53:22.360 --> 02:53:28.559 begin to describe. It was a still scorching morning, and as we moved 1768 02:53:28.600 --> 02:53:33.559 on, the air became heavy with a sickening stench, the most awful of 1769 02:53:33.680 --> 02:53:37.120 all smells that man can be called to endure, because it preyed on the 1770 02:53:37.200 --> 02:53:43.559 imagination as well as the senses, for we knew now what it was. 1771 02:53:45.000 --> 02:53:50.440 We came into a Turkish trench, broad and shallow. In the first bay 1772 02:53:50.719 --> 02:53:56.159 lay two bodies, a Lowlander and a Turk. They lay where they had 1773 02:53:56.239 --> 02:54:00.479 killed each other, and they were very foul and loathe him. In the 1774 02:54:00.520 --> 02:54:05.159 sun, a man looked up at them and passed on, thinking glad, 1775 02:54:05.200 --> 02:54:11.159 I haven't got to stay here. In the next bay there were three dead, 1776 02:54:11.520 --> 02:54:16.159 all Englishmen, and in the next there were more, and he thought 1777 02:54:16.799 --> 02:54:22.280 it was a hot fight just here. But as he moved on, and 1778 02:54:22.399 --> 02:54:28.639 in each succeeding bay beheld the same corrupt aftermath of yesterday's battle, the suspicion 1779 02:54:28.719 --> 02:54:33.840 came to him that this was no local horror. Over the whole front of 1780 02:54:33.879 --> 02:54:39.799 the attack, along two lines of trenches, these regiments of dead were everywhere 1781 02:54:39.920 --> 02:54:46.079 found strung in unnatural heaps along the parapets, or sprawling horribly into half the 1782 02:54:46.120 --> 02:54:52.360 trench, so that he touched them as he passed. Yet Still he could 1783 02:54:52.360 --> 02:54:56.120 not believe, and at each corner thought, surely there will be none in 1784 02:54:56.200 --> 02:55:03.399 this bay, But always there were more, until if he were not careful 1785 02:55:03.600 --> 02:55:07.920 or very callous, it began to get in his nerves, so that at 1786 02:55:07.920 --> 02:55:13.200 the traverses he almost prayed that there might be no more beyond. Yet many 1787 02:55:13.280 --> 02:55:18.120 did not realize what was before them till they were finally posted in the bays. 1788 02:55:18.159 --> 02:55:24.680 They were to garrison three or four in a bay. Then they looked 1789 02:55:24.760 --> 02:55:28.319 up at the sprawling horrors on the parapet and behind them, just above their 1790 02:55:28.360 --> 02:55:33.399 heads, and knew that these were to be their close companions all that sweltering 1791 02:55:33.520 --> 02:55:39.959 day, and perhaps beyond. The regiment we had relieved had been too exhausted 1792 02:55:41.000 --> 02:55:46.639 by the attack or too short handed to bury more than a few, and 1793 02:55:46.680 --> 02:55:52.319 the Turkish snipers made it impossible to do anything during the day, and so 1794 02:55:52.559 --> 02:55:56.280 we sat all the scorching hours of the sun, or moved listlessly up and 1795 02:55:56.360 --> 02:56:03.040 down, trying not to look upwards. But there was a hideous fascination about 1796 02:56:03.079 --> 02:56:07.840 the things, so that after a few hours a man came to know the 1797 02:56:07.920 --> 02:56:11.879 bodies in his bay with a sickening intimacy, and could have told you many 1798 02:56:11.920 --> 02:56:16.719 details about each of them, their regiment, and how they lay, and 1799 02:56:16.760 --> 02:56:22.000 how they had died, and little things about their uniforms, a missing button, 1800 02:56:22.319 --> 02:56:26.879 or some papers, or an old photograph sticking out of a pocket. 1801 02:56:28.399 --> 02:56:33.959 All of them were alive with flies, and at noon, when we took 1802 02:56:33.959 --> 02:56:37.440 out our bread and began to eat, the flies rose in a great black 1803 02:56:37.559 --> 02:56:43.600 swarm and fell upon the food in our hands. After that no one could 1804 02:56:43.639 --> 02:56:50.120 eat. All day. Men were being sent away by the doctor, stricken 1805 02:56:50.200 --> 02:56:54.959 with sheer nausea by the flies and the stench and the things they saw, 1806 02:56:54.600 --> 02:57:01.639 and went wretching down the trench to keep away the reek. We went about 1807 02:57:01.680 --> 02:57:05.079 for a little in the old gas helmets, but the heat and burden of 1808 02:57:05.120 --> 02:57:11.440 them in the hot, airless trench was intolerable. The officers had no dugouts, 1809 02:57:11.600 --> 02:57:18.000 but sat under the parapets like the men. No officer went sick, 1810 02:57:18.639 --> 02:57:22.840 no officer could be spared, And indeed we seemed to have a greater power 1811 02:57:22.920 --> 02:57:28.639 of resistance to this ordeal of disgust than the men. But I don't know 1812 02:57:28.760 --> 02:57:35.399 how Harry survived it, being already in a very bad way physically. It 1813 02:57:35.479 --> 02:57:39.159 affected him more than the rest of us, and It was the first day 1814 02:57:39.200 --> 02:57:43.600 I had seen his cheerfulness defeated. At the worst. He had always been 1815 02:57:43.600 --> 02:57:48.399 ready to laugh a little at our misfortunes, the great safety valve of a 1816 02:57:48.479 --> 02:57:54.959 soldier, and make ironical remarks about Burnett or the staff. This day he 1817 02:57:56.079 --> 02:58:00.920 had no laugh left in him, And I thought sadly of that first morning 1818 02:58:01.360 --> 02:58:05.920 when we jumped over the parapet to look at a dead turk. He had 1819 02:58:05.959 --> 02:58:11.040 seen enough. Now in the evening the turk was still a little chastened, 1820 02:58:11.559 --> 02:58:16.639 and all night we labored at the burying of the bodies. It was bad 1821 02:58:16.719 --> 02:58:22.719 work, but so strong was the horror upon us that every man who could 1822 02:58:22.719 --> 02:58:28.280 be spared took his part, careless of sleep or rest, so long as 1823 02:58:28.280 --> 02:58:33.319 he should not sit for another day with those things. But we could only 1824 02:58:33.360 --> 02:58:37.680 bury half of them that night, and all the next day we went again 1825 02:58:37.840 --> 02:58:41.920 through that lingering torment, and in the afternoon, when we had orders to 1826 02:58:41.959 --> 02:58:46.360 go up to the front line after dusk for an attack, we were glad. 1827 02:58:48.559 --> 02:58:52.360 It was one of the very few moments in my experience when the work 1828 02:58:52.360 --> 02:58:58.159 correspondent's legend of a regiment's pleasure at the prospect of battle came true. For 1829 02:58:58.360 --> 02:59:03.000 anything was welcome, if only we could get out of that trench, away 1830 02:59:03.040 --> 02:59:09.040 from the smell and the flies, away from those bodies. I am not 1831 02:59:09.159 --> 02:59:13.399 going to tell you about that attack, only so much of it as affects 1832 02:59:13.440 --> 02:59:18.680 this history, which is the history of a man and not of the war. 1833 02:59:20.200 --> 02:59:26.280 It was a one battalion affair, and eventually a failure. D Company 1834 02:59:26.399 --> 02:59:31.319 was in reserve, and our only immediate task was to provide a small digging 1835 02:59:31.399 --> 02:59:37.000 party forty men under an officer, to dig some sort of communication ditch to 1836 02:59:37.079 --> 02:59:41.079 the new line. When taken. Burnett was told off for this job. 1837 02:59:41.879 --> 02:59:46.120 We did these things more or less in turn, and it was his turn, 1838 02:59:48.440 --> 02:59:52.440 and Burnett did not like it. We sat round a single candle under 1839 02:59:52.479 --> 02:59:56.680 a waterproof sheet in a sort of open recess at the back of the front 1840 02:59:56.760 --> 03:00:03.000 line, while Egerton gave him his orders, and there ran in my head 1841 03:00:03.159 --> 03:00:09.680 the old bit about they all began with one accord to make excuse. Burnett 1842 03:00:09.799 --> 03:00:16.079 made no actual excuse. He could not, but he asked aggressive questions about 1843 03:00:16.120 --> 03:00:20.719 the arrangements, which plainly said that he considered this task too dangerous and too 1844 03:00:20.760 --> 03:00:28.680 difficult for Burnett. He wanted more men, he wanted another officer, but 1845 03:00:28.760 --> 03:00:33.520 no more could be spared from an already small reserve. He was full of 1846 03:00:33.639 --> 03:00:39.559 the high ground on the right, from which his party would obviously be enfilated 1847 03:00:39.639 --> 03:00:46.120 and shot down to a man. However, he went and we sat listening 1848 03:00:46.159 --> 03:00:50.680 to the rapid fire or the dull thud of bombs, until in front a 1849 03:00:50.799 --> 03:00:56.879 strange quiet fell. But to right and left were the sounds of many machine 1850 03:00:56.920 --> 03:01:03.040 guns as usual. No one knew what had happened, but we expected a 1851 03:01:03.120 --> 03:01:09.399 summons at any moment. We were all restless and jumpy, particularly Harry. 1852 03:01:09.520 --> 03:01:15.479 For a man who has doubts of himself or too much imagination, to be 1853 03:01:15.600 --> 03:01:22.600 in reserve is the worst thing possible. Harry was talkative again and held forth 1854 03:01:22.639 --> 03:01:26.399 about the absurdity of the whole attack, as to which he was perfectly right. 1855 03:01:28.079 --> 03:01:33.000 But I felt that all the time he was thinking, shall I do 1856 03:01:33.079 --> 03:01:37.920 the right thing? Shall I do the right thing? Shall I make a 1857 03:01:37.959 --> 03:01:43.159 mess of it? I went out and looked over the parapet, but could 1858 03:01:43.159 --> 03:01:48.840 make nothing out. Then I saw two figures loom through the dark and scramble 1859 03:01:48.920 --> 03:01:52.760 into the trench, and after them came others, all along the line, 1860 03:01:54.120 --> 03:02:00.920 coming in anyhow in disorder. Then Burnett came along the trench and crawled in 1861 03:02:01.079 --> 03:02:07.760 under the waterproof sheet. I followed. It's no good, he was saying. 1862 03:02:07.200 --> 03:02:13.200 The men won't stick it. It's just what I told you. Enfilated 1863 03:02:13.280 --> 03:02:18.760 from that high ground over there, two machine guns. How many casualties have 1864 03:02:18.840 --> 03:02:26.239 you had, said Egerton, one killed and two wounded. There was silence, 1865 03:02:26.639 --> 03:02:31.879 but it was charged with eloquent thoughts. It was clear what had happened. 1866 03:02:33.600 --> 03:02:37.559 The machine guns were firing blindly from the right, probably over the heads 1867 03:02:37.559 --> 03:02:46.520 of the party. The small casualties showed that casualties are the test. No 1868 03:02:46.639 --> 03:02:50.120 doubt, the men had not liked the stream of bullets overhead. At any 1869 03:02:50.159 --> 03:02:56.600 moment the gun might lower, but there was nothing to prevent the digging being 1870 03:02:56.680 --> 03:03:00.879 done. Given an officer who would assert himself and keep the men together, 1871 03:03:01.079 --> 03:03:07.920 that was what an officer was for, and Burnett had failed. He had 1872 03:03:07.000 --> 03:03:13.719 let the company down. Egerton, I knew, was considering what to do. 1873 03:03:13.760 --> 03:03:18.319 The job had to be done. But should he send Burnett again with 1874 03:03:18.559 --> 03:03:24.520 orders not to return until he had finished as he deserved, or should he 1875 03:03:24.559 --> 03:03:31.360 send a more reliable officer and to make sure. Then Harry burst in let 1876 03:03:31.399 --> 03:03:35.440 me take my platoon. He said, they'll stick it, all right, 1877 03:03:35.520 --> 03:03:41.159 and his tone was full of contempt. For Burnett, full of determination, 1878 03:03:41.680 --> 03:03:48.040 no doubts about him. Now. Well, we sent him out with his 1879 03:03:48.159 --> 03:03:54.319 platoon, and all night they dug and sweated in the dark. The machine 1880 03:03:54.399 --> 03:04:00.000 gun did lower at times, and there were many casualties, but Harry moved 1881 03:04:00.319 --> 03:04:05.280 up and down in the open, cheerful and encouraging, getting away the wounded, 1882 03:04:05.000 --> 03:04:09.680 and there were no signs of the men not sticking it. I went 1883 03:04:09.719 --> 03:04:15.719 out and stayed with him for an hour or so and thought him wonderful, 1884 03:04:16.559 --> 03:04:22.479 Curious from what strange springs inspiration comes. For Harry, for the second time, 1885 03:04:24.000 --> 03:04:30.079 had been genuinely inspired by the evil example of his enemy. Probably in 1886 03:04:30.159 --> 03:04:33.799 the first place, he had welcomed the chance of doing something at last, 1887 03:04:35.520 --> 03:04:39.399 of putting his doubts to the test. But I am sure that what chiefly 1888 03:04:39.479 --> 03:04:45.280 carried him through that night, weak and exhausted as he was, was the 1889 03:04:45.399 --> 03:04:50.840 thought Burnett let them down. Burnett let them down. I'm not going to 1890 03:04:50.959 --> 03:04:58.239 let them down. Anyway. He did very well, But in the morning 1891 03:04:58.399 --> 03:05:03.319 he was carried down to the beach in a high fever. And perhaps it 1892 03:05:03.399 --> 03:05:07.520 was just as well, for I think Burnett would have done him a mischief. 1893 03:05:09.479 --> 03:05:22.639 End of Chapter six recording by Roger Maline. Chapter seven of the Secret 1894 03:05:22.719 --> 03:05:28.360 Battle by A. P. Herbert. This LibriVox recording is in the public 1895 03:05:28.399 --> 03:05:37.319 domain. Recording by Roger Maline. So Harry stayed till he was pushed off, 1896 03:05:37.440 --> 03:05:41.959 as he had promised, and I was glad he had gone like that. 1897 03:05:43.000 --> 03:05:48.760 I had long wanted him to leave the peninsula somehow, for I felt 1898 03:05:48.799 --> 03:05:54.639 he should be spared for greater things. But knowing something of his peculiar temperament, 1899 03:05:54.000 --> 03:05:58.639 I did not want his career there to end on a note of simple 1900 03:05:58.719 --> 03:06:05.120 failure, a dull surrender to sickness in the rest camp. As it turned 1901 03:06:05.159 --> 03:06:09.239 out, the accident of the digging party and the way in which Harry had 1902 03:06:09.280 --> 03:06:15.079 seized his chance, sent him off with a renewed confidence in himself, and 1903 03:06:15.479 --> 03:06:20.639 with regard to Burnett, even a sense of triumph. So I was not 1904 03:06:20.799 --> 03:06:26.079 surprised when his letters began to reveal something of the old enthusiastic Harry, chafing 1905 03:06:26.120 --> 03:06:31.879 at the dreary routine of the depot and looking for adventure again. But I 1906 03:06:31.959 --> 03:06:39.520 am anticipating they sent him home. Of course, it was no good keeping 1907 03:06:39.559 --> 03:06:45.360 anyone in his condition at Egypt or Malta, for the prolonged dysentery had produced 1908 03:06:45.399 --> 03:06:52.120 the usual complications. I had a letter from Malta and won from the Mediterranean 1909 03:06:52.159 --> 03:06:56.520 Club at Gibraltar, where he had a sultry week looking over the bay, 1910 03:06:56.920 --> 03:07:01.479 seeing the ship's steam out for England, he told, and longing to be 1911 03:07:01.600 --> 03:07:05.200 in one, for it took many months to wash away the taste of the 1912 03:07:05.239 --> 03:07:11.520 peninsula, and much more than the austere comforts of the hospital at Gibraltar. 1913 03:07:11.760 --> 03:07:18.280 Even the hot August sun in the Alameda was hatefully reminiscent. Then six weeks 1914 03:07:18.399 --> 03:07:26.319 milk diet at a hospital in Devonshire, convalescence and a month's leave. Then 1915 03:07:26.479 --> 03:07:31.799 Harry married a wife. I did not know the lady, a Miss Thickness, 1916 03:07:31.440 --> 03:07:35.719 and she does not come into the story very much, though she probably 1917 03:07:35.760 --> 03:07:43.040 affected it a good deal. Wives usually do affect a soldier's story, though 1918 03:07:43.040 --> 03:07:46.040 they are one of the many things which, by the absolute official standard of 1919 03:07:46.079 --> 03:07:52.719 military duty, are necessarily not reckoned with at all. Not being the president 1920 03:07:52.760 --> 03:07:56.440 of a court martial, I did reckon with it, and when I had 1921 03:07:56.440 --> 03:08:01.559 read Harry's letter about his wedding, said, we shan't see him again. 1922 03:08:03.840 --> 03:08:07.879 For in those early years it was generally assumed that a man returned from service 1923 03:08:07.920 --> 03:08:13.520 at the front need not go out again unless he wished for a period almost 1924 03:08:13.559 --> 03:08:20.360 incalculably remote, And being a newly married man myself, I had no reason 1925 03:08:20.440 --> 03:08:26.440 to suppose that Harry would want to rush into the breach just yet. But 1926 03:08:26.680 --> 03:08:31.360 about May. That would be nineteen sixteen. We had done with Gallipoli and 1927 03:08:31.520 --> 03:08:37.159 come to France after four months idling in the Aegean Islands. I had another 1928 03:08:37.239 --> 03:08:43.319 letter, much delayed, from which I will give you an extract. I 1929 03:08:43.440 --> 03:08:46.040 never thought I should want to go out again. You remember, we all 1930 03:08:46.079 --> 03:08:52.520 swore we never should, but I do. I'm fed to the teeth with 1931 03:08:52.639 --> 03:08:58.760 this place, the depot in Dorsetshire, nothing but company drill and lectures on 1932 03:09:00.040 --> 03:09:05.399 March discipline and all the old stuff. We still attack Hill two nineteen twice 1933 03:09:05.440 --> 03:09:09.959 weekly in exactly the same way, and still no one but a few of 1934 03:09:09.959 --> 03:09:16.479 the officers knows exactly which hill it is, since we always stop halfway for 1935 03:09:16.639 --> 03:09:24.000 lunch time, or because there's hopeless confusion. There's nobody amusing here. Williams 1936 03:09:24.040 --> 03:09:30.000 has got a company and swanks like blazes about the front, but I think 1937 03:09:30.120 --> 03:09:35.879 most people see through him. My wife's got rooms in a cottage near here, 1938 03:09:35.399 --> 03:09:39.959 but they won't let me sleep out, and I don't get there till 1939 03:09:39.040 --> 03:09:43.680 pretty late most days. Can't you get the colonel to apply for me? 1940 03:09:45.799 --> 03:09:50.000 I don't believe it's allowed, but he's sure to be able to wrangle it. 1941 03:09:50.799 --> 03:09:54.559 Otherwise I shall be here for the rest of the war, because the 1942 03:09:54.680 --> 03:09:58.639 more you've been out, the less likely you are to get out again if 1943 03:09:58.680 --> 03:10:03.200 you want to. There are lots who don't want to go, and wouldn't 1944 03:10:03.200 --> 03:10:09.200 be any earthly good and stand in hourly danger of being sent I want to 1945 03:10:09.200 --> 03:10:16.399 see France, I answered, on a single sheet. All very well, 1946 03:10:16.760 --> 03:10:22.719 but what about missus p Does she concur I told you I was a married 1947 03:10:22.760 --> 03:10:30.719 man. His answer was equally brief. She doesn't know, but she would. 1948 03:10:31.399 --> 03:10:37.079 Well, it wasn't my business, so we wangled it. I was 1949 03:10:37.200 --> 03:10:43.479 adjutant then, and Harry came out to France. But I was sorry for 1950 03:10:43.639 --> 03:10:50.760 missus Penrose. I do not know if all this seems tedious and unnecessary, 1951 03:10:50.319 --> 03:10:54.920 I hope not, for it is very relevant to the end of the story, 1952 03:10:54.639 --> 03:10:58.559 and if this record had been in the hands of certain persons. The 1953 03:10:58.680 --> 03:11:05.120 end of the story might have been different. I do not know. Certainly 1954 03:11:05.200 --> 03:11:09.879 it ought to have been different. Anyhow, Harry came to France and found 1955 03:11:09.959 --> 03:11:16.600 us in the line at Suchet. The recuperative power of the young soldier is 1956 03:11:16.760 --> 03:11:20.600 very marvelous. No one but myself would have said that this was not the 1957 03:11:20.639 --> 03:11:26.799 same Harry of a year ago, for he was fit and fresh and bubbling 1958 03:11:26.840 --> 03:11:31.920 over with keenness. Only myself, who had sat over the dard knells with 1959 03:11:33.040 --> 03:11:37.520 him and talked about Troy, knew what was missing. There were no more 1960 03:11:37.639 --> 03:11:46.760 romantic illusions about war, and I think no more military ambitions. Only he 1961 03:11:46.840 --> 03:11:50.600 was sufficiently rested to be very keen again, and had not yet seen enough 1962 03:11:50.600 --> 03:11:56.639 of it to be ordinarily bored. And in that summer of nineteen sixteen, 1963 03:11:58.120 --> 03:12:03.000 there was much to be said for life in the Suchet sector. It was 1964 03:12:03.040 --> 03:12:07.079 a peace time sector, where divisions stayed for months at a time, and 1965 03:12:07.280 --> 03:12:13.520 one went in and out like clockwork, at ritual intervals, each time into 1966 03:12:13.559 --> 03:12:18.360 the same trenches, the same deep dugouts, each time back to the same 1967 03:12:18.399 --> 03:12:24.600 billets or the same huts in the same wood, all the deserted fields. 1968 03:12:24.639 --> 03:12:30.760 About the line were a mass of poppies and corn flowers, and they hung 1969 03:12:30.799 --> 03:12:37.559 over one in extravagant masses as one walked up the communication trench. In the 1970 03:12:37.680 --> 03:12:43.760 thick woods round Bouvigny and Nullette there were clusters of huts where the resting time 1971 03:12:43.879 --> 03:12:50.000 was very warm and lazy and companionable, with much white wine and singing in 1972 03:12:50.000 --> 03:12:54.719 the evenings. Or one took a horse and rode into Kupinay or Barlin, 1973 03:12:56.280 --> 03:13:00.639 where there had not been too much war, but one could dine happily at 1974 03:13:00.680 --> 03:13:05.840 the best estiminae, and then ride back contentedly under the stars. In the 1975 03:13:07.000 --> 03:13:11.959 line, also there was not too much war. Few of the infantry on 1976 03:13:11.079 --> 03:13:18.040 either side ever fired their rifles, and only a few bombers with rifle grenades 1977 03:13:18.079 --> 03:13:22.280 tried to injure the enemy. There were short sectors of the line on either 1978 03:13:22.399 --> 03:13:30.399 side which became spasmodically dangerous because of these things. And at a fixed hour 1979 03:13:30.520 --> 03:13:33.879 each day, the Germans blew the same portions of the line to dust, 1980 03:13:33.959 --> 03:13:41.319 with mynan morphers, our men having departed elsewhere half an hour previously, according 1981 03:13:41.319 --> 03:13:48.680 to the established routine, from which neither side ever diverged. Our guns were 1982 03:13:48.799 --> 03:13:54.719 very busy by spasms, and every day destroyed small sections of the thick red 1983 03:13:54.799 --> 03:14:01.920 masses of the German wire, which were every night religiously repaired. The German 1984 03:14:01.000 --> 03:14:07.319 guns were very few, for the psalm battle was raging, but at times 1985 03:14:07.360 --> 03:14:11.360 they flung whiz bangs vaguely about the line, or dropped big shells on the 1986 03:14:11.399 --> 03:14:18.200 great brows of the Lorette Heights behind us. From the high ground we held 1987 03:14:18.200 --> 03:14:22.239 there was a good view with woods and red and white villages on the far 1988 03:14:22.399 --> 03:14:28.079 hills beyond the Germans, and away to the left one looked over the battered 1989 03:14:28.079 --> 03:14:35.239 pit country toward Lantz, with everywhere the tall pit towers all crumpled and bent 1990 03:14:35.360 --> 03:14:41.479 into uncouth shapes and gray slag heaps rising like the pyramids out of a wilderness 1991 03:14:41.559 --> 03:14:46.879 of broken red cottages. To the southeast began the Vimy Ridge, where the 1992 03:14:48.000 --> 03:14:52.280 red pimple frowned over the lines at the Lorette Heights, and all day there 1993 03:14:52.360 --> 03:14:58.600 was the foam and blackness of bursting shells. In the night there was much 1994 03:14:58.639 --> 03:15:05.879 patrol rolling and bursts of machine gun fire, and a few snipers and enormous 1995 03:15:05.959 --> 03:15:11.799 labors at the improvement of the line, wiring and raveting, and exquisite work 1996 03:15:11.840 --> 03:15:18.280 with sand bags. It was all very gentle and friendly and artificial, and 1997 03:15:18.360 --> 03:15:24.719 we were happy together. Burnett had left us on some detached duty or other, 1998 03:15:24.399 --> 03:15:28.920 and in that gentler atmosphere, Eustace was a good companion. Again, 1999 03:15:31.600 --> 03:15:37.200 men grew lusty and well, and one could have continued there indefinitely without much 2000 03:15:37.239 --> 03:15:43.680 injury to body or mind. But sometimes on a clear night we saw all 2001 03:15:43.719 --> 03:15:48.120 the southern sky a fire, with some new madness on the sum, and 2002 03:15:48.319 --> 03:15:54.719 knew that somewhere in France there was real war. The correspondence wrote home that 2003 03:15:54.760 --> 03:16:01.319 the regiments condemned so long to the deadening inactivity of trench warfare were longing only 2004 03:16:01.360 --> 03:16:07.120 for their turn at the Great Battle. No doubt they had authority, though 2005 03:16:07.200 --> 03:16:11.159 I never met one of those regiments. For our part, we were happy 2006 03:16:11.200 --> 03:16:18.559 where we were. We had had enough for the present. But I digress, 2007 03:16:18.399 --> 03:16:22.559 and yet no, for I want you to keep this idea of the 2008 03:16:22.680 --> 03:16:28.200 diversity of war conditions before you, and how a man may be in a 2009 03:16:28.239 --> 03:16:33.360 fighting unit