Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the six hundredth episode of the
Geek First Podcast. I'm the clown Prince of Webb's trust now, and I'm
joined by I am web Kirklan Potzer Nice, I'm I'm the ceiling guy must
And even though you can enjoy a some interview in the comment section, I
see Taylor Field with an emoji DJ DJ hand, so I know he's up
to tonight. I know he's a he's a long masson's asleep and he's DJing
himself. Yeah, that's what's happening. Take care of the baby, Terry
should have enjoy Man and Webb. We could mix those sentences. No,
no, no, she's taking care of the baby. He's doing he's doing
a little solo beatbox and this stuff. But yes, Leah Joan, it
is our six hundred. A big thank you. Our original plan was to
do the town hall and the six hundred kind of combined, so there would
have been more, you know, thank you, maybe swapping a story here
and there. We'll do that. Our town hall is gonna be probably end
of February March. We'll kind of do more overall, thinking people that are
still with us whatnot. But yeah, just a general thank you to The
numbers are all over the place, but I know for sure we've definitely least
done six hundred of these, So a big thank you to everybody that's been
with us. Or if this is your first time you're clicking on Madame Web,
hopefully year for episode twelve hundred or at least six oh one, give
us a six o one, give us a two week try. You know,
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And uh yeah, let's get into it. So we've been here, you
know, we've we've been anticipating Madam Web. We've done go back in the
feed if you want. I didn't re release the episodes, but if you
want, and if not on YouTube, you got the Venoms, you got
the Madam Or, you got the morbiuses, you got the Man of Webs.
Now, uh, there will be a Creating review and I guess there
will be a Venom three review. Uh, there's we've reviewed all the Spider
Man we just a couple of weeks ago. Oh, go ahead, we
got to do a Sony versus the Golden Geeks. By the end of all
this. Oh yeah, when I think comes, yeah, but I feel
like it will eventually come, and I think that will be a fun past
to do. That's tough because the bad thing if they introduced Miles Morales,
this thing's gonna go on for a while. I do we'll get to My
hope is with Venom three, that's the end. They clean slate it.
But I can't trust Sony, and maybe that's what we're gonna talk about today.
So as usual, we're gonna give us our give you our overall thoughts,
our experiences, non spoilers, and because I have gone this from a
lot of people, if you don't care, we will of course give you.
But if you don't care, you can stick around for the spoilers.
I've talked to at least three people that said I won't be seeing the movie,
but I'll listen to your full spoilerser if you sound great, and I
guarantee you might have more fun here. I don't know, but I just
want to go around and gauge the room before we get into the actual films.
What was your crowd like, what was the number of people, what
was the you know, what was going on there? I feel like it
was a packed theater. I don't know if an empty seat whoa. I
think it was the smallerish, but it's still like a lot of seats.
It is Valentine's. There was at least five people who had a bouquet of
flowers. Whoa so definitely a big This seems to be the Valentine's hit this
year started high and then like what we do next after this big Mack place.
Now we're mostly Madam Webb. They're probably just mac in the whole movie.
They weren't actually watching it correctly. Uh. Yeah, it was pretty
pretty busy. I was in the biggest theater on the west side, like
the extreme, and definitely there was open seats just because it's such a big
theater. Like the front row, like that whole section was mostly empty.
There's always an odd duck that likes to sit in that front section. I
don't know if they just want to be alone, but I feel like I
got to start doing that now. It's it's in the back, that's in
the front. You know, all the notes you want. But yeah,
no, it was pretty busy. Like I was surprised when I was picking
my seats and uh, you could just see like all the sections of like
Two's like it's it was pretty obvious a lot of Valentine's dates were going out
to see this, and uh, just the like the whole uh parking lot
was just full honestly for the west Side Theater because they have Anyone but you
like Valentine's edition, Yes out that Roum Comma Sydney Swinging also on VOD if
you don't, and they also have Dune re release on the West Side nine
pm tonight. So you were right, Yeah, I was. I was
right. Anyone but you dn't is just like extra. It's just like a
little extra scenes, extra out takes, stuff like that. Nothing, nothing
too key to it. But I would recommend watching it VOD at home,
as I just saw it yesterday and I will refer back to it in the
review later on Sony Sidney Sweeney. Yeah, it's uh, make them away
around Yeah, okay, that's it. Uh yeah, yeah, I'm huh.
I mean yeah, no, I was. So this was definitely more
full than when we saw Awkaman, because I feel like it was you,
me, Taylor and five other people. Definitely more than I saw the Marvels.
I'm trying to think. I guess it probably was the level of the
flash because the flash was that that was one where it wasn't busy because obviously
the numbers didn't do all but it's like, okay, there's some people here,
but yeah no, there were there was quite a few couples, and
then there was this moment right before the movie started. There was like,
for sure eight to ten kids that walked in all together and I'm at the
very back, so I look at my side, the right side, and
everyone just looks over and it's like, oh, fuck, we're gonna our
time is about to be ruined. I'd say twenty five percent of the people
were there and actually laughed at the jokes. I had a good crowd because
I like seventy five percent of the crowd was like me that knew what they
were getting into. Maybe it was I had a lot of youth in there,
so maybe that was it. There was also a I think a date
that was there and their parents drove them because it was two people together,
and then they walked back three rows and talk to these adults and they were
given money, and so I was like, oh, that's kind of cute,
you know, like that, that's fun. You know, you're we're
not gonna see men alone, but you'll watch you. They're doing the James
Franco on the date and everything like that. I already bitch in this movie.
I don't see it being a big hit for kids. So It was
all definitely middle school and up kids like that sort of age, and I
think it was in the sense of laughing at it or having a good time
with it, not actually enjoying it as usual. I was alone, so
I sat in the back. I already bitched these guys. When I looked
at the theater tickets, there was two people sitting right beside me, which
I don't understand. I feel like if I was another couple, and if
I had to sit beside somebody, I would sit beside another couple, not
a person, because at least it's not as awkward. You're like, oh,
they're having fun, we're having fun, an other gifts and you're kissing.
Maybe you was like right in the middle, right right in the middle,
so it's right now. People want to be closer to the middle,
I guess. But sit at least one over, at least leave a seatro
you have to at least be in the middle, or else you're just not
gonna see anything. At Least sit one seat in between us. But no,
it was right beside, so I ended up sitting in the handicap seat.
I moved aside. But yeah, in the future, like sit with
another couple. Maybe you talk, you know, maybe you have a fun
time, you get them going. Maybe people are like, hey do you
do you want a party? And maybe you go back to your house,
have a couple of drinks, and maybe you learn like you enjoy double penetration.
I don't know, but those are what you could be missing out sit
beside a couple, because you never know what doors would be opened. Sitting
beside the one person. I'm not opening that door. And it was a
seven year old couple who they were in the twenty five percent of they were
not in on the having a bad time maybe or whatnot, So it was
they seem a litt annoyed at times. I agree with you, Travis that
they should have at least given you an extra seat. But I still look
at the bold move that if you're going alone to be choosing dead center,
Like if I go alone, I'm never picking that dead center spot. I
like today, I was off to the right and I took the second from
the edge because I feel like if I take right at the edge, maybe
like three people will go in like right, and then I'm pinned to the
side. I figured right there, like like no one's gonna be taking that
one seat, and then I feel like most people wouldn't be wanting to be
in between me and then other people, so I got lucky. I was
alone in my little quick vicinity. There's some people behind me, and then
people like three three spots over to my left, and then to the next
section I guess over to the right. I had some people, but for
the vast majority, I feel like everybody was like enjoying the jokes that were
supposed to hit other than me. And I just felt like a bit of
a goofball on this because there were so many moments when I just couldn't help
but laugh at, like just some of the things that I was seeing,
not not because it was funny, just because it was so ridiculous that it
made me just chuckle. And I was trying to hold it in because I'm
like, all these people are on dates and I'm just the one guy dressed
in like all Spider Man outfit. They probably think my day just like bailed
on me or something. Did you just see a Spider Man outfit? Oh,
I just got all my my gear on, I got my swing Spider
Man sweat. That was a risky move to go alone in Spider Man gear.
What you're doing over here, guy representing? I'm represented being mud.
There only people laughing at in our theater and people, yeah, we're taking
it pretty seriously. It seemed like, okay, I had a good crowd
then I had definitely Maybe the young'ins are just looking at that they're growing out
with superhero movies, like all these are stupid, you know? So have
you guys seen the trailer for Tarot is the first time I even heard about
this movie, first time I'd ever heard of it. And what shocked Tarot?
Yeah, like you no, you know, trailer man, this is
up your aller. There was a lot of maybe not a lot, but
there's a handful of elderly people that were like shocked that that trailer was on
there, like what what do we see? Like they're like gasping, just
like how intense that trailer? It was an intense trailer, like I wasn't
expected. I want to see it now for sure. It looks freaky best
horror category of next years. Like it actually looked good. I think a
lot of practical effects and good imagery and all good and all that, So
I'm into it. Okay, I'll add it to the list. Don't should
people be adding this to the list of what they should be seeing in twenty
twenty four. Oh that's a tough that's a tough question. I mean,
I yeah, I'm so fresh out of the theater here, I just walked
up the street and I started talking to you guys pretty much, so I'm
still processing all of it. But you know, I think for me,
I think this was so bad it was good. I had a really fun
time with this movie. For that reason. What Kirklam was mentioning, I
was just laughing through this whole thing, and he gave me more laughs in
like a comedy, you know. Was was a lot of that intentional.
No, some of it maybe even was, but then it was just so
cheesy that I got an extra chuckle of how bad some of these lines were.
Some really weird plot points that make no sense. A lot. There's
a lot of that in this movie. A lot of things that don't make
any sense. Uh, And I don't know, it went by pretty quick,
like what is the I guess the run time is it's like or something.
Yeah, okay, so it's I feel like I'm used every movie these
days being like over two hours long. So I don't know. There's one
one section for me that was like the pacing was pretty savage and there wasn't
really anything interesting funny happening. So I was a little little dull for a
bit there, But for the most part I had fun, just like making
fun of this stupid movie. Me and MUD's constantly looking over at each other
and chuckling at Like there's all sorts of weird dubbing issues in this movie with
characters and lip syncing, just so many weird plot points that make no sense.
So I I really had a great time with it. I put it
in that camp of like when we saw The Predator, right is the name
of that movie where the whole thing or tomb Raider or even even venom one,
Right, Like, it's in that ballpark for me. So if I'm
not going to recommend it as a high quality movie, especially as like a
Kombook movie, there's like only a couple action sequences, and one is just
horrendous, maybe the worst action scene sequence I've ever seen in the Kombook movie
and not even not even exaggerating, it's really really bad. But yeah,
if you like these kind of so bad, they're good, Like really bad
scripts and stupid plot points. It's a good time, So yeah, don't
Maybe you don't need to go to the theater for it unless you really want
to support these Sony Verse make sure more of these movies happen. But definitely,
if you're into this kind of thing, watch it at home when it
comes out. I think it. I think it's I think it's worth it
for me. Not that I'll ever rewatch it again, but for that one
viewing, I was thoroughly entertained, which you know, you can't ask for
much more than that of the movies, right mm hmm, Patroon producer Sam
Grease for our next cast or, I think if you're going alone and solo,
you need to gather away a little bit. No, I plant the
flag, I take the mill and say this is mine. Go away.
