WEBVTT

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Hey, hey, hey, good
people, I'm back with something for you

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to think about. Listen up.
If you don't make the time for your

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boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other,
husband, wife, if you don't make

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the time for them, trust and
believe somebody else will. People have to

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stop it. When you get in
a relationship with someone, you have to

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remember how important it is to continue
in that relationship treating your significant other just

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as good or better than what you
were while you were dating that person.

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While you were quarting that person.
Now, I know some of you.

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You don't those rough relationships where you
got into it wrong, acting wrong and

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they accepted you. But even still, there has to be consistency. People

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want consistency. A lot of people
get into relationships. They go out of

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their way to make the relationship happen. I know some men they'll travel across

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the world to meet a woman they
want to be with, and vice versa.

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Women would do it too, So
when a person really wants a relationship,

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they would do what they have to
do to make it work. Don't

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ever believe long distances kill a relationship, because if people want them to work,

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they will. So a lot of
individuals get into relationships and then all

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of the romance and the intimacy and
the fun things just fall by the wayside.

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You cannot be that way, because
I'm telling you, you set yourself

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up for a lot of things you
truly don't want. When you are ignoring

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or rejecting your significant other. It
is so very important that you put in

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the time. You make sure,
no matter how busy your schedule is,

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that you put in time for your
significant other, because if you don't,

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I guarantee you with certainty, someone
else will. Someone else will definitely be

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more than willing to give your significant
other the time that you should be given

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to your significant other. This is
how, unfortunately, a lot of emotional

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affairs happening, because people are desperate, they're longing for they're yearning for someone

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to just listen to them. Some
of you are not listening to your significant

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others. They're trying to tell you
something, they're trying to show you something,

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and you're not paying them no attention. And it is not healthy for

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your relationship. It is not healthy
at all. So when someone comes alone,

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they may be going through the same
thing with their significant other, and

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boom, there you go an emotional
affair. Sometimes it's individuals who are not

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in the same situation, but there's
still someone who's looking for something and there

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you are, or there your significant
can other is. So you have to

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be careful, very very very careful
about what is going on in your relationship.

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You must always take time for your
significant other. As I said,

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it does not matter how busy you
say you are or how busy you are,

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for real, you must take time
for your significant other because someone is

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just waiting in the wings. Trust
they are waiting in the wings for your

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significant other, or they're just waiting
in the wings for someone who needs someone

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to talk to, need their ego, stroke need to be told they're beautiful

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or whatever nice compliment. Some of
you are not giving your significant others compliments.

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You should be complimenting your significant other. You should be letting them you're

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proud of them, You're there to
support them, whatever it may be.

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You should be complimenting your significant other, and your significant other should be complimenting

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you. This is not a one
way street. It goes both ways.

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But some of you are workaholics work
at its, you truly are, and

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you've begin to console in your closed
workmates when you should be doing that with

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your significant other. See this is
why it is so easy, I mean

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terribly easy for so many people to
open that door to temptation or step through

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that door of temptation, because people
set themselves up. You set yourself up,

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and you put yourself in that situation. You know it's wrong. You

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know you wouldn't want your significant other
act in that way towards you. So

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you have to be careful of what
doors you open in your life. If

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you know you're in a relationship,
then that relationship should matter to you.

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It shouldn't matter what's going on,
shouldn't matter how you're a significant others feeling

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should matter. If it does not, you are in the wrong relationship with

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the wrong person both sides. You're
the wrong person to be with, period.

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But a lot of people are settling
for this. A lot of people,

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a lot of people are upset and
hurting because they're significant other show someone

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else who would listen to them or
who would just let them be who they

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are, So they open themselves up
to that person and started an emotional like

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affair, and a lot of people
are upset about it, but they don't

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realize what they've contributed to their relationship, what they've caused in their relationships.

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Now, now, don't give me
misconstrued. I'm not saying that is a

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pass for your significant other to talk
to someone else. I'm not saying that.

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I'm just saying, if you don't
put it in the time, someone

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else would put it in that time
for you. Simple as that. Some

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of you are not giving your significant
others no time. You go to work,

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you don't check going them through today, You come home late, you

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don't try to communicate when you get
home. You just seem like you don't

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have time for your significant other.
And you think that they are supposed to

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sit around and just wait through the
their thumbs, just waiting for you to

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notice them. No, if you
don't notice them, someone else will.