for many months and yet go unscathed, even in spirit, or 2010 03:16:33.440 --> 03:16:39.120 in the most arcadian parts of the battle area. He may come alone against 2011 03:16:39.200 --> 03:16:46.559 some peculiar shock from which he never recovers. It is all chance. We 2012 03:16:46.719 --> 03:16:52.760 made Harry scout officer again, and he was very keen. Between us and 2013 03:16:52.799 --> 03:16:58.959 the German lines was a honeycomb of old, disused trenches where French and Germans 2014 03:16:58.959 --> 03:17:03.040 had fought for many months before they sat down to watch each other Across this 2015 03:17:03.239 --> 03:17:09.760 maze. They were all overgrown now with flowers and thick grasses, but for 2016 03:17:09.799 --> 03:17:15.639 the purposes of future operations it was important to know all about them. And 2017 03:17:15.799 --> 03:17:20.879 every night Harry wriggled out and dropped into one of these to creep and explore, 2018 03:17:20.479 --> 03:17:26.319 and afterwards put them on the map. Sometimes I went a little way 2019 03:17:26.360 --> 03:17:30.559 with him, and I did not like it. It was very creepy in 2020 03:17:30.600 --> 03:17:35.639 those forgotten alleys, worse than crawling outside in the open, I think, 2021 03:17:35.239 --> 03:17:43.200 because of the intense blackness and the infinite possibilities of ambush. The Bosches, 2022 03:17:43.319 --> 03:17:48.000 we knew, were playing the same game as ourselves, and might always be 2023 03:17:48.120 --> 03:17:52.920 round the next traverse, so that every ten yards one went through a new 2024 03:17:52.079 --> 03:18:00.479 ordeal of expectancy and stealthy, strained investigation. One stood breath us at the 2025 03:18:00.520 --> 03:18:05.120 corner, listening, peering, quivering with the strain of it. And then 2026 03:18:05.159 --> 03:18:09.360 a rat dropped into the next bay, or behind us, one of our 2027 03:18:09.479 --> 03:18:16.040 Lewis guns blazed off a few bursts, shattering the silence. Surely there was 2028 03:18:16.120 --> 03:18:22.879 some one near, moving hurriedly under cover of the noise. Then you stood 2029 03:18:22.920 --> 03:18:28.559 again, stiff and cramped with the stillness, and you wanted insanely to cough 2030 03:18:28.159 --> 03:18:33.559 or shift your weight onto the other foot, or your nose itched, and 2031 03:18:33.680 --> 03:18:37.879 the grass has tickled your ear, but you must not stir, must hardly 2032 03:18:39.000 --> 03:18:45.600 breathe. For now all the lines have become mysteriously hushed, and no man 2033 03:18:45.760 --> 03:18:50.600 fires. Far away, one can hear the rumble of the German limbers coming 2034 03:18:50.680 --> 03:18:56.639 up with rations to the dump, and the quiet becomes unbearable, so that 2035 03:18:56.680 --> 03:19:01.680 you long for some titanic explode illusion to break it and set you free from 2036 03:19:01.680 --> 03:19:07.440 waiting. Then a machine gun opens again, and you slip round the corner 2037 03:19:07.440 --> 03:19:13.600 to find nothing at all, only more blackness and the rats scuttling away into 2038 03:19:13.680 --> 03:19:20.000 the grass, and perhaps the bones of a Frenchman. And then you begin 2039 03:19:20.159 --> 03:19:26.879 all over again. When he has done this sort of thing many times without 2040 03:19:26.920 --> 03:19:33.079 any happening, an imperfect scout becomes careless through sheer weariness, and begins to 2041 03:19:33.120 --> 03:19:41.680 blunder noisily ahead, and sooner or later he goes under. But Harry was 2042 03:19:41.719 --> 03:19:46.559 a natural scout, well trained, and from first to last kept the same 2043 03:19:46.719 --> 03:19:52.719 care, the same admirable patience. And this means a great strain on body 2044 03:19:52.760 --> 03:19:58.200 and mind. In those old trenches, you could go right up to the 2045 03:19:58.280 --> 03:20:05.600 German line two hundred yards away, and this Harry often did. The Germans 2046 03:20:05.680 --> 03:20:11.040 had small posts at these points waiting, and were very ready with bombs and 2047 03:20:11.239 --> 03:20:16.680 rifle grenades. It was a poor lookout if you were heard about there, 2048 03:20:18.159 --> 03:20:22.959 and perhaps badly wounded, so that you could not move two hundred yards away 2049 03:20:24.079 --> 03:20:28.440 from friends and all those happy soldiers who spent their nights comfortably in trenches. 2050 03:20:28.959 --> 03:20:35.559 When you were out there in your stomach, perhaps your companion would get away 2051 03:20:35.600 --> 03:20:39.959 and bring help, or he too might be hit or killed, and then 2052 03:20:41.040 --> 03:20:45.600 you would lie there for days and nights alone in a dark hole, with 2053 03:20:45.680 --> 03:20:50.200 the rats scampering and smelling about you, till you died of starvation or loss 2054 03:20:50.239 --> 03:20:56.639 of blood. You would lie there listening to your own men chattering in the 2055 03:20:56.719 --> 03:21:01.879 distance at their wiring, and neither nor anyone would find you or know where 2056 03:21:01.920 --> 03:21:07.799 you were till months. Hence some other venturesome scout stumbled on your revolver in 2057 03:21:07.840 --> 03:21:13.440 the dark, or maybe the line would advance at last, and some salvage 2058 03:21:13.520 --> 03:21:18.280 party come upon your uniform rotting in the ditch, and they would take off 2059 03:21:18.319 --> 03:21:24.959 your identity disk and send it into headquarters and shovel a little earth above your 2060 03:21:24.959 --> 03:21:31.360 bones. It might be many years. I am not an imaginative man, 2061 03:21:31.959 --> 03:21:37.079 but that was the kind of thought I had while I prowled round with Harry, 2062 03:21:37.479 --> 03:21:41.520 and I never went so far as he. He even had an occasional 2063 03:21:41.639 --> 03:21:46.600 jest at the Germans, and once planted an old dummy close up to their 2064 03:21:46.680 --> 03:21:52.280 lines. There was stony ground there, and as they took it there, 2065 03:21:52.399 --> 03:21:58.840 he told me it clattered. The next night he went there again in case 2066 03:21:58.920 --> 03:22:03.719 the Germans came out to capture Reggie. They did not, but every evening 2067 03:22:03.760 --> 03:22:09.879 for many months they put a barrage of rifle grenades all about that dummy. 2068 03:22:11.600 --> 03:22:16.159 Then there was much talk of raids, and all the opposite wire had to 2069 03:22:16.200 --> 03:22:22.360 be patrolled and examined for gaps and weak places. This meant crawling in the 2070 03:22:22.440 --> 03:22:28.520 open close up to the enemy, naked under the white flares, and sometimes 2071 03:22:28.600 --> 03:22:33.360 they fell to earth within a few feet of a scout and sizzled brilliantly for 2072 03:22:33.559 --> 03:22:41.079 interminable seconds. There was a sniper somewhere near, and perhaps a machine gun 2073 03:22:41.159 --> 03:22:46.319 section, and surely they could see him, so large, so illuminated, 2074 03:22:46.799 --> 03:22:52.319 so monstrously visible. He felt. It was easy when there was not too 2075 03:22:52.399 --> 03:22:56.719 much quiet, but many echoes of scattered shots, and the noise of bullets 2076 03:22:56.840 --> 03:23:03.799 rocketing into space, or long bursts of machine gun fire to cover your movements. 2077 03:23:05.239 --> 03:23:09.799 But when that terrible silence fell, it was very difficult. For then, 2078 03:23:09.879 --> 03:23:16.120 how loud was the rustle of your stealthiest wriggle, How sinister the tiny 2079 03:23:16.239 --> 03:23:22.879 sounds of insects in the grass. Everywhere there were stray strands of old barbed 2080 03:23:22.959 --> 03:23:28.879 wire, which caught in your clothes and needed infinite patients to disentangle. When 2081 03:23:28.879 --> 03:23:33.680 you got rid of one barb another clung to you as the wire sprang back, 2082 03:23:35.120 --> 03:23:39.520 or if you were not skillful, it clashed on a post or a 2083 03:23:39.639 --> 03:23:46.719 rifle or a tin can with a noise like cymbals. You came across strange 2084 03:23:46.799 --> 03:23:52.799 things as you crawled out there, dead bodies and bits of equipment and huge 2085 03:23:52.959 --> 03:23:58.159 unexploded shells, or you touched a rat or a grass snake that made you 2086 03:23:58.239 --> 03:24:03.479 shiver as it moved. The rats and the field mice ran over you if 2087 03:24:03.520 --> 03:24:09.319 you lay still for long, And once Harry saw a German patrol dog sniffing 2088 03:24:09.360 --> 03:24:16.000 busily in front of him. Sometimes as you went up wind, you put 2089 03:24:16.040 --> 03:24:20.680 your hands suddenly on a dead man and had to lie close beside him for 2090 03:24:20.799 --> 03:24:24.600 cover. Or you scented him far off, like a dog nosing through the 2091 03:24:24.680 --> 03:24:31.799 grass, and made him a landmark. Whispering to your companion, keep fifty 2092 03:24:31.920 --> 03:24:37.559 yards from the deaden, or make for the dead bosh. When the lights 2093 03:24:37.600 --> 03:24:43.479 went up, you lay very close, peering ahead under your cap, and 2094 03:24:43.600 --> 03:24:46.920 as they fell away to the ground, all your vision became full of moving 2095 03:24:48.000 --> 03:24:54.600 things and fugitive shadows. The thick rows of wiring posts looked like men working, 2096 03:24:56.120 --> 03:24:58.639 and that cluster of stones like the head of a man in a shell 2097 03:24:58.680 --> 03:25:07.159 hole watching, watching you gone in an instant. Then you waited tensely for 2098 03:25:07.200 --> 03:25:13.639 the next light. There is the murmur of voices somewhere very difficult to locate. 2099 03:25:13.840 --> 03:25:18.040 For a long while, you stalk it, ready to attack some patrol, 2100 03:25:18.399 --> 03:25:24.799 some working party. Then you hear a familiar time side curse. It 2101 03:25:24.959 --> 03:25:31.280 is a company wiring with much noise. All this, as I have said, 2102 03:25:31.879 --> 03:25:37.319 is a heavy strain on mind and body and nerve. It requires a 2103 03:25:37.319 --> 03:25:43.959 peculiar kind of courage, a lonely, cold blooded kind of courage. Many 2104 03:25:43.959 --> 03:25:48.559 men who would do well in a slap dash fight in the light of day 2105 03:25:48.799 --> 03:25:54.840 are useless as scouts. Not only are they noisy and impatient, but they 2106 03:25:54.840 --> 03:26:00.239 cannot stand it. And yet it is no job for a very imagine of 2107 03:26:00.360 --> 03:26:05.399 man. There are too many things you can imagine if you once begin. 2108 03:26:05.680 --> 03:26:09.520 The more you know about it, the more there is to imagine, and 2109 03:26:09.639 --> 03:26:16.479 the greater the strain becomes. Now Harry had a very vivid imagination, and 2110 03:26:16.600 --> 03:26:22.559 he knew all about it, and yet he played this game nearly every night. 2111 03:26:22.639 --> 03:26:28.079 We were in the line for three months. Nothing theatrical, you understand, 2112 03:26:28.600 --> 03:26:33.000 nor even heroic by popular standards, no stabbing, a phrase, no 2113 03:26:33.239 --> 03:26:39.920 medals. But by my standards it was very nearly heroic. And I don't 2114 03:26:41.000 --> 03:26:48.639 know how he did it, but this was forgotten later on. Then Harry 2115 03:26:48.719 --> 03:26:52.959 had a shock. There was a large sap running out from our line along 2116 03:26:54.000 --> 03:26:58.959 the crown of a steep ridge. This sap was not held during the day. 2117 03:27:00.120 --> 03:27:03.840 At night was peopled with bombers and snipers, and it was a great 2118 03:27:03.879 --> 03:27:09.559 starting place for the patrols. One night, Harry went out from this sap 2119 03:27:09.600 --> 03:27:15.719 and crawled down the face of the ridge. It was a dark night and 2120 03:27:15.840 --> 03:27:20.680 the bosches were throwing up many flares. One of these came to earth ten 2121 03:27:20.760 --> 03:27:26.000 yards from Harry. At that moment, he was halfway down the slope, 2122 03:27:26.520 --> 03:27:33.559 crouched on one knee. However, when flares are about, to keep still 2123 03:27:33.600 --> 03:27:39.719 in any posture is better than to move. So Harry remained rigid. But 2124 03:27:39.879 --> 03:27:45.600 one of the new scouts behind was just leaving the sap and hovered uncertainly on 2125 03:27:45.680 --> 03:27:52.360 the skyline as the light flared and sizzled below. Possibly he was seen. 2126 03:27:52.239 --> 03:27:58.600 Possibly what followed was a chance freak of the Germans. Anyhow, a moment 2127 03:27:58.680 --> 03:28:03.840 later they opened with every machine gun in the line, with rifles, rifle 2128 03:28:03.959 --> 03:28:11.360 grenades and high velocity shells. So venomous was the fire that every man in 2129 03:28:11.399 --> 03:28:18.399 the line believed, and afterwards hotly asserted that the whole fury of it was 2130 03:28:18.479 --> 03:28:24.079 concentrated on his particular yard of trench. Few of us thought of the unhappy 2131 03:28:24.120 --> 03:28:31.760 scouts lying naked outside. Harry, of course, flattened himself to the ground 2132 03:28:31.159 --> 03:28:37.680 and tried to wriggle into a hollow on level ground. You may, with 2133 03:28:37.840 --> 03:28:41.079 luck be safe under wild fire of this kind. For a long time. 2134 03:28:43.479 --> 03:28:48.840 Being on a slope, Harry was hopelessly exposed. I lay there, he 2135 03:28:48.959 --> 03:28:54.520 told me, and simply sweated with funk. You won't believe me, but 2136 03:28:54.639 --> 03:29:00.520 at one time I could literally feel a stream of machine gun bullets fuffling my 2137 03:29:00.600 --> 03:29:05.799 hair and thudding into the bank just above my back, and they dropped half 2138 03:29:05.799 --> 03:29:11.600 a dozen whiz bangs just in front of me. While it was going on, 2139 03:29:11.840 --> 03:29:16.600 I couldn't have moved for a thousand pounds. I felt pinned to the 2140 03:29:16.680 --> 03:29:20.920 ground. Then there was a lull and I leaped up, so did Old 2141 03:29:20.959 --> 03:29:28.280 Smith. Bolted for the sap and simply dived in head first. They were 2142 03:29:28.319 --> 03:29:33.079 still blazing off sixteen to the dozen, and it was the mercy of God 2143 03:29:33.159 --> 03:29:39.120 we weren't hit. Talk about wind up, and when we got in two 2144 03:29:39.159 --> 03:29:43.959 bombers thought it was an attack and took us for boshes. Rather funny. 2145 03:29:45.159 --> 03:29:48.799 While the strafe was going on, I kept thinking, poor Old Smith, 2146 03:29:50.079 --> 03:29:54.920 he's a married man. He was just a few yards from me, and 2147 03:29:54.120 --> 03:30:01.600 Smith tells me he was thinking, mister Penrose, a married and married man, 2148 03:30:01.879 --> 03:30:07.319 what about some more whiskey. Well, he made a joke of it, 2149 03:30:07.520 --> 03:30:13.159 as one tries to do as long as possible, and that night was 2150 03:30:13.280 --> 03:30:18.719 almost happily exhilarated, as a man sometimes is after escaping narrowly from an adventure. 2151 03:30:20.000 --> 03:30:26.079 But I could see that it had been a severe shock. The next 2152 03:30:26.200 --> 03:30:30.440 night he had a cold and a bad cough, and said he would not 2153 03:30:30.559 --> 03:30:35.559 go out for fear of making a noise and giving the show away. The 2154 03:30:35.680 --> 03:30:41.079 following night he went out, but came in very soon and sat rather glum 2155 03:30:41.079 --> 03:30:46.399 in the dugout, thinking of something. I always waited up till he came 2156 03:30:46.440 --> 03:30:50.200 into report, and we used to discuss the situation over some whiskey or a 2157 03:30:50.200 --> 03:30:56.000 little white wine. The following day, the colonel gave him a special job 2158 03:30:56.079 --> 03:31:01.600 to do. There was the usual talk of a raid on a certain section 2159 03:31:01.680 --> 03:31:05.719 of the enemy lines, but there was a theory that this particular section had 2160 03:31:05.760 --> 03:31:11.200 been evacuated. Flares were sent up from all parts of it, but this 2161 03:31:11.280 --> 03:31:16.399 was supposed to be the work of one man, a hard worker who walked 2162 03:31:16.520 --> 03:31:22.399 steadily up and down, pretending to be a company. Harry was told off 2163 03:31:22.440 --> 03:31:26.520 to test the truth of this myth, to get right up to that trench, 2164 03:31:26.799 --> 03:31:31.079 to look in and see what was in it. It was a thing 2165 03:31:31.159 --> 03:31:35.600 he had done twice before, at least, though myself I should not have 2166 03:31:35.680 --> 03:31:39.760 cared to do it at all. It meant the usual breathless, toilsome wriggle 2167 03:31:39.840 --> 03:31:46.120 across no man's land, avoiding the flares, and the two snipers who covered 2168 03:31:46.159 --> 03:31:50.319 that bit of ground, finding a gap in the wire, getting through without 2169 03:31:50.360 --> 03:31:56.879 being seen, without noise, without catching his clothes on a wandering barb, 2170 03:31:56.639 --> 03:32:03.399 or banging his revolver against a multio of tin cans. Then you had to 2171 03:32:03.440 --> 03:32:07.680 listen and wait, and if possible, get a look into the trench. 2172 03:32:09.719 --> 03:32:13.600 When and if you had done that, you had to get back, turn 2173 03:32:13.680 --> 03:32:18.879 around in a tiny space, past the same obstacles, the same snipers. 2174 03:32:18.719 --> 03:32:22.639 If at any stage you were spotted, the odds against your getting back at 2175 03:32:22.680 --> 03:32:28.799 all were extremely large. However, Harry was a scout and it was his 2176 03:32:28.959 --> 03:32:35.200 job. In the afternoon of that day I met him somewhere in the line 2177 03:32:35.520 --> 03:32:41.079 and made some would be jocular remark about his night's work. He seemed to 2178 03:32:41.120 --> 03:32:46.879 me a little worried, preoccupied, and answered shortly. Hewett was sitting near 2179 03:32:48.120 --> 03:32:52.920 shaving in the sun, and said to him, you're a nasty, cold 2180 03:32:52.000 --> 03:32:58.040 blooded fellow, Harry, crawling about like a young snake every night. But 2181 03:32:58.280 --> 03:33:03.959 I suppose you like it, Harry said, slowly, with a casual air. 2182 03:33:05.159 --> 03:33:09.120 Well, so I did, but I must say that Strafe the other 2183 03:33:09.239 --> 03:33:13.639 night put the wind up me properly. And when I went out last night, 2184 03:33:13.639 --> 03:33:16.719 I found I was thinking all the time, suppose they did that again. 2185 03:33:18.000 --> 03:33:22.319 And when I got to the top of a ridge or anywhere a bit 2186 03:33:22.399 --> 03:33:26.360 exposed, I kept imagining what it would be like if all those machine guns 2187 03:33:26.360 --> 03:33:33.319 started just then simply dashed into a shell hole. And I found myself working 2188 03:33:33.360 --> 03:33:37.920 for safe spots where one would be all right in case of accidents, sort 2189 03:33:37.959 --> 03:33:43.479 of lost confidence, you know. It was all said in a matter of 2190 03:33:43.559 --> 03:33:48.040 fact manner, as if he was saying, I don't like marmalade so much 2191 03:33:48.120 --> 03:33:52.239 as I used to do. And there was no suggestion that he was not 2192 03:33:52.440 --> 03:33:56.440 ready to go and look in the Bosche front line or the unter de in 2193 03:33:56.559 --> 03:34:03.719 Lunden if necessary. But I was sorry about this. I told him that 2194 03:34:03.799 --> 03:34:09.639 he must not imagine that that strafe was a unique affair, never likely to 2195 03:34:09.680 --> 03:34:13.319 be repeated. But when I went back to the dugout, I spoke to 2196 03:34:13.360 --> 03:34:20.360 the Colonel. That night, I went up with Harry to Foster Alley and 2197 03:34:20.520 --> 03:34:24.680 watched him writhing away into the gray gloom. There were many stars, and 2198 03:34:24.799 --> 03:34:31.159 you could follow him for thirty yards. And as I watched, I wondered, 2199 03:34:31.840 --> 03:34:35.399 is he thinking, suppose they do that again? And when he gets 2200 03:34:35.440 --> 03:34:41.000 over near the wire, will he be thinking what would happen if they saw 2201 03:34:41.079 --> 03:34:46.559 me? Now? If so, I said, God help him and went 2202 03:34:46.600 --> 03:34:52.079 back to headquarters. Three hours later he came into the dugout, where I 2203 03:34:52.159 --> 03:34:58.559 sat with the Colonel making out an intelligence report. He was very white and 2204 03:34:58.719 --> 03:35:03.399 tired, and while he spoke to the Colonel, he stood at the bottom 2205 03:35:03.440 --> 03:35:07.719 of the muddy steps with his head just out of the candle light. All 2206 03:35:07.760 --> 03:35:11.680 the front of his tunic was muddy, and there were two rents in his 2207 03:35:11.760 --> 03:35:18.360 breeches. He said, very sorry, sir, but I couldn't get through. 2208 03:35:18.159 --> 03:35:24.840 I got pretty close to the wire but couldn't find a gap. Was 2209 03:35:24.879 --> 03:35:30.479 there much firing, said the Colonel, The usual two snipers and a machine 2210 03:35:30.520 --> 03:35:33.479 gun. On the left. From what I heard, I should say there 2211 03:35:33.520 --> 03:35:37.760 were a good many men in that part of the trench, but I couldn't 2212 03:35:37.799 --> 03:35:43.479 swear. Now. What the Colonel had wanted was somebody who could swear that 2213 03:35:43.719 --> 03:35:50.120 was what the brigade wanted. So he was not pleased, but he was 2214 03:35:50.159 --> 03:35:54.520 a kind, understanding fellow, and all he said was well, I'm sorry 2215 03:35:54.600 --> 03:36:00.479 too, Penrose, but no doubt you did your best. And he went 2216 03:36:00.520 --> 03:36:07.559 to bed. Then I opened some peria we still had peria then, and 2217 03:36:07.680 --> 03:36:11.879 gave Harry a strong whiskey and waited for I knew that there was more. 2218 03:36:13.079 --> 03:36:16.840 He talked for a little, as usual, about the Mud and the Bosch 2219 03:36:16.959 --> 03:36:22.040 line and so on, and then he said what I told the Colonel was 2220 03:36:22.120 --> 03:36:28.159 perfectly true. I did get pretty close to the wire, and there wasn't 2221 03:36:28.200 --> 03:36:31.520 a gap to be seen, But that wasn't the whole of it. I 2222 03:36:31.559 --> 03:36:37.920 couldn't face it. The truth is that show the other night was too much 2223 03:36:37.959 --> 03:36:43.440 for me. I found myself lying in a shell hole, pretending to myself 2224 03:36:43.600 --> 03:36:48.159 that I was listening and watching and so on, but really absolutely struck, 2225 03:36:48.680 --> 03:36:54.879 trying to make myself go on, and I couldn't. I'm finished as a 2226 03:36:54.959 --> 03:37:03.760 scout. That's all well, it was all for the present. No thinking 2227 03:37:03.000 --> 03:37:07.079 human CEO is going to run a man in for being beaten by a job 2228 03:37:07.120 --> 03:37:13.159 like that. It is a specialist's affair, like firing a gun. It 2229 03:37:13.360 --> 03:37:16.719 is his business to put the right man on the job, and if he 2230 03:37:16.799 --> 03:37:24.559 doesn't, he can't complain. So we made Harry Lewis gun officer. And 2231 03:37:24.760 --> 03:37:33.879 that was the first stage. End of chapter seven. Recording by Roger Malin 2232 03:37:45.360 --> 03:37:50.319 Chapter eight of The Secret Battle by A. P. Herbert. This LibriVox 2233 03:37:50.399 --> 03:37:58.840 recording is in the public domain. Recording by Roger Maline. Soon after that 2234 03:38:00.079 --> 03:38:03.799 we went down to the Palm. It was autumn then, and all that 2235 03:38:03.879 --> 03:38:11.079 desolate area of stark brown earth was wet and heavy and stinking. Down the 2236 03:38:11.120 --> 03:38:16.040 Ancre valley. There were still some leaves in teppe filled wood, and the 2237 03:38:16.120 --> 03:38:20.959 tall trees along the river were green and beautiful in the thin October sun. 2238 03:38:22.319 --> 03:38:26.639 But the center of battle was coming up to that valley. In a month, 2239 03:38:26.799 --> 03:38:30.360 the green was all gone, and there was nothing to see but the 2240 03:38:30.520 --> 03:38:35.600 endless, uniform landscape of tumbled earth and splintered trunks, and only the big 2241 03:38:35.639 --> 03:38:41.440 shells raising vain water spouts in the wide pools of the ancre gave any brightness 2242 03:38:41.440 --> 03:38:48.360 to the tired eye. But you know about all this. Every Englishman has 2243 03:38:48.399 --> 03:38:50.799 a picture of the sum in his mind, and I will not try to 2244 03:38:50.920 --> 03:38:56.520 enlarge it. We were glad in a way to go there, not in 2245 03:38:56.559 --> 03:39:01.479 the expectation of liking it, but on the principle of Henry the fifth speech. 