But that's fine. Kirkham pats are Grease. Do you agree a Dylan on
this movie? I coming into this, I was gonna say, like,
this is such a bad movie. The writing is so bad. I do
not recommend you see this. I will never rewatch this. But like now
that I've stewed on it a little bit, and like those really funny moments
I do agree with Dylan that this is this is probably so bad. It
is good for like one viewing, and I I think you can watch it
with friends then you'll get a good time out of it. I have no
intention of rewatching this, even though I had some of those thoughts of just
like I do want certain people to see this scene of what's going on,
just to like maybe reaffirm of what I'm actually seeing is happening, because this
is just this is just so ridiculous with some of the places that we go
here and even just some decisions to do, like I'll get to him in
spoilers, but I yeah, I was definitely holding it in to try not
to be like obnoxious, because, like I said, most of my theater
was actually seemed to be like digging it. There was like I don't know,
I feel like maybe in that forty year old crowd of just they don't
see a lot of movies, but it's just like, oh, what are
we gonna do on Valentine's they just go see this and they were liking it,
like they were laughing at all the intentional jokes, as I'm just like
trying to hold in my gut laughter at some certain line or like an ad
r the fact that the character just has which it seems like the entire movie.
I don't know, maybe they should have just masked him for the whole
thing. But nonetheless, it's almost like us first time filmmakers thought of that,
except what I was thinking of. That's what I was thinking of.
He's not even really attempting to act either. He's just straight. But like,
I'm not gonna say who and what? But we had to sit and
I get it. Movies are hard. That HAPs all the time. There's
a scene our movie that we had to do almost all but adr because location
got it's gone because the fire here in Colownas and the audio was shipped because
it was so windy. So it's okay, So I'm not gonna say who,
but so and so you gotta record all this, and I were I've
worked that's the hardest part I've worked on in this film. But I specifically
said, let's do these scenes with you masked, just because it'll probably be
better just in case. And the fact that they didn't do it, and
this is like at least an anything and all our budget thing and we're running
like a couple hundred it's like no one had to wear a fall to think
about this, And like I said, who knows what happens, right,
who knows what happens in this edit. But there's definitely some uh dubbing issues.
It feels like when you've torn to a movie or if I used to
back in the day and you got this the track it's like five seconds behind,
and you're like, oh, well this will do you know, like
oh wat shit. But for a moment, I'm like, maybe he only
actually speaks Spanish and this is supposed to be like some some interesting thing where
like they just have a different character, like tell his voice. Maybe it's
gonna be like a plot thing too, but like no, it's just it's
just some weird edit thing. And yeah, like it is a like I
think eighty million dollars. I think that is a big budget for a movie
like this. Oh yeah, just to even go with like the plot that
we had and some of the writing dialogue. It just baffles me with the
quality of some of that and these sony like movies. I was thinking about
it as I was watching this movie. I'm just like, I just think
they shouldn't do origins, like like just jump into like a middle of a
character, like there is a lot of more expens that's probably why they're not
doing it. I thought the same thing. I'm like, why don't we
just have film all these Spider wm I'm like, all right, because those
would have a bunch of action scenes and powers. We got some papers in
here, yeah, like we got some end scene. I'm like, oh,
yeah, that's that's a glimpse of something that I don't want to see
going for So yeah, I'll just save the rest of my thoughts for spoilers.
But if you're into what we kind of talked about, yeah, go
see it. Probably you can wait for VOD though, Yeah, I think
you hit the nail and head that. Yeah, definitely if you're not into
this stuff. Even if you're into this stuff but you haven't like the Sony
stuff, definitely wait for vo D if you don't have to see it.
I think there's other stuff even like save your money, oh see doing again
or something, because I know some people maybe didn't see it the first time
in theaters. But I think I agree with Kirkland Moore when you said it's
a good so and Dil said this too, But you know, Kirklin just
said the line of like no, no, no, he did. Kirklin
just I'm literally ripping when he said, like it's so bad, it's so
good for a one time watch. And that's the way where it's not one
of those where it's like, oh, I'd love to get yeah, like
I can't. He did, but in a varied degree, you know,
like there's a movie that I still be Yeah, that's why I meant to
say that. Dylan's also saying this as well. There's a movie that me,
Kyle and Liam absolutely love and one time I want to do on geek
versus. It's called Knock Knock. It's Keanu Reeves on Armis and some other
people. Well, and it is so bad. It's good. But that's
when I could watch weekly because it's just prime cinema. This not so much
because there are sections where they're just not fun or it's just very dull.
This movie, even at one fifty six, I think could have been shorter.
I think there's a couple of subplots you just take out, which feels
odd to say that. And I don't think it was long particularly, but
I did. I mean, because I was on I did check my phone
at least four times and be like, Okay, how much do I got
left here? Because I was feeling it sometimes. So I'm trying my best
this year overall to be more not so like negative, not in the negative
sense of like I'm gonna say something's bad or not, but not be as
harsh. So I don't even know if I could agree. And I think
I'm gonna do this on the next trast told you of, like be like,
oh, that's one of the worst comic movies ever. I don't know
if I can get there, but I've never I haven't made a list in
a long time, the top ten, so I'm not saying it's not there.
I think the unfortunate thing is at times this feels like an SNL skit,
but it's not funny, and that's the bad thing. Or it's funny
because like it's funny because it's so bad here, right, But it just
feels like, especially the last fifteen minutes, the way things are framed,
it feels like I've seen exact shots on SNL and there's a punchline going on,
but they just took it out, So that's not good. I think
our main lady leads. There's no bad acting So that's why again i'd have
to look at the worst com movies because I think they're all trying hard and
personally, I actually think Sidney Swing is better in this than anyone but you,
because anyone but you they give that character nothing and she is just like
very dry in that movie. At least here, I don't know if I
agree her playing like some sort of high school girl, like I think,
like that took me out of it. I just saw her play a woman
in EUPHORIAUS. She's about like, I don't know, that was kind of
odd, like, oh, let's just put some frumpty clothes on her and
some glasses and like, oh, she's sixteen against Like I don't know about
that, but al right, I'll accept it. Here we go. So
there. It's not that they're bad, it's just there's nothing here that I
definitely want to return to. There's definitely nothing here I want to recommend you.
Guys already talked about the ADR. There's some weird stuff. Dialogue in
general is the classic Sony dialogue where it is nine two thousand kombook movies,
but somehow worse, like it's just some of these lines that they think of
I don't understand multiple plot points and character decisions that don't make any sense.
People give Game of Thrones last season shit about fast travel. I don't know
how you get to Peru in two hours and back, but you know we're
gonna get there. There's so many things where it's just head scratching and what
I will say, at least with a steak. And this is not to
be mean to the guy. I don't know about the movie, but I
definitely think this villain is a is a top ten all time bad kombook villain
because not only just the like the technical issues, the things they have them
say, the things that make them do. The line that where's my spiders?
Don't take my spiders is gonna be burned in my head forever because is
the gift I was talking about here when I private message you and I'm like,
I can't wait for gifts for this movie. It's out of know when
my spiders don't take my spiders? Like everything's very slowed down or sped up,
and even action shot choices this movie looks ugly at times, like action
sequence look like they had it zoomed out and like, ah, this isn't
good. Zoom it in times ten and this will cover for it. I
can't see what the fuck's going on, not all the time, but sometimes,
and I think that's on purpose because it probably wasn't good. So there's
not much I can say here. I think, yeah, if you're into
this, definitely watch it with a friend. Again, I would have preferred
to seeing this with Emily or somebody because I saw it Morvious and I had
much more better time with that. But even Morvius, I do agree to
think there's there's higher Highs and Morvious than there is here. At times it's
a superhero film, at times it's a thriller. At times it's trying to
be a horror movie, but it doesn't ever really make sense. It all
just kind of comes off as type of cheesy. My last line is I
feel like when we talked about when I was in school and I was liking
wrestling, which that was another thing in combook stuff. That's the loser geek
stuff, right, And then we talked about how like the past ten years,
Avengers everything that was top the game, so it was cool to be
a combook fan. I feel like this is the type of movie that if
someone watches and you say you're a superhero fan, You're like, oh you
watch that shit, like you're a fucking loser. Like I feel this is
the stuff that you would get picked on for, like oh you like the
Man Web. No, No, I just want to Oh that's gross.
You waste your like it. It is the type of stuff that I said,
like, this is really bad for combat movies, and I we still
got two more and I don't know if they can be worse than this,
but uh yeah, not not great, not not a good time in the
cinema in the sense of like you wanting to see the movie, but like
is that surprising? It's like, is what Sony does? You know?
It's like I see these because of the podcasts, and I still like seeing
superhero stuff, like support it, but I just feel like this is it's
gonna be varying degrees of this as until there's a massive seismic shift in producers.
It's gonna be this. So buckle up, you know, buckle up.
Any they say non spoiler before we go on, I don't think so.
All right, We're gonna take our spoilers. So if you if you
do care and you don't want to see it, come back at another time.
It'll be there in the feeds. You got the review feed all that
good jazz. Check out a Drennonchrome March Shift teenth. We're talking about that.
There's a trailer out for that for that better adr there. We tried
our best. We'll be right back, and we are back. Where do
we want to start with? Madam Webb? Okay, that's it fund rating
voice. I don't want to say it, but do you want what do
you want to go to? I know Kirk started at the beginning as that's
what I was going to say. It's the Mother with the Amazon forests.
Not great edit, not a great opening. It's the it's about the spiders.
They hit the in this movie. They treat everything like you've never seen
a spider movie before, so they gotta explain, Oh, what are these
spiders about? Super speed super It's like we fucking know, like just say
they're enhanced. But now they gotta get the whole shebang, just like I'm
skipping. But later on when which I'm gonna just use Dylan as example here
because he's the most recent one I would have had this conversation with when Dylan
and I I hate what you talked those before I had. But when I'm
talking, when I'm doing like oh these Dan's a un cool, I'm talking
and sayd who are you Day? And he's like, what's her name?
The way they try to make Aunt May like this big, like oh fuck,
who's he dad? And then he never like she's special, like okay,
but like what's he like? It was the honest take they had Adam
Scott just like what's her name? She's like just say May like it's just
it's odd the way they're like, what's the baby's name gonna be? Why
is this the thing my mom would watch this and know, oh, that's
clearly gonna be Peter Parker. Why is Emma Roberts, who leads multiple movies
like rom coms throughout years, Why is she in this movie for ten minutes
as Mary Parker praying? But I just hate like the spiders Uncle Ben and
Uncle Ben they do say Ben Parker, but like Aunt May Peter Parker,
like they all hide this stuff like we don't know, like this is the
first time ever experiencing me spading. We've had ten Spider Man, I don't
know, animated Spider Verse ones. We've at least had ten Spider Man movies.
We know the drill, so just say we're thinking at God have Peter.
