WEBVTT

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Two, two, three too far. Friday found the headphones nearly just twisted

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off on everyone. He nearly felt
my wrath, but we found him.

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Desroy accidentally took his headphones home yesterday
and we're Gucci fam. Guess what nine

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o'clock today a special guest joins us
has any other show in the metchbooks had

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a Jeopardy Tournament of champion contestant on
it matters not if they did. Yeah,

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we had Ken Jennings on a bunch
of unsert damn it probably the most

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famous Jeopardy dude of all time.
That was Saturday Show. Do you have

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other things you wanted to say right
now? Or is that pretty much it?

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Why don't you go out? I'm
it's hard to track whatevery every show

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and the Metrobukes is doing nothing.
Not oh you're on sir a day until

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I fired you two years, just
in different roles. He didn't great,

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it was it was a pleasure working
with you. Kevin largely kept to myself.

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Why we moved that paper towel because
I don't like it. It's right

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in front of our sight line.
Yeah, and I sit on the ground.

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How's that local guy? Jeopardy Tournament
of Champions. Ken Jennings isn't from

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here. Local guy boom suck it. What a safe down on the nuts.

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Kevin is a hot pistol this morning. I like this. It's Friday.

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He's got energy. Hot Kevin ready
for the weekend. He came in

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here all blasted out of his mind
on god knows what. He discovered that

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his headphones were seemingly missing. Could
you immediately go stolen? He thought someone

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stole his headphones. Yeah, what
happened was the Ben and Skin had a

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guest yesterday and they probably needed access
and they ended up somewhere else. And

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typically there are two sets of headphones, yours and his together, and they

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were both gone. Mikey took his
home yesterday, so only one was missing,

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and you found them within I don't
know, ninety seconds and everything was

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fine, but you're still there's the
residual that needs to burn off. Kevin's

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Hot. We're good now. Kevin's
Hot Tonight Friday. Yes, Kevin's Hot

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Tonight, I spin off of Randy's
Hot Tonight. Danny, Yeah, Danny,

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that's a song by Electric six right. Yeah, it's gonna be hot

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tonight Kessler Theater. Come join us
yes, come on out, everyone,

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get your tickets at pre Kindle.
I might get just hammered tonight. Danny,

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and your name are you clearing?
Tam a steak? Got a driver?

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I need it? Rocks is like
I'm not going too hard, and

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I'm like, well in that case, oh, she isn't. Really.

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Yeah, she just said I'll drive
and I was like oh, And I

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put my hand over my heart and
started to think about the many orders of

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alcohol going to be having. Probably
get gin and tonic loose tonight, which

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is when you find me at my
best. Oh no, that's when you

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find me most likely to scale a
building. There's always that one friend of

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yours that has the extra excitement about
going out and they claim that they're going

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to have their drink, and it
just means the night is going to He's

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sleeping on your couch tonight with with
his fiance. That's fine. She's not

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gonna allow that. I have a
guest room. You're welcome to use it.

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Yeah. After Kevin gets uh craned
off the Marquee at the Kessler pretending

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he's climbing the sphere, Yeah,
like King Kong. Yeah, I'm thrown

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out of the coast I'm feeling tequila
tonight. It's like, oh no,

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I won't go out as much as
I used to. Used to go out

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all the time. Now hardly ever
go out weekend special event. You're releasing

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a single, the Silver Skylarks.
I want to support my friends here,

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Danny and Skin's new project, and
we want to support the food and bed

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department at Kesler. He goes,
they're hosting your event. We want them

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to have a big night. So
that's a good seven gin and tonics for

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Kevio. Yes, have a good
friend of mine. I probably won't use

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his name, but I might go
ahead. And you know Corby, No,

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it's not Corby, but we went
out a few nights a few weekends

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back and we're just sitting having a
nice conversation and he gets up to he's

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got tiny bladder, and he goes
to the restroom probably, you know,