2246 03:39:01.520 --> 03:39:07.200 On the eve of Saint Crispin, we saw ourselves in hospitals or drawing 2247 03:39:07.319 --> 03:39:11.799 rooms or bars, saying, yes, we were six months on the Somme 2248 03:39:13.479 --> 03:39:18.959 as indeed we were, We were going to be in the swing. But 2249 03:39:18.040 --> 03:39:24.319 it was very vile. After Suchet it was real war again, and many 2250 03:39:24.399 --> 03:39:31.239 Suchet reputations wilted there and died. Yet, with all its horror and discomfort 2251 03:39:31.280 --> 03:39:37.040 and fear, that winter was more bearable than the Gallipoli summer, For at 2252 03:39:37.040 --> 03:39:43.920 the worst there was a little respite, spasms of repose. You came back 2253 03:39:43.040 --> 03:39:48.680 sometimes to billets, cold, bare, broken houses, but still houses, 2254 03:39:50.399 --> 03:39:54.760 where you might make a brave blaze of a wood fire and huddled round it 2255 03:39:54.799 --> 03:40:00.280 in a cheery circle, with warm drinks and a song or two. And 2256 03:40:00.479 --> 03:40:05.079 sometimes there were estimonies and kind French women. Or you went far back to 2257 03:40:05.159 --> 03:40:11.000 an old chateau perched over the village, and there was a bridge and a 2258 03:40:11.040 --> 03:40:18.319 piano and guests at headquarters. Civilization was within reach, and sometimes you had 2259 03:40:18.319 --> 03:40:22.399 a glimpse of it and made the most of it. But we had a 2260 03:40:22.440 --> 03:40:28.200 bad time, as everyone did. After a stiff three weeks of holding a 2261 03:40:28.319 --> 03:40:33.520 nasty bit of the line, much digging of assembly trenches and carrying in the 2262 03:40:33.639 --> 03:40:37.600 mud, we took our part in a great battle. I shall not tell 2263 03:40:37.639 --> 03:40:41.440 you about it. It is in the histories, but it was a black 2264 03:40:41.559 --> 03:40:48.840 day for the battalion. We lost four hundred men and twenty officers, more 2265 03:40:48.879 --> 03:40:54.319 than twice the total British casualties at Amdormen. Hewett was killed and six other 2266 03:40:54.399 --> 03:41:01.639 officers, the colonel and twelve more were wounded. Eustace showed superb courage with 2267 03:41:01.719 --> 03:41:09.440 a hideous wound. Harry and myself survived. Now I had made a mistake 2268 03:41:09.479 --> 03:41:16.000 about Harry after that scouting episode at Suchet. I told myself that his nerve 2269 03:41:16.200 --> 03:41:20.440 was gone, that for a little anyhow, he would be no good in 2270 03:41:20.520 --> 03:41:26.079 action. But soon after we got to the Psalm he had surprised me by 2271 03:41:26.120 --> 03:41:31.120 doing a very good piece of work under fire. We were digging a new 2272 03:41:31.239 --> 03:41:37.079 jumping off line in no man's land, two hundred men at work at once. 2273 03:41:37.200 --> 03:41:41.879 They were spotted, the boshes dropped some minies about, and there was 2274 03:41:41.920 --> 03:41:46.719 the beginning of a slight stampede, you know, the sort of thing. 2275 03:41:46.440 --> 03:41:52.520 Mythical orders to retire came along. All Harry did was to get the men 2276 03:41:52.680 --> 03:41:58.639 back and keep them together and keep them digging. The officer's job. But 2277 03:41:58.719 --> 03:42:03.600 he did very well, and to me, as I say, surprisingly well. 2278 03:42:05.799 --> 03:42:09.760 The truth was as I afterwards perceived that only what I may call his 2279 03:42:11.000 --> 03:42:16.920 scouting nerve was gone. It is a peculiar kind of super nerve, as 2280 03:42:16.959 --> 03:42:20.440 I have tried to show, and losing it he had lost a very valuable 2281 03:42:20.520 --> 03:42:26.920 quality. But that was all at present. Or I may put it another 2282 03:42:26.959 --> 03:42:31.559 way, there is a theory held among soldiers which I will call the theory 2283 03:42:31.600 --> 03:42:39.239 of the favorite fear. Every civilian has his favorite fear, death by burning 2284 03:42:39.479 --> 03:42:43.959 or by drowning, the fear of falling from a great height or being mangled 2285 03:42:45.000 --> 03:42:50.479 in a machine, something which it makes us shiver to think about. Among 2286 03:42:50.600 --> 03:42:56.079 soldiers, such special fears are even more acute, though less openly confessed. 2287 03:42:56.799 --> 03:43:01.719 But in the evenings, men will sometime times lie on the straw in the 2288 03:43:01.799 --> 03:43:07.600 smoky barns and whisper the things of which they are most afraid. It is 2289 03:43:07.719 --> 03:43:13.360 largely a matter of locality and circumstance. In Gallipoli, where the Turk's rapid 2290 03:43:13.440 --> 03:43:20.760 musketry fire was almost incredibly intense and their snipers uncannily accurate, men would say 2291 03:43:20.799 --> 03:43:26.559 that they hated bullets, but shell fire left them unmoved. The same men 2292 03:43:26.680 --> 03:43:33.959 travel to France and found rifle fire practically extinct, but gunpower increasingly terrible and 2293 03:43:35.200 --> 03:43:41.120 rapidly reversed their opinions. More often, however, there has been some particular 2294 03:43:41.159 --> 03:43:46.079 experience which, out of a multitude of shocks, has been able to make 2295 03:43:46.120 --> 03:43:52.879 a lasting impression and leave behind it the favorite fear. One man remembers the 2296 03:43:52.959 --> 03:43:58.319 death of a friend caught by the gas without his gas mask, and is 2297 03:43:58.360 --> 03:44:01.799 possessed with the fear that he may one day forget his own and perish in 2298 03:44:01.840 --> 03:44:07.680 the same agony. And such is the effect of conduct on these obsessions, 2299 03:44:07.719 --> 03:44:13.520 that this man will neglect the most ordinary precautions against other dangers, will be 2300 03:44:13.600 --> 03:44:18.760 reckless under heavy shell fire, but will not move an inch without his respirator. 2301 03:44:20.319 --> 03:44:24.760 With others. It is the fear of being left to die between the 2302 03:44:24.879 --> 03:44:28.879 lines, caught on the wire and riddled by both sides, the fear of 2303 03:44:30.040 --> 03:44:35.879 snipers, of five nines, even of whiz bangs. One man feels safe 2304 03:44:35.879 --> 03:44:39.959 in the open, but in the strongest dugout has a horror that it may 2305 03:44:41.000 --> 03:44:45.600 be blown in upon him. There is the fear of the empty trench, 2306 03:44:46.000 --> 03:44:50.239 where like a child on the dark staircase, another man is convinced that there 2307 03:44:50.239 --> 03:44:56.840 are enemies lying behind the parapet ready to leap upon him. And there is 2308 03:44:56.840 --> 03:45:01.120 the horror of being killed on the way down from the line after a relief. 2309 03:45:01.719 --> 03:45:05.239 But most to be pitied of all the men I have known, was 2310 03:45:05.360 --> 03:45:11.479 one who had served at Gallipoli in the early days. Few men then could 2311 03:45:11.479 --> 03:45:16.479 have an orderly burial in a recognized ground, but often the stretcher bearers buried 2312 03:45:16.520 --> 03:45:22.120 them hastily where they could, in and about the lines. This man's fear 2313 03:45:22.399 --> 03:45:28.200 was that one day a sniper would get him in the head, that unskilled 2314 03:45:28.239 --> 03:45:33.399 companions would pronounce his death sentence, and that he would wake up, perhaps 2315 03:45:33.520 --> 03:45:37.760 within a few yards of his own trench, and know that he was buried 2316 03:45:37.879 --> 03:45:43.600 but not dead. That was how it was with Harry. The one thing 2317 03:45:43.639 --> 03:45:48.440 he could not face at present was crawling lonely in the dark with the thought 2318 03:45:48.479 --> 03:45:54.879 of that tornado of bullets in his head. Nothing else frightened him now more 2319 03:45:54.920 --> 03:45:58.959 than it frightened the rest of us, though God knows. That was enough 2320 03:46:00.159 --> 03:46:03.760 so that he did quite well in this battle in a sound, undistinguished way. 2321 03:46:05.760 --> 03:46:09.479 He commanded a platoon for the occasion and took them through the worst part 2322 03:46:09.479 --> 03:46:15.680 of the show without exceptional losses, and he got as far as any of 2323 03:46:15.719 --> 03:46:20.360 the regiment got. He held out there for two days under very heavy shell 2324 03:46:20.520 --> 03:46:26.879 fire, with a mixed lot of men from several battalions and a couple of 2325 03:46:26.000 --> 03:46:31.079 strange officers. In the evening of the second day, we were to be 2326 03:46:31.120 --> 03:46:37.040 relieved, and being now in command, I sent him down with a runner 2327 03:46:37.120 --> 03:46:41.639 to brigade headquarters to fix up a few points about our position and the relief. 2328 03:46:43.000 --> 03:46:48.319 There was a terrific barrage to pass, but both of them got through. 2329 03:46:48.600 --> 03:46:52.719 When his business was done, he started back to rejoin the battalion. 2330 03:46:54.719 --> 03:46:58.600 By that time it was about eleven o'clock at night and the relief was just 2331 03:46:58.680 --> 03:47:03.079 beginning. There was no reason why he should have come back at all. 2332 03:47:03.760 --> 03:47:09.680 Indeed, the brigade major told him he had better not had better wait there 2333 03:47:09.719 --> 03:47:15.479 in the warm dugout and join us as we passed down. Now, when 2334 03:47:15.520 --> 03:47:18.719 a man has been through a two days battle of this kind, has had 2335 03:47:18.799 --> 03:47:24.920 no sleep and hardly any food for two days, and finished up with a 2336 03:47:24.000 --> 03:47:30.559 two mile trudge over a stony wilderness of shell holes, through a vicious barrage 2337 03:47:30.639 --> 03:47:35.799 of heavy shells. When after all this he finds himself worn and exhausted, 2338 03:47:35.840 --> 03:47:41.879 so that he can hardly stand, but safe and comfortable in a deep dugout 2339 03:47:41.079 --> 03:47:46.239 where there are friendly lights and the soothing voices of calm men. And when 2340 03:47:46.239 --> 03:47:52.040 he has the choice of staying there the right side of the barrage till it 2341 03:47:52.159 --> 03:47:56.520 is time to go out to rest, or of going back through that same 2342 03:47:56.600 --> 03:48:01.959 barrage staggering into the same shell hole with the immediate prospect of doing it all 2343 03:48:03.000 --> 03:48:07.840 over again with men to look after as well as himself. Well, the 2344 03:48:07.920 --> 03:48:13.879 temptation is almost irresistible. But Harry did resist it, I can't tell you 2345 03:48:13.959 --> 03:48:20.479 how. And he started back. The barrage was worse than ever all down 2346 03:48:20.520 --> 03:48:28.159 the valley road and Apparently when they came near the most dangerous part, Harry's 2347 03:48:28.239 --> 03:48:33.040 runner was hit by a big splinter and blown twenty yards. There were no 2348 03:48:33.120 --> 03:48:39.920 stretchers unoccupied for five miles, and it was evident that the boy, he 2349 03:48:39.159 --> 03:48:43.920 was only a kid, would die in a little time. He knew it 2350 03:48:45.000 --> 03:48:50.399 himself, but he was very frightened in that hideous valley where the shells still 2351 03:48:50.440 --> 03:48:56.000 fell, and he begged Harry not to leave him. And so we came 2352 03:48:56.120 --> 03:49:00.920 upon them. As we stumbled down thanking, our stars were through the worst 2353 03:49:00.920 --> 03:49:05.479 of it. Harry and the runner crouched together in a shell hole, with 2354 03:49:05.559 --> 03:49:11.440 the heart of the barrage blazing and roaring sixty yards off, and stray shells 2355 03:49:11.559 --> 03:49:18.200 all around. From a military, or indeed a common sense point of view, 2356 03:49:18.600 --> 03:49:24.760 it was a feudal performance, the needless risk of a valuable officer's life. 2357 03:49:24.280 --> 03:49:28.959 They do not give decorations for that kind of thing. But I was 2358 03:49:30.079 --> 03:49:33.760 glad he had stayed with that young runner. And I only tell you this 2359 03:49:33.959 --> 03:49:39.319 to show you how wrong I was, and how much stuff he had in 2360 03:49:39.479 --> 03:49:46.559 him still. And now Colonel Philpot comes into the story. I wish to 2361 03:49:46.680 --> 03:49:50.120 god he had kept out of it altogether. He was one of a class 2362 03:49:50.120 --> 03:49:56.719 of officer with which our division was specially afflicted. At least we believed so, 2363 03:49:56.239 --> 03:50:01.280 if only for the credit of the British Army. For if they were 2364 03:50:01.319 --> 03:50:03.840 typical of the old Army, I do not know how we came out of 2365 03:50:03.920 --> 03:50:09.280 nineteen fourteen with as much honor as we did, but I am happy to 2366 03:50:09.319 --> 03:50:15.719 think they were not. We called them the old duds, and we believed 2367 03:50:15.760 --> 03:50:20.079 that for some forgotten sin of ours, or because of a certain strong temporary 2368 03:50:20.200 --> 03:50:26.040 spirit we had, they were dumped upon us by way of penalty. We 2369 03:50:26.159 --> 03:50:33.559 had peculiarly few regular officers, and so perhaps were inclined to be extra critical 2370 03:50:33.639 --> 03:50:39.920 of these gentlemen. Anyhow, at one time they came in swarms, lazy, 2371 03:50:39.239 --> 03:50:46.239 stupid, ignorant men, with many years of service, retired, reserve 2372 03:50:46.440 --> 03:50:52.200 or what not, but no discoverable distinction, either in intellect or character or 2373 03:50:52.280 --> 03:50:58.200 action. And when they had told us about Simla and all the injustices they 2374 03:50:58.200 --> 03:51:03.000 had suffered in the matter of promotion or pay, they ousted some young and 2375 03:51:03.159 --> 03:51:07.440 vigorous temporary fellow who at least knew something of fighting. If there were stray 2376 03:51:07.520 --> 03:51:13.040 passages in the King's regulations, which he did not know by heart. And 2377 03:51:13.120 --> 03:51:20.959 in about a week their commands were discontented and slack. In about two months 2378 03:51:20.120 --> 03:51:24.399 they were evacuated sick, for they had no guts, most of them. 2379 03:51:26.000 --> 03:51:31.000 And that was the finest moment of their careers for them and for US. 2380 03:51:31.719 --> 03:51:37.520 Lieutenant Colonel W. K. Philpot, substantive captain, after god knows how 2381 03:51:37.520 --> 03:51:43.520 many years, outdutted them all, though to give him his due, he 2382 03:51:43.600 --> 03:51:48.879 had more staying power than most of them. He took over the battalion when 2383 03:51:48.920 --> 03:51:54.399 Colonel Roberts was wounded, and the contrast was painfully acute. I was his 2384 03:51:54.559 --> 03:52:00.920 adjutant for twelve months in all, and an adjutant knows more most things about 2385 03:52:00.959 --> 03:52:05.840 his co O. He was a short, stoutish fellow with beady eyes and 2386 03:52:05.959 --> 03:52:13.319 an unsuccessful mustache, slightly gray like a stubble field at dawn. He had 2387 03:52:13.360 --> 03:52:18.840 all the exaggerated respect for authority and his superiors of the old school regular, 2388 03:52:20.440 --> 03:52:26.000 with none of its sincerity. For while he said things about the brigadier which 2389 03:52:26.079 --> 03:52:31.239 no colonel should say before a junior officer, he positively cringed when they met, 2390 03:52:31.760 --> 03:52:39.360 And though he bullied defaulters and blustered about his independence before juniors. There 2391 03:52:39.479 --> 03:52:43.319 was no superior military goose to whom he would have said the most different bow. 2392 03:52:46.120 --> 03:52:50.639 He was lazy beyond words, physically and mentally. But to see him 2393 03:52:50.719 --> 03:52:54.959 double out of the mess when a general visited the village was an education. 2394 03:52:56.000 --> 03:53:01.719 It made one want to vomit. Then, of course, he believed very 2395 03:53:01.760 --> 03:53:07.719 strongly in the book, not wholly writ but all that mass of small red 2396 03:53:07.840 --> 03:53:13.879 publications, which expound the whole art of being a soldier in a style calculated 2397 03:53:13.920 --> 03:53:20.559 to invest with mystery the most obvious truths. It says it in the book 2398 03:53:22.159 --> 03:53:26.200 was his greatest gambit, and a good one too. Yet he betrayed the 2399 03:53:26.280 --> 03:53:33.799 most astonishing ignorance of the book. Any second lieutenant could have turned him inside 2400 03:53:33.799 --> 03:53:39.680 out in two minutes on field service regulations, and just where you expected him 2401 03:53:39.719 --> 03:53:46.120 to be really efficient and knowledgeable, the conduct of trials and military law and 2402 03:53:46.159 --> 03:53:52.600 so on, he made the most hideous elementary howlers. But ignorance is easily 2403 03:53:52.639 --> 03:53:58.479 forgivable if a man will work, if a man will learn. But he 2404 03:53:58.520 --> 03:54:03.159 would do neither. He left everything to somebody else, the second in command, 2405 03:54:03.479 --> 03:54:09.639 the adjutant, the orderly room. He would not say what he wanted, 2406 03:54:09.120 --> 03:54:13.840 he very seldom knew, and when in despair you made out his orders 2407 03:54:13.920 --> 03:54:20.520 for him, he invariably disagreed. When he disagreed, he was as obstinate 2408 03:54:20.600 --> 03:54:26.000 as a mule, without being so clever. When he did agree, it 2409 03:54:26.040 --> 03:54:31.440 took half an hour to explain the simplest arrangement. If you asked him to 2410 03:54:31.479 --> 03:54:37.159 sign some correspondence for the brigade, he was too lazy and told you to 2411 03:54:37.200 --> 03:54:43.680 sign it yourself. And when you did that, he apologized to the brigade 2412 03:54:43.680 --> 03:54:50.639 for the irregularities of his adjutant, a temporary fellow, you know, for 2413 03:54:50.799 --> 03:54:56.239 he had an ill concealed contempt for all temporaries, and that was perhaps one 2414 03:54:56.280 --> 03:55:01.799 reason why we disliked him so much. He would not believe that a young 2415 03:55:01.920 --> 03:55:07.799 officer who had not spent twenty years drinking in mess rooms could have any military 2416 03:55:07.920 --> 03:55:13.000 value whatever. Moreover, it annoyed him intensely, And here he had my 2417 03:55:13.120 --> 03:55:20.040 sympathy to see such men enjoying the same pay or rank as he had enjoyed 2418 03:55:20.120 --> 03:55:26.479 during the almost apocryphal period of his captaincy, and having himself learned practically nothing 2419 03:55:26.600 --> 03:55:33.239 during that long lotus time, it was inconceivable to him that any man, 2420 03:55:33.639 --> 03:55:37.760 however vigorous or intelligent, could have learned anything in two years of war. 2421 03:55:39.479 --> 03:55:43.520 Now let me repeat that I do not believe him to be typical of the 2422 03:55:43.559 --> 03:55:48.680 old Army. I know he was not, thank God. But this is 2423 03:55:48.719 --> 03:55:54.680 a history of what happened to Harry, and Colonel Philpit was one of the 2424 03:55:54.760 --> 03:56:01.280 things which happened very forcibly. So I give him to you as we found 2425 03:56:01.360 --> 03:56:05.959 him. And since he may be alive, I may say that his name 2426 03:56:05.079 --> 03:56:11.239 is fictitious, though there are unhappily so many of him alive that I have 2427 03:56:11.319 --> 03:56:16.159 no fears that he will recognize himself. He would not be the same man 2428 03:56:16.280 --> 03:56:22.799 if he did. We went out for a fortnight's rest after that battle, 2429 03:56:22.239 --> 03:56:28.079 and Harry had trouble with him almost at once. He had amused and irritated 2430 03:56:28.159 --> 03:56:35.200 Harry from the first the old duds always did. For his respect for authority 2431 03:56:35.319 --> 03:56:39.840 was very civilian and youthful in character. He took a man for what he 2432 03:56:41.079 --> 03:56:46.360 was, and if he decided, he was good stood by him loyally forever 2433 03:56:46.399 --> 03:56:50.879 after. If he did not, he was severe, not to say intolerant, 2434 03:56:52.479 --> 03:56:58.159 and regrettably lacking in that veneration. For the old and incapable, which 2435 03:56:58.239 --> 03:57:05.280 is the soul of military discipline. Philpit's arrogance on the subject of temporaries annoyed 2436 03:57:05.360 --> 03:57:09.159 him intensely. It annoyed us all. And this I think it was that 2437 03:57:09.280 --> 03:57:15.879 made him say a very unfortunate thing. He was up before the CEO with 2438 03:57:16.000 --> 03:57:20.959 some trifling request or other. I forget what, and somehow the question of 2439 03:57:22.000 --> 03:57:28.440 his seniority and service came up. Incidentally, Harry remarked quite mildly that he 2440 03:57:28.520 --> 03:57:35.920 believed he was nearly due for promotion. Colonel Philpit gave as close an imitation 2441 03:57:35.959 --> 03:57:39.840 of a lively man as I ever saw him achieve. He nearly had a 2442 03:57:39.920 --> 03:57:46.680 fit. I forget all, he said. He thundered for a long time, 2443 03:57:46.239 --> 03:57:52.879 banging his fist on the King's regulations and knocking everything off the rickety table. 2444 03:57:52.680 --> 03:58:00.319 But this was the climax promotion by God. And how old are you, 2445 03:58:00.319 --> 03:58:05.120 young man, and how much service have you seen? Let me tell 2446 03:58:05.159 --> 03:58:09.920 you this, Master Penrose, When I was your age, I hadn't begun 2447 03:58:09.959 --> 03:58:16.000 to think about promotion. And I did fifteen years as a captain, fifteen 2448 03:58:16.239 --> 03:58:24.879 solid years, And I don't wonder, said Harry. It was very unfortunate 2449 03:58:26.559 --> 03:58:31.440 when we went back to the line, Harry was detailed for many working parties, 2450 03:58:31.719 --> 03:58:35.920 and some of them, particularly the first, were very nasty. The 2451 03:58:37.079 --> 03:58:43.719 days of comfortable walking in communication trenches were over. We were in captured ground, 2452 03:58:43.000 --> 03:58:48.799 churned up by our own fire, and all communication with the front was 2453 03:58:48.920 --> 03:58:54.319 over the open over the shell holes. Harry was told off to take a 2454 03:58:54.440 --> 03:58:58.879 ration party carrying rations up to the battalion in the line one hundred men. 2455 03:59:01.360 --> 03:59:05.520 These were bad jobs to do. It meant three quarters of a mile along 2456 03:59:05.559 --> 03:59:11.239 an uphill road heavily shelled. Then there was a mile over the shell hole 2457 03:59:11.360 --> 03:59:18.040 country where there were no landmarks or duckboards or anything to guide you. For 2458 03:59:18.120 --> 03:59:24.879 a single man in daylight with a map. Navigation was difficult enough in this 2459 03:59:24.120 --> 03:59:30.479 uniform wilderness until you had been over it a time or two. To go 2460 03:59:30.600 --> 03:59:35.520 over it for the first time in the dark with a hundred men carrying heavy 2461 03:59:35.559 --> 03:59:39.280 loads was the kind of thing that makes men transfer to the flying core. 2462 03:59:41.920 --> 03:59:46.879 Harry got past the road with the loss of three men only there at any 2463 03:59:46.959 --> 03:59:52.879 rate. He went straight ahead, however slowly, But when he left the 2464 03:59:52.000 --> 03:59:58.000 road his real troubles began. It was pitched, dark and drizzling, and 2465 03:59:58.159 --> 04:00:05.040 the way was still uphill with those unhappy carrying parties, where three fourths of 2466 04:00:05.040 --> 04:00:09.760 the men carried two heavy sacks of bread and tinned meat and other food, 2467 04:00:11.559 --> 04:00:16.639 and the rest two petrol tins of water or a jar of rum, or 2468 04:00:16.799 --> 04:00:22.479 rifle oil or whale oil, besides a rifle and a bandolier, and two 2469 04:00:22.559 --> 04:00:28.120 respirators and a greatcoat. You must move with exquisite slowness, or you will 2470 04:00:28.200 --> 04:00:33.399 lose your whole party in a hundred yards. And even when you are just 2471 04:00:33.600 --> 04:00:39.360 putting one foot in front of another, moving so slowly that it maddens you, 2472 04:00:39.200 --> 04:00:45.680 there are halts and hitches every few yards. A man misses his footing 2473 04:00:45.760 --> 04:00:50.440 and slides down into a crater with his awful load. The hole is full 2474 04:00:50.479 --> 04:00:56.760 of foul green water, and he must be hauled out quickly lest he drown. 2475 04:00:58.280 --> 04:01:03.000 Halfway down the line man halts to ease his load, or shift his 2476 04:01:03.159 --> 04:01:07.520 rifle, or scratch his nose. When he goes on, he can see 2477 04:01:07.600 --> 04:01:13.120 no one ahead of him, and the cry not in touch comes sullenly up 2478 04:01:13.159 --> 04:01:18.639 to the front. Or you cross the path of another party burdened as yours 2479 04:01:20.680 --> 04:01:24.600 in the dark, or against the flaring skyline. They look like yours, 2480 04:01:26.040 --> 04:01:31.399 bent murky shapes with bumps upon them, And some of your men trail off 2481 04:01:31.440 --> 04:01:35.319 with the other party. And though you pity your men more than yourself, 2482 04:01:35.879 --> 04:01:41.879 it is difficult sometimes to be gentle with them, difficult not to yield to 2483 04:01:41.920 --> 04:01:48.639 the intense exasperation of it all, and curse foolishly. But Harry was good 2484 04:01:48.639 --> 04:01:52.120 with his men, and they stumbled on, slipping, muttering, with a 2485 04:01:52.239 --> 04:01:58.760 dull ache at the shoulders and a dogged rage in their hearts. He was 2486 04:01:58.840 --> 04:02:03.159 trying to steer by the compass, and he was aiming for a point given 2487 04:02:03.239 --> 04:02:07.479 him on the map. The rendezvous for the party he was to meet. 2488 04:02:07.120 --> 04:02:13.719 This point was the junction of three trenches, But as all trenches thereabouts had 2489 04:02:13.719 --> 04:02:18.920 been so blotted out as to be almost indistinguishable from casual shell holes, it 2490 04:02:20.000 --> 04:02:24.159 was not so good a rendezvous as it had seemed to the brigade. However, 2491 04:02:24.280 --> 04:02:28.040 Harry managed to find it, or believed that he had found it, 2492 04:02:28.559 --> 04:02:33.920 for in that murk and blackness, nothing was certain. If he had found 2493 04:02:33.920 --> 04:02:37.680 it, the other party had not, for there was no one there. 2494 04:02:39.920 --> 04:02:43.840 They might be late, they might be lost, they might be waiting elsewhere. 