Oh that's cute, but like I guess the name, like I so
the stuff with the spiders and it being all like GUESSI and whatnot, stupid
stupid stuff. Don't do it. It's not it's not clever. It's not
clever. That's my mini ram. Yeah, I agree. I thought all
that usage was was very dumb, and it was. It was corny and
cheesy, and I don't think like it even was really working on my crowd.
I was saying, they're mostly into it. There's no one like oh
yeah, like like bump and shoulders, like I know who he's talking about.
It just seemed to cut or sorry, it seemed it seemed rather wasteful
to like do that stuff because I feel like beyond that, they don't really
try and like convince the viewer that like this is this is the same Spider
Man universe that you know in love like like it just seems like its own
story, So like why even do that stuff? And I don't think there's
any like like it's all like Oscorp is like relevant in this mood, like
like there's not other major like Spider Man and ties. I think, so
to just like dance around like that stuff, Like why even have like the
pregnancy go on, Like you don't need that extra variable that goes on in
that scene because when it gets down to it and you have Ezekiel Sims like
about to basically murder the three girls, Ben Parker, uh future Peter Parker
and his mother, like after that moment, it just goes with the with
our main characters and then like they're just stuck there at like times square with
with her like in the middle of labor. It's like there's no consequence,
it seems, and then by the end it's just like here's the baby.
Oh my gosh. Yeah, Mary and Ben Parker have seen an evil Spider
Man already, so it's over for you. Like there you know that they
know that. Yeah, it's literally that meme when you're this is like when
your son turns out to be a Spider Man and you don't know it,
it's over for you. And they didn't even do something cool like everyone theorizes
like, oh, this baby's Peter Parker and it's gonna get killed. They
didn't. They just put it in there for like lame fan service stuff,
you know. Yeah, I guess they like trying to draw some symmetry between
her upbringing and the time of her mother's death with like this pregnancy and how
things have changed this time and the mother survives. I guess that's maybe what
they were going for, but it didn't really feel like it needed to be
in there. I guess I'm not as bothered by this subplot as you guys
were. I think maybe because it was such a small part of the movie.
But I was even surprised, like even for that, I thought Adam
Scott would be in this way less than he was. Not that he has
a ton of screen time, but since we take a while of just like
her being a paramedic like that, we spend a lot more time doing that
than I even thought. Oh god, the fact that he's there in like
the final action sequencing, but if he's not at that one building and then
they're in the hospital the end, So we got more of him than I
thought. And I actually liked the chemistry between those two. Yeah, that
was fine. I didn't have a problem with that. There is galog issues
of course, like that once and you mentioned and other stuff, especially when
she goes to, uh, I guess May's house and that whole like birth,
why is she there? It's really weird. It's weird because I would
understand if this was like Ben, which I wasn't. When they were talking
about like who you're dating, were they inferring that Ben and Cassandra had been
together before, like they were an item before or not. I don't think
so. I don't think it's really he wasn't dropping the name because this is
different. This is like, yeah, I'm gonna be the one, you
know, And then it's like, I'm so happy for you, buddy.
They're that kind of friends that he is inviting her to his sister in law's
baby shower. That feels like the most oddest setup ever. I'd understand who
it was his kid. I'm like, hey, my wife and I are
having a kid, but like it's my sister in the relationship that that's the
he's mentioning her h to his good friend Cassie there. I agree. So
it's it's odd that she comes to that. But there's just even again with
the East egg stuff. One of the first things Madame Webb says to Ben
Parker is they're going back and forth in the ambulance, it's like, what
you don't want to get shot New York, like just find like, oh
yeah, we get it, Ben Parker in a couple of years is gonna
get shot. Very funny, Like it's just that that's where there's just south
throughout they kept like trying like doing the whole shoulder bump, and I guess
it just bugged me just because what it felt like is how we have these
not rumors Superman and Batman going public domain in like a decade. It reminds
me of that where it's like there's certain aspects of Spider Man they're allowed to
use but not so it's why they're like, well they're gonna say it,
but not say it, Like you could allude to the Joker, but you
can't say the word joker. So maybe it was just me being nickpicky,
but it was just maybe it's that starting of her saying, hey, yeah,
you're gonna get like you don't get shaw New York. It's like,
okay, I get it. I think I think also like just any any
little like cheesy one liners, like referencing like a Spider person throughout this like
not not even just because of our spider person villain, but more so just
like, uh, when like Peter's mom, which, what's the mom's name?
What's Richard? Mary? Mary? So Mary Parker when Mary has like
the baby's like, oh, he's leaping around in there, and just like
like that she said it, like it's like, oh, he's swinging around
with webs, like in there us is a web. It's crazy. It
was just like a spider. I rolled my eyes in all those moments,
and like it just was so unnecessary, Like I think this would have works
well, there's a lot of things that could have changed to make this just
a lot more of a refined story overall, and just a better written tale.
You gotta take this brick by brick, though. I don't think there's
things you could change. I think you literally have to do like the whole
Yeah, like let's start from square one again, like keep the actresses and
whatnot, like keep the talent again. I'm still surprisedly, like I wonder
if Emma Roberts got cut, because I just feel like it was strange for
her to be not that she's a big time actress, but she's bigger than
like a seven minute cameo and like like maybe I guess maybe the idea is
they have this because maybe there's a sequel. It would be like her with
Little Peter. I don't know, is that the idea of like if she
can she's not cunning, then we're coming back. And maybe maybe she knew
like, Okay, Dakota Johnson is attached to this and it's like, oh,
it's like a women led like superhero thing, and maybe she in the
MCU. Yeah. I mean they probably lied to her about that too.
You're gonna get to be with Chris Evans in the next one or something they
did. I remember there was this trending tweet last week, bring the tweets
back, We're both Sidney Sweet and Dakota Johnson. They got an announced to
the cast on Instagram. They tagged Sony Pictures and they tagged Marvel's Studios.
And there was this legit story that came out that Madam Webb, when the
trailer came out the next day, Dakota Johnson dropped her town agency and went
with somebody else. Now that could just be a coincidence, but I do
think a lot of these people did think they were in that universe and then
they clearly found out that no, we're not. Especially we heard about those
reshoots of them taking out like certain spider stuff, right, alluding to other
things like we have told them that that was not the case, though,
Like how how oblivious are they? They don't. I think if they got
a good enough agent that's trying to get a check, can be pretty oblivity.
It's like, oh no, they're gonna connect, trust me, like
Tom, Tom does both he's in so like it's gonna like, I guarantee
they fucking they wet their wheels. I don't know if that's an expression,
but they oil them autom Yeah. But yeah. The beginning very rapid,
very this mom she's trying to get power. She wants the Spider to heal
people. So we get introduced this very big CGI spider that gets captured off
screen. Very odd choice. It's literally I'm looking for the Spider as Ego
go somewhere else. I found the spider odd editing, and then Ezekiel just
pulls out a gun and starts going warzone and everybody. And then just like
I understand the needs a spider, but I don't understand why he wrestles for
it, like just knee Kapper, like it's a very awkward situation. They're
doing some very like I think Zach Sander does it really well. They're doing
the weird Zack Snay Michael Bay thing where it's like it's in a shot and
they like zoom in like really cool, like they do this only like the
beginning and the end did not like that at all. Was very off putting
by this choice, So the entire opening was a bad taste in my mouth.
There's some weird stuff there too, where like in the first sequence,
now maybe Ezekiel's just like holding back this info that he knows, but it
seems like he doesn't really know, Like it seems like he just is like
a hired gun here and he's helping out this back to camp and he's rightfully
through papers, and it seems like that's the moment when he learns what these
spiders are doing. But then in like the dialogue sequence after that, he's
like talking about how he needs this power because he's looking for years. Yeah
he's been, so I got very confused, like why was he rightfully through
the papers? I gues suppose he maybe trying to find a picture of what
the spider is supposed to look like, yeah, she knew more than him,
I guess go track one down himself, and then she showed up.
But my god, that that attempt to add like backstory for him is one
of the laziest things, like pieces of writing I've ever seen for any movie
ever where. Just like in the middle of this altercation, he's like,
oh, well, I grew up poor, and I grew up with a
like I had a really hard upbringing. And he's just saying all these things,
right. It's like, really, that's the best you can do to
make make us have sympathy for this villain. But it's like it also comes
way too fast because he's already killed like innocent people and he's about to kill
this other lady who we are you know, if there's anyone who care about
in this opening sequence, it's her. So it's like, okay, you
think that little line line of sympathy that we don't see any of that,
it's just him telling us a couple of these little details. It's it's so
lazy. It's the same thing I could not stand that Winnie had he had
the dreams, right, which I got questions about this later, But to
his assistant to Madam Webb. It'll be like, well, I need to
kill these girls because in the future they kill me, and I swear I
would get drunk if I took a shot. He every time I said,
and they're gonna get powers because they both the ladies, why do you need
to do this? And his answers, well, they're gonna get powers.
But it's just like you've not established I thought the movie would at least do
that, of show some version where these women are bad and do something,
and that's his pitch of like you don't want them to get powers because they
do X, Y and Z, and he could be lying whatever, but
his answer is always like they're gonna kill me and they're gonna get powers,
so like why should we not let them get the powers? Why should we
not let them kill you? Like what any And then nothing happens. He
just will always say that and be like, well, I'm coming for you,
Like I don't understand what his pitch was about them getting powers is why
we have to take him out? And I guess it's just like there's no
not like I know. I guess I just would rather all be bad like
him, just be purely bad. And I feel like they were trying.
Like you said, he with the backstory, just make it that guy wants
to be powerful. Because if you're gonna give him lackluster writing and not make
him a villain, that woe care about. I'll just go for like the
evil bad guy. I think you need either a better actor a better dialogue,
because none of the stuff was working for me with him at all.
He wasn't scary. I wasn't intrigued by him anytime he was on I don't
want to use the word but like I won't say cringe, but unsettled.
Anytime he was on screening on the Good Way, I was not. I
wish I had a fast forward, But all those scenes with him and the
secretary or the apprentice late or whatever, that those weren't there the end.
Do you think skipping to the end, Like, what do you think she
does after all this? She probably finds out that he died. Yeah,
I guess she just ransacks his hotel and run. But she was there for
the papers, didn't she a spider Now there's probably some postcred scene they cut
somewhere and she's some Spider Man woman villain. She's like scream or some Spider
Man woman. Yeah, so I don't know, but they shot those all
on a day because she was it'd been multiple days and her hair was the
same. She's wearing the same outfit, so she's just what sitting stinky in
this chair for a week looking for these people. Yeah, maybe there was
an other Sorry, just one last point here, Kirk, because it's once
again so I kind of unclear what Ezekiel feels about the mother character, because
it doesn't really seem like he cares about her all. It's more just like
he just wants the Spider and none of this other stuff really matters. But
then he also hates her randomly the same like, because there's a line in
the lot that is skipping to the final action scene when he's going down again,
he's going against Cassie and he's like, you're just like your mother.
It's like, what does that even mean in this context? I know,
like, does does he hate the mother? And what does she the mother?