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And some significant others will look for
someone else to notice them, and when

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they do, it's not a good
ending a lot of times. Mine suggestion

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would be make time. That's my
advice. Make time for your significant other.

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I don't care what you have to
shuffle around, who you have to

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shuffle around. Always, always,
let me say it again, always make

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time for your significant other outside of
your children. If you have any outside

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of anything and anyone, you need
to make time for your significant other,

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and I'm not talking about old schedules
them in once a week. You need

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to make time every day for your
significant other. After all, that's who

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you chose to be with. Too
many people are in relationships, married and

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unmarried. In relationships with people,
it's just like their roommates, their roommates,

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companions. No nothing going on,
no intimacy, no communication, nothing,

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no chemistry. They're not I be
nothing, just dead, and no

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one is doing nothing about it.
Neither person is trying to make it better.

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That's why I've said so many times
in earlier episodes, it is important

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that people keep the fire going.
Keep the fire going in your marriages,

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keep the fire going in your relationships. When the fire dies, you are

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going to feel the effects of it. You are. Some people are just

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no good. They're immature, and
no matter what, they're gonna cheat.

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They're gonna cheat. You can next
time, you can do whatever. They're

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still gonna cheat because they're dirty dogs, male and female. They're no good.

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They're immature. That's just who they
are. That's just they are.

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But overall, for any relationship,
you must put it in that time.

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You must. It is very important
because people want to know that you care.

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They want to know that they mean
something to you. They want to

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know that the relationship means something,
and lip service is not gonna get it.

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But for so long, you have
to act. Actions speak louder than

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words. You have to act.
Love is an action word. You can

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say I love you all day.
You got to show it in your actions

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if they're important to you. You
know, I know. People say,

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well, I gotta work. Okay, okay, that's not even a topic

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that you have to discuss. That's
not even anywhere on the radar, because

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duh, of course people have to
work. But you do that prior to

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the relationship. You was working prior
to the relationship. But you always made

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time, didn't You was working hard
prior to the relationship, but you always

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made time for her or for him, didn't you. Of course you did.

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You did whatever you have to do
when you were trying to get that

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person. So you have to continue
to work because if you don't put in

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the time, someone else will.
And some of you think, oh no,

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she'll never or he'll never. Okay, you can believe that of them

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you want to. Some people may
not, but the majority will, and

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those who don't, they'll simply leave
the relationship because they're tired. They're tired

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of being in a deadened relationship not
being shown anything, so they'll just walk

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away from the relationship. They won't
cheat on you, because that's not who

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they are. They'll just walk away. All I'm telling you is, if

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you're in a relationship with someone that
you supposedly love and really care about,

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well, you know, if you
really did, we wouldn't have You have

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to have this conversation right now.
But because a lot of people talk it

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but they don't walk it, then
that's why having this conversation. There are

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millions of people who are in relationships, but those millions of people are immature

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individuals. They think they're mature,
but a lot of people are not mature.

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They think the same as they used
to think. They're running like you

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ever seen a tire that's in the
mud and it's just spinning, spinning,

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spinning, going nowhere. That's what
a lot of people. Relationships are tires

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in the mud, just spinning,
spinning, spinning, going nowhere. You

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have to continue to nourish your relationship. You have to in order for it

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to continue to grow, because if
you don't anything that you don't nourish will

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become stagnant. Anything that's another human. If you don't feed that human and

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nourish that human and give that human
what that human needs to develop, they

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will become stagnant in their development mentally, physically, emotionally, verbally, they

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will become stagnant. Anything plants,
anything you have to give attention to.

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And that's all I'm trying to tell
you here today. If you are in

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a relationship and you feel that you
really care about who you're with, you

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gotta keep that keep kindling that fire, Keep continue to kindle that fire,

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because it takes consistency. You have
to always show that individual that they matter

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to you. I know some people
are more affectionate than others, but you

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cannot use that as a crutch and
make it an excuse because you knew that

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before you got into relationship. They
probably knew it too, But still you

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did enough to get him or her. Even though some people are followers,

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they just take the lead of the
initiator. But still you've done enough.