2495 04:02:46.000 --> 04:02:50.479 So Harry sent out a scout or two and waited while the men laid 2496 04:02:50.520 --> 04:02:56.280 down in the muddy ruins of the trench and dozed unhappily. And while they 2497 04:02:56.360 --> 04:03:01.440 waited, the bosch, who had been flinging big shell about at random since 2498 04:03:01.559 --> 04:03:05.600 dusk, took it into his head to plaster these old trenches with five nines. 2499 04:03:07.879 --> 04:03:13.360 Harry ran or floundered along the line, telling the men to lie close 2500 04:03:13.440 --> 04:03:18.440 where they were. There was indeed nothing else to do, but it gave 2501 04:03:18.479 --> 04:03:24.479 the men confidence, and none of them melted away as he ran. A 2502 04:03:24.600 --> 04:03:30.000 big one burst very near and knocked him flat, but he was untouched. 2503 04:03:31.079 --> 04:03:35.920 It is marvelous how local the effect of he can be. For about ten 2504 04:03:35.959 --> 04:03:41.799 minutes they had a bad time, and then it ceased suddenly, And now 2505 04:03:43.079 --> 04:03:48.399 was one of those crucial moments which distinguish a good officer from a bad or 2506 04:03:48.440 --> 04:03:54.239 even an ordinary officer. It was easy to say, here I am at 2507 04:03:54.239 --> 04:03:58.040 the rendezvous. By this time Harry had got his bearings a little by the 2508 04:03:58.159 --> 04:04:05.399 lights and knew he was in the right spot with these something rations. The 2509 04:04:05.479 --> 04:04:09.239 men are done and a bit shaken, so am I. The other people 2510 04:04:09.319 --> 04:04:15.440 haven't turned up if they want their rations. They can damned well come here 2511 04:04:15.479 --> 04:04:20.639 and get them. I've done my part, and I'm going home. But 2512 04:04:20.920 --> 04:04:28.479 a real good officer with a conscience and an imagination would say, yes, 2513 04:04:28.879 --> 04:04:31.440 but I've been sent up here to get these rations to the men in the 2514 04:04:31.559 --> 04:04:37.319 line. My men will have a rest tomorrow and some sleep and some good 2515 04:04:37.399 --> 04:04:43.799 food. The men in the line now will still be in the line with 2516 04:04:43.959 --> 04:04:48.079 no sleep and little rest. And if these rations are left here in the 2517 04:04:48.200 --> 04:04:54.479 mud and not found before dawn, they'll have no food either. And whatever 2518 04:04:54.559 --> 04:04:58.719 other people may do or not do, it's up to me to get these 2519 04:05:00.040 --> 04:05:03.799 rashings up there somehow. If we have to walk all night and carry them 2520 04:05:03.879 --> 04:05:09.399 right up to the front line ourselves, and I'm not going home till I've 2521 04:05:09.440 --> 04:05:13.719 done it, I don't know, but I think that that's the sort of 2522 04:05:13.760 --> 04:05:18.879 thing Harry said to himself. And anyhow, after the row with Philpit, 2523 04:05:20.360 --> 04:05:24.799 he was particularly anxious to make good. So he got his men out and 2524 04:05:24.879 --> 04:05:31.799 told them about it all, and they floundered on. It was raining hard 2525 04:05:31.959 --> 04:05:35.719 now with a bitter wind. When they passed the crest of the hill. 2526 04:05:35.840 --> 04:05:39.719 Harry had a vague idea of the direction of the line, so long as 2527 04:05:39.760 --> 04:05:45.079 they were on the slope, but on the flat, when they had dodged 2528 04:05:45.200 --> 04:05:48.920 round a few hundred shell holes, halting and going on and halting again, 2529 04:05:50.719 --> 04:05:56.600 all sense of direction departed, and very soon they were hopelessly lost. The 2530 04:05:56.760 --> 04:06:01.239 flares were no good, for the line curved, and there seemed to be 2531 04:06:01.360 --> 04:06:07.000 lights all around, going up mistily through the rain in a wide circle. 2532 04:06:07.440 --> 04:06:13.319 Once you were properly lost, the compass was useless, for you might be 2533 04:06:13.360 --> 04:06:18.479 in the bosch lines, you might be anywhere. At such moments, a 2534 04:06:18.600 --> 04:06:24.479 kind of mad, desperate self pity, born of misery and weariness and rage, 2535 04:06:24.959 --> 04:06:28.600 takes hold of the infantryman, And if he carries a load, he 2536 04:06:28.719 --> 04:06:33.879 is truly ready to fall down and sleep where he is, or die. 2537 04:06:35.760 --> 04:06:41.399 And in the wretched youth and charge there is a sense of impotence and responsibility 2538 04:06:41.719 --> 04:06:46.079 that makes his stomach sink within him. Some of the men began to growl 2539 04:06:46.120 --> 04:06:52.920 a little, but Harry held on despairingly, And then by God's grace, 2540 04:06:52.200 --> 04:06:58.319 they ran into another party, an nco and a few men. These were 2541 04:06:58.360 --> 04:07:03.200 the party, or some of them, that should have met them at the 2542 04:07:03.280 --> 04:07:07.639 rendezvous. They too had been lost, and were now wandering back to the 2543 04:07:07.719 --> 04:07:15.319 line. Well, Harry handed over the rations and turned home well pleased with 2544 04:07:15.399 --> 04:07:20.440 himself. He was too sick of the whole affair, and it was too 2545 04:07:20.559 --> 04:07:24.239 dark and beastly to think of getting a receipt. It was a pity, 2546 04:07:24.920 --> 04:07:31.239 for while he trudged home, the NCO, as we afterwards heard, was 2547 04:07:31.360 --> 04:07:35.520 making a mess of the whole business. Whether he had not enough men, 2548 04:07:35.840 --> 04:07:41.719 or perhaps lost them, or miscalculated the amount of rations, or what is 2549 04:07:41.799 --> 04:07:46.879 not clear. But half of all that precious food was found lying in the 2550 04:07:48.040 --> 04:07:52.360 mud at noon the next day, when it was too late, and half 2551 04:07:52.399 --> 04:07:58.280 the battalion in the line went very short. Then the colonel rang up philpit 2552 04:07:58.680 --> 04:08:03.799 and complained bitterly about the conduct of the officer in charge of our ration party. 2553 04:08:05.000 --> 04:08:11.600 Philpott sent for Harry and accused him hotly of dumping the rations carelessly anywhere, 2554 04:08:11.079 --> 04:08:18.200 of not finishing his job. Harry gave his account of the affair quite 2555 04:08:18.239 --> 04:08:22.399 simply, without enlarging on the bad time he had had, though that was 2556 04:08:22.479 --> 04:08:28.639 clear enough to a man with any knowledge. But he could not show a 2557 04:08:28.760 --> 04:08:35.000 receipt. Philpot was the kind of man who valued receipts more than righteousness. 2558 04:08:35.959 --> 04:08:41.360 He refused to believe Harry straightforward tail cursed him for a lazy swine, and 2559 04:08:41.520 --> 04:08:48.799 sent him to apologize to the Colonel of the Blanks. That officer did listen 2560 04:08:48.840 --> 04:08:54.399 to Harry's story, believed it, and apologized to him. Harry was a 2561 04:08:54.440 --> 04:09:00.239 little soothed, but from that day I know there was a great bitterness in 2562 04:09:00.319 --> 04:09:05.600 his heart, for he had done a difficult job very well, and had 2563 04:09:05.639 --> 04:09:11.319 come back justly proud of himself and his men. And to have the work 2564 04:09:11.440 --> 04:09:18.879 wasted by a bungling nco and his word doubted by a filpit, and that 2565 04:09:18.120 --> 04:09:26.239 I may call the beginning of the second stage. End of chapter eight recording 2566 04:09:26.280 --> 04:09:43.239 by Roger Maline. Chapter nine of the Secret Battle by A. P. 2567 04:09:43.559 --> 04:09:50.200 Herbert. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Roger Maline. 2568 04:09:54.200 --> 04:09:58.840 For after that Harry began to be in a bad way again. That 2569 04:09:58.040 --> 04:10:03.200 shelling in the n and the nearer concussion of the shell that knocked him over 2570 04:10:03.760 --> 04:10:07.680 had been one of those capital shocks of which I have spoken. From that 2571 04:10:07.799 --> 04:10:13.639 time on, shell fire in the open became a special terror, a new 2572 04:10:13.799 --> 04:10:20.399 favorite fear. Afterwards he told me so, and all that winter we had 2573 04:10:20.440 --> 04:10:24.200 shell fire in the open. Even the lines were not trenches, only a 2574 04:10:24.239 --> 04:10:31.200 string of scattered shell holes garrisoned by a few men. Everywhere, night and 2575 04:10:31.360 --> 04:10:35.959 day. You had that naked feeling. Yet in France, at the worst, 2576 04:10:37.280 --> 04:10:41.920 given proper rest and variety, with a chance to nurse his courage and 2577 04:10:41.120 --> 04:10:46.399 soothe his nerves, a resolute man could struggle on a long time after he 2578 04:10:46.479 --> 04:10:54.959 began to crack. But Harry had no rest, no chance. The affair 2579 04:10:54.040 --> 04:11:00.920 Filpit was having a rich harvest. For about three weeks in the February of 2580 04:11:00.959 --> 04:11:07.159 that awful winter, the battalion was employed solely unworking parties, all sorts of 2581 04:11:07.200 --> 04:11:13.520 them digging, carrying behind the line in the line, soft jobs, terrible 2582 04:11:13.639 --> 04:11:20.639 jobs. Now, as adjutant, I used to take particular care that the 2583 04:11:20.680 --> 04:11:24.360 safe jobs in the rear should be fairly shared among the companies in a rough 2584 04:11:24.479 --> 04:11:30.440 rotation, and that no officers or men should have too many of the bad 2585 04:11:30.479 --> 04:11:37.280 ones the night carrying parties to the front line. But about now Colonel Philpit 2586 04:11:37.440 --> 04:11:43.760 began to exert himself about these parties. He actually issued orders about the arrangements, 2587 04:11:45.360 --> 04:11:50.680 and whether by accident or design, his orders had this particular effect that 2588 04:11:50.799 --> 04:11:56.440 Harry took about three times as many of the dangerous parties as anyone else. 2589 04:11:58.079 --> 04:12:01.559 We were in a country of rolling down down, with long trough like valleys 2590 04:12:01.600 --> 04:12:07.719 of ravines between. To get to the front line, you had to cross 2591 04:12:07.840 --> 04:12:11.479 two of these valleys, and in each of them the Bosh put a terrific 2592 04:12:11.559 --> 04:12:18.520 barrage all night and every night. The second one, the Valley of Death, 2593 04:12:18.239 --> 04:12:22.920 was about as near to inferno as I wished to see, for it 2594 04:12:22.000 --> 04:12:30.079 was enfilated from both ends, and you had shellfire from three directions. Well, 2595 04:12:30.399 --> 04:12:35.120 for three weeks Harry took a party through this valley four or five nights 2596 04:12:35.120 --> 04:12:39.440 a week. Each party meant a double passage through two corners of hell, 2597 04:12:41.000 --> 04:12:46.760 with a string of weary men to keep together and encourage and command with all 2598 04:12:46.799 --> 04:12:52.079 that maddening accumulation of difficulties I have tried already to describe. And at the 2599 04:12:52.200 --> 04:12:56.440 end of that winter, after all he had done, it was too much, 2600 04:12:58.559 --> 04:13:03.440 I protested to the But it was no good. Master Penrose can go 2601 04:13:03.479 --> 04:13:07.719 on with these parties, he said, till he learns how to do them 2602 04:13:07.760 --> 04:13:13.799 properly. After ten days of this, Harry began to be afraid of himself, 2603 04:13:15.239 --> 04:13:18.840 or as he put it, I don't know if I can stand much 2604 04:13:18.920 --> 04:13:24.959 more of this. All his old distrust of himself, which lately I think 2605 04:13:24.959 --> 04:13:31.399 he had very successfully kept away, came creeping back. But he made no 2606 04:13:31.440 --> 04:13:37.200 complaint. He did not ask me to intercede with Philpit. The more he 2607 04:13:37.319 --> 04:13:41.639 hated and feared these parties, the worse he felt. The keener became his 2608 04:13:41.719 --> 04:13:48.520 determination to stick it out, to beat Philpit at his own game, or 2609 04:13:48.799 --> 04:13:54.479 so I imagine, for by the third week there was no doubt what is 2610 04:13:54.520 --> 04:13:58.520 called his nerve was clean gone, or as he put it to me in 2611 04:13:58.559 --> 04:14:05.280 the soul's tongue, I've got complete wind up. He would have given anything 2612 04:14:05.520 --> 04:14:11.239 except his pride, to have escaped one of those parties. He thought about 2613 04:14:11.280 --> 04:14:18.000 them all day. I did manage, in sheer defiance of Philpot, to 2614 04:14:18.040 --> 04:14:22.719 take him off one of them. But it was only sheer, dogged willpower 2615 04:14:22.360 --> 04:14:26.920 and perhaps the knowledge that we were to be relieved the following week, which 2616 04:14:26.959 --> 04:14:31.559 carried him through to the end of it. If we had not gone out, 2617 04:14:31.719 --> 04:14:37.280 I don't know what would have happened, but I can guess. And 2618 04:14:37.360 --> 04:14:43.280 so Philpot finally broke his nerve, but he was still keen and resolute to 2619 04:14:43.360 --> 04:14:48.920 go on. In spite of the bitterness in his heart, Philpot and other 2620 04:14:48.959 --> 04:14:54.920 things had still to break his spirit, and the other things were many that 2621 04:14:56.000 --> 04:15:01.440 winter. It was a long, cold, comfortless winter. Billets became more 2622 04:15:01.479 --> 04:15:09.000 and more broken and windowless and lousy. Firewood vanished, and there was little 2623 04:15:09.120 --> 04:15:13.639 coal on the high slopes. There was a bitter wind, and men went 2624 04:15:13.760 --> 04:15:22.399 sick in hundreds pneumonia, fever, frostbite. All dugouts were damp and chilling 2625 04:15:22.520 --> 04:15:26.280 and greasy with mud, or full of the acrid wood smoke that tortured the 2626 04:15:26.399 --> 04:15:33.840 eyes. There were night advances in the snow, where lightly wounded men perished 2627 04:15:33.840 --> 04:15:39.879 of exposure before dawn. For a fortnight we lived in tents on a hilltop 2628 04:15:39.000 --> 04:15:48.639 covered with snow, and one day Harry discovered he was lousy then socially, 2629 04:15:48.000 --> 04:15:52.719 though it seems a strange thing to say, these were dull days for Harry. 2630 04:15:54.920 --> 04:16:00.520 Few people realize how much an infantryman's life is lightened if he has opinions 2631 04:16:00.600 --> 04:16:04.879 of his own kind. Not necessarily of the same class, though it usually 2632 04:16:04.920 --> 04:16:11.079 comes to that, but of the same tastes and education and experience. Men 2633 04:16:11.120 --> 04:16:18.000 who make the same kind of jokes in the line it matters little a man 2634 04:16:18.079 --> 04:16:22.760 as a man, as the press will tell you. But in the evenings 2635 04:16:22.799 --> 04:16:26.959 out at rest, it was good and cheering to sit with the old crowd 2636 04:16:26.159 --> 04:16:33.600 and exchange old stories of Gallipoli and Oxford and London, even to argue with 2637 04:16:33.719 --> 04:16:38.000 Eustace about the public schools, to be with men who like the same songs, 2638 04:16:38.760 --> 04:16:44.360 the same tunes on the gramophone, who did not always ask for my 2639 04:16:44.520 --> 04:16:51.000 Dixie Bird or the Green Woman waltz. And now there was none of the 2640 04:16:51.079 --> 04:16:56.799 old crowd left, only Harry and myself. Harry with a company now, 2641 04:16:56.319 --> 04:17:03.920 and myself very busy at headquarters. And Harry's company were very dull, men 2642 04:17:03.479 --> 04:17:10.760 promoted MCO's mostly good fellows, all very good in the line, but they 2643 04:17:10.760 --> 04:17:15.399 were not the old crowd. Now. Instead of those great evenings we used 2644 04:17:15.399 --> 04:17:22.639 to have with the white wine and the music and old George dancing, evenings 2645 04:17:22.639 --> 04:17:26.280 that have come down in the history of the Battalion, as our battles have 2646 04:17:26.360 --> 04:17:32.120 done, evenings that kept the spirits strong. In the blackest times, there 2647 04:17:32.159 --> 04:17:37.520 were morose men with wooden faces, sitting silently over some whiskey and battalion orders. 2648 04:17:38.360 --> 04:17:44.760 And Hewett was dead, the laughing, lovable Hewett. That was the 2649 04:17:44.879 --> 04:17:48.360 black heart of it. When a man becomes part of the great machine, 2650 04:17:48.680 --> 04:17:55.159 he is generally supposed, I don't know why, to surrender with his body, 2651 04:17:55.639 --> 04:18:00.520 his soul, and his affections and all his human tenderness. But it 2652 04:18:00.680 --> 04:18:06.440 is not so. We never talked of Hewett very much. Only there was 2653 04:18:06.559 --> 04:18:11.719 forever a great gap. And sometimes when we tried to be cheerful in the 2654 04:18:11.799 --> 04:18:15.799 evenings as in the old times, and were not, we said to each 2655 04:18:15.799 --> 04:18:22.600 other, Harry and I I wish to God that he was here. Yet 2656 04:18:22.639 --> 04:18:29.840 for long periods I forgot Hewett. Harry never forgot him. Then there was 2657 04:18:29.879 --> 04:18:33.239 something about which I may be wrong, for Harry never mentioned it, and 2658 04:18:33.319 --> 04:18:38.680 I am only guessing from my own opinion. In two years of war he 2659 04:18:38.719 --> 04:18:45.879 had won no kind of metal or distinction except a mention in dispatches, which 2660 04:18:45.959 --> 04:18:52.079 is about as satisfying as a carraway seed to a starving man. In Gallipoli, 2661 04:18:52.200 --> 04:18:56.879 he had done things which in France in modern times would have earned an 2662 04:18:56.920 --> 04:19:03.040 easy decoration, but they were scarce in those days. And in France he 2663 04:19:03.079 --> 04:19:07.840 had done much dogged and difficult work, and a few very courageous, but 2664 04:19:08.000 --> 04:19:15.200 in a military sense, perfectly useless things, nothing dramatic, nothing to catch 2665 04:19:15.239 --> 04:19:19.600 the eye of the brigade. I don't know whether he minded much, but 2666 04:19:19.719 --> 04:19:25.280 I felt it myself very keenly, for I knew that he had started with 2667 04:19:25.399 --> 04:19:32.079 ambitions, and here were fellows with not half his service or courage or capacity, 2668 04:19:32.799 --> 04:19:38.879 just ordinary men with luck ablaze with ribbon. Anyone who says he cares 2669 04:19:40.000 --> 04:19:44.440 nothing about metals is a hypocrite, though most of us care very little. 2670 04:19:45.719 --> 04:19:49.079 But if you believe you have done well, and not only is there nothing 2671 04:19:49.120 --> 04:19:53.000 to show for it, but nothing to show that other people believe it, 2672 04:19:53.559 --> 04:20:00.159 you can't help caring. And then, on top of it, when of 2673 04:20:00.200 --> 04:20:04.399 a genuine sense of bitter injustice, when you know that your own most modest 2674 04:20:04.520 --> 04:20:11.639 estimate of yourself is exalted compared with the estimate of the man who commands you, 2675 04:20:11.639 --> 04:20:18.680 you begin to have black moods. Harry had black moods. All these 2676 04:20:18.719 --> 04:20:25.200 torments accumulated and broke his spirit. He lost his keenness, his cheerfulness, 2677 04:20:25.639 --> 04:20:30.520 and his health. Once a man starts on that path, his past history 2678 04:20:30.600 --> 04:20:37.280 finds him out like an old wound. Some men take to drink and are 2679 04:20:37.360 --> 04:20:44.120 disgraced. In Harry's case it was Gallipoli. No man who had a bad 2680 04:20:44.120 --> 04:20:48.559 time in that place ever got over it in body or soul. And when 2681 04:20:48.639 --> 04:20:53.520 France or some other campaign began to work upon them, it was seen that 2682 04:20:53.559 --> 04:21:00.719 there was something missing in their resisting power. They broke out with old diseases 2683 04:21:00.760 --> 04:21:07.559 and old fears, the legacies of Gallipoli. Harry grew pale and nervous, 2684 04:21:07.920 --> 04:21:14.520 and hunted to look at, and he had a touch of dysenterry. But 2685 04:21:14.680 --> 04:21:19.200 the worst of the poison was in his mind and heart for a long time, 2686 04:21:19.360 --> 04:21:23.399 as I have said, since he felt the beginning of those old doubts 2687 04:21:23.879 --> 04:21:30.879 and saw himself starting downhill. He had striven anxiously to keep his name high 2688 04:21:30.000 --> 04:21:36.840 in men's opinion, for all liked him and believed in him. He had 2689 04:21:36.879 --> 04:21:41.639 been ready for anything, and done his work with a conscientious pride. But 2690 04:21:41.840 --> 04:21:47.159 now this bitterness was on him. He seemed to have ceased to care what 2691 04:21:47.360 --> 04:21:52.680 happened or what men thought of him. He had unreasonable fits of temper. 2692 04:21:52.559 --> 04:22:00.159 He became distrustful and cynical. I thought then sometimes of the day when he 2693 04:22:00.159 --> 04:22:04.520 had looked at Troy and wanted to be like Achilles. It was painful to 2694 04:22:04.559 --> 04:22:10.879 me to hear him talking as Eustace used to talk, suspicious, intolerant, 2695 04:22:11.280 --> 04:22:17.479 incredulous. I thought how Harry had once hated that kind of talk, and 2696 04:22:17.639 --> 04:22:21.799 it was most significant of the change that had come over the good companion I 2697 04:22:21.840 --> 04:22:27.000 had known. Yet sometimes when the sun shone, and once when we rode 2698 04:22:27.040 --> 04:22:33.879 back into Albert and dined quietly alone, that mask of bitterness fell away. 2699 04:22:33.959 --> 04:22:38.319 There were flashes of the old, cheerful Harry, and I had hopes. 2700 04:22:40.680 --> 04:22:45.799 I hoped Philpit would be killed, but he survived, for he was very 2701 04:22:45.879 --> 04:22:51.559 careful, and though as I have said, he stuck it for a long 2702 04:22:51.680 --> 04:22:56.559 time, he was by no means the gallant fire eater you would have imagined 2703 04:22:56.600 --> 04:23:03.079 from his treatment of defaulters round the line. Just before dawn was enough for 2704 04:23:03.159 --> 04:23:07.879 him. In that sort of country, things are quiet then and you can 2705 04:23:07.920 --> 04:23:12.559 see what's going on. He liked it best when things were quiet, so 2706 04:23:12.719 --> 04:23:18.120 did all of us, and I don't blame him for that. But that 2707 04:23:18.319 --> 04:23:25.319 winter there was a thick crop of siw's. Siw is the short title for 2708 04:23:25.360 --> 04:23:30.319 a man who has been evacuated with self inflicted wounds, shot himself in the 2709 04:23:30.399 --> 04:23:36.479 foot or held a finger over the muzzle of his rifle, or dropped a 2710 04:23:36.520 --> 04:23:41.040 great boulder on his foot, done himself any reckless injury to escape from the 2711 04:23:41.079 --> 04:23:45.840 misery of it all. It was always a marvel to me that any man 2712 04:23:45.879 --> 04:23:51.840 who could find courage to do such things could not find courage to go on. 2713 04:23:52.239 --> 04:23:56.000 I suppose they felt it would bring them the certainty of a little respite, 2714 04:23:56.600 --> 04:24:02.479 and beyond that they did not care for it was the uncertainty of their 2715 04:24:02.559 --> 04:24:07.399 life that had broken them. You could not help being sorry for these men, 2716 04:24:07.879 --> 04:24:11.360 even though you despised them. It made you sick to think that any 2717 04:24:11.399 --> 04:24:17.200 man who had come voluntarily to fight for his country could be brought so low, 2718 04:24:17.879 --> 04:24:22.479 that humanity could be so degraded exactly where it was being so ennobled. 2719 04:24:23.120 --> 04:24:30.440 But Philpot had no such qualms. He was ruthless, and necessarily so. 2720 04:24:30.479 --> 04:24:37.239 But beyond that he was brutal. He bullied when they came before him, 2721 04:24:37.479 --> 04:24:42.799 healed of their wounds, haggard, miserable wisps of men. He kept them 2722 04:24:42.840 --> 04:24:48.639 standing there while he told them at length exactly how low they had sunk. 2723 04:24:48.680 --> 04:24:53.280 They knew that well enough, poor devils, and flung at them a rich 2724 04:24:53.360 --> 04:25:00.479 vocabulary of abuse, words of cowardice and dishonor, which are strictly accurate but 2725 04:25:00.680 --> 04:25:07.840 highly unnecessary. For these men were going back to duty. Now they had 2726 04:25:07.879 --> 04:25:11.680 done their punishment, though the worst of it was still to come. All 2727 04:25:11.719 --> 04:25:17.440 they needed was a few quiet words of encouragement from a strong man to a 2728 04:25:17.479 --> 04:25:22.319 weaker, a little human sympathy, and that appeal to a man's honor which 2729 04:25:22.360 --> 04:25:29.559 so seldom fails if it is rightly made well. This did not surprise me. 2730 04:25:29.639 --> 04:25:33.680 In Philpit, he had no surprises for me. By now. What 2731 04:25:33.879 --> 04:25:41.159 did surprise me was Harry's intolerant, even cruel comments on the cases of the 2732 04:25:41.360 --> 04:25:47.159 SIWs. He had always had a real sympathy with the men. He knew 2733 04:25:47.159 --> 04:25:52.680 the strange workings of their minds and all the wretchedness of their lives. He 2734 04:25:52.799 --> 04:25:59.200 understood them, and yet here he was as scornful as Prussian on the subject 2735 04:25:59.239 --> 04:26:04.399 of use, as even Philpit. It was long before I understood this. 2736 04:26:06.120 --> 04:26:08.840 I don't know that I ever did, but I thought it was this, 2737 04:26:10.719 --> 04:26:15.239 that in these wrecks of men he recognized something of his own sufferings, and 2738 04:26:15.360 --> 04:26:21.239 recognizing the disease, he was the more appalled by the remedy they took. 2739 04:26:22.360 --> 04:26:25.719 The kind of thing that had led them to it was the kind of thing 2740 04:26:25.799 --> 04:26:33.399 he had been through was going through there the connection ceased, there was no 2741 04:26:33.440 --> 04:26:37.600 such way out for him. But though it ceased, the connection was so 2742 04:26:37.719 --> 04:26:44.200 close that it was degrading. And this scorn and anger was a kind of 2743 04:26:44.239 --> 04:26:49.600 instinctive self defense put on to assure himself, to assure the world that there 2744 04:26:49.719 --> 04:26:56.200 was no connection, none at all. But I don't know. At the 2745 04:26:56.319 --> 04:27:03.280 end of February, I was wounded and went home without any conceit, without 2746 04:27:03.280 --> 04:27:07.600 exaggerating our friendship. I may say that this was the final blow for Harry. 