It's just it's just one of those generic lines that they threw in there
because he has he knew who who she was, but it didn't really make
any sense. And her response is you thought your future was them it's me
this guy for years has been but like he is. It's not like there's
some twists that she's manipulating him. He's generally been having visions about these three
girls killing him. Like he's not wrong, like that is his future.
It's you change the future. It's just the whole dialogue there that feels like
there was some reshot or cut out stuff there. I don't know. Yeah,
I absolutely despise this villain. I think he's so forgettable and it's not
even like like, yeah, there is no redeeming qualities for him because he's
just He's just he kills a pregnant woman, he's super selfish. He just
wants these powers. They never really talk about like what he would get from
the powers. I guess he's just powerful. He's just Spider Man. We
don't have that. Oh God, and the land. Yeah remember now that
there's like a whole island of Spider Man's great Yeah. Yeah, Peter Parker
so special now you know, there's a fucking caught it. Some of the
hundreds of Spire people now though they don't have their there. What what the
fuck was going on there? Like the power up into Yeah, why did
thirty years ago. They look like the guys from Peter Jackson's King Kong,
and then when Madam Webb meets them, they're looking like fucking I don't know
male models that are working for Tom four. He has like he's I just
finished the Fall shoot, Like what happened here? Yeah? Like like I
get someone to say, well, frames was thirty years ago, it was
the seventies. Why are they trying to say these people were like cave man?
I don't know, odd odd so So back to Ezekiel, uh yeah,
Like I like he has no redeeming qualities and he's not even menacine like
like like all throughout the whole movie, he's just trying to get these teenagers
because he's terrified that they're gonna murder him at some point in time. And
it's it's never like he's he knows he's so powerful, it doesn't matter,
like what's gonna happen, Like he's gonna be able to kick their asses.
He's just like so on the back foot, and he never really seems like
he has the one up on on on anyone at any point, Like he's
always kind of just reactive. I guess, like like he's supposed to be,
like you said, try, I was like Spider Man, like,
how many times is he gett hit by a fucking car in this movie?
Almost like God again, like he didn't get that Spider sense. And I
did not like his his outfit either, like in the movie. I feel
like in the trailer I was I was undecided on how I felt just across
the board on the outfits. I feel like, uh, Juliet carp or
I guess Julie Cornwall like her outfit in this was was the one that I
was. I was the most intrigued him, just because, like, way
back, way back before we even got this movie, I always wanted,
you know, I thought Sidney Sweet would be a great Julie Carpenter character.
And what we got on the trailer, I'm like, maybe that's a good
look, But in the movie, I am so not a fan of it
at all. I do not like the mask at all. I feel like,
you gotta have the the full white eyes firmx. She doesn't even have
a mask. It's just like these little like strands on her face, Like
oh, if she had the better eyes, then he wouldn't be able to
use that tracking technology to find her. Oh my god, this is what
they look like, so coding to what you say from your visions. This
is what they look like. Complete, it's perfect, perfect, Like literally,
it's taking a picture of the actresses and then they're like, and this
is what they might look like ten years younger. It's just the same picture,
but the masks are off, like they don't look any younger or older.
Like in that aspect, they should have got older actresses to play the
spider women. They're teenagers and they like are aging, and we're like yes
at that point, but they just looked the same. And it was just
so fu there's so much younger than what I was expected. It's like they
looked the exact same, but they just didn't didn't tell me. Kids like
her one line of sympathy and we're like, oh, maybe she's on the
edge of this, and then just never mentions again. Well he has an
answer, he says, but these girls are gonna have powers one day,
but that oh, yeah, we gotta kill them. You're right, But
see, I I was fine. I can't judge the outfits because it was
the way they were shot. I don't mind her not having the eye holes
because it's like the Batman thing where you think it's good until you see it
and you go, oh, like now they just look like a dummy that
can't move right. So I'm fine with seeing Sidney Sweety's eyes. I just
feel like with the especially when he had that vision of him waking up,
where's my spiders? What do you do with my spiders? And it's just
him getting thrown around the room. The amount of just seeing bodies like move
and like hair and stuff like and powers, I couldn't. I would just
love, like, can you just zoom out, get all the filters off
the screen, just have Sidney stand there and let me see the suit.
So I can't even clarify to me for me if it was good or not
because the camera fuckery they are doing with it made it look really poor.
Everything really poor. You know. Last shot of the movie is like the
most clear that you see everybody's outfits, I I guess. And and again
like just even like the body detail, I I just wasn't really a fan
of I even like our other characters, like they just seem plastic key and
again that like he didn't like you didn't see Anya's outfit, Like, yeah,
was the most obscure. I never really Yeah, and what you didn't
like Madam web ski mask fun, she's just playing with her spider like the
best fight about the future. It hasn't happened yet. Yeah, it's like,
yeah, it's not gonna happen still, Like I forget what her name
was, but the yeah with the iron spiders, Iron Spiders, Yeah,
like they're like and I don't even mind the spider, the Madam web costume.
I know that Madam Webbs and the comic books does have like the bigger
things, but it's like, as we've said, as we talked about with
Wilkona Forever, right when you got those blue Angel things, there are just
some things in general in comic book live action that just don't look good.
You just don't do them. And those to me literally just look like Kirk
like look like a new pair of ski masks, Like that's what it looked
like. It did not look like some cool futuristic like goggles from Madam Webb.
It just looked like they went to a fucking Walmart. Oh, get
a red and pink one. Perfect, they put those on the Dakota,
Okay, sure and get the shot. It was not great, not great,
No, not great, And we said everybody that I've talked to that
was like, no, coutumes are gonna be in it more fuck all you
we knew it was gonna be in here so little, like like I don't
even know me and Tyror and uh Dylan did prediction cast. I'd have to
get the times, but I feel like we were all over I could have
to get it. I was at like ten minutes or more ten minutes too.
You were the lowest, but you still more than that. I think,
Oh, I have to find I don't know, I know. I
wrote a miniwhere yeah, a minute and a half something like that, like
it was not surprised that they never really had those powers by the by the
movies in that's like not even a thing that's really occurring, but in the
future it hasn't happened yet. Finished a thought on on a Zecul because I
don't think much more on his costume. I I didn't like the glass the
eye part of his because that to me felt like okay, ski mask and
the like actual whatever helmet part over top of it, but like just the
eyes looked really bad to me. I thought that the rest of it looked
fine, but it wasn't anything specialized. I thought his voice line sounded the
best though. When he had the mask on, you can't see him.
And there was a moment like at the end when he's when he's fighting Cassie
and he like takes he's like saying lines and he takes the mask off and
like the dumping is off. I'm like, what the fuck were they doing
with with like this mass choice, Like, man, just have a mask
the entire time, but I don't trying to show the actor. It was
strange too when he like slept with that lady, which that was odd scene
too, was so strange. Oh that's like they tried to like lamp shade
up by her being like what an icebreaker, but it was like still fucking
weird. But he it was strange because he had his back to the camera
and like it started regular dialogue and then half of it was ADR and then
went back to regular dialogue, and the problem was like it was all different
volumes. So it's just like I don't know if I've seen that. I've
seen time where it's like a scene of ADR, they switch come back to
that scene and that's regular voice. But this was one take, and it
was like back and forth between the two. And it's almost like he chose
a different accent for the adr because at times he would sound very much not
English or American, the other times he sounds more American. So I really
don't know what's going on there. It's not a good I wish they just
chose a more evil, just entity, and just he was just bad and
also too is odd. I never understood when he decided to put on the
spider suit and when he didn't, because he starts in the subway and he's
just himself and I get in the com books he doesn't wear shoes, but
it's weird in this movie does wear shoes. And then so he's in the
subway and he's on the train right and the whole thing is madw Web sees
this vision of the girls goes okay, may I saved them, which actually
that's probably some of the highlight stuff. Is like that close to found destination,
like there was something there. I think you could have had fun with
it either way. She sees these girls are gonna get killed, right,
gets them out of the subway. You see Ezekiel, who she's been seeing
on the train, and he's like running and it's just him, and then
give it about ten seconds and they look, Louke, what's that. He's
crawling on the roof, but he's in a Spiderman outfit. I don't understood
why he put that on, because his plan was still to kill them in
the subway with no mask. So either just keep that off or path the
mask on. Like, I didn't understand why he changed. And that's why
I wasn't sure if there was reshoots and that was a mix because I never
understood why he needed the costume because it didn't look like he was hiding his
identity. I would understand him. Ezekiel sims, I'm a businessman. Don't
want to need the suit to like crawl on the walls. Yes, Like
if that is it, I guess that's that would be the situation. But
yeah, it's like if you're going on a mission, you just wear it
the whole time. Yeah. Suit up a whole lot more sense and very
frustrating plot armor. How he would see the girls in the visions, he
would kill him right away, but in real time he'd be focused on everybody
else. He's hitting regular strangers, he's taking out cars, random people.
Yeah, and it's like none of these people have anything to do, like
just crawl away from them, run and get the girls. There's times he's
active ruin that he rocked in the Amazon, Like why isn't he Why doesn't
he? Yeah, he should have or he's a really good accuracy, So
I feel like that would help him a lot too. Unfortunately, just says
that weakness to cars, you know, he just gets hit out bunch.
Yeah yeah, so but yeah. Another element that that was a weird choice
with his character was that as far as I'm like, I trust what this
guy in the Amazon was saying because everything he said seemed to be accurate one
hundred percent? Which guy he really is, like the guy that she went
back to when her when she visits Peru and he like okay, yeah,
okay, so the good Spider person. Okay, yeah, he understand everything
is everything he says seems to be like almost a hundred percent accurate, So
I have to take him at his word. So if that's the case,
we have to believe that Ezekiela is cursed. That's what he said. He
said, he is cursed, Yes, his curses in this in this universe
here, So like I guess he has the spider bite, so it's giving
him obviously the strength powers the crawling on the walls, but it's also giving
him a bit of that clairvoyant like seeing the future stuff. But like it
seems like he I guess he's only seeing just that one vision over and over
again and not other ones. So is that the curse part? Uh if?
I guess I'm curious why the curse gives him any sort of powers to
see the future at all, like I feel like it would, But what
is the curse? Like a curse would insinuate something bad is gonna happen to
you? Right? And is the bad thing is that he can just see
his death. I think it's just he's gonna die. I think that's more
so, Well, we're all gonna die, we're all cursed. Then he's
gonna get murdered. Then maybe that's what it is because he took the spider
so then that that's like knock down those dominoes that eventually it's gonna come back.
You got Cassie that's gonna give her her Spider girls these powers and they're
gonna come fuck him up at some point that happens like let's say we're podcasting
in person, I kill Kirkland and then the cops later on kill me.
In the same well, Trastle was cursed because he killed Chris, Like no,
like I committed a crime, Like I like, I guess you're they're
trying to say karma is his curse, but like I was looking and again
when they say his curse, like Okay, maybe they're gonna explain why he
really needs to kill these girls or like why is it so important to keep
him alive? But they don't. So I just never understood the curse of
Like I guess it's gonna come back to bite him, But I wouldn't think
that would be cursed. That's just like, it's just that's just karma.