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five or six times throughout the evening
and we're just nursing a couple of beers

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there for like an hour and a
half. You know. The rare occasion

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that I even venture out into the
world and I suck at drinking. Now,

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and it's been pretty fairly well documented
that after like two beers I had

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pretty much done, and it affects
me in a way that it never used

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to. And by the end of
the night, we're saying goodbye, and

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I'm like, dude, you are
blasted. What happened? And he lives

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across the street, like, ude, you were sneaking shots when you went

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to the toilet, weren't you.
He was, yes, because he knew

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that I wasn't gonna drink him,
so rather than just shot being a bro

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and just sitting down with his shot
and having a shot in front of me,

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he felt like, oh, well, Danny doesn't drink that much anymore,

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but I still like to party nuts. I feel that every time he

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went to the bathroom after the back
or he'd order too and just slam them

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out of my sight and then come
back and sit down. It's like,

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I'm not your dad. I've been
best friends with you for like twenty five

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years. You don't have to do
this. It's so funny to say.

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It's interesting, Like, seriously,
he had two beers the same amount that

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as I did and was wobbly and
you called him out on that. He

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admits it was like what the well, yeah, dude, talking about poker

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faces. This guy has zero so
the second and look, his nickname is

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the drink Raccoon. So I knew
that this was on the table, which

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it has been in the past.
So yeah, I just brought it up

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and he just folded like a cheap
chair. But yes, I'm sorry.

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Don't have to do that, man, you can just sit down and drink

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all you want. You're a grown
ass man. Well, you're a bit

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of a father figure. Maybe I'm
just a few years older than him,

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It doesn't matter. Okay, he
may portray you as that. Well,

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that's a mistake on many levels.
That doesn't make sense. If you're with

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like your parents at a bar,
or at a funeral maybe a funeral,

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yeh, or the girl and you
don't want to show all your cards with

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your lush yeah for sure. But
you're nervous. But you're nervous or freaking

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out. Yeah, so I can
see like those reasons to do it.

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But I was your friend, Danny. It's kind of like I equate it.

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Yeah, I kind of equate it
to the guy that drives home and

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stops through Popeyes and eats a bucket
of chicken on his way home because he

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knows his wife is making salad for
dinner. Yeah, we have a good

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friend Jake that is notorious for hitting
a pizza hut and wolfing down a medium

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when he knows his wife is making
vegan tacos and then getting home and quietly

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stuffing the taco bell bag in the
bottom of the trash can under everything.

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And look, I don't know what
the circumstances are, but we've all done

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that. But anytime you're manipulating the
trash to put whatever you're holding at the

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very bottom some sad moment sometime yeah, yes I'm not look all cards on

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the table. We're in the truth
tree and the trust tree right now.

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I've done that at work with underwear. Whoa it worked? Yeah not here,

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but you know at the past,
you know you do, and it's

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more than you bargain for it.
And you gotta go to the restroom and

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you got to throw your drawers away
and you're just commando for the next few

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hours. Your pa, I have
crapped my pants at work. You capt

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your pants at the White House.
Have you ever crapped your pants? No?

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Yeah, I'm not talking about like
a fold, you know, yeah,

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like straight packed, just you know, a little any bit of manure.

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But you know it's just going to
be uncomfortable at the end of your

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shift. It's gonna be itchy,
so you just you ditch the drawers and

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you go just pants. We were
doing so good. Look these things are

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real. Oh I've done that exactly. This is relatable. I was in

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sixth grade. I remember it vividly. But and I had my name sewn

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into the underwear still, so they
knew no id bury it deep in case

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they identified a victim. Why it
was your name when you're underwear, I

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don't know that common. Oh that's
what moms used to do. They put

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your name on everything underwear. Well, maybe when you're in like kindergarten.