2747 04:27:08.760 --> 04:27:12.959 I was the last of the old crowd. I was the one man 2748 04:27:14.079 --> 04:27:18.680 who knew the truth of things as between him and Philpit and I went. 2749 04:27:19.319 --> 04:27:25.120 I was hit by a big shell at Wisbang Corner, and Harry saw me 2750 04:27:25.200 --> 04:27:30.600 on the stretcher as we came past d Company on the Bapalm road. He 2751 04:27:30.719 --> 04:27:33.959 walked with me as far as the cookers and was full of concern for my 2752 04:27:34.079 --> 04:27:40.440 wound, which was pretty painful just then. But he bucked me up and 2753 04:27:40.559 --> 04:27:45.200 talked gaily of the good things I was going to, And he said nothing 2754 04:27:45.239 --> 04:27:49.120 of himself. But when he left me there was a look about him. 2755 04:27:49.200 --> 04:27:56.520 What is the word wistful? It is the only one, like a dog 2756 04:27:56.799 --> 04:28:02.680 left behind. While I was still in hospital I had two letters from the 2757 04:28:02.719 --> 04:28:07.600 battalion. The first was from Harry, a long wail about Philpit and the 2758 04:28:07.680 --> 04:28:12.760 dullness of everybody, now that the old crowd were extinct, though he seemed 2759 04:28:12.760 --> 04:28:18.360 to have made good friends of some of the dull ones. At the end 2760 04:28:18.399 --> 04:28:22.440 of that endless winter, when it seemed as if the spring would never come, 2761 04:28:22.200 --> 04:28:26.239 they had pulled out of the line and trekked up north, so that 2762 04:28:26.280 --> 04:28:32.319 there had been little fighting. They were now in shell holes across the high 2763 04:28:32.479 --> 04:28:37.639 ridge in front of Aras, preparing for an advance. The other letter was 2764 04:28:37.719 --> 04:28:44.760 from Old Night, the Quartermaster, dated two months after I left. I 2765 04:28:44.840 --> 04:28:49.760 will give you an extract. Probably by now you will have seen or heard 2766 04:28:49.840 --> 04:28:56.520 from young Penrose. He was hit on the sixteenth, a nasty wound in 2767 04:28:56.559 --> 04:29:00.920 the chest from a splinter. It was rather they're funny, not funny, 2768 04:29:02.159 --> 04:29:06.520 but you know what I mean. How he got it. I was there 2769 04:29:06.600 --> 04:29:11.239 myself, though I didn't see it. I had been up to HQ to 2770 04:29:11.239 --> 04:29:15.479 see about the rations, and there were a lot of us. Johnson, 2771 04:29:15.920 --> 04:29:22.040 he is now adjutant in your place and fellows and so on. Standing outside 2772 04:29:22.280 --> 04:29:26.760 h Q, which is on a hill what you people call a forward slope, 2773 04:29:26.799 --> 04:29:32.559 I believe, and watching our guns bombarding the village. It was a 2774 04:29:32.559 --> 04:29:38.799 remarkable sight, etc. Etc. A long digression. Then the Bosch started 2775 04:29:38.799 --> 04:29:44.639 shelling our hill. He dropped them in pairs, first of all at the 2776 04:29:44.680 --> 04:29:48.920 other end of the hill, about five hundred yards off, and then nearer 2777 04:29:48.959 --> 04:29:55.360 and nearer, about twenty yards at a time. The line they were on 2778 04:29:55.559 --> 04:29:59.239 was pretty near to us, so we thought that dugout would be a good 2779 04:29:59.239 --> 04:30:03.440 place to go to. Penrose was just starting to go back to his company 2780 04:30:03.520 --> 04:30:08.200 when this began, and as we went down, somebody told him he'd better 2781 04:30:08.239 --> 04:30:12.760 wait a bit, but he said no, he wanted to get back. 2782 04:30:15.079 --> 04:30:19.799 I was the last down, and as I disappeared pretty hurriedly, I told 2783 04:30:19.879 --> 04:30:26.040 him not to be a fool, But all he said was this is nothing, 2784 04:30:26.120 --> 04:30:30.440 old bird, you wait till you live up here. I'm going on. 2785 04:30:30.760 --> 04:30:34.399 The next thing we heard was the hell of an explosion on top. 2786 04:30:36.559 --> 04:30:41.959 We ran up afterwards and there he was, about thirty yards off. The 2787 04:30:42.000 --> 04:30:48.120 funny thing is that I understood he rather had the wind up just now and 2788 04:30:48.360 --> 04:30:52.920 was anything but reckless. In fact, someone said he had the dugout disease. 2789 04:30:53.959 --> 04:30:59.959 Otherwise you'd have said he wanted to be killed. I don't know why 2790 04:31:00.239 --> 04:31:04.600 he wasn't asking for it like that. Well, thank god, I'm a 2791 04:31:04.760 --> 04:31:11.879 q M, etc. Etc. I read it all very carefully and wondered 2792 04:31:14.399 --> 04:31:19.159 you'd have said he wanted to be killed. I wondered about that very much. 2793 04:31:21.719 --> 04:31:26.479 And there was a PostScript which interested me. By the way I hear 2794 04:31:26.559 --> 04:31:37.760 Burnett's got the m C for salvage I believe, end of chapter nine recording 2795 04:31:37.799 --> 04:31:48.680 by Roger Maline. Chapter ten of the Secret Battle by A. P. 2796 04:31:48.040 --> 04:31:56.520 Herbert. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Roger Maline. 2797 04:31:59.120 --> 04:32:02.719 I was six months in that hospital, and I did not see Harry 2798 04:32:02.879 --> 04:32:07.719 for seven for I was at Blackpool and he at Lady Radmore's in Kensington. 2799 04:32:08.840 --> 04:32:12.959 His was a quicker business than mine. And when I had finished with the 2800 04:32:14.079 --> 04:32:18.319 hospitals and the homes and came to London for a three weeks lays, he 2801 04:32:18.440 --> 04:32:23.920 was back at the depot. Then he got seven days leave for some mysterious 2802 04:32:23.959 --> 04:32:30.479 reason. I think there was a draft leaving shortly and everybody had some leave, 2803 04:32:30.360 --> 04:32:36.479 and I dined twice with him at home. They had a little house 2804 04:32:36.520 --> 04:32:41.280 in Chelsea, very tastefully furnished by missus Penrose, whom I now saw for 2805 04:32:41.360 --> 04:32:47.200 the first time. But I saw more of her that evening than I did 2806 04:32:47.200 --> 04:32:52.840 of Harry, who was hopelessly entangled with two or three in laws. She 2807 04:32:52.120 --> 04:32:57.159 was a dark, gentle little person, with brown and rather sorrowful eyes. 2808 04:32:59.239 --> 04:33:02.920 When I first saw her, I thought she was never meant to be a 2809 04:33:02.920 --> 04:33:07.639 soldier's wife, But after we had talked a little, I added, but 2810 04:33:07.799 --> 04:33:11.720 she is a good one. She was clearly very much in love with Harry 2811 04:33:12.200 --> 04:33:17.400 and delighted to meet someone who had been with him in France and was fond 2812 04:33:17.439 --> 04:33:22.159 of him. For like all wives, she soon discovered that. But all 2813 04:33:22.200 --> 04:33:26.200 the time I felt that there were questions she wanted to ask me and could 2814 04:33:26.240 --> 04:33:30.959 not. I will not pretend to tell you how she was dressed, because 2815 04:33:32.000 --> 04:33:37.759 I don't know. I seldom notice, and then I never remember. But 2816 04:33:37.919 --> 04:33:41.599 she appealed to me very much, and I made up my mind to look 2817 04:33:41.599 --> 04:33:45.720 after her interests if I ever had the chance, if there was ever a 2818 04:33:45.799 --> 04:33:51.159 question between Harry and a single man. I had no chance of a talk 2819 04:33:51.159 --> 04:33:55.959 with Harry, and noticed only that he seemed pretty fit again, but sleepless 2820 04:33:56.040 --> 04:34:00.200 looking. The second night I went there was the last night of Harry's leave. 2821 04:34:02.200 --> 04:34:04.479 If I had known that when I was asked, I think I should 2822 04:34:04.479 --> 04:34:10.319 not have gone, For while it showed I was a privileged person, it 2823 04:34:10.479 --> 04:34:15.439 is a painful privilege to break in on the last evening of husband and wife. 2824 04:34:15.240 --> 04:34:21.240 I know those last evenings. And though Harry was only going back to 2825 04:34:21.279 --> 04:34:25.439 the depot in the morning, it was known there had been heavy losses in 2826 04:34:25.479 --> 04:34:30.479 the regiment, there was talk of a draft, it might well be the 2827 04:34:30.599 --> 04:34:36.520 last evening of all. I got there early, at Harry's request, about 2828 04:34:36.639 --> 04:34:42.720 half past five on a miserable, gusty evening in early November. Harry was 2829 04:34:42.759 --> 04:34:49.240 sitting in a kind of study library or den writing. He looked less well 2830 04:34:49.439 --> 04:34:55.720 and very sleepless about the eyes. It was the anniversary of one of the 2831 04:34:55.759 --> 04:35:00.639 great battles of the regiment, and we talked a little of that day soldiers 2832 04:35:00.639 --> 04:35:07.560 will with a sort of gloomy satisfaction. Then Harry said slowly, I've been 2833 04:35:07.560 --> 04:35:15.639 offered a job at the War Office by Major Mackenzie. Intelligence. Oh, 2834 04:35:15.680 --> 04:35:21.360 I said, that's very good, But I was thinking more of missus Harry 2835 04:35:21.479 --> 04:35:26.840 than Harry. Harry went on as if he had not heard I was writing 2836 04:35:26.840 --> 04:35:30.680 to him when you came in, and I don't know what to say. 2837 04:35:32.240 --> 04:35:37.279 Why not? Well, he said, you know as well as anyone what 2838 04:35:37.439 --> 04:35:42.680 sort of time I've had and how I've been treated by Philpit and others. 2839 04:35:44.599 --> 04:35:48.880 And I've had about enough of it. I remember telling you once on the 2840 04:35:48.919 --> 04:35:53.639 peninsula that I thought myself fairly brave when I first went out, and my 2841 04:35:53.880 --> 04:35:59.759 god, so I was compared with what I am now. I suppose everyone 2842 04:36:00.040 --> 04:36:04.200 as his breaking point, and I've certainly had mine. I simply feel I 2843 04:36:04.240 --> 04:36:11.560 can't face it again. Very well, I said, take the job and 2844 04:36:11.680 --> 04:36:15.279 have done with it. You've done as much as you can, and you 2845 04:36:15.360 --> 04:36:21.080 can't do more. What's the trouble? But he went on, seemingly to 2846 04:36:21.119 --> 04:36:26.479 convince himself rather than me. I've never got over those awful working parties in 2847 04:36:26.599 --> 04:36:33.479 that valley. I had two or three five nines burst right on top of 2848 04:36:33.479 --> 04:36:37.959 me. You know, the Lord knows how I escaped. And now I 2849 04:36:37.040 --> 04:36:42.279 simply dream of them. I dream of them every night. Usually it's an 2850 04:36:42.439 --> 04:36:48.279 enormous, endless plane full of shell holes, of course, and raining like 2851 04:36:48.479 --> 04:36:53.360 hell. And I walk for miles, usually with you looking over my shoulder, 2852 04:36:53.599 --> 04:36:57.599 waiting for the shells to come. And then I hear that savage, 2853 04:36:57.720 --> 04:37:03.680 kind of high velocity shriek, and I run like hell, only I can't 2854 04:37:03.759 --> 04:37:07.720 run, of course, that's the worst part. And I get into a 2855 04:37:07.840 --> 04:37:12.680 ditch and lie there, and then one comes that I know by the sound 2856 04:37:12.799 --> 04:37:18.400 is going to burst on top of me, and I wake up simply sweating 2857 04:37:18.400 --> 04:37:23.720 with funk. I've never told anybody but you about this, not even Peggy, 2858 04:37:23.799 --> 04:37:27.599 but she says, I wake her up sometimes making an awful noise. 2859 04:37:30.840 --> 04:37:36.080 He was silent for a little and I had nothing to say. And then 2860 04:37:36.200 --> 04:37:41.000 it's all so different now, so damnably dull. I wouldn't mind if we 2861 04:37:41.000 --> 04:37:47.000 could all go out together again, just the old crowd, so that we 2862 04:37:47.040 --> 04:37:52.159 could have good evenings and not care what happened. But now there's nobody left. 2863 04:37:52.919 --> 04:37:57.759 I don't expect they'll let you go out again. Only poor old Egerton. 2864 04:37:59.159 --> 04:38:03.439 He's back again. And I can't stand all those boot faced NCO officers 2865 04:38:03.439 --> 04:38:08.720 and people like Philpit and all the old duds. You can't get away from 2866 04:38:08.759 --> 04:38:14.639 it. The boot faces aren't officers, and nothing will make them so. 2867 04:38:15.400 --> 04:38:21.360 Even the men can't stand them, and they get on my nerves. It 2868 04:38:21.439 --> 04:38:25.919 all gets on my nerves, the mud and the cold, and the feudal 2869 04:38:25.919 --> 04:38:33.080 brigadiers and all the damned eyewah we have nowadays, never having a decent wash 2870 04:38:33.119 --> 04:38:36.919 and being cramped up in a dug out the size of a chest of drawers 2871 04:38:36.959 --> 04:38:42.040 with four boot faces where you can't move without upsetting the candle and the food, 2872 04:38:42.319 --> 04:38:48.720 or banging your head and getting lousy, and all those endless ridiculous details 2873 04:38:48.759 --> 04:38:56.479 you have to look after day after day working parties, haversack rations. Has 2874 04:38:56.560 --> 04:39:02.319 every man got his box respirator? Why haven't you cleaned your rifle as if 2875 04:39:02.319 --> 04:39:07.119 I cared a damn No, I won't say that, but there you are. 2876 04:39:07.319 --> 04:39:12.159 You see, it's on my nerves. But sometimes, and though I 2877 04:39:12.240 --> 04:39:17.560 sympathized, I was glad there was a butt, When I think of some 2878 04:39:17.639 --> 04:39:22.919 of the bogus people who've been out perhaps once, and come home after three 2879 04:39:22.959 --> 04:39:26.720 months with a nice blighty in the shoulder and get a job and stayed in 2880 04:39:26.799 --> 04:39:32.200 it ever since, I feel I can't do that either, and run the 2881 04:39:32.279 --> 04:39:37.240 risk of being taken for one of them. I don't think there's any danger 2882 04:39:37.279 --> 04:39:44.919 of that, I remarked, I don't know. One officeer is the same 2883 04:39:44.959 --> 04:39:48.840 as another to most people. And then you know, although you hate it, 2884 04:39:48.840 --> 04:39:53.759 it does get hold of you somehow out there, and after a bit, 2885 04:39:55.000 --> 04:39:59.000 when you've got used to being at home, you get restless. I 2886 04:39:59.119 --> 04:40:03.439 know I did last time, and sometimes I do now. I don't say 2887 04:40:03.439 --> 04:40:07.439 I hunger for the battle. I never want to be in a stunt again, 2888 04:40:08.119 --> 04:40:11.840 but you feel kind of out of it when you read the papers or 2889 04:40:12.080 --> 04:40:17.880 meet somebody on leave. You think of the amusing evenings we used to have, 2890 04:40:18.479 --> 04:40:22.080 and I rather enjoyed trekking about in the back areas, especially when I 2891 04:40:22.119 --> 04:40:27.880 had a horse wandering along on a good frosty day and never sure what village 2892 04:40:27.919 --> 04:40:34.040 you were going to sleep in, marching through Dulons with the band Estiminaise and 2893 04:40:34.200 --> 04:40:40.159 talking French and all the rest of it. And then I think of a 2894 04:40:40.240 --> 04:40:45.959 five nine and I know I'm done for I've got too much imagination. That's 2895 04:40:45.040 --> 04:40:49.279 the trouble. I hope you're not fed up with all this, but I 2896 04:40:49.319 --> 04:40:55.639 want your advice. It's funny one never used to think about getting killed, 2897 04:40:55.880 --> 04:41:00.520 even in the war, it seemed impossible somehow that you you're s elf could 2898 04:41:00.560 --> 04:41:04.840 be killed. Did you ever have that feeling? Though one was ready enough 2899 04:41:04.880 --> 04:41:10.119 in those days? But now, even in the train the other day, 2900 04:41:10.639 --> 04:41:15.400 going down to Bristol by the Express, I found I was imagining what would 2901 04:41:15.439 --> 04:41:18.639 happen if there was a smash. Things one reads of, you know, 2902 04:41:19.319 --> 04:41:26.479 carriage is catching fire and so on, just wind up and the question is 2903 04:41:26.479 --> 04:41:32.200 is it any good going out if you've got into that state? And if 2904 04:41:32.240 --> 04:41:37.080 one says no, is one just making it an excuse? It's no good 2905 04:41:37.119 --> 04:41:44.000 telling a military doctor all this. They'd just say, hah, scrimshanker. 2906 04:41:44.759 --> 04:41:48.919 What you want is some fresh air and to exercise my son. And for 2907 04:41:49.040 --> 04:41:52.680 all I know, they may be right. As a matter of fact, 2908 04:41:52.880 --> 04:41:57.319 I don't think I'm physically fit. Really, my own doctor says not. 2909 04:41:59.200 --> 04:42:03.040 But you're never examined properly before you go out, as you know, you 2910 04:42:03.159 --> 04:42:07.159 all troop in by the dozen at the last moment, and the fellow says, 2911 04:42:07.560 --> 04:42:12.040 feeling quite fit, And if you've just had a good breakfast and feel 2912 04:42:12.119 --> 04:42:18.680 buckish, you say yes, thank you, and there you are. Unless 2913 04:42:18.720 --> 04:42:22.520 you ask them to examine you, you might have galloping consumption for all they 2914 04:42:22.639 --> 04:42:29.040 know, and I'm damned if I'd asked them. After all, I suppose 2915 04:42:29.159 --> 04:42:33.520 the system's right. If a man can stick it for a month or two 2916 04:42:33.520 --> 04:42:37.400 in the line, he's worth sending there if he's an officer, and it 2917 04:42:37.439 --> 04:42:42.560 doesn't matter to the country if he dies of consumption afterwards. But my trouble 2918 04:42:42.720 --> 04:42:47.439 is, can I stick it for a month or two? Or shall I 2919 04:42:47.520 --> 04:42:52.159 go and do some awful thing and let a lot of fellows down. Putting 2920 04:42:52.200 --> 04:42:57.919 aside my own inclinations, which are probably pretty selfish, what is it my 2921 04:42:59.080 --> 04:43:03.919 duty to do? After friend Philpit, I don't know that I'm so keen 2922 04:43:04.040 --> 04:43:08.439 on duty as I was, but I do want to stick this damn war 2923 04:43:08.560 --> 04:43:15.919 out on the right line if I can. What do you think? Before 2924 04:43:15.959 --> 04:43:21.240 I answer that, I said, there's one consideration you seem to have overlooked, 2925 04:43:21.840 --> 04:43:26.880 and that is missus Penrose. After all, you're a married man, 2926 04:43:26.279 --> 04:43:32.880 and that makes a difference, doesn't it? Well? Does it? I 2927 04:43:32.880 --> 04:43:37.000 don't really see why it should make any difference about going out or not going 2928 04:43:37.040 --> 04:43:41.360 out. Otherwise every shirker could run off and marry a wife and live happily 2929 04:43:41.400 --> 04:43:47.799 ever after. But it certainly makes it a damned sight harder to decide, 2930 04:43:48.319 --> 04:43:52.000 and it makes the hell of a difference when you're out there. You can 2931 04:43:52.080 --> 04:43:55.520 make up your mind not to think of it when you're at home like this, 2932 04:43:56.200 --> 04:44:00.000 but out there, when you're cold and fed up and just starting up 2933 04:44:00.040 --> 04:44:04.240 the line with a working party, you can't help thinking of it. And 2934 04:44:04.360 --> 04:44:11.159 it makes things about ten times more difficult. And as you know, it's 2935 04:44:11.319 --> 04:44:15.439 jolly hard not to let it make a difference to what you do. But 2936 04:44:15.799 --> 04:44:19.200 damn it, why did you remind me of that? I didn't want to 2937 04:44:19.200 --> 04:44:26.439 think about it. And then missus Penrose came in and we went down to 2938 04:44:26.520 --> 04:44:32.880 dinner. I did not enjoy that dinner to begin with. I felt like 2939 04:44:32.919 --> 04:44:38.479 a vulgar intruder on something that was almost sacred and certainly very precious, For 2940 04:44:38.639 --> 04:44:44.759 all the signs of the last evening were there. The dishes we had were 2941 04:44:44.799 --> 04:44:49.159 Harry's favorites, procured at I know what trouble and expense by missus Harry, 2942 04:44:49.959 --> 04:44:56.520 and she watched tremulously to see that he liked them. She had gone out 2943 04:44:56.560 --> 04:45:00.240 and bought him a bottle of well loved Moselle for especial surprise, and some 2944 04:45:00.520 --> 04:45:07.479 port, which was a huge extravagance, but that was nothing, if these 2945 04:45:07.479 --> 04:45:11.880 things could only give a special something to this meal which would make him remember 2946 04:45:11.919 --> 04:45:15.959 it. For the flowers he never saw, and the new dress went unnoticed 2947 04:45:17.000 --> 04:45:21.479 for a long time. But I felt that it would all have gone much 2948 04:45:21.520 --> 04:45:25.880 better, perhaps if I had not been there. And I hoped she did 2949 04:45:25.880 --> 04:45:30.759 not hate me, and Harry was not at his best. The question he 2950 04:45:30.840 --> 04:45:34.759 asked me I had had no time to answer, and he had not answered 2951 04:45:34.759 --> 04:45:41.119 it himself. Through most of that dinner, which by all the rules should 2952 04:45:41.119 --> 04:45:45.319 have been superficially at least cheerful and careless, as if there were no such 2953 04:45:45.400 --> 04:45:52.200 thing as separation ahead, Harry was thoughtful and preoccupied, and I knew that 2954 04:45:52.319 --> 04:45:59.200 he was still arguing with himself, what shall I say to Mackenzie, Yes 2955 04:45:59.479 --> 04:46:06.040 or no? Wandering up and down among the old doubts and resolutions and fears. 2956 04:46:07.080 --> 04:46:11.720 Missus Harry saw this as well as I, and no doubt she cursed 2957 04:46:11.799 --> 04:46:15.880 me for being there, because in my presence she could not ask him what 2958 04:46:15.000 --> 04:46:22.319 worried him. But the moselle began to do its work. Harry talked a 2959 04:46:22.360 --> 04:46:26.360 little and noticed the new dress, and we all laughed a lot at the 2960 04:46:26.439 --> 04:46:30.000 pudding, which came up in such a curious shape. We were very glad 2961 04:46:30.040 --> 04:46:36.520 to laugh at something. Then Missus Harry spoke of some people in the regiment 2962 04:46:36.599 --> 04:46:41.880 of whom she had heard a good deal, George Dawson and Egerton and old 2963 04:46:41.959 --> 04:46:47.959 Colonel Roberts. I knew that in a minute we should stumble into talking about 2964 04:46:48.000 --> 04:46:52.759 the trenches or shells or some such folly, and have Harry gloomy and brooding 2965 04:46:52.799 --> 04:46:57.759 again. I could not stand that, and I did not think Missus Harry 2966 04:46:57.799 --> 04:47:04.560 could. I plunged recklessly into the smoother waters of life in France. I 2967 04:47:04.720 --> 04:47:10.680 told them the old story about General Jackson and the Billet Guard, and then 2968 04:47:10.759 --> 04:47:15.880 we came on to the famous night at Forceville and other historic battalion orgies, 2969 04:47:15.599 --> 04:47:19.840 the dinner at Mosche Breton, when we put a row of candles on the 2970 04:47:19.880 --> 04:47:25.400 floor of the tent for footlights, and George and a few subs made a 2971 04:47:25.439 --> 04:47:30.439 perfect beauty chorus. Those are things one likes to remember about active service, 2972 04:47:32.200 --> 04:47:37.360 and I was very glad to remember them. Then the special port came in 2973 04:47:37.479 --> 04:47:42.479 and was a great success. Harry warmed up and laughed over those old gaieties, 2974 04:47:42.560 --> 04:47:48.319 and was in great form at that moment. I think his answer to 2975 04:47:48.400 --> 04:47:55.240 Major Mackenzie would have been definitely no. Missus Harry laughed very much too, 2976 04:47:55.680 --> 04:48:00.040 and said she envied us the amusing times we had together out there. You 2977 04:48:00.159 --> 04:48:06.560 men have all the fun. And that made ME feel a heartless ass for 2978 04:48:06.680 --> 04:48:11.040 having started on that topic, For I knew that when Harry was away there 2979 04:48:11.119 --> 04:48:15.479 was little fun for her, and whether he was lying on his stomach in 2980 04:48:15.520 --> 04:48:21.959 a shell hole or singing songs in an estimateae, not thinking much of his 2981 04:48:22.040 --> 04:48:27.759 wife, perhaps except when they drank Sweethearts and Wives, it was all one 2982 04:48:27.959 --> 04:48:33.959 uniform, hideous weight for her. So I think it was hollow laughter for 2983 04:48:33.119 --> 04:48:40.119 missus p Moreover, though I did not know how much she knew about Harry's 2984 04:48:40.200 --> 04:48:45.080 difficulties the job and so on, I felt sure that, with the extraordinary 2985 04:48:45.119 --> 04:48:49.520 instinct of a wife, she scented something of the conflict that was going on, 2986 04:48:51.639 --> 04:48:56.720 and she knew vaguely that this exaggerated laudation of the amenities of France meant 2987 04:48:56.799 --> 04:49:03.639 somehow danger to her. So that just as I was beginning to congratulate myself 2988 04:49:03.680 --> 04:49:07.840 on the bucking up of Harry, I tartily perceived that between us we were 2989 04:49:07.880 --> 04:49:14.520 wounding the wife, and I more than ever wished myself anywhere than sitting at 2990 04:49:14.560 --> 04:49:21.000 that pretty table with the shaded lights. Well, we nearly finished the port, 2991 04:49:21.520 --> 04:49:26.000 Harry still in excellent form, and went upstairs. Harry went off to 2992 04:49:26.040 --> 04:49:30.040 look for smokes or something, and I knew at once that missus Harry was 2993 04:49:30.080 --> 04:49:34.759 going to ask me questions about him. You know how a woman stands in 2994 04:49:34.799 --> 04:49:40.759 front of the fire and looks down and kind of paws the fender with one 2995 04:49:40.840 --> 04:49:45.799 foot when she is going to say something confidential. Then she looks up suddenly 2996 04:49:45.919 --> 04:49:52.400 and you're done. Missus Harry did that, and I was done. At 2997 04:49:52.400 --> 04:49:56.720 any other time, I should have loved to talk to her about Harry, 2998 04:49:56.319 --> 04:50:03.279 but that night I felt it was dangerous ground. How do you think Harry 2999 04:50:03.400 --> 04:50:08.119 is looking, she said, You probably know better than I do nowadays. 