Is there like an idea here that maybe, uh, if you really zoom
in on those shits, like they would have made this more obvious. But
I feel like in that shot that we see of like his in his bedroom
when they are attacking him, yeah, like maybe it would have made sense
if like Madame Wibb was like floating outside the window and was like, you
know, watching this whole thing unfold and giving them tips and telling them future
and helping them do that thing. Yes, and then that would be like
his clue of like, oh he he couldn't in his dreams, he never
saw her and decided, Oh, that's the person need to go after.
I need to go after these spider people. Like I feel like that maybe
would have made a bit more sense, but I just don't understand, like
in terms of okay, this, I feel like his something about his powers
and his instincts are trying to keep him alive by giving him this vision prevent
this thing from happening. But then he doesn't have like any other vision.
So is the curse that he just is cursed with his one vision that's like
clouding his judgment, which brought upon his death sooner because he at least had
like another ten years if you were just sat and waited exactly. Yeah,
So, and yeah, I feel like we didn't really get that. We
just got the ambiguous he's cursed because he stole this spider that set up with
there, So like it would have made so much more sense if they if
they led into like like this toxin that he gives other people's is like killing
him slowly, and like like that's the curse or something along those lines,
because yes, I agree with you. I think that the curse line is
just it's just such a throwaway that has like no real meaning to it overall
with the story, because like Travisy laid out, if he just chilled on
his couch, he'd be still You'd still be kicking, like like you would
have so many more years ahead of them. Oh yeah, these ladies would
have to grow up naturally. But to get the point to come assassinating because
when they come for him, he's like a gray old man. He's he's
got like a big beard. Obviously he's not frail. It seem the scene
they would change, Yeah, they're kind of all over with that. But
yeah, instead he decided dying some like firework explosion or something. I don't
know. But well, technically the giant pee smashed into him, which I'm
like, what is the is that like supposed to be here comes Peter look
at But then it was the p that was the letter that crushed him,
So I don't know what the meaning of that is. Well, we'll take
an ad break and we'll she keeps trying to figure out the curse, or
we won't. We were back and we're back watch the Curse on Showtime.
That's a better curse. And there's a show where I still't know exactly what
the curse is, but much more fulfilling, you know, this, not
not as much, but yeah, no, I'm trying to think if there's
anything else on ezek Yo. Yeah, there wasn't much. Like I didn't.
I liked the brutality they gave him in the visions of killing people.
I appreciated that. Like I said, it didn't make much sense otherwise it
seemed like a pretty dumb villain. I did like the aspects of making a
Spider Man esque character, kind of a villain. When it's like he'd appear
in the Shadows or his movie and it's like, oh, that is cool.
It's like the idea of like, what you were a villain? Spider
Man's after you. They have this one cool shot where he's running on the
side of a glass building. So there's cool like imagery stuff they do with
him. It's just that him and his actions and everything in between doesn't really
work for me. But uh yeah, And I thought the costume was fine,
like from Afar. But again I think I couldn't enjoy because I never
understood when and why it was important? You know. So I'm like,
why does he even own this costume? Like what is he doing? What
is it? What is Ezekiel Simms doing before all this happens? What is
he? He's just this businessman, I assume because he's rich and as his
money. Right. Yeah, another point of maybe half from him is that
he was born in like a less priva household or whatever family and then he
rose to riches. But we yeah, we don't really get to see what
that journey is, not that I really want to, but and like again
it's a dumb question, but why do you have his suit? What do
you need to suit for? Ever? Yeah, I don't know, so
you can do this doesn't make sense. But yeah, even like in that
train sequence when he's like taking on all those cops like pretty easy, like
he was he was really quick at that. He was really good at that.
Yes, if he done done, don't I killed the people after instead
of these cops and other cops and they're like guns and that's a thing you
gotta be worried about. But like, sorry, you hit Sidney Sweeny once
she's done, even Madam Webb, she's still like you're good to go,
but he wasn't doing that at this point, hasn't been at the end when
she can like multiply herself and get these powers. It's he is literally like
Jason Borehies Michael Myers, but with speed. He gets to somebody and he's
one hit killed on them. So it's just like, why is he not
like being Bamboo. He's killed all other random people, but he doesn't want
Webb to be one of those random plot Maybe that's yeah, and that's oh
man, when she's blessed and he's cursed. That's another thing. I just
thought, hang on Kurvey for you because I'm gonna forget about it, because
I was gonna put my notes when Madam Webb has these visions on the train
and gonna kill the guy and they escape me. Of course, the news,
which is another stupid sub plot of she's kidnapped these girls, no one
cares whatever, somehow in the Daily Bugle, like a couple hours later,
it's already in the newspaper. So that was odd. That was probably the
most wild uh plot hole in this whole movie, and in two thousand and
three as well. Remember to read it's not modern day but then random diner,
like not in the middle of New York at a newstand. And so
both Madam Webb and Zeko do two things that make zero sense in the same
within five minutes. She goes, all right, I'm gonna drop you off
all your friends and families, and it's your problems, the deal. Clearly
you're having visions and clear this is superhuman. I don't understand why you would
just feel like dropping you off somewhere. That's what you're gonna do. Like
it made she made the choice to save them at this point, just have
Madame Webb be in. And then Ezekiel, the assistant goes, hey,
I can't find those girls, but I know this is Cassandra. She's a
paramedic addizer. I don't care about the girl, get me the three ones.
She just saved those three girls. You just saw her run away with
Cassandra. Clearly that would be an important character be like, oh fuck,
if we can get her, maybe we'll get the other three. So,
in matter of five minutes, both Madame Web and Ezekiel doing things that make
complete no sense just to extend the plot forward, which is just so frustrating.
Sorry, go ahead, she doesn't have powers, Travis, They're the
ones. Why would I she don't have powers? Why would I need her?
Just with the like the subway sequence there, obviously, like this was
a big thing in the trailer too, showing this this Ezekiel entrance on this
train, and the actual execution of it was very long compared to what I
thought it was gonna be like because she kept seeing little bits and pieces of
the of the memory. Yeah, and I don't know how it was in
your guys theater, but in the extreme theater, it is a fucking loud
theater. I remember I saw Venom two in that, and that like years
you're still recovering from that, and all of the little like train like screeches
or pretty much anytime that she has like a quick like glimpse into the future
moment, my ears like were ringing. It was so freaking loud, and
it just kept happening as if it's like a cheap jump scare moment. And
I'm like, like, first, I think it was like the first one.
Honestly, I was so done with it. And then we had like
three more like flashbacks, and I'm like, Okay, get me the fuck
out of this theater, right, now like sounds like highly immersive, like
you're in the shoes of web. In that moment, you're feeling like she
is Ezekiel crawling on the ceiling ahead of me. He's coming for me.
So I was just like upset in that moment. And then all it showed
me was things I had already seen in the trailer, uh, for the
actual like action of it happening. And then and then all she does is
evact them off the train. And then she like gets a glimpse of her
being arrested because she has this this one lady's skateboard and it's just like part
of me that was just super goofy in my mind. And then they turn
around and she's like there he is right there, and you see this fucking
creature crawling on the ceiling. Meanwhile, that same group of cops is literally
just huddled right behind them, and not at any moment they're like, well,
we'll just like this will explain the situation. All they do is get
on the next train, and I thought that was just atrocious until they actually
see cops and then I'm like, Okay, they're actually doing it, and
then yeah, Ezekel just dismantles them in two seconds. Well, remember the
cops try to rest her. Then I thought, oh, they avoid it
and she didn't. I still was like, why was it such a sudden
just like slammer down on her knees and like arrest her, like just like
it there made no sense because they don't know that Cassandra is the one that
like stole them or anything like that. So yeah, that was that was
just super super ridiculous. And like you guys already said, like when when
Ezekiel just dismantles all the cops, he like dismantles them all and then he
like I don't know what he's doing. I'm assuming just taking them out and
then to get to his target. But like there's such a delay that he
takes the last cop and then they just like run up the stairs. We
got time as if he's like feasting on these cops or something like it.
Just as as you already said, Travis, it was just a way to
extend the plot further along, and it was just so so lazy. It
seemed like he was self nerving in like ridiculous moments to just like extend the
plot. So especially it's not like some situation where he can't kill these girls
and need some information. The whole mission is, I just need to kill
them. They need to be dead. They're gonna kill me. Yeah,
So if they would have given some mguff and then maybe halfway through reveal,
oh shit, these ones are gonna kill me. Like even if he just
had visions about them, be like, I need to know why, and
then there is more. But the whole mission from the point of the movie
point one in the movie is I need to find them and kill them because
they kill me. I don't understand why he does not act with any agency.
I don't understand the choices he makes. And even at one point too
at the end, which doesn't make any sense, Madam Webb makes a lot
of choices. Like I said that choice didn't make sense, she decides,
hmm, okay, this villain. Also, these girls have a few times
gone out on their own. They said they've learned their lesson, but still
they've gone out on their own and being seen and Ezekiel finds them. So
I'm gonna leave them with Ben Parker, who is my friend, has no
powers leave like can leave with them. I'm also gonna leave them with a
pregnant his sister in law. This feels like a great idea, just take
them the fucking Peru, which is like her even going to Peru as wow,
when she's like, I'm gonna go to Peru and you're gonna stay with
my friend, like you're going to Peru like you're a paramedic, Like you're
not just gonna read your mom's chart and find this fucking jungle, which she
does. But so that and again it's like in a day. I think
I think she gets there. I think I think it's gonna be going for
a week, but it definitely the edit makes it feel yes, much less
than that. So there's a part where they all go to the hospital,
which doesn't make sense. Ben doesn't need all three ladies to assist him,
so he should say, hey, I'll go you girls that he doesn't know
a whole situation, but I think he knows enough that there's someone out to
kill or hurt these girls. And I've been told by Cassie to keep you
here, so you stay here. I'll take my sister in law. But
no, they choose to come. And then so I'm trying to I'm making
a long point here, But when they all meet up again and Cassie gets
in the ambulance and then she's about to drive away and he's like, well,
what about that guy, and she's like, don't worry, he won't
hurt you because I got them. We've seen multiple times in the movie where
he will just kill innocent people and cops that are in the way. But
in this time, of course, he just jumps over Ben Parker. He
couldn't like he does. He could have picked up Ben Parker is like bait,
but he's like, no, not this time. But every other time,
people in the diner, the cops, he'll take five minutes kick in
their ass, but this time, no, I gotta be after it.
So again it was just like, oh, don't worry, he won't hurt
you. Yeah, I have them all. What it doesn't make sense the
decision to take them with him like bold. The only way that Ezekiel found
out that they were with that cargo was he had his hacker lady just like
like checking, like the street can't it's got If they don't leave, they're
perfectly fine. It's like, oh, got a trace Ben Parker. Okay,
I'm trackling right now. It's just I was scratching my head when they
were leaving the house let alone, when all that stuff followed, and it
was so strange. It was just like another way to be like old Peter
Parker's in the car with our threats, like what's gonna happen? Especially they
show that vision of like Ezekia, just like fragrenading on board Peter park Actually,
damn, I I just saw Mary Parker and on board Parkers blow up
like whoa, but like and it'd be different as well. To the diner.