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And now it's a good question why
it was happening in sixth grade. But

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did it just say Siroy or did
it say Mikey. That's a great question

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to do. It may have said
Mike Siroy mls and your underwear, because

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then you realize what happened. I'm
like, all right, I'm gonna bury

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this thing in this I'll be all
right. I know for a fact it

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was in recess, and I jumped
as high as I could to make an

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interception and upon landing we had a
disaster. But yes, when you take

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it off, I'm like, oh, Mike, my name is on it.

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You know what, It's not a
bad idea. We're very diligent about

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packing our computers or copy points for
live spots, headphones, whatever. It's

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not a bad idea to stuff just
one extra pair of drawers in your backpack.

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You never know. That's always that's
probably fair, especially the old you

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get to right, No, this
happened when I was in my twenties.

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Oh my god. Yeah, it's
so weird. Ye, maybe it's not.

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It's just something that happened. Admitted
all that often. I have been

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an al roker at the White House
one time, and that was it really

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didn't Yeah, and he admitted it. Yeah, but he was in his

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you know, sixties or seventies,
and you're like, it can happen.

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I know a group of guys,
well I don't know them. Well,

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they're actually like been Skins friends or
Skins friends. I think four or five

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I think I've told you guys this
before or four. They one of them

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crafts their pants once a year and
they've got a big bet on it every

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single year. Really, it's like
five of them, and I think it's

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largely due to their drinking habits.
By the way, these guys are like

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doctors and lawyers. They all like
went to extra college to do whatever they

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do, you know, and one
of them, it just happens, will

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crap their pants in that year and
that one of the big bet payoffs was

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for one year was he had to
skate down the Katie Trail and the boar

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at Onesie. It's always the boar
at Onesie roller roller roller skating down the

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Katie Trail and the boar at Onesie. The bet, the thong and the

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butt crack, the butt cheeks hanging
out, darnay Holmes and it's uh okay.

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So they had like evidence and they're
like there's a lot of integrity with

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that group, Like if it happens, they own up to it and accept

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it no matter what. Is there
a close knit circle of people. I'm

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trying to be in their thirty modern
man of integrity. That's why I'm willing

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to admit these I like you.
I'd like to hear from listeners that have

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had similar situations or have you eaten
a medium pizza on the way home to

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tofu night knowing that you were going
to get just a tiny dinner on Tuesday.

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Yeah, they guys have brought you
some gifts. Really yeah, I

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love gift. So we played the
lottery the other night, right, mega

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million's paraball a million, half a
billion was at stake. Put thirty bucks

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in and we won two dollars.
Yeah, so we're negative twenty eight.

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So I was like, you know
what, I had fond memories of get

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I just stopped to get a diet
coke today it's Friday, said something,

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let loose, let your hair down, and I saw one of my favorite

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lottery tickets of all time, to
break the bank. So I got you

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guys some scratch offs, Kevin.
These a the fake ones where we win

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ten g's and get all excited and
then yes one is the fake one get

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arrested for punch Kevin in the nose. So you know that's sweet man.

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Thank you. It's like to each
one, we'll do them and break or

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something. See if we're going break
the bank, you know what I do?

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Thanks KEVINYJ. Do we agree that
if we win win the big prize,

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we pull it or are we keeping
it for ourselves? Yeah? My

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goal is to pull it I'll tell
you what. If I win, Kevin,

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I'll pay you all of the lottery
tickets that you paid for. Yeah,

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that's the fair thing. Actually,
I'll double it if Kevin wins.

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Will pull well, now, no, no, no, here's the problem.