3000 04:50:08.840 --> 04:50:15.119 I said, I thought he seemed pretty fit, considering all things. Do 3001 04:50:15.200 --> 04:50:18.439 you think he'll have to go out again? She asked, I don't think 3002 04:50:18.439 --> 04:50:22.840 he ought to, but they seem so short of men. Still, he's 3003 04:50:22.880 --> 04:50:29.560 not really strong, you know. So she knew nothing about the job, 3004 04:50:29.880 --> 04:50:33.080 and this put me in a hole. For if I told her about it, 3005 04:50:33.159 --> 04:50:37.040 and he did not take it, but went out again. The knowledge 3006 04:50:37.040 --> 04:50:41.680 would be a standing torture to her. On the other hand, I wanted 3007 04:50:41.759 --> 04:50:45.919 him to take it. I thought he ought to, and if she knew 3008 04:50:45.959 --> 04:50:51.119 about it, she might be able to make him. Wives can do a 3009 04:50:51.159 --> 04:50:57.200 great deal in that way. But that would be disloyal to Harry. Well, 3010 04:50:57.479 --> 04:51:03.279 I temporized with vague answers while I wrestled with this problem, and she 3011 04:51:03.439 --> 04:51:08.000 told me more about Harry. You know, he has the most terrible dreams, 3012 04:51:08.599 --> 04:51:14.279 wakes up screaming at night and quite frightens me. And I don't think 3013 04:51:14.279 --> 04:51:17.919 they ought to be allowed to go out again when they're like that. I 3014 04:51:17.959 --> 04:51:22.840 don't want him to go out again, at least, she added, halfheartedly, 3015 04:51:22.040 --> 04:51:26.400 as a kind of concession to convention. If it's his duty, of 3016 04:51:26.439 --> 04:51:33.119 course, then defiantly, no, I don't want him to go anyhow. 3017 04:51:33.479 --> 04:51:40.159 I think he's done his bit, hasn't he, mister Benson. He has, 3018 04:51:40.319 --> 04:51:45.040 indeed, I said, with sincerity at last, Well, you have 3019 04:51:45.159 --> 04:51:51.279 some influence with him, can't you. But then Harry came in and I 3020 04:51:51.319 --> 04:51:56.840 had lost my chance. I have noticed that while on the stage, conversations 3021 04:51:56.919 --> 04:52:03.159 which must necessarily be private are invariably concluded without interruption. In private life, 3022 04:52:03.439 --> 04:52:11.919 and especially private houses, are always interrupted. Long before the end, Missus 3023 04:52:11.919 --> 04:52:15.080 Harry went to the piano, and Harry and I sat down to smoke, 3024 04:52:15.479 --> 04:52:21.439 And since it was the last night, Harry was allowed to smoke his pipe 3025 04:52:22.119 --> 04:52:26.759 the way Missus Harry said that nearly made me weep. So I sat there 3026 04:52:26.799 --> 04:52:33.279 and watched Harry and his wife played and played soft, melancholy, homesick things 3027 04:52:33.720 --> 04:52:40.080 chopin. I think that leagued with the wine and the warm fire and the 3028 04:52:40.159 --> 04:52:45.959 deep chairs, in an exquisite conspiracy of repose. She played for a long 3029 04:52:45.119 --> 04:52:51.080 time, but I saw that she too was watching, and the fancy came 3030 04:52:51.080 --> 04:52:56.080 to me that she was fighting for Harry, fighting, perhaps unconsciously, that 3031 04:52:56.240 --> 04:53:02.119 vague danger she had seen at dinner when it had beaten her, fighting it 3032 04:53:02.200 --> 04:53:08.159 with this music that made war seem so distant and home so lovable, And 3033 04:53:08.400 --> 04:53:14.040 soon I began to see that she was winning. For when she began playing, 3034 04:53:14.200 --> 04:53:18.720 Harry had sat down a little restless again, and fidgeted, as if 3035 04:53:18.720 --> 04:53:23.279 the music reminded him of good things too much, And his eyes wandered round 3036 04:53:23.319 --> 04:53:27.919 the room and took in all the familiar things like a man saying goodbye, 3037 04:53:29.720 --> 04:53:33.319 the old chair with the new chintz, and the yellow curtains, and the 3038 04:53:33.400 --> 04:53:38.439 bookcase his father left him, and the little bookcase where his history books were. 3039 04:53:40.000 --> 04:53:44.520 He looked a long time at them, and the firelight shining on the 3040 04:53:44.599 --> 04:53:49.159 piano, and his wife playing and playing, And when he had looked at 3041 04:53:49.240 --> 04:53:55.240 her, quickly he sat up and poked the fire fiercely, and sat back, 3042 04:53:55.599 --> 04:54:02.159 frowning. He was wondering again this music was being too much for him. 3043 04:54:03.240 --> 04:54:08.680 Then she stopped and looked across at Harry and smiled. When she played 3044 04:54:08.720 --> 04:54:15.319 again, it was I think a nocturne of Chopin's. God knows which, 3045 04:54:15.479 --> 04:54:19.720 but it was very peaceful and homesick. And as I watched, I made 3046 04:54:19.759 --> 04:54:26.159 sure that she had won, for there came over Harry a wonderful repose. 3047 04:54:26.279 --> 04:54:32.319 He no longer frowned or fidgeted or raised his eyebrows in the nervous way he 3048 04:54:32.479 --> 04:54:37.040 had, but lay back in a kind of abandonment of content. And I 3049 04:54:37.080 --> 04:54:45.319 said to myself, he has decided he will say yes to Mackenzie missus. 3050 04:54:45.360 --> 04:54:51.040 Harry perhaps also perceived it, for after a little she stopped and came over 3051 04:54:51.119 --> 04:54:56.360 to us, and then I did a fateful thing. There was a copy 3052 04:54:56.400 --> 04:55:00.240 of the Times lying by my chair, and because the silence that was on 3053 04:55:00.400 --> 04:55:06.400 us, I picked it up and looked aimlessly at it. The first thing 3054 04:55:06.439 --> 04:55:11.240 I saw was the casualty list, buried in small type among some vast advertisements 3055 04:55:11.240 --> 04:55:17.919 of patent foods. I glanced down the list in that casual manner which came 3056 04:55:17.959 --> 04:55:22.680 to us when we knew that all our best friends were already dead or disposed 3057 04:55:22.680 --> 04:55:26.240 of. Then my eye caught the name of the regiment, and the name 3058 04:55:26.279 --> 04:55:34.400 of a man I knew, Captain Egerton VR killed. There was another near 3059 04:55:34.479 --> 04:55:40.080 it, and another, and many more. The list was thick with them, 3060 04:55:40.880 --> 04:55:45.520 and the other battalions in the brigade had many names. There fellows one 3061 04:55:45.560 --> 04:55:48.840 had relieved in the line, or seen in billets, or talked with in 3062 04:55:48.880 --> 04:55:55.200 the cocktail cafe at neu Lemis. There must have been a massacre in the 3063 04:55:55.279 --> 04:56:02.959 brigade, ten officers killed and ten wounded in our life alone. I suppose 3064 04:56:03.040 --> 04:56:07.840 I made that vague murmur of rage and regret which slips out of you when 3065 04:56:07.840 --> 04:56:11.439 you read these things. For Harry looked up and asked, what's that? 3066 04:56:14.240 --> 04:56:18.000 I gave him the paper, and he too looked down that list. Only 3067 04:56:18.040 --> 04:56:22.599 two of those names were names of the old crowd, and many of them 3068 04:56:22.599 --> 04:56:26.680 were the dull men, but we knew them very well for all that, 3069 04:56:27.040 --> 04:56:33.360 and we knew they were good men. Egerton, Gordon, Young Matthews, 3070 04:56:33.880 --> 04:56:41.000 Spencer, Smith, the bombing fellow Tompkinson, all gone. So we were 3071 04:56:41.040 --> 04:56:47.840 silent for a long minute remembering those men, and Missus Harry stared into the 3072 04:56:47.919 --> 04:56:52.240 fire. I wondered what she was thinking of, and I was sorry for 3073 04:56:52.439 --> 04:56:56.880 her, for when Harry got up there was a look about him which I 3074 04:56:56.919 --> 04:57:03.319 had seen before, though not for many months, not since the first days 3075 04:57:03.360 --> 04:57:08.000 on the sum While I was groping after my coat in the hall, Harry 3076 04:57:08.080 --> 04:57:11.720 came out of his den with a letter which he asked me to drop in 3077 04:57:11.759 --> 04:57:18.599 the box. I looked at it without shame. It was addressed to Major 3078 04:57:18.720 --> 04:57:23.680 Mackenzie, D. S O et cetera. And what have you said, 3079 04:57:23.720 --> 04:57:30.840 I asked, No, said Harry, with a kind of challenging look. 3080 04:57:32.360 --> 04:57:36.959 Well I think you're wrong, I told him, though I knew then that 3081 04:57:37.080 --> 04:57:41.400 I was too late. Missus Harry was beaten, now, finally beaten, 3082 04:57:41.720 --> 04:57:51.000 poor thing. And what are you too talking about? Said missus Harry about 3083 04:57:51.040 --> 04:57:56.840 a dinner, My dear, I went out and posted that a cursed letter, 3084 04:57:56.200 --> 04:58:03.119 thanking God that I was not a wife. End of Chapter ten. 3085 04:58:03.560 --> 04:58:15.720 Recording by Rogermaline. Chapter eleven of the Secret Battle by A. P. 3086 04:58:15.919 --> 04:58:23.400 Herbert. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Rogermaline. 3087 04:58:26.119 --> 04:58:30.720 Harry went to France again a month later, after the feudal kind of medical 3088 04:58:30.759 --> 04:58:34.479 examination he had foretold. I had a letter from him from the base, 3089 04:58:36.319 --> 04:58:41.319 and after that there was silence. I even began to hunt about in the 3090 04:58:41.439 --> 04:58:45.639 casualty lists, but he was never there, And seven weeks later they let 3091 04:58:45.680 --> 04:58:52.119 me go out again myself, to the astonishment of all but the military doctors 3092 04:58:52.439 --> 04:58:56.639 at the base. I heard of Harry. Some one had been wanted for 3093 04:58:56.799 --> 04:59:00.479 some kind of job down there, an officer to instruct the details of the 3094 04:59:00.520 --> 04:59:07.520 mysteries of iron rations, or something of the sort. Harry, happening to 3095 04:59:07.560 --> 04:59:11.759 be there at the time and pleasing the eye of the Aldermanic officer in command 3096 04:59:11.759 --> 04:59:18.240 of our base depot, had been graciously appointed to the post. But he 3097 04:59:18.279 --> 04:59:22.360 had caused a considerable flutter in the tents of the Mighty by flatly declining it 3098 04:59:22.720 --> 04:59:29.119 and stating insanely that he preferred to go up to the line. This being 3099 04:59:29.200 --> 04:59:33.040 still the one topic of conversation in the camp, I did not linger there 3100 04:59:33.119 --> 04:59:41.639 longer than was absolutely necessary. Infantry based depots are bad places, and that 3101 04:59:41.680 --> 04:59:45.959 one was very bad. You had worse food, worse treatment, and worse 3102 04:59:47.040 --> 04:59:52.200 company than you ever had in the line, much discomfort and no dignity. 3103 04:59:52.319 --> 04:59:57.599 I never understood why officers should be treated with such contempt whenever there were a 3104 04:59:57.680 --> 05:00:03.439 number of them together. If you went about by yourself or with another officer 3105 05:00:03.599 --> 05:00:10.279 or two, you had a certain amount of politeness and consideration from military officials. 3106 05:00:11.319 --> 05:00:14.959 But as soon as you got with a herd of officers you were doomed. 3107 05:00:15.319 --> 05:00:18.720 You were dirt. If the intention at the base was to make the 3108 05:00:18.799 --> 05:00:25.000 line seem a haven of refuge and civility, it was highly successful as far 3109 05:00:25.040 --> 05:00:30.919 as I was concerned. I got back to the battalion under the usual conditions, 3110 05:00:30.560 --> 05:00:36.639 A long jog in the mess cart under the interminable dripping poplars, with 3111 05:00:36.680 --> 05:00:41.840 a vile wind lashing the usual rain, over the usual flat fields, where 3112 05:00:41.880 --> 05:00:45.400 the old women labored and stooped as usual, and took no notice of anything. 3113 05:00:47.720 --> 05:00:51.279 The heart sinks a little as you look at the shivering, dreariness of 3114 05:00:51.319 --> 05:00:55.880 it all, and if it is near the line, you hope secretly that 3115 05:00:55.959 --> 05:01:00.319 the battalion is out for at least a few days more, that you may 3116 05:01:00.319 --> 05:01:03.959 have just two days to get used to this beastliness again, and not be 3117 05:01:04.119 --> 05:01:08.520 met by some cheery, acclimatized ass with a glad to see you, old 3118 05:01:08.560 --> 05:01:14.599 son, just in time, going up tonight doing a stunt on Tuesday. 3119 05:01:15.319 --> 05:01:21.040 Yet as you come to the village there is a strange sense of homecoming that 3120 05:01:21.200 --> 05:01:26.799 comes with the recognition of familiar things, limbers clattering and splashing along, and 3121 05:01:26.919 --> 05:01:33.400 the Regimental postman trudging back with the Mail and Sea Company cooker steaming pleasantly under 3122 05:01:33.439 --> 05:01:38.919 an outhouse, and odd men with waterproof sheets draped over the shoulders, wet 3123 05:01:38.919 --> 05:01:45.439 and glistening. Today I was lucky for the battalion was a long way back, 3124 05:01:45.680 --> 05:01:51.599 resting, so that this homecoming sense was strong upon me, and I 3125 05:01:51.680 --> 05:01:56.000 wanted to see Harry. When I came near to the usual main street, 3126 05:01:56.319 --> 05:02:00.919 I saw the battalion marching in by a side road, coming back from a 3127 05:02:02.040 --> 05:02:07.400 route march I sent my gear ahead and got down to see them pass. 3128 05:02:07.599 --> 05:02:12.799 It was strangely pleasant. The drums of the little band were covered because of 3129 05:02:12.840 --> 05:02:21.040 the wet, and only the bugles brayed harshly, but very cheerfully. Old 3130 05:02:21.119 --> 05:02:26.240 Philpit was ahead of them, riding fatly on his mild black mare, and 3131 05:02:26.400 --> 05:02:30.759 returned my salute quite pleasantly. You could see a lot of young recruits among 3132 05:02:30.799 --> 05:02:34.959 the men, and there were many officers I had never seen, but the 3133 05:02:36.000 --> 05:02:41.119 welcoming signs of the old men we had had from the beginning, mostly NCOs, 3134 05:02:41.240 --> 05:02:45.759 now made up for that young smith. I saw in command of C 3135 05:02:45.959 --> 05:02:52.520 Company now and Tarrant, our late transport officer, was squelching at the head 3136 05:02:52.520 --> 05:02:57.959 of a platoon, obviously not liking it much. Then came D Company, 3137 05:02:59.119 --> 05:03:04.279 and I looked relief for Harry Stevenson. I knew in command how young the 3138 05:03:04.360 --> 05:03:11.040 company commanders were, but there were only two other officers, and they both 3139 05:03:11.159 --> 05:03:15.759 strange. The last of them tramped past, and I was left silent in 3140 05:03:15.799 --> 05:03:23.959 the rain, foolishly disturbed. Where was Harry As no doubt he is an 3141 05:03:25.040 --> 05:03:30.840 orderly officer or away on a course. But I was disturbed, and the 3142 05:03:30.919 --> 05:03:34.159 thought came to me that if anything had happened to him, I too should 3143 05:03:34.159 --> 05:03:41.279 be lonely here with none of the old crowd left. I walked on then 3144 05:03:41.360 --> 05:03:45.560 and came to the little flag of D Company headquarters, flapping damply outside an 3145 05:03:45.680 --> 05:03:52.479 estiminee in the mess. They greeted me very kindly and gave me tea, 3146 05:03:52.599 --> 05:03:56.599 but there was still no Harry. But they all talked very fast, and 3147 05:03:56.720 --> 05:04:03.799 the tea was good. And where's Penrose, I asked at last, I 3148 05:04:03.919 --> 05:04:08.959 haven't seen him yet. I had spoken to Stephenson. He did not answer 3149 05:04:10.000 --> 05:04:15.439 immediately, but he picked up his cup and drank assiduously. Then he kind 3150 05:04:15.479 --> 05:04:22.040 of mumbled, very low and apologetic, he's in his billet, under close 3151 05:04:22.159 --> 05:04:30.759 arrest, under arrest, My god, what for? Stephenson began to drink 3152 05:04:30.799 --> 05:04:36.080 again. He was a good fellow who knew that Harry and I were friends. 3153 05:04:36.200 --> 05:04:40.000 Also, he had known Harry in the Suchet days, and he did 3154 05:04:40.040 --> 05:04:45.319 not like having to tell me this. But one of his subalterns, a 3155 05:04:45.479 --> 05:04:52.200 young pup just out, was less sensitive and told me brutally, running away 3156 05:04:52.840 --> 05:05:00.639 cowardice in the face of et cetera, have some more tea. Bit by 3157 05:05:00.680 --> 05:05:04.919 bit I heard the whole miserable story, or rather that naked kernel of it 3158 05:05:06.000 --> 05:05:10.479 which passed publicly. For the whole story, I had to make my own 3159 05:05:10.560 --> 05:05:15.520 footnotes, my own queries. The first night Harry was with the battalion, 3160 05:05:15.959 --> 05:05:22.560 Philpit had sent him up with a carrying party to the front line or thereabouts, 3161 05:05:22.919 --> 05:05:27.599 fifty men and some engineering stuff of sorts, wiring trestles, barbed wire 3162 05:05:27.840 --> 05:05:36.040 or something. It was shellhole country, no communication trenches or anything. And 3163 05:05:36.240 --> 05:05:41.119 since there had been an attack recently, the Bosche artillery was very active on 3164 05:05:41.159 --> 05:05:45.840 the roads and back areas. Also, there was the usual rotten valley to 3165 05:05:45.959 --> 05:05:52.279 cross, with the hell of a barrage in it. So much these young 3166 05:05:52.360 --> 05:05:57.080 braves conceded. Harry had started off with his party, had called at the 3167 05:05:57.119 --> 05:06:03.360 brigade dump and picked up the stuff. Later on someone rang up brigade from 3168 05:06:03.360 --> 05:06:10.799 the line and said no party had arrived. Brigade rang up Philpit, and 3169 05:06:10.959 --> 05:06:17.000 he sent up the assistant adjutant to investigate. Somewhere in the arius road he 3170 05:06:17.080 --> 05:06:22.599 had come upon Harry with most of the party running down the road towards the 3171 05:06:22.680 --> 05:06:27.560 dump, away from the line. The stores were urgently needed at the front. 3172 05:06:29.159 --> 05:06:34.159 They never got there. That was all the court martial was tomorrow. 3173 05:06:37.279 --> 05:06:41.439 Well it was a black story, but I made one or two footnotes at 3174 05:06:41.439 --> 05:06:48.159 once. The very first night he was back, the awful luck, the 3175 05:06:48.240 --> 05:06:52.119 cruelty of it, just back in the condition of nerves I knew him to 3176 05:06:52.200 --> 05:06:59.080 be in, with that first miserable feeling upon him, wondering probably why the 3177 05:06:59.080 --> 05:07:03.639 hell he had driven himself out there, and praying to be let down easy 3178 05:07:03.720 --> 05:07:07.599 for one night at least, and then to be sent straight up on a 3179 05:07:07.720 --> 05:07:12.520 job like that, the job that had broken him before, and by Philpit. 3180 05:07:14.639 --> 05:07:18.000 I seem to see Philpit arranging that with a kind of savage glee. 3181 05:07:19.240 --> 05:07:26.880 Oh here's master Penrose again. Well he'd better take that party tonight instead of 3182 05:07:26.919 --> 05:07:33.000 mister Gibson. And who was the assistant adjutant? God knows. If every 3183 05:07:33.040 --> 05:07:38.119 working party that went wrong meant a court martial, there would be no officers 3184 05:07:38.240 --> 05:07:45.119 left in the army. And if some busybody had been at work, who's 3185 05:07:45.159 --> 05:07:52.080 the assistant adjutant? I asked, fellow who was attached to division, used 3186 05:07:52.080 --> 05:07:55.959 to be in this battalion in your time? I believe what's his name? 3187 05:07:56.639 --> 05:08:03.759 Burnett? Burnett? He rang up the colonel and told him about it Burnette, 3188 05:08:03.599 --> 05:08:10.919 I groaned, The gods were against Harry. Indeed, Burnett had been 3189 05:08:10.959 --> 05:08:15.240 away from the battalion for eighteen months, drifting about from odd job to odd 3190 05:08:15.360 --> 05:08:21.919 job, town major here, dump officer there, never in the line. 3191 05:08:22.240 --> 05:08:26.680 Why the devil had he come back now to put his foot in it? 3192 05:08:26.119 --> 05:08:34.880 And perhaps, but I could not believe that Stevenson's two young officers, Wallace 3193 05:08:34.919 --> 05:08:41.400 and Brown, made no footnote. Naturally, they had come out by the 3194 05:08:41.520 --> 05:08:45.799 same draft as Harry, one from Sandhurst, the other from a cadet school. 3195 05:08:47.560 --> 05:08:51.360 They were fresh as Harry had been, and they had no mercy. 3196 05:08:52.360 --> 05:08:56.000 And while I resented their tone, I tried to remember that they knew not 3197 05:08:56.279 --> 05:09:03.759 Harry and said nothing. But when young Wallace summed up the subject with well, 3198 05:09:03.840 --> 05:09:08.200 all I can say is he's a cold footed swine and deserves all he 3199 05:09:08.279 --> 05:09:15.919 gets, I exploded, You damn young pup, I said, just out 3200 05:09:17.119 --> 05:09:22.400 and hardly seen a shot fired. You dare to say anything about Penrose? 3201 05:09:22.560 --> 05:09:27.119 I tell you you're not fit to lick his boots. Do you know that 3202 05:09:27.200 --> 05:09:33.080 he joined up in the ranks in August fourteen and went through Gallipoli and had 3203 05:09:33.119 --> 05:09:40.200 done two years active service before you even had a uniform. Do you know 3204 05:09:40.319 --> 05:09:45.479 he's just refused a job at home in order to come out here and another 3205 05:09:45.599 --> 05:09:51.599 job at the base. Does that look like cold feet? You wait till 3206 05:09:51.639 --> 05:09:55.400 you've been out a year, my son, before you talk about cold feet 3207 05:09:56.439 --> 05:10:03.560 you. But I couldn't control myself any I went out cursing. Then I 3208 05:10:03.720 --> 05:10:08.479 got leave to go and see Harry. He was in his billet, in 3209 05:10:08.479 --> 05:10:14.279 a small bedroom on the ground floor. There was a sentry standing at the 3210 05:10:14.319 --> 05:10:18.560 window, fixed bayonet and all so that he should neither escape nor make away 3211 05:10:18.639 --> 05:10:25.520 with himself. He was surprised, and I think really pleased to see me. 3212 05:10:26.200 --> 05:10:30.720 For before me, as he said, or anyone who knew his history, 3213 05:10:30.000 --> 05:10:36.360 he was not ashamed. It was only when the ignorant the wallaces were 3214 05:10:36.439 --> 05:10:41.479 near that he was filled with humiliation because of the things he knew they were 3215 05:10:41.520 --> 05:10:47.720 thinking. That sentry out there, he told me, was in my platoon 3216 05:10:47.759 --> 05:10:52.560 at Gallipoli, one of my old men. Just before you came in. 3217 05:10:52.720 --> 05:10:56.080 He tapped on the window and wished me luck. He said that all the 3218 05:10:56.200 --> 05:11:03.759 old lads did the same. Bucked me up no end, not that he 3219 05:11:03.880 --> 05:11:08.880 needed much bucking up, for he was strangely quiet and resigned, more nearly 3220 05:11:10.000 --> 05:11:15.799 at peace with everything than I had seen him for many months. Only he 3221 05:11:15.840 --> 05:11:18.639 said, I wish to God that I was a single man, and I 3222 05:11:18.680 --> 05:11:23.720 wish to God they would get on with it. He had been under arrest 3223 05:11:23.799 --> 05:11:30.319 for six weeks, six solid weeks, carted about from place to place like 3224 05:11:30.439 --> 05:11:36.159 some animal waiting for slaughter, while the summaries of evidence and the memos and 3225 05:11:36.240 --> 05:11:42.080 the secret envelopes went backwards and forwards through units and through formations, from mandarin 3226 05:11:42.159 --> 05:11:49.479 to mandarin, from bigwig to bigwig, while generals and legal advisers and judge 3227 05:11:49.520 --> 05:11:57.400 advocates and twopenny halfpenny clerks wrote their miserable initials in the dirty forms and wondered 3228 05:11:57.479 --> 05:12:04.000 what the devil they should decide, and decided nothing at all. All this 3229 05:12:04.159 --> 05:12:10.000 terrible time, Harry had been writing to his wife, pretending that all was 3230 05:12:10.040 --> 05:12:15.000 well with him, describing route marches and scenery and all the usual stuff about 3231 05:12:15.119 --> 05:12:22.639 weather and clothes and food. Now at least somebody had decided, and Harry 3232 05:12:22.799 --> 05:12:29.159 was almost happy, for it was the end of suspense. Once they settled 3233 05:12:29.200 --> 05:12:33.759 on a court martial, he said, I knew I was done, and 3234 05:12:33.080 --> 05:12:37.599 except for Peggy, I don't care. I don't know what they've told you, 3235 05:12:38.200 --> 05:12:44.159 but I'd like you to know what really happened. I found the battalion 3236 05:12:44.240 --> 05:12:51.400 at Monval the same old part and got their feeling pretty rotten. Old Philpit, 3237 05:12:51.599 --> 05:12:55.319 of course, sent me off with a working party, like a shot 3238 05:12:55.319 --> 05:13:00.360 out of a gun. Before I'd been there an hour. I picked up 3239 05:13:00.360 --> 05:13:03.279 some wiring stuff at the brigade dump. It was a long way up the 3240 05:13:03.360 --> 05:13:08.880 road then, not far from hell Fire Corner. Fritz was shelling the road 3241 05:13:08.959 --> 05:13:15.319 like hell, going up and down, dropping them in pairs fifty yards further 3242 05:13:15.439 --> 05:13:19.919 every time. You know the game. I had the wind up pretty badly, 3243 05:13:21.159 --> 05:13:26.240 and so had the men, poor devils. But what was worse they 3244 05:13:26.279 --> 05:13:30.400 seemed to know that I had. We had a lot of shells very close 3245 05:13:30.439 --> 05:13:34.439 to us, and some of the men kept rushing towards the bank when they 3246 05:13:34.479 --> 05:13:40.479 heard one coming. Well, you don't get on very fast at that rate, 3247 05:13:40.919 --> 05:13:44.360 and it's damned hard to keep hold of them when they're like that. 3248 05:13:45.479 --> 05:13:49.959 And knowing they were like that made me even worse. When we got to 3249 05:13:51.080 --> 05:13:55.959 Dead Mule Tree, about ten of them were missing, just stayed under the 3250 05:13:56.040 --> 05:14:00.000 bank, in the holes. I don't say this to excuse myself. I'd 3251 05:14:00.040 --> 05:14:06.240 just tell you what happened. Then we got to that high bit where the 3252 05:14:06.319 --> 05:14:10.639 bank stops and the valley goes up on the left, you know, the 3253 05:14:10.759 --> 05:14:15.279 awful exposed feeling one has there, And they had a regular barrage just at 3254 05:14:15.279 --> 05:14:21.360 the corner. I got the men under the bank and waited till a shell 3255 05:14:21.439 --> 05:14:26.319 burst, and then tried to dash them past before the next. But the 3256 05:14:26.400 --> 05:14:32.919 next one came too fast and fell plunk into the middle of the column behind 3257 05:14:33.000 --> 05:14:37.680 me. Three men were killed outright, and those of us who hadn't flung 3258 05:14:37.720 --> 05:14:44.560 themselves down were knocked over. I fell in a kind of narrow ditch by 3259 05:14:44.599 --> 05:14:48.200 the road. When I put my head up and looked back, I saw 3260 05:14:48.240 --> 05:14:55.040 some of the men vanishing back under the bank. Then another one came eight 3261 05:14:55.080 --> 05:14:59.040 inch I should think they were, and I groveled in the ditch again. 