Clearly they like they get left in the woods, they go the diner,
Zeko finds them. So they establish to the girl characters that if you
go out in public, we don't know how, but you're gonna be found.
It'd be different if that didn't happen, because oh, let's say this
is the first time, or they should have like maybe made him get that
tech later on. But they know, if we go out in public,
we are fucked. So what do they do? They go in public with
a pregnant lady. You're like, I get they're supposed to be kids,
but they live. We've learned our lesson, Cassie. We won't do it
again. Like I just like I don't like ah man, I just it's
just that no one just sits around and thinks, just like even little stuff
like just do something. Just have fucking Ezekiel kidnap these two people, Like
just it's it's already a trophy lame movie, but just do something at least
that makes sense where we can't go why is this happening right now? Just
be okay, they've been kidnapped, and you know, madame, we has
to go saying or something you know or I don't know, like yeah,
Ezekiel finds it where they're living regardless, so they have to get in the
car and they're on the shit. Like there's so many options, and it
just feels like the best way I could put it is when we have reviewed
X Men or Dan when we did Spider Man. For a good example,
last year, when we did The Flash as a positive I said, at
times, this feels like a Saturday Morning cartoon, And that was in a
good way. This feels like it in a bad way when we go all
this shit's written for kids and they don't care, and we we handwave it
right because we're like, it's a cartoon, it's from the nineties. Whatever,
But this is not that this is a live action multimillion you know,
so only property that they just feel like, ah, people don't care.
And you know, maybe some people won't, of course, but I think
there's enough people that we've seen in the box office and the returns coming to
th these that eventually they will not care because like, oh yeah, there's
no sakes here. It's just you can watch whatever. So frustrating chase,
frustrating characters. Just I get it. They're in high school, but they
had them learn and they didn't. Let's talk more about those those characters.
One one thing I found not to be the best writing here was just the
way they doled out the kind of I guess the backstory for our three Spider
well two be Spider characters, because we talked about that sequence before, how
they were all kind of just like sharing their backstory initially of how oh like
oh my my fam my, my my, well, I guess it starts
out where they're pretty much just saying like, oh, like we're alone,
like we don't have our parents. Our parents aren't we're all fosters. They're
out of town or something, and so it's it's weird. Then later on
after Cassie gets this information that she then says again, I'm gonna take you
guys back to your parents when they've just established that their parents are there,
like and because this is shit, yeah, like an hour or two ago.
It's like, I don't know how she forgot about this information. Doesn't
really make sense. But then like each time we kind of get this backstory,
it's done in a really weird way, and that's not like how anyone
talks or it's just like, okay, twenty seconds of this character's backstory and
then immediately the next person gives you twenty seconds to their backstory, and then
immediately twenty seconds of the next person's backstory. And so I just found especially
where that we got that kind of twice that first round, I guess in
the woods when you get that, and then later on in the motel and
you get the exact same thing where they all just okay, let's take our
roundtable turn here, let's share our backstory. It's like really inauthentic, it's
not how anyone talks, and it's also like why why didn't you do this
as one long sequence where they could explain the reasons of why they are in
this situation, they don't have support from their systems, and I guess maybe
they wanted to hammer it home twice that you could have these scenes at the
very end of the movie. It happens in the cab too, right,
Like that's the first time that it happens, so like three times throughout the
film they give us a little like just basically rehash of the same story you
just extended. Yeah, yeah, it's it's just really it's just really bizarre.
And I guess they were really trying to lead up to that moment,
which, yeah, it is probably worth mentioning it here where Oh my god,
I was dying laughing when she's in Just give me to the very end.
She's in her hospital bed and family here, they're all mine. No,
ma'am, can I see some id how you are related? Please let
me know. The police are here looking for someone that kidnapped three children.
Yeah, the subscription this, I don't know what. And I purely believe
because I don't think the coach Johnson is bad in this movie per se.
I think all its script stuff. And she's somebody that I've seen since fifty
shades till now that she's gone better every time I've seen her, because at
first I was in the camp for it was like, I don't think she's
a good actress, and she's changed my mind. Whatever direction she was,
and when she got blind, she should not have listened to because she was
doing something else when she was blind and had the glasses, and I don't
know what it was. She was trying to be like the fucking that lady
from Matrix though what's her again? Correct? The oracle? Like whatever they
told her to portray it ass was not the go to because that's when it
felt like sn L. Like when there's that shot of her looking out the
window like I've seen better than I ever have, and she turns around and
the girl like, yeah, it felt like an mcalice. Yeah, it
felt like an SNL skit was gonna happen. But just like you said,
ah, they all belong to me, Like it just it felt like she
was still high on drugs. No lenses weren't even dark enough, like you
could literally just see her eyes like looking at the other girls, I'm like,
is this really happening right now? Like I was, I was just
yeah, I was trying to keep it in, but I was laughing so
hard on myself in that. And it's tough because the whole point of Madam
Web this movie was, Hey, there's two Madame Webs, right, there's
this newer version now with the Trench code, and she's more actional, like,
hey, they're gonna go that row. And then the last five minutes
say shoehorn, Oh, she's gonna become that like Galadril. All yeah,
exactly. But the problem is with that character, they can't be a main
character. You strip everything interesting. So to me, the even some perkiness
and some stuff I might have liked about Cassandra Webb in this movie completely goes
away. Now she can see the future like that what you're previewing there,
like what I could get I don't want to see. To Coda Johnson become
this like emotionless, not funny, just like draw like you're taking all her
personality away. And it's fine because the movie's over. But it's like if
that was the pitch of like that's what she's gonna be. You can't have
that as the main character. So it's just weird that they took the two
mad and Webs and combine them. It's fine because it was the ending but
the ending is that pitch of like, well you want to see more of
this, right, It's like, well, no, I liked Coda Johnson
and her chrisma, so I don't want you to just take that all away,
Like that's the thing, like they do that well Gandalf. But the
good thing is like that Gandalf Gray still breaks out, he still jokes,
he stills a personality. There's times where he's very serious and he is,
you know, god like, but then he does break through. He has
emotions where and maybe the movie would be that, but what they proposed here
was just like she's just gonna be all seeing and there's there's just gonna be
generic AI superheroes, and yeah, that all rubbed me the wrong way.
And that's when I was like, man, did I just waste my time?
Like I spent an hour for it? If I'm watching this, I
brought boat bike ride at least an hour to get to and back, like
man, like this is where we ended up and tough tough, Yeah,
well I think we'll just lead off that too. Is like that sequence at
the very end when she's like talking about what their futures are gonna be,
like all that dialogue is so goofy, where she's like, you're gonna fight
for what you believe, what you believe in, You're gonna stand up for
what's right. It's all just like as generic as like a Fortune Cookie level
dialogue, which is funny that they had that kind of earlier in the movie
as well. Like that. It's just it's it's such a weird pre post
credit scene like said a thing but also felt very like meaningless and nebulous.
It was it was very strange, What do you see happened to this power?
I see powerful things coming from you? He's just like, oh boy,
And yeah, when I forgot to mention, that's the biggest laugh in
my theater and unintentional is I don't know why they made me laugh, but
when that character said my family's been deported, seventy percent of the theater all
laughed. I think it was just because like they're just throwing out just general
just rich parents divorce, Like it was all the most generic. You've seen
this in every teen dramatic show, and they're throwing it out here and the
whole scene got laugh and that's I was like, oh boy, Like almost
everybody was laughing at that oh, this is my origin, this is my
origin, and I could believe what I was seeing here, and that's what
I mean. It's just like, Okay, I guess other people are not
doing this too, because it's not played for fun. So that's where I
knew. Okay, majority of theaters with me here, and I wasn't even
finding that funny, but I was laughing because everyone else was laughing, and
it just continued on and yeah, it's funny because like I think the girls
cause actually the three, because I think those three more together there is like
a like a better script I can see, like, yeah, you can
see it. You can see it when they interact with the chemistry just like
amongst each other. It's just the lines that they were they were going for.
It's just like, ah, I can see it. But unfortunately,
with like what I'm getting here, it's just it's not leaving a satisfying taste
in my mouth and not something that I want to see more of, which
is bizarre because I feel like those three are good together, but just for
what we're going with their story and the pair up overall, I'm just there's
no there's some weird way that they like try to give them personality where you
have like one who's like the snarky st nobby one, you have one who's
like the shy one, which is like Sydney Sweeney, which is weird casum,
but I actually think she did a good job of that. Then you
have like the other girl who's like the smart one. Whiz kids, I
eat math for breakfast. I'm like, who the fuck's buying that shirt?
Pick shirt for the entire movie. Yet one moment I was finally able to
like discern what it said she does math like once in this entire movie,
and it's like, so yeah, necessary, oh yeah, for the contractions
are down to twenty one point whatever it was. Yeah, but then is
that good? The funny I found it funny too when they were in the
like the first taxi seen in the back seat and she just says something about
science, and the other girls like, oh you believe in science? Like
I forget what the lot? Yeah, like what are you even talking about?
You're trying to create just like this fake drama between their personality types.
But I don't know. I felt that way for a lot of these characters.
But they're like, okay, let's pick like one personality trait and we're
just gonna like establish that. I don't know if that's something to do because
of time constraints and there's all these different characters, but it leads me to
like, I'm curious how you guys felt about the coda Johnson as we maybe
not her as Madam Web but just like the characterization of her, because she
too was like a very snarky character. But I felt like she had zero
social skills whatsoever, which she's weird for a paramedic. Like she's good,
she's a good paramedic, but she like her social skills are abysmal, like
one of the worst. Like if that was a statin RPG, she'd literally
be at zero. Like when she's at the hospital and this little kid gives
her this this little note to say thank you, and she's like cannot conceive
how to accept this vision? What vision? You're like, she is so
dumb. But then there's another point that she's really resourceful and she's really smart,
and then she like leaves them in the woods too, and it's like
that's a really weird decision. So it's kind of all over the place,
but I feel like the predominant things to me are like, she's kind of
dumb, really bad social skills, really awkward. But then there are these
other moments where there's other stuff, but it seems like that's more just because
of her power shining suit through. So I thought it was a weird choice,
Like, you know, you can't you can't say she's a generic com
book movie leading character because she doesn't have a lot of those traits, so
it's something different. But it's a really weird choice. And it just just
it was like constantly in my face this whole movie, how weird that tried
to characterize her like vision has more, would read the room better. When
the kids like accept this photo and she just looks at I'm Scott, like
she's twelve, I'm like, what do I do with this photo? Like
I feel like it still the wear thall to take it. I think,
almost like what you said the girls that they all gave them one, I
think they gave her too many to decide what this is gonna be. But
I think just because Dakota Johnson is charming, that's why I still enjoyed her
enough in the role. So that's where it worked for me. But yeah,
I think it is a messy character overall. Yeah, I don't think
I'm a really big Dakota Johnson fan. Honestly. I like Chashaw real smooth.