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Now we're down forty eight dollars.
Soon you get this forty eight dollars

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back. Okay, this is where
we stem the tide. Yes, right

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back on top. Now it's a
thirty thousand dollars top prize playing the Texas

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Lottery. Break the bank, scratchy
thirty k Okay, I say we just

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keep them. I could do a
lot with thirty k. You know what

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in a move I do. I
try to be nice to people. I

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know, I've told you before.
Every year I get my mailman like twenty

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dollars in scratchers and I leave it
on the mailbox, you know, and

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I'm like, hey, for you, good luck, you know, for

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what you do. It's a hard
job. For the first time ever,

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Mikey, because you told me this
last year, or you shared this on

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the air, that you give a
little Christmas bonus gift to your mailman for

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the first time ever, I left
an envelope at the end of the year

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and it said on it, mister
postman, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year,

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and I put a twenty in it. Okay, I've never done that

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before. That's really sweet. Yeah, it's almost like your friend. It's

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not really your friend. Yeah,
it's maybe your wave friend, but they're

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come to your house every day.
The only human other than yourself. It

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comes to your house every single day, well most every day, every week

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day. It's just nice. And
I think that's really sweet. And I

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guarantee he's like whoa, and I'll
do something good for you too. Yeah.

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So another one I do is often
when I check out at a grocery

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store and I get a wild hair, maybe one in ten trips, I'll

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buy a scratch off, right,
like Christine is coming over, I'll have

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one, and I'll get two ten
dollars scratchers right from the girl or sure,

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and they're you know, they're whipped
because that's hard job. Can't imagine

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having to scan all that crap and
then bag it. It's just a hard

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it's just another drug. But I'll
get I'll get I'll say twenty bucks,

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I want two of those tens,
right, and then they whip. They're

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whipped and they rip them off and
they give them to me, and then

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I hold amount like all right,
one for me, one's for you,

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and then their face brightens up really
and then I let them take one and

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they lose. They probably lose.
I never hear the story, and it's

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not like I go in there and
follow up. But just for that moment,

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they're like whoa, and they snap
out of their malaise, they're redundant

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malaise and they look at me and
it's just a moment of optimism and hope.

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And then I don't know when they
scratch it off, maybe at night

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or maybe moments later. What grocery
store is selling the lotto tickets, all

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of them, the tom thumb right
on Hampton and it's right at the checkout

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thing. It's like you if you
did write a check still you write it

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on like top of the panel where
all the grocery or the scratchers are.

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But it's also sad. You ever
see someone whom you can tell at the

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seven eleven or gas station, and
it's like you shouldn't be dropping forty bucks

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on scratchers right now, Like if
you are actually clinging to these things with

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any hope whatsoever. That's a tough
spot, man. Yeah, steel reserve

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in the hand is worth five lottery
tickets in the bush. Ah, that's

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fair. Looks like we had a
collar. Remind you talk bath sons at

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seven, neighborhood watch coming up at
eight. It's back. I don't know

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here. We did so good off
the craft the pants thing. We got

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off of it, and now this
guy's gonna bring us back. He put

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the phone number out there. I
did not. I just didn't call in.

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All right, pant crabber, what's
well? You know. The lucky

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part was it wasn't actually me.
But way back in the day, this

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is twenty years ago, I worked
at a small automotive dealership and uh,

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the service manager and the GM one
by one took all the guys that worked

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at the dealership into the office and
I said, we need to see if

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you're wearing underwear, Like, all
right, it's weird, but okay,

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I got mine on. So twenty
guys were paraded in and out of the

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office, and I finally went back
him. I said, all right,

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what the hell's going on? But
that's a weird request to if somebody it's

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their underwear in the bathroom. Well
that's not a problem, And I'm like,

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yeah, but they stuffed it in
the toilet. Oh no, oh

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no, the devil whammy if well, that person's an idiot. I was

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just gonna say, what kind of
narc sleuth is like I need to let's

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do some underwear. But I suppose
in that case, if the toilet is

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now clogged and we got a problem, and he wants to know who the

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moron is, because it's fine if
you crap yourself, but don't don't try

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to flush it. It's also tiptoe
in the lines of sexual harassment to we're

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having a parade of undies. Well
I don't think twenty years ago was such

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a big deal, Kevin, but
maybe now, Yeah, Kevin, there

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was a different time, Kevin.
Oh so that absolves us from any responsibility

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just to say those yords. Yeah, so things that happened in the past

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are all just fine. Yeah,
right, fine. It's like Dandy driving

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past four houses in Frisco. It's
all good. Yeah, yeah, never

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slowed down, just kept driving.
What do you get what you keep saying?