3262 05:15:00.200 --> 05:15:04.159 It was just like my awful dreams. I must have been there about ten 3263 05:15:04.200 --> 05:15:10.200 minutes after every one. I started to get up and go back to the 3264 05:15:10.240 --> 05:15:15.279 men under the bank, meaning to get them together again. Every time, 3265 05:15:15.400 --> 05:15:18.919 the next one came too quick, and I was pinned, simply pinned in 3266 05:15:19.000 --> 05:15:25.759 that ditch. Then Fritz stopped for a minute or two, altering the program, 3267 05:15:25.799 --> 05:15:30.119 I suppose, and I got up and ran like hell for the bank. 3268 05:15:30.159 --> 05:15:33.599 The four or five men lying near me got up and ran too. 3269 05:15:36.000 --> 05:15:38.680 When we got under the bank, we lay down and I looked around. 3270 05:15:40.240 --> 05:15:44.720 There was not a man to be seen. I shouted, but at first 3271 05:15:44.880 --> 05:15:49.240 nothing happened, and I tell you I was glad. Some of the men 3272 05:15:49.279 --> 05:15:53.919 who had gone back, not seeing me anywhere, had melted away home. 3273 05:15:55.840 --> 05:16:00.840 I don't blame them. Then a few drifted along from further down the bank. 3274 05:16:02.680 --> 05:16:06.799 By degrees. Most of the party turned up. There must have been 3275 05:16:06.880 --> 05:16:11.919 between thirty and forty of them in the end. And then you see, 3276 05:16:11.119 --> 05:16:15.720 I knew I should have to go on again, get past the corner somehow, 3277 05:16:17.639 --> 05:16:23.759 and and I couldn't. I simply couldn't face it. Peters, the 3278 05:16:23.959 --> 05:16:30.959 NCO said something about going to have another shot. Sir. He was pretty 3279 05:16:30.000 --> 05:16:36.560 shaken himself, they all were, but he'd have gone We ought to have 3280 05:16:36.720 --> 05:16:41.400 gone on, I know that, But anyhow, I told him I didn't 3281 05:16:41.400 --> 05:16:45.479 think we should ever get by at present, and said we'd better go back 3282 05:16:45.520 --> 05:16:52.040 a bit and wait under cover some yarn or other. So we started back 3283 05:16:52.080 --> 05:16:56.680 down the road. The Bosh was still doing the up and down game on 3284 05:16:56.720 --> 05:17:00.639 the road, only about twice as much. By this time. I can 3285 05:17:00.680 --> 05:17:06.919 tell you there was no shame between those men and me. We understood each 3286 05:17:06.919 --> 05:17:11.240 other. Every time we heard that damned shriek, we fell into shell holes 3287 05:17:11.279 --> 05:17:17.799 and prayed they were following us down the road, getting nearer and nearer. 3288 05:17:18.639 --> 05:17:22.200 You know that dugout in the bank where headquarters used to be. Well, 3289 05:17:22.400 --> 05:17:26.040 just when it looked as if the next lot must come right on top of 3290 05:17:26.119 --> 05:17:30.560 us, I saw a light coming from the dugout, and most of us 3291 05:17:30.680 --> 05:17:36.759 ran hell for leather for the door. Some one was standing at the entrance. 3292 05:17:36.759 --> 05:17:41.360 As we dashed in just in time. We nearly knocked him over. 3293 05:17:41.080 --> 05:17:45.840 And guess who it was, said Harry, with a horrible kind of hysterical 3294 05:17:45.959 --> 05:17:52.159 laugh. Guess who it was? It was Burnett. Burnett, of all 3295 05:17:52.279 --> 05:17:57.880 people. He had been sent up to find out what had happened. Well, 3296 05:17:59.119 --> 05:18:02.319 he asked what the hell I was doing, and said I was to 3297 05:18:02.360 --> 05:18:06.680 go on at once. I said I was going to wait a bit, 3298 05:18:07.080 --> 05:18:11.560 there was too much of a barrage. Then he said, very offensively, 3299 05:18:12.000 --> 05:18:18.560 he couldn't help that. My orders were to go on at once, that 3300 05:18:18.720 --> 05:18:22.720 annoyed me, and I said I'd see him damned first, and told him 3301 05:18:22.759 --> 05:18:26.240 if it was so urgent, he could take the party of himself if he 3302 05:18:26.360 --> 05:18:33.040 liked, but he didn't, naturally no reason why he should. Then he 3303 05:18:33.200 --> 05:18:37.720 rang up philpit and told him that he had seen the officer in charge and 3304 05:18:37.880 --> 05:18:45.759 some of the party running down the road demoralized, so he had, of 3305 05:18:45.759 --> 05:18:51.479 course he saw me running for the dugout, though the joke of it is, 3306 05:18:52.040 --> 05:18:56.919 the joke of it is he was sheltering there himself. And at the 3307 05:18:57.080 --> 05:19:03.279 enormity of that joke, Harry went off into that hideous laughter again. He 3308 05:19:03.439 --> 05:19:10.279 said, I refused to obey orders and asked for instructions. Phil Pitts said 3309 05:19:10.319 --> 05:19:15.680 it was too late now the stuff had been wanted by midnight. He told 3310 05:19:15.720 --> 05:19:22.279 Burnett to put me under arrest and come back. That's what happened, he 3311 05:19:22.360 --> 05:19:26.080 went on. And I don't care. Only I wish it had been anybody 3312 05:19:26.119 --> 05:19:32.119 but Burnett, though I suppose he was quite right, But it makes no 3313 05:19:32.279 --> 05:19:37.200 odds. I had got the wind up, and I had filled with a 3314 05:19:37.319 --> 05:19:41.680 party, and I don't deny it, even if I wasn't really running when 3315 05:19:41.680 --> 05:19:47.599 he saw me. One thing I can say if I did have the wind 3316 05:19:47.680 --> 05:19:52.159 up, I've never had cold feet till that night. I'm glad I came 3317 05:19:52.159 --> 05:19:59.000 out this time. If I did fail at the pinch Burnett wouldn't have I 3318 05:19:59.080 --> 05:20:03.560 knew I was when I came, and I know I'm done now, but 3319 05:20:03.720 --> 05:20:07.799 I wish you'd just explain it all to Peggy and the people who don't know. 3320 05:20:10.479 --> 05:20:15.680 And that is what I am trying to do. End of Chapter eleven. 3321 05:20:18.159 --> 05:20:29.040 Recording by Roger Maline. Chapter twelve of the Secret Battle by A. 3322 05:20:29.240 --> 05:20:36.000 P. Herbert. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by 3323 05:20:36.200 --> 05:20:44.200 Roger Maline. The court martial was held in an old farm lying just outside 3324 05:20:44.200 --> 05:20:48.400 the village. There was a large courtyard where the chickens clucked all day, 3325 05:20:48.880 --> 05:20:56.720 and children and cattle roamed unchecked in the spacious midden. The courtroom was unusually 3326 05:20:56.759 --> 05:21:00.919 suitable to its purpose, being paneled all round in some dark wood, with 3327 05:21:02.040 --> 05:21:07.439 great black beams, under a whitewashed ceiling, high and vaulted, and an 3328 05:21:07.439 --> 05:21:14.279 open hearth where the dry wood crackled heartlessly all day. Usually these trials are 3329 05:21:14.319 --> 05:21:18.360 conducted in the best bedroom of some estiminee, and the court sits defensively, 3330 05:21:18.400 --> 05:21:23.919 with a vast white bed at their backs. But this room was strangely dignified 3331 05:21:25.000 --> 05:21:30.520 and legal. Only at first Madame persisted in marching through it with saucepans to 3332 05:21:30.560 --> 05:21:37.639 the kitchen. All these curious English functions were the same to her a Christmas 3333 05:21:37.639 --> 05:21:41.439 dinner, or a mess meeting, or the trial of a soldier for his 3334 05:21:41.639 --> 05:21:48.400 life. The court impressed me rather favorably. A major general and four others. 3335 05:21:48.599 --> 05:21:52.720 The major General, who was president of the court was a square, 3336 05:21:53.000 --> 05:22:00.799 fatherly looking person, with a good mustache and rather hard blue eyes. He 3337 05:22:00.919 --> 05:22:04.240 had many rows of ribbons, so many that as I looked at them from 3338 05:22:04.279 --> 05:22:10.159 a dark corner at the back, they seemed like some regiment of colored beetles 3339 05:22:10.479 --> 05:22:15.880 paraded in close column of companies. All these men were very excellently groomed. 3340 05:22:17.639 --> 05:22:22.319 Groomed is the right word, for indeed they suggested a number of well fed 3341 05:22:22.360 --> 05:22:26.639 horses. All their skins were bright and shiny and well kept, and the 3342 05:22:26.799 --> 05:22:32.959 leather of their sam browns, and their field boots and jingling spurs, and 3343 05:22:33.040 --> 05:22:37.919 all their harness were beautiful and glistening in the firelight. I once went over 3344 05:22:37.959 --> 05:22:44.560 the royal stables at Madrid. And when all these glossy creatures jingled heavily up 3345 05:22:44.599 --> 05:22:49.479 to their table, I was reminded of that they sat down and pawed the 3346 05:22:49.520 --> 05:22:55.680 floor restively with their well polished hoofs, cursing in their hearts because they had 3347 05:22:55.720 --> 05:23:00.439 been brought so far to do some damned court martial. But all their faces 3348 05:23:00.479 --> 05:23:04.159 said, thank God, at least I have had my oats to day. 3349 05:23:06.240 --> 05:23:11.119 And there was an atmosphere of grayness about them. The hair of some of 3350 05:23:11.119 --> 05:23:15.040 them was splashed with gray. The faces of most of them were weathered and 3351 05:23:15.240 --> 05:23:19.599 gray, and one felt that the opinions of all of them were gray, 3352 05:23:19.919 --> 05:23:26.000 but not weathered, for they were just men. According to their views, 3353 05:23:26.919 --> 05:23:30.000 they would do the thing conscientiously, and I could not have hoped for a 3354 05:23:30.040 --> 05:23:37.840 better court. But as judges they held the fatal military heresy that the forms 3355 05:23:37.880 --> 05:23:42.919 and procedure of military law are the best conceivable machinery for the discovery of truth. 3356 05:23:45.240 --> 05:23:48.959 It was not their fault. They had lived with it from their youth, 3357 05:23:49.400 --> 05:23:53.479 and since it is really a form of conceit, the heresy had this 3358 05:23:53.680 --> 05:24:00.400 extension that they themselves and men like them, blunt on, straightforward men, 3359 05:24:00.959 --> 05:24:07.479 were the best conceivable ministers for the discovery of truth, and they needed no 3360 05:24:07.639 --> 05:24:11.400 assistance. Any of them would have told you, damn it, sir, 3361 05:24:11.639 --> 05:24:18.040 there's nothing fairer to the prisoner than a field general court martial. And if 3362 05:24:18.080 --> 05:24:22.520 you read the books or witness the trial of a soldier for some simple crime, 3363 05:24:22.959 --> 05:24:27.959 you will agree. But given a complex case where testimony is at all 3364 05:24:29.040 --> 05:24:34.240 doubtful, where there are cross currents and hidden animosities, the blunt, honest 3365 05:24:34.360 --> 05:24:41.040 men are lost. To begin with, being in their own view, all 3366 05:24:41.080 --> 05:24:47.439 seeing and all just, they consider the prisoner's friend to be superfluous, and 3367 05:24:47.520 --> 05:24:51.880 if he attempts any genuine advocacy, they cannot stomach the sight of him. 3368 05:24:52.479 --> 05:24:57.799 Prisoner's friend be damned, they will tell you. The prosecutor does all that, 3369 05:24:59.479 --> 05:25:04.400 and any thing he doesn't find out the court will. Now the prosecutor 3370 05:25:04.560 --> 05:25:08.840 is indeed charged with the duty of bringing out anything in the favor of the 3371 05:25:08.919 --> 05:25:15.560 accused. That is to say, if private smith, after looting his neighbor, 3372 05:25:15.680 --> 05:25:21.439 becomes afterwards remorseful and returns his loot to its owner, the prosecutor will 3373 05:25:21.479 --> 05:25:26.840 ask questions to establish the fact. In a case like Harry's, it means 3374 05:25:26.880 --> 05:25:33.439 practically nothing. The prosecutor will not cross examine a shifty or suspicious witness, 3375 05:25:33.119 --> 05:25:38.159 dive into his motives, get at the secret history of the business, first 3376 05:25:38.319 --> 05:25:44.520 because it is not his job, and secondly because, being as a rule 3377 05:25:44.639 --> 05:25:49.159 only the adjutant of his battalion, he does not know how. The court 3378 05:25:49.200 --> 05:25:53.520 will not do this because they do not know anything about the secret history, 3379 05:25:55.119 --> 05:26:00.639 and they are incapable of imagining any because they believe, pplicitly that any witness, 3380 05:26:02.080 --> 05:26:07.119 officer or man, except perhaps the accused, is a blunt, honest, 3381 05:26:07.279 --> 05:26:15.279 straightforward man like themselves, and incapable of deception or concealment. This is 3382 05:26:15.319 --> 05:26:21.240 the job of the prisoner's friend. Now. The book lays down very fairly 3383 05:26:21.439 --> 05:26:26.560 that if he be an officer or otherwise qualified, prisoner's friend shall have all 3384 05:26:26.560 --> 05:26:33.200 the rights of defending counsel in a civil court. In practice, the blunt 3385 05:26:33.240 --> 05:26:38.080 men often make nothing of this safeguard. Many courts I have been before had 3386 05:26:38.119 --> 05:26:44.479 never heard of the provision. Many, having heard of it, refused flatly 3387 05:26:44.520 --> 05:26:48.479 to recognize it, or insisted that all questions should be put through them. 3388 05:26:51.040 --> 05:26:55.880 When they do recognize the right, they are immediately prejudiced against the prisoner. 3389 05:26:56.000 --> 05:27:02.639 If that right is exercised. Any attempt to credit or genuinely cross examine a 3390 05:27:02.720 --> 05:27:07.720 witness is regarded as a rather sinister piece of cleverness. And if the prisoner's 3391 05:27:07.799 --> 05:27:12.680 friend ventures to sum up the evidence in the accused favor at the end, 3392 05:27:14.319 --> 05:27:19.360 it is too often that damned lawyer stuff. Usually it is safer for a 3393 05:27:19.439 --> 05:27:26.200 prisoner to abandon his rights altogether in that respect, but that should not be 3394 05:27:26.319 --> 05:27:30.599 in a case like Harry's. The question of counsel was vital in his case. 3395 05:27:32.759 --> 05:27:37.400 I make no definite charges against Philpit and Burnett. All I say is 3396 05:27:37.439 --> 05:27:42.520 that it was unfortunate that the two men most instrumental in bringing Harry to trial 3397 05:27:44.040 --> 05:27:47.799 should have been the only two men with whom he had ever had any bitterness 3398 05:27:47.880 --> 05:27:53.479 during his whole military career. It was specially unfortunate that Burnett should be the 3399 05:27:53.560 --> 05:28:00.000 first and principal accuser when you remembered that almost the last time Harry had seen 3400 05:28:00.159 --> 05:28:06.040 Burnett, he had shown courage, where Burnett had shown cowardice and thus humiliated 3401 05:28:06.119 --> 05:28:11.479 him. This case could have been passed over. Hundreds such have been passed 3402 05:28:11.560 --> 05:28:18.360 over, and on their merits from any human standpoint, rightly, why was 3403 05:28:18.439 --> 05:28:25.560 this one dragged up and sent stinking to the mandarins. Well, one possible 3404 05:28:25.639 --> 05:28:30.959 answer was, look at the history of these three men, And in the 3405 05:28:30.040 --> 05:28:34.880 light of that history, I say that Philpitt and Burnett should have been ruthlessly 3406 05:28:36.040 --> 05:28:41.880 cross examined by a really able man till the very heart of them both lay 3407 05:28:41.959 --> 05:28:47.000 bare. Whether the issue would have been different, I don't know, but 3408 05:28:47.119 --> 05:28:51.919 at least there would have been some justice on both sides. And it may 3409 05:28:51.959 --> 05:28:55.479 even be that a trained lawyer could not have got at the heart of the 3410 05:28:55.560 --> 05:29:00.479 matter, but also prevailed upon the court not to be prejudiced against him by 3411 05:29:00.560 --> 05:29:04.720 his getting at it. For that brings you back to the real trouble. 3412 05:29:06.959 --> 05:29:11.720 I could have done it myself, and gladly. If anyone knew anything about 3413 05:29:11.799 --> 05:29:17.159 these men, I did. But if I, acting for Harry, had 3414 05:29:17.200 --> 05:29:22.680 really cross examined Burnett, asked him suddenly what he was doing in that dugout, 3415 05:29:22.080 --> 05:29:27.560 and when he hesitated, suggested that he too was sheltering, and quite 3416 05:29:27.680 --> 05:29:33.720 rightly because the fire was so heavy. Or if I brought out the history 3417 05:29:33.720 --> 05:29:40.159 of that night at Gallipoli and suggested that the animosity between the two men might 3418 05:29:40.279 --> 05:29:45.000 both explain Harry's conduct in the dugout and account for Burnett having made the charge 3419 05:29:45.000 --> 05:29:51.240 in the first place, thus throwing some doubt on the value of his evidence. 3420 05:29:52.240 --> 05:29:56.279 All that would have been cleverness. And if I had suggested that Philpit 3421 05:29:56.479 --> 05:30:03.119 himself my co O might have some slight spite against the accused, or asked 3422 05:30:03.159 --> 05:30:07.520 him why he had applied for a court martial on this case after hushing up 3423 05:30:07.560 --> 05:30:14.400 so many worse ones, I think the court would have become apoplectic with horror 3424 05:30:14.439 --> 05:30:19.279 at the sacrilege. Then again, it had been fixed that Travers should be 3425 05:30:19.360 --> 05:30:25.599 prisoner's friend. He knew more about the papers and the summary of evidence and 3426 05:30:25.639 --> 05:30:30.599 so on than anyone, though as the papers had only been sent down the 3427 05:30:30.680 --> 05:30:36.279 morning before, he did not know a great deal. So we left it 3428 05:30:36.319 --> 05:30:41.799 at that. Travers was a young law student in private life, but constitutionally 3429 05:30:41.880 --> 05:30:48.080 timid of authority, and he made no great show in spite of the efforts 3430 05:30:48.080 --> 05:30:53.919 of the Deputy judge advocate, a person supposed to assist everybody. But as 3431 05:30:53.959 --> 05:31:00.159 I have said, perhaps it was as well for what they thought of as 3432 05:31:00.200 --> 05:31:03.560 the hard facts of the case were all that mattered to the court. And 3433 05:31:03.639 --> 05:31:10.880 as related by Philpot and Burnett and Peters. They were pretty damning. That 3434 05:31:10.959 --> 05:31:17.319 bit about the running was fatal. It made a great impression. Both the 3435 05:31:17.439 --> 05:31:22.959 prosecutor and two of the court asked Burnett, are you sure he was running? 3436 05:31:23.400 --> 05:31:26.560 If he had only been walking away from the enemy, it would have 3437 05:31:26.599 --> 05:31:33.840 made so much difference. Travers did ask Burnett why he was in the dugout 3438 05:31:33.040 --> 05:31:37.680 entrance, and it showed you what a mockery any kind of cross examination would 3439 05:31:37.720 --> 05:31:45.240 have been. In the absence of shorthand writers. Every question, in almost 3440 05:31:45.279 --> 05:31:51.959 every answer was written down word for word by the deputy judge advocate. After 3441 05:31:52.000 --> 05:31:56.240 a question was put there was a lengthy pause while the officer wrote. Then 3442 05:31:56.279 --> 05:32:02.080 there was some uncertainty and some questions about the exact form of the question. 3443 05:32:03.759 --> 05:32:07.639 Had Travers said, why were you in the dugout? Or why did you 3444 05:32:07.759 --> 05:32:14.959 go to the dugout? Finally, all being satisfactorily settled and written down, 3445 05:32:15.799 --> 05:32:21.599 the witness was allowed to answer. But by then the shiftiest witness had had 3446 05:32:21.680 --> 05:32:27.159 time to invent a dozen suitable answers. No liar could possibly be caught out, 3447 05:32:27.599 --> 05:32:33.799 no deceiver ever be detected under this system. That was being fair to 3448 05:32:33.840 --> 05:32:40.439 the witness. Burnett answered, of course that he had gone there to inquire 3449 05:32:40.479 --> 05:32:45.200 if the working party had been seen to do Burnett justice. He did not 3450 05:32:45.319 --> 05:32:51.520 seem at all happy at having to tell his tale again. If his original 3451 05:32:51.599 --> 05:32:56.360 report had really been made under a sudden impulse of spite and revenge, and 3452 05:32:56.599 --> 05:33:00.599 however that may be, he could certainly have made a very different report. 3453 05:33:02.319 --> 05:33:07.040 I think perhaps he had not realized how far the matter would go, had 3454 05:33:07.080 --> 05:33:11.000 not imagined that it would come to a court martial, and now regretted it. 3455 05:33:12.080 --> 05:33:17.159 But it was too late. He could not eat his words, and 3456 05:33:17.319 --> 05:33:21.799 that was the devil of it. Burnett might have made a different report. 3457 05:33:22.599 --> 05:33:26.720 Philpott could have arranged things with the brigade, could have had Harry sent to 3458 05:33:26.759 --> 05:33:33.200 the base on the ground of his record and medical condition, and not have 3459 05:33:33.279 --> 05:33:38.040 applied for a court martial. But once those hard facts came before the court 3460 05:33:38.639 --> 05:33:45.200 to be examined under that procedure simply as hard facts, an officer ordered up 3461 05:33:45.200 --> 05:33:52.240 with a party in important stores, some of the party scattered, Officers seen 3462 05:33:52.439 --> 05:33:57.639 running running mind you, in the wrong direction, Officers shaken on the evidence 3463 05:33:57.680 --> 05:34:03.040 of his men, and refusing to obey an order. It was too late 3464 05:34:03.080 --> 05:34:08.799 to wonder whether the case should ever have come there. That was Philpit's business. 3465 05:34:10.840 --> 05:34:15.880 He did not seem disturbed. He even mentioned casually that there had been 3466 05:34:15.919 --> 05:34:22.240 a similar incident with this officer once before, when his conduct with a working 3467 05:34:22.319 --> 05:34:29.599 party by no means satisfied me quite apart from the monstrous misrepresentation of the thing. 3468 05:34:30.040 --> 05:34:34.000 The statement was wholly inadmissible at that stage, and the President stopped him. 3469 05:34:36.000 --> 05:34:41.119 But that also was too late. It had sunk in, and so 3470 05:34:41.200 --> 05:34:47.639 the evidence went slowly on unshaken. Not that it was all unshakable. No 3471 05:34:47.680 --> 05:34:53.119 one tried to shake it. After Philpit came Peter's the NCO. A good 3472 05:34:53.159 --> 05:34:59.479 fellow, he told the court what Harry had said about going back to wait 3473 05:34:59.560 --> 05:35:04.439 a bit instead of going straight on. When the party collected again, they 3474 05:35:04.520 --> 05:35:08.560 asked him, was there any reason why the party should not have gone on? 3475 05:35:08.720 --> 05:35:14.919 Then? Well, sir, he said, the shelling was bad, 3476 05:35:15.119 --> 05:35:18.520 and we should have had some casualties. But I dare say we should have 3477 05:35:18.639 --> 05:35:25.639 gone through. I've seen as bad before. Then there was one of the 3478 05:35:25.680 --> 05:35:29.560 men who had been with Harry, a good fellow who hated being there. 