That's the only project that I can think of that Like I liked her
in up on IMDb. I guess she was on bad times with El Royale.
She just couldn't remember her her character too much to that. But uh,
yeah, no, I just I was let down. I don't know,
like I'm not even like a big Madam Web fan for like just throughout
The Spider Man mythos, I guess, but I was just expecting more.
I think it is maybe due to kind of some of what you're talking about.
Their down hell, like they kind of were selective with the charisma choice
to give her, Like she was super like not passing her charisma checks at
so many times early on in this film, and then there's just random moments
when she is just super charming and it seems like she is a completely different
type of character. And maybe you could make the argument that's because of her
growth throughout the film. But like when she goes to see the Peruvian Spider
Man, it's as if they're like, like that's her great uncle that like
like like they've been they've been yeah, just like like they had their family
members essentially, like there's no like who are you? Like, She's never
like stand offish at any point. She's just believing everything this guy's saying.
And then we never see that guy again, like was he even really there
was that a vision like like you just disappeared, like he's been wearing where
did he get the clothes? Like like he's like that baby's gonna come back
and I gotta I gotta talk to her. You know. That was a
plot point that again much like I could have cut the Easter eggs a spider
Man the whole. My mother didn't love me. Get that out of there.
That's not worth it. We get once, Yeah, we get one
scene and I think it's a d R. She looks in the box and
when she looks at a photo, she's like that was really with your time
and then cuts back to goa Johnson. She doesn't have that emotion on her
face at all, it's just she closes it a box and then they just
try to shoehorn. Yeah, they try to just shoot me sometimes. Yeah,
they tried to shoehorn like, oh I didn't need the Oh she was
you were there for me, You're going to Amazon for me because I had
this whatever like either take it all out in her moment with the with the
web, which, yeah, either take it out or make it a bigger
through line to me that hey, yeah, in a movie this long,
we're not talking about short film here or a movie this long, I need
to really feel hey to go to Johnson. She hates her mom anytimee people
bring it. Because even when she brings the mom dying in that party,
which I actually don't mind that joke, that was kind of good, like
white say nothing like, oh she died in childbirth there it's like oh,
Like I was like, oh that's kind of funny, but it's like,
oh no, it's fine, Like she's like I thought that could have been
the scene even more so when you just go like she could have went into
her mom right there of like being a pos and leaving her and how you
gotta have responsibilities like all this stuff, but it just was flowered in.
And then we're supposed to have this emotional scene of her hugging her mom,
caring and yeah, take that. Take it so cheesy, Yeah, take
it all out. Question about that, I guess that was a baby shower.
I guess it was what it was, right, question about the baby
shower scene. So like Emma Roberts takes one of these things out of a
hat and reads this prompt like, oh my mom cut the crust off the
bread, and then she pulls out another piece of paper and she flips it
and she's like, who's is this? Like is blank be legible? Like
could the other people in the room see what? You know? It was
blank? I think there was nothing on it. Yeah, okay, is
that what it was? Yeah? So it's just to open it and there's
no piece of paper, and that's why she's like, well I didn't have
a mine. Yeah. I thought it was just like writing was so small.
So then I'm like, oh, no one can read your baby one
thought hole through me at least the Amazon. Yeah. I think that's what
it was, is that it was blank. And that's how she's like,
who did this? Who would do this? You know? So it's just
funny that like we get lady with note crusts and then right away we just
go straight to the yeah one and it's not even like, oh, there's
an extra one in here, like oh, let's just keep going and like
guessing the name game like no offense if you've done that. I just like,
that's really wanting to involve this person I've ever met before, Like I
feel like, yeah, like my close friends or my older sister or something
like you know that. That's where I'm bonding with these people, not like
really actively trying super hard to bring in this this random who has awful social
skills, or you do a scene where something happened like the reverse where she
saves Ben and they meet the hospital and they bond there, like hey,
you should come like like you like are your friends with Ben and stuff like
that, which also I don't want to forget the fucking oh my god,
the CPR scene, which I knew, okay, they're gonna say it with
CPR. I hated. I know they tried to like lampshade make us in
the joke. She's like high five, like I'm not gonna do that.
But then the next perss just like, you're a really good teachers, just
like she she just taught you like two things, like I hated all this,
like all that stuff too, where she's like I've never said this before,
You're a really great teacher, Like why yeah that even me, like,
you never said that to her, to anyone, Like, I don't
know why just ever face that comment with that that scene of them in the
hotel room and her teach them CPR, it felt like a fucking five minute
scene of her like just just teaching CPR. And I was the only person
I felt like reacting that moment because I'm like, I cannot fucking believe what
I'm seeing right here. This is literally just like you have these three teenage
girls, you know, like, well, I guess in the film,
it's like you you know, do this for thirty seconds and then just like
I'm tying it, what do we do for you know, Julia? And
they're just like it's just like the camera's just on them doing this for like
ten seconds, and I was like, I literally was losing it. I
was laughing so times. It felt per to me to thinking of that fucking
article that Taylor shared of whatever it was, of someone pleasure in themselves in
that movie, and I'm like, this is probably the fucking scene, Like
this is just so weird. It felt decision was it that we like we
need to have this moment in there. It felt like the start of a
porn parody like, oh, that's good. It felt like a movie or
like a scary movie parody and so ridiculous. My favorite thing is when the
the whatever the skateboard girls doing it and it's like, I'm getting tired,
and then's okay, we gotta take over and you gotta make sure compressions.
And I thought Cassi is gonna say something, but she doesn't because then the
smart girl takes over and she was doing littles when she and then cas that's
good. It was the same parody, Yeah, so bad, and it
was not the same rhythm that she specifically said makes you come at the same
time. And it's okay, what's going on here? And they got Sidney
Swinny, Sidney Seny in this fucking oversize like dress shirt they have her in
the whole time. I'm just like, I get you're trying to make her
look younger, but this is not the luck to go for, like it's
just oh man, just and then they save her. That's how they save
her. She gets it. And then Adam Scott also did that to her,
so well, let's just seepr going on, which I did not understand
also too, so she gets in the accent right, almost dies Adam's Scott
saves her his life. That's sometimes she gets the vision and then she goes
this baby shower and they do the pepsi thing and they're like, hey,
want a pepsi. She's like no, and you see pepsi all over this
fucking movie. Oh my god, someone paid for this, but she's like,
no, I don't want a pepsi and she's He's like, well,
that's the rule, no alcohol twenty four hours near your death. And then
when the fire happens, they all get the call. There's no fucking,
no fucking way that if she fucking flat he said, yeah, I've been
pumping you for three minutes you were gone. She is back to work in
twenty four hours. There's no way that would legally. And then when someone
else dies, though they give her a week off, it would be the
fucking reverse. If she died and was dead. Maybe they lied about but
still it's just like he's even like, well, I can't give you out
called has it. You know it's twenty four hours since that situation. No
way she's back on the scene. But uh, that's also probably one of
the least problems in this movie, but I just laugh where near death and
she's she's back on the board, and I didn't mind. Again that also
of her seeing her friend, which I thought was her boss, but I
guess it was one of her good friends because she got very emotional over that
death, more than I was expecting. But kind of like that of her
trying not to know how like you can't just say like, hey, I
saw you fucking die, don't drive it. She's trying her best like I
should dry. So I like that. And then I actually liked the framing
of she turns around and it's literally like a one two and then he gets
hit. So I liked how it wasn't like a oh, we pick up
later, it was literally within seconds. That kind of taught her about the
whole bird thing, So I didn't mind some of that stuff. I thought
there was some merit in there. So I was enjoying some of the beginnings
of Oh, this is how I do it leave a window open. Don't
like it was her learning, Okay, this isn't long. This is literally
a make it che right now and change your future, you know. I
did like aspects of like the initial her realizing her clairvoyance or whatever you'd call
it. Her just visions of the future. It just got a little bit
messy for me. Like it's actually that one I didn't love too much.
It just I think the logistics of it just seem so ridiculous because you have
this building that's just exploding and then they do like an aerial shot of the
ambulance that got smushed, and like, the where the fuck was that truck
going, because it's not like a four way where he's going like down another
highway, Like it's literally like a parking lot that he was just gunning for.
Like it it it's as if it's a zombie apocalypse moment established there's like
water right there too. Actually you think about it, Yeah yeah, no,
yeah, Like it made absolutely no sense. And then later on in
the film, I can't remember what specific moment was. Maybe it was Adam
Scott's character or oh it was actually Dakota Johnson when she grand theft autos the
ambulance and she's she's chasing them. I swear it's that exact same truck that
they're like head a head on and then she like she turns on the lights
and that's what I got killed. That's what I thought of. There's like
a log truck in this movie too. Hey yeah, I thought something's gonna
happen there, but it did litually not. Here's another really nitpicky thing.
Uh so that sequence when she drops them off in the woods and then just
leaves just back in three hours range. Yeah, but I also it's funny
like we go we cut back and forth between them and the first time we
go back to the girls in the jungle, seems like they've been there for
a bit, but then like the way they're just standing around doesn't really make
sense to me. The more nitpicky thing is that like they started a fire,
they campfire there, so they've been there for a bit. Very resourceful
then, but also like I don't think I would think to do that in
that moment, like we better and it's nice and early. So there's two
sides where were like, Okay, they're they're pretty smart. Okay, they
did this thing for survival. They didn't they need to, but whatever,
they did it. But then the worst part is they don't like put it
out when they leave, just like this whole forest stuff. Man, we've
seen it before actually here in you know BC. So I don't know,
very weird. Why why was there a campfire there at all? That just
seemed like a weird part of this set for me. That didn't really make
any sense, and like, I don't making a fire without like tools readers.
Maybe they had lighter, but like we didn't see that at any point,
so probably, yeah, good, it's good observation. I mean,
she's she's always wanted to be a girl scout or whatever she said, so
maybe she just yeah, she probably picked out some stuff there, so because
I thought she said she was a girl scout, so that's probably where it
always wanted to be a girl. So okay, I might have misheard either
way, Yeah, light or something, But yeah, I did notice that
they didn't put out the fire the whole time. That's right by some bushes
too, so you know, we're experienced with the wildfire seasons, so it's
like that is big. No. No, it's like it's either that or
throwing a cigarette butt a window, Like those are two things you don't do,
you know. Let's take our fine break. Probably got her found thoughts
and some ratings. We'll be right back, and we're back, so I
only have one more note. But the floor is the uh the taxi cab
that she grand theft autos right early on in the film. That basically just
makes it the full length of this movie. I was so shocked that she
was just keeping that stolen vehicle throughout the entire thing, like plates off,
which that was fucking hilarious too, because the crow bar is just sitting right
next to the car. Oh yeah, like this is my handy dandy crowbar
to just take plates off vehicles. This is perfect. And then she leaves
it just on the ground again, okay, whatever, But just the fact
that like she ran that right through the diner. It got completely squished,
and I imagine that worker is still looking for and like, so what she
took the plate off? It's like a licensed taxi cab like it. The
news is looking. The news has reported a woman has abducted three. She's
parked it at her home. She's parked it at the hotel where everyone they're
playing. Yeah, and it's dent to too. Remember too, it's not
just like a regular taxi. It's a taxi that's all fucked up. She
also takes that taxi to the airport to go to Peru. Yeah, that's
what she leaves Ben with yeah, and she does long term parking, it
seems. Yeah, that's why I wish they took up the whole subplot of
everyone is on amber alert for these girls, but they don't. No one
finds them, except they do find there's one guy. The thing. Oh,
these girls were dancing sexy on the table. I better fucking phone,
and then they they intercept totally gonna fucking rat out these three girls. Yeah
here, I'm gonna do my job. And I just lost the cost of
no questions for a z ego because he's posing as the cops, like confirm
not the girls, oh ten four, but yeah, not the girls.