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What are you getting into this morning? Man? I am uh,

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well, happily on my way to
work, it's Friday. I don't work

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weekends, So there's that you coming
to Kestler tonight. I am not.

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We are babysitting grandchildren today, and
man, I'm not sure they're up for

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the Kestler. I'm not sure they're
up for Kevin drinking. Get some gin

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and tonics for the kids. I
don't think any of us up for that.

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Okay, how and the weird thing
is there about the same height.

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And I just don't want them to
get over served, Like Kevin, Mike,

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I like you a lot, man, I like this dude a lot.

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Like cheap digs. Cool guy.
Yep, you don't just stay on

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the phone with the whole show and
just kind of be a part of it.

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Sure, why not? You would
love nothing more? He calls all

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the time. We could use a
hand today, Kevin. I've never called

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before. That's you have to perfect
Tommy or whatever. Perfect tom is it?

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No? No, it's not perfect. No, it's honest, Mike.

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You got me. It's a guy
who's got an adjective before the name.

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I know it's honest, Mike.
It's honest, Mike. Yeah,

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no it's not. It's what he
just said. Well, he's lying.

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Who is this tell the mike,
Okay, thanks for calling Mike. Then

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call you guys and drive but not
work, so sorry, deal with it.

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JJ, not to answer the damn
phone. That's why she loves answering

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the phone. Loves it as the
damn phone. That's pretty funny. Have

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a good all right, dragon Bragg? What is going on? You know

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it's bad when the caller is the
one that lets us go. Yeah,

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if you're what momentum works? All
right, guys, uh, holler on

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the radio. You guy should probably
transition and something else. And now shouldn't

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00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:14.039
you? You stayed on this crap
your pants topic entirely too long. He

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00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:18.160
did sound like he was at a
corvette race. What was that he did?

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00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:21.640
I'm down here in innis. That's
funny. Do you guys want to

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00:20:21.759 --> 00:20:25.880
hear Tony from yesterday again in downbeat
dollars? Actually? Yeah, it was

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00:20:25.880 --> 00:20:29.240
fun I got up square up with
you. What was our total that we

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00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:30.759
paid up? It was only thirty
five bucks. You scare up with me

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after you scratch off those lotto tickets? All right? All right, this

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is sorry, JJ. Here we
go plugging in. This is Tony who

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called it yesterday during downbeat dollars to
what what I believe is the only game

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in the Metroplex where the host are
giving you money directly out of their pockets.

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00:20:45.480 --> 00:20:48.519
I think, man, I thought
this was kind of funny. So

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00:20:48.920 --> 00:20:53.480
here you I've edited down for brevity. Okay, Ahi, what's your name?

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Tony? Up man? What are
you getting into today? Well?

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00:20:57.559 --> 00:21:00.119
I didn't think I was gonna naked. I was on line five, but

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00:21:00.160 --> 00:21:04.480
that guy drops his calls him here. Now let's play. Yes, stop,

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00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:08.359
all right, six dollars and fifty
cents. It's a great start.

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Your foot's in the door, Tony, your foot's in the door. That's

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00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:15.599
a good need more money, given
some more money? All right, I

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00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:36.880
don't even need that you get the
full sumner. Jesus, squeeze Tony your

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00:21:36.920 --> 00:21:42.839
thoughts. I couldn't be more upset. I'm really hoping that I get free

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00:21:42.920 --> 00:21:45.759
lunch today, and now I have
to wait until I get off work to

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00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:49.920
eat my beans and rice. Yet
again, beans, I mean you could

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00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:56.039
have took your six What is the
dollars gonna get me? Mike? Okay,

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00:21:56.079 --> 00:21:57.279
that's not You have nothing right now, Tony, you have zero.