3479 05:35:30.919 --> 05:35:34.759 He told the story of the movements of the party with the usual broken irrelevances, 3480 05:35:36.479 --> 05:35:40.639 but by his too obvious wish to help Harry did him no good. 3481 05:35:41.040 --> 05:35:47.119 When asked in what condition the officer was, he said, well, Sir, 3482 05:35:47.439 --> 05:35:51.240 he seemed to have lost his nerve, like we all of us had 3483 05:35:51.279 --> 05:35:55.799 as far as that goes. The shelling was that heavy. But that was 3484 05:35:55.880 --> 05:36:00.799 no defense for Harry. Harry could either make a statement not on oath, 3485 05:36:02.639 --> 05:36:07.240 or give evidence on oath and be cross examined. He chose the latter, 3486 05:36:08.000 --> 05:36:14.240 related simply the movements of the party and himself, and did not deny any 3487 05:36:14.279 --> 05:36:18.680 of the facts of which evidence had already been given. When you had collected 3488 05:36:18.680 --> 05:36:23.319 the party under the bank by this corner you speak of, said the President, 3489 05:36:25.200 --> 05:36:30.240 why did you not then proceed with the party? I thought the shelling 3490 05:36:30.360 --> 05:36:33.000 was too heavy, sir. Just then I thought it would be better to 3491 05:36:33.080 --> 05:36:37.799 go back and wait a bit where there was more cover, till the shelling 3492 05:36:37.880 --> 05:36:42.720 got less. But Sergeant Peter says the party would probably have got through. 3493 05:36:45.360 --> 05:36:49.720 Yes, sir, in view of the orders you had received, wouldn't it 3494 05:36:49.720 --> 05:36:55.799 have been better to go straight on? I don't know, sir, Perhaps 3495 05:36:55.880 --> 05:37:00.959 it would. Then. Why didn't you do that at the time, sir? 3496 05:37:02.240 --> 05:37:07.560 I thought it best to go back and wait and that was what you 3497 05:37:07.599 --> 05:37:12.639 were doing when you were seen a running to the dugout. Yes, sir, 3498 05:37:15.919 --> 05:37:18.439 well, the court did not believe it, and I cannot blame them, 3499 05:37:19.000 --> 05:37:23.880 for I knew that Harry was not being perfectly ingenuous. I knew that 3500 05:37:23.959 --> 05:37:30.159 he could not have gone on. Yet it was a reasonable story. And 3501 05:37:30.279 --> 05:37:34.840 if the court had been able to imagine themselves in Harry's condition of mind and 3502 05:37:36.000 --> 05:37:41.639 body, crouching in the wet dark under that bank, faint with weariness and 3503 05:37:41.840 --> 05:37:48.119 fear shaken, with those blinding tearing concussions, not knowing what they should do 3504 05:37:48.560 --> 05:37:52.759 or what they could do, perhaps they would have said in their hearts, 3505 05:37:52.479 --> 05:37:57.959 I will believe that story. But they could not imagine it, for they 3506 05:37:57.959 --> 05:38:03.799 were naturally stouthearted men, and they had not seen too much war, they 3507 05:38:03.799 --> 05:38:10.720 were not young enough, and indeed it was not their business to imagine that. 3508 05:38:11.479 --> 05:38:17.080 Another of the court asked, is it true to say, as Private 3509 05:38:17.119 --> 05:38:23.520 Mallin said that you had lost your nerve? Well, sir, I had 3510 05:38:23.520 --> 05:38:29.759 the wind up pretty badly one usually does at that corner. And I've had 3511 05:38:29.799 --> 05:38:37.439 too much of it, I see, I wondered if he did see if 3512 05:38:37.479 --> 05:38:42.279 he had ever had too much of it? Harry said nothing about Burnett, 3513 05:38:42.680 --> 05:38:48.639 nothing about Philpit. Probably it would have done no good. And as he 3514 05:38:48.720 --> 05:38:55.119 told me afterwards, the real charge was that I'd lost my nerve, and 3515 05:38:55.360 --> 05:39:00.400 so I had, and I don't want to wangle out of it like that. 3516 05:39:00.400 --> 05:39:04.439 That was the end of it. They were kind enough, those gray 3517 05:39:04.479 --> 05:39:08.360 men. They did not like the job, and they wanted only to do 3518 05:39:08.439 --> 05:39:14.959 their duty. But they conceived that their duty was laid down in the book 3519 05:39:15.560 --> 05:39:21.080 to look at the hard facts and no further. And the hard facts were 3520 05:39:21.319 --> 05:39:27.560 very hard. The court was closed while they considered their verdict. It was 3521 05:39:27.599 --> 05:39:33.040 closed for forty minutes, and when it reopened they asked for evidence of character, 3522 05:39:34.240 --> 05:39:40.759 and that meant that the verdict was guilty on the only facts they had 3523 05:39:40.759 --> 05:39:47.520 succeeded in discovering. It could hardly have been anything else. The adjutant put 3524 05:39:47.560 --> 05:39:52.319 in formal evidence of Harry's service, age record and so on, and I 3525 05:39:52.479 --> 05:39:59.000 was allowed to give evidence of character. I told them simply the sort of 3526 05:39:59.000 --> 05:40:03.639 fighting record he had about Gallipoli and the scouting and the job he had refused 3527 05:40:03.639 --> 05:40:08.840 in England. I am glad to believe that I did him a little good 3528 05:40:10.439 --> 05:40:14.720 for that evening. It got about somehow that he was recommended to mercy, 3529 05:40:15.159 --> 05:40:23.959 and perhaps they remembered that he was twenty three end of Chapter twelve, recording 3530 05:40:25.000 --> 05:40:34.759 by Roger Maline, Chapter thirteen of the Secret Battle by A. P. 3531 05:40:36.119 --> 05:40:42.279 Herbert. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Roger Maline. 3532 05:40:45.040 --> 05:40:49.479 That evening I sat in Sea Company mess for an hour and talked with 3533 05:40:49.560 --> 05:40:56.200 him about the trial. They were very sad and upset at this thing happening 3534 05:40:56.200 --> 05:41:00.159 in the regiment. But they were reasonable and generous, not like those d 3535 05:41:00.319 --> 05:41:07.200 company pups Wallace and the other for they were older men and had nearly all 3536 05:41:07.279 --> 05:41:11.040 been out a long time. Only one of them annoyed me, a fellow 3537 05:41:11.080 --> 05:41:15.119 in the thirties, making a good income in the city, who had only 3538 05:41:15.200 --> 05:41:19.560 joined up just before he had to under the Derby scheme, and had been 3539 05:41:19.639 --> 05:41:25.639 out a month. This fellow was very strong in the honor of the regiment, 3540 05:41:26.200 --> 05:41:30.119 and seemed to think it desirable for that honor that Harry should be shot. 3541 05:41:30.840 --> 05:41:36.240 Though how the honor of the regiment would be thereby advanced, or what 3542 05:41:36.439 --> 05:41:40.919 right he had to speak for it, I could not discover. But the 3543 05:41:41.040 --> 05:41:47.759 others were sensible, balanced men, and as perplexed and troubled, as I 3544 05:41:47.759 --> 05:41:51.360 I had been thinking over a thing that Harry had said in his talk with 3545 05:41:51.479 --> 05:41:56.639 me. If I did have the wind up, I've never had cold feet. 3546 05:41:56.599 --> 05:42:02.319 It is a pity one cannot avoid these horror terms, but one cannot. 3547 05:42:03.479 --> 05:42:07.479 I take it that wind up, whatever the origin of that extraordinary expression 3548 05:42:07.520 --> 05:42:15.799 may be, signifies simply fear. Cold feet also signifies fear, but as 3549 05:42:15.799 --> 05:42:22.000 I understand, it has an added implication in it of base yielding to that 3550 05:42:22.119 --> 05:42:26.599 fear. I told them about this distinction of Harry's and ask them what they 3551 05:42:26.680 --> 05:42:33.560 thought. That's it, said Smith, That's just the damned shame of the 3552 05:42:33.599 --> 05:42:37.479 whole thing. There are lots of men who are simply terrified the whole time 3553 05:42:37.520 --> 05:42:42.000 they're out, but just go on sticking it by sheer, guts, will 3554 05:42:42.080 --> 05:42:47.799 power, or whatever you like. That's having the wind up, and you 3555 05:42:47.880 --> 05:42:53.119 can't prevent it. It just depends how you're made. I suppose there really 3556 05:42:53.159 --> 05:42:57.680 are some people who don't feel fear at all, that fellow Drake, for 3557 05:42:57.799 --> 05:43:03.479 example, though I'm not sure that there are many. Anyhow, If there 3558 05:43:03.520 --> 05:43:07.759 are any, they don't deserve much credit, though they do get the VCS. 3559 05:43:10.200 --> 05:43:12.680 Then there are the people who feel fear like the rest of us, 3560 05:43:12.959 --> 05:43:18.159 and don't make any effort to resist it, don't join up or come out. 3561 05:43:18.680 --> 05:43:22.880 And when they have to go back after three months with a blighty one 3562 05:43:22.119 --> 05:43:27.439 and get a job and stay there, and when they are here wangle out 3563 05:43:27.479 --> 05:43:33.520 of all the dirty jobs put in Foster. Well, they're the people with 3564 05:43:33.680 --> 05:43:38.319 cold feet, if you like. Smith went on, And as you say, 3565 05:43:38.560 --> 05:43:45.000 Penrose has never been like that. Fellows like him keep on coming out 3566 05:43:45.119 --> 05:43:51.159 time after time, getting worse wind up every time, but simply kicking themselves 3567 05:43:51.159 --> 05:43:56.759 out until they come out once too often and stop one or break up suddenly 3568 05:43:56.840 --> 05:44:02.279 like Penrose. And and the question is ought any man like that to be 3569 05:44:02.400 --> 05:44:08.319 shot? Asked Foster. Ought anyone who volunteers to fight for his country be 3570 05:44:08.479 --> 05:44:15.520 shot? Said another damn it, Yes, said Constable. He was a 3571 05:44:15.560 --> 05:44:22.439 square, hard looking old boy, a promoted NCO and a very useful officer. 3572 05:44:22.919 --> 05:44:26.400 You must have some sort of standard, or where would the army be. 3573 05:44:29.279 --> 05:44:33.200 I don't know, said Foster. Look at the Australians. They don't 3574 05:44:33.240 --> 05:44:38.360 have a death penalty, and I reckon they're as good as us. Yes, 3575 05:44:38.560 --> 05:44:44.279 my son, Perhaps that's the reason this was old constable. Again, 3576 05:44:45.200 --> 05:44:49.880 the average Australian is naturally a sight stouter hearted than the average Englishman. They 3577 05:44:49.919 --> 05:44:56.000 don't need it, then, why the hell do they punish Englishman worse than 3578 05:44:56.040 --> 05:45:00.599 Australians if they can't even be expected to do so well? Well, retorted 3579 05:45:00.639 --> 05:45:10.240 Foster, But this piece of dialectics was lost unconstable Anyhow, I don't see 3580 05:45:10.240 --> 05:45:15.200 that it need be such an absolute standard, Smith began again, thoughtfully, 3581 05:45:15.319 --> 05:45:22.080 he was a thoughtful young fellow. They don't expect everybody to have equally strong 3582 05:45:22.360 --> 05:45:26.479 arms or equally good brains. And if a chap's legs or arms aren't strong 3583 05:45:26.599 --> 05:45:30.119 enough for him to go on living in the trenches, they take him out 3584 05:45:30.159 --> 05:45:37.159 of it if he's lucky. But every man's expected to have equally strong nerves 3585 05:45:37.159 --> 05:45:41.159 in all circumstances, and to go on having them till he goes under. 3586 05:45:41.919 --> 05:45:47.759 And when he goes under, they don't consider how far his nerves or guts, 3587 05:45:48.040 --> 05:45:51.759 or whatever you call it, were as good as the other people's. 3588 05:45:52.040 --> 05:45:56.560 Even if he had nerves like a chicken to begin with, he's expected to 3589 05:45:56.599 --> 05:46:00.759 behave as a man with nerves like a lie or a drake would do. 3590 05:46:03.479 --> 05:46:07.319 A man with nerves like a chicken. Is a damned fool to go into 3591 05:46:07.319 --> 05:46:11.360 the infantry at all? Put in Williams the honor of the regiment person. 3592 05:46:14.080 --> 05:46:18.319 Yes, but he may have had a willpower like a lion and simply made 3593 05:46:18.439 --> 05:46:23.360 himself do it. You'd be all right, Smith. Somebody said, if 3594 05:46:23.360 --> 05:46:27.560 you didn't use such long words, what the hell do you mean by an 3595 05:46:27.639 --> 05:46:34.880 absolute standard? Sorry, George, I forgot you were so ignorant. What 3596 05:46:34.959 --> 05:46:41.319 I mean is this take a case like Penroses. All they ask is was 3597 05:46:41.400 --> 05:46:47.759 he seen running the wrong way or not going the right way. If the 3598 05:46:47.840 --> 05:46:53.000 answer is yes, the punishment is death, etc. Etc. To begin 3599 05:46:53.119 --> 05:46:59.000 with, as I said, they don't consider whether he was capable physically or 3600 05:46:59.119 --> 05:47:03.680 mentally. I don't know which it is of doing the right thing. And 3601 05:47:03.720 --> 05:47:08.000 then there are lots of other things which we know make one man more windy 3602 05:47:08.080 --> 05:47:14.880 than another, or windier today than he was yesterday, things like being a 3603 05:47:14.919 --> 05:47:21.479 married man, or having boils or a bad cold, or being just physically 3604 05:47:21.520 --> 05:47:26.680 weak so that you get so exhausted you haven't got any strength left to resist 3605 05:47:26.720 --> 05:47:32.919 your fears. I've had that feeling myself. None of those things are considered 3606 05:47:32.919 --> 05:47:37.319 at all at a court martial, and I think they ought to be No, 3607 05:47:38.119 --> 05:47:42.400 said Foster, they ought to be considered before they decide to have a 3608 05:47:42.439 --> 05:47:48.720 court marshal at all. A case like Penrose's never ought to have got so 3609 05:47:48.759 --> 05:47:55.919 far. You're right, I don't know why the devil it did, after 3610 05:47:56.080 --> 05:48:00.560 all, said Williams. You've got to consider the name of the regiment. 3611 05:48:00.279 --> 05:48:07.000 What would happen? But I could not stand any more of that. I 3612 05:48:07.080 --> 05:48:11.360 think Smith's on the right line, I said, though I don't know if 3613 05:48:11.400 --> 05:48:15.080 it would ever be workable. There are, of course lots of fellows who 3614 05:48:15.200 --> 05:48:22.520 feel things far more than most of us, sensitive imaginative fellows like poor Penrose, 3615 05:48:22.159 --> 05:48:26.200 and it must be hell for them. Of course, there are some 3616 05:48:26.279 --> 05:48:30.840 men like that, with enormously strong wills, who manage to stick it out 3617 05:48:30.880 --> 05:48:37.360 as well as anybody and do awfully well. I should think Young Aston, 3618 05:48:37.560 --> 05:48:44.279 for instance, and those I call the really brave men. Anyhow, if 3619 05:48:44.319 --> 05:48:48.159 a man like that really does stick it as long as he can, I 3620 05:48:48.200 --> 05:48:51.959 think something ought to be done for him, though I'm damned if I know 3621 05:48:52.119 --> 05:48:56.959 what he oughtn't He oughtn't be allowed to go on too long, That's what 3622 05:48:57.080 --> 05:49:03.959 it comes to, said Smith. Well, what do you want, Foster 3623 05:49:03.080 --> 05:49:10.799 asked, A kind of periodical wind up examination. That's the kind of thing. 3624 05:49:10.880 --> 05:49:15.599 I suppose it is a medical question, really, only the doctors don't 3625 05:49:15.599 --> 05:49:22.840 seem to recognize, or else they aren't allowed to any stage between absolute shell 3626 05:49:22.959 --> 05:49:30.759 shock with your legs flying in all directions, and just ordinary scrimshanking. But 3627 05:49:30.040 --> 05:49:36.639 damn it, man Constable exploded, look at the scrimshanking you'll get. If 3628 05:49:36.639 --> 05:49:41.119 you have that sort of thing, you'd have all the mother's darlings in the 3629 05:49:41.240 --> 05:49:47.799 kingdom saying they'd had enough when they got to the base. Perhaps no, 3630 05:49:48.119 --> 05:49:52.159 I think that's silly. I don't know what it is that gives you bad 3631 05:49:52.240 --> 05:49:56.959 wind up after a long time out here, nerves or imagination or emotion or 3632 05:49:57.040 --> 05:50:02.119 what. But it seems to me the doctors ought to be able to test 3633 05:50:02.200 --> 05:50:07.360 when a man's really had enough, just as they tell whether a man's knee 3634 05:50:07.560 --> 05:50:11.759 or a man's heart are really bad or not. You'd have to take his 3635 05:50:11.880 --> 05:50:18.560 record into account, of course, and you'd have to make it a compulsory 3636 05:50:18.639 --> 05:50:23.159 test, said Smith, because nowadays no one's going to get into a board 3637 05:50:23.240 --> 05:50:27.000 and say, look here, doctor, i've been out so long and I 3638 05:50:27.080 --> 05:50:34.599 can't stand anymore, they'd send you out in the next draft, compulsory both 3639 05:50:34.639 --> 05:50:41.000 ways, added Foster. When they've decided he'd done enough and wasn't safe any 3640 05:50:41.080 --> 05:50:45.799 longer, he oughtn't to be allowed to do any more, because he's dangerous 3641 05:50:45.840 --> 05:50:52.400 to himself and everybody else. It is only fair to say that long after 3642 05:50:52.439 --> 05:50:59.840 the supposed date of this conversation, a system of sending war weary soldiers home 3643 05:51:00.080 --> 05:51:03.919 for six months at a time was instituted, though I doubt if Foster would 3644 05:51:03.959 --> 05:51:10.799 have been satisfied with that. As a matter of fact, said Williams. 3645 05:51:11.319 --> 05:51:15.880 That's what usually does happen, doesn't it. When a chap gets down and 3646 05:51:15.000 --> 05:51:19.080 out like that, after a decent spell of it, he usually gets a 3647 05:51:19.159 --> 05:51:26.200 job at home, instructor at the depot or something. Yes, And then 3648 05:51:26.240 --> 05:51:30.319 you get a fellow with the devil of a conscience like Penrose, and you 3649 05:51:30.439 --> 05:51:36.880 have a nasty mess like this. And what about the men, asked Constable, 3650 05:51:37.799 --> 05:51:42.080 Are you going to have the same thing for them? Certainly? Only 3651 05:51:42.279 --> 05:51:48.080 thank god there are not so many of them who need it. All that 3652 05:51:48.159 --> 05:51:53.799 chat you read about the wonderful fatalism of the British soldier is so much bunkum 3653 05:51:53.919 --> 05:51:59.520 it simply means that most of them are not cursed with an imagination, and 3654 05:51:59.599 --> 05:52:06.159 so don't worry about what's coming. That's true. You don't see many fatalists 3655 05:52:06.200 --> 05:52:11.240 in the middle of a big strafe. Of course, there are lots of 3656 05:52:11.240 --> 05:52:17.000 them who are made like Penrose and with a record like his something, and 3657 05:52:17.080 --> 05:52:21.159 as dan lucky for the British Army. There are not more of them put 3658 05:52:21.200 --> 05:52:26.560 in constable, certainly, but as damned unlucky for them to be in the 3659 05:52:26.599 --> 05:52:33.720 British Army, in the infantry anyhow. And what does that matter? Oh 3660 05:52:33.759 --> 05:52:37.319 well, you can take that line if you like. But it's a bit 3661 05:52:37.400 --> 05:52:42.200 Prussian, isn't it. Prussia is winning this dirty war anyhow at present. 3662 05:52:45.119 --> 05:52:48.919 So the talk rambled on and we got no further. Only most of us 3663 05:52:48.959 --> 05:52:55.439 were in troubled agreement that something, perhaps many things, were wrong about the 3664 05:52:55.560 --> 05:53:02.080 system. If this young volunteer, after long fighting and suffering, was indeed 3665 05:53:02.119 --> 05:53:07.759 to be shot like a traitor in the cold dawn nine times out of ten, 3666 05:53:07.000 --> 05:53:11.919 as Williams had said, we knew that it would not have happened, 3667 05:53:11.200 --> 05:53:18.040 simply because nine men out of ten surrender in time. But at the tenth 3668 05:53:18.119 --> 05:53:25.000 case, be even remotely possible. That was our doubt. What exactly was 3669 05:53:25.080 --> 05:53:30.279 wrong. We could not pretend to say it was not our business. But 3670 05:53:30.400 --> 05:53:33.880 if this was the best the old men could do, we felt that we 3671 05:53:33.919 --> 05:53:38.720 could help them a little. I give you this scrap of conversation only to 3672 05:53:38.799 --> 05:53:44.159 show the kind of feeling there was in the regiment, because that is the 3673 05:53:44.240 --> 05:53:48.799 surest test of the rightness of these things. They were still at it when 3674 05:53:48.880 --> 05:53:53.599 I left, And as I went out wearily into the cold drizzle, I 3675 05:53:53.759 --> 05:54:00.919 heard Foster summing up his views with well, the whole things damned awful. 3676 05:54:02.000 --> 05:54:06.720 They've recommended him to mercy, haven't they? And I hope to god he 3677 05:54:06.759 --> 05:54:12.639 gets it. But he got no mercy. The sentence was confirmed by the 3678 05:54:12.720 --> 05:54:19.439 higher authorities. I cannot pretend to know what happened, but from some experience 3679 05:54:19.479 --> 05:54:26.400 of the military hierarchy, I can imagine I can see those papers wrapped up 3680 05:54:26.400 --> 05:54:32.279 in the blue form with all the right information, beautifully inscribed in the right 3681 05:54:32.360 --> 05:54:37.759 spaces, very neat and precise, carefully sealed in the long envelopes, and 3682 05:54:37.919 --> 05:54:45.400 sent wandering up through the rarefied atmosphere of the higher formations. Very early they 3683 05:54:45.439 --> 05:54:52.040 halt at the brigadier, or perhaps the divisional general, someone who thinks of 3684 05:54:52.119 --> 05:54:56.799 himself as a man of blood and iron. He looks upon the papers, 3685 05:54:56.360 --> 05:55:03.119 he reads the evidence very carefully. At the end he sees recommended to Mercy. 3686 05:55:04.360 --> 05:55:10.840 All very well, but we must make an example. Sometimes. Where's 3687 05:55:10.880 --> 05:55:17.159 that confidential memo we had the other day? That's it. Yes, officer 3688 05:55:17.200 --> 05:55:22.400 who fails in his duty must be treated with the same severity as would be 3689 05:55:22.439 --> 05:55:30.599 awarded to private in the same circumstances. Quite right too, shan't approve recommendation 3690 05:55:30.680 --> 05:55:36.639 to Mercy, Just right on it. See no reason why sentence should not 3691 05:55:36.799 --> 05:55:42.279 be carried out, and I'll sign it. Or more simply, perhaps Mercy, 3692 05:55:42.959 --> 05:55:49.119 Mercy be damned, must make an example. I won't have any cold 3693 05:55:49.200 --> 05:55:56.720 feet in my command. And so the blue form goes climbing on burdened now 3694 05:55:56.759 --> 05:56:03.279 with that fatal endorsement, boring over ridge after ridge, and on each successive 3695 05:56:03.319 --> 05:56:11.680 height. The atmosphere becomes more rarefied, though the population is more numerous, 3696 05:56:11.000 --> 05:56:15.880 And at long last it comes to some Olympian peak. I know not where 3697 05:56:17.560 --> 05:56:22.000 beyond which it may not go, where the air is so chill and the 3698 05:56:22.119 --> 05:56:29.119 population so dense that it is almost impossible to breathe. Yet here I make 3699 05:56:29.200 --> 05:56:34.040 no doubt they look at the blue form very carefully and gravely, as becomes 3700 05:56:34.080 --> 05:56:40.680 the high gods. But in the end they shake their heads a little sadly 3701 05:56:40.799 --> 05:56:47.360 maybe, and say, ah, General B does not approve recommendation to mercy. 3702 05:56:48.400 --> 05:56:52.560 He's the man on the spot he ought to know, must support him. 3703 05:56:53.759 --> 05:57:00.520 Sentence confirmed. Then the blue form climbs sadly down to the depths, 3704 05:57:00.520 --> 05:57:07.959 again, to the low regions where men feel fear. The thing was done. 3705 05:57:08.080 --> 05:57:14.639 Seven mornings later, in a little orchard behind the casket's farm. The 3706 05:57:14.799 --> 05:57:19.279 padre told me he stood up to them, very bravely and quietly. Only 3707 05:57:19.360 --> 05:57:26.360 he whispered to him, for God's sake, make them be quick. That 3708 05:57:26.520 --> 05:57:30.919 is the worst torment of the soldier, from beginning to end the waiting. 3709 05:57:33.639 --> 05:57:38.319 After three months I had some leave and visited missus Harry. I had to, 3710 05:57:40.279 --> 05:57:44.200 But I shall not distress you with an account of that interview. I 3711 05:57:44.240 --> 05:57:48.840 will not even pretend that she was brave. How could she be? Only 3712 05:57:49.040 --> 05:57:53.319 when I had explained things to her as Harry had asked, she said, 3713 05:57:55.240 --> 05:58:00.799 somehow that does make it easier for me, And I only wish I wish 3714 05:58:00.880 --> 05:58:07.560 you could tell everybody what you have told me, And again I say that 3715 05:58:07.720 --> 05:58:11.599 it's all I have tried to do. This book is not an attack on 3716 05:58:11.759 --> 05:58:18.119 any person, on the death penalty or on anything else, though if it 3717 05:58:18.200 --> 05:58:22.680 makes people think about these things so much the better. I think. I 3718 05:58:22.799 --> 05:58:27.680 believe in the death penalty. I don't know, but I did not believe 3719 05:58:27.759 --> 05:58:33.680 in Harry being shot. That is the gist of it. That my friend 3720 05:58:33.759 --> 05:58:38.680 Harry was shot for cowardice, and he was one of the bravest men I 3721 05:58:38.759 --> 05:58:52.040 ever knew. End of Chapter thirteen recording by Rogermaline. End of the Secret 3722 05:58:52.119 --> 05:58:59.520 Battle by A. P. Herbert