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You have to continue to do enough. And you know what, don't make

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excuses. If you know that you're
a person who is not very affectionate,

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you have to figure out why why
are you like that? Normally, it's

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because you was brought up that way. You were brought up not being given

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that type of attention, love and
affection from your parents. They was not

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individuals who told you I love you, who showed you, who hugged you,

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who loved on you. Everyone is
not fortunate to have that. But

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you you cannot make that as an
excuse because you can learn to be that

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way. If you love a person, show it, show it in your

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actions. And have you noticed I
didn't say one thing about spending one penny,

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however, because it's not about money. People need to know that they're

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appreciating it. You see them,
you hear them that you're not just saying

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nice words, that you're showing them
that you love them, that you're given

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that time. You're making a way
to give that time for a relationship.

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It is very very important to a
healthy relationship. I have to pause for

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a second because I almost sleaze.
Just came out of nowhere, But it's

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very important to a healthy relationship to
keep kindeling that fire. Keep kindeling that

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fire. You have to because for
relationships to last and be healthy and strong,

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you gotta keep working, keep showing
up and doing the things that you

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need to do, keep making that
time. Because people stay together thirty forty

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fifty, sixty seventy years, let
me tell you one thing, it don't

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mean that they're all they're soul as
love. They stayed together all of those

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years, or they're together all of
these years, that do not mean they're

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in love, honey in their own
fire and passionate for each other. A

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lot of times it's complacency, it's
familiar, it's comfortable, it's companionship.

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They've been together so long they don't
want to start over. They've not even

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thinking about that. They just rather
cruise on to the graves with who they

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have been with us so long.
They just rather stay there than to be

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by themselves. So don't think because
people have been together thirty forty fifty years

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that oh, it's all of this
and that, because a lot of times,

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most times it's not. I know
plenty of people who've been married forty

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and fifty years, plenty of them. They are miserable, can't stand each

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other, sleeping separate rooms, don't
sit down to eat together, and none

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of that. So just because people
have been together alone time don't mean anything.

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If you're gonna be together with someone
for years and years, make it

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matter, Let it mean something.
Be adventurous with each other. I'm not

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saying crazy stuff because no one should
do anything in a relationship that they don't

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want to do. Period. Anyone
brings some foolishness to you in your relationship.

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No, you have a voice,
speak up, implement the word no

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in your vocabulary. But I'm talking
about individuals who are in relationships. You

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must make time for your significant other
because if you don't, someone else will

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swoop in and make the time for
that person that you should be making and

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you have only yourself to look at. Yes, as I said earlier,

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individuals make choices that they want to
make. So if they decide to entertain

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someone else, they made that choice. They didn't have to do it.

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But when you don't do what you're
supposed to do, someone else would be

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so happy to swooping and give the
time that you should be given. So

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I just wanted to talk about that
because a lot of people are in this

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situation. They're in relationships not giving
time to their significant others, no time

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at all. But you expect for
your significant other to still want to be

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with you, still be in love
with you, and all of that.

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It don't work like that. You
must put in that time. You must

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give that time. You must be
loyal, faithful, dedicated, committed to

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who you're with. You gotta let
them know they are important to you.

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Some of you put your children before
your significant other and don't don't under any

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terms at all, or don't do
not twist up my words. I believe

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children should be first, meaning you
as their protector, their provider, their

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nourish, their nurturing and nourishing person
for them. All of that, yes,

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first and utmost, But I'm talking
about in your relationship. You love

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your children, but you still must
must make time for your significant other.

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You must. You must because when
the children grow up and leave that nest,

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who want to be there? Your
significant other? You must make time

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for your significant other because if you
don't, it can lead to emotional affairs

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and sometimes full blown affairs. It's
no reason to have an affair, but

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sometimes it does happen when people are
ignored by their significant others. And I

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just wanted to talk about it,
so I'm leaving it right there. As

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always, Thank you for listening,
much much much much much love to each

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and every one of you. Please
share this episode. If it's your first

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00:23:49.640 --> 00:23:53.960
time here, thank you. Please
come back again. Listen to my other

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episodes. Also listen to Relatable Life
Chronicles. That's another podcast I have.

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00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:08.480
Please check it out. Share for
those who listen to me on occasion.

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Thank you so much for coming back. Much love to you. You know

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how in every episode and I hope
you do it, think on it,