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00:21:57.359 --> 00:22:00.240
So we'll take a TALKO or two. Give me another spin right now,

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00:22:00.359 --> 00:22:03.640
No, you hit a whammy.
Hold on, he does the man another

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00:22:03.720 --> 00:22:07.799
spin? Okay, if you get
a whammy, you have to Venmo six

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00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:11.680
and fifty spents. I will do
that, or Tony, the college baseball

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00:22:11.720 --> 00:22:15.039
tickets are there for you. I
don't want them there we go. Hold

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00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:17.920
on, hold on? How about
if he gets a whammy, he has

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00:22:17.960 --> 00:22:21.240
to go to the college baseball thing? Actually a good beta off because I

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00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:25.920
hate base make it go. Okay, all right, this is good.

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00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:38.039
We want spin. You have to
yell baseball whatever you want to stop them.

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00:22:41.200 --> 00:22:47.200
God, what a ride. Here's
a fireball right out of the gates.

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00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:51.440
It's funny because when they bad when
you go get their Venmo account right

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00:22:52.839 --> 00:22:55.799
so, I'm like, you know, looking forward and the venmo's accounts are

313
00:22:55.839 --> 00:23:00.440
weird because there's we all have Venmo
tension right before you clear it, go

314
00:23:00.839 --> 00:23:04.880
double check and it's like, what's
yours? Is it hyphened this too?

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00:23:06.519 --> 00:23:08.240
And everyone's like, I don't know, it's you know, there's just a

316
00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:12.480
little tension right at the end before
you click it his picture. I knew

317
00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:18.000
it was him because it's a guy
who's in a hammock like one foot's on

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00:23:18.039 --> 00:23:22.359
the ground kind of half out of
the hammock full legs bread. His legs

319
00:23:22.359 --> 00:23:26.400
are spread so he glasses on like
he's posing for the camera, and I

320
00:23:26.440 --> 00:23:29.759
was like, that's I feel like
that's the Tony we just had on.

321
00:23:30.519 --> 00:23:37.279
It was great, it's the jackpot. He crapped out and got the whammy

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00:23:38.000 --> 00:23:44.680
and said I demand another spin.
We're like, hang on, Well,

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00:23:44.680 --> 00:23:51.720
if he demanded it, I like
that the energy Okay, one willing to

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00:23:51.759 --> 00:23:55.880
bend the rules for a good collar
him. I wonder what his energy level

325
00:23:56.400 --> 00:24:00.359
would have declined to how he landed
on his second whammy and be stuck at

326
00:24:00.359 --> 00:24:07.759
a damn baseball game. We that
home state. Wow, that was something.

327
00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:11.039
I think. We still do have
a pair of baseball tickets to go

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00:24:11.079 --> 00:24:14.720
away too, We do, we
do? We also, I do want

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00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:17.000
to mention I just probably get more
of a call out for this from the

330
00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:21.920
neighborhood Watch at eight if you got
weird stuff happening in your neighborhood or on

331
00:24:21.960 --> 00:24:26.400
your next doorrap or something, there's
something texture calling at eight o'clock two and

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00:24:26.519 --> 00:24:30.119
four eight one seven seven eight seven
one nine seven one. I got a

333
00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:34.039
bunch of weird ones and Danny sent
a few in listener emailed me a couple

334
00:24:34.079 --> 00:24:38.079
of crazy ones too, So we'll
cover that at eight because we're the comedy

335
00:24:38.079 --> 00:24:45.079
first responders, but we're also trying
to clean up your neighborhood. That's probably

336
00:24:45.079 --> 00:24:49.680
a better way to put that.
So coming up next, Mike, Oh

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00:24:49.799 --> 00:24:56.240
yeah, Jesus blanking sea and a
chicken basket. We're on the Moon.

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00:24:59.119 --> 00:24:59.519
The Moon,