Not the girls. It's just like it's just like it's no one. They
don't have any more questions. They just reported this house. He already there
no backup than not the girls. But it's fine. I'll let that one
go because okay, maybe you know they're fine, even though I don't know.
It's New York in a post nine to eleven, two thousand and three.
I feel like they're not just giving up on oh yeah, that's it,
no other questions, Like I feel like people are on pretty high all
that time number to give them too, like it's like, I think this
is a fake number you just gave us. Guys, are you sound like
your ad R? That's the curse. That's the curse. He talks out
of sync. I need to get rid of this. It is pretty jarring.
It's a good thing for villain to have opponents of balance. Can you
guys remember what? Because they have they rip off the With great power comes
great responsible When you accept responsibility, you become powerful. I think was the
line. Yeah, and then at home like they hit it like three or
four times, so it was it was taking the line, just flipping it
because it was like, with great power comes great responsibility of saying one you,
when you accept responsibility comes the power. And that's why I guess when
even though at the end she's say again, I think terrible plan. The
only way take out this guy is like get him into a warehouse that but
if he just doesn't go on the fucking weare else. And those those poor
helicopter people died for nothing. Literally two innocent people got killed. And then
the way he dies is so lame. They just falls to the cement and
a pee crushes him. It's like, okay, cool, Like you prefer
death earlier but it happens when she like she pulls out this thing and she
blocks the bullets and stuff, and they oh in the hero moment, it's
just like when you accept responsibility. The whole movie, she's been saving these
fucking girl's ass, like we murdered someone too when she flew through Times Square
and like hits him when he's on top of Ben Parker's vehicle, Like there's
like a taxi or something that just explodes, like we're supposed to imagine that's
empty. Come on, yeah, but it gets fun where it's like at
this point because you know she was how long was she's improved for? We
don't really know, but it seems like in that time she's like mastered her
powers, but then she hasn't because then that helicopter gets taken down. You
think, okay, well she probably could have foreseen that, but then she
can fir see so many other things that she can kind of control out at
this point then obviously she's doing the like astral projection thing too, so it's
it's just weird. It's like, did she master powers? Did she not?
I guess is it supposed to be that he can also mess with her
powers because he can somehow see the future too partly, but his cursed it's
it gets a bit confusing. I also just found like that and that action
sequence, just the way it was edited, the way it was shot,
was not good at all. I felt like that was maybe the worst display
of how her power has worked too, because like I actually didn't look good
either too. Like Ghosts Dakota, there can be all sources of issues with
like origin movies, and we've talked about those over over the years, but
I generally like just seeing a character who recently gets powers and they are learning
their powers, and sometimes it's very rushed in movies. We've seen that a
lot too, but I liked that stuff in this movie. I thought it
was fun for the most part, with the exception of like the train sequence
like way longer than it needed to be in other pacing things. So I
just found it weird that they kind of dropped the ball for the powers at
the end because she's doing all these things that we're supposed to believe that she's
maybe seen this and gone back, but it just comes across more as like
Domino's powers or she's just super lucky, rather than her using this. And
I thought they could have edited it better, and then they just like overdo
it later on. But yeah, just like the idea of her like one
of these fireworks is gonna blow a hole in the wall and they're gonna go
through this hole, but like if that didn't work, they would die.
And obviously she can see the future, but like the whole part of it
just seemed weird. And then the choreography at all. I just don't like
how point how powerless they made the other three girls, Like the only thing
they did was the CPR, and like, you know, it was kind
of a throw away. Even even Julia, she's like, I know taekwondo,
It's like she never really uses that. But the rest of it is
just you know, every season of Survivor there's always a challenge where someone's blindfold
and they're commanding people like, oh, crouch going to this pool, and
it's like it's that level of simplicity that we have for this where I swear
like three or four different times, she's just like duck dug, Julia,
no, you duck, no, you don't. Fireworks always shooting over top
of their head. Just such a such a weak sequence. And then yeah,
as you mentioned, like the way he dies too is super lame.
Yeah, this helicopter thing is weird, and I know she goes up on
the roof and she's like calling for the helicopters, like could you not did
you not foresee that they would not be able to pick you up where you're
standing, but you're still go to I just feel like they were almost dealt
in impossible tasks with like how her powers work, but then they definitely didn't
follow through with it in a way that at least looks cool. So just
a complete fail of a final scene for me. Yeah, and again Innocent's
dead as well at the end too. Those poor helicopter people just they're just
firefighters who showed up very quick. She gave that signal again the building very
quick. Good on their job and let these people die, and they didn't
really need a helicopter, Like the girls got down, Okay, she fell
in the wall. Like we don't even actually know the girls got down,
because it just cuts to them pulling out the code in the water and doing
CPR, right, so it's like, how did they get from that burning,
big exploding roof and the copter is down? Clearly they were fine to
do without her. Yeah, so must have done a big dive from the
top of the building, which if they if she could have done that later,
I couldn't have done that all along, and did I I missed,
So this is definitely a user error. How did she get blinded? I
missed that? Just one of the rockets in the water, Yeah, okay,
I saw it was her arm. Yeah. And then when they pull
up and she was like, there's either a second shot or just a hand
one actually hit in the face or maybe she like went to block and that's
why we thought it hit her. But at first I thought her her power
was just like upgraded, like she's just she's on another level now. And
then I just saw the scratches around her eyes. I'm like, okay,
I guess she's blind now. Yeah, some helicopter propellers in the face.
She can see better than ever. She's like, she's like, uh neo,
and she has three Those are my notes. My note was what Dylan
brought there, bring up the accept of responsibility and great power will come.
Yeah, that was that was because you guys mentioned some other things about like
the four Spider Man connections up all that bothered me. That one was just
like so over the talk for me that it generally bothered me. That just
feels like somebody that's seen a couple of Spiderman movie like, oh, what's
up saying again like with great power with greate respart, Like it sounds like
someone actually rewrite this line for me. Yeah, or again, like I
said, it's like they didn't have the rights, Like oh, you can't
say with great power comes with great responsibility? What if I say, with
responsibility or if you accept responsibility you get great power? And like, oh,
yeah, that's legally fine, Like that's what that felt like. Definitely,
I agree, that's I'm exhausted. Yeah, final thoughts doone? No,
I don't think so. I think we kind of cover it all.
I you know, to me, this like review is very indicative of what
my viewing experience is like, which just like yeah, talking about these super
points and just laughing a lot. So I like that I kind of got
it twice in a rose. You know what. I love this movie.
This movie's probably nothing but joy in the three hours since it's consistent, so
I it was very very pleased with my time here. But yeah, you
won't you won't see it high in the Golden Geeks categories. You won't see
me revisiting it at any point, but for this night on you know,
February fourteenth, twenty twenty four, I had. I had a good time
webbing it up with you guys, mount you especial even though you don't.
Do you have numbers? Would it be a thumbs up or thumbs down?
Like is it a pass or fail? I'd probably I'd probably drop a clean
six on this, sinceter six. Exactly what do you got, kir ezekiel
Man, He's gonna be leading the charge. Yeah, I just rehashing what
I already said earlier in the non spoiler section, like this is just not
a good movie. This is not well written. This is just a lot
of things in here that make this bad. But I still had some fun
times with it, however, Like I did see this alone, I think
I had more time, more fun with you guys, just kind of going
over those pop points again. But again, like, I'm never going to
revisit this, And even if I have, like somebodies that haven't seen it,
it's like I'll just recommend them see they see it on their own.
I wouldn't want to rewatch this again. And I am gonna fail this movie.
I think it's I think it's truly awful and it's just like another bad
one on the Sony Spider Spider people just just movie list that they got going
on right now. And do you have this lower than Morbius, Yeah,
definitely, Like I I would give this like a two out of ten.
I think it's really yeah. So I just did not like what they did
here, and I think it's it's sad because I had not really high expectations.
But like whenever, whenever you have like a dreamcast for something like Sidney
Sweeney as Julia Carpenter, and like, I can't believe I'm just getting that
character. Let like let alone that actress playing that character, but like that
character live action, like what that stuit gonna look like? Like my gosh,
I just can't wait to see what they do with her character and like
dive into some of her story. It's just they just had her in here
as a as a I was gonna say, like a c rate character.
I guess she's beat your character, but like they just really don't do anything
like on her actual storyline that I really enjoy, even her powers, Like
it seemed like something that I had never seen before. So she has some
plasma she had like a bill. It happens in the comics. Just really
I had never seen that before, so that that was new to me and
which I sometimes in the comics. Her name is Cornwell's well because I looked
up mid like why the fun do they go with Carpenter? But I guess,
I guess mid movie. But yeah, you had a lot of better
than the other. So I'm surprised to Jessica Cornwell Cornwall. It's like,
I don't know, some old time you name. I didn't like it,
but Cornwell reporting. When I see this, it's like, Wow, we're
probably not gonna see another Madam Webb type adventure for ever live action. So
uh, just a big drop of the ball there. And what's Craven gonna
bring us? I don't know. Well, we'll see. I'm gonna be
there for the review. I'm excited for and I say I see it with
someone. Yeah, I thought Craven was gonna be worse than this, and
I'm not as confident now because I thought this could be more interesting. So
but I guess the other point is I thought Craven looked bad and not interesting,
so maybe it's gonna be even worse boring. That's what I'm worried about.
Yeah, it's just gonna be very Maybe we get some cool fights at
least maybe maybe that's what I hopeful. At least we're like, here's how
much action here? That scene where they bites off some dude's nose. Maybe
they're just scene yeah, fighting rhino, fighting chameleon. Maybe there's some things,
but yeah, I guess at one point higher than kirklo like a three
out of ten. But yeah, there's not much here. Yeah, I
think I've said it all. It's just disappointed. But it's kind of like
why said the overall where this is the norm now, Like it's pretty low.
So I feel like Venom three or Craven can just be like a solid
movie and then I will pass it. But for me, I just can't
on the film base. I think on the so bad, so good.
Yeah, there's definitely some merit there. Maybe I will watch again because Emily
hasn't seen it, so maybe there will be a time and place, but
I hope it's a little further away. But yeah, once Sony moved down
two to go, we'll see what happens, but we will be there.
I think Craven's in July. I think somewhere in there in July August,
and then venoms in the fall. So we will be there, and I
promise you. I don't know if it's gonna be good, but it will
definitely not be boring. Take care, Bye bye,